#if you did you would have done something by now. you would have checked in on my mental physical whatever state within the past 10.5 months | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

buckybarnesb-tch · 2 days

Note

Heyy hiii I love your blog🤍 If you're still taking requests... Could you write an Aemond Targaryen who is obsessed with his half-sister or aunt?

As You Wish Sister -Aemond T.

(Fuck yes I can!

For this story the ages are a little off which frustrates me but I did that to make sure that Y/n wouldn’t be considered ‘too old’ to marry. If however, the person who made this request wants something with an older OFC, like a cougar-y kind of story with him obsessed and willing to do anything to have her then let me know and I will try my hand at that for you)

Y/n had been born first just before her mother Aemma had died giving birth her twin brother, who sadly died just a few hours later, leaving Y/n alone.

Rhaenyra took very good care of her, as much as she could as her younger sister was just a babe and now had no mother and no father as Viserys had all but checked out…especially after marrying Alicent and having more children.

Y/n was only just under 1 year older than Aegon as Alicent had gotten pregnant almost immediately after the wedding however as Rhaenyra was having her own children she took care of her sister less and less, leaving the girl on her own a lot of the time. Alicent had taken a liking to the young girl and they were quite close, which is what led to Y/n and Aemond’s relationship in the first place. Aemond loved Y/n from the moment he was born. When he was with her he was always content and happy, but if she left him alone he would cry and scream for her until Alicent could no longer take it and sent for her once again. That lasted until the boy was about 3 and she was 6 and from then on he was basically attached to her skirts.

Neither of the children had a dragon to their name and spent their time dreaming of flying across the 7 kingdoms together. Aemond had always promised to take his half sister with him when he mounted a dragon one day, and though Y/n thought it a nice dream, Aemond was determined to make it come true. He swore to her that one day he would be strong and that he would protect her, no one would ever bully them again. Y/n did not know just how seriously her younger brother took that vow.

He was 9 years old when Rhaenyra moved to Dragonstone and snatched his happiness away as she took their 12 year old sister with her and it was at that moment that Aemond realized how in love with his sister he really was. She would be his, no matter what he had to do to ensure it.

When they met again on Driftmark it was like no time had passed, they stayed by each others side while everyone mourned, but Aemond wasn’t sad, he was determined. With the death of Laena there was now an unclaimed dragon, the largest one alive and he was going to claim her or die trying. To say Y/n was upset that he risked his life to mount Vhagar would be an understatement however he had done it and the pride and happiness on his face wiped away her anger…for about 10 minutes before watching her nephew slice her brothers eye from his head. She held close to his side for as long as she was allowed, holding his hand as the maester stitched him up painfully.

‘I do not wish to frighten you with my scarred face sister, you shouldn’t have to see this.’ He told her later that night as she sat beside his bed to watch over him, the milk of the poppy he had taking quick effect as his good eye began to close against his wishes.

‘You could never scare me brother, you are as handsome as ever and anyone who says otherwise is blind. I will never fear you, no matter what. I love you too dearly.’ She swore, curling up into her chair and drifting off by his side in case he needed anything during the night.

Aemond’s hand held tight to hers all night long, never letting go as if terrified, even in his sleep, that she would disappear.

Aemond was comforted by her words and it is the only thing that got him through the next years. That and the fact that he had “convinced” his sickly father to betroth Y/n to him.

Aemond was told by the men he paid to keep watch over his Princess on Dragonstone that Rhaenyra had been trying to betroth her to Cregan Stark of Winterfell. The Wolf in the North was apparently quite taken with his Princess and Aemond couldn’t blame him, but he would kill him if the man went anywhere near his sister and he made that perfectly clear to his mother and Grandsire. Aemond had vowed that if they didn’t betroth him to Y/n immediately that he would take Vhagar and have her burn Winterfell and every Stark in existence to the ground. He would melt all of the snow in the North if he had to to make his point. Both Alicent and Otto knew that her son was serious and would do exactly as he promised, they also knew that no one could stop Vhagar if Aemond decided to put his threat into action and so they had the King order the marriage.

However other than Rhaenyra acknowledging the order from the King, he heard no word from his betrothed until he was 18 and it was ordered that she return to Kings Landing to be with her soon to be husband. Aemond had kept eyes on her since the day she had been forced to leave him, men that worked for Rhaenyra were secretly under his command, 2 of which became Y/n’s personal guards and wrote the Prince everything about her so that Aemond didn’t miss a thing. He knows all of her interests, what she loves to do everyday, her daily schedule, the foods she likes and more importantly doesn’t like, and he also had them ensure that no man got close to his future wife in anyway. He knew that Jace had an interest in his aunt, the guard reporting to him that the boy had been grounded to his chambers on more than one occasion for watching her bathe or trying to sneak into her rooms in the night and it both enraged and delighted Aemond that Jace wanted his sister but also that he would have to see her happy with the person that Jace hates most. Aemond would ensure that he could rub it in his nephews face that the babes that Y/n would bare would never be anyone’s but his.

Over the years since she had been gone her brother had changed, not just at her having been missing from his side but especially after Aegons actions in taking him to the silk streets on his 13th nameday. Aemond felt disgusting but he was determined to be a better husband than his elder brother was, after all, Y/n was his. His sister, his wife, his everything and he would ensure her happiness. He would make her his and fill her with as many Targaryen babies as possible, Aemond couldn’t wait to see her swollen with his child at his side and in his bed, his elder sister was just too perfect not to be full of his children for the rest of her days.

2 days after the letter was sent to Rhaenyra he was greeted by the sound of huge wings and angry dragon roars as the large black dragon descended on the Red Keep, a dragon that everyone recognized instantly which prompted them scattering like mice. Aemond had heard that his sister had mounted the cannibalistic dragon but to actually see the creature was incredible. He found it funny that his sister, who was a loner with a tendency to be aggressive ended up with the aggressive loner dragon who would have burned anyone else to dust…he must feel how similar they are, honestly it was a fairly perfect fit if you asked him. Though he could have done without the teeth bore in his face from this scarred beast.

He got as close as he dared, watching as a beautiful women slid down the dragons neck to her feet, the dragon nuzzling her and nearly knocking her from her feet (though the gesture was gentle for such a giant dragon who had to be just slightly bigger than Caraxes) before he took to the skies again and left her to look around the courtyard.

She was a vision, more than Aemond could have imagined after all these years without her and as she turned to see him for the first time, the smile that lit up her face gave him butterflies. ‘Aemond? Wow! Look how you’ve grown, you are certainly not that little boy I remember anymore, you are a man grown! Look at this handsome face!’ Aemond took her hand and pressed his lips to her knuckles in greeting, unable to look away from her perfect purple eyes.

‘You are a vision, more beautiful than I could have imagined…and I have imagined for years.’ Her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink as she blushed and he held his arm out for her to take. ‘Come, I will show you to your chambers and you can freshen up, I know you must want out of your riding clothes-‘

‘Actually…I had hoped we could go riding together like we always promised we would. My sister would not let me come to Kings Landing before now but you did swear to take me on Vhagar when I returned.’ She reminded him as he guided her through the halls of the castle.

‘I could never forget my promise to you, however we will not be permitted to disappear together the night before our wedding, it would be improper after all.’ He teased making her roll her eyes with a smile.

‘Right because riding a 10 ton scaly lizard into the night is definitely a romantic evening.’ She paused after saying that before speaking again. ‘Actually, never mind, for a Targaryen that has to be the most romantic night possible. We’ll save it for tomorrow night.’

‘As you wish sister. Here is your chamber for the night, tomorrow night your things will be moved into one of our own. You change and get comfortable, I will return in a half an hour and we can take a walk in the gardens, how does that sound?’

‘That sounds lovely brother. I look forward to it.’ Aemond leaned down and pressed his lips to her hand like the gentleman he was, watching once again as her face grew pink and he loved her sweet blush, vowing to make it happen as often as possible.

The wedding that next evening was a huge affair. Everyone was present, members of every house in attendance for the event, and even all of the peasants celebrated as they left the Sept, throwing flowers and cheering their congratulations as they had all loved Y/n since the moment she was presented to the world as a baby (often ordering the gold cloaks to feed the poor, especially the children in need). Rhaenyra and Daemon had shown up with the children late, clearly hating being there for a marriage they didn’t want and Aemond couldn’t help but silently gloat to Jace who glared at him all through dinner. As they locked eyes Aemond could not resist giving in to his petty attitude, leaning down and touching his lips to his wife’s and enjoying the feel of her lips pressing against his in return as she clearly enjoyed the show of affection. His nephew glared harder at him before eventually taking Helaena’s hand and bringing her to dance as if trying to anger the One-Eyed Prince but nothing could do that right now, not now that Aemond has everything he’s ever wanted.

‘Would you like to retire now my beautiful wife? I want to make this marriage official before one of the dozens of men here that are jealously staring, attempts to steal you away from me.’

‘As if anyone else could take my attention away from you.’ At that moment there was suddenly the sound of several women screaming and they both turned to see that right in front of the Kings table Jace was locked in a physical fight with a man on the dance floor. Aemond turned his wife’s body away and pulled her to his chest to shield her, not wanting her innocent eyes to see such violence. Even if he enjoyed watching Jace get hurt he knew that his wife would never be the same if she was forced to potentially witness him die and he loved her innocence too much to let that be ruined. The guards pulled the man out of the hall and most likely to the Black Cells after Daemon had saved Jace from being butchered, following along with a rage filled Rhaenyra to question the man. Y/n pulled away from her husband and moved to the floor, inspecting her nephews face and Aemond nearly growled as Jace leaned into the affection. ‘Are you alright nephew?!’

‘Yes, of course, I am fine. I had it under con-‘

‘Thank goodness Daemon was here! You could have been killed! What were you thinking?!’ She demanded and Aemond watched on as Jace’s face fell once again. ‘You are my sweet nephew, not a soldier or a brawler in the streets!’

‘I don-I’m-Uh…‘

‘She is right nephew, we could never forgive ourselves if you had been hurt attending our wedding…perhaps it is time for you to retire for the evening. Too much wine makes the mind do stupid things.’ Y/n nodded along with Aemond but Jace just glared at him.

‘This has nothing to do with you Uncle! Keep your thoughts to yourself! I don’t need-‘

‘Jacaerys! How Dare You?! Have care how you speak to your own family, Aemond is simply showing his concern for your well being! If this is your current state then he is correct, you should retire. I’m sure Luke will help you to your bed, won’t you sweet boy?’ Luke nodded his head, moving to take his elder brothers arm.

‘No! I don’t need to-‘

‘We should be retiring as well anyway. I must ensure my new wife is taken care of…’ Y/n blushed at her brothers words, leaning into his body as his hands found her waist comfortingly.

‘You are right brother, I think I have had enough partying for one day. We have a family dinner tomorrow evening anyway, we can celebrate more then.’ Suddenly Aegon, who had been drunkenly enjoying this whole situation, was grinning in excitement and stepping up to the newly weds, hand on his younger brothers shoulder.

‘Yes brother, time to retire. The bedding ceremony must be seen to before the end of the evening! I shall get our Grandsire and elder sister to-‘

‘No!’ Aemond snapped, everyone that was listening jumping in fright at the rage in his voice. He had felt his wife’s body tense as she pulled him closer by his jacket that she was now clinging to for dear life. ‘There will be no bedding ceremony, I will have neither my sister nor my wife gawked at in her most vulnerable state as if she is some cheap whore on the street of silk! Y/n is my wife now, and no one else will ever see her in such a way ever again. I assure you brother, I can handle consummating my marriage just fine without your wandering eyes and words of encouragement.’ Aemond looked back down at his bride and took her face into his hands, wiping away the tears that escaped in her moment of panic, no one having mentioned a bedding ceremony and Aemond himself having assured her that it would not be happening.

