#idk how many times I can go searching for the body of my suicidal friend. i don’t want to be the one to find him
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Forever Just Isn’t Enough - George Weasley
Title: Forever Just Isn’t Enough
Pairing: George x Fem!Reader
Warnings: NSFW!! Fingering, female receiving oral, unprotected sex, dirty talk, cockwarming, feeling full kink ?? again idk if that’s a real thing but oh well
Extra Warnings: major character death!! Minor character death. Slightly alcoholism, unhealthy coping mechanisms, grief and dealing with grief, one comment that could allude to suicide, mentions of death and infant loss, mentions of blood and blood loss. Mentions of injuries. Mentions of childbirth.
Summary: just when things seem like they can finally fall into place, everything nearly falls apart. Will George and Y/N really get their forever? Or will their dreams crumble around them?
A/N: summary is shit but here it is! Here is its, the mammoth that is good girl part 3!! This fic has been nearly a month in the making and it is officially the longest thing I’ve ever written!! It’s 23k words so buckle up! This really is the final part, and I have definitely become attached to this universe. Everything in italics is flashbacks!! I would like to give a huge thanks to @pineapplesandpinas who left a reply on one of my posts that actually inspired this fic! I’d also like to give a huge thanks to the person who gave me some editing help and is coincidentally the person who requested this in the first place, I hope you like it!! As always feedback is welcome!
Tags: @feltondarling @pandaxnienke @raerae27 @allforthexgame @pigwidgexn @hufflrpuffforfred @wand3ringr0s3 @whiz-bangs78 @gcdric @starlightweasley @vogueweasley @theweasleysredhair @dracoswhore007 @lexymoniqu @amourtentiaa @mischiefisbeingmanaged
Read Part 1 here, Read Part 2 here
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Y/N’s chest heaves with deep breathes as she runs down a corridor, watching walls crumble as they get hit with stray curses. She used to be able to walk through Hogwarts with her eyes closed and know exactly where she was in any given moment. But now her heart hammers in her chest as she stands at the junction of two different hallways, unsure of where they’ll lead her. Y/N can hear footsteps barreling towards her, and in a moment of panic she heads to the left, gripping her wand tightly in her hand.
Her legs carry her as fast as they can down the hallway as she silently prays to find someone she knows. By the time she clambered into the room of requirement from the passageway that starts at the Hogs Head Inn preparations for the impending battle were already in full swing and the Order was spread out around the entire castle. Y/N had caught a flash of red hair as she helped Cho Chang cast a protection spell, but by the time she turned her head it was already gone. Death Eaters reached the castle nearly 30 minutes ago, and Y/N has been on her own the entire time, casting curses and spells at them as she searched for Ginny or Hermione. For George. She’s already seen a few bodies lying still on the floor, and her heart is in her stomach with the thought that George could be one of them. Laying lifeless in some hallway all by himself.
Y/N starts to slow down as a wall approaches and she can hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears. A dead end. The footsteps behind her persist, and she has no choice but to stop as she reaches the end of the hallway, turning around to face her fate. She raises her wand as she looks at the person coming up towards her, but it falters slightly as a familiar face stops just a few feet away. “Adrian?”
Adrian grins as he takes a few steps closer to Y/N, but it’s not the same fond smile he’d shared with her many times. It’s wicked, evil almost and Y/N tries to swallow the lump that’s suddenly formed in her throat as memories of the last time she’d seen Adrian come swirling to the forefront of her mind.
Y/N turns around when she feels a tap on her shoulder, a wide smile on her face. Seven years of hard work has all lead to this: graduation day. She feels absolutely euphoric, and when she turns around and spots Adrian she pulls him into a hug – too excited to second guess herself. It’s the first time they’ve hugged in nearly half a year and while it feels familiar, it’s mostly awkward.
After the conversation Y/N and George had on the train ride back to school from winter break Y/N really made a conscious effort to start a new life with George. The way they had been operating as a couple was only leading them towards disaster, and they were both willing to do anything to avoid that possibility.
The main change they made together was to spend more time together as a couple that didn’t involve getting rid of their clothes. Instead of sitting with each other’s friends during meals all the time, they decided to sit on their own a few times a week so they would get a chance to just talk to each other and reconnect after a crazy day. Y/N started to spend the night over in George’s dorm with him, and while they did have sex most of the time, they took the time to just lay there and hold each other too. While Y/N was busy doing her homework in the library George would just sit there with her, sometimes working on stuff for the joke shop, but sometimes just sitting there and watching her work.
But by far the biggest change was one that rested in Y/N’s hands alone, she needed to set new boundaries with Adrian. Her friends had become her security blanket over the years, their friendship began on that first train ride to Hogwarts, when they were all nervous and scared. She relied on them heavily to be her emotional support, and when George came into her life Y/N made no efforts to change any of that. Y/N had thought George could just slip into their friend group as if he had always been there, but it quickly became clear that wasn’t the case.
Her relationship with Adrian was definitely the biggest point of contention in her and George’s relationship, and was thus the one thing that really changed. It was common for her and Adrian to be physically affectionate towards each other. An arm around the shoulders, a tight hug after a long day, even the occasional hand holding. Y/N hadn’t realized how that might hurt George, and so she put a stop to it immediately. On the occasions where she did sit with her friends at meals she stuck by Daphne’s side, instead of falling into her usual seat next to Adrian. She stopped wearing his Quidditch jumpers to their matches and she made sure to quiet his flirtatious comments, reminding him that she has a boyfriend now, and comments like that make her and George uncomfortable.
So now being close with Adrian feels too close, and while he tries to linger in her grasp Y/N pulls away with a tight grin. “I can’t believe it, we’re finally done!”
“This is the last chance we have, Y/N,” Adrian starts, placing his hands on her hips. Before Y/N can shake off his grasp Adrian lurches forward and presses their lips together.
Y/N moves her face away and tries to push Adrian off of her. “Adrian, stop. I’m with George, you know that.”
“But you could be with me. You should be with me,” Adrian tells her, tightening his grip on her hips. “That’s how it was supposed to be, Y/N. Marcus and Daphne would get married, we would get married. Our kids would grow up together, we’d stand on the same platform we met on holding hands as we send our kids off to school. I love you. And you were supposed to love me too.”
Before Y/N has a chance to respond, a familiar hand is grabbing Adrian’s shoulder and pulling him away from Y/N. George stands in between them, and while Y/N can’t see George’s face, she can tell from the way his back muscles are tensed that he’s pissed.
“What the hell are you doing, Pucey?” George spits. “Y/N doesn’t feel that way about you. She never has and she never will. If this wasn’t supposed to be a special day for her I’d knock your fucking lights out like I’ve wanted to since November. So, get the fuck out of here before I make you get the fuck out of here.”
Y/N wraps her arms around George’s neck as he turns around, watching Adrian stalk off over his shoulder.
-
“Long time no see, Y/N,” he taunts, keeping his wand pointed at her.
Y/N tightens her grip on her wand, keeping it at his chest. Their friendship may have ended in disaster, but she hopes that the years of memories they had before that keep him from doing anything. Adrian may not be the person she thought he was, but Y/N doesn’t want to hurt him. “How’ve you been?” she asks, trying to keep her voice even.
Adrian scoffs. “Don’t act like you care about me now, Y/N. You had your chance to be with me. And you gave it up, for what? True Love?” his voice is mocking, condescending and it makes Y/N’s stomach turn. “But where’s Weasley now? When you need him most?” Adrian’s eyes fall from Y/N’s face to her neck and she lets out a gasp as he places his wand on her chest and lifts up the end of her necklace with it. The tip of his wand is now directly in front of her neck, and a cold sweat runs down her back. “Still wearing this cheap necklace, I see. If you were mine you’ d be dripping with diamonds and pearls. You’d want for nothing.”
“All I want is George,” Y/N answers firmly. Y/N hasn’t taken the necklace George gave her for their first Christmas together off since the day he put it on her neck. It’s like a promise ring, it’s George’s promise of forever, and in these times she’s needed it now more than ever. “So, go head and kill me, or Crucio me, or do whatever you want. But I’m gonna die thinking about George, I’m going to die loving George. And I hope that knowledge drives you crazy for the rest of your life.” Y/N closes her eyes as Adrian’s mouth opens, getting ready to cast her own curse. But before either of them can say anything a familiar voice is casting a curse of their own.
“Stupefy!” George shouts, his wand aimed directly at Adrian’s back.
Y/N’s eyes pop back open as Adrian’s body slumps to the ground, and there George is, standing just a few feet away, his stance firm and his wand raised high. Tears start to spill down her cheeks as she steps over Adrian’s unconscious body before Y/N is running at full speed towards her boyfriend and jumping into his open arms. “Oh my god Georgie,” she sobs, pressing her face into his neck.
“Hi teacup,” he chuckles, wrapping his arms firmly around her waist. He can hear her laugh at the nickname, and George presses a kiss to Y/N’s temple. “I’ve been looking all over for you, darling. I’ve been losing my fucking mind.”
Y/N pulls away from George’s neck so she can kiss him desperately. It’s been far too long since she last saw him, and Y/N can’t help but think about the last time George held her like this.
-
“Y/N! Grab my hand!” George shouts, reaching out to her.
Y/N shouts a curse at a snatcher as she runs towards George, gripping onto his hand tightly with her own. She shuts her eyes tight as George pulls her into his chest, and it feels like all the air is being sucked from her lungs as George disapperates them to safety.
“Fucking hell,” Y/N groans as she lands on her back in the middle of a field, George landing right on top of her. George’s fingers dig into her sides and Y/N laughs as she pushes at his shoulders. “Get off of me you oaf I’m suffocating!”
They both giggle as George rolls off of Y/N, settling on his back next to her. “Are you okay, teacup?”
Y/N takes a few deep breaths, trying to find the answer to George’s question. Official Order business put them in the middle of some forest on the outskirts of Essex, and just before they were leaving they ran into a band of snatchers. They ran and fought them for nearly 20 minutes before George had managed to take them to wherever they are now.
“I’m okay,” Y/N answers honestly a few minutes later. She turns onto her side so she can look down at George. “Are you doing okay? Where are we?”
“Aunt Muriel’s house is about 100 yards north of us, we used to play Quidditch out here when we’d visit her as kids. It’s the only place I could think of that would be safe and secluded.” George reaches up and tucks a stray piece of hair behind Y/N’s ear. “I’m doing okay. Better now that I’m here with you.”
Y/N smiles at George sadly and leans down to kiss him softly. After the ministry fell Y/N left her training program at St. Mungo’s to work for the Order full time, and she was placed in a safe house up in Wales. Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes has been closed for weeks, and Fred and George have turned it into Potterwatch Headquarters. It’s now early November, and Y/N hasn’t seen George since the beginning of August at Bill and Fleur’s wedding.
“I wish I could come home,” she says quietly, running her fingers through George’s hair. He hasn’t been home for Molly to cut it and it’s starting to get long again. “It’s so lonely up in Wales without you. Feels like I can’t get a proper nights sleep without you in bed next to me.”
George grabs Y/N’s chin and pulls her down into a searing kiss. “Our bed is cold without you, teacup. Your pillow doesn’t even smell like you anymore.” He reaches up then and untucks her necklace from the collar of her shirt. “Still wearing this old thing?” he teases, toying with the charms. “I should get you something new, flashier. Even with Diagon Alley closed we’ve been doing some mail order business. And I’ve got all that savings. Could get you something nice.”
Y/N scoffs and slaps George on the chest playfully. “I love my necklace, Georgie. You act like you still don’t wear that stupid teapot pin every day,” she teases. “Teapots are kinda our thing and I love that. Besides you should spend your savings on something important. Like a new broom or something.”
“Or an engagement ring, or a wedding, or a house,” George muses with a grin. “I’m gonna end up spending it on you either way, Y/N. You take your pick.”
“Stop, don’t say that,” Y/N responds, her cheeks flushing pink.
George pulls Y/N onto his chest, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I promised you forever, didn’t I, Y/N? Once this war is over I’m going to put the fattest diamond money can buy on your ring finger and officially make you mine forever. Got it?”
“It doesn’t have to be the fattest diamond, just something simple and classy,” Y/N mumbles, pressing her face into George’s chest. She can feel his laughter rumble in his chest, and she smiles against his shirt. “I wish we could just lay here forever.”
“Me too,” George responds quietly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you. So much that it hurts sometimes. You know that, right?”
Y/N looks up at George, a look of concern on her features. “Of course, George. I love you too.”
“I just,” George pauses to clear his throat, needing to choke back the rush of emotion he’s suddenly feeling. “I need you to know, how much you mean to me. In case, in case this is the last time you ever see me. This war, everything is so uncertain. I could die, I just-,” George’s words cut off as he suddenly sobs, and hot tears start to roll down his cheeks.
“Georgie,” Y/N coos, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. She rolls off of him then onto her back, pulling George so he’s half laying on top of her with his head resting on her chest. She starts to run a hand through his hair, while the other rubs his back soothingly. “You can’t think about stuff like that, okay? I know things are scary out there but we gotta stay focused on the positive. That fat diamond and the big wedding and the house. The dog, the chickens, the babies. How am I gonna get my six little ginger babies if you die? Hm?”
“Six?” George asks with a sniffle. “I thought we agreed on four.”
“Yeah well I’ve had a lot of time to think while I’ve been on my own and I changed my mind,” Y/N chuckles. “Either way you have to stay alive in order to give me all that. So promise me George, that you’ll stay alive. That you’ll fight hard, for me. For you. For our ginger babies.”
George picks his head up and pulls Y/N’s face down to his, kissing her slowly and with so much love it makes his head dizzy. “I promise. Forever.”
-
That moment was already six months ago, but to Y/N it’s felt like a lifetime, so she hugs him a bit tighter, trying to convey six months’ worth of feelings and sentiments into one embrace. Time is not on their side, and while Y/N would happily stand here in George’s embrace for the next few weeks, if they both plan on staying alive they can’t linger too long.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Y/N asks, pulling away slightly so she can properly look at George. There’s dust and debris all over his face, she doesn’t see any blood, and as her hands roam around his torso and arms she can’t feel any bandages and he doesn’t wince at all.
George chuckles and cups Y/N’s face in one of his hands. “I’m absolutely fine, teacup. Not a scratch, I promise. Can’t give you those six ginger babies like I promised if I’m hurt, can I?”
“It’s seven now,” Y/N mumbles, pressing her face into his chest. “And I want a sheep too.”
“And a sheep? That’s it, that’s where I draw the line,” George teases, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “What about you? Are you okay, Y/N? I thought Adrian. I thought Adrian was gonna kill you.”
Y/N shudders at the thought of what might have happened and looks up at George. There’s so much that’s happened since they last spoke, so much she needs to tell him. But now is certainly not the time or place for it. Once they get through this night they’ll have the rest of their lives to be together, heal together. “I’m doing alright. Better now that I’ve seen you. Have you seen anyone else?”
George shakes his head. “Fred and I got separated a bit ago, I saw him with Percy not too long ago, just before I found you. Ginny was on bridge duty with Neville and Seamus so who knows where she ended up. Dad and Mum were in the Great Hall when I left them, and I haven’t seen Ron, Hermione or Harry since the preparations began. But honestly I haven’t been paying attention too much. I’ve been trying to find you, teacup. I was worried when you didn’t show up in the room of requirement.”
“I was on duty, with Tonks. By the time we got the memo and got over here stuff was already going on, people were running around and making preparations and stuff. I tried to find you, but Cho needed my help. I’ve been running around this damn castle trying to find you,” Y/N explains.
Just then a wall somewhere near them collapses, and George covers Y/N’s head with his body. George kisses Y/N again as the dust around them settles, needing to feel close to her for another moment. “I love you. I love you. I love you,” he murmurs, pressing a brief kiss to her lips between each set of words. His eye catches the shine of her necklace and George reaches up, feeling the charms between his fingertips. “Just a little bit longer until we can have our forever, yeah?”
“As long as you don’t die on me,” Y/N tries to tease, digging her fingers into George’s shoulders. The fear bubbling in her stomach creeps into her voice, and she rubs her thumb over the teapot pin stuck to the lapel of George’s jacket, needing to ground herself with something familiar. “You can’t die on me, George.” Y/N can feel tears running down her cheeks, but she doesn’t move to wipe them away, not wanting to let go of George, even for a second. “I can’t live without you.”
“You’re my everything,” George murmurs, cupping Y/N’s cheek so he can brush away some of her tears with his thumb. “And you’re never getting rid of me. Got that?”
Y/N nods and leans up on her tiptoes to press one last kiss to George’s mouth. “I’ll see you on the other side, yeah?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
-
Y/N runs as fast as her legs will carry her back to the Great Hall. It’s been hours since she saw George and her hands haven’t stopped shaking since Voldemort started to speak to them, urging them to stop fighting and collect their dead. George could be one of those dead and even though Y/N’s eyes are blurry from the tears she’s shedding, she doesn’t stop to wipe them away. She feels like she can’t breathe, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s running. Y/N knows she won’t be able to properly breathe until she sees George again, so she just keeps moving.
Her legs are on fire when she reaches the Great Hall and as she pushes the heavy wooden door open her legs finally come to a screeching halt. There are makeshift gurneys all over the floor, some covered, some not. But Y/N is sure the one thing they have in common is the fact that there’s a dead body laying on top of it. She tries not to let herself linger on their faces too long, just trying to spot a shock of red hair.
That’s when she sees it. The Weasley family is at the other end of the Great Hall, standing around one of the gurneys. Y/N can see Bill and Fleur clutching each other, and everyone has tears in their eyes. She can’t see who’s laying on the ground, but as she lets her eyes pass over everyone a gut-wrenching sob leaves her throat as one thing becomes clear. It’s one of the twins. Whichever one is still alive has their back towards her with their head bowed, so she has no idea who it is.
Y/N’s knees quiver as she forces herself to walk over there, bile rising up her throat. He had promised. George had promised her forever. Had promised her that he’d stay alive. Had promised to spend the rest of his life loving her. They had planned out their entire life, and now that may be all gone.
“George. George, please,” Y/N chokes out as she approaches, her legs feeling like jelly. Whoever it is finally turns around, and Y/N takes her first full deep breath in what feels like forever.
“Teacup,” George cries as Y/N launches herself onto him, his arms wrapping around her waist to hold her close. He presses his face into her neck and just sobs, his shoulders shaking from the force of his tears.
Y/N starts to shush George and rub his back, trying desperately to soothe him. It has always been Fred and George. The only person she ever had to share George with was Fred and she never minded a bit. Fred and George were the most dynamic duo the Wizarding World has ever seen, destined to live out the rest of their days making the world laugh and causing chaos wherever they go. But now it’ll be just George, and Y/N has no idea how to make that okay.
Fred and Y/N certainly had their issues. Years of hating someone will do that to you, and when she and George started dating it became a silent agreement between them to be civil. But now, looking at Fred’s pale face over George’s shoulder, Y/N can feel her momentary relief rush out of her body, and overwhelming sadness takes its place as fresh hot tears start to roll down her cheeks.
Her and Fred had just barely started to come together when the war started, and now they’ll never have that chance again.
-
“He’s fine you know,” Fred comments as he comes to stand next to Y/N. “You’re looking at him as if he’s going to fall apart into a million tiny pieces with a hard gust of wind.”
Y/N chuckles, and finally looks away from George so she can look up at Fred. Bill and Fleur’s wedding is in full swing, and while Y/N knows this is supposed to be a time to celebrate, a rare moment of sunshine in the darkness of the Wizarding World, panic settled deep in her stomach the moment she stumbled into the Burrow with Ron and saw George lying on the couch, bleeding out of his head and it hasn’t left since. Had the curse been aimed half a centimeter to the left they’d be at a funeral right now, not a wedding. Molly had managed to heal George up fine, and he’s been his usual jovial self over the few days it’s been since his injury, but Y/N can’t help but still worry.
“It makes me feel better,” Y/N admits honestly, letting her eyes find George again. “I’m afraid that if I look away for too long he’ll just disappear. That all my fears will be confirmed and there will forever be a George sized hole in my heart and my life.” Y/N swallows thickly, trying to push away the tears threatening to spill over her cheeks. “He could have died, and I truly wouldn’t know what to do with myself if that happened.”
“I thought he was dead,” Fred says after a few moments of silence, surprising Y/N. “When Dad and I got back he asked where George was, and no one said anything. Remus, Harry, they all just looked at us. I figured he was dead. That’s why they wouldn’t tell us. There was so much blood when we got in there, I actually thought he was dead. And then he moved, and it felt like I could breathe again.”
Y/N worries her bottom lip between her teeth as she watches George fiddle with the gauze wrapped around his head. She wants to just go over there and slap his hands away and remind him he has to keep it clean if he wants it to heal, a conversation she already had to have with him this morning after she found him sipping coffee in the kitchen with his toothbrush sticking out of the side of his head.
“It’s my fault. I wasn’t even supposed to go. But Tonks is pregnant, and she shouldn’t be putting her life on the line like that. Not even for blimin’ Harry Potter. George tried to convince me not to go. Said he’d worry about me too much if I was out there.” Y/N shrugs, taking a long sip of champagne. “Maybe if I had stayed here like I was supposed to he would have been able to dodge the curse, or he’d have been focused enough to send Snape out of the sky before he even got a chance to hurt George.”
Fred nudges Y/N with his elbow so she’ll look up at him. “You like, really love him, don’t you?”
Y/N rolls her eyes. “Really? It took George almost dying for you to realize that? Figured your first clue would have been all the times you heard us having sex. Or maybe the fact that I’ve been living with you guys for over a year now.”
“Okay, no need to be nasty,” Fred huffs. “Obviously I know you guys are in love with each other or whatever. But you’re like really in it, yeah? For the long haul. Thought maybe you guys shouting about how you’re going to be together forever was just some weird sex thing.”
“I mean it is a weird sex thing,” Y/N tells him, laughing as he grimaces. “But it’s more than that too obviously. There’s no person on this planet I’d rather be with than George. Or who I love more than George. He’s my everything, Fred. I’m not going to hurt him, I promise.”
“Better not,” Fred mumbles with a scoff. “I’ll curse you into next week if you do, bloody girl or not.”
Y/N can hear the smile in Fred’s voice, but before she gets a chance to respond George is heading over towards them, looking far too pleased with himself.
“Look at this, my brother and my girlfriend getting along, how cute,” he teases, wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist. She reaches up to fix his bandage where it slipped, and her gentle touch makes his knees feel weak. “Just in time too. Be a bit awkward for Fred to be my best man if you two hate each other still.”
“Who said I’d want to be your best man anyway, git?” Fred jokes. “All this wedding crap is for the birds.”
George rolls his eyes fondly, pressing a kiss to the top of Y/N’s head. “Fine, I’ll just ask Ron or Harry or Lee. Maybe even Charlie. You’re not the only man for the job, Freddie.”
“But I’m the best man for it,” Fred responds, causing both Y/N and George to groan at his lame joke. “Try and replace me as your best man again and you’ll never hear the end of my cheesy jokes, moron.”
“No need to be feisty, I was just playing. Of course, you’re the only man for the job.”
-
Now Fred will never get to be the best man at their wedding. Or be there when their children are born. Or have children of his own. Just like how Y/N and George planned out their lives, he and Fred had done the same. Buying houses next to each other so they never had to travel far to see the other. They both wanted to have a boy first, close in age, so they each had someone to hand the joke shop down to. But in the blink of an eye all of that has changed, and Y/N doesn’t know if George will ever be the same again.
“You’re okay, George. It’s all gonna be okay,” Y/N coos, just wanting to calm him down. She presses a few kisses to the side of his face slowly, just letting him know that she’s there. Her arms wind around his neck as George’s grip tightens on her waist and she just hugs him tightly.
Y/N hears someone sob behind her, and she releases George so he can pull Ron into a bone crushing hug. She pulls Ginny into a hug next, letting the younger girl rest her head on her shoulder. Y/N isn’t officially a Weasley, not by any means, but this family has shown her nothing but love and welcomed her with open arms and she wants to do everything she can to help them through this. She and Hermione lock eyes, and Y/N can tell by the way the other girl is hovering on the edge of the circle with her hand on Ron’s shoulder she feels the same way.
Harry is hovering just behind Hermione, but instead of coming closer like Y/N expects he turns on his heel and heads out of the Great Hall. Y/N knows that can only mean one thing. This battle is far from over, and she hugs Ginny just a little tighter, hoping it gives them both the strength to keep fighting.
-
The sun is already high in the sky when everyone makes it back to The Burrow. They’re living in a new world, a world that will never be plagued by Voldemort’s darkness, but it seems darkness of other kinds has already started to take its place. 50 people lost their lives that night alone, not to mention the countless others who’ve been lost along the way. Death has touched many families in the Wizarding World, and everyone can feel its burden as they collapse into chairs at the kitchen table.
Molly starts worrying about food and making everyone tea, while George shuffles up the stairs without bothering to say anything. They all had lingered in the Great Hall for as long as they could, not wanting to leave Fred’s body there alone. It wasn’t until people from St. Mungo’s showed up to take away the dead that Molly and Arthur suggested they all head home, and Bill and Charlie had to practically drag George away from Fred. He barely even looked at anyone as they started to apperate home, and when Y/N tried to grab his hand he shoved her off.
Y/N tried not to take it personally, obviously George is going through the hardest moment of his life, but she couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. Her and George are supposed to be there for each other through everything, and it makes her chest ache that in the time where he needs people the most he’s pushing her away.
“He’ll come around,” Charlie whispers, nudging Y/N’s knee with his. She finally looks away from the staircase, trying to return his warm smile. “Fred and,” he starts, pausing to clear his throat. “George is tough, probably the toughest guy I know, and I’ve seen some things in Romania. He just needs a bit of time.”
“Thanks, Charlie.” Y/N takes a sip of her tea, just needing something to distract herself. It’s still fairly hot and the liquid burns the roof of her mouth, but the uncomfortable feeling of her singed tongue is a welcome distraction from the pain in her chest, and Y/N takes another sip.
“Y/N dear, why don’t you go ahead and owl your parents? I’m sure they’re waiting to hear from you,” Molly suggests, before turning back to whatever she has cooking on the stove.
Y/N rests her mug back on the table and plays with the sleeves of her jumper, trying to fight the tears that threaten to spill over her cheeks. “They’re um. They died actually. About three months ago now I think.” The kitchen goes still, and Y/N drops her gaze to the table as everyone turns to look at her. “They wouldn’t let me move them to a safe house, they kept going on about how they weren’t afraid of Voldemort, that they weren’t going to let him force them out of their house. But when death eaters come knocking you either join or die, so.”
Her parents may have refused to be moved to a safe house, but they allowed Y/N to set up an undetectable communication system, so they could at least keep in touch. When her parents went more than eight hours without responding to her last message Y/N started to freak out, and she convinced Remus to go with her to check on them. They were sitting on the couch as if they had simply fallen asleep together, but Y/N could tell something much sinister had happened. She managed to find their house elf Marjorie hiding in the garden shed, and she told Y/N everything that had happened. How people in masks had shown up and when her parents refused to leave with them jets of green light came from their wands. Y/N ended up being called away on a mission, and her parents were buried in the small cemetery at the end of their road, with no one in attendance but the grave digger.
Y/N can feel arms wrap around her, and she presses her face into Ginny’s neck finally letting herself cry. There wasn’t proper time for her to mourn her parents, not in the middle of the war, and as Ginny squeezes her tight Y/N finally lets the emotions that have been building inside of her for the past three months spill out. “They were my only family. And now they’re just gone and I’m all alone.”
“You’re not alone,” Ginny coos quietly, rubbing her back. “We’re your family too.”
