So there are apparently no ocremixes of music from The Messenger or Sea of Stars. Criminal. Time to listen to the Secret of Mana remix album on repeat again, I guess.

I love this mix because it really does take a six chord source track and turn it into six minutes of pure, sweet, funky groove. And I still keep playing it on repeat because my brain deeply craves a 20 minute extended remix.

When the synths open up at 3:20 and then when the waawaa chorus hits at 3:50 it's *chef's kiss*. Glorious. Just- sink your teeth into that baseline, it's so good.

The entire Resonance of the Pure Land album is amazing actually, but I have a handful of personal faves that I always have to listen to on repeat a few times, and this is one of them.

I JUST GOT MY CoE!!!

(like just now now)

they still didn't tell me when my training date is, where my hotel is, when i can check in to the hotel, or APPARENTLY how long I'll be staying

(my contract says 1 year, but the CoE says 3years,, so idk what to put on the application , if they dont answer by Friday I'll just put 3years, then i wont get in trouble if i do renew the contract but it wont be an issue if i only stay 1 year)

im NOT buying another hotel if i can help it, SO i do wanna know when i can check into the training hotel so i can buy my plane ticket for that day and put that as the arrival date on the application, according to maps and reddit the shinkansen is only a few hours to the city i need to be in from the airport, so im taking that instead of doing a layover in japan,,

so i need to know WHEN i can check in so i can do the math to know WHAT flight to take, and since im technically losing a day across time zones, thats going to be hard for me since normal time math is ALREADY hard for me

i already have the passport photos, i already have the envelopes, i already made the shipping labels (just gotta print them), i already signed the disclaimer (gotta print), I already filled out the application minus those 2 things im not sure about (and gotta print),,

so my plan is to go to the library and print all the stuff at once, and sign it at the library, then go from there to the post office to drop it off, and then from there back home (shit has to be planned when you don't have a car and public transit only comes once every 2hrs)

the CoE is valid for 3 months from tonight, so im HOPING they want me there the last week of june or mid july so i can pack up my apartment, call my bank, get an esim card for my phone company (this is the only phone number I had my WHOLE LIFE and I don't wanna lose it so i MIGHT pay for international data to keep it), take care of my pets, break my lease unfortunately, get a transit card (apparently you can buy them online BEFORE going to Japan and have it shipped to you),

and quit my new job i JUST started last week unfortunately,, ive only done training so i dont even think i can put it on my resume, HOWEVER, i did pass CPR + baby CPR so i can put that on my resume if they have the certificate on file (idk if they filed it yet)...but if i have another month, I'll be able to have childcare IN A SCHOOL experience (asst teaching)

ig i WONT be able to save up to pay off my credit card, or get my hair braided, and i WONT be able to afford business class like i wanted,, i just hope i get a window seat, i WILL NOT sit in the middle if i can avoid it, i also dont want an isle seat just in case i sit next to somebody who doesn't speak English and they feel nervous about asking me to move so they can use the toilet... i really dont wanna talk to ppl like that

i also also need to look for headphones with a type c connector, because i heard those exist,, my Bluetooth headphones dont work very well on airplanes and i MISS wired headphones severely (i WILL NOT take them out of the box until im at the airport tho, i WILL NOT risk losing them before the flight, as i tend to do)

i also also also need to go through my music library and delete the songs i always skip and add in the new ones ive been playing on repeat via YouTube, im NOT paying for plane wifi , i also x3 need to figure out how to download Libby books like PDFs since i cant use libby outside of America and i want to keep reading books on the flight

ig im un-makeovering my apt tomorrow, time to put doors back on hinges and remove contact paper and fill in nail holes and everything,, it took me like 3days to do everything up and i did it with a butter knife instead of a screwdriver, so it should take less time to undo it with my new electric screwdriver ,, i think my sister is going to try and steal my bedframe, shes already laid dibs on the couch

they BETTER NOT charge me ANY fees considering i paid a TRIPLE deposit to move in here without a cosigner and thats the whole point of a deposit

anyways i got a lot to do tomorrow, so i gotta go to bed at a REASONABLE HOUR, NOT 2AM

and if anybody wants to help me pay off my $1400 credit card bill (ive been using it to pay rent and buy groceries since nobody wants to hire me, unemployment is only enough to pay the minimum + my phone bill so i dont get late fees)

here are my PayPal and cashapp,, im not good at art AT ALL, but if yall want commissions for something so that i can earn the money (i can only do traditional art), I'll do that too,, or i can proofread something? creative writing is actually my forte believe it or not

anyways

cashapp: https://cash.app/$firellily

(the pfp is a pic of my cat)

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

I was tagged by @ace0clubs (thank you!!)

coke or pepsi: coke

disney or dreamworks: dreamworks has objectively better movies but unfortunately i am a disney girlie

coffee or tea: coffee, tea tastes like sadness

books or movies: Both tbh but books are easier to concentrate on so we'll go with books

windows or mac: Windows

dc or marvel: same as question 2 honestly lmao dc is objectively better but i just love marvel <3

x-box or playstation: neither

dragon age or mass effect: idk what either of them are

night owl or early riser: permanently exhausted pigeon gang rise up

cards or chess: i like both but we'll go with cards, theres more variation in what u can play & i am not very good at chess

chocolate or vanilla: ice cream ? if its ice cream then vanilla everything else then chocolate

vans or converse: both are cool but i am a converse girlie

Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: whomst

fluff or angst: angst if it has a happy ending

beach or forest: Forest

dogs or cats: dogs (but i also love cats <3)

clear skies or rain: clear skies please god as a british person please god clear skies

cooking or eating out: eating out is so fun <3 and i can just about cook beans on toast so yknow

spicy food or mild food: spiceeee

halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: merry crisis

would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: A little too hot

if you could have a superpower, what would it be: teleportation, how much easier would travelling be ? no airports, no accomodation, no transport, would never have to drive or take the bus or whatever, also whenever i wanted something from the kitchen and couldnt be arsed moving i could just teleport in and out OHHH You could teleport into concerts and shit

animation or live action: either i guess but i prob watch more live action stuff

paragon or renegade: hm? renegade by paramore only song ever?

baths or showers: Shower

team cap or team ironman: they were literally both right their arguments were not mutually exclusive

fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy

do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: probably but i cant remember them off the top of my head lmao

youtube or netflix: YouTube

harry potter or percy jackson: ive never read/watched percy jackson but percy jackson wins by default

when do you feel accomplished: when my family are proud of me

star wars or star trek: I havent seen either but i know more about star wars also baby yoda c3po and r2d2 my beloveds

paperback books or hardcover books: paperback, hardcover is way too painful (i wanna preorder the button house archives so bad but the only physical option is hardback ? why)

to live in a world without literature or without music?: Without literature, sorry to all my favourite books but if i went even one day without music i might actually die

who was the last person to make you laugh? uhhh probably either a post on here or a post on instagram

city or countryside? city unfortunately its what im used to and the countryside just has way too many sheep staring into my soul for my comfort

favorite chips? this prob means crisps so im gonna go with mccoys ridged thai sweet chili chicken they are literally divine but bc im annoying like that i will also tell u the best chips are mccains for at home wetherspoons for eating out

pants or dresses? Pants

libraries or museums? museums (i always get overwhelmed by the options in a library and end up reading the most random shitty book ever or something ive already read lmao)

character driven stories or plot driven stories? plot

bookmarks or folding pages? folding the pages down i can never remember where i put bookmarks

Dream job?: *ideal* job is something to do with psychological research but my actual dream job is author/actor/director/singer (yes all of them at the same time lmfao. im gonna write direct and act in my own tv show and there will be a musical episode or 10)

What gives you comfort? music, my family and nice food :)

What are you currently having brain-rot levels of interest over? ghosts, good omens, starkid/hatchetfield, hozier and maisie peters (my brain is rotting quite severely atm)

(added question) What is your current favourite song?

absolutely no chance im tagging 45 people so i will just tag @wtnytv @colifower @bodybetters @cascadeoceanwave @deweyduck @antoniosvivaldi @everysummers @sylvielaufeyz @antlerqueer @taoargents @finalgirlsidney @cobbbvanth @barrowsteeth and @cmorris-art and call it a day ahaha

Re: the post u reblogged about couples actually enjoying spending time with each other/having in-jokes & whatnot. What would u do w that for John/Chas 👀👀

UGH anon i can't believe i didn't answer this very important question before, and esp bc i think maybe you were hoping for a full fic and not just. this random assortment of headcanons, but, obviously i have thots:

one of my fav John & Chas comics canon scene is when they goof on some rando at a bar bc he looks like a character from spinal tap, from which i infer: they probably watched it together, or else must've discussed it (w nostalgia given their own ~touring days) enough that john knows chas'll get the reference. HENCE i have inferred that they have at least somewhat similar tastes in pop culture and i assume that holds true across canons.

comics!john is also someone who canonically referenced dr who, star trek, and star wars, ergo, a BIT of a (sci-fi) nerd, which you wouldn't expect looking at him HOWEVER. chas knows 👀 and probably teases him about. not that chas is like. COOL but i see him as having idk more basic tastes. Airport fiction, etc. Stuff he can consume on his (minimal) downtime as a cabbie/dad/chauffeur/bodyguard/personal chef.

BUT anyway, obviously, i think they watch enough movies & TV together (or separately, but have similar enough tastes) that they have the same reference bank so in show canon i assume it’s like, john makes a lot of random snarky asides, chas laughs at it, and zed has no idea what they’re laughing about and after the first few times she asks, decides she really doesn’t want to. 

additionally, show canon is, when john is in town, they go to bars & music shows together (or i guess at least bars where live music is played? but either way john keeps him out ALL NIGHT and renee obviously hates it).

I think John maybe sometimes forgets that Chas isn't 100% aligned w him on stuff? I just recall TV john having that rambly convo w the bartender at the end of the [aired] pilot where hes talking about the sex pistols vs the ramones & then chas shows up [looking like an absolute DILF in his three layers of clothing in ATLANTA of all places] and im not sure if this actually happened but i can just picture john like, trying to rope chas into that discussion & chas being like, 🙄. 

Another john/chas friendship is just based on its longevity. chas has obvs known him a long time & remembers john in his "cutting up his t shirts & safety pining them back together " baby punk disaster stage, and/or his "frontman in a truly terrible band" thing, so even when john is being all broody (esp when john is being all broody) and/or the worst, chas can't completely divorce that from skinny, messy, but in some ways probably happier or at least less traumatized teenaged/early 20s y/o john.

Relatedly, comics!chas has nothing but disdain for Mucous Membrane, despite being their roadie. (i’m assuming he took the job bc he thought it would get him girls tbh.) And he's not afraid to mention it to john, even when john HAS not asked. Just full on roasts him about it, and john takes it so personally! A DELIGHT. any area where chas has a SLIGHT upper hand on john & relentlessly exploits it really just balances them and thus i’m always a fan.

theres a bit in show canon (I'm p sure it was in the New Orleans ep?) where john, chas, & zed are in the car & have to go talk to the police about something, and john starts throwing out different backstories they can use w the implication that they're the ones he & chas have used in the past, and chas is just like nodding along, and idk it's a small moment but it speaks to the fact that post-fire & pre-zed, john & chas DID engage in at least some spooky shit shenanigans, just the two of them. or maybe their ~bits go back to the MM days, or when they were even younger & john was out there just conning people out of things? Either way, EXCELLENT friendship history vibes.

(I actually just had kind of a sad thought which is, the fun hanging out & drinking in dive bars while listening to local bands stuff was a pre-fire/arthurian spell thing, bc after that chas may have mostly been hanging out w john bc they were doing ~spooky shit stuff)

also i’ve said it before but show!john & chas GO GROCERY SHOPPING TOGETHER IN THE PILOT and we DON’T get to see it and it’s NEVER referenced again and this is BIPHOBIA even more so than the fact the camera drifts when john kisses him in the bar

whats your favorite obscure hc about each of the losers?

Fucking perfect thank you

1- Mike he reads books or articles like “how to understand woman”, “why women like jerks”, not because he wants to woo woman or is a nice guy or anything but just because he thinks it’s interesting

I don’t think he’d date anyone

Gives great dating advice tho

Reads manga Likes Junji Ito

“The manga/book was better” kind of guy

I don’t know why but I feel like he’d be this ENTP-ish dude who likes to gather information about a lot of useless things and likes to debate He likes film and game theories Watches MatPat for sure

Also he likes The Walking Dead and… zombies in general

Also I’m sorry but he likes Quentin Tarantino and Wes Anderson

He likes grindhouse movies and appreciates the gory details but is chill about it Likes cinematography in general

Watches video essays about movies

2- Richie

Unlike Mike, Richie isn’t chill about gory details and whenever someone gags while watching a movie he goes “You think that’s disgusting??? Lmaoooo that’s nothing.”