‘My young Prince, it is tradition to have a maester and at least 3 members of the family present to ensure the wedding is consummated. Your brother, myself, Rhaenyra and Daemon are going to-‘

‘No Grandsire, you are not-because if you try to enter our marital chambers tonight, or really any night from this moment forward for any reason under the sun, I will break your spine and be feeding you to either Vhagar or the Cannibal in the morning. I will let my wife decide which she would prefer to make a meal out of your body as it is her you are offending. I am uncomfortable with how determined you are to watch me make love to my wife, and I am telling you that it will not happen.’

‘Aemond! You cannot speak to your Grandsire this way, you must-‘ Aemond cut his mother off quickly, startling her as he had never spoken to her like this before.

‘Do not make the mistake of believing my words to be exaggeration mother, they are not. Anyone who steps foot into our marital chambers this night or any moment from this one onward will find themselves being fed to a dragon of my wife’s choosing. She is my wife! And it is my job to care for her as such! I will not have her humiliated or upset as she gives herself to me for the first time…or any time. That is the end of the discussion, however you may wait in the hall and once we are done I will deliver you the sheets from our bed as your proof. That will have to suffice because it is all that you are getting.’ He looked back down at Y/n who had tears in her eyes once again but this time they were not fearful or embarrassed, but grateful and full of love. ‘Come my wife, it is time that I make this marriage official and fill you with my son. I must give my wife all of the lovely Targaryen babies that her heart desires.’

Aemond bent down slightly before lifting Y/n into his arms like a babe, whisking her away and out of the party. ‘Thank you Aemond…I know I should just accept it but I-‘

‘My wife will never be seen by anyone but me in any state of undress from this moment on, and should anyone sneak a peak at you I will deliver you their heart and feed the remains to Vhagar. Don’t you ever apologize for being uncomfortable, it is my job as your husband to see to your safety and I take my job very seriously.’ He assured her, kissing her head as they reached their new marital chambers where all of their things had been moved to. As Aemond carried his sister through the door he kicked it shut behind himself and locked it with both locks before using the thick wood plank and barring the door so no one could get in without more work than it was worth.

‘Will you assist me with the dress, husband?’ She teased making Aemond smirk, eyes darkening at the thought of finally undressing the prize he has worked and waited for, for so long.

‘You need not even ask, my love. Come here.’ He quickly unlaced the back of her dress, allowing it to fall to the ground and leave her in her small clothes which she removed before crawling into the bed and looking back up at him nervously. ‘Relax my love, you will love every second of this, I promise you.’ He swore and she took a breath, nodding, though her eyes grew wide again as he removed his trousers and revealed himself to her for the first time, now naked as he crawled onto the bed, leaning down to kiss her, sucking his way down her neck and chest.

‘A-Aemond? What are you-‘

‘Shh…just relax. I’m going to take care of you Princess, just trust me.’ He lifted her leg up by the back of the knee and leaned in, pressing his mouth over her slit before trailing his tongue up between her pussy lips and brushing against her clit, causing her hips to jump against her will.

‘I’m s-sorry-‘

‘Don’t apologize again, just enjoy it.’ Aemond wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking on the little bundle of nerves, brushing his tongue against it repeatedly which seemed to shut her up quickly, the only sound remaining was her never ending moans. He pressed a finger into her tight hole followed by a second one which earned him a soft mewling noise that he couldn’t help thinking was adorable as he began pumping his fingers in and out of her, stretching her as gently as he could to prepare her for him.

‘Oh Fuck! Aemond!’ She seemed to be hanging right on the edge in that moment until he curled his fingers up and just as he did she cried out at a whole new octave and her pussy squeezed his fingers in a vice grip, her body shaking while she panted as if she had run a long distance and he couldn’t help but find her flushed face absolutely beautiful.

‘You are so gorgeous…’ he crawled up over her and touched his lips to hers while spreading her legs. They wrapped around his waist before he pressed his cock against her hole and instantly felt as if he had died and gone to Heaven. 9 years he had waited after realizing how in love with Y/n he truly was, 9 years dreaming of this moment and wanting to make it just as special for her as it was for him just knowing how good his sister would make him feel, and he was right. Her cunt was like the sweetest vice grip he had ever experienced, he had never felt anything more wonderful in his entire life as he stilled his hips and just waited, not wanting to hurt her or cum so fast that she would inevitably laugh at him. ‘Are you alright?’ He questioned, wanting to make sure he wasn’t hurting her too badly but she nodded.

‘I want to see all of you brother…I never want you to hide any part of you from me again.’ She spoke as she reached up and pulled the eye patch from his face. He reflexively turned his head away but she caught him, turning his head back and pulling him down to kiss the scar both over and under his eye. ‘My husband nor my brother will ever have to hide from me, you are so strong…and I think my husband is the most handsome man in the 7 kingdoms. I will fight anyone who chooses to disagree with me.’ She teased making him smile before he choked on his breath, her pussy squeezing his member suddenly before she wiggled her hips. ‘Take me brother, I am all yours now!’

‘Yes you are…Mine! I will kill anyone who even thinks to disagree with me! All mine…’ Aemond spoke, shifting his hips back before pushing back in gently, doing it again only to thrust up into her this time. ‘Your husband is going to fill your belly so full tonight that no one will be able to question whether or not you are carrying my son. You want that, don’t you Princess? You want me to give you a baby?’

Y/n’s head nodded frantically as Aemond was now jack hammering his hips into her mercilessly, her whines prompting him to go faster. ‘Yes Brother! Yes! I want to give you everything! Fill my womb so that I may give you all the sons you want!’

‘Never going to stop breeding your cunt, Gods you feel magnificent! We’re going to end up having an entire army because I am never going to stop fucking you! Cum for me Princess and your husband will fill your womb, give me your pleasure!’ He demanded just before she cried out, her head thrown back as her cunt clamped down on him so hard he briefly thought it would hurt before the pleasure shot straight up his spine and he buried his cock into her as deeply as he could.

Aemond couldn’t tell how long they laid there breathing heavily and just holding each other, it felt as if they lost time before there was a knock on the door and Y/n flinched, instinctively trying to cover her body with a blanket despite no one entering. ‘My Prince? If you have finished we need-‘

‘Shut Up! Say Another Word and I Will Remove Your Tongue!’ He growled to the maester at the door. ‘Stay still my love, I will take care of it.’ He kissed her head and she smiled, humming contently before wincing as he pulled out of her, using his thumb to press his cum back into her abused hole as it leaked out. Aemond jumped up and pulled the sheet carefully from under her and off of the bed, rolling his eyes as he saw the small amount of blood on the white linen that he had made sure to fuck her on top of as he wasn’t willing to argue about them needing evidence that consummation took place. ‘I will be right back, then you are mine for the next week, because I do not plan on us leaving this bed for at least that long.’ He teased, kissing her nose and making her giggle as he pulled his trousers on and moved to the door, unbarring it and stepping outside while shutting the door behind him, unwilling to let anyone see his wife in her current state. At the door stood Maester Mellos along with his Grandsire, his mother and brother, and also Rhaenyra and Daemon. ‘I do not understand why this needed to be such a spectacle for so many of you but here.’ He shoved the sheet at the old man angrily. ‘Now, all of you will leave because if I find out anyone continued listening at the door I will slit you from balls to brains!’ The maester inspected the sheet before nodding to the Queen who genuinely looked sorry for her son.

‘I didn’t know you had it in you brother!’ Aegon laughed, Otto shoving him away quickly and dragging him down the hall before Aemond could move to cut him open as he wanted to, Daemon following along, clearly not caring about being there and only having done so as he loved his niece- to ensure Aemond was a gentleman.

‘Take care of your wife Aemond, I know you will be a good husband, better than your brother.’

‘Thank you mother-oh! We will be taking all of our meals in our chambers tomorrow-and for the foreseeable future. Please be sure a maid is sent to do that, my wife will need breaks to eat.’ Alicent didn’t look shocked at all, just nodding her head before she walked off.

‘Brother.’ Rhaenyra spoke, Aemond sighing before giving her his attention. ‘Take care of her. She is a gentle soul, if you hurt my sister I will make sure you do not live to see whatever children you give her.’ He rolled his eyes, not giving a fuck about his elder sisters threat.

‘If you think for a moment that I would harm her then you know nothing about our relationship at all-oh! Wait! You don’t…it took 9 years but I always knew that I would make her mine no matter what I had to do. I’m just thankful that father gave into my threat before you could give her away to that idiot Wolf in the North.’

‘W-what are you-‘

‘Of course, you don’t know! I made my mother aware of the fact that if you were successful in marrying off our sister that I would have mounted Vhagar and burned every inch of the Starks home, and every other home and stronghold that had snow covering it. She was never going to marry anyone else, that was decided quite a long time ago…it just that no one but I knew it.’ He explained, enjoying her shocked expression before opening the door to go back to his wife. ‘Oh! One more thing! You should make sure that you keep your eldest on a short leash, because if I find out-or Gods forbid catch him-peeping at my wife like he did under your watch, he will be locked in the Black cells until I decide to feed him to Vhagar. Your heir or not, father will not be able to argue with him dishonoring my wife and his favorite grandchild, and you know it…it was lovely to see you again sister.’ With that Aemond slammed the door in her face and turned back to his wife.

‘Is everything okay?’ Y/n asked, clearly nervous that the sheet wouldn’t be enough evidence and they would demand to watch this time.

‘Of course my Love, I will always ensure that it will be. Now, let us continue enjoying our marital bliss for as long as we can, hmm?’ Y/n smiled, dropping the blankets and revealing her naked chest to his eyes and he couldn’t help but imagine the breasts that he was in love with, swollen with milk to feed the boy that was growing in her womb. He was desperate to taste it himself, his cock growing hard in record time at the thought before he leapt into the bed beside her.

‘I want to stay here with you like this forever.’ She admitted, now sitting in his lap, his cock buried in her pussy as he enjoys worshipping her breasts with his mouth.

‘As you wish Sister…Always.’

Aemond Targaryen Masterlist

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merakiui · 3 days

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I NEED to hear your thoughts on regretful yanderes in the twst cast. i’m starving for crumbs pls just write the most depraved shit imaginable😭

👁 👁 regretful yans!!!!!

Floyd who regrets being so rough with you initially because now you’re terrified of him and he’s trying so hard to change your perception of him—to no avail, for you’re always going to feel uneasy around him. </3 still, he won’t give up in this pursuit.

Jade who regrets breaking you too early. It’s just no fun if there’s nothing new to pick apart. He doesn’t regret your circumstances, nor does he feel a shred of remorse. He does, however, regret his own lack of patience. Had he acted differently, perhaps you wouldn’t be a shell of your former self just months into captivity. What a shame. He really was hoping for more.

Jamil who regrets not coming between you and Kalim sooner. If he’d done so, perhaps you wouldn’t have been made to be Kalim’s partner and maybe then you’d still have some semblance of freedom despite being a servant like he is. Maybe it was better when it was you and Jamil because at least then you were equals who could confide in one another. But now he serves you, and you’re always meant to be just out of his reach, as are many of life’s greatest pleasures.

Malleus who regrets not meeting you sooner. There’s something about you that sticks with him. It’s like the two of you click. Like you’re one of the missing puzzle pieces needed to make him feel whole. You’re so bright and sweet. It’s a shame he couldn’t have met you sooner. Perhaps your presence would have served to soothe the ache of ever-present loneliness back when he was but a small youth.

