listen the movie introduces an annoying leftie teenager as a ridiculous strawman for the audience to resent, has her make all the valid criticisms of the franchise mattel can still slightly defend, and then makes barbie cry about it. why do you think it did that. why do you think that character existed. why do you think she quietly faded into a compliant, brand-supportive happy face in a pink dress

Holistic Analysis of ‘Volver’ by Pedro Almodovar

tw// mentions of child abuse, pedophilia, death, blood, and sharp objects

Conduct a holistic of the film Volver by Pedro Almodovar. Be sure to integrate terminologies and concepts from course discussions on both photography and film in your analysis. Cite all borrowed materials.

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‘Volver’ by Pedro Almodovar is a 2006 Spanish film set in Madrid, Spain as well as a small village in the La Mancha Region. Upon further research, it’s noted that La Mancha is where Almodovar grew up, which indicates that this film highlights the essence of his childhood.  

‘Volver’, which is Spanish for ‘to come back,’ beautifully captures the importance of women’s lives and what comes of life after death. The film is compacted with stunning architecture, camera angles, color, music and sounds, and visual images that all fit into the film’s overall message. 

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Composition: I have noticed throughout the film that Almodovar chose interesting and compelling camera angles for different situations. When people walk through big doors-- mostly with the windy village in La Mancha-- the camera would be at a one-point perspective. The center of the door would be the ‘vanishing point’ of the frame so that you’ll see the rest of the hallway that the characters will soon walk down. When Almodovar films the characters going up a flight of spiral staircases, he puts the camera on the ground facing upwards in the center to show the movement of the characters. When his characters are going down the set of stairs, he changes the angle so that the camera is at the top facing downwards. When characters are walking down or off onto the street, the camera tends to follow their movement in a single shot; either in front of the characters for more intense scenes and dialogue or on the side of the characters in a distance shot to move along the plot. I also noticed his choice of car scenes. He would usually show the red car driving down a dirt road of wind turbines in a distance shot. If there were people in the back seat, the camera would shoot from the front of the car, and if it’s only one person or two they would shoot their side profiles. I also noticed that certain frames had significance to the plot as an angle would be used for multiple shots; one with Raimunda cleaning the knife before and after the murder of Paco, and when Raimunda was standing by the tree by the river after burying Paco then later that same angle was used when Raimunda and Paula visited the same spot. 

Visual Cues:

Color- The main color of the film-- as well as any Almodovar film-- is red. The color symbolizes death as well as womanhood-- the passion, empowerment, and life that goes with women. The film was full of bright colors, which is a usual touch that the director loves to add to all of his films. Almodovar chooses his color precisely by the setting, as he stated in his interview with Jennifer Merin about the film. He chose to use a lot of black and white because of the location and social environment of La Mancha. Those colors, he says, aren’t ones he typically uses but were the best choice for those certain parts of the film.  

Gestalt Laws: 

Proximity- The closeness between Raimunda and Paula throughout the entirety of the film shows that the two are related in some way. The fact that the two characters are inseparable and are seen living together, an individual can assume that they’re mother and daughter. Paco getting constantly pushed away and being distant from the characters symbolizes the dysfunctional relationship he had with Raimunda and Paula. When Sole ran away screaming from Irene upon first meeting her, one can assume that the relationship is unwanted by the forcible distance. However, we see about 20 minutes later, Sole allows Irene into her home and ends up sleeping next to her in the night. The sudden closeness indicates the love and comfortableness between a parent and child. 

Common fate- The people of Madrid and La Mancha always kissed each other’s cheeks as a form of greeting. Raimunda and Irene both had their partners murdered for doing something taboo. Irene’s husband was having an affair and sexually abused and impregnated their daughter Raimunda. Raimunda’s partner, Paco, was stabbed by her daughter Paula for sexually assaulting her. Another common fate is that Raimunda and Paula were both sexually assaulted by their fathers/father figures. 

Semiotic Signs and codes: 

Indexical Sign- The abundance of people are dressed in minimal amounts of clothing which indicates that the weather must be quite warm. When the characters are in the La Mancha village, the character’s clothes and hair move rapidly indicating that the area has harsh winds.  

Symbolic Sign- The use of red in the women’s clothing, on and in buildings, on the furniture, vehicles, and close-ups on vegetables and blood certainly doesn’t go unnoticed. However, an individual who notices may not understand its significance. Therefore, the color red is an example of a symbolic sign in this film. It emphasizes the meaning of life after death and the importance of womanhood. Another example of a symbolic sign is the song sung by Raimunda within the film. The title of the music is the same as the movie’s title, ‘Volver’. The song is about the need for one’s life to come back, especially a mother’s, in order to move forward in life, which is an addition to the film’s message. One final example is at the very beginning of the film. The women of the La Mancha village are seen cleaning off the gravestones in the local cemetery. The way the women talked with one another made the audience indicated that this was a common practice. This scene set up the meaning of life beyond death and womanhood because only women were standing over the dead. 

Purpose of the Work: A main purpose of the work was for the director to pay homage to his childhood as the movie filmed in the place he grew up and the characters were similar to the women who raised him. 

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Personal Perspective: 

As usual, when films start, I need to take some time to get into it. This is the same with any kind of story, even with books. But, unlike books, I can stay focused and entertained by good cinematography. The Spanish film ‘Volver’ did just that for me. The stunning single-point shots and frames kept me wanting more. I completely adored the close-up shots of characters doing simple tasks. For example, when Raimunda was putting away Tupperware, washing the dishes, and grabbing paper towels-- just to name a few-- I absolutely adored how they were shot. When the plot began to thicken, however, it was more than just the cinematography that left me breathless. The acting was incredible that I was convinced I was watching someone else’s life right before my eyes. There were many surprises that I didn’t see coming that left me on the edge of my seat the whole time. When the film ended, I had felt satisfied and unsatisfied. I wanted to know more of the story, it felt like the conclusion was only starting when the credits began to roll. But, at the same time, I was okay with how it ended because I can make up my own conclusions about how I feel the story will continue. I really enjoyed how the visuals throughout the whole film were chosen carefully to match the overall message.  

Cultural Perspective: 

Almodovar uses a lot of past and present aspects of the Spanish culture in his films. As he grew up in Spain, it’s something he knows well and feels most inspired from. The director is obsessed with the media of Spanish culture-- such as telenovelas, magazine stories, infomercials. Almodovar adds Spanish media to his films quite often. For example, in ‘Volver,’ he uses the idea of a film-within-a-film aspect near the end of the movie. Another example is when Paco was watching soccer on the television in the earlier shots of the film. Almodovar claims that the brightness and intenseness of the colors match the drama that Spanish films have, which is why he tends to this culture more to satisfy his creativity. A quote from a 2006 interview mentioned in an Amuse article by Colin Crummy, Almodovar states, “It is something very Spanish but it is hardly used in Spain. It corresponds both to my personality and the baroque behaviour of my fictional characters. Explosions of colour fit in very well with high drama.”

Critical Perspective: 

There were multiple mentions of child abuse and pedophilia within the film. One example is that Raimunda’s father abused and raped her as a child that led to the birth of Paula. Near the beginning of the film, there was an up-close shot of the fourteen-year-old girl’s private spot indicating that Paco-- the supposed father-- was looking at it, and he was creeping on her while she got undressed in her room. After a few scenes roll by, we see Paula waiting for her mother at the bus stop in the rain looking petrified. After Paula didn’t give a clear answer, we see Raimunda finding Paco’s dead body on the kitchen floor. Paula began to explain the whole event of the assault that led to her stabbing him in detail. The aspect of child abuse and murder is enough to provoke a strong response from the viewer. The whole event is extremely traumatizing that will make people talk about it afterward. A major theme throughout this film is death and the afterlife. The superstitions of spirits visiting you before you pass on overflowed the village. Irene was thought to have passed in a fire four years prior to the story’s timeline. So, when she had visited her sister who was dying, many suspected that it was her spirit helping the living pass on. The idea of death and the afterlife is a difficult topic to bring up in conversation, so it wouldn’t be unusual if someone had felt uncomfortable. There were many ways death occurred within the film; stabbing, old-age, a house fire(that was intentional), and cancer. Each death-- and the reason it happened-- can provoke an emotional response from the audience. The running themes and cultures of the film will leave anyone’s mind wondering: what’s next?

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References

Merin, Jennifer. “Jennifer Merin Interviews Pedro Almodovar Re ‘Volver.’” ALLIANCE OF WOMEN FILM JOURNALISTS, 13 Dec. 2006, awfj.org/blog/2006/12/13/jennifer-merin-interviews-pedro-almodovar-re-volver/.  

Team, Amuse. “A Musical Tour of Ibiza.” Amuse, 24 Mar. 2021, amuse.vice.com/en_us/article/bvg3p4/a-musical-tour-of-ibiza. 

Lester, Paul Martin. Visual Communication: Images with Messages. Sixth ed., Michael Rosenberg, 2014.

Almodóvar, Pedro, Agustin Almodóvar, Esther García, Penélope Cruz, Carmen Maura, Lola Dueñas, Blanca Portillo, Yohana Cobo, Chus Lampreave, Antonio . Torre, Carlos Blanco, José L. Alcaine, and Alberto Iglesias. Volver. , 2006.

So I’ve just watched the final episode ever of the 100 and wow do I have issues. Where to begin...

Let’s start with another series finale. Now I’ve always been a supporter for the most part of the Lost finale. Was it what I expected? No. Was it what I wanted? Not really. Did it answer any number of the plot questions it brought up over 6 seasons? Not particularly. But I could accept that sort of ending with them meeting up in the sideways world to crossover together. Was it weird? Sure. But Lost was always a show that was sort of based in the mysterious and the mystical. There was always talk of fate and questioning what the island was etc. I could buy that kind of ending because it felt somewhat rooted in the fabric of the show.

This...didn’t. 

To me, the 100 has always been a show that has felt mostly grounded in reality. Everything always had an explanation in science, even if it was somewhat futuristic science. Have there been cult like societies prior to the Second Dawn this season? Yes. We had the grounders worshipping the spirit of the commander but that was proven to be a computer chip. We had the City of Light but that was proven to be a virtual world. Even as much as I loathed the Sanctum cult society, that was still all based on the same technology. This isn’t. This transcending into balls of light and joining the collective consciousness of mysterious unexplained beings resembles nothing of the prior science used in this show. It really came out of nowhere in the final season, wrapped up with a cult of mostly unnamed extras and other annoying characters who in no way should have been right about anything, let alone the thing that ended the whole show. 

And sure they tried to tie it up with Becca and the Second Dawn and the prequel pilot and make it seem like it made sense for the whole show but did it? Did it really? Did it make sense for the show that existed in the first five seasons before they jetted off to a new planet and started world hopping through swirling green portals of light? Because I don’t think it did. Those first five seasons represented a show grounded in reality and this ending didn’t fit that. 

Do I appreciate somewhat that the final message was that humanity could change? Could do better? Led by Raven and Octavia? Sure. That has merit but that doesn’t change the fact that the situation was nonsensical. Do I appreciate at least most of my favorite characters all ending up living together finally free of all of the bullshit to have peace? I mean...sure, that was a nice sentiment. But at what cost? And what about the people that didn’t get to be there?

What was the point of Emori dying and still transcending but not being there with them at the end? What purpose did her death serve? I didn’t serve to push the plot forward. It didn’t serve to make Murphy do anything other than just hide in his mind with her. So why bother? Why take her away from him at the last minute and force him to live out his life without her? It doesn’t make any sense. (Edited to add that I’ve now seen a better image and seen that Emori was there at the end. So...good. But my point still stands that killing her in the first place was incredibly pointless and did nothing for anyone other than occupy them for a little while. So still...what was the point?)

And then there’s still the Bellamy of it all. It drove me insane again how they continued to invoke his name and try and make meaning of his incredibly pointless death. But really? What was the purpose? Again, he was killed for a sketchbook that Clarke didn’t take, to save Madi who ended up in Cadogan’s clutches anyway and basically died anyway. And for what? Because he couldn’t film a few extra scenes? Really? He should have been there with them at the end. He deserved to have peace with the rest of his friends/family. 

And he was right apparently anyway. About the nonsensical transcendence. So really, what was he killed for? He should have had Gabriel’s death at the very least. I just can’t ever forgive the show for what they did to him. 

Not to mention having the magical mystical being showing up as Lexa for Clarke, which just sort of felt like a really petty move. I mean, yes, Lexa was very important to Clarke. She loved her. But they spent like a season together. Not seven. It’s just silly. 

I just don’t even know what to say about any of it really. The whole thing left me feeling incredibly unsatisfied. Just the fact that this whole season has been a complete mess. They spent so much time on nothing, so much time stalling the plot with bottle episode after bottle episode to explain what each character was doing during such and such amount of time, only to rush all of this in the last episode so that it could barely have any meaning anyway even if I was going to get on board with this transcendence nonsense. They spent so much time this season focusing on random factions of extras with leaders we didn’t know or care about. I feel like we spent too much time with Cadogan and his cult friends but also all of that felt so out of place and random and dull, that I couldn’t even begin to care about it even though it was apparently the answer to everything. 

We spent ENTIRELY too much time on everyone’s favorite plot device, Sheidheda, who should have died like 75 times throughout the season but had to show up for one last plot point before I guess Indra finally obliterated him? But who even cared anymore? I mean, he was still pointless from the start because he was literally invented last season just to cause trouble for Madi. That history didn’t exist. It was just retconned nonsense. 

And Levitt. I mean...he did not deserve to be there with them at the end. I mean, come on. First of all, he is no Lincoln. O, have some self respect. I know they wanted me to care about him and I was probably supposed to root for him and Octavia but I would have been happier with her ending up with Diyoza or alone. It was just silly. I get that they needed an inside man to help them out at times but I never took to him. 

I guess at least all of the random extras I never cared about all transcended so our main characters never have to deal with them again. There’s...that? 

I’m just still so annoyed that the transcendence nonsense was real. But where did they even go? None of that random being that could show up as every dead character was even explained. Just...what a poor way to end your show. 

I don’t know what else to say. 

Seasons 1-5, may we meet again. Seasons 6-7, your fight is over, I shall now wipe you from my mind drive.  

It makes me angry that Padme become's a shell of herself in RotS she essentially is the woman in refrigerator trope being killed off for man pain I feel like Lucas was inconsistent with her portrayal and essentially changed around her character throughout the films to fit a certain narrative when it comes to Anakin not surprising considering she was so unimportant in the OT since she's never mentioned by name other than one scene which alludes to her but never goes into detail (continued)

about her other than Leia alluding to her otherwise she's a non entity she deserved better than this women seem to always be put into the weak passive role when it comes men essentially sacrificing any dignity they had for the sake of looking like some maternal martyr I mean she "lost the will to live" because of Anakin rather than staying alive for her kids. It's pathetic what she was reduced to especially knowing about that alternate scene on Mustafar. Again no respect for a female character. Ignore the messages I sent about Padme's character assassination (since you are more pro-Anakin and anything that further's his arc) I don't think we will be on the same page about her so it's probably best to delete them.

