Holy fuck TSA exists in the Chowder universe...that means 9/11 happened in Chowder 0_0

this post about vocabulary and reading also reminded me: when i was in high school i bought The Three Musketeers in German, because I’d already read it like a dozen times in Finnish and once in English and I wanted to try if I’d understand anything at all in German. it was such a fun experience because, no, I did not understand much per se, I understood maybe half of the words on a page. but at the same time, I’d read the book so many times before that I knew what was going on, and I ended up following it just fine :’D and I did learn some new words, too! 

we also had this course in high school where we read childrens books in different languages. like the same exact book (we read Mauri Kunnas, can recommend :D) in Finnish, Swedish, German and English, and then we compared the translations. it was one of the most interesting things I’ve ever done because the translations were different, they emphasized very different things (and the Swedish ones often came up with stuff that wasn’t even in the source material lmao). 

same with when I read The Gods Themselves in English for the first time after only having read it in Finnish (...several times lol) before. I have this favorite part in the book and I was waiting and waiting for it and ... then realized I’d missed it. the English text had other parts I loved and felt impactful but that particular one that I’d always treasured in Finnish? I didn’t even properly notice it in the English one.

just. languages, man! languages! 

they are going 2 dismantle the establishment

8 years ago, 5 years ago, now

2014 vs 2017 vs 2022

i always draw. just this one outfit ???

.

THE BACKLOG HAS REACHED TWO MONTHS GOOD GOD

Gotta love anxiety.

It's been so bad that I have managed to convince myself that anyone and everyone in my life wants nothing to do with me, finds me tedious, and is purposely distancing themselves so they don't have to deal with me.

I don't remember the last time I wasn't anxious.

I don't remember the last time I wasn't convinced everyone in my life is fucking done with me and wants me to leave them alone. That everyone finds me annoying and boring and stupid and useless and thinks I'm a loser and wishes they'd never met me.

I don't remember the last time my chest didn't hurt. Or that I wasn't scared to talk to someone. Anyone.

hello here's some of my poems lately that im not gonna bother posting on my art blog

dear diary,

i think it's getting worse again. i had hoped for this feeling to never return, but once again my days seem darker, everything i do seems fruitless and without a purpose, and i barely have enough energy to function.

i had almost forgotten what it's like, to have to fight to get out of bed in the morning. to have to whisper encouragements to yourself so you don't give up on what you're doing mid-task. there's a grey fog behind my eyes that seems to suck up all of my emotions, and though i try my hardest to recall the happiness of the past few months, i can feel the inevitable decline in the weariness of my bones.

i am getting tired again.

hehehe guys i have a new name and i like it very much hehe *kicks feets gayly*

Got a clawdeen doll and spent too much time braiding her hair.

A world tour off the Hook! ft. DJ Sango and the NSS / A splatoon fanfiction

Chapter 1: A plan brewing

(Ten years since the events of Octo Expansion)

As the sun sets in the city of Inkopolis, two inklings walk down the darkening streets away from the old city centre, a once great hub for inklings, young and old, to meet and battle, now only a relic of a distant past, forgotten by time. But despite the grand legacy such a place had left in a city bustling with music and noise, it's quiet, a long, deafening quiet only broken by the steps of the couple. One, a tall, long-haired Octoling; the other, a small, short-haired Squidling; walking side by side, holding hands under the moonlight. They were the voices of their generation, Off the Hook's very own Marina Ida and Pearl Houzuki, who changed the world around them with their music and fresh beats, a duo that oversaw the creation of a completely new future, one of acceptance, but also of chaos.

