#i'm so out of it fucken rip
Note
what would be your ocs' voicelines be like when the mc has reached a certain intimacy level? (also it's so fucken hard tryna increase their intimacy omg barbatos is my highest n he's only at 18 and i'm alrd DYING out here)
surprise guest interactions + intimacy calls
Featuring: Azra, Karasu, Zekhan
CW: gn!Reader. NSFW (the intimacy calls section). Contains flirting, suggestive content, phone sex.
A/N: Seriously, my fav bias is so obvious when it comes to the intimacy rankings. I have five characters in NB with intimacy in the single-digits. lol Speaking of bias, Karasu and Zee got some extra love in this.
AZRA
Prefers: Glass of Aged Demonus
Also likes: Spicy Rainbow Pizza, Comfort Candy, Backstabbing Sandwich
Surprise Guest Dialogue (max hearts):
1-3x: "I didn't expect you to be so bold."
Final: “I'd like to get to know you better, but perhaps we should go somewhere more private first.”
KARASU
Prefers: Hell's Kitchen Mean Greens Salad
Also likes: Family Pack of Sushi, Barbatos's Tea, Black Coffee of Melancholy
Surprise Guest Dialogue (max hearts):
1-3x: "Oh, is this for me? You're too kind."
Final: "Thinking about you distracts me from my work, but I don't think I mind at all."
ZEKHAN
Prefers: Madame Devian's Hellberry Milkshake
Also likes: Princess's Poison Apple, Human World Cheeseburger, Black Coffee of Melancholy
Surprise Guest Dialogue (max hearts):
1-3x: "Have you been watching me? Interesting."
Final: "It's rare that someone manages to surprise me the way you do.”
AZRA — Intimacy Phone Call (Rank 5)
Asmo dials Azra’s number on your D.D.D. and asks you to let him know that you’ll both be attending the club’s event that weekend. A dial tone rings until the call drops - he doesn’t answer.
KARASU — Intimacy Phone Call (Rank 5)
He doesn’t call you. He sends you a message (through KARASU OS) to remind you about the exchange program student satisfaction survey you haven’t completed yet.
ZEKHAN — Intimacy Phone Call (Rank 5)
He calls and introduces himself as The Fall’s manager, then he asks why you have been attempting to contact Azra using his personal number.
You tell him that Asmo gave you his number.
He grumbles quietly about Asmo’s lack of decorum and acknowledges your response before promptly bidding you goodnight and hanging up.
AZRA — Intimacy Phone Call (Max Rank)
The muffled sound of music filters through the phone when you pick up his call. He's impatiently awaiting for you to arrive for a party at The Fall, and he casually asks about the outfit Asmo designed for you. His deep voice is punctuated with soft purrs and a sultry drawl.
"I should let you finish getting ready, love. I look forward to seeing you in your new outfit, but I can't promise it will stay on for long once you get here."
"Asmo asked me to remind you to try not to rip this one."
"He should stop designing things with so many delicate lacings and buttons then."
KARASU — Intimacy Phone Call (Max Rank)
He calls you one evening when you're getting settled into the guest room provided to you. A last-minute summons to the Sorcerer's Society has interfered with your weekend plans together. The disappointed whine that laced his voice earlier in the day has shifted into something much more needy, and as you settle into bed, you can hear the faint sound of rustling sheets.
"Is your room comfortable? It's the least they could do for causing such an inconvenience for you."
The sulky tone in his voice makes you smile. "It's good enough until I can come home tomorrow."
"I can hardly wait," he admits quietly.
What follows is a seemingly typical conversation about nothing in particular. Despite his innocent questions about what you’re doing and what you’re thinking about, the words feel charged, like there’s a current of heat laced into his voice. The longer you speak with him over the phone, his tone slowly thickens with unabashed desire that courses through his veins like honey.
It's not long until he starts to stutter over his words, and his breath hitches suddenly with a soft groan. You can't help the smile that tugs at your lips when you realize what he's doing. These late-night phone calls tend to have a certain effect on him, and it appears that tonight is no different.
“Are you doing what I think you’re doing?” you ask innocently even though you already know the answer.
“You know that I—I can’t help it,” he admits breathlessly. “I miss you so much.”
He exhales shakily into the receiver but if you listen closely, you can hear the faint, rhythmic sound of slick skin-against-skin.
"I miss you too," you admit even as your cheeks grow warm and your free hand dips beneath the covers and over the curve of your belly. "Would you like to know exactly how much I missed you?"
"Oh, yes—" he gasps, sucking air through his teeth with a soft hiss. On the other end of the call, the bedframe creaks quietly from the weight of his movements. "P-please?"
ZEKHAN — Intimacy Phone Call (Max Rank)
It starts with a text conversation like most evenings do when he has to work.
ZEKHAN: It’s quiet here tonight. Tuesday nights are slow as it is, but there aren’t any parties scheduled either.
➤ I'm glad you called. I miss you.
You can annoy Azra if you’re bored, that's always fun!
ZEKHAN: I miss you too, but as much as I enjoy our chats, I wish we could do more than talk.
➤ It’s a shame you’re stuck at work all night.
Behave, mister.
ZEKHAN: Fortunately, I have you to distract me. You should start by telling me what you're wearing right now, bunny.
The Devilsilk pajamas Asmo bought me.
I’m still in my RAD uniform.
➤ Wouldn’t you like to know? ;)
<ZEKHAN is calling you.>
“How brave of you to tease me like that, my dear.”
“I would do more than that if I could. Why don't we have dinner tomorrow night and I can make it up to you?"
"I don't think I can wait that long."
"It's not like we have much choice. You can't just leave work for a quickie."
"Who says I can't? I doubt anyone will even notice I'm gone."
"I don't know...it's not very professional."
"In most circumstances I would agree with you, but I've decided to take my break early tonight and now I can spend the next half hour being as unprofessional as I want. I'll be there shortly.”
“Not to sound ungrateful, but thirty minutes hardly seems worth the effort.”
“Is that a challenge, bunny? Because I promise I'll have you coming for me in less than ten.”
return to: oc masterlist | obey me masterlist
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[12:32 P M] - Haitani Ran
I'm sorry for ghosting you all, I have been having the hardest time trying to break out of my writers block for the two on-going stories. So, here's what has been occupying in my head rent free - Haitani Ran.
Warning: 18+ mentions of gunshot wound; Ran being Ran; soft Ran; smut; protected to unprotected sex(oops); mentions of pregnancy; mentions of Shinichiro's death
Note: nothing edited. I've been caught up in some Ran stories and couldn't get this off. I promise I have not abandoned the other two stories!
Second part
Haitani Ran knew he was in love with Y/l Y/n the moment she hovered over him, pressing her small hand against his shoulder to stop the bleeding.
He got shot; he fucken got shot at.
Having experienced gunshot wounds in the past, he had encountered moments of peril. Yet, as he glanced up and beheld an angelic figure hovering above him, a profound sense of certainty gripped him. Ran thought this was it; his sins had finally caught up to him, and this beautiful angel was here to take him away; if she were the one taking him to hell, he would gladly go.
Or was she taking him to heaven?
