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aetheternity · 3 years

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Sight, smell, touch, taste, sound and which one I believe would draw the Aot girls to you. Kinda Modern Au 🤷‍♀️ idk you be the judge.

(Pov: none of you asked for this but I got bored and decided to give it to you anyway.)

Mikasa

~Touch

The first time you touched her it was to pat her shoulder and tell her, "good luck" on a mission and she's been riding that high til the day she finally had you.

She was already so infatuated by you to the point that every bit of your touch became a daily necessity.

Locking you into her tight hugs late at night.

Pulling your lips back into hers whenever you try to escape.

She'll give you tiny kisses spread all over your face as soon as you wake up. And she's a huge fan of eskimo kisses. You might even trigger a little giggle from her when you initiate them.

She wants to rest her head on your chest and fall asleep to your heartbeat.

She's got your fingers perfectly knotted with hers in every situation.

Tangles your legs when the two of you are resting on the couch.

"I have to get up sometime Mikasa." Not today you don't.

Her favorite spot to scratch is your lower back. She softly circles her nails over that bit of skin after hiking your shirt up.

Please let her spend the day with you in her lap it's the perfect amount of intimate for her.

Annie

~Touch/Sound

One day you came to her with concern filling your eyes and hugged her even though you never had before. You simply told her, "I feel like something's wrong but I won't pry. Just know I'll be waiting for you to come back to me." So softly in her ear and despite her push back at first her feelings for you grew stronger everyday.

She grew to adore the smallest things about you.

The sounds of your low morning yawns before you kiss her face.

The warmth of your knee resting between her thighs

Loves when you whine her name. It sends heat flowing through her entire body. "What do you want?" (She'll pretend she hates it tho.)

Whenever you two are alone she has her head firmly placed on your chest, falling asleep to your heartbeat. Just like Mikasa (No you do not have to pee lay back down)

Loves when you card your fingers through her untied hair. (Sometimes you make her hum when you scratch the back of her head just right.)

She's gotta have your hands when you two are cuddling. Holding you like she's scared you're not really there.

Whisper in her ear and she just might shiver for you.

Laugh when she's sarcastic and watch the pretty pink color dust over her cheeks.

Tells you she loves you under her breath and melts when you say it back after kissing her cheek or neck.

Sasha

~(Sweet angel 🥺) Touch/taste

She held your hand like she'd always done with you and asked what you'd want your last meal in the world to be. Fucking around you said, "You." And the girl practically burst into flame. Meanwhile Connie at the opposite end of the table is mocking y'all talking about some, "Get a room already!" And then you did 😏

Oh, you just had some candy? She's biting your lips and sucking on your tongue.

Oh, your shampoo/body wash smells like banana, coconut, strawberries etc? She's got her face in your neck giving you little kisses. (Sometimes she'll give you a little kitten lick but it's fine cause you love it 😃).

She likes mutual feeding (ik that sounds weird idk how else to put it.) Like if you guys are eating popcorn together while watching a movie, she likes when you place the popcorn in her mouth and she does the same for you.

Licks the butter off your fingers when the popcorns gone.

When you stretch your arms next to her and then proceed to wrap them around her neck or waist she's in heaven.

Adores the feeling of your fingers splayed over her stomach right after she finished eating and the way you tease her by stroking her inner thigh.

Randomly jumps in the shower with you so that she can run her hands up and down every inch of your skin.

Sometimes she wakes you with a bunch of forehead kisses.

"Five more minutes please.." You beg

If you wake up before her though she'd love to be wrapped in your arms as she eats breakfast.

Hitch

~Sight (y'all already know my baby's a lil shallow)

It was like a movie scene. She saw you across the room during a small party for the anniversary of the military police first debut and she just had to have you. And bug you.. she stayed by your side as often as possible after that.

She'll laugh so that her compliments on your body sound less genuine but she means it every time.

And when you're not looking she's got her lip between her teeth, eyes working up and down your body.

"I wanna see you in this honestly." She'll say late at night handing you a picture and covering her face as you look at it.

"Reminds me of your pink dress?"

"Yeah! Yes.. that's the point we'll match."

Doesn't matter how long you've been dating. She'll always build a little tension before every kiss by looking directly at your lips then back into your eyes with a little smirk.

Whistles when you wear an outfit she recommended.

She never straight up says it but her favorite part of your body is the part you like the least.

Backwards ass compliments.

"You know orange isn't normally your color but today you made it work." And "You seem really confident despite wearing those pants."

Don't worry it's how she shows affection.

Makes you blush as often as possible because she just can't get enough of how gorgeous you are when you do.

Pieck

~Sight/taste

From the second she saw you she knew she had to get you out of your little bubble. You'd both done the warrior training as kids and you always kept to yourself. She thought a person like you looked like you had a lot of secrets. And she was gonna learn as many as possible. The older you guys got the more attractive you became to each other and you kinda fell back into the nervousness she thought she'd driven out of you. Eventually she got you to accidentally blurt a confession. Next thing you knew her tongue was pulling all conscious thought out of you.

Idk Pieck gives me the vibes that she'd always be looking for a way to stick her tongue down your throat?? (Just me?? Alright..)

She'll twirl you around with a hand around your waist. Unabashedly checking you out.

Loves long sweet kisses while she rests between your legs.

Will never stop smiling at you when you exit the shower in only a towel.

Brushes her lips over your stomach to wake you.

She's so enamored by the twinkle in your eye when you talk with the younger generation of warriors.

Playfully suggests you just walk around the house completely naked so she can really appreciate your body.

Her heart one hundred percent drops when she sees you sad for even a second.

Let her kiss you wherever she wants! It's a lot easier than arguing with her!

And she will try in some weird places. (She gives me body worshipper vibes.)

Yelena

~Sound

She heard about you due to rumors about your incredible fighting style. But what made her seek you out was the knowledge that you were next in line to become a titan shifter. It was hard to tell if her affection was due to interest in you as a person or your incredible fighting style but one day she asked you to live with her in the new world. Of course you said yes.

She loves the sound of you singing. (If you can sing) Sometimes she actively seeks you out and asks for you to sing to her.

Your war cries make her back arch (shh I didn't say that).

The second you guys started dating she developed a sixth sense of some sort where she just shows up if you're crying or if your day has been going terrible.

She just adores the sound of your voice and she can't get enough of it.

I could see her dragging you off some place where the two of you can just talk.

Within less than a week of dating you she's already got ways to get any noise she wants out of you.

Graze their neck with the tip of your nose for giggles and kiss the tips of their ears for I love you's.

That sort of thing.

Whenever you make a noise she hasn't heard before she's dying to force you to make it again.

Idk what it's called but I feel like Yelena has that thing where noises are attributed to colors in her brain. And at some point she explains all the colors she sees whenever you make certain noises.

Hange

~Sight/touch

Moblit had to take a.. short vacation after one of Hange's lab disasters nearly crippled him.. so Erwin had asked you to fill in and you said yes. It was only for a couple weeks and during that time Hange stuck to you like glue. Throwing an arm over your shoulder, stealing little glances and laughing loudly when you'd catch her. It felt like normal Hange stuff. But on the last night before Moblit's return, Hange was weirdly not.. Hange.. being quiet, filling in data and barely making eye contact. You asked if you'd done something wrong but Hange barely said anything back. Before you left she was nose deep in paperwork. You said your goodbyes and you were about to leave when Hange asked if you'd be willing to go on a date. When you looked back she hadn't even looked up but you smiled and nodded with a little yes and the rest was history.

It's a no brainer that you spent all your free time in Hange's lab to be Hange's other support system other than Moblit.

And when Moblit died, Hange's entire support system.

Her touch lingering on your lower back as you lean over to check her notes.

Completely enamored with the glint in your eye whenever the two of you come up with a sort of breakthrough.

Deadass pulls you into her lap at the most random times.

Oh hey the meeting finally finished? Yanks your frame right into her lap and laughs at the eye rolling of fellow colleagues.

Hange will say sorry but that blush on your face was so worth it and she's so glad she did it.

Rubs your back as you sleep on the work piled on your side of the desk.

Probably accidentally wakes you up a couple minutes after you fell asleep though.

Hange once sat you on her lap after a meeting right before Erwin tried to hand her some papers over the table. Without thinking she stood up to grab them and your face slammed into the table while her hips were pressed against your ass. Immediately getting everyone's attention. Safe to say you no longer sit next to Hange at meetings. (I had to add this even though it's a little off topic and random.)

Historia

~Smell (First one here.)

She had to share a room with you until she became queen. And almost every night she'd have some kind of nightmare about Ymir. You didn't mean to make a move but one night she crawled into your bed like she always had and you wrapped your arms around her shivering form like you always did. She had her nose trapped in your nape and you pressed a kiss to her forehead hoping it would stop her harsh breathing. And it did. She froze, the world froze, everything froze. You had leaned back to apologize for overstepping her boundaries and she kissed you back.

She'd gotten so comfortable with your scent that not only did it constantly lull her to sleep but always gave her a sense of security.

You're her security blanket. I don't make the rules.

Speaking of blankets. You gave her yours when she moved into the castle.

Whenever she gets even an hour alone she's trying to get you in the castle so she can sit in your lap and bury her nose in your nape like she always has.

She also steals your shirts and hoodies as often as possible until they smell like her then you have to take them back and cover them with your stink again.

Spending early mornings in the castle after washing your hair and her telling you over and over that she missed your smell.

It's legit like having a long distance relationship while being in the same place.

And she doesn't let you go until the last second before you both have to go back to work.

If you guys have time and you shop together she'll keep the candles that you believed smelled the best in her room.

All in all give Historia your shirts to wear cause she loves them/they look great on her.

Ymir

~Sight/touch

You're probably either super sweet like Krista or really sarcastic like her and that's what draws her to look more in depth into you. When she finally gets a chance to actually look at you fully without the odm gear she finds herself fixated, tracing your figure with her eyes. You guys finally become friends, who mutually enjoy bullying Reiner. But she finds that she hates it. Thinks you're teasing her every time you brush her fingertips without actually holding her dammed hand. One day she just reaches out and grabs you properly and doesn't let go. Yeah, you're dating now.

What can I say except, she likes running a finger over the lines on your palm.

She's always grabbing you out of nowhere but you don't mind. You just let her hold you.

"You look extra beautiful today, bet you'll look even better when I put a ring on your finger."

Puts her hands under your shirt with no fucking shame.

Stares at you and yells at the first person that mocks her. Reiner/Connie

Can and will find a way to smack your ass the second she gets you alone.

Trails little butterfly kisses over your shoulders when you're trying to get dressed in the morning.

Literally everything you do is weirdly skillful to her.

Like you're peeling a potato and she's like, "You're so amazing at that.."

Let her lean on you for absolutely no reason she loves it. 🤷‍♀️

(I realized after writing this that Annie and Armin have the same one even tho I don't ship them at all 😕)

#aot x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #snk x reader #aot imagines #mikasa x reader #annie leonhardt x reader #sasha x reader #hitch x reader #hange x reader #pieck x reader #yelena x reader #historia x reader #ymir x reader #cal writes

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it-sy-bit-sy · 3 years

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The ending of Attack on Titan: a shallow analysis

(I don't think I should have to put a spoilers alert on a blog about the ENDING OF AOT, but in general if you mind being spoiled on a series, I advise you to refrain from attending discussions about the body of work until you've finished it in its entirety/come up to speed on the current chapter/episode. Screw hype dude, do you like being hurt? Also for the TLDR, it’s that Attack on Titan explores the cycle of hatred (Eren’s journey) AND love which is why Mikasa and Ymir become relevant at the end of the story.)

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PREFACE

Since the newly added panels of AOT’s ending have been likened by some to the ending of Naruto, I'd like to say that Naruto's end truly hurt me; the way it flows into Boruto is so contrived it burns. A story that's always centered around powerful ninja bloodlines fighting political wars suddenly introduced aliens that harvest planets for energy as the super antagonist, and additionally they're the source of all our characters' powers as well as the jinchuriki and tailed beasts themselves. Then when you look at the plot of Boruto which heavily relies on the Otsutsuki clan as an antagonistic force, their whole existence feels like the transition from Dragon Ball straight into the first DBZ arc with Goku learning he’s really part of an alien race that was meant to destroy Earth.

I didn't detect so forced a role in the ending of AOT, but it's absolutely plausible to speculate that the alternate ending was influenced for this reason, as we know Attack on Titan wasn't produced through Isayama's involvement alone. Certain compromises are made when operating as a team, though it would be wonderful if the original intent of authors were more absolute in the world of production than they are known to be.

And as much as I don't enjoy half-hearted continuations of series for a royalty check, I ALMOST can't blame them for doing it...it creates (many) happy fans, more jobs, and Isayama gets his royalty check. The rest of us suffer but hey, artists need money I guess... 🥀 Moving on. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#1. Eren's development as a character

I never saw Eren's goal steered in the direction of breaking the cycle of revenge or hatred. He was acting wholly in his own interests. He's intensely selfish, doesn't want to change his views, and exists in the story to further the cycle itself. According to me, Chapters 129 and 131 perfectly explain his motivations for the rumbling.

Now before I go on, I'd like to bring a particular scene to mind. I do remember him saying this once (to Historia who had just told him killing the rest of the world is unjustifiable and wrong):

Yes, he said that, but I don't think that is what he ever intended the rumbling to be used for.

After he stated that 80% of humanity was wiped out so Paradis will be safe for the time being, he neglected to answer Armin's questions in 139: "Did you really need to go that far? Are you sure you did all of this for our sakes?" We may also consider the thoughts he chose NOT to share in chapter 131:

That combined with this excerpt from 129 is pretty much all there is to Eren's convictions.

Those are the same words he said in Chapter 2 after his mother died.

So despite his brief period of self-loathing when considering 1) the countless lives in survey corps sacrificed for his sake, 2) being confronted with his and his father's involvement in the Reiss family, 3) everything he learned about his enemy--that all titans are formerly human, that the titan shifters were just children deceived by their world--he even admits to Reiner during Tyburn's speech (Chapter 100) that they are indeed in the same boat--and on top of that, admitting that the rumbling will do nothing to fix the course of history, he settled with the same conviction he held the moment he decided to do something to change the world.

Again, here's his words from 139 showing us just how angry a boi Eren was.

This was Eren Jaeger...he didn't even really know what he was doing.

As a human being, Eren was very much in the cycle of revenge as much as everyone else was. His course of action never deviated too far from that path. He knew better, but he lashed out at the world to protect the few people he cared about anyway. He took freedom away from the ones who threatened him. He was a mass murderer, and so were the other soldiers in this series fighting for their own reasons, since titans were people. Survey corps were always slaughtering these people whom they saw as monsters. Marley viewed Eldians as monstrously and with as much hatred as Eldians viewed the titans. Eren did not try to justify his actions to everyone. He simply stopped seeing the value of life in others not important to him, as humans often do.

So what did he sacrifice 80% of humanity for? From 129 again:

Them meaning his immediate friends.

No, he didn't care about their children's children and beyond because there's no way to control what happens when you're gone from this world. It wasn't his problem. Eren had 4 years at most left to live, and he wanted to do what he could to ensure his friends were happy before he left.

And as jarring as it was to see Eren become undone in the last chapter, I didn't find it completely out of character, because for one he was talking to his closest friend moments before his own death, and secondly, Eren was just a stupid human like the rest of the people in this series. Obviously, most people just want a normal life that they can spend with people whom they love. Eren was the same way, but was denied that future (and happened to be able to do something about it). Very selfish goals, but those chosen few were his world. Along with a general distaste for humanity, that's how I understand his character motivations.

*Which is to say in relation to the extra pages, Ymir's curse returning a generation or two after the events of AOT doesn't entirely void his actions. I’m assuming the power of Ymir apparently exists as a force of nature on this version of Earth period, so I suppose this points us to an endless cycle of humans eventually finding the power and using it as they see fit *

#2 Why is Romance Relevant to Attack on Titan?

