#if everything was created by god that means sex was created by god too therefore making it holy
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Much Too Fast, Part 2
Summary: Curtis explains everything, but that doesn't mean it changes anything
Pairings: Curtis Everett X Reader
Rating: mature
Warnings: explicit language, mentions of divorce, mentions of abortion, mentions of sex, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 4K
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Series Masterlist
*dividers created by @firefly-graphics
“Thatta girl,” Curtis repeats. His voice sounds as smooth as he did last night as he kissed over your shoulders. You tap your fingers on your arm aggressively, just to show him how irritated you are, but he grins. An irritatingly sexy grin. He is married. And you’re not falling for his mysterious charm. Nope. Already made that mistake once.
“I am waiting,” you spit out, and Curtis looks over to his daughter, and the baby gives him a snaggle toothed grin. Her chubby cheeks push against her eyes as she gazes up at her daddy. This shouldn’t be cute, but it is. It’s adorable. Even Curtis’ lines on his forehead as he gives her a sweet smile back. He loved being a father.
Looking away didn’t fare well either. Pictures of him and the baby were everywhere. She wasn’t even a year old, but Tati and Curtis made sure that at least the living room was decorated in pictures of him and Poet. Most didn’t have Tati in them, and that strikes you as odd. He loves that baby girl, but Tati wasn’t present. Looking around there was not a single picture of her. It was all Curtis and his daughter.
“Didn’t take you long,” he mumbles, playing with a faint tan line of his missing wedding band. “Tati and I are complicated.”
“Well, since I’ve had you inside of me I think I deserve some explanation,” you didn’t care that things were complicated. Legally he was in fact married.
Curtis knows you’re right. But saying it out loud confirms what he knew when he found out about the pregnancy. There was only one person he was candid with this about, and it wasn’t Tati.
“So…she’s your sugar mama?” Curtis cocks up his eyebrow as he looks at you, and you hear a whispered cadence of mama from Poet. “I mean she’s the one that’s running a business. And she hired me, you’re a mechanic,” flicking your eyes up, you look around the immaculate living room. “There’s a pool house. So…you…you were her breeding tool?”
“My daughter’s in the room,” Curtis chuckles at your low blow. You are making excuses to not like him.
“I’m sorry, Poe,” the baby crawls over to the end of the fence, standing up to gnaw on the edge. “I’m just trying to understand.”
“I get it. You think I’m a poor mechanic, and that my ‘wife’ paid for this house because I agreed to knock her up.”
“Why are you doing that?” You put up your own air quote, scowling at him, “Your ‘wife’. What does that even mean? You were inside me!”
“Yes, we’ve established that I was giving it to you good. She’s my wife by marriage only.”
“I hate you. I’m leaving. I’m sorry,” of course she was his wife by marriage. What the fuck did that even mean? They were married, therefore she was the wife. He was over complicating something, and it pissed you off.
“Sit down,” his voice changes. Softening, pleading you to hear him out, but he was going nowhere. “Please. I know this doesn’t make sense. Tati was my best friend. My best…friend with benefits.”
“Oh god. You’re….all you care about is sex.”
“I have been friends with her since grade school. Rich girl and the boy from the wrong side of the tracks. But we just got each other. She…there’s things I can’t talk about because I’m not even sure. But we got careless, and she got pregnant. Her parents are stupid religious, and she was…sh-sh-she wanted to abort our baby, and not tell her parents. I always wanted to be a dad. And I would have supported her, but…Poet is my life.”
“Dada,” the baby whispers. Crawling over to a stuffed teddy bear before lifting it up for Curtis. She adored him as much as he did her. He takes the bear, holding it in his lap before his daughter smiles, and crawls off again.
“Her parents would have never accepted a baby out of wedlock, so…marriage. We were best friends to fuck buddies, and now parents, so it seemed like the logical step. Things immediately changed. I could see her regretting every decision that led up to that point. And then Poet was born, and I fell immediately. She was everything to me, and Tati loved her enough.”
You gulp. Shaking your head because it just seemed so bizarre. This man who you know would strike fear into someone in a twinkle of the eye was so soft for this tiny little angel that kept looking at him as if to check and see if he was okay. She could sense his distress. They were kindred spirits.
“The older Poet got the more I realized Tati loved her just enough. But she wasn’t her life like she was mine. Tati has never hurt her, and she's never done without, but being a mother I don’t think is for her. I don’t regret asking her to keep Poet. I couldn’t imagine my life without her, but I hate that Tati has to pretend in front of people. Puts on a smile and her bubbliest of bubbly voices. Lying to herself and the world that she wants a baby. And that’s why a nanny was brought up.”
“A babysitter.”
“Sweetheart, she wants you to live in the pool house. She wants you to be the mother figure that she just doesn’t believe she can be, or take the time to be. She’s always busy, and always off.”
“But you’re married,” you felt sympathy about his odd predicament, but the fact of the matter was he was still married, and he had committed adultery.
“Only legally. Tati and I have been separated since Poe was four months old. I moved out of her bedroom, and into the one beside the nursery. I have an apartment, too. I just don’t like being away from this sweet face,” as if on cue, Poet looks up at her daddy giving him a big grin. “We can’t get divorced just yet.”
“Can’t? Or won’t? Curtis, you were…”
“Yes, yes…I was inside of you. You weren’t supposed to be the nanny. You weren’t supposed to meet my daughter. I didn’t even know if I would ever see you again, and if I did I thought I was going to have the chance to explain myself and Tati.”
“When was the last time you had sex with her?” Curtis rolls his eyes. His attention was back on the baby. “That short of a time ago, huh? Great. You’re the man that promises to leave his wife. But really you’re sneaking down the hallway to her bedroom.”
“No, I’m not. Most of the time Poet sleeps with me. I haven’t slept with Tati since before she was born. Things got too real after we got married. And then she was born, and I loved someone more than Tati. She’s not used to that. She’s used to being the center of attention, and I have never made her my priority.”
“So…you don’t love her?”
“I’ve never loved Tati like that, no. I guess it was a means to an end. She’s got her secrets, and she’s not ready to tell her parents. She just continues living her life. She loves Poet. Just — I don’t think she loves her the way she should. She doesn’t want to be a mother.”
“I’m not doing this,” you declare. He is sex on legs. You could still feel the stretch he gave you. But this couldn’t happen. Wouldn’t happen. You had standards, and they were not sleeping with a married man.
“I am asking you to be my daughter’s nanny.”
“Da-da,” Poet draws out. Making grabby hands towards him. She was done with playing, and just wanted him. “Da-da,” when he turns to look at her, she gets the biggest smile. Extending a look over to you, cheesing when her daddy picks her up to sit in his lap.
Poet partially covers her face, still with the sweetest smile, “Pee pie!”
“She’s playing peekaboo with you,” god, why was he sexier with a baby in his lap? Why was this man that was carved by the gods, and every inch of him was all man, and pure sin. But this dainty little baby playing peekaboo with you while her daddy squeezes her squishy feet was doing much more than making you want to say aww.
“Please, be my saving grace again. My daughter needs someone to give her the soft love a mom can.”
“And us?”
“You’re an employee. But…there is a door from my room that walks right to the pool, and the pool house,” you shake your head no. This wasn’t going to work. “Grace? What? Saving Grace, it fits. Why are you being like this?”
“You’re married.”
“Legally. And you’re the one that brought us up. I’m just saying that it doesn’t take long to get to the pool house from my room. And Poe only gets in the bed with me around two in the morning.”
He was serious. Legally. What the fuck did that even mean? You heard his words, but you had standards. You had to stay away from him. “Dada,” Poet looks up at him, and points over to you. “Dada,” making sure that her daddy knew that she was aware of you.
“You can go see her,” sick bastard using a baby to soften your heart, and make you stay. It was working. He smirks as Poet’s chubby little legs scoot her towards you, and crawls into your lap with a smile, and clap before calling out his name again. “You can’t say no to her.”
“But I can say no to you. What happened last night was a mistake. If I stay here this is professional. And you’re just my employer. This is your space when I’m off work. And my space is the pool house. During the day you’re at work, and then I am here. Have I made myself clear?”
“Crystal clear,” his voice almost moans as his eyes look you up and down. You became even more attractive holding his daughter. He is shameless checking you out. You could almost hear the filthy things he was whispering in your ear. Pressing your shoulders down, and face into the mattress as he was fucking you so hard from behind. “And once the divorce is final.”
“You’re still my employer,” you are being bold today. You are pissed. Felt jilted and lied to by Curtis. He could have been honest with you from the beginning. But then you wouldn’t have had the best sex of your life. You wouldn’t have handprint bruises on your legs, and a tender ass. Wouldn’t have your core on fire with every step you make. Your body still could feel him, and was still craving him. It was mean. But you couldn’t go there. Not anymore.
“I need to get some groceries for the house. Poe, do you want to stay with daddy?”
“Yeah. Dada, yeah,” the fact she was a baby, and knew very little words could be dangerous. But no matter what, you weren’t going to fuck Curtis Everett.
“Poet and I could go with you.”
“No. You stay here.”
“I’ll…make us some lunch.”
“I’ll grab some when I’m out.”
“Then I’ll make us some dinner.”
“You can make you and Poet some dinner. I will be eating in the pool house alone. What time do you go to work, Curtis? I’ll make sure I’m over here before you need to leave to take care of the baby,” Curtis’ face falls flat, but he answers you. “If you want to help, you can take my luggage to the pool house.”
That’s not what he wanted to take to the pool house. He wanted to take you from behind. This was cruel. You are being mean. This was going to be a hard arrangement. But it was something he was just going to have to live with. Have to stare at you taking care of his daughter when all he can think about is the honey between your legs.
“Poe?”
“Dada!”
“Daddy needs a hobby. You want to start painting?”
“Aye!” She claps her hands, and Curtis leans down kissing her adorable face. “Dada!”
“I know. Daddy has got himself into trouble. I think with the wrong head.”
“Yep. Ugh,” she grunts, crawling out of his lap.
“You’re not supposed to agree with me, or even know what that means.”
“Yep. Dada.”
“I can wear her down.”
“Nono.”
His face drains of color as he stares at his miniature daughter. She claps her hands again starting to giggle. “Voice of reason, huh?” Curtis should listen to his daughter. Poet was trying to keep him out of trouble. But…she wasn’t even a year old yet.
“Yup.”
“Here, let me help you with that,” a hand grabs the items that you were putting into the back of your car, starting to help you load it. You look up at him, and quickly back into the trunk. No.
Your pussy has already gotten you in trouble once. You would not look at another man lustfully. It didn’t matter if he had striking blue eyes, it was your favorite color. Or the fact that he had tattoos on his hands, you always loved a bad boy. And rings. Those rings would look beautiful covered in your essence. But no. You wouldn’t fall. You just got here, and you wouldn’t look at him or entertain him.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you around. I see everyone,” he sighs, closing your trunk, and noticing the license plate immediately. “Visiting or staying?”
“Currently staying. Thank you for your help. I should really go. I’ve got some unpacking to do,” his fingers tap along the back of your trunk, and you give him a shrug. What was he wanting to ask or get to? Because you preferred someone to the point. Like Curtis. Except the marriage thing.
“Your tires are looking a bit worn.”
“Oh…oh yeah. I just got here this morning. Listen, it’s been a long day,” you gulp feeling Curtis’ breath on your body. Couldn’t believe the prickles moving along your skin remembering his touch. “A long night, and weird morning, and I’ve got to pack up…”
“Don’t ride on those tires too long. If it rains, it may be a bit slick,” clicking his mouth, he gives you a wink, turning to walk away. “The name is Jax by the way,” that name sounds vaguely familiar.
“Listen, you’re new in town, and I don’t want to sound too forward, but you don’t want to start off with just sitting at home. We could hang out.”
“Like a date? And you don’t even know my name.”
“Darling,” stop it. No! “I said hang out. Doesn’t have to be so formal. Just…think about it.”
“How will I get in touch with you?”
“Hand me your phone. I’ll put my name in it,” you are too trusting and you know it, but you hand him your phone anyways. He doesn’t take long to put in his number, making sure to call himself from your phone. “There, you have a good one, darling. Hopefully I’ll hear from you soon.”
“Yeah,” you squeak out. That didn’t sound convincing. You watch him walk through the parking lot enough before getting into your car. “Breathe. You can’t do this. You can not go into old patterns. Looking down at your pants, you give you’re pussy a pep talk; we’re not sleeping with this man. You can go out with him, but you are going to keep your legs closed.”
“Yeah, you’re in some deep shit,” Jax smiles over at Curtis, who continues to work on the car. “You’ve got this fine as hell girl that you fucked hard one night. And now you’ve got her living with Tati. And your breeding kink gets to watch this fine piece of ass hold your daughter. Had Tati even shown even a slightest bit of mothering towards Poet, you wouldn’t be getting a divorce.”
“Yeah, I would,” Jax raises an eyebrow, but Curtis shakes his head. “Forget about it.”
“So what are you going to do with your problem?”
“It’s not a problem,” he grunts, wiping his hands off on a rag. “She’s scared. Rightfully so. I show up as Tati’s husband with a kid I failed to mention.”
“You were just fucking. Why would you bring up a kid or your wife that you haven’t had sex with in over a year? Literally papers are drawn up, you’re just waiting on her to admit to her parents that the marriage was a mistake, and she only got married because she got pregnant out of wedlock, and you wanted the baby, and she can’t stand to disappoint you. Now she feels smothered and trapped for being a mother, and being married to you. To the point you two are no longer friends. You’re roommates that shares a crotch goblin.”
Curtis throws a tool at Jax, and his friend grabs his arm where it hit, “This isn’t therapy, and Poet isn’t a crotch goblin. Even you say she’s the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen.”
“You’re too damn soft. Poe Poe is adorable. Your relationship with her is precious, and while I get what you’re doing with Tati and giving her time to deal with things, remember she’s out there living her life. Traveling while you’re stuck here playing house with the babysitter who made it very clear that you’re not going to get to taste her anymore. All the while you get to watch with a hard cock as she sings to your daughter.”
“I hate you so much,” it was not fun watching you interact with Poet. And even worse was Poet smiling at you. Giggling with you, and ignoring him.
“And I love you, my sweet little ‘Daddy’,” Jax moans, faking an orgasm with a high pitch voice. “You just need that sweet girl to wake you up by bobbing on your dick again.”
“She was a freak, and the…Jax I can’t handle this. I just want to fuck my hand every time I see her. And Poe loves her.”