Especially when she ripped off her shirt, only wearing her black tank top, and used the material to press down on his shoulder. The pain he felt earlier is gone as his eyes gaze at her cleavage exposed to him.
Would she grant him one last wish? To allow him to smush his face against her tits?
Ran had a smile on his face, his mind floating away in his imagination. Amid the moment, he feels his blood rushing down south.
“Hey.” The angel speaks, or was it the grim reaper? She hovers over him, her lengthy hair hanging, making her look even more exquisite. “Stay with me.”
His eyes slowly droop, “you’re so beautiful…” and he reaches a hand to touch her face. His blood accidentally smeared against her cheek, and he drops his hand, “sorry, love….”
“You’re fine… just stay with me here… I’ll get you fixed up, and you’ll be good as new again… what’s your name?”
“Whatever you want it to be,” he grins at her cute and confused look, “but you can call me… daddy.” He lets out a chuckle when her lips curve into a smile. Did she like that?
Hell, if he hasn’t already accepted death, he would gladly welcome death in exchange if she called him daddy.
She smiled, shaking her head at his delirious nonsense, “you’re funny even as you’re bleeding to death, aren’t you? I think we will be great friends.”
She looked away before he could reply, his mouth lagging with this stupid, careless gunshot wound. He wanted badly to grab her chin, to keep her eyes only on him. Only on him, but he couldn’t feel his hands anymore; they were so heavy. She asked someone nearby what his name was.
“Ran,” her angelic voice calls his sweet and heavenly name. Would it still sound the same when he’s buried deep inside her, filling her up?
Goodness, he wanted to fuck her right here, have her ride him to his death.
He wanted to cum so badly – cum inside of her.
She looks like she would be a perfect mom for his baby. He could knock her up and leave his heir behind…
Leave his legacy behind.
He’d accept that.
“Ran, what’s your favorite color?”
He closes his eyes and hums, “lilac….”
“How old are you?”
“However old you want me to be….” He had a gut feeling she was older than him. She was too perfect to be his age or younger.
She looks so mature… so ripe… so beautiful.
Since puberty, Ran has known and has always been attracted to older women. They were just better… they were his cup of tea.
She mumbled something he couldn’t hear or understand. He was getting tired, eyes slowly drooping closed.
“Is he all right?” He heard a male voice ask.
Mikey?
“Yeah, he’ll be all right.” His angel answered.
Sleep was slowly taking over, and he didn’t want her to disappear the next time he opened his eyes.
With every ounce of energy he had left, his hands reached up and cupped her breasts, filling his large palms and giving them a handful squeeze.
Satisfaction and happiness were written all over his face.
“Ran,” Mikey’s voice is dangerously low, “I don’t care that you’re hurt… get your fucken hands off my sister-in-law right now. ”
The last of his juice power depleted at the three words, sister-in-law?
.
.
Ran hasn’t felt embarrassed in a long time.
When he made his recovery and remembered what happened…
He couldn’t remember the last time he wanted to dig up a hole and hide in it.
Especially when the angel he remembers was staring at him with a smile that made his cock hard as a rock the moment he woke up.
Mikey introduced her to the team a few days later. The annoyance on his face was clear as day as everyone gawked at her.
It was rare to see a woman on the team.
Y/n is dangerously beautiful.
He was one of the many gawking at her from the side.
He was still flabbergasted that she saved his life.
He owed her his now.
With that, Mikey made it very clear that she was off limit, shooting a silent glare at Ran specifically.
Mikey announced, “she is someone important to me. That means she is someone important to Bonten. Protect her with your life.”
Sanzu Haruchiyo might be number two, but Y/n was number one-and-a-half.
She was the fiancée of his late brother, Sano Shinichiro. They had planned to wed a month from the day he died precisely. Y/n remained part of the Sano family regardless, and Mikey was not going to discard her, and he had no intention to when she was the only remaining family member left after Emma’s death.
She was the older sister he never had.
Ran knew nothing of her existence.
Sure enough, the reason for that was that she had been overseas working as a medical doctor and had only returned at Mikey’s request.
She will be the doctor for the executive members.
Ran wanted to have a physical examination at this moment.
.
.
If Ran couldn’t have her…
Well… he had no choice but to keep himself distracted from her.
But he couldn’t.
He only came to the main house for executive meetings. Every executive member had their own room, but no one wanted to stay there since it was hidden in the mountains, away from their work or territory. Like most other executive members, Ran had his own condo and sanctuary when he needed a mental, physical, and emotional break from reality.
But lately, he’s been finding himself at the main house.
Because that’s where Y/n was staying.
He had only discovered she was staying there alone after a last-minute visit to the main house. It was either the Gods testing him or on his side. He was on that side of town, and it was late; he figured he would crash for the night and return to work in the morning.
He honestly had no idea she was staying at the main house until he walked in, and the smell of delicious food hit his nostrils.
Y/n had her back towards him, humming at the stove, and for a second there, his life flashed…
Ran imagined how coming home to a wife making dinner would be.
Loud music was blasting, and she had not heard or felt his presence until her instincts kicked in and she turned around; her eyes widened when she found someone standing behind her, only to smile immediately when it was just him.
She greeted him with a smile, making his cock twitch. “Just in time, come eat.”
Ran learned that she spent her day caring for the house and contemplated picking up a part-time job, but there was nothing nearby that she could work at. She also needed a position where she could immediately step away to tend to a situation.
“Mikey won’t let me leave unless I have a bodyguard.” She chugged her beer, something he found extremely sexy.
“You can come to stay with me? I have extra rooms.” He leaned back against his chair only because his pants were getting too tight. He would have to sit for a bit longer until his cock settled down. He sees the lightbulb in her head go off; she is considering it.
Was it a good idea?
That meant he would have a more challenging time controlling himself. That also meant he would have to be quieter and not moan her name loudly when jerking himself off in the shower.
“I might have to consider that,” she smiles, “but I don’t want to bother you. I don’t know how long it’ll take for me to be able to get a place under my name since I gave up my Japanese citizenship.”
“You can stay with me however long you want.”
He came practically every night, having dinner with her.
Just the two of them.
Every night.
It was hard to leave, especially when he discovered that her room was right next to his; they were the only two on the left wing of the house.
They would say goodnight and good morning to each other.
Ran was finding himself falling harder each day and night.
She would cook and clean, keeping herself occupied, and he swears by the Gods above that her face lights up when he enters the house.
Of course, it was only short-lived until everyone started returning because it meant a home cook meal from Y/n. It became a routine that every Sunday, it was a fucken family-executive dinner.
Y/n was the mother hen of the house, cooking and cleaning and taking care of everyone, and it was pissing Ran off that everyone intruded on his private time with her.
The conversation of her moving in with him was swept under the rug; he didn’t know if it would happen anymore.
He walks out of the shower, wraps a towel around his hips, and leaves the bathroom when another body collides with him.
His arms instantly wrapped around the small body, steadying them; instantly, he knew it was Y/n. She was the only other person on this side of the house.
Ran indulged himself, even if it was two seconds – he got to hold her, and she felt wonderful in his arms.
She was small, a head shorter than him, and he wanted to devour her.