-
George barely gets out of bed for days. The only times he moves are to shuffle to the loo or when Y/N or Molly is forcing him to drink water or eat something. His eyes are blank, lifeless and Y/N hasn’t heard him speak since the battle. He doesn’t even make sounds when he cries anymore, the tears just run down his face as he takes shaky breaths.
And as much as it pains Y/N to see George like this, pains them all to see him like this they just let him be. Of course, they all feel Fred’s death. But no one, not even Y/N can fathom what Fred’s death feels like to George. So they let him lay in Fred’s old bed, stopping in to check on him periodically throughout the day and talk to him even though he never talks back. And every night before she crawls into George’s old bed Y/N is sure to kiss George on the top of his head and whisper how much she loves him before going to sleep alone.
The first day they actually force him out of bed is the day of Fred’s funeral. Bill and Charlie pick him up under the armpits and deposit him in the bathroom where Y/N is waiting, situating him in the empty tub. Y/N gives them both an appreciative smile before they leave, and as soon as the door is shut tight behind them she turns to George.
“Gotta get you undressed, okay bub?” she asks softly, kneeling down next to the tub. George keeps his eyes facing forward but gives a little nod, and Y/N takes it as her cue to get him undressed. Once she’s gotten rid of his clothes Y/N lets the tub start to fill up with water, and she runs her hand through his hair, scratching at his scalp as they wait for it to finish.
Y/N washes George quickly, just talking to him about whatever things come to mind. At one-point George reaches up and cups her cheek and Y/N can’t help but lean into his touch. It’s the first contact he’s initiated since they left Hogwarts, and it makes butterflies erupt in her stomach.
Once George is clean Y/N drains the tub and uses a spell to dry George off before pulling a fresh pair of boxers up his legs. “Your suits in your room. Do you want me to get Bill and Charlie or will you be okay going on your own with me?”
All George does is make a noise in the back of his throat, but he starts to stand up then, so Y/N lets him move, following behind him back into his and Fred’s old room. Molly is standing in the hallway, and she and Y/N share a hopeful look before they disappear into the room. This is the most life George has had in him since Fred’s death, and Y/N hopes this means they’re on the road to recovery.
“I got you a new suit,” Y/N tells him as he takes a seat on his bed and she heads over to the wardrobe to grab it from where it’s hanging. Her and Molly had gone to the flat above Wheezes the day before to grab some things for the both of them, but the main thing they needed was something for George to wear. The only formal clothes he has at the Burrow are the dress robes he wore to the Yule Ball, so they needed to get him something.
But as they examined George’s closet they mostly found t-shirts and sweaters, nothing proper for him to wear at a funeral. Turns out the only suits George owns are the few he rotates between for work, and when Molly had reached in to grab one Y/N put her hand out to stop her. Because all of those suits have a matching one hanging in Fred’s closet across the hall. And even though George isn’t ready to jump back into work Y/N knows that he will be, someday. And she doesn’t want any one of these suits to be tainted with the memories of Fred’s funeral. Not when they already hold so many happy memories. Memories of the first day the store was open, of all their late nights brainstorming new products or dealing with paperwork. Y/N had seen George at his happiest while wearing those suits, had watched him and Fred share mischievous smiles as their dreams became a reality. Someday George will step into one of those suits again, and Y/N doesn’t want the first thing he thinks about to be Fred’s funeral.
She gets George dressed quickly, pressing a lingering kiss to his forehead once it’s done. “I love you, George. And I know you love me too, even if you can’t say it right now, okay? I’m here for you always. No matter what.” Y/N goes over to the desk in the corner and grabs the teapot pin she bought for George all those years ago. It feels thin and flimsy in her hand, and she almost feels silly as she pins it to his jacket. Like she’s still that eager teenager, shopping in London with her Mum for the perfect gift to give the boy of her dreams that she loves with her whole heart. But it’s their promise of forever, and Y/N thinks George needs that now more than ever.
-
Fred’s funeral is packed, which is a surprise to no one. Fred was magnetic and left an impression on everyone he ever came in contact with. Y/N stays by George’s side, greeting everyone that comes to talk with them. Most of their classmates show up and Y/N even recognizes a few regulars from the joke shop. Even Professor Slughorn shows up, despite the fact that he never taught Fred, and Y/N is pretty sure she catches McGonagall wiping away a few tears out of the corner of her eye.
Andromeda comes through with baby Teddy in her arms, and even George cracks the faintest of smiles when the sparse hair on his head turns bright orange. The only time Y/N leaves George’s side is when Lee shows up and she goes to stand with Ginny and Harry who are comforting a teary-eyed Oliver Wood so that the two friends can have a moment alone. George doesn’t say anything, but when Lee goes to sit down George has tears running down his cheeks and Y/N goes back to his side so she can wipe them away.
Ginny ends up being the one to give the Eulogy. Both Bill and Charlie had tried, but every time they sat down to write something they just couldn’t get the words out. Percy had declined his dad’s offer, still too unsure of his place in the family and still too busy blaming himself to feel comfortable enough to talk about how much Fred meant to him. George had been the obvious choice, but he can’t even talk about the weather, and no one wanted to pressure him into doing something he wasn’t ready for. Ron had actually managed to write out a beautiful tribute with the help of Hermione, but two words in he got so emotional he started hyperventilating.
So, it fell onto Ginny’s shoulders to be the one to give the tribute to Fred. Y/N watches Ginny’s knees shake as she stands in front of her brother’s casket, her eyes never once straying to the cards in her hands. Her voice is clear and strong as she tells the story about the first prank she’d ever helped Fred and George pull off, but the tears streaming down her face glisten in the sunlight. Both Fred and George always held a soft spot for their younger sister, so as she stands up there and talks about how much she loved Fred it only seems right that Ginny be the one to say the final goodbye to him.
As Fred’s casket lowers into the ground everyone stands up, holding their wands high as they cast a bright white light into the sky. Y/N slips her hand into George’s, giving his fingers a tight squeeze as they give their final tribute to Fred. Ron waves his wand so a few whizbangs he and Harry had set up can go off. They had found them in Fred and George’s room so of course as they erupt into the sky the colors burst into a few different explicit words.
Everyone, even George, manages to laugh and it feels like the perfect way to send off Fred, the guy who dedicated his life to making people laugh and who died with his final smile still etched on his face.
-
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay a bit longer?” Molly asks, placing her hands on Y/N’s shoulders. “It’s not a bother at all having you two here. It’s nice, to have the house a bit full again.”
Y/N nods, sparing a glance over her shoulder at George. He’s sitting on the arm of the sofa, listening to Ron chatter on about who knows what. It’s nearly June now, and while things with George have been progressing slowly, Y/N is optimistic that they’ll only get better as time goes on. He gets out of bed for short stretches of time now, and when you talk with him he actually seems like he’s listening. He’s said a few quiet things to both Molly and Y/N, but when the whole family is around he tends to just sit there and let everyone else do the talking for him.
Things have started to get back to somewhat normal for everyone, and Y/N decided it was time for her and George to do the same. Bill and Fleur are back at shell cottage, working hard to get Gringotts back in working order, and Charlie finally went back to Romania last week. Arthur and Percy will be back at the ministry next week, and even Harry and Ron will be joining them for their Auror training.
George isn’t ready to reopen the shop yet, but Y/N figures just being back in the flat will help him continue to heal. “I think some normalcy will help George. Get him in a routine, back to living his everyday life. We’ll be back plenty, but I think it’s time we go home.”
“My boy is in good hands with you, Y/N, that’s for sure.” Molly leans in and presses a kiss to Y/N’s forehead. “And you’ll owl? If anything happens?”
“Of course, Molly.” Y/N gives Molly a final smile before turning back to look at George. “You ready to go home, love?”
George nods and doesn’t say anything, but the corners of his mouth twitch up into a smile. He takes the hand that Y/N offers him, holding it loosely in his own. He still isn’t as physically affectionate as before, but Y/N is sure that with time everything will go back to how it was before.
-
“Are you going to get out of bed today?” Y/N asks, unable to stop the annoyance that creeps into her tone.
It’s nearly October now, and things with George have only seemed to stay the same, if not worse. Some days he gets out of bed and hangs out on the couch, flipping through muggle tv stations for hours on end, holding small conversations with Y/N when he feels up to it. Other days he lays in bed all day, or sometimes for days, his lips shut tight and him barely eating. Firewhiskey seems to be the main component of his diet and Y/N has no idea how he keeps getting more of it after she pours it down the drain, since he never leaves the house.
Everyone has been coddling George, and while Y/N can’t even imagine the pain George has been going through, she’s nearly reached the end of her rope. She’s brought in several different Wizard therapists to try and get George to open up, but each one just ended up leaving the flat after a frustrated hour of George not saying anything. She just wants to figure out some way to help him, and he’s been completely unresponsive in the whole thing.
“Maybe,” George mumbles, rolling onto his other side.
Y/N can hear the unmistakable sound of a Firewhiskey bottle opening and she flips the light on as she enters their room, heading over to George. “Where the hell do you keep getting this crap? Give me the bottle, George.”
George makes eye contact with Y/N as he takes a swig from the bottle, draining quite a bit of the amber liquid. It’s the only thing that has managed to make him feel something in the months since Fred’s death and he doesn’t care how much it bothers Y/N. “Last I checked you weren’t the boss of me,” George responds flatly before taking another drink.
The rude attitude is something new too. Along with his lack of physical affection, some days when George finds the energy to talk his tone is always crass. He’s never said anything horribly mean, but the way he says things never fails to cut Y/N deeply.
“I’m just trying to help you, George,” Y/N reminds him, softening her tone.
George scoffs and tosses the now empty bottle onto the floor. “Well no one asked you to.”
“Because that’s what you do when you love someone, George. You’re there for them no matter what.” Y/N waits for George to say something, and when he doesn’t she lets out a soft sigh. “I’m worried about you, Georgie. You barely get out of bed anymore, you’re not eating. I can’t even imagine the pain you’ve gone through these months. But it’s been nearly six months, love. And Fred wouldn’t want-.”
“Don’t. Don’t talk about him like you knew him. You and Fred had one civil conversation over a year ago. You have no idea what Fred wanted,” George says harshly, cutting Y/N off.
Y/N can feel tears pricking the corners of her eyes and she takes a deep breath to try and calm down. She knows this isn’t George talking, it’s the alcohol and the grief, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. “I get your upset George, I lost people I cared about too. But I don’t get all this anger. Why are you so mad at me? Is it something I said? Something I did? Just talk to me George, please.”
“You want me to talk? Fine, I’ll talk.” George sits up and crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes narrow as he looks at Y/N. “It’s all your fault, he’s dead because of you. I should have been with Fred. I could have cast a protective spell or pulled him out of the way. And he’d still be here. But I wasn’t with him. You know why? I was faffing about the castle looking for you, saving you. When I should have been with Fred.”
Y/N can feel hot tears running down her cheeks, and her fingers shake as she reaches up to wipe them away. “What are you saying, George? That you regret trying to find me? That you regret saving me? That you would go back and let Adrian kill me so you could save Fred?” Y/N pauses to swallow the lump in her throat. “You wish it had been me who died, don’t you?”
George doesn’t say anything, but it’s answer enough for Y/N. “Fuck you, George. I’ve spent the past five months of my life giving you my everything. Trying to help you, trying to make you feel better. And you’ve been what? Laying there wishing it had been me instead of Fred?” Y/N can feel her heart shattering as George just continues to look at her, the same cold expression on his face as before. “Well I’m done. With helping you, with coddling you. With everything.”
She can feel the necklace George gave her pressing against her skin, and while it’s normally a comforting feeling, now it feels as if it’s burning her skin and she reaches up, tearing it from around her throat. It’s the first time she’s taken it off since George gave it to her and as she looks at it in her hand Y/N wants to put it right back on. But instead she throws it at George. It lands on his legs, and they both just stare at it for a moment.
“Take your promise of forever and shove it up your ass, George. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything, more than I’ve ever loved myself. But clearly you don’t feel the same way and I’m not going to spend the rest of my life pretending that it doesn’t kill me inside that you don’t love me the same way I love you.”
Without another word Y/N storms out of their bedroom and out of the flat, unsure of where she’s going to go next.
-
“You look dreadful,” Percy says honestly when George opens the door. His eyes are red with dark circles underneath, his hair is a mess and the pajamas he’s wearing are wrinkled and creased from him tossing and turning in his sleep.
Y/N had sent an owl to the Burrow after she ended things with George, and Percy had been the one to volunteer to visit George to try and talk to him. He gave him a few days to think about things before deciding to come and see him after work one day. The war took enough from George, and Percy couldn’t sit back and let George destroy one of the last good things in his life.
“What do you want?” George asks flatly, shuffling over towards the couch. He’s felt sick to his stomach since the moment Y/N walked away from him. He was angry and kind of drunk and sad when they fought, and George hadn’t meant a word of what he said to her. But he needed a way to get her to leave. Because George doesn’t know when he’ll ever feel normal again, when he’ll be able to love her properly again, and watching her throw her life away to help him fight a losing battle was getting to be too much.
It started two weeks ago, on one of his good days. He woke up in the morning feeling like himself, feeling like he did before the battle of Hogwarts. George had finally had a dream, not a nightmare or darkness in his eyelids while he slept. It was an actual dream, and when he opened his eyes in the morning the images of him running around a backyard with a redheaded toddler on his shoulders were still fresh in his mind.
And when he made it out into the kitchen where Y/N was making breakfast, she looked gorgeous and the smile on her face when George greeted her was bright enough to light up the world. He finally felt like things were going to be okay. He didn’t feel haunted by the closed bedroom door down the hall. George felt like he was ready, ready to get his shit back together and give Y/N everything he’d ever promised her.
But then he found it in the trash. A letter from the head Healer at St. Mungo’s. She was inviting Y/N to come back into the Healer program, to finish the training she started before the war. All she had to do was send a letter back confirming her reenrollment. But judging by the fact that she hadn’t mentioned anything, and the letter was in the trash, George figured Y/N wasn’t going to reenroll. It killed him that she was giving up on her dream to stay there with him--he was having a good day, but George knew that tomorrow, he could wake up and be right back to struggling to get out of bed. Y/N wanted to be a healer long before George occupied any of her thoughts, and he couldn’t let her throw that away.
So that day, he decided it was best if he let her go. Y/N had given up a lot for George already. His insecurities back at Hogwarts led her away from her best friends, his grief stopped her from dealing with the loss of people she cared about, and now, his inability to get his shit together was going to stop her from fulfilling her dream--the dream that made George start to fall in love with her in the first place. He couldn’t let her give up more of her life than she already had.
When Y/N tried to talk to him that day, he let whatever vile words he could think of spill out of his mouth. Seeing her so hurt, so broken, crushed whatever part of his soul was left, and he couldn’t let her keep living that way. But seeing her tear that necklace off broke something inside of George. He finally felt something other than numbness, and it was complete and utter pain. It felt like his heart was torn from his chest when Y/N slammed the door behind her, and even though George knew not being with him is what’s best for Y/N, his heart still beats for her and he’s sure it always will.
Percy sighs and follows George over to the couch. “What’s going on with you, George? You’re not acting like yourself.”
“I wonder why,” George responds, watching Percy sink into one of their armchairs. It’s weird, seeing him here. Percy barely wanted to enter Fred and George’s bedroom when they lived at home together, so he knows something must really be bothering him if he decided to come to the flat to see George.
“This isn’t about Fred,” Percy starts, holding up his hand to keep George from responding. “I’m not saying that you’re not still upset about him or that your grief isn’t valid. I’m talking about Y/N. She owled Mum about what you said. And while I imagine you’re still very hurt, we all are, I know you would never say anything like that to her. I’m not going to pretend that I know what your relationship with her was like, but I know you, George. And I saw the way she took care of you after what happened. So I know there’s no way you could have meant those things you said to her.”
“I’m not good enough for her anymore,” George says suddenly after a few minutes of silence. “I’m broken, damaged goods. And Y/N deserves the world. She was wasting her life sitting here and taking care of me. I couldn’t let her do that anymore.”
“George you’re not broken, or damaged. You’re healing, there’s a difference. And keeping all of this in is certainly not helping.” Percy sits back and just watches George for a moment. “We talked, down in the kitchen that first night after the battle, Y/N and I. I couldn’t sleep and she came down for some water. We were talking, and I asked her what changed, how she went from hating your guts to looking at you like you’re the only person in the world. Do you wanna know what she said to me?”
When George just shrugs Percy leans forward so he can look at George better. “She told me about the night in detention. About how you guys had an actual conversation for once. And that you made her feel like someone was actually listening to her. That you validated her dreams and made her feel like they were attainable. Y/N said that she told you stuff she never even told her closest friends, because just being around you made her feel safe, like she could be vulnerable around you.”
George thinks about that first night in detention often. After that night, he couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N. He even remembers having a dream about how nice her hair smelled, and how good it would have felt to run his fingers through it. He thinks about that night in the broom closet too, hiding from McGonagall; he’d wanted to kiss her so badly, being so close to her made his knees shaky and his chest tight. George had planned on kissing Y/N that night when he dropped her off at the Slytherin common room, until Umbridge had run into them. When they finally had their first kiss a few nights later in that secret passageway, George knew that from that moment on, he couldn’t live without Y/N.
“Why are you telling me this? It doesn’t matter now.”
Percy sighs. “I’m telling you this because you need to know that it’s okay to be vulnerable with Y/N. Keeping all of this in is only hurting the both of you, George. She very clearly loves you, and I know you must love her too if you’re willing to be miserable for the rest of your life to make her happy. But you can both be happy, George. Happy together. You just need to, and pardon my language, take your head out of your ass.”
George chuckles at that. “Wow, Perc, you must be serious, I’ve never heard you say anything so lewd.”
“Yeah well I slacked on my big brother duties for a few years, I figured it’s time to make up for it.” Percy pauses, pursing his lips. “Y/N’s staying at her parent’s house, getting it all cleaned out. Think about what you’re gonna say and then go over and apologize to her. You deserve to be happy, George. Fred would want you to be happy.”
-
It takes a few days and a visit from his Mum to get his haircut, but George gets his shit together so he can go and talk to Y/N. He spent quite a long time trying to figure out what to say to her, and while it’s not exactly perfect it’s what George feels and that’s what matters to him. Because there’s no doubt in his mind that Y/N is the only person he wants to be with for the rest of his life, and he shouldn’t let his inability to express his thoughts get in the way of that. They’ve already been down that road together before, and George vowed to spend forever with Y/N and he still plans on making good on those promises.
He pushes the front door right open, letting the noise of Y/N muttering to herself as she shuffles things around lead him to where she is. He finds Y/N digging through the drawers of the dresser in her childhood bedroom. She’s wearing an oversized t-shirt that George thinks used to be in his closet and her hair is tied up on her head. George can feel his legs shaking as he leans up against the doorway, and he takes a deep breath to calm himself down.
“Hey, teacup.”
Y/N jumps at the sound of George’s voice and she spins to face the door, her hand clutching her chest. “For Merlin’s sake, George. You scared the shit out of me.” She can feel her heart racing in her chest, and it’s not from the fright George just gave her. He looks good, like his normal self and it feels like she’s seeing him for the first time. Molly has definitely cut his hair recently, and even though he’s still in comfy clothes the Gryffindor t-shirt and sweatpants he’s wearing are uncreased and look like they’ve been washed recently.
“Sorry, love, thought you heard me when I came in.” George bites his lip, fiddling with his thumbs. “You doing okay?”
Y/N shrugs, looking down at the floor. George is the last person she expected to show up here, and she’s not sure how she feels about it. He’s been on her mind since the moment she walked out the door of their flat last week, and the last words he spoke to her have been running on a constant loop in the back of her mind. She’s still so angry and hurt over what he said, but Y/N would be lying if she said every cell in her body isn’t screaming at her to just go up and hug him.
“I’ve been doing better, than before,” George continues when she doesn’t say anything. “Percy came to talk to me a few days ago, made me realize what an ass I was. Though I must say he was much nicer than Ginny was when she did the same thing a few years ago.” He lets out a breathy chuckle, and his stomach flips when Y/N looks back up at him with a small smile. “I owe you probably the biggest apology I’ll ever give in my entire life and I’d love to give it to you if you’d let me.”
It reminds Y/N of that day on the train when their only problems were jealousy and what house table they should eat dinner at. Y/N instinctively reaches up to grab the charms of her necklace, her hand faltering when all she meets is the cloth of her shirt. It’s something she’s done several times in the days it’s been since she ripped the piece of jewelry off, usually when she was missing George and wanted to feel like a piece of him was still nearby.
“I guess that’s something I could do,” she says quietly, going to take a seat on the edge of her bed. She pats the spot next to her, encouraging George to come sit. His hands are shaking as he comes and sits down, and it takes all of Y/N’s restraint to not reach out and grab one of them.
“I lied to you. I don’t blame you, for what happened to Fred. And I don’t regret anything I did that night. If it had been you who died instead of Fred I don’t think I would have been able to carry on with my life. Because Y/N you are quite literally the only reason why I wake up every morning, you’re the reason why I have the energy to get out of bed somedays, and the reason why I feel okay when I don’t. Falling in love with you, being with you has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
George reaches up to wipe away a few of the tears Y/N has started to shed, his fingers trembling as they softly press against her cheek. “And even though I haven’t been the best person to be around lately, you’ve been by my side through everything. You’ve been so patient and understanding, way more than I deserve. You put your life on hold to help me, and I’ve been rejecting all of your efforts. I don’t know how to do all of this. How to grieve and handle my emotions. Talk about my emotions. And instead of just trying I’ve been keeping them all in, letting them settle in me and get worse. I haven’t felt like myself in months, haven’t allowed myself to. And yet every day you were there, with a smile and a reassuring touch, telling me how much you love me. I started to feel guilty, so overwhelmingly so it felt like my chest was going to cave in. Because there you were, putting your life on hold, giving up your dream to try and help me and I couldn’t even manage to tell you how much I love and appreciate you.”
Y/N reaches up and wipes away a few of George’s tears this time, letting her fingers gently caress his cheek. “George I didn’t mind, doing all of that for you. That’s what you do when you love someone. You make sacrifices, change your plans. I would give up everything to be there for you.”
“That’s why I said all of those things to you, Y/N. Pushed you away, forced you to leave. Because I don’t want you to give up everything to be with me.” George cups Y/N’s cheek gently so he can look her in the eyes. “You deserve to have everything you’ve ever wanted in life, and you deserve to have a partner that can be there for you. That can support you fully in everything you do. And I didn’t think I could be that person for you.”
“Didn’t think you could be? Or don’t think you could be?” Y/N asks through her sniffles.
“Didn’t,” George confirms, his voice serious. “Because living without you, even for a few moments was the most intense pain I have ever felt. And even though I don’t know when I’ll feel completely back to normal there are a few things I do know. I know that I love you. And I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know I want to support you and be there for you in everything you do. And I know that I want to try and be better for you. And for me. Most importantly I know that I want you, forever. I want all those things I promised you, the stupid diamond and the wedding and the seven ginger babies. I know that I actually want to live my life, not just watch it pass me by. And the only person I want to do that with is you.”
George pauses to dig around in the pocket of his sweatpants, and a moment later he pulls out Y/N’s necklace. Except this time along with the teapot and G charm, there’s a simple diamond ring hanging from the chain. “So I am so, so sorry for treating you the way I have, the way I did. And teacup, if you’ll let me, I promise to cherish you and support you and love you forever.”
It’s not the way Y/N ever imagined this moment would take place, but as she surges forward to kiss George properly for the first time in months, it feels absolutely perfect. She knows that they have a long road of healing and mending ahead and that their lives will probably never be the way they imagined them. But none of that matters. All Y/N needs and has ever needed is George. “Of course, George. There is no one else I want to spend forever with.”
George lets Y/N pull him into another kiss as he fumbles with the necklace, trying to get the ring off so he can slip it onto her finger. She starts to kiss down his neck, and George lets out a soft moan as he finally gets the ring in his hand. “Hang on teacup, wait a minute.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Y/N mumbles as she pulls away, her cheeks flushed pink. “It’s fine if you’re not ready to we can wait for as long as you want I just figured that-.”
George cuts her off with a laugh. “Oh no that’s not what I meant, Y/N. I am more than ready to be with you like that again. I just wanna put your ring and your necklace on first.”
“Oh right I kinda forgot about that,” Y/N says with a giggle, holding her left hand out for George. Between the war and George’s grief they haven’t been intimate in well over a year now, and Y/N’s fingers stopped being sufficient long ago so in her haste to get George into bed she completely forgot about the ring.
“You can’t not have your ring on the first time we do it as an engaged couple,” George teases as he slides the ring down her finger. The diamond glistens in the sunlight streaming in through the window and to George it looks as if the ring was made to be on Y/N’s finger.
Y/N examines the ring up close for the first time as she turns around so George can clasp her necklace back around her neck. It’s simple, but gorgeous and everything she’s ever wanted in an engagement ring. George finally gets the clasp of the necklace closed and Y/N shivers as the cool metal settles against her skin. A moment later George’s warm mouth is pressing kisses into her skin and she lets out a quiet noise.
“I missed you so much,” George murmurs as he turns Y/N back around, kissing her softly. He starts to slowly lay her back against the pillows as their mouths move together, crawling on top of her. “You did such a good job taking care of me, teacup. Now it’s my turn to take care of you.”
George helps Y/N out of her top before he starts to slowly kiss down her neck, his hands slowly rubbing up and down her sides. It’s been far too long since he showed Y/N just how much he loves and appreciates her, and he plans on making up for it now. He moves his lips down her chest, taking one of her nipples between his lips. The tip of his tongue flicks at the sensitive bud for a moment before he sucks on it gently.
“Oh, George,” Y/N moans, tangling one of her hands in his hair. She tugs on it lightly as her hips move off of the bed to grind up against George’s. She can already feel her arousal pooling in her panties and she’s ready for more.
“God you are gorgeous,” George murmurs before capturing Y/N’s other nipple in his mouth and giving it the same treatment as the other. “I don’t deserve you,” he mumbles into her skin as he starts to kiss down her stomach. “You are perfect in every way, Y/N.”
“I love you,” Y/N tells George quietly as he gets rid of her bottoms, lifting her hips up to help him. She shivers as she rests back against the bed, completely bare for him. His gentle touch on her knees makes goosebumps rise on her skin, and she lets out a whine as he spreads her legs open.
“I love you too, teacup. So much. More than anything in the world.” George starts to kiss Y/N’s inner thigh, leading a trail up to her dripping cunt. He pauses to suck a mark onto the inner most part of her thigh, just a few centimeters away from where she needs him most. George brings two fingers to her cunt, spreading her wetness around as he rubs through her folds.
Y/N’s hips grind down against George’s gentle touch, and she tugs on George’s hair when he chuckles. “Please, George. I need you.”
George slips two fingers into Y/N’s cunt as his lips attach to her clit, moaning against her when walls clench around his digits. He sucks on her clit gently, slowly moving his fingers in her, curling them with every push back into her entrance.
“Oh yes, Georgie, fuck. Feels so good,” Y/N groans, her hips starting to grind down against George’s face and hands. She spreads her legs even wider, whining when the fingers of George’s free hand dig into her thigh.
“Such a good girl for me, teacup,” he praises, pressing a wet kiss to her clit. He starts to move his fingers faster, scissoring his fingers to help stretch her and get her ready for his cock. “Making such pretty noises for me, just like you always do.”
Y/N lets out a low moan as George reattaches his mouth to her clit, bringing her free hand up to pinch at her nipples. She can already feel the familiar heat of an orgasm building in her stomach, and her toes curl as George’s tongue starts to trace patterns over her clit. “Love being your good girl, George. Always wanna be your good girl.”