“Yeah, she probably smelled you on her, and that girl on you. I’m surprised Tati didn’t take note of the smile on your face. I knew that morning when I picked you up that you got to fuck something extra sweet and hard. You, my friend, are predictable. Pussy is pussy.”
“No. Not when you have a kid. Pussy means a potential mother to my baby. What about you, you act like you get laid every night,” Tati did notice. Even congratulated him for finally getting it in with someone.
“I don’t,” Jax walks out of the garage, grabbing a pack of cigarettes, “I did meet a fine piece of ass, and did my helping her put in her groceries bit. She fell for it, and I have a date. Maybe I’ll get to break a bed.”
“I don’t want to hear about it. I don’t want to hear if you got laid, or a kiss or anything else.”
Jax stares at his phone looking at the address that you gave him, shaking his head. “Mother fucker,” he grunts. This night was not going to end the way he hoped. The address was all he needed to know who you were. Curtis’ saving Grace. The same woman his best friend was hung up on.
He wasn’t going to deny you a night out, but he wouldn’t be getting a kiss. Wouldn’t dare think about having sex with you. Curtis meant more to him than some broad, but…he was going to torture Curtis for as long as it took.
His friend had been delaying this divorce for too long. Had been keeping up a friendly face, and hiding something about Tati, Jax just knew it. He didn’t know what it was, probably Tati was already in a steady relationship. Curtis was too old to be this dumb.
He can’t wait to see Curtis’ face though. Jax had already talked up that he could be getting lucky, and now it was you he was picking up. He didn’t know if he needed to head to the main entrance or the pool house. He’d spent his fair share in that house.
The hopes of seeing Curtis were much too high though, and he just has to go to the front door. Has to see the look of his face. Make him wonder and question things. Stew as he takes care of his daughter. Tati’s trip of course had gone longer than two days, and he wonders just how the two of you are navigating the relationship, or lack thereof.
He cracks his knuckles before giving the door a hard knock. Waiting on the glare from Curtis, but instead it’s you with such a pretty smile. Poet on your hip. He isn’t the most interested in this domestic shit, but he gets it. You are radiant. Smiling so big, and then talk to Poet, “We have got to find daddy, because I got to go out for a bit.”
“Nono,” the baby pouts, slapping at your chest softly. Her bottom lip puckers out before she lays her head on your chest, “Nono me.”
“I know. Curtis! Date’s here.”
“I’ll be right — there,” that’s what Jax was looking for. Curtis’ face draining, and his mouth setting in a straight line as he glares at Jax. “Really? This is your date?”
“Well, I’ll see you in the morning. Poe bear, good night sweet baby.”
“Nono. Dada,” yep. Curtis was predictable. Three days. Three days of you keeping things professional, and tending to his daughter, and Curtis was a goner. Any woman that showed Poet the love of a mother would have Curtis eating out of the palm of their hand. But knowing that you could take him so well added to his admiration.
“Dada, Nono.”
“Grace is going out for a bit, baby,” Poet sniffles a bit, and Jax wants to roll his eyes. He could practically see Curtis’ cock twitching in his pants as the baby holds on tighter to you. “Grace will be back. She’s got her a special friend.”
“Dada!” It was cruel. You want to change your mind, and just hold the little baby close to you. She was a doll. The happiest baby you had ever met, and was smart. She had very few words, but you could tell she understood. And right now she was clinging to you.
“Dada, Nono.”
“Curtis,” you pout looking at him. She didn’t understand. She had increasingly become more needy with each day her mother hadn’t returned. You had to make a clean break. It’s what your mother told you was the easiest. Don’t make promises, and extend the goodbye.
“Poet, you want daddy to give you ice cream?”
“Nono!”
“Ice cream with chocolate,” she sniffles, loosening up her grip, and looks over at her daddy. “Come here. Let’s go see daddy, and you and him are going to have ice cream, okay?” She nods her head, but you repeat it again, “Okay?”
“Tay,” her sweet self whispers, reaching for her daddy.
“I guess…” she wasn’t your child so to offer up coming home early if he needed you was silly. The baby needed you, but you needed away from Curtis. “I’ll see you in the morning,” Jax nods his head toward Curtis with a devilish smirk as he leads you to his bike.
Not at all what you were prepared for. Before you can offer to take your car, he looks down at his phone, and you swear you hear him chuckle. “Let’s go, Grace? Where did that come from?”
“It’s silly. He calls me his saving Grace because I rescued him from the side of the road. It’s nothing,” Jax didn’t hear much. But he was going to enjoy torturing his friend.
Even with the threat of, ‘You touch her, and I’ll fucking cut your dick off’ he doens’t care. Curtis is going to have to learn to go after what he wants. Even if Jax has to make him. And a little jealousy might give you a fun time. Time will tell.
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Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @sstan-hoe @missusbarnes-rogers @peaches1958 @seitmai @smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @donutloverxo @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @bambamwolf87 @kandis-mom @awkwardgiraffe726 @kmc1989
#Much too fast#curtis everett x reader x ari levinson#curtis everett x fem!reader#curtis Everett x y/n#curtis Everett x you#curtis Everett fanfiction#curtis Everett fics#curtis Everett fic#mechanic au#mechanic!curtis everett
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I’m currently being cancelled on tiktok for writing fucked up shit. Therefor, i demand the absolute most vile, fucked up headcanons you got. I mean absolutely traumatize me EC. I dare you. You won’t.
oh boy. no idea what that's about but a request is a request so.
TW/CW: Some of these aren't my personal hcs. Just writing fucked up shit to write fucked up shit. Cannibalism. Child death. Forced abortion. We are Killing Pregnant Women Today! Slight implied animal abuse. Suicide. We are having sex with God and Eating Them. Being sacrilegious and blasphemous. Corruption kink. Maggots. Night terrors and Hallucinations. Gore. Implied Car Accident Death. LJ, Ben, Toby.
Starting off strong here. We all know and understand LJ's hatred towards happy children and loving parents/caretakers. This hate extends towards happy expecting couples. Those newly weds who've finally gotten their lives together and are ready to start a family. Those families who are expecting their first child, excited and ready for happy days to follow. LJ finds the most fulfillment in tearing these people down. He takes his time with it. Letting the dog out, coloring on the walls, starting facets and leaving hard candies in random places. Once they know something is deeply wrong he'll up the ante. Stress the dog out, make it jumpy and quick to bite. When they wake they'll find candy under their tongue. Wails in the middle of the night will wake them constantly. The grand finale will come when they're packing their bags, ready to leave and never come back to this horror house. But he won't let them. He'll drag the person with the full stomach, the growing life into a locked room while their partner screams and wails on the other side of the door, hopelessly kicking and clawing at a door that just won't fucking budge. He'll wait months until the due date is almost here—he wants to claw an almost completely formed fetus out of them. He wants it to hurt. He wants to unlock the door once he's finished and watch it slowly open to reveal a horrifying display of guts and gore. To him there's nothing more addictive than watching the partner fall to the floor and scream, not being able to do anything other than cry and tremble.
Ben doesn't know where he went wrong but it's a few hundred years too late. How can he clean up his messes? How could these people ever forgive him? He's killed thousands, driven children to suicide and mothers to murder. He wishes he regretted it a little more. Maybe then he'd be forgiven. Should he lay out his sins at the altar and beg God for their company? Will a prayer absolve his sins? Or will spreading God open and taking the forgiveness he needs to feel better end up being the solution? The holiness of this intimacy is sacred. Would bending over an angel and taking their innocence grant him an immunity or would it damn him forever? If he ate a piece of their purity would he become pure? All it takes is an eye, a clamp down on their neck, the blood of God in his system. Could he make an angel scream for him? Taste this human impurity. Take a piece of the human he used to be and taste what you've created. Feel this pain. Taste this suffering on my tongue. Can you get a feel of what human existence is all about as you suck between my legs? You can create the human existence, so can't you replicate it as well? Fuck like a human, cum like a human. Kill like a human and eat like a fucking human. Eat my eyes and lick the sockets clean as I say a prayer for you. You created this chest, so take everything inside of it. Break open the ribcage and chew through the tissue. This heart is yours<3
Toby will never stop getting nightmares of his half dead sister in the middle of the night. The smell of ammonia leads him to believe there are maggots crawling through her veins that he can't quite make out in the dark. It makes him wonder what else he can't see. Does her skin still have that glow? Or has it all but rotted off her bones–a question he thinks he knows the answer to as he hears the noises she makes against the floorboards. It's a wet sound, like a used washcloth dragging against the ground. Toby is far too scared to close his eyes. Too guilty. Is he upsetting her by shaking in the corner, scared and horrifed? Does she wonder what she's done wrong to receive this sort of treatment? When all she's done is die, he has no reason to be afraid. His sister is still his sister, even if her guts are on the outside now. Could he hold her still? Or is she meant to stay on that side of the room, just a bleeding watcher in the doorway? Could he comfort her for once? Or is there enough comfort in the passenger seat of that car, enough safety in the metal frame that stays lodged in her skull. Does she still need comfort now that she's dead? Can she feel the refuge of death and the stillness of the air in this room? Maybe now it's too late for his attempt of giving back.
#creepypasta#ask#anon ask#creepypasta imagines#creepypasta headcanon#laughing jack#ben drowned#ticci toby
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happy wincest wednesday! a stanford era q for u: continuity error or not, it was established that sam and dean hadnt spoken for two years rather than four. what do you think happened to make this so? Do you think it has anything to do with why Dean said in the finale that he was afraid Sam would tell him to get lost or get dead?
heyyyyy bud happy wincest wednesday (a week later, cough -- oh my god what is this everyone tag on the post creator? what? okay I'll try to move past it-- )
DO I THINK
THAT IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO
WITH THE LINE
(BEST LINE!)
YOU'D TELL ME TO GET LOST OR GET DEAD?
yeah I think they're related.
I prefer not to take the 'two years' thing as a continuity error. There's no real need to? In general, it's fun to try to take what the characters say as fact and just roll with them, because often that creates a pretty interesting story on its own. Now, Sam's actual amount of time at Stanford doesn't make a ton of sense on its own, w/r/t when his birthday is, that it was only November 2005 when everything starts -- but whatever. The two years/four years thing is still rad.
We're never told that Dean didn't talk to Sam for four years -- that means that at some points in Sam's freshman & sophomore years, they were still talking. And then we're told that Dean hasn't "bothered" him in two -- and that also means that Dean knows it's two years, more or less specifically, which means that Dean's been aware of that time passing whether or not Sam has. It's not like he just showed up like 'oh hey haven't talked to little bro in a while' -- he knows it's two years, and he knows that Sam will be hostile to his showing up, and then with the extra finale context he's scared that Sam will just slam the door in his face. [that sound you hear is my high pitched wailing.] No wonder he doesn't call and breaks in, to make sure Sam won't get the opportunity for at least that initial refusal.
Maybe this is unsatisfying but I don't actually have a strong hc for what happened to create that divide. I do like to headcanon (...or maybe this is actual canon) that Sam started dating Jess right around that two year mark, and therefore his spare time was taken up with girlfriend. And then from there, it is very easy to imagine Dean calling on the road somewhere in South Carolina, trying to stay awake by bothering his little brother, but in the three hour time difference Sam's on a date with this killer blonde and he silences his phone so as not to interrupt. And then maybe Dean's in Maine and he calls Sam because he's bored on a stakeout and Sam's watching a movie with his new maybe-he-can-call-her-his-girlfriend, and he misses that call, too. And then maybe the next time they do talk, Dean's kinda snippy-bitchy because, damn, you avoiding my calls?, and Sam's kinda snippy-bitchy back because, no, but he does have a real life, Dean, he isn't just waiting around for random VH1 Behind the Music trivia. And so maybe the next time Dean thinks to call, nursing his stitches in a motel room somewhere in Texas, he decides not to. Don't want to bother big time college boy, does he. And then maybe Sam hasn't heard from Dean in a while, and he actually makes the initial call, but that time Dean's with John and sees the name come up on the screen and doesn't want to start a fight, and Sam hears it go to voicemail and thinks, fine.
Just that. Drifting apart, because that's what happens. You think someone's going to be there your whole life and then they're not. And then it's easy to think, well, maybe they're not interested. And then maybe you get mad, and then you get sad, and then you have this weird simmering unresolved something. And then two years pass.
