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#if i have to get back on this soap box again im gonna start chasing people with my wizard staff while throwing dubia roaches at them
pollinatedpansy · 4 months
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Just a random FYI to anyone who cares, I'm a weird little gender anarchist trans freak thing and if you have any attraction to me that makes you gay (blanket term) regardless of who you are, hope that helps 😁
For anyone who wants to feel my wrath/understand what the fuck I'm talking about please read the tags, you should get the jist 💕
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sunlit-squid · 3 years
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(simping softness prompts) could i get some “hey, everything's gonna be fine. stay where you are, i'm on my way” or “holy crap, i thought you were dead! never do that to me again!” if you are feeling so inclined? sorry im just in love w ur writing
For those who don't know, my ask box is open. Send me a simping softness prompt, and I'll write a short sbsp ficlet for you. ✰
i'm gonna do "hey, everything's gonna be fine ...", but don't you worry. i will also be doing "holy crap ..." at some point, since someone else requested it.
anyway, thanks for the prompt, and for the kind words! while we're here, i should also say that @wowthwtslame is doing a similar ficlet challenge. their writing is wonderful, so definitely check them out!
also tagging @azumeowth, who requested the same prompt!
ficlet under the cut. thanks again!
The call came in -- loudly -- at around 2 in the morning.
When Squidward rolled over to check his shell phone, the dull blue screen read, simply, “SpongeBrat”, accompanied by a vomit emoji. Sighing, the octopus put his phone on silent and went back to bed. Surely whatever it was the sponge wanted to blabber about could wait until tomorrow. After a decent night’s sleep.
Unfortunately, sleep was hard to come by. Despite having switched his phone to silent, the device’s small blue screen continued to light up repeatedly, like a small, pathetic rave. Every few seconds, the small blue light cast peculiar shadows on the walls of Squidward’s bedroom. Eventually, after thirty minutes of tossing and turning, the cephalopod grabbed his phone to shove it inside the nightstand -- when he caught a glimpse of the screen itself.
43 missed calls. 37 unread text messages. All from “SpongeBrat” Squarepants.
The phone rang again. This time, Squidward picked up.
“Spongebob, do you have any idea what time it is?” snapped Squidward, despite the uncomfortable, worried feeling growing in his stomach. “No? Well, I’ll tell you -- it is two-forty-seven --”
“I-I know, Squidward,” came a small, shaking Spongebob-voice. “I just -- I didn’t know what to do.”
Squidward paused. Well, that was … not the regular Spongebob volume. Or tone. Or pitch.
“Squ -- Squidward?” came the sponge’s soft, sad voice once more. The frycook’s voice was barely audible. There was some sort of loud, constant whooshing happening on the other end, not to mention a weird crackling noise, which made it very difficult to hear. Squidward sighed, wiping a tentacle across his eyes.
“I’m here,” said Squidward. “What’s this about, Spongebob?”
Silence. Then, crying -- and not Spongebob’s usual loud, obnoxious crying. This crying was quiet and gentle, barely decipherable against the loud whooshing on the other end of the line. Squidward sat up then, pressing the phone close to his ear.
“Sponge,” said Squidward, panic rising in his chest. “Sponge, what’s wrong?”
Spongebob sobbed something indiscernible. Then, he stammered, “I’m -- I’m hurt, Squidward. I’m hurt, and … I’m lost.”
Something funny exploded in Squidward’s chest. Before he knew it, the octopus was out of bed, scrambling for his jacket and keys. Gripping his shell phone tight, Squidward asked, “Where are you? What’s going on, Spongebob?”
On the other end of the line, Spongebob snuffled. “I got on the wrong bus,” he explained, in a shaky, uneven voice. “I -- I’m in a place called ‘Deviltown’ now, and the current is so strong, and the signal is pretty bad --” There was that distorted, crackling sound again -- followed by a few more broken whimpers.
Squidward sighed, feeling his hearts crack with every little sob. “Hey, everything’s going to be fine,” he said, stepping out the door and into the cool Bikini Bottom night. “Stay where you are. I’m on my way.”