Sebek who regrets treating you so harshly. Because of this, you’re so averse to him. It doesn’t help that he’s finally come to terms with what he’s been feeling all this time. How is he to confess if you’re always avoiding him!!! Just when he thinks he ought to turn his nose up and huff, grumble about how he shouldn’t even bother giving a human his heart, he realizes you’d probably never accept it anyway. You’ve made your dislike of him clear, and he’s been told countless times by Silver and Lilia that his behavior drives you away and any hope of forming a friendship is strained by his views on you. Sebek just has a complicated jumble of feelings, and his love for you makes it even more confusing. One day you’ll come around to him. One day…

Riddle who regrets subjecting you to the same treatment his mother did to him when he was little. Because of this, you trip over yourself in an effort to be his perfect partner, to keep yourself in check lest you break some absurd rules that give Riddle reason to punish you. At one point, you just,,,, break. And now you’re nothing more than a sad, empty doll. Riddle feels horrible! It’s all his fault you’ve been reduced to this. >_<

Cater who regrets pushing you away. He’s always standing at the edge of “more than friends,” but he never surpasses that. He can never know best friends (even though he calls everyone his bestie). He can never know love (even though he likes to call himself a master matchmaker). He can never know what lies beyond that line of temporary relationships because every part of his life has been temporary and fleeting, as if it’s merely a film roll destined to burn away much sooner than he anticipates. So Cater keeps you at an arm’s length, if only to spare himself the heartbreak. And as a result he turns to stalking you, to immersing himself in your Magicam presence to keep up with you outside of his very casual friendship with you. He was content to push and push because you kept within his orbit, so stubborn despite his best efforts. But now all of the pushing has finally worked and for the first time he realizes it’s not enough to simply watch from afar.

#twisted chit chat

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evergreenpascal · 2 days

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anchor (javier peña x f!reader)

summary: javier lost you, and doesn’t know if he can ever win you back.

( i suck at any kind of summary, sorry)

this is my first fic and i am honestly very unsure about it, so consider it as just practice please

part 2 will probably come.

word count: 2,056

Javier doesn’t know precisely when you engraved yourself inside his very being. He can’t recall the exact moment he went from getting annoyed by your witty comments and constant teasing to craving them, feeling like he was about to be sick when you wouldn’t even bother to look his way. He doesn’t know when it all changed. But it has been a while.

He can’t explain it, and he isn’t sure he wants to give himself even a split second to think about whatever is going on inside his head. He doesn’t want to think about the feeling he gets when he sees you check into the office every morning, he doesn’t want to think about the smile he tries so hard to surpass whenever you make a bad joke to Steve and your cheeks warm up when Steve just gives you a look instead of laughing, he doesn’t want to think about the way his breath hitches when you decide to wear that skirt you rarely wear to work, and he definitely doesn’t want to think about how his chest suddenly feels too tight to the sight of you laughing to something that man who Javier doesn’t know just said.

But he does anyway. It’s all he ever thinks about. You are all he ever thinks about.

He watches the way you throw your head back, the way your shoulders shake, he almost smiles at the smile planted on your face when you lower your head. What could he have said that would make you laugh like that? Why do you never laugh like that when you are with him? Javier pauses. You did once, for a short time. It just feels too long ago now.

He shouldn’t stare. He knows. He just can’t bring himself to stop. You are so beautiful, and he isn’t sure if you are actually glowing under the dim lighting of the room or that’s just how his eyes see you now.

“Javi?” Javier nearly jumps when her voice takes him out of the little trance he had been in. And it’s like torture to tear his eyes off of you to turn to her, just as he saw your hand move up to the man’s reached-out hand.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s dance?” No.

He forces out a smile that he hopes is believable. “Sure.”

Her face lights up and Javier wants nothing more than to just tell her everything right then and there, to be finally done with it. To be able to go to you, tell you everything, beg you to give him a chance if he needs to. Instead, he reaches his arm out to the woman standing next to him and finds himself living in what could easily be one of his worst nightmares; watching you dance with another man across the room while he is dancing with another woman, wishing it was you whose waist he wraps his arm around on the dance floor.

He just wants to leave. He wants to run across the room, grab you and drag you away with him from everything and everyone so maybe you would talk to him. And what if you did? Would he even be able to say everything he wants to say to you?

She lays her head on his shoulder, swaying to the music while Javier cannot take his eyes off of you for even a split second.

He is pathetic.

The next ten to fifteen minutes that it takes you to excuse yourself, slowly walk to the door at the back of the room and slip out like you are afraid you will get caught, feels like torture to him. Watching you like this, with someone else, might just do what all those cigarettes or bullets couldn’t do yet.

Before he knows it, he is following you out of the room even though he knows he shouldn’t. He knows he will get on your nerves again, because apparently that’s the only thing he can make you feel in these days, but he can’t stop himself. He’s entering the balcony you just did seconds ago before he can even realize he’s there and talk himself out of it.

Your head snaps back to the door, almost as if you were afraid that he would come after you. He doesn’t see any surprise or anger in your face; this time, there’s just exhaustion.

“Cariño,” Javier finds himself murmuring. He sounds hasty. He feels like he is already running out of time. All he needs is just a little time to explain himself, to make you understand.

“What, Javier? What do you want?” You sound so… unlike you. He’s used to your voice in which he can basically hear your smile, even though it’s been a while since he’s heard it that way towards him. And now, you sound tired, disappointed.

“I just want you to listen to me,” he says. “Just for a minute.”

You huff out a shaky laugh and fuck, are you crying?

You look him over with teary eyes for a couple of seconds.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

He freezes. He tried talking to you so many times, always ending with you dismissing him harshly. He expected it. He was used to it.

This, he did not expect.

Javier’s mind runs a million miles per second, contemplating your possible reactions to what he is about to explain to you. Because he is. Fuck, he is. He is going to tell you everything and beg you to forgive him for keeping it from you for months.

He thought he could do it, hide a million things from you and be with someone else for the greater good for a limited amount of time if he just stayed away, but he can’t. Fuck the drug lords, and fuck the government. He doesn’t care what will come his way when he tells you, not anymore. He just needs you.

“I- Look, when I tell you what I’m about to tell you…” He stops, and you pause. Why can’t he just come out and say it?

The longer he stares at you without saying anything, the expression on your face turns to concerned, your eyes still shining with unshed tears.

It’s unfair that you are this beautiful. You distract him by just standing there, taking his breath away and making his thoughts scatter.

He takes a shaky breath.

Just say it. Just get it together and say it.

For a split second, you look like you forget everything. Forget how badly he broke you, how badly he fucked up, and you take a step towards him. “Javier what is it?”

Will you ever call him Javi again?

“It’s not real,” he eventually blurts out, surprising not only you but also himself. His hands go up to cover his face, he rubs his face in frustration and drops his hands back to his sides. “It’s not fucking real, none of it. I swear.”

All the blood is drawn from your face in an instant.

“What?”

“Yeah. She’s- Boss told me to…” He stops himself before finishing the sentence. You don’t need to hear the details of what he has been up to with her. “She’s the sister of some prick- a lawyer who is connected to him.”

During the two years he has known you, he believes he has gotten rather good at reading you. What each and every one of the tiny expression changes on your face means, how you always play with the tip of your necklace when you are nervous, how you bite the inside of your cheek and lower your face to hide from him when he makes you blush. Right now, he can’t read you.

You haven’t moved an inch, you just stare at him with your mouth slightly open. He knows you understand all the things he can’t put into words because he’s just that pathetic, but you are smart— maybe too smart for your own good.

He waits patiently when you avert your gaze from his eyes to his neck. He doesn’t pressure you even though every second you don’t say a word is killing him slowly. It’s the least he can do after everything.

You swallow a couple of times, and when you look back at his face, all he sees is… rage. And disappointment.

Your face scrunches up like you can’t even look at him, motion making your tears finally fall to your cheeks. He wants to kick himself.

“Months,” is the only thing you say at first. He wishes you would scream at him, push him, hit him. Do something. Anything.

“Five months, I-“ you stop again. He watches you as you try to take a few deep breaths, and it takes everything in him to not just reach to you, hold you, drop to his knees and beg until you forgive him.

After what feels like an eternity to him, you startle as if getting out of a trance. Your voice is shaky when you mutter the next words. “I have to go.”

Javier straightens up, hardly breathing, looking at you with parted lips. “What?”

“I have to go, he’s- I- I have to-”

“No.” Javier shakes his head, his strained voice cutting through your rambling. You look at him, flustered, tears ready to start flowing down any second.

“Please,” he begs. “Just talk to me.”

You huff. “Talk to you.”

Javier wonders if you can see the desperation he feels through his eyes. He takes a step towards you but stops when you immediately take one back.

“What do you want me to say, Javier?”

Anything. “I don’t know.”

“You lied to me for months. I thought I did something to scare you off— or- or that something I did was the reason that you suddenly stopped talking to me.” He winces, shakes his head. His eyes drop to your neck when you furiously wipe the tear that finally drops and he suddenly can’t stand to face you anymore. Months of resentment towards himself come in full force to hit him in the chest with a single drop of your tear. “For months, Javier.”

He is silent after that. He wants to say how much he cares about you, how hurting you was not even the last thing he would want to do in this world, how he would take on anything and anyone if it meant he could see you smile at him just one more time. Yet all words stuck behind the lump in his throat, choking him slowly.

“I’m sorry.” His voice is barely a whisper, but you hear him.

When you don’t say anything and he dares to look back at your face, he regrets it immediately. You don’t try to hold your tears back anymore, your bottom lip is trembling, and you are looking at him in a way that…

He deserves this, he thinks. He deserves this for not only hurting you, but for every other shit he did. This is how he’s being punished.

When you talk again, your voice is so small that Javier feels it creeping inside his rib cage and pinching his heart. “You could’ve told me.”

“I couldn’t tell anyone.”

“You could have told me.”

Could he have? Maybe he could. Maybe all of this was for nothing other than him being a coward. Maybe he didn’t have to hurt you, or kill himself slowly while watching you hurt because of him.

He watches you look at his face for a couple more seconds and swallow a sob, and walk past him inside the building without muttering another word.

He doesn’t stop you.

Javier thought about this moment for months, going over everything he wanted to say to you in his head, always coming to the conclusion that you would forgive him. Maybe not immediately, but after listening to him, he thought you would.

But the first chance he got, the first time you actually stopped to listen to him… fuck. Why couldn’t he say any of it?

He feels lightheaded, the thought of you going back to another man right now suddenly taking the front row in his train of thought.

He looks back at the door, and the moment slips away from the palm of his hand.

He will fix it, he thinks. He will fix everything. He just hopes you will let him.

#pedro pascal #javier peña #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña fic #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #narcos #narcos fanfiction

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faghubby · 2 days

Text

Are you sure?

"Paul, do you have a fantasy? You know something you always wanted to try?" Janet asked as we laid in bed after making love.

"This is it babe" I responded trying not to fall into some kind of trap

"No seriously, what about two woman. Isn't that like all guys fantasy?" Janet asked.

"No, I got you that's all I want" I told her. She let it drop. I was relieved thinking I avoided so,e stupid thing she would hold over me. But in truth I had not lied. I was rather happy.

It was a few days later that Janet and I were watching a movie. When she suddenly started to unbutton my pants. It wasn't her type of movie and she had grown bored. As she kissed me and stroked my now hard cock.

"What's the kinkiest thing you ever done with someone?" She asked.

"I guess that night we went skinny dipping?" I told her. She seemed disappointed at my answer. "What about with someone else?" She asked.