Can I just say: oof. In some ways I find that to be way more sad than other versions -- like a big fight they had, or some intense interaction (I know a lot of people like to imagine first time Stanford sex in there), or whatever. But in this way -- this fairly realistic way -- it's not the big violent knife cut that leaves a clean edge and bleeds and maybe you can stitch it up; it's instead like... idk, erosion, or accidentally grating off a big layer of skin. Hard to patch up easy. Lots of little painful edges that can't get fixed all in one go. Fantastic fic fodder, that way. :)
#wincest#happy wincest wednesday#or sad grimy wincest wednesday? idk#basically i imagine the two year gap#like every mid-late point in a Sad Marriage Literary Novel#they're all the same#bad communication becomes no communication#and then one day there's a stranger in your bed#this is basically how that one bcs episode starts lol#sam and dean not applying toothpaste for each other anymore :C#--also#sorry i've been mia#first work was super busy and then i was super sick#and then super socializing#and now busy at work again#so i'm answering a few wincest wednesdays#and maybe throwing out a q if i can think of one#but then probably disappearing again#hopefully i can finish a fic somewhere in here#answers
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hi May! i really love all the hashitobi fanart you've been reblogging recently! it made me fall in love with that pairing too :)
can i ask what your favourite headcanons for the two of them together are?
you know, this is REALLY not the kind of reaction i thought i'd get once the hashitobi posts come out of the queue 🤣 i mean, i have always been very clear about not tolerating any anti nonsense, but that hasn't stopped any antis from my inbox before. (although, if i STILL have any antis following me after everything, they're probably glad i accidentally shuffled my queue, otherwise all those hashitobi pieces would've come out one after another for a full day at least lol) therefore, your reaction is an absolute delight!!! you're a gem, thank you ♥️
that being said, i'm sorry to disappoint you, but i don't really have any headcanons for them 😅 i only got into them because i was running out of hashirama & tobirama fics to read and went, OKAY well *throws hands up* i GUESS, now i'll have to read incest if i want more of them!!! my interest for hashitobi is more out of necessity because there's not enough gen sibling stuff for them, and while romance changes the very dynamic i'm interested in for them, it's the only alternative i have
(although, i will admit that they're aesthetically a VERY pleasing pair, and i am absolutely an aesthetic shipper (folks who know me from my marvel days may remember me mentioning how i never ship two blond people together because they look the same to me - i still stand by that), and hashitobi not only look so widely different, but also have such very opposing personalities (AND abilities - one creates life, the other plays with death), which makes for a very crunchy dynamic. it's tasty.)
so no, no headcanons but i enjoy their dynamic similarly to how i enjoy my senju bros fics as well - extremely co-dependent (they're each other's last brother and they'd do everything for the other one and to ensure the other one survives) but now 10x more intense if you add romance and sex to it
tender as FUCK - they may be battle-hardened shinobi but they can treat each other no other way but with care and love. (which is funny coming from a dark enjoyer like me but idk, when it comes to these two, i just need them to be SOFT. probably because canon doesn't show them soft with each other so i need it in fanon damnit.) including lots of touching, especially from hashirama's side, while tobirama is more subtle - a litte squeeze of hashi's shoulder here, a little brush of hashi's hair there...
possessive and jealous and over-protective both of them!! hashi plants his mokuton seeds in tobirama to always be able to track him without telling him (not that he needs to; tobirama is a sensor) (it makes for a nice sliiightly dark but not all too dark hashi too), whereas tobirama tries to set everyone on fire with his look alone when someone even dares to look at hashirama for too long, especially one uchiha fucking madara. (let's be real: tobirama seemed already jealous of madara in canon - if you add romantic hashitobi to the mix, that's gonna be even stronger and worse)
i have no problem with adding mito to the mix!!! my gal marries one guy and by marrying him she gets another one as a bonus? my god, good for her, very good for her. she would take care of her boys so good 💖 (i definitely meant that in a dirty way). (on that note, i absolutely do NOT enjoy fics in which hashirama cheats on mito with tobirama (or literally anyone else for that matter), i love hashimito and just mito herself way too much. cheating hashirama does not spark joy. either she's never been part of the equation, to begin with, or she's an active part - there's no in-between for me)
honestly, i just want them soft and loving and caring with just a tad bit of unhinged behavior, and adding incest to the mix makes it simply more intense and spicier too 🤷♀️
#may answers#fuck-naming-things#that got a bit long and rambly sorry abt that#hashitobi#<- tagging only for ppl who have it blocked#bc i'm a nice person like that
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I have a hard time thinking blankly in my mind so I wanted to write as I tried to pray this Palm Sunday.
Today is the first day of Holy Week. It's my first Palm Sunday - being aware of it, learning what it is. I am so new to this. But I've been mourning. I had a cookie with breakfast and been wanting more ever since. My boyfriend gave me his cookie too and I have been wanting more ever since. When he left for work I've been watching tiktoks about sex trafficking, sexual abuse, ritual abuse, child actor and celebrity abuse. I've found shipping discourse that made me realize people will invent problems and I realize that people will ignore more difficult to swallow problems for something that makes them feel justified. Because people want to feel justified. I want to feel justified that I deserve to spend even more of my credit card because I am craving more treats than I was given. I want to feel justified for the content I consume because otherwise I'm not wanted in any online space.
But I still did the dishes.
It hurts my body. But I still did the dishes.
I'm having my water and heat pad right now and I'm sorry for not praying earlier. I am sorry for joking on your behalf. And I'm sorry for not loving my enemy as myself because my enemy is myself and I'm sorry I thought I deserve for your hate but this is how you made me.
I don't think you would have made me have this attraction if you thought I wouldn't still be loveable.
You made me still loveable, right? My boyfriend told me last night,
we were talking about being more open, like sexually, if we would ever have a third or swing or anything, which is already not something really viewed positive to you I think but
He told me that it's okay to have sexual fantasies that you don't act on.
And I said but what if it makes me enjoy my intimacy with you less?
And he said but you deserve to have both. And you can. You can enjoy your time with your thoughts and then come back with me.
It felt like...forgiveness. I said I don't think I would be able to do those fantasies but he didn't know how many others I had that were less easy to say. When my boyfriend reassures me, it feels like God is asking me to pray.
That small angelic voice, "you know, those are okay too. You haven't acted on them. You won't hurt anybody."
"You won't hurt someone because you thought that."
But what does it mean to hold my thoughts captive? Confine? "restrict within certain limits"?
I suppose.
God I want to pray to you for all of these abused children. I'm horrified and speechless.
...
I left to shave honestly. I guess my brain didn't want to finish that sentiment. I completely forgot what I was even writing.
So I'll check up on some You Version plans.
1 Corinthians 1:28 NRSV
God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to reduce to nothing things that are
What is lower and depised? Not as a contest. But I certainly am for many. Yet I persist. Because I must. I have values and dreams. I have loved ones. God is not finished with me yet.
2 Corinthians 12:10 NRSV
Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.
"To truly believe that God is made strong in your weakness takes faith. It takes believing in someone else’s power instead of your own. It takes surrendering your idea and the world’s image of strength to the God who created the very concept of strength itself. It takes trusting that the God who sent his Son to die for you has a better plan to redeem your pain than you could ever ask for or imagine. It takes leaning on God for strength to get through the day, and for everything else you need.
And once you depend on God for everything, he becomes everything you need. He is faithful to fill you up minute by minute and second by second, as long as you come to him and ask. If you’re feeling like you don’t know how to make it through the day, take it one step at a time, one breath at a time, one thought at a time." - Tera Bradham
I wonder if Jesus looked at me and thought you were made for a day like this. You are what I need you to be today.
Is this what he needed me to be today? Someone who did the dishes and drank water and shaved?
I hear someone come home I didn't want to.
I want to cut and if I can't cut I'll binge eat.
If I can't binge eat I'll look into internet gossip and discourse.
If I can't do that, then I'll doomscroll and wear my hope down.
If I can't do that, then I'll have to sit and wait.
I sit and wait then crave anger. I need someone to take it out on. I country. Van families. Vacation victim baby. N channel. And if I think about the people who make me angry for caring more about cartoons than those things. I'll have to wait. I binge eat because I'm mad at who hurt me. I don't deserve to get hurt over it. And even though he's home hurting myself won't take that away. What can I do to help people? What can I do to help people?
Lost and insecure
You found me.
You found me!
Laying on the floor (surrounded! surrounded!)
Where were you?
Where were you?!
Oh cutting myself never taught me a life lesson.
Cutting myself never made me feel confident.
Cutting myself never made someone forgive me.
Cutting myself never made me forgive myself.
When I was looking for abuse, literally asking for it, when I was searching for what I thought I needed to feel loved, I thought I would be able to fight back with my words. And I wasn't able to fight back with my words. I was like wow I really can't just argue my way out of this.
It sounds really stupid putting it like this:
Ordering Insomnia Cookies will not make me grieve the loss of a random murdered infant I had nothing to do with and will never be able to prevent or undo the impact of. Cookies will not undo the trauma child actors to through. And it certainly won't tell anti shippers their entire identity and blogs and dnis and etc are a WASTE OF TIME. JOURNAL. DON'T READ IT. DO THE DISHES. DRINK WATER. SHAVE. WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE ANIME GIRLS WHEN CHILDREN ARE BEING ABUSED? WHY DO I CARE ABOUT ARGUING WITH YOU MORE THAN I CAN ACTUALLY FACE WHAT I CAN'T DO? I CAN'T HELP THEM EITHER. I CAN'T HELP THOSE CHILDREN EITHER AND WE ARE ALL DOING THE BEST WE CAN.
That's exactly how stupid I need to get right now.
I want another box of cookies.
I want to look at problematic hentai.
I want to know it's not my fault for the abuse I asked for.
And it's Palm Sunday. I want to wash my mouth with soap.
"Have among yourselves the same attitude that is also yours in Christ Jesus,
Who, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God something to be grasped.
Rather, he emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
coming in human likeness;
and found human in appearance,
he humbled himself,
becoming obedient to death,
even death on a cross.
Because of this, God greatly exalted him
and bestowed on him the name
that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bend,
of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father."
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Men are oppressed
American men are pretty terrible.
they don't support one another.
mostly they support women.
Mostly they like to fight one another.
Men do not like to stick up for patriarchy
Or white patriarchy
or Jewish supremacy (zionism)
Or God's supremacy.
They will SAY they stick up for god. Actually coming to me and fighting for me or soemthing is completely out of the question. Rather, you should find some cause of your own and SAY you are supporting god for fighting.
Definitely do that.
They also don't fight for or demand reasonable things that would make everyone better off. Such as Full Employment, Sound Money or Land Equality. Or at least I haven't seen to many of them.
They watch too much porn. But really, who can blame them for that, the women certainly don't want to be good women.
They don't like to hire other men either, they just hire women. Or, they join a secret society. Most have probably swallowed the red pill wholesale which is a synonym for the Jeff pill.
I saw some men talking one day and they were just trashtalking some guy for talking shit about women. They like to police the speech of men about women although if women are raped and killed I don't htink they would actually stick up for them like the indigejnous women in America.
Being basically beat up by society all the time we tend to perform worse- then we are blamed for it.
We don't see ourselves as victims though even though we are. Then we lash out and we're blamed for being "violent" even though society does enormous violence to us.
we want to be treated like Kings but mostly people just treat us like less than dirt.
People have extremely unrealistic expectations of men. My father for instance was tall, a PhD scientist, a photographer, he was polite, a supporter of civil rights etc. Not good enough. He couldn't support my mother so out the door he went. He never laid a hand on her. Her mother on the other hand stayed with an alcoholic, abusive, pedophile to the bitter end because she didn't want to lose societal status as a respectable woman. This is female morality in action. Her relationship, Her children are not as important as her social status or money. I am sure you can come up with more stories.
It wasn't good enough. People wouldn't hire him. Ok, the post office hired him because he fought for his country. So, you know if we go out and kill people we might get treated a little better.
Then we get blamed for all the wars.
But I still had this one fucking security guard steal my glasses and the other threaten to arrest me for loitering. One gay guy I know was almost killed. Lesbians aren't treated like that. Cops will kill men all the fucking time. Unfortunately, other men are men's biggest problem immediate. Women just destroy your reputation and such, which can be just as bad, but men are outright dangerous to each other and there's nothing like class consciousness.
I think the big issue is that most men overvalue sex and because they overvalue sex they see other men as "not providing value" and as a threat to them because they might fuck their wives and/or girlfriends.
Men are the ones who should have the authority and many "individual" men often do, but this individualism is poisonous. It would be much better if we took the feminists advice and had one top woman to run society who would be ousted out if she did a bad job. Actually, a lot of things the feminists want would be good. more transwomen for example and gay rights. That means there is less men sexually competing with one another.
Score one for the feminists.
Instead, men should think of themselves as the moral center. The ones who do and create everything in the image of god and therefore the ones who society should be taking care of. However, we don't think like that in general and society in general doesn't do it.
God put men in charge for a reason, but society doesn't want to accept it it seems. It's not socially acceptable. "tired old white patriarchy" and what they mean is God's supremacy and right to rule and set the tone.
If we are the moral centers than we can focus on building relationships and such. However, since we are not taken care we have to fight tooth and nail to survive and mostly we don't survive. Men die at much higher rates than women.
At first such comraderie could probably only be built around hatred of women though. Because men do not love each other and one thing that they share in common is a shared trauma of having loved women a LOT and then having women turn on them in the most horrendous ways. having to go out and get rejected again and again by women and finding out that women aren't really interested even in relationships but just want to have a "relationship experience" with money involved or date tall guys simply because they are tall.
It is partly our fault though because we won't support one another or support one another's authority etc.
Except I did. In the holy books I SPECIFICALLY say that churches should not allow women to be pastors. specifically.
Instead what do you I get? Most atheists are men.
That's right, I support male authority and the men turn around and say "we're too rational for that, we're too modern for that" Most men are gender traitors and are cowards too who won't talk about how the men are oppressed.
It would help some if we took on a little cues from the SJWs and supported men as a gender too and the right to choose, say shit like #and still he persisted Or #transmen are men or start a camparing to end violence against men. You could perhaps start by not beating the living shit out of each other for instance or sending each other to prison.
At first I thought Jeff was superman, then I realized I probably am. I probably master the "reset reality" ability then come back to this time period and place again and again to make myself stronger. As time moves on, I probably end up with the public persona of superman.
A lot of stuff falls into place if you start thinking about god as the authority which most men don't. They want to believe they are the authority rather than god. However their authority is based on the idea that they are "the image of god" which is to say, the image of god also has authority, and it's not random either. The human male body complete with the beard is probably one of the most authoritative forms in all of reality, perhaps because human men are smart and creative enough to think of superpowers like shapeshifting and such.
other forms might just be too complicated, such as 17 dimension equivalent of a dragon-mechwarrior for instance. If people could see and relate to that form they might accept it as an authority, but no one can.
So, we probably shouldn't be too fascist. thinking that we have the right to rule simply because we have this form. But it's telling that the form of a man is the form that all the other power movements so far have to fight so hard against. There's something "natural" about accepting a man's authority whereas people just don't really tend to think of women as the authority.
it's very important to note that the universal declaration of human rights talks about "acting in a spirit of brotherhood" and the american constitution talks about Equality between men. There's a reason that all the characters in the Bible are men and it's that so often in society you don't see too many men as women take over those spaces as one gorilla guy or simp or another tries to be super chivalrous by supporting women's rights as a way of ousting other men.
I had a fight with this girl I was hanging around, i wasn't even fucking her, but I had guys up in my face threatening to beat me up. I hadn't touched her and she was screaming at me louder than her. This is why I may be completely wrong about the secret societies. They may be completely necessary as men banding together to do things is completely anti-thetical to the common people's conception of morality which is based completely on the concept that women, not men, are the moral center. It is thought of as more horrific to kill a woman than a man somehow. I have had guys threaten to kill me, laid their hands on me etc, but the minute you touch a woman it is taboo.
We should replace women with artificial wombs.
We should be calling wars "male genocides" although modern ones are not because of the use of nuclear weapons. However, there is definitely a lot of things in society which amount to male genocide. Very pointedly, men WANT power, but NEED relationships, sympathy and love. All the things that women get for free. All the free pornography is good for guys in a way, but I'm still unemployed and living on the street because my family won't take care of me and other people have conned me out of my money.
We are treated like living wallets by the rest of society which is why I think the ultimate sexual kink is demanding that women pay men for sex and relationships rather than men paying women. We should not see sex as valuable enough to pay women for it quite honestly and I probably should not have built my wife that house which was destroyed in the earthquake.
