megumi x reader arranged marriage au but make it the scene from princess monoke where you've got your knife to his throat, except tears are running down your face. you should kill him, and yet as he lays in the grass in front of you, dark blue eyes watch you with nothing but tenderness. as calloused hands reach out to cup your face. nimble fingers smooth away the tears that trickle from your eyes. your hand is shaking. both of you choose to ignore it.

"you're beautiful," he tells you, and the knife drops from your hand harmlessly into the grass of the meadow. you're sitting on his chest, pinning him down. it must hurt by now, and yet his other hand reaches to steady your body, warm assurance resting heavy on your hip.

your trembling hand reaches for the knife again. you know he sees it, but makes no move to stop you. he can see the question in your eyes, fragile and terrified.

"if i were to die at your hands, i can think of no better way to go," he tells you, and as you pull your hands to your face to sob bitterly into them, he sits up. megumi tugs you towards him, tucking your face into the curve of his collarbone as you weep.

"please trust me. i'll take care of you," he promises earnestly. he presses a single tender kiss to your forehead when you gaze tearily up at him.

"i can't," you hiccup. "i-"

"i know," megumi tells you, holding you close, because he does. even through the stubborn anguish, he's never stopped watching. you're beautiful when ichor splatters against the wall from your blade, as red as the blood you manipulate through your veins. you're beautiful when he noticed the pain in your eyes that one time the barista asked for his number in the cafe near the tokyo station. you're beautiful as you demurely wear the kimono your family picked out for you to meet naoya zenin, which clashes fiercely with the hatred in your eyes. at this point he can't tell who you hate more. he hopes it's naoya.

(he thinks of the way he struggled to swallow, to breathe, when he saw you in that kimono. he dreams that you let him take it off you as he kisses every scar on your skin.)

"you can't," you're trying to tell him, saltwater clinging thickly to your eyelashes. "i'd rather die, megumi."

"i know," he repeats, tilting your chin up with his hand so you can see the serious look in his eyes. the zenins wanted to cage you, keep you as a shell of yourself, reduced down nothing more than a mother at best. megumi wants to set you free.

(even if you hate him? even if he'll never be able to tell you he loves you, forever doomed to a loveless union, a marriage only by name and nothing else?)

red ichor. iridescent tears. moonlight, and the dark of night. you are the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. he knows you're the most beautiful thing he'll ever see.

"i know," megumi says, one last time. his heart catches in his throat. selfishly, he pulls you closer, taking in the scent of your perfume, and the shampoo you always insist on buying from kyoto. the moon shines on, and for a moment, he allows himself to wish.

someday, i'll tell you how i truly feel. but for now, please, just stay by my side.

i currently have a half-baked theory about alastor…

ok so in the finale, he said that he wants freedom, meaning he has been restricted in some way. but as far as we’ve seen and can tell, he is basically free to do as he wishes. and of course there’s the theory with lilith being the one owning his soul, which he might have traded away to gain such insane amounts of power. but what has he ever done that didn’t seem to be in his best interest?

charlie.

yea, yea, i hear you and your sassy clips of him saying he’s helping the hotel simply for boredom’s sake and that he enjoys watching people try to do something meaningful but then fail in the process but! that would imply that he’d done so before, but we have never, not once, ever heard that he even dabbled in such a thing. (and don’t you dare try to tell me that he actually cares about charlie, the man is the most manipulative, sadistic little mf i’ve ever seen, and that’s saying something because i’ve seen miraculous ladybug and hate liela rossi as much as anyone else.) the only things we know about his past is that he appeared in hell very suddenly with lots of power, he toppled countless overlords overnight, and his radio podcast killed tons of demons. nothing of this has to do with other beings in hell trying to make it better (as i highly doubt any of those overlords had good intentions since they were, well, overlords). but he doesn’t seem the type to do things meaninglessly, he always has ulterior motives.

