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#idk i guess it’s kind of good to know i have zero irl friends who will 1) check on me and 2) not get mad at me when i spiral out of control
sweetonmeclarence · 2 years
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#personal#vent#delete later#pls ignore if ur not up to seeing someone’s personal life vent shit#putting the disclaimer first so the two people who don’t count in this complaint think im talkinf abiut them#there are some exceptions ofc. i’m making very sweeping statements here.#namely the people i’ve low key forcibly attached myself to very recently. in case u see this thx for tolerating me. ur awesome ❤️❤️❤️#idk i guess it’s kind of good to know i have zero irl friends who will 1) check on me and 2) not get mad at me when i spiral out of control#nice to know when i’m at my lowest lows no one notices#good to know everyone who WAS close to me didn’t bother asking how i was. they were all ok with jjst. not talking to me.#heavens forbid we recall all the times i made sure to never leave them hanging like that but okay fine#a bunch of you barely tolerated being around me just because people you liked cared about me#so when they stopped…u dropped the mask. the disguise. u can tell urself u cared but it’s clear you didnt.#if you did you would have done something by now. you would have checked in on my mental physical whatever state within the past 10.5 months#but nope. nothing. a simple message passed along that u didnt want to be friends anyway. a simple radio silence or#an ‘i dont want to hear about it/i dont want to be involved’#ok. fine. you might not understand what you’re saying but i do.#rip my goddamnheart out i guess#fuck off#happy fucking new year i guess
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boccher · 4 months
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ah , I guess there's a whole set of social customms about weddings and proposals and shit that I've never been cued in on (despite having been to multiple weddings) (look I guess there wasn't ever any reason for me to know really). Like, yeah I get it logically, a wedding is an event dedicated to one couple so keep it focused on that couple(or more), that's entirely fair. I just... can't really empathise with it the idea in my head at all, like why does that social rule have to be that strict.. idk how that's the overwhelming majority's preference for how an ideal wedding should be? among most demographics? Cuz like in my head my wedding would just be like a celebration, and a proposal is just another good thing on top, so I'd be really happy if one of my friends successfully proposed at my wedding like yeah! 2x celebration! Give it up for my friend my friend my friend
people in that post were also bringing up the social pressure of public proposals, which I definitely understand on a more acute level, cuz like it's that one manifestation of comphet and male entitlement that you see all the time in movies social media irl. There's definitely room for things to go wrong if it's an unprovoked proposal by the proposer. It does make me think though like what is the role of a proposal in a relationship? cuz like if the most popular form of a proposal is a surprise, that means you have to set up some tension of uncertainty preceding it in order for it to actually be a surprise... which would mean withholding information from each other? Is it like some sort of mutually understood breakdown in communication? Can such a thing be mutually understandable? Like, my impression of a relationship is that you want to be aware of each other's stances towards the relationship at all times, to prevent miscommunication, and progress it in the way you both want. But I can't really fit that with the idea of a surprise proposal..
But in the ideal case I'​m thinking of, where all parties are entirely aware of if/when they wanna get married.... what would a proposal be in that case? Just a little private ceremony between the relationship? A Date+ ? Or would it just be the announcement of wedding to other people.
See look clearly I have zero understanding of the social norms that exist in this space, I'​m just trying to invent concepts from my own baseless assumptions and getting nowhere
Back to my own hypothetical wedding though, I feel like the kinds of people I'd want to invite, are the ones who have an understanding of the harms of patriarchal social pressure in the first place.. why would I want people with gross misogynistic concepts of relationships to speak about my relationship lol . in that case everyone there would be really close and we'd all understand there's zero harm in answering whatever you want to a proposal.
Like legit I don't logically get the old conservatives that think there is any harm in any way, it's not like you can't propose again later (or if you break up instead then it was always gonna be a breakup anyway) ,,,,, like that old attitude has gotta purely come down to treating the wife as property of the husband w/ no autonomy, doesn't it
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shadowonwater · 1 year
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Pokemon Scarlet Playthrough part 13: Clive reveals his true identity (who could have guessed), classes and hanging with teachers, Penny stole that money (called it) [Starfall Street Complete]
Playthrough Masterlist
So I walk up to the school and I see "Clive" at the gate. Clavell finally admits that it was him who was Clive all along. What a real shocker, who could have guessed. Then he tries to claim to be the Big Boss as well, which he obviously is not and battles me.
To be honest I didn't expect to battle him, so that caught me off guard. He has a full team and they are level 60. Looks like I'm on level again! I still win of course, but he did knock out one of my Pokemon due to a miscalculation on my part.
Me who sees Abomasnow, ah yes, grass is weak to flying, and ice is weak to fighting, therefore it's a great idea to send out my Flamigo. I completely forgot to account for flying being weak to ice. *Embarrassed laughter*
Well Clavell admits that he isn't the Big Boss (duh) but he's now convinced I can handle a fight with Penny. He bows to me, and I'm like wow, gotta make him proud now.
I will say that I thought the entrance was a weird place to have a battle, what with all the people in the area and all. Guess it's against the rules to do that because Tyme showed up and yelled at Clavell. Saying his excuses stink like "a Skuntank's behind" I love it when people use metaphor's with Pokemon. Just some good worldbuilding.
So yeah I really like Clavell character, he's a delight. And to think I thought he's be a bad guy after watching the trailers. He's just a goofy old man.
I'm going to do the rest of the classes next, interact with teachers, and then I'm going to the schoolyard to fight Penny. But that's tomorrow, I'm going to bed.
Art 6: Hassel talks about Marks and Ribbons. Apparently I can get the Best Friends Ribbon at Cascarrafa, I think that was where the water gym was. Checking the map... yes! It's the water gym city.
Art Final: I got medium candies this time, nice!
Battle Studies 6: Learning about link battles, not much to say.
Battle Studies final: Easy but I lost a point for choosing "auto fights" instead of "auto battles" a very arbitrary difference.
Biology 6: Jacq talks about Pokemon forms. He brings up that Phone Rotoms are special and can't possess other technology, this fuels my headcannon about Rotoms and how these Rotom are specifically breed for this purpose. He got cut off by the bell when trying to talk about regional forms, seems like something a bit too important to cut off if you ask me.
Biology final: Easy. Anyway I like the questions Jacq puts on the ends of his tests, I don't know why the Clavell is against them. It's not like I haven't seen that sort of thing irl. Like as long as it doesn't affect the grades and it's an optional question, and also not inappropriate to ask, it should be fine.
Home Ec 6: He talks about customization pretty much, including Rotom Phones. It's fun that he himself doesn't know where to get phone cases so a student says where to get them. I really liked his speech at the end, it was very sweet.
Home Ec Final: Easy. Sort of off topic, but on topic, I like to imagine Saguaro having a Patrick Warburton like voice.
Languages 6: One last lesson in listening to Pikachu I must be honest in that I found guessing it's emotion based off its sounds very difficult. I may have sound on but that doesn't mean I pay attention to what cries happen when, besides I don't even have my own Pikachu to learn its cries from. Well I do have one but I don't use it.
Languages Final: Well I got one of the Pikachu cries wrong for the same reason I listed above. Also I think it's weird that one his question's is just asking what his name is, like what kind of test question is that?!
Math 6: Tyme explains STAB moves. Its very basic, idk why she didn't explain that early. I mean I already know it but if you asked me STAB should come before moves that increase stats in battle.
Math final: I had to redo the test because I don't remember how much certain things multiply.
History 6: So Tera Orbs have something to do with Area Zero. So Tera Pokemon were first discovered in Area Zero, but why is it now a common occurrence outside of Area Zero? Apparently only just 10 years ago (that's not long at all!), Sada figured out the Tera thing and she made Tera Orbs. But this still doesn't explain the Tera Pokemon in the wild outside Area Zero. Also Clavell was on her team, I suppose that's how they know each other?
History Final: Easy, but I am paying very close attention in this class, so no wonder it was easy. Unlike other tests where I usually already had the knowledge being asked about.
Oh and now I've passed everything I also get some large candies, cool!
Now it's time to talk to the teachers again!...But first I decided to use my additional candies to evolve some Pokemon for the Pokedex. I then tried a bit of grinding to level up a few more. I only bring this up because I found another shiny, and I actually caught it this time! So now I have a shiny Capsakid.
I also used a Thunderstone to evolve the free flying Pikachu. I bring this up because I'm happy I was was allowed to evolve it, I like Raichu more than Pikachu and I'm sick of all the special Pikachu that can't be evolved.
Talking to Raifort now! She conforms that the four Pokemon of ruin are real, which was quite clear as a player. She says she found it in a newspaper "of all places" newspapers are a great way to find info like that when researching. So the stakes, as I correctly figured out, are what is sealing the Pokemon. There are eight stakes for each in the areas "surrounding the shrine" not sure how true that is, I swear I've found yellow stakes all over the place.
Raifort has marked the spots where the shrines are on my map, I already found two on my own but I guess this can tell me where the other two are. It's too bad Raifort can't go adventuring with me, but I will say that could work as a potential fanfic, freeing the Pokemon from the shrines with your history teacher.
So I knew about the Groundblight Shrine and the Grasswither Shrine. But not the Icerend Shrine or the Firescourge Shrine. I wonder if I free the shrine Pokemon if I get more story with Raifort. I'm really eager to see what's hiding in those shrines. One thought that came to mind is that maybe instead of all those Yellow stakes maybe they were green and yellow but just a similar color? Would explain how I found so many yellow.
Talking to Hassel again. He tells off someone in his family for trying to drags him away from what he's passionate about. Also he implies that she may have been lying about his father's health to get him to come back to the family. Anyway he gave me 50 Dragon Tera shards! So if I wanted to I could change the Tera of one of my Pokemon to dragon if I wish. I wonder what rewards I get for getting to the end of the storyline with other teachers.
Considering Raifort still has the "!" but nothing happens when I talk to her I think that means that I indeed need to figure out what lies behind the gates to complete her storyline.
So Salvatore is keeping the Pawmi, just as I figured would happen. He's seems to have a preference towards electric Pokemon what with having a Pikachu and also a Raichu pin. Now he also has a Pawmi. Anyway I suppose the Pawmi might not be deaf or mute, per say, but more like selectively mute, like Red. He gave me a Galarian Meowth, a pretty cool prize, ngl.
Talking to Miriam now. She passed her exam! Good for her. She also gave me 10 Max Revives, nothing too exciting, but I'll take it.
Talking to Saguaro now. Apprently the sweet condiment he wanted is the sweet herba mystica. He asks me to share some if I ever found any. Considering the fact that you can only get the herba mystica in area zero I guess that means I need to wait a bit more I can finish his story line.
Talking to Dendra now. She's taking a break from sandwich making. But her goal is to payback Miriam. Oh yeah, I'm 100% to ship them lol. She gave me a bunch of protein.
I meant to talk to Tyme who was in the courtyard next but even though it was starting to look bright out it started the continuation of the Starfall story anyway. So yeah I guess I'm going to do that now.
So where to begin... of course I was right that Penny was both Cass and the Big Boss. She finally revealed herself and wanted to fight me as the Big Boss of Team Star. I wasn't sure what she would have been given her iconic Eevee backpack my best guess was that her team would be all Eeveelutions. Looks like I was correct! The fight went pretty easy.
But I must say! Penny's theme is an absolute banger! I gotta listen to it some more some time it is so good!
Clavall reveals his true identity to Penny and she is actually surprised. Penny are you face blind or something? It was obvious who Clive was. And he asked the question that I've been asking for a long time. Why Operation Starfall? If you're the Big Boss why didn't you just tell them to diband?
Well as it turned out she did tell them to stop, all the way back after the incident. They just choose not to listen to her and are surprised when she didn't show up again. So she thought if she told them now to stop, they would continue to not listen because technically she's not allowed to order them. Fair enough.
The incident in question. From the sounds of it they rolled up in their wild outfits and giant cars and basically threatened their bullies. The bullies were scared and told everybody about how scary Team Star was and dropped out of school to avoid them. So everyone thinks that Team Star is up to no good, hence the rumors.
The moment the Penny meet her Team Star friends face to face was really sweet. Really liked that bit where they all said Hasta la Vistar. I wonder who in the group came up with that catchphrase.
I'm glad those Team Star bases will go to good use. And that the Team Star raids will probably be seen as a fun challenge for trainers to take on. Hope they'll still hand out a commemorative badge to those who win, that'll be cool.
And my theory that Penny stole that money was correct! There was already that mention of hackers stealing LP from league servers, and what with Penny being a hacker and all... So yeah Penny is a thief! Be gay do crimes?
I haven't gotten Penny on the Team yet nor have a gotten a "Starfall Street Complete" message. So I'm guessing something else needs to happen? Not sure what though. But I am going to finally talk to Tyme again.
Now talking to Tyme. Ok so her stalker situation is now dealt with. A girl who's a fan of Tyme's time as a gym leader. Tyme said her sister now runs the gym. I thought the similarities between Tyme and Ryme were just a coincidence... but maybe not. She also gave me a bunch of Tera Rock shards.
So I went outside and there was Penny! So that was how the story continued. She now owes me one, she says, and this will be cashed in later to break into Area Zero.
I don't think I said this earlier but I figured Penny would be hired for cyber security by the League. Don't like someone hacking you? Try hiring them to stop others from hacking you. So it seems that that is indeed what happened.
Also apparently the six of them came up with the Team Star catchphrase together.
Anyway that'll be all for this post, next post I'm going to take on the Pokemon League. I'm going to see if I can find those two other gates now that I know where they should be. Hasta la vistar!
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koishua · 3 years
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𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝙏𝙊 𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙈𝙀 𝙏𝘼𝙂 !
tagged by: @luvvseong @yangyangify @spookybias @iuwon @floraljae (thank you, my loves <3)
tagging: @zhongwrld @moonbeamsung @rutosruru @lyjikyu @armysantiny @kopikokun @mochiable @envirae @channoticedmeuwu @radiorenjun @lebrookestore @whiteprincessofnohr + anyone who would like to do it!!
notes from vie: oml what the hell was this. honestly, this was so long, but i think it allowed me to reflect upon myself for a moment lmao.
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𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮
october twenty eighth! on winwin day, nonetheless!
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧
i adore every single one smh. if it were palettes we were speaking about, then it would probably be greyish blue tones and beige to yellow ones!
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙣𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧
my lucky number does not work, because my misfortune overpowers it way too much. i like the number eight, though!
𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙥𝙚𝙩𝙨
i used to have pet baby cobras, fishes, yellow and blue budgies, and aquatic turtles!
𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪
i am aspiring to reach 170 cm, but i am currently 159-160 cm! that would be 5'2"?? i think.
𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚
a pair of combat boots, white canvas shoes, and one sneakers for sports class... not many lmao i am not a shoe gal.
𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙜
changes everyday. as i am typing, however, it would be lose it by oh wonder, rush hour by gaho and run by one republic!
𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙚
i have three: rise of the guardians, room (2015), and... any studio ghibli movie tbh. whoops.
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚
i say that i do not have a type all of the time, but all of the people i have been attracted to and had a crush on were the wild, fun, and cute guys in my class. they also tend to be very kind and understanding as well. i am a sucker for people who smile often.
they would have to be accepting of all of my flaws and love me regardless, just like the way i would do the same for them if i love them as well. i am also extremely touch deprived haha, so i would honestly be over the moon if they don't mind hugs and physical affection.
𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙣
only after i have a stable income and have things sorted out, because i don't want to struggle raising them because of financial and mental issues. no kid deserves parents that can't take care of them ig.
𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙬
the law from where i come from are terrible and something pretty bad has happened, but i'd rather that's kept in private haha. i swear i didn't commit any crimes lmao police are just incredible blind and unfair there.
𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧
shower. i am way too impatient for baths. also, i feel weird sitting in a tub filled water while naked lmfao it's so weird for me.
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜
grey.
𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙘
k-r&b, indie, pop-rock hybrid ig, lo-fi.
𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝
only one below my head.
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙞𝙣
it varies. i sleep like a rock even though i can’t sleep for long, so i wake up in the exact position i initially fall asleep in. either on my back or my right side, since my left side isn’t too good lmao.
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣❜𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪❜𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜
buzzing mosquitos and damp, hot air (which is very rare, so i guess we are okay). i also hate being cold, so i sleep with two blankets even during summer haha. my limbs are ice-cold all the time smh
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙛𝙖𝙨𝙩
oats mixed with chocolate chunks.
𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙮
i never went to a club or took lessons, but we had a backyard where my dad allowed me to shoot at stuff with a bow and the few arrows he made. i was pretty good at aiming, but my eyesight has deteriorated, so i left it at that lmao
𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙩
watermelons and mangoes... also rambutan and mangis, but we don’t have them in germany ;-; i missed them.
𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙
fuck. and i am sorry to say that i use it here quite a lot.
𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙨
tons.
𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙧
some have called me a psychopath before, but they just don’t understand that i was raised by very strict parents and learned how to lie lmao. i am pretty ashamed to say yes.
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚
i have tested twice. once when i was fourteen, which showed that i was an infj-t, but then i took it again last year and it showed that i was an infp-t. i heard that 16Personalities was trash, though, so take it with a grain of salt.
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡
my best friend. she is a wild character, ngl, but she and i communicate extremely well. she is outgoing, courageous, hilarious, and has no qualms with being the odd one. she isn’t overly obnoxious, but she has a nice kind of self-confidence going on.
𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙚
i love yang jeongIN. definitely an innie, because i don’t even remember what the front of my house looks like haha. i don’t go out unless someone literally grabs my arms and physically drags me out and i am not even joking with this one. 
𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩 𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙
i was originally right-handed, but then i got paranoid of breaking my right arm and having to study with my left arm all of a sudden and get bad grades, so i learned how to do stuff and write with my left hand as a kid.
𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙙
don’t have one. call me when we’re talking about dessert.
𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙙
don’t have one.
𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙮
my entire aesthetic is chaotic academia irl, so you tell me.
𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙥𝙝𝙧𝙖𝙨𝙚
oml, how tf, bahaha, bestie, no because-, hehe, lmao, i’m sobbing, i guess, toodles, etc etc.
𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮
i can techincally be ready in five, but procrastination is the sole thing i excel at, so yeah, definitely half an hour.
𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛
cnversations happen in my head, my the office-esque reactions happen out loud. i talk a lot and imitate phrases i hear from someone to myself and reenact scenes from my daydreams bahaha
𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛
i don’t shut up. someone save the people that live with me.
𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧
definitely not the most technically sound vocalist, but i can hold a tune or two. i was a soloist in my choir for a few years and was the vocalist for a band, but we disbanded smh i am still very sad about that :/ i loved them so much.
𝙗𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧
seeing my loved ones die before me.
𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙥
i don’t feel comfortable talking bad about people :/ just ignore and move on.
𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙧
i have hair that reaches my knees, but dear god do i want to chop it all off in one motion and get a yeeun-style bob cut.
𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝙨𝙪𝙗𝙟𝙚𝙘𝙩
sports and art. to hell with everything else. i’m not bad at them at all, but oh gosh i want to burn them all.
𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙧 𝙚𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙩
... idk. i hate speaking to strangers and feel so awkward during one on one conversations with friends. i don’t go out a lot and social events tire me out, but i also crave noise happening around me. so,,, ambivert? i do tend to be the life of the party often during the few times i go out, but then i just lug myself back home and crash for the week lmao
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙤𝙪𝙨
anything related to school. i have regular panic attacks /gen. also, i have thalassaphobia and megalophobia, so things larger than life and the vast, empty ocean terrifies me and movies like that just make me nauseous. 
𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙝
my first real crush this one guy in my band. he was the other vocalist and was so pretty and fun. he always used to tease me smh. at least, that was something. but then we had to disband last year, because the older guys were moving away to study and us high schoolers were also moving to different cities ;-;
𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙛𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙪𝙣
i was in my middle school track team and used to compete a lot since i was pretty agile, but then i started to hate running, stopped, and now i am just a little above average bahaha.
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙧
black. i want to dye it with cotton candy colored highlights, tho!
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙧𝙮
unnecessary comments, rude and obnoxious, self-entitled kids and people in general, people who tell you how to do your own job, hate comments, the basic dni criterias as well 
𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚
kind of?
𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙖 𝙗𝙤𝙮 𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙
i would want a girl.
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙩𝙝𝙨
i have cold hands if you want to cool down. i can adapt to any kind of environment instantly, since i have moved twelve different times to fifferent schools and countries. bless my parents. i have gained the ability to conquer shifts in social environments at the cost of my mental health :’) i also consider myself to be nice and can get things down quickly, so i am a fast learner.
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨
kanemoto yoshinori, yoshi, eye smiles, and brownies. i am also very impatient, a perfectionist, a procrastinator, and have absolutely zero self-control over aggression against my own body. i have trouble reacting to other people's emotional outbursts, be it crying or anger and don't know what to do and how to comfort them. i also have trouble opening up and am never authentic around people, so i don't have... friends, if that makes sense? i don't feel comfortable being myself and feel like i have to be the person that they want me to be? idek.
i get bored extremely easily and nothing interests me that much ig
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙙𝙨𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙
blue.
𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢
white and hints of blue.
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spnreactionblogging · 4 years
Text
DESPAIR
SPOILERS BELOW / tw suicide sort of
ah the title really does sum this up. I am filled with such dread going in. I know cas gets sent to super hell, I know the destiel shippers are declaring it canon (but then, when haven't they), and I've heard from a reliable source that the show officially as of just now is queerbaiting for real by making it vague and easy to ignore it instead of actually confirming anything. plus nobody seems to give a fuck about jack, as usual, and sam didn't get to say goodbye? god how can this get better???? I hope buckleming got to fucking murder castiel! that would really improve this for me!!! the cherry on the shit sundae for real so okay here goes. ugh. I have this angel's envy bourbon at 1PM, oops. I feel like I will need it for this one more than the others I also am ensconced in my castiel trenchcoat + "be super good" shirt, and cas, crowley, and sam the q-pals are joining me. dean is banished to remain in the tote bag they live in. god I want to scream. this fucking synopsis "With the plan in full motion, Sam, Dean, Castiel and Jack fight for the good for the common goal." oh the plan to use Jack as a suicide bomb???? great idea. lol I hate this. whose "common good"????????? ah but yes dean runs a dictatorship right. no wonder chuck butts heads with him dean looks so fucking smug in the amazon prime video app, hovering over the episode where cas will die horribly. fuck. there is nothing that can emotionally prepare me for this episode the show is going to end with sam and dean because it started with sam and dean and chuck/the IRL writers are bitter about it I guess??? delete fucking everything god, very fucking cute of dean to be like WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING!!! you fucking piece of shit you forcememed this to go as quickly as possible because you want Jack fucking dead, don't pretend you care god. fuck. jack apologizing for dying, to the empty. I hate everything so much ah, so that's why the opening title screen has been that. gross. horrible. a jack singularity is that it? really? jack's dead? just like that. okay. awful. oh he's MAYBE dead. reassuring. I see that briana buckmaster and jim beaver will be joining us my cat is sitting in front of the TV trying to prevent me from watching this, trying to save me from myself oh and felicia day oh this one's written by robert berens, I mostly trust him I think sam should've photocopied the book first oh hey RSJ directed this one I'm glad to have rachel miner back in any capacity that's... alpha/omega on the side there? makes sense I hope it's a fake book god I love sam sitting on the like. what is that, weird equipment panels? more confirmation sam is queer, you heard it here what leverage does dean even think he has cool jack's just getting tortured now "the boy is still useful" at least billie isn't pretending to care about him. oh she left the book thank fuck cas goes to him right away, please hug this child alcohol is not gonna help you guys sleep oh here's dean's half-assed apology. "sorry not sorry that I just couldn't stop, I couldn't help it, I just wanted to get what I wanted, and now that I didn't get what I wanted, sowwy uwu I guess" "you've snapped me out of worse" yeah don't minimize this, sam oh yeah michael exists. I notice dean refers to him as michael and not including adam. way to go I notice that sam does not drink right away "to somehow" those eggs look great "no guns at the table" is a solid rule not only for how miserable that is, but because everything surrounding firearms is a carcinogen and doesn't need to be near food please love yourself charlie please eat good eggs am I supposed to know stevie, was she part of the alternate universe, I still like never watched most of 10-13 oh we're gonna kill MULTIPLE queer characters in this episode, awesome. we gonna kill charlie AGAIN??????? we brought her back just to kill her off, AGAIN? LIKE KEVIN? and bobby I guess?? can I just say how much I hate the concept of a "final boss fight" like why is it always ending in a fight, why is violence always the answer, and why do we feel like one final violent action will solve all the problems huh charlie's shirt looks like a tycho album cover okay so I didn't forget stevie, she was brand new? maybe? I love cas and jack :( feels strange because this all sucks there's no such thing as destiny, jack don't fucking die for sam and dean and 'the world' damn right, cas, he doesn't need "absolution" well that's true for you, cas, you care because he's him. dean just wants to use him cas and jack are good. charlie this was so not your fault. as usual this is the winchesters' fault. tell 'em charlie!!! get 'em!!! you're not sorry, dean. "What now?" is a huge fucking mood, dean oh, greg! our old friend! greg was a real one (but not anymore) yeah eileen's screwed. this includes sam too. and dean i guess. sam is a good person who cares about people despite dean's best efforts to stop him I can't see who he's texting. are cas and jack in the back? poor eileen :( god poor sam having to basically get eileen in front of eyewitnesses who can attest that she disappeared cas and jack are in the backseat yeah I wish he'd tell her she's never gonna reply now yeah she's gone. interesting use of technology that they couldn't've done earlier in the series, to show she was typing but then stopped god that's awful. fuck. "If I let myself go then I'll lose my mind. I can't, right now." that's a huge fucking mood sam let's just postpone all that grief for later. gotta shove it down. huge fucking mood. god I'm so sorry somewhere central... the... bunker? don't split everyone up dean, fuck yes revenge is definitely the answer. killing things is the answer. "not having a choice" is obviously the answer. you fucker we get a sam and dean hug but where's the one for cas. you can like... see it in sam and jack's eyes that they are worried they're never gonna see them again. I'm horrified that cas isn't getting to say goodbye to jack nor sam. I can't handle this. I guess this scene is where they took that last group photo that misha posted back in march? RIP :( oh hey donna jack, that feeling is TheDepression oh gas-n-sip sam's sweet to try to give jack some autonomy here instead of having him just... being shuffled around like baggage. is that eileen's car then this music is intense don't burn the fucking library also wow dean with the reaper blade again is oof. wow. yikes. dean is become death, destroyer of worlds for real. jesus that is fucking horrifying to see. aren't you, dean? aren't you a bringer of death. remember when you hated doing that back in season... 4? 5? later? dean has learned nothing. sam's been trapped in a silo before hasn't he. or that panic room or something. donna is sweet. jack is good. jack deserves better. sam :( donna is very kind I like hearing jody and garth mentioned even if they're not in this episode (?) oh hey charlie sam at least knows how you feel, charlie I like this set god I've missed jim beaver is jack going around with spraypaint? I'm like oh god there's no ventilation. I guess it's a paint bucket but still the fumes are bad. better than being evaporated though I guess big man on campus. RIP stanford sam at least there's a bucket. praeses magna. "president large"? thinking about how it would be impossible to have extras for episodes 19 and 20 I like watching jack paint RIP that plant. apparently he has his powers dean walks around way too comfortably with the reaper scythe. oh but the plan has changed. did billie leave that book and nobody read it?????? dean you don't have friends, bud. yeah how did you tink you would even stand a chance, dean. this is the worst plan ever I'm so tired of seeing cas get tortured. I don't want to see billie get hurt either. is "billie" actually the empty or something "Has virtutes conliga. Eas integra. Eas firma. Nos omnes serva." = "These virtues bind. Those infected. These are strong. We keep them all." idk google translate, I feel like that may not be "infected" but more like integrity I like the effects they did on the wardings there yeah pretty much you can't stop god oh I'm real sad about that couple who vanished together :( bye charlie bye bobby. :( bye donna??? oh that like gold paint gossamer looking shit going on with billie's arm is cool god I'm glad billie smacked him in the face, dean deserves it. I just rewound it to see dean get clocked again, it's so worth it so they went back to the bunker... for what? billie can just go there. sam and jack are gonna have such a rough fucking day. all those double cheeseburgers are back for revenge on dean billie's right actually. dean always thinks the rules don't apply to him because he thinks he should be making the rules. castiel should be with jack, not with dean. fuck. can't cas still heal people the scythe on the wall is a good visual. I really like lisa berry, she does an amazing job is this the same room with the ma'lak box always happy to bleed for the winchesters. christ. fuck. even with dean's pocketknife. cas I'm so sorry. sweetheart you don't deserve this. 7B? so Jack was trapped in 5B, this is a different room but probably the same actual setpiece just rearranged do you just... have to wait her out yeah yeah dean you suck. correct, you never should've left sam and jack. wow I feel zero sympathy for dean at all. you do it to yourselllllf you do, that's what really hurts. oh baby don't summon the empty please :( I'm so glad to know that cas never told them about how he saved jack, it's none of their business yeah it would be with jack, cas. you should be with him man this is shitty. this is like a bad fanfic for real. wow these shots are like, when it cuts between them it's so obvious these were not the same camera lmao fuck. how many takes was this god i hate dean. he has not done this for love. dean is a spiteful person. "you're the most caring man on earth" literally kill me. I want to die. jesus fuck. i want to be dead this is awful this sucks this actually really hurts. this sucks so much. dean you squandered this angel's life. now jack has no father. i hate you dean winchester. i hate you. you don't deserve cas loving you jack knows, jack can feel it. I hate hate hate hate hate hate that jack is left alone with the winchesters. i hate this. jesus fuck i hate this so much i hate this jack sweetheart I'm so sorry dean you fucking ass please pick up the fucking phone. please answer sam. i hate you god dean i hate you fuck dean you are the worst. fuck my life. fuck all this. fuck this show. i'm so angry castiel deserves so much better than this. fuck i'm so mad. why wasn't his moment of happiness knowing that JACK WASN'T GOING TO DIE. i hate this. I'm so upset. fucking shit-ass writing. and it's still not fucking canon you morons at least uh they don't have to have extras for the last two episodes? did they add that footage after? is that what got changed up? everyone's gone huh. god just. dump the show right into the trash. bye. also for fuck's sake nobody gives a fuck about jack like I didn't even know he survived. nobody cares. "sam didn't get to say goodbye" FUCKING JACK DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE fuck this so much. fuck, is dean just chuck's OC? made in his image and furious that his mini-me isn't acting the way he wants? is that why he gets exonerated at every turn? "all the evil shit you did is fine dean you're the MOST LOVING AND THE BESTEST EVER!!!" fuuuuuck
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elinaline · 4 years
Text
Got tagged by @mixmio​ thanks ! my brain does not want to focus on work these days so perfect
1. What is the colour of your hairbrush?
it’s like. black. I rarely use it though, because if I brush my hair it looks like a bomb exploded on my head fdjkfh so I untangle it after putting in conditioner and usually I just fight it with my bare hands in the morning
2. name of a food you never eat?
cucumber. fuck that vegetable it’s disgusting way too smelly and the texture is fucking horrible
3. are you typically too warm or too cold?
too warm !!!!!! and it’s only gonna get worse (: woohoo
4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago?