-0-
Deviltown, it turned out, was several hours away from Bikini Bottom. Squidward’s shell phone indicated the drive not only went straight, but downward -- which was certainly a problem. Oceanic towns grew more and more dangerous the deeper you went, and Deviltown was apparently thousands of nautical leagues under the sea. Wherever Spongebob was, even the sun couldn’t reach him.
Undeterred, Squidward set off on his journey. His boat was constantly maintained, so the cephalopod was certain it could handle the perilous road ahead.
For the first hour or so, the drive was uneventful -- peaceful, even. The streets were smooth and well taken care of, which was good considering the massive tax hike this past year. Squidward even put on some Kelpy G, which certainly helped to soothe his nerves.
Later on, however, the drive got worse. The once well-maintained roads gave way to rickety rocks and slippery sand, with only a few sporadic road signs to get by. Moonlight became sparse, and by the time Squidward reached a vertical road, he had his brights all the way up -- and was still struggling to see.
A nearby rickety sign read “Deviltown, 10 nautical miles downward.” Peering down into the deep abyss, Squidward gulped. Despite his headlights, he still couldn’t see a thing -- just a vast expanse of open blackness.
A tight feeling wound itself around Squidward’s chest. He thought about backing up, turning around, and going straight home. This was ridiculous. Why was he out here, in the wee hours of the morning, chasing after SpongeBrat Squarepants, of all people? The boy had other friends. Certainly one of them would be willing to retrieve him.
Squidward’s tentacle hovered just over the gear stick. That’s when he saw it: in his passenger seat lay Spongebob’s wrinkled little jacket. The sponge must have left it behind the other day, when Squidward (begrudgingly) drove them both home from work.
Squidward’s chest felt hollow, suddenly. He thought of how many times he’d seen Spongebob in that exact jacket over the years.
He thought of never seeing him in that jacket ever again.
Groaning, the octopus switched gears from “Drive” to “Drive, But Downward”, and puttered his way into the deep and black abyss.
-0-
The journey into the inky black was, bar none, one of the creepiest things Squidward had ever experienced. He told himself, repeatedly, that if he just stared straight ahead and focused on the task at hand, then everything would be fine. Still, hearing creepy noises in the darkness (and being unable to see where they came from) was severely unsettling.
After what felt like forever, the vertical road became horizontal once again, and Squidward finally drove into Deviltown. Luckily, the town had the decency to set up some lamp posts, possibly for out-of-towners like Squidward who were unused to the darkness. Still, the lamp posts were few and far between, and there was nobody out and about, giving Deviltown a fittingly creepy vibe nonetheless.
Tense, cold, and worried, Squidward drove further into town, squinting for Spongebob’s bright yellow body. Surely the boy couldn’t be that hard to spot -- he was likely the only vibrant thing down here. Surely --
Oh. Oh, no.
Squidward brought his boat careening to a stop. Clambering out of it, the octopus made his way over to a rickety wooden bus stop, with a flickering lamp post just overhead. On a bench nearby was none other than Spongebob Squarepants: cold, alone, and unconscious. For a moment, a horrible thought passed through Squidward’s head -- is he dead? -- before he saw the sponge’s chest rise and fall, taking slow and steady breaths.
Breathing a huge sigh of relief, Squidward looked up and down the street. No one in sight.
Gently, the octopus leaned down and shook Spongebob lightly. “Hey,” said Squidward, awkwardly. “What are you doing asleep all the way out here? We have work tomorrow, you know.”
Spongebob stirred. In the dim light, Squidward realized the sponge really was hurt -- his usually spiffy shirt and tie were ripped straight down the middle. Beyond the fabric, the sponge’s chest was badly torn up, too, and for some reason, he had not regenerated yet.
Squidward swallowed. “Spongebob?”
The sponge stirred once more. This time, his eyes opened -- and he smiled, weakly. “Squidward,” he slurred, happily. He tried to laugh, then winced, clutching at his stomach and chest. “Squidward, it’s you … you came … ”
“Of course I came,” muttered Squidward, before he could stop himself. “I -- you … ugh, I hate you.”