but then if his excuses of entertainment are as flimsy as i’m making them out to be then why would he ever help charlie? well, i think that brings us back to lilith. it’s far from a rarely-noticed detail that the length of alastor and her’s disappearances were for the same amount of time and while we know that lilith spent that time in heaven (if that even is lilith, but idk enough about that theory so i’m just gonna assume that it’s her and that she’s been in heaven the whole time), we don’t have a smack-dab CLUE as to what alastor was up to during his vacay. then he just shows up out of nowhere, at the idealistic princess of hell’s doorstep of all places.

well, i’ve had a sneaking suspicion for a while that lilith’s deal (at least part of it), in exchange for his power, was to help charlie in some way. i’m thinking that’s why he seemed so torn-up about how he almost ‘died for his friends’. he doesn’t care for any of them (except maybe nifty but i think that’s just bonding over shared mania (i think rosie (and maybe zestial) is the only one he truly, honestly cares about, but i get the feeling that even that relationship is pretty business-based)).

we have no idea what lilith is like, we have absolutely zero characterization of her except for what charlie explains about her in episode 1, that she’s passionate and hardworking and stubborn and independent—qualities that charlie mostly has in abundance. so i would say that she’s cared about charlie this whole time but due to whatever is keeping her in heaven, she can’t help her, except that lilith seems a little too malevolent to care about charlie’s hotel. why would she? she fell in love with a dreamer who shared her rebellious heart and for this, she was the first human soul cast into hell. she has never had any kind of reason as to why she would ever want to go to heaven, or anyone else for that matter (as she did work to make hell into the semi-civil place it is now). and we have no idea how close she and charlie were before she left (i suspect we’ll learn more about that in season 2), so we can’t assume that she’ll just support charlie, whatever her aspirations may be. so i honestly have no idea as to why lilith would enlist alastor to help charlie, but i am fairly convinced that this is the case of what’s happened.

thoughts?

my sister's boyfriend asked me to discreetly find a time that my dad is free for A Talk and I feel like I've been given a huge secret mission. he was clearly trying to be cool and subtle about it so I just was like sure thing I can do that I won't say anything :) but. aaaaAAAAAAAA

not the emperor asking if the son he neglected all these years blames him for doing so 😭😭

i feel like i've seen this question being asked in another drama (i don't remember which one) but it's a similar situation where the "sick" son helps the emperor out with some court affair and the emperor is impressed and asks that question

it's so funny bc what is the son gonna say?? yes i think you're the worst dad ever but i've gotten used to it now so just gimme the throne bitch????

ofc not,, he's gonna say, "no dad i don't blame you bc ik you've been busy with court affairs" like a good, obedient, throne-wanting son

and then the emperor is gonna sigh out of relief bc thank fuck he doesn't have to take responsibility for being a shitty father

Hello everyone!

I was born in Germany.

Esslingen Germany.

Can I speak German?

No.

I'm so sorry mother.

You know how I said I sat down and did my Rosetta Stone lessons for the day?

All lies.

I was too busy watching MLP episodes reupload on YouTube.

Sorry I can't speak German but at least I know a bunch of MLP facts, brony lyrics, and fan theories.

I'm sure those will be useful in the future.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

jeeesus fuck the longevity records i have access to say i'm at 9.5 years fulltime?? i could be done in six months???????

GUYS BY SOME WEIRD MIRACLE THE REFUND PROCESSED DIRECTLY INTO MY BANK AND ITS FINALLY MINE ....ITS ALSO UNUSED NEW IN BOX THE WAIT IS OVER

I'm just saying..

Carmilla would take her responsibility as Carmi & Charlie's godmother very, very seriously. Not to mention that Lilith would love the olive branch of inviting Sinners in to be such a vital importance to the Morningstars, and what more perfect choices than the oldest Overlord, Zestial, and one of the most level-headed Overlords in the City, Carmilla, who also happens to be a mother? Both are very logic-oriented folk, sound, civil, who seek to keep Heaven off their damned doorstep.