I wasn't expecting a romance factor to be relevant at the end of the story, however considering that Mikasa's affection for Eren WAS her most prominent personality trait as a character, then the events that followed, I was forced to look back to a few moments in the series that could lend light to why, in the end, a romantic subplot ended the curse of Ymir. My conclusions are as follows:

1. Quite literally, the cycle of hatred never ends. Humans will always have a reason to be unkind to one another. We are animals after all; this trait cannot be reasoned through with logic, bred out, or defeated. We are a self-aware species (Eren's even aware of his own hypocrisy in Chapter 131). There will always arise those who take what they want for themselves because they decide in the end they don't care about others as much as they care about their own interests.

2. To make this second point, I'm stealing these words out of a certain machine lifeform's mouth, but bear with me here:

"But the humans...? Now THEY are interesting. Because they are an enigma! They killed uncountable numbers of their own kind, yet loved in equal measure! It's fascinating, don't you think? What could possibly drive such behavior? We have dedicated ourselves to unraveling this riddle of humanity..."

--Adam from NieR:Automata

AOT uses Eren and Mikasa as a case study of humanity. Humans hate and love in equal measure.

In Ch. 129, Zeke's piece here foreshadows the significance of those two for the story, I guess?

Now everyone reading this series as well as the characters in it had noticed how much fondness Mikasa always had for Eren, and how aloof he always was towards her in return...that's something for them to work out.

Despite never really reciprocating Mikasa's feelings, Eren told Armin at the end of the series that yes, he enjoyed receiving her attention; he would have liked to live a happy life with her. So, Mikasa just liked Eren, Eren liked her... And similar to Mikasa, Ymir just liked King Fritz. It doesn't matter whether we think these feelings were sound or not; they did what they wanted with themselves. I suppose that explains the reason she was a mega simp for Eren in the whole story. Yes, this turn in the story reads like a different plot now, not one about war and killing monsters, but I'm pleasantly surprised that this trait taken as a flaw of Mikasa’s actually served as a necessary condition to end the conflict of the titans.

Eren wouldn't let go of his hatred of the world for his own satisfaction, Ymir wouldn't let go of her love of King Fritz for her own satisfaction, and Mikasa is the only one who decided to let go of her convictions in the interest of someone other than herself. That's what moved the curse.

I think Isayama used the characters of Ymir and Mikasa to demonstrate that while there is a cycle of hatred and revenge running rampant in humanity, the cycle of love doesn't stop either.

In closing, and I truly apologize for such a lengthy post; I hope I didn’t reiterate my point too often here...I didn't think about any of this until I heard so many readers upset with the way AOT ended. I'm not personally left with any disappointment in where the story went. I didn't know where it was going to go in the first place, and I think it could have been much worse for us in different hands.

*shrugs*

AOT is a story about the nature of humanity.

*And in regards to Jean, if that is supposed to be him with Mikasa in the new panels, all I can say is dude likes his girl. He was a simp for her and she was a simp for Eren, but the fact that they shared their lives together means a lot even if Eren was never completely buried in her heart. He meant a lot to her man, idk...

#aot #attack on titan #eren jaeger #end of aot #boruto #adam nier automata #nier automata #mikasa ackerman #ymir fritz

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smoljamswrites · 4 years

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all is fair in love & war | bts x reader | chapter 4

pairing: bts x female reader

genre: mafia!au, series fic, angst, fluff, (eventual) smut

warnings for this chapter: abuse, fat levels of angst (but then there’s a fluffy part that’s then killed by more angst), swearing, degradation, mentions of stalking, y/n cries? is this a potential trigger, idk?

a/n: just an fyi, incase it isn’t clear, the italics in paragraphs are thoughts. Plus, I apologise if this chapter seems a little jumpy in terms of moving from scene to scene - but it’s just so I could get the story to progress quicker, so I can get into the real meat of it. Oh and I probably butchered the Korean street name system thingy so if you could excuse that, that’d be great. Thanks for reading and supporting this fic! I love you all!!

fic playlist is here x

Clutching at your hair, Sunny roughly drags you into the living room. To say she was livid would be an understatement. The anger darkened her eyes, her eyebrows furrowed, and jaw clenched as she brought you to a stop – right in front of Yunseo and some of the other members. She had phoned them when you begged her to not to tell anyone about the guy in the car, declaring you had a “contact within the outside world”. They had sent a car to pick you both up at that moment, and her hands haven’t left your hair since – gripping onto it so hard, making your eyes water.

Yunseo sits directly in the middle of the leather sofa, his crew of Syndicates placed strategically around the room. They’re expecting me to run…interesting. You’re pushed down onto the floor, your knees harshly colliding with the solid laminate.

Before you even lift your head to meet his eyes, Yunseo has already began to raise his voice. “Who was the guy, Y/N?!” his voice was filled with hatred, fires of fury smouldering his narrowed eyes. You look down onto the floor, shaking your head, not saying a word. Why the fuck would I tell them Jungkook’s name? They’re gonna have to try a lot harder than this, you muse.

A sinister chuckle escapes past Yunseo’s lips, and it makes your stomach churn. You know it isn’t long until they start getting violent, but that isn’t going to make you cave. Not yet. “Listen, we can do this the easy way – you tell me his name, how you know him and what was said between you two – or we can do this the hard way” at that Yunseo rises from his seat and the other members follow suit to loom over you.

You’re on your knees, head lifted to meet eyes with your intimidators. Your eyes wander to Juwon, and you find yourself surprised he isn’t playing with your hair or finding another way to place his grimy hands on you. A smirk toys on his lips, liking the way you look through your eyelashes at him, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Sick fucking bastard! Your blood is boiling; you are sick and tired of being treated like this. Like you’re just a possession to them. Adrenalin hits you, and it makes you feel alive. Your heart is beating so fast, you feel as if it going to fly straight out of your chest. Standing up, you notice for the second time this week you are feeling yourself getting brave.

“No. Why don’t you fucking listen to me? Fuck you! I hate all of you! Why didn’t you just kill me, huh? Kill me! Go on, I dare you!” the adrenalin is flowing through your blood, and it feels like you can’t control your limbs, which is why it is such a surprise to you as much as it is to your ‘superiors’ when you lay your hands on Juwon. Putting all the force you could muster; you use both hands to push at his figure. Due to Juwon not expecting this, he falls back, rage evident on his face as soon as he reaches the ground. Within the same millisecond, your body is dragged back by somebody else, arms restricted, and you don’t even wince when Yunseo’s fists come flying towards your face. You don’t know whether it’s the surge of adrenalin or if its because you’re used to the pain by now, but you just feel numb to his actions. Each punch, to both your face and body, sends signals to your brain that makes it feel like your internal organs should be bursting – but yet you don’t seem to feel a thing. It’s like you’re unconscious, but you can see everything that is happening. All you can feel is your heart beating loudly in your ears, and it’s almost deafening.

“Who the fuck was it, you dirty fucking slut?!” Yunseo’s spit flies at your face, amazingly faster than the blows.

It is at this moment, that your body realises what is happening. Your mind snaps back into reality and every hit sends a painful jolt through your body. Your face is soaked from the tears, and you’re screaming, finding it hard to hear your own screams over their harsh words. You need this done with, and you need it done with now.

“F-fine I’ll tell you! Just don’t hit me again, please!” you whimper out. The member who was propping up your body lets go, leaving your limp form to fall to the ground. You can hear snickers coming from around the room. They really think they’ve won, huh? Cute.

“I-I met him at ‘Angels’ and to be honest I don’t really know him. But for the past few days, he seemed really obsessed with me. When I saw h-him outside the shop, it creeped me out, I didn’t expect him to be there, and I lost my cool, I guess.” You begin, trying to simultaneously catch your breath, “I went up to his car and literally asked him why he was following me. And when he wouldn’t answer me, I called him a creep and left. That was when I saw Sunny there.”

They all hold the same look on their face – like they want to believe you but they’re not quite sure yet. Your throat feels on fire from all the screaming and crying, but you find it in you to continue, wanting to finish your web of lies perfectly, “I didn’t want to tell you because I see the way you hurt people, and he seemed like an ordinary guy, just too caught up in his own horny feelings and I didn’t want you to hurt him because of that. I guess I felt scared for him.”

The Sin Syndicate members all look towards their leader, awaiting their new order, and you do the same, praying that they believe your story. Yunseo scratches at his stubble on his jaw, seemingly deciding on his next step. He addresses the members first, not bothering to look in your direction, “We’ll keep an eye out for him – Sunny you know what he looks like right? Perfect.” And then he spares a glance at you, “As for you, get to bed, I don’t want to see you right now.”

Your legs shake and your whole body feels extremely sore. Clutching at your own waist, as if you were stopping your intestines from falling out, you drag yourself to your room. You flop down onto your bed, head pounding. Yet all you can think about is Jungkook’s safety – what will happen if they find him? God I shouldn’t even care about him, he’s a fucking stalker! But yet you still reach into your drawer fifteen minutes later to retrieve your phone, deciding on warning Jungkook.

Fuck. Your phone shows you that you have already had missed calls and many text messages from him. You move your thumb to press the correct button to get onto the messaging app, then instantly press again to pull up the conversation between you and Jungkook.

Jungkook: please don’t be mad! I can explain, I promise. It’s just not something that I can explain quickly x [19:26]

Jungkook: ‘You have missed calls from ‘Jungkook’ at 19:29 and 19:41. This is a free call alert.’

Jungkook: please don’t ignore me Y/N, it’s important that I know that you’re okay x [19:59]

Jungkook: ‘You have missed 3 calls from ‘Jungkook’. This is a free call alert’.

Jungkook: Just hear me out Y/N x [20:04]

You feel your heart fall to the pit of your stomach. You can tell Jungkook is worried about you and you hate that you made him concerned. But you still need to think about his actions, following you around is not okay. You have every right to feel mad. It’s because of him that you just got the beating of your lifetime!

You: I don’t understand how you’re eager to give me answers all of a sudden, when earlier you wouldn’t give them me!? What’s changed now? Finally worked out an excuse? [20:13]

He messages back relatively fast, which draws your mind back to feeling guilty for worrying him. Oh God! I still have to warn him!

Jungkook: I get that you’re mad but not replying for almost an hour after I last seen you isn’t funny! You had me so fucking worried! I literally thought the worst, okay! I thought something had happened to you. WTF?! As for the answers you want (and deserve) I will give them you, I promise. All you gotta do is meet with me because I need to explain things face to face, it’s easier. The situation is too complicated for me to rush the explanation or to type it out on text x [20:15]

Leaving isn’t a problem. It’s the making sure Jungkook remains safe and that he isn’t seen by any Sin Syndicate member that’s the issue.

You: I’d be happy to meet you so I could finally know wtf is going on, but I don’t know how I’m going to be able to. [20:16]

You know that you have to go; this could be your opportunity to explain to him that he needs to be careful – maybe you could explain to him the full situation…can you trust him with that?

You: Okay so I have an idea. But for it to work, you gotta be able to work with me or this could end terribly, trust me! (I’ll explain later!) Make sure you are by your phone all day tomorrow, if you can, and when I have the chance to meet you, I’ll message you to let you know. I don’t know what time it will be but it will definitely be tomorrow because I really need to tell you something too! [20:18]

Jungkook: deal. x [20:18]

Not wanting to be the cause of his fretting again, you ensure to message him one last time before turning your phone off and getting some well-deserved sleep.

You: Goodnight x [20:19]

--------------------------------------------------------

You haven’t been able to concentrate all morning. You haven’t got a performance on main stage today, but you still had to show up for work, especially with what had happened the night before. So you’ve been preoccupying yourself with speaking to clients and helping the waiters and waitresses. There is no way you’ll be practicing today, let alone performing for everyone. Currently, you’re sat at the bar, swirling your tiny umbrella around in your glass.

Getting yourself out of bed this morning was a nightmare. As soon as you sat up and swung your legs over the side of the bed, it had sent an aching pain right through your entire being. Your head felt too heavy to carry from the offset, and all you wanted to do was to lie back down again. But you knew you couldn’t. If you wanted everything to go smoothly you knew you had to start moving.

You feel almost criminal – your phone being hidden in the fluffy slipper sock that your wearing, planning to sneak out for a while. The girls haven’t spoken to you yet, but they don’t miss the opportunity to send malicious glares in your direction. Not that you want them to speak to you; you know they hate you and the feeling is mutual. Just then someone places their hand on your back, and you jump at the feeling.

“Hey hey, what’s wrong? You’re all jumpy…is everything okay?” a familiar voice begins to calm your worries, and the way his comforting tone spills past his lips with ease sends a foreign sensation to your core. You move to meet his eyes, and a concerned look adorns his face.

“I’m fine Jin. Just got a lot on at the moment, I guess.” You decide to play it safe, considering you blurted out probably more than you should have done, the last time. But still, his evident worry doesn’t fade.

Taking a seat next to you at the bar, he ghosts his hand over yours- almost like he was deciding whether he should take your hand in his, but then chose against it. “Is there anything that I can help with?” You snap your head in his direction. Oh my god, what a fucking genius!

Your emotions must have shown on your face, because his brows drew together like he was wondering what you could be thinking about.

“Yes! Woah okay so,” you begin turning your body and bringing your hands together in excitement. Your voice instantly lowers as you speak again, “I need to meet a, well uhm-, a friend. But the problem is, I can’t leave. It’s super important that I meet with him today, so maybe, if you could help me that would be amazing! I’m thinking that you could wait half an hour or so, then request a private dance from me? And that way then they’ll think I’m preoccupied elsewhere, meaning that I could leave? What do you think?”

“Yeah sure, I’d be happy to help.”

---------------------------------------

Making yourself look busy with other clients for the next 30 minutes was harder than you had anticipated. You struggled to focus on the conversations you were having with them, as your mind kept flitting back to your previous chat with Seokjin.

God he’s a lifesaver! I seriously owe him one.

After what seemed like centuries, Yunseo calls your name. Making your way to him, you tried to look as sheepishly as possible, knowing it’d be best to make this stunt look believable. “Y-yes sir?” Nice! Make him think you’re scared after yesterday.

He doesn’t bother to speak for long, evidently pissed at your antics this week, “A gentleman has offered me a pretty large sum of money to book two back-to-back private dance slots with you. I’d be an idiot not to accept, so you’ll be in there for an hour. Keep him happy.” And with that he’s gone. You have to look at the floor to prevent anyone watching from seeing the smile forming on your lips.

Entering the same private dance room as last time, you quickly shut the door and squeal as you make your way over to where Jin is sitting.

“You are currently my favourite person ever! You’ve given me a whole hour! You’re the best seriously!” You know you look like an idiot because you just can’t stop smiling. You pull out your phone from the side of your sock and begin to text Jungkook.

You: Hey, I’m okay to leave now, but I must be back before half one x [12:33]

Bringing your attention back onto Jin, a sudden realisation hits you. “Shit! You’re gonna have to hide for an hour while I’m gone!” The smile is instantly wiped off your face, as you prepare yourself for an annoyed Seokjin. Yet, he doesn’t appear annoyed at all.

Shaking his head and continuing to smile, he stands up, “I know. Don’t worry! If you wanted, I could drive you to wherever you needed to go to meet your friend?” he goofily shakes his car keys and you giggle.

------------------------------

Sitting in the passenger seat of his car, you are speechless. This dude must be earning the big bucks if this is his own fucking Chevrolet Corvette! The shutting of Jin’s door brings you back to reality, “So where are we going?”

Oh right, duh. Removing your phone from your sock once more, you turn on the screen to read Jungkook’s message and position it so Jin can see.

Jungkook: okie dokie, do you know where the café is on Myeongnyun-ro? It’s only a few minutes away from Angels x [12:35]

“ahh right then, lets go!”

-----------------------------

Getting out the car and thanking Jin, you make your way towards the café door. Instantly you start fretting as Jungkook is nowhere to be seen. Sitting down at a booth, you begin to text him, but you’re interrupted by the door in front of you opening, making the little bell above it ding!