Scooping up Spongebob, Squidward gently carried him over to the boat, positioning him carefully in the passenger’s seat. The sponge fussed a little about being buckled in, but otherwise, seemed too out of it to complain properly. Taking a deep breath, Squidward got back behind the wheel and started the engine.
“Heheh,” chuckled Spongebob as the boat roared to life. “Vroom-vroom.”
Squidward rolled his eyes and began turning the boat around, back towards Bikini Bottom. “We’re going home now,” he said, with a sigh. “You need to see a doctor for … whatever it was that happened to you.”
Spongebob simply nodded, then fell to his side, leaning all of his body weight on Squidward as he drove. The octopus felt warmth rising to his cheeks, and for once felt grateful for the murky blackness of the ocean void.
Spongebob was mumbling something.
“What is it?” said Squidward. “Are you okay?”
“I …uh … love you, Squidward,” said Spongebob, in a very loopy voice. “I love your big nose, and your paintings, and I wanna … get married, someday. Okay? Can we get married, someday?”
Squidward’s entire face was bright red now. It took everything in him not to just veer in a random direction and crash the entire damn boat. Taking a deep breath, the octopus collected himself. Spongebob was just severely injured, and loopy as a result. He didn’t really mean any of this.
Squidward decided to play along. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, we can get married.”
“Mm,” said Spongebob, chuckling softly. “Can I -- can I wear a dress?”
“Sure,” said Squidward. “Whatever you want.”
“And you’ll … and you’ll kiss me?”
“Mhm,” mumbled Squidward.
“And I can … listen to you play the clarinet around the house … and, and paint with you … and watch your soaps with … you … ”
Squidward looked over. The sponge had fallen asleep, and was snoring loudly. Which was … good. Very good. Excellent, even. That way, they couldn’t talk about marriage or love or any of that absolute nonsense. Now they could just drive forward in sweet silence.
Still, Squidward found himself dwelling over Spongebob’s words far more than he would have liked.
About an hour into the drive home, the octopus glanced over at the sponge, still fast asleep beside him. Fixing his gaze forward, Squidward took a deep breath, clutching the steering wheel in a tight death-grip.
“Spongebob, I …,” Squidward began, shakily. “I love you. I love you, I love you.”
Squidward found that once he started saying it, he couldn’t stop. The words felt good in his mouth, like a massive weight had finally been lifted off his chest.
“I love everything about you,” said Squidward, his three hearts exploding inside his chest. “Your annoying laugh, your stupid singing, all of it. I want to read with you, and garden with you.”
Squidward hesitated, his words floating out into the open water.
“I love you,” said Squidward, one last time. “And I … I don’t know what to do about it. Maybe I’m a coward. I’m sorry.”
Squidward looked over. Spongebob was still fast asleep, snoring away against his arm -- but the smallest of smiles had appeared on his face.
-0-
Squidward woke up in the hospital, seated in a chair next to Spongebob’s hospital bed. The poriferan was wide awake, watching an episode of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy on the hospital television. Of course.
The sponge turned. “Squidward!” he exclaimed, his voice loud and back to normal. “You’re awake!”
“Unfortunately,” muttered the octopus. “How are you feeling?”
“Great!” chirped Spongebob. “Better than ever, actually -- but the doc says I should stick around for a little while, just in case.”
Squidward glanced down. Sure enough, Spongebob’s chest had almost fully regenerated. Thank Neptune. When they arrived at the Bikini Bottom General Hospital early that morning, Spongebob was still in rough shape. The doctor said Spongebob most likely had a run-in with a deep-sea predator, and the attack was too quick and too constant for the poriferan to regenerate. Not to mention there were several lacerations to his vital organs.
Still, sponges were pretty sturdy folk -- and all Spongebob really needed was a long rest in a controlled environment.
Squidward breathed a huge sigh of relief. “Great,” he said, awkwardly. “I, uh. Pay attention next time you get on the bus, alright? So I don’t have to come running after you.”
Spongebob laughed. “Okey-doke.”
The two then sat together in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time. All the while, Squidward wondered if perhaps his stupid, impulsive, not-really-a-love-confession-confession had actually gotten through to Spongebob. His hearts twisted up at just the thought.
“Hey, Squidward?”