Carmilla and Zestial really fit in as the quiet Godparents for the Throne. It fits wonderfully actually ksdfkasdf. I love that a lot.

I know Carmilla was hurting with those two when the news broke of the Incident. I know she was there at the Palace the first moment she was able, and Zestial likely in tow. Keeping their distance from the raging and fiery, grieving King, but being informed of Carmi's 'death' by Lilith, who would tell them that all they had left now was Charlotte.

Carmilla being this unwavering presence in Charlie's life, but both not exactly seeing eye-to-eye due to the fact that Carmilla is the holy weapons dealer, but there is probably no doubt in how grounding and helpful she can be, especially after Lilith vanishes, and Carmilla becomes a somewhat regular person in Charlie's life, perhaps?

ugh, I just. UGH. I LOVE THE IDEA A LOT.

there is actually so little holding me back from starting to plan a bachelor cosplay right now

Breaking: Random YouTube Comment Gives Better Candide Analysis Than Guy Who Did Whole Podcast Episode On It

sooo. . . I finished six of crows xd

everyone welcome the new blorbos :DDD

Movie Meme 🎥

post seven comfort movies and tag seven people

I was tagged by @faiataka <3

Homeward Bound: the ultimate film! as in I sob everytime when Sassy goes down the waterfall and Shadow comforts Chance, everytime Chance tries to get Shadow to believe he can climb out of the mud pit and everytime Shadow’s boy gives up hope. It’s the movie of all movies tbh

Pride and Prejudice (2005): I’ve been watching this one since I was seven, I have the entire thing painfully engraved on my psyche, and nothing beats “what excellent boiled potatoes” as a conversation starter

Clueless: idk, 90s films and fashion are pretty cool

Frozen/Frozen 2: they mean so much to me, and also like I’m a sucker for a good sibling arc

The Mark of Zorro (1940): another one I’ve been watching since I was very little, before I knew batman I knew this version of Zorro (and then the black and white show! My fav Diego by far)

Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe: it’s just so perfect and the Pevensie’s and symbolism are all well constructed, I love the way they formatted Narnia and of course just based on me writing not one but two biblical symbolism metas on rnm you guys probably know it’s a half special interest

The Nightmare Before Christmas: the vibes! Also, the style is beautiful and just the soundtrack really

no pressure tags @ajna-eye-cogitations @thesquidkid @pleasantfanartist @beautifulcheat @ladynox @maeglinthebold @first-kanaphan

a dream only life can restore

The thing about guilt was that it was all consuming—it never went away.

It lurked underneath his skin, was injected into his bloodstream, rooted deep into his heart, prepared to consume it at any moment.

Yuuji harbored a lot of guilt—from small, embarrassing things he did as a child to his grandfather’s death, guilt was like a ghost that watched over him. An old friend.

Foolishly, or naively, he believed that guilt wouldn’t be too abundant as a sorcerer—he was saving people, after all.

[or: yuuji feels guilty for pretending to be dead and he, megumi, and nobara are a family

☾3,100 words | itafushi + nobara☀︎

a late entry for @itadoriweek22 2​ day six: guilt

big shoutout to @beachytablecloth​ for beta-reading for me! you were a huge help <3 

anw here's how the mayoi 7 mysteries tour can still win-

Random doodle, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I gotta do this reading thingy, but I'm getting easily distracted (since I don't have the book so I'm using a pdf, but my computer being opened just gives me easy access to distractions... example? well im here rn aren't I?), and I'm running out of time cus I had 3 months to do this but I didn't have the pdf in June, I procrastinated in July, and now August is here...

...there's also the fact that I have to annotate for each chapter, but the book has an excessive amount of chapters...

...Though I'm not sure if it really is, I believe this might be burnout

ok if seasons work the same in mlp as they do in the real world then twilights been in ponyville for like two years now