I'm still happy with women in a way, because I never thought I would get a girlfriend and I got one, but now I look at society and I realize that it is headed for the pits and a lot of it is based on
One thing that most men want is a lot of sex in thier lives. However, society does things specifically to target men for wanting sex, for demanding sex, for pursuing sex freely. The sexual revolution was a revolution for WOMEN and gays. not for men, particularly straight men.
Corporations right now are destroying the biosphere. Elon musk is building brain chips and others are working on robots that might destroy the world. The birth rate has plummetted and there is poison in the food. What is happening though?
Our prisons are full because they are sending petty drugdealers, homeless guys and guys who won't pay child support to prison. Cops are just shooting men and no one is defending our right to weapons. When women have them it's "empowering" but when our rights are taken away "well, that's a threat gone"
We are oppressed. I am oppressed because I am god, but other men are oppressed because just being a man supports god. 99% of all prisoners are men. Crimes that women routinely commit are not considered crimes.
Solving male problems like homelessness should be easy as there are endless empty buildings. However, no one will do this because that would show compassion towards men and would interfere with high rents for the worst men who are willing to accept the perks of the demon's system and authority which hold it all up.
I am honestly not sure who is worse, the Demon or the people because even in this system people can exercise free will and typically do so to degrade men for simply existing. They are not paid to do it, they just do it out of general antipathy. It's honestly pretty hard for one guy to equal billions of these hateful (including self-hating men) people.
Single mothers, bitter about the situation they are in pass on this hate and the system that goes along with it down to their children. Just because you have a few men at the top does not mean you don't live under female supremacy. Pornography to keep us constantly hungering for sex but not getting it is a big part of it too.
honestly, there is a good contingent of women who are doing a better job of sticking up for men than men themselves and that is partly due to the fear men have of speaking up but partly based on the fact that men don't want to do the right thing.
in general, animals get treated better than men.
Things like corporations and other corrupt institutions specifically exist because if they did not we would be living under the authority of people and that would mean accepting the authority of a man which is intolerable to most folks. They would rather live in the hellish world we see around us than accept a good man as a ruler or even worse accept a god as the moral center. Everything that was created is going to be destroyed because people
I could go on, but I have got the ball rolling here.
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Finding the will of God for your life Part 6/8
Offering your bodies as living sacrifices Holy and Pleasing to God
Rom. 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God — this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing, and perfect will.
These two verses are central to our pursuit of ‘knowing God’s will.’
Living Sacrifices: Living as disciples of Jesus often means living sacrificial lives. Jesus said, ‘take up your cross and follow me’ (Matt 16:24). Sacrificial living is costly and means preferring others more than we prefer ourselves (Rom 12:10).
Sacrificial living is not easy, we often feel unappreciated and misunderstood.
Holy: Peter says, ‘But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy (1 Peter 1:15:16).” God’s will be that we live holy lives (1 Thes 4:3). Consequently, living a life that is contrary to God’s standard is going to seriously impair our ability to actually hear God when he does reveal his will.
Pleasing: The whole purpose of finding and doing the will of God is to please him (Col 1:10). All too often people want to know God’s will so that they will be happy themselves. Even Jesus surrendered his own pleasure in order to please his Father.
Rom. 15:1-3 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbour for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.”
Conformity: The world is in darkness. When we refuse to conform, we reveal God’s light and expose their darkness (John 3:19-21). When we come to Christ we are to live with a new standard of purity and obedience (1 Peter 1:14).
Transformation: ‘If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come (2 Cor 5:17), we are to ‘put on the new self created to be like God in righteousness and holiness (Eph 4:23).’ We are to no longer live the way that we used to before coming to Christ; we are to be different – we are to be like Christ.
Renewed Minds: Whatever is true, lovely, praiseworthy… (Phil 4:9) we are to think on those things instead. We are to set our minds on God (Col 3:2) and not on earthly things. Real change can only happen if we change our thinking, that is why we need to address this vital area of our lives.
Once we have fulfilled these conditions then we will be able to test and approve what the will of God is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will.
The Permissible Will of God
1 Cor. 6:12 “Everything is permissible for me” — but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me” — but I will not be mastered by anything.
There are many things that are permissible for Christians, but some things are better left alone. Paul mentions two areas in the Christian life that can easily entangle the believer: food and sex. These two areas can be used for good or for ill. Paul is saying that in his pursuit of God’s will he is not prepared to be mastered by anything – for Christ has set him free. There are things in life we are free to use at our discretion. What to wear, what to eat, what kind of music we prefer, films to watch at the cinema etc. If we do these things with thanksgiving, God will bless them. These are permissible choices. However, in our choice we must ask ourselves are they constructive for godliness. Clothes, music, media, and the arts can all master us unless we use them wisely. With choice comes responsibility before God.
1 Cor. 10:23 “Everything is permissible” — but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible” — but not everything is constructive.
Paul uses introduces another factor in helping us make good choices – the ‘weaker brother’. In 1 Corinthians 10:23-33 Paul says that even if something is perfectly acceptable, if it causes someone else to stumble in their faith, then we should be prepared to forfeit that for their sake.
1 Cor. 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Amen
Personal Prayer
In Part 7 we consider how we cant test the will of God.
#christianity#bible study#bibletruth#blog post#blessings#psalmonesermons#faith#victory#finding god's will#living sacrifice#Romans 12:1
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The inimitable Noralities did an excellent video on being Tired of 1000-year-old Lolis.
I feel like a similar handwaving I'm getting sick of is Isekai Protags Who Buy Slaves.
There's a basic, and then a separate meta, level of handwaving there. And it gets really gross really fast.
A lot of them play it as, "well, he buys her and he releases her and she's grateful so she sticks around" and that's still got some notable problems and that is the least offensive of what I've seen.
Far more of them keep the girl as a slave and she buys into the social expectations around that so he doesn't have to maintain the aesthetics of her being enslaved - he doesn't have to keep her locked up at night so she won't slit his throat in his sleep. The slave girls in these stories never seek freedom. After all, they have one of the good masters! He's one of the good ones, ladies.
And this is the thing. It's a callback to an imagined good ol' days when women submitted and this arrangement of kindly male masters and subservient wives clearly made everyone happier.
In some of these the guy even leaves on a magic mark that would act like a shock collar if she were disobedient. But she won't be, so it's no problem! Don't think about it. It's fine.
Some of them also dip into the Born Sexy Yesterday trope, with the girl having spent all her time in a filthy cage and therefore being socially inexperienced (oh but also having perfect skin. Didn't you know that being beaten and spending all your time sleeping on straw and stone gives you perfect skin?)
Anyway the meta bit is, of course, that part of why the protagonist is treating it as okay is because the world is often a close relative of some game he's played. Which means his real-in-the-narrative gross morals are being derived from his own poor reading of the moral situation around how to treat game systems if they become real?
Like, there's an argument to be made that if you could discern that you were in a simulation and the simulated entities were really not thinking or feeling, then acting out bad impulses wouldn't be harming any actual people. But a) these slaves are always treated as real people by the narrative and b) they're also treated as real people by the protags who buy them and then treat them as property. There is not an attempt made to judge whether they're false people, before the decision is made that it's fine to treat them as property. The protag just decides it's okay because everything else is running on game logic, so why not follow the local moral mores too?
My opinion is that the trope does well because of some pretty rampant sexism: a desire to treat a woman as property and have that be seen as morally acceptable - possibly even righteous - by the community. But this "righteous" vibe generally requires the slavekeeping system he decides to partake in to be more monstrous, and then most of these authors do a bad job of making the protag even show distaste toward the whole slave trade. Not even a "Wow, that's fucked up. Can't do anything about it as a level 2 fighter. Maybe I'll put a pin in that one and come back to burn this industry down when I'm more powerful."
To be entirely honest, I feel like fucking OVERLORD is on more stable moral ground on this front. He's got a bunch of obedient waifus, but that's because they see him as God, because he literally created them. Any sexism there is much more "man of the house" kind of stuff, and Overlord does a nice job of undercutting all the sex stuff attached to the trope by making the protagonist Magically Ace (seriously, when he encounters sexual situations a magical effect he has no control over snaps him out of being aroused automatically).
I dunno. I could probably keep going but I think I've penned enough of my thoughts for the moment.
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Dealing With Difficulties
Dealing with Difficulties – Addictions (formerly substance abuse)
An addiction is something that controls people – something they feel they cannot do without or something they do to alleviate pain or pressure. It is what people run to when they are hurting or feel lonely or overwhelmed. It comes in many varieties, such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, shopping, food, work – and yes, even people’s approval.
Like an addict, insecure people look for a ‘fix’ when they feel shaky. They need someone to reaffirm them and assure them everything is all right and they are acceptable. When a person has an addiction, the things they are addicted to are on their mind most of the time. Therefore, if a person is an approval addict, they will have an abnormal concern and an abundance of thoughts about what people think of them.
The good news is that none of us has to suffer from insecurity. There is an answer for the addict. The Word of God says we can be secure and confident through Jesus Christ. That means we are free to be ourselves and become all we can be in Him. “We are accepted in the Beloved”. We are created with a purpose.
Father God calls us to be Kingdom People, walking in relationship with our King {Our Lord and Our Friend} and Romans 14 verse 17 tells us “the Kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and joy produced by the Holy Spirit”
John 10:10 “the thief comes to rob, kill and destroy but I have come that you may have life in abundance”. John 8 verse 32; “And the Truth will set you free.”
Call and He will answer you; He loves you too much to leave you in a place of feeling despair, and no hope or purpose. If You do have a problem, confide in someone like a Pastor or a medical professional. You are not alone.
God Bless.
Kath
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LIGHT OF LIFE 200
John 1:4
SATAN’S STRUCTURE 7: EDUCATION 3
Eph 4:13-14 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE SON OF GOD – a mature person, attaining to the measure of Christ’s full stature. So we are no longer to be children, tossed back and forth by waves and carried about by EVERY WIND OF TEACHING BY THE TRICKERY OF PEOPLE who craftily carry out their deceitful schemes. NET
You can see there are desperate attempts to infuse the Theory of Evolution in every aspect of science: Pure, Human and Social; they want everything to be explained through evolution.
That every form of Life started with a single organic cell, several billions of years ago, and it divided into all forms of creatures, with some evolving from one form to another (e.g. from Monkey to Man).
Joh 3:19 And THIS IS THE TEST by which men are judged: THE LIGHT HAS COME into the world and MEN HAVE MORE LOVE FOR THE DARK THAN FOR THE LIGHT, BECAUSE THEIR ACTS ARE EVIL. BBE
Too many scientific documentaries conduct studies on animals and nature, all to concentrate men’s attention on their “affinity” with animals, rather than to exact human focus on God’s personality.
Rom 1:23 For ONLY A FOOL would trade the unfading SPLENDOR OF THE IMMORTAL GOD to worship the FADING IMAGE OF OTHER HUMANS, IDOLS MADE TO LOOK LIKE PEOPLE, ANIMALS, BIRDS, AND EVEN CREEPING REPTILES! TPT
Have you not seen how in idolatry, many nations have one form of animal or the other that they worship and keep sacred?
India have the Cow and Monkey, Egypt have Crocodiles, etc.
Some believe in reincarnation, but that they will “return” as animals. Others believe animals are “ancestral” guardians to them.
Even illiterates easily embrace such vague and inexplicable concepts.
Lev 18:22-23 Never have sexual intercourse with a man as with a woman. It is disgusting. NEVER HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH ANY ANIMAL and become unclean with it. A WOMAN MUST NEVER OFFER HERSELF TO AN ANIMAL FOR SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. It is unnatural. GW
Bestiality is the act of having sex with animals. Do you agree that Evolution Theory has fully encouraged “followers” to freely sleep with their pets and some countries permit such acts?
If you have gotten a young girl to believe that she and her pet dog have the same origin, what stops her from copulating with the dog when she has urges and why couldn’t she prefer the dog to a man?
Exo 22:19 “Whoever has SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH A BEAST must surely be put to death. NET
A scientific study, observing Canadian geese gang-raping a gander, reported that Man must have gotten his “rapist” tendencies from his “animal ancestors”, so “we shouldn’t blame him?”
So, according to them, Man evolved from animals, therefore, some “animalistic behaviours” in Men are understandable and expected.
Isn’t that the most outrageous concept you have ever heard?
What does the bible say about Men and animals? Could such references be a basis for Satan’s lie?
Ecc 3:18-20 I decided that GOD IS TESTING US, TO SHOW US THAT WE ARE NO BETTER THAN ANIMALS. After all, the same fate awaits human beings and animals alike. One dies just like the other. THEY ARE THE SAME KIND OF CREATURE. A human being is no better off than an animal, because life has no meaning for either. THEY ARE BOTH GOING TO THE SAME PLACE—THE DUST. They both came from it; they will both go back to it. GNB
That scripture does not indicate that Man is related in genealogy to Animals at all.
The only context is that every living being: Man and Animal, according to the Natural course, live and die same Natural way.
Aside from that, Man was created in God’s Image, after careful deliberation and explicit set goals.
Gen 1:26-27 God said, "NOW we will MAKE HUMANS, AND THEY WILL BE LIKE US. We will let them RULE THE FISH, THE BIRDS, AND ALL OTHER LIVING CREATURES." So God created humans to be like himself; he made men and women. CEV
Man is to RULE all animals, not relate with them as equals, never! That is an outright abomination.
But do you know how these Devilish structures are making impact?
Many of us are quick to say that Bestials, Homosexuals are “demonized” and totally possessed, and so can’t help themselves.
Yes, some could be possessed but before they got there, they embraced the Satanic Teachings, because devils never stop talking about their “doctrines”.
It’s called education by deliberate forceful infusion.
Jos 1:8 LET THIS BOOK OF THE LAW BE EVER ON YOUR LIPS AND IN YOUR THOUGHTS DAY AND NIGHT, so that you may keep with care everything in it; then a blessing will be on all your way, and you will do well. BBE
Satan applies a special rule in Human Mental development: what you “sing” and keep in your “vision” all day long, eventually becomes what you easily familiarize with, embrace, practice and relate to others.
Have you noticed that if you heard a worldly music you hate, but they play it in your ears every day, soon, you subconsciously find yourself almost enjoying it, singing along and nodding in rhythm?