George hums as he sucks Y/N’s clit harder, fucking his fingers back into her cunt harder. Her walls are clenching and twitching around him, and George has to grind his hips against the bed to get some relief on his aching cock.
“So close George, fuck,” Y/N moans, her toes curling as George’s fingers brush her g-spot once again. She can feel shocks of pleasure radiating through her cunt as her orgasm approaches, and she starts to move her hips sloppily, chasing her climax. “Can I cum? Please Georgie, wanna cum. Wanna be a good girl,” she babbles, tugging on George’s hair.
George takes his mouth away from her cunt and starts to rub harsh circles on Y/N’s clit. “Go on, darling. Want you to be a good girl and cum for me.”
With a few more pumps of George’s fingers Y/N is cumming, her thighs trembling as pleasure washes over her in waves. She can see stars behind her eyes, and she doesn’t even realize that she’s moaning loudly until George is kissing her and the room gets infinitely quieter.
George rubs Y/N’s hips soothingly as she comes down from her high, his lips gently pressing to her neck in a series of slow kisses. “Do you have any idea how fucking hot you sound when you’re moaning like that for me?” he asks, pulling away so he can look into Y/N’s eyes.
“I could wager a guess,” Y/N responds playfully, pulling George down into a kiss. She slowly starts to sit up as George deepens their kiss, letting out a moan against his mouth. Y/N trails one of her hands down George’s chest to his crotch, palming his erection through the fabric of his sweatpants. “Is this another present in your pants for me?” she teases, nipping at George’s lips.
“Why am I marrying you again?” George teases as he pulls away so he can take his t-shirt off. He gets off the bed then and starts to get rid of his bottoms, pulling them down slowly to tease Y/N.
“Georgie,” Y/N whines at his teasing, jutting her lower lip out into a pout. She gets up onto her knees and wraps one of her hands around the back of George’s neck as the other reaches down to wrap around his cock. Y/N pulls George down into a hot kiss as she starts to stroke him, her thumb swirling around the tip to collect the precum dribbling out, helping her hand to glide easier.
George kicks his bottoms off as Y/N strokes him, moaning into her mouth. “Godric I missed this. Missed you, teacup. I can’t believe I get to have you for the rest of my life.” He crawls back onto the bed as he kisses Y/N again, sitting down with his back against the headboard. His hands settle on Y/N’s hips and he pulls her so that she’s straddling his waist. “You gonna show me how much you missed me too?”
Y/N reaches behind her to grip George’s cock and she lets out a whine as she teases her slit with the tip. She lets George pull her into another kiss as she starts to slowly sink down, but it falls apart as her hips move and her mouth drops open to let out a few pants. “So fucking full,” she groans as their thighs meet, her hips rocking slightly now that George is fully inside of her.
“Fuck your cunt is tight,” George moans, digging his fingers into Y/N’s hips. Her walls are pulsating around him and he can’t help but jut his hips upwards. Being buried inside of Y/N feels like pure ecstasy to George, and it takes all of his restraint not to just flip them over so he can fuck into her hard. “How do I feel, teacup? You like the way my cock fills you up?”
“George,” Y/N moans as she starts to rock in his lap, moving her hips in tight circles as she grinds down into him. She can feel George deep inside of her, and the way his cock brushes her g-spot with every moment causes pleasure to radiate through her core. “Feels good, so good. Missed being,” Y/N pauses to moan as George starts to help guide the movements of her hips. “Missed being full.”
George presses his face into the crook of Y/N’s neck, letting out grunts against her skin as she starts to rock against him quicker. He starts to move his own hips up into her and her walls clamp around him even tighter. “You’re incredible,” he pants, pressing a kiss to her neck. George pulls away so he can look at Y/N leaning in to kiss her briefly. “Feel so fucking good, teacup. Riding me so well, Y/N. Being such a good girl for me.”
Y/N tips her head back and moans as she starts to move faster, desperately trying to cum again. Her clit is grinding against George with every movement and the way he’s stretching her out has gone straight to her head, and Y/N’s mind is clouded with pleasure. Maybe it’s because they haven’t been intimate like this in so long or because they’re engaged now but Y/N feels complete with George inside of her and she never wants it to end as she grinds down against him harder.
“Please George, please,” she begs breathily, digging her fingers into his shoulders.
“What do you want teacup?” George asks as he stats to thrust his hips up harder. Her walls twitch with every movement and he can already feel himself getting close to his release. “Whatever you want it’s yours.”
Y/N tilts her head forward so she can rest their foreheads together. She looks into George’s eyes and a shiver runs down her spine at how dark they are. “Just want you, Georgie. Please.”
George kisses Y/N desperately as he flips them over, pressing Y/N down into the mattress as he starts to slam his hips into her hard. “You’ve got me,” George promises as he brings one of his hands down to her core, starting to rub harsh circles on her clit. He braces himself on a hand above her shoulder and presses their foreheads together again so he can look into her eyes. “Forever, Y/N. I mean it this time. Forever.”
“Oh fuck, George,” Y/N moans as she cums, her legs winding around George’s hips to keep him in place, fucking her deep. Electric shocks of pleasure radiate through her body and her chest starts to heave with deep breaths as the pleasure washes over her.
Y/N’s walls tightening and pulsating around him pushes George over the edge, and he cums too, a cry of her name leaving his lips. He kisses her messily as his cock twitches inside of her, his hips slowly rolling to help them both of them through the tail ends of their orgasms.
“No,” Y/N whines when George moves to pull out, her legs tightening around his waist. “Not yet, George. Wanna be full with you for a bit longer.”
George chuckles and presses a kiss to Y/N’s sweaty forehead, carefully turning them on their sides so they can lay somewhat comfortably, his cock still buried deep inside of her. “Of course, teacup. Anything for you.”
“Forever, yeah?” she murmurs, clenching her walls around George.
He reaches a hand between them and presses the charms of Y/N’s necklace into her skin. “Forever.”
-
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world, did you know that Mrs. Weasley?” George asks with a dopey grin as he twirls Y/N around in a circle.
They decided to keep their wedding small. Partially to distract from the fact that Y/N really has no friends or family to invite. But mostly because they don’t need all the theatrics. It’s the middle of June, and the backyard of the Burrow is draped in twinkling lights, making the warm air seem as if it’s glowing as everyone talks or eats or dances. George had suggested they get married as quick as humanly possible. He even tried to convince Y/N that they should just get a marriage license from the ministry and get married right in Shacklebolt’s office before they even had the chance to tell anyone they were engaged.
But Y/N insisted that they have some sort of ceremony with their family. June seemed like the perfect opportunity, since both Ginny and Hermione would be done with school and Fleur would have already given birth to the first Weasley grandchild. Y/N also thought it would give George some more time to deal with his grief.
After he proposed George really did start doing better. He started getting out of bed every day and taking proper care of himself. Y/N encouraged him to reconnect with his family and friends, and they even started leaving the flat together at least once a week. George started seeing a wizard therapist, and as he learned how to identify and deal with his emotions, Y/N watched the light slowly come back to his eyes. By Christmas he was back to joking around again, and he even charmed some mistletoe so that the people who met underneath it wouldn’t be able to move unless they kissed.
In the new year Y/N reenrolled in her Healer training program, and while being by himself again gave George a bit of anxiety, he packed a lunch for her and sent her off with a kiss on the cheek and a smile. And it worked out in the end, because George found himself so stir crazy without Y/N around that he managed to go back down in the joke shop. Y/N ended up finding him sitting in the office when she got home, some of Fred’s old notes clutched in his hand while he cried. She was worried that he would start to move backwards, but when George noticed her presence he opened up to her about how he was feeling instead of pushing her away. He managed to make the trek back down into the shop every day after that and now Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes will be back open for business on July first.
“You’re only saying that because it’s our wedding day, Georgie,” Y/N teases, titling her chin up so he’ll kiss her. George presses their lips together briefly and Y/N rests her head on his shoulder, watching Arthur twirl Molly around on the other side of the dancefloor.
George presses a kiss to the top of Y/N’s forehead before resting his cheek there. “You think that’ll be us in thirty years? Dancing like fools at our kids wedding?”
“I hope so. I reckon we’ll be those proper embarrassing parents, like the kinds who’s kids hate going out with them in public,” Y/N muses with a laugh.
“You mean like your parents?” George asks softly, pulling Y/N into his chest tighter. “Your cheeks were so red the first time I met them I thought you were gonna turn into a tomato.”
Y/N turns her face into George’s chest to hide the pink flush of her cheeks as the memory of George meeting her parents for the first time comes flooding back to the forefront of her mind.
-
“Not another one Mum, please,” Y/N begs before picking up a pillow off of the sofa and shoving her face into it to hide her embarrassment. All her mother does is grin as she comes back into the living room with another album full of pictures from Y/N’s childhood.
It’s easter break for Y/N, and it’s only been a few weeks since George and Fred had their grand exit from Hogwarts. While George has been busy getting ready for the joke shop’s grand opening, he agreed to come to dinner at Y/N’s house so he could finally meet her parents. He was a little nervous leading up to it, unsure of how Y/N’s parents would take to the fact that their daughter is dating a poor blood traitor who’s a recent school dropout, but the second he walked through the door all his worries washed away.
Y/N’s family manor is large, but yet somehow still feels like home. It’s bright and warm and feels lived in. Y/N’s mother had hugged him tightly as soon as he stepped through the door, and her dad playfully fell to his knees to bow down to George, making a joke about how gracious he was that someone fell in love with his smart ass daughter so he wouldn’t have to deal with her for the rest of his life. Y/N was standing just behind him looking as if she wanted the world to just open up and swallow her whole, but George found it hilarious and gave her dad a curtsey in response, telling him that her smart mouth would greatly reduce the dowry he’d be willing to pay.
Even Marjorie their house elf had teased Y/N a bit as she brought them all drinks in the parlor. She said something about how the photo Y/N keeps of George under her pillow certainly did not do him justice as he’s much more handsome in person and Y/N’s cheeks went so red it was as if she had spent hours outside in the cold. They had only been sitting down for a few minutes when the first photo album came out, and now George is about to start flicking through the fifth.
George laughs as he takes the book from Y/N’s Mum, trading her for the one he just finished flipping through. “Oh, come on, love. It’s only fair. Ginny tells you embarrassing stories about me all the time.”
“Yeah, pumpkin. It could be worse, I could have Marjorie go dig the old Muggle video player out and we could pop some of the home movies into it,” her Dad teases.
Y/N groans at that and she puts the pillow down so she can glare at her father. “Fine, fine, the photos can stay.” She leans her head against George’s shoulder as he starts to flip through the book, and she just barely sees her Mum bring the camera out from behind her back before she’s taking a picture. “Mum! We talked about this, you promised no photos!”
“Oh, come on, one photo never hurt anybody. You’ll be thankful I took this photo someday when you’re old and fondly reminiscing about your youth to your grandkids,” Y/N’s mother says, putting the camera down. “And it’ll be a nice visual aid when I tell the story about how embarrassed we made you tonight at your wedding.”
“Can we not with the wedding talk? George and I are barely eighteen.” Y/N hides her face in George’s neck, her cheeks heating up even further when George chuckles and turns his head so he can kiss her on the temple. Both of her parents let out an aw, and she picks up the nearest pillow to throw at them.
George laughs as Y/N faceplants onto her bed later that night. They’ve just finished dinner with her parents, and Y/N snuck them upstairs when her Mum went to go find another old photo album. “You regretting asking me to come to dinner?” he asks, sitting down next to Y/N.
She turns her head so she can glare at George, but it quickly turns soft when he starts to rub her lower back. “They promised me they’d be on their best behavior. Clearly they lied.”
“It’s cute, that they embarrass you or whatever. Clearly they love you a lot,” George responds softly, giving her a reassuring smile. “How much of our wedding do you think your Mum has planned?” he teases with a chuckle.
“Don’t joke about that, George. Knowing her the answer is probably the whole thing,” Y/N answers with a giggle. She rolls over onto her back so she can look up at George, letting one of her hands reach up to run through his hair. “I hope they didn’t scare you away with all of their baby photos.”
“Darling if Daphne Greengrass’ iciest glare doesn’t scare me a few photos of you with some missing teeth is nothing,” George reassures her. “Your Mum even had me mark some of my favorites for her to include in the wedding slideshow when you went to the loo.”
Y/N groans and places one of her pillows over her face, before deciding to hit George with it when he laughs at her pain.
-
“They were quite embarrassing. Though I wish we could have seen the slide show my Mum was gonna make. Bet your Mum would have added a fair few photos of you to the mix,” Y/N points out, grinning up at George.
George leans down and presses a kiss to Y/N’s forehead. “And half of them would have been of Fred I reckon, we were even harder to tell apart when we were babies.” He lets out a quiet sigh and kisses Y/N’s forehead again. “I wish he was here.”
“I know, Georgie.” Y/N squeezes George tighter for a moment, letting her eyes wander around the backyard. Ginny has a very excited Teddy Lupin on her shoulders, with both Harry and Andromeda laughing as the toddler’s face and hair changes into something new every few seconds. Bill and Fleur are in the corner trying to coax a restless Victorie to sleep and Charlie and Lee are taking shots together at one end of the bar. Percy is standing at the other end of it with Ron and Hermione, telling them a story about his new girlfriend, Audrey. “Percy did a pretty good job though, as best man. Don’t you think?”
Turns out the hardest decision in wedding planning was figuring out who the best man would be. Ginny was the natural choice for maid of honor, but it took George weeks to pick out his best man. Both Ron and Harry volunteered themselves for the role, and spent more time arguing with each other over why George should pick them rather than trying to convince George why they were the best choice. Charlie actually took himself out of the running, since he’d been Bill’s best man and didn’t want to take the opportunity away from another brother. And Lee was pretty chill about the whole thing, he was perfectly happy just to be the one in charge of the DJing.
Percy had been shocked when George asked him. Despite the fact that Percy had really tried to step back into the family after the war everyone could tell he still felt awkward. He was always the first to head home after family dinners, and the one who opted to sit on the single armchair rather than pile up with the others on one of the couches. At Christmas after he opened his Weasley sweater he excused himself to the bathroom, and they all pretended not to notice the red rims of his eyes when he came back. He always waited for someone to address him before he spoke, as if he thought no one cared about what he had to say. Most notably he always braced himself when someone brought up Fred, as if he was waiting for someone to shout at him for failing to save his brother.
But George had reassured him endlessly that he was the only person he wanted to stand up there with him while he promised Y/N forever. For one because Percy had been there for George during a time when he needed him most, and he gave George the push he needed to make things right with Y/N. George also ended up admitting later that him choosing Percy to be his best man would have annoyed Fred endlessly, and it made him feel like he was pulling one final prank on his brother.
George hums as he nods, letting go of Y/N briefly so he can twirl her around, before bringing her back against his chest. “Who knew he could be so funny? I’m pretty sure Ron nearly threw up from how hard he was laughing. It’s nice to see him be comfortable around everyone again. Feels like it did before, you know. That’s what I wanted, when I chose him. For him to feel like family again.”
“That’s actually really sweet of you, George. I’m sure Percy appreciates it,” Y/N murmurs, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Well it was either let him be the best man or name one of our kids after him, and I’m not sure I like the ring of Percy ll,” George says with a laugh.
Y/N rolls her eyes at that. “I’m revoking your naming privileges, George. You’re not allowed to name any of our eight ginger babies.”
“Eight? I thought we agreed on seven?” George asks with a soft chuckle.
“Well I decided I want eight. And a few hours ago, you stood up in front of our friends and family and promised to spend the rest of forever making me happy so it’s too late to take it all back,” Y/N states matter of factly, sticking her tongue out at George.
George shakes his head fondly and leans down to kiss Y/N slowly. “Fine, fine. Eight it is. Though we better start thinking about moving out of the flat then. Because if my height is anything to go by we’re gonna have some big babies, and I reckon we can only fit two or three of ‘em above Wheezes. And with the way you look tonight there’s no way there won’t be at least one more Weasley grandchild on the way when I’m done ravishing you.”
-
“How long do we have to wait?” George asks with a groan, flopping down onto the mattress.
“Three minutes. Same as when I told you before,” Y/N responds with an eye roll, throwing the empty pregnancy test box at George.
Despite George’s comments on their wedding night, it took them several months to even talk about getting pregnant. Once the joke shop reopened business was as good as ever. Even now eight months after reopening the store is still so busy that George has to sometimes eat his lunch while working the till or filling out paperwork. And once Y/N completed her Healer training she got stuck working the graveyard shift, so often the only time she and George saw each other was when one of them was coming home from work as the other was on their way to work.
Thankfully after a few months of hazing Y/N was switched to a much more reasonable shift, and she was back to spending most of her nights at home with George. It was then that they started discussing the next steps of their future, and both of them were set in the fact that they wanted to have a baby sooner rather than later. But they both decided to wait just a bit longer, until they had bought a house. Because even though they both love the flat above the joke shop, it’s just not big enough for a growing family.
Fred’s room hasn’t been touched since the Battle of Hogwarts. Y/N knows George has gone in there a few times, on the days when he misses his brother the most. But nothing has been moved or tidied up. There’re still shoes, and clothes and random papers all strewn about that George just hasn’t had the heart to get rid of. Y/N figures it helps George feel like Fred is still close by, so she doesn’t push him to clear it out. Except their bedroom in the flat was too small to have all the stuff needed for a baby, so they decided that a house would come before their family.
But as it turns out, there’s a possibility they’re happening at the same time. It took them a few months to find the right house, and with Y/N’s inheritance from her parents they were able to buy a nice piece of land out in the country with a beautiful house with enough room for the large family they both want. There’s a great little pond and a tire swing, and enough room for a Quidditch pitch too.
And Y/N had figured her missed period was due to the stress of the move. But a few days ago, she woke up from a dream covered in a cold sweat that made her start to think otherwise. Fred was there. He was in the field behind her and George’s new house running around in the warm summer sunshine, chasing after a little boy. And when the little boy finally turned to look at her, Y/N felt like she couldn’t breathe. His hair was the same color as her own, but his face was all George. The same deep brown eyes, the same light freckles dotted on the same pale skin. It was uncanny really, and when the boy finally noticed her he called her Mum and started running towards her. Just before Y/N could wrap her arms around him she woke up, her heart pounding and the image of the little boy still fresh in her mind. She decided then it was time to take a test.
“What a great way to spend the first night in our new house eh?” George asks with a nervous laugh, patting the spot on the mattress next to him.
“Certainly not the way I imagined us breaking in the new house,” Y/N responds with a laugh as she settles down on the mattress with him, the pregnancy test clutched in her hand. They barely have any furniture set up and their mattress is laying on the ground and yet they may need to start planning for a nursery.
George takes the pregnancy test from Y/N’s hand and puts it face down on the bed before he takes her face in his hands and kisses her softly. “I love you, teacup. And whether this test is positive or not I can’t wait to start our family.”
“I love you too, Georgie.” Y/N lets her eyes flutter shut as George presses a lingering kiss to her forehead, unable to stop herself from thinking about the time she and George first talked about having children.
-
“You still awake down there, teacup?” George whispers into the still air. He didn’t want to say anything and after falling asleep next to Y/N for the past year he’s gotten pretty good at telling if she’s asleep by the pace of her breathing. But the bandage wrapped around his right ear is making it hard to hear, and he needs to know if Y/N is still awake or not.
Y/N’s head pops up immediately and she looks over at George. “What’s wrong? Does your head hurt? It is bleeding?”
George chuckles and shakes his head, shutting his eyes when the room starts to spin. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Just an idiot, give me a minute.” Once George can no longer feel his heartbeat in his temples he opens his eyes and gives Y/N a reassuring smile. “Will you stop fussing? Mum’s done enough of that for you tonight.”
“I can’t help it, George. I thought you were gonna die.” Y/N’s voice cracks as the final word of her sentence falls from her lips, and she can feel the tears welling in her eyes.
The Battle of the seven Harrys had been a shitshow from the moment they left the ground. Y/N was riding a Thestral with Ron, and from the second they took off Death Eaters were everywhere. Luckily Ron is pretty talented with his defensive spell casting, and all Y/N really had to focus on was flying them back to the Burrow safely. Which was good, because the fight she’d gotten into with George earlier in the evening was still weighing heavily on her mind.
She wasn’t even supposed to be there. The original plan had been that Y/N would stay behind at The Burrow with Ginny and Molly, that way if anyone came back injured she’d be there to help assist Molly with any healing. But then Tonks announced that she’s pregnant and Y/N made Mad Eye Moody change the plan so Y/N could take her place during the actual mission. Which George was not happy about and they left the Burrow for Privet Drive still fuming from their fight.
“Teacup,” George coos, reaching out to stroke Y/N’s cheek. “You didn’t think you could get rid of me that easily, did you?” he teases, trying to get her to crack a smile. “Snivellous has wanted to take me out for years I reckon, it was only a matter of time before he tried.”
Y/N turns her head so she can kiss George’s palm lightly. “That’s not funny, George. You really could have died.”
“And you could have as well, Y/N,” George reminds her.
“Better me than Tonks,” Y/N mumbles, looking down at the floor.
“Don’t say that,” George responds firmly, gripping Y/N’s chin so he can make her look at him. There are tears spilling down her cheek, and George lets go of her chin so he can wipe them away with his thumb. Even in the dim light of the living room Y/N looks breathtakingly beautiful, and just the thought of living without her makes his stomach lurch. “Tonks is a big girl and would have been just fine going on the mission.”
“What if it was me? Hm?” Y/N asks, looking at George expectantly. “What if I was the pregnant one about to go on a mission that could kill me? Kill our unborn child? Wouldn’t you want someone to take my place?”
“Of course, I would, Y/N,” George chokes out around the few tears streaming down his cheeks. He’s not really sure when they started pouring out, but he imagines it was when Y/N mentioned their unborn child and death in the same breath. “But this is different.”
Y/N shakes her head. “How? How is Tonks being pregnant any different?”
“Because Tonks isn’t the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, Y/N. She’s not the person who I want to carry my children or raise my children with. It’s you.” George reaches down and grabs the charms of the necklace he gave Y/N, rubbing them between his thumb and his pointer finger. “When I gave you this necklace and promised you forever I meant it, teacup. I wanna marry you and have babies with you. And I can’t do that with you if you’re dead, can I?”
“You really think about all that stuff?” Y/N asks through her sniffles, her tone full of a mixture of surprise and disbelief. While she knows that her and George were both on the same page about starting a life together someday, she had no idea he was thinking that seriously about it. They’re just barely nineteen, and Y/N figured marriage and babies were far away in their future, so far away that they would never even cross George’s mind.
George motions for Y/N to come up and lay on the couch with him. “I’m not going to break. Get up here. I wanna hold you, teacup.” Once Y/N is settled on his chest, her head on his shoulder and their legs intertwined he continues. “Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about all that stuff. Like how we’re gonna get married someday. And live on a load of land somewhere. With some chickens and a dog. And a few ginger babies of course, can’t forget about them.”
Just George talking about them having children spikes Y/N’s heart rate, and she has to take a few deep breaths to try and calm herself down. “How many ginger babies are we gonna have?”
“Hm, I reckon maybe two or three? A boy first, and then a girl. And then I think another girl would be nice,” George explains, starting to slowly rub Y/N’s back. “Why, teacup? How many do you want?”
“At least four,” Y/N says seriously, tilting her head so she can look at George. “Two of each. Maybe even a set of twins. A mini Fred and George perhaps.”
George chuckles and leans down to kiss Y/N softly. “Really? You sure you could handle another set of me and Fred? We gave you quite a bit of hell back in our school days if you remember correctly.”
“Yeah and look at where we are now. Laying on a couch together talking about all the babies we’re gonna have,” Y/N points out with a chuckle. “Besides can you imagine McGonagall’s face when two mini versions of you show up at Hogwarts one day? Bet she’d quit on the spot.”
“Oh come on, good old Minnie loved us. And let’s not forget you caused a bit of trouble as well, Y/N. Just the thought of planting a garden still gives me nightmares after you dropped that load of Dragon Dung fertilizer on Fred and I,” George reminds her with a laugh.
“And you made my hair turn yellow for weeks! And made my tongue nearly explode,” Y/N counters. “You want me to list more? Because I can list more.”
“No it’s okay, I get the point.” George just sits there quietly for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Y/N’s weight on top of him. “Just promise me you’ll be careful out there, yeah? Can’t have our four ginger babies without you, Y/N.”
Y/N pulls George’s mouth down to hers again for a few moments. “You too, George. You’re kind of the whole ginger in the situation, so you’re pretty essential in the mix.”
“I promise,” George mumbles, pressing one more kiss to Y/N’s mouth.
-
“You think it’s been three minutes yet?” George whispers, bringing Y/N’s mind back to the present.
“Probably,” she responds, looking up at George. Y/N reaches up and touches his cheek softly. “You wanna do the honors?”
George reaches his hand out and grabs the pregnancy test, keeping it flipped upside down. “How about we look together?” When Y/N nods George brings the test in between them and he uses his free hand to grab one of hers. “On the count of three, yeah? One, two three.”
As soon as the last number leaves George’s mouth he flips the test over to look at the results. There’s two dark pink lines staring back at them, and her and George look back up at each other.
“What did the two lines mean again?” Y/N asks.
George frowns. “I was gonna ask you the same thing.”
They both start to throw their blankets and pillows away, trying to find where the box landed after Y/N threw it at George a few minutes ago. “Why didn’t you just buy the one with the words? You had to get the one you need a diagram to figure out.”
“I was overwhelmed, okay? I’ve never been in a muggle pharmacy before and there was like 25 different tests and I couldn’t tell the difference between them all and I just grabbed one at random,” George huffs. He feels his fingers skim over the cardboard box and his eyes light up as he grabs it. “Aha! Here it is!” George skims his eyes over the directions on the back a few times to make sure he fully understands them. “Two lines means pregnant.”
They both let out a small gasp as their eyes drop back down to the test still clutched in Y/N’s hand. The two lines look even more defined now that they know what it means, and when they make eye contact again there are tears pooling in both of their eyes.
“We’re pregnant?” Y/N asks breathily.
“Well I don’t know how pregnant I am. But you’re definitely pregnant,” George teases with a grin.
Y/N rolls her eyes and shoves George’s shoulder before she grabs it and pulls him into a kiss. “Can’t believe I’m having a baby with an idiot like you,” she mumbles between kisses.
“And I can’t believe I’m having a baby with a meanie like you,” George responds playfully, placing his hand on Y/N’s stomach. He spreads his fingers and presses down lightly, as if there’s something there for him to feel already. “I love you,” he murmurs, resting his forehead against Y/N’s.
“You talking to me or the baby?” she asks quietly, placing her hand on top of George’s.
“Both.”
-
Fred Weasley ll comes into the world amidst a flurry of chaos, and it only feels right considering who his namesake is.
The day started out like any other. With her maternity leave in full effect, Y/N decided to head to the joke shop with George. While she can’t do much of anything besides sit behind the till and ring customers out, it made her feel good to be helpful rather than just sitting around the house twiddling her thumbs waiting for George to get home. And she knew George liked the fact that he could keep an eye on her throughout the day.
The pain started not too long after opening. At first she just passed it off as normal pregnancy pains, because she was nearly full term and she couldn’t remember the last time she didn’t have a dull ache radiating through some part of her body. But by midafternoon the pain was radiating through her back and down into her pelvis and not even sitting down eased it. She tried to hide it from George, not wanting him to go into full panic mode during the workday. But then he noticed her wincing as she sat back down after lunch and George started keeping an annoyingly close eye on her.