I debated just deleting them, but ultimately I decided to respond because this is a subject that has meaning to me and I’m not sure why you sent this to me, if you have read my posts on this previously.  Initially, I thought you sent it to me out of the blue, not having seen much of my previous posts, but your final message about furthering Anakin’s arc touches on something I said in my previous post: “I’ve never felt that anyone is obligated to like or appreciate the way the story was written for her, especially since I can’t hardly say for certain that this was the intention behind it, that it wasn’t just that she was written to further Anakin’s story, rather than because she herself had one at the end.” Possibly the wording is just a coincidence, I wouldn’t be totally surprised.  But I do take issue with the idea that I’m okay with Padme’s character “assassination” because I’m more pro-Anakin (as if I don’t routinely rake him over the coals for his bad decisions), rather than why I actually am okay with Padme’s story arc: As someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts pretty much all my life, who has worked really hard to get to a better place and not hate myself for being “weak” enough to have them in the first place, Padme’s story resonates with me, that someone who is as amazing as Padme Amidala could be going through something similar to me, that someone who was as strong as she was struggled against the isolation and depression and giving up on life, that meant a lot to me, even if she ultimately lost her battle, that someone who was that worthwhile struggled with the same things I do?  I took a lot from that. I have never demanded that anyone else find the same meaning in it, I’ve specifically said I can’t say that she wasn’t written to further Anakin’s story, so I get why people find it unsatisfying for themselves.  But I think there’s still room to allow for other people to interpret it differently and find meaning in it and I would think that sympathy for people who struggle with suicidal thoughts and how they can happen to literally anyone for any reason, because that’s how fucked up brain chemistry works, and equating that with weakness is sending a message to the people around us that are struggling with it.  That there’s a way to criticize the character arc without equating her “losing the will to live” (which is very obviously going to hit a lot notes with people struggling with suicidal ideation) with being weak and pathetic or that Padme’s too good for that kind of thing.  As if only bad, worthless people struggle with suicidal impulses. Our disagreement comes from why I find meaning in Padme’s story for herself, not because I’m more pro-Anakin and anything that furthers his arc.  And it’s fine that we disagree, you’re allowed to be angry at a character arc going in a way you find unsatisfying.  But my finding meaning in Padme’s story is for my own reasons and I will always defend that I have the right to that resonance for myself. (As a side note, I have never seen anything official about that “alternate scene on Mustafar”--assuming you’re referring to the concept art of her with the knife--other than the concept art and concept art means almost nothing, because the way the movies worked is that they threw tons of ideas out to see what might spark interest, not because that was a serious contender for how things were going to go, as far as I’ve seen from LF or GL themselves.)

Things I binged recently:

(Still coping with grief and depression, and one of the ways I tend to do that is just to distract myself from it all with Netflix. Here are some things I watched or tried watching. And my thoughts on them.)

The Office: Hated this show. Which was a shame because I really really enjoyed Parks and Rec, and these shows are supposed to be similar in style. Unfortunately this show is cynical, mean, and pessimistic. Characters get away with being outright racist, sexist, and antagonistic. Are unapologetic about their hurtful actions, and it sickens me. I was told season one was bad, and to watch season two, and I did. And even season two was awful. And I shouldn’t have to slog through three seasons of a show before it gets to a point where it’s like-able and good. If it takes you three seasons to figure it out, then no thanks. That’s a lot of show I have to suffer through before I MIGHT get to something I enjoy. I loved Parks and Rec because the characters loved and cared about each other, had genuine friendships, aspirations, and optimism. They strived to better the world around them, despite many mishaps and obstacles along the way. Parks and Rec was uplifting and sincere, where The Office is cynical and mean. 1/10.

A Whisker Away: Good, although I found the romance between the main character and her crush to be insincere and weak. I think the message of love would have been stronger if the best friend ended up being the one going to rescue her in the end. It never felt like the boy actually had feelings for her, just a begrudging respect and budding friendship. And it felt like his feelings were guilted and coerced by her actions to run away in the end. Like, “shit, I messed up and she ran away from home. Better tell her I love her, so she comes back home.” I understand that wasn’t what they were trying to do in this film, but it’s how the relationship came across. Manipulative. Especially since most of it was one sided, with her spying on his life as a cat. The love someone has for a pet does not equate romantic affection. Excellent movie for the heavy themes, Magic, and story, just think the overall message and relationships should have been overhauled, and worked around. I think the love the main character’s best friend had for her was more pure and powerful that the one-sided obsessive crush she had on the boy. 6/10.

Brand New Animal: Great show. Both my husband and I loved it. And were gushing about it even after we finished it. My only critique is all the heavy handed exposition. It felt clunky, ham-handed, and unnatural. I think with a few more episodes to the show they might have been able to parse out that exposition and find more natural ways to feed the audience that information, rather than huge unsolicited info dumps on the Main Character. Especially since half the time she didn’t earn that info, didn’t need it, didn’t ask, and just plain shouldn’t have been told some of it. Like why would you just spit classified secret information out to a character you know can’t keep secrets, or even follow directions?? Aside from that, solid characters, solid friendships, cute story, lots of interesting events, and just a blast from start to finish. Would highly recommend it to anyone. If you like Zootopia or Beastars, you’ll probably enjoy this too. 8/10.

Japan Sinks 2020: I. LOVED. THIS. SHOW. Omg, it had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. I just couldn’t stop watching. It’s in the disaster movie genre. Like Volcano, Dante’s Peak, or The Day After Tomorrow. That “what if this catastrophic natural disaster occurred,” and you follow this group of survivors as they work together to stay alive. And damnit if I wasn’t emotionally invested in every single one of them. I wanted to see them survive, and see how they made it through. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna be able to connect as strongly with their struggle given that it was animated rather than live action. But that didn’t matter at all. The tone is serious, and everything is given the weight and consideration it deserves. The animation style has a realistic tone to it, and the fact that it was an anime never got in the way of the journey and the emotions and the intensity for a second. I felt ALL of it. 10/10.

Unsolved Mysteries Netflix (documentary): I’m a slut for documentaries, all kinds of documentaries. So it’s no surprise I watched this. If you like unsatisfying true stories then this is it. A whole season of unsolved crimes. You get all the information wrapped up and handed to you in a neat little interesting package, and are left to just gnaw on it wondering who did it, and if they’ll ever solve it. One of the episodes isn’t a crime though, it’s a UFO story, which was a weird change of pace and tone from the rest of the season. Still creepy, but in a different way. I liked it, but it can be frustrating when you want answers. It gets an 7/10 because I wanted answers.

Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts: I could watch this show over and over again. My husband and I were foaming at the mouth waiting for season 2, and when it finally released, we gobbled it up and then watched it again right after. Excellent show. Post-Apocalyptic story, where the surface of the earth is overrun with mutant animals, and humans are living underground in “burrows.” The main character Kipo gets separated from her people and stranded on the surface, and has to find a way home. Along the way she makes some human friends, and mutant friends, and connects with people through music. And even learns some deep dark secrets about her Mom and Dad, and even herself. It’s a beautiful story emotionally, but also an exciting adventure. I love it. 10/10.

Eurovision, the Story of Fire Saga: Good. Which is saying something because I’m not a fan of Will Ferrell and he plays one of the main characters in this movie. I enjoyed the movie, and it made me laugh. Which was another surprise because I’m a cold-hearted bitch when it comes to comedy, and most things don’t make me laugh. So when a comedy works for me it’s a surprise. And this comedy worked in places. Not ALL places, but it did get some chuckles and a laugh or two. And I did enjoy the story it told. The movie is about two friends who are musicians/singers that enter singing/performance contest, and the drama that ensues along the way. It’s a cute underdog story. 6/10.

Floor is Lava (game show): The name of the game says it all. Groups of three contestants must navigate rooms using only furniture, and chandeliers, and shit. They can’t touch the floor because the room is flooded with hot orange koolaid. And if they fall in they “die.” Prepare to watch grown ass adults hop, hobble, and flop over furniture, tables, and other obstacles, as they try to get from one side of a room to the other side without falling into the koolaid. It’s exciting, and fun, and although the commentary is awful, the struggle of the contestants more than makes up for it. 8/10.

Splice: Never seen this movie before. Thought I’d give it a try since it just showed up on Netflix. It’s... odd. I’m having a hard time deciding if I loved or hated it. It’s an interesting look into what could happen should we start experimenting with human DNA and other sentient life. And how that could go all kinds of wrong very quickly. I like horror, and this delivered on some of the horror elements, but mostly it just jabs you over and over again with moral dilemmas. And you end up feeling like all the characters in the movie majorly failed each other, and they were all the bad guys. I’ll give it a 5/10 because I’m conflicted whether I liked it or not. But it was worth seeing once.

Ju-on Origins: I’ve seen a couple of the Grudge movies, which is the Americanized version of this horror franchise. But I’ve never seen any of the Ju-on movies. So it was a new experience watching this. It’s non-linear storytelling can be challenging to follow, but the stories it’s telling are fascinating and unnerving. I had to watch it with the shitty English dub because my attention span is too short for subtitles. And this wasn’t just a single movie, it’s a show with an entire first season. Episode 4 was definitely where shit hit the fan, and things got really scary. But I like slow burn horror, so I enjoyed the build up of the previous three episodes, and how they just carefully built on the apprehension and dread until things really got scary in the fourth episode. After that the rest of the show is just a roller coaster of highs and lulls, that leave you wondering where the series is gonna go in season 2. Definitely my favorite installment in the Grudge/Ju-on franchise that I’ve seen so far. And it’s got me curious to check out the other Ju-on movies. 8/10.

The Girl with all the Gifts: I’m a sucker for zombie movies and this was a unique and refreshing take on them. The idea is that the zombie outbreak is caused by a strain of the Cordyceps fungus that ends up infecting humans. And the surviving humans are using children born from infected mothers to try and find a cure for the outbreak. The children are like this functioning hybrid of fungus and human, and not completely lost like the humans who were directly infected. The movie explores the moral dilemma of how the children are treated, and the further of humans. I enjoyed the movie, and the concepts. It was a great addition to the zombie franchise. Would recommend. 7/10.

Abducted in Plain Sight (documentary): another crime documentary. This one dealt with a kidnapper/pedophile who managed to kidnap the same girl twice, and the lasting trauma his actions had on that girl. It was sad, and heartbreaking, and horrifying. If you like crime documentaries and have a steely stomach, check this one out. I won’t give it a rating because it deals with real life stuff and children and it’s not a show.

Evil Genius (documentary): one last documentary on this list. I was on a crime documentary spree. Usually I like animal documentaries. This one was about a couple who masterminded a bank heist by attaching a collar bomb to a man and sending him on a wild goose chase scavenger hunt. There’s also a case about a corpse in a freezer, and how the two cases are connected. It’s absolutely bonkers. Just wow. It’s four episodes long, a mini-series, but just an interesting experience. I mostly watched/listened to this while slowly chipping away at a commission. If you like crime documentaries it’s worth a watch. I give this one a 6/10 because I won’t be watching it a second time, but also because I think the format and how they explained everything was kinda long winded.

My Thoughts On “A Whisker Away”

Warnings: spoilers, mentions of suicide/self-harm

A Whisker Away could have done better in a lot of areas, but it’s by no means bad, and the plot and overall concept make up for most of its shortcomings. Clearly Netflix is working hard to emulate the Ghibli formula, and while their attempts have all been misses so far, they have been gradually getting closer—and this is a big step away from the disaster that was Ni No Kuni. Better script writers and more time spent on animation is my only suggestion—scripts have always been a struggle for Netflix, which goes hand in hand with my second suggestion, because they’re focused on churning out new content.

Still, I think this would be a great film to show to children and young adults struggling with suicidal thoughts. Having this omen of destruction in the form of a cat, representing Miyo’s constant self-doubt, was actually very poignant. The first time we see Miyo’s mask fall and we see her real, bitter feelings is when she sees the first cat in the movie, which perfectly reflects her self-hatred. The way the Mask Seller speaks is clearly meant to represent Miyo’s inner dialogue, as she is hesitant to protest to them at first, but when they suggest going full-cat, she adamantly tells the voice to shut up.

While a lot of the other messages were sort of thrown in our face, I appreciate that some of the best symbolic ones were kept subtle rather than exposition-dumped on us. For example, Hinode only turning into a cat via his hands keys us into the fact that the cat transformation is dependent on self-hatred. Hinode feels like he’ll never be good enough to become a potter, thus he loses his hands. I actually like that they chose to go this route, as ridiculous as it was, because it subtly suggested to the audience that “becoming a cat” (aka suicide) isn’t a choice anyone can make just based on difficult circumstances.

I feel like the creep-factor on the Mask Seller could have been played up more, but I guess presenting him as this eccentric character that almost seemed to have the main character’s best interest at heart works better for the metaphor. He seemed mostly unassuming and non-threatening, and weird as he was, he made a convincing case. His concept as a villain is actually very cool. This idea that he steals the lives of those who don’t want them anymore, combined with his drug-dealer archetype is very unique. He preys on people who already hate themselves, luring them into thinking their lives aren’t worth living anymore, giving them a taste of freedom through his cat mask (aka self-harm). Once they’re hooked, he convinces them to make the full leap, whether they truly want it or not. The sort of momentary, but ultimately unsatisfying relief of self-harm to a suicidal person is captured very eloquently in the cat transformation metaphor. It’s actually quite dark how Miyo is so adamant about not transforming at first, but in a matter of days, after one particularly traumatic incident, she’s fully committed.

The connection between the feline and depression metaphor got a little messy near the end, but still nonetheless made an emotional impact. The cat believed that by taking someone else’s face, they could show their owner the love they deserved. Kinako showed a clear disdain for Miyo for not showing Kaoru the love she deserved, and sort of acted as this physical representation of Miyo feeling like she didn’t truly belong in the family. Of course, the owner loves them as a cat, not as someone else. The whole cat stealing human lives thing doesn’t play much into a bigger picture past just representing how as much as it may seem like it, becoming someone else or trying to take someone else’s spot won’t make us truly happy. And I think Kinako realizing it’s better to live out her own short life making Kaoru happy was a short but very sweet subplot.

The scene that really touched me most, surprisingly, was just seeing how Yori so persistently apologized to Miyo as she ran away from her. It so perfectly encapsulated the guilt that friends and family of suicidal ones feel when they see this person they care about clearly suffering. Yori clearly had Miyo’s best interests at heart and genuinely stayed by Miyo’s side through all of her troubles, and is a great example of how to be a supportive friend to a depressed person. She never coddled or pitied Miyo, but she was clearly worried when Miyo started acting “off”, and even then tried to stick by Miyo’s side and be supportive.

Muge is definitely eccentric and painfully cringy, but that in itself makes her a realistic teenage girl character (and a neurotypical adult male doesn’t get to paint her valid character flaws as failings on her or the writers’ part damn it.) Her feelings and thoughts start off as seeming very weird and childish, but gradually you come to understand her reasoning the more the movie goes on. Having been abandoned at such a young age, she pushes people away deep down in her heart, thinking that no one can ever truly love her. She was deeply damaged and never felt like she could really trust anyone again, viewing everyone as either selfish or irrelevant (represented by scarecrows.) This at first seems to just symbolize how other people seemingly don’t matter when she sees the guy she likes, but when she transforms her own parents into scarecrows, we see it represents her pushing people away from her. She tries to act like she doesn’t need other people to love her, when deep down, she really wants proof that someone can truly love her despite her eccentricities, as seen in her obsession to make Hinode confess to her.

One of the points in this metaphor I felt was lacking was that they didn’t really address how Miyo’s psychological reliance on Hinode as this perfect guy that would solve all her problems because of his apparent loyalty was sort of toxic? They definitely established it as over idealized and somewhat exaggerated with that whole Cinderella-transformation scene, where you can clearly see that she believes Hinode loving her will solve all of her problems. In the end I suppose it’s countered with her finally being accepted by Hinode and her accepting him in return, and her realizing that’s all she really wanted.

I did appreciate the background noise of Hinode telling the Mask Seller that it wasn’t Miyo’s fault her life was difficult, because it really puts things into perspective. The Mask Seller took advantage of Miyo’s trauma, just as it isn’t the fault of a suicidal person when their negative thoughts overtake them. That’s why we first see the mask seller when Miyo is at one of her lowest points—when she’s with her mother, attempting but failing to overcome her feelings of abandonment as she first begins to shut her out; and having just moved in with her stepmother, clearly overwhelmed with emotional burdens. I also thought it was interesting that they explained her not transforming back as deep down not wanting to be a human again. She still didn’t believe herself as being capable of being loved, and it took her realizing that she needs to love the people in her life first before she can truly start to heal. And it’s true, there’s a difference between not wanting to die and actually overcoming your depression.

In any case, Miyo’s thought process was almost painfully accurate. The way she lashed out at her parents for wanting her to stop smiling if she didn’t feel like it was something I definitely went through. It’s hard to explain, and definitely irrational, but in the most cold and logical sense, being told to give up your coping mechanism by the people who you feel are causing you to use said coping mechanism feels really offensive in the moment. She was using up so much emotional energy acting like she was okay for her parents, so she felt like it wasn’t their right to ask if she was okay. 