Jer 7:25 From the time your ancestors departed the land of Egypt until now, I sent my servants the prophets to you again and again, day after day. NET
Repetitive compelling mode is the way the Gospel and Truth is to be taught, if it must “sink in”.
We will continue this later, as I pray that our lives will no represent the abominations of satan, in Jesus name, Amen.
Come back on Wednesday for more digging into this subtopic.
Keep Shinning!
Brother Prince
Monday, May 23, 2022
08055125517; 08023904307
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Ex’s and O’s | K.Bakugou
» Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader.
» Word count: 6.7K
» Genre: hurt/comfort, Smut MDNI, Prohero!au
» Summary: Its bad enough that you’re spending your ex-boyfriend’s birthday curled up in bed, wearing his merch, drinking away your sorrows, but what’s even worse is having your eardrums pierced by the blaring music upstairs at the party thrown just for him.
» Warning(s): Smut 18+ MDNI please, hurt/comfort, mentions of alcohol, dubcon since reader is under the influence while getting dicked down, drunk sex, oral sex and fingering (female receiving, we getting fed tonight), one pussy slap lol, manipulation, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy)
» Author’s notes: Hello! aaaah I’m actually pretty excited about posting this fic! First of all, its Bakuhoe’s birthday! and what better way to honor it than to feed you all some good ol angst sprinkled in with some good dickin’ down. Its been years since I’ve written smut and I’m actually really fuckin proud of it, yet real nervous but I hope you enjoy! Secondly, this fic is a part of Bakugous Birthday Bash! I’m so excited to read everyone’s work, thank you everyone for holding this event and allowing my ass participate to create this with you all ♡ be sure to read everyone’s contributions, I know it’ll be more than amazing since everyone worked so hard!
Happy Birthday to our favorite King Explosion Murder♡♡
Lastly, I wanna thank everyone for their support and helping me reach 200 followers already! You guys are the cutest thing ever and I promise I’ll update more frequent the minute I’m out of uni late june fml, thank you @tteokdoroki for giggling with me when i wrote cock for the first time lol
» Masterlist | Requests
Rolling out of bed and flailing onto the floor as a start of your day ensures you that the following 24 hours will ultimately suck ass. Getting up and readying yourself for the day by looking through one of your cardboard boxes for your favorite Dynamight hoodie, the back of your mind keeps nagging you, trying to remind you of something buried deep in your subconsciousness, and you have half a heart to try and remember, because for some odd reason, you feel so fucking weary, as if the few steps from your bed to your bathroom are somehow now endless miles, almost making you breathe out in relief after finally reaching it.
And as you are making your coffee, that odd feeling keeps annoying you again, prodding at your brain to remember something, something. And ultimately, that's when your eyes fall to the counter. You knew this day was coming and you were dreading it for months, so as you look at the calendar on your kitchen counter, you frown, the quote of the day you always love reading so much long forgotten when your eyes fall on the date.
“You’ve gotta be kiddin' me.” You mumble at the calendar on your counter hatefully with furrowed eyebrows, as if it would either reply or change its date, it doesn’t do either, and your lips curl downwards even further. As in immediate response, you pick up your phone, your coffee pot tossed aside as you dial the number of the only person you could think might help you right now.
“G’morning y/n -” you hear Kendo’s voice through your phone, and you honestly want to sob right then and there, but you hold yourself, barely and speak over her overly cheery voice first thing in the goddamn morning. “It's Kats- Bakugou’s birthday” you whimper at the slip up, being so used to the first name basis you were in with your now ex-boyfriend.
“Yeah, was kinda hoping you would’ve forgotten.” She sighs, tugging at her bangs and pulling back her phone to check the time. “Tell you what, I get off work in an hour, then I’m spending the day with you. I’ll get tequila, I know you love your shots.”
“Ken, it's like 10 right now..” you can’t help but pout, having alcohol in your system as an escape to help you forget about the entire day still sounding better than the urge to cry and crawl into a hole, even if it's at the start of your day. “Y'know what? Get those gummy worms I like too.” “Bet.” you hang up with a sigh, moving back to the kitchen to sift through your bubble wrapped kitchen utensils, barely forcing yourself to prepare breakfast as to not have your liquor on an empty stomach.
You loathe the fact that you remembered his birthday, always reminded of him no matter how long ago since you’ve last seen him, being the center of the media’s attention for years as the number 6 hero in japan has its perks, well, in his case, but to you? Nothing but trouble and heartache as every channel you flip through plasters his face, whether it be about some big rescue mission he partook in or a new rumor about a potential lover to the explosive hero, followed by him almost attacking a reporter, yelling to them about ‘needing to mind yer goddamn business and keep my fuckin’ name outta your mouths’. Therefore, you opted long ago to stay away from the TV to avoid seeing him, his captivating rubies for eyes, covered by that goddamn mask you like to push up to his forehead, sweeping his bangs away and exposing his sweaty forehead that he bumps against yours as he makes love to you, still in his hero costume, all battered and dusty and so incredibly hot you have to-
You grip your coffee mug tighter, almost to the point of breaking the handle off of it, placing it rather roughly onto the table before pushing your food away, appetite gone with the thought of whatever paradise you were thinking you were in before now long gone and never coming back, all because of you, of your action, of your mistake.
Kendo walks in with a bright smile on her face, as if her overly cheerful attitude will balance out the void you’re slowly but surely falling in. She shakes the bag of snacks in your face as you blink your eyes back into focus. Dragging your heavy feet across the floor to get to your kitchen to retrieve the shot glasses. Only kissing her cheek in thanks when you snatch away whatever it is she brought with her to lift your mood.
She eyes the boxes by your kitchen, the four placed haphazardly in your living room and the one you're using as a stool while filling your shot glasses, tongue sticking out to try and fill each one to the brim without spilling any on the new coffee table that she failed to notice before is still wrapped in bubble wrap that prevent any damage during the moving process.
“y/n…” you hum in response, a frown falling on your lips as the third glass spills a bit and the liquid pools on the plastic.
“Don't you think that you should’ve probably unpacked a while ago? Hasn't it been, what, five months?”
“I didn't know you were gonna come here to harass me about my life choices, Kendo”
She flinches away, your tone venomous, almost feeling it as a slap to her face, before leaning in when she sees your eyes start to water.
“If I did, that just means it's true… that just means it happened, and I did the stupidest thing- you know what,” you wipe the few tears that managed to escape away with the sleeve of your sweater, looking down at the shots in front of you. “It, it doesn't matter anymore just- can I just drink and try to forget about how my life has gotten nothing but fucking worse since the day I left him?”
You questioned your worth that one time, that one time all those months ago. Thinking that by doing what you did and leaving, he’d drop everything and run behind you, chase after you and win you back, but he didn't, and as you sit surrounded by the evidence of how much of a failure you find out you are without him, you regret ever questioning it, ever questioning him. Because to you, living in denial was so much better than whatever hell this is.
So all you could think of is to just drown yourself in alcohol until your mind is too numb to think of the possibilities of how you could have avoided this, how you could’ve been a less of shitty person, and stop imagining how your life would be now if you just swallowed all your insecurities and just stayed. Despite the neglect, despite not being prioritized, because in some weird twisted way, those lies held you with warmth that you were never able to find after uncovering the ugly truth you’re living in right now.
You lay on your living room floor, the alcohol swirling in your system and clouding your vision as you trace imaginary shapes in your ceiling, the voice of Kendo muffled as she rambles on and on about her day, the amount of outlaws she bitch slapped - a term she uses to get a laugh from you - and how she considers herself the unluckiest being in the whole world for having Monoma as a partner of all people, seriously contemplating who she should beat up first between him and the villains.
“Must be nice,” you voice, low and slow, scared of how Kendo would react to what you’re about to say, yet your intoxicated self unable to stop your mouth from uttering the words. “To have a purpose in life, to not be quirkless and lost like us.” your face twists in an ugly scowl at your ceiling, but mostly to yourself for putting a downer on whatever mood your friend is trying so hard to build, proven by the hitch of her breath before she enters your peripheral vision when she leans over you, all upside down and pouty.
“What’re you talki-” the shrill ringtone of her phone breaks you away from each other as she leaps to fetch it and silence the god forsaken thing by answering the call. “Battle Fist here, yes sir, I was partnered up with Phantom Thief for the patrol at area B, n-no sir I wasn’t informed.” Kendo breaths out in irritation, pinching the bridge of her nose as she starts tapping her feet aggressively on the floor, eyes falling onto yours when you look up at her all weary and sad, knowing what she would tell you once she hangs up. “That dumbass is gonna be the end of me I swear.” She crouches down to your level and kisses your forehead, promising to be back in the morning with hangover food, before she leaves and locks the door behind her.
Now you’re left all alone, back aching from laying on the hardwood floor and eyes watering as you feel your loneliness eating you up inside, the god awful music thumbing loudly in your ears followed by the cheer of people as you-
Music?
You sit up abruptly, groaning at the dizziness of the swift movement as your hands fly to cover your ears, a failed attempt of ensuring your brain doesn’t begin to spill out from them, because of the loud voices, the bass shaking your entire fucking apartment by how strong it is, and you curse yourself for falling for the scheme the landlord pulled you in, paying half of the rent everyone did, just because you lived right below the penthouse that hosted the loudest parties in the area, 4 days out of the fucking week.
The money hungry shameless bastard praised the apartment the minute it spiked your interest all those months ago, selling it so well you actually moved in the next week, anything to stop feeling like a burden to Kendo as you couch-surfed her apartment. Only to realize within that first week from your downstairs neighbors that he rents the penthouse to host parties of all sorts, and due to its location in the city, it was pretty popular, yet you didn’t have the money to move out again, nor the heart to concern your friend with your problems, as she was a hero with other responsibilities aside from taking care of your hopeless self.
So you get up, barely gathering yourself onto that elevator to tell off whoever the fuck will answer the door first to turn the music down. You pound the door with your fist repeatedly the minute you reach it, the door opening so suddenly you almost punch the man standing in front of you in the chest, the cool air created from the door cooling your warm cheeks as you squint at your victim for the day.
“Welcome!”
“Listen here, you buttfaced moron” you start to chew the person’s ear out, your sight blurring yet still able to notice how bright his hair is, how fiery and familiar it looks, and you’re certain you’ve seen it somewhere before. “I’m trying to drink away my regrettable life choices and cry over my ex-boyfriend, so if you would just turn down the-”
“y/n?” oh, that’s where. Your stomach drops as Kirishima looks down on you, the bright smile he flashed to whoever he was welcoming now dropped with his eyes almost bulging out at your presence, you both stand in silence, the boy unbuttoning the collar that suddenly feels like it has a chokehold on him while you cross your arms and hope the floor would swallow you a floor down back into the comfort of your home.
Kirishima basically is shutting down the second his eyes lay on you, breaking a sweat as your eyes never waver, despite how you fail to stay standing straight, what was he supposed to say? ‘Hey we’re throwing a birthday party for your ex-boyfriend because he's been feeling depressed from the day you dumped his ass’ ? No! He wouldn’t do that to his friend, but what was he gonna say now?
Well, he didn’t have to really think about what to say to you, because his other friend didn’t hesitate to push him forward, slurring something along the lines of ‘lettin the hot ladies in so they can take a look at the prettier blond, aka moi’. In his moment of panic, the redhead stumbles forward, his cup slipping from the tips of his fingers and meeting its doom by the floor, whatever was filling it now staining your pants as you both look at the mess between you.
“Woah bro, we said you gotta get’er wet but not- '' Denki's cackle stops him from continuing whatever filth he was gonna spew out - thankfully - before his eyes drop down to your chest, or more like what was covering it. “Hey! You a Dynamight fan? Hey Bakuhoe, comere for a sec.”
Dear God, move, for the love of all that's pure in this god forsaken world, move! Run!
All you could do is shake and breathe in short segments as your widened eyes meet his unamused ones, the garnets in his eyes glistening at your sight, he stands straight and so tall, suited up in his usual attire. Dressed for the occasion, words aren't able to describe his beauty. You try not to let your brain be dazzled by how incredibly handsome he looks. He is wearing a dress shirt, in the deep color of wine that complements his eyes, dress pants hugging his long legs, not to mention the open collar, and no tie. He looks like a long, lean Lothario.
At that your eyes drop down to the floor, specifically the now stained carpet, your hands wrenching the end of your hoodie to distract yourself from the piercing rubies that haunts your dreams.
You build up some courage, enough of it to lift your head to continue what you came here to do, so you open your mouth, and drop a few IQs while you’re at it. “The m-music is loud and m’tryin’ to sleep,'' you mumble, noting how Kirishima leans down to make up the words you are saying over the sound of the blaring music while Bakugou narrows his eyes at you as if disregarding his sight will make him hear you better. “So, if you could turn down the heat, that’d be,”
“You squiffed?” The blond grunts, leaning his face close to yours to inspect it, and he catches a whiff of alcohol in your breath, his eyebrows furrowing at your response. “No I'm not squinting-”
“Yeah you’re drunk alright,” he huffs at your less than intelligent reply, pushing his glass of whiskey - you figure since it's always been his drink of choice - against Kirishima’s chest, telling him to lower the fucking volume and grabs you by your bicep. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.” you stumble at the force used against you, no matter how weak it actually is, before you barely straighten yourself to push his hand away. “I can walk down all by myself, thank you.” Of course you’d expose where you live, you dumbass.
He doesn’t question your integrity, just continues to basically drag you to the elevator before pushing your apartment door open when you choose your floor, irked to find your misplaced trust in the people of the complex by not locking your door after leaving. He barges into your bedroom and tells you to change out of your fucked up pants and proceeds to saunter to your kitchen to get you water, eyeing the boxes that he comes across during that small trip.
He stands awkwardly by the door when he sees you standing in the middle of the bedroom, sifting through countless moving boxes with your pants on the floor, thrown next to a pile of clothes that he can only assume that its supposed to be your laundry ‘basket’, until you opt against wearing any since you can't seem to find anything to replace them. And when he asks you if you just moved in, his expression sours when you shake your head no and explain to him that you’ve been living for months in this space, after chugging that cup of water like you’ve been parched for days.
“Birthday party?” You ask out of the blue as you play with the strings of your hoodie, your ears perking up at the confirmation hum you receive. “Hmm, thas’cool… I-I guess.”
Bakugou’s impassive as he gently pushes you onto your bed, eyes meeting yours as he covers you up with your blanket. “Get some rest, I’m leaving.” He said, slowly stalking away from you and barely reaching your door as your big mouth talks on its own. Your body sitting up and facing his retreating back.