He’d be the type of guy who brags about being immune to disturbing shit

Google searches include “top ten disturbing movies of all time” “scariest movies ever” “movies worse than a serbian film”

Still likes pink guy and thinks Joji is a genius

Unironically loves the song “I Love Sex” by Pink Guy and listens to it at least once everyday

Uses Discord a lot

Always starts studying on the last day

I think he’d like history

Not like Mike tho, he just likes textbook history and world wars etc

Plays Hearts of Iron and League of Legends

Also :) he likes to code

he is a Linux >>>>>>>>>> Windows kinda guy

Likes breaking bad

And Rick and Morty

Understands politics really well

His music taste is… anime opening songs

Evangelion especially

Likes science fiction books

Pretends to be a flat-earther/conservative/anti-vax for the meme

3- Ben

LIKES BACKSTREET BOYS

and boy bands in general

he is old school and still carries an mp3 around

Doesn’t use spotify, he illegally downloads songs like a champ :D

Likes story rich games

Especially RPG’s. He really likes Planescape Torment and Baldur’s Gate

Kinda lame about women, like he hears Jordan Peterson say something like “the eternal image of the divine feminine” or some shit like that and he goes “wow poetic. agreed”

Doesn’t read “How to woo women” books like Mike but thinks about it a lot that’s for sure

Likes Audrey Hepburn

And Steinbeck

Saves different versions of the same song to his mp3. “The Less I Know The Better but you’re crying in a bathroom” “The Less I Know The Better Slowed & Reverb Listen With Headphones” “The Less I Know The Better Nightcore”

Shares playlists with Eddie

ALWAYS. ALWAYS waits for the person who’s tying their shoes

He notices if someone is walking behind the group alone and walks back to accompany them

If no one laughs at your joke, he does

Bleached his hair once and regretted it immediately Writes poetry in his free time and makes Stan proofread it

Into psychology

Hands always in pockets

Probably owned lots of lego sets as a kid

People go to him for dating advice because he is seen as this “romantic guy”, I mean he is but he gives terrible dating advice

4-Stan

He likes geography

Literally knows all the flags in the world and all the capitals

Blindfold him and give him a country name, he can show you exactly where it is on the map

Also he plays those google earth games where you get a random location and try to find out which country you’re in/ or try to find the nearest airport

Also I feel like he’d like planes a lot

Idk he just likes things that fly lol. Birds, planes etc.

Likes to read classics

LOVES H. P. Lovecraft

carries little poetry books with him everywhere and reads them he’s so cute

Dark academia is his aesthetic

Can play the piano

Likes to read Ben’s poetry :D

Dark humor

His ringtone is Le Festin :)

Has an instagram account but never posts, just watches people’s stories

Very photogenic tho.

He’s a man of culture. He likes visiting aquariums and museums

Hates zoos tho, thinks it’s evil to cage animals

Also I don’t know how to explain it but… He just likes to decorate his place? Like to the clubhouse he’ll bring stuff he likes and just quietly claims a corner as his own and make it as comfortable as he can

Has...beautiful hands

you know how some people cut the cothing labels because it irritates the back of their neck? Stan does that with everything he buys

5- Eddie

Likes Backstreet Boys because of Ben

Replies to texts immediately. Communication and social interaction gives him serotonin

I have no idea why but I feel like he’d have an obsession with Tekken and his favourite character is Ling Xiayou

Big fan of classic playstation games. Loves Spyro, Crash Bandicoot and Ratchet and Clank

He likes wearing long sleeves under t shirts

Listens to emo music, stares out the window and imagines scenarios matching the song he’s listening to

He considers MCR to be emo btw. Loves G note memes

Likes astrology

Can’t watch horror movies, and gets teased by Richie about it

However he likes media that is presented as funky/funny/happy but is actually depressing/disturbing

He likes courtroom dramas

Wears sunglasses indoors for no reason

Probably likes fallout and metro games

Has a collection of finger skateboards

#weirdcore #oddcore #nostalgia #grunge

buys and wears random college sweatshirts

Hates and loves study groups, hates it in the sense that he can’t focus on anything and just wants to hang out and talk, loves it in the sense that he CAN hang out with his friends and talk

Romanticizes everything

6- Bill

Has lots of taurus energy and is sleepy all the time

Has major Leonardo DiCaprio in The Basketball Diaries vibes

Dresses effortlessly

And likes basketball lol.

He just has… boy energy. If that makes sense. Boy next door

Likes to draw his friends

posts his drawings on Instagram

Has lots of OC’s but doesn’t know they’re called OC’s, just refers to them as “this character I created”

He likes being praised a lot ngl

His taste in memes is very similar to Richie’s

You know how they put a random word on top of a random image and it doesn’t make sense at all. He laughs at things like that. Like Richie sends him something like this:

ME WHEN I WHEN

[image of monkey]

BOTTOM TEXT

and he thinks it’s funny and loses his shit im sorry

Like someone sends a picture of Keanu Reeves to the groupchat and texts “g” and he thinks it’s funny???? He sees a picture of a cow in the backrooms and starts choking

He memorized every line in Boneless Pizza and can quote it wihtout stuttering. Like he would be sitting alone talking to himself saying shit like “ya pizza. Watchu want. 2 liter machine broke we got one liter tho. fuck you mean B.”

Never answers calls? Doesn’t like talking on the phone. He just has “Don’t fucking call me when you can text!!” energy

phone is always on silent mode

doesn’t do anything but attracts people anyway

7- Bev

Likes musicals

Theatre kid

Chews gum a lot

And swallows them :(

Likes cottagecore

Buys notebooks with cute covers but can never fill them so she just gives them to bill who turns them into sketchbooks

I think she’d give advice or reaussure people in a way that sounds kinda rude but isn’t really? Like she tells it like it is. Blunt

Likes Avatar The Last Airbender

Sense of humor is:

[Picutre of the fox from Zootopia]

why is he hot help 😭😭😭

wears baggy clothing + long skirts

THE MR. GRUMPY PLEASE STOP THREATENING MR. TICKLE'S LIFE MASTERPOST

I have lost all sense of reality

Season 1

Mr. Grumpy appears in 39 episodes of Season 2.

In 7 of these episodes does he do something wrong.

Season 2

Mr. Grumpy appears in 44 episodes of Season 2.

In 8 of these episodes does he do something wrong.

Conclusions

Mr. Grumpy does something wrong in 15 out of the 83 episodes he appears in, which is 18%. Counting my 10 unsures bumps him up to 25/83, which is 30%.

Mr. Grumpy is a super weird character to rank, as he's justifiably annoyed by pretty much everyone around him; this, however, makes me feel bad to consider him an asshole in any episode because he's beaten down by the world until he snaps. So, take everything I say here with a grain of salt.

The one thing I'll always count against him though is if he ever threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm because believe me he does that A LOT

Yellow - Mr. Grumpy does nothing wrong

Red - Mr. Grumpy does something wrong

Pink - idk lol

SEASON 1

Flying - Just doing his job

Music - he's just kinda there lmao

Physical - man nobody even DOES anything in the early episodes

Farm - He gets so hilariously close to saying fuck in this episode its ridiculous. Anyways he's a dick to everyone trying to help him

Lake - barely there

Beach - BIRDS STOLE HSI FUCKING SAMWICH SMH

Mall - what the fuck even was that segment

Birthday - I actually had to watch pretty much the entire episode for this one. He just wants to chill on his own the entire time and everyone else just . does not listen. Please just let him vibe

Boats - barely in it

Superstore - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Books - just sellin his book don't mind him

Camping - he just. cannot eat outside in peace

Science - fuck you Miss Daredevil

Fish - Blames Mr. Bump for splashing when he is . fucking dying

Paint - what the fuck even just happened. I guess he ran over Mr. Bump but it was presumably unintentional and. nsbdANSDMADF WHY ARE THEY CUBED

Construction - He was barely in it and then got fucking mauled at the end

Jobs - yep he sure is there I guess

Trains - Yeah he once again sure is there

Hobbies - he's kinda mean to Mr. Scatterbrain but he's Mr. Scatterbrain so

Fair - this show is so stupid

Dance - It's justifiable that he'd complain about the noise but like. Dude. It's a dance studio. Why am I defending Mr. Noisy again

Amusement Park - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm, then tickles him after he said he was gonna be sick :(

Adventure - almost dies

Dillydale Day - he's barely in it and all he does is insult the performance

Games - y'know how I said this show was stupid? This is another example of that but in a good way

Hotel - I had to watch this one twice cause I have no fucking idea what to do with it. Like. He's kind of a dick to everyone and barely does his actual job but like. r., what the fcl./??????? also he pushes Mr. Tickle over at some point yeah I'm counting this one

Chores - he's just chillin and then dies

Snow - this segment is fucking hilarious but that's just cause Stubborn's in it lmao anyways he's fine ig

Wildlife - just kinda there

Restaurants - this show is so stupid . again

Gardens - oh how I hate this fucking episode - forced myself to rewatch it, he doesnt do SHIT WRONG AND THESE FUCKERSSADASKDKJDFJKJKADFJKSCVCDVDJKLFKLF IM SO FUCKIGN MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cars - Miss Sunshine is nothing but courteous the entire time and Mr. Grumpy does nothing but fucking complain is this the reckoning we get after the disaster that is Gardens

Ships - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Cooking - Roasts the shit out of Miss Naughty but she deserved it so it's okay

Collecting - just kinda there

Sleep - Yeahhhhh uhhh he kinda sent Mr. Strong to his "death" and didn't really. give a shit. soooooooooo oh yeah also hes kinda just mean to everyone the entire time hes just a dick

Carwash - he's trying his best also GAY ICON EPISODE

Sightseeing - yeah

The Dark - yeah again

SEASON 2

Picnics - he's just kinda there

Outer Space - again he's just kinda there

Clean Teeth - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Airports - He's kinda just trying to stop Mr. Stubborn from committing a copious amount of crimes

Shoes - quits a performance right in the middle for no fucking reason ?

Arts and Crafts - he's just trying his best

Game Shows - just kinda there

Garages - this show is so stupid

Toys - this show is still so stupid also Mr. Nervous said among us and I screamed

Reptiles - isn't this just Cars again? but this time he's slightly more of an asshole considering he tries to get Miss Sunshine to ignore Mr. Lazy. The only good part of this bit is Martin

Hats - Tried to get Mr. Happy to ignore the other hat contest contestants so he could win, but he does share his prize at the end, so idk man

Robots - I have absolutely no fucking clue

Up and Down - bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Dining Out - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Gifts - just kinda there

Sun and Moon - yep

Telephone - the whole fucking dillydale invaded his house wtf!!

Washing & Drying - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Sneezes & Hiccups - If I had a nickel for every Mr. Grumpy segment that was only funny because Mr. Stubborn was in it I'd have six nickels. I could buy a soda with that if it was 50 years ago

Fruit - Managed to be bribed with . fruit

Radio - bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Supermarket - i fucking hate this show I dont care enough to rewatch this one

Skyscrapers - HE STOLE MR SCATTERBRAIN'S SANDWICH SMH

Cinema - I'm so tired

Getting Around - I am still tired

Clocks - this episode is ass

Post Office - I am still, in fact, tired

Dance, Dance, Dance - I'm not tired anymore this episode bangs

Library - HE BARELY EVEN DOES ANYTHING

Pirates - I'm tired again

Goo - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Trains & Planes - I am going to fall asleep

Out to Sea - I am asleep. also he ignores Mr. Quiet the entire time and doesn't acknowledge Miss Scary pretty much saving his life but hhhhhhhhhhhhhhbnbnvnvbb i am too tired to care at this point

Next Door - still asleep

Lunch - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Machines - this isn't as painfully boring as Mr. Happy was but it's pretty close

Fairies and Gnomes - NEVERMIND I FUCKING LOVE THIS EPISODE

Home Improvement - asleep again

Bath and Bubbles - still asleep

Sand and Surf - I am up to 8 nickels at this point

Parks - Mr. Grumpy is so much more boring than I rememebred AND YEP THREATENED MR TICKLE WITH BODILY HARM

Surprises - I refuse to watch this episode again

Travel - THREATENED MR TICKLE WITH BODILY HARM AGAIN

Bad Weather - and I am now once again asleep

Drug Rings | A.P

Request: “Hi! Could you write an imagine (you can pick the boy it doesn't matter) where the reader finds out pm have been running a drug ring?(maybe crime too idk lmao) I don't know if that makes sense or not lol.”

A/N: DOUBLE UPDATE YEET! I haven't got to do a Austin imagine in a while so I chose to do my bb. This is the last of the Tumblr requests. I have approximately 15 wattpad prompt ones sO i'll start doing those ASAP. Remember you can still request things, I just don't get it done until I get the Wattpad ones done (:

Words: 986

Warnings: talk of drugs (no actual drug use)

Y/N’s POV:

I sit on Austin & I’s shared bed and scroll through my Instagram feed. I see the typical post. Khloe Kardashian doing an endorsement, An instagram model doing a crazy ass pose yet still looking hot as fuck, A couple fan pages that I followed back posting stuff, then I see something that I never would have expected to see. A m3ssymonday post of the boys.

@m3ssymonday: BREAKING: Boy-Band PRETTYMUCH under fire for drug-ring allegations!

I screenshot the post and immediately teXt the groupchat with all the boys & I in. This can't be true.. Can it? I mean, the boys have been distant lately. When I wake up they're all just getting home. They're constantly tired and sick. I've had a suspicion that they've been doing some shady shit but I would never have expected them to be dealing them..

Y/N: *1 image attached* what the fuck is this??

Brandon Arreaga: …

Edwin Honoret: let us explain..

Y/N: No! What the fuck is happening? Your dealing drugs? WHAT THE FUCK. L.A truly has changed you guys..

Nick Mara: Y/N…

Austin Porter: Baby let us explain..

