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#if he had a redemption arc i think he would have his work cut out him

antianakin · 22 hours

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I watched that scene in V for Vendetta when V kills Delia, and it occurred to me that there isn't quite the same scene throughout TBB S3. Despite the heavy redemption themes for Crosshair and Emerie, I don't think I heard either of them directly acknowledge their wrongs and apologise to their (live) victims. I didn't hear Crosshair admit fault for shooting Wrecker on Kamino, trying to incinerate the squad on Bracca, or kidnapping Hunter and using him as bait. Never mind to Howzer for his squad's arrest and death in captivity, or the people of Ryloth for his assassination of Orn Free Taa. Or to the next of kin of at least two women I remembered he killed during his Imperial service.

I never heard Emerie apologise for using the kids and clones as pincushions to draw blood, abducting and imprisoning them. Has everyone forgotten that she was there regularly while Crosshair was strapped to the bed and being experimented on?

The point is that while both characters did heel-face turns and performed deeds to atone for their pasts, the lack of apology is deafening. Howzer was portrayed as the asshole for not seeing Crosshair's heel-face turn because it should have been ''obvious'' how Crosshair treats Omega. I see it as the characters who should have broken the fourth wall and read the script to bypass the drama that would have occurred if an apology had been forthcoming. The "hard" part was done; Crosshair lost his hand; what more do you idiots want? I would have chalked it to the cancellation had I not seen something similar running around Season 1...

It's one of those aspects that gnaws at me with Disney Star Wars. What I call the externalisation of evil, paired with the lack of accountability. Evil happens because people were forced or duped to act on its behalf, but because these people are not "true" believers (as seen by their redemption), they need not be held accountable for their actions while serving evil. Their acts in service of the "superior good" balance the scales and bypass the need for accountability.

And for a "kids" show lauded as the most "adult" of the TCW-era animation, I have to ask, is this really the lesson to teach kids? Because in real life, no one can read your mind and hear your apology mentally. And some can fake it and be unrepentant in the end. The victims of your wrongdoing have the right to confront you, hear your apology, and decide to absolve or condemn you. "I am not here for what you hoped to do. I am here for what you did"- V

"Is it meaningless to apologise? Never I'm so sorry" - Delia's last words to V

I find myself less upset about Emerie because Emerie was introduced so late that not only do we not see her doing anything THAT horrific, but there wouldn't have been a lot of time to really work through any kind of redemption arc for her. Within her first few episodes, we do see her soften towards Omega a bit, so they DO set up that Emerie isn't all she appears to be which allows for her to have stronger reactions to things like the Force sensitive children in the vault later.

My issue with Emerie, which is likely partially due to the cancellation cutting off some of what they might have planned to do with her, is that we have ZERO EXPLANATION for her. Why does she exist, was she just a defective clone who came out female and so the Kaminoans sent her away or did one of them intentionally try to create a female clone for some reason? Why did they send her to Hemlock, how was Hemlock connected with the Kaminoans to begin with and connected SO early that he was able to acquire a clone before the Jedi and the Republic even knew they existed? Why did Hemlock accept her and what has he been doing TO her this whole time? What is her relationship with being a clone if she was presumably separated from the rest of them for her entire life and not necessarily raised as a clone the same way as even TBB would've been? How does this impact her relationship with the clone prisoners on Tantiss as well as Hemlock?

Her redemption arc feels both half-assed and like... just half-assed enough because Emerie is basically a blank slate the whole time. We don't know anything about her or her motivations for anything and so there's nothing to really make me feel like her quicker change of heart goes against anything we know about her. She's never shown to be particularly unkind or malicious, just... somewhat disconnected from the clone prisoners and inclined to just accept that Hemlock's work is necessary. Because we know so little about her aside from that she's been with Hemlock since she was extremely young, it works for me that she's mostly just kind-of disconnected about the things he's doing to the other clones until she manages to make a personal connection that sort-of changes her perspective. She does not personally capture or hurt anyone to my memory, she never seems to be intentionally trying to cause pain to anybody, there's no malicious intent behind her actions that she has to work around and make up for. There's not even any real prejudice and anger towards the clones themselves that is causing her to be okay with what Hemlock is doing to them. So just her recognizing that a change NEEDS to be made is enough for me with Emerie, I don't feel like I needed more of an apology in order for her "redemption arc" to make sense because she's barely a fleshed out character as it is.

Crosshair on the other hand, DID owe an apology to a lot of people. I HATE the way they handled his interactions with the rest of the squad and with Howzer in particular. I HATE the way HOWZER has to apologize and Crosshair never does. It's fucked up and wrong and such a badly done redemption arc and I honestly can't even blame that on the cancellation because it's early enough in the season that they likely already had that built in before they had to make any changes. There's also already been TWO SEASONS before this to build up to Crosshair's change of heart that I think got mishandled as well. He got so little screen time in season two that his change of heart that turns him against the Empire doesn't feel believable to me at all.

My biggest issue with BOTH of these characters and the way their stories were handled was the distance from the ACTUAL CLONES.

This is an issue I've had with the show from the beginning. It's billed as a show about clones, but the main characters are SO separated and distant from the real clones that none of their development really has anything to do with the clones and it makes it feel like it never really WAS a clone story at all. Crosshair's story would've been more compelling if it had been about his bigotry towards the clones and his development had come specifically from learning they were good people and he was wrong about them. Emerie and Omega's stories should've been about them finally being able to connect to the other clones that they'd been forced away from their whole lives and figuring out what it truly means to BE a clone. The Bad Batch's story would've been more compelling if it had had more focus on what was actually happening to the clones immediately after Order 66 and the desperation and tragedy of trying to save them in a world that cares about them even less than it used to.

Instead, Crosshair's story seems to be about realizing the Empire sees him, PERSONALLY, as expendable and THAT'S what makes him realize it's bad. The fact that the Empire sees him as no different than the other clones doesn't really allow him to see the CLONES in a different light or connect to them better, it just destroys his loyalty to the Empire because he's not considered special anymore. Emerie only turns against the Empire after she sees what's happening with the Force sensitive children, the torture and captivity of the clones doesn't seem to bother her at all. Omega's development for the last two seasons has had nothing to do with her identity as a clone and a lot more with her identity as a "soldier". Echo is the only character with any real connection to the other clones and the moment he starts to voice that, he gets written off and becomes a recurring cameo character instead of a regular main ensemble member. The moment he decides to more fully be a part of a clone-centric storyline, he can't be a part of the Bad Batch's story because the Bad Batch is inherently NOT A CLONE STORY.

And this is the biggest problem with this show. It's selling itself as a clone story and not actually following through on it and it causes this weird dissonance within the narrative because I don't think this show ever truly knew what story it was telling. It hurts every single one of the characters.

This show would've been a LOT better if they had just let it be a story about, say, four random bounty hunters who worked as a team. Or even, god help me, four Mandalorians from different clans or houses or whatever who are BARELY managing to stay civil with each other. It would've made the stories with Crosshair and Emerie feel a LOT easier to stomach because we aren't sitting there wondering why they aren't reacting to what's happening to the other clones around them. It might've made the stories easier to WRITE, too, because they wouldn't have had to keep trying to force a connection between these characters and the clones that so clearly just isn't there.

Maybe these "redemption arcs" would've been better done and made more sense if these characters weren't clones.

But then again I remember how well done Ventress and Kallus's "redemption arcs" were and I think that maybe it wouldn't have mattered at all.

#star wars #clone troopers #anti tbb #tbb critical #crosshair critical #anti crosshair #emerie critical #anti emerie

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ochibrochi · 2 months

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spontaneous magic manifestation was NOT mentioned in the parenting handbook 😬

I know this isn’t how magic in dc works, but the fact that Damian’s ancestry includes some pretty powerful magic users is… INTERESTING 🤔? Drabble under the cut!

I wanna preface that I'M NOT SAYIN' that Damian should/does have magic powers, but there’s still so much unexplored potential with Damian's character, and the thought that he has a dormant adeptness in magic is somewhat compelling to me. Most importantly it would FREAK! BRUCE! OUT!!!!! What is this, magic puberty 😭??

By DC laws, anyone has the ability to learn magic, but it is also possible to be an innate ability. The Al Ghuls are no strangers to the occult-- Ra's has had increasingly been portrayed as a magic user, and the recent establishment of his mother being a sorceress/witch?? Even Talia dabbled in a bit of magic, I think. There is a catch that their power is suggested to be due to Lazarus exposure, but for arguments sake let's say the Al Ghul lineage is inherently proficient in magic (and Lazarus exposure simply enhances it).

I can't recall "magic" being a part of Damian's training/upbringing (I'm still slowly catching-up on Damian comics so apologies if I miss any canon examples of magic use). Not sure why Talia wouldn't want her little "heir to an ancient assassin empire baby" to learn magic, but it would at least give reason to Damian not knowing about his magic potential, or lack of interest in it.

Through the power of pseudo storytelling, what if Damian's encounter with Mother Soul could have triggered a manifestation of magic that was once dormant; like a pressure cooker waiting to explode with energy when it hasn't been given a safe outlet.

I've yet to read a satisfying arc where Damian truly gets to contemplate his Al Ghul roots outside of "dad is good guy, mum is bad guy". Damian's initial character growth stems from him running away from, and renouncing his association with the League (i.e. "I'm nothing like you, mother and grandfather!").

The most recent thing I've read was Robin (2021), and whilst Damian is much more cordial with his mother, there's still an emotional distance and sense of distrust/resentment (for good reason, even if the context was some cartoonishly evil writing). But there is a silver-lining that they still appear to be fond of each other, in a melancholy kind of way.

Realizing he's "genetically" primed for magic would be especially confronting to Damian. There's no denying his Al Ghul blood, forcing him to confront a facet of himself he can no longer ignore or reject. A family that he likely has to approach for help/guidance.

Damian is put in a position of acknowledging this power could be used for good, to be stronger, to fight crime, balancing it with the implication that what he possesses could be rooted in dark magic (Lazarus enchantment).

If he decides to embrace it, would that be too much of an endorsement of the Al Ghul's dark occultism? Can he separate the two ideas? What if he can't control it? What if he accidentally hurts someone? What if has the ability to save someone where his other skills fall short?

Ideally, I'd love for this hypothetical story to lead into Damian exploring his Al Ghul heritage more intimately, historically, and spiritually (à la RSoB: Year of Redemption adventures). Another little coming-of-age self discovery journey.

I have my own little personal thoughts on what Damian decides to do with his magic powers, but I'd like to leave that open to interpretation... By the end of it I hope that he will at least find some forgiveness over resentment, and a balance between accepting that side of his family a little easier. It is finally a sense of inner peace :)

Any thoughts? Did I get any characterisation wrong? Let's talk over on my DC blog @arkhamochi! I'm currently trying to read all Damian-centric comics until I catch up with the current run. I'm hungry for discussion and analysis!!!!!!

#batman #batman and robin #damian wayne #bruce wayne #dc comics #P.S. drabble is kinda LONG so DO NOT read more unless you want the inconvenience of scrolling

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jiminrings · 1 year

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yoongi’s lullaby

pairing: yoongi x reader

wordcount: 13k

glimpse: there’s two things you can conclude from yoongi’s shapeshifting service: a) it’s great for his wallet, and b) it’s crushing for your heart.

alternatively, yoongi’s your best friend and soulmate, and you have to watch him fall in love over and over again.

[ 40% angst, soulmate au, yoongi is a capitalist (he shapeshifts and goes on fake dates then gets a load of money), fluff + wholesomeness, unrequited love (at first), f2l, self-deprecation, jealousy, YEARNING!!!, Redemption Arc I Promise ]

notes: this is part of the hlwwf universe :) and just like its predecessor, it’s also based on a song!! i haven’t felt this excited to write a fic in a while so i hope u love it as much as i do <3

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!!

Yoongi must be the universe’s reward to you for every good deed you’ve ever done.

When Yoongi lets himself to be roped into joining in your newest fixation, it must be your good karma because you sat front-row for each one of your younger siblings’ school events.

When he reminds you to drink your water and not skip your meals, even going so far as to deliver both to you as often as he could, it must be the universe’s payment to you for watering plants and going on that one (1) mandatory tree planting activity.

When he gives you all the credentials to log into his premium streaming platforms even without you asking, it must be fate’s way of thanking you for not making a fuss whenever a barista messes up your order or when a stranger cuts in line.

Yoongi is the good in your life and he has been ever since you were teens, reminding you of what you’ve worked hard for in life because when he wasn’t so busy going through the same hardships you did, he would be at the sidelines waiting for you to finish.

Or he could be someplace else without even sending a lousy text regarding his wellbeing nor his notice that he can’t be at your awarding ceremony tonight because he’s busy doing his job, serving as a reminder that Yoongi must also be the universe’s punishment to you for your missteps and lapses.

When he comes and goes into your apartment freely as treats himself to your newly-bought groceries, it must be retribution because you lost your temper on your college roommate once for eating the leftovers you’ve been craving since the night before.

When he salvages all the spare batteries you have lying around to power up his huge clock back at his apartment, therefore leaving you to eventually spend a rainy night without flashlights because of a power outage, it must be payback for lowering the temperature in your breakroom even with the sign that specifically tells you not to.

Whenever Yoongi mentions his shapeshifting “career” (he argues that it is) to you, a gift he had been born with and one he really maximizes to the fullest potential and profit, you’re reminded how much of it is a curse to you.

Yoongi must be the universe’s greatest reward and punishment for you at the same time because while he’s your soulmate and you spend almost every day with him — you have to see him fall in love with everyone else but you, over and over again.

“You should be splitting rent with me at this point. You’re always here,” you groan as soon as you spot him on your couch, barely escaping the grogginess you’re still in from having a long night.

His presence isn’t surprising anymore given the time you’ve been with him and how this exact situation has already played out tons of times before (him breaking into your place because he doesn’t want to be alone, you blissfully clueless until you hear raccoon-like searching in your kitchen) — it’s more irking than it is surprising, especially when you wake up at the wrong side of the bed.

“Do you not want me around?” Yoongi laughs heartily, unwilling to wipe his grin off when you don’t react. “That’s what I thought.”

He’s already beaten you to the TV and while he hasn’t had breakfast yet because he thought that the least he could do is wait for you to wake up so you could make it and the two of you can eat together, he’s getting there anyway.

“What type of horrible soulmate kicks out their other half that hasn’t had breakfast yet at 8 in the morning?” he hums, a faux pout on his face that rubs you the wrong way. You’re still pissed at him for not showing up at your awarding ceremony last night for being the top developer in your tech company, his lengthy apologetic text before you went to sleep still not doing its full effects.

“You don’t wanna tread there,” you huff, crossing your arms. “I have a lot on my chest, Yoongi. A lot of hateful, vile, factual comebacks.”

“Exactly!” he exclaims, the smile on his face telling you that he’s taking this lightly; way more lightly than you’d like him to. “We’ve had this conversation a million times before, baby. Sometimes, people just aren’t meant to be,” Yoongi shrugs, his words embedded in you now from repetition alone. “Some soulmates are only platonic.”

“That’s what you want because you’re non-committal,” you hiss, the incoming headache you have for having this conversation too early in the morning making you sit yourself on the couch. Yoongi grins because he knows you won’t kick him out at this point, slinging an arm across your shoulders while you’re still glaring at him. “Your hustle or whatever you call it is falling in love with everyone but me.”

“Uhm, correction — it’s a career,” he tuts. “I have a gift, Y/N. What, I can shapeshift into other people and I’m not supposed to capitalize off of that?”