She gasped, and he looked down at her, confused, and that’s when he realized his towel had slipped, pooling at his ankles.
His cock was still hard even after he’s jerked off. “Fuck…”
Y/n looks up at him, cheeks pinkish, “Ran….”
Ran cups her face, no longer caring. “Please Y/n… let me kiss you…” he never felt so desperate before.
His eyes widen when she cups his face, pulling him down to meet her halfway; her lips press against him in a soft kiss before she pulls away slightly.
“Satisfied?”
He blinks, dumbfounded. “Again – do it again… I wasn’t – ready.”
She pushes herself onto the tip of her toes and kisses him again, this time deeply.
His hands drop from her face, and he holds her waist, pulling her against his body. He takes the invitation when her mouth opens and slips his tongue to dance with hers.
Y/n wraps her arms around his neck, pressing her chest against his, mouth moving hungrily over his.
“Ran,” she breathes, breaking the kiss, but he shifts his mouth to her jaw, nipping and kissing down to her throat. “We…”
He didn’t want her to tell him to stop. Or tell him this was a mistake; he’ll do anything to convince her that this is right and worth it.
“Bed – bedroom…” she utters when he nips the spot along her neck, where he feels her pulse beating fast like his.
Abandoning the towel, he lifts her easily, making her wrap her legs around his torso as he carries her across the hall to his room.
He sets her back on her feet; his forehead pressed against hers. He finally catches his breath, “you… sure this is what you want?” One hand touches her cheek, thumb rubbing her lower lip.
Her eyes are wavering, and he panics – if she had second thoughts, he would let her go.
It’ll kill him, but he’ll let her go.
She tilted her head towards him until the tip of their nose touched, and she closed her eyes, whispering softly, “Ran… I haven’t – I haven’t done this since Shin… I haven’t wanted anyone but him, but… God help me… I want you so fucken bad.” Her eyes open, looking at him straight in the eyes, “I want you, Ran, or so tell me to leave now….”
His lips curve into a smile; he reaches behind him and twists the lock on the doorknob. “You’re fucken crazy if you think I’ll tell you to leave; I was going to tell you to tell me to leave.”
He backs her towards his bed, grabbing the ends of her shirt and pulling it off.
“But this is your room.”
She was moving back when he stopped, seeing her naked underneath her shirt. She smirked at him and proceeded to push her shorts down her legs.
Y/n stood completely naked six feet away from him, waiting for him. “I hope you weren’t expecting a supermodel body….”
Two strides and Ran closed the distance between them; his mouth met hers to kiss her stupid – for thinking and assuming the worst of herself.
He pushes her down onto his bed, pushing her legs so he can settle in between. “I’ll show you,” he says between kisses, “your body here is what I’ve been dying to taste… to have… and,” he nips her lower lip, earning a whimper from her. His cock jolted; he couldn’t wait to hear her whimper when he finally fucks her. “I never expected you to have a supermodel body.”
Ran pushes himself onto his knees, admiring her glorious naked body that will be beneath him shortly.
But first, he palms her tits, groaning at the feeling of skin-to-skin.
At last, doing what he wanted to do the first time he met her, he smoother his face against her chest.
Her soft giggles were new to his ears, and he loved it.
“I wanted to do this the first time I met you,” he says, pressing both mounds against his face before taking a puckered nipple into his mouth. He teased the sensitive nipple before releasing it and doing the same for the other side.
“Ran,” Y/n moans, “enough… I want you.”
He would have to wait a bit to pay ultimate attention to her tits later; now, he needed to be inside of her.
“Condom…” he mumbled out loud. He really didn’t want to leave between her legs but rolled away to the draw by his bed, blindly fumbling around until he found one. He frowns when she moves from where he left her to find her in the middle of his bed. Crawling towards her, he used his teeth to tear the packet, pulling the condom out to roll it on his aching cock.
He resettles himself between her legs. “I’ll try… to go easy.”
He watched her hands rub along her slit and circle her clit. “I’m not fragile, Ran.”
He groans, “don’t – don’t say that. I don’t want to scare you away…” he rubs the tip of his cock against her slits, “if you can’t tell, Y/n, this isn’t going to be a one-time thing… I probably should have told you that but too late now. No turning back.” He slips the bulbous head past her folds, feeling the tightness. “Relax, baby…”
Ran didn’t know if she liked those endearing names, but he didn’t just say it to anyone.
He kept his eyes on her; this was about her. Her eyes were closed, teeth clenching down on her lower lip. He was about to stop pushing, not even making past the entrance of her divine walls, when she widened her legs, pushing her pelvis towards him.
Ran fell onto one elbow when the tip of his cock came in contact with her soft, warm walls. He was going to nut into the condom any second now before he could even fit his whole cock in.
“More,” she whispers, “more, Ran.”
He sheaths his entire length inside her until he can go no further. Her chest arches off the bed, and he takes this moment to allow her to adjust.
There are many things Ran takes pride in; one of them is the size of his cock. He knows he’s big. Large. Top of the line.
And he knew how to use it well too.
He rolls his hips slowly, and a soft moan escapes her lips.
Her legs shift alongside his torso, accepting him deeper. “Ran… Ran, you feel so good….”
His pace quickens, and he drops his weight onto her, caging her in and beneath him.
Forever, if he had it his way.
Fuck, he wasn’t ever going to have enough.
Y/n cups his face, bringing his mouth to hers in a soft kiss.
His hips pounded into her, lewd skin-on-skin slapping echo his room with their noise.
Ran has never had such an intimate kind of sex before. It was always a fuck. Just sex.
He sounded crazy and knows he’s crazy… but this was more than just sex.
“Fuck… this is so good… so fucken good…”
Y/n nods her head, a moan echoing off her lips. “Ran… I’m so close….”
“Me too, baby….” One hand reaches between their bodies, and he rubs her sensitive nub, bringing her to the peak. “Cum, Y/n, cum for me baby…”
Her nails dig into his biceps, body shuddering in bliss. “Ran!”
Ran snaps his hips hard twice before stilling, shaking in his release. He groans her name hotly into her ear, squishing her to the mattress.
Her breath fans his ear, and he quivers again when he feels her hands feathering down his back.
Immediately, he lifts his weight off her so he’s not squishing her. “Sorry…” he shifts onto one elbow, running a hand through his hair.
He’s at a loss for words.
Usually, he leaves for the bathroom and cleans up, which is the cue for the woman to leave.
But he doesn’t want her to leave, let alone he doesn’t want to pull out yet.
Ran blushes at her gaze on him, “I hope… you’re okay.”
Her finger traces the Bonten insignia tattoo on his neck, then the tattoo on his shoulder and chest. “It was phenomenal, Ran.”
His heart was about to burst out of his chest.
“Ran,” she pulls him back, “I… I need to use the bathroom.”
“Oh, yes, sorry,” he sits back and then gets distracted by seeing them intimately connected.
And he feels his cock twitch.
He didn’t want to pull out.
“I promise… I’ll come back.” She assures with a smile.
How was she so perfect?
“Sorry…” he mutters, slowly withdrawing. He groans when he pulls out completely, instantly missing the tightness of her walls.
“Oh,” Y/n whispered, shifting herself onto her elbows, distracted.