Soon, the two cephalopods reach their destination, standing in front of a doorway leading into a small house in the inner city, when Pearl turns to Marina, a sheepish look in her eyes, "So, ya ready?" she asked. Marina looked at her, puzzled, "Ready? Ready for what, Pearlie?", the Octoling wondered; this amused Pearl, who replied: "Yo, don't tell me you forgot what day it is!". Marina reflected for a second, "Ah, right! Today marks the 10 year anniversary of Agent 8 reaching the surface!", she quickly answered, a small hint of embarrassment in her voice. "Bingo!" exclaimed Pearl, with finger guns aiming at her partner, "Took ya long enough!". The Octoling chuckled, "I've been busy, you know, but I so didn't forget! I was meaning to call her when we got to the house! Though, that still doesn't answer my question, Pearlie, be ready for what, exactly?". The Squidling then approached the door, flashing a small smile to Marina, making her blush. "Well, I've got a small... present, for ya." Pearl adds as she pushes her key into the lock. "Present? what do you mean by that?" Marina asks, even more confused than before. The door gives a small clicking sound, signalling it has been unlocked, Pearl turns to Marina as she reaches the handle, "This oughta answer it for ya!" she exclaims and she pushes the door open, revealing inside a tired-looking Octoling, sitting in the stairs with her phone in her hand, looking at the duo in shock, like a deer in headlights. "Sup' Agent 8!" Pearl says as she crosses the threshold of the house, Marina behind her, a shocked expression running across her face.

Before she could even utter a word, Marina dashes towards the agent and holds her in a tight hug, tears forming in her eyes. "Rei!" She exclaims, as she tightens her hold, "It's been so long!". 8, not knowing how to properly reciprocate such show of affection, looks towards Pearl pleadingly, seemingly looking for advice on how to deal with the situation; Pearl just shrugs it off as she closes the door and heads into the kitchen, forcing the agent to awkwardly pat Marina as she regains her composure. "Ah, sorry, I just missed you is all, welcome back." Marina adds, a motherly tone in her voice, like she wasn't bawling her eyes out 5 seconds ago. This, however, completely eludes the agent, who almost seems to be on the verge of tears herself, having not been with the closest thing she's ever had to a mother figure in years.

Despite not being too different in terms of age, Marina had reached the Surface long before Agent 8 did, already being a world renowned DJ by the time Rei arrived at the Kamabo Deep Sea Metro, taking the Agent in after the defeat of the NILS statue and commander Tartar, acting almost like a mom along with her lifelong partner and soon-to-be wife, Pearl while the Octoling got accustomed to her new life in the surface, away from the grasps of the Octarian army and The Telephone. Shortly thereafter, Rei would officially join the New Squidbeak Splatoon as it's first Octarian member, accompanying her companions, Agents 3 and 4 to scout the Splatlands, a wasteland far from Inkopolis and far too different from anything she had ever seen, which had led her to grab her stuff and depart on a journey across the world, meeting new people, creating new experiences and learning what it truly meant to be free. When she came back from her trips a few years later, she would go on and off different missions for the NSS, which limited her encounters with the Off the Hook to measly phone calls and texts, not really seeing each other in person for almost 8 years.

As Marina released Rei from the hug, the agent lunged forward to hug her back, which pleased the older Octoling, "I was passing through the neighbourhood when Pearl sent me a message telling me to go inside and wait for you guys." The agent answered, prompting Pearl to peak her head from the kitchen, "Ha, yeah, lol! I noticed she made a post on her Splatnet about being back in Inkopolis, so I left my key by the door and messaged Rei to come! We were lucky you were nearby or someone else could've gotten the key!" Pearl exclaims with a lighthearted laugh, although the last sentence didn't quite seem to please Marina, who glared at her wife for even thinking leaving the key out in the open was a good idea, which makes Pearl retreat back into the kitchen. "Well..." the Agent continues, her shyness being as evident as ever, "I also really missed you guys, and...", she says as she gets up, thinking of what to say without sounding totally awkward, "It's been a while since I've been back in Inkopolis, and my next mission isn't in a while, so I was wondering if I maybe co-" but before she can finish her sentence, she is cut off by Marina, "Say no more, you can use your old room, right Pearlie?" she says with a small chuckle. Pearl then chimes in from kitchen: "No..." she exclaims while pausing for dramatic effect, "Problem Rei!", she starts laughing as Marina runs into the kitchen to scold her. A few seconds of playful fighting later, Pearl once again peeks from the kitchen: "Don't ya worry 'bout a thing, 8! This place is just as yours as it is mine and 'Rina's!" Pearl adds, leaving the kitchen to talk to the agent directly, she leans into the doorframe before continuing, "Although, you're gonna have to help me move some stuff around, we've been using your room as a sorta storage for our music equipment, you know? It's pretty cramped in there.".