"I don't know I guess one time I had sex in a car" I moaned. She seemed to lose her drive with my answer.

"Well what about you? What the kinkiest thing you ever done?" I asked. This peaked her interest

"My ex Brian shared me with his friend Jerome" she told me. Stroking me all that much faster. I was shocked by her answer. I had met Brian he was a bit of a jerk.

"Really?" I asked "I am so sorry" I told her.

"No babe it wasn't like that I loved it. And Jerome had such a big cock. I teased him I had never believed that black man had bigger cocks" Janet told me. She was obviously becoming more turned on as we talked. She slid onto my lap and rode me to an orgasm. After as we held each other.

"Would you do that?" Janet asked

"What?" I asked

"Share me?" She wiggled her ass against me.

"are you sure you want me too?" I asked.

"I would be a good slut for you" Janet said she flipped around and dove under the covers her mouth wrapped around my soft cock, causing it to stiffen immediately. I moaned as she sucked my dick. But for the first time wondering how many other guys she had done the same thing to.

I waited till the next day

"Janet did you really have sex with 2 guys?" I asked.

"Yes, why?" Janet asked looking at me with a crooked smile.

"It's just I had no idea" I continued.

"I did other things as well?" She hinted.

"Yeah, and um well we can talk about that some other time" I panicked not sure I wanted to know. Later that night Janet came to me she held several notebooks.

"Paul I want to be honest no secrets, and not sure you want to hear. So these are my journal that I have kept since I was a little girl. Read them or don't but it's all in here" Janet said laying them at my feet.

"Janet I don't" I started

"Then don't read them. But they are yours. So no secrets" she told me and left the room. I stared at them. They where labeled must go back to when she was 10 or so. Curious I picked up the first one. It was indeed a young girl she wrote about friends and crushes. Even her first kiss at 12 years old. It was innocent I felt like I was spying on her. But she had told me to read them. The second book was more. At 14 in 9th grade she had let an older boy. A senior in high school fuck her in the ass. It was her first sexual experience other then some petting and kissing. She was graphic about how he fucked her. How she loved it despite the pain. Shortly after that alot of the entries where about sex. She quickly moved to oral sex. Afraid of getting pregnant several boyfriends where offered anal and oral only. Till she was almost 16. Then she had vaginal sex for the first time I became engrossed in her sexual conquests skipping over the school and family stuff searching out this young woman writing about boys and their cocks. She obviously enjoyed not only sex but the attention it bought her.

I had not even realized it had been hours since I started reading, Janet came in and caught me. I felt embarrassed.

"You seem to like them" she smiled rubbing my leg. She took the book I was reading and checked where I was.

"Janet you were quite adventurous" I mentioned.

"Did you read something you wanted to try?" She asked. I must of made a face.

"It's the butt thing isn't it?" Janet smiled. I wasn't sure about it. It seemed messy. But she was right.

"I need a few minutes" Janet smiled. She then handed me book three. And flipped to about half way through the book. She smiled.

"Read this" Janet said and went into the bathroom.

Nick is obsessed with my ass, it started. He fucked my ass in the parking lot of the dorm. He had parked right under the light. He fucked me so hard I was crying out so loud security showed up. He held me in place as he offered the security guard a turn. I spread my legs even further hoping one of them would fuck my throbbimg pussy.

"No man, just get the slut inside" the security officer said and left. She wrote how she had never been more turned on.

Janet returned as I continued to read about how this guy Nick enjoyed exposing her as a slut. I fucked Janet's ass for the first time that night. She loved it even telling me to take her.

"Pull my hair. Or smack that ass" where just some of the things Janet moaned. I found it uncomfortable to do either. I became obsessed with reading Janet's journals. The more I read the more Janet wanted to play them out. The more I read the more Janet exposed herself as a slut.

"You really did all these things?" I asked on several occasions. Which included lesbian experiences, to a gang bang. The journals stopped shortly before I met her.

"I love to do these things for you" Janet told me. I didn't know the stories turned me on. But real life not sure I could di that, but I kept reading. It took two weeks for me to read all the journals. Janet begged me to treat her like a whore like in the journals I just couldn't. But even her begging me to turned me on. I often went back and read parts of the journals again. On one such occasion Janet came home unexpectedly and caught me masterbating to a story of her getting fucked by two black men.

"It's time for you to admit you like this to happen" Janet said replacing my hand with hers.

"I don't think I could watch you with another man" I moaned.

"What if I just cheated on you, would you forgive me. Have me suck your dick to make up for it when I got home"Janet teased as I came in her hand. A few weeks later we had taken a day trip. We where about two hour drive north of home. To look at the fall foliage when we stopped at a little restaurant for lunch. Our waiter was a big black kid. After he bought us our drinks. Janet reached over and rubbed my crotch.

"Did you notice his bulge" she giggled. I got excited thinking of them together. Janet openly flirted with the young man. I of course noticed the bulge in his pants since Janet had mentioned it. The young man was a bit nervous with Janet being so forward, I didn't say a word.

"No one will ever know" Janet whispered. I just nodded. Janet got up and followed the young man. About 10 minutes later she returned. She pushed her panties into my hand.

"There is a store room upstairs, backstairs outside lead to it" she told me kissed my cheek and left. I went out and sat in the car. I kept looking up towards the stairs. It was almost an hour before Janet came down those stairs. She got in the car she smelled of sex. Her hair a mess. She grabbed me and kissed me.

"I was a naughty nasty wife, are you going to take me home and punish me now." Janet asked me. "Want me to tell you about it like in the stories you like?" I was rock hard. She reached down and grasped my cock. She quickly fished it out. She dropped and took it all in her mouth. I started the car as she sucked my cock. But before I could even drive away. I came in her mouth. Janet swallowed every drop. She sat up took a sip of water and sat back like nothing had happened. I zipped up and drove home.

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sunday-halovian · 2 days

Text

Maintain Yourself

The child sat on the end of the sofa as his wings were pulled around behind him, crying at every movement. He couldn't be more than ten years old. It hurt it hurt it hurt, couldn't that man tell? Or was this some sort of punishment for letting such a thing happen? "Sunday, do you mind explaining what happened? You're always so careful."

He was the only halovian in his class, of course his classmates would want a look at his wings. If he let them indulge in that one thing, perhaps they'd stop with everything. Laughing at him whenever he'd refuse to go into the field, scared to get branches caught on anything. Yelling at him for ruining the lesson whenever he desperately tried not to do anything wrong, not to spill anything during the lab practicals and panicking if he did. Getting annoyed whenever he'd cry about them ruffling his hair or feathers or uniform. Robin had plenty of friends in her class, Sunday just wanted something similar. That wasn't unreasonable for a child to want, right? To be treated normally.

"That's not too hard a situation for you to control, now, is it?"

It wouldn't have been if they were only looking at his wings like they'd promised. But one of them almost immediately grabbed his wing and started playing with his feathers. It wasn't something he could talk his way out of and if he tried to push any of them away he'd get in trouble for starting a fight. They just got a little too investigative, a little too boisterous, as children were prone to, and he'd gotten hurt as a result. Realistically, Sunday should have seen it coming. That's just what they were like. That's what children were like. He wasn't any different, ultimately. If he'd never seen something before, he'd want to learn about it too. It's just a child's instinct. It was his fault anything has gone wrong.

"How are you supposed to protect Robin if you can't even take care of yourself? You're her older brother, you have a duty."

"I'm sorry Mr. Gopher Wood."

"This isn't something you apologise about, it's something you do right next time."

"Yes, Mr. Gopher Wood." His voice was barely above a whisper. It was all he could muster without crying while Gopher Wood manipulated his wings. Was all this really needed to check what had happened? Surely the excruciating pain of trying to move them himself was enough to prove something had been broken.

He could feel feathers being plucked, causing a seating pain to shoot through his body. They were right where his wings were injured and would get infected if left but surely there was some way of numbing the area. Normally, it would only feel like a short, sharp pinch, but today you may as well have drawn a knife from Sunday's body.

He wanted to run away, to curl up and hide with Robin and cry without judgement. But he couldn't. Gopher Wood was trying to help and so he would be forced to sit still until the man was done. No one could disobey the Head of The Oak Family.

The injury never actually healed and with each passing day, Sunday grew more and more suspicious on why Gopher Wood insisted on moving his wings around like that for so many weeks if not to monitor the injuries.

It became a well known fact that Sunday was the only halovian in all of Penacony to have never once shown his wings publicly. Though people speculated, it was rather simple, actually. They were a mess. Pristine only if you'd never seen a halovian's wings before. Mismatched, feathers unkempt and unable to be, out of order, unable to properly move, only flutter a little. And still painful.

The halovian woke with a start. He was still in his bed, but he could feel his body shaking and tears dripping down his cheeks. He sat up, running his hands over his cheeks to dry them. Who knows how long he sat there, fingers weaving through his feathers and instinctively snatching any out of place.

#dreamscape #// mod: im on a semi hiatus so i can revise for my exams i say #then i do this on the day of my exams

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return-to-ravenbrooks · 22 hours

Text

Return to Ravenbrooks:

Biography

Entry 8

Name: Finch [REDACTED]

Date of Birth: 1996

Gender: F

Current Address: 910 Friendly Court

Height: 5'0

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Black

Key features: Dyed hair, grey pink lipgloss, lip piercing

Role: Scout

Abilities: Eyesight, accuracy, flexibility

Occupation: "Wouldn't you like to know"

Status: Fair

Biography:

"Dude!" Delroy jumped back.

"What the hell Nicky?!" Maritza was staring, dumbfounded. I let out a long 'impressed' whistle. He was already reeling from the impact before Aaron even hit the floor. I think he might've broken something.

"Mmmppphhhh- Holy aliens-" he exhaled through gritted teeth.

"Nice shot, first time throwing a punch?" I smirked.

"Not the time Finch." Trin shot me a glare, I don't know when she managed to learn such a mean look, but it always caught me off guard. I pursed my lips impatiently. Sure enough, he busted a knuckle and probably fractured something from the way he was now babying his hand. We couldn't find the will to care though, or at least were too busy recovering from the shock. "I thought you guys were best friends?"

Nicky didn't respond, but the two exchanged a look. God I hate when they do that. Looks like that are how we got here in the first place.

"Delroy, do you have any rope on you?" She asked. Delroy looked completely off put by this, but there was that look again.

"What kind?"

"What're you got?"

I leaned my head back and sighed, rubbing my forehead. "Please tell me we're not doing what I think we're doing..." I felt Maritza's arm rest on my shoulder.

"No way, we're 'just taking a quick look' remember?" She smirked and stifling the laugh it gave me was difficult at best. Jabbing her however, was much easier.

"I mean, we were going to question him anyways- eventually. Right?" Enzo tried to reason while helping lift Aaron.

I don't know why I of all of us was given the camera for this. Or why we needed a camera for it. I mean sure we took pictures all the time while investigating but this felt- creepy.

"This is like CIA kinda shit guys."

"He'll be fine. He can deal with a little interrogation after what he did." Nicky shook his head. He's still nursing his hand, even in its loose bandage.

I don't blame Aaron for his freak-out when he wakes up. I suppose being tied to a chair in your kitchen while the kid who tried to break your face stands over you.

"Nicky?" What the hell?" He looked around frantically. Or as much as possible when someone grabs your face. It's borderline weird how grabby he got. Checking his nostrils, the underside of his chin, his cheeks, inside his ears, pupils. Finally when he was done looking for- whatever that was he took a step back and cupped his hands over his face.

"Why couldn't you have just been a changeling or something?!" He yelled into his hands.