They were both looking at the mess they made.
A real mess.
The condom… broke… torn as the tip of his cock was fully exposed.
His eyes shift to her wet pussy, and he swallows the lump in his throat at the sight of his cum oozing out.
Internally, a wave of panic surged through him. It wasn’t solely due to the intimate connection they had just shared but rather his apprehension about how she would respond. However, her laughter abruptly snapped him out of his daze; he found himself gazing at her, a perplexed expression adorning his face.
“Don’t worry; I’ll get the pill later.” She sits up and wraps a hand around his neck, pulling him in for a quick kiss. “Would it be so bad if I was to get pregnant, though?”
.
.
.
Tag: I know this isn't your usual Haikyuu... but I'm going to tag you anyways cause I miss ya'll.
@callmeraiderer @chaotic-fangirl-blog @eadyladlegard @wolffmaiden @idiotic-clown @jojowantstocry @erintaro @imnotjo @vicolangelo @chickflickjunkie @ebiharachan @mfreedomstuff @omissanitizerlol
#tokyo manji gang#tokyo manji revengers#tokyo revenger#ran haitani#ran haitani smut#ran haitani x reader#ran smut#ran fluff#ran scenarios#ran x y/n#mikey tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers#tokyo revenger ran#tokyo rev#tokyo revengers manga#tokyo revengers smut#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo rev x you#tokyo rev x reader#tokyo rev smut#tokrev#manjiro sano#takemichi hanagaki#mikey sano#rindou haitani#sanzu haruchiyo#kokonoi hajime#haitani ran x reader#ran x reader#ran x you
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Kloktober 2023 Day 6
Comedy or Tragedy
I'm primarily someone that loves both consuming and writing comedy but I have to say that Metalocalypse, besides being funny, is ripe with angst potential. Because of that, I struggled choosing one for this day. Eventually, I managed to come up with something…and here it is.
Hope you enjoy!
Toki clung to Skwisgaar, sobbing inconsolably on his shoulder. “No, it can’t ends like dat!” He hiccuped. “It amsn’t fair!”
Skwisgaar, though less emotionally overt, had tears in his eyes. “It ams…like dat…”
“No!” Toki yelled, banging on his own thighs. “No! Please!”
Skwisgaar watched him sadly, fighting off the tears.
“It can’ts…” Toki’s voice got lower. “I can’ts…No…No…”
Wiping his eyes, Skwisgaar patted him awkwardly. “It will be okays…eventuallskies…”
“But hows?” Toki insisted, his eyes red and cheeks wet. “Hows can it evers?” He buried his face in his hands. “Hows…”
Skwisgaar tried to speak, but his voice didn’t come out. He cleared his throat, voice broken when he talked. “You has to believes…One deys…”
“Hows can you be okays when you lost it alls?!!” Toki turned to Skwisgaar and the latter looked at him with so much despair in his eyes. “Oh, Skwisgaar…my hearts broken…” He sniffed.
“I knows…” Skwisgaar nodded slowly. “Never thoughts…dis could happens… toes us…” He rubbed his eyes, in an attempt to regain his composure, instead breaking down in front of Toki.
“Oh, no, Skwisgaar…” Toki cupped Skwisgaar’s face with worry.
“Everythingks ams so frails…” Skwisgaar looked to the side, distraught. “In da blinks of an eyes…it can goes away…”
Wordlessly, Toki wiped the tears off Skwisgaar’s face with his thumb. “Don’t cries…” He whispered, while crying himself.
Dark blue eyes met icy ones. “Toki…” Skwisgaar pleaded his name, like he was about to break into pieces.
“Skwisgaar…”
Pickles walked in with a bong and almost dropped it over the sight. “Whu….Whut is goin’ on here?!”
Toki turned to the voice, casually letting go of Skwisgaar. “Oh, Pickle!” He rubbed his nose. “We were watchings um, whats it calls…”
“Da Broker’s Mount Ann…” Skwisgaar sadly, drying his face with his shirt.
“The Brother’s Mob Plan…” Toki repeatedly wrongly, just as sad.
Pickles’ eyes went from the rolling credits on the TV, to Skwisgaar and Toki, to finally the DVD box on the table. Something seemed to click on his brain, because he sighed and went. “Ye mean…Brokeback Mounteen?”
“Ja, dat’s what we says.” Skwisgaar raised an eyebrow.
“Moidaface says it was a cows boy movies…” Toki explained, looking down pathetically. “We thoughts they would has horses and has gun fights…”
“Fuckingks Moidaface…” Skwisgaar cursed under his breath. “It was so fuckingks depresskings…”
“Ye guys are so fucken stoopid…” Pickles said, to no one in particular. “Who hasn’t heerd of Brokeback Mounteen?”
“He mades us watch a gay movies and cries about it!” Toki ignored him, getting progressively angry instead. “We should…We should kills him!”
“Ja!” Skwisgaar stood up in agreement. “He mades us gays! We amsn’t gays! Lets kill hims!”
“Uh, I think you are pretty ghey…” Pickles commented and took a bong rip before flopping on the couch. “I mean, ye were like-”
“Let’s go, Skwisgaar!” Toki decided, standing up too. “We can burns his dicks while he ams sleepings!”
“We cans drop a huge pianosk on his stupids, uglies dick!” Skwisgaar suggested, with a mischievous smirk.
“Yeah!” Toki cheered and they left, mumbling and cackling about the possible suffering they could inflict on Murderface.
Pickles watched them go with disbelief, a cloud of smoke surrounding him. “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, or somethin’.”
#kloktober2023#kloktober#metalocalypse#skwisgaar skwigelf#toki wartooth#skwistok#pickles the drummer#my writing#no beta we die like men etc
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SWERVE ACTUALLY TAGGED A REAL SHIBARI PLACE IN THE PICTURE TOO
CAN U GIVE ME LIKE A RANDOM NSFW HEADCANON ABOUT SWERVE IM THIRSTING BADLY FOR HIM 🤤🤤
Leather and Lace (18+)
Summary: Reader finds out about Swerves thing for Shibari and decides to add her own twist on it
Warnings: Shibari, oral (M receiving), P in V sex, orgasms, cream pie, pure dirty smut, 18 +
Main Masterlist
When I found out about Swerve's secret Shibari kink I was not surprised. Ever since that Texas death match with hangman, he had changed. He was obsessed with pain, he wanted to try new things in the bedroom, things I would have never done. I still couldn't believe he had me pour hot wax on his chest, wouldn't that hurt?! Anyway, I had a little surprise in-store for Swerve. I had invited him over for the evening and would have my way with him with my own form of Shibari. I would replace the thick ropes with pink silk ribbon. Why? I thought it would be cute, I would get to wrap him like a little present.