Jungkook walks through the door and you swear to God you stop breathing for a second. Your eyes trace his tall, well-built figure; from his chocolatey tousled hair down to his two-toned, bulky shoes. When his eyes meet yours, they instantly light up, and he moves his hand; gesturing for you to come over. As you get closer, the more nervous you feel. You notice the way he bites his bottom lip, and starts wringing his hands together, and that made you relax. He was just as nervous as you were. Reaching his figure, you took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. Your mind wanders to the night that you met, and a goofy smile overtakes your features.

“Hey, what drink would you like?” he says, nerves still evident in the way he spoke.

“You’re sounding like Mr. Persistent Bartender again” you giggle, proud of the way he visibly loosens up at the sound of your joke.

Jungkook lets out a chuckle, as he rolls his shoulders back, “Shut up, lemme buy you a drink” he whines. His voice cuts straight through your heart, sending warmth through your body. Yet you can’t let him give you another drink for free.

“No no it’s fine! I’m not thirsty. Don’t spend your money.” You reach to grab his arm, as he moves in direction of the employee standing at the till.

All your efforts go to waste when he shakes his head at you, dismissing your previous comment, “Hey, I’ll take a coffee and… she’ll have a hot chocolate.” You pull on his arm like a child and tell him you’re fine, but this only spurs him on further. A smirk sits on his lips as he continues, “and can the hot chocolate have whipped cream and marshmallows too please?” He looks down at your unimpressed face, and he coos ruffling your hair. God, you’re going to be the death of him!

“Would you like sprinkles too?” you hear the barista ask, but you’re too late to reject the sprinkles as Jungkook has already beaten you too it. And of course he says yes.

“That’ll be £7.85 please. And I must say, you guys are such a cute couple!” the barista gushes and you feel heat rise to your face. You peer over to Jungkook and see him giving her the money with the biggest smile on his face.

“Thanks! Keep the change.” Grabbing both of the drinks, Jungkook walks back to the booth, with you trailing behind him, embarrassed. You slide in the seat opposite him and he pushes the hot chocolate towards you. Sarcastically rolling your eyes, you move the cup towards your mouth to take a sip. It tasted so heavenly; you swear you could have orgasmed. Lifting your eyes from the cup to look at Jungkook, you see he’s already looking at you – and he’s looking at you expectantly.

“….what?”

“You first.” The two words sends you into a frenzy, reminding you of why you’re actually here. Fidgeting in your seat slightly, you remove eye contact as you think about how to tell him. Okay so you’re gonna have to never ever speak to me again because I don’t want you to die. So, it’s been nice knowing you! Thanks for the hot chocolate.

You cough, ensuring your voice still works before lowering your voice, “Okay so what I’m about to tell you is really serious. I’m not joking or lying or whatever. I really need you to believe me, okay? I’ve lied to you – I don’t live at a stupid dorm, and I don’t go to college. In fact, the only proper schooling I have ever had was only for 2 years and it stopped when I was like 5. And from then, ‘til the age of 11 I was home schooled, if you could even call it that.” You realise you’re rambling, and you quickly decide to get to the point, “I live with these people. They’re not really nice and they hurt people and sometimes they hurt me,” You don’t notice as you’re not looking at him, but Jungkook tenses at this admission. “they don’t let me have proper contact with anyone. And um- they saw you speaking to me yesterday. Well, Sunny did, and she told the others, and I’m so fucking sorry but they’re looking for you now. And well, I need you to delete my number, stop talking to me, and forget about me forever just so I know that you’ll be safe-“

Your little speech is cut off by a giggle, and your eyes dart up, finally, to meet his. Why the fuck does he find this funny? Does he think I’m joking? Furrowing your eyebrows together, your whispering voice harshens, “Guk, I’m being serious here! I can’t believe-“

His voice is considerably loud compared to your quietened tone, “Y/N calm down, I’m pretty sure I can handle Syndicate” Jungkook finds your state of confusion very amusing, as he rests his head on his hand and smiles right at you.

Before you can interrogate him on how he knows Sin Syndicate, he cuts you off, “My turn yeah?” he moves his hand to take a hold of yours, “I’ve been following you since you came to our club because I’ve been worried. We all have. And by we, I mean…Bangtan. I’m sure you’ve heard of us…” his eyes search yours and all he sees in return is pure panic. “Please hear me out! We don’t want to hurt you, I promise. Bangtan doesn’t hurt innocent people – we protect the innocent. All through my training, I was told the chilling story of the young girl, who had to be kidnapped due to a slip up in the Syndicate’s System, tortured not just by the grief of losing her family, but by the men who held her captive. When the new generation of Bangtan took over 7 years ago, we vowed to find that girl, and keep her safe. And here you are. You don’t need to worry about me, yeah? Syndicate doesn’t know our true identities, and it’s gonna stay that way, right?”

Your heart is thumping so loud, you’re certain he can hear it, “…oh yeah. I won’t tell anyone, I promise” your voice is barely a whisper. You feel so fucking numb, it feels like you’re dreaming.

“So, do you have any questions?”

Do you? “Um, I don’t know, my mind’s a little blank at the moment. This is a lot to take in. Um- do you kill people then?”

He lets out a breath, and gently moves his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours, “not in the way Syndicate does. Syndicate will kill anything that breathes, just to make a point. We kill people that are like Sin Syndicate. Does this make sense?” he looks up from your hands to meet your gaze, and you quickly nod, “The best person to have explain to you all the technical stuff is our leader Namjoon.”

Now it’s your turn to divert your gaze again, as you ask a question you really don’t want the answer too, “ahh, so you all have roles then?”

“Yeah.” Gulp. ”I’m Bangtan’s assassin.”

You immediately tense. Assassin? Like the one in charge of killing people? Like the guy who murdered my family? No way. I can’t do this.

“Y/N-“

You flinch at the sound of his voice, standing up and instantly ripping your hand away from his. You feel sick to your stomach. “I gotta go, they’ll be wondering where I am” you say quickly, trying to blink back the tears that were starting to form. And just like that you exit the café and leave Jungkook behind, wondering what on earth he’s just done.

---------------------------------------

You enter through one of the fire exits at the back of the club and head straight for the toilets. Running into a cubicle, you quickly lock the door behind you and sit on the closed seat. The tears that you had held back were now escaping, causing sobs to rush past your lips. With your head in your hands, tears drip through your fingers, onto the tiles below. Your breathing hitched as you hear his confession again.

‘I’m Bangtan’s assassin.’

Thud! Thud! Thud! You’re interrupted by a banging on the stall door.

“Y/N is that you?” the voice called, and you recognise it to be Grace’s.

“..yeah..”

A breathy laugh sounds out into the room, “good! We thought you did a runner!”

You stay in the cubicle for a while longer – only coming out when you know Grace has left. Letting the door swing behind you, you head straight to the sink to wash your face.

------------------------------

Meanwhile, Jungkook is walking aimlessly around the city. Filled to the brim with rage and self-loath, he is wandering various streets, the only company he has is his thoughts.

Why the fuck did I tell her that I’m an assassin? I’ve fucked everything up. Now what’s she gonna do, huh? She could snitch on us all, which is unlikely but not impossible. Or she could cut contact with me. Either way, the guys are gonna be pissed. Oh god, what if she got caught heading back? What if they’re beating her right now? I swear to God if I find-

“OI!” someone yells from behind him, making him instantly turn to find out who’s shouting. Two guys and one girl stalk towards him – is that the Sunny girl? They head straight towards him, but Jungkook’s never been one to back down from a fight.

“Yep, that’s him boys. Get him!” Sunny remains in her spot, about 3 metres away from Jungkook. She crosses her arms as she watches the drama unfold.

The two men lunge for Jungkook, but it’s him that gets the first punch. Hitting one of them, they stumble back, whilst the other slams Jungkook, head first, into some near by shutters. Punching the man in the gut, Jungkook gets his own back; but it’s not long until the duo gets the upper hand. Jungkook is left in a bad shape, as he slides down the shutters. The 3 Syndicates laugh menacingly as they leave – unaware of who they’ve just laid their hands on.

Pulling his phone out from his pocket, he quickly dials the number he was searching for.

“Hyung...?”

next chapter update: Wednesday 19th February 2020 9pm gmt

tagging: @dearlydreadful @honeydewseoks @whimsicalwoodlands @toddsgirl27 @wendyiiwl @asifetch7 @barbyisafangirl @miraculyfe @btsxdoll @laluzdirectioner @slutkoo @bubbletae7 @h5naaa @smollmonajinsa @vivpurple7 @purplelady85 @vi-hoshi

let me know if you wanna be tagged in future chapters!

Thank you so much for reading

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trensu · 4 years

Text

Episode 20: The One where WangXiantics becomes W(angst)Xiantics

So we start the episode on a high note by watching wc and jj suffer a mental breakdown

We won’t go into detail bc we don’t actually care about them

We are, however, gonna take the time to admire the cut of wwx’s silhouette as he stands on the rooftop playing his demon flute

For real tho, he’s killin it here (on a rooftop! did i mention that? bc all great scenes happen on rooftops)

Enshrouded in shadow with wisps of resentful energy flowing around his flute as he plays

And the only light on him frames just his eyes, emphasizing his cold focus as he rains terror on the two who hurt his family and destroyed his home

Chills...this is not a guy you want to cross

Okay Plot Stuff happens and wwx is gone by the time JC and LWJ show up at the scene of the crime

More plot stuff

Plot plot, wen qing and jc have a moment and there’s a comb, plot plot

Jc and lwj are hunting down wc and wen zhuliu

Plot plot plot

They finally find them holed up somewhere, idk where, it doesn’t matter

Jc is about to rush in but lwj, being sensible, stops him and tells him they should observe first

So they sneak onto the roof and watch shit go down through a missing tile

Wc and wzl are there doing stuff that doesn’t matter

But then an ominous breeze picks up and we see black boots slowly start climbing a staircase leading to where wc and wzl are

This kind of echoes lwj’s scene in the last episode, which is GREAT

The steps are not hurried in any way. There’s no rush bc wc and wzl are right where he wants them to be

The “he’ here is revealed to be WWX!!!

YOU LOOKIN FINEEEE IN THOSE ROBES WWX

(tbh, all of our boys are looking pretty dashing)

(@theuntamednarrator and i decided that lwj and jc were probs trying to one up each other in the fashion department bc they wanted to look ESPECIALLY handsome and heroic when they finally find wwx. And no, you cannot change our minds. This is definitely what happened.)

There’s some banter between wzl and wwx that doesn’t really matter except for this gem of a line that is just SO GREAT i can’t NOT include it

Wen zhuliu says something about repaying his debts to wen ruohan

Wwx: why do other people have to pay for your gratitude?

DAAAAAMN BOY

LOOK AT YOU DROPPING THE MIC

WWX whips out his flute and starts to play

Lwj sees all the resentful energy wwx is summoning and his eyes widen (by like, a lot) in shock

A pause here to mention that the lady in red that wwx summons is by far the COOLEST THING EVER (the special effects here are actually special for once lol)

i am very upset we didn’t get to see more of her.

What the heck wwx, she’s so effective and awesome??

And she matches your color scheme perfectly???

And you choose never to summon her again????

What is the matter with you

Do it for the aesthetic if nothing else!

So lwj and jc are just chillin on the roof watching all this go down but then suddenly wen zhuliu attacks wwx and is about to land a hit on him

ofc that’s when lwj chooses to intervene

Our boy straight up punches through the roof so that he and jc land between wzl and wwx

We get to watch jc choke out wen zhuliu with his zidian which is pretty cool

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, once this happens, LWJ TURNS AROUND AND FACES WWX FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS

HE JUST GAZES AT HIM???

And jc goes in and has a brotherly reunion with wwx and it’s all sentimental

THE YUNMENG BRO HUG HERE, AHH, MY PRECIOUS YUNMENG BOYS

(Why didn't you return the hug properly wwx why)

The look on LWJ’s face at their reunion is so full of yearning!!

HE WANTS TO HUG WEI YING TOO. HE’S MISSED HIM SO MUCH, HE NEEDS A HUG FROM WEI YING RIGHT NOW

Ofc that doesn’t happen, and actually after a moment, lwj looks away from the scene as if he realizes he’s intruding on an emotional moment

And here we get some fun Q&A time with wwx!! (and by fun, i mean frustrating and emotionally trying)

Jc: were you really thrown into the burial mounds??

Wwx: if i had been thrown in there, would i be here now? Nobody survives that place

WAY TO NOT ANSWER THE QUESTION

Jc: where did they take you? How’d you escape? Why do you look different??

Wwx: *pointedly does not answer the first two questions* have i really changed??

And then, to further distract from the other questions that he totally ignored...

Wwx: if i told you that i found a special book in a secret cave written by a genius recluse, and then studied it to become super powerful, would you believe me?

Ofc jc just rolls his eyes and starts scolding him which makes wwx grin

Wwx: see, you won’t believe me even if i told you. I’ll tell you more later when we get home

Jc looks at lwj here, who up until now had been silently watching them talk, and then turns his attention back to wwx

Jc: fine, we’ll talk later

THEY’RE PURPOSELY EXCLUDING LWJ AS THOUGH HE HASN’T SPENT THE LAST THREE MONTHS FRANTICALLY SEARCHING FOR WWX TOO, I'M SO UPSET

And here’s where it starts to get super heartbreaking bc this is when lan wangji decides to chime in

Lwj: Wei Ying

Wwx: Lan er-gongzi, or should i say Hanguang-jun

WWX IS ADDRESSING HIM FORMALLY AND I DON’T LIKE IT

SINCE WHEN DO YOU CALL HIM ANYTHING OTHER THAN LAN ZHAN???

LIKE, WWX EVEN DID A LITTLE RESPECTFUL BOW AND EVERYTHING

HE IS DISTANCING HIMSELF FROM LWJ

STOP THAT WWX, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW

LWJ: were you the one that hunted all those wens?

Wwx: so what if i was?

Lwj: why did you give up the sword? Answer me.

Wwx: what if i refuse to answer?

AND HE SAYS THAT WITH A SMIRK, A COLD CURL OF HIS LIPS WHERE IT USED TO BE SO TEASING AND FLIRTY

SOMEONE STAB ME IN THE FACE

Lwj reaches out to grab him in response but wwx completely sidesteps him and even places his demon flute between them!!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

WWX: lan zhan (oh so NOW you want to call him by his name), we just reunited after so long and you’re interrogating me? That’s not very nice.

YOU’RE BEING MEAN ON PURPOSE WWX

STOP HURTING LWJ’S FEELINGS

Wwx: it’s been months since the Murder Turtle cave...even if you didn’t cherish our relationship as classmates, you shouldn’t be so mean

HE SAYS THIS WITH A MOCKING SMILE

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

HE’S NOT THE ONE BEING MEAN WWX

Lwj does not rise to the bait: Answer me.

Wwx: I did already and you didn’t believe me! I can’t explain so much in so few words

Lwj: Then come to Gusu with me and explain it there.

LWJ ASKS HIM TO COME HOME WITH HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME

IT WON’T BE THE LAST

AND IT HURTS EVERY TIME.

IT DOESN’T GET BETTER

EVERY INVITATION IS SUPER PAINFUL

Wwx: Gusu? With the 3000 rules? No, i refuse! I prefer yunmeng

I HATE THIS

THIS IS ALL AWFUL

Like, wwx is all pouty when he says this? And before it would’ve been all teasing and cute but instead it’s all cold and mocking aND IT HURTS

Lwj: wei ying, don’t joke around

And he angrily steps towards wwx but jc blocks him with his sheathed sword

With jc between them, wwx asks him, “lan zhan, what do you really want?

HE WANTS TO TAKE YOU HOME AND KEEP YOU SAFE AND LOVE YOU FOREVER

THAT’S WHAT HE WANTS

HE JUST WANTS YOU WITH HIM

GOD DAMN IT

But lwj is bad with words so instead of saying ANY of that he goes

Lwj: wei ying, there will be a price for learning wicked tricks; there’s been no exception in all of history. They will harm your body and mind.

HE’S SO WORRIED FOR WWX

STOP DANCING AROUND THE TOPIC LWJ AND JUST SAY YOU'RE WORRIED

Wwx: i didn’t snatch any souls for my tricks so they’re not wicked. I use talismans and play music, how is that wicked?