He had only started offering his services a little more than a year ago, a byproduct of his boredom and his producing internship at the music label falling through. It just came to him in a fever dream and a drunken suggestion from you, and one website domain purchase and a socialite with a lot of connections for a first client later, Yoongi quickly made bank.

SeeAndSaw’s a trial dating service led by Yoongi, one that would answer clients’ curiosities to whether or not they were compatible with a person, and that’s where his shapeshifting came in handy. His services continue to be used for a multitude of reasons, the most common one being to see if the client would match with their soulmates (or just a random person, he’s not particular like that) ahead of their meeting. He’s also become a handy instrument here and there, breaking up with people in his clients’ behalf because they were too guilty to do so, to becoming a stand-in for clients that needed to present someone to their families for occasions.

Yoongi acts far too casual to you and not only is its time’s fault, it’s also yours for keeping him around in any way you can have him, even if it’s just as a friend.

“I keep professing my love for you every two weeks and I’m doing it now while you’re eating my leftovers. People would kill just to have a soulmate as dedicated as me,” you frown, slowly softening the more that you’re rendered awake. Yoongi’s right, you did have this conversation a million times before and it’s the realization of it all that perhaps, at rare times, makes it hurt less.

“We’ve had this talk before,” he sing-songs, digging into the carbonara you took home that he retrieved not even one minute later since you joined him on the couch.

“For someone who makes bank fake dating people, you sure do leech off of me a lot,” you grumble, effectively quietened when he shoves a forkful of pasta into your mouth.

“That reminds me,” Yoongi grins, building up to a dramatic gasp. “I love-…”

He trails and trails and if only you didn’t know any better, you would know that Yoongi wouldn’t profess his love for you in your living room while you were still in your pajamas eating cold carbonara. Much less, Yoongi wouldn’t tell you at all that he loves you.

“I love doing that,” he agrees, disappointed for a second when you didn’t even react to him doing a cliffhanger about what or who he loves. “My treat for you this week is to get you a new mattress. You’ll be less grumpy in the mornings.”

“The mattress can stay for a little longer. Can you just get me a new alarm system please?” you say without missing a beat, having already thought long and hard about what make-up gift you wanted him to give you from missing out on your awarding ceremony.

“Why? Are you okay? Did anybody attempt to break in?” Yoongi asks concerned, brows knotted in worry. He grunts under his breath, shaking his head. “I already told you to move into my apartment complex so many times. It’s much safer there.”

That’s also a conversation you’ve had a million times before, all circling back to your attachment to the first place that you bought with your own money. It’s not bad per se, it just looks like it when you show it side-by-side with Yoongi’s place.

“Oh. They already broke in,” you narrow your eyes, oblivious to the panic brewing in Yoongi.

“What the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me?! Are you-…” he rants, stopping himself when he sees the irony. “Okay, I get it. You’re not funny.”

You and Yoongi eat cold carbonara in total silence, save for his grumbles of how you should never joke about your safety and yours for how he should start chipping in for your bills if he’s gonna keep showing up like this.

Yoongi swears he doesn’t find you funny. He swears it on his life when a few days later, a guy is sent to your house to update your security system. There’s a couple hundred packages of additional manual locks, along with Yoongi’s letter of how he still doesn’t find you funny, amongst other things.

Please guard your home. Don’t let anybody else in except me.

- Yoongi

( ♡ )

Yoongi despises change.

He’s with the elderly when it comes to online menus in an actual, physical restaurant, annoyed by them to the point that sometimes he just walks out. He can’t help it that he wants a nice, slightly greasy, and good menu because it just goes to show how great the food would be.

He hates whoever invented and continues to advertise white cooking equipment that’s beyond impractical, knowing to himself that he would disown any friends or family he’ll catch using them. You spent a good two seconds more looking at a white ceramic pot that one time when you were online shopping, and Yoongi’s never been more determined to hurl your phone to the floor.

Yoongi also hates overly-modified cars and overly-decorated phone cases, because as much as it isn’t his business, he firmly believes that sometimes there are things meant to be left alone.

His voicemail is still the same one he had back in college and his standard ringtone for everyone remains untouched — everyone but you.

Yoongi knows that he’s in charge of his time given his very successful career and he worked around his whole schedule just to grant himself the luxury of sleeping in today. He wants to have himself buried in his cold sheets for longer but it’s your call that overrides his phone on Do Not Disturb, shaking him awake quicker.

“Yoongi?” you ask, too wrapped up in your internal to-do list to notice that he answered at the second ring. “Help me please.”

“Spider family in your cupboards again?” he yawns, rubbing the sleep off his eyes. God, he hopes it’s not that again. He isn’t the biggest fan of spiders either but at your insistence (and threatening last time that you’ll ignore him for a week), he forced himself to swallow down the unease.

“No, I woke up late,” you hum, once again oblivious that you’re intruding on Yoongi’s plans. He doesn’t mind though; not at all. “I just got a text about my package and I accidentally used your address again. The front desk received it.”

Yoongi’s address has already become your secondary one at this point, from food deliveries from staying over to parcels you made him receive because you wouldn’t be home at the time. You’ve gotten used to utilizing his address, his home, so much that you forget which is which sometimes.

“Can you sign off on it as me?”

You know potential and convenience when you have it within reach, and the both of you know that your best friend slash soulmate gets a sense of pride whenever you need to utilize his shapeshifting abilities.

“Okay fine. I’ll even talk you up as a future tenant here because you’re taking my advice and moving to my building, right?” he caves in even if it took nothing for you to convince him, putting on a shirt before finding his slippers.

“What, what? Yoongi, oh! You’re breaking up,” you make a half-assed attempt in avoiding the offer once again. You could afford it with the salary you have now but aside your attachment to the place you have now, being closer to Yoongi in this context would precisely be the demise of you. “Thanks, Yoongs. Bring the package with you when you come over.”

Yoongi’s filial when it comes to you, that much you’ve noticed. He may not be in love with you but his loyalty to you is as clear as day, much of a soulmate’s but not exactly a lover’s.

It’s supposed to be like clockwork when he picks up his parcels (yours in this case) from the front desk but there’s just something he belatedly realizes now, his mouth in a grimace when he has to pry off your package from the receptionist who was unabashedly asking where you were.

He didn’t know that every time this would happen, or in any case wherein you came by yourself to his apartment and therefore passing by the front desk, the sleaze would flirt with you.

“Joohyuk from the front desk always comes off strong, huh?” Yoongi snickers the moment he enters your place, handing you your stuff instead of tossing it like he usually would.

“Tell me about it. He doesn’t give me a break,” you snort, unfazed that he doesn’t greet you with a hi anymore because your current visiting set-up has been executed many times.

Yoongi doesn’t know what to do with the unhinged anger in his brain that unfolds because from your response alone, you’re used to it. You’re used to feeling uneasy and he hadn’t caught on earlier than he should’ve, the guilt weighing down on his chest.

“Hey,” he calls out, his tone leaving you no room for objections. “I’ll receive your packages from now on.”

( ♡ )

You don’t know how you keep holding onto Yoongi despite him grasping you from afar.

It’s a melancholy enough as it is to swallow at the end of the day that Yoongi’s yours but not in the way you want him to be, along with the great possibility that it would always be that way. You don’t heed the reminder when you’re with him and that’s almost everyday of your life, the ache that you’re the only one pining after him remaining as a dull thrum.

He seeks you in seasons but you look for him in all weathers, the great search of when you’d finally amount more to him still coming up unanswered.

You can handle seeing Yoongi often with the cue that you’re only friends despite the initials on both your ring fingers saying otherwise. You can manage with introducing him only as your close friend to colleagues and acquaintances because you don’t want to end up with a long-winded explanation how he wants you but really doesn’t.

Yoongi can deal with your moony stares at him every once in a while and your professions of love, whether sober or drunken. On the same vein, you can deal with the rejection he serves you every single time.

The both of you are adults who can handle each other, one more high-strung than the other, and it’s only in moments like these that you reach your limit. You’re awfully too aware of how easy it is for Yoongi to work, to be in love with people he only knows vaguely.

“I don’t like to see you when you’re at work.”

You’re momentarily caught with panic when you see a stranger in your living room, only being caught up to date when he’s sprawled across your couch in the same way that Yoongi does, the very same shit-eating grin he has on for giving you a fright.

You don’t know the guy at all and you don’t plan to. You try your best to separate yourself from Yoongi’s shapeshifting business, most especially his clients and the extensions of them that he has to portray. You don’t even want to hear the stories behind his appointments even if he begs for you to hear him out because he just wants someone to talk to.

The moment you fully accept that Yoongi would belong to everyone but you is the day that you rue him.

And in a longingly heartbreaking fashion, you don’t hate Yoongi — yet.

He momentarily changes back to himself, sneaking a look at his watch to see how many minutes he has more of annoying you before going on a date just two blocks away from your place.

“Why?” he whines, and in retaliation, changes back to the stranger. “I’m Hong Dusik. I’m from the countryside, moved back to the city to do stocks, and my dimples are literally embedded in there. I’m my client’s soulmate and it’s their first date next week but she’s shy and she’s nervous, so she’s having a dry-run with me first.”

Tuning Yoongi out has become a skill you continue to hone and while it isn’t foolproof just yet, it’s helped tremendously when you want nothing more than to kick him (or any form he takes) out.

“Nice.”

“You’re icing me out, sweetie?” his voice lulls, the sweetness behind it cloying until you remember that you don’t know the guy it belongs to.

“My god, your dimples are deep,” you murmur, clutching your bag to your chest. “Switch back, Yoongi.”

“Why? Dusik’s a nice guy.”

You kiss your teeth with the annoyance of a hundred days built up, gritting out your answer that makes him falter momentarily. “I’ve heard already, but I don’t plan seeing Dusik or any other stranger in my home.”

“Aw, you’re so loyal to your soulmate, whoever he may be,” he coughs, shifting back to himself. At any other day, Yoongi’s playful nature would be met with one of your sarcastic remarks but he doesn’t get any this time, the ghost of a frown accompanying his lips.

He’s admittedly nervous when you don’t play along with him, but his urge to sneak one last word in overtakes his trepidation.

“My advice to get over me? Bone it out. Get it out of your system. Soon enough, my initials would fade.”

Come to think of it, Yoongi’s advice isn’t all that bad.

“If Dusik and his girl don’t work out, just send him to me,” you nod, retreating to your room.

“Good! I’ll-…” he grins, satisfied with ticking you off until your words sink into him, the double-take that he makes giving him an ache on his neck. “What?” Yoongi murmurs, “I didn’t mean it that seriously.”

( ♡ )

In a parallel universe or in a different life, Yoongi actually lives with you. In that reality, you’re still soulmates and the difference is that he loves you back. He doesn’t have the ability to shapeshift and you don’t have to profess your love repeatedly either.

In a parallel universe or a different life, Yoongi’s cooking you dinner. Dinner would be just takeout from a drive-thru that he transfers to plates because the two of you barely ate the bourgeoisie food at your awarding ceremony. You’re still the top developer in your tech company, but the difference is that he’s there and you get to introduce him as your soulmate and not just a friend who coincidentally bears the same initials on your finger.

In a parallel universe or a different life, Yoongi is your soulmate before he is your friend. He doesn’t condense your love for him as a mere obligation. He doesn’t bat an eye at your confessions because in that reality, he’s the one who loves you more than you love him.

You don’t have that life though — what you have at the moment is Yoongi, your soulmate, not being able to see what was wrong signing you up for a dating app. You wouldn’t have known if not for the couple hundred notifications you receive in your personal phone that you left at home.

You wouldn’t be this angry if Yoongi could just accept that he went out of line.

“How many times do I have to say it over and over again?” you yell, hands flailing around helplessly. The smug look on Yoongi’s face remains, strengthened only by his stubbornness. “I love you and it’s just always been you!”

This is not the life you pictured with your soulmate. In your head, you don’t even see a particular space the two of you would live in. The home you see in your dreams is ever-changing, the layout of it never staying the same. The only thing that stays in the life you picture is Yoongi. Your Yoongi.

“Why can’t you put me in your choices atleast? We’re soulmates and you’ve been my only choice but I’m– fuck!” you exclaim, sucking in a sharp breath when you feel a momentary stab at your chest. “You don’t even consider me to be a potential girlfriend even if my initials are on your finger!”

In another world, Yoongi doesn’t look at you with a clenched jaw when you speak your mind. The two of you have grown sick at this conversation but the difference in your world now is that you’re beyond angry at him, the frustration unmistakeable when you look at him.

“Why can’t it be me, Yoongi?” you seethe, fists clenched tightly that your knuckles turn white. “For fuck’s sake, when can it be me? When can it be my turn? When do you pick me?”

Yoongi didn’t mean for you to be heated with him. It was a practical joke, only following through with the half-hearted advice he gave you when he showed up at your apartment as Dusik.

He just wanted to prove a point that you don’t want to give up on him as much as he doesn’t want you to stop trying for him. It’s selfish, he’s selfish. And if only Yoongi could focus on how conceited he is rather than the anguish he feels about you being angry and upset at him, he would wipe off the arrogance from his face.

“I hate your job so, so fucking much. It looks pathetic to me even if I know you must enjoy it a lot,” you burst, saying your truth that you’ve tried to minimize in order to make way for his self-esteem. “Your business is to be these random people’s dream guy but you’re mine. You’re my dreamboat, my ideal guy, my person! I’m your soulmate but I feel like shit. Just utter, hopeless shit that you visit almost everyday because you don’t want to be alone!”

He can’t put it into words but in the simplest way he could put it, being alone feels like a punishment more than it is a solace. Yoongi lives alone and he can handle it, but him tolerating it doesn’t mean that he loves it.

It’s always been you and him, one way or another. In the trench of your love, waiting for Yoongi to come around is worth it. In the shore of your doubts however, the novelty of having Yoongi is starting to wear off.

You make up your mind then and there, the ascent from your trench to your shore increasingly coming fast by the day.

“Leave. You’re not staying the night here.”

Yoongi breaks by then, a dry sob leaving his throat while he tries to plead with the resoluteness in your tone.

“What kind of-“

“What kind of soulmate throws out their other half in the middle of the night?” you interrupt, knowing that Yoongi only mentions your status when he’s desperate. “The kind that doesn’t want to be soulmates anymore.”

You sound the most casual you’ve ever been and Yoongi’s annoyed at you for it, his eyes narrowed into slits. He’ll oblige for the night, on his way to the door when he looks at you.

“With all due respect, Y/N, screw you. You don’t mean that,” he mutters, chest heaving up and down. He’s convincing you as much as he’s convincing himself. “You’re just angry, you’re sad, and you don’t mean that.”

Your back’s turned to him when he leaves, or atleast attempts to do so because he doesn’t want to make his exit when you refuse to even look at him.

“I mean it right now, let’s focus on that,” you chuckle, already turning off the lights in the apartment without sparing a single glance at him. “Go away, Yoongi.”

( ♡ )

Unsurprisingly, you find Yoongi at your house the next day when you come home from work.

He probably has your key fob microchipped on him nowadays, your huge fight from last night not being enough to deter him from coming over. He’s a stubborn and mostly annoying stain you have in your life at the exact second, the two of you unwilling to apologize to each other.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you mutter, rolling your eyes when you set your bag down on the counter. You’re on a time crunch, the window you have of preparing yourself to look divine already closing down steadily.

“The fuck are you doing home?” Yoongi retorts just for the sake of it and simply because he wants to keep the conversation (if it was even called that) going, trying to ignore the fact that he totally bombed his comeback and makes up for it by staring at your leftover dumplings on his plate.

