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#if 11 year old saw me now …
dolliiy · 6 months
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i want a creepy, unnerving but charming and kind entity who hides in the shadows all day until nightfall and then emerges from the corner of my room and whispers how much he missed his favourite little one and picks me up and holds me in his slender and inhumanly long arms as if i’m a cat and strokes my hair with his clawed fingers and rocks me to sleep while his black void-like eyes watch over me and protect me.
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fandoms-spamdom · 2 months
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Aight guys gonna sound crazy but I have a fragment of a memory
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cosmicrhetoric · 11 months
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why am i crying. this is a filler and im on my lunch break
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mrfoox · 2 years
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The fact I refuse to confront/inform the people who have basically ruined my mental state and my ability to function bc that would make them feel bad is honestly bonkers
#miranda talking shit#I cant say id be having a good and normal life if i wasnt abused as a young child but im 90% sure I'd not have this must trouble#Id still have my autistic and add problems but my anxiety and depression would definitely be a lot better#Its... Insane. That my older brothers probably have no idea how much they have actually ruined my life/mental state from such an earlh age#As 4 yrs old... Hell they might not even remember it or even think it was a 'big deal'. I know my second oldest brother probably falls into#The latter. I know now that they both most likely have undiagnosed adhd/autism and they used me as a way to act out/feel better#But being told youre stupid. Fat. Ugly. Useless from the age of 4 like... I cant stress how much it have ruined my self image#Ive tried to build confidence in myself and love myself since my teens and i can barely say im 'avarge' without doubting it#Like they also hit me but that's nothing compared to the mental torture i had to go through on an almost daily basis#Funniest thing is that bc it happened/started when i was so young i didnt think it was... Bad or weird or abnormal.#I started crying when my parents told me to go tell my brothers it was dinner time. I was terrified of knocking on their doors#I still to this day 20 years later am still incredibly uncomfortable and anxious talking with them and i havent been able to make much of#An relationship with them bc of it. Im scared to say anything to them even if its simple shit. And men/boys in general ive thus been#Terrified of since i was young. Once again i thought it was normal to mistrust and be scared of men until i was in my teens#I wish i could hate them i wish i could be angry i wish i had someone to blame#But no my brain is too nice and give excuses to them. Their actions are excused. They have ruined me mentally but thats not their fault#Fuck that might be true but they were still 6 and 11 years older than me. I didnt have a chance to protect myself in any way#I wish someone saw i wasnt okay. I wish someone understood that i wasnt well. I wish someone saw me.#Negative#Abuse
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demadogs · 2 years
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i hope the don’t add s3xual scenes between the kids when they are 17…. 😟
no theres no way theyd do that. i know in s1 they did with nancy and steve when those characters were like 16/17 and all the kid actors are nearing the ages that the older actors were when they started the show, but its just different for the kids. we’ve seen them at age 11. even if theyre 20 now, we still consider the characters and the actors as the kids of the show and itd just be so fucking wrong to have any sexual scenes with any of the younger couples even though theyve grown up. maaaaybe theyd do something that kinda suggests that they mightve done something else but they wouldnt have a whole scene for it like they did with nancy and steve.
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stpuaafamg · 2 years
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EXCUSE ME NERDS! WHY DID NONE OF YOU TELL ME THAT THERE WAS A RISE OF THE GUARDIANS BOOK SERIES!?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW- CAN YOU EVEN BEGIN TO FATHOM HOW MUCH THAT MOVIE MEANT TO ME!?! THIS WAS THE MOVIE THAT GOT ME INTO FANFICTION BECAUSE I WANTED TO EXPERIENCE MORE OF IT! AND NO ONE THOUGHT TO TELL ME IT HAD A BOOK SERIES??? I AM SHOOKETH!