It was a really brief, but sad moment when we saw the difference between how she perceived her favorite meal at her house as opposed to when Hinode gave it to her. It wasn’t meant to show that her feelings of depression were circumstantial so much as it highlighted her abnormal mood swings, as well as how the root of her depression, so to speak, stemmed from her home life. And while I don’t agree entirely with how their relationship played out, I cannot agree more that seeing a person you care about suffering from self-hatred snaps you out of your own dark thoughts so quick. Miyo was quick to see Hinode’s good traits and to rationalize that he didn’t need to hate himself, but she couldn’t do it with herself. It took the thought of Hinode also possibly losing his life for her to snap out of her suicidal state of mind. Most suicidal people rationalize that the people around them would be fine if they died, or even preferred it, so Hinode showing through both actions and words that he didn’t want her to “turn into a cat forever” helped her start to value her own life. 

It was a stark contrast between me as the viewer, feeling like Miyo’s transformation was technically Hinode’s fault, and Miyo, who felt like she needed to transform for Hinode’s sake because she loved him so much. Wanting to die because of the boy she loved may seem like a stretch in the terms of the metaphor, but that’s the point. The things the Mask Seller says are inherently illogical, but he says them when the person is at their weakest emotionally, which makes it easier to convince them. In the end, both Miyo and Hinode were able to free themselves of their masks (aka their irrational self-hatred) when Miyo realized that Hinode genuinely wanted to get to know her, and Hinode stopped feeling like he needed to hold back so Miyo wouldn’t see he was a “nobody”. Essentially, being honest and vulnerable with one another.

Overall, I think having this “Mask Stealer” as this antagonist representing suicidal thoughts gives new meaning to the idea of one “taking away their own life” and is actually really eye opening to those who may be facing similar situations as Miyo. The message is cheesy, but the creative way in which they tackled adolescent depression and suicide is worth watching.

there’s a problem i’ve noticed with certain shows endings and I’ve finally figured out what the unifying theme is

creators, don’t destroy your world’s premise 

aka the thing that makes it interesting and made people want to watch in the first place

unless you have a VERY good reason. 

so stuff like this:

replace magic with whatever interesting part of the world separates it from ours, whether that’s advanced technology, superpowers, or an interesting way society is set up.

Spoilers for: Star vs the Forces of Evil, Mary and the Witch’s Flower, Hunger Games, Legend of Korra, and Full Metal Alchemist

A recent infamous example of a show that did this was Star vs the Forces of Evil. Not only was magic never shown to be a problem before the ending, it was by and large shown as a good thing and a fundamental part of people's lives. Destroying all the magic made no sense on a logical level, not to mention unsatisfying on a narrative level.

Mary and the Witch’s Flower felt similar to me, though I understand the point it was trying to make. Magic in this movie is supposed to represent easy shortcuts or “magical thinking,” and is replaced with pure hard work. But seeing as magic is what allows Mary to discover all of these amazing things, and it helps her out time and time again, when she throws away the last of the magic this message falls flat. The film does not do a good enough job proving that magic in general is a problem—just that a couple of people in particular were misusing it.

On the other hand, the whole goal in The Hunger Games is to stop the titular Hunger Games. Even though these games are part of the premise, you don’t feel disappointed when they’re disbanded—quite the opposite. The games are obviously harmful from the get go.

The idea of “destroying your premise” doesn’t necessarily mean the whole premise, but can apply to a major part of it. For instance, I know a lot of people were frustrated when Legend of Korra destroyed the Avatar's connection to past Avatars, a core concept for how the Avatar works. It wasn't as part of some important sacrifice, to make a point, or even really shown to have a major impact. It was just to make one fight seem extra difficult, yet it's going to change everything moving forward.

A better example of this is in Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood, when Edward sacrifices his alchemy to save his brother. Though it is a sacrifice, and you might feel sorry he had to lose it, it makes sense. Alchemy has been shown throughout the show to have major downsides. It’s a moment of growth for a character who based a lot of his self-worth on his skill with alchemy. It’s showing that other people and our relationships with them are more important than power.

But in many cases, destroying the premise is frustrating and depressing to everyone who loved the story. I wish creators would consider it more carefully instead of doing it for easy drama.

Miyazaki Finally Gives Up the Pretense, Makes Film About Man Who Draws Planes for a Living

“Spoiler culture” gets a lot of hate these days, and I get it. There’s a fine line between “how hard is it to not talk about the plot of a movie you just saw on social media” and “how hard is it to stay off social media for a little bit until you’ve seen the movie.”

I get the annoyance with spoiler culture, but I also remember the circumstances that led to our current situation. I remember the mid-2000s, when trailers had half the movie in them — and if that wasn’t enough, the movie’s official website usually went the rest of the way. I remember poring over detailed rosters of every character set to appear in an upcoming X-Men movie. Even Pixar fell into the over-sharing trap — The Incredibles villain Syndrome, who doesn’t appear until a good chunk of the movie has passed, had a bio on the official website with his “powers” and evil plan right there for 12-year-old Chase to read all about. 

This led to teenage Chase making a conscious decision to not seek out information about movies that he already wanted to see, a policy I still roughly adhere to today. My greatest success was with Ant-Man, which I managed to see in theaters without having seen a single trailer. Usually, though, it means I just stick to teaser trailers. 

This go-in-blind mentality is never easier than when writing these reviews, since there’s not exactly a marketing blitz, past or current, for Hayao Miyazaki’s The Wind Rises. So far, I think my policy of avoiding both trailers and reviews of these movies has served me well, helping me to form my own thoughts without being biased one way or another. Unfortunately, this policy may have done more bad than good with this particular movie.

The Wind Rises was released in 2013, and is (for now) the last film directed by Miyazaki. It’s a dramatized biopic of Jiro Horikoshi, designer of Japan’s infamous “Zero” fighter planes — but you wouldn’t guess that from the movie itself. Not knowing anything of the film going in, I assumed I was watching a historical drama, like From Up on Poppy Hill or Grave of the Fireflies. As such, I was confused at the pace of the movie, which skips freely through large portions of Horikoshi’s life. The rapid and largely unannounced jumps in time and the lack of chyrons made it difficult for me to get a handle on the time period — although I’ll admit it probably wouldn’t be nearly so difficult for someone native to Japan, who could likely guess closely enough from the clothes, architecture, and other context clues. 

Beyond being confused about the setting, though, my lack of foreknowledge of The Wind Rises left me confused about the story the movie was telling. When you know a story is based on true events, it changes how you experience it. Studio Ghibli already departs from traditional Western ideas of storytelling and structure, and when you throw real-world subject matter into the mix, it goes further afield still. 

This is all to say: I think I would’ve enjoyed The Wind Rises more if I’d understood what it was beforehand. It’s a bit like how I kept waiting for the magic to show up in Whisper of the Heart, only it was a bigger, structural issue — something just felt off, until I pulled up the movie’s Wikipedia page after it ended and suddenly things clicked into place. 

Is the movie at fault for not spelling out its premise? Even the trailer doesn’t mention that it’s based on a real person. More than ever, I think that cultural differences may play a role here. I get the feeling that Jiro Horikoshi is relatively well-known in Japan; it would make all the difference watching this movie if you were vaguely aware of Horikoshi’s name and achievements.

As for the movie itself: it’s breathtakingly beautiful. The animation is almost insultingly lavish, like the third dining room on an episode of Cribs. Horikoshi’s glasses distort your view of his face, just like in real life. There’s a close-up involving a moving slide rule that made me gasp with its detail. The Wind Rises portrays Horikoshi as a dreamer, and his dreams constantly leak into the world around him, to wondrous effect.

The audio work is similarly audacious. Horikoshi’s (and Miyazaki’s) infatuation with flying machines breathes life into them, reflected not only in the lively way they’re animated, but also in the choice to use human vocals for the sound effects. The planes literally hum, roar, and gasp — never quite approaching cartoonish personification, but instead letting us see them through the engineer’s eyes. 

Other aspects of The Wind Rises aren’t quite as thrilling. I think there’s something very worthwhile in the film’s message on trying to make something beautiful in a world bent on cruelty, but it’s a bit muddied by a strange insistence that creative people have only 10 years to produce their life’s work. It’s an oddly specific limit, made even odder by Miyazaki’s own prolific career — at the time of this film’s release, his directing career alone stretched over 34 years. This may sound like nitpicking, but the 10 years number basically bookends the film, so I feel justified in calling shenanigans. 

Equally odd is the film’s love story. While beautiful and charming at times, it ends on an strange and unsatisfying note that makes me question the purpose of including it at all; did they simply feel that they couldn’t make a whole movie only about designing planes? If so, they could’ve done more to integrate the two stories, especially since this plot line was already entirely fabricated. 

To end on a positive note: the voice cast for this film is impossibly stacked. You’ve got Horikoshi voiced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, his work buddy voiced by John Krasinski, his boss voiced by Martin Short, Emily Blunt as his love interest, Mae Whitman as his little sister, Werner Herzog as his random German friend, Stanley Tucci as his Italian dream-friend, Zach Callison as young Horikoshi, and Elijah Wood in a role so small I literally can’t figure out what it was. It should be difficult to pick a favorite among such a lineup — and they all do great work here — but the runaway winner is, of course, Werner Herzog. The raspy voice and dry humor he brings to the sympathetic Castorp are a highlight of an already beautiful movie. 

I fully expect that, when I read other reviews of The Wind Rises, they will have only the highest praise for it. I can see where they’re coming from; this is a movie with breathtaking visuals, an innovative soundscape, a moving message, and talented cast. For me, however, those individual elements aren’t brought together in the service of a compelling story.

Up Next: The Tale of Princess Kaguya! It’s the last film directed by the late Isao Takahata and I’m ready to be emotionally destroyed. It’s also the second-to-last Ghibli movie (as of 2019), which is wild! Will I finish these reviews before the year ends?? The suspense is killing me!

Alternate Titles: The Wind Rises: Because No One Wanted to Put Poppy Hill on Their Best-of-the-Decade Lists

ya girl saw the downton movie and has some Thoughts

if you followed me at all from 2011-2015 then you'll know i am firmly Team Downstairs and did not want this movie to happen, just so you all know what position i'm coming from here.

everything below is gonna be spoilery af. if you haven't seen it yet and want info just hmu. if you have seen it and want to talk about it please message me bc i’m always up for chatting about Downton.

okay but the title sequence with the music building and cresting as we come up over the hills and get our first shot of downton... goosebumps. tbh i don't know shit about film making but i can't fault the technical aspects (costumes, music, cinematography). the impact of the increased budget was felt from the very first second.

for the plot i’m gonna split things by character to make it easier. i’ll probably go to see it again and maybe after that i’ll have some deeper Thoughts but i missed being able to liveblog during the film so enjoy my rambling first reactions.

upstairs peeps

everything with violet was iconic. i'm glad that they didn't neglect her relationship with isobel and ofc maggie and imelda played fantastically off each other. pretty much everyone has already highlighted the scene with violet and mary at the end and it tied things up perfectly between them. violet and mary are so so similar and violet has been pushing for her to inherit since before S1. the movie showed us that mary is basically running the estate even if she doesn't get the the title and i can totally see why violet is confident in the future of downton now. that being said, i don't think violet will actually die. maggie has been talking about leaving since 2012 and fellowes obviously put this in as a get-out clause for her should she want to go, but i reckon they’ll convince her to do more. if carson's palsy can be mysteriously cured, so can violet's conveniently vague illness.

i already knew that robert and cora weren't gonna be in it much, but i wish we could've seen cora finding out what was happening with edith and helping her out. it wouldn't surprise me if there was a deleted scene there cause that whole storyline felt a little disjointed. i completely forgot that cora knew about the pregnancy and was so confused at how the queen foud out about it all. i don't think we got anything in robert and cora's bedroom, or anything with cora/baxter and robert/bates, which would've also been very welcome but i guess they can only fit in so much.

onto mary: this may be an unpopular opinion but god i miss her long hair. yeah i know it wasn't the style of the time but her wig in this one was tragic and they need to fix it. i absolutely love that t*lbot didn't exist for a solid 95% of this movie and mary got her rightful place ruling downton. i wouldn't say i’m the biggest mary fan but her arc felt like one of the more satisfying ones of the movie imo.

as someone who has been firmly #teamedith from day one i am delighted to see my girl happy and successful. literally all her outfits were A+ and not to be gay on main but those scenes of her in her nightclothes getting ready for bed gave me my rights. i’m sad that she seems like she's either given up her magazine or has less of a role in it now based on what they said outside???? she did seem unsatisfied with aspects of her position so hopefully she'll go back to doing some writing and publishing cause that was a good fit for her, and if edith and bertie are “modern” enough to travel without servants surely edith moving away from traditional grand lady duties and back to her magazine that wouldn't be an issue. 

the mention of sybil being gone seven years? yeah. thanks for the pain. tom accidentally saving the monarchy on no less than two occasions is the ultimate "congratulations you played yourself" moment but the fact he thought the army had sent someone to check up on him is the level of republican i'm trying to be on. i'm a bit ehhhh on his relationship with lucy, mainly cause i'd rather the screentime given to the newbies had went to established characters. but like sybil/tom was a wholeass epic romantic slowburn spanning several years through a war and across class divisions n shit and meanwhile lucy/tom have known each other for forty eight hours and had three conversations in a hallway so like obviously that’s just gonna pale in comparison????? like it just is???? i guess i don't hate it but it just was a bit unnecessary and the time coulda been spent on better things.

isobel didn't have all that much to do on her own but i appreciated her scenes with violet and i love that she was the one to figure out that lucy was lady whatever's daughter. penelope wilton's facial expressions during some of the exchanges with violet were great. i see lord merton has also undergone a miraculous recovery from his apparently serious anaemia but he also didn't appear much which was a big win for me!

team downstairs aka the ones i turned up to see

as a downstairs supremacist who has watched the screentime distribution in previous fifty two eps of the show, it’s fair to say i had low expectations going in. i expected a grand total of 10 minutes for the servants combined and i think that's why i was unexpectedly happy with what we got. ideally we would've ditched the subplots involving the personal lives of the royals and all the stuff w imelda staunton and her maid but oh well it could’ve been worse and i'll take any breadcrumbs i can get. anyway i'm eagerly awaiting the team downstairs cut of the film one of yall will hopefully make when the dvd comes out. the only part that was far, FAR too upstairs heavy for me was the last sequence of the film after the royals left and i think we would've benefitted from rounding things off with team downstairs after the ball.

so i guess retirement magically cured the palsy carson had, but i guess after matthew’s miraculous recovery anything can happen at downton when it comes to health. Fellowes is getting a free pass for retconning this one cause i cba with more death/loss. mary going to carson for help and him immediately coming to her aid was very sweet. kinda wish we'd find out what he was up to post-Downton (except for his gardening) tho.

i was expected zero carson/hughes content in this movie and yet !!!! and yet!!!!!! we were somewhat well-fed. like carson (incorrectly) thinking he can control the other servants and mrs hughes' "oh that went well charlie, start as you mean to go on" hdjksjs i love them. and the lil scene in their cottage ugh. also we got more of them using their first names and yeah i guess that makes sense given they've been married for a while now but as i said, i had low expectations.

mrs hughes is still like the best person ever but wbk. her vs. the royal housekeeper = iconic. i kinda felt bad for royal whatsherface in some ways because she clearly didn't know who she was up against THE elsie hughes who has vanquished much scarier foes in her time. the other servants were never gonna win that battle.

the 0.5 seconds of baby bates *chef's kiss* perfection. god i am slightly bitter it was only 0.5 seconds given the fuckin multiseason journey leading up to his birth. tbh we should've ditched everything involving the personal lives of the rando new characters and let baby bates have some of that time but fellowes loves upstairs too much to let that happen. the small interaction was adorable though and i'm glad the mention of his name was subtle enough that we can retcon it cause i truly believe anna and bates would've came up with a more creative choice than that. genuinely i'm so curious about their whole living situation and how they cope with a smol child while working full time but i doubt fellowes even considered that so y’know. what can we do. i enjoyed the breadcrumbs but i wanted more.