"Wha- did you actually punch me over more alien nonsense?!" He wiggled under the knots. Nicky rubbed his temples and paced heavily.

"No! But- You're not supposed to be here! You're dead!" He stopped to gesture towards him. Maybe he thought it would make him not be here. "I mean- they looked through the whole house! The town! You were just gone!"

Aaron's face scrunched, a mix of pain, and what I could only assume was embarrassed regret. Like a dog caught chewing the remote.

"Besides!" He rubbed his bangs back, "You must be dead! I can't imagine any other reason that you'd go 12 years without calling or sending a letter or just doing, I dunno, anything to tell your best friend you're not dead!" He threw his hands in the air, and like a cue, Aaron's expression worsened.

"Look I wanted to, I really did just-"

"Just what Aaron? You can go get a fancy degree and put your life together so perfectly, but you can't bother to find a way to tell me you were okay? I went nuts trying to find you! I went through school a laughing stock because no one believed me that you needed help!"

"And because you broke your window with a chair and acted like a total asylum patient," I added. His shoulder's scrunched, and I could almost feel his want to turn his scolding to me next. But he stayed facing Aaron. Clearly, this was more intense than I'd realized. And, suddenly holding the camera didn't seem so bad. Wish I had popcorn, though.

"I just- ugh. Aliens, forgive me..." he buried his face in his hands again, dragging them slowly down his cheeks. "I would've been fine if you simply really never wanted to see me again, but I needed something! I was so sure that- that you were just waiting for me to stop messing around and do what I was supposed to!"

"Nick, I-" Aaron paused, shifting under his ropes again. "For god's sake, can you guys untie me?!"

"No, you had a strong dead arm when we were kids. I'm not testing your shots now that you're-" Nicky gestured madly at him again. "I dunno, a football player? A wrestler?"

"An architect."

"Seriously?" He looked him over several times. "Whatever, point is, I'm not testing the structural integrity of my bones today"

"Any more than you already have," I added. This time, he did look back, I met his eyes with a flashing grin.

"I'm not going to punch you," Aaron promised with a sigh, letting his head drop. The way his hair fell around his face, I almost would've thrown model in with that list of job guesses.

Nicky folded his arms, jerking his head away in a "hmph." Aaron accepted this solid, 'no' with another sigh.

"Look, I couldn't say anything because I-" he paused and grumbled. "I was busy, okay?"

Nicky looked ready to try and break his other hand. Instead, he just ran it through his bangs again. "Busy... right. Right... well, am I going to meet the wife 'n kids?"

Aaron choked on the air, "What?!"

"Well I can only assume a perfect family came with your busy-ness"

"Dude- Gross! No!" He spat the words like he was still a middle schooler. Ready to talk about how kissing girls gave you cooties. Nicky chorted, stifling giggles, which slowly turned to laughter.

"Yeah, right, sorry. You probably couldn't even manage to kiss a girl"

"I could too!" Aaron started to laugh as well. "Dude, shut up! Stop laughing!"

"You stop! I'm pissed at you!" There's something about watching two grown men giggling uncontrollably that's just, boring.

I stopped the recording, "Are you two gonna keep at this for much longer?" The louder laughter occasionally intertwined with 'dude' drowned out my question almost entirely. "...Whatever. Have fun weirdos."

I'd be willing to bet good money they didn't even hear the door shut behind me.

#hello neighbor return to ravenbrooks #return to ravenbrooks #hello neighbor #hello neighbor au #rtrb #hnas #welcome to ravenbrooks #hello neighbor welcome to raven brooks #finch hello neighbor #finch #aaron peterson #nicky roth

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blood-grove · 2 days

Text

Werewolf Bites

pervious <- discomfort -> next stage of infection

tws; sickness , injuries , vomiting , violence, no use of y/n

parings: gaz x male reader (established relationship)

-> c/n - call sign

-> n/n - nickname

Fuck

You feel like you've said that too many times now.

But it was right once again.

The fluorescent lights were killing you as you squinted around the room your eyes landing on a blurry figure entering the room they said something something as they talked too your side.

It was all muffled you just stared up at them.

You probably look stupid now eyes all unfocused and ears still faintly ringing as your hearing came back staring up at them like a bug.

"..God you're probably too drugged up to even remember the past few days..maybe even too out of it to understand this again."

Again.

Hm.

You blinked as he came into focus finally.

Oh right, Kyle.

"Again?"

"..Yeah Lovie..nice to see you awake again you've been in and out of it..How's the shoulder..?"

Right the bite.

You could barely feel it really but with a quick glance at it and more colors of bruises than the rainbow itself, you guessed the drugs were working great for you to feel barely anything.

"..Can't feel it much.."

"..Good..they upped your dosage enough the last time you woke you were sobbing near screaming in pain..I..It hurt to see you like that.."

"..Oh sorry.."

He just sighed chuckled as he shook his head and gently pressed a kiss to your forehead as he leaned down.

"Don't apologize..You've been through so much..Mission was a success though..The guys have been checking in on you too.."

"..Ghost too..?"

"Yes, love..I still don't understand why you think he hates you over a small prank.."

You just whined huffing it was a small prank honestly but it feels like you've done something horrible, You could blame your anxiety or whatever the hell else is wrong with you.

But you blamed yourself.

"..Try not to think about it much..Focus on healing up.."

And focus you did.

A day had passed and you fever had gone down.

They took you off your IV and finally gave you the all-clear for a mostly solid lunch a sandwich, some apples, medicine.

Water.

You had ate everything else swallowing your pills dry.

You couldn't stand the taste of the water though.

Maybe it was just your tastebuds being weird.

Next day you luckily got juice.

Gaz visited when he could ill you were eventually back up on your feet with a still sore and off-colored shoulder.

You'd still have to get some checkups for it it would have returned back to its normal color by now you weren't that worried though you were feeling great really.

You were told to take it easy minimal training meant you were still benched on Price's order and your begrudging acceptance.

But there were pros the main being that now you were cuddled up gently with Gaz who carded his hand gently through your hair peppering kisses along your face grinning.

"I missed you so much.."

"You saw me everyday.."

"I..I mean I missed holding you..Being close like this with you.."

"..I missed you too."

God, you didn't know how you got with such an incredible man.

Luck? Pity?

Maybe both.

The day you confessed you honestly thought your heart would give out when he just giggled.

That sly man of course had to tease you he already knew the rest of team knew your schoolgirl crush on Kyle.

You weren't subtle about it.

Following him around and 'coincidentally' ending up in the same room as him.

Just being close to him made you feel all fuzzy, You didnt want to be seen as a creep but you just loved everything about him.

You both never talked about marriage but you'd give everything you had to be with him to please him the lingering fear of showing such love to him still hung around.

You fear you'd break if he left you.

Us.

"Love?"

"Mm..?"

Oh he was looking at you all concerned.

Why.

Did you do something wrong? You didnt mean too.

Please dont be upset.

"You whined..Is it your shoulder..?"

"I did..?"

"Yeah..you did.."

"Its nothing.."

You shifted as you sat up in bed ignoring the tug at the back of your mind to sit and stay.

Why were you thinking like this now?.

"Love..c'mon speak for me please.. Whatever ever it is you can tell me."

"I-..I don't know..I just..feel off.."

"You must be..youve been cooped up in the medical ward for days.."

"Yeah..I guess its that.."

You sighed as you felt him gently kiss your sore shoulder.

"Hows the shoulder..?"

"Sore..achy..but fine."

"Mm..Well thats better.."

He smiled, God that smile.

You didnt resist when he gently brought you back to laying down his hands gently glided his hands over your arms and thighs before coming back up to cup your face.

"Heh.."

"What..? Is..Is there something on my face?"

"If you mean the adorable look your giving me then yeah.."

"Oh hush.."

You both laid like that for a bit enjoying the quiet.

"Love you n/n"

"Love you too.."

a/n: hopefully this is good kinda of rushed the end

#cod #gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #gaz x male reader #reader #werewolves #werewolf au #hehe #kyle gaz x reader #kyle garrick #call of duty #no use of y/n #hehehhe

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sicklyseraphnsuch · 8 hours

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Honestly, Im a little disappointed that it wasn't messier. Im disappointed that there wasnt more shouting. That Lauda was providing most of the pushing and everyone else was just kinda... rolling over? I wanted an argument that would have brought the roof down on them 🙄

the reason theres so much constant tension in this party is that they all havent tried hard enough to punch each other in the face - like really smash.

to be totally serious tho, remember when Chetney told Ashton to gtfo and thats what broke the tension? someone finally getting the guts to be mean and to push hard on someone else's reckless bullshit?

the fact that theres no such equivalent here? the fact that chetney hasnt intervened on that level? thats whats keeping this tension.

on one hand, the way some of the party treat laudna is so fucking patronizing, its actively painful - Ashton whispering to Laudna for an apology? wtf? the way they acted like she was a misbehaving toddler set my teeth on edge. Then Imogen... Buddy, pal, you just watched your mother regurgitate Ludinus's lies like they were stone cold facts and youre out here accepting the same thing from Laudna without a second glance. You know she has a problem! You know she's not the most reliable narrator! You know she fails insight checks against herself all the time!!!

Ashton and Imogen both needed to treat Laudna like a threat in that moment bc she attacked someone without provocation during a rest when they were trusting her to not do that and it was clearly premeditated because she covered herself in darkness. The fact that they dont demonstrates that neither are taking her capabilities seriously enough. The fact that they arent addressing the threat she presents - to others and herself - is allowing her to continue hurting herself and others.

Whereas, Fearne is complicit in it all because shes so conflict averse. She was never gonna be the one to hold Laudna over the fire.

Chetney and Orym would have. Orym was trying to but literally only Dorian backed him up. And Dorian doesnt know fuck about all. He joined them two days ago. Hes got no fucking clue whats happening!! Oryms the only one really pointing out the fact that he was attacked unprovoked

and sure laudna was aiming for the sheathe, but thats splitting hairs... i believe we removed targeting each armor piece somewhere in dnd 3.5 or something lol - if youre targeting a piece on someone, the usual call Matt makes is to give this a higher DC. Matt making Marisha roll arcana makes sense bc yes you can control wither and blooms "chosen target", but when the target is attached to something else, and moreover the target is a thing - not a creature like the spell says RAW... it makes sense that a failed arcana check would lead to that failure

for all intents and purposes, laudna was aiming for orym. she didnt mean to hurt him but again, shes operating under the influence (and yes I do mean that connotation). a lot of people do shit they dont mean under the influence. but they still gotta do the repairs when they come back to their senses. harm was still done. Orym attacking laudna bc he was hurt and blinded is also fucking reasonable. he didnt fucking know it was her in the first place.

for laudna to say that orym hurt her when she attacked him - that was grade A manipulation

and heres the thing too, when someone is acting under the influence, people usually call it out. they say stuff like "youre drunk" or "youre high" to acknowledge that hey, this isnt you but also this isnt acceptable either. no one breathed a fucking word about delilah until the very very end. they all treated laudna like she was in a reasonable state of mind, and she wasnt. they werent meeting her where she was at and so they failed to reach her

now to orym... did they all agree that the sword was oryms? bc that was a discussion they did not have... chetney made a one off comment about how theyll need permission for it (possibly implying orym but never explicitly stated)... was the idea that orym gets it because he got hurt first? that wouldve been stupid for sure

to dorian's point, hey its just a sword. swords hurt people. what youre gonna look at every sword with magic geometry and expect to see it cuddling puppies? swords are made to hurt. even when its defending. it can parry but if you need a shield get a shield. sure, this was otohan's sword but the sword is not sentient (laudna girl you need to insight check your patron pls). otohan hurt her not the sword. and to allow her to consume it was more leaning into her trauma - its not setting a good precedent for future healthy coping mechanisms basically

that said, dorian cant just say that without acknowledging the depth of laudnas trauma. the sword actively triggered her. this does reek of a PTSD episode where she went running to a soothing influence. to simply say its just a sword without paying respect to laudna's hurt is also incredibly dismissive - well aimed as it was.

chetney is sus. thats it. thats the take. i dont believe this old man when he said he trusts laudna. i think hes plotting

tl;dr - everyone tried to help laudna, no one tried to stop her which might be the only way to help her now. she needs someone to hold her back and call out when shes under the influence again.

