Grian and Scar in their exciting new cosplay! ^^

hello tumblr am I doing this right idk

Thank you so much @rosesradio for this idea!

nico is emo. motorcycles are emo. leo would love a badass motorcycle boyfriend. nico on a motorcycle would cause gay panic which equals maximum valdangelo vibes

:)

*(sorry for low res, click image to enhance lol)*

#kei is the true low empathy mvp #doesn't connect emotionally still decides to believe being good is a choice

THIS is what it's all about kei could definitely have been a raging psychopath just like satou he could have joined satou and fucked shit up but he makes the ACTIVE choice to be a good person. (even if it's just for his benefit) he takes steps to rationalize doing good things and i think that makes them all the more meaningful. empathy isn't an automatic thing for some people but that doesn't mean they're a bad person

Can you link all your writing advise posts? Thank you!

Yup-!

Writing a Mental Breakdown

Writing Vivid Descriptions

Stop Using Passive Voice

I think I did one on writing moment to moment as well but I'm not sure where to find it-

I'm sorry, I'm sure there's more out there somewhere.

sphinx time

i uh drew the meme with an oc of mine

figured i should actually post and this is what i got

character is my OC Meo, who probably shouldn't have been able to get his hands on the shake in the first place and suffered for it (for legal reasons that's a joke)

Intro! in more depth

hello! i finally actually got tumblr wow. no more just lurking on the web version and getting screenshots from friends :)

my main focuses for this blog will probably be: (1) music, (2) ace/aro spectrum self-discovery stuff, (3) general stuff about psychology, (4) personal art projects. i also tend to ramble about random things i discover about being a person so if that shows up here don't be surprised. not sure if people usually make different blogs for these things but we'll see i guess.

my life: i am a university student! i'm a cognitive science major with psychology and neuroscience concentration and a gender studies minor. almost done with my bachelors yippee! i also have a radio show where i'm a DJ and get to propaganda the masses (/lh) yay. probably implied there but i am over 18 (i am 20). i also reside in the US. i am also queer. i use they/them pronouns and identify somewhere within the non-binary umbrella. probably agender. i am also currently unpacking my sexuality but i believe i am pretty strongly on the aromantic spectrum. i have been finding myself identifying more as just ambivalent to like everything gender/sexuality of late. i am a floating orb in space time idk man. most of why i made this account is to find more aromantic education resources.

i am also autistic and adhd, along with some crock pot of other stuff like anxiety depression ocd cptsd, and potentially bpd (also unpacking that one) and probably other things i am not remembering. insomnia if that counts i have incredibly chronic insomnia. some day maybe i will share my sleep charts where we see my average sleep hours are like 3 per night it's a nice chart.

i'm a leftist- or something around that area, terms can vary. if you are in any way a bigot, go away. this is not a place for homophobia, transphobia, racism, xenophobia, zionism, ableism, victim-blaming, sexism, or any other kind of discrimination etc. i strive to be aware of everything that i say but if there's ever any issues i am unaware of or could improve upon speaking about, feel free to educate me if you'd like!

i use tone indicators! will try to remember to put them in as much as i can if something needs it.

i do a project called 'an album a day' and i'm hoping to share that for 2024!! if you have any super awesome albums to share, send them to me any time! above is a picture of last year's album a day! I will tag those posts with #azantisalbumaday2024

some current music hyperfixations: the narcissist cookbook, careful gaze, bloodywood, fast animals and slow kids, set to stun, bring me the horizon, fall out boy, muse, the amazing devil, nothing but thieves, autoheart, vienna teng, art sorority, jean dawson, my chemcial romance, you me at six, and like a million other artists for whom i don't know enough of their discography to list them here.

the main genres i listen to are metalcore, rock adjacent anything, metal, idk how to describe genres. i really love most music but rock adjacent is my main one. i love music very much i am incredibly autistic about it.

if you use it, feel free to follow me on last fm here!!

hobbies/other interests: trying to get hobbies that aren't being a student, playing piano, zines/lyric videos (working on these), zentangles!!, dogs, trying to be politically aware, applying to jobs i guess, general crafting things, hanging out with my friends whom i love dearly, board games, listening to music (but you probably got that already), psychology, autism (i am autistic dw), the sims, minecraft, OH i forgot spreadsheets i LOVEEEE spreadsheets. also will occasionally go on rants about books or movies, most currently, whiplash and bojack horseman but im sensing a hunger games fixation reemerging.

i am trying to get back into reading. planning on reading some webtoons and the new hunger games book soon so maybe we'll see stuff about that too.

my hot takes: radiohead is good, wet socks aren't that bad if you have ventilation (crocs for example), and days should have 26.5 hours.

feel free to ask me questions or lmk if there's other things i should add to this post. idk how to use tumblr

SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.

Idk what I'm doing anymore so have heem

Like ok  i guess

bwaaaaaaaaa

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

Send me asks and I will answer them tomorrow morning when I'm half asleep and running on barely any sleep in the funniest way I can think of

making and weaving and loving! like we have done for millennia!!

I just hope that y’all know i was not expecting to look through my posts and see a shit ton of notes on some of them

one post had over 1k notes wtf