***
The moment Swerve stepped into my apartment I could tell he knew something was up. "You are adorable, you got me flowers!" I told Swerve as I greeted him with a kiss, grabbing the red roses from his hand, and placing them in a vase. "Yeah yeah, I know," he said blushing at my words. As I returned from the kitchen after placing the flowers in a vase Swerve disappeared. "Where did you go?" I called out "I'm in your room!" as I entered the room I found Swerve buried under a pile of plushes. "YOU'RE SITTING ON THEM!" I yelled, pushing Swerve out of the way. "Chill woman! How do you even function with all of these stuffed animals in here, no offence but you are literally 30" "Rude, and first of all you know they are here for decoration, I don't sleep with them. You are the only teddy bear I need. Also, you bought me half of these!" Just then I felt something hit me in the head. That bastard was starting a pillow fight. "Oh you're on Mr!" I said as I hit him back with a decorative pillow.
The two of us threw pillows at each other playfully, I got on top of Swerve, pinning him to the mattress so I could get a good shot at him. Just then the two of us locked eyes, and we both felt it. It was like we could read the other's minds, we needed each other and now. He kissed me passionately, the two of us tangled in each other, trying to remove our clothing as fast as possible. "I need you so fucken badly Y/n" Swerve whispered as my ear as he began to place sloppy kisses down my neck. "Wait," I told him as I pushed him off of me "Did I do something wrong, my love? I thought you wanted this?" Swerve said nervously, worry spread all over his face. "No, no, I do want this. I just wanted to try something new. I had it all planned out for later tonight" I could see the mysterious grin spread on his face.
I reached in the bottom drawer and pulled out a roll of pink silk. "What is that for?" Swerve asked curiously. "Well, I know you like shibari and I wanted to try my own twist on it. I don't like ropes, so I was thinking I could tie you up in pink ribbon!" "Pink ribbon? Are you serious?" "Yes! Do you know how strong silk is, it would be simular to the silk handcuffs you got me for my birthday" I could see the confusion on his face but also curiosity "Can I tie you up like a pretty present?" I asked him innocently "Let me be in charge, I will take good care of you!" "Anything for you my love"
Swerve's eyes were dark, filled with love and lust, this would be fun. I took my time, carefully straddling him as I tied the ribbon to his wrists, and then to the bedpost. I then took the remainder and created a Kriss Kross pattern of ribbon along both his arms and chest, making sure to tie a big bow above his navel. "Now would you look at that, don't you look so pretty! I wonder what cowboy would think if he saw you all tied up like this" "Watch it" "What are you gonna do about it? Do you know how tight I tied these, no way you could get out without ripping the bedpost off"
This was going to be fun
I placed delicate kisses from his neck all the way to his inner thighs. He was hard, his cock angry, precum spilling from the tip. I teased him, placing small kisses and kitten licks on his shaft before taking him in my mouth. I could feel Swerve try to get out of my restraints, I was internally thanking my mom for forcing me to be a Girl Scout, the only thing I remembered was how to tie some serious knots. "You're killing me Y/n" Swerve cried out above me in response to how slow I was going. It's not every day I had this man submitting to me, I wanted to take advantage of this moment. I increased my pace, working him until he was about to reach his release. "Please Y/n, this is not funny!" Swerve called out. "What? You can tease me but I can't tease you?" I then straddled Swerve, sinking down on him painfully slow until I bottomed out, taking a minute to compose myself before I began to ride him.
I selfishly fucked myself on him using him like he was a toy. I could feel Swerve's orgasm approaching "Don't even think about cumming, you cum when I say you do. Do you understand" "Yes mam!" I continued to fuck myself on him like my life depended on it, reaching between my thighs to play with my clit. I could feel Swerve trying to break free from the restraints to touch me, I was loving it. "I don't think I can hold it any longer Y/n" Swerve called out "Yes you can baby, just a little longer, I'm almost there," I told him as loosened the restraints on his hips, Swerve then began to thrust up into me, adding to deeper penetration. That sent me over the edge "Cum for me baby" Swerve and I came hard, the two of us sharing an intense orgasm. "Fuck, that was amazing, you need to do that more often!" Swerve praised.
Now I need to think of what to try next
#bullet clubs bitch#all elite wrestling#aew smut#aew#aew fanfiction#swerve strickland aew#swerve strickland oneshot#swerve strickland fic#swerve strickland imagine#swerve when i drive#swerve strickland smut#swerve strickland x reader#swerve strickland
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01.03 // guys I'm soooooo fuckening tired
Public transport in my city is striking, so I had to cycle to my orthopedics appointment and back on top of sleeping abysmally bad (essentially not at all) yesterday. The dramatically oversized park I cycled through was an entire vibe though! If I tell you it wiped me OUT.... 1½h nap, still tired, almost fell asleep at my work meeting, I'm taking bets now how well I'll sleep tonight! But I found out what's wrong with my wrist finally! The game night I went (cycled rip) to yesterday was fun and I'm meeting a friend for [insert hot beverage] tomorrow!
The mood right now is [squinting suspiciously at my life for going so well]
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Horror Villains and: What They Would Put in the Hat
(The 7 Minutes in Heaven hat)
This was pretty much inspired by This post by @your-mxnd-is-mxne ! ^^
Warnings: Cursing and gore (As in limbs being put in the hat)
Animal the Cannibal: A potato peeler. BE CAREFUL.
Baby Firefly: A cute scrunchie. Put it in your hair!! She thinks you'll look so cute ^^ If you don't have hair/its too short, you can put it in hers! ^^ (So basically you win everything)
Billy Loomis: A folded up poster for the local cinema's horror night. They're playing Psycho, The Birds and then Psycho 2 Back-To-Back.
Bo Sinclair: Little plyers. he never leaves home without them, so you better give them back! Play nice and he may use them on you *cough*
Bubba Sawyer: A pig femur... its not clean...
Candyman: A little leather bound journal with his poetry in it. If he likes you, maybe he'll read you some!!
Captain Spaulding: A pamphlet for his shop! He'd just fucken love to show you around.
Carrie White: A pencil. She wasn't sure and she didn't have a whole lot on her! she hopes that's okay ^^
Chop Top Sawyer: His sunnies! Not his wig, that's special. But you got his glasses! He even wants to see you put them on.
Chucky Lee Ray: He put his whole damn shoe in there. I mean, he's a doll. Why not? // If he's in his human form, though, maybe... a... condom...
BONUS for @your-mxnd-is-mxne because its their idea in the first place ^^ Daddy Hall- *cough* I mean Doc Halloran!: Bullet casing. Its, oddly enough, the only thing that was in his pockets?? 😅 After all he is only here to hunt Leslie- see if you can distract him, though.
Dr Suave: A pack of tooth floss from his pocket. He's a dentist, what do you expect from him?
Drayton Sawyer: The keys to the chilly van (Its all he had on him). He's gonna want them back.
Freddy Krueger: A scrap oh his sweater and it turns to dirty brown dust as soon as you see what it is.
Granny Boone: Buckman's initialed handkerchief.
Harper Alexander: A twig that's been widdled a whole bunch. It may snap in your hand- don't you worry, he don't mind ^^
Inkubus: Ripped piece of paper with a backwards K scribbled into it. You get ink stains on your fingers.
Jack Dante: An action figure! Probably He-Man or something. You can play with it for now but you're gonna give it back when he goes home.
Jason Voorhees: A chunk of moss. Its squishy and fresh.