#cr spoilers #critical role

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vivantesopvles · 2 days

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‘You must want something,’ Tom said, sidling up to Harry, who had donned an apron and was frying eggs at the hob. ‘Come on, I said I’d repay you for what you did at the Ministry. It’s not everyday that I’m in the mood for decency.’

Harry snorted. ‘Shocking, that.’

He did a little flourishing motion with his wand; in no time came the sound of espresso being made, and milk being steamed. He floated two slices of toast into the toaster, then checked the eggs.

He was doing a very good job at ignoring Tom, which was unacceptable – as much as Tom loved watching him go about his morning routine. So Tom drew close enough to press himself up against Harry’s back, hugging his waist, the way Harry liked it.

And Harry, unsurprisingly, turned red.

‘This, for example,’ Tom said softly. ‘You must know I can give you more. You won’t have to want for things ever again.’

‘And I suppose you’re doing this right now for reasons entirely selfless?’

Tom grinned down into Harry’s hair. Other than it being Harry’s birthday, which Harry himself seemed to have forgotten entirely, Tom also did intend to keep Harry sweet for his plans to work.

To Harry’s credit, he was a hard nut to crack. Tom can’t remember spending as much time wooing someone – not even to bed; Harry hardly trusted him with the weekly shopping. It was fortunate, perhaps, he knew just how to distract him.

‘Maybe … maybe not. But on a similar note,’ Tom continued, keeping his voice low and suggestive, ‘I’m told I give quite spectacular head.’

‘How’s that even relevant?’ Harry choked out. He squirmed a little in Tom’s arms, a token attempt to break himself free. ‘Riddle, are you trying to seduce me?’

‘Hmm … seduce would suggest an intention to lead astray, though.’ Tom chose to let his hands wander then, light and innocent down Harry’s stomach. ‘Is that what you want? An excuse to run away from everything whilst being thoroughly disavowed? Well, I can always kidnap you, if you ask nicely.’

He hadn’t expected it, but his words must’ve hit too close to home. Because Harry spun around, a curious mixture of anger and embarrassment on his face.

‘Is that a threat or a very bad attempt at psychoanalysis?’ he retorted, swatting off Tom’s hands and taking a step back. ‘You were doing such a good job just now, with the sweet-talking and whatnot. Pity you couldn’t keep up the act for more than five minutes.’

‘I suppose I’ll just have to try harder, then. It’s your birthday after all,’ Tom said placidly. He was enjoying this a bit too much, he realised; winding Harry up, watching him get defensive, or even better, flustered.

He went and plated Harry’s breakfast, slathering his toast with an absurd amount of butter, poured milk into his coffee and drew a little heart in the foam with magic. When he was done, he found Harry staring at him, visibly shaken.

Tom smiled. ‘We could start with holding hands if you’d like – it’d only just occurred to me that you might be a prude.’

08052024 | @microficmay | will

#microficmay2024 #tomarrymort #tomarry #harry potter #tom riddle #tom riddle/harry potter #tomarry fanfic

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yuuuhiii · 18 hours

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≡ should we kiss ?

includes : asking bestfriend!tr boys for a kiss, fluff, suggestive, hinting for something more???

notes: haven’t posted in a while! I’ve have so many whips but I can’t finish them AGH!

ken <𝟑

You’ve been hovering around Ken for hours. He said you guys would go check out that new fast food place that opened near his work. But he’s been tinkering with his bike ever since. You don’t know why you think of this and you don’t know why you tell him, but you do. You sigh for the millionth time and he smiles. “I’m almost done, I know you’re hungry.” He screws another bolt. “It’s not that.” He quirks a brow, “Then what is it?” You get up from your spot and plop down next to him, your hands resting on your knees. “Can I kiss you?” To his dismay, his cheeks redden every passing second so he turns away. “No!” He yells the tips of his ears and the nape of his neck flush red as well. “Jeez, you’d think since you’ve been raised in a brothel these things wouldn’t affect you.” You roll your eyes and he glances at you. Your lips are pulled in a pout and he can’t deny that they look so plump, so kissable. “Fine.” He mumbles, you hear him, but you tease him. “What was that?” You lean closer. “For fucks sake, I said fine.” He turns to you. He’s embarrassed but he looks cute like this. You lean in and place a peck on his lips, smiling against them. You pull away and smile widely again. “Can we go eat now?” “Y-Yea.”

takashi <𝟑

Takashi was your comfort person. In no way did you ever not feel safe around him or protected. He always attended to your needs and no matter how busy his schedule was, he always made time for you. As you walk into his studio, you’re rethinking everything all over again. However, when his eyes meet yours, your thoughts dissipate. At the sight of you, he immediately lightens up. He gets up quickly making his way towards you. “Hey you, I missed you.” He goes in for a hug, to which you gladly return. “I did too.” You smile and he gazes down at you with love . “Can you do me a favor?” You begin to blush and this interests him. “Of course, what is it.” His hands have drifted down, now clasped in yours, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles. Maybe it was a little touchy for two best friends but neither of you minded it. “Can we kiss? I-I wanna practice, it’s been a while ya know?” You look down and he grins, it's a little unsettling. He seems amused and playful. “As long as you don’t kiss anyone else.” He whispers and when you’re about to question him, he kisses you. His lips are soft and he holds the nape of your neck with such gentleness. His lips move slow and agonizing against yours, leaving you wanting more. That’s when you feel his tongue prod at your lips making you jump back. “Takashi!” You squeal, red as a tomato. He laughs, swinging your intertwined hands, satisfied.

manjiro <𝟑

Now Manjiro has been your best friend for as long as you remember. Despite him going through a lot he had his moments where he’d be relaxed and not so monotone. Manjiro was a playful person at heart, you wanted to do something to bring it out. You just wanted to get a reaction out of him. See his face when you popped the question. The moment he sees you he sighs in relief. “Finally you’re here let’s go eat.” He moves to grab your hand and lead you out but you stop him. He turns around a little irked. “What?” He’s close to pouting. “Can I have a kiss?” You pucker your lips and he blinks. You didn’t even have enough time to register his lips on yours, the shock had you on autopilot. When he pulls away, you’re blushing. “You kissed me.” You say breathlessly. His brows furrow. “Yeah I was wondering when you’d finally ask me.” You’re still confused. However, he stands up straight, looking genuinely confused. “Are we not dating?” He blinks and your jaw drops. “D-Dating? You never asked me out? You never told me you liked me!” You flush and a small blush forms on his cheeks as well, more out of shame. “Shit, well I don’t know. Let’s go talk about this when we’re eating.” He rushes out, pulling you along with him. You both had a lot to talk about.

haruchiyo <𝟑

The line between best friends and something more was definitely thin for you and Haruchiyo. At least he’d make it thin. All of the time he’d make teasing remarks, and be touchy with you. You never questioned anything because you were comfortable with him. However, there was definitely something more. There had to be right? Why else does he stare at you with such admiration while you’re doing mundane tasks? You’re over at his house as he’s editing a YouTube video of his. You had just made him snacks and go to place them on his table. “Eat something, it’s been hours.” You swear you can see his eyes twinkle as he stares at you. Then your eyes glance at his lips, so pink and a little chapped. He notices your staring and blushes yet his brows rise. You bite your lip and break your gaze but he isn’t backing down. “Hey.” He calls out and you look at him again. Your mouth moves before you can think. “Can I kiss you?” He doesn’t hesitate with his answer. He pulls you towards him, straddling his lap. His hands rest on your waist as your lips connect, the both of you fitting like a perfect puzzle piece. Your hands embrace his cheeks, pulling him impossibly closer. It was a needy kiss like the both of you had been waiting for this moment. And maybe you both were.

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stuniolo-simp4life · 7 hours

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I hope they look like you- Matt Sturniolo

Description- Matt and y/n find out something shocking about their future.

Warnings- Crying and comforting, a little suggestive during a flashback. Another short and sweet.

Y/n’s morning wasn’t exactly a great start. Her head was pounding and she felt nauseous and sick. Matt was peacefully sleeping beside her.

Suddenly, she had the urge to puke. She got up and ran to the bathroom, letting out whatever was making her feel this way.

A few seconds later, matt walked in, holding her hair like a ponytail and rubbing her back softly. “It’s okay pretty girl. Let it out.”

When she was done, she lifted her head softly, tears threatening to fall.

“You’re alright,” matt whispered to you. You grabbed your toothbrush and started brushing your teeth.

Usually you didn’t mind the taste of mint, but today it made you sick.

“Do you need anything?” matt asked. “I’m fine,” you snapped.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Your mood had been swinging like crazy today. You got mad because the TV wasn’t working, but then you started crying because you couldn’t reach a plate from a cabinet.

Matt had been worried about you, but you kept saying you were fine.

“I don’t know why but I've been craving pickles with chocolate frosting recently,” you announced to no one in particular.

Chris gave you a weird look and nick just looked confused. “Y/n you don’t even like pickles,” nick said.

“I know, but i just want to eat them for some reason,” you said with a shrug.

You got up and went to the kitchen, hoping to find pickles in the fridge. Matt was sitting on the island table.

Randomly you started crying. Matt looked up at you and got up, surprised. “Baby what wrong? Why are you crying?”

“There’s no more pickles,” you sobbed. Matt hugged you, clearly confused. You didn’t even like them, and now you were crying over them?

“Y/n are you on your period?” You sniffed and pulled out your phone, checking your cycle tracker.

Your eyes widened. You had missed your period by a whole week.

“I think it’s late by a little.” Matt didn’t think much of it. It was probably just before period symptoms.

You did not think that. Your eyes widened as it finally clicked. Where are you pregnant?

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Matt and his brothers had gone out to film a Wednesday video, leaving you at home.

You decided to walk to the pharmacy that was near your house, picking up 3 pregnancy tests.

When you got back you were pretty nervous about taking the test. What if you were pregnant? What would matt say? Would he be mad? How did this even happen-

Wait. Your eyes widen as you remembered.

You were at an influencer party and passed tipsy. You went up to matt, smashing your lips on his.

“Matty I need you,” you slurred. Matt just chuckled and looked at you. “Baby your wayyy to drunk. And this isn’t even our house.”

“Pleaseee,” you whined. “It won’t be long I promise,” you whispered seductively into his ear. You felt him stiffen as you started kissing and sucking his neck.

He grabbed your arm and dragged you towards nick and chris, who were currently talking to some people.

“Hey y/n isn’t feeling that good. We are just gonna wait in the car until you guys are done.” Nick nodded. “we should be out in about an hour.”

Matt walked you to the car, pushing both of you into the back seat. “You look so pretty in this dress, but i think you’d look even better without it.”

He kissed you roughly, biting at your bottom lip. “Wait baby i don’t have protection with me.”

“It fine just don’t cum inside me.”

Well it’s safe to say that he didn’t remember.

Your breathing quickened as you slowly realized- you might be pregnant. Your hands shook as you opened the pregnancy test.

You nervously waited for the results, biting your nails. After a few minutes, you checked it. Positive.