You’re busy fending for yourself, your eyes too preoccupied in rolling to the back of your head that you fail to notice Yoongi’s puffy with all the crying he did last night. You ignore him and go straight to your bedroom, not having enough time to multitask showering and fighting with him.

You’ve already went through your entire routine and dressed yourself up, the frustration in you only skyrocketing up when Yoongi’s still there in your kitchen.

“Either get out or move out of my way,” you say as you retrieve yourself a snack from your cupboards to munch on while you multitask, intentionally bumping your shoulder with him in the process. “I’m going out on a date.”

Yoongi heavily sighs, his fork clattering on the plate loudly. He tries to keep his emotions at bay because this is all his fault, the fight in his body tensing his shoulders.

“You’re lashing out.”

“I’m not lashing out,” you argue, looking at the clock to see if you could still fit in fighting with Yoongi between spraying your perfume and meeting your date by the front door. “Lashing out would be me bringing my date home and fucking him loudly in my room.”

He stabs the dumplings a little too harshly and a little too unnecessarily, fitting two in his mouth while clenching his fists because he knows a nasty remark is just bubbling to be said.

Yoongi’s being childish and your patience has already run thin to deal with him especially when you’re mad, the huff that leaves you sounding extremely personal.

“What are you even doing here? Go back to your house.”

“My appointment’s just at the next block. Your place is closer.”

“You could’ve just driven there directly instead of camping out here.”

Yoongi sarcastically smiles, his eyes in crescents as he makes a show of tilting his head. “Can I notspend time anymore with my best friend? My soulmate, even?”

“Stop saying the s-word,” you grit. “Don’t say that when I bring Jimin home.”

The resounding tension that envelopes the two of you finally snaps, manifesting into a scoff from Yoongi so offended and loud that it resonated in your apartment like a clap of thunder.

“Jimin from high school? You’re exes for a reason, remember?” he exclaims, eyes blinking in disbelief because he figures he must’ve heard you wrong. “He broke up with you when he went abroad for college because he can’t do long-distance. What makes you think he’ll give you the time of day this time?”

None of his words register in your head, blissfully letting them fly over. Jimin only invited you to catch up and you obliged; it’s not like you didn’t have years of love amongst yourselves to shroud yourself in anonymisity. Plus, it’s not like he asked you to try again with him — it’s dinner. Just dinner.

“He’s already outside. Also, it’s clearly a short distance this time.”

“Don’t be smart with me,” Yoongi scoffs, standing up abruptly with his arms across his chest. “I’m gonna barricade the door if you come home with him.”

“Good. I can come home with him to his place.”

“I’ll barricade his door,” he retorts without even thinking, his brows knotted in exasperation.

“Go fuck yourself,” you narrow your eyes at him, letting your glare at him linger until you get to the front door. “While I fuck Jimin.”

“You’re so-“

Yoongi points an accusing finger at you, unable to finish his sentence now that you’ve left. You’re stubborn.

If he’s being honest, the thought of you merely giving Jimin the time of day makes him uneasy. It puts a void on his stomach and an even larger cavity in his chest.

And if Yoongi’s being more honest, he doesn’t even have an appointment nearby. He just wanted to be with you whichever way he can.

( ♡ )

Yoongi used to hate crossfit.

He hated even the concept of it because the trainers for it at the gym have a superiority complex when talking about it as if it was revolutionary; as if launching yourself a feet into the air while doing push-ups from point to point was groundbreaking.

Even his friend, Jungkook, knowsjust how much he hates it. He didn’t particularly have a preference when it comes to working out, but Yoongi’s random and unprovoked hate for random things is starting to rub off on him. They both hate crossfit… right?

Jungkook doesn’t know how to react when he sees Yoongi doing pull-ups with one hand diagonally while a kettlebell’s on the other. He doesn’t know what to feel seeing him agitatedly do push-ups while wearing a weighted vest and with his feet up on a medicine ball.

Jungkook, for a fact, does not know what his cue should be when he sees Yoongi running 24kph on a treadmill with his eyes fixated on the phone in his hand, although he’s about 99% sure that this is not exactly crossfit.

He’s known him for years now and there’s barely anything between them that they don’t know about each other. Jungkook, however, doesn’t know the threshold of Yoongi’s emotional constipation, slightly concerned when he sees his friend’s mind drift elsewhere.

“Yoongi, are we okay there buddy?”

“Huh?” he squints, looking up from his dessert which he’s just been staring at the past two minutes.

Jungkook clears his throat, vaguely mentioning to the poor utensil in his hand. “You’re bending the fork.”

“It was already bent when you handed it to me,” he weakly counters, setting the metal down without much concern.

“I uhm, I really don’t think so.”

Yoongi only supplies with him a scowl and normally, being the filial and nosey friend that he is, it was cue for him to inquire what was going on. Jungkook likes including himself and it’s one of the numerous things he has in common with Yoongi, but it was clear as day just how differently it manifests for each of them.

Yoongi’s only been staring at the mocha crepe cake because he knows he would be incessantly interrupted by Jungkook once he started eating it, but come to to think of it, the younger hasn’t asked him even once.

He narrows his eyes at him, crossing his arms with a sly look to his face.

“What are you waiting for? I know you’re dying to ask me.”

Jungkook scoffs, rolling his eyes so passionately that Yoongi saw you in him for a second. “No, you’re dying to be asked. It’s always like this! You want to get something out of your chest but you always need me to ask first and then you pretend like you don’t like it.”

His face is far too straight and he got to the point really quickly with his delivery, his posture standing straight at the unimpressed look Yoongi gives him.

“Sorry. Your emotional constipation’s rubbing off of on me,” he hums sickeningly, batting his eyes. “Yes, Yoongi? What seems to be on your mind?”

Not even a second goes by before Yoongi breaks, his shoulders falling in recollection. “It’s Y/N. You already know my deal with her.”

“Of course I do. Aren’t we basically the same?” Jungkook tilts his head in thought. “Longtime best friends with our soulmates but the only difference is that the two of you knew at the beginning?” he continues, mixing his drink with his straw just to cushion the impending blow this conversation might inflict on him. “And uhm, that you spend every waking moment refusing her but magically, your friendship isn’t ruined over it?”

“You go on and on like an audiobook.”

He’s not the least bit offended because he does have the voice for it, but it wasn’t so audiobook-ish of him when his hands flail and his voice pitches in remembrance. “Oh also, you’re a shapeshifter! Poor Y/N has to watch you date all these people except her.”

“Which side are you on?” Yoongi looks down on his feet, the sigh that leaves him slowly weighing as much as the conflict in his mind. “There’s one more difference, by the way. I think she’s making me jealous.”

Now, Jungkook doesn’t flatter Yoongi all too much because his ego outnumbers his and that’s coming from him! But this is the one time that Jungkook has to hand it to him, his friend’s delivery and impeccable timing giving him the best chuckle he’s had this week.

“She’s intentionally making you jealous? God, Yoongi. Are we skimming over the fact that maybe she’s just grown sick of you?”

“You don’t get it!” he whines. “She’s entertaining her ex from high school. This stupidly blonde, stupidly genius, stupidly always available guy named Jimin! What a stupid name too. Seriously, he’s so-…”

The café’s well-lit and the acoustics are good too but there’s just this one cloud that forms above Jungkook when Yoongi mentions Jimin’s name, his brows suddenly furrowing in annoyance.

“Jimin?” he clarifies. “Jimin who?”

“This isn’t a knock-knock joke.”

The urge to smack Yoongi would always be larger than Jungkook’s intent to be the bigger person, his curiosity bursting at the seams. “What’s his family name, you idiot?”

“Why does it matter? You don’t know him anyway. It’s Park Jimin,” Yoongi rolls his eyes as he soothes the side of his head, equally as annoyed now.

The gasp coming from Jungkook alone shushes the entire café, his eyes as expressive as ever and his voice even louder, forcing Yoongi to sink further to his seat until the onlookers take their eyes away from the table.

“You’re joking me!” he booms, running his hands though his hair in a frenzy. “Guy from Busan, stayed until high school, then went to Harvard for college?”

“How do you know him?” Yoongi questions but at this point the how doesn’t matter as much as the why, his friend’s expression enough to keep him at the edge of his seat.

“Because he tried poaching my soulmate too!” Jungkook exclaims, pausing between words because he’s still speechless. “It’s this long story. We’re distant family friends, then I almost lost my bond, then-…”

Yoongi shushes him, putting up a hand for the both of them to stay on track. “Can we get back to me? Can we put a pause on the Jungkook and soulmate show?”

They’re a duo of insufferable people, one more self-absorbed and insufferable than the other. Jungkook sees much of his past self in Yoongi despite the latter being older, the irony of the situation rendering him breathless.

“What do I do about Jimin? Surely, he has a soulmate and it’s definitely not my Y/N,” Yoongi desperately asks for advice even if he thinks it’s beneath him, rubbing his face with his hands.

Jungkook thanks the universe and his soulmate for shaping him to be a better person because he could now hear what he used to sound like back then and by god was he emotionally constipated.

“My Y/N?” he mimics. “Let’s get you back to bed, uncle.”

He makes the internal reminder to get Yoongi away from crossfit because the punch that lands on his thigh is definitely powerful, making him wince loudly that once agains puts the both of them at the center of attention.

“Ow! What?! You can’t just refuse to be a thing with Y/N but then gatekeep her the moment she entertains another guy. That’s not how it works, believe me! I’ve literally been there before.”

Yoongi can hear Jungkook, but he doesn’t exactly understand.

He’s not oblivious to continue refusing the parallels between him and Jungkook but surely, the way it worked out for his friend means that it would for him too, right?

He’s in denial but he’s not there at the stage yet where he actually acknowledges that he is, stuck in the realm of hope that you’re not sick of him yet.

“Okay what if– what if we try to find out who this Jimin’s soulmate is? Look for them, pluck just one strand of hair, and I shapeshift into them? Then I’ll tell him to back off from other people and only focus on his soulmate!”

Jungkook winces, scratching his head. “That’s wrong. And unethical. You have so many things to unpack, Yoongi.”

“It’s not my fault I can shapeshift!” he exasperatedly sighs, briefly mirroring Jungkook by shifting to him just to prove a point.

“It’s your fault that you’re this constipated to be willing to go to great lengths just to steer Y/N away from Jimin!”

“What do I do then?” Yoongi groans, plunking his head onto the table. He doesn’t even have to raise his head for Jungkook to know that he’s nearing a dead end, his hope about to run out sooner or later. “What did you do?”

“I woke up. Figured I was too self-absorbed back then to realize that it’s always been her for me.”

Jungkook shakes his friend, prompting him to start eating the crepe cake he treated him to but refuse to eat because he’s still wallowing in worry over where he stands with you.

“Wake up, Yoongi,” he sighs, looking down on the markings on his own ring finger that he thanks the heavens for every single day. “The universe works in mysterious ways.”

( ♡ )

Yoongi prides himself for having 20/20 vision.

He’s always boasted about his vision not deceiving him even once, the constant praise whenever he gets his yearly check-ups fully seeping into his head.

He’s neither suffering from a hangover nor vertigo. Yoongi’s mind is in a sound and safe place which is why he doesn’t get how it could be playing jokes on him now, the most crucial of times he’s been going through with you.

Your soulmate mark has completely disappeared.

It simply cannot be true to how his initials disappeared overnight and you just woke up one day to see that they’re gone. Yoongi’s hand is gripping yours tightly as if you’d suddenly disappear too, the glare he has at your ring finger vacant and unnerving at the same time.

“It’s blank. Oh my god, it’s completely blank,” your eyes can’t seem to believe it too, a silent gasp leaving you in shock.

You’ve already said your piece but it’s not what Yoongi’s looking for. You’re not as distraught nor panicked as he is and he knows right there that you’re only fucking with him, making him sigh in exhaustion.

“It’s obvious why you didn’t study liberal arts,” he mutters, rubbing your finger furiously. It makes absolutely no sense when not a single hint of his initials peek through, the worry over his lack of a mark on you growing by the second.

“Huh?” Yoongi says under his breath, his pursuit of trying to get your stint to budge leading him closer to you to the point that your foreheads almost bump when he looks to you. “Okay, what’s the secret? You used pot concealer instead of liquid? You color-corrected? Tons of setting spray?” he tries, licking his lips that turned dry in exasperation. He’s running out of ways you could’ve executed this, mind turning up empty. “You uh, you got it tattooed over with your exact shade match?”

The dread that fills Yoongi is liquid hurt. It builds up from droplets and takes form wherever it flows, turning murky in contained and neglected spaces. He can’t move on from the hurt that’s in his chest when he glances at your empty ring finger and then to his that still has yours; that still links you to him, yet unreciprocated.

“Why is it not budging?”

“You’re rubbing all the way to my bone,” you chuckle, unable to read the anxiousness behind his tone. He looks disturbed even, lips parted with no explanation coming to mind.

“You’ve got me, Y/N,” he painfully chuckles, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. He bites too hard that he draws blood, eyes flickering ever so often. “Where did you hide the cameras this time?”

“Yoongi, I’m telling you! It’s really blank!” you chuckle but not as easily as the last time, sensing the atmosphere in the room that only favored you but not him. “Quick, walk into the wall. Let’s see if I feel it!”

He doesn’t know how you still have it in you to joke. He doesn’t know how you’re not panicking and as much as he’s figured that this is only one of the rare times where the universe favors you, he didn’t know it would result to this.

“First, I’m not walking into a wall. Second, you stop lying to me.”

“I’m not lying! I’m really serious!” your hands raise in defense, taking a step away from him. The starting notes of your laugh start to build but it never comes out fully because Yoongi interrupts you with a bitter laugh, throwing his head back in frustration.

You’re laughing. You’re unfazed and you’re laughing at Yoongi being at the end of his rope, his worry over losing his soulmate turning unrequited.

“Well then congrats on not having me as a soulmate anymore. I’m so happy for you!”

“What’s with the attitude?” you raise an eyebrow at him, scoffing in retaliation. It had only been lighthearted (for you, atleast) awhile ago and perhaps, maybe even humorous. You didn’t expect that he would receive the news like this at all. “No, congratulations to you, Yoongi, because you’ve been whining for years how you don’t want me and now you finally got it!”

The truth you say has been Yoongi’s for the longest time and the old him would’ve been thrilled because you finally got it. You finally got where he’s coming from and he didn’t need to deal with you pining after him but now that the realization comes here, one that you say to his face — it doesn’t feel good at all.

“Yeah, and I know and regret that now because I didn’t actually think the universe would listen!” his voice raises, pointing at his chest. “Fuck me for not thinking that the universe would stop to listen to my half-hearted wishes, am I right?”

“You’re right. Fuck you, actually!” you agree in spite, practically spitting your next words. “You’re so conceited. Why are you turning on me the moment you get what you thought you wanted?”

Yoongi doesn’t get it too.

He doesn’t get how he lets the flaw of his own insistence slip through his fingers so carelessly. He doesn’t even know what he wanted in the first place and it terrorizes him to know that he might just never know why, the answer for it only seen as a distant memory of you.

He doesn’t get how long he’s retained his insistence of preserving his safety zone by trying to deter you from loving him, when in reality, you’re the epitome of security itself. He didn’t think it through at all.

Yoongi didn’t think when he spent the past few years of his life rejecting your confessions and proposals in every opportunity that he could. Didn’t even leave you hanging from a thread of hope at all that he’d like you back; just a clean, straight refusal.

He didn’t stop to consider that the universe works in mysterious ways, because if he did earlier, he would’ve prayed to make you stay despite not being the type to get on his knees at all.