And then her water broke. George was cleaning up around the checkout counter and some dust that had been kicked up irritated Y/N’s nose and she couldn’t help but sneeze hard. When the liquid first started to leak out she was mortified, figuring she’d just pissed herself. But then she stood up and a large flush of liquid came out along with the largest pain she’d ever felt in her lower half. Y/N and George had just stared at each other for a moment, before realization hit them both. Clearly this baby was coming and coming soon.
George had one of the shop employees send an owl to his Mum while he helped Y/N up the stairs, wanting to Floo them over to St. Mungo’s as quickly as possible. Every few steps they’d had to stop so Y/N could breathe through a contraction, and by the time they reached the fireplace in their old flat George was surprised the baby hadn’t slipped out yet. Except when he reaches into the bowl on the mantle to grab some Floo Powder his fingers didn’t find anything.
They’d had to shuffle their way through Diagon Alley to use the public Floo at the Leaky Cauldron, and by the time they reached St. Mungo’s Y/N was already on the verge of giving birth and both she and George were soaked to the bone from the torrential downpour the sky unleashed halfway through their journey.
Baby Fred was born as thunder started to rumble, and he let out his first cry just as a flash of lightening came crashing down. Y/N is sure both she and George were crying harder than the rain that was going on outside. Fred’s eyes were already open when the Healer placed him on Y/N’s chest, and he was blinking up at her with wide brown eyes. He was already the spitting image of his Father, but the tufts of hair coming out of his head more resembled the color of Y/N’s hair. And while Y/N has never been particularly confident in the magic of Divination, she felt deep in her chest that he was the little boy she’d seen in her dream.
“What’s on your mind, Dad?” Y/N asks George quietly with a grin. It’s well past midnight, and little baby Fred is sleeping soundly against Y/N’s chest. George has been sitting in the chair next to Y/N’s hospital bed for the past hour watching their son’s chest rise up and down slowly, a look of concentration on his face.
“You sure it’s okay we named him after Fred?” George asks, looking up at Y/N. “We could have named him after your Dad. I didn’t even think about that. I should have thought about that.”
Y/N chuckles and pats the edge of her bed carefully, inviting George to come and sit with her. “Can I tell you about a dream I had? I think it might make you feel better.”
“Was it a sexy dream?” George asks with a raise of his eyebrows as he comes and sits down with Y/N. He rests one of his hands on Fred’s back, lightly stroking it with his thumb.
“No, it was not a sexy dream you oaf,” Y/N responds with an eye roll. “It was a couple nights before we moved, before I knew I was pregnant. It was summertime, and I was out in the backyard at the house. And Fred was there. He was chasing this little boy around in that field, the one we turned into the Quidditch pitch. And the little boy, he had my color hair but his face, his face was all you George. And then he called me Mum, and ran towards me, but I woke up before he got to me.”
George just sits there for a moment, letting Y/N’s words sink in. He suddenly feels overcome with emotion as he thinks about what she said, and he has to wipe away a few of the tears that escape his eyes. “That’s funny you say that, because I had a similar dream to that the night we found out you were pregnant.”
Y/N raises her eyebrows as she looks at George. “Really? What happened?”
“I was back at the Burrow. It was empty, quiet. But I could hear a creaking noise. And I followed it all the way up the stairs, to Fred and I’s old room. It looked the same, except there was a rocking chair in the corner. And Fred was sitting in it, and he was rocking back and forth, holding a baby. We made eye contact, but he didn’t say anything. He just gave me a little wink and then I woke up.”
“I don’t know a lot about divination or dream analysis. I don’t really know if I believe in any of it either. But I have a feeling we had those dreams for a reason,” Y/N explains, reaching up to cup one of George’s cheeks. “Like that was Fred, I dunno. Hand picking his name sake or something. Someone just as mischievous as him. A little pay back for Percy being your best man, perhaps?”
George laughs quietly and reaches a hand up to grab Y/N’s intertwining their fingers and giving them a soft squeeze. “You know what, teacup. I think you’re right. I have a feeling we’re in for a wild ride. And I can’t wait.”
-
And what a wild ride it is.
By the time George and Y/N are celebrating their 10-year wedding anniversary their house is steadily filling up with kids and with all the trouble they get into it’s a good thing George pushed Y/N to fulfill her dreams of being a Healer. It seems every day at least one of their kids is getting injured in some way: a scraped knee, a bump on the head, a bit of smoke inhalation from a whizbang George let Fred set off inside of the house. With how wild and unpredictable their kids are every day is an adventure, even the most mundane family days always seem to end up with something unexpected getting thrown into the mix.
“Mum! Mum! Can you open this for me? Please?” Fred asks excitedly, holding a candy bar up to Y/N’s face.
She eyes him wearily, taking it from him slowly. “Did your Dad say you could have this?”
Fred grins up at Y/N, and he looks so much like his Dad that it melts her heart. “Well he didn’t say no.” When Y/N narrows her eyes at him he lets out a giggle. “He was in the middle of filling something out and he told me to ask you.”
It’s a Saturday, so the whole family is at the joke shop together. Once Fred was born George hated having to leave him and Y/N at home when he went into the shop, so she started tagging along with the baby. It was a nice way for them to spend time together as a family, and when Y/N went back to work and the weekend became their only full family days it seemed natural for her and Fred to tag along with George to work. Now several years and a few more kids later, it’s still Y/N’s favorite family tradition.
“And so, you decided to ask me if you could have the candy bar, by asking me to open it?” Y/N asks with a laugh.
“Well if you said yes to opening it, that kinda already answers the whole, can I have it question,” Fred reasons.
Y/N rolls her eyes fondly and tears open the candy bar. “Nine years old and you’re already trying to out smart me. I’m so proud of you.” She leans down to press a kiss to his messy hair before handing him the sweet. “Share that with your sister, yeah? It’s 10 am I don’t need you on a full sugar rush already.”
“Thanks Mum!”
Fred runs off just as George comes up and he watches his son disappear with a fond shake of his head. “Oh to be young and have energy,” he muses with a grin, wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist.
“Please, you still have plenty of energy left. Or have you forgotten how we got into this mess?” Y/N asks with a grin, pointing down at her bump. In just a few short weeks their family will be growing by two more, and Y/N is already exhausted just thinking about having to run after five kids.
“Oh trust me, I definitely remember how I got us into that mess,” George responds cheekily, leaning down to kiss Y/N sweetly. Luckily the store has been pretty slow so far, and they can spend the next few moments moving their lips together softly, just enjoying being in each other’s presence.
“Ew, gross,” Freya giggles, standing up on her tiptoes so she can peer at her parents over the checkout counter.
Y/N pulls away from George’s mouth with a sigh, turning her head to look at their youngest. All that’s visible over the counter is her wide eyes and the mess of fiery red curls on the top of her head. “Can we help you with something, nugget?”
Freya’s head disappears then and a few seconds later she reappears next to George’s leg, raising her arms up and bouncing on her toes. “Up please!”
“Ah, the Queen has made her demands!” George announces playfully. He gives Y/N a wink before letting her go, and he leans down to grab Freya, placing her on his shoulders. “Is this high enough for you, my Queen?” he asks, tickling her sides lightly.
“Daddy!” Freya squeals between her giggles, trying to get away from George’s attack. “No more, no more!”
George chuckles and gives her one more tickle. “Alright, alright, no more tickles.” The bell above the door jingles then and George leans down to give Y/N one final kiss. “Duty calls. I love you, teacup.”
“Love you too, Georgie.” Y/N reaches up and tugs on one of Freya’s curls. Despite the fact that she’s only three and has quite a bit of hair they’ve yet to cut any of it, and Y/N watches the long curl bounce back into place when she lets it go. “See you in a bit, nugget.”
Freya gives a little salute as George starts to head towards the customer before tangling her hands in his hair and pulling on them as if she were pulling on reins. “Horsey, horsey!”
George actually starts to move as if he were galloping, and Y/N shakes her head fondly as their daughter starts to laugh.
The store starts to pick up then, and for a few hours it seems like there’s a never-ending stream of people filtering through the door. Every once in a while Y/N gets a glimpse of George over the crowds of people, since Freya is still happily sitting on his shoulders, and every now and again Y/N watches the crowd part as Fred or Roxanne run through it.
They’ve just opened back up after shutting down for lunch, and Y/N has her back to the shop as she sorts through some of the mail. She turns around at the sound of someone clearing their throat and her heart drops into her stomach.
“Daphne. Hi,” she greets quietly, stepping back up to the counter.
It’s been over a decade since she last saw her old best friend, but the memory of their last conversation comes flooding back to her as if it took place yesterday.
-
“I can’t believe you’re moving in with George Weasley,” Daphne muses with a grin as she watches Y/N pack a few things away.
It’s been just over a month since they graduated from Hogwarts, and with her Healer training starting soon, Y/N decided to take George up on his offer to move into the flat above the joke shop with him and Fred. Now that they’re both transitioning into adulthood, their free time to spend together is sparse, and even though taking this next step is scary Y/N can’t wait to be officially living with George.
“I know, right? This time last year all I could think about was getting revenge on him and Fred for turning my hair yellow. And now all I can think about is the fact that I get to wake up next to him every morning,” Y/N admits with a soft blush.
“Just George and his little teacup,” Daphne teases, laughing wildly when Y/N throws a pillow at her.
Ginny had once jokingly suggested Y/N get a teacup pin after she noticed the teapot pin Y/N bought for George, since they’re always together and Y/N is so much smaller than George. After that day George’s new nickname for Y/N became teacup. And while she pretends that it annoys her, deep down she actually really loves it.
“You’re one to talk, Daph. It’s only what? A month until the wedding?” Y/N points out with a laugh. The smile on Daphne’s face falters and Y/N gives her a look. “What’s up? You’re not getting cold feet, are you?”
Daphne shakes her head as she sits up, giving Y/N a look. “No, of course not. I like to give Marcus a lot of shit pretty much all the time, but I really do love him. There’s just something I wanna talk to you about.”
“Oh?” Y/N asks quietly, sitting down across from her. There are very few things Daphne gets flustered over, and with the look she has on her face Y/N can tell she’s about to say something serious.
“You um. You can’t come. To the wedding,” Daphne stutters out, casting her gaze downwards. “Adrian said he’s not coming if you do and he’s Marcus’ best friend and I just want our wedding to be perfect and I know he’ll be upset if Adrian doesn’t come.”
Y/N can feel tears start to form in the corners of her eyes and she quickly tries to blink them away. “What? Daphne we’ve been best friends since we were eleven. You’re not going to be upset that I’m not there?”
“No of course I am! Y/N you know you’re like a sister to me. But Marcus is going to be my husband and it’s my job to do everything in my power to make him happy,” Daphne responds, reaching out to grab Y/N’s hand.
But Y/N pulls away and stands up. “Daph, it’s your wedding day too. You should have a say in who gets to be there.” Y/N pauses and just looks at Daphne, thinking about all the things they’ve been through together over the past seven years. “You’re really going to choose Adrian over me?”
“You chose George over us,” Daphne reminds her, finally making eye contact with Y/N again.
“That was different Daphne and you know that. I put space between me and Adrian because he was breaking the boundaries of our friendship and it was making George uncomfortable. And it was clearly the right decision since he kissed me and tried to get me to leave George at graduation.” Y/N sighs and crosses her arms over her chest. “George didn’t force me to do anything, Marcus is clearly forcing you to do this.”
Daphne rolls her eyes. “Marcus isn’t forcing me to do anything, I’m just doing my duty as his future wife.”
“That’s a bunch of crap and you know it. If Marcus really loved you he wouldn’t let some stupid drama from school get in the way of you being just as happy as he is,” Y/N responds firmly.
Daphne stands up then, her expression angry. “Don’t act so high and mighty, Y/N. Just because you have ambitions outside of being someone’s wife or a mother doesn’t mean you’re any better than I am.”
“Well at least when I get married I’ll be an equal in the relationship, rather than my husband’s little pet for him to boss around,” Y/N spits.
“You know what? Fuck you. You’re not welcome at my wedding. Or in my life in general.” Daphne grabs her bag and starts to storm out of Y/N’s bedroom.
“Who said I wanted to be in your life anyway?” Y/N shouts at Daphne’s back, listening to the sound of the front door slamming shut echo through the house.
-
“Oh. Um, hi, Y/N. I didn’t know that you worked here,” Daphne responds awkwardly, placing the few things in her arms down on the counter.
“Oh, I don’t work here, not really. I just come in on Saturdays, with the kids. It’s a good way for us to spend time together as a family.” Y/N starts to key the products into the register, not really sure what to say. The air between her and Daphne is awkward, and Y/N can see Marcus fidgeting a few feet behind Daphne, looking at some things on a shelf with a little boy. “These for your son?”
Daphne spares a glance over her shoulder at her son and Marcus, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “No, they’re for Adrian’s son. It’s his birthday today, we’re having dinner with them tonight. Although MJ does love his fair share of Weasley products.” She pauses, letting her eyes flick down to Y/N’s bump for a moment. “Is that your first?”
“Four and five actually,” Y/N responds with a laugh. She gestures to where George is standing talking with one of the employees, Freya back on his shoulders. “That’s number three over there, Freya and funnily enough she also happens to be three. And over there,” Y/N pauses gesturing to the pygmy puff cage where a little girl with curly hair the same color as Y/N’s is happily petting a little black puff. “is Roxanne, number two. She just turned six and has spent the past few weeks trying to convince us to let her take home another pygmy puff.”
Y/N scans the store for a moment, trying to find Fred. When her eyes finally land on him he has his knees hooked around a rung of the ladder George uses to reach products on the upper shelves, and he’s hanging upside down with a toothy grin. “Fred Weasley ll you get off that ladder right now! You’ve already cracked your skull open once this year and I am not cleaning up anymore of your blood.” Fred laughs wildly as he climbs down, and Y/N shakes her head as she looks back to Daphne.
“That’ll be Fred, our oldest. He’s only a few years off from Hogwarts, and is it bad if I say I’m looking forward to it just a little bit?” Y/N asks with a small laugh.
Daphne laughs as well, grabbing her wallet to pay for their stuff. “Oh trust me, I’m right there with you. I don’t know how you do it, we’ve just got MJ and I feel like I can barely keep up with him. I’m looking forward to the peace and quiet when he’s off at school.”
“George is a great help, I don’t think I could do it without him. He loves being a Dad, and he’s pretty good at it too.” Y/N hands Daphne her bag and gives her a final smile. “Thanks for coming by. It was nice to see you.”
Roxanne comes up just as Daphne and Marcus leave the store with their son and pulls up a chair so she can climb up onto the counter, being careful not to let the black pygmy puff on her head fall off. “Who was that, Mummy?”
“Just a girl I was friends with, back when I was at Hogwarts,” Y/N responds sadly, tucking a stray curl behind Roxanne’s ear.
“Oh. You’re not friends anymore?” Roxanne asks with a frown.
Y/N shakes her head and leans forward to press a kiss to her daughter’s forehead. “No, not anymore. But that’s okay. We used to have loads and loads of fun together, and now I get to have loads and loads of fun with you and your siblings and your Dad.”
“I can’t wait to make tons of friends when I’m at Hogwarts. It’s so not fair that Freddie gets to go sooner than me.” Roxanne pauses, giving Y/N a cheeky grin. “Do you think if I snuck on the train they’d just let me stay?”
“Hmm, I don’t know love. Why don’t you give it a try when it’s time for Freddie to go?”
Roxanne giggles as Y/N presses a kiss to her forehead and she gives her mother an excited look when she pulls away. “Oh trust me, I’m planning on it.”
-
“You think she’s going to try and sneak onto the train?” George asks, leaning over to whisper in Y/N’s ear.
They’re heading towards the entrance to Platform 9 and ¾’s to send Fred off on his very first train ride to Hogwarts. Despite the fact that it’s been over two years since Roxanne first divulged her plan to sneak to Hogwarts with her older brother, she still hasn’t forgotten about it, and she had reminded Y/N and George of her plan last night when they tucked her into bed.
“I dunno, but I don’t think it would be a bad thing to keep an extra close eye on her,” Y/N responds with a chuckle. Roxanne and Freya are walking out in front of everyone, holding hands and twirling each other around. Their curls flounce as they move, and as if she can tell they’re talking about her, Roxanne looks back at her parents and gives them a wink.
Fred is in the middle, pushing his cart along all by himself. He insisted that he could handle it on his own, since he’s going to be off at Hogwarts, and even though Y/N can tell he’s struggling a bit the grin on his face keeps her from intervening. Not that she or George would be much help. Archer and Leo, their twins, are two now, and George has one attached to each leg, giggling wildly as he walks and Y/N has a baby wrap tied around her torso, with their three-month-old daughter Scarlet laying in it fast asleep.
When they reach the wall between platforms nine and ten, Roxanne and Freya pause, looking back at their parents.
“Can we go?” Roxanne asks hopefully, mischief in her eyes.
George laughs and shakes his head. “Let your Mum and Freddie go first, yeah? You two can go through with me after.”
Roxanne pouts but steps aside, nonetheless, pulling Freya to her side as Y/N comes to stand next to Fred. She puts one of her hands on his shoulder, and the other on the handle of the cart. “Ready?” she asks, looking at her son.
“More than ready,” Fred responds with a laugh.
They push through the barrier together, and the platform looks just the same as Y/N remembers. It’s bustling with people as per usual and as George and the girls join them they navigate through the crowd to try and find a spot to say goodbye.
Once Fred’s things are loaded onto the train, Freya and Roxanne are the first to hug him goodbye, but they’re both too entranced by the Platform and the train to really care that they won’t see him for the next few months. Archer and Leo are too busy chasing each other around the small area to care, but Fred grabs them both and presses a kiss to their heads before letting them toddle off after each other again.
George pulls him into a hug first, and his hands shake as a few tears slip down his cheeks. “Love you so much, bud. You’re gonna have so much fun, I promise. Your Mum tried to take it out, but I slipped that box of Wheeze products into your trunk this morning. Just send an owl when you’re getting low and I’ll send more.” He pulls away so he can look at Fred, and the bright look in his eyes reminds him so much of him and Fred when they were that age he has to take a moment to calm himself down. “I’m handing the prank torch down to you, and I know it’ll be in good hands.”
By the time Y/N is pulling Fred into a hug there are tears fully falling down her cheeks and they fall into his hair when she brings him in as close as she can. “Don’t get into too much trouble, yeah? But have fun and learn a lot, that’s kinda the whole point.” She pulls away to press a lingering kiss to his forehead and runs her hand through his wild hair. “And don’t be too hard on the Slytherins, yeah? Your future wife might just be one of them.”
“Ew,” Fred responds, scrunching up his nose.
Y/N laughs and presses one more kiss to his forehead. “I love you, Fred. Write loads, yeah?”
“All the time,” Fred promises. He reaches into the wrap to give his littlest sister a kiss on the head before he steps back to look at both of his parents. “Bye, love you guys.”
“Hang on, one more thing.” Fred pauses and looks up at George, watching as he takes the teapot pin off of the lapel of his jacket. “A piece of me and mum for you to have with you, yeah?”
It’s the first time Y/N has seen George without it and the tears streaming down her face fall harder as he pins it to their son’s sweater. Almost subconsciously she reaches up to grab at the charms of her necklace, letting their familiar texture soothe her as she watches Fred climb up onto the train.
Forever seemed like a long time when Y/N and George first promised it to each other on that journey back to Hogwarts all those years ago. But now, watching that same train carry their first born away as their other kids laugh and play around them it just doesn’t seem like enough.
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Request: hiii love, could you write an ouat Peter Pan X fem reader in which they are fuckfriends and she gets hurt during a battle (against someone idk) and he saves her? Maybe smut? Idk you decide
Requested by: anon
Pairing: Peter Pan (ouat) X fem!reader
Warning: Whump, Smut, violence, blood, a lot of sex references
P.s. if you find any mistake please correct me, English is not my mother tongue and I want to improve. Reblog, if you can, it helps a lot, thank you💕
P.p.s. gif belongs to the creator
Carelessness
"Shit" Y/n said in the moment she noticed her sword was missing. Pirates were pretty tedious but it was usually almost funny fighting them. It was okay for Peter welcoming a random battle sometimes, he said it was good to keep all the boys alert and he had this capacity to turn everything into a game, but introducing in the camp and stealing some of their weapons? Mostly outrageous. Peter was mad.
"Bunch of idiots, no one steals from Peter Pan" He whispered between his teeth, his eyes looking at the empty wood box y\n and some others used to keep the swords in. "They must have suicidal thoughts, there is no other explanation" Felix said and shrugged, his scar shining in the light of the moon.
"Where is Y/n?" Peter asked with urgency in his voice; she immediately walked toward him.
"I'm here" She said and he turned to look at her.
"How many of them?" He asked. All the Lost Boys were quite; when Peter was in a bad mood things were always tensed up.
"This morning I checked and they were almost thirty" She said; she was one of Peter's closest member of the crew and she was his eyes around the island, not to mention that she was her fuckfriend.
"Good... Boys, go collect your weapons, we're paying a little visit to the pirates tonight" The boys started to cheer up and run all around the camp, they were exited about the battle to come. As soon as everyone came back to the center of the camp, Peter spoke again.
"I know you are looking forward to killing those bastards, but remember to be careful: this time they have our swords and I don't need to remind you of the Dreamshade we soaked them it. Don't let the blades touch your skin" The atmosphere suddenly got darker. The Lost Boys looked at each other in concern, but they would never had given up on a proper battle. As soon as Felix gave the okay and walked toward the beach, all of the Boys started to follow him.
"Y\n?" Peter gently grabbed her by her arm and pulled her toward him, she stopped walking and looked at him in confusion.
"Peter, what's wrong?" She whispered those words. They used to be very discreet, almost indifferent to each other when the boys were around, besides they didn't want anyone to realize: she considered all of the Boys like brothers, but she felt an attraction toward him that wasn't fraternal at all and he felt the same. Since she arrived, a year before, they started to fight a lot but also to admire each other, untill they ended up sleeping together.
"I'd love you not to show your usual carelessness toward your life, just this once" He said putting a finger toward her chin and raising her head, she chuckled looking at him: she had to admit she was pretty reckless, but the battle gave her such an adrenaline that she couldn't help herself but forget the safety rules.
"I'll see what I can do" She joked and winked at him, she also gave him a very quick kiss on his lips, followed by a teasing bite. "Don't worry about me, save your strength to fuck me later instead" She whispered bringing her lips closer to his ear.
"Don't tease me, babe, or you won't be able to stop screaming all night long" He said and grinned looking at her.
"I should tease you more often then" she said and bit her lower lip, he rolled his eyes in frustration: he wanted her now. She gave him one last look and turned around. He puffed in frustration as looking at her joining the rest of the boys and accepting a sword that Felix was offering her. That girl really was a pain in the ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The pirates were surely taller and more robust than all of the Boys, but they hadn't done a good job: the battle was almost over and the Lost Boys hadn't lost a single member while the pirates were almost all dead. Y/n was just looking around searching for the sword they had stolen from her: the one Felix lent to her was not bad, but hers was balanced in the perfect way, besides it was less heavy and with a smaller haft. She had just spotted her sword when she decided to go and get it back.
"Where are you going?" Her best friend, Tyler, stoped her; he was covered in sand and sweat. She cleaned his face from the dirt and pointed at her sword.
"I'll come with you" he said, he had an instinct of protection toward her. They walked toward the dead bodies. The corpse of a pirate was still holding her sword in his left hand, the blood colouring the whole blade. Tyler reached out to take it when the man's opened his eyes: before he could even realize what was about to happen, he used his last strength to raise his torso and he would have soaked the blade in his stomach, but y\n pushed him aside so the sword ended up thrusting in her left hip. She immediately looked down and opened her eyes wide, her own blood was dripping down her leg and she was so shocked she couldn't even perceive any pain. The man looked at her and gave her one last smile before letting himself go: while falling down on his back, he pulled the sword out and she finally screamed in pain.
"Peter, Y/n is hurt" Tyler called out for Peter in disbelief and before she could say anything she started to feel her legs weakening. She was kneeling down when she felt Peter's arm catching her.
"Oh my... fuck!" He almost shouted while slowly laying her on the ground. Y/n felt the cold sand behind her back, almost a shocking contrast opposed to the warmth of the blood running down her leg and soaking her trousers.
"What the fuck happened?" Peter asked, his voice filled with terror and madness. Y/n was starting to realize that she was about to pass out: her view was clouded, she felt drops of cold sweat running down her forehead and she couldn't perceive her body with clearness anymore. It took all of her strength to raise he torso and look at the wound: the black of the poison was drawing spirals around the deep cut, the Dreamshade was running through her body already. "Stay still" Peter commanded her while working his magic on her, his hands were shaking. "Fuck fuck fuck, the battle tired me out, my magic is not on top; besides she is losing too much blood, I can't close the wound with the poison still inside. I need to take her back to my place" He said, frustration dominating his every word and move. As always, his bad mood was reflecting in the weather: big dark clouds were massing over them. She looked at his hands: they were red, red like the fire, she knew that it was her blood colouring them. He raised her from the ground by taking her body into his arms, it was almost like she weighed nothing. She realised that they were flying and smiled, she always wanted to fly like him.
"Don't worry, I'm going to fix this" He tried to reassure himself more than her, she held him with her hands crossed behind his shoulders and nodded.
"I am sorry.... Looks like I've acted carelessly again" She whispered while closing her eyes, she felt tired and cold. He chuckled while flying over the forest.
"I wasn't expecting anything different" He nervously joked. He tried to focus on what to do but he seriously was worried, what if magic wouldn't have been enough? No. It had to be enough. He wouldn't have lost her. She smiled and slowly fell asleep, he gave a quick look at her and couldn't stop thinking about the fact that if he wasn't going to be successful he wouldn't have been able to live with himself.
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The sun. It was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. Rays of sunshine were penetrating through the roof made out of branches. The brightness of the sun made the leaves look almost white. She was in Peter's house. She squeezed her eyes and tried to stand up but, in the moment she raised her torso, an excruciating pain crossed her hip and stomach.
"Shit!" She exclaimed and laid back down. Her hands touching her wound, it was warm.
"Don't move, you could get hurt" Peter's voice made her turn left: he was sitting in a chair, his green eyes fixed on her and his hands crossed under his chin. He looked relieved.
"Thank you, I noticed" She said and he chuckled. He stood up and walked toward the bed. Before she could say anything he lifted her shirt and checked the bandaging.
"You need another couple of days to get back on your feet, at least the wound is not bleeding anymore anytime you move" He said and looked at her, she nodded and tried to sit up with her back against the wall. It was a bit painful but totally bearable if done slowly. "Good girl" He said and smirked at her, she rolled her eyes.
"Why would you say such a thing right now that I can't fuck you?" She asked in frustration, he chuckled and got closer to her; he caressed her cheek and runner his fingers toward her neck, then closed them around it and pulled her toward him. She moaned before he kissed her: the kiss was urgent, deep, passionate. He had seriously feared that he could have lost her, he never stopped thinking that he cared about her more than how he believed. Sex was amazing with that girl but almost losing her gave him the certainty that she was so much more than that for him. She was caressing the back of his head while pulling his hair, her body barely moving because of her pain but he knew her, she wanted more and he wanted more too, but that was not the time.
"Babe, stop..." He whispered on her lips, she gave him one last kiss before puffing in frustration. He looked at her and gently moved a lock of her Y/c/h behind her ear.
"I want you" She said, her voice filled with desire. He cursed internally.
"Y/n, I want you too, more than anything, but we must have a little patience" He said and caressed her lips with his thumb, she nodded and kissed it.
"Thank you, you saved my life" she said and put her hand on his chest, he smiled while sitting next to her and gently pulling her in his arms, she felt safe.
"And you saved Tyler's, you have been brave" He said and gave her a kiss on her head, she shrugged while caressing his chest.
