There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
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Screaming, crying, thrashing on the floor at Atsushi's bewilderment and disbelief he's precious to Akutagawa, the one guy he's supposed to hate because Akutagawa was horrible to Kyouka and it seemed like that wouldn't change but that black and white mentality that people are only bad or only good is starting to crack. And now Atsushi's chasing after Akutagawa in hopes to wake that small silver of a heart he saw in Ryuu, a reverse of the situation they had been. Their relationship is changing. Their dynamic is shifting to a sense of mutual trust and I'm just, please please please please don't give them a bad ending Asagiri please--
I KNOWWWW like Akutagawa's sacrifice being the push Atsushi needed to overcome his prejudices at last was something I always liked to dwell on but never would have dared to hope would have actually happened in canon. But now thanks to the last chapter it's become a real possibility, and I still can't believe it!!!!! If anything Atsushi being so immediate to believe Akuatagawa wouldn't hurt him is. Wow. Greatest character development in history like can you believe it??? Look at where they started look at where they are!!!!!! I'm staining the chapter with the tears falling from my eyes. The “sskk endless angst because Atsushi is going to see anything in Akutagawa beyond a ruthless monster” era is officially over love is real and it's stored in the way Atsushi says “Akutagawa! It's me! Can't you tell!”. Just–
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Thinking about someone i blocked that bothered me for about two monthsish last year bc they kept messsging me underhanded or backhanded comments abt literally anything i did on this site, specifically they liked to attack my lack of understanding of the basics of art and that i clearly didnt study the classics enough (??? What are those? This is subjective?) and i wonder if they’re happier this year i gotta commend them for not doing this behind anon, ballsy tbh but unwarranted
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It's Pride this weekend (I don't know why but it's always in August here) and I've skipped every event so far, but I'm still debating about going to the parade. I just am not feeling it... Every year I get more and more irritated about the whole situation and how it's been increasingly catering to everyone but gay people (and at the expense of us), but I've always still gone to at least the parade and maybe another event. It feels really sad to skip it entirely tbh because I've gone every year (aside from the one year it was canceled because of COVID) since I was in high school, but it's just deeply disappointing to see what it has become...and I've been feeling that so acutely lately :(
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Question is it normal to end Christmas with a bad taste in your mouth and spend half of Boxing day on the verge of tears in your 20s? Like is that just part of growing up or am I making a big deal over nothing
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