Y/N: Don't ‘baby’ me, Porter. When you guys get home, I won't be here. I'm flying home ASAP. I’m not being roped into this. Austin text me privately. Now.

Zion Kuwonu: Y/N dont leave please..

I exit the group and text Austin.

Y/N: If you want to explain this is the time. I thought you guys had more sense than to be running a DRUG RING. WHAT THE FUCK AUSTIN.

Baby <3: Y/N please.. We had to.. The music isn't doing well. We needed money. Don't leave. As soon as we get our last bit of money that's owed from a customer we will stop. We haven't been doing anything, just selling it.

*Y/N changed ‘Baby <3’s nickname to ‘Austin Porter*

Y/N: I cant trust you right now.. I think it's best if I leave LA and we take a break. It doesn't have to be forever. I don't want it to be forever. I just need it to happen until this all blows over and you guys sort out your financial things. I love you Austin. I truly do. But I think we both know this needs to happen.. I'm going to be booking the closest flight home. I’ll come back when you sort this out..

I close my phone before I can read Austins reply and start packing my bags. I feel tears well up in my eyes as I grab clothes from the floor occasionally grabbing one of Austin's shirts that he’d let me wear. I close my last bag and open my laptop to book my flight home.

Flight 22: LA - Y/HT : 7:30 PM

I glance at the time and see that it's 5:00 PM. I grab the last of my items, leaving an occasional shirt or perfume bottle and make my way out the door and into an uber to the airport.

~Time skip bc im lazy~

I've been in my hometown of Y/HT for around a month now. I've missed the boys so much. Austin & I haven't officially broken up, or told anyone that we have taken a break, but stuff gets out i guess. Since I left I lost myself. I lost interest in all my hobbies. I stopped caring. I cant remember the last time I seen the sun. I sleep all day and stay up all night. I scroll through Twitter for what feels like the 7th time today and something catches my eye.

@M3ssyMonday: Boy-Band PRETTYMUCH speaks out on drug-ring allegations:

“We have some things we need to clear up. 1) We have been doing some shady things as a resort of financial problems. We are sorry if any of the recent allegations had hurt you or changed your opinions on us. We never wanted to, but our management made us. 2) We will be leaving out management company ‘@ManagementCompany888’ and finding a new one. 3) Yes, Y/N did move out of the house after news broke of the things we were made do. We have been in contact with her and it is unsure if she is going to move back any time soon, but we are all on good terms, and there is no need to worry about Y/N and or relationships. Thank you all for reading. -PRETTYMUCH”

I feel a tear fall from my eye as I finish reading the message. I decide to text the group chat for the first time since that horrible day last month.

Y/N: Hey.. I've been thinking of moving to LA.. You guys got a spare side of a bed I can take?

Brandon Arreaga: There's always room here. When are you planning on coming back?

Austin Porter: I still have your blanket on my bed. Your side of the bed has been empty.. Come back?

I feel myself smile as I read Austins message.

Y/N: If you'll leave enough space on the bed, i'll be back as soon as possible, porter.

Zion Kuwonu: YASSSS #AUY/N IS BACKKKKK

I close my phone and start to pack my suitcases again before I hear my phone go off.

Incoming Facetime: Austin Porter

I accept the facetime and see that smile that I fell in love with all those months ago. “Since your moving back, does that mean we’re back together?” He questions, his eyes staring into mine as he pouts slightly. “I mean, I guess. As long as there's no drug-ring” I see his face light up and the boys freak out behind the camera. “FUCK YEAH” I hear him yell once more before we talk for what feels like hours.. Even though I’m not back in LA yet, I’m beyond thankful to be returning to my boy.. To my happiness.. To myself.

Tag Game

Rules:

Tag the person who tagged you

Answer the questions

Tag 10 people

i was tagged by @sugakookiesbutbadass​, thank you! ^^

1. How tall are you?  - 5ft 5.5

2. What colour and style is your hair? - black, somewhere between straight and wavy, kinda long

3. What colour are your eyes? - dark brown

4. Do you wear glasses? - yep i am practically blind, since i was 4 xD

5. Do you wear braces? - i had them, for four. whole. years. theyve been off for a year now tho :D

6. What’s your fashion sense? - anything and everything

7. Full name? - esteban julio ricardo montoya de la rosa ramirez (lol im iranka ok why do u need more)

When were you born? - May 13th

Where are you from and where do you live now? - born in conneticut, live in the UK (these questions are kinda personal dontchu think? lol)

What school do you go to? - does it matter?

What kind of student are you? - uhh in school i was just the quiet kid who was smart so the teachers liked them, even tho slowly i became less and less organised and rarely handed homework in on time lol teachers still had the impression that i was a good student. idk uni is different, im just a procrastinator but at least i show up at lectures (most of the time)

Do you like school? - yeah? and no? its interesting and i like learning but i hate deadlines and stress and feeling like im wasting £9k+

Favourite subject? - at school? definitely art. at uni, Brain & Behaviour? maybe? Cognition?

Favourite tv shows? - i dont watch much tv but; merlin, a:tla, sherlock (up to season 3), teen wolf (up to season 3b), man in the high castle (though i never finished that), legend of korra

Favourite movie? - lord of the rings (and princess mononoke, big hero six, mulan, how to train your dragon, mad max: fury road, attack the block...)

Favourite books? - lord of the rings, blue light (by gary paulson), the percy jackson series, the man who mistook his wife for a hat

Favourite pastime? - playing piano, drawing, painting, writing, designing worlds/characters, reading fanfics, watching bts or oh my girl related content, listening to music, singing, playing flute, going for walks, filming/photographing things

Do you have any regrets? - i mean,,,

Dream job? - every job thats in those typical lesbian posts (farmer, own a cafe that doubles as a book and flower shop, etc)

Would you ever like to be married? - i want to be in a committed relationship, dunno about married tho. im not a fan of weddings

Would you like to have kids? - no

How many? - on the offchance i adopt, one or two?

Do you like shopping? - no. i like the things but shopping is boring and tiring lol

What countries have you visited? - USA, England, Scotland, Wales (yes im separating them lol), Dubai (just the airport), Abu Dhabi (the airport again lol), Pakistan, France, Belgium, Spain, Turkey

Scariest nightmare you have ever had? - idk, the only dreams ive had that have woken me up bc i was scared have all been to do with bugs, usually spiders but sometimes moths

Any enemies? - i hope not

Do you have a significant other? - i wish :(

Do you get along with your family? - yes but only when im pretending to be someone im not

Do you believe in miracles? - maybe?

How are you? - tired currently, but whats new. no one cares so i wont bother answering more detailed lol

i tag: literally anyone who wants to do this, idk who to tag

it’s hope??? again??? yes u read that right here’s my son rory love us this blog is so new so nothing will be in the tags i hate everything lmao anyway like this or message me to plot ily bye

triggers: car crash, drunk driving, stroke, abortion, death, depression ( mention )

╰☆╮ DACRE MONTGOMERY ─ RORY PEARSON identifies as CISMALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a YOUTUBER/MUSICIAN, and they’re only TWENTY-TWO ! they’re said to be +CANDID, but also -DESPONDENT. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE ACCIDENTAL BILLIONAIRE in the tabloids. ( kendall schmidt, logan henderson )

did i use two btr bois as his vc??? u bet ur ass i did & i have no regrets ok anyway on to my son 

background: 

rory pearson was born and raised in fairhope, alabama.  his parents were teenagers when they had him and lived with his grandma scarlett.  his mom jean marie was ousted by her parents when she told them she was pregnant and his dad’s mom took her in with open arms.  

of course his grandma wasn’t going to let them live in the same room in her house without being married, especially with her grandbaby on the way.  so after talking with them, and his parents agreeing, they went to the courthouse and got married three months before rory came into the world.  

rory was born on april 20th, 1996 and he was without a name for six days.  his parents couldn’t decide so they named him rory wyatt vincent pearson.  he was always told that since his parents couldn’t decide on naming him after jean marie’s grandfather or greyson’s father, they picked a third name and gave him both of their names for middle names.  

when rory was two and a half years old ( not really half, it was june ?? ) his parents graduated high school and went out for a party.  unfortunately their designated driver wasn’t so sober and the group of four recent graduates crashed into another car.  

his father was in the passenger’s seat and died on impact, his mother was pronounced dead in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.  

scarlett legally adopted rory after that and raised him.  she always told him stories of his parents, but avoided telling him anything about what happened to them for as long as she could.  

he was ten years old when he saw the memorial and recognized his parents from their yearbook photos and came home asking about it.  

honestly this is jumping ahead a bit but rory didn’t learn to drive until he was twenty years old.  and even now, esp now, since he lives in nyc he doesn’t drive often. 

okay when he was seventeen years old he met bethany in an airport.  he was on his way to a college interview on a connecting flight that got cancelled due to weather conditions.  they were both sitting in the same terminal so they got to talking and !!! hit it off

bro legit asked her out 5 seconds after their flights were announced to be back on

“hi yeah we just met but we’ve got two hours before your flight leaves so wanna go grab some food with me???” 

and the rest was legit history

he can remember every moment of their conversation and first date like it was yesterday. oh my god he was SO IN LOVE 

the human embodiment of the hearteyes emoji

and so the pair stayed in touch and went on a couple more dates and the boy was so gd smitten that grandma scarlett took his phone during one of their phone calls and was like “darlin if you don’t fly down here to meet me i’m going to think my grandbaby is just talking to a complete stranger on here.” 

and then bethany flew down and met scarlett and she was so excited because !!!! her grandson had a girlfriend !!!! 

grandma scarlett was the biggest supporter of anything rory did in life oh my GOD 

at his graduation it was just grandma scarlett in the crowd for him but boy did it sound like the whole crowd was cheering for him when his name was called 

anyway flash forward to he’s in college and he’s moved away to be closer to bethany.  which should not have affected his life but when he was looking at colleges fr fr after acceptances the boy chose one closer to his girl

we love a softie ok 

anyway on bethany’s 19th birthday he took her to an airport and was surprising her with a trip to disney that he’s been saving up for for MONTHS !!!! 

and at the airport he was like all jittery and nervous bc in his pocket he had an engagement ring but he did his bEST to hide it all from beth bc surprises 

not that he planned the whole thing ( he did ) but it just so happened they were in the same restaurant waiting for their flight as their first date way back when

and in the middle of dessert, the waiters singing happy birthday this boy attempts to be sly and gets down on one knee.  but didnt realize there would be someone coming up behind him to keep up the singing and he ..... kinda caused a mini avalanche of people

and he apologized and is like still on one knee and now he’s looking at bethany with a BRIGHT RED face and he had had this whole speech worked out in his mind ok but all that comes out is, “i love you, please marry me?” in like an awkward stutter because he just TOOK OUT AN ENTIRE WAITSTAFF 

somehow bethany said yes ??? and they’re engaged ??? 

oh and someone got the whole thing on camera and like that happened 

the video skyrocketed to the most viewed video entitled “i witnessed an awkward proposal???? and she still said yes?????” 

which is also lowkey how he started his youtube channel ?? 

“hi yes it’s me the guy who proposed to an olympic athlete while taking out a whole waitstaff?? i dont know why she said yes either but i love her??”

and for a long time it was mainly vlogs of him and beth and him and his friends 

okay so fast forward and rory’s graduated college with a degree in history education bc he wants to be a teacher and he’s got to fly back to alabama and miss his graduation because he got a phone call and grandma scarlett had a stroke

so the boy is freaking out but it’s fine !!! grandma goes home and he winds up staying down and now he’s trying to figure out how to be with beth, find a job in ny, but also take care of his grandma 

for a while he toys with the idea of moving grandma up to new york and helping her find a place.  so he goes back to new york to talk to beth about it and he’s freaking out and he gets home and she tells him she’s pregnant

of course he never expected to be like 20 and having a baby but ??? whatever.  now he’s freaking out because his grandma is not doing good and he’s worried about her and now he’s got to figure out what to do with a BABY ???

and bethany then tells him she wants to get an abortion and rory’s already stressed and so he flips bc of emotions and they get into a huge fight and it just winds up with him leaving and heading back to alabama and bethany in their apartment  

so rory goes home to alabama and he keeps getting notifications on social media about bethany so he just shuts his phone off and i’m talking like he goes days without touching his cell phone.  he takes a hiatus from youtube because he’s freaking out and 

two months after he’s home he seemed like scarlett was doing better so he took her to a party in town to see some of her friends and at the party scarlett had another stroke.  

she died six days later, never waking up from the medically induced coma they put her in.  

flash forward a couple more weeks after he’s working with lawyers for his grandma’s estate and rest assured scarlett pearson had nothing but her house, her garden, and her beat up corvette that her deceased husband wyatt bought her for their anniversary one year

so its a shocker to find out that scarlett pearson was worth 43.7 billion dollars 

and now that money all goes to rory because he’s her only living heir ???

so rory gets this BOATLOAD of money and the local newspaper picks it up which brings it to the national news and somehow it made international news

“local alabama boy from youtuber to billionaire overnight” 

so he kept his grandma’s house in alabama because ..... he can’t seem to let that go and why should he ?? its a good house and holds a lot of memories

but he does in fact buy a brownstone in manhattan its HUGE and he doesn’t have enough things to fill the whole space up but ??? he’s working on it slowly. 