WWX YOU’RE COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT

Wwx: and even if they were wicked tricks, i know myself and my limits

AND HE’S SAYING ALL THIS WITH HIS BACK TURNED TO LWJ

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

Wwx: as for my temperament...i’m in charge of my own mind and i know what i’m doing

Lwj: there are some things you can’t decide on your own!

Lwj is so so worried, he’s snapping at wwx here. It comes off as angry but it’s not anger, he’s scared for wei ying, he’s distressed!!

Now wwx finally walks back to lwj and faces him head on

Oh man, the way they shoot this scene is intense

They only let you see half of wwx’s face bc the other half is obscured by lwj

Wwx: how do others know my temperament? And why should it be their concern?

Just...those words paired with how we can’t see wwx straight on...it hits you in the gut

bc what he really means is “what do you know about me, outsider?”

Lwj: Wei Wuxian (he snaps at him!!)

NOOO DON’T CALL HIM THAT!! DON'T SAY WUXIAN!! YOU ALWAYS CALL HIM WEI YING!!!

Wwx: Lan Wangji (he replies coolly)

STOP ADDRESSING EACH OTHER SO FORMALLY WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

Wwx: why do you oppose me now? Who do you think you are? What does the lan clan think they are? That you believed i wouldn’t protest?

STAAAAHP

HE’S YOUR SOULMATE!! THAT’S WHAT HE IS!!!

HE LOVES YOU!!! HE WANTS YOU SAFE!!!

And here wen chao regains consciousness (oh yeah, wen zhuliu is def dead but wc was just knocked out until now…)

Oh shit wwx just kicked wc as he starts begging for his life

That was cold. I mean, wc definitely deserved it but wwx is not normally this cruel

WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING AT LWJ, WWX JUST KICKS HIM OUT

Wwx: this is a domestic affair of the jiang clan of yunmeng. Please leave it to us

Lwj looks at him for just a moment before lowering his gaze and walking out solemnly

WHYYYYYY

STOP BEING MEAN TO EACH OTHER

Oh god, and the expression on wwx’s face after lwj’s gone??

HE LOOKS SO TIRED AND DEFEATED

Like it was taking every ounce of effort to maintain that cold distance from lwj this whole time

And to make it MORE heartbreaking--

When the camera zooms in on wwx’s face as he watches lwj leave (again with that empty, defeated expression) we hear wc in the background begging “forgive me, forgive me”

!!!!!!!!

That begging superimposed over wwx’s expression??

IT’S ALMOST LIKE WEI YING HIMSELF IS ASKING LWJ TO FORGIVE HIM FOR WHAT HE’S DOING RIGHT NOW

Idk if the showrunners did that on purpose BUT OW, MY HEART, MY HEART, IT HURTS

And now I’M SOBBING

LWJ is at the gates of wherever it is they found wc, and he stops in his tracks when he hears wc scream

Then he’s just remembering the words wwx said to him

Lan wangji why are you at odds with me now

Who do you think you are

What do you lan clan think you are?

AND HE JUST LOOKS HEARTBROKEN

EVERYTHING HURTS SO MUCH

Then we cut to lotus pier and watch wwx and jc pay their respects to jfm and m-yu

Wwx: you asked me to take good care of jc and jyl, and i did. Rest in peace now.

*UGLY CRYING* JUST STAB ME IN THE HEART WITH A RUSTY KNIFE

IT WOULD HURT LESS

that’s all the wangxiantics for this episode so only one question remains:

WILL I EVER EXPERIENCE JOY AGAIN???

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

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akatsuki-shin · 5 years

Text

[REVIEW] The Untamed: The Living Dead

Before anyone asked, for those of you who wanted to watch this movie:

Download iQiyi apps to your phone

Pick the movie and watch it from your phone

If you don't want to continue the membership, remember to cancel it before the date of renewal

WeTV said it will be available in their apps, too, but I'm not sure when they are going to release it, so just keep an eye on it.

If it's really on WeTV, then it means the movie can be watched from web, as well, via WeTV's website.

*** Spoilers ahead! You've been warned. ***

STORY: 7/10

Nothing outstanding, but not that bad either. Let's just say it's like one of those Extra Chapters in Mo Dao Zu Shi, a story of one of their night hunts after the end of the official story. It just happens that this night hunt is a tad bit more difficult than the usual, with a dash of existential crisis for Wen Ning.

So in summary, there was one servant in a prominent family's house who was apparently delusional enough to think that the Young Lady of the family cares deeply for him, and he fell in love with her. He hated the fact that there was a new disciple coming into the family, favored by the family head, became a couple with the Young Lady and they would soon get married.

Sounds like your usual soap opera drama......except this servant got black magic on his hands with a shard of Yin Iron which allows him to control others like a puppet.

Hence when he got found out, he destroyed the whole family and framed that disciple guy. But to his misfortune, he accidentally killed the Young Lady in the process. After that, he started using the disciple like a puppet to terrorize the people of the surrounding village, taking their souls in order to resurrect the Young Lady using his shard of Yin Iron.

Despite the plot being pretty much cliche, for a 90 minutes movie, I think the story itself is pretty solid. The fact that this servant being the actual villain was the big plot twist at the end because since the beginning (heck, even since the promotion of the movie), we were made to believe that the disciple guy was the root of the problem.

Also, since this movie took place after the end of the official story, when Wen Ning decided to go independent and no longer depending on Wei Wuxian, I think it's nice that there is a part of the movie when Wen Ning was trapped in that illusion, having his own self doubting his existence, trying to influence him to berate Wei Wuxian for making him a, well, living dead.

And although it happens inside the illusion, for The Untamed fans, it was a pleasant surprise when Wei Wuxian's figure appeared to save Wen Ning from the trap, ensuring him that he is different from all those controlled puppets ("WU JI" PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND, DAMN BRUH)

Still, there are a few things that - I'm not going to say "bad" - is quite questionable and probably could've been done differently.

I'm not going to ask how Zhao Yi got his hand of Yiling Laozu's manuscript. I'll take it with a grain of salt that probably when the Lanling Jin Sect was in chaos after Jin Guang Yao's dead, maybe someone really did able to snuck out a few things from Fragrant Chamber's Treasure Vault......although even if someone can do that, I don't think it's going to be Zhao Yi since he literally has no connection at all with the characters in The Untamed's main story.

But fine, let's just believe that he was somehow able to get it.

Then comes the next problem. How the heck is this guy able to create a shard of Yin Iron? Mind you, even Wei Wuxian didn't create his own shard of Yin Iron to make the Stygian Tiger Seal. He just happened to stumble across that Yin Iron Sword in the Xuanwu of Slaughter's Cave.

If even the Yiling Patriarch couldn't do it, how could a mere servant create a shard of Yin Iron from nothing?

Three of those shards were with Wen Ruo Han, and were destroyed after his death.

One shard was hidden by Xue Yang. Idk where this one goes, tbh, but I am inclined to believe Jin Guang Yao was the one who kept it in the end (CMIIW).

The last shard was within the sword Wei Wuxian found, then used to create the Stygian Tiger Seal.

Did the shard hidden by Xue Yang actually fell to this Zhao Yi's hand? Did he create it from scratch by following Yiling Patriarch's manuscript?

Either way, none of those sound logical for me, which is the biggest flaw of this movie in my opinion. They could've just said the villain was a sorcerer using black magic/demonic cultivation and it would've been fine. No need to put Yin Iron into the story.

Also it's a bit unclear to me how they handled Zhao Yi at the end. Wen Ning and Sizhui were shown walking in Gusu during the ending, but just before that, we clearly saw Wen Ning seemingly sending Zhao Yi into the same illusion trap that he experienced before.

So they just punished Zhao Yi based on their own judgment? Or did they still at least deliver his physical body to be imprisoned in Gusu?

And how the heck could they just finish the story with Wen Ning being the one who got to hold the Yin Iron, wtf?

Last but not least, this usually happens to most 90 minutes movies that I've watched - which is the pacing problem. Especially in the first half of the movie, the pacing was way too fast, they kept changing from one scene to the other as if they're in a rush. I know it's probably because of duration, but still it made me feel a bit uncomfortable following the flow of the story.

CHARACTERS: 7/10

Again, not bad, but nothing spectacular, as well.

I'm going to start with the 3 new characters: Zhao Yi, Xiao Qing, and Zhou Zishu.

Aside from Zhao Yi who got decent screen time due to him being the villain, I don't think the other two characters even got to do anything except dying after they finished telling the past.

A pity, considering that they were put in all promotional materials since the beginning. At least I had expected them to be a little bit more important.

As for Zhao Yi himself, I guess he did a fine job in the handful of screen time he got for this 90 minutes movie. I think his part is pretty solid despite the fast pacing of the movie. At least his background, his motive, and his way of doing things were all explained without any holes.

Now moving on to Lan Sizhui. I don't mean anything bad by this, but I feel that - despite the heck ton of screen time he got - he is barely any different from the rest of the side characters.

To be blunt, I feel like he's just there so Wen Ning got a friend he could talk to. True, he's matured compared to his self during The Untamed. He fought so much better. Heck, his action is really really REALLY cool.

But that's that. He's just there to be Wen Ning's sidekick. Even if he wasn't there, Wen Ning could've solved the case on his own, really.

Sorry, Sizhui. It ain't your fault. The plot makes you like this. :')

But again, as I said before, this story feels like another Extra Chapter after the main story, just another one of their night hunts. If we think about it from this perspective, it's not strange for Sizhui to simply be Wen Ning's sidekick. It just means that they happened to stumble upon the same case and worked together to solve it. Since Wen Ning is older and more experienced, he's "leading" the investigation while Sizhui is following and learning from him.

Now, Wen Ning.

If there is one thing I was more scared about before watching this movie, it's that I was afraid they would destroy Wen Ning's character. It's pretty clear if we see their promotional materials. Even from the make-up, Wen Ning looks so much cooler compared to his appearance during The Untamed. I was scared that they would destroy the Wen Ning that we know to create a brand new, super cool protagonist for this movie.

Well, in the end they didn't really destroy his character - which is a relief. In some aspects, Wen Ning did still retain some of his original nature. For one, he still listened to Wei Wuxian's words and kept it in his heart, hence why he insisted for Sizhui to start calling him "Senior/Brother" instead of "Uncle Ning" because Wei Wuxian said being called "Uncle" sounds old.

However, his demeanor still feels kinda foreign for me, including his interaction with Sizhui which feels like Wen Ning is being too blunt with him. Granted, we can argue that during the span of idk how many years since the end of the original story to here, Wen Ning must've matured and gained confidence in himself.

But the thing is, we did not see any of those happenings that made him the way he is right now, so it just feels strange to see a Wen Ning who does not stutter, does not doubt, and often speaks bluntly.

ACTION & SPECIAL EFFECTS: 8/10

I'm going to say first hand that during the climax battle, I was actually snickering throughout the whole fight because it feels like one of those Tokusatsu movie where Wen Ning and Sizhui did a henshin and suddenly become super powerful. x'D

But aside of that, the action of this movie is just SUPER DUPER GREAT, at least compared to The Untamed. You can tell that they got high budget for this movie, finally.

The fights no longer feel awkward. You know there are people being hung and flung about by wires, but their movements overall look natural. At least you don't see them forgetting to completely erase the traces of wire from the final product, unlike when Jin Ling was fighting against the Goddess Statue at Dafan Mountain in Episode 2 of The Untamed.

And the CGI/special effects completely support this. First of all, Wen Ning's chains look mighty fabulous and the animation is perfectly in line with his body movement.

Then there's Lan Sizhui. Damn this boy is really killing it. No wonder he is Han Guang Jun's child. The way he fought with the Guqin is just A++++

The only downside is that Gusu CGI at the end which look totally unnatural. Like, man, I can totally imagine them just walking on green screen there.

OVERAL SCORE: 7.3/10

Not exactly spectacular or mind blowing, but it does have some surprising elements and the actions exceeded my expectations.

I don't think non-MDZS/The Untamed fans will be able to fully enjoy this movie, but otherwise it's a good watch. I think they really went all-out for the actions. It's simply the winning element of the entire show.

Bottom line is, I will treat this movie as an Extra Chapter of The Untamed/MDZS. Just our beloved Uncle Ning and his nephew going out on a night hunt and happened to stumble across a difficult case, hence they worked together to put an end to it.

And last but not least:

Wei Wuxian when he saw this translation:

I mean... WHAT THE HECK IS MASTER OF YI TOMBS??? x’DD

#The Untamed #Chen Qing Ling #CQL #The Living Dead #Wen Ning #Lan Sizhui #Yu Bin #Zhen Fan Xing #Wei Wuxian #Review #Movie Review

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curiosity-killed · 5 years

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NaNo Show and Tell Day 01

Brought to you by @thewriteblrarchives

Questions for you:

How long have you been writing?

uhhhh a long damn time. I wrote my first longform story when I was seven, but I’d already been writing poetry for a little over a year by then. So close to sixteen years?

When you start a project, how do you start? With character, setting, plot, aesthetic, something else?

A general, nebulous concept, and 3.5 characters

What’s your favorite part of the writing process?

Either a) rereading finished works (bc honestly I write for myself with the side hope that other people will get enjoyment out of them) or b) when a scene just unfolds perfectly as you write and the words just keep flowing

What genres do you write?

Mostly fantasy of varying levels, but also a little scifi/horror and historical (fan)fiction

Where’s the strangest place you’ve ever written?

hmmm probably on little bits of receipt paper while I was doing the evening shift at the truck stop

Questions for NaNo:

Have you participated in NaNo or camp NaNo before?

Yep! It’s my 7th NaNo and I did Camp NaNo this summer

What made you decide to join up?

I have a very hard time saying no to a challenge.

What are you most excited about/looking forward to?

Finally having something more than random snippets written out for this piece

Have you done a lot of preparation? Or none whatsoever?

I attempted an outline and jotted a few notes down on it, but most my preparation is from the fact that I’ve been playing with this story concept for like 9 years

Do you have a workspace, schedule, or daily goal?

LOL @ workspace or schedule. I write wherever I can, which is usually in lecture halls. As for daily goals, I’m following (roughly) last year’s plan which is just [current word count] + [NaNo word goal] & rounded up to the next 1,000.

So like today I’m starting with 13,463 + NaNo’s goal of 1,667 = 15,130, which rounds up to 16,000. Idk if I’ll actually hit that but it’s my “stretch” goal for the day

Questions for your wip:

What’s your NaNo wip titled (if it has one)?

It’s tentatively titled Peacekeepers but I don’t plan on sticking with that

Tell us a bit about your NaNo wip! For example the plot, genre, themes…

So this one is probably the weirdest of my stories in part because I had two fairly different ideas of where to go with these characters and then decided to just....smoosh them together.

It’s essentially a psychological horror/suspense story that’s caused by a scifi story and becomes a coming of age story about personal and societal identities and healing from trauma.

Micah’s been haunted since she was four years old. No one else can see it and she stopped telling people long ago, but it lives in her shadow with needle-sharp teeth and long, cold claws. Over the years, she’s grown used to it in that way you become inured to impossible things. But when she finds evidence that might explain her haunting, she’s forced to realize that this ghost is a poltergeist made from her own history and that this monster is just as haunted as her.

Aaaand now I should actually get some writing done aha

#nano2019 #nano show and tell

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luckycheesefoodie321 · 5 years

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I’m about to unleash a LONG review of HTTYD3: The Hidden World RIDDLED with spoilers sooooo... (this is probably trash, it’s been several days since i started this so idk the flow and my thought process was a mess but i better post this now before i forget)

Spoiler free review: 9/10, I did cry, personally felt it was on par with HTTYD2 butttt I like it in a different way to HTTYD2... the animation? ferguckin’ gorgeous, there are fracking LEVELS to the beauty of the Hidden World (the actual place and the movie)...and Astrid’s hair??? mmmm yeah goals

OK SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT (and it looooong yall)

Ok so time to explain the 1/10:

the flow wasn’t as smooth?? as it could have been... it all made sense why things happened and where the motivations came from but...the transitions from sequence to sequence seemed...a little disjointed??? there were parts (maybe it was because i had a kid with me so I got distracted in like two parts) where I was like “oh wait something is happening?? oh wait no yeah I get it sure...so it took me second to realise how one scene got to the other (but again that might’ve been because i was distracted.)...and as a result of the slightly jarred flow, the pace seemed a little disrupted??? maybe it’s just me wanting more, but it felt like things could’ve been a bit...meatier??

also, this was a very Hiccup and Toothless film (I mean obviously, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and I intend to discuss how great it is later), and so it sorta left little fulfilment or finality for the side characters...they all had their moments sure, and somewhat of an end, but i feel like just a minute here and there more to give them a more satisfying character ending would’ve been nice...