“Because I didn’t actually think we would stop being soulmates! I didn’t think that there’d be a reality where we aren’t together!” his voice cracks, his hands trembling at his sides. “It’s always been us, Y/N. I’ll always want you around.”

“Do you just want me around or do you want me?” you ask, the silence that follows after it being an accumulation of the ones you’ve had to spent alone when he rejected you. “I can’t be the background noise in your life, Yoongi. Not anymore. Y-yes, I know there are soulmates that are meant to be platonic but I don’t want that,” you stress, the tears springing to your eyes. “I can’t have that.”

It’s an ultimatum you didn’t know you would ever make at all.

“It’s either you have me as your soulmate or you don’t have me at all,” you say in strength, your thumb hovering about the ghost of his initials on your finger. “I can’t stand being your friend anymore.”

“You’d throw that away?” Yoongi croaks, taken aback. “You’d throw that– us away after all this time?”

“I would.”

“Your initials are still on my finger,” he reminds, sniffling as he pushes his hair back. This can’t be. You seriously can’t be posing this ultimatum to him, one that would determine both his present and future.

“Yours aren’t on mine,” you shot back. The lump on your throat is far too large to even swallow, each breath you take making it harder for you. “For the love of god, Yoongi, can you not deflect?”

Yoongi’s the most panicked that he’s ever been in his life and in your surprising and rarely selfish nature, you don’t even pause.

“This is a big decision, Y/N! Can’t you please just give me some time to think?”

“No. You’ve had enough time to think when you’ve been stringing me around for years.”

The hurt that bubbles up in Yoongi comes like a riptide, unsuspecting yet just as devastating. There’s no pause between his words, much too smooth and articulate for someone who’s as panicked as he is now. They’ve stayed at the tip of his tongue before and lingered in the back of his mind even longer.

“I can’t think because I’m not sure about you, Y/N! I’m not sure if I’ve always kept you around because I want us to be more like soulmates than we are as friends,” he sobs. “I don’t know if I can love you how you love me.”

The liquid hurt in Yoongi’s bones solidifies but yours evaporates. It should hurt for you — you know that it should pain you the most now. You wait and you wait for the hiss before the sting but it doesn’t come.

The weight lifts off from you instantly and you don’t even know why or how it happens. Whatever it was though, you let it carry your burdens for you. You only painfully nod, leaving Yoongi in your own house.

Yoongi can’t love you the way you love him — it’s the answer you’re looking for now, and it’s the same answer you swallowed down when you first professed your love for him years ago.

Jimin didn’t expect you to report back to him this quickly and this late at night to say the very least, his sleepiness being pushed back when you stand at his door.

You slur the words but you’re not even drunk with alcohol. You’ve walked the long way to Jimin in order to take off your mind from your fight with Yoongi but there was just something n your system, one that made you even forget who you were fleeing.

There’s no Yoongi that comes into your mind during your walk, in fact, you were starting to think that the name didn’t even make sense to you because you couldn’t put a face to it. All you knew was where you’re going and who you were going to — only Jimin.

The more you walked and the more you came closer to Jimin, it was only him that filled your mind. In fact, you didn’t even know where you came from at this point, the details a blur in your head except for Jimin who’s standing in front of you.

“It worked. He bought it.”

It’s the last words that Jimin heard from you before you quite literally froze up, eyes closing solemnly despite standing upright until you open them again, the glaze behind it shining brighter the more you looked at him.

“Jimin, my love,” you drawl, squealing in delight as you launch yourself to him in a hug. “What a handsome soulmate I have.”

Jimin flushes at the realization, frozen in his position as he only puts his hand at the small of your back, patting you in comfort.

He needs some pen and paper, his notes, and the brainpower to calculate his next decision.

( ♡ )

Yoongi makes no move to drive himself home.

He doesn’t even have the willpower to leave from where you left him, his knees giving in to situate himself on the couch where he could sink further in his self-loathing. He has half the mind to recognize that you need the space, especially tonight, even if it means leaving the comfort of your own home because he (your demise) was there.

He doesn’t know anything, other than the fact that he’s repulsive and he wants nothing more than to go seek you but he doesn’t know where he should start; if you would even want to see him in the event that he finds you.

He considers calling your phone and at this point, he’d be contented even with the line ringing or you declining. Yoongi stays rooted in your house as a placeholder that he doesn’t even know you would be acclimated to having, stuck in the very space with no purpose at all.

He’s waiting for either you or a miracle and both revolve around him being able to see you for just one more time, then another, then again and again after so. He’s waiting for you and only you, and he didn’t even think you would come through the door in first place — much more with someone else.

The door beeps open and Yoongi launches himself from where he sat, his stance protective the moment his eyes land on you and Jimin.

The guy is just as shocked to see Yoongi of all people, lips parted open in surprise. Jimin’s just about to ask Yoongi what the hell he’s doing here in the first place but he’s cut off when you grumble against his neck, forgetting momentarily that you were clinging to him by the hip the whole time.

“What are you doing with Y/N?” Yoongi questions, taking large steps towards the both of you. There’s practically smoke coming off from the top of his head, his fists clenched at his sides,

“Taking her to her room, obviously,” Jimin scoffs, attempting to dodge past Yoongi with you in tow but to no avail, the latter’s arm outstretched.

“She’s drunk.”

“She’s not,” Jimin insists, punctuating his desperation.

He moves past Yoongi this time but he doesn’t get far at all, his arm being wrung tightly. His hand awaits on your back out of instinct, the whiplash putting the both of them on edge.

“Hey, buddy, Y/N’s drunk.”

Jimin groans, prying Yoongi’s hand off him just as easily as he clamped it. “She’s not drunk! Not in that way, atleast,” he mutters, putting you closer to his chest that sets off Yoongi further. “Just back off.”

“What do you mean not in that way?” Yoongi bursts, his vision darkening. He sets out a hand once again to get you away from Jimin, his hold on you much gentler. “Asshole. I said don’t-…”

“She’s drunk, but not actually drunk!” Jimin caves, pinching his nosebridge but not before swatting away Yoongi’s hand. The latter belatedly realizes that Jimin’s not even holding onto you to keep you steady, it was purely you clinging to him. Jimin can’t put it into proper, technical terms because he’s always known that Yoongi isn’t his equal ever since high school, dumbing it down the best as he could that it physically makes him shudder.

“She’s drunk… in love.”

“What?” Yoongi squints, his face contorted into confusion and disbelief at the same time. “Are you high?”

“I’m not high. I mean it!” he groans, throwing his head back. He looks at you while you slip in and out of consciousness, his thumb underneath your chin to get you to look up. “Y/N’s literally drunk in love.”

You being attached to Jimin doesn’t make sense. What Jimin’s saying now isn’t making sense. You immediately coming to your ex, Jimin, after your fight with him doesn’t make any sense. None of everything that’s happening is making sense and Yoongi’s head is bound to erupt any time, the migraine forming in his temples giving Jimin a smaller window to explain.

“My friends and I made this drug for our company’s upcoming breakthrough and Y/N volunteered to try it out.”

“You drugged her?!” Yoongi yells, eyes wide and furious.

“I think you have selective hearing,” Jimin grits, offended at the insinuation. “It’s this drug that’s supposed to temporarily desensitize you to your soulmate, okay? It worked because clearly your initials are gone from her.”

None of them should be making sense but it does. It scares Yoongi that this whole thing could be condensed down to an explanation because it only makes it much more real; much more vulnerable.

“So I’m still her soulmate?” he asks with a lump on his throat, his rage simmering down back into sadness.

“Yeah, unfortunately,” Jimin snorts, running a hand through his hair. “It’d last for a week but we have yet to know all of the possible side effects,” he kisses his teeth, going through his internal checklist. “So far, we found out that although it desensitizes a person towards their soulmate,” he trails, perhaps a little bit amused if he was saying the truth. “They cling to the first person they see.”

How awful, Yoongi thinks.

“Y/N’s drunk in me,” Jimin announces with a grin. “She thinks I’m her soulmate.”

You’re waking up little by little and Jimin figures that your unconsciousness is only temporary and a one-time thing, considering that you’re back to trying to entangle all of your limbs with him in an eager embrace.

“Snap out of it, Y/N,” Yoongi says outloud to you, completely disregarding that Jimin’s still in the room.

He even makes a move to try and pull you away from him but to no avail, his interruption only making you raise an eyebrow at him. You look at Yoongi from afar despite being near and it’s haunting, the tilt in your head giving your sentiments away.

“Who are you?” you question genuinely, brows furrowed slightly. You turn back to the person you know most in this room at the moment, who’s none other than Jimin. “Who’s he, Jimin?”

“You don’t know this guy?” he questions, his mind computing rapidly.

“Not at all,” you confirm, not sparing a single glance back at Yoongi.

There’s a tense silence because all that Yoongi could hear now is the fuzz in his brain and the pulsing of his heart, his chest deflating in anguish.

“You promise me? You don’t know this guy at all?” Jimin confirms to you once more, assessing you deeply.

“I promise. I’d never lie to you,” you say with a frown, both of the guys knowing that from your tone alone, all you’re saying is the truth.

Jimin takes it down quickly, his tone more somber and less hostile than before.

“That’s another side effect then. Not only can it desensitize, but it also makes you forget about your soulmate completely.”

The two of them are talking as if you’re not in the room with them but it doesn’t make a difference otherwise because you’re only focused on Jimin, your eyes all endeared just by the silhouette of him alone.

Yoongi can’t will his mind to focus on just one thing, his frustration coming off as a strangled yelp.

“You’re shitting me! Make an antidote or something!”

“We still have to wait out the whole week.”

“It’s like you’re just asking me to slap you!” he grits, hand outstretched already yet retreating when Jimin mocks him in return, pointing at you whose head is turned from Yoongi. Of course, you think Yoongi’s your soulmate — of course you’d shower him with affection.

“Can you guys be any louder? I wanna sleep. Please take me to bed,” your attention’s only turned to Jimin, the guy nodding earnestly.

He’s about to coax you into your room when a voice cuts into the air, an eager tap being placed on your shoulder.

“I’m Yoongi.”

You look back at the guy who introduced himself, a smile on his face that doesn’t quite reach his eyes but looks like he’s just begging to be given a sliver of attention.

You don’t mind him though.

“Hi, Yoongi,” you curtly respond, turning your back on him. “Take me to bed, Jimin.”

( ♡ )

Your vocabulary’s not affected by Jimin’s experiment at all, except for the fact that the word you utter most is his name and barely Yoongi’s.

He neither came home nor went to sleep, his mind not being granted even a single second of rest because all he can think about how this is only a mere, flawed glimpse of what you would be like if he wasn’t your soulmate anymore and it’s terrifying. It puts goosebumps onto his skin and instills the fear of fate on him, obvious by the way he’s only been functioning long enough for the past hours for the sake of reliving the same alternate reality again and again.

You come out of your room and there’s still that same dazed look on your face, eyes less crazed but more yearning. Yoongi awaits any reaction from you that would lead him to think everything that’s happened in the last 24 hours is only a figment of his imagination.

It’s early in the morning but the sorrow from the evening already hits you through a frown, your eyes darting everywhere.

“Where’s Jimin?” you ask, shaking your head. “Why am I still here?”

“You live here,” Yoongi answers, keeping his hands to himself. He begrudgingly makes the internal note to relay your momentary forgetting to Jimin later even if talking to him is the last thing he’ll ever want to do.

You gasp then, eagerly nodding your head because that one piece of information definitely traces back to you. “Oh, right,” you nod, your lip curling once again. “Why are you here?”

Yoongi’s not sure how he should answer that.

He’s unsure if he should answer that he’s here and stayed the night because he was worried sick about you after your fight, almost driven to passing out in overwhelm especially when Jimin brought you home.

He doesn’t know if he should say that in your home because it’s only rational since you’re soulmates, and that he dislikes being alone, and that being with you calms him down an infinite amount; if he could just skim over the fact that you barely have any recollection of him and will continue to do so for the next week.

Yoongi can’t determine to whether or not he should tell you that he wants to spend every second with you because should be the precursor for you to believe that you don’t want him anymore, he’s left with a memory of you, no matter how painful.

“Because I live here too,” he says a half-truth, trailing off in remembrance of you nagging him to go back to his house.

“We live together?” you question once again, your face contorted in confusion. “Why?”

You don’t even mean malice with it and Yoongi knows that exactly, the bit of realization even more painful because he knew that you would question him with snark and tears otherwise. In your foggy, Jimin-centric brain, it doesn’t make sense why you and Yoongi practically live together.

Because we’re soulmates, he wants to answer.

It’s the same question he asks himself because he doesn’t know how you let him either — when in reality, he already knows why and it’s because you love him. The even bigger question is if he was even deserving of you.

“Because we wanted to,” Yoongi leaves it at that, clearing his throat as he pushes a plate towards you that he put together on short notice. “Here’s breakfast. This is your favorite.”

You don’t even move to thank him curtly, head tilting in curiosity. You have all the questions yet he doesn’t know if he has all the answers, his heart hurting whichever way he addresses you.

“But why do we want to live with each other?”

“Because we care for each other.” (Read: because we’re soulmates and because we’ve been friends and soulmates our whole lives and I don’t ever see us parting.)

You nod at Yoongi’s brief answer, stuck in staring off to space for a couple of seconds before you swallow down everything.

“Oh,” you hum somewhat satisfied. “You know where Jimin is?” you open a new line of questioning this time, tone picking up more. “Do we live with him or is it just the two of us?”

Jimin’s testing out his method of withdrawing himself this time, living out the remainder of the week by not making any contact with you and assigning Yoongi to report back to him. He’s not even meant to say everything to you in technical terms, knowing that he has to make up lies the whole week regarding Jimin’s whereabouts.

It’s only and should be a simple, trivial question regarding your living situation but Yoongi can’t help the hiccup that builds in his chest, heart heavy with nothing he can do about.

“Just the two of us,” Yoongi mutters, tracing your initials on his finger discreetly. It was one of the things you did when you felt like confessing to him silently, eyes not even meeting each other’s for you to tell him that you love him. He’s desperate to have you do it to him again — pathetically and helplessly pleading for you to come back to him again. “Always just the two of us.”

Yoongi finds it admirable that you grow warmer to him by the night, nevermind that you’re not doing it for familiarity but rather to get closer to Jimin through him.

Not once does he leave your side whenever you stroll back out to thr living room, plopping onto the couch to eat dinner made by him to which you aren’t weirded about. You no longer inquired him why he’s here, just accepting his presence because the back of your mind tells you that you’re used to him in the first place.

“I miss Jimin,” he hears you sigh for the umpteenth time, an automatic rigid smile painted on his face. He doesn’t want to hear about him at all actually, however he’d do anything just to get you to keep talking in the event that it’s the last he’ll hear from you.

“You don’t say,” he hums, tuning out his name as he tries to pretend that it’s his instead.

You can’t distinguish the far relaxed nature to Yoongi’s intonations because after all, you barely remember any of him and his quirks for you to compare his attitude to. For all you know, he’s just a calm and calculating person that you know in your life, one whose eyes just can’t stop straying to his hands.

Yoongi doesn’t want to feel like he’s mourning but the feeling in his chest is akin to it anyway, something resembling repentance rising out of it from nowhere when you let your curiosity get the best of you.

You’re unfathomably upset because Jimin’s nowhere to be found. One second you’re sighing and at the other you become molten aluminum at thrashing just to see him.

It’s painful to see you like this and he tries his best to gather you to his arms to calm you down, shushing you to the best of his abilities that annoy you even further.

“I don’t want you! I want Jimin!”

