#if they kill bangalore i will destroy everything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ironmanstan · 4 years

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Rating:Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:Graphic Depictions Of Violence (tw for: self-harm, vomiting, canon-typical violence, intrusive thoughts, self-worth issues)

Categories:F/F,Gen

Fandom:Apex Legends (Video Games)

Relationship:Wattson | Natalie Paquette/Wraith | Renee Blasey

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-Renee Blasey felt like the name of someone else. Like the name you found in the back of the book you bought at a thrift store. Foreign, strange, completely removed, yet tied to you in a small, tenuous connection. A name where you know of the owner, but they will never know of you.'

Renee Blasey didn’t, and would never know Wraith. But Wraith felt like she was learning more about her everyday. ---

Wraith thought she stopped being afraid a long time ago. The voices disagree.

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This is a fic I've been wanting to write forever, the voices of the voice always struck me as similar to my intrusive thoughts, so this is my interpretation of Wraith having OCD. This isn't beta-read so please let me know about any inaccuracies or grammatical/spelling errors.

Reblogs > Likes :)

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Renee Blasey. 32 years old. Home planet: Typhon, destroyed decades ago.

None of it seemed to fit.

She’d thought finding answers, having a place to start, would make everything feel worth it. But it only brought on more questions. More fear.

Typhon, where the IMC tested their fold weapon? Were her parents IMC? Was that how they evacuated the dying planet after she was born? Were they still alive. Still working for the IMC, stealing from the world like a blight of roaches?

She may never find out.

It didn’t discourage her. But it felt… Weird. She’d thought she’d have a moment when she heard her name for the first time. It’d fit like a missing puzzle piece and it would sound familiar. She’d wear it with pride and regain a part of her identity.

Renee Blasey felt like the name of someone else. Like the name you found in the back of the book you bought at a thrift store. Foreign, strange, completely removed, yet tied to you in a small, tenuous connection. A name where you know of the owner, but they will never know of you.

Renee Blasey didn’t, and would never know Wraith. But Wraith felt like she was learning more about her everyday.

She didn’t often think about her home planet. There was nothing remarkable she’d found about Typhon from her searches. A research outpost for the IMC’s ARES division. Destroyed in the battle of Typhon. All she was left with was knowledge of a place that no longer existed. Typhon was gone, just like Renee. She didn’t have a home waiting for her. She wasn’t even sure if she had any family who would be waiting for her.

The most home she had was here. The Apex Games were, ironically, the most stable thing she’d had in her new life. No more worrying about where to sleep, or whether she’d eat that day. She had her own apartment in the dorms provided by the games. She hadn’t known what it was like to have a place to call her own before.

She’d wake up and go eat breakfast in the commons. Watching the resident nerds, Elliott and TaeJoon, bickering over engineering schematics. Usually ending in Elliott pouting and TaeJoon rolling his eyes. Ajay smirking as she pissed both of them off with a “Why dontcha just kiss already!”.

It was always strange when a newcomer joined at first. But over time they always melded with the group. Natalie was a great example. Renee could often find her with Caustic. Talking in that bright, sweet voice of hers, as she rambled about her inventions. The fact that he never told her to be quiet or to stop talking surprised pretty much everybody.

Wraith wasn’t sure if, after all this time, she’d melded like the others.

There was that separation she couldn’t help but keep up. The internalized fear that wouldn’t go away. The pain and the memories of the facility she’d been trapped in since she’d woken up. The IMC was ruthless, and crafty. She wouldn’t put it past them to send someone after her undercover. A legend infiltrating the games to carry a mission out for them was a plausible worry.

At least, that’s what the voices said.

The voices were the other thing that kept her from getting too close. They’d gone beyond their usual problems. Which were their constant chatter, and warnings. A few had split off, and become paranoid.

The anxiety she felt from them wasn’t normal.

The paranoia was intense, and seemed never-ending in the moment. When she got stuck in a cycle of it it felt like she was trapped. Everything was worrying and nowhere was safe. She was a bird in a covered cage. Or rather, a bird in the trunk of a moving car. Scared, alone, and not sure what the hell was going on.

The paranoia was strange. It always found some arbitrary thing, some stupid, small detail to hook its claws into. Then the voices would obsess, and obsess, and obsess . No issue passed without being checked from top to bottom for something to worry about.

Like Bangalore mentioning the long lost IMC scientist, Renee Blasey. It obviously meant she knew that was what Wraith really was. It meant Bangalore’s life as a soldier was a cover story, a lie. It meant she was here to capture her for the IMC.

Obviously.

The IMC was dead, defunct. Even Bangalore couldn’t find their survivors. Even if the IMC was looking for Wraith, seeking to dispose of their experiment gone wrong, they would’ve found her by now. How long had she been a legend, known to the Outlands as the universe’s only voidwalker? If they weren’t competent enough to find her by now, she shouldn’t worry for the future.

And yet their mantra would circle her constantly, for hours on end.

The IMC will find you in your sleep. They’ll find you and kill you. They’ll kill everyone else too. You’re not safe here, and you never will be.

She couldn’t be afraid forever.

The conclusions she had to jump to, to confirm the thoughts, made no sense in her moments of clarity.

And those moments were far and few.

She always had to disorient her mind to see things for what they were. These voices loved it when she was tormented, in pain. Hurting herself, wasting her time, disrupting her body. It was the only way they could be satisfied, the only way to quiet them.

They craved power over her actions, forcing her to do against her will. But the blurry state of mind after she did what she was told made it harder for their words to hit their target.

She couldn’t sleep until she did what she was told, she couldn’t do anything. She wasn’t allowed to, or else bad things would happen.

But tonight she’d done what she was told. For once she’d given in. Fingers down the throat made quick work of it. Vomit it out, flush the thoughts away, take it all away. A quick burn for a night of peace, why won’t you just get it over with? Do it. Do it now. please PLEA̢̽Ś̯͇̽Ẹ̌ ̼͕͍̄̉N̜͍͎̟͕̋̓̏͐̋O̹͉̜̠͊͒̍̚͘ͅW̢̗̰͎̌̿̎͆͜͠

The voices were convincing, to say the least.

Vomit in the sink.

Vomit on her fingers.

Vomit on her lips.

Renee’s breaths were slow, and reverberated on the tile walls of her bathroom.

Her mind was silent for the first time that night. All she could hear were her shivering fingers hitting the porcelain of the sink, muffled by the hum in her ears. The hum being the hundreds of thousands of voices, the other Wraiths. They were all stirred together in her mind. It'd sounded like they'd melded into a singular tone once she started vomiting.

She didn’t do this often.

Often enough.

Only when she needed the voices to stop.

The sinking feeling in her chest told her what she was doing was wrong, dangerous even. She buried it, shoving it down. What else could she do? Let the voices scream and wreak havoc? Let her brain catch fire every time someone looked at her wrong?

She turned the faucet on, washed her hands, her face, and brushed her teeth. She turned the water off, and looked in the mirror.

If she was seen by anybody else, they’d think she was like them. Not always hearing voices from other worlds. Not paranoid and terrified at every waking moment. Just her. Thirty-two year old Renee Blasey, standing in her bathroom, getting ready for bed.

She watched her reflection a few more moments. She sighed in relief when she didn’t see her eyes shift. They always did when the voices spoke to her. She pulled her gaze away, stepping off the bathroom carpet and leaving to her bedroom.

It wasn’t always like this.

She sunk back into the softness of the pillows and fresh sheets around her. She stared at the ceiling. Her thoughts for once not racing, no stray voices crying out in fear every few seconds. She shut her eyes, feeling herself start to drift. All she could hear were the comforting voices. The familiar ones who’d been with her from the start. The ones who caused her pain, who made her go through task after task, ritual after ritual until it all felt right--until it felt safe ; those ones had shown up later, and made themselves right at home with the rest.

She was fine. She could deal with it. Another obstacle in her way. Nobody needed to know, nobody could help her anyway. The worst they even did was disrupt her in the arena. They’d never come on strong enough for her to not resist them. Yet, she still worried. Whether it was the paranoia overtaking logic, or the tasks they made her carry out to be relieved from the pain, she knew her mind was a risk.

Without the voices there to spiral her thoughts she brushed the worry away with relative ease. Vowing to think about it in the morning. For now, she slept.

-----

This is stupid, I don’t need to do this.

She shook the thought away as she pulled the elastics of her face mask behind her ears.

It was morning, and she was getting dressed. The walk from the apartments the legends stayed in to the drop ship that took them to the arena wasn’t that far. She was still worried. Recognition from fans was one thing. Recognition from an IMC agent is another.

The chances were slim, sure. But, the fact there was a chance at all, was too big a risk to take. The voices would rationalize. And after all, even if there was no danger, wearing a mask and a hood wasn’t hurting anyone.

She checked the sides of her mask in the mirror, making sure they were secured. The front was decorated with pale pink cherry blossoms, like her legend card.

She’d seen Crypto drawing once before they dropped in for a match, and asked if he’d help her with a design for her mask. He still had her on edge with his whole act of being touchy, secretive even. Especially when people asked anything personal. But he hadn’t done anything to give her a reason to think he was IMC.

Not yet anyway.

She shut her eyes, taking in a breath, ignoring the voices. She pulled on a hoodie and sunglasses, to hide her eyes, and made her way to the door. The constant heat and humidity of Solace City hit her face like a bucket of water. The sweat was worth relieving her of fear.

It wasn’t long after she’d left her house when Natalie spotted her. No matter how hard she tried to hide herself, Natalie always was able to pick her out of a crowd. Maybe it was the way she walked, or the fact she looked so covered up on a planet stuck in endless summer. Either way, Wraith would never know.

“Bonjour Wraith!” Natalie called out from across the road. Wraith waved in response as she crossed over.

Natalie was wearing her signature chunky sneakers. A light denim jacket, adorned with patches covered a white t-shirt she wore underneath. All paired with white shorts. She’s so cute. Wraith caught herself thinking, almost blushing in embarrassment at her own thoughts.

Natalie was picking the threads at the ends of her jacket sleeves and smiling. Wraith couldn’t help but stare. At the light freckles dotting her full, round face. The way her blonde hair was frizzy, standing on end in the summer heat. Her bangs making a curtain over her blue eyes, glinting in the sunlight.

Wraith couldn’t pull her eyes away, even if she wanted. Natalie seldom made eye contact anyway, Wraith wasn’t worried her staring would be noticed.

“Sorry I didn’t swing by your room yesterday.” Nat started, grabbing Wraith’s hand loosely and walking alongside her. She struggled to keep up since her legs were a bit shorter. Wraith held her poker face, though inside she was on fire. She couldn’t tell if she was imagining how warm and soft Natalie’s hand was. “-But I was really busy working. I thought of new ideas for my interceptor pylon, and how I could make it more useful in the ring you see!”

Wraith looked over to her and nodded, humming an “Mhm?” in response. Natalie loved electricity and all the different ways she could harness it. Wraith often heard her in the mornings, talking over its properties and uses with Caustic. Both of them having intense discussions over coffee.

It’d been a while before Natalie started opening up to her about her interests. A little ramble when Wraith asked a question here. A squeal of delight when she thought of a solution there. And bright, beautiful laughter that Wraith thought she would die from if she listened too long. Lighting up the room with pure joy, paired with her stimming her hands, when something went right. That was all Wraith would catch a glimpse of before they really got close.

And she was glad they did. It felt like she could hear Natalie talk about anything for hours on end. No matter the subject. It didn’t matter if she understood the technical terms, or wrapped her head around how it worked. The pure joy in her voice was fulfilling enough. She wanted the melody of Natalie Pacquette’s voice to envelop her completely as she melted at her words.

What if that was her plan all along?

She jumped out of her thoughts at the voice chiming in. Natalie stopped mid-sentence and looked over, brows raised.

“You okay Wraith?” Her hand held on tighter, squeezing Wraith’s gloved one in reassurance. Wraith screwed her eyes shut and muttered under her breath at being so noticeable.

“Yeah I- I’m fine don’t worry about it.” She waved a hand, like she could brush the issue away. Talking about her problems was moot. It made the people around her feel bad for her. And that didn’t help anybody. She especially didn’t want to do that to Natalie of all people. She had enough shit to work through, she didn’t need to hear about what the voices did to her everyday.

“Are you sure?” They’d stopped walking, stuck at a crosswalk, waiting for traffic to pause for them. “You’ve seemed sort of, on edge the past few days. And I don’t know if I remember the last time you hung out with us, or even left your room this week.” Wattson burrowed her other hand into her pocket. She was bobbing her head, moving along to music that wasn’t there.

Wraith sighed out of her nose. She pays attention to me enough to notice that? She held back her smile at the thought. Turning back to Natalie’s concern.

“I’m, good I just, feel kinda out of it lately. The voices y’know, sometimes they can be overwhelming.” She tried not to get too in detail.

Natalie didn’t need to hear about how her throat was still burning. How she’d go into a frenzy, holding her head in her arms and crying, trying to scratch the thoughts away. How she’d stay up all night cleaning and organizing her apartment because what if they find me and I can’t get out of my room fast enough.

What if Natalie’s one of them??

The thoughts were overwhelming. It felt like she was strapped to a chair, forced to look at something she didn’t want to. The harder she tried to shut her eyes or turn away, the clearer they became. She often ended up shaking her head at them, shutting her eyes or plugging her ears. Trying to get away from her own brain. Even if she resisted, and did nothing, it just felt like acceptance.

“I get feeling overwhelmed,” Natalie replied. Her voice lower, more monotonous as she dropped the peppy mask she often put on. “When I get overwhelmed it’s like everythings closing in and I can’t get away. I’ve got to push it all out and curl in on myself until I feel better. It’s awful.”

She re-threaded her fingers through Wraith’s and smiled up at her. Her bright, half-lidded eyes, filled with understanding. “If you need to talk about it more, I’m always here for you Wraith.” She paused, biting the inside of her cheek before continuing. “I-It’s hard for me, to tell how others view me, but I hope you can see me as someone to trust.” Her voice was quieter this time, but still filled with the same softness, and genuine love.

Wraith felt like she was going to burst at the seams.

“Y-yeah I. Of course I trust you Natalie. You’re one of my closest friends here, I’d trust you with anything.” She let the words spill out, curiosity and concern jumping out at the pain she heard behind Natalie’s words. The voices stirred, uneasy. She could feel them analyzing everything Natalie said, trying to find all the wrong ways to interpret it.

Don’t let her tell you we’re hurting you.

She raised a brow. So that’s where they’re going with it.

They continued, ignoring her casual observation, drowning her out.

Who was it who saved you from the lab?? Who did the Voidwalker say to trust???

She shook her head, willing for them to go away. But as usual, nothing happened. Luckily for her, they had other things to focus on. They’d arrived.

The gates to the boarding area for the dropship were in front of them. The rest of the legends were gathered around waiting to board. All except Elliott, who’d probably woken up late again. Wraith wondered how angry Anita would be with him this time.

When they finally boarded, she stayed in her area of the ship. She could hear the stories the others told amongst themselves. But she stayed alone. Stuck with her voices as company. The quiet wasn't ideal, but it was better than talking to people. Their words were ammunition for the storm in her head.

She wants you to stop listening to us. She’s trying to take your power away from you. She's with the IMC͙̑ ͇͗Y̱͠OU ̝̂KN̬̊O̢̾W S͚̒HE I̻̮͑͂Ŝ̙.̰̙́̀

She bit down on her lip and hoped the flight wouldn’t be long.

Her back hit the ground with a heavy thud.

You’ve let your guard down.

She grunted, eyes opening, then squinting at the brightness of the sun. Her ears were ringing, and her body was sore. Her back was raw like she’d been dragged. Her chest heaved. She winced at the burn in her throat, and pushed on the ground to lift herself up.

It was the second-to-last ring. They were in the endgame of the match. This was what they’d been building up to. Her, Wattson, and Bangalore were on a squad. The three of them working in almost-perfect harmony.

Almost.

The match had been wearing down on her. They barely had time to loot for supplies, to find higher ground to survey from. Squad after squad rained bullets down on them. For once ultimate accelerants were a thing of desire. The three of them were tired. But they had to press on. They’d almost won this.

The last squad they’d downed was Octane, stuck by himself after his team had died to the ring. Wraith might’ve been fast, but he was faster. She was down before she could blink, crawling away in fear.

There’s no more respawn beacons. We’ll lose if I die now.

He’d crept after her, ready to finish her off, when, in the distance, Bangalore took her shot. A loud crack echoing across the canyon. Wattson rushed down after Bangalore killed him. She'd ran out to get Wraith up under the cover of smoke Bangalore had thrown down.

“Wraith, let me help you!” Wraith paused at Wattson’s voice. Her vision was still blurry, but she could hear Wattson loud and clear. She let herself be guided into a sitting position. And shuddered as she felt Wattson kneel over her. Wattson's hand hovered over Wraith’s chest ready to inject her with the syringe.