"I admit that I hadn't realized that pirate was still alive" She confessed and looked at him, he kissed her quickly.
"I admit that the idea of losing you almost drove me crazy" He confessed and she looked at him in confusion. Did she really matter that much to him? She couldn't imagine... She always had feelings for him, since they started having sex, but confessing them? She thought she was just a fuckfriend for him.
"Really?" She asked, pure amazement in her voice, he nodded.
"Y/n, I really care about you" He said and she frowned in surprise before speaking. "I thought I was just..."
"Sex? I thought so too, but seeing you on the floor, all of that blood on your legs, the Dreamshade turning your hips and stomach black, your face as pale as the moon... It made me realize that I don't want to lose you, nor now neither never" His voice was gentle as it had never been before. Y/n was pleasurably surprised of that much sweetness, she didn't even know this version of Peter Pan existed, but she liked it.
"So, we're not fuckfriends anymore?" She teased him and he shook his head laughing.
"I'm still fucking you, babe; but we can see how it goes from now on and being open to eventual feelings" he said caressing her hair, she smiled and bit her lower lip, she couldn't been happier.
"I love the idea" She said while running her fingers between his neck and chest.
"Of me fucking you or the part about the feelings?" He asked joking and she pulled him toward her lips.
"Both" She said and grinned; before she could say anything else, he kissed her again.
#peter pan ouat#ouat#peter pan imagine#Peter pan x y/n#ouat imagine#ouat peter pan#peter pan x reader#Peter Pan x fem!reader
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So like you said, in the show they say flat out that Wei Wuxian didn't die, he was injured by the fall instead and the sacrificing curse used Mo Xuanyu's life force to heal him completely (even his scars other than the four slashes). Why do you think Nie Huaisang kept Wuxian in a coma for so long without trying to heal him?
Hum...
First off, highlighting this ask is about the S-H-O-W (that means *not* the novel)
So just to state it a little more clearly:: In Episode 42(?) when Wuxian unsheathes Suibian in the Jin treasure room, Jin Guangyao says he remembers an old scroll written by Wei Wuxian himself showing a spell in which “a severely injured person can be healed” by someone else’s sacrifice.
Making this change has a cascading effect on the story, since Wei Wuxian does not resurrect into a different body but back into his own (thank god, because we got to keep staring at Xiao Zhan an extra 19 episodes). In general what I think happened is that Huaisang was either instructed by Mingjue to stand in wait or that he just was watching from afar when the Battle of Nightless happened. If anyone understands the dangers of out-of-control resentful energy it is a Nie.
The writing was on the wall, they couldn’t stop Wei Wuxian’s death even if they wanted to. He was going to die sooner or later- by execution, suicide, his own magic destroying him, etc.
So the Nie- probably unknown to anyone else- were prepared to contain his soul and the resentful energy therein as they do their ancestors. No other sect deals with explosive resentful energy, it was always going to be on the Nie to handle that one (but not in a way the other sects know about because that would risk exposing the Saber Tombs).
Now, in the NOVEL- putting little clues together- it looks like Wei Wuxian was contained in a Spirit Trapping Pouch, like what Xiao Xingchen’s soul is contained in. He’s bound in some way- no one, not even Wangji, could reach him with any form of spirit inquiry.
So since his body wasn’t destroyed in the SHOW, context clues here say that Huaisang found Wuxian around the same time Jiang Cheng came down the side of the cliff to look for the body. Jiang Cheng has Chenqing at the showdown in Guanyin Temple- so he found the flute. Again, a Nie knows how dangerous resentment is, and they’re EXPERTS at containing spiritual weapons. That Huaisang took Wuxian but didn’t/couldn’t search thoroughly enough to find Chenqing suggests he was rushed.
Wei Wuxian was presumably on death’s door. He burned away the arrow wound to his heart, but I’ll dip to the novel to say that it clarifies that the Stygian Tiger Seal drains Wuxian’s spiritual power VERY quickly. Between that and just how long his attack on Nightless ran, the boy’s batteries were on empty and he probably couldn’t heal a granite belly-flop.
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So, Huaisang leaves with Wuxian’s body (probably with Mingjue’s knowledge because Huaisang couldn’t do this all on his own), then what happened? I straddle the line between two schools of thought on this one.
#1 :: Keeping him in a coma was the safest way to contain him
If Huaisang somehow froze Wei Wuxian so that his injuries neither healed nor bled out, it would be like entombing him in his own body. Generations of Nie went insane at the end of their lives and turned into violent rage monsters. Huaisang- and probably Mingjue because, again, you’d need the Clan Leader on board for this- wouldn’t look on Wuxian in the same light as the others because of Nightless. They don’t consider their father/grandfathers/etc. any less because of how their lives ended, they’d understand Wei Wuxian wasn’t the problem, the Yiling Patriarch was.
Wuxian was so lost and so powerful, he was going to be HARD to contain when he died. If that was possible at all. So while they looked for a solution or delayed the inevitable, it is safer to prevent Wei Wuxian’s death at all. If there is a way to freeze someone (that time stop spell Wuxian uses but on a long-term scale), they could pin him at his last breath to buy time.
Then Mingjue disappears, Huaisang keeps Wuxian sealed away, and eventually Mo Xuanyu brings up the sacrificing curse and Huaisang realizes that unleashing Wei Wuxian might be the way forward against Jin Guangyao.
******* Click HERE for my post arguing that Mo Xuanyu might be the original mastermind (Though “Fatal Journey” rendered some of it moot, the overall logic is still sound) *******
I also want to note just somewhere in this whole answer that Nie Huaisang seemed supremely confident that Wei Wuxian wasn’t going to go full Yiling Patriarch when he emerged, either because Wangji was nearby with baby Lan or he trusted that Wuxian wasn’t the monster he was painted to be. Either via a friend’s intuition (Huaisang never seemed to really fear him) or perhaps he had someone playing something like Cleansing over his body to make sure he was calming down. IDK, but the boy doesn’t seem worried in the least. He’s even right next door throughout the resurrection and Saber Spirit Attack, not worried about getting away from the crater in case Wuxian goes nuclear again.
OK, back to my answer---
#2 :: Sometimes they just don’t wake up
Xiao Xingchen had no will to live, even trapped in the soul pouch. Wei Wuxian was very much in the same state mentally.
Physically though, it might not have mattered WHAT his mental state was, he was simply too injured to ever regain consciousness on his own. Even if Huaisang tried from Day 1 to heal him, helped re-set bones and stitch his wounds closed, Wei Wuxian’s body was too shattered.
It is possible for someone to simply sustain too many injuries or suffer too great a trauma to wake up from a coma. It happens IRL too. People will even wake up after YEARS in a coma. So Huaisang might not have intentionally kept Wuxian out of it, he may simply have been unable to wake without massive healing work to re-set the body to where it was when it was first injured (like if Wuxian was brain dead).
I will say this theory has a flaw, IDK how fatal it is though:: Jin Ling isn’t dead yet, but Wangji still reaches his soul via Inquiry in the Saber Tombs. So if Huaisang healed Wuxian and just let him lay in a coma undisturbed for 16 years, Lan Wangji should have been able to reach him. I mean, even if it’s hard and the odds of success are terrible, he played Inquiry every single night for 16 years. Even a blind squirrel finds nuts sometimes (unless distance played a factor, or any other protections the Nie had up, which is why I say this may not be a fatal flaw).
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**I do want to make a note about the Sacrificing Curse as a healing tool that wipes out ALL of Wei Wuxian’s injuries. Watch the Doctor Who two-part episode set “The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances” (from Season 1 of the reboot). Sorry, but to make my point I need to spoil the big twist:: The “monster” wreaking havoc on London during the 1940s Blitz is actually a crashed medical ship with healing drones who find a dead child but aren’t programmed to human DNA, so they create terrifying creatures with gas-mask faces because that’s how they think humans are (they save the child, don’t worry).
At the end of the 2nd part, the Doctor reprograms them with human DNA so they burn themselves out healing the individual people and turning them back to normal. There is a line where a physician is approached by a patient who shockingly says her long-missing leg has even grown back.
It is wrong to say the Sacrificing Curse healing all of Wuxian’s injuries- even his scar- is “convenient” (as some people did on a previous post of mine). I think it’s like the drones in the Doctor Who episode- you tell them to heal, they’ll heal abso-fucking-lutely everything that is imperfect or incorrect. Think about it- Wei Wuxian even got a Golden Core out of the deal. The curse used whatever it needed from Mo Xuanyu to heal Wei Wuxian. No exceptions. If he had a PAPERCUT it would treat it as an imperfection no different from a crushed skull.
A powerful healing spell like that is powerful precisely because it works on a massive scale. Mo Xuanyu was dying to save Wei Wuxian, so he was going to get his money’s worth. Yeah, Wuxian’s burn scar disappears. IDK why that’s so hard for some people to process when they can easily accept that he’s no longer puddle-shaped.
TL;DR:: IDK, but I’ve put a ton of thought into it.
#ask#long answer#Anonymous#mine#nie huaisang#mo xuanyu#wei wuxian#i've actually put very very little thought into this#most of this was off-the-cuff#my brain fills in and spirals out while I type which is useful when I'm writing but not great when I'm trying to answer an ask#in less than 150;000 words
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Survey #452
“what i’ve felt, what i’ve known, never shined doing what i’ve shown / never free, never me, so i dub thee unforgiven”
Are you a part of the LGBTQ+ community? I am.
Do you have Tiktok? Are you addicted? I don't.
Do you enjoy being outside? IF it's cool outside, yes.
Do you like being around kids? No, not really.
Have you ever gotten Covid-19? No.
What's your ethnicity? Caucasian.
If you were president, what's the first change you would make? I'd probably put in place free healthcare first.
What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? If an animal shouldn't be a pet, there's a reason. So none.
What was your favorite meal as as kid? Has it changed now? It was spaghetti. I still love it, but it's not my favorite now.
Which doctor is your least favorite? Primary, eye, dentist, gynecologist, etc. Potential TMI answer follows. So, the VERY easy answer is gynecologist. Like, I've never even BEEN to one because I'm too scared. Not because I think they'll find anything wrong, but because I'm just very self-conscious about stuff like that and I do fucking not want some random stranger laying a goddamn finger on me like that. My doctor is really pushing me to go by now though as a safety precaution, but I just really, really don't want to.
Do you feel that you'd be any good at solving a murder? No. I'm so clueless.
You own a dragon, but it doesn't breathe fire; what comes out instead? Water, I guess? That could be beneficial in a lot of ways.
Have you ever been sprayed by a giant rain puddle when a car passed by? No.
Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? Yeah, IT with Girt.
What color is your iPod? Hot pink.
Do you think baby clothes are adorable? Ha ha yeah, I just tend to like miniature things in general, and babies are just... miniature humans lmao.
Whose house did you last sleep over at? Sara's.
If you could adopt 3 unique pets, what would you get? A plains hognose morph (probably a lavender, or snow?), a Brazilian black tarantula, andddd... an African fat-tailed gecko morph.
What grade are you in, if you’re still in school? I'm not in school.
Do you get a lot of tourists in the area where you live? Hell no, there's not shit here.
Do you enjoy watching vlogs? Only occasionally by certain people I like.
What was the last new video game you were excited about? It really sucks I don't have the appropriate console to play it myself, but I was SUPER stoked for Resident Evil 8: Village to be released and literally watched like four different playthroughs at the same time, ha ha.
Have you ever talked about your period with a guy? Were they okay with it, or grossed out? In a three-and-a-half years intimate relationship, it obviously came up before. He didn't care, because he wasn't 12.
Have you ever been to small church/bible group/study? Forced to or wanted to? I was forced to go to Sunday school, as well as church.
Have you ever been to an Asian (any type) market? If so, what is the closest one to you? I've never seen one here, even.
How would you feel if your significant other had tattoos? That'd be a bonus to how physically attracted I was to them, probably, lol. I just love tattoos.
Where was the last place on your body that you felt physical pain? My uterus is screaming. :')
What are you listening to right now? I am fucking unhealthily obsessed with Violet Orlandi & Skar's cover of "The Unforgiven" by Metallica lkasdjkflawjerwr like I will not stop listening to it lol.
Last person you texted? My mom.
Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy? Yes.
Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe? My mom.
Have you ever used a chainsaw? Nooo, and I don't want to.
Do you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa? crihmuh
Ever been so stunned, no words came out? Oh yes.
Ever written that you were going to end your life? I have. I was fucking stupid and made a suicide note on Facebook. I genuinely wanted everyone on there to know what they meant to me, so like it seriously wasn't for attention, which I still worry people think that.
Ever put fake bugs around your house to scare someone? Not to scare people, no. I have two faux tarantulas in my room as decor, though.
Is there a reason you have the name you do? Not particularly. My parents just liked it, ig.
Choose: the best song by Green Day? Aw, that's way too hard! I love Green Day. I guess if I absolutely had to pick, maybe "21 Guns." It's just a truly beautiful song.
Have you ever tried to “save”, or “fix” someone, before? No. I don't believe that works and only damages you.
Were ethics discovered or invented? That's a good question. I really can't say I know.
Do you put effort into getting tan during the summer? Nah.
Are you a fairly self-motivated person? NO. I need external motivation pretty badly.
Be honest, does the person you like actually deserve you? Or are they actually not worthy of your affections? I don't deserve him.
List 5 things that have been on your mind most recently. 1.) wtf I feel about Girt and wtf to do about it; 2.) my weight; 3.) what job I'm going to search for once I make progress at the gym; 4.) whether or not to quit photography and focus my efforts elsewhere; and 5.), as always, Jason.
What is better, history or science? Science is way more interesting.
Do you flinch at the sight of blood? No.
Do you enjoy swimming? Yeah.
When you swear, is it usually in general or directed at someone? In general. I don't generally swear at people.
Are any of your friends hoping to be famous one day? Yeah; I've got a couple of musician friends.
Who would you kiss right now if you could kiss anyone? GO AWAY
Ever slapped a guy in the face? No. I don't hit people.
Do you think you’re a good friend? I sure try to be.
Have you ever thrown your cell phone in anger? When? I have on only one occasion when I Jason and I were texting and he pissed me off. I don't remember what we were even talking about now. My phone was fine btw, ha ha, I didn't like, chuck it.
What color of hair do you find the sexiest on the opposite gender? Out of the natural hair colors, black. But I really like hair that's dyed exotic colors on like... anyone.
Have you slept over at a member of the opposite sex’s house in their bed? Yeah.
When you lost your virginity, were you sober? Yeah.
Have you ever given your phone number to somebody you met online? Quite a few people, actually. Most of my friendships are online.
On average, how much does gas cost where you live? When I was out today, it was $2.99.
Why are you happy? Who said I was? I'm not happy.
What is in your pocket? Nothing.
What was the worst feeling you last felt? Severe indecision. Worthlessness. Yesterday had some grim periods.
What would you name your future son? I always answer with the first name, "Damien," so let's see about a middle name... uhhhh... maybe Damien James? I'm not really sure about a middle name, but that sounds nice.
What are you waiting for? Girt to message me back. He barely touches Facebook, so I can't blame him, but I wanna plan a day for him to visit and we can hang and I can decide what the fuck it is I feel towards him.
What takes your breath away? Big waterfalls, to name a major one.
What fact of life would you rather not know about? That the world doesn't give a fuck about you. It sounds super pessimistic, I know, but it doesn't. There is no sentience to it, no will to keep you safe and happy, it just... exists, and we're thrown onto it to figure it out. Unfair things happen. That's life. ... Damn, this answer was dark lol.
What’re a few things that automatically make you go, “Awww?” Meerkat pups doing so much as blinking, guys being really cute with kids, seeing elderly couples holding hands and just generally being precious, proposals (especially gay ones just because of how hard that was fought for), seeing literally any picture in existence of Mark and Amy together, veterans coming home and their dogs freaking out... Man, a lot of things. This question brightened my mood to think about. :')
Are you easily scared by horror movies? Nah.
You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Illinois to visit Sara. :') I really wanna hang.
Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? No, but a former best friend had her bday a day before mine.
Are you wearing a ring? I always wear two.
Do you hate to hug people? No, I love hugs.
How many rooms does your house consist of? Seven.
If you could be on any TV show, which would it be and why? Can I be a Pokemon trainer, pls????
What would you want to be famous for? Most ideally, a great wildlife photographer. The kind photography students would see and be inspired by.
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No, I sleep with a real animal, ha ha.
What is your favorite brand of hairspray? I don’t have one.
What is in your backyard? Not very much... I'm barely ever even out there, so I barely know. There's one shed, a small tree, and uh... idk.
Who is/was your favorite teacher? I have a few. Mrs. Whitley, Mr. Proctor, Coach Collie, and Miss Tobey are some.
What’s your favorite non-sexual thing to do with a girl/boy? Play video games together.
Do you cheer for the bad guy? Ha, I have a tendency to do that...
Would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? Career. I want one so very badly.
Something on the human body that grossest you out the most: So even though I am sexually attracted to any gender, nevertheless, genitalia gross me the fuck out. Either kind. Penises especially though like what the fuck-
Do you think it’s easier to raise a boy a girl? Why? From most parents, I've heard boys are much easier because girls (supposedly) tend to have more of an attitude.
What is your favorite strawberry flavored food? Strawberry is generally my favorite flavor for like, everything, so this is just about impossible. Maybe uhhh slushies?
What is the oldest video game system you’ve played? An Atari.
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Mercy Me - Part One
Summary: Jacqueline Laymore can’t really tell when it started to hurt to call Spencer her friend. But that didn’t really matter after she got kidnapped. Right now all that matters is getting home and getting Spencer Reid.
Warnings: Angsty? Mentions of self harm, suicidal ideation, death, kidnapping, is catholic guilt a warning? culty vibes, mentions of torture, and a very small mention of rape and gouging one’s eyes out.
Word Count: 1.3k (its a babey for the first part)
A/N: this is one of my first fanfictions on tumblr and in this fandom, so idk be nice or like really mean, criticize me, i don’t really mind. i used to write aphmau fanfiction nothing really hurts at this point. also this is an original female character fic because i for real can not write fic in the y/n format and i’ve had this idea for a while. it took a lot of effort to post this without puking in anxiety first but i hope it goes well ig.
If Jacqueline was going to die right then and there, she would have frankly been pissed. Sitting in the bathtub with blood seeping out of shallow cuts on her thighs would not be a great way to go. It’s especially stupid because they weren’t even new. Jacqueline knew better than to cut in the tub.
Especially since she’d been clean before the incident.
She wondered if that was the time to back up and take a second to think. Think about her wrongdoings.
Of course, Gabriel doesn’t give her the release of death and instead shot himself in the neck. Her eyes, always the worst part of her body, follow the arterial spray as it stains the yellowing ceilings. She almost wants to take the revolver and shoot herself in the head, but that would contaminate the crime scene.
Jacqueline is smarter than that. But the revolver is so close to her. Yet just out of reach.
Everything seems to be just out of reach when you’re kidnapped.
But everything is moot compared to the digging feeling in her stomach telling her that the gun still has five more rounds.
She doesn’t. Of course, there is more to her life than being a martyr for another’s sins. That isn’t what Father Julien said when she was younger, but Father Julian also tried to gouge out her eyes in the town square.
Father Julian did a lot of things, talking about the grace of God wasn’t one of them. But what can you really expect from a man that creates a psychopath? Jacqueline dug the heels of her hands into her eyes, creating swirling patterns behind her eyelids. Phosphenes. She can hear him say it. Spencer always made sure to tell her the weirdest facts he could remember. She can’t remember most of them but sometimes his voice pops up in her head reminding her of them.
A lot of things pop up in Jacqueline’s head these days. She smoothed her hair back with the water on her hands and stepped awkwardly out of the tub. Taking two towels from the rack on the wall, she wrapped up her hair and body. Carefully stepping around Gabriel’s body and blood pool she enters the bedroom. For a cheap motel, it was quite clean. Frankly, it wouldn’t be half bad if the carpet wasn’t a brown color and she didn’t come with the guy who kidnapped her. She dug through Gabriel’s luggage until she found yet another, white cotton sundress. It wasn’t a bad dress, quite pretty in reality. It was the situation that made it the ugliest rag Jacqueline had ever seen. It fell to just below her knees and the bodice fit her waist perfectly, the spaghetti straps dug into her shoulders but it could have been much, much worse.
Jacqueline would have liked the dress in another life. However, Gabriel had a thing for the whole ‘white equals purity’ thing and tortured her in a dress similar to the one she was putting on.
She stopped putting the dress on. Blinking through the tears forming in her line of sight, Jacqueline searches for a shirt and a pair of pants that could maybe fit her. She found Gabriel’s taupe button-up and slipped it over her shoulders, buttoning the front up to the third button. After digging a little more she finds a pair of army green pants, a little too high waisted for such a masculine man but she puts them on. Luckily Gabriel also had a pair of hiking boots which Jacqueline took the shoelace out of and used it as a belt.
The sandals that she wore when out with Gabriel would have to do, though it looked a little silly. Jacqueline took her hair out of the towel and ruffled it up a little, she always hated leaving her thick, wavy hair without product in it but it’s better than brushing it. The bangs brushing against the bridge of her nose are going to make her cry though. She used to hate how she looked in bangs but now, with Gabriel’s praises ringing in her ears, she almost likes the way they frame her face.
Almost.
Jacqueline grabbed Gabriel’s wallet on the way out of their hotel room.
The secretary looked at Jacqueline funny as she checked out. Granted, it was well deserved, Jacqueline looked like a mess of men’s clothing. She also was leaving without Gabriel, which sounded a little unheard of considering he didn’t even let her speak when they checked in.
Jacqueline wanted to call the police so the maid didn’t get a nasty surprise. She didn’t have a phone on her but she walked to the payphone on the street corner and quickly called 911.
“Hi, Hello. Y-yes… I… I need to report a suicide at Maple Leaf Motel, room 3C. My… My p-partner shot himself in the neck!” She wailed into the phone before hanging up. She was always good at faking things. Right now, faking composure seems to be the only thing keeping her sane.
Time to catch a flight to Quantico, Virginia.
Or, more likely, hitchhike. If there was anything Jacqueline had learned in her nine years with the BAU is to not hitchhike. But she had about two hundred and fifty dollars and the clothes on her back. And if anything she could pay for some gas and maybe use the self-defense that Morgan taught her. She knew that from where she was it would be around twenty days by foot. A twenty-hour car ride. And maybe a five-hour flight depending on the airport. The closest 'big' town near Maple Leaf was Lexington.
And deep down, Jacqueline really wanted to take a road trip. Nebraska is quite a pretty state. Though walking would be a little excessive considering she's technically been off for two months already.
The fact that she’d been with Gabriel for two months sent shivers down Jacqueline’s spine. The bureau wouldn't take her vacation days away for being kidnapped but you never really know with the government, do you? She started walking to the library when she realized that she could email Strauss and talk about her job and how fast she can be reinstated. Luckily the library was a few blocks down the street.
"Hello, dear! What can I help you with today?" The elderly woman behind the help desk smiled. Jacqueline figured that they didn't get that many people inside the small library.
Jacqueline forced a smile and walked up to the desk, "Can I use one of the computers? I need to email my boss about my... vacation."
The librarian gives Jacqueline a sugary sweet smile. "May I, Deary," The librarian corrected.
"Right," Jacqueline drawls. The librarian walked her to a clunky old computer and logged on before shoving Jacqueline down into the seat. Jacqueline goes through google to find her email service and quickly write one to Strauss. Strauss responded quickly, a short email reading:
Dear Agent Laymore,
You're thought to be dead. I can not grant you the ability to step into your building for recertification and discussions of reinstating you until you prove otherwise.
Erin Strauss
Jacqueline responded:
Dear Erin,
You're supposed to be nicer to people who are held as a hostage. Anyways, I guess a way to prove my identity would be that I can sing 'On My Own' from Les Mis perfectly, I know you have heard me do it. And that your husband divorced you after he gave you half of his liver due to your liver cirrhosis. You told me this one night when I was crying over my brother killing himself and getting disowned. I am the only person on the current team (I assume, though I'm sure Rossi knows ;D) who has that information on you.
With love,
Dr. Jacqueline Laymore PsyD
Ps. Please don't give my job away because I made a joke.
Erin responded with a very annoyed emailing detailing what they will discuss once Jacqueline reaches Quantico. With a valid ID of course.
Now the hard part, finding someone who wasn't a serial killer to hitchhike with. For at least twenty-four hours. In a car.
Spencer's voice called out in the back of Jacqueline's head, reminding her that there is a 0.0000086% of being killed or raped while hitchhiking.
#spencer reid x oc#spencer reid x female original character#spencer reid x original character#spencer reid x ofc#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid#spencer reid angst#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds imagine#matthew gray gubler#matthew gray gubler x ofc#mgg#mgg angst#dr spencer reid#dr reid#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid imagines#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfic
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This is just gonna be a rant/train of thought/absolute mess cause idk what I’m doing but like yeah so as with all my personal posts if anyone sees this then please just ignore it lol sorry I’m so annoying but I just like typing things and then sending them into the void so y’know
Basically my mental health has been getting worse and worse for a while which isn’t surprising since it’s always bad but gets worse 1) when New Things are happening and 2) during winter and I just started uni this year and it’s fucking dark at 4pm now everyday. But yeah so I’ve been self-harming and having suicidal thoughts for six years now. I’ve attempted suicide once and planned/prepared to kill myself at least three times by now. It’s not great in my head honestly and it hasn’t been for many years.
I’ve tried to get help twice. The first time I was thirteen and told my parents/school/GP and... none of them did anything. They all just thought I was attention seeking and would stop on my own if they didn’t ‘indulge me’. I wasn’t diagnosed with anything or referred for therapy or meds or anything. They ignored it and surprise surprise it didn’t fucking stop. They just didn’t know about it anymore.
The second time I tried to get help I was seventeen and I referred myself to the school counsellor. They were a counsellor in training from the local college and quite frankly absolute shit. I felt worse and worse after each session and honestly felt relieved when the 6 sessions I was allotted were over.
Part of the issue is I have been struggling for so long that 1) I don’t know who I am if I’m not feeling Like This and 2) Ive had such bad experiences with trying to get help I can’t bring myself to try again. What’s got me thinking about all this again is the fact that the newest development in my shitty shitty mental health is an eating disorder. Now again, I’m not diagnosed with anything, but after months of consideration I can tentatively consider that eating 500 calories a day for months on end and feeling fat and sick after eating literally anything and refusing to drink any water for several consecutive days so I don’t gain ‘water weight’ may possibly be indicators of an eating disorder.
I still feel bad saying anything since I’m so terrified of self-diagnosing and being told I’m just attention seeking again which is why even after all this time it’s so damn hard to admit that I’m probably depressed. I can work with tangible things that I know for a fact such as that at this point I cut myself almost every day, and I can sleep for 12 hours a night and still feel exhausted in my bones, and that I hate my body so damn much that I have to shower with my eyes closed or end up clawing at my skin, and that I spend hours and hours obsessing over the thought of killing myself and planning how to do it and going as far as to stockpile pills so I could overdose, only being stopped by the fact that when I googled to see if I had enough to kill me I found out that it would’ve taken several days to actually end things so that ruled overdose out. And I live in a city so that ruled jumping off a bridge out since I’d definitely be caught. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Another part of the issue is The Trans™️Thing™️. Because yes a lot of my issues stem from my crippling dysphoria. And that’s not a thing I can change. My family is transphobic so I can’t come out. I can’t transition. I’m going to be stuck in this goddman fucking body til the day I die. And I can’t fucking cope with that. And I haven’t been coping with that for a very, very, very long time.