I was being anxious lmao, and weirdly emotional because of that playlist spotify gave me. Also thinking about how to formulate the things I want on my report for my precedent internship that I still need to conclude.
5. what’s your favourite candy bar?
is it twix ? is it mars ? I never know the difference carambar good also
6. have you ever been to a professional sports event?
I used to be in the official orchestra of a professional rugby team so I’ve been to a few dozens official sports events actually !! I’ll always remember the patrouille the France oing over our head as we were playing for a France-Ireland match in Bordeaux, that was amazing, and Irish rugby fans are so fun :)
7. what is the last thing you said out loud?
“oh it’s bubbling up !” talking about a cake I’m trying to do with sourdough starter
8. what is your favourite ice cream?
fucking uuuhhhhh blueberry ? there’s no better ice cream taste than one made from wild blueberries that you went out in the moutain to pick with your family after noticing a good spot during a hike :3
9. what is the last thing you had to drink?
orange juice 5mins ago
10. do you like your wallet?
yeah ? it’s convenient I.... it’s got lots of pockets ? idk it’s sturdy wh. that’s a weird question actually
11. what was the last thing you ate?
lunch made by my roommate ! also a bit of the paste from aforementioned cake lol
12. did you buy any new clothes last week?
no I don’t intend on buying new clothes until a loooonnnngggg time I don’t particularly need any plus like. quarantine lol.
13. last sporting event you watched?
uh.
the. no wait ? no that’s it probably bits of the tour de france last summer ?
14. what’s your favourite flavour of popcorn?
there are different flavors between salt and sugar ???????????? anyways salted popcorn is absolutely disgusting so. sugar. there are different flavors ? what a wild world we live in
15. who was the last person you sent a message to?
@breadstyx​ I was talking to them about the cake
16. ever go camping?
rarely
we were supposed to go camping this weekend, since it’s a long one what with May 8, with my class as sort of like one last big event altogether but :) fuck us I guess lol
17. do you take vitamins?
I used to in highschool bc I had toxoplasmosis and it fucking drained me. I’ve also taken some magnesium complements this year because I had vertigo caused by stress because it was such a nice year for me (: (: (:
18. do you go to church every Sunday?
LMAOOOOO NO
19. do you have a tan?
I’ve been stuck inside for the last two months and there is basically no direct sun in my apartment. so. I’m white as fuck rn
I’ll get SO sunburnt as soon as I can go outside lol but catch me rolling in the grass as soon as they reopen the parks, I haven’t seen grass in 52 days fuck off. Like knowing we’d get out of quarantine but that the parks would still be closed for a while did a funny number on my mental health hahaaaa
20. do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?
I’m not a big Chinese food fan generally :/ also what kind of pizza are we talking about ?
21. do you drink soda with a straw?                      
before I answer this question I need to know what you define as soda because I’ve never understood what non French people meant by that. also generally I don’t use straws apart for like milkshakes and smoothies
22. what colour socks do you wear?
right now I’m barefoot
23. do you ever drive above the speed limit?
I haven’t driven in years my guy fdkfh but usually no I’m exactly at the speed limit I’m terrified of driving and I hate it SO
24. what terrifies you?
like, right now, or ? in general ? I’m terrified of every countries around slowly turning into authoritarian regimes and not being able to do shit, I’m terrified of the general mistrust towards science I can see in the general public, I’m terrified of the rise of fascism, I’m terrified of climate change in a very short term idea because I can’t bear many more summers above 45°C and in the long term because I’d like today’s kids to have a future, I’m terrified of never being enough and not getting a PhD funding, I’m terrified people will get bored of me or think I’m not useful anymore and leave me and I’d have to rebuild myself from zero again, I’m terrified of the general idea of losing control, I’m terrified of big empty spaces, I’m terrified of causing harm of any kind without being able to control or reduce it. You know the usual dose of existential fear and then some, and then some more for good measure haha :)
25. look to your left what do you see?
a calendar
26. what chore do you hate?
doing the dishes and getting the bin out because it hurts my back
27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?
":)” loved going to Melbourne would love to go back I miss my friend there
28. what’s your favourite soda?
seriously define soda first. If you mean drink with bubble I don’t like any of them basically. If you mean processed drink with an average of five sugar cubes per can I’d say Oasis ? or Ice Tea
29. do you go into fast food places or drive thru?
never been to a drive through. fast foods yeah ! there used to be a Declercq (it’s like belgian fries, v good, v greasy, perfect for a friday night with friends) near my school but they had an oil fire so it burned down :( so now the alternative for greasy fries is BK
30. who was the last person you talked to?
@breadstyx​ whom I sent a message to about the cake. IRL I live with my roommate so.
t31. favourite cut of beef?
one that’s tender ? you think I know perfectly which cut is what and not that I don’t buy the cheapest one when I feel like polluting a lot with what I eat ?
32. last song you listened to?
I’m currently listening to a spotify playlist. I’s currently playing hang on
Willow tree by twin wild i’ve never heard of these guys but ok
33. last book you read?
oh fuck I’m in a “unable to read” period lmao. Probably one of the October Daye series uh. The one where her mom comes to steal her fiance and her twin
34. can you say the alphabet backwards?
zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihfedcba
took a while but I think it’s correct ? It’s like. I know sequences that are easy to invert and I need to link them together that’s the tricky part
35. how do you like your coffee?
black
36. favourite pair of shoes?
Before I bought my docks I had those huge bulgy shoes that I loved because no one could step on my feet in the metro, but the insole started caving in in a weird way and it hurt my ankle so I had to stop wearing them :(
37. the time you normally go to bed?
(: NORMALLY around midnight, but rn it’s more like. between 1 and 2 am when I’m not too bad
38. the time you normally wake up?
NORMALLY around 8 but I’ve decided 9.30 would be good, and I usually am able to get up only by 10am
39. what do you prefer sunrise or sunsets?
I’m usually not awake for sunrises but both are good. I like the hour JUST after sunset best because it’s like. you can see daysky on one side and nightsky on the other, and everything is sort of blue or sort of orange
40. how many blankets are on your bed?
one
41. describe your kitchen plates?
they’re round and kinda concave so that food doesn’t get out ? I? do you have many weird questions like that
42. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?
I’m a sucker for a good piña colada but it’s hard to get them exactly right, like the balance between too sweet and too creamy is subtle
43. do you play cards?
in highschool I used to but I’ve forgotten all the game we’d do
44. what colour is your car?
don’t have one
45. can you change a tire?
lmao
46. your favourite province?
If we’re talking french region, Aquitaine is the closest I’ve ever felt to being home I guess ? I love the Pyrenées as well, all three old regions I don’t know the new ones fdfsdhfsdf
47. favourite job you’ve had?
I’ve only ever done summer camp counselor as a summer job, and I’ve had both a traumatising experience filled with sexual harassment and a really good experience that helpes me get more self confident so.
48. how did you get your biggest scar?
it’s not really a scar it’s a bump on my head that never left, I hit my brother in the garden pool at full speed when I was 7
49. what did you do today that made someone happy?
afaik nothing but I’m about to put this cake to bake SO
I am tagging uuuuuuuuuhhh say @sunny-day-sky andddd @queerlynx but like. don’t feel pressured to do it, it’s a Lot
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bookworm-2692 · 4 years
Note
Reader ask meme: A10, B6, C4 and D2?
Questions are from here!
A10: Who did you have your first fanfic-related conversation with? What was it about?
I… don’t remember? First irl conversation? Or online? Online would be someone from the Salad on Dreamwidth in the comments section in like 2014??? Real life… maybe my sister @adrift-in-eden or my friend @lebannabell or another friend who doesn’t use tumblr. Or maybe… wait I remember when I was young and my dad downloaded these “James Potter and the X” ebooks (here is the first on Goodreads), as well as Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality or something? It’s only now in hindsight that I realise they were fanfic lmao. I read the James Potter ones, I remember enjoying them. My dad talked about the Methods of Rationality all the damn time! He found it absolutely hilarious, tho I never read it. I think those would have been the first conversations about fanfic, given that I remember not knowing that term in those days (a couple of months ago my sister and I were talking about this fic at the beach in the ocean and my dad overheard some and started talking about Methods of Rationality again (bc we tried to make him go away by saying “hp fanfic” but he didn’t and instead started relating to us) and it wasn’t until that moment that I was like “hey that’s fanfic… those James Potter ebooks were also fanfic… wtf”, so I clearly didn’t know the term fanfic back when I first read them). 
Looking on the Goodreads now, JP1 was published 2007, JP2 in 2008, JP3 in 2010 and JP4 in 2013. JP5 wasn’t published until 2017. I definitely read 1-3 all at once, and definitely did not read #5. From the title on the Goodreads I feel like I recognise #4? Nope ok so I went into iBooks, and I have 1-3 but not 4 or 5. So my dad downloaded them somewhere in 2010-2013? I remember being disappointed it stopped at number 3 lmao. Trying to work out exactly, but all the other ones of his I read were published in 2008 so that doesn’t help. It was definitely after I read the whole series, and I know I started after the last book came out in 2008, and had definitely finished the series multiple times by year 5 or year 6 (2010/2011). So I would’ve read my first fanfic in maybe 2011 or 2012 lets say, at the age of like 12 or 13, and the first fanfic conversation would’ve been with my dad, and would have been about that fic he sent me lmao
B6: What is your favourite story trope? Why?
Um idk about trope?? But I really like stories where it’s like… one tiny thing changed, which changes the entire plot. Canon divergence fics. For Want Of A Nail I think it’s called on TV Tropes? Like all the NDRV3 fics where (spoiler alert) Akamatsu isn’t executed, because Saihara lies that he killed Amami and Monokuma rolls with it, or because he actually killed Amami, or instead Chapter 1 goes as canon, but instead Saihara is the second victim, or changes to Chapter 5: Saihara is Ouma’s hostage, or both Ouma and Momota are in the Exisal, or if they play by the rules in Chapter 6. I also really enjoy when canon mentions a thing happening, but not in any great detail, but then a fic goes over that event in great detail. For example, the First Nonary Game in Zero Escape, or the events of VLR from Phi’s POV, or the audition process in NDRV3 and showing how they actually “become” their characters. Also wasn’t it mentioned somewhere that Hongou went through Gordain’s Game? Dammit this is almost turning into a rec list from me. I guess I just really like long detailed fics with a good plot? 
Since some of my favourite fics didn’t manage to fit into the above: (Danganronpa) after the events of DR1, Naegi is kidnapped by Ultimate Despair, (Danganronpa) a time loop AU where we see the loops that lead to the canon timeline, rather than that one being the first one, (Harry Potter) Salazar Slytherin’s brother crawls out of his portrait during Harry’s fifth year ready to be the competent teacher Hogwarts needs (here is my longer recommendation to this fic that I posted a few days ago), (Harry Potter) Harry gets adopted by loving Muggles as a baby and raised in a loving home, (Harry Potter) Draco and Harry another others are 24 and professors at Hogwarts, this expands on the ideas of wizarding Lords and Ladies and has super amazing worldbuilding/characterisation, (Harry Potter) a series of wonderful “what if AUs”, (Harry Potter) 19/20 year old Harry wakes up in a 14 year old Slytherin body in 1942 - deals with Slytherin politics in such a Gryffindor way, it’s absolutely beautiful, (Harry Potter) a Muggle becomes the Weasleys new neighbour, and they all think she’s actually a witch, (Zero Escape) the boys are playing DND over Discord and now a real life mystery is occurring, (Zero Escape) snippets leading up to Dcom, and also during the experiment, (Zero Escape) a look at what happens after ZTD, and how they try to continue saving the world (it’s very good), (Zero Escape) random scenes from every timeline, (Zero Escape) a complete AU, Crash Keys are doing crime, it’s good stuff, (Zero Escape) the story of 1904 Phi (also really good)
I’m now getting tired but if you want more fic recs then please just ask! Also if you have your own fic recs please send them to me!
C4: What thing that fandom loves do you actually kind of hate? Why?
To be honest? The shipping. Like I’m not an anti-shipper, I’m not trying to stop people from shipping. You do you boo. But I just sort of dislike when shipping gets shoe horned in unnecessarily? Similar to how I dislike romance subplots and love interests being added to mainstream media “for the sake of it”. If it’s needed for the plot (or extremely well done) then it’s absolutely fine. But if it has no bearing on the plot, or is badly written, or feels OOC or something, then it annoys me. Generally it’s fine though, but.
D2: Who/Where did you get your last fic rec from?
I think my sister?? When she was reading a lot of Harry Potter fic, she’d send me the best of them and I’d open the links and just have the tabs open until I got around to reading them. I was at uni and busy, so I just kept on accumulating links, and she wasn’t even sending me every single thing I read! She’s since moved on to reading another fandom (and hence hasn’t been sending me any fics in a while), but I still haven’t caught up on all she sent. Some of them were really good though, super amazing.
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dykexion · 5 years
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tagged by @minatodilf ty Ash 👌👌
What was your last
Drink: just plain water
Last phone call: my dad (I'm not big on phone calls so only my parents really call me normally)
Last text: telling @vulturousculturalist to go to sleep because it was 1am and I'm the responsible friend uwu. if discord messages don't count then I was texting one of my friends calling Zero from megaman a himbo at like 5am
Last song you listened to: Kansas by Gorillaz
Last time you cried: a few days ago I think
Have you ever dated someone: nope! being a small town dyke that goes to a catholic school unfortunately doesn't give me many dating prospects 😅
Been cheated on: nah
Kissed someone and regretted it: I don't think so actually, I once kissed a friend and it was,,,,a lil weird and we're not actually friends anymore (unrelated) and I don't like her but,,,,it was just something that happened I guess
Lost someone special: not really
Been drunk and thrown up: never been drunk! I never drink enough to make me more than just a lil tipsy
List three fave colors: black green and purple
In the last year have you…
Made a new friend: yeah!
Fallen out of love: nope
Laughed until you cried: many times, I laugh at things really easily
Met someone that changed you: I have no sense of self so maybe lmao
Found out who your true friends are: haha yeah. it was fun having an "intervention" staged about me being "unnecessarily rude to everyone and unable to make friends" when I reported a kid for harassing my other friend and making sexist and racist comments. needless to say the person who did that's not my fuckin friend anymore
Found out someone was talking about you: hahaha.
Kissed someone on your FB friends list: don't have facebook
General
How many people on your FB friends list do you know irl: don't have facebook
Do you have any pets: unfortunately no though I adore all kinds of animals. I do lay somewhat of a claim to my friend's cat because she actually apparently likes me better than the people who live with her lmao (take that Lorna!)