NOW ONTO THE 9/10, and since we’re here already, let’s talk side characters

OUR DRAGON SQUAD

Tuffnut finally got a chance to shine for more than a second of screentime, and while he remained the comedic relief he’s always been (in the films, haven’t seen the shows or short films), it was fun to see him branch out and engage with Hiccup directly...the continuous through-line of him and his beard and trying to impart wisdom on Hiccup was great... Ruffnut also got some solid screentime and she finally made her choice of man (when really she didn’t have any for reasons I will explain later) and “accepted” Fishlegs...but idk didn’t care about that, her scene when she was “captured” by Grimmel was fantastic...Kristen Wiig delivered perfectly from intonation to comedic timing, loved her work!

Snotlout...I literally had to pause a few seconds just now after typing his name bc *sigh*...we all know Snotlout’s has mild braggadocio...he spitting words with no follow through...annnd that doesn’t much change??? He’s still trying to front and compete with Hiccup and then Eret, and that was originally his charm point...but I would’ve liked to see him find validation in himself rather than an intentional compliment from Valka...and speaking of Valka??? Snotlout just latching onto the closest woman likkkkeeee Snotlout calm down you’re like 40 years younger than her??? maybe not 40 but point is Valka is a badass dragon momma who really isn’t going your way...I just wanted Snotlout to have his moment...

Fishlegs...yeah he was all dragon daddy carrying his baby Gronkle around and also enjoying his baby Gronkle and that big dragon’s friendship...also Ruffnut has claimed him...bc Snotlout is chasing Valka...so there’s no real option for her (she moved on from Eret and her self-confidence is kinda dope)

HOMIE ADULTS

Eret, son of Eret...I wanted more of him...he just hanging around making passing comments and being the knowledgeable other about Grimmel...and then he had a little something something implied with Gobber??? they had some scenes that had me side-eyeing hardcore... Gobber basically has the same relationship he had with Stoick, but with Hiccup...general calling him out, questioning his lack of planning...just sorta done with everything...true sassy queen...and also yeah him and Eret??? suss

Valka, my queen, my dragon wizard lord who floats through the clouds... maintains her badassery and voice of wisdom role but again steps back to make way for Hiccup and Toothless...and she encouraged Snotlout, for which I am not down...like sure support him but ugh you know he’s into you so just...just...no

MAIN CHARACTERS

Grimmel...definitely a more fleshed out villain than the Red Death and Drago...not necessarily a complex villain, but he was a lot smarter and impacted Hiccup in a way the other two didn’t...rather than using blood and fire to cut to Hiccup’s core, he lured Toothless away and forced Hiccup into a sobering reality that he and Toothless can’t always be together...that said, his “death” was kinda lame...could’ve had more of a bang than probably drowning

The Light Fury was used in an interesting way...she’d already been captured and was used as bait, not just stumbled upon in the wilderness as I had assumed from the trailers...I enjoyed how she was so clearly a wild dragon...from the way she responded to Toothless and his attempts at flirting, spurred him to tap into his true potential and abilities that Valka had alluded to in HTTYD2, to how she always trying to get him to come away into the sky and away from the humans...that said I love how she gradually warmed up to Hiccup...not in the way Toothless did, but in a way where you knew she acknowledged that Hiccup was someone who was important to Toothless, and had no desire to harm her or other dragons and the fact she was the one who saved both Toothless and Hiccup at the end was great...

Astrid, once again, is the only one (aside from Valka, and apparently Eret) with any real sense, both common and fighting...she’s kept to her roots as a skilled fighter in her own right, as opposed to the others relying heavily on their dragons...her chemistry with Hiccup continued to be adorable and flirtatious and pure and wholesome and with all the mad banter...her being so firm against being married so quickly bouncing off Hiccup’s clearly apparent willingness to tie the knot was an adorable under-plot...her character was probably the most consistent of all the characters imo...and she got a fulfilling ending...plus once again, her hair, ESPECIALLY IN THE WEDDING SCENE WAS SO FRIGGEN GORGEOUS AND BEATS ALL ANIMATED HAIR EVER

And now the boys of the hour, Hiccup and Toothless

This was a Hiccup and Toothless film. No side story about his mom and dad, no arbitrary villain just there to cause conflict. This was a film about two best friends in an increasingly complicated world realising that in order to tackle that world? They’d have to separate. It’s the same feeling as realising that the people you grew up with or the friends you made in school won’t be able to stay by your side anymore. You each have a path to take and it’s not one that can be shared...maybe run parallel at times but not the whole way. This is what our boys had to face.

I love love LOVED that there were sooo many parallels to the first movie...ugh to have that footage so I can count and display all the moments that just brought you back to all the charm and things you fell in love with in the first movie, but with more meaning, more stories to tell...it’s like when I saw Miley Cyrus sing The Climb again many many years after the Hannah Montana movie...there was suddenly more depth to her performance...this was the vibe I got..and it was obviously intentional in bringing so many parallels to the first movie...bringing the story full circle and all that, and of course it culminated in the most perfect moment, the moment that started us all on this journey...

BUT IN THE MOTHERFRACKING REVERSE!!! this was the moment that let those tears slip...I had gone in expecting to cry, but had far and away found myself having more fun and slowly accepting that maybe...maybe I wouldn’t cry in this movie...we got to the big goodbye, and I embodied my inner Jake Peralta and was like cool cool cool no tears yet, I can make it through and then BAM! they did the reverse hand touch and tears were spilled, and my friends were just watching me with unbridled glee in the dark as I got emotional...I’d been watching with increasing suspicion as moment after moment echoed the first movie, but somehow I didn’t realise they would do the reverse hand thing...maybe it’s because the hand thing had been embedded in every moment that Hiccup and the dragon riders encountered new dragons that I did not expect he would ever have to do it to Toothless again?? but in reverse???? because he was letting GO?!?!?!?!?! god it hit me hard...

But then a downside: they started to overuse it in the prologue-y sorta bit with the kids and meeting Toothless again...liiikkkeeee we already had that major impactful, emotional moment...why overuse it??? i would’ve much rathered they just gazed at each other for a bit before Toothless suddenly gives his signature toothless grin...or he swoops in and grabs Hiccup by the pegleg into the air, freaks everyone out, only to do the upside down grin thing- that would’ve been great...I mean they had that moment with the Light Fury but I wouldn’t have minded if they used that one again...

my mind is wandering and this probs doesn’t make any sense at this point sooo: the separation thing! good they established the over-reliance on the dragons and Hiccup’s thinking he can’t do well without Toothless, and Astrid, my QUEEN, coming in and telling him what’s what...and also not marrying him until he was more certain of himself because she knew if he wasn’t ready to face the world alone, he wasn’t ready to face the world with her (at least that’s my interpretation and again idk where I’m going with this thought process)...also love that Hiccup was lowkey jealous of the Light Fury...also also glad she never got a name...keeps her wild, as she should be...

I think this was definitely an incredible ending to an incredible trilogy of films...maybe not Toy Story perfect, but it was full of heart and emotion and continuously brought you back to all the wonder of the first film. Literally, there were so many parallels to the first film it was insane...while I talked about disjointed flow earlier, this incorporation of these callbacks was so well embedded, becoming just a natural proceeding of events...

I’m coming back to this review after several days so idk where I was going with this soooo just gonna wrap this up:

ASTRID’S WEDDING HAIR WAS GOALS. THE END.

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catsbythegreat · 5 years

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Fic Round Up 2018

I did this last year and it was fun, so it’s time to see how this year stands up:

-Total year-long word count: 291,102 (about 40,000 more than last year)

Word count by fandom: - too lazy to do this but I’m going to assume that almost all of them are BSD

Fics completed: 56 (down from 65)

*for the fics posted I’ll only post my faves except the chapter fics, which I’ll post all of since there’s not a lot.

Drabbles: - word for a threat that’s also a surprise prompt (skk) - don’t you dare shut me out prompt (skk) - you’re trembling prompt (atsushi and kyouka friendship) - what happens if i do this prompt (skk) - teenage dazai realizes he might like chuuya oh no (skk) - not really a drabble but still a post -- bsd bake off au - chuuaku week day 2: soft (chuuaku) - things you said when we were the happiest we ever were prompt (chuuaku) - things you said with no space between us prompt (skk) - things you said while we were driving (skk) - things you said after sex prompt (chuuaku)

Oneshots: - let me help you, skk - Dazai notices Chuuya’s sleeping problems. - Aftermath, skk - Dazai tells Chuuya about a mission gone wrong. - are you home?, skk - Chuuya trusts Dazai to help him when he needs it, but not completely. - the opposite of alone, skk - Chuuya can’t sleep, so he texts Dazai. - Spiralling, skk - Chuuya always wondered if Corruption would tear him apart. - hope that something good will happen next, skk - Dazai + Chuuya + talk in a cabin - Constancy, skk - the day Chuuya came home with a diagnosis, Dazai considered moving out. - tired, skk - Dazai hates Chuuya post-Corruption. - Pick Up the Pieces series, skk - Chuuya gets tortured, he and Dazai decide to help each other. - lend me a shoulder, chuuaku - Dead Apple missing scene where Akutagawa helps Chuuya. - Perseverance, skk - figure skating au part 2, Olympics! - Satisfaction, skk - figure skating au part 3, Worlds! - Storm, skk - Dazai and Chuuya and one blanket in a snow storm. - Yokohama: Unsolved, skk - Dazai and Chuuya are ghost hunters. - Untraceable Children, skk - Psycho-Pass au, They meet after Chuuya kills an inspector. - Spilled Ink, skk - parallel universes au feat. the stuff from Beast - Holding Pattern, skk - Never Let Me Go au (organ harvesting rip) - isn’t life hard, kunichuu - Kunikida thinks Chuuya is a good man. Chuuya knows he isn’t. - you’re safe here - Atsushi comes out to Dazai. - Bad Patients, Yosano & Dazai - Yosano treats Dazai. - At First Sight, skk - First mission fic! - Fairy Lights, skk - Dazai realizes Chuuya has never celebrated a proper Christmas. - for one man, sskk - SSKK in the aftermath of Dazia’s death. (Beast au) - Everybody Lives, kunikidazai - Kunikida believes he can save everyone. - to satisfaction, chuuya/ango - Ango wants to thank Chuuya. - Birdsong - When Chuuya was younger, he sang to the moon. (Chuuya & Kyouka siblings) - Never Enough, chuuaku - Chuuya knows what Dazai does to Akutagawa, but he doesn’t know Akutagawa.

Chapter Fics: - This Autumn Will End - Yosano wants to heal, but all she’s ever known is hurt. - Fighters, chuuaku - Chuuya and Akutagawa’s developing relationship

Works-in-progress: 3 -Gifted - skk, experimental research facility au - only human, skk - Special Abilities Department Chuuya AU. After Dazai escapes the Port Mafia, Chuuya is sent by the government to gain his trust.

This year I wrote and posted: 56 fics and 2 in-progress fics

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I never expect to write as much fic as I end up writing.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Some of the gen-fics.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? I have a lot of them actually but the ones that come to mind right now are the two later stories in the Revival series because figure skating is fun to write about. The first one was written in 2017 but I put a lot of work into the two that were written in 2018 and I hope to add to the series later.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? The Soukoku Trope Bingo fics and the ADA Week fics (like this one) were all territory I haven’t written for the most part (except the figure skating fic.) This Autumn Will End was also a risk because I’d never written Yosano in that much detail before. I got to know the new characters I was writing a bit more as well as the genres. I also learned that no one likes my kunikidazai LMAO but people are willing to give my lack of knowledge in some areas a pass. I also learned that I can write a lot of things I didn’t think I could. It’s just difficult.

Your best story of this year: Aside from “only human,” Aftermath. It’s not a big au or even a long fic but I’m proud of it and I think it helped me write more fics this year in which Dazai and Chuuya’s relationship grows to become more trusting.

Your most popular story of this year: only human, which isn’t surprising! It’s the fic I’ve written the most words for and its a multi-chap so people are exposed to it over and over again.

Story of yours most under-appreciated by the universe, in your opinion: Everybody Lives. I think this is the one fic where I was nervous about what I was writing but felt tentatively proud of at the same time, but it didn’t get a response. I don’t know if it’s because it’s kunikidazai and not a lot of people are reading it, or if it’s because it’s bad kunikidazai. Either way, I still don’t know whether or not it deserves appreciation but I guess I can say it’s under appreciated.

Most fun story to write: Yokohama: Unsolved. I mean...any story based on Buzzfeed Unsolved is gonna be a good time.

Story with the single sexiest moment: adrenaline. Like I said last year, I’m a bad judge of this. This fic doesn’t have any sex in it at all, but listen that scene where Chuuya threatens Ango in Dead Apple...just...yeah. I would pay with my life too. So it’s kind of like that but with a gun.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: you know what? Even among the kink bingo fics I never got here. Compared to last year that’s kind of disappointing.

Story that shifted your own perceptions of the characters: only human made me think about Dazai as a character more and made me realize that I like things about him.

Hardest story to write: This Autumn Will End (which could also actually go into the category above for Yosano) because I had never written so much about Yosano’s character AND it was long AND it was an au and I didn’t know if people would like it. Also, Holding Pattern was a fic I had to write and erase and rewrite a lot of, more so than other fics. Also Never Enough was part of a rolling remix so figuring out how to remix the fic before it was a bit hard, but once I got an idea things flowed.

Biggest disappointment: all of the top Chuuya kink bingo fics. Aside from that gunplay fic, I’m perfectly happy forgetting all of those things exist.

Biggest surprise: Pick Up the Pieces series. Was meant to be a one-shot for whumptober, ended up being skk relationship development and I kind of still think about it and how it fits into other stories and how I’ve characterized Chuuya and Dazai in general.

Most unintentionally telling story: Only You and Drowning

Favorite opening line(s): -“I wonder how many times you’re gonna almost-die before someone gets fed up with your shit and lets you.” (Only You) - “Ghosts don’t exist, but I’m not above using them to scare Chuuya.” - Dazai Osamu, interview, March 2018 (Yokohama: Unsolved)

Favorite closing line(s): - “Why do I do it? To cope with depression................and it’s fun to see Chuuya get scared!” - Dazai Osamu, interview, June 2018 (Yokohama: Unsolved) - “In a strange way, despite being a coward, Dazai had also been brave. Chuuya would be brave in his own way, too.” (Holding Pattern)

Favorite 5 line(s) from anywhere: - “No!” Chuuya took a shaky breath. “Of answering questions. Everyone always asks me questions, or tells me what to do, but no one talks to me and I’m tired of it because other people actually talk to each other and I keep seeing it and I want it, but you won’t give it to me.” (only human) - “I’ve never met someone who works so hard,” Dazai continued, “to be the person they want to be.” (Only You) - “Hello?” Dazai called out. “Is anyone here? We’re a couple of not-scientists and we need someone to explain things to us.” (Yokohama: Unsolved) - “You act like someone who knows how to love.” (Never Enough) - “He feels oddly detached from his body, the pain and Dazai’s hand around his wrist being the only things really grounding him, keeping him from thinking that maybe he’s just a shell and that Nakahara Chuuya doesn’t exist at all.” (At First Sight) - “Back then, a hand had reached out and freed him.Ever since, he’d had to do pretty much everything himself.” (Pick Up the Pieces, I can’t count LMAO)

Top 5 scenes from anywhere you would choose to have illustrated from anywhere - Chuuya pointing the Dominator at Dazai in Untraceable Children. - Chuuya destroying the tank in Pick Up the Pieces. - Chuuya during or after his free program in Satisfaction. - The ending scene of lend me a shoulder. - Dazai and Chuuya with their hot chocolates in Fairy Lights. - I’m sure there’s more but it’s hard to think.