i did go into this film with the mindset of "something awful will probably happen to anna or bates," cause that's what usually happens in these things but plot twist!!!! we saw them smile on multiple occassions!!!! what a nice change for us all! i swear every time anna bates smiles an angel gains their wings. her scenes with mary were good and i'm happy their friendship made it into the film. you know what else i was happy to see? the EXTREMELY UNDERRATED brotp between anna and baxter. there was a couple of moments with them standing next to each other or talking to each other and it warmed my heart. like yass two of my fave people are friends. it's a big win for me. 

i'm sure i read something about brendan being involved in another project which meant he couldn't film too much (i'm curious to whether this impacted the lack of baby bates scenes?) and while it's true that bates didn't have a ton of scenes, i didn't feel like he was absent which was good.

thomas had the best storyline imo. i don't blame him for being angry that mary brought in carson and it was actually very iconic of him to go off in the library like that. i found it hilarious that while everyone else was panicking at downton he went off on gay adventures. i really wish we'd gotten this "thomas makes a gay friend then discovers the village's underground gay scene THEN gets a boyfriend" in the show cause that would've been SO MUCH BETTER than some of the other stuff that got stretched out across the last couple series (like the love quadrangle with daisy/ivy/alfred/jimmy). like, imagine thomas’ movie plot as a series-long arc. the impact. i liked the guy that was his maybe-boyfriend and i hope any continuation keeps that relationship going.

mrs p and daisy continue to be the mother-daughter duo of the century. i thought both of them were supposed to be moving to the farm post-S6 but i suppose that would've meant they wouldn't be in the film hence why it didn't come to fruition. i guess they could all move once daisy and andy get married. mrs patmore didn't get a great deal to do but i still feel like i saw her a fair amount. comrade daisy was awesome and is definitely me when i see any monarchy-related stuff. somewhere over the last few seasons she's developed into one of the most interesting characters in downton and we don't talk about that enough. andy trashing the boiler was immature af but at the same time i feel like it completely makes sense for daisy to take that as a compliment. it’s just such a daisy thing to do?????

now, there is one thing i kinda fucked up here. while i went into the film with low expectations for everyone else, i fully expected baxley to be A Thing because how could i not and boy did i come out looking like boo boo the fool. i guess baxter and molesley have continued the tradition of Agonisingly Long Downstairs Slowburns which would be okay if we were still getting one season per year but is quite frankly rude when we're on rationed content like this. the first half of the film i thought it was gonna be revealed that they were together or something but then that scene at the end implied they're dancing around each other and my god is it frustrating. i would give so much to trade tom and lucy's romantic subplot for a baxter/molesley one but once again i know that's an unrealistic dream.

definitely not enough baxter in general but that one shot of her, anna and mrs hughes standing in the same frame was worth the price of my cinema ticket. still love molesley even tho he's a monarchist.

in terms of the overall downstairs stuff, i'm euphoric at seeing all these people interact with each other again. as we all know, found family is the best trope and since the servants are literally the epitome of that every moment focussed on them is like chicken soup for my weary soul. was the revolution against the royal servants realistic? no. was it realistic for the two people who came up with most of the plot to be the ones who went to jail for doing literally nothing wrong and would therefore want to avoid stuff that could get them in trouble with an all-powerful family? also no! however, seeing downstairs all working together for a common goal is content that appeals directly to me and i am thankful.

shoutout to the last scene which is the best way the movie could've ended it for me. use of first names AND walking home together? thank u fellowes.

tldr; team downstairs fan who was strongly anti-movie, went in with low expectations, was pleasantly surprised.  there are a shit ton of things i’d change but i just really loved seeing these characters who all mean so much to me again. obviously the only reason this film happened was for financial reasons rather than a desire to continue the storyline (cause the finale tied things up perfectly imo) but i wish they'd done a two-part miniseries instead to ensure everyone gets some screentime. two ninety minute specials every few years would work much better if everyone wants to keep downton going but i guess that doesn't bring the cash in like a movie does.

Michael After Midnight: Hereditary/The Tall Man

Modern horror movies have a lot of problems. Any horror fan will tell you this; things just aren’t the same as they were in the 70s, 80s, even the 90s, and the 90s was really where the major decline started to set in as everyone tried ripping off of scream. But in the decades after, horror films started relying far too much on jump scares, cheap CGI, and just a lack of care to the point where the genre was something of a joke.

Thankfully, things have started to look up. Films like Get Out, A Quiet Place, Don’t Breathe, these sorts of acclaimed, well-liked horror films are getting a lot of attention. And one of the most interesting of the lot is probably Hereditary, a contender for the best horror film of the decade… it just has one glaring problem, a problem that ALSO has begun cropping up lately: overexplanation.

It seems a lot of the time nowadays horror directors feel the need to beat us over the head with a logical explanation for the horrors before us, and oftentimes it sucks us right out of the experience. Perhaps the film that was hit worst with this was Jordan Peele’s Us which, while still a good film, loses something towards the end when the movie lays out everything. And while this trend seems to be cropping up a lot recently, I think the shining example of how bad it can get occurred earlier in the 2010s with the awful horror thriller The Tall Man, which features an ending that overexplains and does in the compelling elements for a tacky, tasteless reveal.

I bring it up because I’ve been thinking about how it compares to Hereditary, and how the two films have a very similar problem and similar flaws. Hereditary is a film that builds up an incredibly compelling drama that blurs the line between the supernatural and the mental trauma derived from a crumbling family, delivering an intense and uncomfortable narrative that ends up clumsily dismantled in the third act for a big demonic reveal. The Tall Man sets up a chilling supernatural force that stalks people and whisks away children, never to be seen again, only to reveal the titular Tall Man is a fabrication for a secret underground society of child traffickers who kidnap kids from poor families to give to rich families in a sort of screwed up reverse Robin Hood situation.

But where The Tall Man falls flat on its face, Hereditary still stands tall. Why is that?

I think it mostly has to do with the execution. Let’s look at Hereditary, as it is by far the better film. Hereditary spends the vast majority of its runtime with most of the supernatural elements in the background, or at least less of a focus than the mental anguish of this family in the face of the ultimate tragedy: the death of a child. The movie turns its lens to the uncomfortable atmosphere created between the mother and her son as she has to cope with his culpability in her daughter’s, his sister’s, death, eventually leading her to latch on to seances and lash out at her remaining child, her poor husband acting as a beleaguered referee.

I think the movie mostly remains consistent until the final act, when hints of a demon-worshiping witch cult begin popping up, but things don’t really jump the shark until the father is immolated in a nonsensical violation of the established rules, seemingly just to torment the wife further. After that, the movie turns into every other demonic posession movie ever for a bit before ending with the son being possessed by the demon king Paimon in a scene that is highly evocative of the final scene of Rosemary’s Baby.

Now, I already hate Rosemary’s Baby, so this scene was never going to fly with me, and it comes off as silly and ridiculous, the gnarly Paimon statue that utilizes the bug-eaten corpse head of the guy’s little sister notwithstanding. But despite that, the movie still has more of a leg to stand on than Rosemary’s Baby, or The Tall Man for that matter. The reason why is because even if it stumbled in the finale, it has an incredibly strong foundation. Think of the ending as a very ugly roof on an otherwise sturdy and perfectly fine house; yes, it’s unpleasant, but you’ve still got a great house here.

The Tall Man, on the other hand, constructs a decent foundation and then starts whacking at it with hammers as soon as that foundation is built up. As soon as we get to the twist that our protagonist who we have been following is actually a kidnapper who has abducted a child from an impoverished woman who is now desperately seeking her child back, this house is starting to shake at the foundations. And once we get to the end, well, the house just falls in on itself. You see, the issue isn’t even that they squandered a really interesting supernatural concept; the idea of a child-kidnapping boogeyman is not exactly new or anything. The problem is that even after the twist we are expected to see the kidnapper as a sympathetic martyr, and her organization as a bunch of people who have to make the tough choices to do the right thing.

But Thanos this organization is not. They are not noble, or kind, or sympathetic in the slightest. Their modus operandi is to kidnap children from impoverished families and hand them over to rich people who will give that child whatever they want and, as far as the organization is concerned, a better life. When the main character is caught, she straight up tells the grieving mother who spent the film chasing her down that her child is dead, and she will never find the body. Her child, who is very much alive and now being cared for by some wealthy family, was taken from this poor woman just because our main character felt she couldn’t provide for him. I really don’t think I need to tell you that this entire film is just disgustingly classist, and the fact that the movie to the end tries to garner sympathy for these reprehensible human traffickers is bogus.

You’d think, maybe, if they had this massive secret organization, they could try and utilize their power to help the impoverished reach levels where they could adequately take care of their children, like actually help these families instead of kidnapping and dealing in human trafficking because they believe in some sort of eugenics-esque bullcrap about how the poor are unfit to raise children and only the rich deserve the right to rear offspring. This message was deplorable back in 2012, and it certainly hasn’t gotten better with age. And see, this is where the film truly fails: it did not build up a solid foundation where something this stupid could be acceptable – not that any foundation could make this acceptable, mind you – as the whole “child-stealing boogeyman” would have at best made an entirely passable, mostly forgettable horror film that might have developed a cult following but otherwise been ignored. Instead, it veers off into the most wildly offensive territory possible, delivering a wholly unsatisfying and downright offensive experience that just boggles the mind as to how anyone ever thought this was a good direction to take the film.

Two horror films with similar structures building up in one way, but one still manages to be good in spite of itself while one manages to be one of the most repulsive films I have ever seen… frankly, this is one of the reasons why I love the horror genre, because you can find movies with all kinds of extremes like this. Hereditary is a film I heartily recommend to anyone looking for a good horror film, because it is undoubtedly fantastic even if I don’t much care for the ending. The Tall Man? Leave it. It’s not worth your time, and I don’t want anyone to be subjected to such repugnant morals. If you really want to see it, don’t pay for it; don’t give the hacks who made it any money. The only value I can see being gleaned from that film is to see just how ass-backwards and callous a filmmaker can be.

Black Panther Review Articles 4

W'Kabi is someone I don't see many talk about - probably cause they don't like him for his 'betrayal' but I think they miss the point of this character and the importance of highlighting him. W'Kabi parents had been murder and he felt the prior kind did nothing to find justice for those lives and many others that was lost. When T'Challa came back empty hand that feeling of disappointment returned, that anger returned. W'Kabi's point is politics - those in power, in control are not doing the things they need to do for their people and so when Erik returns with the body of the person who has killed his parents...he's met someone who in his perspective doesn't just talk the talk but commits the actions to back it up. Erik speaks of correcting wrongs that's been going on forever and so for W'Kabi it's a political change.

You may dislike him because that change had to be from T'Challa, but if you're seeking to understand Erik you should also be seeking to understand W'Kabi. He's not a bad guy, just someone unsatisfied with his government (King's) leadership. As someone who is frustrated with my own government and leadership it's easy to empathize with his reasonings even as I feel his choice in alternate leadership wasn't the best.

“Would you kill me, my love?”

We also get that powerful imagery of him not only dropping his weapon but dropping to his knees before Okoye. He is the leader of men, while she is the leader her of her women, and when he ask her (subtly) to give up her views, her desires, her honor, for him - she refuses and so he then bows into her leadership. This is an important moment for black women because giving into men is supposed to be our way of life despite being right. The underlying messages that they bringing for women in this movie is top fucking notch really.  Because the reality is you need to take stock in what it is you really have and what it is you're fighting for. W'Kabi still has a chance to evaluate the situation. He may have cast his ballot into the wrong box but he can stop and fight for what's right now. You wanna stand behind someone whose gonna fight for the right thing not someone whose just gonna act.

W'Kabi's situation reminds me of those who were so incapable of seeing the good Obama was trying to do and then went and voted for Trump and now claim to regret it.

“Are ya’ll done yet..are ya’ll done?”

I love M'Baku! I don't think he gets as much shine as he should. He definitely should not be called a villain or bad guy when it comes to this film because he was not. The challenge was acceptable and so he placed it out there because he wanted the throne. He lost and accepted that loss with no ill feelings and returned the due of lie back to T'Challa tenfold because not only did he keep the king alive but he didn't take the opportunity to become the Black Panther he was given. He then showed up for the battle even though he had previously refused. M'Baku is just a good guy whose people choose to live separately and a bit differently from T'Challa's.

M'Baku is a comedic genius - they split up some of the most important lines between him and Shuri. The moment he starts making animal noises in response to the white guy speaking - I was floored for several reasons. One because there have been plenty of times where I've just wanted to tell white people to shut up - they often have opinion on things they have no stake in yet want to be heard the most. And because the aspect that he thought M'Baku animalistic anyway. That why M'Baku laughs so hard after saying he'll feed him to his children then saying I'm just playing - we're vegetarians. Because homies eyes got so big - white people will believe blacks are capable of the most outlandish shit even though it's often very far from reality. The fact that they highlighted that concept - I lived for it. His response to T'Challa low key asking for his army - haha they're just so damn black man and I love it.

The Casting:

I’m happy as fuck with the moves Daniel Kaluuya is currently making. After breaking out in Get Out - another high moving creature for black people - this was def the move to make. The fact that people don’t talk about his character a lot got me zoning but just being in the feature is a good look for him. When it comes to our films he's probably always gonna be high on the list and thats never a bad thing. 

This is my first film with Winston Duke - but I felt like I was gonna love him the moment I saw him and Chadwick fake box on stage. he just has a nice vibe yo. his delivery for this character was so on point and I'd be willing to see his next project for sure. He sat in the pocket with them lines. And to be a side character he still pushed his presences through and remained rememberable...hell relatable. I would def hope for him any sequels they decide to do. 

AT LONG LAST! The long awaited, month and a half late I’m so sorry, Sequel to Gifts from the Dark Side! So, yeah. I meant to have this finished and posted on Christmas... I’m very sorry to all the people who have waited so long they probably don’t even remember the first fic. Or those who have changed their url’s since asking to be tagged. I don’t know why but I got through about 4/5 of this and just... lost the motivation. And I didn’t want to force an unsatisfying ending for it, so I just kind of shelved it until I could find it in my heart to come back and finish it. Which I FINALLY did! Yay! So without further ado, here it is. 

Title: Gift from the Light Sides Words: 5687 (Mercy, I really did that!) Content Warnings: Some Angst. Panic Attack. Crying. Lots of Crying. Sleepless night. Mild self-deprecation. I think that’s it, but message me if I should add something.

General Tagslist: @moose-squirrel05, @didsomeonesayprince, @readeatfightlove13

Gifts from the Dark Side Tagslist: @uwillbeefound, @jughead-is-canonically-aroace, @highpriestessofthexeoniancouncil, @its-raining-cats, @lightlady599, @leesacrakon, @milomeepit, @lenakszak, @five-hour-anxiety​, @nightmarejasmine​, @theamberrose97​, @lizziepopanime​, @llamaly​, @cinquefoilelove​, @nerdy-emo-royal-dad​, @bangthekobrakid​, @soiguessthisismyusername​, @samidaboss3​

Virgil was honestly shocked by how much could change in just one year. Less than that really. Half a year more like. It was astonishing, wonderful, and terrifying all at once. Virgil didn’t typically handle change all that well. He couldn’t help it. Change meant differences. Differences meant new things that could go wrong. And Virgil was driven by his own nature as Anxiety, to imagine each and every possible and impossible scenario. Which is what he was doing now. Though this time, not for Thomas.

What if they’re angry at me? All those years of lying, what if it makes them upset. What if they hate me. What if they hate themselves? Oh god, what if they feel guilty? What if I make them feel guilty? What if they’re mad at me for making them feel guilty. I can’t. I can’t do that to them. But I can’t do nothing. I have to do something. Something has to change. What do I do? Dammit! What am I supposed to do now!

Here Virgil was, pacing a small circle in his room, wrapping paper of half a dozen varieties strewn around his room, tape and tissue paper making home of his space. The question had been plaguing him all month and now, here it was, December 24th, and Virgil felt no closer to a decent answer. In all those years, dreaming of acceptance, Virgil had never believed it even remotely possible enough to imagine the real-world implications. It was a genie wish, now coming true, and Virgil was facing the unforeseen consequences.