Do you want to change your name: hmmm i don't think so tbh, I was thinking of going by a shortening of my middle name (Louise -> Lou) occasionally but idk lmao
What did you do for your last birthday: I don't think I've actually done anything for my birthday since I was like 10. I was gonna meet up with a few friends last year but coincidentally there was a school trip the same day and we got stuck in traffic on the way back so I couldn't do that :/
What time did you wake up today: about 4am. I went to sleep just after midnight and woke up four hours later unable to go back to sleep. I'm out of school for the summer but I've still been instinctively waking up at around the time I'd get up for school anyway but today just took the biscuit and woke me two hours before that
What were you doing at midnight last night: watching the snapcube Sonic 06 fandub
Name something you CANNOT wait for: uhhhhhhhh idk tbh. something will probably come to me immediately after I post this though
Last time you saw your mother: saw her like an hour ago
What is one thing you wish you could change about life: not to be stereotypical but money probably. my family's kinda in deep shit atm because we're paying out our arses to keep my grandma in the care home she's at bc we can't take care of her but that costs a serious amount of money so we don't have too much left for other stuff and it's just a tad Worrying
What are you listening to right now: I've got Gorillaz on shuffle on spotify and I can also kinda hear the rain outside
Have you ever talked to a person with the name Tom: unfortunately yes.
What’s getting on your nerves: thinking about my exam results that I'm not gonna get back until the end of August that decide my academic path for at least the next two years
Most visited website: YouTube and Tumblr
Nickname: not too many people call me nicknames anymore but cookie and amy-lou are what people used to call me (still do occasionally)
Relationship status: single
Zodiac sign: libra (+ aquarius moon and rising)
Pronouns: she/her or they/them + I also go by he/him in my head sometimes.....indecisive
Fave tv shows: I don't watch too much TV but uhhh recently I watched good omens and lucifer they were alright
Hair color: brown but I used to be super blonde when I was little. I'm also hopefully dyeing it soon, probably purple
Long or short: I prefer having my hair short and I've gone through cycles of long hair to short hair through my life lmao. the current short hair has stayed for three years so far though so thats A New Record
Height: 5'3
Do you have a crush on someone: idk tbh
What do you like about yourself: uh. despite being a major dumbass I'm actually quite clever and I like that I can help people with that. when I'm not hiding them behind my glasses or fringe I get complimented on my eyes occasionally so that's a nice physical thing. oh and also being gay as hell yeehaw
Tattoos: I don't have any but I'd kinda maybe want a simple one in the future
Righty or Lefty: righty
First surgery: never had one. I've never even fractured a bone somehow
First piercing: not actually got any piercings yet....my mum always said no piercings until I was 18 but I'm working on getting my ears pierced this summer
First best friend: this (only) girl I was friends with in like year 1 and 2. she left school after that and I never saw her again, Elizabeth if you're out there....
First sport you joined: ballet! I've been doing it for over a decade now lmao I'm almost at the point where I could become a qualified teacher if I wanted to (cue identity crisis over what I want out of life)
First pair of trainers: why??
Right now
Eating: toast
Drinking: woter
Listening to: this question has been asked three times now lmao, Gorillaz on Spotify
Want kids: probably not
Career: I want to be a translator or smth like that
Which is better:
Lips or eyes: eyes
Hugs or kissed: hugs
Shorter or taller: don't mind
Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms For Hugging
Sensitive or loud: sensitive probably
Hook up or relationship: relationship definitely
Troublemaker or hesitant: hmmmm idk
Have you ever:
Kissed a stranger: nope
Drank hard liquor: nope
Lost glasses/contacts: fuckin constantly
Sex on a first date: nope
Broke someone’s heart: uh maybe? there was this one kid that seemed to have been really into me for a while that I turned down when we were like 14 (sorry Jamie lmao but you were instrumental in me figuring out I didn't like dudes so thanks mate)
Had your own heart broken: nah
Been arrested: never
Turned someone down: yea
Cried when someone died: yea
Fallen for a friend: unfortunately lol potentially multiple times but I'm still a disaster who can't differentiate between strong romantic and platonic feelings wassup
Do you believe in:
Yourself: eh they're alright occasionally
Miracles: nope
Love at first sight: not really
Santa Claus: nope. not sure if my parents ever bothered that much keeping it secret that he wasn't real
Kiss on the first date: sure why not
Angels: nah
i tag: (only if you wanna do it since this is super long) @vulturousculturalist @jothriku @comicsansisasin + anyone who wants to do it. I'm not tagging too many people since this is A Lot and it seems like other people are already doing this stuff atm, have a fun tuesday
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grandzealot · 5 years
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☂ ⚓ ⛵
hella sweet || [ open ]
☂ What’s your best RP experience?
i have to gush about my best friend again. bc im 33yo now and i met him after i was thirty. ive had some terrible ppl i really adored in my life before and before i met my friend i had gotten over all that but i sorta figured that socially, whether platonically or romantically, id already been through so much and didnt think that life had much to teach me as far as relationships go?
and then i got to know this friend and its just mindblowing that you can have such a deep friendship in your life??? and the fact that it happened after id thought id grown up so much and been through so much and now theres this person who cares about me and who loves me and who i adore through the marrow of my bones and love so much like soul family? ( we probably tell each other we love each other at least ten times a day? ) and it has nothing to do with romance? and so much to do with creativity which is even a bigger and more constant part of me than romantic relationships ever were
its just beautiful and lifechanging and i want everyone to know you can come into some of the greatest connections of your life well after your wild partying years or busy college-ing years or whatever your twenties might be — and the nature of the connection might surprise you lmao
⚓ Are there any small details you tend to like in roleplays?
im a sucker for alliteration? idek why. i never cared about it when i was studying in school but now whenever i write and the same letters naturally come up im [ pacha meme ] and if my rp partner pulls it off nicely im licking my screen ( i really didnt care for it in school i thought it was ridiculous alliteration and assonance were even part of writing classes lmao idk what happened since then )
⛵ What genres do you like writing the most?
im actually not rly sure! i know i love spooky things. i know i love characters with odd extremist beliefs…
its probably not action bc i never know what to say and whenever i watch high action moments in movies its like at the start of climax scenes my mind is sent in a direction and then im off in my own head for a couple minutes and finally come back to the world of the movie with no idea what the hell just happened during this intense part i was supposed to be watching
i guess i tend to like things that are more subdued ( that i can actually follow ) with lil tastes of something heavier
but overall i think i like a good variety, leaning toward heavier moods. im an extremely positive person irl and do my best to be kind and loving – but i have zero interest in those kinds of characters when it comes to writing and stories lmao. i think maybe bc i devote so much energy to cultivating a healthy space irl that when i want to sit and go places i dont usu go with writing i dont go to healthy habits or relationships lmao
me sitting down to write: [ cracks knuckles ] time for TRASH
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backwards-like
ok ok, sorry sorry sorry i’m back. i’m a few weeks behind and watching these episodes for the first time no spoilers.
Previously on Insecure: Living with Daniel was a lick. Daniel wants to make connections at the club. We Got Y’all needs to hire people of color. And Molly switched to a black run law firm.
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Looky looky looky. Issa and Daniel are sleeping in bed together, platonically of course. Daniel teases her and at first you think they are still playing platonic, but they soon begin kissing and Daniel goes down on her. There is totally a scene full of Issa Rae's naked pelvis and hard nipples which I have to say is an improvement over her very awkward sex scenes last season. I approve. Idk about the eating Flamin Hots while getting head, but I understand the sentiment being expressed. But then! That was a fake out too, yet another of Issa's frequent fantasies about the person she wishes she could be but is not, like yelling at her coworkers at work or going on dates with her ex who dumped her last season. She got me that time.
Why are they sleeping together platonically? Issa quickly rolls out of bed and leaves before acting on any of the things she's thinking.
Molly is taking her bulldog to the dog groomer. She hasn't started at her new job yet. Issa hasn't had the interview yet for the invitation she had in the last episode but Molly is just happy she will be getting her own place soon. Issa clearly isn't quite ready to leave the safety (not to mention financially beneficial) arrangement she has with Daniel, but isn't being totally honest about that. Her makeup looks fantastic though.
Molly doesn't see what the big deal is since Issa is sleeping on the couch, but Issa's awkward response makes it clear they she and Daniel have started sharing a bed. Like a good friend, Molly knows this isn't a good idea, but Issa defends her poor choices while eating a dog biscuit.
We Got Y'all is participating in like... a non profit fair or something? I really like Frieda in a supervisory role, and it looks like Issa is doing better from the redheaded stepchild position she had been in before.
Meanwhile, Molly is having her first day at her new law firm. Her dress has a confusing belt thing going on but a cute ribbon tie at the neck. She meets all of the staff and I enjoy just the concept of a firm staffed entirely by black people. That's a nice thing to see on TV. And the view isn't bad either.
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Can I just say that I actually love LA? I expected to hate it and for it to be full of nothing but bleach blonde fake boobed bimbos. First of all the people were totally normal - far more "normal" "American" people than I was expecting, which is to say... overweight, basically. New York was a lot worse/better - nothing but thin and fit people in really fantastic clothes. I never saw a fat person in New York until I went to Times Square with the tourists. I could totally live in LA and be completely happy with the vibe, it is honestly not that dissimilar to Chicago at all. After visiting a few times I really don't know why people hate LA so much. You know what I hated was San Francisco... a surprisingly ugly city! And before I ever went to California I used to tell people if I were to live anywhere there it would probably be SF. Oof. That's what happens when you speak in ignorance, sis.
Daniel is working on a new track which sounds like a cross between a video game soundtrack and a sad "my life was hard" rap song. He's hoping Spyder will like it, and solicits criticism from his producer friend. I don't know his name, sorry. The producer friend doesn't like basically any of the components of the song and criticizes things he thinks Spyder won't like. I'm not sure if we should trust his opinion more than Daniel's at this point. The caption says that he "strips down" the beat. They both sound like the same sad ass song to me, so idk.  But Daniel is clearly uncomfortable with the criticism.
It turns out We Got Y'all is hosting a booth at a job fair, looking for the more black employees Issa suggested. Frieda and her manager haircut are happy with the turnout. For some reason, Dias de La Muerte dancers show up complete with a band and everything and I guess job fairs in LA are more interesting than any I've ever been to... which now that I'm thinking about it is zero...
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It turns out this is part of a presentation for another employer that works with musically gifted kids in underrepresented neighborhoods. Issa goes over and talks to the staff there and seems impressed with their shtick. Or maybe impressed with the cutie manning the booth.
Uh oh. At Molly's new firm she's learning the office doesn't use standard tech that she's used to expediting her work with. Instead of DocuSign, they use Adobe and a courier. Yikes. I worked at a nonprofit that still didn't have efax and, why? This is the whole ass future. We wasted so much paper printing and faxing everything manually and they didn't even have the big blue recycling bins, which annoyed me to no end. They are also ok with CPT time on the courier deliveries, which is clearly unacceptable to Molly. Sigh. Why do we do this, you know?
Issa is meeting with the property management company and is being interviewed by an older black guy, which is a good sign. Let me reiterate that her makeup is lovely. It seems like the part time position is more the role of a super than... something Issa would really be interested in. She would also get a discounted apartment - about half off - that the interviewer is readily willing to give to her. He asks if she wants it, and at least she has a good bathroom mirror again with which to comtemplate it.
Later, Issa is tagging along with Daniel at the laundromat, who is complaining that his producer friend took out all the "musicianship" in his track - he wanted the string accompaniment, he wanted the instruments. Daniel is trying to elevate his production with Nordic influences and unique touches. Issa offers gently that when he gets to the next level he can do whatever he want, suggesting nonverbally that he should play the game for now and get creative later.
Issa tells him she picked up the second job, so now she can move out. Daniel points out that three jobs is a lot but Issa, perhaps pressured by Molly and Kelly, is really focused on getting her own place. Daniel tells her he really doesn't mind, and their chemistry is lovely as they flirt and get in each others' faces. They are doing a good job of building the tension because I really just want them to bone already.
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Back at Molly's firm, a coworker asks if she wants to take a walk for lunch because she's in a fitbit challenge with her MiL. I am sharing data from my Apple watch with my sister and my niece and biiiitch... being a child is the best. She regularly gets 500+ move points a day while I struggle to reach 400, wtf is this child doing all day? She clearly moves so much more often during a day than I do, lol. No wonder we get fat as we get older. However Molly turns down this invitation - she is used to working through lunch, in case you weren’t picking up on all the signs that the black owned firm does not run as strenuously compared to the white-run environments that Molly is used to. The emphasize the point, the storage room is just randomly inside the building instead of offsite, as Molly would have expected. She clearly is not a good fit for this environment, and honestly she should just acknowledge that.
Girls night. The four girls are at a bar listening to Molly complain about the firm. Issa points out there are Mexican law firms as well, for Molly to complain about. Of course Tiffany, the obnoxious one, agrees that black things are janky. I mean... this is not an argument I want to get into for obvious reasons.
The girls go through examples of supporting and not supporting black businesses - Tiffany loves Beyonce, so although she signed up for Tidal she never goes on it. Kelly has a white accountant even though she herself is an accountant. I feel like this all the time. I feel pressured to give clicks to black articles, lol. I feel guilty for skipping links on Twitter about "black issues." I feel a responsibility to care and show support even about things that I don't fucking actually give a fuck about. Also Issa is wearing a dress that definitely showed up in some pivotal scene last season.
Tiffany hints about the changes from pregnancy - she hates that she can't fit her clothes anymore and she's being excluded from group chats. But the overall point is Molly should give the situation some time and try to adjust. Is Amanda Diva really pregnant IRL? Her pregnancy belly is realistic.
Kelly was helping Issa find an apartment - the best she could do with Issa's credentials is something with a "half bath," which, biiiiitch. So Issa breaks the news that she is, in fact, going to stay with Daniel a little longer. They're not sleeping together and they're getting along so she doesn't see what the problem is. Her friends try to convince her there is a problem, and shit like this scene is why I don't listen to bitches when it comes to my romantic life. Don't need all that extraneous input on what choices to make that are best for ME.
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Back at We Got Y'all, Issa and Frieda are interviewing one of the people that showed up at the job fair. For some reason, Issa clearly isn't feeling it - and why is she taking part of this interview in the first place? Is it literally just because they need a black opinion on who to hire? The girl compliments Issa's sweater, perhaps perceiving the bad vibes she's kind of rudely wafting. The candidate asks sincerely what Issa thinks of the job, and Issa answers honestly that "they are how they are." When Issa says she's been there five years and the candidate concludes that Issa must really like it, she blanches with no response. But later, Issa checks out the website for the musical empowerment employer, so maybe she will find the motivation to make a change.
More of Molly's black firm, more of her disdain for the loose standards. This time they call her out, and everyone at the table laughs politely.
Check out Daniel! Despite Spyder's reluctance, apparently they have established a working relationship as Spyder shows up at the studio to meet with Daniel and the other engineer. It turns out a friend of Spyder did get shot at the club the other night. He probably died because when Daniel asks if Spyder is alright, Spyder takes a beat and responds "....nah."