The octopus looked up, and was very surprised to find splotches of red decorating the sponge’s cheeks.
“What?” said Squidward.
“My, uh, sea flowers have been dying lately,” said the sponge, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “Maybe you could come by and we could share some gardening tips?”
A brilliant red blush planted itself on Squidward’s face. Then, he cleared his throat, and folded his arms across his chest. “Only if we get to watch a soap afterwards.”
Spongebob grinned. “Deal.”
Squidward found himself grinning, too, despite himself. “Deal.”
References:
“Deviltown” is loosely based off of the Devil Sea, near the Japanese coast.
I will likely be compiling these ficlets into one combined fic on ao3. I originally wasn't going to, but I definitely didn't expect so many requests. So keep an eye out for that, at some point.
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boymeetsweevil · 6 years
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BTS as (weird) babies in your daycare
Kim Seokjin
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The oldest of the bunch
brings two designer brand lunchboxes in to school
his lunches cost more than yours do
he eats all his food and then will go around the lunch table asking the others for small bites of their meal and they usually give in to him because he shouts “but we’re BROTHERS >:O” if they say no the first time around
the one that likes to take you by the hand while you’re in the middle of paperwork or something and bring you to see that castle he was working on
you compliment him on it and then you’re dismissed like:
“Wow jin that’s a great castle you did a great job stacking the blocks”
“Thank you teacher can you leave now?”
And you go back to your paperwork feeling kind of small before you remember that you are more than a decade older than the tiny child that sent you away
not the bossiest child (that’s jimin) but is a close second
is the most catalogue looking child you’ve ever seen
when you’re bored in the classroom during naptime and you play with your phone, he’s the one who only slept for 20 minutes
he then proceeds to come over and sit in your lap for a chance to play with your phone
You open up snapchat and play with the filters with him in the dimmed playroom and listen to his little chime-like giggles
his selfies are 80x cuter than yours before the filters and when the little dog ears come out to play you have no chance
Always brags about his older brother being able to use shoes “with no velcRO and long LONG lOng stringlaces” (=shoelaces)
hoseok always yells back that there’s no such thing as shoes without velcro “unless youre a growned-up and your hyung isn’t a growned-up i saw him at the park hes just a kid too!!”
Always brings in crafts that he made with his au pair for the class
currently has an obsession with hearts so he has been bringing in crudely cut heart shaped cut outs with scribbly stick figures on them
everyone got one, even you
he also made sure to draw himself into everyone’s heart as well
in the one he made for you its clear he drew himself first because he’s normal sized and you’re gigantic and bending horrifically around the edge of the heart because he didn’t plan the spacing well 
Also brings in the best group snacks when its a holiday or his birthday
cries when you tell him its not okay to sit on the other boys when they bother him
Always wants to be your helper and repeat what you just said to the class like he’s your assistant he is SUCH a teacher’s pet
“can i be teacher jinnie?”
“ummmmmm...not right now, maybe later okay?”
“oh...When im bigger???”
“uh Yes! when youre bigger”
“okay....Teacher im bigger now”
gives you wet cheek kisses :’)
He has the CUTEST laugh and when he laughs you laugh because its one of those rolling baby laughs that just doesn’t stop and you find yourself chasing him around the playroom to hear his giggle even though your feet hurt
drinks more milk than anyone in the class
as a result he has the NASTIEST farts
Min Yoongi
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The one who has been coming the longest but still takes a good 45 minutes to stop sulking after being dropped off before he’s in the mood to play
will legit stand by the window to watch his mom drop him off every fucking morning like he doesn’t know where she’s going and if she’s coming back
when you come over to see if he’ll play with the other kids, he just turns and pouts at you and whines a little and turns back to the window
When he’s not in a funk though he is the most mature kiddo
Plays the best by himself, and is very simply entertained
brought in some homemade maracas for his show and tell day
it was literally just a recycled cardboard container with dried beans in it that he had scribbled all over with 40 different markers
keeps calling it “makaka”, you try not to laugh you fail
he just sat on the edge of the rug in the playroom and shook the box of beans softly to himself for an hour
when the shaking stopped you came over to see if he was alright and you realize he fell asleep
is surprisingly chatty
probably has the best vocabulary or is tied with joon
but also probably ahead of joon in terms of working vocab because while joon knows how to use “extraordinary” he also can’t grasp what the slide is called and yoongi has him beat there
ALWAYS FALLS ASLEEP first
sometimes will ask if he can start nap time early and drags the pillow and blanket the parents bring in from home up to your desk to make a more convincing argument
is always patient zero and gets fevers really easliy
when that happens you have to carry him around while you putter through the classroom and rub his back while he sleeps it off
you have to shush the other kids while he sleeps because theyre always so loud when they ask “Is Yoongi SICK???? :(”
he sleeps in your lap during nap time on those days and you stroke his fat fever-rosy cheeks when he whines in his sleep from the heat
cries whenever taehyung says his drawings are ugly
but they are, especially if he draws you 
theres always this weird expression on your face and sometimes you think about it when youre up late at night and then you cant sleep
is full of full facts about insects because his dad reads about them before bed
and is apparently always at the library
you saw him there once and he almost exploded because what are you doing outside the school
“teacher what are you going here”
“i came to get some books just like you”
“but i thought you couldn’t leave the school”
“i can leave the school...”