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outlying-hyppocrate · 2 years
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JESUS FUCK. AN 11 YEAR OLD CHILD HAS A CRUSH ON ME
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malkaviian · 1 year
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i am having a great time here on life dot com
#/s#i only ate a scrambled egg today; i couldnt finish it and i feel sick#something else happened today that just showed how this girl is even more manipulative. how did you turned out like this.#or maybe you were ALWAYS like this and youre just showing your true nature now? how i didnt realized this before? we were friends for years#and honestly at this point i would say whatever ruin your life; nobody is going to stay that long around you like we did.#but you have A WHOLE ASS CHILD. A 4 NEARLY 5 MONTHS OLD BABY THAT DEPENDS TOTALLY ON YOU!!!!#STOP BEING SO SELFISH!!!! AT LEAST THINK ABOUT THE SON YOU CLAIM TO LOVE!!!!#maybe im exaggerating but i feel betrayed by someone i saw as a sister + i saw her son as a nephew.#i already lost a 11 years friendship last year why is this happening to me again. and is ending in a horrible way#sorry that the rest of the group dared to still do friend stuff even after you became a mom and thus became unable to do certain things now#i *get* it; you feel envious. but we cant stop our lives just because YOURS changed. we told you multiple times we love you and your son#we love when you bring him with you because we love him; and two of us dont even like kids that much. we were excited the whole pregnancy#we supported you because we can imagine how difficult being a young; single mom is. we did that because youre important#but we committed the horrible sin of doing things without you; because you yourself said you couldnt and/or dont want to go#we committed the horrible sin of still being friends with each other and eventually bring in another friend#whom we tried for you to get along; but it didnt happened and were in the wrong for still hanging out with him.#we tried to talk about you feeling excluded from the group; but you only told us 'i dont know'; because if you directly said#'i dont like that you three have a social life together without me even when im literally unable to follow your steps now because im a mom'#you would sound extremely selfish. and you know what? you are. i get missing the stuff youre not able to do now being a mom; its normal#but its not a fucking excuse to try to destroy the rest of the group. i love how youre pretending to be the victim in this case#by saying 'oh [x] said she felt uncomfortable with me she doesnt want to be friends with us anymore :((' when its not what happened#she said the problem is YOU; not the rest of us. she told you the problems she has with you; we saw the fucking convo#and youre twisting her words to make her look like the attacker. plus trying to make us think she also wants to stop being friends with us?#literally not whats happening. you think were just going to take your word anyway and not ask her about it?#even when breaking a friendship out of nowhere is pretty important? were just going to go 'oh [x] is a bitch' without asking anything.#also we know now she has been your punching bag for so long. we saw convos and your recent attitude towards her confirm it.#anyway youre a fucking selfish manipulator who cares about things going her way only. and were seeing it now#well; i guess at least it means were aware of your true nature; even if we feel betrayed for how long you pretended towards us#things are going downwards and is literally your fault#negative
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yourfavtoenail · 2 years
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Me one day on my way home from school after binging only seasons 1-2 of Stranger Things:
my brain: ok but Will and Mike seem kinda cute…my brains probably being weird again. Might as well check.
*opens phone and types*
Byler pops up
Me:
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rovermcfly · 2 years
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"why do you, a 26 year old, care about the high school musical show for kids"
I grew up being obsessed with hsm and now I need to heal my inner child by watching an hsm with gay and autistic people in it. next question.
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youremyonlyhope · 1 year
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#the urge to buy a last minute ticket to starkid's jingle ball that is literally sunday aka tomorrow since it's past midnight#is very strong right now since some posts of people's experiences at the first show are coming in#and it's making me nostalgic#i wasn't planning to go because i don't yet feel comfortable going to concerts#i barely feel comfortable seeing theatre but at least everyone's just sitting there#rather than standing up and singing along and maybe jumping and dancing too#feels too risky#but also. starkid. my loves.#but also. money. and covid. and the flu. and rsv. and general colds.#i'll decide by tomorrow. there's still tickets available. i almost hope it sells out so the universe decides for me.#right now it's like 75% i will not go because covid and lots of people and money. but 25% i wanna see my starkids.#it's funny because last week i was thinking back to my mindset when i saw starkid concerts as a teenager#(because space tour at the same venue was 11 years ago last week and my facebook memories were INTENSE)#(i really just posted like 10 times a day for at least 3 days after the concert STILL freaking out about it. oh 15 year old Hope)#and i was like 'yeah i've calmed down since then. i'm not the girl who will lose her voice at a starkid concert.'#but seeing the few pictures i was like 'aww... starkid concerts... nostalgia...' but like... i've seen them live 4+ times#and yet. i have a feeling Darren's gonna show up. because i noticed that it is coincidentally one of the dates he's not doing his solo show#so that's another reason towards going. but also. do i want to be around people? not really.#hmmmmmm#it's funny that Britney Coleman going on for Bobbie in Company was what made me go back to seeing live theatre again#and now starkid may be what gets me to see concerts again. if you want me to do something it has to be starkid related apparently.