“I’m the only one you have,” he says just as urgently, releasing you from his hold but you melt to him anyway, in a fit of tears with your hands covering your face.

It hurts to see you yearn for another person who isn’t him (read: your soulmate) and it hurts more to even grasp that this could’ve been your vignette the whole time that he’s been working, perhaps even the whole time that you’ve been pining after him.

“But I don’t wanna have you,” you enunciate with a sob that wracks your body yet destroy Yoongi’s core, his intake of breath being shallower the more that you refuse him.

“Can you find him for me please? Did I do anything wrong? Maybe he’ll respond to your texts.”

“You’ve never done anything wrong,” he comes to his sense just to scold you, eyes narrowing of why you could’ve conjured up such a thing.

“But I must’ve done something,” you whine. “Jimin doesn’t love me.”

“It’s impossible not to love you,” Yoongi interjects faster than the impulsive thought had formed in your brain, his eyes stern and promising. “Your soulmate must be the luckiest bastard in the world.”

You hear him once again but you can’t understand him, the words meaning nothing to you because you aren’t even sure of the level of relation you had with him before your memory became hazy.

“But my soulmate doesn’t even love me back!”

You have him there, ironic that you’re going through the same situation twice. You’ve went through it with Yoongi for years genuinely, while you’ve been going through it with Jimin for five days because of an experiment.

“He loves you,” he says it in confidence and assurance, his hands unknowingly making their way to grip your shoulders for you to look at him when he’s speaking the truth. “He’s a conceited asshole and he’s really flawed, but he’s trying his best to love you more than you deserve,” his voice cracks briefly, clearing his throat. “Must be hard to swallow down the fact that the universe is too generous to him because he has you for a soulmate. He must feel like he’s the scum of the earth because he has the greatest, most lovable person in the world loving him, and he used to take it for granted.”

It’s warm. Too warm, too personal, and too familiar — and in your head, Jimin is the only person in your head who fills all three boxes.

“Jimin feels like that?”

“Hmm,” Yoongi agrees, lying easily. “He also hopes that it’s not too late.”

In a moment’s notice, he furthers the distance between the two of you as if the oddly-spurred passionate conversation the two of you had never happened.

Your memory’s not acting up when you remember that you came out to join Yoongi to talk about Jimin, but now, you wouldn’t believe yourself that it’s actually the reason you came out.

This time it’s you who reaches out for Yoongi, clearing your throat.

“Who’s that?” you point to his ring finger, eyes peeking at the initials. It’s just like yours, the irony of it making you giggle. “That’s not me, isn’t it?”

“And if it was?” Yoongi asks, eyes still gentle but his voice much too mellow to the point that you’d think he isn’t breathing.

“I wouldn’t believe you,” you answer, carelessly shrugging.

Yoongi purses his lips and he knows he should stop prodding now because the last time he did, it ended with him driving you right into Jimin’s arms to experiment him out of your life. He can’t hold his tongue now, even when he knows he’s bound to suffer from himself anyway.

“Why not?”

“Because if that’s me, then I should be in love with you right now and not Jimin,” you trail, your tone reeking obviousness. It’s clear enough for you, atleast, but Yoongi takes nothing but murkiness from it.

“Hmm,” he hums, pointing to your hand. “Why do you love Jimin if his initials aren’t on your finger then?”

“You got me there,” you snort, the words unwilling to roll off easily from your mouth. In fact, nothing forms in your mind anyway, just a mere vision that you can discern yet not verbalize. “I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I just love him.”

It’s a confession that sets you apart from the soulmate that Yoongi knows, all before you had been desperate enough to desensitize yourself to his very existence.

“You can’t explain love?” he asks gently, eyes lowering down in thought.

“Can anybody?” you counter resignedly, the concept of just settling for the fact that there’s things that are unexplainable being enough for you.

Yoongi feels the most alive that he’s felt since the past day, the smile on his face being so nostalgic and sentimental to you for some reason that it momentarily makes you dizzy.

“My soulmate can. She’d profess her love for me every chance she gets. Would do it in all the ways she could find.”

You can explain love. You’re talkative and you always have the right words to say. You have the stubbornness in you that when put to its fullest power, puts his ego to shame. You have the convincing power of a company in you, one that has nothing to its name and only its very being to prove with.

You can put love into words and it’s daunting how you can condense everything you’ve ever felt for Yoongi into the many confessions you give him. In your loud drunken spiels all the way to your silent telepathic stints — you’re the embodiment of love. You can explain love and it makes sense because you would know your own.

“She sounds like a handful,” you murmur, brows furrowed to how Yoongi describes someone who’s clearly not on the same wavelength as he is with lovesick dedication in his face.

“She’s my handful though.”

“Does she come by here often then?” your brows raise, your headache throbbing the more that Yoongi speaks to you.

“You already know her,” Yoongi smiles tightly, looking right through you. He looks at you like he’s a dog that looks for its owner, ready to be at your beck and call. “I just don’t know if you can’t recognize her.”

“Show me a picture! Maybe it’ll jog my memory,” you offer enthusiastically, already knowing that you’re missing bits here and there but maybe seeing Yoongi’s soulmate would push you to remember faster.

“Maybe another time.”

Yoongi’s turned solemn, breathing shallowly as if he doesn’t want you to have a clue that you’re even seeing him right now.

“It’s just a picture! You looked like you were gonna cry when you were talking about her,” you pout, giving in eventually. “Aw, come on! You’re not sharing her?”

“No,” he answers almost immediately, masking his certainty with an uneasy chuckle. “I hope not.”

( ♡ )

You feel fuzzy.

Fuzzy in the sense that you remember clearly the two days you’ve lived but operated with your mind from afar; every interaction and every word crystal clear.

Fuzzy in the sense that it’s overwhelming, the good kind this time, but still overwhelming to the point that you have to take a breather outside of your apartment that feels suffocating to be in.

You’re five days ahead of schedule, the effect of the pill that was supposed to desensitize you to Yoongi and have other as drastic side effects being cut early.

It’s only relief that fills you when you walk out and hear Yoongi’s light snores in your guest bedroom instead of the living room, alleviating your momentary guilt at leaving this time — but only to give yourself the space to think, of course.

It’s only solace that envelopes you when you screw your eyes shut and look to your ring finger while you hold your breath, the consolation of seeing Yoongi’s initials still on there satiating you.

You’re not in your room and not even in the apartment at all. You’re not at the hallway and not even anywhere in your entire apartment complex. You’re not at the convenience store nearby where you typically go on walks just to take your mind off things and buy yourself snacks. He’s already checked and checked — Yoongi can’t find you anywhere.

He fears the worst. The absolute, most heartbreaking worst. He can’t even fathom where he got the strength to dial your number on his phone because he thought he would be faced with nothing, the proof that you’ve cut all ties with him by disconnecting completely.

Yoongi doesn’t know what possesses him when you answer easily on the second ring, your voice lighthearted.

“You’re wrong,” you hum. “Your apartment’s easy to break into just like mine.”

“Where are you?” Yoongi asks first amongst the other hundred questions he’s been dying to do so, the relief that fills him unable to be topped. You’ve just said your location but he still asks, hesitant that this may just be some cruel joke.

You stay quiet at your side of the line, looking around his place with a fondness you can’t even begin to start tackling.

“I’m at home.”

There’s nothing that comes to your mind besides the fact that it actually looks like your home. It resembles your home when you only had a mattress on the floor and no bedframe when you moved in, when you started sticking up pictures with tape that you didn’t know would ruin the walls, and when you finally found your sense of the style and had the finances and time to do it — it resembles your home all at the same time.

There’s several pictures of you and Yoongi together that line up the walls and the shelves, notes written behind them in your handwriting that you didn’t think he would keep.

Your parcels that he received with your name on it are all gathered near the doorway, the flyers of your favorite restaurants hung up by the fridge. Yoongi’s house looks more like your home and it almost brings you to tears.

He never noticed it, in fact. Hasn’t noticed the way that his definition of his home has shifted to your taste and how his definition of love turned into you. It had been gradually building through the years that Yoongi hasn’t stopped to figure that your home has become his, all to the point that he’s been living in it the whole time.

“I’m waiting,” you mutter as soon as you open the door to Yoongi who had ran all the way here in a frenzy, chest heaving up and down. “I’m waiting for you to make it up to me.”

“I’ll do that and more,” Yoongi nods in earnest and immediately leaps in to kiss you, finally feeling that you’ve given him the opportunity to breathe.

He kisses you so endearingly that you’re surprised you haven’t done it before with him because the way he does so feels like second nature. He breathes you in until he feels like he can exhale, catching his breath as he settles his head to the crook of your neck.

“I was waiting for that too,” you snort, speaking at the same time as him.

“What I said that night-…”

“I remember,” you interrupt. “You’re not the scum of the earth, Yoongi, and I’m not the greatest person in the world either.”

“Whatever makes you sleep at night,” he rolls his eyes even if he knows a fool would see that you aren’t anything short of great. “I’m sorry for making you wait,” he apologizes, eyes flickering to yours. “But you don’t have to wait around for me anymore, okay?”

It’s a great mound of consolation that he’d be willing to trek over and over again if it means making up for everything he’s done.

“I can’t love you the way that you love me because nobody can compare to you,” he whispers, crossing his heart in promise. “But believe me, please, I’ll make up for all of the lost time and I’ll love you the best that I could.”

It’s a progress, a working one at that, wherein you’d meet Yoongi in the middle of.

“I can’t confess my love for you every two weeks-…”

“Oh shut up,” you roll your eyes, playfully attempting to break off his hug to which he doesn’t let you.

“Because that’s too spread out. I’ll do it everyday,” Yoongi finishes, the grin on his face pleasantly annoying.

“You’re the worst,” you weakly offer, letting yourself into the moment of vulnerability by abandoning your defenses.

“You’re sounding like me,” he laughs, pressing just one more kiss to your forehead.

You’re the universe’s reward to Yoongi for everything he’s ever done, the resounding desire in his whole being to just be the best he could ever be for you reverberating throughout his home and yours.

“You don’t have to ask me to love you anymore,” he says gently, eyes holding up the entirety of a truth he can’t deny. “I’d give you the sun even if you didn’t ask me to.”

#soooo... how r we doing :D #yoongi imagine #yoongi oneshot #yoongi oneshots #yoongi angst #yoongi angst imagine #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #yoongi au #yoongi scenario #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x you #bts yoongi imagine

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firelxdykatara · 2 months

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I too ship Zutara and think they should have been canon. Although for me it's important to know how such a rewrite would go down. I tried to think, and I'm lost.

After Mai betrayed Azula for him, will he just go "sorry, not interested"? He isn't obligated to date her because of this, but her redemption hinges on Zuko and I don't see it being satisfying if he ends up rejecting her after this.

I thought the solution would be to rewrite her arc in boiling rock to make her have a moral realization, but then the problem with Maiko is practically solved. Their relationship wasn't salvaged by her redemption because last time they talked, Mai still didn't understand what's wrong with the Fire Nation and only changed because she loved Zuko. So how do you make it both satisfying & logical?

With Kataang the problem is the Chakras. The problem with the original (in my opinion) is that after he opened his chakra, letting go of his attachment to Katara, he's still attached (forcing a kiss on eip). Should TCoD get rewritten so that Azula shoots him before he opens it? Then why wouldn't he just open it later? Maybe the chakra would be locked so he feels as though he doesn't need to overcome his attachment just yet. In that situation, how would his chakra even unlock? The stone thing felt like nonsense, so how would I do it?

So yeah I have no idea how to approach this. How would you? (Thanks)

I've been rotating this ask in the back of my head like a rotisserie chicken for a few days--it's interesting because I don't generally stop to think like, how would I write them out of these relationships, I either ignore the relationships completely (which isn't hard, they were barely footnotes in the cartoon) or play a little bit with jealous exes or something. Thinking about like, In A Perfect World where Bryke wasn't in charge of ATLA post-canon (because if zutara had been canon, you can be sure they would've made us regret it) is interesting, and I do have thoughts on how I'd handle their relationships in a rewrite.

(this got long, so the rest is beneath the cut)

Assuming you mostly want to keep canon intact, I think maiko would be the easiest to work around, given how little relevance their relationship has in canon. The problem with maiko as an endgame ship is that it was not set up that way--if it had been, it would not have begun entirely off-screen and their whole relationship would not have been a study in misery and utter inability to connect emotionally. His relationship with Mai was there to showcase just how much he had changed and how little he fit into the life he had been so sure he wanted more than anything since his banishment. It worked very well to highlight Zuko's growth--how that contrasted to Mai's lack of it and why she could not understand him even at his most open and vulnerable--and did not work nearly so well when she was shoved back with him in the epilogue, after he'd quite literally forgotten her existence (he never mentions her again after Boiling Rock, not even to say a word of mourning, considering he'd have every reason to believe she was killed for defying his sister).

I don't think you can fix this by giving Mai some moral realization, because there simply is no room for it. As @araeph says in the essay I linked:

As a character, Mai is very useful to the story during Zuko’s return, because she represents everything that Zuko gains by sticking by his father. A girl who cares about him; the ability to indulge her; the authority he has over others at the palace; we see it all in his interactions with Mai. But this makes Mai a tether to a life he has long outgrown. Her function is not to advance Zuko’s character development, but to obstruct it, which also unfortunately means that Mai gaining a full understanding of Zuko’s trials would be disadvantageous to the story. If she knew everything about him and still wanted him to stay, it would give Zuko more cause than he should have to remain in the Fire Nation, but if she knew and encouraged him to leave and join the Avatar, it would rob Zuko of the triumph of making this decision on his own. In other words, there are good narrative reasons for keeping Mai in the dark; it just doesn’t make their relationship any stronger.

The seeds of a genuine redemption arc (one that includes some sort of moral realization and change to her moral framework) for Mai would have to have been planted far earlier than five episodes from the end of the series, but doing so would have of necessity detracted from Zuko's own character arc and the realizations that he makes despite his attachment to Mai (or more specifically to their relationship, which I feel like he was clinging to more out of a sense of abject loneliness he couldn't shake rather than genuine feelings and emotional connection).

So, in my mind, since we're tackling this with an eye towards getting rid of maiko with the fewest ripples to the overall story anyway, the easiest way to do this would be make one slight change to the end of the Boiling Rock two-parter--have Ty Lee (who had always been the least gung-ho of the trio about bowing to Azula's whims and had to be textually threatened into joining her in the first place) save Zuko's life, and then have Mai (who showed the most genuine affection for Ty Lee anyway) save Ty Lee. I love Zuko more than I fear you always fell flat for me as some epic declaration of love, anyway, since a) Zuko is not around to hear it, and b) unlike Ty Lee, she never showed much fear of Azula to begin with, so it wasn't a very high bar to clear. It was a cool line that was entirely unearned, and I don't think it would be missed, there would be some cute mailee crumbs this way, and a throwaway line of getting them released from the prison after the war ended could wrap up their presence in the story pretty nicely.

Now, kataang is a little trickier, if only because the last leg of Aang's character arc is almost completely derailed by his refusal to let go of his possessive attachment to Katara, to the point where he never naturally reopens his chakras, he has to have the Rock of Destiny hit him in just the right place, and the deus ex lionturtle there to give him a way out of having to make a hard moral choice. (I've maintained for years that if you work the final act of your main character's overall arc in such a way that it could have been solved by one good session with a chiropractor, something got fucked along the way.)

The thing about Aang's chakras is that, narratively, his whole thing with Guru Pathik and leaving his training early to save his friends was basically his version of Luke running away from his training with Yoda on Degobah because of his Force vision, only to find out that his friends were in the process of rescuing themselves and then losing his hand because he hadn't completed the most crucial part of his training. What's missing, therefore, from the last act of Aang's character arc, is the return.