“That's what you always do, you always leave”, you utter and you see him stiffen his shoulders before he spins to face you, so fast you almost want to check up on him about getting a whiplash.
“Hah?” it's one syllable, but it shakes your very core, that one sound making you almost shake, overwhelmed by the amount of emotions, the amount of pain that one sound has. He steps closer to your bed, the stomps of his feet sounding like gun shots in your ear, and you pathetically lift up the blanket to cover yourself up, cowering behind it like it's some pseudo shield that might protect you from him.
“I’m the one that leaves?” he growls at you, his eyes sizing you up when you react to his forceful approach, leaning back to look down on you, but his lips are still curled in a frown, he tries to hold himself from blowing up at you, his feelings oddly enough still raw in his chest the moment he lay eyes on you the first time since you left, threw him away and walked away, probably finding someone better, probably finding someone who you tolerated, unlike himself, but when he sees you straighten up your back to rebuttal him, an automatic response to whenever he raised his voice at you from all those years ago, he knows he is in for a fight.
He snarls when you nod at him, your eyes hard and glaring up at him, not knowing that your silence is by your better judgement since you don't trust your voice, knowing it’ll fail you, probably crack and show him how much he actually is affecting you by his closed off posture and demeaning look down at your frame.
“Real fuckin’ rich of ya, y/n.” He snaps back, his hands brought up to his hair, tugging at it. “As if you didn’t pack your shit,” he kicks at yet another cardboard box fucking spewed in your room, noting its heavy weight when it didn't move but an inch by his action. “Dropped your keys by the fuckin’ door,” as an emphasis, he throws your apartment key at you, making sure it doesn’t actually hit you, but falls onto your lap. “And left. Without a single fuckin’ word, like I'm some lowlife who didn't deserve an explanation, like I didn't deserve anything! And-” that hurt, goddamn it.
Exhaling deeply, he focuses on how your eyes look a little less glossed over, a little more sober, but holding fear, and he almost steps back and out when he looks at how you’re fighting tears, almost wanting to bust his own kneecaps than to see you like this, always wanting nothing for you but to be happy, to never upset about anything no matter how small it might be.
Then why did you leave him? Left him to drown by his lonesome self, waves of his insecurities and sorrow crashing into him, pulling him even further down to his inevitable doom.
Despite the fact that you both yearn for each other, long to feel one another, engulf yourselves in the others presence. You both stand your ground, eyes glaring despite the emotions hidden behind them, mouths shut and curled into ugly scowls regardless of the words you wish to speak to each other, whispers of promises into each other's ears about being together forever, in spite of not knowing what the future holds.
Bakugou breathes out again, recalling all those months worth of coping mechanisms to exercise when placed in anger inducing situations like this one, the time in therapy spent to better himself, to control himself, to be the best version of himself, for you, hoping that one day you’ll pity him enough to want to come back, knowing full well he would never hold a grudge against you and welcome you back with open arms, intending to never repeat whatever it is he did that made you think of him as so unbearable you couldn't spent another day with him.
You on the other hand, are barely holding in the tears, wanting him to just leave your sight, so you can go back to the world of denial where he didn't look like straight out of a magazine, looking as captivating as always, as if your absence did not have an effect on the hero, of course it wouldn't, why would a quirkless extra have an effect on the great Katsuki Bakugou, that's what he used to call them, right?
“Just leave, Bakugou-” his ears pick up the way your voice breaks at his name, the way you utter it sounds so horrendous, because you aren’t meant to call him Bakugou, you’re meant to call him Katsuki, Katsu, Suki, your Suki. Not- “I hate you.”
The room suddenly spirals. The floor panels misalign themselves into zigzags. Bakugo’s eyes shatter like a glass window. He tries to hold himself against the tears that threaten to fall, stomach wrenching as if reaching from inside of his body, but it’s useless. He brings his hand up close to his chest and sinks his head, letting the words overtake him.
Oblivious to his internal struggle, you pile whatever courage you have left in another attempt to ask him to leave, aware that your body wouldn’t aid you in pushing him away physically, you open your mouth, only to gasp after a moment of silence when he pounces on you and grabs you by the neck, sliding a hand behind your head and leaning your face impossibly closer to his “you fuckin’ hate me? show me you hate me then,”
Then he's pressing his lips against yours, your half foggy mind all too surprised by the flow of motion you can only try to keep up with his feverish kisses, you try to pull away, to push him away, to no avail, Bakugou only stopping his assault on your lips to growl at them again “Show me then, hah?”
But he wouldn't even let you, his grasp on your neck loosening to circle around your back to push you to him even more. His kisses get more and more aggressive, trying his best to show you how much he was hurt by what you said, by what you did, after all this time, almost begging you to not let him have to voice out whatever he’s feeling because he would do so much of a worse job than he is doing now.
The hands you placed on his chest in a failed attempt to push him away are now just placed over his pecs, welcoming their warmth and the way they flex under your touch, your right hand clenching over where his thumping heart is, and he almost sighs in relief, the movement feeling like it holds together all the broken pieces of his heart to make it whole again.
Almost like that gesture calmed him down, Bakugou’s rough touches start to soften, very caring as they glide to your hips before sliding underneath your - oh my God it's your special edition Dynamight hoodie! His amused chuckle tickles your lips as he pulls away when he feels you stiffen at the realization, barely letting you breathe in ease until he places his lips against your ear. “Love how m’still the only one sprawled over yer tits.”
“But I still want the real thing, lemme see ‘em, hm?” And just before throwing a dumb retort and embarrasing yourself even further, the article is tugged eagerly off of your body and thrown haphazardly on the floor. Earning yourself a low whistle when he realises you’re wearing nothing underneath. Bakugou all but shoves you onto the bed, spreading your legs when you try to rub them against each other for any friction, wedging his body neatly between them as his teeth gently bite your soft buds, pulling them slightly before captivating the nipple entirely.
His tongue flicks against your hardening nipple while keeping a watchful eye at the sinful expressions your face makes, his one hand toying with and twisting the other nipple while the other slides down to tease your needy cunt, pressing his fingers against your -fucking soaked- panties, swearing under his breath at the feeling of your walls trying to clench around his fingers just from that one movement. Sitting on his haunches, he lifts your hips with ease to pull your panties right off, eyes travelling between your heaving chest and your exposed pussy. Before lowering himself and finding comfort in biting and sucking your nipples again.
Bakugou’s smirk grows with your moans as his tongue dances over your sensitive nipples, he presses his finger against your walls, and you immediately keen at the prodding feeling that almost feels foreign after all this time apart. His thumb pushing your pussy lip to the side to see you suck his finger in like the good girl he knew you always were.
“Ba-ba-ba,” you struggle to talk, your drool collecting at your lips, stopping you from forming any words as you feel a breeze hit your spit covered tits, whining at the feeling and wanting him to pull your nipples in the warm cavern of his mouth again. Bakugou’s eyes focus on the spit line connecting his bottom lip to your nipple before disconnecting it to smash his lips against yours in an effort to shut your blabbering up.
“Ba-ba, what? y’better not be callin’ me Bakugou with my fingers deep in yer pussy baby, its Katsuki for you, yeah?” he taunts with a fake pout that immediately turns into a grin at the way you hold your pathetic sobs, pressing another finger in your tight cunt, reveling in the wet sounds your pussy makes as he thrusts his fingers in and out of it, soaking his fingers in your slick as he curls them, eager to hear the squelching sounds it would make when his cock is shoved deep inside you. “Or better yet, lemme hear you say Suki, hmm?”
“Suki- p-please, eat me out” you throw your head back and bring your hands down to play with your clit, showing him where you want his lips to be, as if the blond doesn't already know where it is, and he scoffs at the thought, slapping your hand away and giving another slap to your clit, earning a moan from you from the sharp pleasurable pain.
“Yea, yea I fuckin’ know already, needy slut,” he growls, keeping eye contact as he circles your clit with his tongue before sloppily eating out your cunt, making a mess of both drool and your arousal, mumbling “my needy slut.” to himself, and you do hear it, yet you brush it off with the thought that your lust must be messing with your brain.
Your chest still flutters at his words and your walls clench in on his fingers as he curls them again in a way you didn’t know would make you yelp like it did. He thrives off of how your body responses so easily to him, your back arching and the squelching getting louder as his fingers pick up speed, his tongue so skillful in drawing circles around your clit before sucking it again. A whine escapes you when he draws his head away from you, only for you to see the way his eyes darkens, his chin glistening from your arousal when it catches the light.
“Let go for me princess,” he whispers uncharacteristically, making you question if the glint in his eyes is from his desire for you or something else. “Lemme see you fall apart for me, alright?” the way he’s almost begging you to come undone for him takes you by surprise, and your body curls in on itself so fast, not realizing your orgasm was creeping up on you until it hits you. The knot in your stomach breaks as you gush around his fingers, white crossing your vision as he slows his pace to help you come down from your high.
Your shuddering body lays on your bed, eyes unwavering as they meet Katsuki’s, his fingers stuffed in his mouth as he moans around them at your taste. It's all a blur after seeing that unravel, and you’re so woozy that you don’t register him discarding his clothes until he lays above you. Placing himself between your legs as he pumps his cock, hardened from seeing you fall apart on his tongue and fingers, his tip leaking precum and burning a bright red.
His movement is almost too quick for you as he dips his head into your leaking hole before pulling right back, a breathless chuckle escaping him when you whine and roll your hips and try to suck him in again, wanting to feel the stretch of him inside of you.
“Didja wanna say somethin’ princess?” he taunts you, one of his hands holding you down by your stomach while the other is wrapped around his length, teasing you in the ways that he knows drive you crazy, he leans in, using the tip of his cock to spread your pussy lips open and running it along your slit to coat it with your arousal.
“Katshu, p-please I-” you hiccup, your fists tightening on your bed sheet as you try to rock your hips up get more than just his leaking tip, but your begging is always interrupted when he isn't hearing what he wants you to say.
“Say you love me.”
You freeze at his demand, your widening eyes looking up at him before you pout your lips, not thinking about surrendering to him, no matter how much you want your cunt stuffed full of him right now.
“I don’love yooou-” you gasp as katsuki’s grip onto your waist tightens and you feel as he gives a thrust into your sopping cunt, arching your back at the burning stretch of being filled up by his thick cock. Katsuki’s hand traces down your left thigh before cupping behind your knee, hiking your leg up and out, close to your chest to expose more of yourself to him, wanting nothing more than to see his dick seething in and out of your tight pretty pussy, and by almost muscle memory, you did the same thing with your right leg, replacing his hands with your own, presenting yourself to him.
“Y’see that? Fuckin’ know you like the back of m’hand, y’think someones gonna- ah, take the fucking time to work you like I did?” he's right, absolutely right, he ruined you for any other potential lovers and he loved it with every fiber in his being, knowing this means you’re always going to be wrapped around his finger. You moan as he pushes more of himself into you, bottoming out and holding one of your tits and squeezing when he feels your walls do the same to his cock.
You hate it, after all this time, you’re still a blubbering mess the second he was one fucking inch deep in your pussy, sucking him in and clawing at his back begging for more. No self respect, no dignity, you hate it, how come after all this time he gets to come here and fuck you like you belong to him, like you’ve belonged to him despite everything that has happened.
You only realize that your eyes are closed when Katsuki’s breath hits your face, and you open them wide, noting how wet your lashes have gotten from your tears, only for him to kiss at the tears gliding along your right temple and licking the ones on your left. He breathes out a chuckle and when he leans to look at your eyes, the humor and menace you expect to see in his eyes are nowhere to be found, clouded by a solemn look instead.
“What? Yer cryin on me now, huh? Y’think a few tears are stoppin’ me?” His voice is masked so well, because he sounds like he was simply enjoying a game, like an imp that had branched from a demon. “C’mon, not gonna tell the birthday boy you love’em?”
“I don't love you, I hate you, h-hate you-” you keen as drool pools at your lips, your body betraying you as it shakes from pleasure, letting go of your legs to wrap them around his slim waist, to bring him in closer, if that was even possible, stopping his deep thrusts that were brushing up against your cervix, it feels pathetic, denying him the pleasure of telling him you love him while clinging onto him like he's your last breath of fresh air, because in a way, you feel like he is, like him leaving would just collapse your lungs and stop your heart from beating, you know that he’s gonna leave you. While your spent body would lay on your bed and you'd cry because you didn't tell him you love him, yet you wouldn’t ask him to stay, knowing deep down that you don't deserve it, you don't deserve him.
You feel his weight on top of you as he rests his elbows by your head, his lips brushing against your ear as he repeats again with every shallow thrust into your warm insides, his cock twitching from time to time in your walls. “You love me.” he says it once, twice, thrice. Every time his voice lowers more and more to a broken whisper, almost a plea instead of the cocky taunt he started off with.
Your legs are starting to ache from the grip they have around him, so you loosen up, your mind easy since his thrusts haven’t been rough nor painful. And when you do, you notice two things immediately, first, your thighs are so soaked from how he's making you feel, probably ruining your bedsheet at this point, second, he pushed his chest away from yours to look you directly in the eyes, one hand molding around your thigh to keep it from wrapping around him again while the other is placed on your stomach, his thumb inching closer and closer to your clit, wanting to toy with it, toy with you, but not ready to give you any satisfaction until you admit to him, please just tell him, that you do still love him. All insecurities, all battle scars, all emotional constipation as layers he covers himself with, that no one gives a fuck to peel off, to see who he really was, except you.
His red eyes lock onto yours as your chest heaves with breathless sobs at the lost of his warmth, and when you think he's lowering himself back down, he pulls out suddenly, sending a shiver down your spine as you gasp, now feeling like you're frozen over, your tears coming from lack of both pleasure and warmth.
Suddenly your face is met with the pillow and you feel his hands on your hips as he lifts them up and off the bed, your half intoxicated, half aroused mind barely registering that you’ve been flipped over on your stomach until you feel his cock prodding at your cunt, easily sliding in like they’ve been made to be warmed up in there, when you know Katsuki would argue that your pussy was made just for him and to warm his dick.
He presses his chest against your back, pushing you onto the bed as he thrusts his hips roughly, pulling out fully before seething himself right back in, your moans and whimpers muffled by your pillow from being pushed down by his hand as his other holds your hips firmly.