Therapy can’t help me. I already know the ins and outs of why I feel so shit all the time. No amount of bloody alternative thinking can change things. Which only leaves medication which my parents have expressely forbidden me to take. Any medication. Literally. Any. Yes including birth control. No they are not religious, just fucking crazy and think that any issue I have (including any colds/flu/normal illness) are just me exaggerating and will get better by themselves (reason why I had a veruca for four years even though they are very easily treatable).
And yes I’m nineteen now and don’t need parental permission for my health care but they also search through all my stuff in my room whenever I’m not there and I can’t just,, not take meds home during uni breaks since that would probably fuck me up even more. But also yeah I’m a nineteen year old guy not a thirteen year old girl anymore. Honestly I feel embarrassed that it’s gone on this long. All my high school friends got better, so why can’t I?
But yeah so why should I stay alive? What’s the fucking point? My issues are going to be with my til the day I fucking die whether that’s by my own hand or something else. This isn’t a short term issue that can be fixed this is it for me. This is my lot in life and I’m absolutely fucking sick of it. So why can’t I just die?
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yuletide letter 2020
Dear Yuletide Writer,
Oh, hello again. I didn’t see you there.
This year, I have transcended earthly desires and struggled to find any fandoms to request. I want nothing. I wish my cat was nominated as a Yuletide fandom so we could all write stories about her life.
Nonetheless, I have some small requests!!!! I believe you can make me happy in ways I’ve never been happy before. I trust you. Happy end of 2020, the cursed year, I hope you are blessed with rest.
My AO3: saezutte
My public twitter: juncassis
My tumblr: here but I do not use tumblr much anymore, sorry.
Do Not Wants
[note: I have no actual triggers, nothing you can write for me will make me any more depressed or anxious than I already am]
Death (of major/important/beloved characters)
Suicide attempts, self-harm
Rape (outright; OK with dub con, manipulation, noncon short of violent-rape-for-violence-only)
Eating disorders, body shaming
Angst without a happy ending, really too much angst at all
Established relationship
Cheating
Actual Unrequited Feelings
Pregnancy (the actual process; breeding kink is fine)
Scat or watersports
Hard BDSM or any kink complicated enough that the characters would have to discuss it ahead of time
Homophobia as a plot device
Excessive attention to identity or politics, sometimes known as “issue fic”
Note on AUs: I am ok with the usual popular AU tropes but I do not want them combined, e.g. A/B/O is fine and coffeeshop is fine, but I don’t want an omega barista getting his scent all over the lattes he makes for some alpha lawyer who comes in every morning. (Ridiculous example, but you get the point.) For AU/modern settings of fandoms with magic, I often like it when the magic is still there in the AU setting. I also like AUs which maintain the general outlines of the character’s relationships, like if the characters are childhood friends in canon, I like to keep that intact.
General preferences:
I am a pretty basic bitch when it comes to fanfic: I like it when two clueless boys pine for each other through some shenanigans and then lock eyes/lips/dicks.
If you fed a neural net every fanfic written in Stargate Atlantis fandom between 2005 and 2010, the result would probably be some nonsense I’d enjoy.
I love many tropes. Tropes! Bed-sharing. Sharing an umbrella. WASHING EACH OTHER’S HAIR? Confessions where they are having an argument and then one of them yells “Because I love you!”
I love situations where characters are forced to spend time in close proximity and find themselves with feelings.
I love fakeness: fake dating, fake marriage, arranged marriage, marriage of convenience, fake lust induced by sex pollen or heats, aliens make them have sex, whatever.
I love porn, if you want to just write me some quick porn, that’s great. I do prefer (per the established relationship DNW above) that it be first time or get together porn. I know that can make it hard to just write porn, but I don’t need much to be convinced of sex.
Nirvana in Fire (TV)
Requested characters: Mei Changsu, Xiao Jingyan
Note: I also love Lin Chen so if you want to write some MCS/LC or LC/Fei Liu or LC/MCS/JINGYAN OT3??? go for it. I am also a Nihuang/Xia Dong shipper so if you want to put that in… somehow… my gay little heart would be happy. I also like Nihuang/MCS/XJY or MNH/MCS + MCS/XJY but I’d like the focus on the men in that case!
I watched this show because someone recommended this show to me as, like, Chinese Game of Thrones but good. I think it’s genuinely one of the best TV shows I’ve ever seen. I love plots and revenge and good people doing bad things for justice. Even the ending is good for me though obviously it left me unsatisfied on several points.
I am deeply into sickly doomed genius MCS and every time he got even more deeply ill, I fell deeper in love. Every time he coughs up blood, my heart would race. I love his terrible schemes and stupid self-sacrificing choices. I find watching this show very soothing because I knew he would always come out on top in his schemes. I trust him. I love handsome clueless Jingyan and how he’s just so good (it’s terrible.) I love his mom and how much he cares for her. I love him but he is useless, he needs his Xiao Shu and I need fanfic to restore him to him.
Note: So my limited research on this says that male/male sex practices were accepted and well-known in this time period in history, so I really don’t want them thinking “oh no what are these weird gay feelings.” There are other barriers to them being together, like a ruler or official being overly attached to one person was considered very bad. I am also a big supporter of the socially-approved polygamy of this time period, so I don’t need Jingyan to refuse to sleep with his wife or something out of loyalty to MCS—he has to do it! Or all their plans are ruined! And he can enjoy spending time with her or the concubines without affecting his feelings for MCS—you could explore that complexity in fic if you like.Prompts:
Mei Changsu isn’t dead, he’s hiding again, Jingyan searches for him
They start having sex during the series, the ending is averted [somehow]
Post-canon, MCS is alive and Jingyan hides him in the palace with his consort/concubines to keep him on as an advisor without anyone objecting
omega verse where MCS was an alpha before he “died" but an omega after he came back.
AU where male/male marriage is customary (maybe aristocratic men are expected to have one male and one female consort?) and so MCS decides the best way to influence and help Jingyan in the capital is by becoming his wife or one of his concubines
anything just get them together and happy.
Tokyo Babylon
Characters: Subaru, Seishiro
I read Tokyo Babylon as a child and I imprinted on it deeply, now I love politics, ghosts, stalking, age differences, magic. Within the CLAMP canon, I love TB for its episodic focus on smaller stories, the commentary on contemporary society, and Seishiro being an outright creep. I love onmyojutsu and exorcism and Subaru’s innocence getting ruined. I love the city of Tokyo (where I currently live! but do not be intimidated, I don’t know the city well because we’ve been in quarantine most of the time I’ve been here and won’t judge you for details.) I’m open to fics that comply with X canon or not.
With Seishiro/Subaru: It’s bad but I love that predator/prey dynamic where the predator ends up being hopelessly entranced/obsessed/in love with the prey. My read was always that Seishiro lost the bet and couldn’t admit it—he’s just, you know, killing twins to avoid dealing with his feelings! Relatable! (?!?!) Subaru, I love particularly in his evolution from innocent to adult in love to betrayed. I’d prefer post-TB fic to during-TB fic (so Subaru knows Seishiro’s deal and loves him anyway.) I am also a fan of Hokuto and you should feel free to bring her back to life to troll if you desire.
Prompts:
AU or reincarnation plot where they are Heian period rival onmyoji
Because this is such a heavily place-based series, if you are a writer who likes to play with details of real life locations, I’d be interested in versions of different “Babylons” if you have an idea for it.
Tragic first times post-TB lol
Seishiro is a virgin the first time they have sex
I’d probably love some fucked up dub con for this, however you want to play it
Honestly, do whatever you want as long as you don’t fuck me over like CLAMP did.
プリティーリズム | Pretty Rhythm
Characters: Hiro, Koji
Pretty Rhythm came to me at a weird time in my life. I lived in a house of spiders in Yokohama and did nothing for eight weeks. King of Prism cheer screening transformed my life and I didn’t even know what it was. Then I got weirdly deep into Rainbow Live and the Pretty Rhythm franchise overall. I am a scientist of prism theory. Idk why I like it, it’s just wholesome and crazy and there are penguins and DJ Koo. I love every TRF song because I’m a 90s gay at heart. It’s truly the end point of all media development. The prism world represents the fearsome power of virtual/digital+real hybrid life. Yes, I know I’ve lost my mind. I went to one of the real Prism Stone stores, the one in Harajuku.
Hiro Hayami: one time a fujoshi asked me to describe what types of anime boys I like and the first type I listed was “prince but bad” and my example was Hiro. Hiro is the crazy gay stalker disaster of my heart. He overcomes great hardship to achieve his dreams and foolishly falls in love along the way and he does everything wrong and Koji keeps leaving him. The moment when Hiro is crowned King of Prism in Pride the Hero was one of the top ten moments of my life. I made friends who don’t even know Japanese watch the movie unsubtitled with me on my birthday.
With Koji, I’m a bit guilty of “I want to give the character I love the most the character he loves the most” so I do like him less (it would be impossible to like him equal to how much I love Hiro). But he has many good points that make him perfect, like how he also sucks underneath his chill exterior. I love to see him go apeshit.
I also love everyone else in Rainbow Live, no exceptions. I love all the girls. If you do write the girls, I would prefer they not be paired with the OTR boys. I would prefer they be paired with each other, any combo is good.
Prompts:
this is the sort of pairing where I love fic where they split up and then 15 years later meet again as washed up has-beens but there’s still time for them to find each other
Canon-compliant companion piece showing the “background” of them getting together romantically over the course of the series.
AU where Koji is a prism world fairy sent to inspire Hiro but Hiro is kind of a mess
dirty, dirty porn… let Hiro get fucked
I have a lot of doujinshi with multiple copies of Hiro (a la the Mugen Hug jump) but I’d like something where Hiro gets overwhelmed by many Kojis
They start fake dating as a publicity stunt and have to keep doing it… especially good if it starts when Koji is at max hating Hiro level
Ring Fit Adventure
Characters: Dragaux, Ring
Keeping this one simple: I like to be encouraged to exercise by a storyline and a trainer that never mentions weight loss, lol. The world is fun and pretty and I love that buff dragon.
AND THEN THE PAIRING. I’m sure Nintendo has some market research that told them a certain subset of users are very motivated by enemies who seemed to once be lovers or best friends. I am that user.
What is up with these two? They were so in love! Now Dragaux is a horrible swole bro (not in a good bro way) and Ring is training me instead? I can’t compete with their love. It’s the only time the game makes me feel inadequate.
You can keep Dragaux and Ring as dragon/ring-like as you like. Obviously I’m down with dragon fucking but you can also make him a human fucker too. I play with Ring on the masculine voice setting for maximum BL vibes as I exercise, but, you know, it’s a ring, I don’t think it has gender. Feel free to incorporate the player or other random characters too.
Prompts:
AU where Dragaux and Ring owned a gym together and Dragaux sold out to a big chain of gyms
What happened between them when Dragaux was still captured, pre-game? Bondage… literally??
Ring is always bossing me to train, but I’m really doing all the work. Why doesn’t he fight Dragaux on his own for once?? (because the sexual tension is too powerful.)
Tragic flashback to their dramatic break-up ending with their present day reconciliation.
Player/Dragaux/Ring threesome??? I’ve unlocked the sexercises???
With all fandoms, you are free to disregard the prompts and do your own thing. If you’re not sure about me, you can probably dm seriesera on twitter, she knows what I’m into.
Well, I suppose that’s all for now. Please stalk me online to get more details on my bullshit. I hope you have a nice time.
Best,
Caitlin
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I would ask you 1-100 but that's a huge request and doubt you'll do it, UNLESS🤔🙃
UNLESS....
1. Name- Deanna or as everyone knows me, Star
2. Nationality- American
3. Age- 19
4. Birthday- April 5th
5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign)- Aries
6. Gender- Female
7. Sexuality- Bi/Pan (im fine with either)
8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)- Dark brown hair, greenish eyes and body of a 12 year old boy
9. What do you/did you study?- Animation
10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have?- I work in an ice cream shop just as a job but i wanna be an animator or writer for shows
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11. Your birth order- Youngest of 2
12. How many siblings do you have?- One
13. Do you have good relations with your family?- for the most part
14. How many friends do you have?- I would say I have about 8 close friends and then just a ton of other friends
15. Your relationship status- single but accepting applications
16. What do you look for in a SO?- usually a pulse and good hair
17. Do you have a crush?- kinda but also no
18. When did you have your first kiss?- haven't yet :(
19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?- prob meaningful
20. What are your deal breakers?- smoking and drugs and how they treat others
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21. How was your day?- well i just woke up so i guess good.
22. Favourite food & drink- Raspberry iced tea/Vanilla Lattes and Chowmein or burgers
23. What position do you sleep in?- either on my side or stomach. Im usually curled up in a ball so prime cuddle position...just saying
24. What was your last dream about?- I think it was about cake..
25. Your fears- bugs and the overwhelming thought of me being a failure
26. Your dreams- being someone where others can be inspired by
27. Your goals- to live a life with no regrets (i know typical right?) but also have a successful career.
28. Any pets?- 2 doggos
29. What are your hobbies?- drawing, painting, writing, video games, reading
30. Any cool places in your area?- kinda but you gotta drive to them so not really
31. What was your last awkward situation?- me stuttering over my words at work
32. What is your last regret?- idk
33. Language/s you can speak- English and barely any French
34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)- hell yeah
35. Have any quirks?- i can make a guinea pig noise and can stand on my head for a while.
36. Your pet peeves- having my neck being touched and mouth breathing
37. Ideal vacation- Any disney park
38. Any scars?- only mentally
39. What does your last text message say? “Shes being a big girl and taking 5 classes.”
40. Last 5 things from your search history- im to lazy to check but prob youtube or fics
41. What’s your [device] background?- Phone background is a painting from a museum and my computer is a bunch of Nintendo items
42. What do you daydream about?- being a voice actor or a pirate
43. Describe your dream home- one that looks like a castle
44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion- I was raised Catholic but i really dont practice it anymore. I think it its a beautiful thing and alot of good comes from it, however i dont like it when it is used to harm others or defend evil people
45. Your personality type- So i took a test based on the 16 different ones and I am an Advocate type which apparetnly is very rare and less than one percent of the pop are it. https://www.16personalities.com/ heres the link if you wanna take it!
46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done- I used to suck on batteries as a child
47. Are you happy with your current life?- for the most part
48. Some things you’ve tried in your life- Snorkeling in Hawaii (which i almost died), Crystal Cave tour and donuts which i hate
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49. What does your wardrobe consist of?- hoodies and graphic tees
50. Favourite colour to wear?- black
51. How would you describe your style?- comfortable and sometimes i look good
52. Are you happy with your current looks?- ye
53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?- I want blue hair one day
54. Any tattoos or piercings?- have my ears and now my nose pierced but i do want tattoos in the future
55. Do you get complimented often?- usually for my hair and i find it happens often
56. Favourite aesthetic?- Gothic and pastel
57. A popular trend that you dislike- crop tops
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58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with?- “Good Night Moon” by Go Radio
59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like.- My Little Pony and Sofia the First songs slap
60. Favourite genre?- pop punk or pop
61. Favourite artist/band/genre? -Panic!, Taylor Swift
62. Hated popular songs/artists?- I wouldn’t say hate but im not really a fan of Billie Ellish, maybe i need to sit down and really listen but its just not my jam. I think shes a cool person and i love watching her on tv and what she stands for. By i hate Drake and Chris Brown for sure.
63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5- Head above Water, Happy when im sad, Love bug, Casual affair, I believe. So Avril Lavigne, Jonas Brothers and Panic!
64. Can you sing or play any instruments?- Im not the worst singer but im also not fantastic and i can’t play
65. Do you like karaoke?- sometimes
66. Own any albums?- like cds then yes
67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?- not anymore
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68. Favourite movie/series?- Any disney or pixar
69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc- YA like adventure books
70. Your fictional crush/es- oh here we go. Juvia and Gray (Fairytail), Catwoman, Danny Phantom, Captain Hook and Regina Mills and Henry (Ouat), Steve (stranger things), Riddler (gotham) and Molly Hooper (Sherlock) and prob more.
71. Which fictional character is you?- prob a mixture of Momo and Deku from My Hero and Honey from Ouran
72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so. Am I a shipper? ha. aight Gruvia, Nalu, Gajevy, Jerza, Kiribaku, Kacchacko, Todomomo, tododeku, LadyNoir and the love square, Captain Swan, Outlaw Queen, The powerpuff girls and the rowdyruff boys (respected partners) and like five thousand others
73. Favourite greek god?- Hades and Persephone
74. A legend from where you live that you like- literally nothing from where i live
75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist?- love art and i cant just pick one
76. Can you share your other social media?- i mean you can follow me on twitter at StarsnShortcake but all thats there is my shitty tweets and interactions with my friends and Voice actors lol
77. Favourite youtubers?- Mikes Mic, Macdoesit, Twamiz, Larri, Dan Howell, Amazing Phil, Jenna Marbles, Shane Dawson, Steph Inc, Garret Watts, and like a ton more
78. Favourite platform?- Tumblr or twitter
79. How much time do you spend on the internet?- too much
80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite?- I love anything Nintendo
81. Your favourite books (manga also counts)- Kingdom Keepers, Suicide Notes and the Selection Series to name a few
82. Do you play board/card games?- Yes
83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?- nope
84. Favourite holiday- thanksgiving for the food
85. Are you into dramas?- ye
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86. Would you use death note, if you had one?- haha ye
87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?- no racism, sexism, homophobia and legal marriage everywhere. Also that no one goes hungry and everyone has a nice place to live.
88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?- probably
89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?- a hot demon
90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?- I turn into a goddess
91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?- ooo Celeste is a cool name
92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?- hmmm Tara Strong
93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo- either the stars or the black heart or the fireworks
94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true- Ive never eaten a chicken nugget, I can do the splits and I have cat
-
95. Cold or hot?- hot
96. Be a hero or be a villain?- oooooo um im a sucker for villains
97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?- Rhyme
98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?- Shape shifting, i could be a plant
99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?- bold of you to assume i would wanna live forever
100. ….. or …..?- :0
--
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ANON CAUSE IT TOOK FOREVER.
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Lost & Found Batch #20
Can’t start up the blog again without posting the newest batch! As always, if you happen to know the fic the ask is looking for, reply to this post or send us an ask with the request number and title/author. If you happen to know any fics from Past Batches, those are more than welcome as well. Thank you!! ~ Admin P
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1) Hi! I’m looking for a fic I read quite a while ago and if you can help me i’ll be forever grateful... it was about namjoon having powers and accidentally causing damage, so seokjin (who was a kind of a social worker assigned to him) sent him to live with yoongi as a way to make up for his “crime”. Yoongi was also magical and lived isolated from society. If I remember correctly hoseok was also guilty of something and sent to yoongi with namjoon. Sorry if it’s too vague, but that’s all I remember
2) Hi, I decided to give this a try though I think the fic may have been deleted because I just can't find the fic anymore. Basically its ot7 and the main character (Jungkook?) took the boys to meet his mom. The author had the boys super athletic, tall and in college;they were also from Texas. Jungkook sadly had to deal with homophobic classmates. It was a one shot I believe.
Hey, Momma by CaridwenAngetueur1
3) hi!! i’m trying to find a yoonmin fic i read a while ago, where yoongi lived in this small town and had an apothecary and jimin would come and sing in the town centre, and yoongi would give him something for his nerves before he’d go on stage. i remember jimin would glow and light would shoot out from him when he sung. it was a completed fic on ao3, i can’t seem to find it. thank you so much for your help!!
4) Hello! If you don’t mind helping me, im looking for a jikook fic i can’t seem to find again on ao3. Its a time travel, canon au where present day bts where in japan and Jungkook had went through a shrine? He ends up in the past with younger!bts and acts as like a cousin to Jungkook until they can figure out how to send him back. I remember there being a scene where younger!bts miss their flight to help older!jungkook get back to the future? If you need more details please let me know. Thank you!
5) Hello! I'm looking for a vmin fic where flowers literally grow on Tae and he's really insecure about it and gets depressed. It's super soft and fluffy and the entire thing is pretty much just Jimin taking care and comforting him. I'm pretty sure it's a one-shot and that they are the only two that are explicitly brought up. I love it so much and I hope that this isn't too vague.
6) hi idk if any of u can help me find this fic but imma try: its an au in which kids go disappearing often and i can only remember that one day taehyung is one of them and jungkook takes it up on himself to find him bc he firmly believes that he isnt dead yet. not sure bout this but i also think tae got kidnapped to get tested on? and seokjin is one of the doctors in that institution??? this fic is written by a fanboy as far as i can recall and had a reallyyyyyy hard to remember title sigh 😔
kotov syndrome by wormkun
Note: The fic is locked and requires an AO3 account to view
7) Hey so I read this fic a while ago but no matter what i search, i can't seem to find it. Namjoon was a depressed ?college student? and he wrote songs that he only showed to his friend Jimin. He and Jimin go to a coffee shop where Yoongi works and yoongi keeps leaving notes to RM on Joon's coffee cups, but namjoon doesnt' know who RM is. I think it turns out Jimin had been posting Joons songs and yoongi recognized his voice and wanted to encourage him. NJ writes always and almost attempts suicide
8) Hello, I was wondering if you could help find this fanfic I've looking for forever. It's an ot7 relationship fic ( I think it's jimin centric). it was still not completed. The summary was something like taehyung asking jimin if he wanted to be in a relationship with them and jimin saying No. Because technically he already knew they were all in a relationship and he felt betrayed that he was left out for so long. There is something about a creepy sasaeng fan too. I would really appreciate it.
Last to Know by Meadow_Wanderer
9) Hi! Im looking for an au fic where Jungkook was depressed, and was with V who had anger problems bc of past child abuse. Jhope didn’t like Jungkook bc of something about his dark past involving his sister who I think was raped and died. I also remembered RM having a tattoo and being an ex member of a mafia group. He blew a gas station up, and Jin thought he died but he came back, and they had sex on the window. JK attempted suicide as well but Jin saved him. Thanks!!
10) I'm searching for a vminhope fanfic. It was I believe an A/B/O one. It was on aff. Hoseok was a berserker, Jimin was a beta and Tae was an omega.
11) Hi!!!!! I've been looking for this one fic forever. It's about jungkook who's an art student and jimin and taehyung are cops who look out for him. Jungkook talks a lot about suicide and he's a university art student. I think one of the art projects in the fic was a corpse painting with flowers. Jungkook also stole from a convenience store and when jimin and Rae caught up to him they noted he had a red beanie in his pocket. Thats all. Thank you!!!
12) There was this fic where Jungkook was lonely and lived alone in a hut on the woods, and he saw Jimin in a club took him to that hut and Jimin tried to run away but Injured his leg and had to stay. It's wip, and now i can't find it :( help please?
13) i'm having trouble finding a fanfic about taekook, where jungkook finds taehyung in a lake (or any body of water), and it turns out that he's from past times. he shows taehyung around present day, and taehyung at one point dresses up as a cowboy. jungkook gives taehyung's peepee the big succ, they get caught by the police, but they run away. from my memory, that's where it ends, or there may be more to it. even tags from ao3 to jog my memory will help.
14) I read this Taejin fanfic a while ago and now I can’t find it, all I know about it is that Taehyung was in some way abused and Jin brought him to his home, also that Jin had a twin brother, also it had many chapters, if you can find it I’ll be very grateful!!!
15) Hi! I read a yoomin fic in ao3 when I was new in the Fandom and I can't find it anywhere, I remember it being angst, mostly Yoongi's pov, it was set in the I need you era and Yoongi played the piano for jungkook's dance, I also remember Jimin struggled with eating disorders and alcoholism and that at some point they had a big fight when jimin came home drunk in a random cab d
16) Hi! I can't find a fic I read few years ago, so I was wondering if you could help)) It was Taehyung/Namjoon fic, and Namjoon hired him as his fake ex-boyfriend so that his friends (Hoseok and Jimin if I remember correctly) would stop asking him to go on dates or smth like that.
if it bleeds by wertstoffhof (roachprince)
17) Hello! I’m hoping you can help me find a fic, it’s a mental hospital one where all the members apart from jin and namjoon are in the mental hospital and another member (maybe jungkook) arrives and it turns out jin is making up their diagnosis because he thought they’d want to stay longer. If that’s too brief i can remember specific bits but i couldn’t find anything on your tags, thank you! Jin is a sort of like a therapist who looks after them and namjoon is like the manager of sorts i think
Seeking Heaven by fullofsuga
18) Hello, hope you're well! I was wondering if you could help me find a Jihope fic that I've been looking for forever! Jimin was friends with Taehyung and didn't know the rest of the boys until he was added into a group chat. I remember that Jimin worked in a shop that was broken in to, and that Taehyung didn't want Jimin and Hoseok to date? I think the chapter titles were all days of the week as well - thank you!!
19) Hey do you know the name of this historic au fic where Yoongi is a chaebol and I think he buys Jungkook from his abusive dad to be his servant? I remember he teaches him how to read and even gives up his money just to be with jungkook and becomes an author
tear the moon from the stars tonight by euphoriae
20) Hi! I'm looking for a YoonMin fanfic that's a pretend/fake dating au, where Jimin was at the grocery shop and his ex suddenly came up and started teasing/mocking him? Then Yoongi suddenly came up behind him and started pretending to be his bf? Thank you so much and I'm so sorry for the bother!
21) Hey! I've been looking for this fic forever (i've tried every tag on ao3, god help me). It's a v/yoongi fic where tae is really into public sex and yoongi too, but yoongi is shy at first. there's a scene at the beginning where yoongi is on a date with a girl and he goes to the bathroom to masturbate. at the middle they both are in a restaurant with 2 other people (from bts, i can't remember which members) and tae touches him. at the end tae masturbates yoongi in a restaurant/karaoke booth?
Hands-On Learning by pornographicpenguin
22) Hi! Looking for this multi chaptered abo fic where Yoongi is a omega and kookie presents as an alpha during practice and triggers yoongi's heat. Later on jin and joon become mates but it's mainly about yoonkook slowly getting together... Idk if that's helpful but it's driving me crazy because I can't find it
23) Hi, I'm looking for an old jin/yoongi fic that had a magical element in it I read a while ago and need a little help. Yoongi is an underground rapper and he always passes by this shop. One night after a gig he actually stops in front of it and goes in. Jin runs it and gives him a drink. (I think its tea but idk) he also gives him a muffin or cupcake. At the end jin tells yoongi he was looking for love and that's what led yoongi into the shop.
24) Hi! I’m looking for a fic I read a year back. It has Jin as an assassin and he saved the maknae line from abuse and stuffs and they fell in love with him. And he also has a relationship with Suga
25) Weird fic I read but I want to see if more came out. Anyway it's super weird, bts is the a werewolf gang and they go to a party for the higher ranking alphas. There they meet an omega of a high ranking alpha and then more stuff happens that I can't remember. I just thought of it randomly and I wanted to see if you could find it. It's okay of you can't I appreciate the help either way.
26) Ok color me corrected if you manage to find this fic, but I can’t seem to remember anything about it. It’s a red string of fate/soulmate au but I CANNOT remember the pairing. I think it was canon divergent, they lived in the dorm together. I remember that the string was actually tangible and the pair would always trip over it. Thanks haha
27) I am looking for a fic I read ages ago. It was jikook, they were in high school. Jk is really rich and loves taking photos one day he sees jm and is compelled to take a photo of his bright orange hair. Tae sees the photo and hires jk so take photos of jimin as he never sees him smile. Jm is very poor, he is freinds with joon and tae I think. Jin is jks brother. Jm initially gets mad at jk but eventually they become friends and fall in love. There was some past stuff with taegi too I think.