“You ready?” She asked softly. Most other legends would just hit you with the needle without warning. Wraith always felt a sense of fondness tighten her chest when Wattson asked first. She nodded in response, and gripped the hand Wattson offered to brace herself.

This time, it didn’t happen like it usually did.

The smell of fire, the ringing in her ears, and the needle piercing her body. It was too similar, it felt too much like a memory she’d thought she’d forgotten.

The soreness in her head grew instead of lessening as the medicine entered her body. The comfort she felt was replaced with fear and anxiety. She could almost smell the scent of rubbing alcohol. The smell that’d lingered in every crevice of the medical facility she was kept in so long ago.

Her hands shook. Her armband, a gift from the Voidwalker, beeped. Telling her that her portal was ready. The familiar noise drew her further into the fear.

It’s just like before it’s just like before it’s just like before it’s-

Calm down, it’s okay. It’s okay, she’s just trying to help.

As the syringe released its last drop of fluid she let go of Wattson’s hand. Wattson gasped as Wraith suddenly lurched backward. Her legs kicked about, sloppy from the after-effects of the medication. She couldn’t think straight, overwhelmed so suddenly by the voices, it was all too much. She grabbed the syringe out of Wattson’s hand and flung it away into the swamp grass.

Both her and Wattson stared after the syringe in the grass as Wraith’s breaths slowed. God damnit. She didn’t want to act on her impulses , especially not in front of Wattson.

She slowly crawled out from underneath the other girl and stood to her feet. Trying to move on from it, she reloaded her weapon and turned to Octane’s deathbox. Wattson sat there for a moment longer, before she got up and joined Wraith in looting.

“Are you alright Wraith?” Wattson whispered, glancing at her face as their hands brushed together. She’d already noticed Wraith seeming antsy, on edge because of the voices. Sure if she was having trouble it would be a hindrance to their game. But a loss was a loss, Wattson would live through it and try again. It was Wraith that she cared about.

Wraith pursed her lips and nodded, feigning interest in the large array of healing she’d found in the box. We can handle it, it’s fine. The less she knows, the better. Besides, what if she’s looking for information on us? The voices were quick to share their distrust. Wraith went along with them out of convenience. There was no point in worrying her, especially this late in the game.

They’d find the last two teams, take them out, and be done with it. The voices would calm after the match, they’d have nothing to discuss. Simple.

The sound of gas canisters being thrown in their direction was the first sign of her plan going downhill.

They were down in the stream where Bridges used to be. A ravine of sorts. Perfect to line with toxic gas and trap the two of them in. Caustic didn’t think twice about taking his chance.

Wraith’s voices, the good ones, the ones she trusted, hit their target first.

There’s a shooter, move.

Traps being placed, it’s not safe here.

Two sentences, calm and collected. That was what the voices should always be.

She grabbed Wattson’s hand and outstretched her free arm, opening a portal through the void.

“Someone’s got a shot on me, pretty sure. Let’s move.” She turned to see Wattson nod in response, her question to Wraith forgotten. Wraith pulled her through the portal behind her. They ran. Circling the broken-down buildings and heading to a zipline. Riding it up to where Bangalore was sniping.

“Caustic’s close by, probably up at the top near you, we’re heading over.” Wraith spoke into her ear piece. Bangalore copied back with an “Affirmative.” And their plan was in motion.

They lurched out of the void together as they reached the top. Bangalore was already in combat. Caustic was with Bloodhound, both of them trying to force Bangalore out of hiding behind a boulder further up on the cliff.

Bangalore aimed and took her shot, and a loud ‘crack’ split the air. She didn’t have much, but she did have a Kraber, the strongest, and hardest to use, sniper in the outlands. And had downed Bloodhound in a single hit.

Wraith ran up alongside Wattson. She slid behind the boulder with Bangalore, pulling out her own sniper rifle, a Triple Take. She leaned it on the rock, preparing to take aim, when the voices shouted.

He’s throwing something, MOVE.

She dropped down, a loud hiss moving over them, before a cloud of toxic gas filled the area. She felt her eyes burn, and her lungs heaving as she breathed in the fumes.

Wraith choked and coughed. She pushed through the burn as she trudged forward in Caustic’s direction. She switched her weapons, pulling out her R-99, raised it up, and looked through the sights, trying to spot him. She heard movement behind her, and turned on her heel, but Caustic shot before she had eyes on him.

Wraith fell to the ground, coughing up blood and wheezing as her gun was kicked away.

What’s wrong with us what’s WRONG WITH US GET UP NOW.

Trap this is a trap this is a trap it’s a tRA-

Caustic aimed his gun down at her, ready to finish her off, when Bangalore’s Kraber echoed through the canyon a second time. He fell, standing on his knees for a moment, before his body dissipated. Leaving behind his deathbox of items.

Wraith leaned back on her hands, gasping for air. She wasn’t fully downed again, so she got back to her feet. Her hands were trembling around her gun, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched.

The voices were scared. They watched every direction, scanning the world for its dangers. Hundreds of thousands of eyes staring from the void, circling her head. Are there more? Are we safe? Where are the others? We’re going to die that was too close too close too clOSe we need to watch out, watch out, watch out-

She paused.

Anxiety. It’s anxiety. Calm down.

She tried to tell herself that. She wanted to believe it was anxiety so strongly. But it felt wrong, like she was lying to herself. The voices had their own verdict.

Our chest is so tight̤͂.̻̇ W̝͘H̨͗y̞͐ ca̤̔n̙̎;t ͎wḙ͂ ̖̺̏̏b̲͈͊͛r̒͟EA̘̝̐̔th̢̅e.̪̤̌̌? ? ? ̨͋WHERE AR̛̲E T̛̟̒͢H͕̩̀̚E̲̰̍̑̚ͅ Ř̺Ĕ͎͍͒Ŝ̫͠ͅT̤̝̟͖̙̋̒̇͊̈́

̟͍́̒?̣̞͞ ͙̞̣̲̌̋̓͜͠͝?͚̜̱̥͊̓̌̊̚͟ ̤̮̣̘̰̌͌̀̾͠ ̧̦̖̠̀͐̋̓̈́͢?̖̥̱̼̬̿̂͌͠

It was louder, clearer. She could feel them filling her ears, screaming. ͈͂LIS̪͋T͓̉E̽͜N̜̼̎̌ T̎͢O̜̒ Ǔ̩̝̆S̹͚͂͗ͅ ͔͐P͚̲̦̐̇L̗̏Ę̫͙̲͆̓͠͠AS̗̲̬͋̇́Ȩ͉̠̲͑̏͆̚͟͠.̡̠̼̯̺̈́͐͊͌͘

She could hear Wattson calling for her to come loot with them in the distance. Bangalore yelling, asking if she was okay. The two of them, realizing something was off, calling across the cliff what was wrong. Feet hitting the ground as Wattson jogged over to her.

Her breaths were going faster, faster, faster . She could barely hear over the screaming in her ears.

Danger, move.

She couldn’t tell between the real warnings and the paranoid ones.

Her hand reached up to her forehead. Digging into the skin. Like she could tear the voices out of her mind. She dug her nails further. Stop stop stop please just stOP.

Her knees hit the ground. She screamed. Mouth still closed. The noise rumbling in her throat. Warmth ran down her hand and stained her forehead. Blood blood blood… Faster. Faster. Her breaths were going faster.

The whir of Wattson’s interceptor, usually held on her back, drew Wraith’s attention. She jolted at gloved hands touching on her shoulders. She could barely hear now. The voices. Everything. It was all just so LOUD.

Run.

Get away from her get her away from us now now run rUN.

It was all they could agree on. Get away, get to safety, from one voice. Get away, don’t let them see us like this, from the other. Either one worked.

So she did.

She shoved away from Wattson’s touch, heels kicking into the ground before she burst into the void. Bangalore and Wattson left behind as she ran through the opening in the mountains. Running. Running. Running. Through the Repulsor Station. Down the stairs leading to the Swamps. Run. Keep running. Don’t stop. Not until we’re safe.

The swamplands were just ahead. Filled with enough buildings and crannies for her to hide away. Perfect. Behind her, she heard their voices. She jumped out of the void. Staying in too long made her feel like she was burning.

Bangalore and Wattson's voices echoed on the buildings around her. Sounding like they were still back at Repulsor. She threw her arms behind her, and holstered her weapon. She zipped in and out of the void to lose their trail.

Don’t let them find us get away get away we’re not safe here.

She crossed a shoddily-made bridge across the swamp water, and slid into a house. She slammed the door behind her and sat there, gasping for breath.

What the fuck am I doing.

She couldn’t stop her thoughts from swirling. She felt like throwing up, or crying. Anything to pour it all out. She couldn’t focus on the game. All she knew was that she was in the ring. She could hear her team, both of them both shouting on her ear piece. Wattson, desperately asking where she’d gone. Bangalore telling her they needed her back in the game. They both knew Wraith was too serious to play around. Something was wrong.

She pulled the piece out.

Break it break it what if they find us what if they find us and CATCH US.

Don’t let them find us don’t let them find us.

Sparks jumped under her boot as she stomped it into the wooden floor beneath her. The shouting of her teammates silenced.

She couldn’t see. She couldn’t hear. She clapped her hands over her ears as she shook. She fell to her knees, and lowered her head. Her whole body was trembling. Every breath strained against her lungs. Air felt scarce. She felt light headed.

cant breathe cant cant cant see what is, whats what happening

how do we calm down how we calm down how do we

Her hands clawed at her throat.

Everything was so… Loud. Gunfire. Shots rumbled beyond the windows of the building she hid in. Her own breaths were so much for her to hear. Her throat felt like it was closing. Closing… Cutting our air off. Can’t breathe. Can’t hear. Her grip on her throat tightened. More. More. Until she was dry heaving. Head thrown back. Eyes wide. Staring at nothing. Burning bright white.

The voices were screaming .

Her nails dug in further.

Need, air. Need to BREATHE.

The dry heaving kicked up.

Her stomach lurched.

She snapped out of it and fell. Body falling in a heap. Eyes rolling back as vomit flowed out of her mouth. She laid there for a moment.

Vomit on her lips.

Vomit on her face.

Vomit on the floor.

The voices had fallen back to a hum. She didn’t have long. She could still feel them. Like the water in a pot before it boiled over. She clenched her teeth and balled her hand into a fist. She pushed herself up from the floor, and staggered to her feet.

Her eyes rolled forward. Returning to their usual piercing blue.

“Wraith!”

She jumped back at Wattson’s voice. Which didn’t sound too far off. The paranoia had settled. For a moment. She still felt uneasy. Her hand hovered over her gun in its holster.

Wattson hesitated before she knocked on the door. She’d been running around, looking for Wraith for a few minutes now. Searching while Bangalore closed off a spot for them to spend the final ring in.

We don’t have time for this. The thought had crossed Wattson’s mind many times by now, but she brushed it away. Wraith knew better than any of them not to mess around in the games. Something wasn’t right.

“Wh-What do you want.” Wraith's voice was scratchy. A side effect from the vomiting. And it quivered, sounding weaker than her usual stoic tone.

“I just want to know what’s wrong. This isn’t like you.” Wattson stood her ground with baited breath as she waited for a reply. She heard shuffling, and then a sigh.

“I-I don’t, I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Wattson’s face fell further, a pang of sympathy echoing within her when she heard just how small Wraith’s voice was. Shaky and scared. She took a few steps closer to the building. Her hand settled on the front of the door, as she eyed the handle. She edged her hand closer to it, but stopped when Wraith started talking again.

“It feels like everything's swirling and I can't tell what’s real anymore. All my thoughts are awful and I can’t think straight. I-I mean I know the awful ones aren’t mine. But, I just. I don’t know. I-I aaAHH!” Wattson flinched as a sudden ‘thud’ hit the wall. Probably Wraith’s fist.

“Can I come in, Wraith? Are you okay?” Maybe she had a bad reaction to the medicine. Maybe it messed with her voices. Theories ran through her head. She could never be sure. Wraith was the one who knew the voices best after all. She waited for a response, but she got none. Her hand reached for the door handle, and pushed slowly, when it slammed shut from the other side.

“Just leave me alone!” Wraith hissed out. Her voice was.. Off. It sounded like it wasn’t just one of her talking. Like the voices were bleeding through, and talking alongside her. Some were lagging behind, making her sound glitchy, and skewed. Her eyes were visible to Wattson through the dirtied glass of the door. Wide, and crazed.

White as pearls.

“Why do you wanna help anyway??! Just leave me here and win the match without me.”

“I-I care about you Wraith. I don’t care about the game if something’s wrong. I want to help.” Wraith stepped back from the door when she heard that. The voices in her head were tugging her in all different directions. She couldn’t tell what to do.

She’s lying!!

She just wants to help!!

Tell her to fuck off!!

Let her in!!

“You only- You’re only here because you’re with them aren’t you. You don’t care about us. Y-you want to hand us back over. Their expe̤̿r͖͞i̹͛ṃ͂ē̟̻͠ṋ̡́̅t̼̪͎̦͚̐̇̒̿͛.”

Wattson’s brows furrowed in confusion. She didn’t know who they were. Or what experiment she was referring to. She drew her hand around the door handle, and cracked it open slowly.

“I don’t know who or what you’re talking about Wraith,” She said softly. “-But I’m not here to hurt you. I love you, mon ami, I need you to try to breathe, and stay calm. Let me help you.”

She opened the door wider. Wraith was crouched back in the corner, R-99 raised at the ready, aiming for Wattson’s arm.

“Don’t, move.” Her words were slow, and surprisingly calm. Dried blood was caked on her forehead, and vomit still coated her teeth. Her eyes were wide, and white. A stark difference from her voice.

Wattson wondered if her Wraith was the one speaking.

“Wraith, please. I know you’re in there. If you just let me i-” Wraith stopped registering her words as soon as she took a step closer. It was probably absent-minded. She probably didn’t mean to encroach on her. She probably didn’t mean to go against what she’d just asked.

The voices didn’t care.

She’s going to hurt us she’s going to hurt us she’s going to hurt us she’s one of THEM.

“Wraith, please,” Wattson said softly. She leaned closer to Wraith, reaching her hands to pull her up from the floor.

BANG!

Time seemed to slow.

Blood flew past the two of them, less than Wraith thought would. As her eyes adjusted after the muzzle flash, she saw why.

Metal scraps flew through the air. One of Wattson’s jacket sleeves had torn and burned at the gunshot. Revealing the synthetic metal arm underneath. Wattson’s arm was scorched and dented after being hit with bullets. She looked down at Wraith in shock. Her outstretched hands hesitating before she turned her attention to her broken arm.

“Wrai- Wraith, merde. What the hell-” Her wide eyes caught on Wraith’s frantic ones, clouded with fear. Wattson ignored her arm for the time being. Teammates were unable to permanently harm each other in the arena, she wasn’t worried for herself. It was the fact that Wraith had acted out so violently. Shooting her like it would do something, like she needed to protect herself from Wattson. It worried her more than the sparks bursting from her sleeve.

Wraith crawled back. Furthering herself from Wattson and fumbling with her grasp on the gun. Her portal armband beeped, signalling her portal was charged again, and turned her head.

She raised her arm behind her, wind whipping up from out of nowhere, and a hole to the void ripped through the air. She raised her gun again at Wattson as a precaution, and pushed herself backward, lurching into the void.

“Wraith wai-!” Wattson’s words were cut off as Wraith disappeared. All that remained where she’d been on the ground were purple wisps of smoke.

---

She gasped for breath as she fell through the other side. She stood on her hands and knees, coughing, rubbing a hand across her face.

Around her, all around her, everyone was trying to cage her in, catch her off guard, make it easier to capture her. We told you so didn’t we. But no, you didn’t LISTEN.

The tears fell fast, but she brushed them away. Crying didn’t have a place in the face of danger, and she couldn't afford to be more distracted than she already was.

BEHIND YOU!

A shot hit her side before she could react. She spun on her heel, firing two blindly at whoever was behind her. She let herself fall a bit when she heard a cry of surprise, and a thud on the ground. She grunted at the swivel, the wound on her side ripping further. No worrying now, no time.

She sprung forward. Hissing at the pain. She chased after her attacker, before they'd have a chance to recover and run.

A few feet away from where she stood in the mud of Swamps, was Mirage. He was hiding (or at least trying to) behind the pipeline stretching the ground between them like a line in the sand. Blood was settling in the pools of water around him. And his leg was drawn close to his chest, a long tear across his pants gushing with blood.

“I know we’re fightin’ and all Wraith,” She heard him call out between swears and gasps of pain. “But like, are you good?”

She heard him hiss out “Fuck this burns,” Before he continued. “You don’t "ty-tycip-typical,” He stuttered, cursing under his breath as he thought of another word. “You don’t often cry after seein’ my good looks.”

She didn’t care to roll her eyes at him, she couldn’t risk letting her guard down because of a stupid joke. Even if she could hear the concern dripping through his tone.