Jedidiah Sawyer: A tie! He's a well dressed man and always brings an extra XD
Jennifer Check: Cherry Coke Chapstick! You know she's that super cool person who had all the branded soda flavours. And she may even apply some to you~
Jerry Dandridge: His scarf. And its cold- why don't you wear it for a while?~ He's very charming. And this is the man you're gonna get stuck in a closet alone with for nearly 10 minutes! Goodluck-
Leslie Vernon: His mask. He's gotta spread the word!! Make sure people know who he is! This felt like a marketing opportunity.
Lester Sinclair: That grizzly lookin' knife of his. Listen to him chat about it and he'll love you forever.
Luda Mae Hewitt: Wooden spoon. Her logic? If she goes in there with someone iffy she can beat them with it.
Max Grief: Cassette tape out of his car. He wasnt sure what to really put in, so, *shrug*
Mayor Buckman: Boone's initialed handkerchief (Yeahhhh, they're cute like that XD).
Mental Manny: Straw twisted and bent into the shape of some satanic symbol. You feel uncomfortable holding it. But oh, he wants you to have it now~~ A gift.
Michael Myers: Someone's ear.
Mickey Altieri: A snack. Like a cookie from a vending machine or a pack of 2 minute noodles. You can have it, no worries.
Midnight Man: The page with the names on it. ... wanna play a game?
Miss Quinn: Her hand mirror. Come on now, sweetheart!!~ We'll make you look pretty.
Monty Hewitt: A screwdriver. You got anything he can fix up rela quick? He doesn't mind, if it means he can get away from Hoyt for a bit.
Otis B. Driftwood: You don't wanna know. I'm not telling you. Put it down.
Pamela Voorhees: Her drivers licence. She was looking in her wallet and thought it was logical- plus she sure as hell wasn't putting in her polaroid of Jason.
Patrick Bateman: His card, of course. Its so damn crisp- you get a paper cut.
Pennywise: A horn! Honk honk!
Rocco the Clown: Some poor bastard's kneecap. Yes. A kneecap. And I still won't tell you what Otis put in the hat.
Roman Bridger: A very fancy pen. The kind thats like 50 dollars for one. It's for signing contracts but he likes to show off that he has it.
Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt Jr: 'His' sheriff's badge! He wants you to comment on it, too- call him Sheriff Hoyt- stroke his ego. That's all he wants.
Stu Macher: A lollipop! You can have it, he's already sucking one. You two can have matching blue tongues!
Stuart Lloyd: Someone forced him to chuck in the USB that his little movie is on- he's terribly anxious about it and hope that you'll just give it right back and don't play it. Its not done...
DBD! The Clown: A little travel bottle with a suspicious liquid inside. He suggests that you drink it... I suggest you do not. Unless, you know, you're into it-
DBD! The Deathslinger: A wrench. He's a handy man and never leaves the house without his handy wrench!
The Djinn: ... the jewel...
DBD! The Huntress: A bunny ear from a bunny doll. She can do it herself but if you sew it back onto her dolly then you have a friend for life.
The Man (Hush): A switchblade. He's gonna want it back but (; you can keep it while you're in the closet with him if it makes you feel safer.
Taxidermist: Some kind taxidermists tool. Maybe a fleshing cone or a necker knife.
Thomas Hewitt: A pretty rock. 🪨
Vincent Sinclair: A notepad so he can talk to you if you don't know sign language ^^
Winslow Foxworth Coltrane: A crushed can of coke. He doesn't carry shit around with him and he sure as fuck is not handing over his knife.
#Horror Villains x Reader#Horror Villains#Horror Villains and What They Would Put in the Hat#Horror Villains 7 Minutes In Heaven#Winslow Foxworth Coltrane#Foxy Coltrane#Vincent Sinclair#Thomas Hewitt#The Taxidermist#Taxidermist#Walter Harris#The Man (Hush)#DBD Huntress#DBD Anna#The Djinn#DBD Deathslinger#Caleb Quinn#DBD The Clown#Kenneth Chase#Jeffrey Hawk#Stuart Lloyd#Stu Macher#Sheriff Hoyt#Charlie Hewitt Jr#Roman Bridger#Rocco The Clown#Pennywise#Patrick Bateman#Pamela Voorhees#Otis B Driftwood
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Random question. I know you’ve mentioned how Matt’s relationships are really influenced by Alfred. Does Alfred have an opinion on his relationship with Ukraine? Or know that Matt’s kind of married lol?
His opinion is mostly that it's unsettling. Generally speaking, Matt doesn't hold a whole hell of a lot of hard and fast opinions. He's flexible within quite a broad spectrum. Alfred's seen Matt go batshit. Matt's gone batshit on his behalf and against him. For most of Matt's life it's been: for king, country and the chronic pain in the ass (affectionate) across the southern border. And then every once in a while, Matt gets fucken mouthy. Like incredibly mouthy. Tells British parliament to go fuck themselves when it's response to Ukrainian petitions was a whole lot of fuck all. Randomly builds an embassy. The national poet causing a scandal by getting their hump on with a Ukrainian activist in the 1930s.
In many ways, Alfred depends on Matt being a depressive walking anxiety disorder who is only pulled into anything by external motivation. It makes for a very easy to handle, never surprising, extremely level headed and boring ass neighbour. Basically the emotional support version of that succulent someone left in their bathroom for 15 years and still hasn't died somehow. Alfred needs Matt on the counter, not dead, doing his job.
Katya, and Matt's extremely emotional attachment to her isn't scary but it is unsettling for him. He doesn't begrudge Matt this relationship because it's mostly yearning as Matt doesn't have access to her the vast majority of the 20th century but I'm not sure if he would be so generous if it had been. And Alfred likes Katya very much after 1991 or so but before then he's not really in favor of this. The brief period Matt and Katya had after the war before the Allies fell the fuck apart saw Alfred backing Arthur's play to shack Jan and Matt up. Like it's perfectly fine for Alfred to fuck Ivan, they're hate fucking. Alfred is in denial if there are any feelings.
With Matt, there's no denying it. Matt can be apathetic, cold, stoic to the ends of the earth if he's bleeding, dying or having his heart ripped out. But he's never been able to hide love. And Alfred kind of relies on that. That it takes such an extreme level of anger before Matt's willing to let it overtake that inherent sense of love that exists. Alfred was the first real sense of love Matt had in this world and he knows that. Katya induces a similar reaction in Matt and Alfred doesn't like it. The jolt in slavic demographics they both got at the end of the 19th century didn't have that same effect on Alfred. It's not exactly jealousy but there is a certain expectation on Matt's attention Alfred expects to have. And he doesn't even need to be aware of the fact Matt makes her certain kinds of promises even if they are as limited as his power in the world is because that attachment is so obvious sometimes.
#the ask box || probis pateo#alfred and matt || lonely boys with the longest borders#katya and matt || the soil of our souls#ngl the amount of Americans shocked Canada has friends besides the us is always funny
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i shouldve kept reading before sending my ask. ON THE NEXT PAGE, the suriel says, AND I QUOTE "run for the high lords manor. Do not forget what I told you- stay with the high lord and live to see everything righted" and a little further down they say again cause sjm really wants us to know feyre should stay with the high lord which one? WOW I WONDER "free me and return to the high lords side" Did the suriel mean for feryre to run to rhysands manor? did the suriel mean for feyre to just fucken mosy her way up to rhysand, IS THAT what they meant sjm???