Imperfectly Perfect by whenIseeUsmile
28) Hi. I'm looking for a fic on ao3. It's a historical royalty au and I think it's yoonmin. I think it's incomplete too. Yoongi is a prince and his brother is JK. Jimin and Jin are spys from a neighbouring kingdom that's on the verge of war. The last chapter I remember has the castle being invaded and the royal family being killed, there may have been a fire. I hope you can help
Death In Disguise by pikachoi
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Mmmmmkay I have to rant about Nier: Automata for a bit; I accidentally triggered the end of the game (playthrough 2, ending B) last night and stayed up till 2:00 trying to finish the stupid “not allowed to save” phase. But y’aLL IT’S SO GOOD??????? AND 3RD PLAYTHROUGH ISN’T ANOTHER RE-RUN OF THE SAME STORY WE GET MORE STORY AAAAAAAAA
(more under the cut because there is ALOT for those who care;;;;;)
- OK SO THE MUSIC IS AMAZING??? I love LOVE that the music dynamics build in instruments and intensity as you progress towards danger/plot, but also softens again for quieter moments and just...musical storytelling is so sooooo my jam I love it. Also that the music goes 8 bit when 9S hacks stuff, it’s actually kinda cute X’D
- ON THE SUBJECT of 9S being able to hack into enemies and you getting to play that as a little teeny ship shooting down viruses and barriers and whatnot. Genius???? That added SO MUCG to the story on the second playthrough as 9S. Particularly discovering the fact that all of humanity?? Is actually extinct?? ...even BEFORE the aliens/machines attacked earth?? WH A T?????? WHAT THE HECK ARE ANDROIDS FIGHTING FOR THEN????? *every time an android salutes and says “glory to mankind” now* GLORY MY FOOT THEY ALL DEAD MOVE ON--
- I realize it probably has alot to do with the lore of previous nier games and I’ll probably have to trawl through Wiki pages soon here. Emil himself really broke my heart aaaaaah baby...his side quest is so sad. I also looked at arts and he was a really cute kid?? Before he was turned int the freaky moon skeleton thing...?? Oh my goodness......
- The secret lunar tear flower room is gorgeous. I just sat there for awhile to soak it all in...the music is so nostalgic and I’ve never heard that song bfore how do y’all DO THAT--
- Emil’s shop is pretty cute. He just drives around the ruins and sells stuff if you shoot him and he’ll stop X’’’D It did ruin alot of serious moments tho. *Engels, talking about how he’d sinned for killing so many androids and choosing death--* “S-A-L-E SAAAALLLEEE~~!! EVERY SALE’S A WIIIINNNNNN~~~~!!!! LALALaaaaaa~~~...” Me: *facepalm*
- ...I just realized the little tune he sings is a cheerful rendition of the music in the flower room. H E C K
- ANYWAY. Onto the actual game. I really really enjoyed playing as 9S for obvious reasons (bABY) but it really did add so soooo much to the pretty much surface level story when you first play as 2B. Which sums them up pretty well...2B, Battle unit 2, pushes on relentlessly, avoids thinking too hard about things and what she’s doing because oh dear, EMOTION might get in the way...9S, Scanner unit 9, on the other hand, cannot stop his curiosity. He asks questions, he sticks his nose in way further than he should to some dangerous stuff. I think he realized Machines were sentient and had feelings long before 2B, but was in denial for a good while. You learn so much more about what you’re fighting as 9S, because he scans. He observes, searches, discovers. Heck, some hacking caused him to experience empathy for the poor things, to his horror...
- Actually, there are alot of scenes where either 2B or 9S questions why a machine they’re killing is screaming for help, of crying for lost family, or loudly proclaiming loyalty to a king they’ll give their lives for...they stop for a moment, but the other quickly jumps in and reminds them that it’s just imitation. It’s not real, it’s fake, machines can’t feel, yadda yadda...it was odd to me they kept switching off on reminding, but...I think they both know, deep down, what they’re doing. But denial. Because if machines DO have feelings, if they are sentient...what does that mean for all they’ve killed...? Just...hoo BOY the moral dellimas in this game?? Scary good. The quests get that across alot.
- I don’t like the theme of hopelessness in most of the side quests?? I do see many of them as cautionary tales though. We watch many characters lose hope and the will to live after their thing/person they’re living FOR is gone. It makes me worry alot about 2B, who is a soldier through and through. 9S actually does have hopes and dreams for things outside of the war, which I love ;7; they definitely lean on each other alot emotionally on this respect though...I don’t know quite what to make of the themes of the game this far in yet;;;;
- The love between 9S and 2B is of course my favorite thing. Familial, romantic, idk. I, being me, see it as more platonic, “You’re my rock in this storm” only friend/sister/brother vibe, but as more of a fan of platonic relationships, that is what I tend to do. But 9s following 2B around like a lost puppy and trying to do all he can to help and do his job but also getting bored with said job and trying to make the most of things, asking all the “why” questions, 2B acting irritated but also always keeps him close and makes sure he’s safe....going ballistic when someone hurts her boy ;;v;; I love...2 kids. Their operators and pods are such fun dynamics too~~
- As far as endings A and B...DANG. It hit worse because you get backstory on the giant ocean machine (that 9S just hit with a giant missle, which he also had to ride to keep it on the right path...DX NO SELF PRESERVATION) he just...wanted his mama......;;A;;
- Also it’s not fair. 9S is so injured by that missle attack, then I guess Adam finds him and is like “HM. *sticks the lil boy impaled on a wall* Perfect. *proceeds to emotionally and mentally torture said child*“ like YO ADAM THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DO THINGS. Then 2B proceeds to kick down walls for her boy and kills Adam and walks off carrying 9S bridal style into the sunset. Lovely. I have a comic idea for this part, lol.
- Oh I don’t like Adan very much, he is pretty tho?? There was alot of blood though...how do machines bleed?? How do the androids bleed?? What??? I question this alot.
- HHHHHHH THE BECOME AS GODS CHAPTER SCARED ME I DON’T EVER WANNA DO THAT AGAIN DANG SUICIDAL ROBOTS SCARED ME SO BAD
- Fighting Eve was...annoying but still heartbreaking. He misses his brother so much....even though Adam is a butthead and couldn’t care less he left his little brother behind DX just everything about that fight was Tragic. Also Eve developing more self awareness and realizing “Eve” is a girl’s name and being a bit miffed LOL that’s what y’all get when your first book is the bible kiddos...I realize they’re technically like what? 2 weeks old still???
- The ENDING. From 9S’s perspective is especially scary....the corruption transforming him, 2B coming in to kill him to stop the pain, he BEGGED her to, just....hhhhhhh babies ;;A;; 2B’s soft broken crying over him as she’s forced to strangle her only friend to death just aaaaaAAAAAAAA I DIE ;;;;;;;;~;;;;;;;;;
- I was actually able to cry over it this time coz. It was 2 am. No parent awkwardly watching over my shoulder. Because the pose for this scene is...........super awkward..........like......really........their clothes are super torn up and uh. The first time I was just hoping my parents wouldn’t mistake it for a sex scene or something hhhhhghhhhh;;;;;; I really really REALLY wish the pose was different, the game does need to give the fanservice a rest, at LEAST for a scene this serious DX I’m able to ignore it but when someone else is watching I don’t wanna have to explain;;;;
- That IS a big gripe I have with the game. The fanservice. Just. Why. How is 2B’s outfit practical?? Self destruct mode???? REALLY???? Get this girl battle shorts or something please.....I guess if I looked at it more as a ballet outfit?? I might make some edits when I draw her because GEEZ.
- 9S gets some of this too. Self destruct mode, his shorts are blown off???? WHAT THE HECK???? Welp, never using that again. also why is he the only yorha boy android??????????? X’’’’D They never explain that!!
- BACK TO ENDING STUFF why were there random data hologram girls standing there, watching 2B strangle 9S?? Just...silently there...they weren’t there in the first playthrough?? I’ve seen them a couple times but they’re NEVER mentioned?? WHAT ARE THEY-- is it a glitch?? Wha--
- Teeny 9S being able to dump his consciousness into a giant machine robot guy and cradling 2B in his hand ;;~;; he’s fine y’all I’m so GLAD (I wanna draw something for this scene.... I wanna draw alot of things)
- I love Pascal. He should adopt all the sad people to his happy peace village. He already started that...what a good egg.
- The accessories option is lovely. I’ve been running around with 9S with a blue bow in his hair forever now ;7; replaced with the flower in his hair because BOYS AND FLOWERS I LOVE but I think I might give the flower to 2B because she’d look lovely with it and....I miss the blue bow X’D
- Also the AMOUNT of things this could line up with a KH universe....as far as how androids work, hearts (black boxes), memories making you...you, being able to transfer “hearts” to new bodies when the old is destroyed, POWER OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP...there’s alot. I dunno what to do with this info...
Anyway, I have alOT of thoughts and feelings on this game, it’s like...a very cool book. I’ve had trouble putting down. These aren’t even all of them but idk who I can actually rant to so here it is for the Void
I’m so interested to see where it goes!
#breezy babbles#ALOT#idk where else to put this so here#for the void#this probably absolutely makes no sense I'm so sorry#nier: automata#nier#meta#????kinda#I loooove love love 9S with all my heart and soul#he's also voiced by Mob's english voice actor which is SO MUCH CUTER#they need to hang out#I love 2B so much too#their operators are cute#pascal is cute#everyone is cute
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I can’t stop thinking about this lady Christine Chubbuck. I feel afraid that I’ll be like her. I also wonder if she had stayed alive longer would she have met someone she could’ve been with? What blocked her from getting what she wanted? I’ve been crying for like the past two hours now b/c I’ve never been w/anyone either & I never have anyone wanting to be with me. This isn’t a reading btw Idk who else to talk to about this right now. I’m trying so hard not to feel so heavy but I do. 😞
Hello darling.
It is okay if you feel certain negative emotions, we all have to go through such periods or have to fight our own demons.
I am not great with words and tend to be blunt and sometimes lack empathy but I will share my thoughts and advise. If you aren’t looking for advise then just skip all of this long blubber (it will be under the cut) and if you want to just talk and have someone to just listen to you the you can come off anon and message me on here. I am more than willing to lend a listening ear.
Now it’s okay to take a moment and acknowledge what bothers you, what is it that is causing that heavy bolder on your shoulders and just cry it out. Let all these pent up negative emotions and frustration flow away with your tears.
Sometimes taking the time to cry can be an amazing way to just clean ourselves by all the pent up emotions we bottle up from our daily lives.
Christine’s future had she decided to stay alive is not something we can point with certainty, after all each person is their own master of their lives. Your choices and actions (or lack there off) is what will help you build your life. There is no one way in life. Opportunities always come and go.
Sometimes when we have a mental illness, our demons that we need to fight, it can sometimes feel us if it’s taking control of us, it blurs ours views and if we let this take over us then it’s easy to give up (then again that is how I view this, I am not an expert not a wise old lady, in fact I’m just a 20 year old girl who still has so many things to learn from life!). Most of the times the blocks that we encounter it’s us who create them. There are also natural obstacles, but no matter how big they are we can over come them one way or an other.
It seems like you haven’t experienced the romantic type of love (correct me if I’m wrong, but that is what I can deduct from the ask). Though romance is not the only thing that life is worth living for and it certainly isn’t the only type of love that exists. Life has such an infinite opportunities that can present us with.
I honestly can’t speak so much about the romantic type of love. I never had really a relationship until recently. I felt pressured because I saw couples around me and I felt like something was wrong with me. Eventually I tried to rush myself into one and it is something that worked as a great love lesson for me.
Sometimes rushing into a relationship can work great but for me it didn’t. I grew feelings for someone and put myself through situations that were red flags concerning this relationship but I was so eager to get into one, I got tricked over the smooth and sweet words of that person, thinking they could possibly love me too. I confused that person’s obsession as love. It was unhealthy and to be honest I have been scarred in some ways from it.
It served me as a great lesson not to rush into things, if love is meant to be then so be it but I shouldn’t let my life be controlled by a thin string that represents romantic love.
Love can come in so many forms, there is family love (though it is true that some people haven’t had the chance to experience this type of love but in no way does it make them be worth less), there is the love you can get from friends too. Love can come your way in so many ways.
If you can try and make changes in life that can help you improve any situation you want to improve. Don’t change yourself or your habits unless it harms you. Try to take care of yourself because you are worth it. Loving yourself is the most important thing you need to achieve first and foremost before seeking any other form of love. Drink more water, eat healthier, have a good sleep schedule, shower if you hadn’t showered in a while, exercise. If you have a mental illness and have the means and possibilities then search for a professional who can listen and help you.
If you self harm, please don’t do it. Your body is your vessel, it fights so hard to keep you alive, so please take care of it. If you have any self harm thoughts or suicide thoughts, then please contact an anonymous suicide prevention line or contact somebody who can listen to you and help you get back up to your feet.
I wish you all the best honey and if you want you can message me off anon on here. I might not be a great helper but I can lend a listening ear and try the best I can do to help❤️
Rose
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All the asks.
Aaaaah tysm!!!!!
Sunrise or sunset?
Sunset. I prefer the colours and also not being awake so early!
Are you mentally ill?
Yeah I have depression but whatevs
Are you physically ill?
Chronically my dude. I have IBS and EDS type 3
What is the most expensive thing you have bought?
A plane ticket for nearly £1000 lmao! It took me working 3 jobs for over a year but it was worth it.
Do you have a job?
Not atm but I’ll get one in a few months.
Are you in school?
Noooooo!! I finally finished sixth form in June. I’m finally free!! (I’m so happy I won’t have to see half those people again ngl)
Are you a dropout?
Nah
Are you in college?
Assuming this means uni, then no, but I will be in october.
Introvert or extrovert?
I have?? No idea?? I’m shy af and really quiet but I do like meeting new people.
What do you think when you look at your body?
I don’t really think much at all anymore, which is an improvement tbh. I just sort of see it but don’t process it.
What have others said when they look at your body?
I’ve had a lot of not-so-supportive comments about my body from a lot of people. Most people tell me I’m too thin, that I’m unattractive, that I should get surgery for one reason or another. Idk. I don’t expect much more tbh.
Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply?
Hoo boi I have a whole playlist of songs that mean something to me.
Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive?
It was 2, maybe 3 weeks ago now XD I was roadtripping around America with my best friend @only-slightly-dangerous and it was the happiest I’ve ever been. We were care free and the world was beautiful and there were so many new things to see and do. I wish I was back there.
Are you confident wearing a bikini?
Not at all, I’ll avoid it at all costs.
Can you look people in the eyes while talking?
See, I don’t have a conscious issue with it. I don’t mind eye contact that much. But I usually subconsciously end up looking away, especially if I’m thinking deeply about something/trying to remember something.
Has anything terrible happened to you?
Depends on your definition of terrible. But yeah, a couple of things have really fucked me up.
Has anything wonderful happened to you?
I met the best person in my life at the worst time in my life. The chances of it happening were ridiculously slim; I still can’t get my head around it.
Favorite part of your personality?
I don’t know. My patience or my sense of humor?
Least favorite part of your personality?
How easily I become jealous of others. Or maybe my need to be in control. I’m working on both of them though.
Favorite part of your body?
....my legs? I’m told theyre p good?
Least favorite part of your body?
Maybe my face? Maybe my chest. Idk, I don’t critique it often.
Favorite quote?
“The sun will rise and we will try again”. There are others I like, but that’s the first that comes to mind.
Do you have friendships with all genders?
I have a crippling fear of men so most my close friends are with girls. Though again, I’m working on it.
Do you have a good relationship with your father?
I didn’t used to so much, but I think it’s improved a lot over the past few years.
Do you have a good relationship with your mother?
It’s complicated. I don’t really wanna go into it rn
Do you have a good relationship with your siblings?
I don’t have any sibs, kinda wish I did though
Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member?
Yuuup
Have you ever had a near death experience?
Nope
Do you know anyone who has taken their own life?
Yeah. I used to talk to a girl on here and for months we held a pact of staying alive for each other. But she gave up (I kind of understood though). That was rough.
Have you ever tried to take your own life?
...whatever I answer this with feels like a lie
Biggest lie you have told?
I canny remember lmao
Do you follow any conspiracies?
I haven’t read much into many conspiracies, ngl. But there was something strange about how those twin towers fell down...
Do you believe in a New World Order?
Never heard of it. Gonna google it though.
Do you respect your government and the way your country is run?
Not at all. The tories can kiss my butt. They’re barely human.
Is there currently any strife in your country?
Meh, nothing too bad.
Have you ever been displaced within your country?
Nope, thankfully.
Are your friendships healthy?
The ones I have left are lmao! I’ve been doing a lot of cutting off in the past year, but it seems to have worked out pretty well.
Are you currently fighting with a friend?
No
Are you jealous of a friend? Why?
No. Their achievements don’t diminish my own. I want them all to succeed.
Do you believe in the Illuminati?
As much as I’m here for the meme, I don’t actually know much about it.
Do you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who?
See previous.
How can people tell you are nervous?
Um, I don’t know. I try not to let on. Depending on the situation I might ask a lot of questions about it or just be very talkative in general. Also not being able to sit still.
How can people tell you are sad?
I don’t tend to talk as much or with as much enthusiasm. I also tend to “zone out” a lot if I’m feeling really down. Sometimes I’ll just give up on conversations all together and refuse to make any more effort than the other person is doing.
Do you ever express your true feelings?
I...think so. Yeah. I sometimes dilute them when I express them, but I rarely keep a feeling contained completely. That destroys me.
Regrets in your life?
Not standing up for myself more.
Achievements in your life?
I won a couple of things when I was younger (basketball tournaments, painting competitions) also I do well in school ig?
What did people say about you in school?
I mean, I’m sure I never heard all of it. The general consensus seemed to be everyone hated me for being “stuck up” and for doing okay at tests. Idk.
What did you say about people in school?
Depended on the person lmao! I wasn’t a big fan of many people in my year, but I didn’t really hate any of them as much as they thought.
Is there something you have never told anyone?
yh
Have you committed an illegal act?
I mean, piracy, that’s it.
If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it?
I’d buy a house somewhere nice, a plane ticket and a holiday. Then I’d give a decent amount to everyone I know. The rest I’d give to charity.
What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18?
I cant even remember what my aspirations were yesterday?? I’ve pretty much always wanted to do something to do with science, though it’s varied which parts of it.
Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined?
It aint happened.
Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household?
Low to average I’d say? My mums a single parent but we do okay.
Are you from a broken marriage?
My parents are divorced yah
Have you been raised by a solo parent?
Sort of? Officially speaking yeah.
Do you know both your parents?
Yup
What colour eyes, hair and skin do you have?
Brown eyes, blonde hair and white skin.
Have you abused drugs or alcohol?
No. I’ve drunk when I probably should have just talked about my feelings though.
What languages can you speak?
I speak english and a reasonable level of spanish. I’m also learning danish atm.
Do you conform to your societies standards?
Idk, I guess not.
Do you cry often?
Lmao, a lot more often than most people yeah. I’ve a very emotional person.
Do you tell people what you think of them?
Only the good parts.
Are you comfortable accepting compliments?
Not at all, it always feels like a lie.
Are you comfortable giving compliments?
Oh yeah! If I’m thinking something good about someone I’ll let them know!
Is any mental illness hindering your life?
Depression. It’s a bugger.
Is any physical illness hindering your life?
To a normal person it might seem it, but I’ve just kind of adapted to my illnesses so I can live life as normally as possible now.
Do you keep up with current events?
I try to I suppose. I haven’t so much recently though ngl.
What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read?
This feels like a test....idk
What have you done today?
Slept, eaten, watched netflix, scrolled through tumblr.
Do you sleep well?
Sometimes
Do you sleep badly?
Sometimes
Have you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting?
Who on earth remembers their past with such clarity?? I mean, it’s possible yeah. But I couldn’t tell you who or when and it’s not something I’m proud of.
Has anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting?
Search me. That isn’t usually the first thing I ask someone when they hurt me.
Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why?
Yeah, a couple. Especially friendships if people have been more trouble than they’re worth and they’ve become someone who regularly hurts me.
Have you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves?
I’ve talked a few people down from suicide, but I don’t know how many of them are doing rn unfortunately.
Has anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself?
My best friend.
Do you like your laugh?
I don’t hate it, but I do worry it annoys other people.
Are you preparing for an apocalypse? And what kind?
Lmfao no I’m not prepared for anything!!
Do you have any funny family stories?
Not really, not that I can remember.
Are you religious?
Nah
Do you like to watch true crime shows or movies?
Yeah lmao, ngl I love a good true crime show
Are you interested in cults?
...I guess I wouldn’t be adverse to finding out more about them
Would you like to raise a family in your country?
I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst place in the world to do it, but I plan on moving to another country before I consider doing that.
List some things you wanted in your childhood but never got?
I don’t know?? I was just grateful for the things I did have.
Is there a large age gap between you and a sibling?
Lmfao yeah 18 years and counting
Are you from a blended family?
Yup
Do you believe in marriage? Why/Why not?
Yeah I once saw a married person with my own two eyes.
What is the nicest thing anyone has said to you?
“You are my favourite person.”
Do you keep a journal?
In a way? I have a blog that acts as a journal and also a scrapbook
Would anyone be hurt by reading it?
Probably. I think about that a lot.
Do you have children?
Nope
Have you been pregnant?
Nopety nope
List your favorite movies?
In no particular order:
-Deadpool -My Sisters Keeper -Mamma Mia -Hot Fuzz -The Life of Brian -The Lovely Bones -Pitch Perfect 2
List your favorite people?
They know who they are.
Talk about the birthmarks and scars on your body?
Umm, I have a birthmark on my neck which I always think would be cool if it showed how I died in a previous life.
Do you look after yourself?
Most of the time yeah
Do you put yourself or others first?
I put others first almost all the time. I couldn’t bare not to.
Are you happy today?
I mean,,, I was cut open and zipped back up 2 days ago so I’ve felt better lmao!
Are you loved?
Contrary to what my anxiety wants me to believe, I think I actually might be by a few people.
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Kpop tag game
Well @duckhoney tagged me in a biiiiiiig post lol so here my answers
10 groups/artists you like besides Kpop/liked before Kpop ?
Coldrain / One Ok Rock / Coldplay / U2 / Three Days Grace / Wolfie / Eminem / Claude Debussy / London Grammar / Michael Jackson (many other but lets say its my actual fav hehe)
10 favorite non-kpop songs ? *currently*
Sunday Bloody Sunday (U2) / Thinking of You (Mabel) / Love never felt so good (Michael Jackson) / In Bloom ( Nirvana) / Rêverie (C.Debussy) / Glory Box (Portishead) / Starless Night (Trapnest) / Yuki ni saku hana (Hanazawa Kana) / Edge of the Earth (30 seconds to Mars) / Me and Mrs.Jones (Michael Bublé)
10 favorite movies ?
The Devil wears Prada / Lilo & Stitch / Inception / Matrix / The Lord of the Rings / Sala Samobójców (Suicide Room) / Requiem for a dream / 13 going on 30 / American Nightmare / My best friend's wedding
10 favorite tv shows, including anime & cartoons
American Horror Story / Desperate Housewives / Skins / Ink Master / The Simpsons / Shinsekai Yori / Hell's kitchen / Game Of Thrones / Next (this show was so funny lmao) ( i didnt put so much anime bc the list is too big ;;)
10 favorite manga/comics
Tokyo Ghoul / Ao Haru Ride / Orange / Death Note / Deadman Wonderland / Nana (the author is better now TvT) / Sukitte ii na yo / Kujira no kora wa sajô ni utau / Pandora Hearts / Kasane
10 things you enjoyed before kpop/enjoy besides kpop, that won't fit in the lists above ?
dancing / writing / drawing / swimming / hanging out with friends / reading / taking pictures / surfing on the web / playing with dogs / singing
Another Tag Game
( @joonwings also tagged me for this so hehe)
Nickname: Cam, Cami, CamCam, neko-chi, chaton (=kitten)
Starsign: virgo
Height: 163cm
Time right now: 8:29pm
Last thing googled: Hwarang ep8 eng sub lol
Favorite music artists: BTS + above
Song stuck in your head: (kpop one) Limitless by NCT 127 (not kpop) 24K magic by Bruno Mars and Starboy by The Weeknd too
Last movie watched: Nocturnal Animals
Last TV show watched: N'oubliez pas les paroles (its a french one haha)
What are you wearing right now: black pikachu pj and a super soft white sweater and my piggy socks
When did you create your blog: 3years ago! It was its 3rd birthday on the 30th of December :') (on tae's birthday i wasnt even into kpop lol) but i started using it 1/2 years ago
What kind of stuff do you post: 95% BTS, 3% other kpop bands, 2% drawings/photo of landscape, ppl or puppies
Do you have any other blogs: yes but im not using them
Do you get asks regularly: ...;;;
Why did you choose your URL: I like to write and before I was more into fantastic thing so its the name I imagined for my main character haha
Gender: Female
Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw (I was gryffindor before!)
Pokemon team: Fire (on pokemon go im team blue haha)
Favourite colour: black, grey, burgundy
Average hours of sleep: 6-8 hours
Lucky number: 11
Favorite character(s): ok its just SOME of them lol, Nana, Kou Mabuchi, Ken Kaneki, Jace Herondale
How many blankets do you sleep with: 1-2
Dream job: author, book editor BTS noona
Following: ppl who are following me or ppl I follow ?
BTS Would You Rather
Would you rather:
Build a snowman with V OR have a snowball fight with jhope
Get coffee with suga OR get ice cream with suga
go to the cinema with jimin OR the amusement park with jungkook
do a dance cover with jhope OR sing a duet with jin
kiss rap monster OR cuddle suga
babysit with jimin OR dogsit with v (even if im sure it'd adorable to babysit with JM)
meet jhope's family OR have v meet your family
film a commercial with jhope OR film a sketch with V
hug jimin OR hold hands with jungkook (whyyyy ;;; i want both)
go to paris with jin OR go to London with suga
film a drama with jin OR do a photo shoot with rap monster
attend an award show with rap monster OR wear couple tshirt at the airport with jungkook
spend a lazy day with suga OR explore the city with jhope
fall asleep next to jimin OR wake up next to jungkook
make up a silly rap with v OR a silly choreography with jin
have jungkook serenade you OR v sing you to sleep (i want to hear tae's lullaby....)
have a dance party with jhope OR sing karaoke with suga (i take sope)
go camping with jimin and v OR go to the beach with rap monster and suga
cook with jin OR bake a cake with jimin
have a sleepover with the hyung line OR a birthday party with the maknae line
celebrate halloween with jungkook, suga, v and jhope OR Christmas rap monster, jimin and jhope (but i want halloween too ;; itd be so funny)
~NSFW Time~ *SOS*
Would you rather:
dom jhope OR sub jin (cody do you remember)
wear lingerie for rap monster OR put lingerie on jimin
tie up jungkook OR get tied up by v (it was really hard to choose)
pull suga's hair OR get your hair pulled by rap monster
have shower sex with jimin OR have sex pool with v
perform oral on jungkook OR have jhope go down on you (DONT ASK ME TO CHOOSE!)
have a romantic sex with jin OR rough sex with jimin
have angry sex with v OR make up sex with suga
suck hickeys onto jungkook's neck OR get hickeys from v
put a blindfold on jimin OR get blindfolded by rap monster
have phone sex with rap monster OR Skype sex with jhope
ride jimin's thigh OR ride jungkook's thigh (their thighs are perfect)
have jin call you "kitten" OR rap monster call you "babygirl"
wear a collar for jin OR put a collar on jimin
beg for suga OR make jungkook beg for you (hehehehehe)
have sex backstage with jhope OR in the kitchen with jin
get teased under the table at a dinner by rap monster OR tease jimin
play never have i ever with rap monster, suga and jungkook OR strip poker with jhope, jimin, v and jin
do body shots with rap monster, suga and jin OR get lap dances from jhope, jimin, jungkook and v (show me your magic mike!)