She shut her eyes. The voices knew what to do. They were here to keep her safe. She took a step. And another. Her pace quickening with each one. She pulled herself over the pipe, and leapt forward. Closing in on the hobbling Mirage, trying to escape the inevitable.

She ignored the shots that landed in her arm, she ignored the dirt that kicked up into her face. She unclenched her teeth, closed her eyes, let out a breath, and crackled out of existence, into the void.

Mirage stood his ground. Blood dripping from his leg and his mouth, bubbling in his throat, ears ringing like a fire alarm. He took his window of time to pull the mag out of his gun and swap it for a fresh one. His fingers shook as he pushed the bullets into his Wingman. Wincing as he tightened his grip on the grooves of the pistol’s handle.

“Damnit Wraith.” He swore under his breath. “One on one, one on one. I can do this. We’re both wounded, it’s fine.”

He didn’t say another word that match.

Wraith, no. The Voidwalker, ripped back into reality. Behind him.

She didn’t give him time. Not to turn. Not to scream. Her kunai blade, usually held at her hip, was in and out by then. Resting on it's strap in her belt as he fell to his knees. His gun skittered away from his hand, sinking in the swamp mud. His respawn card glowed against her blood-smeared face as she crouched over his body.

He’s got healing, shields. Need to protect ourselves. Keep us safe from the others.

She pulled what he had, dropping it in her bag, when her vision obscured. The world went dark, and her limbs went numb. She stood up, spinning around in the darkness, reaching for something, anything-

Then the words pierced the silence.

You are the Apex Champions.

…

He was the last one.

They'd won.

Nothing was wrong.

She was safe.

“Oh no.”

---

“Wraith, Wraith over here!” She walked past the reporters, ignoring their desperate pleas. “What happened out there? What were you saying to Wattson when you shot her?! Are you working with the criminal TaeJo-” She tuned them out. Wraith’s eyes hadn’t un-widened from the shock at what she’d done. She looked like a ghost, living up to her name. Trailing through the lobby, walking the red carpet laid out for the winning team. Her hands were shaking. And the voices, of course, were silent.

Natalie and Anita trailed behind her, both of them quiet. Wraith couldn’t bring herself to face Natalie. Nat had reached over before, when they’d left the hospital wing. She'd tapped her on the shoulder, startling Wraith.

“Wraith, what’s going on? What happened out there?”

She’d walked away without answering.

---

The voices were quiet that day.

And the next.

And the next…0

It felt like the first time she’d truly had her mind to herself in months, maybe years. It was so quiet. Almost too quiet.

Whatever space the voices left for her was filled with her own rushing thoughts. Screaming internally over everything that happened. Every time she saw Natalie she averted her eyes. Every time she heard her tell-tale, skipping footsteps, she turned in the other direction. She couldn’t think about it, she wouldn’t let herself. Thinking about it meant remembering how awful she was, how she’d hurt Natalie. Thinking about it meant scratching at the healing wounds up and down her arms, put there in the first place when the voices got to be too much. Thinking about it meant retching from the anxiety that it gave her to recall the look of horror and disgust on Nat’s face when her arm had been shot through by Wraith.

She could barely tell what was real and what wasn’t anymore.

She knew when it was real, she could feel it, whether it was a gut feeling, or something striking a chord with her soul, she didn’t know. She always could tell just by instinct. But it was so hard to believe what she saw, even when it was right before her eyes.

She hates me she hates me she fucking hates me.

She’d gotten nothing but smiles and kind words from Natalie all week. She’d apologized to Natalie, (“Oh don’t worry Wraith! Are you.. Feeling okay? You seemed very on edge.” “Oh yeah, I’m fine it’s nothing. Just kinda spooked is all.”) Nothing to tell her the contrary of the fact that she’d forgiven Wraith. She couldn’t accept it, she just couldn’t. Nobody gave that kind of mercy to Wraith. Maybe they gave it to Renee Blasey, but she wasn’t Renee anymore.

Renee died in that lab.

She was Wraith now. An experiment gone wrong. An error in the system. Something that wasn’t supposed to exist but damnit she was here to stay.

Didn’t mean she deserved to stay.

Or that anyone was happy she was there.

She was used to the hard stares, the cold expressions, the whispers behind her back, the loss of trust. She was well acquainted with the fear glossing over peoples eyes when she leaned over them, pressing them against walls, gritting her teeth, asking for answers.

Nobody trusted the Voidwalker. Nobody spoke ill of the Voidwalker. Nobody acknowledged the woman behind the wraith.

So when Natalie played off that she’d even had her arm shot through, sparks flying, fear in her eyes as Wraith had leaned over her, gritting her teeth, asking for answers, it didn’t compute.

What is she pulling? What's she going to do? Are we in trouble? Is there danger whATS GOING ON-

Even the voices didn’t have a clue, with all their paranoia scattered around, they couldn’t land on a single conclusion.

The idea that anybody willingly would care for Wraith and try to understand her as a person was so unbelievable she didn’t allow herself to seriously consider it. She’d spent countless nights fantasizing, imagining finding that perfect person. Someone who understood her flaws, her issues, her past, and loved her for it. Someone who didn’t care that she saw herself as wrong, a bastardization of the woman Renee Blasey should’ve been able to be.

She thought of Renee Blasey often. In a guilty sort of way. She’d researched the name thoroughly once she’d found it in the uncovered lab in the canyon. An old recording from Renee had stuck with her. She played it every once in a while, astonished at the weirdness of hearing your own voice saying things you couldn’t remember saying, or even understand. She’d never been drunk (at least while being Wraith) so she couldn’t relate the experience. Renee’s calm voice listing off the formulas and the evidence behind her theories for Project Wraith were often played before she slept. The only time of day she felt somewhat clear headed.

Every morning her eyes were red, and puffy. Often enough where nobody wondered if she’d been crying all night, sobbing at the fact that she’d stolen this woman’s life, and work, and everything she’d worked towards, and turned into an anxious, paranoid fuck up. Something nobody wanted to get close to.

She thought about every time someone had tried to get close, and gravitated away, realizing the layers underneath the exterior were too much for them to handle.

She thought about how Natalie didn’t back away.

And then she forced herself to face the reality that Natalie would never extend herself and try to get any closer than she already was to Wraith. It was selfish, childish, and downright stupid to think so.

Wraith called herself Wraith because she didn’t deserve to parade around using Renee Blasey’s name as her own. She wasn’t a thief, and even then, she could never live up to the void scientist’s name even if she tried.

And heaven knows she’s tried.

Every day she’d tried to do her best.

It’s never enough.

Maybe one day, when she died, she could meet Renee Blasey. The woman she couldn’t be.

Every night, after she’d cried her eyes out, and her throat ached from holding in the sobs l’est someone heard and pitied her enough to check in on her, pretending to care only because they’re people, amazing people, and felt empathy towards her. She stared at the ceiling, thinking above it, to the stars, the galaxies, and everything beyond, and hoped that Renee was somewhere out there, watching what's become of her corpse.

She hoped she'd be proud.

- -

Why do things always have to happen like this?

It never felt like she could have a break, between fucking up, and having things around her be awful. Either the lab was getting uncovered, and she was forced to relive the memories of being trapped inside, or she was hurting Natalie.

This time, it was closer to the former.

Things were bad enough when Revenant had joined the games. A demon forged through metal. She’d tried her best to avoid him. The voices rang out so clearly around him, more than around any other “person” she’d met. Wraith didn’t fear anyone, but if she never had to be near him another day in her life, she wouldn’t object.

Then Loba joined.

And more IMC and Hammond tech was uncovered.

If the screams of the voices were audible, they would’ve deafened her by now.

“We’re dropping at Salvage.” The idea of seeing the wreck of the first place she remembered living in made her stomach quiver like nothing else. She’d never thought that match with Natalie would be topped, but she was so, so wrong.

“Watch out, they’ve laid traps.” She spoke over comms to her team. Her feet hit the dry ground, kicking up dust clouds as she turned the corner.

Stop, danger.

She skidded as she realized she was at the edge of a cliff, freshly made once half the fucking canyon had collapsed. She stared out for a moment, eyes captivated by the glimpses of metal, ruins of old lab rooms and hallways scattered amongst the rocks belows her. Cold, white, metal rooms. Scented with rubbing alcohol and gun metal. Suffocatingly small, and hundreds of feet underground.

She couldn’t hear the yelling of her teammates in her ear piece. She couldn’t remember to grasp her weapon. Her knees buckled before she could say a word. Eyes rolling back as she fainted, falling over the edge.

---

WHAT’S WRONG WITH WRAITH?

WRAITH FREEFALLS, OFF THE EDGE, AND DOWN THE LEGEND RANKS.

The articles written about her performance didn’t hold back.

The other legends didn’t either.

The concern the concern the conCERN.

It’s not real it’s not real it’s not real.

They were never mad at her for losing. For ruining their game. Fo R FUCKING UP OVER AND OVER AND OVE-

“Are you alright mon ami?”

Natalie had walked into the common room, and noticing movement on the balcony, saw Wraith standing alone, clutching tightly to the railing, staring out at nothing.

Back heaving as she tried to control her breathing.

The glass door had slid open silently, and with the voices rambling on and on, Wraith hadn’t noticed Natalie stepping up behind her. She jumped, whipping around and moving her hand in front of her in defense. Natalie looked over her spooked figure and felt apologetic immediately.

“Aah I’m sorry!! I didn’t mean to startle you Wrai’, I was just checking on you.” She waved her hands around as she spoke, over-expressive as always, and mentally felt like kicking herself. Natalie slowed down when she looked past the shocked and curious expression on Wraith’s face and realized how red her eyes were, and how the moonlight glinted off of her wet face.

“Really, Wraith, are you okay?”

Natalie asked, hiding the uncertainty she felt, but it still stewed underneath. The unknowing at how she was supposed to handle situations involving other people. Day to day chatter she’d gotten good at, once she’d been told, either through people ignoring her, or full on yelling in her face, about how much they didn’t want to hear about whatever project she was working on.

Wraith and Dr. Caustic were anomalies on that front.

Am I supposed to comfort her? I don’t know how I'm supposed to. Do I hug her?? I’ll just, I’ll just do how Ajay did for me when Papa died.

Wraith just stood there, frozen. Hands shaking at her sides as she felt the pressure build up inside her. She didn’t feel Natalie brush her hand down Wraith’s arm, wrapping her fingers around her palm. She barely registered her arms pulling her close.

“Wraith, what’s the matter?” Her voice was so soft, barely audible above a whisper, each sentence ending with a tone of unsurity. It made Wraith’s heart swell, that she was trying so hard. Natalie barely talked to anyone outside of her and Caustic, and maybe Octavio, just because of how hard it was for her to talk to people. And here I am making her do all this just to check on me being an idiot.

She sat there, numb, unmoving, as Natalie held her in a stiff embrace. She didn’t mind it, she knew the effort she put behind trying to comfort anyone and appreciated it all the same.

Wattson lowered the two of them to the ground, holding Wraith snug to her chest. She gripped her tight, just as her papa had when she was having a meltdown . Like a weighted blanket helping to ground her.

“You don’t need to tell me what’s wrong if you don’t want to, I mean, I don’t want to-to force you to talk you know?” Wraith shivered from the chilly air around her and pondered for a minute.

Don’t tell her she doesn’t need to hear this from us right now you’ll just be bothering her.

“I-I… “ Her voice trailed off as she searched for something to say. Natalie had taken to brushing her fingers through Wraith’s hair, which just made it harder to form a coherent thought. The voices commanded her to keep her mouth shut.

“I lied.”

The words hung in the air, Natalie stopped brushing through her hair to glance at her face, and didn’t get anything out of Wraith’s blank expression. Wraith sat there in her lap, eyes wide, mouth parted.

Screaming

All she could hea r was scREAMING.

Her body started to shake as she heaved on another sob, holding it in so Natalie didn’t hear. Stupid stupid stupid why did I SAY that it’s so loud it’s so loud. Tears threatened to spill over the edge again, and her cheeks flushed red. Hold it in, hold it all in you have to-

“-I lied when I said I was fine. After everything, you know.” She couldn’t bring herself to meet Natalie’s eyes. She didn’t get any indication of how she was feeling from her body language. Her hands didn’t shake like Wraith’s did when she was nervous; her breathing didn’t hitch when words wouldn’t come; her eyes didn’t spill over with tears she wouldn’t let anybody see.

She envied her in a way.

Then again. She remembered how it was when her dad had died. Nobody saw her for days, until Ajay and a few others had found her hiding under a table in her house. She hadn’t eaten, hadn’t slept, hadn't spoken to a soul since they put him in the ground.

It struck her as similar to herself in a way.

Both of them quietly felt their pain until someone came to tell them it was okay.

Maybe that’s why Natalie was sitting here on the balcony, holding Wraith’s head to her chest as she listened to her try to explain what Wraith barely understood herself.

Don’t get too hopeful there.

Nobody’s that nice.

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“Why did you lie about how you felt?”

Genuine curiosity strung through Natalie’s voice and Wraith couldn’t tell if she was listening too hard for it or if she had been blessed in some way in the form of Natalie Pacquette. No matter what she saw herself as being more deserving of, Natalie had asked a question, and who was Wraith to not answer?

Natalie had already seen her like this. If she was going to be abandoned or seen badly, it was too late to fix anything. She may as well accept her fate and lay her cards on the table. Maybe she’ll understan- no.

Don’t get your hopes up.

“The voices don't always help me. Sometimes, they get paranoid, and scared, and act out. And it’s overwhelming. I can’t tell sometimes which thoughts are me and which thoughts are them .”

“Sometimes that means I feel like everyone hates me and I’m going to die, and-”

“Sometimes, it makes you fear that we’re a danger to you. That you have to protect yourself from your own friends.” Wattson finished for her, raising an eyebrow as she questioned whether her addition was correct.

She looked up in shock at Natalie’s face. She’d told people about this before yeah, but she’d never gotten a hand reaching out to grab hers in the darkness. Nobody ever tried to understand before labelling her a freak. She’d been scared when she first made it known she even heard the voices of the void. But she’d been too scared to speak further on it.

“E-exactly.” She was speechless. Her eyes locked onto Natalie’s as she tried to process but the words wouldn’t come. Just speak. Keep going keep going!! She’s listening to us!

“Why didn’t you just say that though? We could’ve talked about this, or you could’ve gone to the medbay for help?”

“And get treated even more like an outcast? Like I’m not human anymore I’m just the freak everyone always assumes I am? You think you’re the first person I’ve told this to before?? How do you think EVERYONE else reacts to this shit?!”

She hadn’t meant to sound harsh but it still came through in her tone. Confusion turned to compassion turned to frustration. WHY is she listening to me?? Why is she acting like this is normal is she stupid?? It’s not fucking normal what the fuck is she doing???

Wraith stood up out of Natalie’s lap and took a few steps away, her shoes sounding against the wood of the balcony floor. She stood there, quiet, fingers curling and uncurling into a fist. Natalie stayed where she was, knees slightly drawn up as she watched Wraith stand there in silence.

“I’m, I’m sorry I didn’t think about it like that. I get it, in a way.” She stood up and approached Wraith. She hadn’t reached out like before. She kept her hands to herself, fiddling them together as she rocked on the balls of her feet.

“It’s not the same, but people always told me I was annoying or weird for talking about things I liked, things that were close enough to me to be a part of me,” She started. She couldn’t see Wraith’s expression, and reading the room was hard enough. She let out a breath and continued, hoping to everything that she was saying the right things.

“I get not feeling comfortable telling people about these things I mean. That’s, that’s a big thing to tell people about and I’m glad you told me, especially if it was hard for you. It- it shows how much you trust me. Honestly you and Dr. Caustic are the two people I’d trust most to talk to about things like this and I’m-I’m glad you feel the same as far as I can tell Wraith, I really am.”

She’d been watching the floor while she spoke, she barely looked at people while she talked anyway, why should I when she’s got her back turned. She glanced up when she was done though, and almost jumped when she saw Wraith was watching her, turned to face her now, closer than Natalie remembered her being before. Natalie looked up into her eyes and felt her heart strain at the fresh tears resting in the corners waiting for their release.

Wraith started gasping for air and Natalie was confused, until she realized, with mild shock, that she was sobbing. Nobody’d seen Wraith cry, let alone sob so freely before. She almost felt privileged, but didn’t have time to think over the implication of her being the only person Wraith allowed herself to break down and look weak in front of.

“Breathe Wraith, breathe,” Wraith could barely focus her eyes on Natalie’s face but she did as she was told. Shutting her eyes, relishing a bit in the way her name sounded when Wattson said it.

She reached out and hugged Wraith, properly, holding her close and shoving down the fear of overstepping their boundaries, just for then.

She felt Wraith’s breaths shuddering against her chest. She didn’t know what part of what she’d said had hit her, but she was glad she’d made an effect at all. Sometimes what she said missed the mark, sometimes it hit far too close for comfort. She’d learned by now the look on people’s faces when she finished talking was the easiest identifier of when she’d crossed a line.