Daniel plays his track for Spyder instead of the pared down version his producer recommended. The producer asks if Spyder wants to hear the other version and Daniel is clearly annoyed at this power move. He does play the producer - Khalil's - version, and Spyder thinks that version is hot as well. At first you aren't sure if Khalil is really being a snake - clearly both versions are good, just for different sensibilities - but then he takes over the session and starts playing more of his own stuff, to Daniel's chagrin.
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Issa and Daniel are having dinner... I wanna say at Gladstone's! But that's a totally uneducated guess, lol. Daniel is in a bad mood, but Issa is oblivious. "Is that Jay-Z and Beyonce?" she says; "No, it's us! We cute!" she playfully jokes. This breaks through Daniel's bad mood, and Issa explains she wanted to thank him for his generosity, but she is going to take the part time job and move out. Daniel responds petulantly, and eventually explains the snake move by Khalil in the studio. Surprisingly, Issa takes Khalil's side, saying that Khalil knows what Spyder likes, and Daniel would be squandering this opportunity to be so prideful.
Daniel says he thinks it's funny that Issa is giving *him* career advice and... while maybe that's valid, does Daniel even have a job that pays actual money? Cause I have to say I have not seen any evidence of that over the last three seasons. He throws his "saving you from some shit" actions in her face and Issa is understandably hurt. The dinner is ruined. They still sleep together in the bed that night but they are turned away from each other in terse silence.
Daniel halfway apologizes for taking out his issues with Khalil on her but Issa only dryly replies that it's fine. He turns over and starts spooning and kissing her, which she reluctantly gives into. Toxic. I mean, I get it, but fuck, toxic relationships. It seems redundant to even complain about it because, fuck it, aren't we all toxic sometimes too - it's not always just the other person. This time, he goes down on her for real.
Unfortunately, Issa isn't into it. She says it doesn't feel right, and I don't blame her. They lie next to each other awkwardly and eventually turn away from each other again.
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the soundtrack says something something something about loving each other despite their pride and yeah... I get it, lol. I would have got it without the on the nose elaboration.
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shitthehousessay · 6 years
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 Alright, it took a day (albeit I haven't really had much of a chance to work on it), but it's finally done. Here's my responses to the 102 questions^^. I probably put too much personal info on this site lol.
I’m doing this on my laptop because of how long it is, but answers are under the cut. Hope you enjoy random tidbits about me!
--Zero (the [other] Ravenclaw)
1. What is their full name?
While I usually use and prefer Zero Ace as an online name, my irl name is Solomon.
2. Zodiac sign
Pisces
3. In detail describe how they look
I'm 5'10" with a build like Shaggy Rodgers. I'm about,,,, less than 120lbs (that's a guess really, it's probably way less or slightly more.). You ever see a cloud? Yeah, imagine one as black wavy/curly hair with red tips (natural, not dyed) that goes to about the bottom of my neck. Brown eyes, half philipino (no, I don't know any of the language), decent moustache, and I've been told by various people that they thought I was a stoner when they first met me.
4. How old are they?
I am 16
5. What clothes to they like to wear?
I don't really have any kind of set style either. I usually just go with whatever's comfy for me.
6. What’s their favorite piece of clothing?
I've got this really soft brown fake leather jacket that my dad got me about two or three years ago that I used to wear consistently, but I'm not sure if I have a 'favorite'.
7. Any piercings?
Nope
8. Do they have any other jewelry they wear?
I wear a Timex Ironman analogue watch that I got at Walmart a few years ago ('twas on sale) and a ring with a part that spins in the middle that I bought in like sixth grade at the Newseum in DC.
9. Any tattoos?
Nah
10. How old are they?
See above
11. What do they smell like?
Idk, disappointment probably
12. What are their four trinkets?
(I'm gonna do stuff on my school backpack for this one) -- I've got a Ministry of Magic keychain, a Pokeball keychain, a Spiderman keychain, and a Ravenclaw house emblem pin.
13. GOVERNMENT MANDATED FERSONA
Roomba with a knife taped to it
14. What kind of magic are they good at?
Accidental Procrastination, aka Time Travel
15. What kind of magic are they bad at?
Luck
16. Of the four, six or seven magical elements which are they most connected to? Four: fire,air water earth. six: fire,air,water, wood,earth, metal. Seven:fire, air, water, wood, earth, metal, aither.
Not sure if this is asking about choosing a single element or a group, so I'm gonna go with water.
17. What does their gateway look like prior to their memory loss? What does it look like afterwards?
(I'm not sure what this is asking)
18. Do they have a familiar? If they do. What type of animal is it? What is it’s name? Is it still around after they lost their memory?
I have an old yellow cat named Iris and he's pretty cool. We share birthdays and he's one year older than me.
19. Have they ever cursed someone?
I have tried and I will continue to try.
20. How do they handle those headaches/migraines?
I sometimes put headphones in and listen to ambience after taking some medicine, but on some of my bad days I just wait for them to pass, even when it takes a few hours.
21. What tarot card do they connect the most with?
I'm gonna be honest: I know next to nothing about tarot cards.
22. Where were they born?
Tennessee
23. What is their favorite color?
Like a light blue or teal. Specifically though? #41A9B8
24. What is their least favorite color?
This is a tough one. I'm gonna go with like a rusty brown
25. Are they right handed, left handed or ambidextrous?
Right handed
26. What were they like as a child?
This would take a while, but I was a little shit, imo. (Also, kinda hard for me to remember specifically rn)
27. What were their parents like?
My dad's okay, he's not the best but he's doing great. My mom? Well, let's just say my opinion of her has always been pretty decent of her up until around when 2018 started.
28. Do they have any siblings? If the answer is yes how many?
Yes, I have three half brothers, two on my mom's side (who I wish would die) and one on my dad's side.
29. Do they have any other relatives they are close with?
I've got a lot of aunts (dad's side) that I consider myself close with, along with a few cousins. There's also my Grandma and Grandpa (dad's side) that I love a lot. I also have a nephew who's about I wanna say 5 or 6 years old who's a blast to hang out with.
30. What are they afraid of?
Spiders kinda scare me. And a few things associated with low self-esteem that I don't want to mention here.
31. What do they identify as?
I am a Demi-Pansexual dude
32. Do they have any allergies?
None that I know of
33. Do they have any other medical problems?
I can't think of any specifics right now
34. What about mental health issues?
Depression and Anxiety both are self-diagnosed though. I'm waiting until after highschool, or until the age where I can legally keep things like those to myself without having to tell my parents, before I go to get them diagnosed
35. What’s that personal hygiene regimen like?
Showers at least once a day, twice if possible. Remember to try to brush your teeth, too.
36. Favorite rock or gemstone?
Amythest because it's my birthstone
37. Favorite tree?
Redwoods are pretty cool
38. Favorite type of weather?
Not too hot, not too cold and sunny and cloudless or overcast and rainy, depending on mood
39. Least favorite type of weather?
The type of cloudless hot day that just saps your energy away like nothing else
40. What is their favorite season? (remember winter is summer and spring is fall)
Winter
41. How many languages could they speak before the memory loss? How many do they currently speak?
English and very broken French
42. Do they sing or play any instruments?
I sing from time to time (albeit not very good) and I have an ocarina that I really want to take time and learn
43. What do they tend to joke about?
Self-deprecation is my go-to, then there's vine humor and some standup, then just nonsense humor (See: bORGER)
44. After a stressful day how do they relax?
Nap a bit, then some music and/or video games
45. Guilty pleasures?
Idk, I can't think of any. Sonic ‘06, maybe is the closest thing that I have to one.
46. idiosyncrasies?
I guess you could list a lot of the usual ADHD stimming methods. I also adjust my glasses from the side sometimes whenever I’m nervous/anxious or when I want to appear confident. Adjusting my watch on my wrist is also something that I do a lot. I know I have a lot more, but :/
47. How do they act when they first meet someone new? How quickly do they warm up to them?
I can be kinda timid and quiet. I usually try to listen in on conversations involving that person/people to try to find somethings that I can remember and use for initiating conversations, especially if it’s with stuff that I know a bit about. It usually takes two or three semi-long times amd well interactions spent with me for me to start being comfortable around other people. I don't warm up too quickly, unless if you can get through my barriers pretty well
48. In what order would they prioritize Love, fame, money, power, and knowledge?
Love, knowledge, money, power, fame
49. List four or more things they love to do
Draw, read, talk with internet friends, play video games, browse the internet
50. List four or more things they hate to do
doing boring and uninteresting school work, being an unnecessary nuisance, hearing about family drama, engaging in school drama
51. List five or more things they have said that sum up who they are
"I'm laughing my ass off rn because the program the state is using for EOC testing was apparently hacked so we aren't testing today, but when my class heard it almost everyone started looking at me and saying I did it." [...] "Meanwhile: I nearly tripped over my backpack"
"Oh good, we get to make memes of stuff in the Louvre for extra credit. Looks like my grade is about to rise drastically."
"I’m gonna go provoke this cult so I can get asks in my inbox"
“I stole this haircut from a lion”
"I have many problems"
52. How do they react to (both verbal and physical) conflict?
I'm a pacifist so I try to stay out of situations like that (They bring up too many negative memories and emotions for me)
53. What kind of bad habits to they have?
I have a lot of trouble with a perfectionist mentality. It gets me into a lot of sticky situations
54. What kind of character faults do they have?
What even is self-esteem/ self-worth/ self-love????? To me, my needs come last. Self-doubt out the wazoooooo. Tons of unresolved shit. That's barely even scratching the surface.
55. What’s their best trait in their opinion?
I try to have a lot of empathy for people and I want to make people happy, even if I’m not happy.
56. What do they think of their appearance?
I like mine, at least a bit.
57. How do they interact with people in a position of authority?
Honestly, it just depends on the person. If the person in question is a dick, you better believe I’m not going to react well to their face.
58. Who did they look upto as a kid?
Mostly like video game characters from games that I played.
59. How do they interact with kids?
I like kids pretty well.
60. Do they want kids of their own someday?
I don't know. I don't think I'm at a point in my life where I can answer that right now.
61. Are they religious? If so what god/goddess or gods/goddesses do they worship?
I'm agnostic
62. What do they think the meaning of life is?
Idk... Maybe... Self-discovery, in a way.
63. What would they want their last words to be?
There are three roads. Maybe omething meaningful, like "Thank you," maybe something vague and prophetic like, "You won't have to wait much longer," or maybe, just maybe, something like, "I'll be back bitches!!!"
64. What do they want to do before they die?
I want to make at least one game and book that people enjoy and that I will be satisfied with
65. What/how do they want to be remembered for after they die?
I would like to be remembered fondly by people who knew me.
66. How do they express affection?
I'm usually very asocial, so if I make an active effort to maintain communication with someone, then they usually mean something to me. I also send memes and stuff. Also, I try to open up a little more around people that I trust
67. What do they normally eat for breakfast?
It usually just depends on how much time I have in the morning. Can range from poptarts to a slice of toast between two pieces of bread to leftover pizza
68. Do they like spicy food?
Yeah
69. Favorite fruit and or vegetable?
Favorite fruit is probably mandarin oranges and my favorite vegetable is probably carrots
70. Do they like sweets?
On occasion
71. Do they drink alcohol? If they do, what do they act like when their drunk?
Nope, but probably like a damn fool
72. How do they take their tea/coffee?
I like sweet ice tea or maybe some herbal tea with a small bit of sugar or honey. As for coffee, I don't usually drink it, but I can drink it pure black or french vanilla
73. What food would they refuse to eat?
Most things that have a weird texture and/or smell
74. Is there anything they eat that most people would find unappealing?
You ever drink just straight sauces? Like A1 steak sauce or barbecue sauce? Yeah....
75. When going on the road what food could they not live without?
I need me some original ritz
76. What meal gives them a sense of nostalgia?
Not sure about nostalgia, but my school sells fresh-made chocolate chip cookies during lunch on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and I get them a lot when I'm having bad days
77. What do they do when no one’s around?
I sometimes sing and maybe hop around, but I usually just do stuff that I do when people are around (like browse tumblr)
78. How would they react if a prized possession got stolen?
Cry, feel numb, or go ballistic. There is no in-between.
79. What’s the first thing they would buy if they won the lottery?
A better computer, that's for sure
80. What would their favorite modern invention be?
The Nintendo Switch!!
81. In a new unfamiliar place what do they do?
Observe the surroundings from the sidelines before doing anything
82. Someone just threatened them what do they do?
It depends on the situation, but I either brush it off or I take precautionary measures (like a protective order if my life is being threatened)
83. A rather well rich looking woman just dropped her purse and didn’t notice. What do they do?
I might try to give it back.... after I check her wallet and get some cash as an award...
84. What’s the worst thing someone has said to them?
The one that sticks out the most is probably the time when one of my older half-brothers was yelling at me and said that if I ever wonder why people say that I act like a school shooter it's because I act like one most of the time (all this stemmed because I was frustrated over a book recommendation not posting and instead of letting me silently cool down, my mom and brother kept on talking crap about me and I decided to say "Just shut up for a few minutes").
Oh, but there’s also the time when I went with my dad to the divorce case’s hearing to testify against my mom and my brothers and the judge looked at me and said “You’re 16, right? In two  years, you’ll be 18. When I was 18 I was heading to war. So, if you’re gonna cry, go do it somewhere else because I don’t want anyone coming up here and being a crybaby in my courtroom.” That fucking stunned me when he said it.
 85. What is the strangest thing they’ve ever come across?
"can i hear your belly" has to be the weirdest and most unsettling direct message that I have ever gotten from someone who isn't a bot and it haunts me to this day
86. Someone just stole food from them what do they do?
I don't usually eat a lot, so if someone takes food from me I don't really care.
87. They meet a man at a crossroads. The man says they can have everything they’ve ever wanted. What happens next?
I would check to see if there was anything I want to make sure that my family and friends and people who are close to me that haven’t experienced mental illnesses like depression or anxiety to never develop any mental illnesses as long as they live, before anything.
88. As a child what would they say they wanted to be as an adult? ie. When I grow up I’m going to _______
My dream has always been and continues to be to become a successful video game developer and/or producer. I want to help create worlds to escape to when the real world becomes a bit too overbearing.
89. What’s their D&D alignment?
I consider myself a neutral good
90. What is the stupidest thing they’ve ever done?
Oof, that's a long list. Probably entering the crawlspace under my Grandma's house too fast and getting a part of my lower back pretty bad. Boy, did it leave a pretty big scar.
91. Have they ever got in trouble with the law or been arrested?
Nope
92. Do they know how to win a fight?
I like to think so. I'm not going to not play dirty if I feel like I'm in danger. Also try to use the environment to your advantage if possible.
93. Are they good at hand to hand combat?
I dunno. I doubt it, but I haven't really tried.
94. Have they ever stolen something?
I have, but really only minor things and only from people that I hate
95. Have they ever killed someone?
Not yet, :p
96. What/who do they find disgusting?
I can't look at stuff or pictures like decaying stuff (like dead stuff) without gagging
97. What upsets them the most?
Conflict mostly. The thought that I'm bothering people also does it. And I feel odd, to say the least about physical contact.
98. What anime character would they be?
I feel like maybe Fafnir (Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid) or either Shinra or Mikado (Durarara!) could fit me.