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lesbianpegbar · 8 months
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ohhhhhh nico di angelo you are so fucked up
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freytful · 1 year
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Being visibly queer rules. Today i met an old friend i hadn’t talked to since middle school and our spiderman meme “Oh!! Youre also gay now!!” reactions without actually saying it were so perfect
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#im starting to hate one of the pharmacist at my pharmacy#he took care of my prescriptions twice now and it was terrible each time#he takes quite a lot of time compared w the other pharmacist which is okay but last time it got on my nerves#bc i left home at 11:45 to go to the doctor she was late as usual when i came back at like 14h i went for some groceries it took 20min tops#then i went to the pharmacy. and it took me at the very least 30/40min. i wanted to pee. i was hungry. him being the longest dude ever was#too much#i know pharmacists are not that used to ritalin precriptions but he is especially long with it#i also needed new compression socks bc i made holes in quite afew my stock was low#twice i saw him for compression socks twice he had the most judgmental and 'wtf' look#my prescription is for 3 pairs#the 1st time he was like 'why do you need that ?' and i had to explain that i have circulatory problems my dude i dont wear that for fun#these issues can be at any age it's not bc im 25 that i dont need them#and each time he's like 'THREE pairs ? for free ?' well yes my dude that's called social security you should know it#there's no 'free only after 50 years old' stamp on compression socks#also this stuff seem sturdy but is quite thin i punch hoels in them i wear them every day#AND to finish well#i also needed a wrist brace (yes my body is saying fuck you at the moment)#i went to the pharmacy a few weeks ago needing one and a pharmacist told me she didnt have the good ones rn and they were expensive#and to come back w a prescription so it'll be free#so i did ! and the dude gave me the cheap basic one they had. and it's hurting me more than it's helping me.#now my prescription is used so i'll pay for one.#w the lady before me he barely knew how to check if smthg is covered by social security or not#(also he's not a young starting pharmacist i think he's in his fifties ?)#he just feels incompetent compared w the other pharmacists#i actually had to remind him to write the references of the boxes of ritalin on the prescription before scanning ut#bc last time he forgot and when i went back to pick it up another pharmacist told me that was an issue for them#he judges me too much i dont like that#also bc of all these delays i got home at 3:15 i still hadnt eaten i ate and then i was too late to start working on my thesis#bc of my 'decompression' time i would only work for a short time and didnt know what to do in a short timz
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writingoddess1125 · 9 months
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The old men of One Piece finding out they have a child with you.
Shanks, Buggy, Mihawk X FemReader
Healthy mix of Angst and Fluff.
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Part 2
Buggy
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"You two get your asses down now!" You yelled, trying to stop the two blue haired boys from destroying the restaurant further. Your two identical twins sons where only 11 years old but they were trouble- Double Trouble as everyone called them. Benny and Danny, who had given themselves the Nicknames of Bee and Dee- cause of course they did.
It wasnt just their dramatic tendencies, destructive nature or lack of volume control that made them silkar to a know pirate but also their appearance Who was non other then- Buggy the Clown. While they did lack the trademarked rounded red nose. They did get almost everything else- Long nlue locks, watercolor eyes and that crooked smile of theirs- it really wasn't fair how your genes didn't even have a chance-
It hasn't exactly been your best of moments when you conceived your children- Having been a performer on the famous pirate ship you ended up sleeping with your Captian one night on his Silly Throne. A few weeks later you started to feel unwell and realized you had been pregnant. In a moment of panic you fled the ship the next time it docked- Running from your Crew and Captian to never be seen again.