I looked it up to see if I was getting something wrong and that i had the wrong quote or something cause this is ridiculous, but nope i found a post where people were celebrating that they now know that this moment was intended to be about rhysand "IM LITERALLY SCREAMING! SO WE NOW KNOW FROM ACOMAF THAT THE SURIEL WAS TALKING ABOUT RHYSAND!!!!!" "It didn’t say WHICH high lord. Definitely not Tamlin"
I am ripping out my hair, I knew she just reconnected and ignored shit she wrote but WOW
Part 1 of the ask: im rereading acotar and yeahhh 100% no "stay with the high lord" the only ones shes met and has the ability to stay with is tamlin, she just asked to clarify that tamlin was a high lord and in the next couple sentences, the suriel says "the high lord" referring to tamlin who in context of the story and this conversation is the high lord mentioned. Absolute bs that it was anything about rhysand.
Listen this always kills me and Sarah writing that in ACOWAR is so funny like who does she think she's fooling? Feyre hasn't even met Rhysand yet how would "stay with the High Lord" and "return to the High Lord" refer to him? You can't "return" to somebody you haven't encountered yetttttttt
And if we want to be hung up on semantics like the stans who say "she didn't clarify which high lord" apparently are, then technically Feyre's meant to stay with the High Lord who has a manor. Last I checked Rhysand doesn't have a manor. If Sarah were vaguer with that phrase maybe she could've gotten away with retconning what that phrase meant, but Rhysand, at this point in time, doesn't have a manor (the cabin, the river house, the house of wind, the moonstone palace, the new palace he started building for feyre in acofas, and... a townhouse iirc? I think i'm mixing up a few of them tbh because i refuse to touch acomaf again unless absolutely necessary...), so the phrase cannot refer to him.
Ofc Sarah can't be consistent for two seconds ik we're reading too much into this but if she wants us to look for hints where there are none, we have the right to point that out
#ask#anon#acotar#acotar quotes#feylin#pro feylin#feyre x tamlin#tamlin x feyre#feyre archeron#tamlin
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Warrior Nun S3 prediction for Ava and Bea reunion? My personal favorite so far was Bea is in danger, handling herself like a badass, but eventually, it gets too much. Ava, somehow sensing this, breaks the laws of physics to rip open dimensions just to save her girlfriend, because no level of Hell can separate them.
Ooh, I like that. At this very moment I'm extremely partial to "Beatrice finds out after Ava's been back for [amount of time] and goes Off on her" because angst, but also, you know, I'd be so very down for "Ava appears mere Seconds after Beatrice walks out of the OCS and just fucken bolts after her because Camila and Mother Superion are like !!!! GO" because that one makes me laugh.
#ALSO. anon. your idea is also insane (compliment)#I will take anything tbh#warrior nun#ava silva#sister beatrice#avatrice#smokey answers#anonymous
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i warched good omens season 2
i have a lot to say that doesn't really amount to anything so i'm gonna start typing at random
i liked the romantic vibe of the season and all the cute flashbacks. the dialogue between the leads was appropriately trusting and sweet. they really leaned into showing how they rely on each other. i also like that the conflict was pretty small in scale compared to season 1. it's not armageddon, but there were still some stakes if you include all the humans that almost died. although.... heaven and hell seem to know exactly where crowley and aziraphale are... yes, they fooled them at the end of s1, but wouldn't they idk. try other means? why didn't they get their names erased from the book of life earlier if that was something higher up angels could do? whatever
i like that there were real actual gay characters (lesbians even! who looked like real people!) even though I was worried they were getting together too fast, the reveal towards the end that they were going to move slow felt realistic. but them having to talk crowley into confessing his feelings felt ripped straight from a fanfiction. the lesbians comparing themselves to aziraphale and crowley was a bit on the nose. many moments did in fact feel like fanfiction. the dancing together, the "I need you!", the "We can just be us." all of that was cute and probably something i would've written idk could you do any better??? i am not immune to fluff. but also, that's a grown man. does it not take agency away from the character to have his relationship explained to him? and then they had the gall to not even show us this conversation. ideally he would've come to a conclusion about his feelings on his own-- perhaps after seeing gabe and beez fuck off to alpha centauri and going huh. i guess you can just do that. or even just through way of flashback-- oh no wait. all of the flashbacks were from aziraphale's point of view for some reason. why didn't azi get any realizations? you know michael sheen would've ate
the "i was wrong dance" well here's the thing i did clap
I thought the set of the street in london with all the little shops looked nice although there were always so so many extras walking around. is london really that crowded?
i thought they kind of wasted muriel's character. she seems to disappear for a long time before the plot calls for her to conveniently be there. i know she's meant to be a bit dim but surely she noticed 70 demons walking down the street.... ALSO i thought the book crowley handed her was going to be good omens but it. was not
looooved shax loved new beelzebub. who else. idk everyone was really giving it their all. megatron showed up for all of two episodes i think but was pivotal for the ending. what are you doing neil. gabriel is also doing. things. they wasted jon hamm as well by making him a frustrating himbo. one of the only scenes i liked with him was crowley yelling at him for trying to kill aziraphale in s1 and then trying to jump out a window and then calling crowley nice. but that whole bit felt more like a crowley scene than a gabe scene. he does get a mug with his name on it tho and hypocritically falls in love with the fly lady so all is forgiven.
i'm gonna be real with you all.. the way they filmed the kiss felt awkward. the way the camera swings around and crowley grabs him felt very....... rehearsed? a little unnatural, i think. the way crowley LUNGES. idk i need to rewatch the last ten minutes again. and it went on so long. we got like three of four angles on it like whoah. but the reaction face we got out of michael sheen. mamma mia
"I forgive you." asdejgkasdgahdgdfs when i say i paused the ep for extended laughter lmfaoooooo. clutching a wine bottle to my chest and cheering. this fucken guy. babygirl is distraught for all of about ten seconds before it's time to start the new job. i did start yelling at my screen after that point. he had no right to look crowley dead in the eye across the street and not run back to him. COWARRD. i understand why he did it but COWARD. why, after sooo long, would you think crowley would jump for joy to be an angel again... i watched all eight minutes of the credits certain that there was going to be more but nope. catch ya next time for the second coming (of jesus?? <- does not know things about the bible)
so i was pretty satisfied with that watch. i wish the season was longer than 6 episodes but tbh they had to make this story from nothing and it shows in the romcom hijinks and threadbare mystery. but it was fun and went by quickly. then i check on the fandom and they're, get this, upset for some reason about this ending. there's no pleasing some fans i guess. good job neil you've pissed off the people who wanted them to kiss AND the people who didn't want them to kiss, bravo! hopefully in a month or so everyone will cool down about it. and if not well. plenty of fanfic fodder until season 3. not that i read good omens fanfic, but it'll be there. just be happy there was a kiss alright!!!!!!?!!!1
(i just know we're going to get a flood of people calling aziraphale a big meanie and crowley a poor little scrimbly blimbo meow meow who got rejected. booooo stop that right now)
#go2 spoilers#go2#feel free to come into my inbox if you felt the same or hate my guts forever it's up to you
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Creepypasta x Zolgoid Oc
TW: Some violence?