See, in Star Wars, Luke pretty explicitly makes the wrong choice when he chooses to prioritize saving his friends over attaining enlightenment and fully mastering the Force. It was the only choice he could have made, but it was still the wrong one--because, like Aang, his friends did not actually need him to save them, he actually almost makes it harder for them to get away by requiring them to save him because, like Aang, he loses a battle in a very critical way. This was a lesson he desperately needed to learn, and it is clear he has learned it by the time he makes it back to Degobah and witnesses the end of Yoda's life, his own enlightenment having already been reached.

But Aang never goes back to the Guru.

And the text refuses to allow us to sit with the fact that he made the wrong choice in prioritizing his attachment to Katara over his ability to master the Avatar State. He is actually narratively vindicated about it, because the plot bends itself into a pretzel so that he doesn't have to spend any time during the last book trying to reopen his chakras and regain access to the Avatar State, handed both in the final battle with no excess effort on his part, and handed the girl into the bargain. (The girl who never even wanted him, so far as we can tell from all the lack of cues she gave him that she actually returned his feelings.)

And I think this could have been solved with a few scattered scenes. Let Katara actually have some agency in her own romantic relationship (or lack thereof), insofar as noticing Aang's advances and clueing the audience in to how she actually feels. Let Aang struggle with the fact that he can't reach the Avatar State, that his mastery of the elements is in limbo because he can't access his full power, rather than ignoring all of this until the end of the show. If we're trying to keep the shape of the last season roughly the same, let Katara confront Aang about the invasion kiss.

This would have been the perfect time to establish that Katara actually does feel some type of way about Aang prior to the epilogue, and it could have saved us from the exceedingly cringey EIP kiss that Aang never apologized for. How it comes across now, of course, is that Katara basically pretends it never even happened, to the point where she doesn't even know what Aang is talking about during EIP until he reminds her--the death knell for any shot their relationship had at looking requited, because I can tell you, as someone who's been a teenage girl, if someone I had conflicted but burgeoning romantic feelings for had kissed me, I would not have completely forgotten about it only a few weeks later--and we never get any indication as to what she actually felt about the kiss (which was not mutual, despite what Aang's dialogue in the EIP scene implies) except for the fact that she looked away and frowned afterwards. (A change mandated by Bryke, who wanted to leave her feelings completely ambiguous; the original storyboards had her smiling to herself.)

So, with an eye towards wrapping up Aang's puppy love crush and establishing Katara's distinct lack of romantic feelings for him, have her talk to him about the kiss. A good frame of reference for this would be Meng's conversation with Aang in "The Fortuneteller", where she finally realizes that he doesn't like her in the same way she likes him. Katara and Aang's conversation about the invasion kiss could be a callback to this, with Aang having some important realizations--that just because Katara doesn't share his feelings doesn't mean she loves him any less, and just because he can't have her the way he wanted doesn't mean he has to love her any less, that she doesn't belong to him but that's ok, because she's still his family and they'll always have each other's backs. Which could have functioned well in helping him take another step towards unblocking his chakras. Going back to the Guru directly may not have worked, since by this point in the story we're hurtling towards the final confrontation and Sozin's Comet, but let Aang reflect on what the Guru told him with new understanding granted him by his experiences throughout the first half of the season.

To keep the stakes high and up the suspense, obviously, he shouldn't have fully unlocked his chakras and the AS before the final fight, but the seeds could be planted--little moments like a talk with Katara about the invasion kiss, maybe a little more empathy and understanding from him about why Katara needs closure in TSR, etc--and then, during the final fight, rather than hand him all the answers on a silver platter, have him almost lose. He still can't go full Avatar, he's out of time, he still doesn't know exactly what to do about Ozai given his own pacifism and desire to preserve that part of his culture--he tries to fight but he's pretty quickly overpowered. Idk how I would've animated this, and maybe it wouldn't have looked as cool for the final fight, but the true climax of the finale was the Zuko and Azula agni kai anyway, so it hardly matters--I'm picturing him doing the rock-shield thing and going into a brief meditative state, where he finally achieves the enlightenment necessary to unlock the AS on his own, no rock of chiropracty necessary. And at this point, I'd give Ozai a Disney Death, since leaving him alive causes more problems than it solves and it's not necessary for Aang to kill him for him to die--they're fighting on a mountain ffs--but if you don't want to change that part then him figuring out energy bending as part of becoming a fully realized Avatar would at least feel more earned than the lionturtle just handing it to him. (And that could've been foreshadowed better by seeding the idea for it earlier in the season.)

After all of that, particularly if you up the emotions during the agni kai and have Zuko and Katara kiss there (or something less explicitly romantic but still tender, like a brief forehead touch), it'd feel pretty natural to have a just friends ending for Aang and Katara. Maybe a brief, slightly awkward but ultimately amiable conversation if Zuko and Katara had a ~thing at their final fight, and then the final shot of the series could be the gaang all together, maybe zutara holding hands or Katara resting her head on his shoulder or something, but since they already kissed there wouldn't feel like a need to end the whole show on romance, something which I've always felt missed the point of the series.

And then, y'know, after that, the world's your oyster! This is how I'd do it if I were trying to keep the bulk of the final season intact. Of course, breaking it all down to its component pieces and rebuilding from the ground up is also an option, but that'd probably be a longer post lol.

#zutara #atla #m.aiko salt #k.ataang salt #atla canon rewrite #hey albert kim if you're taking notes on how to do season 3 of the LA................#Anonymous #asked

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dandylovesturtles · 2 months

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Whats Draxum’s redemption arc in sideline look like (if he even gets one lmaooo)

thanks for the ask! this got long so I'm putting a lot of it under a cut

at this point, I have committed to Draxum's redemption arc in Sidelined, because I like Draxum and I love a good redemption arc haha. That said, as I've said a few times before, it wouldn't be easy for him, and it definitely wouldn't go down like in the show, where Mikey just kind of drags him into it. he'd have to work for it himself

it's probably good to start this by talking about my own interpretation of Draxum and the Draxum characterization I'm working with in this AU. while I love a good Evil Bastard Draxum, in canon I read him as more of one of those people who truly believed he was the hero so hard he tipped over into villainy on accident. which doesn't mean he didn't enjoy what he was doing, and he's definitely uncaring of the lives around him (he's got some of that mad scientist spark), but in contrast to the Foot Clan who are actively trying to subjugate the whole world (presumably under the belief that they'll get to be the top brass in the new world order), Draxum is actually just trying to save his people. a noble end, even if the means he's choosing involves eradicating another race of beings entirely. and I'm generally of the belief that if Draxum had actually kept the turtles, if he had been in charge of their raising, he might have initially started out thinking of them purely as warriors to be molded for his aims, but eventually would have come to see them as their own people, as children (yes, it's entirely possible to raise children and still have disregard for them as people, but I'm giving Draxum the benefit of the doubt in this one).

however, Draxum didn't raise them from babies - they just showed up at his house one day, raising weapons against him and blowing up his lab. so he's still thinking of them purely as warriors - young and inexperienced warriors, sure, but warriors nonetheless. he's not really thinking about how they're only teenagers, about how they might have dreams and wants and needs that have nothing to do with fighting, how they actually love and care for each other as a family. I said this in another ask, but Draxum thinks the idea of them calling each other "brothers" and Lou Jitsu "father" is actually laughable. in his mind, it's just pointless to even read any kind of family structure into their relationship. they are at most superiors and subordinates.

when Draxum put Leo in the Dark Armor, Splinter saw it as his fourteen-year-old son, his Baby Blue, being tortured and possibly killed right before his eyes. Draxum saw it as sacrificing a pawn in front of a general.

of course, callous disregard for a living person is bad no matter how you see it, but there's still a definite difference in perception here.

it's not until 1, Draxum realizes he was horribly wrong about what the Armor is and what the consequences of awakening it are, and 2, he witnesses the way the family reacts to what is happening to Leo, not as group of warriors down a man but as a family desperately trying to save a loved one, a piece of themselves, that it finally clicks for him what he's done.

Draxum goes on a long soul-searching retreat after that (he's also hiding from the Hidden City government but that's a side note). how could the love he had for his people drive him down such a dark and reckless path? how could he not see what was right in front of him, until he caused serious damage to the place he was trying so hard to save? how could he be so callous to someone who, annoying as he may be, is ultimately innocent?

initially he does this soul-searching far away from the Hamatos. he still has his powers in this timeline, so he makes do with stealing and finding places to take over and live. but at some point he starts thinking, maybe he wants to try and make amends for what he did, even if it's in just a small way. and even with his humbling he's still a little full of himself, so he's like, of course this ragtag bunch would want the help of Baron Draxum

(they do not)

so he starts by trying to give them practical help. he can imagine that Leonardo has significant medical issues following his time in the armor, and while it's not his primary field he knows enough about healing draughts to get by, and while there's no magic potion that will "fix" Leo, there are ones that can help with the pain and fatigue, in some ways better than human medicines, and that can help strengthen his immune system. He tries to give these to the Hamatos (specifically Mikey and Donnie while they're out scavenging one day) and gets pretty soundly rebuffed. Donnie is in "kill on sight" mode, and while Mikey is more likely to at least hear Draxum out, he also has no reason to trust anything the man gives them, especially when he suggests they feed it to Leo. so they don't take the offerings initially. Draxum eventually settles for leaving them in a cache near one of the sewer tunnel entrances, if they want it.

and then Leo gets really sick, and is in a lot of pain. Leo's immune system, like everything else about his body, is pretty weak following the armor, and he can't fight off the flu or an infection as well as he could before. so Leo is sick and in pain and Donnie and Mikey remember the cache of healing potions.

(I actually considered writing this fic awhile back and then never did haha, but here's what I had in my notes for it:

Splinter kneels on the side of the bed. "I'm sorry, Blue. We'll get you more medicine soon."

Leo reaches one hand out and Splinter takes it quickly. "Daddy," he whines, tears starting to roll down his cheeks, and oh, Donnie realizes, Leo really is hurting.

He quietly and casually deletes the last ten minutes of audio in his recordings. No one else needs to hear this.)

again, they aren't stupid - they aren't just going to feed Leo some random potions given to them by the guy that hurt him in the first place. but they can go find out if the potions are legit. so time for a trip to Witch Town!

they probably have some kind of misadventure while they're there (I'm imagining Mikey is joining Donnie and April this time), but they do manage to ascertain that the potions are legit. still, they end up getting the same potions made by someone else instead, just in case. but they remember that Draxum did try to help them, that time.

I imagine this happens several times, where Draxum just shows up to help them, they tell him to get lost after, before it starts to sink in that maybe Draxum is actually trying to turn things around. I don't think it ever quite gets to "Mikey calling him their second dad" level, but they do start to accept him as a begrudging ally and eventual weird uncle.

he has to seriously and sincerely apologize to Leo first, though. and Leo doesn't want to forgive him at first, and that's okay. these things take time.

anyway that's all. thanks for the ask again!

#sidelined au #I feel like I make Leo's relationship with Draxum wildly different in all my AUs lol #because his eventually relationship with him in 100ft is shaping up to be so much more positive

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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 5 months

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Catradora fan here but I wanted to ask if you think it would've ever been possible for catradora to be done well by the show? It's obviously not a perfect ship but I wanted to know if you thought it had any potential at any point as a viable ship or not? /genq

first off, props to you for being respectful and open to different opinions! it's the bare minimum but not a lot of c//a shippers do that, so i really appreciate it.

secondly, yes. i think the ship did have some potential and there were definitely ways to make it less toxic (and not incestuous) so let me just go through a few things i would change if i were to rewrite this ship:

1. catra and adora would not be raised by the same parent or portrayed with a sibling dynamic. instead they're just close friends, and shadow weaver would be either catra's or adora's adoptive parent. i personally think it would be interesting if shadow weaver was catra's adoptive mother, and hordak was adora's father figure.

going on a tangent here, there's a bunch of reasons why this would be a good choice. one, apparently in the 80s she-ra, hordak was like a father figure to adora, since he's the one who found her and brought her to the horde. the latter is also the case in the reboot so they really could have given us an interesting father-daughter dynamic with these characters.

two, it would create an actual connection between hordak and adora. in the show, we barely see them interact at all, despite them being enemies. it was always adora vs catra, and not adora vs the horde (and hordak). hordak doesn't even have to be abusive or toxic towards adora, in fact, it would help a lot with his redemption if he was actually a decent parent. teaching adora wrong morals, of course, but ultimately caring about her. it would also increase the emotional impact when adora leaves the horde, because she would be cutting ties with a person who genuinely loved her, despite being an evil warlord.

2. catra would show some restraint when fighting adora. the thing that most stuck out to me in spop was how remorseless catra was when fighting adora. it's not even that she's fighting to win or because she had to, she just liked seeing adora in pain. there's no coming back from that.

so i would write catra to be a little more compassionate and not hurt adora more than necessary. i would also add in parts where she's shown to care about adora, despite being on opposite sides. catra wouldn't brainwash adora and revel in seeing her go beserk, or try to gaslight her into staying, and for most part, she would try to avoid a fight with adora.

this would help the story stay true to the “i always loved you” dialogue, because it shows that catra cares about adora deeply, instead of telling us. what spop did was show us catra hurting adora over and over again with zero guilt or remorse, and then have other characters talk about how much catra loves adora or how perfect their chemistry is. not convincing in the slightest.

3. catra's redemption is more detailed and starts earlier, preferably in s4, after the portal incident and angella's death. this goes without saying because her redemption was the worst part of c//a. instead of having her do one good thing and slapping the good guy label onto her, i would show her actually facing consequences of her actions and trying to do better.

the characters wouldn't just gloss over catra's actions but would instead hold her accountable. and she would actually work on her toxicity instead of just saying “sorry i got angry, i'm working on it” and then proceeding to not work on it. i would only get them together after catra is at least 90% redeemed and in a healthier mindset to be in a relationship.

4. adora's arc would get more focus and a satisfying conclusion. in s5, adora's search for her origin and identity is abandoned in favor of c//a. this is so disappointing and just shows that the writers could not give two fucks about adora, the main character. so yeah, while c//a would still get its moments, i would not sacrifice adora's development or arc for it.

5. c//a would not be the “heart and soul” of the show. one of the many things i hated about s5 was how everything revolved around c//a.

glimmer and bow were reduced to the wingmen and paired spares, none of the other characters mattered, angella was completely forgotten, hordak didn't get enough screentime, and horde prime was a weak and badly written villain. all of this was because the creators focused too much on c//a (and even then, failed to make it romantic or appealing). so yeah, while i would still write c//a as a canon ship, i wouldn't sacrifice everything else just for this ship.

thank you for your ask, this is something i've wanted to talk about for a while now!

#spop critical #spop #spop salt #spop criticism #spop discourse #she ra #anti catradora #anti catra #anti spop #anti c//a #antic//a #anticatra #anticatradora

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julietwiskey1 · 5 months

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If ATLA had a fourth season, what do you think would have been the plotline of Book 4 and what would likely have been the good and bad parts of it?

If we keep the original three then I think it would have gone into Book Four: Air. Likely seeing Aang work to restore the Air Nation and searching for traces of any survivors. Perhaps he sees that culturally they are dead but their are still people who can bend air. Now Aang’s role in the previous three seasons is flipped upside down, he is no longer the student but the master.