Once realizing you were on your own. You did what you could to make a living- opening a flashy little restaurant and using it to raise your two trouble makers. Dee running past you with a giggle snapped you from your thoughts, frowning as you set down your customers order infront of them before following the boy.
"Mom Mom! Look!" Bee yelled as he stood on one of the tables pointing out the window of the restaurant at the open ocean, Dee taking his place next to his twin. You walked closer to see what your son was looking at, the fog being thick that night as you tried to focus on what he was seeing.
Squinting your eyes you finally saw it- a Ship. As your eyes focused you saw the Jolly Roger and gasped, Ice feeling like it ran through your vain. You grabbed the boys quickly and backed away from the window. As if on cue the alarms set to alert that pirates had arrived. The sounds of canons hitting the town soon peirced through the alarms and the whole town erupted in chaos. You rush from the windows to the back of your restaurant.
Rushing down the stairs you knew Buggy and the crew would level the town to ashes. The best place to hid being the cellar, while it was small it would hopefully keep you and your boys safe. "Mom what's happening!?" Dee cried as he did his best to keep up with your fast pace. You didn't bother responding as you rushed to the old underground cellar lifting the rug and opened its little door.
"Mom I don't want to go down there!" Bee cried as you lowered him in the cellar first, Dee following soon after as you tried to sooth them.
"I know I know my loves, But do as I say- Stay quiet and-"
You paused as you heard the sound of crashing from out in the dining room followed by screams. Quickly you climbed in with your boys and lowered the wooden door of the cellar above you and frantically tried to place the rug so it fell onto it before plunging you and your sons in darkness.
You sat there shaking, holding your boys close to your chest as you heard the sound of someone walking towards you. Your hands shaking as you held them closer, feeling the moisture of your sons tears soaking into your dress.
You heard the sound of footsteps starting to search the room above you. Previously looking for valuables or anything interesting-
"Captian! I found the liquor!" The voice above you called out, Clearly grabbing the cases of rum that sat in the room above. Heavier footsteps followed into the room, hearing the cackle that made your skin stand up on end.
"Grab it all and whatever people you can find! We have a show tonight afterall!" You heard Buggy voice sound. The crew mate clearly rushing out with the cases while Buggy remained. You heard him turn through the room, ready to leave before his heavy steps landed on the cellar door above you it's old wood groaning at the weight. Your eyes widened as you realized you'd been caught, Without time to react the door was ripped open and you couldn't help but release a scream.
Buggy- In his hands you see his signature blades as he grinned down in the cellar. Reaching down and grabbing you by the hair and yanking you out-
"A new audience memeber!- wait" He raised an eyebrow as he held you up higher by your hair and looked over your crying face. His eyes looking over your face. "I know you... (Y/N)?" He asked questionably before his eyes shot to see a flash of blue dart at him and kick him as another one came to try and pull you from his grasp.
"Let her go!" "LEAVE OUR MAMA ALONE!" Your boys desperately screamed as they weakly tried to attack the man holding you. Buggy dropping you quickly as he stared down at the three of you, You quickly pulling the boys away from him and behind you.
A awkward silence following this as Buggy released a shaky breath before laughing loudly. A insane laugh that had him doubled over, before looking at you again with crazed eyes. A few crew members coming into the room after hearing their Captian laugh, especially at the sight of you, their former crewmate and two boys that looked like their Captian.
"Freaks, Take these three and lock them in my personal Quarters. We got a family reunion!"
Shanks
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"Mommy I have Missy Luc-ia ready!" You heard your daughter call out. Setting out the freshly frosted cupcake, onto the countertop, that she was just barely taller then. Smiling down at the bright face before you- She may be only 4 but she was the sweetest girl.
"Thank you Vivian. Can you grab the order list for Mommy?" You ask, getting an exaggerated nod and running off. Her mess of bright red hair bouncing with each step. A little clone of her dad, The famed Shanks 'Red Hair' a former fling of yours.
It had been a nice little relationship you two shared, him coming by every other week to meet with you when his ship restocked. Buying random pastries you knew he bought to get close to you, always complimenting your Baking skills and sweetness. Which ended up to many passionate nights both in your own bed and on Shanks ship. The last time you met, Shanks told you he had to go for a while and didn't know if he's return. Tears shed as you watched him set sail- having the feeling you'd never see him again.