Fic-writing goals for next year: Finish only human and/or Gifted and write the mutli-chaptered Psycho-Pass au because I have it all outlined which is a first but I haven’t written it. Also write more skk figure skating fics! I also want to create a world/au that people will be interested in talking about but idk what that is yet because even though I love au’s I’m also not great at that sort of thing.

#actual blog post #my fan fic #long post #skk #bsd

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auroraphilealis · 6 years

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so im beta-ing a fic for the first time and idk how to ‘help’ like i can do grammar and word flow, but like??? motivation? how does that work? i really dont want to fuck up

You’re not going to fuck up! The first thing you need to remember when it comes to being a beta for someone is that not every author and beta pair are perfect for each other! You’re going to clash with your author (even if you do work well with them!) and they’re going to clash with you. Working with an author is always going to be more difficult than it seems, and it all comes down to personality types at the end of the day.

So don’t feel discouraged if this doesn’t work out perfectly or the way you assumed it would. That’s okay, and fairly normal. It took me a lot of trial and error to find @imnotinclinedtomaturity and now we’re a really great team

Now, on to the actual, beta’ing advice lol.

Grammar and word flow are a really important place to start, of course. They help an author’s work look neat and put together. I don’t know about you, but most often when I’m writing, my head is faster than my fingers so there are typos and grammar mistakes and missing words galore! So definitely keep an eye out for this from your author, and try not to just assume that they don’t know the difference between there, their, and they’re. Honestly, when you’re on a roll in writing, you just don’t care which one you wrote, so long as one’s down. So yeah, be understanding of your author and that sometimes writing means saying fuck it to writing rules so you can get a thought out.

On that note, it’s always a great idea to ask your author early on, what problems they feel they have, and ask if there’s anything you can help them with by teaching them a little bit. Sometimes an author doesn’t know what they’re doing wrong, so you have to wait until you run into it to ask them if it’s something they don’t understand, or just a general writing mistake! My big thing is always explaining the pronoun game to people - which is just when to use a Noun and when to use a Proper Noun (he/him, vs Dan). This is especially easy to mess up in a slash fiction story, as there are then too many same gender pronouns floating around).

Now, beta’ing isn’t just about grammar and word flow. It’s also about plot checking, and character checking, and general elements of a story checking. When you’re reading through someones story, do your best to make sure for them that their plot makes sense. In their head, it might be going great! They know exactly what they want to do and where the story is going to go and they think they’ve made it pretty clear! But the fact of the matter is, part of the reason authors need editors is because they’re too much in their own head. It’s super difficult to recognize if the story is coming across clearly to a reader when you already know everything. So often, I have to tell Kat things like “I have a strong feeling this is not the sentiment you meant to get across, but from a reader’s perspective I understand xyz” and then Kat will come screaming back to me in horror that it came across incorrectly.

Of course Kat and I are super close, so we can be kind of mean to each other and still laugh it off or understand what’s going on. But in a newer beta relationship, just always make sure the author understands you aren’t calling them out or anything - you’re just trying to let them know that the way a plot point is written might be causing some misunderstandings in the reader!

This goes for character development as well, or just general writing that’s going on. You should see Kat’s fic when I’m done editing for her. The comments seem never ending, because I comment alot. But I’m also in Kat’s head, and I know what she intends for the story, so when I see something that comes across very different than what she probably wanted, I let her know.

Finally, motivation. The reason you came to me. That one’s the easy part.

Leave happy and excited comments. Mixed in with your comments about how something might not be working, or your corrections of they’re, their, and there, make sure to highlight scenes you thought were amazing, or sentences that really blew you away. Comment on them like you might a fic. I spend half my time leaving “kill me” and “oh god I’m dead” and “aldkjfaldsjfs” comments to Kat because I’m completely in love with something I just read. I basically live react to her story to show her how much I love it, and how well it’s coming along.

You can also show motivation and excitement for an author’s story when they talk to you about it. If you’re excited about a plot point they mention, TELL THEM. If they say something super cool about a character and their plans for them, let them know! If they’re worried something isn’t going to work out, help them through it until they’re feeling confident again.

Particularly if they aren’t your friend, don’t harass them and keep asking when they’re going to keep writing. But DO encourage them if they come and talk to you about writing. Let them know you’re excited for more. When they let you know there’s more to edit, send them excited messages about how much you’re enjoying it so far, and keep letting them know they’re doing great throughout your edit. That really helps an author feel good enough to keep going, because someone is enjoying it. Getting feedback is one of the fastest ways to make an author want to keep writing, because we get so happy that we just want to keep pushing on!

Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. If you ever want a more (somehow) in depth discussion about how to beta or how I beta, let me know! Maybe I can whip up some tips and tricks for young beta’s out there, and maybe it’ll be helpful for authors too who want to know what to loo for in a beta!

#asks #writing #advice #beta #Anonymous

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homieswithhades · 6 years

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BTS Analysis;

I don’t even know if I can call this an unpopular opinion bc I know some people agree with this, this is more of an in-depth analysis and personal experience I guess. It’s all about bts... and its lowkey a mess. I apologise in advance for any grammar/spelling errors, and times I may contradict myself a bit. This is something that REALLY bothers me. I just want to clarify that I love bts a lot, and that I was the HUGEST STAN for a good 5ish months. I still stan them but not as much due to the following reasons.

They just don’t make good music anymore. They love yourself era was when everything turned to shit. The actual core love yourself concept is very good but,,,, it was executed really poorly.

Dna was my first comeback with them, even though I’ve been listening to them since august 2016. But when actually became a stan in April 2017, I was obsessed with them. I was so damn excited for their September 2017 cb that my standards were through the roof. During the summer they changed the logo and did the beyond the scene thing,,, that’s the first thing that kind of irked me,,, and then they did the highlight reels in the style of I need u and they were redeemed.

When love yourself her started promotions and teasers, the bar was higher than the person who edited the DNA mv. The concept pics were so unfitting??? And just lacked that aesthetic element. I dint like them at all,,,, and the album cover was,,, below standard and looked rushed and lazily designed. But when serendipity came out I loved it (and I still do) so that fuelled my expectations for the music, even though they weren’t really that damaged by the odd first impression of the album. But then DNA came out and???? I was so disappointed?????? The beat was so annoying,,, the mv was so ugly,, the outfits were ugly,,, the lyrics were weird. In other words DNA was just a straight up flop... I hoped the rest of the album would have been better but,,,, it really, REALLY wasn’t.

After love yourself her I lost a lot of interest in bts. I missed their old music so much, and I was genuinely upset over it. I didn’t follow them as closely as I used to. I started to joke about them with my friends who lost interest in bts before me, but I still missed the old bts so much. The whole Ellen show thing, all the western media like Buzzfeed and Billboard making vids and articles about bts, all the rigged award shows, it pissed me off bc they were getting famous in the US bc of their worst album that didn’t display their full potential at all!!!!

Imma just go out and say it, armys are one of the most toxic fandoms ever.

Sometimes they’re just plain disrespectful and starting arguments where they don’t belong. I wouldn’t be able to count how many times I got attacked on Twitter, Instagram and even in the YouTube comments for expressing a different opinion. I remember all the fan wars and scandals. All the mobs at airports, All the times k-fans and i-fans tried to ruin another groups reputation (I’m not saying other fans never did this, bc it was always a thing, but it was never this extreme.) and the fuckin credit card thing oh my god,,,, a huge shitstorm caused by one fandom that lasts for years on end.

When bts got really mainstream, and gained more young western fans, they really ruined bts even further for me. Not to mention all the cringey tweets and memes, they hurt to look at. I absolutely don’t mind the “you got no jams” meme or the “ExCuSE mE” one, bc theyre just pure goof from the members, but when armys took it and overused it, that’s when it started to get annoying.

Some armys genuinely think bts is the only kpop group and that the world revolves around them. They comment “annyeonghaseyo any armys here???!!!” in the most unexpected places, I deadass saw someone on my overwatch team playing quick play with the name “army.FOREVER.saranghae” yall do realise it costs 10$ to change ur blizzard username, right?

Some armys also don’t respect other kpop groups in older gens (or any other ones for that matter) and assume that bts broke through into the western world themselves, which is complete bullshit, without groups like bigbang, shinee, tvxq, shinhwa, h.o.t, seo taiji boys etc etc (and other ones I don’t know of rip) kpop would have never gotten into the western world.

I never identified as an army bc I knew they were cringey bc of my friends who were HUGE armys back in 2016 and low-key koreaboos, and I knew what the bad stans looked like, so I never associated with them, and just called myself a bts stan. But the whole western situation just got so goddamn worse. I was sick of the Americans plaguing bts for me.

I also wanna say, I know not all armys are toxic and cringey. And I respect the level headed and chill Armys, yall are doing it right.

Moving on from Armys, I noticed a change in bts themselves. Namjoon changed his stage name, which absolutely sent me. I understand the meaning behind it but for some reason I felt that he did it to be fake deep? Or woke, and that he tried to completely cover-up his past self. The other members became cocky and were always draped in all that ugly Gucci and designer shit. I knew they were being forced to act the way they were acting, bc I know them well. I know how they really are. I know that they’re good people. I know they’re very humble deep down. They had that special connection with their fans before, that made u feel like u were good friends with them, and they absolutely ruined that. They’re being forced to put on this fake image to impress you filthy Americans.

I still stan bts atm. But I stan them for their old music and the people they truly are, not who they are portrayed to be. I can’t remember when euphoria came out, but I was kinda annoyed they tried to incorporate hyyh prologue into their shitty concept. And the song was also annoying and too edm-ish (like most of their new songs, idk why their style completely changed). Anyway, when tear came out, I was still kinda off the bandwagon, and I saw the concept pics and I was surprised at how nice they were. I saw the album cover, which was still ugly but better than the previous one. Then Singularity came out and!!!!! I loved it a lot. And then fake love happened. Oof is all I have to say. But some songs on the album, were actually good. Like the truth untold, paradise and OUTRO TEAR. Outro tear will remain the best song in the love yourself trilogy.

I also feel that I have to acknowledge that for all the love yourself albums only the intro and outro were genuinely up to standard (except outro answer).

Then came love yourself answer and idol. When I found out they were collabing with niki minaj I lost it. The concept pics were ugly once again, it was supposed to a controversial comeback???? And??? It wasn’t. I’m honestly glad it wasn’t promoted.

I noticed a repetitiveness with songs on answer. The beat was off with the singing. It was all just a mess. I also noticed the amount of godddamn auto tune in the songs (eg, mic drop, fake love, idol, airplane pt.2 and others I can’t remember atm) all of bts’s old songs all sound unique and different, and they all had this “emotional” element to them, to elaborate on that, compare dna, fake love or idol to save me, I need u or young forever. Notice how dna, fake love and idol convey absolutely no emotion through the lyrics or the actual beat of the song, unlike save me, I need u or young forever, that literally have more sentimental/emotional value in the few English lines that are in the song then all of the lyrics in their 3 new title tracks combined. I think this is my most difficult point to explain bc different songs make people feel different things, but it’s no doubt that you can tell the difference between a song that’s made to appeal to the masses with no unique properties to a song that coveys deep emotion (whatever the emotion may be) through the beat, the lyrics and the sound of the vocals/rapping alike. Listen to intro nevermind, and then listen to go go and just try to tell me that im wrong.

Alos, bts seem to have incorporated auto tune into songs, especially on their vocalists. bts don’t need the auto tune bc they’re good vocalists. Also, I have to mention, the vocal line isn’t the “best” per say. they’re good vocalists but it’s nothing special. Seokjin is the best vocalist period. Jungkook’s voice is generic, and in recent songs he has been straining it to reach the notes. Taehyungs voice isn’t even that special, it’s just deep, and it only really suits ballads and R&B songs like singularity or butterfly. Jimin has a very nice voice, but again, it’s nothing extraordinary. I feel that Jin has the most vocal potential, and he doesn’t get to show it, he has this really unique voice, idk what it is about it that just??? I really love it. But to clarify, I’m not hating on their voices or saying there untalented, because they’re very talented, but most of vocal line gets too much credit. As for rap line, I think they’re one of bts’s strongest points. Namjoons style is so smooth and just overall good? It amazes me that he rapped so well over the years with a breathing problem. Hoseok is a good rapper too, his sound is unique and his adlibs add to that uniqueness in older songs, as for Yoongi, I genuinely think he’s one of the best rappers in the industry, it’s not about the speed element, it’s about his flow, his power, his emotion, everything about his rap is just amazing.

Now I wanna talk about the member’s individual popularity. The maknae line has the most stans, and quite frankly, their stans are the worst. Treat all of the members with the same love and respect. Sure, it’s perfectly fine to have a bias but to disregard the other members is just plain wrong.

Bts are human beings, first and foremost, and then there musicians second. They’re being made into media puppets and clout bait, which they absolutely don’t deserve. They deserve recognition for their good stuff, which they have PLENTY of.

All in all, I’m sick of the American attention. It’s cringey, annoying and unnecessary. Sure, bts deserve recognition but not that much of it!!!!!!

And they were being recognised for the wrong thing for fucks sake!!!! I didn’t like ANY of the new songs on answer. I only liked epiphany. And then I found out it wasn’t written by any of the members. Rip. Fans will unfortunately blindly follow, stream and like whatever they put out like blind sheep because it’s accustomed to them, bighit KNOW that they’ll make more money in America. They know no matter what bts put out, no matter how shit it is, fans will like it and itll be revenue for the company. And all the mobile games and the bt21??? Was so unnecessary?? Capitalism amirite? Quantity over quality. It’s the sad truth.

Armys tend to mix up criticism and hate. Although there is a very thin line between the two, there is a difference. Criticism is the analysis and judgement of the merits and faults of something. Hate is blind and unjustified. Hate is disliking something for no reason, or for a very invalid reason. So for example, saying; “I don’t like this apple because its bitter and im not a huge fan of bitter things” is fine to say, unlike, “FUCK THIS APPLE BECAUSE ITS BITTER, FUCK ALL APPLES” you know? It’s okay to dislike a group. It’s NOT okay to hate on a group. No one’s is going to gain anything by hate.

So, all the youtubers are reacting to bts for clout, the fandom is a fucking mess, armys are attacking other fandoms for no reason, the members lost their TRUE humbleness and neglected their real personalities and they’ve put out 3 overall bad standard albums over the course of a whole ass year.

But I still have this spark of hope for them. Why? Because I love them, they have a special place in my heart. I know they have the potential to be amazing, unique and just overall good people with their own personalities, and truly special musical abilities.

After their tour I honestly, really hope the attention dies down and they put out another good, original, album like the hyyh albums, with nice concepts, good songs, and a pleasant to look at mv. It’s really all I ask for. The old bts. I know I’ll never get them back, and I absolutely cherish their old stuff, like the bulletproof logo, bangtan boys, rap monster, hyyh, young forever, no more dream, wings, them all goofing around together and not caring about their image, their wholesome interactions with fans, and all the songs and concepts and theories that never have, and never will be recognised.

On a final note, I realise I can’t blame bts themselves entirely for this. This stuff is only partially “their fault”. Its bighit’s fault, the army’s and haters fault and the media’s fault. But, America is to blame the most. That’s all for today.

#delete

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creideamhgradochas · 6 years

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Thanks to the lovely @lenavonschweetz for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Lena, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

I believe I was like 14 or 15 (omfg it's been 10 years...). My best friend and I actually got into it together :)

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

Aaaaaah this one is difficult. I love both for different reasons. I just recently explained this to a pal, and he freaked out cuz he loved the metaphor so much lol I like to write reader inserts because I feel like a DM of DnD, kinda weaving a story - which is also why I like reading reader inserts. Because I never reader them and put myself in the Y/N slot, but rather a OC kinda version of myself, like the woman I wish I could be so to speak. But I also find there are some stories that need to be written as an OC, so I have a love for both forms.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

I really like AUs that take characters and put them in totally different situations

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

any of the stories I wrote about A7X members - yes, those are out there lol I wrote them in middle school. They are GARBAGE and so laughable

5) When is your preferred time to write?