Despite being happy to hear that, those last words confuse Rei, who can't help but ask, "Storage, what do you mean storage?", she asks as Marina leaves the kitchen, a tray of cups on hand, "Are you not using your music equipment anymore?", she finally adds, Pearl and Marina look at each other, thinking of what to say. "Well..." Marina then answers, "After Splatsville's Deep Cut went full on mainstream and basically took over the world, we thought it was as good a moment as any to retire Off the Hook to focus on..." She trails on, seemingly pondering how to finish her answer, "...Other stuff". The vagueness of Marina's answer and the unsureness of her body language only accentuate 8's confusion, "Other stuff? Like what?", she wonders, although she fully respected and supported whatever decision they might make, she couldn't help but feel her heart drop at the news revealed to her, after all, she owed her life to them and Off the Hook's music. "I've started getting back to engineering, designing new stages and weapons! As for Pealie, well, she still rides Off the Hook's bandwagon, selling merch, doing interviews and all that kinda stuff, it all happened a while ago anyway, it's just a fact of life now." Marina finally reveals, when Pearl, who had gone back into the kitchen to help her partner set up the tea table, chimes in from inside the kitchen: "Originally, we wanted to do a special, custom Splatfest to decide what to do with the band, you know? But after Inkopolis News changed locations, we didn't have enough..." She reappears in the kitchen doorway, signing air quotes with her hands, "Influence" She says as she sits next to 8, who still seems to have a hard time processing the info that has just been given to her. "So we just left it to Rock, Paper, Scissors and the rest is history!" She concludes as she pats the agent on her back, "I'm not mad, far from it! It's actually been real nice to take a break from the spotlight! Even if we still get the urge to go on stage from time to time, but hey, what ya gonna do right?" Marina nods in agreement as Pearl and her go back and forth from the kitchen, grabbing different plates and utensils for tea time.

Rei, still surprised at the retirement of Off the Hook, sits on the staircase, deep in thought, when she lights up, "Well, what if... you could do both at the same time?" she ponders, yet there is no immediate answer, instead, Pearl simply asks, "Help me out here, would ya?" Rei agrees and the three finish setting up the small tea table in the living room when the water starts boiling, Marina retreats into the kitchen to fetch the kettle as 8 and Pearl get comfortable. Marina then returns with the kettle, pouring the water into three different mugs and adding tea bags to each, before sitting and handing the other two their drinks. "So" Pearl starts, looking at the agent, "What'd ya mean by that?" she finally asks as 8 drinks her tea. Rei subtly smiled, she thought they didn't hear her, but they were just wanting to get comfortable before continuing. "Well, you both said you miss going on stage, right?" she begins, the duo drinking and listening, "And Pearl, Marina mentioned you sold Off the Hook merch, do you enjoy marketing?", she asks as she turns towards the Squidling, who just nods and says "Well, I dunno if I'd call it enjoyment, but I guess I find it rather interesting, one of the few things I picked up from my old man.", inciting the agent to keep going, a determined look forming on her face, "And you, Marina, you said you were getting back to engineering, did you not?" she says, turning towards the Octoling. "I guess I always had a knack for it, was called a prodigy by the Octarian army way back when" Marina admits, which prompts Rei to gleefully smile, her plan neatly falling into place, as she delivers to finishing blow. "Well, what if..." she pauses for dramatic effect, which makes Pearl smile, "you made a business out of it? Maybe stage making or even weapon manufacturing! Marina makes 'em and Pearl sells 'em!".