“It’s okay ma chérie, I’ll stay here with you, I promise.”She said softly. Her voice was so quiet, so gentle. Wraith could barely be in the moment, but she’d heard that. She wasn’t sure if it was Wattson’s promise to stay, or the way she’d said it. But tears welled back up all the same. Rolling down her cheeks silently and wetting Wattson’s jacket.

“ I’m s-sorry I’m so fucking sorry.” Her voice was so small but it reflected exactly how she felt. Oh she’d yearned , for a moment like this. To hear words like that from someone. She’d never felt this, unconditional love expressed to her when she told someone about the pain she went through every day and every night. She wished it hadn’t had to come to her hurting Natalie to show a sign of something being wrong. She hated that it had gotten so out of control that she risked her relationship, risked losing this moment, and risked hurting her.

“ I’m so sorry for-for everything, fuck.” She buried her face in more, and they leaned back, sitting in one of the few chairs decorating the balcony. She tried to ignore the way her heart sped up when Natalie pulled her further in her lap, and felt guilty in a way. Her thoughts focused on light-hearted stupid things. Like how she could smell the sweet scent of conditioner still lingering in Natalie’s hair while her head rested on her chest, or how nice it was when she trailed her fingers through Wraith’s hair.

“If I’m being honest, it feels like you do more apologizing than anything worth saying sorry for.” Natalie remarked with a slight laugh, looking up at the sky around them and breathing a sigh of relief. “It’s not like you hurt me back there. Our wounds are healed after the match, and you hit my false arm, it’s not your fault mon ami. I’ve forgiven you to the moon and back for that.”

Tears welled up again. She pressed her face to Natalie’s chest and let them fall. She breathed her in, the vague scent of metal lingered in her hoodie she was wearing, but Natalie herself smelled... Like lemons. Tangy, exciting and electric, just like everything else about her.

Wraith couldn’t explain the sensation she felt. Little did she know Natalie was mulling over the same thing. The feeling of utmost safety and comfort, like she could bleed every scar she’d bore over the years and Natalie would still wipe her tears away and call her a piece of art.

The reality of night settled into her thoughts, her eyes closing against the fabric of Natalie’s hoodie as her sobs turned to sniffles and hiccups. Natalie’s fingers gently ran down her scalp, brushing through her hair, nails scratching ever so slightly, in rhythm with the low hum Wraith heard building in her throat.

I’m going to die. Wraith thought. I’m going to die right here right now in Natalie’s arms oh my God.

“ Je t'aime toujours ma chérie. No matter what’s bothering you. I’ll stay here with you, I promise. As long as you’ll have me.”

#apex legends #darksparks #wraith apex #wattson apex legends #natalie paquette #renee blasey #apex wraith #apex wattson #apex fic #apex fanfic #dark sparks #wraith #wattson #fic #ravagingvaliance #yeah its me lmao hi if u saw me writing on my old blog no you didnt

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octrainfanboy · 4 years

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It's time to encounter a shitpost.

ASMR-Legends

I'm bored ok?

What ssounds would the legends use to entertain their audience? Let's find out.

Bloodhound: softly stroking their clothing,especially their fur;soft birb noises in the form of stroking de birb,overexaggerated intro and outro: "The Allfather has gathered us here today to take the time and lean back for a while. I am here to ensure that. Now,let us begin."

Lifeline: using her drumsticks (gently tapping a desk,gently smacking them against each other,etc.),gently stroking D.O.C.

Gibraltar: he would play with his flare;gently running his fingers over certain parts of his bike

Caustic: soft breathing through hiis gas mask;playing with his traps and letting a bit of gas out

Mirage: full-on whispering and ranting about how great he is,porkchops and how much he loves his mum for 5 minutes straight

Pathfinder: would attempt slime asmr and have everything get stuck on him;gently running his fingers along the rope of his grapple

Wraith: gently runs finger across her Kunai,distant portal noises uwu

Bangalore: flare-play;her fanboying over her favourite equipmemt;running her fingers over guns

Octane: gently taps his legs;fiddles around with his butterfly-knife before accidently destroying the mic which forces him to stop recording

Wattson: puts her pylon down for the soft electricity noises;runs through her fences; whispers bad puns in the mic

Crypto: two words.DRONE NOISES;oh and Rubik's cube Speedrun tutorial

Revenant: uploads a 5 second video of him jumping at the camera,titles it "PoV: I kill you" and puts "Fuck you" in the description

Sorry if someone already did this-

#apex legends

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ruroy9i · 5 years

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MI(SI)NGLE

Bart Reynolds is an average freshman at ‘Broadchurch High’, a nondescript boarding school in an uneventful small town. And by average, I mean that Bart is average at everything and precisely average. But despite being mean, he is not mean, perhaps his only redeeming quality and one he is quite proud of. Quite unambitious, he whiles away his time playing games with his best friends: Flynn and Abigail (exactly half of which he wins). He is frustratingly single, but he doesn’t mind, arguing that stochasticity guarantees he will end up with someone at some point of time. And he is plenty happy just to have a crush on the editor of the Broadchurch Newsletter, his classmate: June Green.

One day, over a game of ‘Zombie Dino Ultra Kill 8’, Bart and Abigail are arguing whether it is better to be friend-zoned or bro-zoned, while Flynn is off on a date with the Dean’s daughter: Zoey. They pose their arguments before Flynn when he returns, moping and sad. Turns out Zoey had only wanted Flynn to tutor her and nothing more. The duo stuff him full of cheesecake and ice-cream and decide that being tutor-zoned is definitely the worst. Flynn goes to sleep, still whining that Zoey had seemed interested in him just the previous day.

That night, someone breaks into Bart and Flynn’s dorm room. As Bart is jacking off in the bathroom, he picks up a baseball bat and rushes into the room. When he flicks on the switch, a man in a black tuxedo is at Flynn’s bedside, motioning Bart to be quiet. He has attached some strange instrument to Flynn’s chest. Upon finishing the measurement, he remarks that Flynn’s is a critical case. Bart bombards him with questions. The man in the tuxedo motions to join him on the terrace. He explains to a bewildered Bart that Flynn is a victim of a secret conspiracy to destroy unrequited love from the world. He claims to be a secret agent of the spy organization: MISingle. Bart jokingly asks that if he is a secret agent, why is he telling him this, will he wipe his memory with a deneuralyzer. The man in the tux solemnly says that he is here to recruit Bart into the agency, as he is their last hope in this race against time. Bart still jokes that it’s a great honour, but he must surely not be eligible for the job. The man asks whether Bart is single. Bart affirms it. “That is all the eligibility you need”, the man says as thunder strikes the dorm’s weathered electricity lines, plunging the school into a black-out.

Bart follows the man to his “ride”, which he expects to be an invisible jet or at least an invisible car. But he is stumped to find an average and rather unusual crop-duster. The man finally introduces himself as Agent Eager Beaver. Bart just rolls his eyes. They reach the headquarters of the spy cell, located intrepidly in a deserted motel. Bart remarks the ingenuity of hiding it so well, but Eager Beaver just quips that they didn’t have the budget to afford anything better. Bart is led to the debriefing room, where more suited men and women join in. As Beaver explains the situation and reports on Flynn’s condition, the top man of the organization: Agent Jilted Lover surmises that Flynn must have been poisoned with their enemy, Dr. Cupid’s newly devised ‘Repulsion dart’. Bart, concerned for Flynn demands an explanation about everything.

Cue epic exposition music. Agent Jilted Lover explains that since the dawn of time, there have been men and women who never found love or whom love never found. They have been called many names, viewed in different ways by society. And so, they evolved from hermits to oddballs to spinsters to singles. But sometime after the Industrial Revolution, with an increasing number of single working-class men and surprisingly women, it was deemed necessary to establish a global intelligence organization, to look out for the needs of this unfortunate but key demographic of society. Unfortunately, whoever enthusiastically sponsored the cause soon found love and had to direct their resources to that most conducive venture. Either way, the organization survived, strengthened in part due to the growing number of divorces in the twentieth century. Ironically, from a very ugly such divorce was born their most recent and fierce adversary: Dr. Cupid. A mad scientist and devilishly intelligent, Dr. Cupid plans to put an end to singledom everywhere. But the real concern arose when he was recruited by some murky evil organization who share his vision and have the means to realize it as well. And ever since, they’ve been at war with MI(SI)NGLE.

Bart is left with his mouth wide open, in staggering disbelief. He breaks the fourth wall to ask the audience if he is in a comedy movie. Agent Jilted Lover explains that Flynn is not the first person to be tutor-zoned in such a harsh way. There has been an alarming rise in such tutor-zonings of late, and they are quite certain this is the doing of Dr. Cupid. Eager Beaver breaks it to Bart with much sadness that he has measured Flynn’s heart to be 88% broken. If they do not find the cause of his tutor-zoning and reverse it, he will be a lost cause. Bart asks the audience if they know that a broken heart could be medically diagnosed. And so Eager Beaver concludes that Bart must now take up the mantle of a MI(SI)NGLE agent to save Flynn (should he choose to accept his mission.) Still talking to the audience, Bart admits that he can’t possibly turn it down now. Jilted Lover takes that as a yes.

Eager Beaver takes Bart to see the Quartermaster/Weapons and tech expert. On the way, Bart decides to address Eager Beaver as Mr. B in the future. They are welcomed by the incredibly sassy woman, Agent Heartbreak Kid. She expresses her doubt in Bart’s ability and starts an argument with Mr. B over the subject. Once done, she outfits Bart with his spy toolkit: a death metal T-shirt outlined with radio and satellite communicator, a Repulsor gun and an ugly sunglass, with a built-in scope and Love meter. As Bart is hyped up to use the Repulsor gun, remarking that its totally out of the Marvel movies, Mr. B explains that it is an actual ‘repulsor’, and not the fancy kind in movies. Bart doesn’t understand, so Heartbreak Kid points to an adorable little kitten that two interns in the lab are petting, and shoots it with the Repulsor. Nothing happens to the kitten, but the interns throw it away, calling it gross and ugly. ‘So, it turns things repulsive?”, Bart asks the audience again.

Mr.B just facepalms and reminds Heartbreak Kid that the kitten belongs to Agent Lonely Cat Lady and her fury will be upon them unless she fixes the cat. And then Bart’s training begins, once he puts the sunglasses on. He complains that they aren’t doing anything and might be broken. Heartbreak Kid replies that the glasses measure how much love people are getting and no one in the room is getting any.

Cue epic training montage with high voltage rock song.

Once Bart is done training, Mr.B and Heartbreak Kid show him the latest intel. They learn that tutor-zoning cases are at an all-time high and a large part of the world’s single population will reach the dreaded ‘Heartbreak point’ once the weekend is over. Agent ‘Hawas Ka Pujari’ has identified a VR goggles manufacturing unit in Bangalore to be a cover for the opposition. Jilted Lover asks them to set out immediately. Heartbreak Kid says that before leaving, Bart must be assigned his codename. Jilted Lover thinks it over and decides to confer upon him the codename Agent Nice Guy. Humbled and genuinely excited, Bart accepts and leaves with Mr. B.

Heartbreak Kid asks Jilted Lover whether he did the right thing, reusing the codename of a dead agent and that too, a legendary one.

Once again, Bart expects a jet, but has to settle for a trip on a commercial airline and that too in economic class.

Bangalore, India: Bart and Mr. B wait outside a multiplex for their correspondent to show up. But when he doesn’t, they go into the hall worried. But right in the ticket-counter, they find a man passed out and porn playing loudly on his phone. Mr. B wakes him up and introduces Bart to Agent Hawas ka Pujari. Bart just decides to call him Agent Perv. Perv takes them to scope out the building from where the VR goggles are manufactured. The three put on their ugly glasses and in front of Bart’s eyes, pops up a meter over every person in the city. They break into the unit and with amazing dexterity take out the guards (they just hit them with the Repulsor so that the guards start fighting among themselves). Once inside, they see that among the normal VR goggles are hidden special boxes marked with hearts, which are being transported to different locations. They open one such box and discover a normal VR goggle. They can’t find anything different with it at all. So they hit a dead-end and decide to head back.

Heartbreak Kid, whom Bart decides to call Miss Hearts fails to figure out what is wrong with the goggles. Frustrated, Jilted Lover becomes paranoid. Mr.B finds a lead that the addresses to which the goggles were being shipped ,all belong to most-wanted assassins or mercenaries. But considering the danger level of the mission, he goes on it alone and asks Bart to return to school for the time-being.

Back at school, Bart finds Flynn to be still moping and absolutely withdrawn. Abigail bombards him with questions, not believing a single thing he says. Bart finds himself no longer interested in his average school life. He toys around with the goggle which Ms Hearts gave him as a souvenir, when a thought strikes him. He asks Abigail to wear the goggles and come with him. He goes up to June Green, as she enters the cafeteria. Abigail remarks to the audience that her boy has finally manned up. Bart asks June to go out with him and is harshly rejected. To Abigail’s surprise, a meter pops up over Bart’s head which is full and a meter over June’s head which is empty. Bart is thrilled to hear this and immediately contacts Ms. Hearts.

Prague: Mr.B tracks down the courier service delivering the VR goggle to an assassin in Prague. He intercepts the man and threatens to make him so repulsive that his girlfriend will leave him and takes his clothes and the goggle. At the assassin’s doorstep, he hears a familiar voice. He hesitatingly knocks. The assassin opens up and welcomes him inside. He immediately puts the assassin in a choke-hold and asks who has hired him. From within the room Dr. Cupid emerges with another man. After a long and run of the mill dialogue between Mr. B and Dr. Cupid, Mr. B asks who his benefactor is. The other man steps up and Mr. B is absolutely shocked. In that moment, the assassin overpowers him and knocks him out.

This time Lonely Cat Lady escorts Bart to the HQ, which makes him curious about Mr. B. He excitedly explains to Ms. Hearts and Jilted Lover that the goggles are the exact opposite of the ugly sunglasses. Just like the glasses show how much love a person receives; the goggle shows how much love the person gives. So in effect, the goggles are a good way to measure unrequited love. Ms. Hearts joins the rest of the dots that the assassins are being supplied with these goggles so that they can eliminate anyone who is about to engage in a relationship where he shows unrequited love. Agent Perv remarks that tutor-zoning people is a good way to cut off their unrequited love. But how are they tutor-zoning people, Lonely cat Lady wonders. Bart asks about Mr.B, and just then a message from Dr. Cupid shows up on the screen. He mocks MI(SI)NGLE and lets them know that he has Mr. B captive, and will break his heart unless they back off. He laughs manically and says that Global Singledom will end very soon.

Perv and Bart leave immediately, promising to bring Mr. B back safely and save the world (not really, just the single people). Ms. Hearts stops them and says that they have both graduated from the tees to suits. Perv and Bart high-five at this.

Cue epic suiting up sequence and the main theme.

Tracking the communicator sewn into Mr. B’s suit, Perv and Bart reach a charity fund-raiser in London. They realize that Mr. B is being held captive somewhere in the basement. They infiltrate the party and swipe the key-cards by knocking out security personnel. Dr. Cupid watches this and deploys a secret weapon. Just as Bart and Perv are about to unlock the doors to the basement, two gorgeous ladies walk up to them and ask to buy them drinks. Forever single Bart and Perv can’t believe it and try to talk them off, but the ladies persist and almost drag them to the bar. Bart mumbles a protest that he is not yet 21, while Perv is already onto his third glass of wine. Back at the HQ, Jilted Lover curses that the biggest weakness of MI(SI)NGLE operatives have always been seduction. As Perv climbs into paradise, thoroughly seduced, Bart struggles to stay focussed. With great effort, he manages to shoot himself and Perv with the Repulsor. The ladies immediately let go of them and they escape. Once far away, Perv sobers up a little and breaks down about how he was compromised so easily. Bart consoles him and intones that they must hurry to save Mr. B. With great admiration, Perv confers upon Bart the title: ‘Sakht Launda’.

They break into the basement, but don’t find Mr. B. Upon thorough searching, they find the communicator strapped to a webcam, which activates. From the other end, Dr. Cupid chuckles and mocks them and asks them to send his regards to Jilted Lover. He asks them to enjoy a demonstration of his vision coming to fruition. Bart and Perv climb to the roof and see the assassins armed with sniper rifles pointed at various positions within the hall. They put on the goggles and realize that the targets of the snipers are couples on the dance-floor, but only those with one partner in love. As the snipers start firing small, almost invisible darts, the couples start having arguments and breaking up. Bart can’t help but marvel at it and tells the audience that Dr. Cupid might actually be doing the world a favour. Bart and Perv then start using their skills to take out the assassins. Once done, they analyse the ammo: small darts filled with some sort of poison. Ms. Hearts declares that the poison, one of Dr. Cupid’s formulations is precisely what is causing tutor-zoning and other kind of estrangement among potential lovers.