he created a makeshift recording studio in one of the upstairs rooms and has been working on music, which is new to him ?? he was always a bit artistic but never sure enough to like try it out

oh and he’s returned to youtube, he’s got a decent following i guess 

i mean lbr he’s hot ???? and sings ??? so ??? ya know 

personality: 

okay so this is long already so im gonna keep this short n sweet

rory is a sweet boy, never really an athletic type always more focused on his studies than sports.  

spent a lot of time with his grandma and he’s very easily attached to people he’s close to.  not exactly clingy, but it’s really hard for him to let people go i guess ??? 

used to love shows like survivor and big brother and amazing race. always toyed with the idea of applying to be on amazing race but he never had anyone who would go with him, or could for that long.  

he’s a real kind hearted guy and clumsy as fuck

a bit awkward when you first meet him but ??? you warm up quickly and so does he

clumsy af as noted earlier 

kind of depressed ??? idk he’s not seeing anyone for it but post losing beth, his grandma, and like the possibility of a family in the future he’s kinda ..... morbid 

puts on a happy front for youtube

oh and he does a podcast talking about stuff with his friends idk what exactly but ?? its prob music and movies lbr

connections: 

best friend(s)--self explanatory; people who he gets along with and they’re like his ride or dies.  

nerd friends--give him someone to geek out with please he’s SUCH A NERD !!!! or someone who likes learning random things he’s got u 

musical friends--people who he met through starting to delve into music 

youtube community--give me people who !!! met through youtube and often do colabs together.  probably ppl who were shooketh when he came back and was like “bro i have 40 billion dollars????”

wealthy friend(s)--give me someone who will teach this boy how to be wealthy ??? like cause he knows nothing about that he struggled a lot growing up and with college and several part time jobs he doesnt know how to like party or anything 

idk anything else 

now its ur turn. do all of the sweetheart asks.

god jsjsjhdjk im just letting u kno these answers r gonna be BORING but hhhh THANK U 

1. Talk about your first love.

i’ve never been in love, never been in a relationship before. BUT i can vaguely remember my first crush back in 2nd grade. all i can remember was that his name was kyle and he was the only boy who ever spoke to me and my brain just went !!! 

2. What’s the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard in your opinion?

Break My Heart Again - FINNEAS or What Was Our Love All About - Adrian Milanio and Marylou Villegas 

these are just two that i can think of there are A LOT of beautiful songs

3. How’s your heart feeling right now?

fine??

4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do?

i dont really do any self care things?? 

5. What’s your skincare routine?

i dont do any skincare routines either... ik im a monster

6. How did you get to be so beautiful?

u must be blind if u think that 

7. Do you have any stuffed animals?

i used to have over 50 stuffed animals, i would always place them all over my bed neatly but i got rid of them now :( 

8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?

Myrtle Beach, SC because it was my first vacation spot and i was so happy seeing two dolphins close to the shore

9. Favorite thing about your room?

the color of my walls and blankets lol mint green and peach colors

i dont have anything cool in my room

10. Opinion on love?

i mean, it’d be nice to experience it some day and i hope i do but right now im content being by myself

11. Are you affectionate?

if i know you very well i can be, if not im very awkward and will barely make any eye contact with you

12. Who do you look up to?

i look up to people who have struggled a lot in their life, people who can be optimistic in any situation

13. Favorite poet?

i dont read much poetry, but i loved reading some things Emily Dickinson has published

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?

honestly any disney song makes me happy! im a huge disney nerd and listening to any of those songs makes me feel nostalgic.

when im in a bad place, any slow, ballad sounding song can calm me down

15. Do you play an instrument?

i played the flute in middle school but dropped it after less than a week LOL

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

i like doing digital art but im not good at it and i dont have adobe illustrator anymore so i haven’t done anything recently

17. Do you dance? What style of dance?

i cannot dance and no one will make me

IM TOO EMBARRASSED EVEN IF IM ALONE HAHAHA

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology?

im a libra

i somewhat believe in astrology, i know there’s more to it than just your sun sign and there are different placements that make you different from the stereotypical traits people use for each sign

a lot of the “things about each sign” can be used for anyone because the responses can be very vague and many people can relate to 

19. Favorite old film?

too many

the shining, the breakfast club, carrie, pretty in pink, etcetcetc

20. What’s your hairstyle?

idk its a mess

curly/wavy and i have hardcut bangs 

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

fall weather, where its like 50 F (or 10 C for all u weirdos out there), cold enough to put on a flannel and boots

22. What upsets you most about the world?

i only have two hands but there are so many cats and dogs. i cannot pet all of them. (IM SORRY THIS WAS UR ANSWER DASHA BUT IM KEEPING IT ITS SO CUTE AND FUNNY AND I RELATE)

23. Are you in love right now?

no

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

i dont have a crush lol

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them!

yes!!! i have two gorgeous puppies!!! if u wanna check them out u can follow my instagram i post them all the time @ the.moon.atomic

they’re such dorks but they fit my household idk how to describe it they just belong in my house hahha

26. Do you have a lucky number?

i dont really believe in lucky numbers 

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash?

no, and i never heard about wishing on a fallen eyelash haha

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work?

no???????? i dont even know what that is

29. Do you believe in magic in general?

no

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

when people finally stop hiding their true selves, show their real smiles, and laugh so hard they snort 

idk i just love people, well, most anyway sjsjhzjdsk

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue?

love them 

theyre such pure colors and they just remind me of newborn babies hahaha

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite?

piano definitely

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain?

yes! yes to both! i love rain more though, sorry wind

34. Who makes you happy?

my friends, family, and my mutuals 

35. What makes you happy?

listening to music

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like?

ohh well i’d be living on germany for starters hahaha

id like to have my own house, maybe living with a best friend

definitely like 5784538902 cats and dogs, i love them 

at some point id like to have a relationship LOL

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup? 

only on rare days ill put on makeup, i only use eyeshadow, liner, and mascara and ive never gone to a store thats just for make up, i just go to a pharmacy lol

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own?

only if i absolutely have to, the dress i wore for my senior pictures is my favorite

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it?

noo, ive never been in a relationship 

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?

i kinda really dont have one, not irl anyway

@neo-bangtan @mini-pretzel are my closest friends online, i love everything about u guys

41. Introvert or extrovert?

introvert

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI?

im isfj

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, or an angel?

uh idk?? i wouldnt want to be immortal so 

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you?

acid jazz singer - the fratellis 

45. Parlez-vous français?

no my french sucks

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to?

honestly i cant think of any place pennsylvania sucks ahhaha

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home?

home...... my bed...... LOL

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous!

only if im not looking at myself lol

49. Favorite shoe you own?

slip ons or my new balance 

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them?

N O i am so accident prone i can barely walk barefoot without tripping 

51. Do you feel loved?

kinda? sometimes?

52. How do you express love to those you care about?

just giving them a hug lol or saying i love you

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment?

no ones ever called me any but i like baby, im a simple girl 

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you?

nothing?

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been?

meeting new people who share the same interests 

56. Are you happy right now?

im pretty neutral atm

57. What makes you smile?

really awful jokes that ARENT EVEN FUNNY AND TALKING DASHA AND KARINA 

58. Do you laugh a lot?

i guess??

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic?

soft vibes i guess haha

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)?

i dont see myself marrying but if i would it would definitely be for love

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married?

i dont really want to get married, most of the time it ends in divorce and theres just a lot of paper work and its a hassle i dont see a point in it 

62. Favorite flower?

hydrangeas 

63. Favorite artist?

edgar degas

64. Favorite music artist?

bts lol

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you?

i try to be kind to everyone, i dont know if others perceive me that way but i think kindness is very important to me

66. Ever made a playlist for someone?

once and i loved it, pls ask me to make a playlist for u

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath?

music and a soft blanket 

68. Early bird or night owl?

early bird

69. Morning routine?

wake up, look in the mirror, look away from the mirror, go back to bed. (AGAIN THIS IS UR ANSWER DASHA BUT IM KEEPING IT HHAHAHAHA)

70. Night routine?

shower and watch netflix until i fall asleep

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion?

being humble

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after?

yes yes and yes

im such a cry baby i will cry at everything if u yell at me or if disappoint u im so sensitive 

73. Do you like hugs?

yes but i dont receive many hugs

74. When was the last time you kissed someone?

never

75. Are you small or tall?

small, 5′4 or 164cm

76. Do you like wholesome memes?

who doesnt

77. Favorite thing about the past?

anything that makes me feel nostalgic 

78. Do you ever wonder about the future?

yes

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in?

nooo

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports?

ive never been on a plane

81. Sunrises or sunsets?

sunsets

82. The beach or a forest?

beach

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood?

when im sleeping lol

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t?

i try to 

85. Favorite kind of tree?

what kind of question is this i dont know anything about trees

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth?

i want to but i dont do anything for it

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything?

fieldtrips in school

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?

i try to read more, my favorite book is more happy than not 

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment?

disney, i just put my christmas tree down and the ornaments are disney characters

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have?

honesty i guess?

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance.

my eyes

92. When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about?

after i bathe 

93. Do you worry a lot?

yes all the time

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?

dazzling lights of the city

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason?

no 

96. Favorite pastry?

??????????? i dont know??????????

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness?

YEAH

98. How’s your day/night going?

fine so far, i dont have to work today so im just chillaxing 

bias explanation tag

ok so @banana-jiayou tagged me to do this about one month ago and me being the forgetful person that i am, am just getting around to it now!!!

nini actually tagged me to talk about either my banana or my mr-x bias, but because i still consider myself as “developing” my bias order in mr-x (altho anyone can probably tell im leaning towards luo zheng) i’ll go with banana kids!! 

you may know already, my banana bias is Lu Dinghao 🌞🌞

(i dug deep into my #ludinghao tag to try to piece together what i can remember of what happened hahahha)

the rest will go under the cut bc i think this is gonna get kinda long....

Idol Producer Era

you may have seen me rant about this in my tags before, but I really did not plan on watching Idol Producer... at all. I watched p101s2 and it wasn’t the greatest experience for me (kenta and youngmin were my favs ;;;) and so I wasn’t too keen on starting another extremely similar show, because I had little hopes that the kids I’d like would make it to the end, so I thought the show would just end in disappointment for me again.  

but! *drumroll please* cue chen linong! (i promise, im getting to dinghao, itll all make sense eventually LOL)

so I forget why, but maybe when I was just on the internet, I heard a LOT about chen linong. (even my friends who don’t watch ip who are just normal taiwanese kids HAVE HEARD OF chen linong. he’s honestly THAT popular in taiwan that regular people who dont care about ip know his name - its crazy!) so i heard he was taiwanese and I heard he was super popular and tons of people loved him. so what did i do? I went and looked up his audition video bc i was like wtf why is this kid so popular?? whats so special about him??

so one audition video, one intro video, one upward!trainee video, and a couple of douyins later, i was officially committed to watching idol producer for chen linong. 

the next step, what do I do? go to wikipedia (LOL) and search up what other taiwanese boys are on the show. i immediately notice 3 of them are from banana ent and banana ent actually also has a malaysian child. (which was super interesting to me too bc i have a lot of friends who are southeast asian and southeast asian representation is super cool!!) and so i watched all of the 5 other taiwanese kids’ intro videos and upward!trainee videos. I’ll be honest, at the time none of them stood out to me as strongly as linong (I just love love love smiley guys, and linong’s personality was so strongly taiwanese and so down-to-earth in his audition video, i just couldn’t resist!) but from there, bc 3 of the 6 taiwanese kids were in banana, I knew to look out for the banana kids. 

fast forward to episode 2, I watch the banana audition perf and dinghao sort of stands out to me because i usually go for the “happy/ mood-maker” member in kpop groups, so when he introduced himself as “小太陽陸定昊” i was like oo who’s this? also im soft for boys with the curved lip smile thing heheh and so in my curiosity to find out who he is, i look him up and find his instagram! (i didnt have weibo yet) and I start seeing pictures like these and I’m like oh my goodness he’s beautiful :o 

but i think julie (@qinfour) was one of the first people i talked to about this, but one of the reasons why i usually like “happy/ mood-maker” members is because I feel like I can relate to them (ie: dinghao) bc I feel similar to them. In high school i was seen as the crazy hyper happy one and people actually thought that i was constantly happy.... all the time... which is impossible. so it was hard for me at times bc when i wasn’t feeling happy, people would discredit my feelings, or as soon as I stopped smiling, people would be like omg whats wrong with you?? so to me, seeing idols who are like that, having a happy, fun exterior but are actually insecure / experiences hardships inside, makes me feel like i can relate to them. 

so anyway, so after ep 2 im already like kinda interested in dinghao (but also still interested in linong and the other banana trainees, but he’s on my radar) and so ep 3 rolls around and this HISTORIC xinfan ep from Feb. 2nd comes with it: 

(in the original video, the banana part starts around 8:36) and from watching this and dyING of laughter at zhangjing being adorable and sassy and dinghao being HILARIOUS, i was like ok i like them, they’re my fav banana children!! (even tho neither of them are taiwanese and i only became interested in banana in the first place bc they had taiwanese people LOOL) and you may be wondering, what about yanjun?? he was really funny in that video too?? but actually yanjun didn’t stand out to me until around “ai ni” bc he was in the same group as dinghao maybe bc i just didnt get his humor as much??? HAHAHHAHA like zhangjing and dinghao were like SO FUNNY to me but yanjun i was likeee okayyy (i love him and his humor so much now, but idk i just didnt get it back then?? LOL oops sorry yanjun) but yea, it wasn’t until “ai ni” that i started noticing him and then gradually it snowballed into i was MADLY VOTING FOR YANJUN by the the final ep and SUPER EMOTIONAL when he made it into the final 9, like my body was shakinggg, i was so happy !!! (i was MUCH happier with the result than i was with p101s2!) 

but anyway, back to the point, I think around this time was when i found out about the “rock the show” mv (it was actually released beforehand, on 1/29 and the dance version 2/6??), and I think i freaked out to violet (@zhu-xingjie) like !!!! wtf is this ?!?? its so good omgomg (something along those lines, at least ;;;) and then after watching the mv i was like ok im def gonna be a banana stan wow they make good music, so talent, super funny members, much visual wow

(tumblr only lets me embed youtube videos, but you can find the official video in HD!! here and the dance version here. id highly recommend watching both if you havent already!!!!!!! the dance version has more closeups???? and i felt even more attacked than i thought was possible after watching the official video???)

and so basically from there, I became a banana stan, focusing on lu dinghao and you zhangjing. and ofc i love zhangjing to bits and he’s so warm-hearted and adorable, but I think I’ll always feel the most connected to dinghao, which is why he became my bias.

some other moments that led me to love him:

his mini chinese lesson because i also struggle with “zhei” but also since then, ive discussed with nini on multiple occasions how weird dinghao’s chinese is?? hahahahahha its like hard to understand sometimes??