There were several benefits to being semi-fictional. One of which was an expedited healing process. Things that for a normal person would take days to heal, would take only an hour or two for the sides. Weeks became a handful of days and months not more than a few weeks. But even at this reduced rate, it was still taking the sides months of work and effort to recover from the psychological damage the past 28 years had done. Virgil was struggling in his own way, slowly but surely finding his place among the others and rebuilding his own sense of self-worth. Forgiving them had been easy, forgetting… not so much. And for the other’s forgiving themselves was a challenge almost as hard as Virgil’s battle. Guilt and shame and an intense desire to right the wrongs were only logical after discovering you had mistreated someone for so many years. Virgil knew they were struggling to come to terms with their past actions. He had no desire to make it harder. Which is why as Christmas Day drew ever nearer, Virgil found himself pacing his room trying to figure out what to do.

Patton had been so shy when asking Virgil if he wanted to celebrate Christmas with them. He made a point of emphasizing that Virgil didn’t have to do anything that he didn’t want to or feel comfortable doing. Of course, Virgil wanted nothing more than to spend the holidays with his family. Upon expressing this, Patton’s whole demeanor had shifted, becoming once more the bubbly, excited character he typically was. “Oh wonderful! It’s going to be so much fun having all the Kiddos together. You can help us decorate and bake and we’ll leave cookies for Santa and I’m sure he’ll leave you a present too this year.” That had given Virgil pause.

“I-I-I d-don’t know Pat,” Virgil stammered out. “I mean, he never has before. And I’m not… really the one who… has changed… a lot.”

“Nonsense!” Roman had exclaimed from the stairs, helping Logan haul down a large storage container Virgil assumed held the Christmas stuff. The noise had evidently startled everyone as Virgil and Patton both jumped and Logan almost dropped the box. Patton and Virgil stood to help them. Once the box was safely on the floor, Logan spoke.

“Virgil, I suspect that since Thomas has now accepted that you are a good guy, given that this is his mind, it is likely you will land on the so called ‘nice list’ this year.”

“Yeah!” Patton giggled. “I’m sure Santa knows you’re a good guy now! He’ll probably leave extra stuff to make up for all the years he messed up.” Virgil gaze shifted between the three of them, so hopeful and happy. He couldn’t find the words to tell them the truth, to dash their hopes and layer on the guilt. So, he didn’t.

“Maybe.” He muttered, shifting uncomfortably. Thankfully, they seemed to understand the Virgil wanted to drop the subject. They cracked open the storage box and together made the mindscape commons festive.

Now it was late at night on Christmas Eve and Virgil had spent the whole day in his room bouncing between monitoring video progress, then reception; and wracking his brain for a solution to his current conundrum. The three typically wrapped presents were waiting in their annual spot beside Virgil’s door. This year, Logan was receiving a nebula painted inside of an eye, Roman a fancy new journal and fountain pen, and Patton was getting an old polaroid camera with film and paper. The gifts themselves were not the concern for Virgil, rather it was how they should be presented.

If I give them as Santa, then I also have to come up with more gifts from me. What else could I give them? I worked hard on those. And what about myself? I can’t give myself a gift from Santa. That’s just messed up on so many levels. Besides, I do want to tell them eventually. Just not yet. Not when we’re in the middle of all this other shit. Fuck, what do I do?

An alarm went off on Virgil’s phone and he glanced at it. Midnight. It’s Christmas. Shit, shit, shit, dammit, fuck. I’m running out of time. Virgil pocket the phone and walked over to his door. He opened it quietly, listening to hear if the others were up. When he could here three sets of soft snoring and no one stirring, Virgil picked up the three gifts and crept downstairs, as was his normal ritual. Last chance to change your mind. If I leave them, they’re from Santa. Virgil worked slower than usual, taking extra care to be absolutely silent. He sat back to appreciate his work, still internally debating. Seeing them there, just like every year, but in a whole new light given recent events, Virgil made his decision. I can’t take this away from them. Not now. Not in the middle of all this other change. Let this tradition remain. Resolute in his decision, Virgil stood. He ate the cookies, this year not feeling the desire to consume them all given that he had been able to enjoy them all month. In fact, it was almost difficult to eat just the normal two and a half. He chased the sweet down with half the milk, then finally retreated back upstairs. Now to figure out what to give them from me.

Taking a few notes from the video, Virgil worked through the remainder of the night, barely even aware of the passing hours until sunlight began streaming in through his windows and he could give a shy smile at his newly finished creations. It wasn’t much, but Virgil hoped the others wouldn’t mind, chalking it up to Virgil not really knowing what to get them. He had expanded on the card idea to give Patton a small book full of puns and compliments and a long list of reasons Virgil loved the dad character. For Logan, Virgil had used his vast Tumblr knowledge to compile an alphabetical list of slang terms and memes, including notes of which ones were already outdated and which ones were old and would likely become outdated soon. Roman had been tougher. What do you create for Creativity. In the end, Virgil had written an epic-like poem, telling the story of the dashing prince who saved his kingdom from a monster called Boredom with his horse Inspiration and his sword Imagination. Virgil was quite proud of the trinkets, especially considering the time crunch he was working on. He stood and stretched with a yawn. He summoned a few gift bags and grabbed some tissue paper from the mess of his room. I’ll have to clean this up before anyone walks in. Once the gifts were packaged and labeled, he took them on downstairs, firmly closing the door behind him. Once the presents were under the tree, Virgil released a face splitting yawn, the sleepless night weighing heavily on his body. However, Virgil could tell, too many anxious thoughts sparked and swirled in his mind for sleep to be feasible. So, rather than go back to his room and attempt to rest, he wandered into the kitchen and made some hot chocolate (coffee was never a great thing to give the embodiment of anxiety). With his warm drink in hand, Virgil curled up on the sofa and flipped on the tv, muting it so it wouldn’t wake the others. He flipped through channels until he found a familiar movie, A Christmas Carol, and watched the scenes flickered by in a trance-like state of almost dozing.

“Good Morning and Merry Christmas, Virgil!” Virgil was jerked from his blank minded staring by Patton’s cheery tone. He looked around, noticing how much lighter the room had grown as sunlight filtered in. Patton giggled as he came off the stairs and wrapped Virgil in a hug from behind. “Couldn’t sleep, could ya, Kiddo.” Virgil hummed a vague affirmation, too out of it to produce words just yet. Patton giggled again and grabbed Virgil’s mug, still half full but now cold. “Logan and Roman will probably be up soon. In the meantime, would you like to help me with breakfast?” Finally coming back into full consciousness, Virgil nodded.

“Sure Dad. Sounds fun.” Patton gave him a bright happy grin, which Virgil returned with his trademark, shy half smile. Once Patton let him go, Virgil stood and stretched, groaning as tired muscles clicked and popped back into place after no less than an hour and a half sitting hunched on the sofa. Patton was already pulling out pans and bowls when Virgil joined him. “What do you need?” Virgil asked, walking towards the fridge.

“Eggs, milk, bacon, butter, flour.” Virgil pulled the ingredients as Patton listed them off. Patton cheerily taught Virgil how to mix up pancake batter while the father figure managed the stove. Somewhere in the middle, Logan came down and began to brew a pot of coffee. Roman was the last to come down. He set the table. As the house filled with the sounds of life and merriment, Virgil’s smile slowly grew. This is the life. Only after breakfast was eaten did Patton stand, a bounce in his step, and announce, “Present time!” With light chuckles, everyone moved into the living room. Virgil felt nervous energy well up inside of him, but he pushed it down, focusing on the easy warmth of being with his family. First the stockings were distributed and Virgil noted the distinct lack of coal in his own. Then Patton sat by the tree.

“You do the honors, Padre.” Roman told Patton.

“Okay!” He grabbed a present at random, carefully avoiding the Santa presents, and read the tag. “To Logan from Roman.” Logan took the gift.

“Thank you, Patton.” He tore into the wrapping, exposing a pair of soft, unicorn slippers.

“To match your onesie.” Roman clarified. Logan chuckled.

“Thank you, Roman. They shall see much use.” Virgil felt warmth blossoming through him.

“Virgil, next one’s for you,” Patton spoke. “It’s from me.” The father grinned as Virgil gingerly accepted the gift.

“Thank you.” Virgil pulled off the wrapper to find a framed picture. Tears sprung to his eyes as he recognized the image. It was a selfie Patton had taken with Logan, Roman, Virgil, and Thomas in the background. After the whole ‘ducking out’ thing, they had gathered in Thomas’s apartment for a good feelings jam and movie night. It had been one of the best nights of Virgil’s life. In the picture, Virgil was wedged between Thomas and Logan with Roman to the side. Virgil and Roman both had red tints creeping on their cheeks and Thomas was doubled over with laughter. Logan looked bewildered. The memory magnified the warmth in Virgil’s chest ten-fold. He cleared his throat, trying to speak without too much emotion. “I love it. Thanks Dad.” Patton flashed a grin.

This continued on, Patton handing out presents and everyone opening theirs and sharing words of love and appreciation. Patton had gotten a scarf, hat, and mittens set from Roman covered in cats and dog; as well as a joke book from Logan. He has squealed when he opened Virgil’s gift and Virgil could feel his cheeks burning. Logan and Roman both also gushed over Virgil’s gits to them. From Patton, Logan received one of those Lego Architecture set to build famous buildings and things. In homage to Sherlock, Logan got a set for London. Roman got a scrapbook of playbills from all of Thomas’s past shows and from Logan, a book about improv and method acting. Virgil got a Nightmare Before Christmas puzzle book from Logan and a new makeup set from Roman. Finally, they were down to Virgil’s Santa presents. Virgil tried to hide his excitement, ignoring the shooting glances everyone sent at the stack under the tree.

Logan opened his first. The soft gasp the gift elicited almost made Virgil giggle with bubbly joy. “This is… incredible.” He held the painting up. “The detail is simply astounding. Thank you, Santa.” Virgil hid his smile with a sip of cocoa. Roman’s was next.

“Magnificent! Just what I’ve been needing lately! Thank you, Santa.” Finally, it was just Patton’s gift. Virgil noticed the way his fingers trembled as he pulled the box near. He opened the box and pulled out the camera, turning it over in his hands. Virgil saw the tears well up in his eyes. “I love it. Thank you, Santa.” The underneath of the tree was now empty. Virgil closed his eyes and leaned back in the couch with a contented sigh. Suddenly, “I’m so sorry, Virgil.” Virgil looked up where Patton was now standing above him. The father looked conflicted and lost. Virgil’s eyes darted to the other two who seemed to be in similarly confused states. “I thought for sure… I don’t understand why he would leave you out.” Patton was almost crying now.

“Pat, what are you talking about?”

“Santa.” The damn broke and Patton sobbed. Oh. Yeah. That. Virgil gave the father a soft smile, standing to give him a hug.

“It’s okay, Patton.”

“N-no, it isn’t. It’s not r-r-right.”

“How could Santa be so callous!” Roman sounded affronted.

“Virgil,” Logan spoke, calmer than the other two, “You should have received a present to. You deserve one as well.” Virgil pulled out of Patton’s arms. He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat and come up with some way to make it okay again.

“But it’s okay. I don’t need a present from Santa to know I’m not a bad guy. Besides, there’s nothing he could give me better than this.” Patton’s sob slowed.

“W-what do you mean, K-kiddo?” Virgil flashed a smile, a real genuine smile.

“All I ever wanted was to be accepted, to be a part of the family. I have that now. Nothing Santa could give would be better than that.”

“Do you mean it?” Roman asked, sounding choked. Virgil nodded.

“Absolutely.” Before he realized what was happening, Virgil was on the couch, wrapped in the biggest hug he had received to date. Warmth and happiness and love flared almost painfully inside of him. They sat just like that for a long while. After a bit, someone turned the volume back on, on the tv. They spent most of the day watching Christmas movies. At some point, Virgil’s sleepless night caught up with him, and he fell asleep wrapped in the embrace of his family.

 “You got him, Ro?”

“Yeah, I’m good, Patton.”

“He’ll sleep better in a bed.”

“I wonder if he slept at all last night.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me if the answer was no.”

“Shh. Guys, you’ll wake him.”

“Take him on upstairs, then, Roman.” Virgil snuggles into the soft, warm wall he was held against by two strong branches. The distant voices fell silent and a gentle swaying lulled him back into a deeper sleep.

 Roman couldn’t help but smile at the lanky emo currently nuzzling his chest. It was only 5pm, but Virgil had fallen asleep. Patton mentioned he had been up when he had come down that morning and Logan speculated he didn’t sleep well, if at all. They had decided he should be put in bed where he could rest comfortably and Roman, being the strongest of the group, had volunteered to take him. He climbed the stairs slowly, careful not to jostle Virgil too much. It probably wouldn’t be good for anyone to have the embodiment of Anxiety wake up in an unexpected place being carried by someone. It took 4 minutes, but finally, Roman made it to the second story. Virgil’s door proved a bit of a challenge, but Roman finally got it to swing open. The sight that greeted him inside was shocking to say the least.

First and foremost, Roman never would have expected a mess. The one time they had popped up with Thomas in Virgil’s realm (which would be found on the other side of the room outside of where the replica of Thomas’s bedroom door was), it had been immaculately organized. Of course, there had been spider webs everywhere, but otherwise, it had been clean. Logan had hypothesized that obsessive organization was a side effect of anxiety. Virgil had confirmed that if he couldn’t find what he needed when he needed it, he tended to freak out. But the mess alone was not what brought Roman to a stuttering halt in the doorway. It’s what the mess was made of. There was Christmas wrapping all over the place, despite the fact that Virgil had used bags. Most surprising of all was the three rolls in particular that stood out to Roman, the three designs he easily recognized. His eyes darted around the room, trying to make some semblance of sense out of the chaos. An idea tickled the back of his mind, but the implications were so horrible, Roman couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge it. After several moments, Virgil shifted in his arms, and Roman moved. He cleared a spot on Virgil’s bed and laid him in it, tucking the covers snugly around him. Virgil shifted again and mumbled something incoherent before sighing and relaxing. Once he was certain Virgil wasn’t going to wake up, he made his way swiftly back to the stairs, leaving the door open behind him. He came halfway down before calling for Logan and Patton’s attention.

“I think there is something you two should see.” Patton was on his feet instantly.

“Why, Roman? What’s wrong? Is Virgil okay?”

“I… I think so. Just, come on. Let me show you.” Logan gave him s skeptical look, but got up and followed nonetheless. Roman showed them to Virgil’s room, where they all peeked in.

“What are you talking about? He looks fi-” Patton’s comment came to a stilted halt as he took in the whole room. “Oh.” Logan adjusted his glasses, then cautiously walked in. He picked up the three familiar rolls, balancing them in his hands, a thoughtful look on his face. “Logan? What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking…” Logan turned his gaze to their youngest counterpart, “I’m thinking we should discuss this downstairs.” With that, Logan snapped his fingers, the mess of the room organizing itself at his will. Logan kept hold of the three rolls and brought them out of the room with him, closing the door quietly as he left. “It would appear Santa is not who he seems.” With that, the three sides left Virgil to rest, and went downstairs for a long discussion of Christmas traditions.

 Virgil awoke feeling better rested than he had in a very long time. He came around slowly, blinking blearily to clear his sight of sleep. He expected to wake up in the living room, perhaps on the couch, with the others around him. But when his eyed finally focused, he was surprised to see the almost black blue that was his painted ceiling. He blinked a couple times. “When did I come up here?” He turned his head, expecting the absolute disarray that was his last memory of his room. He was met with confusion at the tidiness of his space, all the wrapping paper stacked neatly in a box by his desk. He wracked his brain, trying to remember cleaning up, until he noticed something. Or more specifically, something missing. Shock pierced his system and he sat up, slivers of fear immediately beginning to crawl up his spine and sit freezing cold on the back of his neck. “Where’s the wrapping paper?” He threw off the blanket and stood, stumbling slightly as his muscles woke up. He staggered over to the box and pawed through it, looking for the old, familiar wraps he has used for many Christmases past. It became increasingly apparent that the paper wasn’t there and Virgil became increasingly desperate to find it. He threw himself at his bed, checking underneath, but only finding his art supplies and canvases. He checked his closet next, only met with his clothes and a few shoeboxes of old photographs. The longer he looked but couldn’t find, the more panic welled up inside him. After 15 minutes of frantic searching, breathing became too difficult to continue. He sat at his desk chair, struggling to regulate his breathing. It wasn’t working and Virgil’s mind began to spiral away from him.