Middle of the night - when I should be sleeping lol

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Music, mainly, whether it be lyrics or the feel of a song

7) In your Show Me Love series, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Natasha and the "Accidentally Suck His Dick Pencil™️" scenes lol

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I've fixed errors in stories, and I've considered editing couple of pieces due to severely harsh criticisms , but haven't had time to do so

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Romantically - Bucky, of course. Platonically - Nat is my favorite BFF character to write

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Unfortunately, Steve. I just haven't found a groove for him yet though I wish I had!!

12) How did you come up with the idea for the Show Me Love series?

Like everything - it was inspired by music lol I was listening to Show Me Love by the band t.A.T.u. when writing the desk scene and it just kinda stuck

13) Do you have any abandoned WIPs?

I don't have any that I've abandoned for good, but I do have a few that I had to put on the back burner because of inspiration that stalled or just flat out writer's block

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

YES. I'd really like to write sequels to Show Me Love, Never Have I Ever, and Die A Happy Man to name a few.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Before the Worst. It didn't cooperate with me, and I'm still not 100% satisfied with it.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Oh god, All of them!!! It's very hard to narrow down, but anyone who has the guts to create and share their work with the world is worthy of admiration. To be specific though, oh god, uuuummmm @sugardaddytonystark, @myattemptatfanfictioning, @plumfondler, & @papi-chulo-bucky, & @emilyevanstan (BUT I LOVE SO MANY MORE, NARROWING DOWN IS SO DAMN HARD). I'd have to go with these folks in particular because they are all so talented and kind and everything I aspire to be in a writer, honestly. They just have a way with words and world building that is A1!

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Can I say all of them? cuz if so, I'd say all of them. lol. Maybe my Loki fic Light in the Hallway. I was in a dark place and wrote it as a form of catharsis.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

M U S I C. always music.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

I am a big baby, sooooo yyyyUUUUUP

20) Which part of your Show Me Love series was the hardest to write?

The ending. I always have a hard time wrapping things up.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I have a general outline that often morphs along the way

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

people can be cruel, BUT, people can also be so kind it's uncanny. Learn to look for the light in people and just keep writing what makes you happy. Writing is not a competition, it's a passion :)

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

The Bridges of Time. I get that it's a little off the wall but I just felt an insane need to write it, I wish more people would give it a chance

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

A hobbit fanfic I wrote on AO3 - Like Flies and Spiders, probably. I started it when I was a LOT younger then picked it up again and you can tell that the first several chapters were written by a youngin and it's kinda funny lol

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Oh, always. Natasha and Wanda are based on my irl BFFs in every story I write them. I literally had a friend tell me to drop a pencil and accidentally suck my professor's dick, so there's that lol

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

OMG so I just saw this recently, and it literally made me cry: @ok-shuri-buck said "I don't know how I fell in love with you through your writing but I just want you to know it reflects your soul. I love your soul" I literally WEPT in front of my mother, it was the kindest thing anyone has ever said of my writing and it still makes me smile

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

as said in response to my 'imagine riding Bucky' drabble, and I quote, "Perfectly good fic ruined by 2nd person POV and that Y/N cop out." But I totally get that some people don't like reader fics, so ah well. To each their own.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I share them with my IRL bff @skrywolf772. he and I bounce fic ideas back and forth all the time, It's wonderful (Also, he's my basis for sassy Nat BFF just fyi)

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

A handful of people do. Like I said, my two irl BFFS, a girl from school (who I am mutuals with - love ya Lex ;P) and my mom. Idk if she knows I write fanfiction or not, but she knows I write and post on tumblr

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

probably Sam, Tony, or Thor in Never Have I Ever. I just love writing those little shits as the wackiest teammates

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Often when I get the idea for a fic, it's a single sentence that will be later in the plot, so often I find myself writing and building to that specific point. After that, I have some trouble wrapping things up (which is why I write more multi-shots than full series) but I usually use music to spur me along after I've reached that peak :)

32) What’s your favourite trope to write?

Friends to Lovers. is. mah. SHIT!!

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Oh lordy, that was like 15 years ago...but I betcha it was a Avenged Sevenfold or Escape the Fate fanfic lololololllllll

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

(don't hate me) Angst >:) it just comes easier to me than the other 2, and I find it so cathartic

#milestone celebration #ask the author #lenavonschweetz

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youtiaoshutiao · 6 years

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gotd season 2 rambles

I finished GOTD two/three weeks back but then was immediately swamped with real life work after that. Finally had time over the weekend to pen down all the thoughts swirling around my head!! I was thinking about whether to make this post or not but no one I know irl has watched this and I kind of want to remember what I felt about the drama so well. Here goes nothing!!

[Though… 慎入！！Beware of entering, for I just finished writing this post and I’m boggled at how utterly long + incoherent + messy this post is]

- I was rather worried about how Jingyao would play into the whole picture marrying into 楚王府. But in the end I guess it wasn’t thaaaaat bad (minus uhm, her poisoning Li Chu to force Zhenzhu to leave.) I can deal with drama like external factors forcing my OTP apart but what I can’t deal with is if the OTP itself fractures apart. So (at least in my pov) even though the director did all that annoying slow-mo spinning around in circles thing with Jingyao, my intepretation of Li Chu’s 眼神 wasn’t one of 动心/暧昧 and instead was just concern/maintaining a distance so I guess I wasn’t that mad about it….???

- OTP~~ OTP!! Jing Tian is so beautiful with her hair down :3

- TBH i enjoyed watching Li Chu and Zhenzhu in the battlefield and all that pining and stuff but I found the way they ended up there kind of… contrived. Though what Jingyao says does have its element of truth, but really?!?! Poisoning?!?! Internal drama?! Couldn’t it have been a more… dramatic reason? Like maybe a political maneuvre making Zhenzhu realise that Li Chu will be ‘burdened’ with her around or smth, then maybe Jingyao coming in to stir the pot, then Zhenzhu making the choice to leave. I just felt that the whole poisoning thing was kind of loophole-y. If Moyan Chou can research and link it back to Jingyao, shouldn’t Li Chu be perfectly capable of doing so too? Yet in those two years he never suspected anything. Though maybe it could be explained by him being too blinded with anger and disappointment at Zhenzhu that he just focused on his princely work in those years rather than sparing any thought on his love life. And I’m not sure how this whole matter ended up being resolved? When Li Chu found out and confronted Zhenzhu about it, she was still all ‘I can’t return back to you because you might come to harm if I break the oath I swore’… But in the end they just kind of ignored it? (after confronting Jingyao). Hm or maybe I missed something hahaha.

- still the whole arc with them on the battlefield/her becoming the Empress of Yan was still quite entertaining hehe. Pining! Fraught looks! Tears! Angst! I must say that Mao Zi Jun was much better in S2 than S1. In S1 his acting just seemed to be glaring and sticking out his eyeballs hahaha. I guess his forte is in all the emotionally charged scenes… Though I still don’t really care for An Qingxu. Also Zhenzhu’s outfit in the Yan empire was quite pretty too :3

- On a really random note, lives if you are not a main character in this drama (though actually who am I kidding… you don’t escape from death being a main character here *coughing fit*) are so worthless. I swear there are people dropping dead like flies in every episode… TBH back in the Uyghur ‘you-killed-my-father-prepare-to-die’ arc of the first season, I kind of couldn’t deal with how so many of Li Chu’s men died along the way of Li Chu searching for Zhenzhu because Li Chu refused to rest/take a chill pill when weather conditions sucked.

- It’s really a pity that they had to resort to excessive greenscreen and body doubles in the last Uyghur arc because it was really quite obvious and kind of affected immersion in the story. I’m guessing Jing Tian couldn’t make it for that filming period? Or maybe they were rushing and had to be split up across filming groups. Like… it was quite jarring to have everyone else in the scene then bam! Switch over to Zhenzhu awkwardly greenscreened in. Or some scenes where it was obvious that Allen wasn’t even interacting with Jingtian but rather a body double.

- Moyan Chou x Li Chu. Ouchhhhhh (especially since cracks kind of appeared in their friendship with Li Chu marrying Dugu and Zhenzhu using Moyan Chou to get a divorce from Li Chu). I’m really impressed by Allen’s acting ;_; like of course he’s still kind of raw in places but like wow there’s a 灵气 to his acting and he is exceptional considering how it’s his second time playing male lead. Of a 92 episode drama, no less. In the scene where Moyan Chou and Li Chu drink together for the last time, his tears just kept on flowing non stop! Idk if anyone who reads this has the same experience of using the cliche phrase ‘他的眼泪像断了线的珍珠纷纷落下’ (his tears flowed down like a broken string of pearls) in chinese compositions in primary school but that’s the first thing that popped to my mind when I saw this scene hahaha.

- anyway, compared to this drama’s standard death bgm 荣耀, it was a nice touch to change it up to 为江山 which fit perfectly with the setting and nature of Moyan Chou’s death. It was pretty goosebump inducing when the music crashed over the speakers as he slumped down and the entire congregation of people at that intersection of stones (?!?!) began kneeling and wailing.

- again props to Jing Tian’s and Allen’s acting. Though Jing Tian wasn’t that consistent in all the crying scenes (though she has so many it’s kind of hard to be hahaha) but i really think they handled the growth and development of their characters quite well. The Zhenzhu and Li Chu you see at the end of s2 are tangibly different from them at the start. Even if they banter with each other, it’s very different in vibes from the early days - more measured and serious. And the change happened quite subtly? imo at least :3

- personally felt the whole way the showdown with Empress Zhang took place was kind of… anticlimatic… but I guess that’s kind of how it went down in history hahaha oh wells.

- hints of how even though Li Chu became emperor, there’s still trouble looming in the distance with Li Fuguo still maintaining power etc. was kind of disturbed reading real history because the image of Daizong having to pander to eunuchs and all that kind of isn’t really aligned with the capable Li Chu we see in the drama (oh the woes of dramatisation of historical characters - i felt the same reading commentary about 14th prince back in the day after watching/reading bbjx) but i was thinking about it and i realised that i can kind of accept that! because there were quite a few scenes throughout the drama where Li Chu was lamenting about how he feels so helpless because he can’t do anything about the political situation/corruption/etc, how even though he has the acumen to perceive and see what all the parties are doing to procure power for themselves he cannot do anything about it. so taking this aspect of Li Chu into context - how he definitely is smart and capable, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t susceptible or is invincible given how the entire tang court is deeply mired in politics and power play, i guess it’s not that far of a stretch to link this Li Chu to the Daizong in history books (who wasn’t a baaad emperor too anyway)

- the whole Zhenzhu being 油尽灯枯 at the end was also kind of… random and a little contrived imho but given her life circumstances i guess it can be justified and is a logical way to end things, since they do ultimately have to adhere to the historical ending of Zhenzhu going missing and Daizong never electing an empress during his rule. (I have to say, my favourite arc in this entire drama was probably the 10+ eps of separation when the Anshi rebellion kicked in, because the conflict felt very real and organic and the stakes felt really high, so the senses of urgency/loss/anxiety/despair were really heightened.)

contrived as it may be to me, that didn’t stop me from feeling deeeeeep despair and sorrow through the last few eps ;_; him making longevity noodles for her; them being in the same space that holds so much meaning to both of them, the little wooden hut where she professed her love for him, yet both of them lost in their own separate thoughts; them weeping their own separate tears; him holding her as she takes an afternoon nap, knowing that this is probably one of the last times he can do so…

and his coronation ceremony/the day she leaves for good from his life. their last hug - he was the very definition of 依依不舍 ): Him walking down the aisle (HAHA is that what it’s called) of the Tang courts, dressed in stately regal emperor garb, the world is his yet he is so utterly alone. 所谓“高处不胜寒”! (haha though this line was not yet in existence during Tang)

and the ending was so poetic in all its tragedy and hit all my buttons hahaha. Him dressing as a cart driver to send her off for the last time → !!!, her stopping at 醉仙楼 and coming out of the carriage to take a look at the place where her and her Donglang first met → !!!!!! (I think this really got to me because I have a huge fondness for their entire first meeting haha. And this + how she hallucinated Dong Lang in that red outfit when she was semi-conscious to me kind of shows how ultimately she loves Dong Lang for who he is as an adult, and not because he is her 太湖公子 from her childhood, which is very important to me?!) And lastly Li Chu riding on his horse, surveying the mountains and landscape that Zhenzhu disappeared into, the 江山 that he owns… aka really ‘一人一马一江湖’, as the drama oh so helpfully foreshadowed for us in the first few episodes.

- Since I’ve mentioned 为江山, as I’ve said before, I really love the OSTs in the drama! But while previously the bigger ‘hits’ (in a sense) like 夙念 and 荣耀 were stuck in my head, these past two weeks, I can’t help but keep on replaying 素颜 and 唐韵 on loop. (though I still enjoy all the songs - except maybe the Jike Junyi one which is still not bad but just doesn’t get to me like all the other songs do… maybe because it was never played in any scene throughout the drama? (except the ending credits of s2. which I skipped everytime.) (speaking of which, s2′s opening theme song became 荣耀 but they didn’t correspondingly change the opening sequence which was so nicely timed to 为江山, which is also more regal and had more oomph more befitting of an opening track!! that was quite sad ):))

And especially for 素颜 (Unadorned Beauty), omgggg the lyrics nearly killed me when I sat down to properly read it at the end of the drama. It’s played twice in the drama - once in the beginning when Zhenzhu and Lin Zhi were sitting for the consort selection tests and once in the end when Zhenzhu leaves the palace (and Donglang) permanently for good. And omg the lyrics really fit perfectly?!?!

→ The verse/first part of the song: “你是春的使节让残雪融解 / 染成青黛的天等著细雨停歇 / 你素颜裹着云烟诗意了远方湿润了心 / 闭上眼姹紫嫣红都不觉甜只为你的容颜” - basically just really beautiful lyrics about how you are the envoy of spring melting the remnants of snow and how your bare-faced/unadorned beauty bundled in mist lends poetic flavour to the distance and how all the beautiful flowers pale in comparison to your beauty blablabla. The first half of the chorus too: “豁然间春光如练 / 渲染了你的出现 / 最留恋不是云巅 / 是千万里朝颜和暮雪” The whole song just describes Zhenzhu to me, and in these particular lyrics I think about Zhenzhu in the early episodes, fresh and dewy-faced, dressed in pale pinks and whites. I’m just imagining the verse + first chorus being Li Chu’s inner monologue about Zhenzhu and my heart feels all squishy kyaaaaaaaaa

→ The second half of the chorus: “梦回间春光流泻 / 归去在落花时节 / 待离别青空绵绵 / 你会成山水间那一点如烟” basically talking about how as time passes, she will leave when the flowers fall, and become a dot in the landscape like a wisp of smoke… how apt ;_; and okay here I’m just babbling nonsense but like all the terms like “青空” “山水” “如烟” really fits her costuming in the last few eps which had 水墨/ink wash painting vibes

(↑ i’m probably overthinking this way too much ahaha)

[on another note, some other particular lines in some of the other songs that I just really liked (i have random feels for sentences that I think are really poetic. though it may only be me who thinks so hahaha)

为江山：“挥手时飞扬飘零的黄沙蜿蜒于驰骋豪情的天下” and “铿锵的温柔忠义的绵绸此情动我幽幽” like all the juxtaposition between toughness and softness… (uhhh it made more sense in my head). this entire song is Li Chu’s life ;_;

唐韵：okay no I went to search up the lyrics again and I want to copy the entire thing over HAHA. I love how the lyrics, true to the setting of the drama and the name of the song (how do you translate 韵 properly? it’s such a nice word haha), incorporate elements of Tang inside it. “釉烧出多色绚丽的斑斓” or “浸润出三彩交融的璀璨” - mentions of pottery/sancai glaze that flourished during Early Tang. Or “昔繁华已苍芜” - befitting the backdrop of the drama - Tang the flourishing golden dynasty at the precipice of its dwindling. And for some reason I just love phrases like “静谧千年的思念” and the whole of the second half of the chorus: “愿你记得穿梭人浪中一瞥 / 临摹也不能复刻你容颜 / 墨浓映画眉 / 朱红落点唇 / 只盼伴来生共偎”

为你成全：my favourite line is “锦绣长安夜 / 似昙花惊艳”!!

i think i just really like imagery in lyrics hahaha. i like 荣耀’s lyrics a lot too. in comparison i actually think the lyrics of 夙念 and some parts of 为你成全 are pretty standard drama ost fare… though they still serve their purpose well in inducing appropriate feels in various scenes.