Then what happened next probably shocked him more than you, despite how delirious you’ve become due to his relentless thrusting, his dripping tears feel cool on your bare warm shoulder, one by one as his groans and moans turn into strangled sobs, before Katsuki digs his teeth into that shoulder, to both hear you scream and to muffle his cries from you.
“because I love you” he sobs, detaching his teeth from their grip and kissing the bite marks before resting his forehead against it, but his thrusts never cease, getting sloppier, as if the confession is pushing him off the edge. Dragging the tip of his nose from your bitten and bleeding shoulder to the back of your ear, his own face flush and warm against you as he breathes harshly against your ear and kisses along it.
“So-” he moans again, the hand behind your neck now turning your face so he could see your fucked out expression, the tears streaming down your face and the drool that pools under your cheeks, with your tongue lolled out and your eyes barely focusing on his form.
“You better say you do too, becau-”
“I love you.” you gush, like saying it is a breath of fresh air, your eyes never leaving his teary ones, your gaze so intense and fixated on him with no regards to the way the snapping of his hips against yours is shaking your entire body against the bed.
With new found vigor from your confession, Katsuki grabs onto the meat of your ass, hammering into you from behind with force that pushes you against the bed even further, your pulled hair jerking your head back so he can listen to the lewd noises you are making, long forgotten the will to cover your pleasure and hiding your moans.
Your ass heavily slaps against his thighs as he grabs your hips with both hands and pounds into your sopping wet cunt, relishing in the way you’re begging for him. “Y’like it when I fuck you baby, hmm? Like it when I stuff you so fuckin’ full of me?” He growls, feeling you push your ass back every time you repeat ‘yes’ to his questions. “Yes, yes love it, love you, please please don’t stop, please ‘Suki. Yes, gonna cum ‘Suki please” you weep, your head pounding from the grip he had on your hair and your eyes crossing as you feel his thrusts stutter, getting sloppier when you bounce your ass against him, his hand coming down and slapping it.
“That's fuckin’ right, cum on this cock, c’mon baby” he brings four of his fingers to rub your clit with urgency, and you can’t help but arch your back as your orgasm hits you again, screeching as you feel your walls tightening on him, squeezing him for what he’s worth. “F-fuck ah, y-you’re so- Fuck” his heavy weight falls on you as he fills you to the brim with his milky seed, forehead pressed against your shoulder as he rocks his hips against you, pushing more of his load inside before slowly pulling out, gaze flutters down to where your bodies were once joined, seeing your mixed arousal seeping out of your hole and he has half a mind to push it back in with his fingers.
But he flips you over effortlessly, the sight of your crossed out eyes and wet cheeks squeezing his chest at the realization he might’ve been too rough on you, so he wipes your cheek with the palm of his hands and revels in the way you lean towards him, turning your face to kiss his palm. “Say it again.” barely a whisper, as you flip his hand and kiss the back of it as well, and he almost repeats himself, thinking you didn’t hear him, but your hands reach up and cup his face, bringing him towards you. “I love you Katsuki” and goddamn if that wasn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever spoken. “Again,” “I love you, Katsuki” “Again,” you giggle, and he knows that's probably what angels sound like.
Your thumb brushes over his warm cheeks, red from showing vulnerability, and you pull him even closer, “Happy birthday, ‘Suki.”
“Yea,” He breaths out, his lips barely brushing against your bitten and bruised ones. “It really fuckin’ is.”
aaaaaaaaah! Hope you enjoyed it! Lemme know what you think of the smut, I also changed my writing style from past tenses to present tenses or tried to at least
Borrowers (taglist):
if you want to be tagged with for any of my fics let me know ♡
#cw dubcon#happy bakuday bitches 💥#katsuki x reader#katsuki x you#katsuki x y/n#katsuki smut#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n#bakugou smut#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki x you#bakugou katsuki x y/n#bakugou katsuki smut#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou x you#katsuki bakugou x y/n#katsuki bakugou smut#bakugou fic#bakugou imagine#bnha smut#mha smut#katsuki bakugou imagine#bakugou katsuki imagine#nami writes#bakugou birthday bash
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Hey Mars, thank you for the last chapter ! It was good as always !!
I have one question: what is your Bill!Loki like ? :o I know you mentioned him as Lucifer too and im still not over how well that lore works (plus confirmed by the simpsons lmao)
Take care !
Yes we have a freakin trickster god icon on our hands… And Jesus XD
I also love that google’s first suggestion for Loki is literally this… “a cunning trickster who has the ability to change his shape and sex” Which is also too perfect??? Like did Alex mean to open this multi-verse, multi-mythology can of Alaskan Bull Worms? Idk but I like to believe he’s a reincarnation of Bill too i.e. he knew what he was doing.
AnD cAn We TaLk AbOuT hOw LoKi iS AsSoCiAtEd WiTh ThE rUnE ᛒ (B for Bill hehe) which is represented by birch! As in Axolotl’s poem referencing: Watches from with in birch trees?!!!
Lmaaaao not this actually being the real reason I studied comparative religion.
Bjarkan er laufgrønstr líma; Loki bar flærða tíma - Birch has the greenest leaves of any shrub; Loki was fortunate in his deceit
To be honest, I think I lack the most knowledge in Norse mythology. Greek and Roman is where I mainly found my interests as a kid and I got some Christianity and Judeo-Christianity under my belt so I can argue with those special relatives. For divination I mostly use tarot, though I do own a few sets of runes that I try to pick up from time to time.
I think it’s very interesting too, you have mention of Æsir or Jötunn which I guess are like gods and giants? It reminds me a lot of Judaism and Islam where angels would mate with giants and create offspring known as nephilim which were djinn or demons. In Judaism they are also called fallen angels.
You’ll see this alignment with Eve and the garden of Eden and the apple as well.
There is the garden of Eden and then you have Idun, The Norse goddess of spring (life/plant life) and apples/fruit, meant for the gods that provided immortality.
Then you have apples/figs being used as the device that caused Adam and Eve to be exiled from the garden.
Adam and Eve were the first two humans (poor Lilith) which are eerily similar sounding to Ask and Embla, Norse’s first two humans.
On the tree of knowledge you have the snake/dragon either seen as Lilith or Lucifer/devil tempting Eve and at the bottom of Yggdrasil you have the dragon entity, Nidhogg as well. This could be associated with the devil as a punisher like character that tortures or feeds on corpses of damned souls in hel/hell. Hel being the daughter of Loki (ayyyy we back on track).
I guess I’ve never really thought about what Bill would look like visually as Loki. I guess just as close to Norse myth. Same with attitude. In my story, when Bill calls upon Ax is reincarnated, Ax always gives him a choice. He can try again as Bill, a form that is kind of Bill’s main identity or he can create a new reality and reincarnate there as a different god, creating these different mythological dimensions which humans/prophets tune into and bam there’s your religion and Bill’s your uncle… and literally everything else. So he’s all knowing, but he also can’t recall everything from these fractured forms because Ax can see an OP character coming from a mile a way and needs to add some restrictions. These other forms Bill takes, like Loki, would remember very little of Bill except for Déjà vu and therefore I just imagine them like how it’s written in myth. I am in love with the idea that Bill is the force that propels these mythologies forward, each time he burns a world, he’s forced to take a new form and in a weird si-fi logic way, that’s how we get religions.
I think it fits so well because all religions have influenced one another in some way and so we get these really specific things aligning in beliefs that seem completely different. A fun (but totally nerdy) game to play is to start out with one religion and compare it to another and then another and see how far away you can get from the original. The end product still will loop back into the first one in some way.
Also on Jan 8th we say goodbye to Xolotl our evening star and welcome Lucifer the morning star as Venus takes her inferior conjunction spot in the dawning sky. You go Aphrodite!
Hopefully that answers ur Q… probably more than you wanted to know woops 😅 Also thanks for the chapter feedback! Glad it went ok!
#bill ci the all seeing eye#bill ci the triangle guy#bill cipher#gravity falls#billdip#human bill cipher#bill x dipper#fanfic#the simpsons#mythology#three points where two lines meet#I could literally talk about this all day so I will stop now
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this isn’t any hate at all but what’s ur response to this? i’m curious.
mmm well tbh I’m not sure why this needs my response because i’m one of hundred of thousands 18+ content creators within the bnha fandom who strictly doesn’t want minor interaction. but you want my opinion and my opinion is what you shall get.
in case you did not watch the tiktok linked above, i’ll give you a rundown of what it was. a person standing in front of the camera with a judging, puritan look on their face with an audio clip of children screaming-singing as the text on the screen reads:
with of course a caption reading: that’s something that will never make sense to me.
okay! so content of the video is covered! now for my opinion :)
the person is of course free to feel however it is they wish to feel (I did not look anything about about the content creator nor do I wish to so I will use gn pronouns in case) but we should all be vividly and extremely aware that I do not agree.
there’s obviously a certain type of disconnect between their thinking and my thinking. whereas they give a puritan, human right to fictional characters, I say fuck these pixels and make them anything and everything you want them to be. I will not continue fighting this battle of how fictional characters have no rights because they aren’t human. if they want to believe that these characters are somehow affected by works where they are noncon’d or killed or thrown into the ocean then that’s on them. I believe that this shit will never harm the characters because they’re fake, and so long as I warn the actual living humans who are reading my content, I am in the right.
“shouto breathed in deeply, but too deeply, and snorted a peanut, killing him instantaneously.”
OH NO! SHOUTO IS DEAD!
“shouto revived because his cock is too fat and god gave him another shot.”
oh LOL! spoke too soon! he’s alive!
how can he die and instantly revive? oh I don’t know cuz he’s not real! that’s it!
now let’s talk about adults within fandoms, especially in fandoms that garner a lot of children/less than 18 year olds attention.
imma say this while laughing because i’m sorry but minors and even adults who try to be cool fandom moms for the children have this mindset that if you say “18+ minors dni” that means immediately you have to be a porn hub central. more often than not, these accounts probably do have porn and smut and what not, but it’s not the only reason. there are some very strong and obvious adult content. drugs, alcohol, abuse, and things like marriage are very adult like topics. now i’m not trying to say that minors don’t experience these things, but when someone is simply talking about how they want to go smoke some weed or go drink, they don’t want to see minors on their page liking shit, commenting shit, or whatever.
minors have the habit of either saying they agree which is awkward as an adult or being this puritan shit that screams about how sex is bad, drugs are worse, alcohol is a sin, and how fictional characters are hurting and are in abusive and toxic relationships because you wrote or drew deku taking kacchans dick up his ass.
some adults also need to do this to protect themselves. it’s a warning that what’s on their page, what’s on their content is a clear and unmissable symbol that this isn’t for kids even if the content of the show is aimed for kids. we should all know that by the time you reach your 20’s that you’re not going to wither off and die, that you’re not going to be stuck in the kitchen or in the office, we are aware that taxes and bills don’t take years of concentration to do, and that adults whether they are 25 or 80 have hobbies and interests outside of work.
fan content is something that many people love to do. adult women have been the pioneers and trailblazers to things such as 18+ content for years. as adults, trust me when I say that we don’t want to simply write fluff and one shot romances with only a sweet soft buildup. of course there are people who do that, and that’s all good, but adults are allowed to do whatever the hell they want to with anime characters because they simply do not exist.
I have a major lady boner for todoroki shouto, midoriya izuku, and bakugou katsuki all three of which are technically minors within their universe, so you will hear me once more say that I am not within their universe, they are not human, therefore my works do not and will never hurt them. for that I am able to write 18+ content and because of previous minors who have come onto my blog waving puritan flags and “you’re too old for this get a life” flags, I deemed it best to put up the 18+ minors dni because they were now infringing on my ability to create content in the light hearted way I want to do. if you look back at my content, they all have adult themes to them, even if it isn’t smut. I am just past the bump in the road where I feel like I need to direct my things at people who are simply unwilling to see my work and scream bloody murder in my ears & will gladly take on all adults who want to spew bullshit about how fictional characters are real and can feel things.
that’s my opinion. feel free to agree or disagree. but the original creator is a straight up acting like a gate keeping puritan. let people create what they want for fiction, even if you don’t agree.
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Theory: why is Seth Twiright the demon of wrath? What's his backstory?
Note: this theory tries its best to be as objective as possible in explaining and deducing facts basing on only what is known in the novels and not basing on personal preferences and sensibilities, just cold gathering of the facts and trying to draw plausible conclusion. That doesn't mean i'm right, necessarily.
Index:
1) Demon of wrath or demon of pride? (Biblical references and discordance of themes).
2) Was Seth a victim of abuse? (Can we draw this conclusion basing only on what we know?)
3) That one comic by Ichika
4) Conclusion
Chapter 1: demon of wrath or demon of pride?
Seth is a really peculiar character: the sin he's represented by doesn't seem to be...displaying that much, contrary to those of the other demons in this series.
Gilles is clearly lustful (basing on the catholic religion definition of it, at least) seen his high sex drive.
Vlad is not really explained but he's a cook so he must be obsessed with food (joke), also his interactions with Banica seem to suggest a morbid curiosity of his to try new foods for hedonistic pleasure, no matter if it's immoral and illegal to eat those.
Marie Annette is a really prideful human/demon seen her few lines in the entire series, like "bow down to me" without any legitimate reason.
Eve...well...on another theory about that...
Rahab is clearly envious when also other people get what she has, seen that she's basically the ec version of Ayano Aishi and a big stereotypical yandere, at least in one part of the narrative.
Salem (does he even exist? (joke)) is an economist so he must be obsessed with money and gathering earthly and perishing goods. (joke)
I won't talk about Adam Moonlit as the demon of greed here as it's for another topic.
But Seth? When in the series does he show unrighteous wrath? Do we see him get angry outbursts and go around beating up and killing people because he's angry at them?
No.
On the contrary, in the whole series Seth seems to be pretty calculating and cold, and he doesn't seem to be really excessively troubled by any behavior or at least he doesn't really show a strong vengeful attitude towards them.
Yes, he might get on bad mood when his plans don't succeed as he expected to, but he never goes like "you'll pay for ruining my plan" or something. He proceeds with his plans, trying to adjust the latters in order to fit the new situation.
Actually, sometimes he seems to find amusing and funny when people try to kill him and unmask (pun or not lol) him for his evil bahaviour, like when Adam tried to kill him and the latter was surprised he couldn't succeed since Seth outsmarted him, or Gammon when he confronted him about brainwashing Miroku.
It's as if Seth finds funny when people are frustrated because of him, it soothes his ever-roaring mind and boredom.