Oh god, what if they found them? What if they brought me to my room and they found the mess and the paper? What of they realized it was me all along? What if they hate me for lying to them all these years? What if they’re mad at themselves for not knowing sooner? What if Patton is upset that Santa isn’t real? Oh god, this is bad. This is bad, bad, bad. I should have cleaned up earlier. I should have dropped off the gifts and come back up to clean. Stupid. Lazy. Fuck-up. I fucked up. I fucked up. I fucked up.

Suddenly, Virgil felt a familiar tug in his gut. He tried to swat the sensation away. “Noooo. Not right now. I can’t. I’m… I …I… noooo,” He whined, but the sensation persisted until Virgil was pulled into the real world.

“Virgil, what’s wrong.” Virgil couldn’t focus on the speaker, too caught up in his own self-deprecating, panicking thoughts. “Virgil, hey, bud, look at me.” Virgil tried. It took a few minutes, but eventually he was able to meet Thomas’s gentle gaze. “There you are. Can I touch you?” Slowly, Virgil nodded. Thomas reached out, placing one hand on Virgil’s shoulder, grounding him further. The other hand grabbed one of Virgil’s guiding it to Thomas’s chest. “Can you breathe with me?” Thomas breathed deeply, in for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Virgil fought to match the steady rhythm, panicked thoughts fading to the background as Virgil focused on the simple task. After several minutes, Virgil felt like he could breathe on his own again.

“Are you back with us, Kiddo?” Virgil was only mildly surprised to hear Patton’s voice. If Thomas had summoned him, it made sense that he had summoned the other’s too. Virgil flicked his gaze to the father, but almost instantly dropped it again.

“Yeah. M’here.”

“Good. We’re glad.” Virgil flinched back from Roman’s boisterous tone. “Sorry.” Roman amended.

“S’okay.”

“Virgil?” It was Logan speaking now. The logical trait has knelt beside Virgil. “Would you mind telling us what caused this attack? Perhaps we could help.” Virgil couldn’t bring himself to look up and meet their gazes.

“It’s nothing. I just… couldn’t find what I was looking for.”

“Oh. Well, what was it. Maybe we can help.” Thomas was as chipper as ever, if slightly concerned. Virgil glanced briefly at him, then at Roman, Patton, and finally Logan. They were all watching him expectantly.

“It’s nothing important.” They frowned. A thoughtful look crossed Logan’s features.

“Would it perhaps be these?” Logan grabbed something from beside the stairs and three familiar rolls of paper came to rest in his hand. Virgil looked between him, the paper, and the others. Their expressions were unreadable. Virgil felt heat rise to his face and he hung his head.

“M’sorry.” They seemed to get a reaction. Patton came down with Logan, wrapping Virgil in a half hug.

“Whatever do you think you have to be sorry for?” Virgil thought for a moment, trying to put into words the weight on his mind.

“For not telling you sooner. For lying for all these years.”

“Well, why didn’t you say something before? Did you think we wouldn’t believe you?” Patton asked curiously.

“No. That’s not it. I mean, maybe once upon a time, but not now.” Virgil was hesitant.

“Then what?” He prodded gently.

“I didn’t want you to be upset.”

“We would never be upset with you for this.”

“Not… not just with me. Not anymore.”

“I may be alone, feelings are not really my thing, but I don’t understand what you mean, Virgil.” Logan seemed somewhat baffled.

“I didn’t want you to be upset with yourselves. For excluding me. And for jumping to conclusions. You’ve all been trying so hard, just like I have, to be better and I know sometimes you struggle to forgive yourselves even though I’ve already forgiven you and I just… I didn’t want to make it any harder. Especially not right now. It’s… it’s Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be happy.” Virgil couldn’t stop his babbling until the feelings had had their say. It was always something he’d struggled with. Once the words were finally out there, a heavy silence settled over the room.

Patton was the first to respond and Virgil found himself engulfed in the father’s arms. Virgil looked at him, confused by the odd mixture of deep sadness and joy that seemed to be fighting for dominance of his facial expression. “Oh, Kiddo. Virgil. It’s so sweet that you want to protect us from that we love you for it, we really do, but…” Patton trailed off, a small frown forming on his face. Logan picked up where he left off.

“But you can’t protect us from that. It’s illogical and it will not help in the long run.”

“Logan is right,” Roman interjected. “We messed up in a most grievous manner. We caused you pain for many years. There must be consequence for our actions. We must atone for our sins.” Virgil frowned. That’s exactly what he didn’t want.

“I don’t want atonement. I just want to move on. I want to leave the past behind so we can just be a family.”

“Virge.” Thomas piped up, taking on his normal role of mediator and leader for his sides. “The only way to move on from the past is to acknowledge it. We all must come to terms with our past mistakes. It’s the only way to truly heal. That’s the consequence Roman speaks of. The healing process, forgiving ourselves and each other and learning how to be better, it’s a messy process and its going to take time. But in the end, it will be so worth it. Because isn’t healing so much better than pretending not to be hurt?” Virgil listened intently to what Thomas had to say. He was trying to take to heart what he was saying. At the same time, his brain made a connection that had a small smirk pulling at his lips.

“You sound just like you do in the videos. Are you sure you don’t have a hidden camera set up somewhere?” The easy wit did wonders for the tension in the room. Thomas and Roman both chuckled, Patton giggled, and even Logan let out an amused snort.

“No. No filming today.” Something occurred to Virgil then.

“Then why did you summon us all?” Thomas just chuckled again.

“Actually,” Patton chirped, jumping up. “He didn’t Logan and Roman and me were already here.”

“I,” corrected Logan.

“Aye, aye, Captain.” Said Roman, rhythmically.

“What, is it National Talk Like A Pirate Day?” Asked Patton cheekily. Logan just sighed and shook his head. Virgil tried to hold back a chuckle, but failed and just barely managed to muffle it with his hoodie sleeve.

“Virgil.” Logan spoke seriously. Virgil swallowed nervously, something Logan didn’t miss. He made a point of softening his tone when he continued. “We were up here seeking help from Thomas. You see, with how thoughtful and generous you’ve been with your gifts for all these years, we thought it only fair you should receive something equally special from us. We required Thomas’s assistance in acquiring it.”

“Oh. Um. Y-you guys didn’t ha-ave to go through all that tr-rouble just for me.” Virgil stuttered out.

“They wanted to.” Thomas responded calmly. “I wanted to. We want to show you how much you mean to us, Virgil. We can’t make up for all those years we excluded and isolated you. But we can make dang sure you feel loved and included now.” Virgil ducked his head, hiding the soft pink spreading across his cheeks, which were on display since Virgil hadn’t put on his make-up yet.

“O-o-okay.” Virgil glanced up from under his bangs, catching the broad smile on each of there faces. Even Logan, Mr. Emotions are the bane of my existence, was sporting one. Patton had bounced over to the coffee table were a medium sized box wrapped in electric purple paper sat. He grabbed it and bounced back over, plopping down next to Virgil and sliding the box into his hands. Virgil noticed a card taped to the top.

“We hope you like it, Kiddo. It was Roman’s idea what to get.”

“Well, Logan picked out which one.” Roman replied sheepishly.

“Patton and Thomas made the card,” said Logan.

“It was a team effort!” Giggled Patton. “Open it up.” Virgil opened the card first. It was a home-made paper card, like the one he had received from Patton what felt like a lifetime ago now. On the front, they had drawn Logan, Thomas, Roman, and Patton with Virgil soaring above them on purple wings. It read: ‘For our Guardian Angle, who takes good care of us…’ Virgil opened the card. Inside, he had landed on the ground and the others had grouped around him in a hug. ‘Don’t be An-Jealous! We want to take care of you, too!’ Virgil made no effort to hide the smile on his face. He carefully slid the card back into its envelope. Then he turned to the box. He glanced up at them, looking for confirmation. The all gave him soft smiles and small nods. Virgil tore into the paper and opened the box. His mouth fell open when he looked inside. He glanced between his family and the box, unsure if this was even happening. “Well?” Patton pressed gently. Virgil’s hands fell into the box, pulling out the soft purple and yellow fabric. He began to unfold it, unsurprised when it took on a humanoid shape. The unfolding revealed pieces of orange fabric mixed in. Once it was fully unfolded, Virgil held in his hands a Spyro the Dragon onesie. Tears welled up in his eyes at the thoughtfulness that must have gone into this gift. He couldn’t even imagine what they’d had to do to get it here within the last 24 hours.

“It’s perfect, guys. Thank you. I love it. I love you.” It was weird saying it, after spending so long hiding those feelings. But even weird, it felt right.

“We love you to, Virgil.” They all chorused back. The tears spilled over, but Virgil found he didn’t mind. Not when Patton was there, gently wiping them away with his own tearful smile. They were all quiet as the cried out their individual feelings of overwhelming joy and love. After a while, Roman snapped his fingers, gaining their attentions. He beamed a broad smile, looking for all the world like he had just had the most brilliant idea in the whole world. Virgil was more than happy in that moment to believe that maybe he had.

“What does everyone say to a PJs and Movies Day with the whole family.” The others all responded with varying forms of yes. Roman looked at Virgil.

“Sounds good to me, Princey. But only if The Black Cauldron makes the list.” Patton bounced up with a giggle. He launched himself upstairs to get some extra pillows and blankets. Virgil stood too, coming off the stairs to stand with Roman by the TV. Logan moved off to the kitchen to prepare some snacks. Thomas went upstairs to help Patton and also to put on his pjs, the sides having snapped instantly into theirs.

“It can be first. But we are definitely watching a classic second. Cinderella.”

“I vote Aladdin third!” Thomas called down.

“Don’t forget Winnie The Pooh!” Patton responded from the top of the stairs.

“And Big Hero 6 if we may,” said Logan.

“Perfect!” Exclaimed Roman, “A day of favorites with all my favorites.” Virgil couldn’t keep the smile off his face. His new Spyro onesie was soft, warm, and comfortable. His family was all around him wearing their own onesies, save for Thomas (Virgil made a mental note to make sure Thomas got one, too at some point). It was the day after Christmas and for the first time in living memory Virgil felt like absolutely everything, down to the last minute detail, was perfect.

Part 2

1) Hey Saz, this is the person from Tink's long-ass 5-parter ask. This is going to be even longer. I'm on anon because of shyness above all things but I am willing to message you off anon if you want me to do so! I saw what you wrote about that ask and I agree.... to the most point. All the 'characteristics' of Destiel that differenciate it from other ships that you listed were actually applicable to some the ships I was talking about, especially Johnlock. -->

--> 2)The other ships, yes, you may be right, but for Johnlock I felt even more wronged intellectually when it crashed to the ground than I think I'll feel if the same thing happens to Destiel. I'm going to sound like a Johnlock shipping troll, but I'm not, I ran away from the mess of a fandom it became post-season 4. So bear with me. I really can't explain what my experience was at the time if you aren't familiar with tjlc and what the pre-season 4 sherlock fandom was like. -->

-->3)But let me assure you that it was extremely alike the spn/destiel fandom right now. I want to point out the similarities of the fandom and the ship but that would basically mean me explaining why Johnlock should have been canon, and I don't think you are here for that. So let me just point out a few things. By the end of the honest-to-god fanfic-y 3rd season, the GA were taking notice of it as well, to the point where, yes, the show is being called the worst queerbait ever even to this day.

--> 4)It frankly deserves it. And it was 2017.... we thought it was due fucking time. Guess it wasn't. When looking ay bibro blogs I can't help but be reminded of Johnlock antis. At least when that was a thing, you know, because you can't be an anti of something when it turns out you were right. We made fun of them, because how the fuck can you see jealousy at weddings, literally killing for the other the day they meet, -->

--> 5) having something secret to say that they can't bring themselves to say even after the other's death, being broken over the other's death TWO YEARS LATER AND ON THE DAY YOU FUCKING PROPOSE TO YOUR GF, prefering the other over your string of girlfriends, counting the texts a woman sent the other, COMING BACK TO LIFE AFTER LITERALLY FLATLINING BECAUSE THE OTHER IS IN DANGER, and, you know, constantly making both of them have shitty relationships and be unsatisfied romantically.... -->

.... and read it all as platonic? The show literally falls apart if you take away Johnlock... sounds familiar. You know, one of the writers for Sherlock is gay. So I believed in him, after all gay writers won't queerbait, how could they? (turns out they could.)......But I digress. I won't blame you if you just glossed over what I ranted above. Actually some of the reasons I'm still holding out hope for Destiel is 1) How atrocious the last season of Sherlock was, worst than Supernatral at its worst. 2) The sense that everything is coming full circle in this season(which we didn't get, btw, in even the last season of Sherlock). 3) Misha fucking Collins. And you know, although i heatedly ranted above in response to your response, I did it only because I wanted to justify what I spent near three years on. I didn't want to leave you thinking that a ship like this didn't exist before, because in my opinion, it did. So sorry. I was being spiteful.About the 'Greatest Love Stoty Ever Told', which was in fact the big fandom tagline for Johnlock as well....... I think I'll wait and see. If it is endgame, then I agree that it really is the greatest love story ever told. And I also agree that the show seems to be going that way

Hi Nonny, 

So this is all in relation to this post and I think that the easiest way to answer this is to say to anyone still doubting, including nonny, to just read the various replies and reblogs on that post, because the answers are perfect. 

Also nonny I know we have spoken in private already and you said that you were feeling better after reading the responses on that post as well so I won’t go into too much depth here, but I still wanted to post your asks in case there are still people out there feeling the way you do.

This is going to be my opinion on the matter, which, of course, is just that. There are many many people out there who were greatly upset by Sherlock and I feel for you all. Its not fair what happened and what that show put you through. Your feelings and your views on the matter are 100% valid and real and nothing that I say here is trying to contradict that. You saw a love story between those characters. That interpretation, like any interpretation of a text, is real and never let anyone say you were wrong. Johnlock still exists within the text of that show, just because it didn’t end with a kiss or a love confession doesn’t mean that it isn’t a valid reading. 

I started watching Sherlock before I ever got into Supernatural. When it came out in 2010 I LOVED it. My film student lizard brain picked up on the Johnlock subtext pretty much straight away and aside from some very brief thoughts of “ooh that would be a different spin on it” I didn’t pay much more attention. I continued to watch Sherlock second season in 2012 and again I noticed the subtext, but at this point recognised that it was all done for humorous purposes. I never thought they would go there. I didn’t “ship” it because I didn’t even know what “shipping” was at the time let alone thought John and Sherlock were more than friends who happen to get mistaken for a couple. That was the gag. It was what made my very typically straight male young brother giggle like an idiot because apparently being mistaken for gay was funny. (It’s not. I hate those jokes. They don’t work outside a Carry On film and I don’t even like Carry On films).

When season 3 came out in Jan 2014 I side eyed the series because I had had enough of the gay jokes. I thought it was getting weird and could see that there was a beautiful bond between the characters that imo was being twisted for cheap laughs. I pondered on whether this Sherlock was in fact in the closet, Were they trying to tell us that he was secretly gay? I didn’t get it because it was never clear enough to me that this was the case and yet they continued to play around with the concept whilst the character of John is off with his fiance. My brother continued to find the whole thing hilarious. It was never taken seriously. My musings on Sherlocks sexuality were pushed aside because it seemed clear to me that the writers were not taking it seriously.

Then over the summer of 2014 I binge watched 9 seasons of SPN. I struggled with seasons 1 and 2, made it through 3, watched 4 and fell in love with an Angel of the Lord. It took me 10 episodes to figure out Cas was gay. It took me a further 2 seasons of umming and ahhing in my own head to conclude that yes,  Dean was definitely Bisexual. It took until 6x20 to realise that this was legit something in the text and not my imagination. It took until season 8 for me to believe 100% that they were going there. (I wavered a bit on that belief in seasons 9 and 10 but season 11 pulled me back and I haven’t looked back since.)

In the early seasons, 4, 5 and 6, I recognised the patterns used between Dean and Cas were the same used in Sherlock. I re-watched Sherlock at some point in 2015 and remember thinking damn yeah they really were shoving the subtext in our faces a bit. But I still didn’t ship it, even though I was 100% shipping destiel at that point. I again pondered Sherlock’s sexuality, had a brief thought of “I’d like to see that take on the story” but again discarded any thought that it would actually be textual in a show that imo seemed adamant in keeping it all about the humour. If they weren’t going to take this characters sexuality seriously, then the story was never going to seriously be explored. 