99. What disney character would they be?
I didn't really know about this one, so I asked a few of my friends and one of them [the one who actually answered my question with an actual Disney character] said that I remind them of Sora from Kingdom Hearts, on the grounds that I've "got a good heart" and I'm "always confused". It was the nicest thing I've heard all week^^
100. What monster would they be?
Knife-wielding tentacle
101. What mythological figure would they be?
Tbh, I don't know enough mythology off the top of my head to answer this question.
102. List three songs that you associate with them.
Hmm.... this one is very tough for me because there are different songs that define different points in my life... As for songs that kinda aren’t bound by specific points in my life, even if I haven’t known these songs all my life, I'm thinking that these could fit the best here:
ECHO (feat. GUMI) by Crusher-P
Simple Life by Fox Stevenson
Canonball (Mythos Remix) from Megaman Zero 3
Anyway, I hope you now know a little more about me now. Do what you will with the information, I guess  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . It’s really late for me and I’m really tired so I may go ahead and get some sleep for tonight. Have a good one everyone^^ !
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theday · 6 years
Text
mx in sg: the experience
FHJGDGHSHGFGGHD as usual starting off with the keyboard smash anyway! ill be talking about my experience seeing mx live yesterday (3/3) second part is abt when mx were on stage but its quite dry bc i dont remember much
ill be going in chronological order so [jooheon voice] lets get it
i was gonna meet my friend (karissa) at 3:30 because we were going to meet the person selling us our tickets at 4pm but that got delayed until like 5pm which was fine though
anyway i met her and we started queueing because although official queuing was supposed to start at 6pm they pushed it forward to 3pm (which was unfortunate for those who were busy and couldnt come until much later - the organizer never released an official statement saying the queuing started earlier) 
so as soon as karissa and i arrived at like. the place (near the venue) we got lost for about a whole 5 minutes lmao so i texted james asking him where the hell . they were and we made it and joined the queue immediately (we were the last few people of the second batch) 
we just sat there and. collected freebies and our banners (for the fan events) while we waited for the seller to come give us our tickets 
when they came i was like . fucking screaming because one of the seller was someone i knew from primary school (4 years ago) and i was likeudghdgghdhsh??????? that was the highlight of the daydhfhs
after we bought the tickets and shit we were slightly concerned they wouldnt work lmao but they did god bless
while we waited for the doors to open and stuff a group of people did dance covers of mx songs and later other groups too everyone was cheering for them which was nice fgfghdgh
the hype died down and we just waited quietly until it hit 6pm and i started listening to the day6 stream LMAO but after 4 songs i had to stop because suddenly everyone was standing up?? 
for nothing though because we sat down like 30 minutes later at around 7? 7:30? everyone stood up again and this time people were given wrist tag things u kno.. ya there were three (?) kinds i think gold for those who held a superfan ticket, pink for general admission and some other colour for those who got tickets for free and could sit on chairs dhdghs 
it was a free standing event in an outdoor space so superfan ticket holders got to stand closer to the stage? and those with general admission had to stand behind us and it was separated by a barricade 
we entered at like 8pm because we were the second batch (there was a third batch behind us) and it was already filled?? not exactly but from where we were standing we couldn’t really see the stage 
in the end we were in the middle which wasnt exactly the best but its definitely better than those standing all the way at the back rip 
i think at like 7:45 they started playing the music videos and everyone was shouting the lyrics it was cute i loved it but my throat told me to die after i yelled for like all of their mvsjhdgdghd 
also when all in played u bet my ass i jumped up and downdhg
also water wasnt allowed inside which i think is normal so i chugged mine down as fast as i could before entering (i had a little left and the lady let me in with it thanks queen) (i drank it all before they even came on stage)
the hype was real though and it was great 
when it hit 8:30pm the introduction video started and suddenly i was getting pushed forward and wow . dont go if ur not a fan of people invading your personal bubble. i wish fans had more sense to Not push around and stuff but what can we do rip 
other than that when they came out oh gOD when they came out i was likebfhgddgs??!?!??!?! i had to stand on my tip toes to see them
they started with beautiful and i was liek. dissociating i jsut sang along and shit it was amazing?????? 
the first person i saw was kihyun and then minhyuk?? i dont remember who else i saw but iw ss losing my fucking mind over how good everyone looked
anyway after that was um.............. fuck. .... i dont know..........
IFMFHGHSGF IM CRYING MY BRAIN TOLD ME TO DIE
white love maybe? i think they did like an introduction of themselves ??
anyway ill figure the songs out later they started playing games i think or was that another time im bad at this clearly 
ask james for the details of the songs i dont remember shit from that i just remember singing along to the songs badly and moving my arm back and forthhfgsgh 
also team work makes the dream work because karissa was recording and i helped her to zoom in and ensure they looked human with the brightness and stuff fhjdgsgh 
but !! everyone did the fanchants really well it was so heartworming 
also during white love they made us do that one part u know the one and it was awesome!!!!! during white sugar they threw m&m’s and i got to get a good look at their faces without having to look at the screen!! 
honestly was good too god im so happie 
hm. they did a mon-story time and showed us pics from previous eras (trespass > i dnt remmeber fuck > beautiful world tour > mxray > first win) ?? might be wrong dghdgs and they talked about stuff that happened i blanked out though so i dont know what they said 
also when they flashed the first win part they started throwing hands @ each other usual mx shit dhjgsgd
we chanted monsta x and they chanted monbebe back at us :-( i love them
i think changkyun said he doesnt wnat to do another season of mxray LMAODHFGHHGS fucking loser 
the translator made me laugh he was super monotone fhgdghfsh
then they played mon-ccaso dghghfsh and drew what they wanted to eat with singaporean mbb!!
there was a bug in front of wonho and he got !!!! fhdgh cute .
shownu: ????? what was it ?? a drink it looked like a cocktail and kihyun was like “non alcoholic” dghffsgs
wonho: ice cream!!! hes so cute his drawing was so cute also he wrote monbebe before they announced the game his handwriting is so pretty tf
minhyuk: ramyeon lmao (in his words: traditional korean noodles) 
kihyun: uh oH HE DREW A CRABFGHGSHS and said chili and pepper crab!!!
hyungwon: he drew a shrimpfhggdgs fucking . it was so cute
jooheon: mandu!! or dumplings :D
changkyun: water. JHDHGDGSG KING HONESTLY IW AS LIKE JUMPING UP AND DOWN IN EXCITEMENT!! love me a water stan 
anyway they talked about what they drew and when it came to minhyuk’s turn he was like guess and everyone just shit on him DHJDHSHG 
some examples: “hair” Gghdhg and some fans (including me) screamed cucumberhjfghgs let this man live 
minhyuk also tried to make fun of jooheons drawing but it failed bc none of us understood his joke
so they made us vote by screaming and they each stood up while holding their sketchbooks and we’d scream
winner was changkyun (i yelled my heart out and jumped bitch)
FHGSGG W INNER HAD TO DO AEGYO THOUGHDG played urself
they did oppaya and i think there are fancams somewhere
then they made wonho do it hhdggs best 1 minute of my life
after that was uhh??????? brain machine broke i dont know im not even going in order anymore
they either did from zero first or the fan videos were shown first
if so the fan videos were of fans talking about how much they love/appreciate mx and it was sweet after that we raised our banners for the fan vid
and then the CAKE came for wonho and we sang happy birthday to wonho (kihyun asked us to sing once too at the start hjdghgsg we did that in english this time it was in korean) 
also funny hfgdhgs thing... they talked in korean and a lot of people replied in korean so they got shockedhfgh FUCJ DAY6 ok safe im listening now
i think they (minhyuk?) asked who thought/if he was handsome and got rly happie when we said yea
after him someone asked too LOLJHDGSG
back 2 whatever fdsh um oh yeah the cake was done to look like ramyeon in a pot :D ill add a link
wonho cut himself with the knife D-: babie 
he kept wanting to eat it though so hopefully he liked it 
maybe after that they did from zero???? ufhffghsgghdg idk
after that was hero!!!!!!! god we were all so pumped 
shine forever next 
and then they stopped to take a break i thinkfhgshgd 
at some point they asked fans (a jooheon stan and a wonho one) what songs they liked :-D the jooheon one said beautiful and the other said ill be there if im not wrong
they also made the rappers sing bits from some songs hfgsg i dont remember which songs tho hdhs
changkyun tried his besthjdg
they did their ending ment and went to dramarama!! 
after that it was silent for like 5 minutes max as we chanted mx and for encore
they came out and did ill be there (?) (first verse to chorus) and talked again before doing 5:14! 
they were dressed in casual tshirts which was a relief hjghgdh because it was reallly fuckng hot hdh changkyun mentioned the weather too sorry dude thats life
they waved at fans and played amongst themselves kihyun dumped water on jooheon LMAO i got a clear view of that
stay hydrated !
they just kept dumping water on each other i love a family :-D
and then they said bye and left
jooheon kept going byEE though dhgdhs hes so cute :-( 
ok heres what i thought abt the monstas themselves
kihyun looked especially good with that tie by the way 
jesus i got to see wonho with dark hair i truly. died
ALSO SHOWNU LOOKS SO HANDSOME IRL!!!! MY WIG WAS SNATCHED!!!!!!!!!!!
hyungwon was rly cute too when he interacted with the fans :-(
there was one time wonho smiled and it was caught on the screen i . felt my heart burst in that moment
alsowwhen minhyuk took center position for their choreos he has this ?? charisma ??? its amazong like the one smirk/grin he does u know that? yeah i saw it in beautoful and died
joohoen and changkyun also did their best hyping mbbs up by yelling to sing along and stuff ihdjgf i love them
this is just mx loving hours 
also kihyun did the DHDHHSH EYE SMILE!!! HE DID IT SO MANY TIMES HE WAS SO HAPPIE I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!
i didnt get to see jooheon much but he was so playful with minhyuk it was so cute!!!!!!! 
they all look so good and sound even better live!!! kihyuns adlibs god help me. 
i love them so much. i really do fhhdghghs im happy i went no more regrets and no more telling myself i didnt have a blast because i!!!! i loved every second of it even when i got someones hair stuck to my arm LMAO 
after it ended we immediately left for the exit andggdghs WOW standing up i was fine but moving?? moving was HELL my legs hurt so bad
ok so we got home and thats that but like.... heres where my self reflection comes in
so you dont have to read this part
i think. the reason i dont remember much is because.. i dont want to? like. at some point i got a clear view of wonho in the Flesh and i was thinkng about how i was really seeing them? for real????? and i got. really sad i think?? 
so to prevent myself from getting sad i probably tried to forget? everything?? theres also my bad memory of course but i cant even remember their faces i feel like its because im trying to forget or some deep shit 
anyway i think im also makig myself not be happy??? this is phrased v bad but its like im trying to kill the fun and only think abt the negatives of the whole event
which wasnt even much so its like. my minds blankfhjfhd
talking about it here helps though like i get to. share and actually talk about what happened so yeah i can say that i had fun even though i couldnt see them i had a blast singing along it was awesome
the only bad part was how i didnt like watching from the screens because it felt like i wasnt seeing them live?? ooMGHDDS DAY6 ARE DOING BETTTER BTTER
tldr; im not that upset over it now thank god and i can proudly say i had fun and although i cant remember much it was a great experience
thank you for coming to my tedtalk if you did <3
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identitycris1s · 3 years
Text
im back
hi just thought id pop in with a status update! maybe i’ll break this down into categories. feel like im doing an email update (ew!) but this rly is probs the best way to structure this post...
work / school (?)
work has been....aite. idk what to say. idk if i have unrealistic expectations of what work is supposed to be, but the idealist in me thinks its wrong to not even try and find something that seems meaningful / is deeply fulfilling. i think im mature enough to get that work isnt supposed to be fun / exciting every single day but bro this daily grind / sense of dread / utter disinterest / feeling of futility / frustration / disenchantment surely isnt the correct state of affairs.....at least let me try and find something that is a better fit, thats more stimulating, that feels more NATURAL to me? i just dont think im cut out to be a lawyer. sure i sometimes like arguing and making my point and i like that everyone i work with is smart and interesting and generally kind and reasonable and i like the prestige of the job and feeling like ppl respect me and i like the decent pay and the humane hours but.....i feel unmotivated to be a good lawyer. i think i find it difficult / disingenuous to always 100% get behind my client and advocate for their best interests. i tend to see things from a zoomed out perspective, like WHY are we fighting, WHY cant we just settle, WHY are the claimants pursuing this absolutely crap and unmeritorious claim and WHY do we have to defend it when its stupid and bound to fail (cos access2justice i guess but still, WHY), WHY cant we just hash things out in a meeting instead of sending emails here and there and wasting time, WHY do we have to answer stupid questions, WHY WHY WHY
and i think public policy is sort of an answer to that....i think theres more questioning of why we do things and why a policy will or will not work, in a macro sense - what is good for society at large. whereas in law (at least in litigation) its how can we just move this case forward and help the client, which is often not the most productive thing to do in a macro sense - very much a zero sum game. i get that shitty / unmeritorious claims still need to be defended against and someone has to do it and I GET IT but i just dont think i want to be that person defending these claims...or bringing them for that matter.....ultimately i cant fully / sincerely separate the overarching sense of futility from the duty to do a good job.
sigh. well at least ive kind of figured out this isnt for me. which is scary cos being a lawyer in this firm is pretty much a career for life - truly an iron rice bowl, i could probably make partner in maybe 4 or 5 years and live a comfortable upper middle class life...but i cant bring myself to do that. i cant bring myself to not give myself a shot at doing something i actually find interesting, stimulating and that i care about deeply. call me crazy! we’ll see where this brings me in 5 years’ time....:) 
anyway most ppl at work (at least in my team) know that im most likely gonna leave soon. i rly only told 2 ppl (my boss cos he had to sign off on my testimonial and G cos she was quitting anyway)...but somehow ppl found out one way or another. i dont rly mind and ppl have been taking it pretty well and have been kind and encouraging (i guess why would they not take it well, im hardly indispensable) but i get a bit antsy thinking - what if i dont get in...then what? do i just put my head down and continue here (BUT IM SO SAD) or do i just quit without any prospects and try to find a policy-ish job??
idk. will have faith that God will put me where I need to be. he is in control of it all and I BELIEVE THIS !!! I am just a bit scared that his plan is different from what i  think i want....but this is just my human instinct and i know in my head that there is no reason to be scared cos his plan is always the better one. head knowledge just needs to translate to heart understanding and real trust / faith.
ermmm relationships...???
i started using...cmb...idk why i find this so cringey. i guess about a year ago i couldnt imagine doing this and i kept thinking EW what if ppl i know see me and they think im a desperate saddo who cant find a bf irl and has to resort to an app EW shes so lame and ugly and gross. and i realised that is so stupid no one actually thinks that way and its very backward and dumb and insecure of me to be thinking that. and anyway as i get older i rly dont quite give a shit what ppl think of me (at least i tell myself that....)
i suppose i was also inspired by csm who has been quite actively using apps and meeting ppl and taking real..strides..(LOL) in her dating life. i used to tell myself hey God will provide u with a mans if he wants u to be with a mans. but also God can use an app to do that...and if i dont step out in faith that he will do something and i dont take any action at all, how is God gonna work?? should i sit at home and expect a man to fall into my lap??