“wont you get a time out?”
“um no sweetie”
Yoongi has a huge sweet tooth and gets super excited on fridays when his mom packs him like chocolate milk or something 
can never open the little carton so he brings it to you and just vibrate next to you until you poke the straw in
pretty sure you saw his eyes roll into the back of his head once while drinking it
has fallen asleep with the carton in his hands on multiple occasions
HAS THE SWEETEST BABY LISP YOU’VE EVER HEARD
when you bring your guitar in for music days he sits at the front and listens SUPER intently and always tries to come over and touch it while you’re playing so have to be like
“yoongi, sweetie, please sit down”
“um okay. teacher ? im gonna play the giddar too okay?”
“while I’m playing it?”
“Yeah :)”
“no yoongi.”
“Okay...teacher?” REPEAT 1-6
Jung Hoseok
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This kid is all over the place oh my god
srsly he is always tripping on shit because he is always running
and his jeans are a little too long because they're hand me downs from his sister and he refuses to let his dad put a belt on him in the morning
loves to hold hands but his hands are always so so so sticky
like wtf
he will want to hold your hand during walking field trips and you want to just yank your hand away and wipe it on your jeans and douse it in hot water but you don’t because he loves to hold hands and his hand is small and soft and warm and you don’t want to hurt his feelings :’(
you compromise by helping him when he’s at the sink and make sure he uses soap
probably the one who won’t stop putting his hands down his pullups
not in a weird way but in that way where kids will develop some weird habit/quirk that they do on autopilot for comfort
He probably tests your patience the most because is also: THE LOUDEST
he is that kid that screams bloody fucking murder when you turn the lights off for naptime,  every day :)
but not to be funny because he’s scared of the dark
he was originally placed somewhere else but he kept getting up in the middle of nap time to drag his blanket and pillow over to you to sleep nearby
when you asked him what he was doing he said that he sleeps near his big sister when he gets scared and you have to bite your knuckle not to cry when you realize he counts you too
Speaking of big sister, dawon goes to the day care for older kids on the floor above ur classroom
sometimes the teacher upstairs will let her come down to say hi
she stands by the doorway and watches him play with stuffed animals for a few minutes before going “hooooooobiiiiiiiiiii” and he drops everything to run over and she pets his hair and asks if he’s being good in that way where you can tell kids are parroting some random adult 
tbh this is your least favorite time of the day because he always wails because she can’t stay but he really misses his big sis and makes you tear up a little too
Sometimes another teacher will come in for “Body Time” and does yoga stretches with the kids
hobi is such a whiz at body time and always does the stretches with a surprising amount of control
its probably his second favorite thing next to running in literal circles in the tall grass during outside time in the spring
He’s a bit of a perfectionist because if you move his dominoes out of the little rows he made, even by just a fraction of a millimeter he. will. lose it.