See if Destiel had always remained the way it was in seasons 4, 5 and 6, then I wouldn’t have any belief that it was going canon. I would probably still ship it (the sexual tension in season 4 was insane) but the idea that it would go canon would have always been a pipe dream. So many shows use the queer subtext as a source of humour. So many shows tease their characters as queer and use homoeroticism for titillation. It delights my idiot brother to no end. I hate it. I think it desperately needs to stop. I have never ever watched an episode of Sherlock and thought that it was doing anything other than just that. (I didn’t particularly like the 4th season though because nothing made any bloody sense and I think they kind of butchered the characterisations - I did say this would all be my opinion though so please don’t take offence).

You say that the show falls apart if you take away the romantic love story and make it platonic. I guess if I was to watch it again I could try to consider that reading, but my own experience watching seasons 1-3 is certainly not from a romantic view point and it all made sense to me. Season 4 didn’t make sense at all, and by the time that was on I was deep in destiel fandom and frequently writing meta, so I DID see the romantic reading in the text and yet still didn’t understand the story. (Again, I stress this is my opinion and is in no way trying to invalidate your own). However, with Destiel, the last three and a bit seasons narratively don’t work without it. I have tried to watch them and ignore every romantic moment, or hint at a romantic love between them, and in doing so, it confuses the fucking plot. I need to sit down and catalogue all the ways seasons 10 to 13 don’t work without destiel to evidence this but it would be a pretty epic job because there are ALOT. 

I understand that you feel that Johnlock and Destiel are similar ships, but my opinion is that they drastically diverted course from each other when SPN went into its eighth season. Since then, there has been nothing quite like destiel in terms of build up and story structure - unless you start comparing it to the straight ships.

Where we are right now, destiel is deeply ingrained into the narrative of the show, and it is never used as a gag. It is never poked fun of in a way that reduces Dean and Cas’s relationship. Something that I believe Sherlock did right up until its last episode. I also 100% believe that the SPN creators and cast have a much greater respect and love for their fans than the Sherlock writers and cast ever did. (I’m not much of a fan of Bendydick Cucumberpatch and I have never been comfortable with Steve Moffat... dunno why the guy just gives me the creeps (then again so does Bob Singer)). They have been so positive towards Destiel recently that I am constantly stunned whenever new media or PR comes out. I am also of the belief that someone as wonderful as Misha Collins who is a champion for the LGBT community and cares deeply about making the world a better place would never ever involve himself in something that if it didn’t happen, would be considered the biggest queerbait in TV history. Breaking the hearts and severely angering millions of fans all over the world. Misha is a very smart man. He knows exactly how much this means to us and what it will do to us if it doesn’t happen. He doesn’t exactly look worried though. He doesn’t ever look like he is guilty over encouraging this ship? He looks like a fucker who knows whats up and can’t wait til we finally get to be in on the joke so he can tweet about it 24/7.

If destiel doesn’t happen, then Misha, of all people.... well... I’d have to rethink my entire opinion of him... the idea is so unfathomable for me, so impossible, it hurts my head to even consider. Did you ever feel this way about BC or Martin Freeman? 

I just can’t believe that the people behind SPN would do that to us, but the people behind Sherlock? Well it didn’t exactly surprise me when it didn’t go canon. The BBC isn’t exactly known for being progressive. It’s known for playing it safe. If Sherlock was on Channel 4 I reckon they would have gone there. The Channel 4 execs probably would have encouraged it from the start. They would have considered it ‘edgy’. 

I know that the CW isn’t exactly the most progressive network either, but its a young network, with a younger demo compared to the grumpy old pensioners who sit and watch BBC every night and complain that their tax payer money shouldn’t be going towards anything other than gardening shows and Eastenders. Soooo I think that has something to do with it too. The CW has a greater chance of pulling something like this off. 

I’m so so sorry that Sherlock burned you. But don’t give up hope on destiel just yet, the factors are all currently in our favour. No two ships are alike, and in my opinion, Destiel is the motherfucking Symphony of the Seas compared to all others. It’s bigger, better, and hopefully, due for launch in Spring 2018.

Hey Haddock, I've seen your tlj-opinions and I wanted to have your stance on things that made it unsatisfying to me. 1) The Scene where Rey flies to the Finalizer. It just seemed stupid to me and just something to make the plot work 2) Do you think, that it would've made more sense for Poe to save Finn than Rose (even tho she earned her hero moment). Poe learned what Rose told Finn at the beginning of the film, it could have shown his growth as a character

Part II 3) the treatment of Kylo and Finns wounds aka. Kylo gets multiple mentions about the healing processs of his teeny-tiny injury, while Finn who took a fucking lightsaber to the back and was in a coma is fine the moment he woke up. I share your opinion that tlj was just ‘okay’ it felt to much like a reylo-fanboydream and overlooked to many of the other characters (Finn) Hope your having a good day

This ask and my response contain spoilers to TLJ.

Hey there! Hope you have a great day as well! Glad to chat with you about TLJ, especially since we do share the similar overall impression that it was an okay film. Thanks for messaging me! Even when people have differing overall impressions, I love talking about the new Star Wars movie with them to learn their perspectives, thoughts, analyses, and feelings. For some reason there’s always a lot to talk about after the latest SW release. I’ll admit since I’ve only seen it once (as probably have most people at this point), I can’t give very detailed or accurate perspectives all the time, but I’ll do my best!

I do agree that while there is more than a decent amount of material that can make Reylo shippers happy (I think these scenes were written well though), and while I do agree that there was a lot of focus and content to arcs like Kylo Ren, I do think there was fine character balance as far as screentime was concerned, so I don’t think they were overlooking anyone that way. Rey and Luke, of course, had plenty of screen time. Poe’s character arc was a well-written, given much attention, and central to the greatest, most central plot problem in the movie: that of keeping the rebel forces alive under fire. The presence of original trilogy characters like C-3PO, Chewbacca, and Leia, while nice additions, aren’t necessary for the new trilogy, and thus don’t need as much screen time, so I’m happy with what we got (especially since Leia did get her moments to shine, and she was going to be more central in XI when they were producing VIII). As for Finn and Rose, they were given a lot of time on screen, too.

Where I think the feeling of “overlooking” comes from is by the disparity of quality between each characters’ arcs. As I mentioned in the last post, Finn’s not well characterized. We can talk about how the casino run was important to developing his character and understanding of the importance of the rebellion to free all people, but there’s something to be said it’s not good conjunction with what was written in TFA; it’s a little bit of a back-and-forth, with Finn regressing, or suddenly regaining opinions and beliefs about freedom fighting, etc. I see where the intended characterization is meant to be in TFA and TLJ, but it’s executed inconsistently, in spurts, in backtracks, and in… well… inconsistency.

So that makes it feel like Finn is overlooked. Maybe we could extend the same thing to Rose - I’ve seen others make that argument - though I personally am more fine with how Rose was handled. Not perfect, but I felt she was integrated more smoothly into TLJ regarding her characterization, motivation, personality, and the like. I’d also like a little bit more depth with Rey, but I don’t think that there was anything about the storyline skimping her. Poe, again, was written extremely well, as was Kylo Ren. So out of all the main characters, I’d say that the only character who I personally would call “overlooked” is Finn, and that in terms of how his personality is handled, not in how much time he gets on screen. Finn’s character I believe deserves better writing, and hopefully they can give that attention in the final film.

For numbers 1 and 3 that you mentioned, I probably would have to rewatch TLJ (and TFA). For #1 especially, I barely remember that moment, so I’m sorry that I can’t talk about it.

Now… about number two. I agree with you completely. I do feel as though it would be far more cohesive in the storytelling scaffolding to make Poe be the one saving Finn at the end. I sniffed out the Rose-Finn romance in the first two minutes they interacted with each other on screen, so I’m not surprised they gave this sacrificial love moment to Rose. However, it didn’t feel as natural of a move (given her and Finn’s storyline) compared to the lesson that Finn learned.

Exactly as you said: Poe’s big learning moment in TLJ was that the cost of life can be more important than winning a battle. A victory may be achieved by sacrificing life, but those lives are worth living, and if they die now, they can’t fight another day. There are times when taking cautionary moves - rather than winning battles - is what’s most needed. They even have Poe make a comment of this ideology during the fight while Finn comes up with his idea to do a sacrificial flight to the death. It would have been such a powerful moment to see Poe jump in to do the exact opposite of what led him into trouble in the opening scene. Not to mention… TFA built up a good friendship between Finn and Poe. It would have been a great token to keep that going in a scene like this. We still see Poe learn his lesson, but it would have driven the point so much more home if he had been the one to save Finn’s life.

Rose and Finn’s love can be expressed in a number of ways, and it didn’t need to be through Rose’s gesture here. There are many different ways where she can make a bold, heroic gesture on screen that grooves well with the rest of the story’s plot. It is nice to see a main woman character save a main male character (going against the stereotypical grain of the damsel in distress), and they could totally keep that… while also allowing Poe to manifest in full the power of his lesson. 

Not to mention… in terms of romances developing… Leia and Han had a bit slower of a development, so we could have had Rose make a more obvious romantic gesture in XI.

#2 isn’t a big issue that bothers me. To be honest, what bothers me a little more is the concept of Rose charging out to sacrifice herself to save Finn’s life… but ultimately us getting no impacting consequence from it. She survives, Finn survives, in a weird way, it almost feels anti-climactic to me, like there’s no big sense of main-characters-legitimately-in-danger. That’s a weird thing for me to say, especially given that TLJ demonstrated a lot of death, and even scenes of seemingly premature death scenes (Snoke, for one). A charge like this where nobody dies can totally be well-done and impacting. For many of my friends, it was exactly that. For some reason, for me it feels as though it was less… exciting? …because I didn’t have this expectation that either Finn or Rose were in danger. It makes Rose’s gesture, Finn’s gesture, and the full scene less meaningful to me. Again, that’s a weird qualm for me to say, and I’d probably have to rewatch TLJ to articulate this with more clarity and explanation.

It’s interesting to hear about the things that made you feel a little unsatisfied, since they were things that in some instances I didn’t pay much attention to. It gives me a new perspective from which to look at TLJ. Lots of plot and logic elements I felt were weakly executed, and I think that you and I both feel that, even as we latched onto different facets of film. So thanks again for sending this to me! It’s an interesting discussion.

What is Star Wars about, really? It’s a good question, one we’ve pondered for 42 years. Star Wars is so broad, so dense, and at times so frustratingly transparent, that you can graft just about any sort of meaning onto it. And yet, its mass appeal is often distilled to one word: Star Wars is about hope. But what does it mean to have hope?

Everyone will offer a different answer. Hope can mean defiance in the face of adversity. It can mean happily ever afters. It can mean togetherness, family, friendship–those little things worth fighting for, even knowing they’re temporary. At its best, Star Wars captures that, freezing tiny moments of hope in amber. Luke, Leia, and Han hugging after the destruction of the Death Star. Anakin Skywalker clutching the face of his pregnant wife, Padmé. Finn and Poe escaping the tyrannical First Order.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, the final film in this epic saga, is meant to tie a bow on the franchise, which began with A New Hope. Reasonably, one would expect those messages to come through more elegantly and emotionally than ever before. But the result is instead a sad case of confused identity. It’s a film that thinks it’s doing what it needs to, while ultimately delivering a series of rushed, soulless, and ill-defined points of logic. It’s “hopeful” if your idea of hope is tragic and cyclical to the point of feeling regurgitated. There are moments of optimism immediately staked through in heart in favor of “the next big set piece.” It’s a cruel and unsatisfying ending to a forty-year legacy, and one that feels openly critical of itself and everything it stands for, but shrugs its way to the finish line instead.

The Disney era of Lucasfilm was fit more for profit than integrity from the get-go, and the need to rush out a new episodic film loaded with the original’s stars felt as bankable as it was inevitable. Suffice it to say, the Star Wars sequel trilogy attracted critics, but the first two films shuffled through a variety of production woes to successful, appealing conclusions. J.J. Abrams’ The Force Awakens paired a new cast of characters with our legacy trio–Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), Han Solo (Harrison Ford), and Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher)–creating a spark of whimsical magic that overshadowed its derivative setbacks. Rian Johnson delivered a wild animal of a sequel with The Last Jedi , a surprising and frankly revolutionary studio blockbuster that turned the series’ larger story on its head. It was as divisive as it was fertile with big, new, promising ideas. The film ended with the Force decentralized from a few exclusive bloodlines and democratized, reigniting hope in the galaxy.

Unfortunately, The Rise of Skywalker picks up on none of those loose threads. The film begins with a flippant dismissal of many if not all of The Last Jedi‘s themes. The opening crawl explains that Emperor Palpatine has inexplicably returned (and I do mean inexplicably–we never learn how), and has been orchestrating the First Order experiment from the beginning. Somehow, he groomed Ben Solo into Kylo Ren from afar, and now locks his sights on Rey from Jakku, our unruly, orphaned Force user and Kylo’s counterpart. From the outset, Abrams shrinks the Star Wars universe back down to a more immediately interconnected, even insular size. Palpatine is back because, uh, sure, why not?

The story plays out as antagonistically as that. Abrams, returning as co-writer/director to replace Colin Trevorrow, demonstrates a bewildering sense of his audience’s wants and needs. Does he think we don’t care about the mysterious resurrection of the saga’s most selfish and mystifying villain? Is he purposely leaving gaps in the story for canon material to fill in? Did he think a single thing out beyond “looks cool, feels OK, boom, bang?” Who knows. But the movie opens with the reintroduction of Palpatine, them immediately launches us into the Millennium Falcon, where Finn (John Boyega) and Poe (Oscar Isaac) quickly discover that there’s a mole in the First Order. We’re then teleported to a new Resistance base where Leia trains Rey (Daisy Ridley) in the ways of the Force. Before we’re oriented in this location, we’re shuffled into another adventure jam-packed with MacGuffins, whirlygigs, and ultimately dead ends.

The adventure is poorly defined and confusing, but Abrams doesn’t expect us to be smart. He’s content to race through every would-be meaningful moment at the quickest possible pace, exploiting that whiplash effect to distract us from the story’s garbled plotting. We know that our heroes are on a race to find Palpatine, and are looking for something called a “wayfinder” that will lead them to his location. There are only two wayfinders, and Kylo Ren finds the other one in an opening scene. Abrams creates a sense of urgency, but we don’t really know why, and no one seems convincingly terrified that the universe is on the brink of absolute annihilation. At least the original trilogy only featured one Death Star at a time, and developed centralized locations that defined personal stakes and brewed emotion. This film has a whole army of planet-destroying ships, locations with no names or personalities, and characters previously emphasized who are here utterly left to the wind.

And that’s the real failure of The Rise of Skywalker. It mishandles literally every character, except, arguably, C-3PO. Rey gets tacked onto a legacy story that erodes the entire thematic heart of not just The Last Jedi, but even Abrams’ own The Force Awakens. By some disgusting leap of imagination, she’s Palpatine’s granddaughter. Rey’s parents weren’t actually alcoholics who sold her for drinking money (a bit never reconciled), but good people who loved her enough to protect her from Gramps, and apparently, themselves. Finn (John Boyega) is suddenly and inexplicably Force sensitive, which is a nice little treat and possible nod to the end of The Last Jedi, but is only really employed to detect when Rey’s in peril. Outside of one nice moment with Jannah (Naomi Ackie), a fellow defected stormtrooper he meets on the road, his arc from indentured villain to Rebel hero goes largely unaddressed. Worse, even his relationship with Poe feels weirdly underdeveloped.

Poe (Oscar Isaac), meanwhile, is very much “present,” but that’s really all he is. He became something of a de facto leader at the end of The Last Jedi, but Abrams fails to hint at any sense of real authority or growth here. He bickers with Rey and continues to act like a self-important flyboy, echoing a roguish Han Solo-esque fearlessness, but where his presence is maximized, his importance really isn’t. His story and Leia’s should be more interconnected after she taught him a valuable lesson last time around, but the loss of Carrie Fisher unfortunately obstructs his development as a character. Using a mishmash of unused footage from The Force Awakens, they try to conjure her spirit elsewhere, but it doesn’t totally work. That said, the movie at least attempts to do right by her legacy.