4/9 banana boys discussing getting rid of fans at the airport !!!! this is actually one of my favorite videos because LU DINGHAO IS HILARIOUS!!! SO EXTRA WOW

the entire banter with yanjun during the “ai ni” era bc he finally got more screen time!! and also he showed how good of a friend he was to keep voting for yanjun until he just really couldnt anymore

nursery coloring class with chaoze bc dinghao is ridiculous?? 

during the hot pot ep, just watch for any clips of dinghao and he’s probs doing something ridiculous

the banana family scene from the “boom boom boom” era where dinghao shows his insecurity, bc it was a moment where i felt i could really connect to him, as a flawed and normal human who isn’t happy all the time

fun fact: I think this banana boys post was one of the first i ever translated, probs bc beibei was leaving and im soft for that boy too and bonus you can see in my tags that im already dinghao trash at that point bc i freaking had 芝麻糊 for the first time (and bought it with my own money!!) bc of freaking Lu Dinghao !!! (about two weeks later, i bought a whole pack of it at the grocery store....) 

but anyway, so “that’s how the story goes” (gotta include a zzt reference heheh) of how dinghao became my bias... i tried to keep it as relevant to dinghao as i could? lol and i also could be remembering things wrong LOL but basically post-ip, all that’s changed is that i’ve realized dinghao is even weirder than i first realized HAHAH BUT I STILL LOVE HIM. 

some additional fun moments: 

this interview where he describes roasts all the other banana trainees

watch “sawadika banana” if you havent already and you’ll get some GOLD dinghao moments like this crazy mess and other hilarious shenanigans

idk if its been subbed yet, but this bazaar interview is one of my fav dinghao / yanjun / zhangjing videos bc theyre so funny!!! i was literally laughing the whole time, its so fun to watch c: 

im not gonna tag anyone else to do this, because it does take quite a while (3 hrs for me LOL) but its fun if you have the time to reflect back and if anyone wants to do it, id love to read your story as well!! 

missing — an ong seongwoo fic

requested by @sweetpoisonousmilkshake 

genre: slight horror??? idk, mystery? thrill? yo holY this is just a mess & a flop

based off of this post by @tokyo-coffee 

a/n: happy 300 to me :0 honestly, thanks guys!😫🎉💕 i don’t think i deserve these 300 followers but ((((’: and MERRY EARLY CHRISTMAS!🎄

also, legit hope you guys enjoy???? because i don’t like this,,,, no matter how many times i’ve edited this to make it sound better, it just doesnt????

“where are you guys?”

“i’m so lost

.

.

what is happening”

saturday - december 23rd

“breaking news, following after the missing cases of 9 other boys, 22 year old kang daniel has been reported missing after a 24 hour waiting period of no response.”

-zip- closing the tv, seongwoo cannot believe it.

what is happening, the missing 10 people are all his friends

who is behind this and what is their purpose.

for the past two weeks, one of his friends would be reported missing every day of the week, weekends aren’t touched,

guess every criminal needs their breaks too.

-

day 1 - ha sungwoon

december 11th

a group of 11 boys met up at the center of a mall. the best of friends, enjoying themselves around the mall, until…

“hey, guys, i’m going to the restroom, i’ll meet up with you guys in a bit”

“meet up at the food court when you’re done, sungwoon hyung”

“don’t clog the toilet in there HAHAH”

the day goes by and the clock hits 6pm, sungwoon still a no-show

he doesn’t pick up his phone, the boys split up to look in every restroom in the mall

still no sign of sungwoon,

-ding- seongwoo looks at his phone, it’s a message from sungwoon

“1 down, 10 more to go.”

frantically, he dials sungwoon’s number, the person on the other end picks up

“HEY WHERE’S SUNGWOON HYUNG, WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT”

and the person hangs up.

day 2 - bae jinyoung

december 12th

“okay everyone, you guys need to stay safe. be on the lookout for anything suspicious,” mother yoon jisung orders

“especially you maknaes, don’t go anywhere without an adult. or walk in crowded places.”

bae jinyoung, a child of mischief, does not listen. he feels like he can protect himself as he’s taking boxing lessons from jihoon,

he leaves his house at the usual time of 4AM, an early head start to school, his only source of light are the street lamps

a white van driving at, probably, 5mph was following him closely from behind,

creeped out he starts walking faster, the van starts driving faster, at this point he’s sprinting to school,

the van zooms by and stops a yard in front of jinyoung. the door slides open and three people steps out, taking bae jinyoung with them.

-ding- “9 more”

day 3 - hwang minhyun

december 13th

“ultra fast delivery? hm” the thing that has caught hwang minhyun’s eyes is an iRobot Roomba 880. issa a vacuum cleaner

the option of it being delivered right away caught his attention as well, placing his order, he expects the vacuum to arrive in 30 mins max, but

a minute later his doorbell rings, “wow i didn’t expect ultra fast delivery to be this quick,”

opening the door, he comes face to face with a masked man, his eyes look somewhat familiar, or am i picturing things

minhyun didn’t even get a word out before the guy places a cloth over his mouth, gasping which is not a good idea minhyun pls, chloroform.

“8”

day 4 - yoon jisung

december 14th

walking home from work, enjoying the fresh air of the night, he doesn’t notice someone suspicious following him.

even though he was the one who told his friends to stay cautious

going on his phone to check up on the news of his missing friends, no luck

no one can find them, the criminals didn’t leave any clues, what smart people.

“i just want my friends back, i want life to be normal again.”

the suspicious person took this opportunity to strike and attacks jisung,

hitting him at the back of his neck i’m sorry jisung ;-; he drops to the ground, unconscious.

dragging jisung away, all that’s left is his phone with a message sent to seongwoo

“7 more”

day 5 - lai guanlin

december 15th

the stress of not being able to communicate well with others as he’s a foreigner has finally hit him.

he feels left out and wants to collect his cool before he bursts out at his friends, thinking going to the beach will satisfy him, he did just that

spending an hour max at the beach swimming and screaming to his heart’s content, has allowed him to calm down

he feels more motivated to learn korean better, to be able to have fun with his friends too.

swimming back to shore, he didn’t notice how far he swam out, stranded in the middle of the ocean he didn’t know where to go

an incoming big wave crashes into him and he drowns, but a boat passes by and saves him

however,

he never makes it home.

“6”

day 6 - park woojin

december 18th

he went to the park where he heard there was a hurdle tournament going on,

saw some online ad and wanted to participate.

he didn’t bother considering it to be a scam since all that was in his head was winning the grand prize of $1000

the event takes place at the time of 6PM and ends at 8

woojin ends up going and upon his arrival, doesn’t see anything set up for a hurdle race

“scam? i was really looking forward to this too,” kicking some nearby rocks, he pouted.

he saw an ice cream truck parked by the park and thinks why not treat himself and make his day better with ice cream?

after getting his ice cream, he turns around, takes a few steps and bumps into someone, “ah sorry”

his ice cream fell in the process, “hey it’s ok why don’t i get you another ice cream?” dragging him to some place unknown, woojin is confused as he’s walking in the opposite direction of the ice cream truck

“i know a really good ice cream place, let’s go”

woojin never gets back home and worries his dorm mates

“5, halfway there.”

day 7 - kim jaehwan

december 19th

jaehwan started out busking as his hobby which soon became his way of living.

the many years of his field of work has never had anything serious happen, sure some delinquents would try to steal his money but he’d find a way to get it back

never in his life has he ever dealt with what’s about to happen to him

a person who self-claims as a manager from a big music entertainment walks up to jaehwan, hands him a card and tells him to go audition,

looking at the information presented on the card, “YMC huh, this sounds a bit sketchy sir,” when he looks up the man had already left

“guess i’ll give it a shot” and shrugs.

after busking, he makes it a mission to go home and rest early to go audition tomorrow, but as he walks home, some guy walks up to him and knocks him out

his guitar falls to the ground and he is taken away to someplace where his other friends are presumably taken to as well.

“4”

day 8 - lee daehwi

december 20th

worried about woojin’s disappearance he went to look for him at the same park that woojin went to,

he unknowingly meets the same guy who took woojin and asks if he’s seen a boy about “yay tall and sounds like a dolphin when he screams”

the guy doesn’t respond and keeps staring at him, wth this guy is so creepy????

“ah i’m guessing you haven’t i’ll take my leave now, thank you for your time.” turning around to leave, he feels a hand take hold of his wrist

“i know where he is,”

“AH REALLY? CAN YOU TAKE ME TO HIM, PLEASE MISTER”

the guy smiles mysteriously, leads daehwi to where woojin is supposedly at and daehwi never ever came back either

“3”

day 9 - park jihoon

december 21st

tired after his boxing competition in london, he packs his bags and waits for his manager to finish whatever he’s doing.

knowing how long this manager usually takes, he finds a place to sit in the lobby of the hotel he resided in, and closes his eyes for a small little nap

a black figure slowly creeps up to him and is about two seats away, reaching out

“hey jihoon-ssi, hey, wake up.” waking up to someone tapping his shoulders, he sees his manager in front of him, “let’s go we’re almost late for our flight”

the black figure has hid behind a newspaper so he wouldn’t get caught,

heading out and arriving at the airport, the manager leaves to go check in for them first, letting jihoon take his time walking

lost in the crowd of people, the same black figure was following jihoon, feeling something was suspicious he walks faster and looks for a restroom to wash his face and clear his mind, thinking he was imagining the feeling

walking into the restroom he unexpectedly gets jumped and gets knocked out by a chloroform cloth, the same black figure getting up and cleaning the ‘dust’ off his hands and pants,

“2”

day 10 - kang daniel

december 24th

coming back from his b-boy practices, he feels a little hungry, going to the convenience store down the street from his house, he buys a few snacks and drinks

walking out of the store with his phone in hand dialing seongwoo’s number, to check in on him and to just chat, he almost crashes into a guy

taking the faster way home, he walks by an alleyway right as seongwoo picks up, and gets dragged inside,

struggling to be set free, he turns and sees the face of his kidnapper,

and finds out who it is as his eyes widens, dropping his phone and his bag of snacks,  

“You- mmph”

“hello? daniel? are you there?”

and he hears a muffled voice speak into the phone,

“1”

-

seongwoo feels frantic, all his friends have gone missing

what will he do now, what if something happens to them, is this all a dream?

is this a christmas prank? this is a cruel prank then

seongwoo, not knowing what to do, wants to cry. not being able to sleep two nights in a row in worry of his friends’ safety.

day 11 - ong seongwoo

december 25th, christmas day

getting up out of his bed, he heads to his living room,

his house looking like a caveman ransacked his place in search for food, he grieves over his friends’ disappearance,

he receives a letter from an unknown person; inside it, in cutout letters from magazines, was spelled out

“0, you are next.”

thanks for reading!♡ omg plus, winter break is almost here, bless. im ready to watch the downfall of my grades throughout this week, ugh finals week im ready to fail every test given to me ((’:

RFA React to MC looking at Them like They’re the Entire Universe and More in a Photo

ok so this sounds like a dumb scenario but i just took a picture with a few friends of mine a couple hours ago and in the picture i'm looking at my boyfriend while laughing and it looks like i'm in love with him (which i am) and also like he's my entire world and more so i wanted to make this a scenario of sorts idk man

if you all like this enough i could do v + saeran and possibly vanderwood but it really depends haha. that’s all for now please enjoy! YOOSUNG: -y'all went to a fishing trip with the RFA that saeyoung suggested as a way to get 'closer' -yoosung was really excited because he got to spend time with some of his favorite people ever as well as you!!! what else in the entire world could he have wanted more than that?? -so you two packed up what little essentials for fishing you had and headed out for the day -when you finally got there most of the time was spent trying to explain to jumin that no, he couldn't pay someone else to do this for him and then at other times helping calm down zen after a fish came too close to his 'precious' face -even though there were moments where jaehee looked like she was about to kill saeyoung for throwing a fish into her lap it was a fun time -to commemorate the day together y'all decided to take a picture together with your phone -while saeyoung was focusing the camera yoosung said something funny that made you burst out in a small fit of giggles while staring at him -before you could even prepare the picture was taken and you felt yourself grow embarrassed at the outcome -everyone was smiling and doing cute lil hand poses but you -you were definitely smiling but you weren't looking at the camera, instead you were staring at yoosung with this sparkle in your eye that caused a deep red to cover your face -"the way she looks at him, it's almost as if though he's her entire world and more." jaehee said while hiding a small smile -"get you a girl that looks at you like MC looks at yoosung." saeyoung said while choking back a small laugh -"wow! look at mc you guys, looking at yoosung like she's in love with him!" zen continued on with a small smile -"maybe she looks at him like that because they are in love??" jumin said in a confused tone, obviously not catching onto the jokes -a few of the members groaned at jumin's obliviousness as they looked over at yoosung who was smiling at the picture on your phone fondly -you peeked at his face while trying to calm the violent blush painting your features -"it's funny you're looking at me like i'm the universe and more, when you're even more than that to me." -cue everyone literally blushing and internally dying at how precious their youngest RFA member still is -yoosung now keeps that photo framed in his office, even after years of taking it, just so he can be able to see your precious face looking at only him like that

ZEN: -aight so this man loves taking selfies -it didn't take you that long to figure that out -at every moment of every day you were together he would come up to take 'unexpected' pics of you -but he was a fool! after a week of surprise selfies you got used to it, and could now strike a cute pose to match zen's beauty in every picture -one day y'all were just having a normal rehearsal dinner with his cast when zen (who else would it have been??) declared they should take a group picture that he could post on social media to hype up the release of the musical -so everybody agreed and begin to come close together to take the picture -zen unexpectedly put his arm around you and said something along the lines of "smile, my beautiful princess" -so ofc you were all smiley and blushy while looking over at him -before you even had time to snap back to reality the flash went off and the picture was taken -fRICK -everybody was passing around zen's phone looking at the picture making vague offhand comments about 'the look in mc's eyes' when it finally got to you and zen -zen stared at it for a second, a wide smile pulling at his features before he looked over at you with a small blush painting his cheeks -"what??" you finally said -"look at the way you're looking at me babe." -he handed you his phone and you looked over at yourself -your eyes were all glazed over because of the flash and a warm smile was on your face all while you stared at a gorgeous zen smiling at the camera looking like the most beautiful man in the world -"ah, true love." a co-star commented -you were beyond embarrassed!! the way you were looking at zen was so precious and whimsical and god it was just so embarrassing -"do you really love me so much that you look at me like i'm the entire night sky babe??? aahhh that's so sweet of you. it makes the beast inside of me awaken just a tad-" -"zEN PLEASE" -he has the pic as his profile picture on all his social media accounts, each one zoomed in onto your face and eyes, staring lovingly at his gorgeous face JAEHEE: -you guys rarely took pictures together since y'all were so busy with the cafe all the time -but today was a special day!! -it was the one year anniversary of the cafe opening and you saw it necessary to take a picture to commemorate such a big milestone -jaehee was a little hesitant but agreed on the terms that some would be professional and others would be silly -so y'all set up a camera on a stand and put it on a timer and started taking a bunch of silly pics together, some of them being professional -you didn't realize even realize it but at one point all you were doing was laughing at jaehee trying to push all her hair out of her face -when the little photo shoot of sorts ended y'all went into your shared apartment and started looking over them together -the first few were cute, just mundane peace signs and sweet smiles -then at one point jaehee's bangs went in front of her face and you looked like you were dying of laughter -towards the end of the of the pictures there was one particular one that jaehee looked at for a long time -it was one where she was laughing while tucking her hair back into place and you were smiling fondly while looking at her with such a loving gaze -she blushed and said nothing and just continued on to look through them, commenting now and again just how silly some of them were -the picture was never brought up again but a few weeks later you found out jaehee had not only put it up as her profile picture in the chat room but also printed a copy and stuck it neatly on your bedside table -you didn't say anything about it but every time you saw it you were embarrassed but also a little glad to know that it was clear to see just how much you loved her JUMIN: -the only pictures that are ever released the public of you two are serious ones or ones of you both looking absolutely gorgeous while getting off your private jet or coming home from the airport -but there have been dOZENS of pictures of you that jumin has always kept hidden from the world and all of his friends -pictures only he could ever see. -these pictures were usually taken during silly photo shoots, a small thing you both did every month -you let him try to take pictures of you just smiling and he struggles but he's trying his best to capture your cute lil poses stop teasing him!! -most of the time you're the one taking pictures of him struggling to do a peace sign but other times you take pictures of you both doing cute poses or kissing one another -one time v offered to take pictures as a way to celebrate your wedding anniversary and you both agreed because v was a close friend and jumin wanted a chance to see his beautiful partner in wedding attire again -so you two began doing the photo shoot with serious and sweet poses -one photo was of jumin tipping your chin up to meet his gaze -another was of him wrapping his arms around your waist and laying his head on your shoulder and there were dozens of others alike to those two -but then in some you both were making stupid faces to each other and then finally, in the last one jumin said something that made your heart curl -"i love you with all my heart mc, i wish i could marry you over and over and over again, just so i could see your precious face smiling at me while i slipped the ring onto your finger. is that selfish of me? i hope you feel the same, my love. let us spend the rest of our lives together, a life that will hopefully be filled with all your silly jokes and faces. things i fell in love with just as much as i fell in love with you. happy anniversary darling, i love you." -you were on the verge of tears and had no words to even explain what you were feeling but you just let out a small chuckle while staring lovingly at him while he looked over at the camera -next thing you know the flash went off and you were now going over all the pictures together with jumin -all of them were absolutely gorgeous (what else did you expect of v mc??) but your favorite had to be the one where you were sticking your tongue out at jumin and he was doing the same to you -his favorite was the very last one -one where you were looking at him with so much love in your eyes he could practically feel it radiating off the camera -though you were embarrassed you were really happy -he soon after put the picture everywhere he could -in his office, in your office, in your bedroom, in a giant portrait right above the sofa -everywhere -though it was embarrassing it made you happy so it was alright SAEYOUNG: -he has like a thousand and one pics of you on his phone but little to none of you both -all the pictures he has of you range from you in sexy lingerie to a bad angle of you sneezing while brushing your teeth -he loves all of them just the same though -one day he wanted to do a cosplay photo shoot with you which you agreed to since most of the time it was fun teasing each other back and forth about just how short your maid skirts were -so he set up a camera you didn't even know existed and immediately started posing all cute and such -you tried to follow his lead but fell behind after a while and just stood back basking in all of his cute and over the top poses -at one point all you were doing was laughing while he made the most ridiculous 'sultry' faces he could at the camera -when it was over you two stayed in your costumes and went over the pictures -you couldn't stop laughing at all his silliness and he couldn't stop laughing because you were laughing!! -it took forever because of your constant giggles and chuckles but you both made it through all of the photos -you caught what was just a glimpse of one more photo which was just of you smiling at saeyoung while he side eyed you, a smile of his own pulling at his soft features -you felt your heart leap in your throats as he wrapped his arms around your waist and kisses your forehead -"thank you, mc. i'm really happy." was all he said as he pulled you closer towards his torso -you hugged him back and you both stayed there for a while, just embracing one another silently -a few weeks later you came into your shared bedroom casually, almost missing the giant portrait of you two that was covering up an entire wall -"saeyoung?" -"yeeesss honey??" -"why, why is there an entire wall covered in a picture of me staring at you." -"because the way you were looking at me was just so cute i couldn't just let the opportunity of your cute smiling face pass by so easily!! look at you!! look at me!! look at our outfits! this is the best picture we've ever taken together." -"oh. saeyoung?" -"yes?" -"i hate that you are the love of my life so much."

romeo - namjoon

idk how to label this because romeo and juliet is obviously Straight so like im just calling it romeo namjoon so i hope you enjoy!! again, it’s gender neutral so!!

hey people i submitted all my college apps so i think i can maybe try harder with this blog

okay so for this au!! you and namjoon are fated to be together

the kim family is really really prominent in society today

not so much political or social, but economically-speaking they’re one of the top players across the board

his family controls the shipping market, whether it be post, or air, or sea

they control it all

almost everything goes through the kim family shipping industry if it isn’t public post

and that’s just the domestic market, they also do a whole ton of international business too, and have a presence all across the globe- from china, to the usa, to germany

growing up, namjoon knew that he was going to inherit the business

his entire life his family prepped him for the business, whether it be training in how to be polite and diplomatic, to going to the most prestigious schools in the country to make sure that he was over and beyond when it came to areas like economics and maths

namjoon’s entire existence revolved around being the heir for the powerful kim business, and it was almost like he wasn’t allowed to exist

he was there for the money, the power, the glory

never for himself

he always lived in the shadow of his parents, or the business

as he got older, things got worse

because more expectations were pushed on him, and suddenly the 97 in differential equations wasn’t good enough, he needed 100

and days where he used to sit in his room, messing around with a music program on his computer… he now needs to force himself to meet anyone and everyone who might have some relation to his future in the business world, half of them who are over the age of like… seventy-two

and as he got older, things also got worse because of well…

you

well, not exactly you, but your family

your family runs the most well-known media outlet in the country

and that’s just a nice way to put it

you guys are basically the paparazzi, and although there are other, smaller groups around, none of them compare to your family

seeing as how the kims are the most influential people in the shipping business, and some of the most powerful people in the business playing field, so your basically always trailing them wherever they go

it’s never a role that you wanted to be a part of

you always wanted to be a normal kid, with a normal life

but you remember one of your first gifts being a camera, and not like a cute lil baby camera, but a nice, expensive one

and you were like anyway i was like five but…

so your entire life you’ve been told that the most important goal is to find the truth, no matter what the cost

but your family definitely stretched that a bit, and you can’t help but think they invade to many private lives just to get a story, just to find anything that will make the public go absolutely wild

because of this, you’ve run into namjoon more than a few times

never personally, and never to chit-chat, but simply because you were on the scene, your camera held in your shaking hands as you tried to snap pictures of him getting out of the airport

you kind of… think he’s cute…

but it’s not like you could ever approach him

you know his family hates your family’s guts…

and your family isn’t necessarily a fan of the kims either

your family just sticks with them for the money, there’s no idolization there, actually quite the opposite, they dislike the kims for their disillusion towards the general public

when you sit down and think about it, more of the stories your family has published have been scandalous

which you know is because the public likes that…

but also because your family wants to see them pay for their general disregard and mistreatment of the public

because the kims are notorious for having prices much too high for the average person to pay continually, and since they have a monopoly on the industry, there is no competition and no incentive to work better

and so to say that there’s some animosity between your families… would be right

but you’re drawn to namjoon

he seems different from his family

where they all appear stiff and cold, his smile could light up an entire room

you’ve never seen him speak rudely to any of the paparazzi, or the public

he handles himself so professionally, and when you have had the privilege to sit in on press conference or public business meetings… he always is polite and courteous, and always listens to what everyone else has to say

and you kinda have a lil crush on him

but you’re just the shy kid behind the camera…

so like, he’d never notice you anyway

but then…

an invitation to a party shows up on your doorstep one day

your crazy mother realizes that ah yes, a party for the most socially elite means that you can get so much dirt on people there, so she’s like haha… you gotta go

and you’re like can i not i would rather sit inside and marry leo off to selena because they are my otp,,,

and your mom is like anyway you better figure out what you’re wearing

you wanna know how the hell you got invited in the first place, but you guess because your family is socially prominent you were somehow invited too…

okay so party time

it’s at some nightclub??

your girl is underage as heck so idk what they’re about

anyway i imagine some great dance music would be playing, with the bass super boosted, like idk… everytime we touch by cascada

and the lights are all dark but they have strobe lights going i think that’s what they’re called at least

and it’s, like i said, super dark, so it’s not like you can see anyone, and you maybe forgot your camera

and like there are so many people!! no matter where you go, there are at least twenty people accidentally bumping into you and it’s all a little overwhelming, so you grab a drink (grape juice) and head over to the back corner of the club where it’s less noisy, and there are less people around to bother you,,,

finally, some peace and quiet…

you close your eyes and take a deep breath

your parents would flip if you came home early, and there’s no use being outside, alone, in the dark, when everything is closed…

so you stay put, instead rummaging around your bag to see if you can find your earbuds and phone so you can just chill by yourself

you grab onto what you assume is your earbuds, but before you can pull them out, someone bumps into you, with enough impact that you topple forward

the person, apparently startled just as much as you, loses their balances, and falls on the ground right beside you

you look up

and everything slows down

it’s the part of everytime we touch where she’s like your arms are my castle btw

you blink, your eyes unable to focus in the dim light, and when your vision finally clears, you recognize the person to be none other than kim namjoon…

you startle, quickly pulling away from him, your face red in embarrassment

namjoon frowns, clearly confused, but then a look of recognition spreads across his face and he smiles a little shyly

“i think i know you.”

you nod slowly, not taking your gaze off of him

“i think i know you too…”

he stands up, then offers you a hand, which you take gratefully

he coughs awkwardly and you put your hand on the back of your neck

“um… i’m namjoon.”

and you introduce yourself too, and you almost feel the need to apologize because you’re sure that you and your family have caused him so much trouble

but you don’t know what to say, but you stay silent, unsure of what you should do next

namjoon doesn’t say anything at first, but then he sees something on the floor, and bends over to pick it up

it’s your earbuds

he hands them over with a small smile “i had the same idea.”