As if the gods had sympathy for you or wanted to use you as a cruel joke you fell pregnant. Giving birth to your daughter who ended up being a Shanks part 2. A giggly and happy baby with unique red hair, while she was a perfect mix of the two of you in terms of face she inherited Shank's smile, hair and eye shape.
As you packed the poorly frosted cupcake that your daughter had made. Ignoring the fingerprints in its frosting- you hit it in the back of the fridge you'd never tell her you couldn't sell it since she had eaten part of her work and replaced it with the true finishes product to be delivered.
As you finished your packing you heard the bell of your bakery door chime.
"Welcome to the Sweet treats bakery, how can I help yo-" the words froze to your lips as you saw Shanks. Eyes wide at seeing him again, it was clear he had delt with some serious wear and tear by how the world seemed to settle on his shoulders a bit more.
"(Y/N) long time no see" He said softly as he stared at you, mentally still trying to process what you were seeing. He stepped forward, Looking ready to explain himself away before the sound of tiny footsteps drew him in- Seeing the little girl holding a notepad with all your orders and running to you. Out of muscle memory you scooped your daughter and placed her on your hip, she smiled at you and held the order book out to you again which you gingerly took.
"Here you go Mommy!" She chimed, Looking at you as she noted your shocked face. Her gaze following the now shocked man, He looked like a breeze could knock him down as he stared at her then you then her again.
"Shes mine isn't she?" Shanks asked, his eyes never leaving the little girl on your hip. Vivian looking at Shank's then you confused at what was taking place. Before you could respond however it seemed Shank's answered his own question. Laughing loudly in utter joy and jumping forward towards you, scaling the countertop like it wasn't even there and crashed his lips against yours happily.
"Ha! I'm a Dad!!" He cheered, Taking his one arm around you and starting to spin you and Vivian who at first was scared. But hearing the giggles from the man started to as well- the two even laughed the same which made the Red Haired man even happier.
"Y-Yes Shanks. She is yours...This is Vivian" You said softly, watching Shanks lean in close to view his daughter. It was like he had found the most amazing treasure in the world and it shone in his eyes.
"Vivian, Such a beautiful name for the most beautiful girl in the world" He said in awe, earning a shy smile from Vivian.
"Vi, This is... this is your Daddy" You say softly, watching Vivian look up at you then back at Shanks. Hesitant at first before holding out her arms tk him, taking the opportunity he scooped her up in his single arm and held her close. Tears welling up in his eyes as he looked at her delicate face, her chubby little fingers touching his face and looking over him.
"You're my Daddy?" She asked innocently. A smile breaking over Shanks face as he nodded and held her close, tears pouring down his face.
"That's right baby girl- I'm your Daddy"
Mihawk
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It had been 16 long years since you had laid eyes on Mihawk- a simple one night stand that had long consequences that followed. Your son, your beautiful baby boy who you named Alucare.
It had been at a bar, the two of you drinking and simply talking. Before one thing lead to another in the alleyway next to the bar- You truthfully cringed at the thought of how embarrassing it was to be undone by a few nice words, a charming warlord and some drinks.
"Mother, which one did you want?" Your son asked, snapping you from your thoughts pointing to the fishmongers selection, his emotionless face like a carbon copy of his father's.
Truthfully he looked too much like his damn father- same yellow eyes, black hair, very tall form, stoic face the only thing missing was the facial hair Which you thanked The Gods for since you didn't think you could stare at your one night stands face forever. Alucare did have some differences, he had your nose as well as kept his hair longer. The thick spicy locks hitting the center of his back which you helped him care for. But truthfully that was really it-
You also knew that other people would star long at your boy, a few times Marines having come up to see your son when he was walking to school or going to the market. He knew who his father was, having Marines who had seen him in battle tell him as much. However he never seemed to care, just giving them a frosty look that made them back away before leaving. Whenever you'd brought up the topic of His father he often would sit quietly for a few moments before saying he wasn't interested in such a conversation which you respected.