Pick A Member | BTS
Rules: Pick ONE of the members listed for each question and explain why! Be honest ad don't just pick your favourite for every answer. Do not choose a memeber who is not listed and try to answer every question.
1. Amusement park date ? Jin/Taehyung/Jimin
• I think we like the same type of attractions and I want him to wear Mickey mouse ears hehe
2. Spend a lazy afternoon with ? Jin/Jungkook/Yoongi
• I would like to watch anime and play video games with him and just take a nap on each other arms
3.Play 1v1 sports with ? Jimin/Hoseok/Taehyung
• It'd be so funny with this idiot, like making crazy victory poses or useless moves lol
4.Make out session with ? Yoongi/Jungkook/Jimin
• I had to search what "make out" means lol but obviously I choose him :)
5.Cheek kisses ? Jin/Hoseok/Jimin
• I want to see him blushing (but also Hobi I think his reaction would be fun)
6.Do a YouTube boyfriend does your make up tag with ? Hoseok/Taehyung/Namjoon
• IT HAS TO BE HIM! bwahahaha I can't even imagine it! he'd choose a gothic style
7.Introduce to your parents ? Jimin/Jungkook/Taehyung
• Dad: so it's you, our daughter kept talking about you, she even called you a god / *me wanting to burry myself right now*
8.Go to a haunted house with ? Yoongi/Namjoon/Hoseok
• I need someone rational to comfort/distract me lol (I was hesitating with Namjoon but he's too clumsy he'd make too much nooises and I will jump every time)
9.Drunk nights with ? Hoseok/Jimin/Jin
• I think we would be the type to cry of laughter just by looking at each other faces XD (I laughed for nothing when Im drunk..)
10.Who would you want to see do aegyo for a whole day as a punishment ? Namjoon/Yoongi/Jungkook
• I was hesitating with Namjoon but I think he'd be cringy lol so the bear!
11.Who would help you pick out outfits ? Taehyung/Namjoon/Yoongi
• I like his style and love shirts so I guess Tae would be perfect for this
12.School dance date ? Jin/Namjoon/Hoseok
• I want to dance all night long and shine next to my sun
13.Sing a duet with ? Taehyung/Jimin/Jungkook
• I think our voices are matching :') I'd do the harmony haha
14.Would make you breakfast in bed ? Yoongi/Jin/Jungkook
• He's the kitchen's king ;)
15.Go on a late night adventure with ? Jungkook/Taehyung/Namjoon
• Us looking for a bowling at 3am lol
16. First time ? Taehyung/Jimin/Yoongi
• (*///*)... my moon and stars
17. Whose clothes you'd steal and wear ? Jin/Taehyung/Hoseok
• First I like his clothes (especially his sweat pants/hoodies), 2nd I just wanna smell his scent on it lol
18.Late deep night conversations with ? Namjoon/Yoongi/Jungkook
• He's the first my mind picked, I think we could "help" each other
19. Who'd you have a play water fight with ? Jimin/Hoseok/Taehyung
• I can't choose between them.. I can imagine me and Tae making a team against Hobi or them doing this with me ;v;
20.Who would you say you're most compatible with ? (Choose any of the 7 members but remember, favoristism and compatibility are two different things).
• Most of my friends say Hoseok but I think I'm more compatible with Jungkook or Namjoon :') sorry JiHope
Bias Tag
Rules: pick 10 biases and answer the questions. No specific order.
(I put them really randomly)
1.Jimin
2.Jongup
3.Hyungwon
4.Chanyeol
5. Sungjae
6.Hoseok
7.BamBam
8.Minhyuk
9.Johnny
10.Jackson
1. Between 3&6, whose most recent concept do you like more?
• I prefer the BS&T concept sorry :(
2. Between 2&10, who would you rather be stranded on an island with ?
• Jackson! XD he went on "Law of the Jungle" so he already has some skills, jungle is him ;)
3.Between 4&8, who would you trust to take care of you when you were drunk ?
• Aish... I don't really know lol maybe more Chanyeol ?
4.Between 1&2, who would you go in jail for ?
• Jimin
5.Between 5&9, who is a better visual to you ?
• Sungjae, his face is so unique idk
6.Between 7&8, who would you rather save from a sinking ship ?
•... ;---;... my babies... I put them both on something! Ill be their Jack!
7.Between 6&10, who would you rather have a movie marathon with ?
• Hoseok ~
8.Between 1&10, who do you think makes a better impression ?
• Maybe Jimin ?
9.Between 3&7, who would you prefer to kiss in the rain ?
• BamBam <3 *internal screaming*
10.Between 5&6, who would you rather have a summer fling with ?
• Hoseok. Of course.
11.Between 5&7, who would you rather do drugs with ?
• Idk at all XD
12.Between 3&8, who would you rather take home to your parents ?
• aaaah boy from the same band x')... Minhyuk ?
13.Between 9&10, whose wardrobe do you want more ?
• Jackson like I don't really know Johnny's style yet hehe
14.Between 4&10, who would you be more surprised to see cry ?
• Jackson
15.Between 1&4, who would you rather have kiss you on the forehead ?
• Jimin but it's only bc he's my everything bc I would be extremely happy to have one from Chanchan too ;v;
16.Between 2&3, who would you rather have hug from behind ?
• Hyungwon-ssi <3 (happy late birthday my baby)
17.Between 5&2, whose group do you stan more ?
• I stan them equally honestly :/
18.Between 4&9, who is higher up on your bias list ?
• Chanyeol, I know him more <3
19.Between 1&7, who would you open your door up to during the purge ?
• ;-; both ? No I guess Jimin, I prefer to die by his hand haha
20. Between 6&9, who would you rather go to a haunted house with ?
• Hoseok! Two crybabies together XD
I tag: @space--lover @gwangjuhope @angelblushe @ofpandaspilliws @min-nevermind @jungjeonkimin @lovablehoseok (do whatever you want or just ignore it haha and if you have some time and courage do everything ;v; im just very curious about you hehe)
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oOoOooOooOo she has so many thoughts !! time to spill !!
diagnosis and next steps
so, after the bad appointment last time, my mum and I have been planning to go back to the doctors and try to see a different practitioner and see if I can get referred this way. my mum talked to this psychiatrist lady she knows, and she asked me to send her an email with my symptoms and why i want a diagnosis. i told her the truth, including that i want a diagnosis for validation of my experience and the ability to access special circumstances at the university and through whatever employment I enter (so that, when school starts and when i get a proper job, i don’t have to wait 6 months for verification of my illness while i... idk break down or something. preventative mental health care just seems so logical idk why it isn’t encouraged more.)
the psychiatrist wrote a letter with her recommendations, something i could maybe give to whatever GP I see. Right now, though, i’m wondering if this is 1) worth it, 2) necessary, and 3) if i’m doing it for the right reasons.
I know that something is still wrong. I know if I was neurotypical i wouldn’t be self harming, i wouldn’t be having panic attacks, i wouldn’t be having these episodes of severe sadness and suicidal ideation. i wouldn’t still struggle with food. so, something is wrong. a diagnosis of SOME KIND is needed, because i haven’t been evaluated since before first year and these seem to have expiry dates. so i feel like, even if the first GP i saw didn’t think i had BPD, he should have still referred me because of the symptoms I have????? like fucking maybe ??
the thing is though, i know i’m not supposed to be in therapy right now. i know the relationships i have with my therapists can stunt my emotional growth (... just saying.... this is another symptom of BPD... just putting that out there). so i don’t want a diagnosis so that i can access TREATMENT. i’ve been getting treatment for over a decade ! i need to see how i do on my own ! so far that’s been.... real mixed !!!! as my life always is ! some days i feel like a fully normal person ! other days i feel like a fucking GOD. and other times i want to Fully Die and i feel the Worst I’ve Ever Felt and it feels like every cell in my body has relapsed. but i feel like if i say i’m not looking for therapy a doctor is going to (fairly, as well) be confused as to why i want an assessment.
the way i see it, a diagnosis allows me to access the SUPPORT i need to live my life without therapy. it allows me to have days off when i need them, it allows me extra time in exams, it is lenient with me in terms of how much is expected of me as a researcher or academic or employee. a diagnosis helps me navigate the world slightly easier. having a diagnosis of an eating disorder meant that i could be strict with employers about food breaks. having a diagnosis of depression meant i was given leniency when i came to missing classes and lectures. diagnoses are keys. if my life has these adjustments, therapy isn’t necessary. life gets its hardest when i can’t access these adjustments. but i don’t know if this is good enough for a GP to refer me. i know waiting lists are long (ahahaha i know this SO WELL) and doctors don’t want people on them who might have nothing wrong with them. i get that. but there is definitely something wrong with me, and i feel like this reason is a valid enough reason. maybe. i think i think i think.
okay but here’s where i stumble. because DESPITE IT BEING YET ANOTHER SYMPTOM THAT I DON’T HAVE A STABLE SENSE OF SELF AND I OFTEN CLING TO SPECIFIC THINGS TO MODEL MYSELF OFF OF BECAUSE I DON’T FEEL SUBSTANTIAL ON MY OWN i have always depended on my previous diagnoses as personality-makers. being ‘anorexic’ or ‘anxious’ became my entire personality. identifying with BPD has done the same. i honestly cannot remember a time where i didn’t have a diagnosis of some kind, just as i couldn’t remember a time until just recently when i hadn’t been in therapy. existing without a diagnosis is something i have never done, and the idea of it is SO FUCKING TERRIFYING. and, often, when i’m scared about something, it’s a sign i really, really, very much need to do that thing.
so now i’m stuck ! between the possibility that maybe i need to see how i am without a diagnosis and no help ! and trying to get help again and maybe being rejected again !!! but, i guess, if this was a physical illness ( and ik ik it’s stupid to compare them i know) then i wouldn’t be like ‘well, i’ve always had the diagnosis of diabetes, so maybe i should go a while without having it’. that’s just dumb.
look, i know my symptoms are mild. they are nowhere near as severe as many of those with BPD experience. my mania and depressive episodes happen a 3/4 times a week rather than three times a day. i don’t have debt. my relationships are significantly more stable (definitely not perfect by any means tho, still a long way to go, can’t get complacent). the eating disorder is so much better, the self harming is so much better. i am getting better. but when things are bad, they are SO BAD !!! and if i wait until things are SO BAD then it will be too late ! i am being a good patient by going in now smh.
i am going to go back to the doctors. i don’t know if i’m going to let my mum come into the actual appointment with me, because that’s a boundary i really want to reinforce. but i also don’t want to push her out of my personal struggles entirely either, so i feel like her coming down to support me through the appointment is a really good middle ground. we’ll see.
going home and family
i went home this weekend !!! i took alex and we got the train and my ENTIRE FAMILY CAME TO THE STATION and fucking Rory homophobe smith was there which was just... hilarious. so weird. why are my family so intense. but it went so well !! so so well ! i feel like dad likes alex way more than he ever liked mike (idk what he had against mike). i felt bad for not spending much time with my mum on our own, because that;s what i always do when i go home. but it was actually super nice to not do that, to not have super intensive emotional sessions with her. it was just... lovely to play chess and drink coffee and play with the dogs with alex and then leave the next day.
the night was hard. the night is always hard. triggers creep in like ghosts in the night, they seep through the wooden floors and sink into me. i went manic and was going through all the cupboards on the first and lower floor. idk what i was looking for. it was a pair of strawberry-patterned converse at first, and then i started feeling paranoid for no reason and searching for old diaries of mine that i thought my parents had hidden.
partners meeting family is always a big and important thing for me. gay partners meeting family is... a Whole New Thing. it forced me to confront those lingering feelings of guilt and shame that i feel about my sexuality and the Big Feelings of guilt i feel for upsetting my mother by being queer (aha. lol. that was. the worst. feeling. ever. it broke my heart. i am absolutely still not over that heartbreak it turns out. i’m getting there though.) but we did it and it went well and i am so grateful to have such a supportive partner and i am very in love and i like them very much and it feels like we are in a good and stable place and that is the best feeling ever.
how summer is going
summer is going. it’s super good and super bad. i need to get more interviews. i need to keep trying to keep a routine and keep my room clean and get fresh air even if that means i buy coffee from some dumb coffee shop every day. work is hit or miss. anxiety comes in waves, as does dissociation. depression hits like a brick and then leaves like a moving van. i need to sleep more, need to shower every day. water the sun flower. i have my paints now ! and my brushes !!! so i can paint things for all my friends and that makes me happy. immy and chema and dara and ale and alex can all get little summer paintings to commemorate the end of summer.
what’s next
dissertation. i’m putting out a new round of posts tomorrow. meeting ihsaan to catch up because i have been a terrible, super negligent friend to him recently. buy groceries because i need to eat more vegetables and protein. maybe buy a baking tin and make banana bread this week. i get paid on wednesday: no. 1 priority? immy’s birthday present. i have MANY IDEAS. gotta pick one now.
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Losing control..
So many things have happened over the past year. With the passing of my mom from stage four lung cancer. I still haven’t recover from the pain of losing her. It pains me inside and yet I find it hard to cry because of everything bottled up for so long.
As of this year nothing has changed with me. Still in depression...with everything going on and with my moms one year passing I still can’t get over the fact that she’s gone. Why must I feel regret? I feel that I could of done more while she was still alive? Top it off my best friend got shot around the apartment complex he use to live in and at the same time my supervisor from Great America committed suicide. To this day, idk why he did it...was he fed up with life that he had to take his own life. If only, I could just take my own life right now and not having to deal with all the pain and suffering I have to endure. But knowing death is not the answer and that there should be a reason/purpose as to why I’m still living??
I am now finding out that my dad has prostate cancer, but not sure which stage it is at. I am hoping it’s at the first stage, so there’s still hope for a few more years. Idk if I can go through another family member passing away. I’ve lost too much....friends, colleagues, family. I still see their faces in dreams and driving by myself on the road.
I am losing control of all aspects of feelings, emotions, anger, anxiety... My whole body is shaken up just by everything that’s happening. I am better off just killing myself at this point, so I really don’t have to deal with this pain any longer. I feel myself slipping into darkness once again where no one will be able to reach out to me. I will be forever alone and lonely dealing with despair and suffering deep inside of me. This is what I deserve for having a kind heart, for being too nice, caring for others. Nothing ever comes out of being the nice guy when you have people taking advantage of you. Why must I hurt myself even after years of experiencing the same situations of liking someone to only end up getting hurt in the end? I might as well just stab my heart with a knife, or blow my brains out with a gun. Currently drinking to numb the feeling...
Expressing my inner emotions/feelings in words that cannot be said verbally..
To the people who care about me, I would like to show appreciation, but you can only do so much for me. The rest is through willpower and shear determination to get through it. I understand from your point of views that you worry and care for me and I’m sorry at times for worrying and hurting you for being so negative with my life. Keep in mind I have dealt with this for so long over the years and I can’t bear the pain any longer. Please understand should I take my own life I don’t want any tears coming from anyone. It just shows how weak I am and that I deserve to die.
To my best friends and his brothers, you are like a second family to me and you know all the shit I’ve been through and I’ve been through all the shit you’ve all been through. You know how I am and that it’s hard for me to lie about how I am feeling. When I go mia away from you all, you understand it’s temporary and that I have my own shit to take care of first. That’s why we all made a new crew name Kazuko Kuresuto (family crest) since we are one whole family but with different ethnicity, different backgrounds, different lives that become one.
Blair: You will always be a “lovable asshole” as how you portray how your friends see you as, but in a good way not bad way. You are probably the only person that can sense my aura or the tone of my voice and know that something bad happened. And like you said before I have this gravity where I can pull people in and its a trait that’s rare to have. And that would explain why I have a group of friends that is categorized from high school, work friends, college friends, etc...
To all my other close friends, thanks for being there for me when times were hard.
Jasmine: Even though we hardly know each other and I rarely talk to you. I thank you for caring about me.
Daisy: I am glad that I met you through Sno-Crave and spent those days getting off of work from AsteelFlash to go visit you. I enjoyed your company while enjoying crepes and teas and getting you gifts for Christmas even though it wasn’t much. Thanks for going out to eat with me on your days off from work, or whenever you were free to grub. I am happy you found someone that makes you happy. I hope you stay this way being happy and full of life. I do cherish our friendship. I’m sorry for making you worry. I know you care.
Kiana: You probably won’t even see this (maybe) and maybe only your friends will see it. I told you how I was going to push away the feelings I have for you, but I lied. I know I can never be more than a friend to you. Ever since I truly cared for you is where these feelings came into play. I just can’t see you stressing and going through so much. I can only do so much for you, but I find it hard that you don’t want to open up to me? Are you afraid of me, or afraid something might happen to me should I enter your life? We are human and everything is a mystery and come in unexpected ways. Maybe I’m shy, but I can never express, or say the words how I feel towards you while trying to find the meaning behind it. I find it hard to say the very words that you are searching for, but led by disappointment. Should anything ever happen to me, it will not be because of you. Even if we never met, my fate would of still be the same. I would of still tried to commit suicide even though I postponed it for far too long. I have yet to find purpose in life. I have yet to find meaning. I don’t know what you see in me that I don’t see? I just find it peculiar we have a similarity in some things that we think about. Please do not shed any tears for me. I can’t fathom to see tears drip from your precious face.
__________________________________________________________
Give me a sign...
Give me a sign...
To understand this pain
From feeling so empty inside
From feeling so lonely
Please save me from this demise
And I’ll keep you alive
If you show me the way
From falling apart
The scars will remain
Embedded into my heart
Where you’ll forever be
Saving my soul
0 notes
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tennessee farmers insurance group
"tennessee farmers insurance group
tennessee farmers insurance group
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tennessee farmers insurance group
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i went through swinton, axa ,norwich union, high performance, churchil, and a couple others. they did not even come close...is this possible? i am a bit suspicious, if that tesco quote is reliable, but they say when i call that i can complete the whole process online and i do enter the same detail as on other websites.""
Insurance totalling my car looks suspicious?
At this point I regret making a claim and wish i could turn back the clock. I am being forced into a box and it looks shady. Three weeks ago my 2005 Cadillac STS was involved in a parking lot flood where the water rose and filled the floors of my car by about 4 inches. All us neighbors had cleaning parties using a wet vac and baking and toweling are cars in the sun over the next few days letting our vehicles dry out. On my car everything works like a dream as it did before with the exception of a 'check stability control' notice that comes on when I start the car. I have been driving the car fine since the flood and decided maybe I should make a claim to fix this error that pops up on the dash when i start the car. From the time I dropped it off at the dealer it has been all negative. Right away the dealer was negative and telling me it's the end of the world with my car, everything is ruined and it will probably be a total loss. He got the adjuster for my insurance company out there and it looks like it will be put in to the total loss category. No i am just asking the insurance company to forget everything and drop the claim because the damage is not that extreme and i dont want to lose my car. I am told at this point it is too late. Is that true? My neighbors are floored by this, i have been driving it around for a few weeks just fine and the car still looks new With only 62000 miles on it. I can't help from thinking that something suspicious is going on here. Do they stand to make a nice profit by totalling my vehicle and then replacing one module for a 1000 or so and having a perfect car with all systems working? Also the lady from the claims office said the car had to be 80% damaged for it to be a total loss. I asked her if this was based on speculative problems that they think may occur in the future because of the water, or based on actual damage now? She said it had to be actual damage now but couldn't give me any details from the adjuster yet. Can I demand that the adjuster list everything that he thinks has been damaged to my car (which I am convinced he will have to be creative to do so)? The car as i said drives wonderful, I checked the fluids on my own (fine), and the car looks new. Do I have any recourse here? I just want the car fixed for the one problem, i dont want to lose the car, and at this point I don't even care about having insurance fix the one problem, but again I am told it is too late to go backwards and drop this entire issue. I almost have an inclination to report this because it looks so shady. No reasonable person would look at, and drive this car and consider it a total loss. What is the agenda of the insurance company and cadillac dealer here? Something smells foul with this situation.""
How much do you think car insurance would be for me?
I am a 17 yr. old male in southern california driving a 2006 nissan 350z
Which car would be less for insurance?
A 2003 mustang v6 or an Infiniti g35 coupe? I'm 18 and I have a clean driving record. I have the choice of getting either one.
What is the best insurance company for a recently passed young driver?
I passed my test last week and i am looking to buy a corsa, punto, clio like car. Its gonna be either a 1.0L or 1.2L car. How much will this cost me and what companies will give me the best quotes? Also, i am a boy""
Cheapest insurance for motorcycle in melbourne?
hi m looking for insurance company that hs cheapest price for me. m 19 yo female, 4years experience on motorcycle. help me pls,,, i think i ll gt for the third party""
tennessee farmers insurance group
tennessee farmers insurance group
Where can I get affordable healthcare?
I am a Iraqi war veteran with a serviced connected disability of 50%. I would like to find good health care for my wife a full time student that is affordable. I have done searches in places like www.eHealthInsurance.com and the insurance is either really expensive or it doesn't cover much which could make things expensive. Any suggestions would be great.
What company has the least expensive auto insurance for young drivers?
Does anyone know of an insurance company that is reasonable with it's rates for a young lady driver with a good driving record but bad credit? Full coverage is needed on the vehicle. Thank you for your time and your answers.
""Where can I get insurance, I want to play a sport but I don't have insurance ?
So im thinking about joining sports in school but I don't have insurance and does state farm sell that kind of insurance or any other insurance company
Car insurance canceled my policy. i got in an accident and then paid the money. they accepted the money and?
then refused to cover the accident. i was told since they accepted the money and didn't make me open a new policy with a new down payment. and didn't give me my money back ...show more
Insurance question?
what is the average price of insurance of a 18 year old male with a sports car in the zip code area of 72601
What is UPS waiting period for health insurance?
How long after being hired as a permanent part-time employee do you have to wait for insurance to kick in?
""Renter's insurance, is it worth it?""
I keep on getting these ads from Geico on the renter's insurance packages that they offer. I am renting right now and has one roommate. I've gotten mixed opinions on the renter's insurance, some say it's not worth it some say it is. So what do you guys think? I don't think it's that much money, maybe like $20 a month or something like that?""
How much would insurance be on 96 tahoe?
i'm 19, and i'm about to get my licences. i always be eye balling this tahoe. how much would insurance be on it??""
Home Owners Insurance?
My husband and I are looking for the best home owners insurance in California one that includes earthquake coverage and other stuff like fire and theft can you give me places to check out? We will be living in Culver City, California in the USA""
Insurance company would not like to insure me a sole proprietorship?
I am a film major, a student and very involved in different projects. I decided to open my own film company a sole proprietorship, meaning I DBA (Do Business As). I am looking for liability insurance for my business for wedding and events. They asked me if I was doing any other type of work currently. My reponse was that yes I am involved in being cameraman for one project and editor for another. I have not signed a contract or getting paid for any of these projects, simply volunteer. They came back stating that if they were to insurance me, I as an invidividual would no longer be able to be part of any project or post anything of my personal stuff on youtube. I understand that they are trying to protect themselves and that they are insuring me personally I guess since its a DBA. Has anyone else come upon this problem? I see many videographer put their stuff up on vimeo, youtube etc.""
How much is Car Insurance for a 16 year old?
I'm 16 year old guy, I have a 2004 Pontiac Grand AM sedan, I get good grades in school, about how much would it cost monthly?""
Insurance: Get car fixed?
On Friday, I was rear-ended by a 2000 Mitsubishi Montero Sport. I got some minor damage done to my 2004 Mazda 3s. My bumper has scratches and a dimple-- which really isn't noticeable. The car has 100,000 and I'm debating whether or not to get it fixed. I am thinking of taking the insurance money to pay off debt. Should I or should I get the car fixed? Will I get into trouble if I use the money to pay off debt?""
Can the auto insurance company pay me directly and not pay body repair shop?
So about 3 weeks ago some guy backed into my car and it was his fault... His insurance company said take my car to a body shop repair and they will pay the repair shop only.. I wanna take my car to different shops and get few estimates and have the insurance company pay me.. I wanna decide weather to fix the car or keep the cash (maybe sell my car and get a better one)... It's my car and I have the title for it.. Why should the damn insurance company control what to do with own my car or control how the repair process goes!!! it's a 1995 nissan 240sx... Please tell me if I can make the insurance company to write me a check. thanks!
Health Insurance Options?
If I move out of my parents house can I remain on their health insurance (In Massachusetts)? I am currently on my parents health insurance and I plan to move out but I work part time and the health insurance my work offers is around 500 dollars a month.. which I simply cannot afford. If I can not remain on their health insurance does anyone know of any other alternatives?
Will my car insurance represent me in getting claim from other person's car insurance company?
Wife got in accident with teenage girls that was at fault. Other driver had insurance, and I'm dealing with them, but because they say my car is totalled as its older and not worth a lot, they offered me some money, but when I go to buy a similar car online, I see I'm short a few thousand. They are being a bit difficult and have my car at a lot ( I know mistake but they said they only were going to look at it, now its gone). I don't have a lot of pull but will complain as much as I possibly can - was on phone for nearly hour today. Question: Do you think that my insurance company will help me get money from the other insurance company of the at-fault party? I have not contacted them yet.""
Whats the cheapest car insurance for full coverage?
Whats the cheapest car insurance for full coverage?
Best car insurance for 16 y.o. boy that is getting his license?
Cheapest car insurance for the coverage you get? discounts for grades?
Jeep Wrangler Sahara insurance?
I am a 16 year old female... I want a 2004 Jeep Wrangler 4x4 Sahara as my first car. My mom seems to think the insurance is too high. Can anyone tell me whether the insurance on it would be super high or give me an average number for insurance? Would it be cheaper on a smaller car? thanks .xx
Affordable Health insurance in CA ?
I'm looking to buy health insurance in CA. my income is 10,000$ a year and because i only work part time. i applied for Medical few months ago through welfare office, but my case worker was really mean he was asking for a lot of documents in order to approve my application and every time i go to the welfare office they make me wait for 4 hours.so i decided to look for health insurance through Obama care website but i found that planes that cost 100$ and below doesn't cover even 30% of the medical expenses. any ideas about getting affordable health insurance in CA with good coverage ??? Thank you""
Car insurance more expensive for younger drivers?
In the UK we have a little piece of legislation under the European Convention on Human Rights, which gives us freedom from discrimination. I know that a lot of young drivers are inexperienced and more eager on the roads, but what about the careful ones? Is it not a form of stereotypical discrimination for car insurance companies to charge more for younger drivers, and older ones for that matter?""
Insurance for 1987 jeep wrangler?
Just wondering how much you pay for insurance if you have something like an 87' wrangler. Don't give me the just go to this site and get a quote. , I'd just like some numbers please ;)""
Do you have health insurance?
if so, how much is it per month?? How old are you?? what kind of deducatble do you have?? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance and how you might pay any medical costs.""
What is the best car insurance company out there today?
I'm gonna get a car soon and I'm having difficulty picking an exact car insurance company to insure my car so I just wanted to read others opinion on what car insurance they think is the best.....if availabe tell me the pros & cons....
Does anyone know Proximately how much a P.I.P car insurance with come out for a 22 year old..?
With 4 year driving record? thanks
Classic car insurance for 17 year olds?
currently looking for cheap car insurance for escort xr3i. Because of my age this is almost impossible but I was wondering if it is posible to be a named driver for classic car insurance on a parents policy. most classic insurers say drivers must be over 25. is there anywhere I could do this ?
tennessee farmers insurance group
tennessee farmers insurance group
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/affordable-health-insurance-plans-ky-william-brown/"
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