for some ppl it has been way easier, e.g. my parents meeting in uni and falling i love. i always wanted that - the organic relationship, the meet-cute, the friends to lovers thing. (i guess i tried that last one before and it didnt work...) but i think theres no point in romanticising relationships anymore. thats a very modern thing to do and its not necessarily a good thing? like who’s to say a relationship that had organic beginnings is intrinsically better than one that started from an app?
anyway i havent had much luck haha i think its hard to find genuine GCBs (or maybe theyre just not attracted to me....) although recently ive been talking to this one guy B for a week or two and its been...ok i guess. hes rly nice and seemed cool at first - we talked about travelling and hamilton and the office, which was a good start. he is thoughtful and kind and doesnt seem to be put off by my very slow replies (he replies so fast......its stressful a bit) and he does the whole good morning text thing (which i frankly find a bit bizarre, we barely know each other..?? and ive never even met him irl.. but its sweet i guess :))
but DUDE his english seems to be not great - at least thats the impression i get from texting him. which is an issue for me. i dont want it to be BUT IT IS...first red flag was when he said some weird thing about not wanting to wear a mask at work (not a literal mask - like he didnt know if he could be his ‘true self’) and the wording was very strange. then he said “the weekends are almost here” ?? the weekend is not a plural though? then he used the wrong tense a few times and his apostrophe usage was wrong (”Gods’ love” - bro there is one God). he also uses way too many commas which irks me.
i mean i get that text is supposed to be an informal medium - come on look at this post, there r hardly any capital letters and plenty of short forms and hardly any apostrophes but u see its CONSISTENT and its obviously cos of laziness / convenience - but i think his problem is a bit different...u can sort of tell if someone doesnt have a 100% strong grasp of english. those r basic grammar mistakes man...i get that i sound petty and stupid and this isnt a huge deal but i feel like im settling by even talking to him cos this is not something i wld normally tolerate but hey maybe im getting desperate with age :(:(:( urgh 
on the other hand maybe i just need to be more generous with ppl and l have an irrationally high standard for english cos i am a lawyer and my friends all speak well / text well?? maybe im just being too nitpicky?? honestly hes very nice  and communicative and straightforward and seems mature and very God-fearing and idk why hes still talking to me cos ive been a bit cold and slow to respond. hes very patient which i dont rly deserve.....i myself have a million flaws that are probably way worse and egregious (ahem PRIDE...ahem ego....ie the source of this dilemma in the first place...) so maybe i should just close one eye abt the bad grammar.
i also realised how fked up i am - confirmed my suspicion that i am naturally attracted to emotionally unavailable ppl / ppl that just seem distant / out of reach (thats my avoidant attachment style right there). i think there was one day he didnt text me at all and omg...i couldnt stop thinking what i did wrong...like did i piss him off by being too cold for too long...did he get scared off cos i said i wanted to do a masters (idk this seemed like an irrational leap but i was being irrational)..then i started being nicer to him and replied more promptly hahaha turns out he was just rly bz at work that day. omg this pattern is real i think i did this with xj also - was eager to speak when he was in japan but after meeting irll i was just over it... (i am drawn to distance like a moth to a flame and i am repelled by availability like....a fire by a fire extinguisher (??)). yucks i rly hate myself sometimes but yknow what at least im self aware and im trying to fix this...kind of.. gonna hash this avoidant thing out with my therapist at the next sesh.
on the topic of xj i got a bit nostalgic and wondered why we stopped speaking (surprise surprise it was my fault, didnt reply then felt it had been left to long to pick it up again...) went back to look at our texts and aw we rly got along so well, i do miss him as a friend and im sorry about how poorly i treated him especially in dec 2018 / jan 2019 sigh.....i was a real bitch....
anyway im just gonna see how things go with B... if he asks me out i prob will go... just to give it a shot. update if / when that happens!
EDIT - he asked me out lol we shall see how it goes. 
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farfarbetterdream · 6 years
Text
another tag game!
I was tagged by: @absentmindeduniverse. I enjoy seeing you on my dash and reglogging (probably too much) from you!
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people. 
damn that’s a lot of statements. and a lot of people to tag...
last
1. drink - water. before that, coffee. 2. phone call - skype call with my parents 3. text message - a friend about her afternoon plans 4. song you listened to - Astronaut by Gregory Alan Isakov 5. time you cried - a week ago
ever
6. dated someone twice? - no. never even dated anyone once. 7. kissed someone and regretted it -  never kissed anyone besides a dare when i was 10 that barely counts, so... 8. been cheated on - again, never been in a relationship so no. 9. lost someone special - romantically, no. family, yes. 10. been depressed - not sure 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - ok yes BUT iblamethecheapalcoholnottheamoutidrank
fave colours
12. forest green 13. a nice warm neutral tan/beige 14. deep blue
in the last year have you…
15. made new friends - yeah! 16. fallen out of love - would have to fall in love first 17. laughed until you cried - all the fucking time 18. found out someone was talking about you - nope 19. met someone who changed you - not really 20. found out who your friends are - yeah i guess? 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - wow this thing is just trying to rub it in my face that i’ve never been kissed, isn’t it :/
general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - pretty sure all of them. or at least used to know irl.
23. do you have any pets -  black standard poodle named Tikva. his name means hope in hebrew, because we got him right before the 2008 election and Obama’s slogan was hope!
24. do you want to change your name - when i was a lot younger i used to consider changing to the normal american pronunciation of hannah instead of the hebrew pronunciation. now i like it.
25. what did you do for your last birthday - it was my 21st so even though i’m abroad and could already drink, I went out and celebrated by going to a few bars and pubs.
26. what time did you wake up today - 4 AM when my noisy flatmate came in >:( then again at 8.
27. what were you doing at midnight last night - zzzzzzzzzzzz
28. what is something you cant wait for - getting to travel around the Scottish Highlands and do a bunch of hiking over spring break!
idk why there’s no 29...
30. what are you listening to right now - not currently listening to any music but in general i’ve been listening to dermot kennedy a lot recently
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - my best friend in preschool was named tom. then we didn’t see each other for six years. then we went to the same middle school and was a dick to me. probably because he wanted to be part of the cool crowd and i was decidedly not cool 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - my flatmate constantly being so fucking loud and waking me up all the time 33. most visited website - my university email 34. hair colour - brown 35. long or short hair - currently just past shoulder length but that’s longer than i usually like it 36. do you have a crush on someone - maybe. i had a crush on a guy last year for a while. haven’t seen him in forever but also haven’t gotten any new crushes. if i saw him again i think i’d probably still have a crush on him tbh. good thing he’s graduating so i’ll probably never see ihm again :/ 37. what do you like about yourself - honestly? most of the time nothing. 38. want any piercings? - i have one lobe piercing and one cartilage piercing in each ear, but I want more. probably won’t get it though since my ears don’t heal very well from them. 39. blood type - O negative. universal donor, woo woo. 40. nicknames - hannahleh and pumpkin by my parents
41. relationship status - unfortunately single
42. zodiac - Aquarius 43. pronouns - she/her 44. fave tv shows - Black Sails, The 100, and Doctor Who. Also Game of Thrones, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, Wynonna Earp, The X-Files, and countless others. 45. tattoos -  no but i kind of want want 46. right or left handed - right handed 47. ever had surgery - i had my wisdom teeth removed, but that’s it. 48. piercings - two on each ear 49. sport - i run and work out for exercise and recreation, but have never done any sports. i enjoy watching basketball occasionally  50. vacation - i like going places with beautiful nature to hike in or lots of historic sites to visit. technically you could say that i’m on an extended vacation right now since i’m studying abroad in scotland. last vacation was to Italy, next one is to the Highlands (unless it decides to snow). 51. trainers - such a weird word. yeah i wear them a lot because i run/work out and also they’re so comfortable to walk around in
more general 
52. eating - does this mean what i’m eating right now??? if so then nothing. at tortellini, spinach, chicken, and a sweet potato about 2 hours ago. about to go eat some chocolate fudge ice cream.
53. drinking - water. i constantly sip water.
54. i’m about to watch - nothing. i’m about to go eat dessert, take a shower, and then do homework.
55. waiting for - the results of the two essays i’ve turned in so far this semester, spring break, and The 100 season 5 premier
56. want - fresh baked cake or cookies, to see my family and my dog, warm weather, to fall in love, to figure out what i want to do with my life 57. get married - definitely, but not anytime in the near future.
58. career - currently a student, don’t really know what i want my career to be in. probably something related to sustainability, environmental education, climate change, cultural heritage protection, or museums. something that helps the world.
which is better
59. hugs or kisses - hugs 60. lips or eyes - i’m assuming all of these are about what we prefer/care more about in a romantic partner. eyes maybe? 61. shorter or taller - kinda have a thing for really tall boys. 62. older or younger - definitely older. 63. nice arms or stomach - holy fuck nice arms do something to me. 64. hookup or relationship - relationship. zero interest in hookups.  65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant. that’s my middle name. jk it’s leah. but i would actually say that being hesitant is one of my worst character traits.
have you ever
66. kissed a stranger - we’ve already established here that i have kissed no one. 67. drank hard liquor - i tried rum once when i was like 12 because we found it in a cabinet in our house and i wanted to be like a pirate. pretty sure my dad laughed at me when i choked on it. also done shots of hard liquor. 68. lost glasses - occasionally but only for very brief periods of time. sometimes i’ll take them off at home and forget where i left them in the house. 69. turned someone down - yes 70. sex on first date - no 71. broken someones heart - no but then again i’m usually clueless/oblivious so idk. maybe disappointed people briefly but not broken their heart. 72. had your heart broken - no  73. been arrested - naw 74. cried when someone died -yeah 75. fallen for a friend - i got a crush on a guy i was friends with freshman year of high school. 
do you believe in
76. yourself - rarely 77. miracles - no 78. love at first sight - i don’t think so. attraction, yes. love, no. 79. santa claus - jewish, so no. 80. kiss on a first date - please someone take me on a first date and kiss me. 81. angels - no
other
82. best friend’s name - i’m don’t really think i have a best friend. i have a number of close friends but i’m not good at opening up to people the way i think best friend connotes. but probably my oldest closest friend has the same name as me. 83. eye colour - green 84. fave movie - The Princess Bride even though I always get annoyed by how little Buttercup does. Crossing Delancey is my favorite rom com because it’s hilarious and sweet and super jewish. Also Romancing the Stone because it’s an adventure rom com. The Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley is gorgeous. Also always a sucker for the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and the Lord of the Rings movies. 85. fave actor - Tom Hanks because he’s an amazing actor, I’ve liked him in everything I’ve seen him in, and he’s just a precious human being.
tagging a combination of people i know irl and mutuals that I’ve mostly never talked to because i’m super awkward, you can do this if you want, or feel free to ignore it: @the-sadpotato, @ryostrenchcoat, @pinevillagegirl, @ineedpeetalikehekneadsbread, @hufflepuffhermione, @dweebshark, @kleinundasinine, @im-wallpapering-my-locker, @captain-fflewddurfflam, @thedarrparrot, @theavathedork, @geese-juggler, @addyleeliu, @bellarkeaddict, @thren0dy, @veganmewsings, @mistamie
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anxiety-trademark · 3 years
Text
The week in review:
Raw 10/26 NXT 10/28 NXT UK 10/29 Smackdown 10/30
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Raw:
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Wonder what 19/11 means.
...Arsenic??... What in the-- WHY IS SHE SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS.
Boy y’all really nailed home how agonizing his suffering was before he died. My head hurts, this show is demented.
My god there are legitimately 2 of these psychopaths now.
wwe production should give Alexa’s voice a reverb effect whenever she says “let him in”
Girl is actually laughing hysterically while Bray ruthlessly murders Rambling Rabbit. Goodbye.
This act works so much better as a duo, Alexa was right in requesting to work with Bray.
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kekekek Shayna makes a list of women she wants on her Survivor Series team; Nia snags the list and sees she’s not on it. Whose idea was this tag team? Need to know who I’m sending a fruit basket to.
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Appreciate Mandy clarifying that Otis and her are still close, but I don’t understand why wwe separated them.
What is with everyone wearing black??
Lmfao this man really tried giving his rose to Shayna SIR PLZ. He had a better chance giving it to Sonya lesbireal.
Dana actually having a decent speaking segment. Half point.
“I feel like this is a joke. Is this like punk’d? Are we-- are we getting punk’d?” Nia came to entertain tonight.
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Why can’t wwe just implement GMs again? Love Adam Pearce but he’s literally just playing the role of GM. Just keep them in the background with the mere purpose of cohesion. Good example: Paige. Bad example: Corbin.
This actually makes sense. You have the tag champs automatically being added, cuz duh, and the tag team who are undefeated since forming and moving to Raw. So have the 5th team member fight for the spot. I don’t hate that at all. At least there’s logic being applied.
I will never not hate Peyton’s theme. Yikes.
WHAT THE FUCK IS NIKKI CROSS’ NEW THEME LMFAO why are we throwing some bland, midwest country rock track with such a slow tempo at her??!? oof rip. Sucks for Nikki that Alexa wanted something more for her career but one could not possibly blame her, so.
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ahahahaha I just noticed Nia took Byron’s seat. She’s so fucking funny.
Look if y’all are gonna do the move where someone lifts you over the top rope to set you on the apron, FUCKING JUMP FOR THEM. They’re not supposed to dead lift you.
Nice kick to Nikki by Lana; sloppy vault over the top rope. It’s kay, she isn’t even the worst one in this match lesbihonest.
Lacey gets Nikki in position for a suplex off the top rope, and Peyton - as quick as can be - jumps in to throw Lacey in a German suplex. That was smooth with very minimal set up. Points.
So Lana steals the win by pinning Nikki and the camera pans to all 4 team members looking absolutely shook. I am dying.
Interesting to see them focus on Peyton’s disappointment.
aaaaand rip Lana for the 6th time.
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Such a jarring remix of Alexa’s song.
I know y’all are super weird and choose to sexualize/fetishize everything that you don’t understand, but I appreciate Alexa’s new persona. It’s like Firefly Funhouse characters meets Disney themed characters (which is core to Alexa) meets Harley Quinn. It’s a fitting cosplay with fitting demeanors. So if y’all could quit talking about ageplay like a bunch of weirdos, that’d be great.
Alexa and I are the same age and tbh I’m kind of shook on her behalf to see her share these segments and storylines with Randy Orton. Like I was a kid watching his feud with triple h. We were mere preadolescent kids lol. Good for her.
I like that she’s immune to Fiend’s name now that she’s fully embraced him become brainwashed.
Omg she’s just sitting on the turnbuckle laughing at them.
So Fiend is just a looming threat to Orton rn? Just letting Orton know that eventually he’ll have to answer for the fire he started all those years ago? I wasn’t here for Bray’s run back then so I’m kind of trying to piece this all together. Anyway fine segment. I don’t much care about Drew vs Orton but I appreciate Orton selling the intensity of the Fiend. He’s a good worker.
Highlight: Completely split between Nia being hilarious & Alexa being creepy as hell
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NXT:
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Well at least they’re keeping Ember backstage for her promos. That’s an improvement.
True, Dakota as a babyface was awful. Not sorry. Her character consisted of “scared” and “sad”... That’s it.
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Big fan of the set for nxt tonight.
It’s so rare to see someone handle Rhea, what a nice dynamic.
These 2 are best friends irl, aren’t they? Enjoyable to watch them go punch for punch back and forth. If nothing else, they’re definitely selling that they’re pretty evenly built.