“parties aren’t really my thing…” you laugh softly

“mine either.” he pauses, shoving his hands in his pockets before adding, “so if you want to… maybe head outside?”

your brows furrow

“god that probably sounded creepy, i meant, like get out of here, i know a cool little diner that’s open twenty-four hours, the coffee sucks, but the dessert is pretty great.”

you laugh and nod sheepishly “yah, that sounds nice.”

so you and namjoon dip out of the party, and head down to the cafe where you talk the entire night away

you exchange numbers too hehe

anyway, as the weeks progress, you two talk more and more, and things get a little flirtier and flirtier

and you’ve become glued to your phone, and your cousin, yoongi, is like, “anyway who’s the hot babe and do they have a brother”

and youre like “yoongi,,, plz,,, it is not like that, namjoon is just a- ooPS”

cause you had namjoon under a code name like “B)” or something awful like that and you thought that you had this all under wraps but now you just basically admitted everything to yoongi isn’t that just the greatest

“kim namjoon? like the guy our family is so intent on stalking and tarnishing his name and everything? the kim namjoon who wears beanie when it is obviously bucket hat season?? that kim namjoon?”

“um…”

“he totally has a hot cousin.”

you blink “so wait, you’re not… telling on me?”

yoongi shrugs “i don’t see why i should.”

and you smile and hug him and yoongi just laughs and ruffles your hair

yoongi is the one who covers for you when you sneak out to see namjoon

and boy howdy do you see namjoon a lot

like yoongi always drives you to meet up with him, whether it be the diner, or the park, or the city!!

and he always makes awful excuses when your family asks where you are

and namjoon’s cousin, jungkook, does the same thing for him, and the two of them often meet up and laugh about it over bitter coffee

you and namjoon are so in love though, and it’s a passionate affair, not for the cheating aspect, god no, but because everything must be done in secret

every time you press your lips to his, you’re afraid that suddenly your mother will walk around the corner and rip you away from his arms

and when you two are out and about, walking down the streets, your hold his hand so tightly, so fearful that you could be torn away from him at any second

every time you call him it’s late at night, because you’re scared that your father might accidentally stop and listen in when you’re least expecting it, and your entire world will crumble to pieces

namjoon is the same way though, extra careful, extra cautious, and he always says it, says he hates how you two have to hide your relationship just because your guys’ parents hate each other

but it’s something he’s willing to hide if it means seeing you every day, being with you every day

except that you two aren’t as careful as you should hope to be, because one day you leave your phone unlocked and it just so happens that your mother was cleaning up your room a little bit, and she picked up the phone and read the messages and realized that these gentle “i love yous” were all sent to none other than kim namjoon

and she hurries down the steps, your phone in her hand, cursing and shouting and asking you what in the hell you’re thinking

and your eyes widen in horror as you realize your mistake and you rush over to try and grab the phone from her hands, but in a fit of rage, she throws the phone down and it’s probably an awful iphone or something so the entire thing shatters in a million pieces

this of course is your breaking point, and you start to sob, begging your mother to change her mind, trying to tell her that there’s nothing wrong about this, but she doesn’t listen, instead storms off to go talk to your father

you kneel down and hold the broken phone in your hands, continuing to cry harder

yoongi, startled by the commotion, comes racing in, and when he sees you, sees the scene, everything clicks

he holds you in his arms and promising things will be okay but you know they will not

after that, your parents ban you from leaving the house

you are confined to your room, and if you want to leave your room, you have to stay within the house, even being limited to indoors, as in, like can’t even see the garden

at first, namjoon thinks you’re ignoring him or something and his heart breaks because it’s not like you to ignore him, ever

but yoongi texts jungkook who tells namjoon the situation, and from that moment on, he is planning a way to get you back

one night, it’s been like a week since the incident, you are sitting on your bed, watching psych

when you hear a faint knock

you think it must be a squirrel or something like that outside?

so you ignore it

but the noise continues

so you head over to your window, and step out into the balcony, and standing there, with a large bag slung over his shoulders, is namjoon

he waves, and you cup your hands over your mouth

“are you coming?”

“like hell i’m gonna trust you to catch me!”

you laugh, and the tears have already started to prick the corners of your eyes

he smiles softly “i love you”

“I love you too namjoon…”

and im saying the balcony isn’t super high so you’re like fxxk it and you jump and he catches you and you’re both safe and sound

and when you are safely on your feet, you lean up and kiss him and he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close

and it feels like you kiss him for an eternity, and you want to kiss him for an eternity, but he says there’s no time, and that you two need to hurry before someone realizes something is up

he says that his friend hoseok is offering up his place for you two to stay

and with that, you two vanish into the night

obviously both sets of parents find out, and it doesn’t take them long to realize where you two are hiding

but namjoon is like nah not coming home until you recognize our love,,,

and so both parents are like our children and their happiness are most important so they are willing to make amends

you and namjoon come back home but he was digging the cute apartment vibe so he asks if you two can move out together if he still decides to manage the business in the near future

and your parents are all !! about it at first but they agree because you two are most important

and you and namjoon are happily in love and you have a cute apartment where you two snuggle and kiss all the time mwah mwah

i asked @softbams to ramble about bambam just bc i love seeing other ppl love bambam as much as i do and now its my turn so here we go,,, warning i get soft easily,, , dont hurt me,,,,

hnggnhkgsnj so like BAMBAM right,,, he’s,,, a DORK there is literally no other word i could use to better describe him and ill have you know i may seem to throw around the word dork online, specifically here on my blog but in actuality i use it extremely sparingly for those people that are so dfjklshjkf dUmb but i love them so much??? like ill only call my closest few friends dorks, i just use it a lot here bc i post about what i love and i love!!! bambam!!!! idk ppl express their love in different ways and “i love you” just seems so overused and meaningless and calling people a dork is just more me and honestly its the most endearing thing i could say about someone ANYWAYS so like why is he a dork??? he’s so wild in like every way my first impression of this kid was literally him spazzing on the floor and dabbing while got6 hyped him on and i was like??? THAT ONE. I WANT TO STAN THAT ONE I- I WANT THE TRASH CHILD thats literally how it went down and as you can clearly see i haven’t changed lanes since,, honestly to me the most attractive trait in any person ever is stupidity, and i dont mean shitty grades i mean like their sense of humour!! someone who isn’t afraid to make fun of themselves and be loud and wild and random and is just a little (or a lot) drunk on life every now and then, its just so,,, refreshing??? maybe its bc im like that and i find it hard to find people who can keep up with me in a sense but honestly with bambam its like im the one trying to keep up with him. it’s just so endearing to watch him screaming and roll on the floor and??? to watch him bambam around the place. he’s just so funny and it always makes me smile like an idiot??? and it seems like its not just me bc!! the rest of got7 seems the same!! his happiness and silliness is honestly so contagious like they call jackson the moodmaker and yeah he is (i LOVE HIM TO PIECeS hes a dork too) but like have you ever realised that like 90% of the time yugyeom is being a crackhead, bambam is like within a leg’s distance away?? and i say leg bc DAMN have you seen bambam’s legs, he prides himself in his legs WITH GOOD REASON TOO and he always has to show them off with those tight ass leather pants like calm down you’re killing me here. but ofc he’ll never calm down the boy has no control and i LIVE FOR IT bc its always unpredictable??? like you get bored of the same thing after a while but bambam is always so new and wild and!! keeps you on your toes!!! hes just so exciting??? and like omg i mentioned yugyeom before hE REALLY LOVES YUGYEOM (me too man, me too,,,) AND!!! ALL OF HIS MEMBERS!! like whenever the situation is tense he’d do something stupid to make them all laugh and the way he talks about his members??? its SO heartwarming to see him love them all so much?? i mean they practically raised the kid, like jackson and mark especially bc foreign line stuck together as trainees as TRAINEES do you hear this shit they have stuck together for YEARS before got7 debuted and they still love each other to death AMERITHAIKONG IS FRIENDSHIP GOALS IM SOBBING I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH like you know they’re soulmates when one gets a laptop thrown at him but he still looks up to him as a hyung alkjhlkgahsdfgs ill never live that down sorry its too funny,,, also like he may be a fucking idiot at times but i dont think enough people take him seriously?? like he has this mature side to him and its so nice to see that even though we all joke that he has no chill, he does actually have it when necessary?? like!! in that recent thai interview and he talked about his mum oh my god he loves his family sO MUCH I AM SOFT literally like he bought his mum who biases jaebum lmfAO a house bc they grew up under a tin roof WHAT AN UPGRADE and he bought his sister a car and like hes so modest about his achievements too like in that one hard carry episode where he and jackson in the back of a taxi at 4am had to take turns boasting and trying not to be modest, he had to brag about his achievements, this episode was so memorable to me bc only one of them was actually about him??? he mentioned that something along the lines of 8,000 fans went to the airport in thailand to greet him but then he mentioned about the concert tickets that sold out but it was GOT7′S concert like he had to mention his group bc they achieved that TOGETHER and like he then said he bought a house for his mum and a car for his sister like he was meant to brag about how much money he had but instead he said the good things he did so generously for his family im??? so soft??? his love for his family is SO SO SO precious (like him) and when he talked in that thai interview i was talking about earlier (i apologise that i keep changing subjects so quickly this entire thing is so messy) he talked about how his mum is the reason for his dreams to be a performer and how he wanted to provide for his family and dAMN HE DID!!! but like omfg hes so passionate about what he does??? its so so so inspiring to see, he went to korea at age FOURTEEN without knowing the language, the culture or really anything bc he went to rain’s concert and was so inspired and learned all his dances and songs and like it kinda reaches out to me bc like??? he started off as nothing but a random international fanboy and LOOK HOW FAR HES COME IT GETS ME SO EMOTIONAL!! and his mum kept on telling him that its ok if he didnt make it, that he could come home if it didnt work out, she’d welcome him with open arms but he kept going!!! bc he loves music!!! and hes so talented!!! and hes just so passionate,,, and so determined too!! such a hard worker!! like i dont think most of you realise just how intensive trainee programs are??? like he was fourteen and training 12 hours a day, he said it was from 10am to 10pm every day, and now he gets even LESS sleep like hes constantly talking about how tired it is like let the poor baby sleep oh my god he deserves rest but apparently thats too much to ask for in the kpop industry,, but no matter how tired he is he always has tons of energy on stage and off stage to make everyone laugh and keep everyone in high spirits and like he’s actually a ray of sunshine, a precious angel, a blessing to this world oml im rambling but thats fine that was the point of this lmfao i just!! MY HEART IS SWELLING FOR HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM!! and everything he does gets me so soft like i literally have an instagram saved collection of his smile that makes me smile and not like his smirk (which is,,, whew,,, REALLY attractice im weak for smirks) but like his full teeth, face wrinkled and eyes scrunched up smiles where he looks so happy and cute and i wanna pinch his cheeks hes just SO CUTE and whenever i see him smile like that i swear 7 years are added to my lifespan and it just MAKES ME SMILE SO MUCH bambam always makes me so happy like i think my parents i convinced i have a boyfriend at the amount of random smiling i do at my phone but like 90% of the time its just bambam,, hes just so aesthetically pleasing like we all know he is the fashion KING, like his style is so stunning but like i think his visuals are highly underrated tbh he had THE most iconic glo-up of all time, i remember during early realgot7 episodes he’d talk about how he wanted to no longer be the cute/aegyo type member and he wanted to be sexy and charismatic and oH bOy iS hE sExY aNd ChArIsMaTiC,,, if only the members that kept telling him he couldnt and that he was adorable would see him now, still just as cute and squishy as before but also a fucKIGNF BEAST????? like i think every time he does that prrah in never ever a part of my soul leaves my body. idk if thats even related. but like WOW HES SO PRETTY EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS JUST SO ATTRACTIVE PHYSICALLY like he has rlly pretty eyes, esp w/ contacts they really just make you notice them so much more and his lips?? everyone talks about his lips but NOT ENOUGH like theyre so plump and kissable and honestly i could kiss them all day if hed let me omg is that a bruno mars lyric ANYWAYS if you do era killed us all, dont deny it, even jinyoung noticed his lips i just LOVE BAMBAMS LIPS and like his JAWLINE is so sharp it could cut a bitch it just defines his face so well and his makeup too like bambam’s makeup is always so on point, kudos to the stylist noona like its not that he needs makeup, makeup needs HIM like it compliments him so well  and adds to his,, aura?? idk about you but he owns the stage, like he has this aura to him he has made the stage his bitch, he’s not on the stage he owns it do you HEAR ME???? HE!!! IOWNS!! THE STAGE!! his dancing is so mesmerising?? and his voice??? he has every ahgase wrapped around his long ass legs finger whether you like it or not. and what i was saying about makeup like without makeup he transforms into the cutest, squishiest bean that i just want to PROTECC like his dUaLiTy you can hear that about any kpop idol but still, bambams duality is so crazy, he’s just....so sOFT AND FLUFFY offstage (when he isnt screaming like a maniac, but even then,) his laugh. is so cute, and so contagious i feel like ive said that already but its not any less true and like barefaced bambam just being barefaced and wholesome and cute and????? im??? adjhgjkahkldghalkj,,,, he just,, just him smiling makes my day fUCK ive said that already but as you can see i am whipped asf for his smile i,, and also how hes so bad at aegyo when he needs to do it but he has natural aegyo when hes not?? ??? ? HES SO CONFUSING i love it honestly i love him i just ugghhhhhhh. and hes so talented too!! SUCH AN UNDERRATED DANCER GOSH he has been dancing since he was a really smol bean and HES SO SHARP AND FLUID AT THE SAME TIME like nobody appreciates his dancing as much as they should and that makes me really sad bc its so enthralling to watch him dance, he really puts his all into it you can see it, but nOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT ENOUGH???? WHERE are your fuckign eYES YALL ARE BLIND AND MISSING OUT and his voice oh my lord his voice makes me fEeL thInGs especially when he does that thing when he talks all low and raspy and his accent is attractive too and like i would pay good money just for bambam to just talk to me like that all day like sure he isnt the best rapper in the industry, jyp never really had impressive rappers until stray kids but like he does his job as a performer well and UGH HIS VOICE IM WEAK IN THE KNEES like i die on the inside every time he says baby or honey or smth like that and usually i hate those specific pet names, but have yall seen that video of him saying “goodbye honey! awh, im your honey?” or just him saying honey in whos that or jsut AJAKLKAJKJKGFJ HIS!! VOICE!! and when he says double b i just FEEL his confidence and that aura i was talking about before now i have the habit of yelling out or at least mouthing double b along with him its actually everything??? omg and his meme game like i know i already rambled about how dumb he was but like specifically his meme game and his TWITTER OML like the whole dabbing thing, idk who started it but he made dabbing his bitch like he gave zero shits what other people thought, dAB ON THEM HATERS AMIRITE, and even on that one vlive where he claimed that dab was history he ended up saying he IS the history of dab and then dabbed in the next japan promotions with yugyeom anyways. the dab is not dead. the dab will never die. and his twitter holy fuck did you guys see the whole steven deng fiasco where he agreed to his petition to rename bambam to dabdab bc he couldnt be stopped then he INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS AKA DABDAB ON LIVE TV WHAT AN IDIOT IM SO IN LOVE and like in the video where everyone was saying you dont pick your bias, your bias picks you (bambam didnt “pick” me, he grabbed my hair and yanked me down into hell) he fucking said “i pick you” like hES THE KING OF FANSERVICE FOR A REASON OMG hes always flirting with his fans on twitter and calling them baby or babygirl and like at fansigns and concerts whenever a fan goes on stage with him he just flirts with them so much and calls them his queen, his everything etc, just i cant even begin to list all the times where he flirts with ahgases idk if hes naturally flirty or he just likes to give the fans what they want but BOTH IS GOOD TBH bc flirty ppl are attractive and like if its just for fanservice then that just proves how much he appreciates and cares for his fans like wow he really loves ahgase?? REMEMBER THAT CONCERT WHERE HE TEARED UP AND CALLED AHGASE “THE BEST GIRLFRIENDS EVER” I GOT SO SOFT HES SO GENUINE aKDFJLSJFLgdfklgjalfk and back to how stupid he is like he is also a petty ass bitch like he casually exposes his members a lot i LIVE FOR IT like the whole mark throwing a laptop thing or like other shit i cant remember off the top of my head and hes just so sassy and petty all the time like i love it so much oh my gosh sassy bam is an underrated concept bc savage jinyoung steals all the spotlight rip :(( nothing against jinyoung i love him to bits too but!! sassy!bam is just, my will to live tbh oh also can we talk about how hes literally a model like he made the camera his bitch too not just is his face gorgeous and his makeup stunning and his hair on fleek and his style amazing but like you can feel his aura through the camera too, he just stares with this LOOK its like hes actually looking at you his visuals are SO POWERFUL again not talked about enough bambam in general isnt talked about enoguh outside of being a meme and :((( it makes me sad esp when people still baby him like no hes a grown ass man hes had his glo up like have you seen him??? sure he can be effortlessly cute but also effortlessly sexy like he really is the entire package and oh my fuckign god he LOVES CATS HE REALLY IS THE ULTIMATE PACKAGE like everyone knows about pudding and latte but even before then he loved jb’s cat nora and apparently nora liked bambam more than jb and would wake him up at 9am every day and bambam would play with her for a while then go back to sleep and nora would sneak into his bed and omfg bambam and cats, two of my favourite things wow what a concept?? i just DIED when i saw his insta story updates calling his cats his babies or his sons and its just so precious i want to cry. speaking of social media again can we just appreciate that he runs most of his social media in ENGLISH, not hhe language he usually speaks (korean) or his first language (thai), but ENGLISH, just to accommodate for the international fans, hes going outside of his comfort zone and its so considerate of him and that once again proves how hes the sweetest person ever and loves ahgase so much and i feel so honoured to be an ahgase and i love BAMBAM, kunpimook bhuwakul, dabdab, double b, lil’ shit whatever you wanna call him, so much, and this got way too fucking long and random and the subjects changed too much lmao its rlly messy but like its a ramble so there you go i like bambam im out