Bart and Perv are frustrated to hit another dead-end, but Ms. Hearts tells them that the darts are manufactured by a Swiss company. She immediately dispatches the “Friendzone Force” (the Special Ops Division of MI(SI)NGLE) to clear it out. From the Force’s raid, it becomes clear that Dr. Cupid’s lair is in the Swiss Alps and also that his benefactor is a company called: ‘We Heart It’, a manufacturer of cardiac stents and pacemakers.

Bart and Perv infiltrate Dr. Cupid’s lair, which turns out to be a factory of ‘We Heart It’. Eliminating the opposition, they finally manage to reach Mr. B and free him. Mr. B is overjoyed to see them and hear about their discovery. Then Mr. B informs them of his own discovery, that We Heart It is owned by former operatives of MI(SI)NGLE, who were presumed dead, led by the legendary Jim Baxter, the original Agent Nice Guy. And then Jim and Dr. Cupid show up with their large army and surround the trio. Bart can’t help but ask why Dr. Cupid wants to eliminate unrequited love and why Mr. Baxter is helping him. So they take them to see their crowning glory. Bart, Perv and Mr. B are taken up to a command centre, with a live feed from the major cities of the world. As Dr. Cupid presses a button, snipers positioned in the cities open fire. On a giant meter, Bart sees all the one-sided and unrequited love vanishing from the world. But Perv then shows him an adjacent monitor where another meter called mutual love starts filling up. And then it finally becomes clear to everyone. Baxter explains that one-sided love is one of the worst experiences in singlehood and being the definitive Nice Guy, he had become sick and tired of just giving love and never getting it back. MI(SI)NGLE was disillusioned and clung to a dying ideal. So he faked his own death and slowly started seeding the research of Dr. Cupid, which would transfer all the wasted unrequited love in the world to couples who were mutually in love. At this, Bart speaks up. He stresses that just because you can’t get back love doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show it. He points out that Baxter’s idea of always getting back the love he gives is impractical and selfish and a violation of the codename Agent Nice Guy. He cries on how Dr. Cupid has it all wrong and that even those who aren’t loved deserve to love. This melts Dr. Cupid’s heart and he reconsiders going through with his plan. Baxter pushes him away from the console. Amidst the scuffle, Mr.B frees himself and Perv. He then takes down the armed guards. Once freed, Bart tries to call off the snipers, but Mr. Baxter blocks his path. So ensues a fight between the two Nice Guys. Mr. B pulls Dr. Cupid back to his feet and Dr. Cupid calls off the attack. Baxter and Bart duel to the edge of the bridge, that dangles precipitously over a sharp drop. Baxter beats Bart back repeatedly, until Bart shoots himself with the dart. Repulsed, Baxter lets go and he falls (NO, not to his death jeez, he just falls to the next floor and breaks his arm).

And so the day is saved. Dr. Cupid reverses the effect of the dart, bringing everyone back to normal. So on Monday morning, a heartbroken Flynn wakes up to open the door and see an equally heartbroken Zoey, who asks if he would like to go to a concert with her. Dr. Cupid leaves, hoping not to cross paths with MI(SI)NGLE again.

Bart is lauded greatly by Mr. B and Perv. The three are conferred medals by Jilted Lover. And Bart’s speech is actually written down in the Great Book of MI(SI)NGLE quotes. Bart tells the audience that he could have easily gone down the same road as Baxter, had it not been for this experience. So he requests Jilted Lover to change his codename from Nice Guy to Sakht Launda (he has no idea what it means). He remarks that he is very gald to be single and looks forward to enjoying it for a long time. He returns to school, to the welcome arms of Abigail and Flynn. Abigail is shocked to learn everything. Bart smiles and says he has to go look for a new crush. Abigail decides to lend him a helping hand.

FINIS

PS: At the MI(SI)NGLE success party, Heartbreak kid asks Eager Beaver how he is doing and that she is really glad that he is back, safe and sound. Bart interrupts her to ask what is the policy on fraternizing among agents. She savagely replies that there is no policy, since all the agents are so repulsive that they can barely stand each other. She goes back to talking with Mr.B. Perv asks Bart why he asked such a strange question. Bart just hands him the goggles. Perv puts it on to see two filled meters over Ms. Hearts and Mr. B’s heads.

#fanfic #fiction #writeblr #writblr #excerpt from a story i'll never write #storytelling #story #original #spy au #spy #single #unrequited crush #the upside of unrequited #humor #writer humor #rejects writing #friendzone

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bountyofbeads · 5 years

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‘Bleak’ U.N. Report Finds World Heading to Climate Catastrophes https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/26/climate/greenhouse-gas-emissions-carbon.html

Bleak’ U.N. Report Finds World Heading to Climate Catastrophes

By Somini Sengupta | Published Nov. 26, 2019, 3:00 AM ET | New York Times | Posted November 26, 2019 |

Four years after countries struck a landmark deal in Paris to rein in greenhouse gas emissions in an effort to avert the worst effects of global warming, humanity is headed toward those very climate catastrophes, according to a United Nations report issued Tuesday, with China and the United States, the two biggest polluters, having expanded their carbon footprints last year.

“The summary findings are bleak,” the report said, because countries have failed to halt the rise of greenhouse gas emissions even after repeated warnings from scientists. The result, the authors added, is that “deeper and faster cuts are now required.”

The world’s 20 richest countries, responsible for more than three-fourths of emissions, must take the biggest, swiftest steps to move away from fossil fuels, the report emphasized. The richest country of all, the United States, however, has formally begun to pull out of the Paris accord altogether.

Global greenhouse gas emissions have grown by 1.5 percent every year over the last decade, according to the annual assessment, the Emissions Gap Report, which is produced by the United Nations Environment Program. The opposite must happen if the world is to avoid the worst effects of climate change, including more intense droughts, stronger storms and widespread food insecurity by midcentury. To stay within relatively safe limits, emissions must decline sharply, by 7.6 percent every year, between 2020 and 2030, the report warned.

Separately, the World Meteorological Organization reported on Monday that emissions of three major greenhouse gases — carbon dioxide, methane and nitrous oxide — have all swelled in the atmosphere since the mid-18th century.

Under the Paris Agreement, reached in November, 2015, every country has pledged to rein in emissions, with each setting its own targets and timetables. Even if every country fulfills its current pledges — and many, including the United States, Brazil and Australia, are currently not on track to do so — the Emissions Gap Report found average temperatures are on track to rise by 3.2 degrees Celsius from the baseline average temperature at the start of the industrial age.

For more climate news sign up for the Climate Fwd: newsletter or follow @NYTClimate on Twitter.

According to scientific models, that kind of temperature rise sharply increases the likelihood of extreme weather events, the accelerated melting of glaciers and swelling seas — all endangering the lives of billions of people.

The Paris Agreement resolved to hold the increase in global temperatures well below 2 degrees Celsius, or 3.6 degrees Fahrenheit; last year, a United Nations-backed panel of scientists said the safer limit was to keep it to 1.5 degrees Celsius.

There are many ways to reduce emissions: quitting the combustion of fossil fuels, especially coal, the world’s dirtiest fossil fuel; switching to renewable energy like solar and wind power; moving away from gas- and diesel-guzzling cars; and halting deforestation.

🍁☕🍂🍞🍁☕🍂🍞🍁☕🍂🍞🍁☕

India’s Ominous Future: Too Little Water, or Far Too Much

By Bryan Denton and Somini Sengupta | Published Nov. 25, 2019 | New York Times | Posted November 26, 2019 |

Decades of short-sighted government policies are leaving millions defenseless in the age of climate disruptions – especially the country’s poor.

THE MONSOON IS CENTRAL TO INDIAN LIFE AND LORE. It turns up in ancient Sanskrit poetry and in Bollywood films. It shapes the fortunes of millions of farmers who rely on the rains to nourish their fields. It governs what you eat. It even has its own music.

Climate change is now messing with the monsoon, making seasonal rains more intense and less predictable. Worse, decades of short-sighted government policies are leaving millions of Indians defenseless in the age of climate disruptions – especially the poor.

After years of drought, a struggling farmer named Fakir Mohammed stares at a field of corn ruined by pests and unseasonably late rains. Rajeshree Chavan, a seamstress in Mumbai, has to sweep the sludge out of her flooded ground floor apartment not once, but twice during this year’s exceptionally fierce monsoon. The lakes that once held the rains in the bursting city of Bangalore are clogged with plastic and sewage. Groundwater is drawn faster than nature can replenish it.

Water being water, people settle for what they can find. In a parched village on the eastern plains, they gather around a shallow, fetid stream because that’s all there is. In Delhi, they worship in a river they hold sacred, even when it’s covered in toxic foam from industrial runoff. In Chennai, where kitchen taps have been dry for months, women sprint downstairs with neon plastic pots under their arms when they hear a water truck screech to a halt on their block.

The rains are more erratic today. There’s no telling when they might start, nor how late they might stay. This year, India experienced its wettest September in a century; more than 1,600 people were killed by floods; and even by the time traditional harvest festivals rolled around in October, parts of the country remained inundated.

Even more troubling, extreme rainfall is more common and more extreme. Over the last century, the number of days with very heavy rains has increased, with longer dry spells stretching out in between. Less common are the sure and steady rains that can reliably penetrate the soil. This is ruinous for a country that gets the vast share of its water from the clouds.

The problem is especially acute across the largely poor central Indian belt that stretches from western Maharashtra State to the Bay of Bengal in the east: Over the last 70 years, extreme rainfall events have increased threefold in the region, according to a recent scientific paper, while total annual rainfall has measurably declined.

“Global warming has destroyed the concept of the monsoon,” said Raghu Murtugudde, an atmospheric scientist at the University of Maryland and an author of the paper. “We have to throw away the prose and poetry written over millennia and start writing new ones!”

India’s insurance policy against droughts, the Himalayas, is at risk, too. The majestic mountains are projected to lose a third of their ice by the end of the century if greenhouse gas emissions continue to rise at their current pace.

But, as scientists are quick to point out, climate change isn’t the only culprit to blame for India’s water woes. Decades of greed and mismanagement are far more culpable. The lush forests that help to hold the rains continue to be cleared. Developers are given the green light to pave over creeks and lakes. Government subsidies encourage the over-extraction of groundwater.

The future is ominous for India’s 1.3 billion people. By 2050, the World Bank estimates, erratic rainfall, combined with rising temperatures, stand to “depress the living standards of nearly half the country’s population.”

THE MARATHWADA REGION, stretching out across western India, is known for its cruel, hot summers. Hardly any rivers cut through it, which means that Marathwada’s people rely almost entirely on the monsoon to fill the wells and seep into the black cotton soil.

Marathwada is also an object lesson in how government decisions that have nothing to do with climate change can have profoundly painful consequences in the era of climate change.

In October, just weeks before the traditional harvest season, Fakir Mohammed led me through his family’s one-and-a-half-acre plot of land. A neem tree stood in the middle of the fields. Lie under it, Mr. Mohammed said with pride, and you’ll never get sick.

The same could not be said of his land.

The rains had been deficient for most of the last nine years. This year, they came late, and when they came, the thirsty ground drank everything.

Then, an infestation of fall armyworm attacked Mr. Mohammed’s corn. The millet was ravaged by a fly. The cotton had flowered, but Mr. Mohammed could tell it would be a paltry harvest. “We worked very hard,” he said. “But we’ll get nothing out of this.”

Worse, the rains this year did nothing to solve the community’s drinking water shortage. Even at the end of the monsoon, Mr. Mohammed’s well was dry. A dam nearby, built to supply drinking water to his village and nearly 20 others, had turned to scrubland, fit only for a few skinny cows to graze.

Water is so precious that the women of his family said they drank half a cup if they wanted a whole one. They went without a daily shower so their children could go to school clean and fresh. When their nerves were frayed, they smacked a child who spilled a cup by accident.

Every day, four government trucks came down the muddy lane to fill the village water tank, which met a fraction of what the village needs. Most people bought drinking water from far away.

Mr. Mohammed was grateful for whatever the clouds had to give this year, but he was also anxious. “There’s no water to drink, but at least it’s good for the fields,” he said. “I’m scared in my heart. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future.”

Mr. Mohammed, who says he is around 60, is not wrong to worry. Since 1950, annual rainfall has declined by 15 percent across Marathwada, according to an analysis by Roxy Mathew Koll, a monsoon specialist at the Indian Institute of Tropical Meteorology. In that same period, cloudbursts have shot up threefold.

But here’s what’s shocking. Also during that same period, Marathwada, along with the rest of India, has seen a boom in the production of one of thirstiest crops on earth: sugar cane.

Down the road from Mr. Mohammed’s village, on land that gets water from an upstream dam, farmers had planted acres and acres with sugar cane. Why? Because sugar mills had sprung up across the state, some owned by politicians and their friends. They were ready to pay handsomely for cane.

Bizarrely, the taxpayers of India, one of the most water-stressed countries in the world, have aided sugar producers handsomely. The government subsidizes electricity, encouraging farmers to pump groundwater for their sugarcane fields, as well as fertilizers, which are used in vast quantities for sugar. State-owned banks offer cheap loans, which are sometimes written off, especially when politicians are courting farmers’ votes. This year, the government has approved nearly $880 million in export subsidies for sugar mills.

With all those perks, sugar cane production has grown faster than any other crop since independence from British rule in 1947, making India the world’s biggest sugar producer, according to an analysis by Ramanan Laxminarayan, a researcher at the Princeton Environmental Institute. Three-fourths of irrigated sugar cane production takes place in areas under “extremely high water stress,” the World Resources Institute found.

In October, just before the Hindu festival to mark the harvest, another Marathwada farmer named Ashok Pawar sent me pictures of ruin: Freakish rains had washed away his soy and mung beans. No one in his village had seen anything like it so late in the season.

THE IMAGE of the pot-bellied Hindu god, Ganesha, that hangs above Savita Vilas Kasurde’s narrow doorway is intended to keep obstacles away from her family’s path.

The same cannot be said for the Mithi River, which flows a few steps from Ms. Kasurde’s door. Its path has been blocked every which way as it winds through this city of 13 million people.

Mumbai’s international airport straddles the Mithi; you can see the planes taking off from Ms. Kasurde’s street. Sewage and rubbish pour into the Mithi. A vast spread of high-rises have been built on land reclaimed from the Mithi, along with higgledy-piggledy working class enclaves like this one, perched precariously on its edge. They are the ones that flood first and flood worst after a heavy rain. The city’s other natural defense against floods, mangrove trees, have been pulled out to make room for concrete.

Ms. Kasurde is a seasoned veteran. When the water rises, she hauls her fridge on top of the highest table, unplugs the television, wraps her children’s school books in plastic. When the water is up to her knees, she takes it all upstairs to the second floor bedroom. The power goes out when it rains hard. Going to the shared neighborhood toilet means wading through fetid waters. “We just sit in the dark,” said Ms. Kasurde.

Mumbai got more rain this year than it had in 65 years, and several times this season, it came in exceptionally heavy downpours. The drains overflowed. The lanes filled with muck. Commuter trains were disrupted. Flights were diverted. Several times in Mrs. Kasurde’s neighborhood, schools turned to storm shelters. Those without an upstairs room sloshed through the water to get there.

After each flood, as the waters began to recede, they returned to cover their noses and sweep the water and sludge out of their homes. Mosquitoes can breed in the puddles of dirty water. A dengue outbreak was the last thing they needed.

This is what worried Rajeshree Chavan nearby when I saw her in the middle of the monsoon. She had managed to save her sewing machine, the source of her livelihood, twice this year when her ground floor room flooded. She had to throw away a sack of rice and her kids’ clothes.

It infuriated her that politicians came through only when they were trolling for votes. Even the state’s top politician was here earlier in the year, she said. He wanted the neighborhood’s support for the governing Bharatiya Janata Party, she recalled. He promised new houses for people on higher ground, in the northern suburbs of the city. He left after giving symbolic plastic keys to five families.

Bryan Denton, a photographer based in India, and Somini Sengupta, the Times’s global climate reporter, visited cities and villages around India to see how climate change and misguided policies are upending the country’s relationship to a precious resource.

🍁☕🍂🍞🍁☕🍂🍞🍁☕🍂🍞🍁☕

#climate crisis #climatechangeisreal #climateaction #climate change #climate justice #climate activism #climate protest #international news #world news #u.s. news #un report #us news #us politics #politics #politics and government

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dailyaudiobible · 5 years

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06/08/2019 DAB Transcript

1 Kings 3:3-4:34, Acts 6:1-15, Psalms 126:1-6, Proverbs 16:26-27

Today is the 8th day of June. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I’m Brian. It is great to be here with you as we end a week, another one of our weeks. Today would've been my mom's birthday. And, so, I can't help but recognize that. We lost her a couple of years ago and I don't know if there's a day that goes by that I don't think of my mom and remember her with fondness. So, I use birthday to be grateful, and I am grateful for my mother. But we have come here for other things besides that. We have come to allow God's word to speak to us at the close of our week and we’ve been reading from the New Living Translation this week, which is what we will do today. And we’re working our way into, kinda moving into first Kings. And David's reign has come to an end and he's died, and his son Solomon now sits on the throne and he's firmly on the throne. And, so, we’ll begin to see what his reign looked like. First Kings chapter 3 verse 3 through 4 verse 34 today.