–

This series of bloopers/original voice clips released by one of the production companies attached to this show is like a soothing balm to an injured heart after watching the ending. And the last video in this series - aww the entire team really put in so much effort to film this show, and it shows in the acting, the props, the sets, the costuming, the music (excluding awkward greenscreen and s2 editing). ANDDD watch from 13:52 onwards!!! A small Easter egg - Allen’s original soft soft voice going “珍珠，你总算回来了……” welp I’m gone

s2 was ultimately a lot weaker in many aspects than s1, and tbh the entire plot of GOTD is riddled with well trodden tropes. But I still have so much fondness and love and feels for this 92 episode drama I mainlined in three weeks (and then promptly regretted because real life came cascading down on me soon after that) :3 It’s definitely an engaging drama that had quite a lot of effort put into its making, and with it’s length there’s something for everyone - (1) an otp that will make you squee (2) endless angst, tears and misery (3) palace politics that are relatively quite complex for it’s 古言 status (4) some harem-esque drama for 后宫戏 fans (5) battle scenes, war tearing apart otp bringing about more angst… et cetera. Considering how I quit dramas at a drop of a hat, I’m pretty impressed that I managed to complete this haha xD

shall end off with a short 花痴楼！

《帅帅的殿下SHOWTIME!》

虽然在跟别的女人转圈圈但仍非常帅气的殿下！

微醺醺的新郎装殿下！

睹物思人的殿下！

穿上盔甲，眼带杀气的殿下！

闭着眼，姹紫嫣红都不觉甜的殿下！

超级无敌苏的殿下！

化身为大厨的殿下！

I wanted to take more screenshots but I shall just end here, because I scrolled up and got a huge shock seeing exactly just how much babble I spouted. I’m kind of horrified?! Omg anyone who reads this to the end, I’m sorry for all my incoherent rambling :3

#the glory of tang dynasty #大唐荣耀 #cdrama #jing tian #allen ren #任嘉伦 #景甜 #drama watching #random thoughts

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sophia1644 · 7 years

Text

Kiss Me

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Warnings: a little teensy bit of swearing (okay maybe a bit more than a teensy bit), mentioning of dirty things

Summary: Scott and Stiles have been best friends for as long as they can remember, Y/N eventually joining into their scared bond as well. After a while of not seeing her friends, they hang out one night, testing Scott’s abilities in the woods. Stiles and Y/N are alone as Scott runs off, and some weird hidden feelings arise.

A/N: A little bit of a loooong one for you lovelies. I really enjoyed writing this one. Idk it just popped in my mind, so hope you enjoy. P.S. I have no idea what I’m doing and how to get my writing more out into the tumblr-verse so if u have any tips hit me up, lol.

KISS ME

I smiled as I saw Stiles’s blue Jeep pull up into my driveway, hopping off my bedroom windmill, and grabbing a coat from my closet.

I had no idea what my two crazy best friends would get me into today, but I’d been bored all week, stuck in bed. I had a major cold, and my mom was one of those who overreacted at the slightest cough, so I hadn’t seen the boys for a while.

I ran down my front steps, grinning as Stiles and Scott waved at me from inside the car.

I opened up the back door, climbing in as swiftly as possible. I noticed them watching me intently, until I spoke up.

“What’s up?” I asked.

They looked at each other, Scott outreaching his hand towards Stiles as I knit my eyebrows. What the hell was going on?

“Pay up,” Scott said confidently.

Stiles groaned, making a funny face at him, then leaning over and digging in his jean pocket for a dollar bill.

“What is going on?” I ask, completely confused by the whole situation.

“We bet on you,” Scott replied.

“What?!” I shout.

“We bet on if you would cough or talk first,” Stiles added. “I said you would cough because,” he groans, “I don’t know- I just thought you would.”

I roll my eyes, thinking how ridiculous these boys were for wagering money on something so stupid. I put the reminder to never take either of them gambling in the back of my mind.

“So where are we going?” I ask, curious of their antics.

“Well,” Scott responds, “I wanted to do some tests on, you know, myself. Since the whole wolf bite thing, I can hear better and shit. I want to test it out more.”

A couple days before I was sick, Scott and Stiles had called me about them going out to find a dead body, which I refused since I wasn’t going to be dragged into that nonsense. I’d gotten in trouble by Sheriff Stilinski countless times because of them, and that night I just wasn’t in the particular mood.

So, of course being the imbeciles that they are, they still went without me even though I expressed how idiotic the idea was.

After a few hours, Stiles had called me, panting over the phone and failing to create a coherent sentence.

I remember distinctly feeling sick to my stomach, knowing that something wrong happened, and I forced myself out of bed asking him for his exact location and saying I’d be there in a few minutes.

And now here we are. With new and improved Scott.

“Hey, Y/N, you kind of zoned out on us there,” Scott said as Stiles waved his hands in front of my face wildly.

I look up, meeting their eyes. “Oh, yeah, sorry.”

Stiles looks at Scott questioningly. “Maybe she’s a little too out of it to do this, tonight,” I heard him say.

“I kind of feel bad though,” Scott replies. “We haven’t been able to hang out in so long. I felt bad that we didn’t visit.”

“Guys!” I force their attention on me. “You know I’m right here!”

They look at me, their expressions not wavering. “Oh, hi Y/N, didn’t see you there,” Stiles says playfully.

“God, you’re so funny, I forgot to laugh.”

“I know, I can be pret- wait what,” Stiles mutters.

I turn to Scott. “I’m down to do whatever weird ass things you want me to do, tonight,” I state, because I was really not planning on being bored, scrolling through tumblr for another night.

“That sounded really kinky,” Scott laughs. I roll my eyes, sighing. Boys.

“Stiles can you just get Roscoe going?” I ask, getting annoyed of how long we’d been still sitting in my driveway.

“Remember that this was your choice,” Stiles warns. “You gave consent, Y/N.”

I scrunch up my face, looking at Scott as we both knew how wrong that sounded. Stiles didn’t catch on until he paused, looking at us in horror.

“I did not-”

I pat him on his shoulder. “Yep, bud, you totally just did.” The smallest hint of red fills his cheeks as he looks away and starts backing up the Jeep, muttering to himself about how he should think before he says things more often.

…

Later on, Roscoe pulls into the woods, somewhere I hadn’t even thought we would end up tonight.

“We’re good, right?” I ask.

“What?” Scott and Stiles look at me bewildered.

“Like you’re not trying to kill me or anything to get back at me for that one time in second grade when I opened the c-”

“Stop!” They both yell at me simultaneously.

“Y/N, we agreed to never speak of that ever again,” Stiles says in a hushed tone, his hand moving to emphasize his words.

“Okay, okay,” I retort, my hands up in the air in mock fear.

“Okay now for the fun.” Stiles smirks, pulling out a creepy looking leather notebook.

“What the hell is that?” I ask, pointing towards the worn thing in his hands.

Stiles looks at me, confused before seeing my hand. “Oh, it’s the wolf journal.”

“The what?” I ask again, hoping I didn’t hear right the first time.

“The wolf journal.” Yup, hearing is perfectly normal.

I look to Scott for some explanation, but he gives me a look. “Trust me, I didn’t choose the name,” he says, chuckling.

“Okay,” Stiles starts, running his finger down the crinkled paper. I wonder how long this notebook has been around. His finger stops as he jabs it into the notebook. “Our next step of ‘Testing Scott’s Wolf Abilities’ is…”

I walk up next to him, standing on my tip toes to peer over his shoulder. “You actually titled the page, ‘Testing Scott’s Wolf Abilities’?” I ask incredulously.

“Yeah, it’s nice right?”

“Yeah, just flows off the tongue real nicely,” I reply, sarcasm dripping from my lips.

Stiles’s eyes narrow at me, his lips tightening. He points an accusing finger my way. “Hey, sarcasm is supposed to be my thing,” he says while pointing back towards himself. “Not yours.”

I roll my eyes for the umpteenth time today, stepping back. I make my way to Roscoe, placing my hands on the hood and getting the right amount of leverage before pushing myself up, even though Scott offers me help. I refused, because I’m my own independent woman.

“Okay, back to the plan,” Stiles drawls. Scott and I look at one another, our eyes widening at how long this is taking.

Finally Stiles finds the next bullet point, shouting out, “Hearing!”

“Okaaay,” I respond, “How are we going to help Scott with that?”

“I made this super incredible plan,” Stiles begins. “So, Y/N goes over in that direction and starts sprinting and Scott goes over there in that direction. We make her run far enough away that you wouldn’t be able to heat her if you were human, which obviously once upon a time you were but now-”

“Stiles,” I stop him, grabbing his hand that was flying through the air, his actions mimicking his every word.

“I’m just going to run over there,” Scott says. “And Y/N is going to scream because I can recognize that sound from anywhere.”

Stiles and Scott laugh, fist-bumping at the mention of the many heart attacks they’d given me in the past years with their endless, obnoxious pranks.

I had a habit of screaming whenever I was scared, so yeah, I assume it was a noise Scott was somewhat accustomed to.

“Okay, just start whenev-”

And he’s gone,“ Stiles finishes as Scott sprints out into the woods, away from the clearing.

I look up at Stiles. “When should I scream?” I ask questioningly.

“I don’t know, whenever he gives us a sign. I guess we just have to wait fo-”

Stiles stops as we hear the sound of a wolf howling, immediately recognizing it as Scott.

“And there it is. Y/N, just scream whenever.”

I smirk, about to begin when I look at Stiles looking down at me nonchalantly. I grab his hands and place them on either side of his head, covering his ears.

“I don’t want to be the cause of your hearing loss,” I explain and he nods.

I throw back my head, doing an easy task, screaming my lungs out.

I just imagine the last scary movie that Stiles forced me to watch with him, the memory of me jumping out of my seat at that one scene where the killer popped into the screen out of no where.

I finish, my lungs not being able to take it any longer. I smile to myself, almost proud of how loud I managed to get.

I checked if Stiles was okay and he stretched out his jaw. “Damn, I bet the whole town heard that one.”

I giggle, pushing him in the chest playfully. I look up into his warm brown eyes. “Now what?”

“Now, we wait for Scott to come back.”

“Great, how long is that going to take?”

“Hopefully, not too long.”

“I hope your hoping is enough hope.”

“What?” Stiles asks, his chocolate hair falling into his eyes as he quickly looks down at me.

I raise my hand up to it, instinctively pushing it back. Stiles looks at me with wide eyes and I soon realize my mistake, pulling my hands off his chest and away from the freckled boy.

I spin around, my back to him as my cheeks heat up. I nearly never blushed, but the embarrassment flowing through me at the moment was too intense to handle.

“Y/N, can I touch your hair too?” Stiles asks, his voice small, but still loud enough for me to comprehend.

I twirl back around, stunned at the odd request. “I guess it’s only fair,” I reply, laughing lightly.

He walks towards me, one of his hands resting against my cheek and the other combing through my hair.

“Even softer than it looks,” he muses.

I chuckle, the close distance between us causing my breathing to pick up pace. Wondering where the hell all of this came from. Stiles was the last person I assumed to feel all flustered by, especially since he had that thing for Lydia.

It would never work, so I just pulled away from his touch, regretting it as soon as his eyes filled with disappointment.

“Did I walk in on something?” Scott asks, his laugh lightening the mood.

“Nope,” I lie, my mouth curving up into a smile. I can’t help, but notice Stiles tense up in the corner of my vision. “So did you hear me?”

“Yeah I ended up running all the way down to the Hale house.”

“Wait, isn’t that miles from here?” I ask, stunned.

“Yeah, its crazy. I still heard you perfectly,” he replies, with the same amount of bewilderment as me.

“So I guess you are really a werewolf, huh?”

“I guess so,” Scott replies, eying Stiles up and down and looking at me with his eyebrows raised.

Stiles was focusing on his shoes, being completely unlike himself by not contributing to the conversation, and of course his best friend noticed that.

I mouth to him, “Don’t ask.” His eyebrows quirk even higher, but I assume he won’t due to how forcefully I stared at him the whole awkward car ride to his house.

Roscoe stops in front of the McCall house, and Scott hugs you goodbye while giving Stiles a punch to the shoulder.

Normally, my first instinct would be to crawl over the middle console to the front passenger seat, but I hesitated, thinking that it would cause even more awkward tension between me and Stiles.

He silently started driving towards my house, catching my eyes in the rear view mirror a few times, both of us always quickly looking away.

Once he stops the car, I unbuckle my seatbelt, uttering a thank you and opening the door, when I feel a tug in my wrist.

I look down to see Stiles’s hand wrapped around it. “Can we talk about earlier?” He asks.

I nod hesitantly, praying that this couldn’t get any more awkward than it already was.

I still exit the car though, except instead of leaving, I just change my seat so I’m shotgun so it’s easier for us to talk.

We sit in silence for a few seconds, neither of us wanting to speak first.

“Y/N, I’m extremely confused. Like more confused than when Scott became a werewolf, which still is pretty confusing, but now my other best friend is getting thrown into this confusing mess and I’m just confused,” Stiles rambles, playing with his hands and shifting in his seat multiple times.

I wasn’t sure if it made my heart swell or hurt seeing him like this. It was strange for him to be so flustered, as he was normally so open with me.

“To be completely honest, I’m quite confused myself, Stiles.”

“Fuck,” he swears and I’m taken aback a bit, not expecting how loud it comes out.

“Sorry, it’s just that even the way you say my fucking name- just fuck, Y/N.” I look up at his freckled face, watching the gears turn in his head.

How did I even say his name? What was wrong with me saying his name?

“The fuck is going on?” I question, done with the avoidance of what was clearly to come. I hated confrontation, but we had to actually have a conversation instead of making this even more confusing.

“Fuck, I never thought I’d get over her,” he mutters.

“Lydia?” I ask, shocked that he would even think about getting over her, knowing how deep in love he was with her.

He turns, facing towards me and sucking in a deep breath. “Y/N I think I might like you.”

My eyes widen, wondering how this night went so weird so fast. My best friend who has been madly in love with one girl his whole life, just said he may like me. And what’s the most weird is that I feel my heart beating faster at his words.

I try to patch words together to say something in response, but nothing seems to form as I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I know you may not feel the same way and that’s totally acceptable. I also know that this really sudden and all, but since we’re best friends I wanted to let you know immediately so you weren’t blindsided and all…” Stiles rambles on and I bite my lip, spinning the necklace I was wearing between my two fingers.

Stiles is looking down at his hands, still fiddling with them as he continues his speech.

“… even if you don’t feel the same way, I’d appreciate if you just told me now, so I could get over it and our friendship could go back to normal and ugh, this is so incredibly weird, but I hope you’ll still be my friend even after all the stupid shit that’s sputtering out of my mouth right n-”

I cut him off by bending forward and making him lose his focus on his intense rambling, his eyes darting to mine.

“Kiss me,” I say, my breath hitting his lips due to the close proximity.

“Are you sure, Y/N?” Stiles asks, rubbing his palms against his jeans.

“I’m so absolutely sure,” I whisper back.

He doesn’t take another moment and leans in, his lips ghosting over mine for a moment until they meet. He grins against my lips as he plants a sweet kiss against them.

We pull apart and his hand raises to my cheek, rubbing a pattern in it with his thumb.

“Stiles, I think I might like you too.”

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