Also won’t eat food that touches or crusts of bread or fruit skins
but he will eat orange slices without fail as long as you “make them into pieces first teacher :’(”
always gets stung by bees?????
because: yoongi likes bees a lot, he thinks theyre cute and interesting and he always takes hoseok by the hand to the nearest hive to tell him facts and point at things with a pudgy finger
but you’ve told the kids time and time again not to go near beehives but yoongi loves bees too much and hobi startles easily and either jostles the hive or pisses off a nearby bee
Kim Namjoon
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Is the only one that can read
you were super shocked when you came over to him one day looking intensely at a book and he was confused and you were like
“what’s the matter, joonie”
“i can’t find the kittens in the picture”
“What kittens” and you read the little blurb on the page and see the word mittens and you’re like oh shit he can kinda read
so now you make sure he reads a different book from the bookshelf each day
jimin is always demanding to be read to and joon is happy to do it even when jimin switches pages on him in the middle of the book or asks to start over or start another book
Has those little baby glasses that tie behind his head so he can see
he always drops them though because he fiddles with the tie in the back and they get too loose throughout the day
He’s one of the more affectionate kids in class and will cling to your leg when he’s having a rough day
doesn’t want you to pick him up unless you’re sitting because he’s scared of heights
will sit on your lap any time its free though
often competes for lap space with kookie and often loses because kookie runs faster or joon will fall because this is joon we’re talking about
hes a good sport about it and stands next to you and asks kookie when his turn is next very sweetly
No surprise but namjoonie is always falling
but he never gets majorly hurt
maybe he scrapes a knee or a hand or something minor
he doesn’t cry much either hes a tough cookie!!
he’ll tell you a fact about prehistoric jellyfish with a wavering voice and watery eyes while you put his bandaid on
Baby Joon LOVES LVOES LVOES apple sauce
he cannot get enough of it and MANY of the stains on his little cords (his favorite clothing item) are apple sauce stains
Namjoon is sadly that kid that will eat anything though so you’re constantly watching him to make sure he doesn’t eat anything deadly
when he’s being too quiet or still in the corner of your vision you walk up quietly behind him and just stick a hand out and he spits whatever it is into the napkin in your palm with a goofy smile
eats his boogers probly :(
Joons mom always brings little treats for you because she was worreid that he would be bullied or isolated when she first enrolled him in the class but he’s doing well and she’s glad for the atmosphere you’ve set up
sometimes she sends him in with your treat if she’s too busy in the morning so he’ll totter in with his glasses and what looks like some homemade cake and your can’t help but scoop him up and plant a kiss on his cheek and tell him to tell his mom thank you
his best friend is probably jin because jin knows the alphabet and appreciates namjoon’s knowledge
jin helps joon get over his fear of the swings, but he’s still scared of heights i assure you he will start to wail if you take his feet too high off the ground
cries when he spills his apple sauce which is often but he always has a spare
 but! you’re not sure if his mom packs it because he loves it so much or because he’s bound to drop one
Park Jimin
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When he first came in to school you gasped because those cheeks were a gift from above and the little always-there pout was so cute
he lives for praise, he is such a ham and he loves the way the old ladies at the front desk always try to bribe him with candy for a cheek pinch
he’s a shrewd little business man and won’t let anyone touch his cheeks for less than 2 soft caramels
Park Jimin is as bossy as they come
but everyone in the classroom has no problem with it except maybe you sometimes
he is always going “Teacher! Come here!” from somewhere in the room and you always have to go “You want to try that again, Park Jimin?” and he goes “Teacher! PWEASE come here!” and ur like...ok
Fairly independent
his dad assured you he knows how to cut with regular scissors but jimin continues to use the kiddie scissors and then act like he can’t do it and blink up at you for help
he just wants you to watch him do it
can also put on his own snowsuit without help but still wants you to do it for him because he LIVES for the personal attention
Is a tiny bit violent?