You let out a shaky breath as feelings overwhelmed you. 2 left to go.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Your eyes filled with tears as you read all 3 results. You were too young to be a mother. Hell- you were only 20!

You sank to the floor and started crying. No no no no no. This can’t be happening. The bathroom door opened and matt walked inside.

“Hey baby- y/n? What’s wrong?” he sat on the floor and wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

“I-Im sorry matt. I swear this was never meant to happen i-” “What are you talking about?” he cut you off.

You pointed to the counter where the pregnancy tests sat. His eyes widened as he looked at them. “Im so sorry this wasn’t meant to happen.” you sobbed

He looked at you with a big grin on his face. “Im gonna be a dad!” he picked you up and hugged you, shocking you.

“Your not mad?” you asked. He looked at you. “Of course im not mad. Im so excited. You're going to be such a good mom.”

“You really think so?” you asked. He smiled and kissed you on the cheek. “I know so.”

You giggled. “I hope the baby looks like you,” you said and kissed him.

tags- l34n theyluvme-2315 tillies33ssss maya555sblog alorsxsturn blahbel668 @nyktoxs-lover strnilolo hearteyesformatt

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ninadove · 1 day

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Nina reads Dracula 🦇

May 16th

Thought things couldn’t get worse for our good friend Jonathan…? WELL YOU WERE WRONG:

God preserve my sanity, for to this I am reduced. Safety and the assurance of safety are things of the past. Whilst I live on here there is but one thing to hope for, that I may not go mad, if, indeed, I be not mad already. If I be sane, then surely it is maddening to think that of all the foul things that lurk in this hateful place the Count is the least dreadful to me; that to him alone I can look for safety, even though this be only whilst I can serve his purpose. Great God! merciful God! Let me be calm, for out of that way lies madness indeed.

Is the Count running for N.1 Abusive Technically-Not-Boyfriend? Because he has a pretty strong shot.

Up to now I never quite knew what Shakespeare meant when he made Hamlet say:—

"My tablets! quick, my tablets!

'Tis meet that I put it down," etc.,

for now, feeling as though my own brain were unhinged or as if the shock had come which must end in its undoing, I turn to my diary for repose. The habit of entering accurately must help to soothe me.

We’re his only comfort and we can do nothing to help… 😭

When I had written in my diary and had fortunately replaced the book and pen in my pocket I felt sleepy. The Count's warning came into my mind, but I took a pleasure in disobeying it.

The fact that this was an intentional infraction breaks my heart in the best way possible.

In the moonlight opposite me were three young women, ladies by their dress and manner. I thought at the time that I must be dreaming when I saw them, for, though the moonlight was behind them, they threw no shadow on the floor.

More normal human things!!!

There was something about them that made me uneasy, some longing and at the same time some deadly fear. I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that they would kiss me with those red lips. It is not good to note this down, lest some day it should meet Mina's eyes and cause her pain; but it is the truth.

Honey I think Mina will forgive you for [checks notes] being manipulated through vampire pheromones

There was a deliberate voluptuousness which was both thrilling and repulsive, and as she arched her neck she actually licked her lips like an animal, till I could see in the moonlight the moisture shining on the scarlet lips and on the red tongue as it lapped the white sharp teeth. Lower and lower went her head as the lips went below the range of my mouth and chin and seemed about to fasten on my throat.

SOMEONE DRAG HER AWAY FROM HIM

I was conscious of the presence of the Count, and of his being as if lapped in a storm of fury. As my eyes opened involuntarily I saw his strong hand grasp the slender neck of the fair woman and with giant's power draw it back, the blue eyes transformed with fury, the white teeth champing with rage, and the fair cheeks blazing red with passion. But the Count! Never did I imagine such wrath and fury, even to the demons of the pit. His eyes were positively blazing. The red light in them was lurid, as if the flames of hell-fire blazed behind them.

NO NOT YOU

"How dare you touch him, any of you? How dare you cast eyes on him when I had forbidden it? Back, I tell you all! This man belongs to me! Beware how you meddle with him, or you'll have to deal with me." The fair girl, with a laugh of ribald coquetry, turned to answer him:—

"You yourself never loved; you never love!" On this the other women joined, and such a mirthless, hard, soulless laughter rang through the room that it almost made me faint to hear; it seemed like the pleasure of fiends. Then the Count turned, after looking at my face attentively, and said in a soft whisper:—

"Yes, I too can love; you yourselves can tell it from the past. Is it not so? Well, now I promise you that when I am done with him you shall kiss him at your will. Now go! go! I must awaken him, for there is work to be done."

Queer-coding? In my XIXth century monstrous villain? It’s more likely than you think!

"Are we to have nothing to-night?" said one of them, with a low laugh, as she pointed to the bag which he had thrown upon the floor, and which moved as though there were some living thing within it.

Oh oh.

Then the horror overcame me, and I sank down unconscious.

Jonathan would love 2024 Tumblr slang! He too was once overcome by The Horrors™!

I awoke in my own bed. If it be that I had not dreamt, the Count must have carried me here.

YIKES.

I am sure this diary would have been a mystery to him which he would not have brooked. He would have taken or destroyed it.

😭

As I look round this room, although it has been to me so full of fear, it is now a sort of sanctuary, for nothing can be more dreadful than those awful women, who were—who are—waiting to suck my blood.

Was this staged…? Was this entire assault staged as a fucked up manipulation tactic to get Jonathan to seek protection from the Count??? I need answers

< Prev 🦇

#dracula #dracula daily #jonathan harker #count dracula #dracula’s brides

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gumballavocadoharry · 2 days

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Estrangement (follow up) 1:

Posted. My new post to my blog 'Go Getter' was already finished and was sent in for the public to enjoy. My feet dangled slightly off the soft cushiony magenta swivel chair I had invested some money into. For comfort this good, especially when spending long grueling hours staring at a vivid screen, it's obligatory to have congeniality. I propelled myself up; stretching my aching back and ruffling my ombre hair that had a color of caramel tracing the ends, and my natural sandy brown that I darkened led more towards my roots.

I clenched my hands into fist before straightening them wide out as if I were falling from a building and my hands were spread, desperate to grab on to something. After stretching every muscle in my body from my protracted writing shift, I rambled downstairs for a cup of tea as a token for another post well done.

The kettle bubbled as I waited patiently in my favorite living room chair, that rocked back and forth and had the coziest backing to it. It wasn't until my phone started ringing loud enough to startle me half dazed that my eyes vaulted open and darted themselves to my telephone. I purposely waited until the answer machine came on and the caller would be revealed.

"Hey Kaitlin....it's yn, your mom. I was just checking up to see how you were doing and if you're alright," Her voice ricocheted with unease, culpability and inquisitiveness. "It's been 3 years since we've last seen you and.....oh well it's just a mother's intuition. Maybe I'll see you around...bye." Click!

I tortured myself, making myself bitterly fatigued in holding back an eye roll that I fruitlessly achieved. "Mother's intuition?" I pondered loudly. Ha! What a joke! I don't need a mother like her....I don't need a mother at all anymore...like I ever had one. How did she even get my number? The thought of my mom having my home number in the first place was beastly. Afterall, I meant it when I promised I wouldn't see them again. The hissing of the kettle interrupted my deep engrossment in how in the world mom even knew someone who had my number. I quickly turned off the stove, and raced back into the living room to call and have my number changed again.

Chances are, if mom has it....so does dad, and that was a BIG NO-NO.

I sighed a sigh of relief when my number was changed. I spent the next hour texting everyone important my new number, but it was worth it. Only then did I feel alleviate enough to enjoy my hot tea....that I heated in the microwave. I plopped the black tea bag into my vehemently hot water filled mug and watched it bleed through as the water sizzled it in. I scooped in a couple sugars before sauntering in my kitchen nook. I couldn't quiver the tragic thought of myself reconnecting with my family, or should I say parental units. I contemplate on my siblings from time to time, especially Kira. She should be 10 years by now, in fifth grade with her favorite baby blue and yellow backpack with the anime faced crescent moon.

Maybe Kameron and Kristopher are famous or established athletes, Kimberly has her academics, so that lands her as a teacher or professor possibly, Kylie loves art so maybe a painter for her....so that just leaves mom and dad. I haven't heard much particulars on any of them, but I finally came to terms that it was requisite with all the calamity that I had escaped at the hands of my parents. I accepted that they were living their lives with acclimatization of me being a couple miles away, and that I myself have finally become the same with my own; even to the point of adding an addition to my 'world of fun'.

Angus. He was a couple feet taller, standing lanky with black messy hair that was occasionally brushed into a shaggy mop cut, where his bags flowed neatly above his eyebrows. His piercing grayish blue eyes would confine my hazel ones, daring as to not look to his mauvelous tiny kitty lips. Adrenaline drumed the more my mind would recapture the moments I had with him over the summer, a few short story posts that were marginally mirrored off him. I could die with his bulky arms wrapped around my waist and my head pillowing his shoulder blade. A goliath to me, but a gentle giant that would run through hail and fire just to see my face or to hear about my derisory day on the computer.

I beat myself to a pulp if I feel like I'm not giving my half of the invisible agreement to Angus because of my loveless background. He's the first person besides Kira who showed me an authentic side of life....one filled with laughter that causes your sides to ache, that makes your cheeks sting whenever he smiles at you, holding flowers or a new teddy bear behind his back like fingers crossed and one that makes you burn an internal promise to cherish every waking moment with him like it's the last time you'll ever see his smile, or his laugh or his heart.

I had finished my tea faster than anticipated. That was it? I thought before taking the cup to the sink and pressing my back to it. Sunlight gashed my back with it's florid rays, as it was indeed powerful enough to sneak around the daisy patterned sink curtains I had hanging up, and flash me with it's thick amber radiance. I licked my lips before draggin my bare feet across my hardwood upstairs to my bedroom. Maybe I needed answers, maybe I needed closure. The thought came as a shrug to me, like if someone shrugged their shoulders in an unsure manner like they couldn't be certain of the consequences that follow. I flopped in my swivel chair and conducted a internet investigation of my own, looking up every members name and what their profile was connected with.

Kimberly was now engaged to someone named Pete and as theory, she worked as a professor in "Limbgere's instutite of learning." Kylie was an art curator, studying to become an established artist, Kristopher was a sports doctor; inspired by basketball injury that took him out for the season, he decided to take his course in medicine, and Kameron was a professional soccer player. Kira, being the youngest was still in school and mom and dad.....dad still worked as a professor and mom was the typical homemaker like she was when I left home.

I swallowed a little stupefy as to how much of everyone's life was left from me. It was my decision of course, no one else's but mine. But I guess it still pierced that everyone seemed to forget about me so easily. Kimberly's engaged and I had no idea, so I guess it's no surprise the aftershock started kicking in. I mean I'm sure they've seen my Instagram posts; boyfriend posts, awards I've won for bestselling blogger. And my short stories that have won special achievements. In fact....Kristopher follows me. I only noticed this a few months back despite him being one my loyal followers for years. So it perturbed me on his silence. He was one of the ones I could bear my heart out when I reached a breaking point, and he returned it with chill hug and "You'll get through this."

My unsettled thoughts began to make me feel queasy. I wanted to scream, cry and swear at the top of my lungs, cursing everyone down to the big white house and my medium sized bedroom that I haven't even dreamed of in 3 years and 30 blocks away on the other side of town.

Ding! My melodramatic rumination was intervened with an email.

Dear Kaitlin,

You are invited to the 55th annual publisher awards this Friday! You have been nominated for 'Best short story' and 'Best blogger/ Writer!' We hope to see you there! Congratulations!