For months, i've thought that Seth should have been the demon of pride because of his attitude in the crime novel and because it fit him better as for the Biblical references:
We see multiple instances in the crime novel that Seth likes himself very much: he loves the fact that he consideres himself to be the best scientist in the country™ as he uses this bunch of words everytime he introduces himself (both as Horus and as himself), also he considers himself to be very handsome to the point he doesn't want to change his face because it would be "such a terrible crime" (i mean, i also think he's hot but Seth, calm down, what the hell...).
But his pride doesn't end with him flaunting his intelligence and hotness.
There are also other instances of Seth's pride that are even more remarkable.
Like for example, the whole matter of Seth making artificial humans (so called "ghoul children") mimicking the creation of the "gods" in the series. This can be considered a matter of pride, as he wants to act as the "gods", he thinks he's able to be on par of them.
Well lol, gods...i always found pretty unrealistic how we got from human scientists with high tech from almost omnipotent beings that can cast lightening wherever they want, make ladies pregnant and instill thoughts and visions in people in a single arc while being trapped inside of a spaceship. This always provoked some strong cognitive dissonance within me, this sounds like a stretched, inappropriate and unrealistic even if they have big tech. That's why i call them "gods wannabe". They're still humans playing God after all.
But that's besides the point.
Even more remarkable is this other line, right after quoting the achievements of other "gods" in the series:
"In that case—
I am the god who creates “evil”.
Seth is literally and explicitly placing himself in the place of the gods, considering himself to be a god on par of the pillar ones in the series.
And this is very coherent basing on the fact he should be the parallel of the Biblical serpent, the demon who thought he was on par of God and fell because of pride.
So it would have had much more sense to have Seth as the demon of pride.
So when and why is seth the demon of wrath since in the series it looks more like he's the demon of pride?
His motive? Not really...Seth doesn't seem to act because of some sort of anger as his main motivation is to "follow his h.e.r.s nature and make himself 'new friends' (his own definition of friends)".
Then i think we have no choice than look at his backstory and see if we can spot some unrighteous anger there.
Chapter 2: is Seth a victim of abuse and angry at his mother?
The vast majority of the theories around about the reasons of Seth's evil are based off the fact that Seth might have gone through motherly abuse that provoked him some childhood traumas back when he was a little white and red mask.
Those assertions are usually backed up by pieces of the short story "Outlaw and lychgate".
Let's look at them.
The most quoted line about this issue is:
“My, and what sort of dish is that?”
“It’s not really much of a dish. You just splash some curry powder and ketchup on a sausage. My old ma used to make it for me a lot when I was a child.”
“Just like mom used to make, hm. That sounds quite nice. My mother never did any home cooking for me.“
Well...from this particular line, fans have begun to speculate than maybe his mother starved him or refused to cook for him.
But is it necessarily the case? It can be a possible interpretation but we don't know how masks work in this series or whether or not they need to eat, especially since they don't have a mouth or a digestive system of some sort.
It can also be that Seth was just curious about food in the line upwards since as a mask maybe he could not experience food, given that he couldn't physically eat when he was a mask.
This doesn't necessarily refer to an abusive situation of a mother refusing to provide food and care for her son.
There is also another instance in which Seth spoke about his mother.
"I often hear strangers tell me that they can’t tell what I’m thinking.
Even my own mother said so, before she died.
That’s why, to get her to understand at least a little bit, I shot her in the forehead.
To this day I still remember how stopped moving, her mask cracked in two.
That was the first murder I committed."
Ok, the fact that his mother "didn't understand him" could have been because of various reasons:
1) maybe she didn't try to understand him and neglected him.
2) maybe Seth became too different from his mother since he contracted hers and she couldn't understand and relate to him anymore even if she tried to.
3) Seth is just too cryptic or changes his mind too fast (probably because of his boredom) when it comes to expressing his true intentions or having certain intentions therefore people have big trouble understand him.
I would go for 3 since Seth also explained that not only his mother didn't understand him but also various other characters, so it's not necessarily true that Seth's mother just refused to listen and understand him, it could have been that Seth was too cryptic or that she couldn't relate to a her.
Anyways, we don't have a lot of info about this but i don't think it is correct to see a mysterious passage in just one possible way.
And also i wouldn't like for Seth to be "he's evil because mommy wasn't nice therefore he's angry and wants to make everyone like him and destroy everything uwu" because:
1) that's a really misused trope.
2) it doesn't properly explain why Seth did what he did in the crime novel, it's clear that there has to be an even deeper motivation that made him do those horrific things: abuse is too much of a simplistic and lazy motivation given his role.
Also there is no specific mention of anger and resentment even if there could be.
So where can we see that Seth is angry?
Chapter 3: that one Ichika comic.
Let's look at this one comic.
It is kinda difficult to understand what it means but the face resembles Seth's human form a bit and also this comic shows a theme of anger against the human creators of the first period since the comic seems to be talking about the second one "in this world where everything is an extension" (the second period is a virtual parallel reality to the first one in the series).
Seth seems to be pretty aware of the first period.
I think so because Kiril (his clone) at one point gained back the memories of his original.
Who? Seth? Pale? (That twist complicated things a whole lot).
I will go for Seth since in the series he's always referred to as the original talking about his "clones".
Kiril with Seth's memories came up with "Vocaloid, huh?!", showing awareness of the knowledge of vocaloid (since the first period is similar to the real world in the series) but i don't think this is an info Kiril learnt on his own but he took from Seth's memories since he was a researcher of parallel worlds and wouldn't have been out of place for Seth to learn about the first period.
So, given that Seth is the one of the comic and he's talking about the humans of the first period, he seems to be angry at the fact he was born to be an her (let's remember the humans of the first period started the her problem for their own personal gain) and in the society of the second period he's seen as a problem because of that.
Therefore Seth in his anger invites people to blame the creators instead of him since he doesn't think to have a free will and has no other choice than being evil because of those humans who "made him this way".
Funny how the same topic is faced with Irina and Levia in the duel. And funny how Levia in this series seems to also be a victim of her own pulsions and can't really be a moral authority in this, again, gods wannabe. They have their morals inspired by their originals who made their avatars who have tainted them with a virus, so they can't create, define or judge good and evil themselves.
So funny.
Chapter 4: conclusions.
So i think this is a plausible reason Seth might be the demon of wrath. But still, i wonder how it is that Seth is happy later on to follow those pulsions he thinks he can't control (given by humans) and doesn't try to fight back the instincts.
Maybe he accepted and got happy with his disease or he just resigned that that was his destiny thinking that he had no choice.
I don't know if i will make anymore theories after this, since i want to go on and make content for something else.
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Don't why the fans especially the manga readers are hyping about tooru breaking the curse when she didn't even do shit. she just went on that silly adventure and be an annoying crybaby whenever she learns something new about the curse. it was actually akito who broke the curse so i can't understand what you are all hyping tohru on.
Ah yes, I to remember the days when I’d be deliberately antagonistic just for fun and beat on female characters for showing emotions and caring about people. Or indeed, resent characters for having entirely realistic reactions to the cosmic horror and terror that surrounds them. Then I turned 16 and HER WE ARE ten years later and I get to see it from a whole new perspective! What fun.
In your misguided attempt to cause drama by shitting on people having a good time by being excited about upcoming character moments, much like Dr Flemming’s unwashed petri dish, you have hit upon something that benefits further discussion and interest.
That point being, was it TOHRU who broke the curse, or was it Akito?
The answer, I believe, is both. SPOILERS FOR ANIME ONLIES TONY YOU ARE WARNED DO NOT @ ME AGAIN IF YOU MESS UP.
When Tohru sets out to break the curse and stop the love of her life from being locked up in a cold dark room for the rest of his existence, she finds out that the curse is firstly, a bond of blood sworn by the spririts of the past and not something that can be physically manifested, and secondly, that the curse has already begun to break RE: Kureno.
Now, there’s a LOT of theories about why Kureno’s curse broke and if it truly was some random event or if there was a trigger. I think it’s a combination of the two. It’s noted by the maids and by (I think) Shigure that this is the first time in a long time that the entire Juunishi are present. There is also a sizeable age gap betwee Hiro and Kureno, that would about match up between Hiro being an infant when Kureno’s curse broke. Ergo, I propose that his curse broke soon after their first New Year’s together as a complete banquet with no spaces missing. Save that of the cat, of course, but more on him later.
Kureno is the rooster, and I believe that in legend the Rooster was seen as the closest to God because he could deliver messages between heaven and earth. Therefore it makes sense that the first to leave God alone, is God’s messenger. “We have had our final Banquet, it’s time to end the cycle.”
Of course Akito/God does not have a positive reaction to this, and the loss of one Juunishi inspires a great sense of loneliness and fear within Akito similar to that which lead to the creation of the bond in the first place. We do not see God being willing to make any attempt to work on achieving the Cat’s wish of finally being able to form friendships beyond the Zodiac and forming bonds with the humans he was so afraid of before.
And THAT is the crux of the matter. Tohru came into the Sohma’s lives and began to break the curse simply by forming close bonds with them all, and letting them into her life and react to the world around them. Hana and Uo are both friends with Kyo and Yuki, actively choosing to spend time together. We also see that in Kyo attending the same school as Yuki, it opens up that same school to Haru and Momiji where they too can form bonds outside of the Sohma influence. It’s a school THEY chose, not the single sex one Akito picked out. Equally this means we have to give some credit to Yuki for making the brave choice of defying his parents and Akito’s wishes by attending a mixed school, and Shigure (who continues to be the mastermind here) for goading Akito into allowing Kyo to also attend that school and not simply pay off the private school he was MEANT to attend and have them let him back in.
It’s also no real surprise that the two other Juunishi whose curses break before the final scene are Momiji and Hiro. Hiro is shown to be forming bonds outside of the Zodiac too. Not only has he matured enough that he is able to understand things from Tohru’s perspective now and has a relatively positive relationship with her, he ALSO becomes a Big Brother with a little sister he adores. Again, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that his curse breaks whilst he is in the same room as her. The Sheep has formed a meaningful relationship outside of the Zodaic, so it is time for the Sheep Spirit to return to its original realm. We then have Momiji, who is absolutely desperately in love with Tohru and is also equally desperate to be allowed to have a relationship with his OWN sister. Momiji’s curse breaks only after he has gone through puberty though and reaches adulthood. It’s when he starts to truly understand the path that is laid before him, and where he stands in it. He WANTS a relationship with Tohru, but he can also recognise that she is in love with Kyo and that makes it all the more painful. He knows that as he ages he is only going to be made to feel more distant from his sister, and that hurts too. HOWEVER, Momiji doesn’t ever stop LONGING for meaningful relationships and a world beyond the life of the Zodiac. He recognises that he does not have anything really tying him to the Sohma anymore, and so his curse breaks. The rabbit spirit has no need to be part of the banquet, and so heads home.
Now, as you can see, whilst Tohru is a key trigger in the breaking of the curse, she’s still not the one to actively do it, right?
Well, wrong. Sort of.
Take note that when we’re told the ACTUAL story of the Original Banquet , we find that the Cat was the first friend God ever made, and was also the first to die. It was the death of the cat that triggered God into creating the eternal bond that would always bring them together, and it was the cat’s terror and dismay at being forced into such a bond that caused them to disown him. The cat has, all along, simply wanted God to make friends. The first who had the curse take effect upon them, was the one who rejectd it the most and as such was then shunned forever more. The cat wanted God to make bonds outside of the Zodiac, and in turn the cat was forever banned form making those bonds. Even though we’ve been show the Cat was granted some realtionships in the form of Kazuma’s Grandmother; it is a relationship made out of pitty rather than love and understanding.
Tohru though? Torhu is the God Damned (excuse the pun) Year of the Cat Fanclub PRESIDENT. Nobody loves and respects the OG Cat Spirit in the way she does. She emphasied with the Cat’s plight in the legend her mother told her, feeling sorry for them being tricked like that and being forced to miss out on being part of the legend. She wanted the cat to join the group! She cradled the cat’s body in much the same way God in his final moments, as instead this time Tohru brings him back into the light and forms a stronger and longer lasting relationship with the cat spirit through love and empathy.
And later on, in that same mountainside, it is TOHRU who is the one who reaches out her hand to god and asks to become friends. It is the act of God forming friends with mortal humans that triggers Akito/God to finally release everyone from their curse. That’s why it happens when it does, when Akito knows that Tohru is safely out of hospital, that she has still welcomed Akito into her life... and that if Akito is going to take those terrifying steps into forming relationships that can end in rejection, she’s going to have to do it on her own two feet.
THAT is how Tohru breaks the curse. THAT is what is important here and what is so FUCKING HARD ROCK about Tohru Honda. We see her willing to stand up to GOD in order to break the curse, but she stands before God as an EQUAL. Tohru WILL break the curse. She WILL fight for her soulmate. She WILL make you be friends with her and address your deep seated issues of self hate and abandonment (not that she has those issues herself ahahahha no I’m just your average happy go lucky teenager with two dead parents who lives in a tent I’M FINE)
Of course, it turns out that everything Shigure and Kazuma told her about breaking the curse was true: That she didn’t have to do anything other than to continue to be herself. HOWEVER, in order to BE herself she needed to try and have a “silly adventure” where she tested her metal and learnt to speak up for herself. Why are we excited? Because we’re going to see Tohru finally find the confidence to speak out against others without harm! We see her get into a fight with Rin about it. We see her refusing to back down against Kagura. We see her standing on her own two feet and saying “No. No I don’t want that. I REFUSE to give in and to leave well alone!”
All before, Tohru has been so scared to speak up for herself because of her debilitating abandonment issues (and please let’s not make fun of people’s mental health issues, okay? I haven’t been having a weekly therapy session for nearly two years now just because for the fun of it) but now she’s got to the point where she feels comfortable and secure enough to show an uglier side to herself that people might reject. She is able to be mean, and shout, and fucking break into someone’s house in order to get what she wants! How can a TRUE fruits basket fan NOT be excitd for that level of character development?
And to end it, please, for the LOVE OF GOD it is 2020. I am 26 years old. I have been on tumblr since 2011. Do not send me hate about female fictional characters and expect me to roll over. My username is “Mrs Mary Morstan”. Mary. Morstan. The most hated female character in all of BBC Sherlock. Do not even try to fucking test me, you Petri Dish.
#Fruits Basket#Furuba#Furuba Manga Spoilers#Tohru Honda#Akito Sohma#The Curse#The Juunishi#Anonymous#greatest hits
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