We also probably see Zuko, Azula and the gaang search for Ursa. It would serve primarily as Azula’s redemption and growth arc. Let her heal and find love with Zuko and Ursa, maybe even forgiveness by the gaang. Zuko’s story focusing more on his growth as a leader and facing the problems that beset his people that it’s his job to fix. Not just punching the lone corrupt official but making actual changes to his government.

I think to keep it on theme we would see Sokka and Katara try to find parts of their culture stolen. Perhaps even look for water benders like Hama who still know the southern tradition. Though I see this being the most likely to be cut.

The best part of the season would be its emotional beats. Focusing on healing, coming together and love. It would nail down the hope Aang always inspires. Show him and Zuko leading everyone into that new world of peace and harmony they promise.

I think something like this would struggle to keep everyone together. All of these character naturally want to do their own thing now. So why Zuko and Azula need to search with the gaang would be in question. Why aren’t Katara and Sokka going home to heal their tribe? Shouldn’t Aang be heading off on his own now?

That’s what I think is most likely.

Though I personally think if the show knew they would have a fourth season it would have been better to split season three into two. Season one takes place up until the day of black sun. Have it take place in the colonies. Focus more on Ozai and his role leading the war and the struggles Zuko and Azula face at home. Show him as a villain by showing how two of our previous villains who love him still fear him. The gaang runs into a lot more stories like the headband and Hama. Show the oppression of the colonies and how the Fire Nation exploits the land.

Then with the season four show Zuko earning his way with the gaang as they hide in the Fire Nation Islands (not colonies but Fire Nation proper). Show him slowly earning their trust. But most importantly let him interact with the Fire Nation and learning what has to change about his nation. But I think he needs to also serve as a supporting character in several episodes. Where he’s not the focus, but rather holds up or steps out of the spot light for Katara, Sokka, Toph and Aang to shine.

Aang could also be discovering energy bending or another Ozai solution. Make the reveal of energy bending at the end feel like an earned discovery and not a deus ex machina.

During this fourth season Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee take the secondary story plots. Show the fracture of the friend group. How Azula is struggling under Ozai expectations and how it forces her to act contrary to a teenager with her friends. Give her breakdown time to fester and grow. But also show a girl who is deserving of redemption. Who quite simply currently does not feel or does not see any way out or can fully see what is wrong. Her side story can pair with Zuko’s. When Zuko finds a problem and fixes it give it to Azula and show how constrained she is.

And most importantly show Ozai being the villain beyond Azula and Zuko. Let him personally hurt and burn people. Maybe even give an episode where the gaang nearly runs into him and show how he can take them. Make him a terrifying enemy before the final fight.

#Wiskey answers #anon #atla #avatar the last airbender #hypothetical season four #zuko #Azula #Aang #Sokka #Katara #never really mentioned toph did I #probably can have a few episodes showing her maturing #maybe develop her anti war ideology

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jellybeanium124 · 6 days

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maybe it's time for me to make a post about izzy's redemption arc as a jar guy who's been a fan of the bastard since season 1.

prior to season 2 airing, I was redemption arc neutral. I thought that a redemption arc could be good, but a "get even worse" arc could also be good. my ideal izzy ending was him leaving ed to go be a pirate on his own after realizing that they couldn't fit together in any healthy way. I wrote a fic about this.

anyways, they completely fucked the redemption arc up. I don't have too much of a problem with 2x01-2x04, despite the major issue of izzy suddenly understanding his feelings for ed and being able to physically say out loud to ed "I have... love, for you." I mean, it's a fantastic line and con delivers it perfectly, I just wish it hadn't happened in the first 15 minutes of the season. like imagine placing this line somewhere else? what if it was in 2x02 instead, aka The Edizzy Episode Ever aka The Episode That Made Me Interested In The Edizzy Dynamic. like ok ok ok ok. ed gives izzy the gun. he goes and stands like jesus in the light on the cross. izzy shakily holds up the gun, but then he laughs. he laughs and then cuts himself off and then he chokes down a swallow and says "I have... love, for you, Edward." imagine being ed in that moment. isn't that super fucked up? isn't it glorious? imagine hearing that when all you want to do is die?? like WAUGHHHH right?

anyways, moving on.

I do like 2x05. I think it's a just a really fun chill episode and my exact flavor of TV that I like. I call it "11 short films about the Revenge" because it's structured in a series of loose snippets and scenes. I do enjoy the izzy & stede stuff in this episode (izzy slaps stede's ass lmao how could I not enjoy it?) but it's really the episode where issues with how izzy is redeemed start to come to light.

why is he so good at not being an asshole? izzy, for the most part, doesn't fall back into old habits. he'll make the occasional uncomfortable comment, or walks up to wee john looking like he's gonna say something homophobic, but he doesn't. sure, he can't move as fast or as well as he used to, but he used to have no issues pushing the crew, and he never trips up. he's just so goddamn open too! I get that accepting the leg is like, a metaphor for accepting the crew, but it'd be cool if izzy had trouble actually doing that. in s1 izzy is so socially awkward, and he clearly is not a people person. Why didn't he struggle with being accepted, an entirely new feeling? Why didn't he try to remain a loner, just a little bit? HOW ON EARTH DID HE GET TO THE POINT WHERE HE COULD DO DRAG IN PUBLIC??

my favorite flavor of steddyhands in fic, and I promise this is related and I wouldn't say that if it wasn't relevant, is the kind where stede and ed conspire to flirt with izzy and izzy is a complete dumbass who doesn't know what's going on. izzy in these fics is trying to be better, but he doesn't know how. he constantly struggles to voice his feelings, he struggles to change his old toxic thought patterns, he struggles with openness and vulnerability. how come izzy didn't struggle with that in the show? he spent 50-something years being closed off to the world, and now he can open himself up with no issues?

that's how you "redeem" izzy and keep him fundamentally izzy. he's trying to be less of an asshole, but he's not really great at it. he wants to learn how to open himself up, but he's never done it before. he's still a loner at heart. he's still socially awkward. he still has toxic assumptions to work through. my izzy, my ruthless bastard rat man, was replaced in the show with a clone and then that clone was killed.

I understand that doing this right would require more time. I wish they got that time. and I wish they did something different with the time they had.

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands

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twig-tea · 1 month

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Final Thoughts on To Be Continued

Ok, I know I was loudly still mad at this show last week in @respectthepetty's notes, who was very kind (and even encouraging) about it. @happypotato48 talked me down a bit by suggesting there was more in the novel that might still come, and he was right! This week we got an explanation that helped me find the through-thread that was missing between the flashbacks and the start of the show, so I can let that go. I was pretty satisfied with that part of this week's finale overall, and was really glad that they added that connecting piece for me.

Short non-spoilery version of where I landed: I was skeptical it was going to land the core storyline, but for me it did. I liked it in the end, but there are a number of hurdles to enjoying this show so I wouldn't recommend this without caveats (mostly related to pacing).

With all of that being said, it's one of the better pulps this year so far, and worth a watch if you love mutual pining, don't mind slow episodes, and enjoy when a show lets its characters make mistakes. I'm glad I watched it.

For anyone curious about this show, here's where this show worked for me, and where it didn't. Spoilers under the cut!

What I Liked

I really enjoyed Ji getting to be petty to Achi at the beginning of the series, and the way the show made clear that Ji knew exactly how conflicted he was about Achi showing up in his life again.

I love yearning, and the yearning in this series was top-notch. The way Ji could not help himself when it came to accepting Achi's overtures, and the way Achi used his overtures to say over and over again "I know you; I know us; I am willing to put in effort to prove I mean it" was delicious.

I did like the flashbacks and how they were doled out through the series to add context and explain what was happening. The timing of the flashbacks in the story was well done and gave us the info we needed when we needed it.

I liked how clear consent was in this show, and how consent alone did not result in a perfect scenario, especially as kids. I did appreciate how the main conflict from the past was essentially teenage boys did not know how to communicate and blew everything out of proportion/did not understand how to think about things from the others' perspective.

And from this last episode, I liked how the show let us see that years of reflection helped Achi realize what things must have felt like from Ji's perspective, and once he had confirmation that Ji was devastated when he left, it makes sense that he would be able to meet up with Ji again with both confidence and contrition in order to get the reconciliation he wants. I also really liked the contrast in the sex scenes between their first time when they didn't kiss for most of the scene and their first time as boyfriends where they can't seem to stop kissing.

Finally, I love competence, and I really enjoyed getting to see Ji be a competent surgeon and Achi be good at his job managing fan expectations of his personal life. Achi handled the relationship reveal with confidence knowing he'd be able to manage the fallout, and his manager was supportive once he was sure Achi actually had a plan.

What I Didn't Like

I seriously considered dropping this show after episode 4 because for the first little while, every other episode really dragged. It wasn't the order in which the story was doled out that was the issue, but there was so much unnecessary footage and scenes lingered too long within each episode. In short, there were moments when this show draaaaaaagged. So in terms of who it works/doesn't work for, having patience for really slow pacing within an episode is critical. It does pick up a bit after ep4, but never fully gets over this problem.

Egregiously in a show where some episodes felt too long, the show also didn't use the time it had to fully close off all the threads it started and some of the plots felt rushed. There was a redemption arc for Ji's father that felt incomplete/sudden to me (not to say people can't snap out of a 10-year depression but I wasn't really given any chance to feel much about this because we didn't really sit with him or his kids after it happened); the side characters' romance felt like it barely got off the ground (they honestly had the time, they just didn't use it), and Poppy's romance and career trajectory also barely got any time (this one is more forgivable as a third and het couple).

Beyond the multiple pacing issues, the acting was also shaky, and while the sex scenes are well staged and cut to hide this, they were a little awkward together during some of the moments of physical intimacy.

For my taste, I would have wanted to see more of the characters working on things and changing their behaviour; a lot of the push-pull in the middle of the series felt circular rather than progressive. Some of it was necessary: Achi did demonstrate he will stick around no matter how hard Ji makes it this time, and Ji did show that he can open up and be vulnerable with Achi eventually, and trust him when there are external threats. But I would have liked to have seen more of the parts that led to the change in them happen. They also spend a lot of time falling into old habits when they started hanging out together again, which was charming and realistic, but I would have loved to see more incorporation of their new lives. Achi basically takes a break from stardom to woo Ji, so we don't get a real sense of what their relationship will be like except in the finale which is quite brief.

I already gave my high-level summary above the fold: TL; DR I'm glad I watched but not everyone will enjoy this one.

#to be continued the series #bl meta #typed so that i can stop thinking it

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kanerallels · 11 months

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Okay here are my many, many thoughts on Jedi Survivor. I'll keep the spoilers beneath the cut, so all who venture forward have been warned!

The way the game started out was so fun!! The stealth heist! The crew members Cal was teaming up with! Being on CORUSCANT of all places!

I really, really love the gameplay over all. It felt like they took the last game and just improved these tiny little details that I remember from the first one. Tiny things that would seem stupid but also made the game play that much smoother!

KOBOH MY BELOVED IT'S SO MASSIVE SO BEAUTIFUL SO GORGEOUS I LOVE IT THERE VERY VERY MUCH

Also I don't know who decided we should get Fast Travel but I would die for them

I'll probably make a separate post about this, but Cal introduced BD-1 to almost everyone he met-- ALMOST. Not Dagan, and not a couple other people that it was clear he didn't trust. And I for one LOVE that detail

Jedha was so fun other than the fact that I almost died every fifteen seconds

CERE!!!!!!!!! AND MASTER CORDOVA!!!!! WORKING TOGETHER!!!!! WITH THE HIDDEN PATH!!!!!

The Merrical was *chef's kiss* absolutely amazing. They are so April and Andy from Parks and Rec I love them

As a fan of the High Republic books, I thought the Nihil references, along with Dagan Gera and Santari Khri, were pretty neat! He was a fun villain to fight

I really really loved... pretty much all the Greez content? How happy he was to see Cal, and the fact that he had a room set aside for him, and the fact that he ventured back out into the fight just to keep Cal safe. I was mostly neutral on him during JFO, but Battle Scars made me really, really love him, and this game definitely built on that! Also I love that he named his saloon after his grandma (I think?)

Rayvis was an interesting villain! I liked him a lot, especially the final battle with him. They did a good job developing his character

Speaking of villains... I do be feeling some emotions about Cal's fight with Masana Tide. I'm a redemption arc girlie at heart, what can I say? But I see why they did what they did

RICK THE DOOR TECHNICIAN MY BELOVED

THE PONCHO!!!!!!!! THERE WAS A PONCHO!!!!!! I GOT TO WEAR MY BOSS BATTLE OUTFIT TO THE FINAL FIGHT!!!!! IT WAS AMAZING

That one scene where the whole crew was at the campfire together and for like five minutes it felt like everything was going to be okay warmed my heart so much

Yeah I don't remember what happened after that (obvious lie)

I like the new open world features, and the bounties you get to hunt, and the customization and stuff! And those Force tear things are terrifying, but I've completed two of them, and plan to do more as time goes on!

Kriff. Okay I gotta talk about the Horrors at some point. Thanks to my lack of self control, I'd seen some spoilers and knew that Bode was gonna betray us. I didn't know about Cordova (sad) and I didn't know about Bode's secret (SO MUCH SHOCK THAT WAS AN AMAZING PLOT TWIST)

I will say, Cere's final battle against Vader was SO FREAKING COOL IT WAS AWESOME PLAYING AS HER

I also love the fact she set Vader on fire. It's ironic

AULSDKFJLSDKJFLSDKJFLSDKJF AND HER LAST WORDS REALLY JUST SHOT ME IN THE CHEST I'M FINE OKAY I'M FINE (more lies)

Uhhh the Tanalorr plot line was pretty cool! I like the idea of there being somewhere safe from the Empire, to prevent Cal from being killed for plot convinience

Bode's betrayal... yeah I'm not gonna talk about that. I'm not ready, and honestly I have an objectively awful take on the whole situation that no one will like

OKAY THE SCENE WHERE BD-1 REUNITED WITH CAL AFTER HE CHASED AFTER BODE AND JUST LAUNCHED HIMSELF INTO CAL'S ARMS I DON'T THINK ENOUGH OF YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I WOULD DIE FOR THIS DROID

The part where BD-1 was going to scan the trontoshell, and Cal called him BD and THEN BD-1 like he was his mom, full naming him into safety. I love it so much

OH ALSO BD AND KATA'S DYNAMIC IS SO HECKING CUTE

(can you tell I love BD-1?)

I also really, really loved Merrin's entrance. Ten out of ten, the only thing I would change is that Cal should have immediately proposed

Oh! And Merrin and Kata's relationship is so fun I really really like it

Ummm yeah I think I've addressed everything there is to talk about (the most obvious lie yet) so yeah! The brainrot is still strong with me so I might end up posting some screenshots and more thoughts later on!

#jedi survivor #jedi survivor spoilers #cal kestis #nightsister merrin #greez dritus #bode akuna #cere junda #eno cordova #kata akuna #dagan gera #rick the door technician #(easily the best character in the game)#merrical #santari khri #(everyone thought she and dagan were a thing right? or was it just me?)

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bonebabbles · 3 months

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Last Book And He Still Sucks

But because this is supposed to be the climax of his "redemption arc," the writers have constructed the most evil villain possible so that Clear Sky can have someone to oppose. Star Flower has been kidnapped, and he's going around begging all the other cats for help.

For FIVE books, the others have practically dropped everything whenever he needed help. First 3 were them desperately trying to appease him before he started a war that killed dozens. Book 4 was them killing a guy to fix his mistake and re-install him as the forest dictator. Book 5 has them gently declining his demand that they all accept him as their leader while he keeps bullying everyone, but still send his victim to go fetch him when his mom's dying.