will yell really loud if you take his truck or his dino dolly
or if you make him try to take off his favorite faux cowhide sweater when its time to paint
never hits/kicks/bites tho
the one time it looked like he might hit jungkook you were there in an instant to pull him away and give him a calm and quiet but stern lecture about why his hands are not for hitting or hurting
he had frustrated tears welling up in his eyes when you brought him back to JK and had him use his words
“Kookie, I dont like when you take my toys when im still playin wif dem”
JK: *is preverbal*
and you pry the toy out of jungkook’s freakishly strong baby grip and return it to jk
Jimin’s best friend is probably tae
their moms are friends and they regularly have play dates at each other’s houses
sometimes they come in together in the mornings if one mom is busier than the other
they sleep next to each other during nap time
Chim cries when he can’t sit next to tae during snack time
Has a very adult palate for a baby
i.e. he loves vegetables
is kind of nosy and will come over to your desk when you open your lunch bag and ask to see the vegetables
you make sure to always pack a veggie because the one time you didn’t his eyes widened and he said “mama says you die if you dont eat no veg-ables”
asks if everything is a “veg-able”
jimin: *points to sandwich* veg-able?
you: no
jimin: *points to kimbap/turkey leg/piece of cake/bag of chips/an apple* veg-able?
you:....no
if you did bring a veggie that he doesn’t already have in his lunch, he’ll ask for a bite
normally you have to tell kids no when they ask for your food because you’d end up with everyone asking for a bite and no lunch, but no one else likes veggies in the class. 
so sometimes you slip a sliced cucumber to him and he holds it in two hands and runs back to his spot to eat it and then comes back like an outdoor cat looking for more food
Has a lovely singing voice
its high and pretty, kind of angelic and he tells you that he sings for his grandma a lot
you praise his singing so naturally he loves music day too and if you sing a song he sings with his mom at home he gets so excited
yoongi is enthralled when jimin knows the words to a “teacher song” before its been taught to the class
Kim Taehyung
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idk why this is so pertinent to my idealization of him as a child BUT: Has the biggest head out of anyone in the classroom sorry
is so so so cute, might even be your favorite..
he’s super agreeable
loves to cuddle, eat all his food in his little stackable lunch containers, naps well, plays nicely with others, listens pretty well
BUT
he always pees himself :(
and you don’t understand it because his dad came in and bragged about how much of a big boi his son is at home in the bathroom using the toilet but at school? NOPE
he has like 8 changes on clothes for this reason
you can always tells when he’s about to pee himself because
he stands in the middle of the room and just goes “sorry teacher” really softly
your heart breaks when you hear how sad he is that he wet himself but you’re also a little irate because you’re convinced no one deals with as much pee as you do
you give him the talk every time which consists of your wriggling him into some ridiculous pink overalls while trying to make eye contact with him so you can tell him that when he feels like he has to go, he can just go to the potty
Tae carries a blanket around at all times!!!!!
he takes it everywhere with him and uses a different one to cover him up during nap time.
cries on the days that his dad drops him off without it because it has to be washed
the blanket was purple at one point but now it is straight up grey-brown
is surprisingly good at walking/running with it and not tripping on it
Jimin  started calling him tata
so now everyone calls him tata
Is probably the class sweetheart as well
when he’s out sick, literally everyone goes “where’s tata” at random times of the day even though you went over who was “at school” and who was “at home” and said he was at home
tae is so so so so good at drawing its crazy
hes way above his age grade in terms of drawing BUT he has a little trouble getting a pencil into his grip 
so you have to help him finagle it into his little hand but once he does WOOO here comes a dragon with you on its back holding a big ol sword
Is that one kid who manages to run around naked the most
its probably because you’re always in the middle of changing him when someone else distracts you and you turn around and all of the sudden he’s naked as the day he was born from the belly button and waddling back to where jimin is playing with flubber on the rug
you have to run over and scoop him up but also hold him at arms length because hello? pee?