The two inklings look taken aback by the proposal, an idea so simple it might just work, but after a few silent seconds of reflection, they seem enthusiastic, if not a bit cautious on how to word their response. Marina then finally breaks the silence, "It's not a bad idea, but...", Pearl follows up her wife's train of thought, knowing exactly what she'd say, "Y'see, Off the Hook retired on the Down Low, not even an interview or announcement, we just, fizzled out, it seems like a done deal now, but if were to just, reappear and act like nothing happened or changed would definitely cause some controversy". As Pearl finishes uttering those words, a thin veil of silence surrounds the table, only to be broken by the sounds of tea being drank. Rei, who until then was quietly drinking her tea, gently places the empty mug back into the table, as the last parts of the plan have just fallen in place, all going accordingly. She then breaks the silence, with a solution so ambitious, it was sure to work out, "If backlash is the problem, then...", she says as she stands up, determination gleaming in her eyes, "You should do a final tour as a goodbye to Off the Hook!". The couple looks at each other, somehow it didn't seem that bad of an idea, after all, it would not only act as a proper sendoff to the once record-holding band, but also as a perfect excuse to get back into the spotlight doing the things they both enjoy, together. "So what about it?" Rei finally adds, a smug grin forming on her face, Pearl retaliates with a grin of her own, standing up and turning to Marina, "Well 'Rina? What'd ya think?" she asks her partner, extending an arm towards her. Marina grabs her wife's hand as she gets up, a smile so pure it could blind someone, "We're in!" Marina then says, turning towards the agent, with a newly found, yet fierce determination, before exclaiming out loud, "Off the Hook is going on tour!".

Fuck it, I’m going to post this here.

my mom knows all my main socials. so I can only post this here. no reposting anywhere else

I go downstairs for dinner (which is just ravioli), at the time I’m supposed to, and my mom accuses me of taking food from her closet. I had only been in her closet ONCE. ONCE. no more, no less. and that was the other day.

she says I’m getting fat

that I’m not losing weight.

that I’m just going to be 300 pounds, in a group home, with no job, etc.

and I… I’m half tempted to relapse to the few times (before I moved) that I cut myself.

I’ve done it before and I am willing to do it again.

she just makes me feel so worthless.

she gets over being mad at me so fast that I think there’s something wrong with her

idc what anyone says, anyone who likes me that’s not my actual family is my family now

It’s like I’m in my own personal hell 💅

so i think we all collectively agree that our creativity is based on all the things we love(d) throughout our life, right?

i can’t sleep, so i decided to go over all the games, animations, movies and books i loved dearly in my life and kind of analyze what i liked about them and how i can incorporate it in my own art (like personal symbols or smth, there’s a great episode of creative ted talks podcast on it!)

and i realized that i can’t remember A LOT. what was i watching on tv before i found out about anime? i read three books a week when i was in the middle school, but i can’t remember any of those? what movie that i saw as a kid had me hooked for months?

i do not remember and have a zero chance to find out :’)

and the thing is, i also do not have much of memories about my childhood. not even in bits and pieces, not in the flashes or snapshots. probably just few things that my mom and grandma repeatedly told me - like when one of my friends who was 2 years older than me believed that number 111 does not exist, but I knew it for sure even before we started counting over 100 in my school or smth. i was so proud of it but never became good at math

back to the topic. most of Me started in the middle school. and here’s where i can remember some things i loved, mostly because a lot of stuff from that time still were around when i graduated high school and entered university. i still had disks of my favorite games, books that i read, some dvds with the anime that my uncle-nerd gave me.

and this should’ve been enough, but i know there’s more to me. i feel the me-that-i-forgot has more connection to current me than that teenager that read ryu murakami without supervision - at the tender age of 13-14?? traumatizing.

i wonder who was my favorite before i felt the need to be mature? i’d probably love them still if i remembered

and i wonder how my art would be if i remembered all those things? what my ocs would be? right now they are wizards and knights, yes, and my favorite pieces of media are howl’s moving castle (both book and the movie), but maybe they’d be even more interesting to me myself if i knew my roots?

idk man that’s a hard thought process for 4 in the morning