True though, Rhea does have her athleticism going for her. Rhea’s kicks are a beautiful thing to see. Soccer player ftw.
Really like this match. It’s cool to see the range of different matches Rhea can have. It’s not often you see her in an underdog type of role, and you wouldn’t think she could thrive as one, but it works for her just the same as being a dominant powerhouse. Shouldn’t be surprised though, her vs Charlotte at wm was a banger, and Charlotte was definitely the dominant force in that match.
Commentators said Rhea’s inverted cloverleaf has tapped out “many” superstars in nxt, and I just wanna know who? Cuz I have zero recollection of such.
Good showing for Raquel. Gave zero shits about her prior to this. She’s always just been the Diesel to Dakota’s Shawn Michaels.
GREAT counter by Rhea from the one armed powerbomb into nearly a headscissors takedown.
This match is very well paced.
Oh yes, that’s the type of match that easily could’ve gone longer and left me wanting more, which is a hell of a compliment. I underestimated how good this would be.
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Wow they’re having Poppy rob us of Io’s theme song? For shame.
So how does the wheel actually work? Do they really not get a chance to plan out their stip matches? That’s weird. I love it, but it’s weird. Is it rigged? It’s gotta be rigged, right?
Love the black and orange themed ladders.
lmao Candice’s reaction to the bag of body parts. Fantastic.
Did Candice hit Io in the face with a laptop?? Honestly, points.
Lol chalk outlines on the tables. The theme is great.
Oh man, a moonsault straight onto chairs. rip Io’s midsection.
Wicked suplex onto the sitting chair, oof. Looked like Io clipped that.
Meteora into a steel ladder, which then fell on Io. She taking a beating lol.
Commentators mentioning Johnny counter: 3
Kinda cool spot twisting Candice’s ankle in a chair. Of course, it’s not like Candice sold the damaged ankle anyway, so.
Swinging neckbreaker through the tables - a spot that would’ve been great if the commentators had actually sold it and there was a real crowd.
idk who the hell is helping Candice, but I think it’s just fantastic that Shotzi came in to stop them.
“LeRae can’t reach,” as if this match wouldn’t have been over if she would’ve just climbed up one single ring.
Welp Candice is dead now. Fell off the top of the ladder through another ladder. Nasty landing. rip. 
Brutal match, but it still wasn’t better than their first match. At least Candice did work and this wasn’t boring unlike their last takeover match. Points for the damage they caused to their bodies, eesh.
Highlight: Rhea vs Raquel
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NXT UK:
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Oh nice UK added some monitors. Good for them, even if the stream quality is kinda poor.
I like this match up. Dani Luna is an athletic powerhouse, and Valkyrie is an athletic technician. This is more the type of quality match that I’d expect on the MR - minus the storytelling/performance aspect, but that’s okay.
Really appreciate Luna’s strength for how small she seems.
Valkyrie is fun to watch. Her arm drag takedowns and counters are entertaining.
Damn Valkyrie can do a springboard cross body and a pele kick as well? What an intriguing skillset she has.
Holy shit that snap German suplex by Dani was effortlessly CLEAN.
I’m not big on Dani’s look tbh. I feel like she’d be more of a standout if her hair was a different color. I don’t think blue works for her, personally.
An interesting finisher by Valkyrie... I don’t hate it. I’m all for the result, though. Good show of respect between both competitors. Wouldn’t mind watching them again in the future.
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Current day has KLR still as champion (#foreverchampion) but I’m guessing they’re really gonna have Piper be the one to inevitably end it. Should be Valkyrie as far as I’m concerned. Even if she’s trash on the mic - not saying she is cuz I have no idea - she’s super entertaining to watch.
Highlight: Dani Luna vs Valkyrie
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Smackdown:
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New year, same old Nattie trying to be the Survivor Series captain.
Billie Kay is entertaining but wbk.
Bianca, ma’am, you JUST started going here. Calm down.
“Bianca nobody really cares, or knows, what EST means, it’s totally irrelevant. I’m the boat.” lmao I genuinely love Nattie, not sorry.
SHE CLAPPED AT HER goodbye. Give me a Bianca vs Nattie match, entertain me plz.
Ah a triple threat? That’s fine I suppose, what the hell.
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Why does wwe keep depriving me of Bianca’s entrance? I hate this company.
Billie Kay: *jumps in the ring to catch Bianca in a random pinfall; fails; proceeds to leave the ring once more*
Billie Kay really is a special level of awful, but at least she has character work going for her.
Good cover by Bianca to set up the basement dropkick by Nattie to break up the pin.
Boy Bianca sure did take her time breaking up that sharpshooter. You got both Nattie and Billie Kay screaming and she’s in lala land lmao.
I will genuinely cry if they ever change Bianca’s music, I stg. Good for her btw. Appropriate result.
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What’s the purpose of the polaroid camera?
Soo did they basically give Carmella the layout of Sasha’s gimmick while turning Sasha babyface? Is that what’s going on? What rules is Carmella making? What shots is she calling? Why does this girl have champagne? You know who would rock the “fuck y’all I’m rich, look at my Gucci and diamonds” gimmick? The Ice Queen, Charlotte Flair.
What an adorably tiny cross.
Carmella you’re not really known for winning, but alright.
Hate this music btw.
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Lol this fucking chair. Okay.
“Long time rivalry renewed” didn’t Asuka and Sasha have a minor feud a mere 5 months ago? That lasted one month?? Is that considered long time now???
Sasha’s makeup is off key ngl. I hate that outfit as well.
Yes, yes she was your best friend and that was really sad, but you’re not saying anything different than you have before. And you’re STILL not likeable. But hey, I’m happy for you all the same, now be as entertaining as Bayley plz.
“The whole world knows that you can win a championship, but even you know that you can’t hang onto one. Unlike me.” pppffffttttt she’s not wrong.
Who do I gotta pay to permanently separate you 2? hiac was great, let’s end the debacle now plz.
“You made me sign that hiac contract under duress,” THANK YOU BAYLEY see someone knows their legal jargon. 
Peep that gnarly bruise on Bayley’s arm. Whew.
She’s so annoying lmao.
“Backstabbing bitches never win,” hi, Sasha? Longest reigning Raw women’s champion, first ever wm main eventer, first ever women’s dual world champion, face of the company, cover of espn and 2k20 Becky Lynch just called; said that is absolutely not true.
Highlight: Bianca, Billie Kay & Natalya backstage segment
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*Raw shined the brightest this week, but I have to shout out NXT as well for their 2 matches, particularly Rhea vs Raquel.
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themisfitthrone · 6 years
Text
i was tagged in 3 tag games in the last day or so and instead of making 3 separate posts in which i tag much of the same people, i decided to consolidate. i love you all who tagged me.
uh....idk if i have anyone to tag? you guys kind of covered everyone i WOULD tag. i guess @flowerparrish, @colormekorrasami, @jordanetalaredead, @megayest, @twin-ace, @lakesandquarries, @peachy-shrimp, and @hotdamnlookatthispan.... if any of these look interesting, you should totally do them!
okay everything under the cuuuuut
tag game number one: tagged by the sweetest human, @carrie-frances
what’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum? this is a tough one? currently i’ve been singing You by Keaton Henson a lot and also Ophelia by The Lumineers. Let Her Go by Passenger is another goodie for singing lately. Oh and Lost Boy!!!! by Ruth B.
what’s your favourite flower/tree/plant? I love nature wow. My favorite tree is definitely a Weeping Cherry Tree or Willow. My favorite flowers are sunflowers and roses! Plants in general, I just really love cacti? It’s a product of having family I adore in Arizona haha
what do you always doodle? hm... cats, mostly
how do you take your tea/coffee? With plenty of splenda and some milk
favourite candle scent? Vanilla, mostly. just sweet things
what perfume do you wear? body sprays from bath and bodyworks, usually vanilla or peach
what’s your go-to dance move when you’re alone? i have zero clue haha
favourite quote? i don’t know off of the top of my head! perhaps the one i have tattooed, from star wars. “luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.”
favourite self care routine? putting on good smelling lotions. reading a book. snuggling oliver. calling someone i love.
fuzzy socks or house slippers? both! but mostly fuzzy socks
what colour are your eyes? just plain ole brown
what’s your favourite eye colour on others? idk? i think blue or green but i adore brown eyes on everyone
favourite season? why? autumn, i like the colors and the clothes and the smells
cheek, neck or nose kisses? cheek! but the real MVP are forehead ones
what does your happy place look like? the beach but without all the people. or a quiet forest with light filtering in
favourite breed of dog? i’ve always loved boxers the most, and cavaliers
do you ever want to be married? if so, what colours would you pick for your wedding theme? yes, i think i do? i don’t know what colors, it’s always changing. i think it depends on the person i’m with because their input would matter. i’d want the colors to be whatever colors they think of when they see me and vice versa
cursive or print? it’s a solid mix but mostly print
favourite weather? raining and warm, but not thundering
tag game number two: tagged by the amazing @dancyon
— What was your last…
1. Drink: iced tea
2. Phone call: my aunt calling with some hard news
3. Text message: my aunt with an update
4. Song you listened to: love me by the 1975
5. Time you cried: yesterday and i’m gonna cry later today @ love, simon
6. Dated someone twice: yeah
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: for sure
8. Been cheated on: by two different people, apparently im easy to cheat on
9. Lost someone special: sadly, i’ve lost a few
10. Been depressed: lmao got that good good depression goblin
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: god yeah whoops sorry friends
— Fave colours
12. purple (any shade really)
13. blue (any shade really)
14. soft yellow
— in the last year have you…
15. Made new friends: ahhhh!!!! yes i have ♥
16. Fallen out of love: hhhhhhhhhh
17. Laughed until you cried: probably
18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh yeah
19. Met someone who changed you: yeah, in more ways than one
20. Found out who your friends are: idk???? kinda yeah
21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: uh i think i have my ex still
— General
22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: majority
23. Do you have any pets: my boy @ollycat and then my dogs and cats @ my parents house
24. Do you want to change your name: i actually did but now i’m back to my birthname bc being NB is one big ???? of what do i want 
25. What did you do for your last birthday: oh shit well w my friends i got drunk on rum, dressed up like a pirate, and played d&d. and then fam was the usual cheesecake factory adventure
26. What time did you wake up today: uh around 8 something officially?
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i fell asleep before midnight? if not i was watching Critical Role
28. What is something you can’t wait for: my next tattoo!!
30. What are you listening to right now: just the sounds of my grandparents house
31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I have an ex named Tom and a Grandpa named Tom
32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: just like....everything about this breakup and stuff i guess
33. Most visited website: god uh...tumblr and twitter????
34. Hair colour: naturally a dark brown with some reddish in it. it’s currently died as close as possible to that
35. Long or short hair: medium?
36. Do you have a crush on someone: no currently i’m avoiding all romance like the fucking PLAGUE
37. What do you like about yourself: i’m pretty tenacious
38. Want any piercings: nah, i’m more the tattoo type
39. Blood type: ..............why
40. Nicknames: bird, birb, kbird, kbirb, broseidon
41. Relationship status: single
42. Sign: aries
43. Pronouns: they/them
44. Fave tv show: on air right now it’s b99 and the good place. in general, buffy and gilmore girls
45. Tattoos: i currently have 6 and i want sooooo many more
46. Right or left handed: left!!!!
47: Ever had surgery: tonsils and stomach yeah
48. Piercings: none
49. Sport: none currently but football (soccer) will always have my heart
50. Vacation: currently in arizona!! i’ve been all over though, i miss mexico a lot
51. Trainers:  what does this....mean....like.....shoes???????
— More general
52. Eating: currently nothing? 
53. Drinking: iced tea currently
54. I’m about to watch: LOVE, SIMON AGAIN BITCH!!!!!!!
55. Waiting for: life to feel right
56. Want: a nap, like always
57. Get married: okay your answer of “if i get past my commitment issues and find someone that loves me, sure” was fucking perfect
58. Career: teacher!
— Which is better
59. Hugs or kisses: hugs
60. Lips or eyes: eyes
61. Shorter or taller: taller
62. Older or younger: older
63. Nice arms or stomach: arms
64. Hookup or relationships: relationship
65. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant
— Have you ever
66. Kissed a stranger: nope
67. Drank hard liquor: hell yeah
68.Turned someone down: in high school yeah. and like once in college
69. Sex on first date: ........im an ace baby
70: Broken someone’s heart: supposedly
71. Had your heart broken: mhmmmm
72. Been arrested: nah, just brought home by cops
73. Cried when someone died: yeah, i cry at everything but especially death
74. Fallen for a friend: ..........only friends tbh
— Do you believe in
75. Yourself: trying to? cullen says my heart’s vibranium
76. Miracles: some days i do
77. Love at first sight: probably not, i used to though
78. Santa Claus: not anymore
79. Angels: i’d like to
— Misc
80. Eye colour: brown!
81. Best friends name: i mean..... jenny, ellie, michelle, and cullen? plus like max and jor, of course
82. Favourite movie: i guess the princess bride is the Most Favorite of All
83. Favourite actor: my MAIN MAN, hugh jackman
84. Favourite cartoon: danny phantom right now
85. Favourite teacher’s name: in HS it was mrs haley and in college it was dr trainor....grad school so far it’s been jen lynady
final tag game: tagged by the cutest, @blurredmxnds
bold the statements that are true
APPEARANCE:
I am 5'7" or taller
I wear glasses
I have at least one tattoo
I have at least one piercing
I have blonde hair
I have brown eyes
I have short hair
My abs are at least somewhat defined
I have or have had braces
PERSONALITY:
I love meeting new people
People tell me that I’m funny
Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me
I enjoy physical challenges
I enjoy mental challenges
I’m playfully rude with people I know well
I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it
There is something I would change about my personality
ABILITY:
I can sing well
I can play an instrument
I can do over 30 pushups without stopping
I’m a fast runner
I can draw well
I have a good memory (lmao about some things???)
I’m good at doing math in my head
I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute
I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling
I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch
I know how to throw a proper punch
HOBBIES:
I enjoy playing sports
I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else
I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else 
I have learned a new song in the past week
I work out at least once a week
I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months
I have drawn something in the past month
I enjoy writing
I do or have done martial arts
EXPERIENCES:
I have had my first kiss
I have had alcohol
I have scored the winning goal in a sports game
I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting
I have been at an overnight event
I have been in a taxi
I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year
I have beaten a video game in one day
I have visited another country
I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts
RELATIONSHIPS:
I have a crush on a celebrity
I have a crush on someone I know
I have been in at least 3 relationships
I have never been in a relationship
I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them
I get crushes easily
I have had a crush on someone for over a year
I have been in a relationship for at least a year (on and off)
I have had feelings for a friend
MY LIFE:
I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”
I live close to my school
My parents are still together
I have at least one sibling
I live in the United States
There is snow right now where I live
I have hung out with a friend in the past month
I have at least 15 CDs (somewhere in my things)
I share my room with someone
RANDOM SHIT:
I have breakdanced
I know a person named Jamie
I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce
I have dyed my hair
I’m listening to one song on repeat right now (i JUST ended my thing w this)
I have punched someone in the past week
I know someone who has gone to jail
I have broken a bone (just a toe)
I have eaten a waffle today
I know what I want to do with my life
I speak at least 2 languages
I have made a new friend in the past year
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