he thinks this is hilarious and flaps his arms like hes flying
Everyone kisses tae
like when the kids get to that stage where they all try to kiss each other because their parents probably kiss them and they're like imitating their parents
everyone goes for tae
he takes it like a champ
but his face is probably v sticky after wards so you pull him over and take a wet wipe to his face
might ask you for a kiss and you place one on his LARGE forehead lol
His grandma comes in often with dolls she made for the class
tae shows them off proudly during his show and tell days and makes sure everyone plays nicely with them or theyll break because theyre normally made from soft yarn
He has a major thing for stickers and is always asking you for stickers to adorn his whole body with 
you are constantly telling him to take stickers off his face and sometimes he puts them on his eyebrow and you sigh because crying is inevitable at that point
you have limited him to 3 stickers on any given day and they go on a piece of paper labeled “Taehyung’s Tata’s stickers”
was mad when you tried to write his full name on the paper because he is tata at school >: (
Jeon Jungkook
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the youngest! a true baby
when he first came to the classroom he was right in the middle in terms of age so like he technically aged out of the nursery down the hall but he wasn’t at the normal age minimum to enter your classroom and you were like Ummmmm i guess he can come? because you didn’t have very many kids so what’s one more right?
Started walking and running in the same day during his first week at the classroom!!!
you were worried he’d be too small to keep up with the other kids and might be hurt with their type of play but nope
he was constantly crawling after them trying to keep up until one day he just...stood up and you were like omg and pulled your phone up
when his parents came to pick him up you showed them the video and his dad cried
Now he’s the fastest runner in the class
he doesn’t really talk yet
hes still preverbal but you can tell he gets whats going on around him
the others are good about it
although you did have to have a day where you addressed the question they kept asking you
“Why doesn’t kookie have words?”
“he’s too little. but he’ll talk when he’s ready”
it was a short talk
He knows two words
no and something that is the approximation of hyung but you’re not certain
if he wants your specific attention he just goes “AH” really loud
says no to everything even when he means yes
this means that when you ask him if he wants to eat snack he says no and then cries when you put his lunchbox away thinking he may actually not be hungry
despite being the best at toddling, he always wants to picked up
he is such a teacher’s pet its crazy
its probably the one piece of evidence that he is the least mature of the group
and also because he misses the presence of his mom
he will settle for sitting in your lap when you’re at your desk
or when you’re trying to read to the group during “carpet reading time”
he will try to turn the pages for you but it took him a while to realize you weren’t always done reading when he turned a page and you’d have to fight him to turn the page back so you could finish
now he waits for you to say “you can turn the page now kook”
He is so so so shy omg
if a teacher from another classroom comes by to borrow something, they naturally try to come over and say hi to the one kid who you’re carrying on your hip or sitting in your lap and he just turns and smushes his face into your armpit until he suspects they’ve left
he does, however, have a weird obsession with the handyman that comes in to repair that one tricky light in the back of the art closet
kook will stare at him until he leaves and its cute because he’ll leave your lap or whine to be put down and toddle over to watch him work from a “reasonable distance”
the repairman is kind of gruff looking but he always turns and spots kook watching him like 8^O and will snort
one time he handed kook a rubber band that he had in his breast pocket and kook kept it clutched in his little hand all day
actually waves goodbye when he leaves its so precious
Kook is very sensitive to touch and stuff
so in the winter when he has to wear layers he cries a lot if the t-shirt under his sweater bunches up the wrong way
like he’s so finicky about tactile stuff
he can’t have bare feet ever
wears slippers all year, even in the summer
also cries if the classroom gets too loud and covers his ears
you think maybe he may have some sort of sensory sensitivity
won’t eat the bananas in his lunch unless you mash them with a fork for him
cried when you cut open a pumpkin to show the kids the seeds inside and later roast them because the smell was too strong for him
you had to put a tiny face mask on him to get him to calm down and he resembled a ninja turtle the whole day
He loves hobi very much and is always super giggly when hobi pays extra attention to him
always follows him around and is constantly bumping his nose on hobi’s back because he follows him THAT CLOSELY
always fights with jin
meaning he constantly swipes toys out of his hands and then sometimes gets sat on as punishment and cries until you heft jin off him
you don’t know why they always fight
is so good at hidden item picture books like Ispy
you will zoom through them because he finds everything immediately and you wonder if maybe hes a genius
you had a hunch one day and put him down in front of a 400 piece puzzle and he did a surprisingly good chunk of it in the span of the school day and went straight to it the next day
I was trying so hard to write this and couldnt think of anything and then i remembered yesterday that my friemd Worked in a daycare for the last three years??? so a lot of this is real life stuff which is funny but also really extra
all pics are from weheartit...
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