Prayer:

Thank You, Father for Your word, thank You for bringing us through another week in Your word, thank You for the transitions that happened this week as we moved into this new month and moved into new territory in the Scriptures. And Father even as we’re here in the New Testament and Steven has been arrested, we will take note of his testimony that is forthcoming and how it will review for us all of the territory pretty much that we've covered so far in the Scriptures. And, so, we will choose in the coming week to pay close attention to that. We thank You for Your faithfulness in our lives and all that You are doing and all that You have yet to do. We open ourselves to You completely. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In Jesus name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, and that’s home base and it’s where you find out what’s happening.

And the Daily Audio Bible Family Reunion 2019 or the global campfire Family Reunion, it’s coming up this August 31st through September 2nd, which is Labor Day. And as we’ve been mentioning this week, registration is open, registration is filling. And we’re excited because it’s a fantastic time. It was a fantastic time last year and we expect nothing but the same again this year as we all come together and just enjoy some fellowship and some play together with those that we’ve been traveling the entire year with through the Bible, which creates such an interesting shorthand among the community. Like, it's…we’re just already on the same page and it just takes a couple of minutes before you feel at home. That’s one of the distinctives and one of the things that I love, that I just marvel at about this community. So, we'll be getting together, and you can check it all out at dailyaudiobible.com in the Initiatives section. Just look for family reunion 2019 and you can get all the details. Come as family, come, just come stay on the grounds, enjoy all that it has to offer, enjoy the fellowship that will be happening. All the details are at dailyauidobible.com in the Initiatives section.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that dailyaudiobible.com as well. There's a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that is it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello Daily Audio Bible family, this is Treasured Possession calling from sunny Minnesota on the 6th of June and Pastor Brian talked today about the fact that Jesus Christ is in us, His Holy Spirit that resurrected Him from the dead is within us, so we should be experiencing miracles every day. And just to let you know…I thank you for saying that because I’ve always believed that the Bible isn’t a history book. It’s that but it’s also…and it’s also…it’s not a way to manage your sin. I love that, the way you said that Pastor Brian. That was perfect. That was…I mean…I’m gonna be working on that for the next couple weeks, but as a day in the life of an ASPI, I’ll just let you know, my husband and I went in and we had to get our wellness check. And because we have so many things going on and we’re just so…our lack of focus is just so over the charts. Yes, back in April he got a notification that that had to get done, but of course we waited until the very last day. We called…we prayed of course…we throw ourselves on the mercy of God. We go into the doctors and unbelievably there’s two openings back to back and we were able to see her doctor. Neither one of us have a doctor. And just to make a long story short the Lord always…thank you Jesus…shows up for us. So, praise God and hallelujah and He is real, He is alive, and He is in us and I believe that if we seek His will and His work to heal people, those kind of healings like Peter did will happen and they do happen all the time. I don’t know why we don’t hear about more about but…

Hi family it’s Shannon from Salem Oregon. As I was praying along with the prayer requests on DAB tonight, I was just really struck with how diverse our prayer requests are from all over the world and the different struggles that our family is going to in the DAB and in the body of Christ around the globe. And I feel like what the Lord was speaking to my heart was, you know, Satan has attacked us in so many ways and he is trying, like that lion who is seeking to steal and kill and destroy to devour, he’s chasing us, devouring us, trying to devour us with all these different things, with sicknesses, with just life circumstances that are difficult, with family members that are in prison, with heartbreaks, with just everything and then I just felt like the Lord was giving me this huge hope of just His redemption. What Satan meant to destroy us God turns and uses it for the very thing that brings salvation to other people. And there are people that will be touched because we’ve had these hard experiences and then we can relate and identify to what other people are going through just like in second Corinthians, we are able to comfort others with the comfort we’ve received from the Lord. And, so I just want to encourage you family. I have wasted a lot of time recently in some struggles that we’ve been in feeling really sorry for myself and because…

Hi, my name is Stephanie and I’m calling from Bangalore India. I moved here only a couple of months ago and have since gotten married. Marriage was the reason I moved. I wanted to call in and ask for prayer as I am going through a lot of transitions right now between culture shock, moving from the US to India, and also just all of the issues with being newly married. In addition, my body is having a very difficult time here in India. I’m seeing all kinds of really random symptoms and it’s hard to know how to even start to address some of them. So, prayers would really be appreciated for my healing. In addition, I am older, I am going to be turning 40 this year and my husband and I both would really like to have children if that’s God’s will and with all of these physical things going on it’s…it’s not beyond God’s power but it is difficult sometimes to believe, that He could give us a child or more than one. So, prayers for that would be appreciated. And also, just prayers for the country of India right now. We recently got new election results in and it shows a landside for a very pro-Hindu government. And while I’m in South India and the persecution here is not as much, there’s still possibilities. So, please pray for the people of India and that God’s word would be known and that our prime minister even would come to know Christ. As far-fetched as that seems we know that God can reach people and do greater mighty works. Thank you very much. I won’t be listening to this for a while. I am only on the 16th of February but I’m slowly getting caught up…

Hi, my name is Chad from Texas. Several things going on that I want prayer for. I’ve been a…I was a police officer for almost 16 years and recently was wrongfully terminated and I am in the process of litigation with the police department. And they are reaching out to me now, my attorney, to try and mediate the situation to get it included and I just am praying for just the best situation possible. I was a police officer for 16 years, never been in trouble, never had a write up, never anything like that and the new chief came in and I didn’t like the way that he was appointed, and we had a difficulty with it, with each other, and within a month I was terminated. Also, please pray for me, I am having a surgery next Monday on the 10th, June 10th. I’ve had several surgeries, and this will be my 6th…my 16th surgery I think. So, please pray that I recovered to quickly. I’m a teacher now and I hoping that I recover quickly as I’m moving to a new school next year to be with my children and I want to make sure that I can start this position on time. And just know that I pray for everybody. I’ve been sitting for years and I just appreciate it. I really didn’t like calling in and just asking for prayer for myself, but I really need it right now. So, if you could pray for me I would really appreciate it. Thank you.

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starvedfortime · 4 years

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for people who are asking me for tips and tricks for apex, I have a few that I've learned along the way of my one year almost two year process of playing Apex

use shield cells before syringes

don't be afraid to use ammo (if you have lots of it)

if your teammate is down and you're in a team fight, do not worry about them, you can pick them up later! (unless you're lifeline)

the same goes if they go down all the way, grab their banner later

grab lots and lots of shield cells compared to syringes (I usually do two shield batteries 8 shield cells four syringes two med kits, although some people like to go almost all shield batteries and shield cells)

if it's first and second-round, it's okay to stay in the ring to loot boxes, it won't damage you as much as third or fourth or so on and so on(I used to be really scared of the ring)

if you're getting shot, slide and zig zag a lot and take cover (even if it's a small rock)

if you have an auto gun don't go for purple scopes!!!(unless its digital threat or you wanna use single fire)

r301 and flatline have both auto and single fire without hop up

play around with the guns in the firing range!! see what setup fits your playing style or tactic that you're going for, for that match. (not that it matters anymore in season 6)

me personally I like to go for either r-301/prowler, r-99/prowler, flatline/prowler, double prowler/r-99/r-301, prowler/hemlok. i could go on but if you can't tell already my favorite gun is the prowler(this was before season six)

go in the firing range and learn how each gun recoil works (example: r99 while aiming recoils up and to the right, so aim down and left)

don't loot in one area for most of the round, hop through different areas

if you're looting a box, just skim through it for what you need (syringes, add-ons like mags or stocks, ammo) unless you know for sure no one is around

don't play one character for too long, youll be stranded if you have no back up

once you get comfortable and know the basics of one character, try to practice another (Im comfortable playing Wattson, Loba, Octane Lifeline and kind of bloodhound, so now I am practicing Mirage)

you may not think of it, but choose skins that blend in with the map. like beige or green or white. or even black! (just an option tho)

there's no such thing as over using your abilities, unless it gives out your position.*cough* gibby *cough* bangalore *cough*

so don't be afraid to use bloodhounds scanner a lot. or lobas jumpdrive or wraiths phasing or mirage decoy or octane stim...you get the point

for the love of God if you are playing lifeline, heal your teammates!!! don't let your teammate revive your other teammate. you do it, thats kind of why lifeline was made

speaking of lifeline, if you see her reviving someone, shoot her, not the person who is getting revived. (you can easily kill them because they will have low health when they are up)

when you're up against an enemy, and you have to reload, DON'T

sounds kind of weird saying it, but if you have another auto gun switch guns. you really don't want to be caught while reloading when you can easily just switch to another gun.

try getting guns that arent the same as your teamamtes that way you dont run out of ammo.

just suggesting

if your style is more campy, try getting an auto paired with a sniper or if you still want double auto, get an auto of your choice and then either a flat line or r301 with purple scope (as i said above, you can switch from single to auto with those two)

every ammo type has different effects. better understanding of what I mean; this video explains it (very old, so not sure if its still the accurate)

if someones being toxic, mute them. some people say it doesnt bother them but it can still ruin the whole mood. you want to be excited and happy to play not angry or upset.

imma be a basic bitch here, but be positive. i sound so cliche saying it, but when im positive or have teammates hyping me up i do SO much better

ping loot for your teamates, know what they have. that way when you get in a fight theyll be just as prepared. its not fun when you or another teamate gets down because one person has white shields while someone has purple

if you don't use grenades that much or feel like you should be using more grenades and you play on ps4, set your settings to grenadier (im sure its the same for xbox but im not sure)

dont. ever. grab. a Mozambique. unless you're like some god or whatever just dont. as of now, Mozambique is THE worst gun ever. if you have no other choice grab it but if you find aNYthing else, switch it. heck, a p2020 is better

please dont destroy lobas black market unless everyone has gotten something. I've had so many people hit my black market and i haven't even grabbed anything nor has my other teammate. let the lobas destroy it.

tips for certain gear

give gibby and lifelines the golden backpack, they can revive faster and better with it

if there is a lifeline, give her the golden knockdown she can help revive downed teamates

the golden helmet shortens the cooldown on lengends tactical

prioritize giving wattson and caustic the golden helmet, more traps the better

prioritize giving the golden helmet to bloodhound, rev, crypto, gibby, rampart and lifeline if you wanna push

giving the golden helmet to characters like loba, path, wraith, bangalore, octane, and mirage are more for escaping

using finishers gets all your shields back

tips for each legends (from my experience)

wattson:

place fences behind doors if you are in a building

if you find an accelerator, use it right away unless you already have your ultimate

she will get full ultimate with an accelerator

if you start to get in the fight, immediately put down your ultimate

make sure you have backup accelerators(alteast two or more)

place your fences in zigzags if you are camping

if you do that the enemies have no choice but to walk through or go away (unless you don't have your ultimate down, then they can just throw grenades and destroy them)

grenades and any incoming artillery will be destroyed if you have your ultimate down

no matter what kind of building you're in, always put down fences

if you're playing her or have her on your team and you get hurt and have no shields and barely any health, make sure the ultimate is down and heal yourself first before using shields

healing yourself first is more efficient than using shields first since her ultimate heals shields, you can hit two birds with one stone (unless you have a phoenix kit)

have the habit of placing fences down fast, it does not matter if its precise

if youve just put down fences and decide to go somewhere else, you can pick them up so you don't have to wait for them to come back

place fences at the end of the portal, like caustic↓

lifeline:

if you're the only one low on health, do not use your drone, use syringes

I see a lot of lifeline players do this but they never put down D.O.C and i don't understand why

always put down your drone if your team is low on health or in a fight or reviving, if you're just looting and running around, don't put it down you never know when somethings gonna happen

you can use lifelines ultimate to trick people (the care package has a beam and when it opens it goes away so you can tell if someone is nearby if you see the care package light go away)

you can use the care package as a way of cover from bullets

open up the blue bins!!!!!!

loba:

you can use her jump drive to get into windows and tight spots

you can't run while doing jump drive though

her ultimate has a long range so go to places like the cities or the cage to get the most out of her ultimate

there's really no point if you put it in a small tiny place where you can easily loot everything within like 30 seconds

like lifeline she can use her ultimate as a way to block bullets, but it can be destroyed

use accelerators

octane:

I know his whole point is being fast but do not go so far ahead of your team(you can easily run into it an enemy squad or have your teammates left behind)

you don't need as many syringes as you would with any other character, he can heal but very slowly.

if you don't have a wattson or a caustic you can place the jump pad in front of the door and they can't get it in

unlike caustic or wattson, his jump pad never goes away so you can make as many jump pads as you want

if you are octane or have an octane on your team and you're down, you can use the jump pad to get away

caustic:

placing his traps next to the doors is perfectly fine but it's best to place them right in front of the door(like right where the door and wall meet)

just like wattson, he can pick up his traps

if you're playing with a wraith, always put down a trap at the end of her portal (that way if enemies follow you, they'll get gassed)

if you're camping in a building and enemies are trying to get in but they know you have the gas traps laying down, you can shoot them to release the gas

at the bottom of his traps there's a little green light that you can shoot that will destroy them (you don't have to hit exactly there but make sure you hit the bottom) you can only do this to enemy caustics

bloodhound:

if you hear any sort of noise, no matter how loud it is, and you know its not your teammates, use your scan

you can see footsteps but your teammates can't, ping them but dont spam

you have to time the ultimate right or else you'll just get shot down

using the ult has an animation, so enemies can shoot you during that moment

you can scan and see who the real mirage is by seeing if they have a triangle in the middle of their chest. the fake ones won't have it

gibraltar:

if you don't have a lifeline throw down your dome and it will revive teammates faster(along with shields and heals)

i honestly dont ever play gibby, like at all. along with bangalore.

banagalore:

she kinda useless

i love her but, my god

shes so boring 😭 i feel so bad

not much to her really

she can run fast when she gets shot

she REALLY needs a change or huge buff

wraith:

she really good if shes paired with a wattson or caustic or revenant

use her portal to get away from the zone or to bait enemies into the zone

if you ever hear her voice warning you, immediately warn your teamates

pathfinder:

use his zipline to get out of situations

get up on higher ground with his grapple or zipline

use the map beacons to see where your next ring is, that way you can see where you can loot before the ring closes in

you can grapple enemies, ziplines and cryptos drone

mirage:

the next best person to revive someone is mirage, he goes invisible when respawning and reviving teammates

send a decoy and go the other way

use decoys to see where the enemies are if you don't have a bloodhound or a crypto

crypto:

don't stay in drone mode for too long that's when you're the most vulnerable

don't take forever trying to scope out the area that your team is in

just see what's around you and logout of your drone

the best way to use his drone (in my opinion) is to scout the area and then go up high and look down in a birdseye view so you can see almost everything around you

his drone EMP can remove 50 shields, traps, and slow down enemies

if you're going to use your drone, stand in a corner or behind something so you don't get caught

revenant:

take advantage of his wall climb and get on higher ground

don't throw his tactical right at the person. if they are running throw it in front or behind them

use his tactical as traps, meaning; if there's only two doors throw one at each door

put his totem somewhere safe, enemies can shoot at it

that's all I really have on the legends. I'm starting to play different characters other than lifeline, wattson, loba, octane and bloodhound. if you have any more tips for each legend go ahead and tell me and ill add it here