so i was having a conversation with @chogisad​ about uhh ot9 emo-l times so i really wanted to make this post to just… jot down all my feelings about ot9 and exo and address all the negative energies regarding everything that’s been happening as of late? and i know that this really isn’t necessary in any way shape or form, but i really just wanted to do it for me. so i guess this is gonna be a really long post filled with a lot of hope and optimism and positivity for exo’s present and future as ot9 and if you’re interested in that, then by all means continue reading under the cut~

i remember back in 2015 when we experienced our first major Yixing Drought. his studio had just opened in china and he was being flooded with jobs and all the opportunities working in his homeland offered that korea could never give him. i remember being so endlessly proud of him but missing him a lot too. 

because here the rest of exo were in korea doing cf’s and other work and then they went on to do the japan tour without yixing :( and it hurt? because performing at the tokyo dome was such a big deal to them but there were only 8 members and it hurt so much not seeing yixing with them for like 1-2 months? or more? i don’t remember how long the drought lasted but it was our first real Yixing Drought in the fandom. 

and i remember seeing all these theories and conspiracy posts how sm was trying to push yixing out of exo and there was just so much ot8 propaganda- regardless if it came from hurting xingmi’s or actual ot8 stans… there was just so much negativity surrounding everything because yixing just… wasn’t there. and we as fans knew next to nothing and sm, as always, kept their official announcement last minute and vague as hell like when they announced yixing wouldn’t be participating in the japan tour bc of schedules AFTER selling tickets for the concerts DESPITE yixing being like the most popular member in japan. and it was fucking scary. 

hell, we just lost tao after cmb and here we are freshly ot9 and hoping and praying that the next comeback we wouldn’t lose another member. yixing as the last chinese member standing- the only true mark that sm had ever tried breaking into the chinese market with exo at all. and we were scared and terrified because what if sm was pushing him out? what if they were trying to faze him out of exo completely?

and i remember sing for you being ot9 but promoting as x8 members and i kept waiting for someone to mention yixing but they never did? and i was so frustrated bc all these other young groups can mention members who were missing because of injuries or schedules but why couldn’t exo??

doesn’t this all sound familiar? 

but sfy had that memorable showcase moment with yixing breaking and crying and telling us and his members how sorry he was but he reminded us that he was exo too. and bbh was there to reassure us that yixing may be busy overseas, but wherever he goes- yixing still wears the exo name proudly and does this entire fandom proud too. 

and i remember the days leading up to MAMAs in 2015 and we were all sitting there staring at our screens with baited breath waiting to find yixing airport pictures because there was no evidence he was going to hong kong for MAMAs yet and really? how the hell could exo go to this major awards ceremony without yixing? but we were so scared. but he pulled through and he showed up and he gave his finger wagging speech and we all cried and it was good and we were happy and things were okay.

and then things got better when ex’act dropped with The Peak ot9 moments of life and we had ot9 THRIVING! we had family pictures, xingdae came back from the dead, baekxing were inseparable, even chanxing were good and well and capturing hearts of fans. like it was just So Good!!! 

ex’act was really exo telling all of us to not worry. the members weren’t going anywhere. ot9 is here to stay as long as we would have them. and they loved us and they loved each other and everything would be okay. 

even though exo never mentions yixing when they win music shows like how other groups do, i think that’s just because those groups aren’t built the way exo were. i mean exo literally started as k and m and half their group was always away in china promoting because that was Their Job. and i think it’s just a different mentality you know? maybe exo always just knows that when they win, it’s for the whole group. that they don’t need to explicitly call out a missing member because We Are One or something lmao. and i remember during MAMAs 2013 when they won song of the year for growl… kyungsoo wasn’t there bc boy twisted his ankle to no end and had to go to the hospital. but i don’t think they mentioned him missing. and i think… that’s just how exo is. but idk. i think it’s something we’ll never know because we’re not in their minds. 

but we DO know that exo cherishes yixing so much. you can see it in their eyes whenever yixing does a speech in chinese and everyone is just so happy he’s there and they’re so proud of him. you can tell because they ALWAYS hand him the mic when he’s with them at music shows ALWAYS and they make sure he gets to say what he wants to say. and they cheer him on and they support his solo and they love him absolutely so so so much.

… and now here we are. 

and i know there are a lot of doubts and worries going into this repackage and everything. and i honestly don’t know how to start addressing things… but i really want to try. 

with kkb, we all knew it was heavily delayed. i think sm had full intentions of having an ot9 comeback with it being their 5th anniversary / 4th full album comeback. like… it was just common sense. but THAAD happened and political situations/international relations is just out of our/their control. china put a ban on skorea travel. there was a lot of negative energy surrounding it and yixing literally COULD NOT go to korea or even do anything related to exo (ex: the lotte world sponsorship and the amount of backlash that received because of china’s beef w/ lotte for giving up property for the missiles) 

anyways- what i’m trying to say is that sm tried. they delayed the comeback that was probably planned for early summer because they needed to see how this would all play out. they couldn’t do anything about it but wait. that was literally the only option. and yixing is in china with his own studio and he’s waiting too- but everyone has to keep proceeding with business as usual and that means yixing planning schedules that bleed into later months and that means sm going forth with x8 member comeback for kkb. 

and with how delayed kkb was and how sm needed to do exo’s repackage sooner rather than later (for the whole Drama of the Symbolism of the eclipse and shit) i think sm was really pressed for time and things were falling apart rather than together. yixing’s solo album was probably slated for late summer after the kkb comeback focusing his sales and promotions in china. then the repack would (my hope) be ot9 for september and all things would just happen as they should. but with the kkb delay, i think sm realized there wouldn’t be enough time for yixing’s solo. and maybe they thought it’d be best to push it to xingtober anyways. 

and god, im not saying sm makes good decisions because we all know that’s a crapshoot but what i’m saying is that maybe sm tried. there are a lot of things WE AS FANS DO NOT KNOW and just for my sanity, i want to give sm the benefit of the doubt this time. i honest to god think they tried the best they could with ot9 given all the shit that has happened this year. am i saying they did a good job? not really no. because im still stressed as hell and mad and dissatisfied with a lot of things… but i think they did try.

yixing has been seen traveling back and forth btwn china and korea a lot and we don’t know why. sm hasn’t released any official statement on yixing’s participation in the repackage… and i don’t know if that’s something that’s good or bad or if that should be expected or not?

but i honest to god do not believe in any of those posts saying that sm is trying to push yixing our or faze him out or anything. i just don’t. 

i trust yixing. just a few days ago he said he didn’t want to disappoint his group. HIS group. jongdae literally hung out with him and they had lunch together not too long ago either. like maybe a month ago? and it was so lowkey and so precious and so xingdae. and junmyeon said during their vlive that they’d be on stage with yixing soon. and i really truly believe them. because i think sm is trying too. i think all the boys are doing the best they can to handle whatever the hell the situation is. whether it’s political (THAAD) or schedules or other plans sm has… i think they’re trying. and i believe in them. 

and i know i probably sound recklessly optimistic and y’all can tell me that i’m boo boo the fool and that i’m gonna have all my hopes crushed and i’m gonna be disappointed… and maybe so. but i’m not strong enough to crush my own hopes when they already exist. and i have so much hope in exo, i don’t think i could ever willingly do that to myself and tell myself that this is gonna be worst case scenario. i need to believe in the best of our boys just for my sanity’s sake. and god… i really really hope and pray that this repackage is ot9 because i can’t imagine how i would feel if it wasn’t. AT LEAST ALLUDE TO OT9 YA KNOW??? THROW IN SOME LIKE NON SUBTLE HINTS LIKE STRAIGHT UP HAVE A SILHOUETTE OF YIXING SHOW AT THE END OF SMTH LIKE GUESS THAT POKEMON IDK??? JUST… i need to believe in something and i want to believe in ot9 and exo.

and maybe we get an ot9 repack or maybe we get an x8 comeback with a bomb ass yixing solo album soon and maybe we get ot9 back again someday soon and the fandom can breathe again.

sigh okay. i think i’ve said everything i’ve wanted to say. there are some other thoughts i have but i don’t want to mention them just because it’s not something i want to entertain until the mv drops and we know for sure what the deal is.

sigh okay. bye bye. too much writing.