Further, Leia’s death in the film helps create two of its best moments. She uses a last ounce of strength to send Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) a memory of his father, Han, who reappears with some paternal advice. It should be a silly moment, but tonally it absolutely works, sold completely by the fine work of Ford and Driver. As father and son reconnect, Kylo Ren finally transforms back into Ben Solo–he tosses his jagged lightsaber into the abyss and goes off to save Rey, who he loves. This whole sequence is preceded by a lightsaber duel where Kylo is left mortally wounded; Rey heals him, and confesses her feelings for the man he could be. Love–and hope–seem temporarily destined to win.

And they do… sort of? The third act is where The Rise of Skywalker totally loses sight of everything it’s trying to be. Rey is drawn into Palpatine’s lair, and there’s a lot of business about Sith and Jedi that doesn’t really make sense. Above them, the war between the “Final Order” (Palpatine’s new name for the galactic baddies) and the Resistance rages, a total lazy mirror to the end of Return of the Jedi. Palpatine wants to funnel his strength into Rey via some ancient ritual, but Ben shows up. Ben and Rey fight together against Palpatine, Rey summons the spirit of all of the Jedi who ever lived, and she beats her grandpa with his own superpower (in a very Harry Potter-esque showdown) before dying. Ben uses the last of his life power to resurrect her–a nice mirror of their Death Star scene earlier in the film–and they kiss. But he then dies, leaving Rey once again as the galaxy’s only real Force of hope. She temporarily reunites with the Resistance–who defeated the Final Order with the help of Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams), appearing in the movie just long enough to serve as a deus ex machina–before jetting off to Tatooine. And finally, Rey takes on the last name Skywalker and sees Luke and Leia’s Force ghosts. The end.

Unbelievably, a lot more happens than that. Abrams introduces Zorii Bliss (Keri Russell), a fun, masked ex-fling of Poe’s who’s super cool but completely inconsequential to the plot. Kelly Marie Tran’s Rose Tico effectively takes a Resistance desk job, which feels particularly insulting after everything she accomplished in The Last Jedi. There are more “Force Skype” scenes between Rey and Kylo, and Rey confronts her own inner darkness, manifested in “Dark Rey,” while Abrams introduces a cute new droid named D-O, and throws a lot of other random things at the wall that never stick (like a visit with the ghost of Luke Skywalker during a temporary detour to Ahch-To). It’s as messy as it is ambitious, and Abrams and co-writer Chris Terrio’s deserve some credit for spinning such a clotted web that you’re frequently distracted from all of the holes in it.

But then there’s the whole hope thing. And there’s really no cohesive sense of it here. As a series-ender, this story should resonate more than it does. The Last Jedi contends with the past more, and better, than Skywalker does; it wrestled with the sins of the Jedi and Sith, and kicked open a bigger door for generations to come. Skywalker says nothing about where they, or we, go from here. It ends with Rey abandoned and alone, except for her Force ghost friends, on another desert planet. The one person in the galaxy who ever understood her dies. And he evidently doesn’t redeem himself successfully enough to become a Force ghost. Is death really the only avenue to peace and purpose? Effectively, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, and Leia Organa all died to save Ben, who then died to save Rey. What is her next step? The movie doesn’t say, or seem to know. It’s a domino effect, with nothing but tragedy at the end of every spill.

That idea could work if the moments in between felt rewarding, or the losses served larger narrative or thematic ideas. But in this story, meant to be a conclusion to a single film, a trilogy and a nine-film saga, they don’t. Rey, Finn, and Poe share only a superficial sense of camaraderie. Their future adventures will lead to moments of happiness and enlightenment along the way. But why does Abrams ignore or de-emphasize those feelings? In The Rise of Skywalker, hope is little more than a ghost. And after more than 40 years, it’s one that Star Wars is still chasing, with no real end in sight.

Personal Shopper

'Personal Shopper' may start with a cliché from any ghost story: a cloudy, dreary kind of day, a big terrain on which there stands an old gothic mansion. But if you came for an old-fashioned ghost story with loud bangs and jump scares, 'Personal Shopper' will inevitably terribly disappoint. In director Olivier Assayas's world, we are immediately assured that the ghosts are a palpable reality.

We see something in the beginning, in the opening sequence, (someone arriving at a big old creepy mansion) that at first feels dangerously cliché, a part of me couldn't help but think, I've seen all of this before, haven't I? Well, I had to shush myself fairly quickly.  I thought we were going to see a fragile, scared young woman who would have to survive living in a haunted house and convince others of the fact that there were indeed ghosts in the great big, lonely house and not just demons in her head.  It immediately tells us the woman locks herself up in the house on purpose: her twin brother died, of the heart condition she shared with him. Both are mediums meaning that they can communicate, with ghosts and the beyond and all that jazz and they made a promise that if one died, the other would send a sign as proof of the afterlife, that they were ok. And that's why she's seemingly not afraid in a house all of us would pee our pants in because she wants to make contact with his spirit, is intensely hoping for it.   Maureen is also far from the stereotypical, amulet draped film medium. She's just an average American, 20 something, she wears baggie, non-flashy, comfy clothes (but boy do those ever look good on Stewart!) copes with an unhealthy smoking condition that's probably not helping her heart addiction, and she doesn't like her job. Aside from the fact that she can communicate with spirits, she's at first seemingly devoid of any personality. The kind of person that wouldn't stand out from a crowd, she's completely mumblecore. It almost is something that if it weren't for the ghost would seem like a boring basis for a story, it sounds like I just described a very boring woman, so why would you wanna watch a whole film of her?  Well because soon enough,we discover why she is in Paris, and it’s especially when we watch her interact with the world around her, Stewart outplays an iPhone here and makes the device into an eerie, threatening costar but I'll touch on that later...  Early on we discover why she is in Paris and how she sustains herself. She is in Paris, specifically because she wishes to contact her brother in that old house, it's her number one obsession, she won't leave there and resume a normal life, won't live her life until she hears from him. So Paris is simply the opportunity to hopefully make contact with her twin, and logically she expects to do that in the house he died in. She stays in that house and has created a little niche in the great big house for herself, a little space of hers. She sustains herself by working for a spoiled, celebrity, that makes her run around in Paris, even London to pick up obscenely expensive, designer clothes, but has forbidden Maureen from trying them on. And in the meantime, she's also working as the medium for a French couple that wants to buy the house and is sure that there are no ghosts in it.   Maureen hates the job and sees it only as a way to establish that contact with her brother she is so obsessed about, as she even says 'I'm waiting', only willing to resume her own life once she has established that contact. But in the meantime her life resembles, an hour of waiting at the doctor on an infinite repeat, it's a lonely sad, picture. And I think that is somewhat the point of the film. Many people have gone on various theories, trying to explain 'Personal Shopper' and it's many twists, and plotlines that are seemingly not cohesive, and how it all connects to the somewhat ambiguous, difficult to interpret the open ending. I think that 'Personal Shopper' can have an interpretation that's different for each of us. I won't say I had a completely clear understanding of it, but that doesn't matter, I think more than anything 'Personal Shopper' is about grief and how not having been able to let go, has stopped the person from living. She is seen as somewhat upset, whens she discovers that the French girlfriend of her brother, has struck up a new relationship and has been able to let him go, even as she claims she still loves him, Maureen seems to want to, but she can't, she's still quite literally haunted. And I think like in all of us (in some more in others less) from an inherent fear of death, we’ve probably all wondered what happens when we die, or if you’re really sinister you might even have wondered how it is you will die.

I myself have a sometimes recurring nightmare in which I die (not that I’ve attached much meaning to it or try to interpret it much) but it just goes to show that it is something that passes the conscioous and subconcious of all of, even you’re still about to just turn 20 like I am. 

Maureen wants contact with her brother as a sign of the existence of the afterlife, she wants to know that he's ok, perhaps as a reassurance to know that it'll be all ok once she dies as well. Some have speculated on whether Maureen herself is her own ghost (according to some she dies at one point in the film) but I'm not going to delve into any of the theories.  'Personal Shopper' is a ghost story, but a 21st-century one, gothic blends perfectly between the modern, stylish world of luxury clothes and couture, one minute you're in a designer store, the next you're in and old creaky house, and it doesn't feel weird or out of context. 'Personal Shopper'  is a ghost story, like I said but it really isn't. At least not in the flashy sense, there's one intense scene in which Kristen Stewart flees the house after she's been confronted with a spirit, that she's sure isn't her brother, in a trembling voice she utters “you’re not my brother” she exuded such an intensity and such a genuine cowering fear here that I could almost hear my heart pumping.  But that's one of the few instances of true horror. 'Personal Shopper is more than a ghost story, it's a film about loneliness, about not belonging. About living but not really living, living an empty meaningless, ungratifying existence while you're still alive, being dead while you're alive. It's about how living in the modern world can be numbing at times, which as is hinted at here ultimately comes from an inability to appreciate the world around us; Maureen drives around Paris on a motorcycle, a few times we see her having genuine fun, but mostly the beautiful city around her escapes her. If we had no idea that Maureen was a  medium and that she was in Paris to investigate her brother's death if there were no ghosts at all. I'd say we were watching an ill woman, a woman that suffers from a debilitating, soul-numbing depression, a woman that doesn't love life anymore and it's very likely that she does suffer from depression. The way I described her earlier made her sound boring, but it isn't that she doesn't have any joy in her life or interests. She's interested in art. We get to see her watching a documentary on an abstract artist, we even see her draw the big house, and they're not bad drawings either, she could do something with it... But she doesn't the will isn't there. Mostly she just shifts through life, like an anonymous entity, like a ghost herself. And like I said earlier it all comes from an inability to connect with the world and people around her, it's not at all implied that it's all her fault, she is not the one being criticized here, but rather modern communication and the at times isolating way in which we shift through the world nowadays. Her iPhone earbuds, seem to have grown to her like they're an extra limb of her body, why does need to hear some sort of noise almost the entire time? There's even her cigarette smoking vice, anything to keep her distracted from the world around her, and possibly her own thoughts, maybe if she didn't she would go crazy... Even the communication with her American boyfriend, who is in Oman for his job, feels deeply impersonal and unsatisfying, she ignores his Skype calls, this signifies something seriously wrong, most of us would be looking forward to the prospect of talking to our partner. And when they do Skype, the scenes create an unease in us as the viewer, we're not watching two people that seem to get along great, or that even know what to say to each other. There's a scene in which Maureen cries, during the Skype, on his part, there is no real effort to console, he is merely annoyed. It's good they weren't wasting money on expensive, international phone calls, it absolutely wouldn't have been worth the money... The only palpable real contact is with the girlfriend of her brother, here we see someone that knows a lot about Maureen, that seems to genuinely like her and care about her. Even the woman she works for, she only gets to actually see once, if you said everybody in this thing is a ghost, I actually would buy that. And yet I dare say there is still joy and spark and lust for life in Maureen. Even if I wasn't always quite sure she actually was alive, but there are certainly moments that she lives up, and in those, we see a ghost of the sparkling, bubbly, young woman that she could be. Which brings me to when I mentioned that Kristen outshines, her costar the iPhone here. What every woman dreads happens to Maureen, and rarely have I ever during any film felt such a displaced anxiety and fear, you're afraid for her, it's because the scenario is realistic, it could happen.  Your phone lights, it's a message from an unknown number, it says "I know you.", which is then quickly followed by "And you know me", now knowing Maureen's situation, I initially thought like I think pretty much anyone that saw it assumed that it was perhaps her brother contacting her. But the texts soon take a sinister turn, what brother would send his sister "I want you.", and " And I will have you." That would be some dysfunctional shit...  Most women would in this scenario probably just the block the number. Maureen doesn't, she even becomes somewhat intrigued. She's having some contact that seems real, scary but it feels real to her... Someone is actually expressing an interest in her. Quickly a sort of creepy texting/flirting begins. Where Maureen is initially scared, she quickly loosens up even becomes somewhat playful. Whoever the person behind the phone is, is challenging her, is making her do things that would normally scare her, and she gets a kick out of them. It's trying on the clothes of her employer because she's expressly forbidden to do so, and Maureen in those instances looks like someone else, perhaps even feels like someone else. She types in "No desire when it's not forbidden." She later masturbates in of the clothes, on her employers, something she'd never have allowed, and that's why she seems to be doing it because it's something that's naughty, that she's not supposed to do, and she finds it exhilirating.  In the background here there's the creepier idea, she tells phone person that she did everything minus the getting her rocks off part, but why would she tell this to someone she doesn't know? Because she expects a seductive answer, almost like she wants to be played  with, since it almost feels like she's putting on a show. We technically don't know it's a  man, but somehow it just clicks that the person behind them is not a woman, we later literally find out who it was. However, if you've been a somewhat attentive viewer, you'll probably have gotten there yourself. That performance, doing something that she shouldn't be doing, also the possible thrill of someone finding out livens her up. She seemingly doesn't do much here but an interact with a phone, and yet she's brilliant in every scene with the phone, her face conveys every emotion we've all felt when we were on our phones. The excitement of getting a new text, even the flirty ridiculous smile, when a conversation steers in a direction that's a bit different. We've faced frustration, even disgust. We've all panicked when the person suddenly stopped replying, why are they not answering me? What did I do? I’ve scared him/her off for good right?  The read option has never seemed so scary, so ominous. the anonymous texter starts to send her threats, Maureen panics and starts firing panicked text after panicked text, and then, the person simply stops replying, while having read the messages. It's to make clear she no longer has the upper hand. Perhaps disconnection made her an easy target, someone with ill intent, that could sense she was vulnerable and desperate for contact and abused that. Maybe Maureen was so tired of living like a ghost, that she tried to reach out in the most dangerous way, in the way that would endanger her life. that's a truly scary thought.... Considered, deleting my Whatsapp for a mere matter of seconds, my phone suddenly seemed like a really scary device. As I watched 'Personal Shopper' with a friend, she remarked: It's a weird role for her, I don't imagine Kristen Stewart with an urge to try on other people's clothes. And there's some sense in that, she does look oddly not like herself like she's more at home in her own clothes, and like she's not at home, in that world of luxury and glamor. But yet it also fits, here's a person that's hurt, struggling with herself and tired, and at one point she quite literally answers yes to the question “do you want to be someone else”?. Perhaps it's not so much so literally about being someone else, as about being someone that isn't lost, someone that's got a clear purpose, a clear path to walk in life, someone that is actually out there, actually living. If I would have to describe 'Personal Shopper in just a few sentences, I'd have to say it's about anonymity, about existing, but not living, about going through this world like a ghost. Which why Assayas perhaps decided to let the world of luxury boutiques and a haunted, old French gothic mansion converge with one another.   And it all works actually, never do you get the sense that you're watching something chaotic. It's a stylish, yet cold and clinical world, and you wouldn't want to be in it. But I do believe that the film wouldn't have worked without Kristen Stewart. Kristen Stewart plays a woman here that could be endlessly boring had she been played by a lesser actress because it just at times seems like not much is going at all with her. Yet she has an intensely physical performance here, her face tells us all at times, she's highly transparent, and she makes it seem like it's the easiest thing in the world. Which is why some people probably say that Stewart can't act, that Stewart is just being Stewart in a room where there happens to be a camera. Yet it's probably a lot more difficult than it looks. Stewart demands you to keep your eyes on her, yet she never has an overbearing, over dramatic intensity to her that makes it really obvious that she is acting. She always seems natural and calm, until she isn't, and when she isn't it seems to come naturally from within her, and when she was afraid in that house and panicked and screamed, you felt her fear I was reminded of some of the cinema's most well-respected scream queen performances. All I can really add now that is that I hope this is one of much more to come collaborations between Stewart and Assayas, the two just seem to get each other, and work well with each other, up until now the result has been two great films. You could even argue that 'Personal Shopper' is a bit of a companion to 'Clouds Over Sils Maria', in that one Stewart very likely ghosted her boss, because she made her feel like a mere shadow to her star. 

“L'idée centrale du spiritualisme, c'est qu'il existe un monde au-delà du notre.”