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srinithyananda · 5 years

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1ST NOVEMBER 2019 MORNING(ENGLISH) NITHYANANDA SATSANGH TODAY'S POWERFUL COGNITIONS : *TODAY IS THE FIFTH DAY OF SKANDA SHASTI BRAHMOTSAVAM. WE WILL BE OFFERING OUR GRATITUDE TO LORD SUBRAMANYA WHO CONQUERED SURAPADMAN. TOMORROW EVENING WE WILL BE OBSERVING THE SURASAMHARAM, WHERE LORD SUBRAMANYA DESTROYED THE THREE DEMONS - SURAPADMA, TARAKASURA AND SIMHAMUKHA. AFTER THAT WOULD BE VALLI DEVASENA SAMETA SRI SURBRAMANYA SWAMI THIRUKALYANAM. *THE TRUTH I AM GOING TO REVEAL TODAY IS TOO POWERFUL AND TOO IMPORTANT. ARUNAGIRI YOGISHWARA TOLD ME ONCE IN TAMIL, “THE TRUTH TO THINK AND SPEAK, NEITHER YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED NOR YOU SHOULD LAG. NEITHER YOU SHOULD BE COMPROMISING, NOR YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN OR THINK.” *PAST CAN BE COMPLETELY CHANGED, ALTERED, TRANSFORMED, DELETED AND MADE TO DISAPPEAR IN PARTS OR FULL AND REWRITTEN AS WE WANT. I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE ANY DOUBT, THAT IS WHY I AM USING MULTIPLE WORDS. PAST CAN BE FULLY DELETED, PARTLY DELETED, DELETED AS WE WANT. IT CAN BE TRANSFORMED, FULLY OR PARTLY AS WE WANT. IT CAN BE CHANGED, REWRITTEN FULLY OR PARTLY AS WE WANT. I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FUTURE, I AM TALKING ABOUT PAST. THE PAST WHICH YOU THINK IS OVER, CAN BE CHANGED, TRANSFORMED, REWRITTEN, DELETED FULLY, PARTLY OR AS WE WANT PART BY PART, THE PARTS WE WANT. *I WILL TELL YOU ONE SMALL INCIDENT. I USED TO MAKE BEAUTIFUL DEITIES MADE OF CLAY. THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE CLAY GANESHAS, THE TRADITIONAL FAMILY OF KUYAVARS, FAMILIES WHO MAKE POTS AND SELL IN THE VILLAGES, THEY MAKE GANESHAS DURING GANESH CHATURTI. THEY BRING CLAY FROM THE NEARBY LAKE FROM THEIR HOUSE AND THEY BRING IT TO THE CENTER OF THE TOWN. THEY MAKE GANESHA WITH THE CLAY AND THE REMAINING CLAY THEY WILL LEAVE IT AND GO. THE LOCAL SHOP OWNERS WILL FEEL IT IS A BIG HEADACHE TO REMOVE THE CLAY. I USED TO COLLECT THAT CLAY AND MAKE LOTS OF DEITIES AND KEEP FOR NAVARATRI. ALL MY NEIGHBOURS ARE PART OF MY LARGER FAMILY. ONE OF MY GRANDMOTHERS, PATTAMMAL, SHE IS A VERY SWEET PERSON. HER HUSBAND TOLD ME ONCE, INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR WHOLE DAY MAKING DEITIES ON YOUR OWN, JUST SPEND A FEW RUPEES, BUY AND KEEP AND CELEBRATE NAVARATRI IN YOUR HOUSE! IN THOSE DAYS I USED TO BE HAVING THE DARSHAN OF ARUNAGIRI YOGISHWARA. I RAN TO ARUNAGIRI YOGISHWARA AND SAID, “MY NEIGHBOUR THATHA IS TELLING LIKE THIS SWAMIJI, WHAT SHOULD I DO?” HE LAUGHED AND SAID, “ALL THE PEOPLE WHO BUY FROM SHOP AND KEEP, DO YOU THINK THEY GET ENLIGHTENED? IT IS NOT THE DEITY, IT IS THE TIME YOU SPEND, YOUR ENERGY, YOUR INVOLVEMENT, THAT MAKES YOU ENLIGHTENED.” *HE MADE A VERY BEAUTIFUL STATEMENT: “LIVING IS LIFE. NOT EVERYTHING IS EQUIVALENT TO MONEY. IF EVERYTHING IS EQUIVALENT TO MONEY, THEN WE WILL PUT ALL THE MONEY IN THE BANK AND DIE, IS THAT LIFE?” *THE CLICK I HAD WITH ARUNAGIRI YOGISWARA WITH THIS TEACHING: “OUR INVOLVEMENT MAKES LIFE. OUR LIVING MAKES THE LIFE.” THEN I REALISED WHY PARIVARAJAKA! *THOSE DAYS WE USED TO HEAR REGULARLY, PARAMACHARYA IS WALKING PADAYATRA FROM HERE TO HERE. AND AFTER 15 DAYS, WE WILL HEAR HE HAS MOVED FROM TO THE NEXT VILLAGE. I USED TO THINK WHY 15 DAYS WE NEED TO WALK. WE CAN HIRE THE BICYCLE. FOR ONE HOUR HIRE IS 60 PAISE. IF YOU TAKE FOR TWO HOURS, 1 RUPEE, 60 PAISE DISCOUNT! I USED TO THINK, WE CAN HIRE A BICYCLE FOR ACHARYA AND ACHARYA CAN GO TO THE NEXT VILLAGE. *NOW I UNDERSTAND, WITH 10 VEHICLES, 2 AMBULANCE, KITCHEN CARAVAN, RESTROOM CARAVAN, I AM MAKING PEOPLE WALK BECAUSE I KNOW ANYONE INTENSELY DIVES INTO THE NOW, THE PRESENT LIFE GETS THE POWER NOT JUST REWRITING OR WRITING, CREATING THE FUTURE AS YOU WANT. YOU GET THE POWER TO REWRITE, DELETE, TRANSFORM THE WAY YOU WANT WITH YOUR PAST ALSO. *YOU MAY THINK, “SWAMIJI ALWAYS EXAGGERATES!” IF YOU THINK I ALWAYS EXAGGERATE, YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING. IF YOU THINK, “HE WILL TELL THE TRUTH ONLY, EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE EXAGGERATION. IN A FEW DAYS I WILL UNDERSTAND AND REALISE WHAT HE SAID”, YOU ARE MY DISCIPLE! *ANYBODY ACTIVELY PARTICIPATES IN VAKYARTHA SADAS EVERYDAY, NOT ONLY I WILL GIVE YOU DEEPER UNDERSTANDING, I WILL GIVE YOU ENLIGHTENMENT. *AVIMUKTA IS ASKING,”IS NOW TIME AT ALL?” NO! NOW IS NOT TIME! NOW IS POWERFUL COGNITION. WHEN I AM SAYING CREATION, SUSTENANCE, REJUVENATION, PULLING OUT OF DELUSION, ENLIGHTENMENT/LIBERATION - ALL THE 5 AND THE PERMUTATION COMBINATION OF 5 INTO 5, 25 HAPPEN “NOW” WITHOUT TIME GAP... WHEN I MAKE THIS STATEMENT… I AM GIVING YOU POWERFUL COGNITION. *SETTLE DOWN! VISUALISE, THIS “NOW” IS LIKE AN INTENSE THICK GOLD COLOUR SHINING CARPET AND PUT THAT ON YOUR HEAD AND SILENCE YOUR WHOLE BEING! SETTLE DOWN! PARAMASHIVOHAM! JUST PUT THAT GOLD COLOUR THICK CARPET NOW ON YOUR BRAIN! SHUT THE WHOLE BRAIN DOWN AND REST IN PURE CONSCIOUSNESS, PARAMASHIVA. *WHEN I SAID “NOW”, I MEAN SHUT DOWN YOUR BRAIN. NOT SHUT UP, SHUT DOWN. SHUT UP IS STOPPING WORDS. SHUT DOWN MEANS WHOLE THING OTHER THAN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, NOTHING SHOULD BE ACTIVE. NOW IS NOT TIME, IT IS A POWERFUL COGNITION. *TODAY GET INTO YOUR KAILAASA, YOUR BEDROOM. ALL OF YOU KEEP YOUR BEDROOM AS YOUR KAILAASA. EVEN IF YOU ARE MARRIED, TELL YOUR SPOUSE, “LET US TALK, FIGHT AND DO EVERYTHING OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM. LET’S KEEP THE BEDROOM AS A HAPPY PLACE.” *LET YOU HAVE THE BEAUTIFUL FEELING OF KAILAASA WHEN YOU ENTER THE BEDROOM. WHEN YOU GET INTO YOUR KAILAASA, REMEMBER, “I AM IN KAILAASA NOW, I AM IN THE SPACE OF NOW! LET ME SWITCH OFF.” FIRST 2 -3 DAYS ONLY SWITCHING OFF WILL BE DIFFICULT. NOT AFTER ONE WEEK. THE WILL PERSISTENCE HAS THE POWER TO SHUT DOWN THE WHOLE THING. *IF YOU CONSCIOUSLY SHUT DOWN WITH WILL PERSISTENCE FOR ONE WEEK, YOU WILL SEE OTHER THAN MAHAVAKYA, NOTHING ELSE WILL BE IN YOU. THE MOMENT YOU ENTER THE BEDROOM - IT WILL BE ‘OM NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVOHAM.’ *FIRST PRIORITY IS SOMEHOW TAKE 21 MONTHS IN YOUR LIFE AND COME AND DO KAYAKALPA YOGA. AT LEAST COME AND DO PARIVRAJAKA YATRA. IF YOU CANNOT DO BOTH, AT LEAST THIRD OPTION, KEEP YOUR BEDROOM AS KAILAASA. THE TIME YOU SPEND IN YOUR BEDROOM IS THE TIME YOU SPEND IN KAILAASA. IN ONE WEEK, YOU WILL SEE THE QUALITY OF YOUR SLEEP WILL BECOME TURIYA! IF YOU ARE REALLY ANGRY AND WANT TO FIGHT, STEP OUT OF THE ROOM, FIGHT AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AND WHEN YOU ENTER THE ROOM, YOU WILL BE LIKE PARAMASHIVA. *HARDLY IT MAY TAKE 6 MONTHS TO DEVELOP THIS AS LIFESTYLE. ANYONE KEEPS THEIR BEDROOM AS KAILAASA, IN LESS THAN ONE YEAR, YOU WILL START MANIFESTING POWERS. THE EXCITEMENT YOU FEEL WHEN THE POWER MANIFESTATION HAPPENS, IF YOU CAN HANDLE IT, I WILL GIVE YOU THE POWERS NOW. THE JOY IS TOO MUCH. EVERYONE WHO DOES KAYAKALPA AND PARIVRAJAKA YATRA WILL GO CRAZY WITH BLISS, NOT MENTAL BREAKDOWN! YOU WILL EXPLODE IN CONSCIOUSNESS. YOU WILL UNDERSTAND KALABHAIRAVA IS EXTREMELY COMPASSIONATE AND LIFE IS JUST! *THE IDEA YOU HAVE ABOUT HUMAN BEINGS DECIDES WHETHER YOUR LIFE IS HELL OR HEAVEN. THE INTENSE HOSPITALITY, LOVE I TASTED FROM HUMAN BEINGS AND UNKNOWNS, THAT MADE ME STRONGLY BELIEVE HUMAN BEINGS ARE GOOD AND PUT ME IN KAILAASA ONCE FOR ALL. *FOR EVERY LIVING BEING, I STRONGLY RECOMMEND PARIVRAJAKA BECAUSE IN PARIVRAJAKA, I WILL BE GIVING YOU ALL THE MEDICAL CARE. I WILL NOT BE GIVING YOU FOOD. FOOD YOU WILL BEG AND EAT. ONLY THEN YOU WILL RELATE WITH PEOPLE AND YOU WILL REALISE HOW GOOD PEOPLE ARE. TWO TIMES I EMPTIED THE WHOLE BANK OF NITHYANANDA SANGA. IN 2004, THE ISKCON PADAYATRA REACHED BIDADI CAMPUS. 20 PEOPLE REACHED BY WALKING GOING TO ALL KRISHNA KSHETRA. THEY WERE CROSSING BANGALORE, MYSORE ROAD. I PERSONALLY RECEIVED THEM AND GAVE EVERYTHING POSSIBLE. WHEN I SAW THEY ONLY HAD BULLOCK CART FOR KRISHNA AND SWAMI PRABUPADA. I GOT INTO NOSTALGIA OF HOW I USE TO DO PADA YATRA. I CALLED A FEW PEOPLE TO TAKE ALL THE MONEY OUT AND GAVE IT TO THEM. WHEN YOU WALK , GO FROM VILLAGE TO VILLAGE AND GULLY TO GULLY. YOU WILL REALISE HOW GOOD PEOPLE ARE. *I WILL PROVIDE EVERYTHING - AMBULANCE, CELL PHONES, CARAVANS, I WILL LET YOU MAKE YOUR FOOD JUST FOR YOU TO TASTE THE GOODNESS OF THE PEOPLE. IF HUMAN BEINGS COULD HAVE KILLED, THEY COULD HAVE KILLED ME BY NOT ATTENDING TO ME. I WOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED 10,000 TIMES. I CAN PROTECT MYSELF , BUT I AM NOT ABLE TO BELIEVE HUMAN BEINGS ARE BAD. I WILL CONTINUE TO LOVE AND TRUST HUMAN BEINGS. NOT ONLY I WILL BRING THE KNOWLEDGE OF KAILAASA AND SHARE WITH ALL OF YOU, BUT ALSO THE JNANA AND VIJNANA AND SHARE WITH ALL OF YOU. *BEFORE YOU ARE GIVEN POWERS, YOU SHOULD BE GIVEN THE FUNDAMENTAL COGNITION, HUMAN BEINGS ARE GOOD. IN HINDUISM, BEFORE A PERSON IS PUT AS PEETADIPATHI, THEY HAVE TO DO PARIVARAJAKA. *PARIVRAJAKACHARYA MEANS THOSE WHO HAVE GONE TO THE LENGTH AND BREADTH OF INDIA AND HAD DARSHAN OF THE 12 JYOTIR LINGAS. ONLY AFTER THAT HE CAN BE ACHARYA. *PARAMAHAMSA MEANS BECOMING ENLIGHTENED BEFORE PHYSICAL MATURITY. EACH OF THESE TITLES ONLY IF YOU HAVE DONE PARIVARAJAKA, YOU CAN BECOME ACHARYA AND PEETADIPATHI. TILL NOW, THE WORLD HAS SEEN MANY SARVAJNAPEETADIPATIS DO PARIVARAJAKA ALONE. FIRST TIME, I AM MAKING 25 FUTURE ACHARYAS OF DIFFERENT SARVAJNAPEETAS DOING PARIVARAJAKA AT THE SAME TIME.AND AT LEAST 100 PEOPLE ASSISTING ARE GOING TO TRAVEL WITH THEM. IT IS GOING TO BE ONE OF THE GREATEST HAPPENING IN THE HISTORY OF HINDUISM. ATLEAST I AM SEEING 100 SANYASIS, 300 DEVOTEES, 25 BALASANTHS ABOVE THE AGE OF 16 UNDER THE AGE OF 21 ARE GOING TO WALK , DOING PARIVARAJAKA. IT IS GOING TO BE REAL FUN. *WHEN YOU GO FROM HOUSE TO HOUSE WITH BHAGAVATHI BHIKSHAM DEVI, WHEN YOU SEE PEOPLE LOVING YOU FOR NO REASON, SUPPORTING YOU FOR NO REASON, CARING FOR YOU FOR NO REASON, EVERYDAY, EVERY MEAL YOU WILL GET THAT POWERFUL COGNITION. PEOPLE ARE GOOD. HUMAN BEINGS ARE GOOD. WHEN THAT BECOMES YOUR FOUNDATION, YOU BECOME FOUNTAIN OF LOVE. I PROTECT MYSELF JUST TO DO THIS WORK, OTHERWISE I DO NOT HATE ANYONE. FUNDAMENTALLY , I JUST KNOW PEOPLE ARE GOOD. DURING MY PARIVARAJAKA, EVEN WHEN I DID NOT RECEIVE FOOD FOR SOME DAYS, I USED TO THINK: PARAMASHIVA WANTS ME TO DO NIRAHARA SAMYAMA. MAYBE I HAVE EATEN SOMETHING I SHOULD NOT EAT, THAT IS WHY HE WANTS ME TO DO NIRAHARA. I WILL BE HAPPY! IF YOU KNOW, THE HAPPENED AND HAPPENING ARE ON THE CANVAS OF HAPPINESS, MAYBE THAT IS REASON, ALL THE THREE WORDS HAVE SAME ROOT. HAPPENED AND HAPPENING ARE HAPPENING ON THE CANVAS OF HAPPINESS. *WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO ATTACK ME, I TRY TO DEFEND MYSELF. MORE THAN THAT, I HAVE NO ANGER, HATRED, VIOLENCE FOR PEOPLE. I AM VERY CLEAR: HUMAN BEINGS ARE GOOD. WHEN I KNOW HUMAN BEINGS ARE GOOD, WHEN THEY DO SOME BAD THINGS, I CAN SEE CLEARLY THE LOGIC WITH WHICH THEY DO BAD THINGS. I CAN OUTSMART THEM. EVEN WHEN THEY TRY TO DO BAD THINGS, YOU WILL KNOW THEIR MIND SET. ONCE YOU KNOW WHY THEY ARE DOING WHAT THEY ARE TRYING TO DO, YOU CAN OUTSMART THEM. *”PEOPLE ARE GOOD” IS THE FOUNDATION OF KRISHNA'S STRATEGY.THAT IS WHY HIS STRATEGIES WORKED. “PEOPLE ARE BAD” IS THE FOUNDATION OF SHAKUNI'S STRATEGY.THAT IS WHY HIS STRATEGY DID NOT WORK. *TODAY IS NOVEMBER 1ST. THE 100TH BATCH OF NIRAHARA SAMYAMA STARTS. BLESSINGS TO NITHYA PRANAVANANDA. ANYONE WHO COMPLETES THIS BATCH NIRAHARA SAMYAMA WILL RECEIVE A SPECIAL GIFT AFTER THEY COMPLETE IT. *ALL THE THOUGHT CURRENTS I SHARED TODAY: 1) YOUR PAST CAN BE CHANGED, 2) “NOW” IS NOT TIME, IT IS POWERFUL COGNITION. 3) VISUALISE “NOW” AS GOLDEN BLANKET, PUT IT ON YOUR HEAD AND SHUT DOWN INTO PARAMASHIVA, 4) LIFE CANNOT BE EQUATED TO MONEY, 5) LIFE IS LIVING, 6) PEOPLE ARE GOOD, ALL THESE POWERFUL COGNITIONS FORM THE ROOT BASE OF LOVE, EXTREME LOVE. *EVEN NOW I REMEMBER, ONE OF MY GURUS WHO USED TO TEACH ADISHAIVA TO ME, PANDURANGANAR, THOSE DAYS HE USED TO BE HIGHLY EDUCATED. HE WAS IN A HIGHER POSITION THAN A TEACHER. HE WILL WALK FROM HOME TO TEMPLE. HE WAS VERY OLD. EVEN IN HIS OLD AGE, HE WILL WALK LIKE THAT. I USED TO ASK HIM, 'WHAT IF YOU FALL?'. HE SAID, 'OUR VILLAGE PEOPLE ARE VERY GOOD PEOPLE. THEY WILL LIFT ME AND DROP ME IN MY HOME AND COME BACK.' FEELING PEOPLE ARE GOOD IS ONE OF THE GREAT ASSET! *DO SOMETHING AND DO THIS PARIVRAJAKA YATRA. IT MAY TAKE 1.5 YEARS BUT IT WILL CHANGE THE WHOLE FOUNDATION YOU HAVE ABOUT LIFE. YOU WILL START FEELING PEOPLE ARE GOOD, LIFE IS GOOD. *THE PARIVRAJAKA YATRA PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HAVE DARSHAN OF ALL 12 JYOTIR LINGAS AND REACH KAILAASA. *ONCE YOUR BIOLOGY STARTS BELIEVING PEOPLE ARE GOOD, YOUR WHOLE LIFE WILL BECOME HEAVEN! ALL THESE TRUTHS TODAY ARE DIRECTLY INTERCONNECTED. WHEN YOU FEEL “NOW”, YOU WILL FEEL PEOPLE ARE GOOD. YOU WILL FEEL HEAVEN. YOU WILL FEEL KAILAASA. YOU WILL MANIFEST POWERS OF CHANGING YOUR PAST AS YOU WANT. *I KNOW MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE WHEN I SAY YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR FUTURE. BUT NOBODY WILL BELIEVE WHEN I SAY YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR PAST! IF YOU ARE READY TO BELIEVE, YOU ARE NOT IN CRAZINESS, YOU ARE IN MY FREQUENCY OF GRACY-NESS! WHOEVER WANTS TO COME TO MY GRACY-NESS IS MY DISCIPLE! PAST CAN BE CHANGED. *THIS PARIVRAJAKA YATRA 2020 IS REALLY GOING TO BE THE BIGGEST CONSCIOUS BREAKTHROUGH FOR ALL THE PEOPLE DOING THE PARIVRAJAKA YATRA AND FOR THE WORLD. ANYONE INTERESTED IN JOINING THE PARIVRAJAKA YATRA OR KAYAKALPA YOGA, CAN SIGN UP IN https://ift.tt/2PCGziq *PADAYATRA PEOPLE ARE GOING TO EXPERIENCE MIRACLES AND POWER MANIFESTATION EVERYDAY! ONLY THING, WOMEN CANNOT GO. I TRIED MY BEST THINKING HOW CAN I DENY THIS GREAT EXPERIENCE FOR WOMEN. BUT I SAW, IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. BUT IF YOU ARE IN MALE BODY, DON’T MISS THE PARIVRAJAKA YATRA. IF YOU ARE IN FEMALE BODY, DO KAYAKALPA YOGA. *PARIVRAJAKA YATRA IS SO EXCITING! WHEN I AM TALKING ABOUT IT EVERYDAY, EVEN I FEEL LIKE JOINING! *ALL PEOPLE GOING TO PARIVRAJAKA YATRA, START WALKING 10 KILOMETER EVERYDAY. YOU DON’T NEED TO CARRY ANY LUGGAGE. IT WILL BE GOING IN THE VEHICLE. NOTHING WILL BE A PROBLEM. ALL THE EMERGENCY MEDICAL CARE, DOCTORS WILL BE THERE. FULLY EQUIPPED! *ALL THE GRIHASTAS WILL BE JOINING IN KANYAKUMARI ON MY BIRTHDAY. ALL SANYASIS WILL START FROM ADI KAILASH AND WALK TO KANYAKUMARI TO PREPARE EVERYTHING NEEDED. IT WILL BE LIKE A TRIAL RUN. ONLY WHEN YOU GET INTO THE GROUND AND START WALKING YOU WILL KNOW WHAT ALL YOU NEED TO PREPARE, SO THAT THEY WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF DEVOTEES WHO COME IN THE PADAYATRA. *YOU CAN WEAR FOOTWEAR. ONLY WHEN YOU ENTER INTO SACRED TEMPLES OR SACRED GROUNDS LIKE SMASHANA, YOU CANNOT WEAR FOOTWEAR. ALL REGULAR WALKING, YOU CAN WEAR FOOTWEAR. *I WANT YOU TO EXPERIENCE THE REAL PARIVRAJAKA, MANIFEST POWERS AND ENLIGHTENMENT. PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD ALSO CAN JOIN. YOU NEED TO GET A VALID VISA, THAT’S ALL. YOU NEED TO DECLARE CLEARLY YOU ARE DOING PARIVRAJAKA YATRA AND GET THE RIGHT VISA FOR THAT PURPOSE. THEN YOU ARE WELCOME. WE ARE A COMPLETE LAW ABIDING ORGANIZATION. THE PARIVRAJAKA IS GOING TO COVER 3 COUNTRIES - CHINA, INDIA, NEPAL. 12 JYOTIRLINGAS IN INDIA AND THROUGH NEPAL YOU WILL BE REACHING CHINA. *I HAVE SEEN PEOPLE HAVE SO MUCH ANGER TOWARDS SANGA. IF YOU ARE LISTENING TO WHAT I AM TALKING, IT IS BECAUSE OF SANGA. SANGA BROUGHT THIS MIKE, SANGA BROUGHT THIS TELEVISING SYSTEM. DROP THIS INCOMPLETION TOWARDS SANGA. I HAVE SEEN PEOPLE WHO ARE EATING IN THE CAMPUS, BUT HAVING ANGER TOWARDS ADMINISTRATION. THEY TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED. DROP ANGER TOWARDS SANGA. YOU WILL GET THE SUPPORT. *ESSENCE OF TODAY’S SATSANG: TO MANIFEST THE POWER OF KALA, EITHER DO KAYAKALPA YOGA OR DO KAILASH PARIVRAJAKA YATRA, OR MAKE YOUR BEDROOM INTO KAILAASA. PUT THIS AS ESSENCE OF TODAY'S SATSANG AND SHARE, ENRICH THE WHOLE WORLD. *TO REGISTER FOR NIRAHARA SAMYAMA, LOG ON TO https://bfoodfree.org/ *SHARE AND CELEBRATE, ENRICH AND ENJOY https://ift.tt/2N24bem