But, they bring the ghost of Storm out of the heavens to say "Clear Sky Did Nothing Wrong. They weren't driven away because you're a fucking monster, they just had their own paths to walk. Don't feel so bad boo." So it's gotta be super tense and dramatic that no one wants to help the evil fucking bastard who has done nothing but hurt people.

It's so sad that no one trusts him after 5 books of tormenting every woman and child in his line of sight.

He's not even done begging before he's yelling at MORE kids. I feel bad for Star Flower at the moment because she doesn't deserve any of this shit, but quite frankly, I wish Thunder COULD just completely deny helping him.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand he tries with the manipulation tactics again, makes Thunder feel like shit, but this time it doesn't work. Thunder is being so incredibly mature right now-- it would have been a PERFECT moment for him to hear "what kind of son are you?" and clap back with "The kind that a father like you deserves."

Thunder, because he is an abuse victim, walks away trembling and feeling guilty. He's tearing himself up over if he's done the right thing or not. This shit is painful, but not for the reason the writers think it is.

They seem to be getting ready to make this moment into how Thunder's supposed to be "getting over" his very reasonable and well-earned distrust of his cruel father to rescue his dad's wife, because Star Flower softened him. She changed him. We're supposed to be feeling terrible that Thunder's not coming to help out in Clear Sky's time of need, which he will do later when he "comes to his senses" anyway.

But when I read this, I'm filled with a sense of dread. It's like Thunder sees Star Flower as a morality chain, keeping Clear Sky in line. Which is deeply unsettling to me, with the textually stated reasons WHY Clear Sky likes this woman in mind.

And like... none of this was necessary. We didn't NEED to have Slash doing all this, if the writers hadn't committed to this insane "redemption" arc. CLEAR SKY could be demanding a tax of prey, for Thunder living on his land. It's not out of character for him to demand taxes from ALL of the Clans, either.

The face-pinning-pregnant-licking scene could have been cut. We wouldn't need Slash at all. We could bring ALL of the character arcs together, and finally show Gray Wing, Thunder, and the other cats rejecting Clear Sky and his vicious ways once and for all. It would be good.

It would SHOW why the Dawn of the Clans resulted in borders and inter-Clan aggression-- because of him.

But. No. Dirty evil foreigner who kidnapped his wife so Clear Sky has a reason to be begging for help for the 3rd time, crying when he gets it after a few chapters instead of immediately.

#dotc hate #bones reads dotc

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inastarlesssky · 2 months

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In Defense of Dramione - an essay

Okay, time for another Ted talk/ soapbox/ pointless rambling...Putting it under the cut because I have opinions.

In Defense of Dramione - an essay

First of all, I want to say I ship Dramione. Which is a recent thing, specifically about half a year ago. I didn't always because well it never occurred to me that you could. Of course, that's how ships are. We ship some ships bc they're canon, okay, fine. But we ship a whole lot others that aren't because you name whatever reason (they've got chemistry, they WORK, they're better than the canonically approved pairings whatever the hell else, idk). My point is, it had never crossed my mind that I myself would actually like the idea of Draco and Hermione. Bc naturally, you look at them and you think, "He did insult her when they were children. He was an asshat, etc etc." But...BUT.

You know that trope Enemies to Lovers? Ever heard of redemption arcs? Yeah, those are things. Of course, I don't speak on behalf of everyone in the fandom because we all have our reasons for why. But I ship them because there is potential in Draco's character for growth, for repentance, for redemption. I believe that he's capable, when he's an adult of realizing that he fucked up and that the beliefs he was spoonfed as a child are not the law of the land. I've read more fics than I can count that describe this character arc for him and they do it masterfully. Honestly, I think he's a pretty complex character and I believe that we see a sliver of that in the last few movies. Like look, in 6th year, Harry hit him with Sectumsempra and nearly killed him. But when the Golden Trio were at the Manor and it was on Draco's shoulders to identify Harry and basically seal their doom, did he do it? Did he rat them out? Nope.

Maybe this wasn't exactly Draco "forgiving" Harry, admittedly. But Draco saw that Harry was their only hope for destroying Voldemort or for having some sliver of a winning chance, of a possibility of surviving the mess Voldemort was orchestrating. He obviously deemed it important enough to dare to lie, especially knowing that Bellatrix would have summoned the Dark Lord himself in the next few moments. If Draco really didn't care about the outcome of everything, he wouldn't have done that. If anything, we see that he cares at least about the safety of his family because that could have also been the motive. But that gets me thinking, couldn't he also have confirmed Harry's identity? Voldy would have arrived, perhaps praised Draco and spared the Malfoys to die another die. So really, Draco might have gotten more out of it if he HAD confirmed Harry's identity. Hmm food for thought.

Second point, I'm not going to judge anyone in the fandom because of reasons stated above, but I will go so far as to say, please, if you don't ship Dramione, that's okay. Everyone has their own cup of tea, but please, do NOT claim that all of us (that every single one of us who happen to support this ship) are and I quote "are just a bunch of horny teenagers desperate for some pretty boy and pretty girl sex". That isn't fair and it frankly isn't true, so please don't. I know many wonderful people who have crafted amazing stories and shown great talent through their writing to express the complexities I've just spoken about.

I'll end by saying that we all have our ships, and that's okay. There's no real right or wrong inasfaras who you ship with whom. But it's a basic gesture of respect, I think, to let others love the pairings that they love. Spreading hatred, ill-will or just unkindness toward those of us who enjoy a particular ship, that's not cool and that's what brings us down in what should be something we all enjoy and go to find joy and share that joy with others.

Okay, it seems I really defended Draco more than Hermione here but I will die on this hill and defend my dorks. Fight me on it (joking here but really though. XD) Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

#my ramblings #dramione #draco malfoy #hermione granger #in defense of dramione #because i'm sick of seeing people throwing unnecessary shade on this beautiful fandom #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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theriverwild · 4 months

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One Year

I published what is now the first chapter of Autocorrelation a year ago. Twelve months later and I've got nearly 675k posted on AO3, another 100+k in my WIPS folder, and three different fic universes.

Whoa.

I'll be the first to admit, brevity, or finely crafted prose, are not my skills. Plenty of writers might post 1/10th of my WC with x10 of the quality. But I'm proud of my stories, of the plots that came to me in late nights or between meetings or the hundred of ideas I had watching and re-watching the Rings of Power.

(And I wax philosophical self-reflection on writing below the cut.)

I started off by thinking I would write my whole head canon of an in-universe world that lined up (insofar as possible with weird timelines and multiple versions of Tolkien's own histories), with TROP, LOTR, The Hobbit, The Silmarillion, and other lesser known Tolkien works in his Legendarium.

Of course the goal was to create a believable HEA for Sauron and Galadriel and I'm getting there! His redemption arc can't happen overnight, he did some real bad shit. But he's immortal, the Elves are immortal, and reckoning and reconciliation might be approached reluctantly, but also seem somewhat of an inevitability for eternal beings. They can't exactly toss everyone to the void each time one does something unspeakable. There'd be no one left in 100,000 years.

I digress. It's a saga. And while I don't like every plot decision and have put out some clunky scenes to get from A to B, on the whole, I not-so-humbly think it's alright!

Land of Enchantment and Kingdom of Rust are my foray into darkfic. But if anyone's keeping track, I do like a good fix it, even if it means confronting challenging and uncomfortable topics in the comfort and safety of fiction.

And then there's my Fluff AU which is not a WIP as I simply post sequential one-shots whenever I feel like it. Nothing but domestic fluff and smut with the teeniest bit of angst or hurt/comfort to keep it interesting.

If I don't finish one of my WIPS it means I died. I've really enjoyed writing and it's been a delightful journey to try something new (writing fiction), learn about and join fandom, share the brainrot, and interact with anyone who likes my stories even a fraction as much as I do.

Thank you to everyone who has welcomed me to this space and an extra special thank you to anyone who dared to read something I wrote, whether you liked it or not.

Cheers to another year of my new favorite pastime and a hyperfixation that's not going anywhere any time soon.

#writing #my wips #waxing philosophical #one year #three universes #and it ain't over #thanks everyone who keeps fandom positive and engaging!

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infernal-house-demon · 7 months

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I have a million thoughts about the ending of ofmd. I think overall it felt a bit rushed, through no fault of djenks or anyone else, but because they were given less episodes to work with.

All things considered with a shortened season and budget cuts I think they pulled it off pretty well.

The one thing that I just can’t get past is Izzy. Don’t read any further if you don’t want spoilers.

so, David Jenkins has said that the plan was always to kill Izzy off. And honestly, I think there was a way to do that where I still could have been satisfied with the ending even if I didn’t like seeing my fave die. But because it was a shorter season, it felt rushed. There was barely any time for mourning, to really feel the impact of his death. Even if it had been to save one of the crew that might have made it feel more congruent with his arc this season. But it was so sudden and we didn’t get time to sit with it before everyone quickly moved on to their happy endings. It just felt like such tonal whiplash.

(I also in general have a real disdain for the trope of traumatized characters only finding rest or redemption in death. But that’s more of a personal preference.)

I can totally understand why Izzy would have to die from a symbolic perspective. As he says to Ed in his final scene, they were both a part of Blackbeard. However, he also spent this season growing outside of that relationship, building a family with the crew and finding out who he wanted to be. From a queer perspective, it felt really jarring watching a character like that finally come into his own only to die shortly after (I am absolutely not saying that it was homophobic. I am just saying as a queer person it was hard to watch that journey end that way. This show is the farthest thing from homophobic.) Also the symbolism of his leg and him being part of the Revenge only to die and be left behind? Really painful to watch. (Also I have feelings about the disabled character being the one to get killed off but idk quite how to write about that right now)

My final gripe, was his death scene. Everyone acted beautifully in it, as usual. And I’m glad that he apologized to Ed for his role in feeding into Blackbeard. But I didn’t like that it was all about Edward. The line where Izzy tells him he has a family and they love him felt so out of place. Because we’ve seen very little this season of Ed interacting with the crew (after terrorizing them as Blackbeard of course), but beyond making general amends his story has been focused a lot on him and Stede this season. Izzy is the one we’ve been seeing find a family with these people.

Anyway, I think they did a decent job all things considered and it’s not their fault it felt rushed. Con O’Neill is an acting master and I loved watching him do his thing. I feel kind of bad for complaining about the ending because this show has given me so much in terms of representation and queer joy, but this one moment just doesn’t sit right with me. Overall very grateful for this show and I will miss Izzy so so so much.

#I did not mean for this to be so long #I guess I had a lot of thoughts #anyway I’m heartbroken #ofmd #our flag means death #Izzy hands #edward teach #the revenge #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers

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go-bonkers-go-foolish · 7 months

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okay for real i have thoughts on the ofmd finale, and they're mostly positive, but i've seen a LOT of takes that are just. not using critical thinking at all. so i wanna outline my stuff here. spoilers under the cut

okay. so, first things first, a round of applause and a bouquet of flowers to con o'neill. brilliant, BRILLIANT work from him in both seasons - no exaggeration, maybe one of the best performances i've ever seen. he put his heart and soul into that role, and i cannot commend him enough. i was moved to tears multiple times this season, and he did wonderfully.

second, i know it's hard to hear, but izzy was ready to die. did he HAVE to die? no, of course not. was it fair that he died? no, death is never fair. but was he, as a character and in terms of the narrative, ready to die? yes. and before we go any further, i am saying this in explicit terms: i love izzy. i've loved him since day one. i've never been one of those people who was rooting for a bad ending for him. and this ending isn't a bad one.

izzy was exhausted. he was ready to resign last season. he was put through the fucking wringer this season. in season one, he explicitly says that the only way out of piracy is death. is that necessarily true? no, but for HIM it is. izzy's whole life was the sea. his whole life was piracy. everything he knew and loved belonged to that life. a life of piracy, constantly surrounded by violence and constantly in danger, isn't a place you can really thrive, but for him to leave it all behind would be torture for him. can you honestly imagine him retiring the way ed and stede did? i can't. i really don't think he'd want to retire. he wouldn't be happy. this post sums it up the best - it just makes sense, both narratively and in terms of symbolism.

and if the only way out for him was death, well, FUCK, then it's only fitting that he got the kindest death imaginable.

imagine if he'd died the minute he was shot and the crew had to leave him behind and we never saw him again. that would have been cheap, empty, and an unfair ending. imagine if his suicide attempt earlier this season had been successful, if he had died alone in the dark from a gunshot to his head. can you IMAGINE how hollow and bitter and cruel that would have been?

but look at him. izzy crawled his way back from the brink of death, he watched the person he loved most become a monster, he did the bravest thing and saved his crew over the person he'd been loyal to for decades, he literally dragged himself to a better life than the one he had before, and then, episode six. la vie en rose.

he was beautiful. he was radiant. he was joyful and surrounded by joy. most importantly, he was loved. i've rewatched that scene half a dozen times and i am not ashamed to admit that i've cried at nearly every watch.

that kind of queer joy and character redemption is not something i have ever seen before, and con performed it perfectly. he was there, surrounded by the crew, literally held up by a physical manifestation of their love for him. that is the apex of a character arc if i've ever seen one. that was his moment.

and for a time, he was happy. did it feel short because the pacing was incredibly rushed this season? oh, absolutely. but that's not the fault of anyone but hbo and their corporate bullshit. they had to jam-pack a dozen character arcs into eight half-hour episodes and do justice to all of them, so of course it felt rushed. but that moment, la vie en rose, and all the times after, that was a character done justice.

and then, he died. but did he die alone, or unloved, or unhappy, or before his time? no.

izzy hands died surrounded by the people who loved him, in the arms of the person he loved most in the world. he died forgiving and being forgiven. he died having experienced pure joy for the first time in a very, very long while. he died accepted and he died belonging to a family, with a leg made by his crew holding him up until the end. he said he was ready, he knew it was his time. he was a fighter, but he died letting himself rest, having fought and having lived beautifully.

it's like he said to ricky. he's gone, but he endures, because he was GOOD. he knew he was good. and for a man that was so thoroughly broken and beaten down at the beginning of his arc, that's a beautiful thing.

we watched him physically drag himself away from everyone who loved him, repeating "you are born alone and you die alone", and then we saw him die surrounded by their love. we saw them prove him wrong.

izzy died knowing he was good, and he died knowing he was loved.

death was not his redemption arc. he was redeemed from the moment he walked out into that rainstorm and saved his crew's lives by standing up to ed. this whole season was his post-redemption life, and he got to experience beauty and joy before he died in the way he wanted to - like a pirate - in the kindest way he possibly could have experienced.

we watched him go from the antagonist to the heart and soul of the crew, and saying it was all for nothing because he died is so blatantly missing the point. (and, just saying, no shade, but the venn diagram of people mad about this and people saying the good omens season 2 finale was bad is a circle. sometimes bad things have to happen in the narrative because it's right. a character you like doing something bad or dying is not bad writing.)

so, izzy, rest in peace. rest surrounded by love. rest knowing you were good.

and con o'neill, rest knowing that you did an amazing character justice, knowing that you blew everyone's minds, and knowing that you kicked ass in every single way possible.

and third, the phrase "rancid syphilitic cunt" is going to enter my vocabulary forever and no one will stop me.

#our flag means death #ofmd season 2 finale #ofmd season 2 #ofmd #ofmd meta #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 spoilers #izzy hands #con o'neill #honestly? my only complaint is how rushed everything was #hbo pay your fucking workers and give your team more fucking time and space to work #if this season has taught me anything it is that con o'neill is a fucking icon #and i will never ever EVER be over the la vie en rose scene. i WEPT man.

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