Sincerely,

The Publisher Foundation

A lump that was sheltering in my throat was finally released with a excited exclaim. Hair, makeup, nails, dresses all ran through my mind anticipatory. I couldn't believe I was nominated and let alone invited! This was a highly exquisite ceremony and words couldn't express my gratitude for such an acknowledgement!

Angus, being the first person I shared this invigorating broadcast with, took a delightful share in the rousing engagement I had. "Kaitlin, I've gotta rent a tux and arrange a special dinner for afterwards," My cheeks turned a deep crimson at the thought of being completely spoiled on the night of a special ceremony, that had already taken dominance in my mind. "Aw Angus, you don't have to do that,"

"I wanted to. After all, you've done so much and I need to make it up to you. Especially with this job that's been taking up too much of my life." Angus had inquired a job that he was planning to retire from due to the harsh elongate work and the smothering of the periods it occupies during the week. Angus would come to my house with achy numb fingers and languid shoulders that led his back into a slump. I was glad he was going to quit this nugatory job, as it was killing him in front of his very eyes.

After our conversation, I immediately arranged for fancy dress and heels that would match the jewelry I would adorn myself in. I laid out the prepossessing ocean blue ombre dress on my bed, admiring the painting like cloth that I would be wearing in a couple days. The realization sent a exciting chill through my spine. I could picture it; rouge colored lipstick, silver diamond earrings with a matching bracelet and silver heels. And of course my hair was to be styled in a beach wave bun with a french braid trailing itself around my head.

It was all set. I was officially ready.

I had just put the finishing touches on my eyelashes. I curled the fake hair into the perfect curve, that brought extrinsic to the silver and blue mixed eyeshadow and black velvet eyeliner to my hazel eyes. My heels clicked modishly against ligneous pavement that was a straight path to the bedroom door, that would lead me down the stairs to open the door for my escort. "Hello Angus," I greeted him, sashaying my hips as if to bring heed to how my body hugged the dress and how I modestly glistened to his appeal. "You look stunning! That color...." Angus was tongue-tied in his astonishment. "You're gorgeous." He simply stated, in a matter of fact like there was no question about it.

I returned his plaudits, and allowed our arms to twine together as we walked to Angus's silver van and drove off the ceremony. The dem yet bright lights were what flashed my eyes first besides the cameramen flashing their cameras towards the upcomers who were all competing for the special achievements being given tonight. I took a few pictures, did a couple interviews before finding my seat and joining Angus in sitting down for a little while.

Although, it bored me to death seeing everyone mingle, and a few attendees had asked to meet me, so I excused myself from my boyfriend and joined in the chatter before the show. "Kaitlin, you look rather beautiful tonight," Tiffany, the girl who owns the fashion blog who I occasionally allied with was looking stunning in her sparkly cream gown that she donned a matching shaw with. Although despite her formosity flashy dress, her strawberry red lipstick is what I noticed first besides her dangling diamond earrings. "I should say the same for you too Tiff! That shaw and those earrings!"

Even through her thick blush, I could see her beaming flattery cast itself beyond the artificial makeup. While glancing over her shoulder, I noticed familiar green eyes revert themselves in my direction before turning away. It shook me. I remembered those eyes, emerald colored ones that garmented brumal distant looks, and repugnant stares. Manly eyes that only one person I knew could wear so boldly around me.

Dad.

My sandpapered throat swallowed only drops of my internal distress. I couldn't bare to be in a room with that man despite my earlier curiosities. The minute Tiffany turned her attention to another guest, I darted as far away from that area in the large auditorium hall as possible. My heart banged loudly, as the thought of such nightmares could return to me on my night. How did he get here? Why is he here? How, just how? I didn't think this could get worse but.....on my luck, anything was possible right? "Kaitlin?" I turned to see Kameron standing there in awe before he raced to me and embraced me into his much thicker arms than when I had last seen him. "It's been so long."

I hugged back, looking over his shoulder and seeing Kim and Kylie following shortly behind and....Kira. The little girl who saved my life. Tear bubbled over as I greeted my siblings with tight hugs. "Katie!" Kira wrapped her little arms around my neck that I returned feeling fondness growing thickly in the form of of lump in my throat. "Kristopher's with mom and dad." That icy feeling hit again. It pinged hard enough to arouse vigilant protection on myself and Angus. "They're here?"

"Yeah, remember? Dad always had been a part of the publishing foundation because he would offer books and other important reading material to them." I hit my forehead with my hand mentally. That's why! I remember coming here faintly because of his connections to the program and with other professors of the publishing foundation!

"Oh right!" "Look how much times have changed, now you're here and you're nominated for two awards!" Kylie added. "She is?"I turned around to be met with those green glacial eyes again. Some things never change. Dad looked stunned and dumbfounded as him and Kristopher walked side by side to the rest of the group. I nodded almost bombastic. "Yep, they nominated me for best blog and best writer and blogger."

"That's amazing!" Mom had now showed up to this family reunion. "You deserve it." I swallowed pride and thanked my mother for her guilty compliment. Things hadn't changed. "You look so beautiful honey, I didn't know you added ombre to your hair. How's things been going?"

I flinched a little when she said "honey." "Oh very well thank you, you?" "It's been good. You know Kimberly's getting married and Kira is on her last year of elementary." I smiled wide of Kira. She has come so far and I couldn't be more proud of the little girl who I had to bitterly say goodbye to.

"That's great! Congratulations both of you!" I pretended to not have cyber stalked them. "Who's Angus?" Kristopher brought up. Of course he would know, as he became friendly with my Instagram over the course I've been running it. My parents head perked like a they had just seen a mysterious flash. I cleared my throat of a chagrin position. "Angus, he's a friend...my boyfriend." I don't understand why I mentioned that last part. Maybe a piece of me wanted to give a small insight to my life to the outsiders looking in. "Well that's great, is he here?" I kicked myself internally, regret was already sinking in and drowning me. "Yeah, but I think he's in the bathroom." I patted myself for my competent lie.

"Alright ladies and gentleman, let's get started." I heard the announcer say. I trollied to my seat that was next door to Angus, who was sipping champagne. "Tonight is the night of the Internet awards, where we celebrate bloggers and writers who gift us with wonderful content on their personal websites or a public one that's filled with tons of other writers. So tonight we honor these ones with awards. You've voted and so now we will tell the winners of our favorite writers."

My stomach did leaps as I thought about the awards. How shiny they looked, how sophisticated the design looked and how well it would display itself on my office shelf. I glimpsed over to my father who was also anticipating the ceremony. It would be preconception of me to think my father didn't deserve such achievement for his life's work. After all, the last time I stepped foot into the college he labored at, his speech and assignments to the students were exceptional. His precision and timeliness were astonishing. The high society professors cavalier whenever dad's speeches ring through their connections.

But without downgrading myself, I at least tried to be good writer. I don't know exactly how dad felt about me being nominated or being blogger in the first place, but that doesn't change anything. I swallowed my abhorrent thoughts and put on a number one smile for the show.

The announcer announced the nominees and then the winners; show going on faster than expected. It only picked up when dad was invited on stage to give a speech.

"I know tonight is very important, we're all dressed fancy for this special evening. Writers are what make the world and blah blah blah," I tuned him out and just sipped my champagne. I got up to use the bathroom, and as I stood up, my father's eyes met with mine. Those icy ones had now turned into hesitance and downhearted. Almost scared with my reaction to the turned tables. But I was simply excusing myself to the lavatory on an unbiased notice. I looked in the mirror, staring hard at myself with candid orbs. My eyes; fresh, my smile; unalloyed, my face.....guiltless. I didn't have to hide behind a facade of a sugary persona to be accepted again or to dismiss everything that's happened in my life.

I put on a more aplomb face and goose stomped myself out to my chair. Good job lieutenant.

Dadhad finished his speech and excused himself to his seat. I shifted my eyes quickly to the man who had tormented me for all my life, to see him shift his attention to me. He gave way to puppy dog eyes that hinged on predicted disappointment from my 'shallow' escape to the bathroom. I reverted my eyes back to the stage and continued my attention there until they would announce my category. "The nominees for best short story are, Maya Tutwell, Kaitlin Styles, Ruby Hoffman, Lance Griffin and Parker Deseto," Hepulled the ticket out of the envelope.

"Kaitlin Styles!" A hyper amount of adrenaline raced through my body like electric bolts. I zipped on stage, not caring that my dress was trying to introduce my cleavage to the audience, although I did adjust myself before turning to the crowd.

"Thank you all so much! I would never be here on this stage if it wasn't for any of you. When I first wrote this story, I had just moved a couple miles away from home, into a new apartment and I had just started my job as a blogger and I had no idea it would lead to this. The story was inspiration off of a personal experience in life and in love and it was difficult for me to convey at first. But I did it and I published it into the story you all know now. I wanna thank my boyfriend Angus for his limitless support and adoration, my friends and fans who made this possible for me tonight. Thank you, I love you so much!" I wiped the faint mascara tears and watched as I stood beyond the crowd, yet a second time since my graduation. I could see Angus who was clapping and whistling with immense pride, a few friends who clapped the loudest among the thousands of crowd goers and my family who clapped with confusion and botheration. Except for my siblings who were delighted at my second wind.

Mom tried to stand for a ovation but, It wasn't necessary....so I exited the stage with that thought. I didn't win best blogger, but I didn't care. I won something and that was enough for me. Angus kept continually kissing my cheek as we left. I had my new beautiful trophy in my hand as I walked arm in arm with my guy. In the corner of my eye, I saw my dad headed my way.

He approached me before I could take an escape route to Angus's car. "Hey Katie," I slightly narrowed my eyes to dads. I looked at him distrustful of what he was planning and I knew he could sense that. "Could I talk to you for a minute?" I signaled for Angus to excuse himself, as he took the award and ventured to the car. I turned my attention back to dad. I raised an eyebrow to signal to for him to explain what was the reason he pulled me aside. "Kaitlin, first I wanna congratulate you on winning best short story tonight....I'm very proud of you."

I nodded, just pondering on where this conversation was going. "Look, I won't be coy in the way I was when I last saw you. I know you hate that, especially from me. I miss you, your mom misses you, we all do. It's so painful to know that when you left, you wanted nothing to do with this family, and you changed your number, we didn't know where you lived and it's been years since we've last spoken. But that's not what I wanted for us, to end on such a grim note. It hurt to see you have a boyfriend, be in a successful career and just accomplish so many things, without us being there to see it all. I mean we are all proud but.....we just miss you. We love you Kaitlin and......could you ever find it in your heart to forgive us for everything so we can be a complete family again?"

I looked down. "If I'm being honest, I don't know. What you and mom did was disgusting and no one should be treated with such repugnance. I mean the only reason you say that is because I made a name for myself without the credit of your professor status, without Kameron's soccer career, without anyone's help and maybe that's a kick in the shins to your pride. No, I don't regret not speaking with you or mom. Maybe everyone else, but not you. Mom called only a couple weeks ago with the same speech of how she misses me and all that except I didn't pick up the phone, I let it go to voicemail before changing my number without any closure of how she got a hold of it in the first place. And besides, you have your children, Kylie, Kameron, Kristopher, Kimberly and Kira with all their successes. Why should I be the missing puzzle piece? My life is complete."

I could tell that last sentence shook dad, hard. His eyes welled up with tears that broke into an out loud sob. "I'm sorry, Katie, I didn't mean to hurt you. Why didn't you tell us before?" I squinted my eyes at dad before huffly walking off. But not before turning around and saying: "You figure it out. You've got your whole life." And then I joined Angus in the car.

Part 2???????

(Ha, I'll do it anyway!)

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