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orbgamers · 5 years

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With today’s release of Season 1 – Wild Frontier – on Apex Legends, Respawn also provided a laundry list of patch notes and fixes. Wild Frontier launched this morning around 10am Pacific Time causing all Apex Legends players to push an update through before jumping into the Frontier.

Season 1: Wild Frontier Patch Notes

Added Battle Pass tab to Lobby in-game.

Cost 950 Apex Coins for standard Battle Pass

Cost 2800 Apex Coins for Battle Pass Bundle

Unlocks 25 Levels for Season 1

Earn over 100 unique Wild Frontier Season 1 items as you level up.

Updated dashboard images for Season 1 on PC and XBOX

PS4 is in the works.

Updated Main Menu with new Season 1 art.

Updated the Lobby Visuals for Season 1.

Updated Apex Legends site FAQ with info on Battle Passes.

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Season 1: Wild Frontier Free Rewards

Like we stated in our earlier coverage, Battle Pass buyers and those who might not want to throw money at Apex Legends will still receive some sweet free loot for playing in the Wild Frontier.

1 Wild Frontier Legend Skin

5 Apex Packs

18 Wild Frontier themed Stat Trackers

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New Legend: Octane

Check out Octane and what he’s all about in our earlier post.

Stability & Performance Updates

All Platforms

Optimized skydiving to improve overall server performance.

Fixed bug where sometimes the client could crash when opening Apex Packs one right after the other.

All Consoles

Added Report a Player for abuse on Consoles

You can report players from the spectator view after dying or when looking at your team’s Banner Cards in the Squad tab.

Improved stability for various GPU configurations.

Capped PC FPS to 300 to balance improving stability, but still letting you folks enjoy those sweet frames.

Introducing better reporting when Apex crashes on PC without error message.

We really want to fix any crashes people happen to get on PC. We also respect our player’s privacy. So, if the PC game crashes, it will write “apex_crash.txt” to your “Documents” folder. This tiny file is plain text, so you can easily see for yourself that it has no personal information. If you choose to share this file with us, it will tell us whether the crash was in Apex or in third-party software. If the crash was in Apex, our programmers can use the information to find and fix it. If you experience a crash, please include this file when you report.

We protect your personal information.

You can easily see everything in the file yourself; we have no secrets.

You’re in control of whether we ever see this file.

Added Report a Player feature for cheating and abuse on PC.

Players can now report cheaters they encounter in-game and it’ll be sent directly to Easy Anti-Cheat. You can do this from either the spectator view after dying or when looking at your team’s Banner Cards in the Squad tab.

We have lots of other work going on behind the scenes and this remains high priority for us. We won’t be able to share many specifics of what we’re doing but we’ll strive to provide updates on progress for the things we can talk about.

499,937 accounts have been banned for cheating.

Speed hacking: We do currently have anti-speed hacking in Apex Legends, but it’s not being as effective as intended due to a bug that we believe we’ve identified and will be addressing in our next server update. Will provide ETA for it when I have it. Working to get it out ASAP.

PS4

Addressed issue with PS4 crashes due to running out of memory.

Quality of Life

Added “Swap LT/RT & LB/RB” / “Swap L1/R1 & L2/R2”) toggle in the Controller Button Layout settings.

Lets you quickly swap what your bumpers & triggers are set to, with any controller preset.

Added “Sprint View Shake” setting under the Video tab.

Setting this to “Minimal” can be especially helpful for players susceptible to motion sickness.

Added “Trigger Deadzones” setting under the Controller tab.

Customize how far you want to pull the triggers before they register.

Added “Advanced Look Controls” settings submenu under the Controller tab.

Fine-tune specific aspects of the look controls for a custom feel; such as Deadzone, Response Curve, Target Compensation (aim assist), and more.

When you relinquish the Jumpmaster position to another player you will now hear your Legend’s VO line in addition to the new Jumpmaster. The third player won’t hear it though.

Improved mantling from a grapple point.

Pathfinder can now grapple ziplines.

We’ve added D-pad navigation as a convenience in most of the menus. Our hope is this will speed up browsing and improve accessibility.

UI improvements to the KO Shield

Shield bar drains to indicate the remaining health of the shield.

When you have a Gold KO Shield and are down, we’ve added an effect to the label that reminds you that you can self revive.

We saw that the Ring indicator that appears when players are viewing the whole map wasn’t accurately showing the player’s position so we fixed that.

Character animations while taking damage now accurately reflect the direction the damage is coming from.

Fixed a bug where occluded sounds would sometimes sound unoccluded.

Patched up some issues with missing geo on Kings Canyon and fixed a few spots where players were getting stuck.

Fixed a script error that could happen when removing attachments on holstered weapons.

General polish to game UI fixing some grammar issues, improved navigation, and composition of elements.

Fixed PC users constantly switching weapons while scrolling through items in a Death Box.

Fixed issue where we were seeing server stability issues sometimes caused by purchasing items while matchmaking.

Fixed script errors that could occur during the skydive.

Reduced skybox fog.

Adjusted the code for Supply Bins so they are less likely to kill players. If you do still get killed by one please let us know!

Made it so push-to-talk is no longer on when a chat box is active.

LT/RT no longer switches between players in spectator mode while the map is open.

Updated the minimap to more accurately reflect the geo and points of interest on the main map.

Adding sound FX to the UI for the key binding menu.

Fixed issue where a player’s name would not show up when they send a message that reached the character limit.

Fixed bug where sometimes the Champion screen resolution would be stretched in widescreen resolutions.

Fixed audio bug where sometimes the zipline sounds FX would keep playing after disembarking.

Added accessibility option to modify the subtitle size.

Improvements / fixes for color blind players:

Added better color blind support for Blood Hound’s Threat Vision.

Colorblind colors per setting are now displayed in the settings menu.

Colorblind settings moved from Video Settings to Gameplay->Accessibility. They are now applied on the fly.

Enemy pings now use proper enemy color instead of only using red.

Audio:

Turned down volume when Wraith activates a portal.

Turned down the end sounds on the Peacekeeper charged shot.

Turned down the draw/holster sound slightly for thermite grenades.

Legend Balance & Hitbox Adjustments

Adjusted hitboxes for Gibraltar, Caustic, and Pathfinder to better align with their shapes.

Caustic

Reduced Cooldown of Traps from 30 to 25 Seconds

Increased radius and proximity radius by about 10%

Removed a 1 second delay on the smoke dealing damage to players.

Reduced cooldown of Gas Grenade from 2:30 to 2:00 seconds.

Pathfinder

Insider Knowledge

Increased the number of beacons in the world from 10 to 12.

Bangalor

Double Time

Reduced move speed bonus from 40% to 30%

Gibraltar

Defensive Bombardment

Fixed a bug where your teammates wouldn’t be affected by Shell Shock. This was meant to be the same as Bangalore’s ultimate.

Weapons

Fixed players being able to shortcut weapon swap by changing stance

Fixed players being able to shortcut Peacekeeper rechamber sequence

Fixed inaccurate auto ranging fullscreen (sniper) optics when base FOV is not set to default

Spitfire: fixed ADS view on Legendaries partially obscured by custom geo. (The Continuum, The Heavy Construct)

Fixed ADS view being blocked when using Caustic legendary skins with certain weapon/ optic combos

Digital threat optics: threat highlights are now more visible (slightly brighter; no longer affected by TSAA)

Fixed bug where Devotion audio sometimes wouldn’t accurately reflect rate of fire.

Additional Bug Fixes

Fixed rare issue where a player could get stuck on the drop ship and be invulnerable.

Patched up the hole we found in Gibraltar’s shield.

Fixed issue where Lifeline’s revive shield wouldn’t stay put while on a moving platform.

Fixed issue where sometimes players would get stuck in map geometry while skydiving from the dropship or Jump Towers.

Fixed bug where players could still shoot even after being downed.

Fixed bug where occasionally Lifeline’s D.O.C. drone would stay connected to a player but not heal them.

Limited the amount of Lifeline’s D.O.C. drones that can connect to a player to 2.

Fixed Pathfinder’s zipline not deploying when jumping.

Fixed a bug with the HUD where sometimes the Heal Bar would stay up if the heal was cancelled right after it was started.

Fixed a bug where sometimes the audio would continue to play sound FX for the Knockdown Shield even after it’s been destroyed.

Fixed issue where sometimes players could get disconnected when unplugging their controller during a game.

Fixed the exploit where you could do infinite wallclimb using Pathfinder’s Grapple.

Fixed bug where sometimes you couldn’t fire the Peacekeeper after riding a zip line.

Fixed issue where sometimes the skybox fog would not appear while spectating after you died.

Fixed bug where Banner Cards would show through walls occasionally when viewed through a very high FOV.

Fixed some odd light flickering that was happening on the balloon flags attached to Jump Towers.

Fixed bug where sometimes a player’s Banner Card would not show up after character select.

Razer Chroma Support

Apex Legends will now detect Razer Chroma peripherals and supported devices will now play animated colors that react to things you do in the game. Here are some examples:

Red lights during banner transitions.

While skydiving colors will tune to the color of your smoke trail.

Picking up loot.

Opening Apex Packs.

Firing and taking damage.

Colors that flash when your Ultimate is ready.

And more!

Apex Legends is free to play for PlayStation 4, Xbox One and Origin on PC. Apex Legends offers in-game cosmetic purchases that do not increase your chances of winning, only increase your chances of looking like a BAMF.

Apex: Season 1 Patch Notes with Platform Breakdown With today's release of Season 1 - Wild Frontier - on Apex Legends, Respawn also provided a laundry list of patch notes and fixes.

#apex legends #battle royle #gamers #gaming #octane #patch notes

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mylovingbouquetearthquakewo-blog · 6 years

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