"Hmm, that one is fresher-" You say sweetly as your boy grabs the fish and plops it in the basket, Handing the merchant the berries.
Always the gentleman he would take your arm in his as the two of you walked. He would hold the heavier baskets and give you only bread or a small bag of fruit. He was too kind as a child, you felt bad at times at how his eyes seemed to know the struggles you had faced when he was born and tried to help you out now that he was older besides your persistence.
"Alucare, I heard from your teachers yoh got very high marks again. Do you want to celebrate? Maybe a nice dinner is in order? Or-"
"It's just a test Mother. No need for so much trouble" He said softly, giving a hint of a smile at his words. You chuckled at him and shook your head. Stubborn too.
You felt your son stop midstep- Glancing up at him as his face turned to stone before your eyes.
"Honey?" You call to him, before following his gaze at what had caught his attention. Across the market a dark figure stood, You immediately felt your heart drop to your stomach as you knew instantly who it was- Mihawk standing there with the same stoic expression as Alucare but his eyes seemed to be a bit wider. Most likely the closest to shock that could come over his face-
You tugged slightly to turn back, not wanting to create a accidental scene but your son clearly had other plans. Instead starting to walk again, His arm still holding yours as he kept his gaze at Mihawk. You expected Alucare to stop infront of Mihawk- a blowup or something but. No.
Alucare just walked past Mihawk- Like he wasn't even there. His face staying forward as no words passed. As you continued to walk you turned to look behind you where you saw Mihawk, he seemed to stagger on his feet like someone had finally peirced him with a blade.. but it seemed to be a invisible one to his heart.
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skk-fan-page · 2 months
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What does this:
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Mean in the context of skk, 15, stormbringer, and dazai acting like a lovesick puppy.
Well, the first thing I notice is that it's heavily implied that dazai didn't say shit and hasn't in his entire employment at the ada. Everyone talks about the mafia with a certain level of "hey I heard about you because my mom's dad's aunt's best friend's knitting club was talking about you and one of the members' dog's coparent said they saw you at Walmart."
Between akutagawa, higuchi, and now chuuya, it's like they know nothing that might help them with the mafia.
Why wouldnt yosano know though, she used to be mafia? Well that's what I thought at first too. I figured maybe rumors had just spread throughout the mafia in her time there.
But, at the same time, add up these numbers and then tell me if the math is mathing for yosano to know anything about chuuya
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Chuuya is 22 and joined when he was 15, meaning he joined 7 years ago. 14 years ago (11 when she finally escaped) means not only would she not have met him, he would've been 11 by the time she left.
Not only that, but she was an 11 year old child-doctor, which means she would've had no contacts in the Mafia and no friends to tell her anything.
And, most damning of all, in 15 phase.02 mori says this when asked about suribachi city.
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By the time chuuya was awakened, yosano was already out.
So maybe it's kyouka. But here's the thing: she doesn't seem to know shit outside of her (old) job description. She was in such an information silo that she didn't know what a crepe was. That makes her out of the picture for me, especially considering she was the subordinate of the subordinate of the boss's subordinate.
So that leaves 2 options: word on the street, and dazai.
If I can get information on the second highest ring of your underground murder organization by asking around, your organization is getting shit on by the feds in 4 seconds flat.
So that leaves one option: dazai.
But he doesn't seem to be much of a sharer, so why would he share about mafia things? Well we have precedent for it.
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There's this incident, proving he's totally chill with sharing about the mafia. And then, there's something so gay it will make you want to claw your eyes out and join the witness protection program to get away from how single you feel
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I wish someone would look at me the way dazai looks at chuuya's corruption form. And he's even bragging about him and how cool and powerful he is.
Regardless, this proves that he does totally talk about chuuya when he's not listening, and that he's not the inscrutable clamshell of a man he pretends to be.
Now: the other implication. Chuuya just assumes dazai was talking about him, meaning this was a pattern in the past. We can see this pattern manifest in the party that dazai tries to throw in 15, as well as the fact that ango knows chuuya in dead apple.
How many times do you think dazai genuinely set up challenges for chuuya back in his mafia days, to the point where upon being recognized, his first thought is "dazai did this."
Just put a ring on it already guys.
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