"Tarma, my dear you know I hate it when you leave for so long..so answer my question truthfully, okay?" The 9 foot tall, grey skin woman patted the 5'11 half demon man, calling her ex-apprentice by his old nickname which was Tarmacadam but Tarma for short.
With the simple nod coming from the man known as Eyeless Jack. Not daring to look up at his ex-mentor, Asphalt.
"Why'd you run away? I gave you a home, training to make you powerful, food. Why ditch all of that? hm?" She glared down at the half-demon man
"I..I just wanted to know what it'll be like if I wandered off alone-" Jack shakily murmured his reply, trembling just a bit as he finally looked up at Asphalt but got slapped before he could finish, stumbling back and to the side a bit. Looking down as he heard his ex-mentor yell, being an earful
"You ungrateful man-child! Just fucken answer truthfully, Tarma! Before i beat the shit out of you to the point you'll be unrecognizable!" She yelled, raising her hand one more time, threatening to slap Jack again
"Okay! Okay!" He immediately raised his arms to protect his head and face, then spoke up once again but being sly with how he answered "Back at headquarters. I've..I've been bothered by one of the other employees there, about three days after you took me in, he guided me somewhere, forgot, still slightly blind..then" he stopped when being pulled into a hug
"I'm sorry Jack! you should've told me, I would've done something about it! Tell me who it is so i can kill that sick fuck, please!" Asphalt held her apprentice close
Jack stayed quiet, feeling a bit guilty that he told his ex-mentor a lie. Knowing that she is a victim of sexual assault by her younger brother, Zalgo.
Then finally muttered his replied after what seemed like hours "I don't..know"
"It's okay, I'll find him and rip off his dick..I'll make sure you won't be harmed in any way" She softly reassured Jack, then leaned his head back and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead "I'm sorry for slapping you, got angry you ran away..I understand why now, once I find out who did it, I'll kill him and bring you back."
"For now, we'll head back to the mansion and tell Slender that we didn't want to buy stuff for the mansion and others" Asphalt stood up from kneeling, dusting off her knees.
"How are you going to do that? a man like Slender, you know how he is" Jack looked up at the tall woman, soon following behind her
"Relax, I'll give him head" She smirked, licking her top lip
"Wait, you've been fucking my boss?!"
"Tch, I wish! He's always so monotone, nonchalant and dry! so mysterious, demanding and rough!~" Asphalt bit her bottom lip to hard, her arms crossed over her chest and squeezed herself. Tail flicking excitedly behind her, face flushed and her eyes full of lust as she thought of Slenderman..but in a different light
"Calm yourself.." Jack murmured, watching his ex-mentor act a way towards his boss
.
"Where is the food?" Slender asked immediately when Asphalt and E.j waked in, standing up from his grandpa rocking chair
"Well..there was a problem on the way-" E.j tried to come up with an excuse but Asphalt interrupted him
"We didn't want to get anything for you fat asses, so we didn't go."
..Silence..
"Asphalt!.." E.j whispered while staring up his ex mentor with shock
"What?" She looked down, one hand on her hip and one brow raised
..Again, silence..but it didn't last long
"Hoody, you go." Slender demanded, shoving a good amount of money to the hooded man
Hoody sighed, walking out of the mansion while slamming the door behind him
"Laughing Jack, you go too." He demanded once again
"Ugh.." The jester rolled head back in annoyance "Fiiine.." L.J getting up from his comfortable seat on the couch and shoulders slumped, leaving the mansion and followed right behind Hoobie
"Why that annoying clown? he's just gonna buy himself candy with all that money you have Hoodie" Jeff glared at Slenderman
"You brought yourself nothing but junk food, shut up." Slender glared right back at Jeff
"Just saying..but seriously, you would've at least sent Masky with Hoody?"
"No."
"Huh? why not?"
"Shut up Jeffrey, before I lock your ass up in the basement."
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sardar azmoun for the character ask
such an interesting one!!! i feel like he was easier to pay attention to whenst he was at Zenit. i guess he was playing more, but also in a less "mature" phase of his life (now that he is a sardad) so had more of the inclination to be flirty and gay on insta.
favorite thing about them: well, he's beautiful for one. i don't really have that much of a "type" physically but i do always have a strong preference for dark hair, and he sure has that! and he used to be a bit chonky in his RPL days, that was a plus. it's funny when iran nt plays a big european NT and tungelr periodically discovers sardar, lol. Also--i love his goofy, jokey, bratty-not-a-twink vibe, his old videos broing out to turkmen music at home with his friends, his pubg mobile gaming videos, and the fact that he is a horse girl and fuckening facetimes his horses. and his "love me for who i am" tattoo. and the fact that his mom in the rostov days loved tyoma so much (i'm assuming you have familiarity with ye olde rpl lore...maybe not?) she'd pray for him to score goals.
least favorite thing about them: tbh...probs isn't quite as gay as i thot he was.
favorite line: um. there was that one long interview when the zenit guy went to his parents' house in iran and interviewed him in english, and he dropped some 'fucks' which was endearing, but also maybe it was that video where he's with deki and deki's son and was asking deki's son if he has a girlfriend. i was like sardar...no one here has had a girlfriend lmao (i mean yeah sardeki both have wags but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN)
brotp: hmmm...maybe with his national teammate mehdi taremi?
notp: there are some cheating rumors about him, so...blah! that!
otp: RIP sardartem...you were truly one of the finest. in that heyday i had it up there with rakidric and the dejanships. and sardartem linkups on the pitch made that 20-21 season so fire to watch. also i mean. the fake anal in the dressing room. we all remember how they seemed a Little Too Comfortable with that. i kind of want to know what happened to make them stop speaking after sardar transfered suddenly to leverkusen.
random headcanon: i think he's a Switch
unpopular opinion: he probably would have been better off not going to bundesliga? is that unpopular?
song i associate with them: uhh this turkmen song but it's not like i listen to it very often...it's just playing in his fuckboi car during one of my fav videos of him lol
favorite picture of them: ooh, choosing a random one from the archives...
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I want to start listening to/watching opera do you have any suggestions to start with?
oh boy, this is a hell of a question with a lot of possible answers! opera is super subjective, and everyone with a passion for it has a different seminal experience—most often that's a live production of La Traviata by Giuseppe Verdi, La bohème by Giacommo Puccini, or Carmen by Georges Bizet. really the best possible in for opera is live performance—but there's a reason opera's considered a hobby for rich people, so in lieu of shelling out for tickets!!!
below the cut is a list of arias that fucken rip (and a few full-length opera recs)! this is definitely not your, like, greatest hits list, because i think the arias everyone shoves at people are deeply fucking boring—but you definitely have heard the first three before!
Habanera (L'amour est un oiseau rebelle) sung by Elina Garança, from Bizet's Carmen (because this shit is HOT)
The Queen of the Night (Der Hölle Rache) sung by Diana Damrau, from Mozart's Magic Flute (this one lacks subtitles, so the gist of the aria is the Queen is Angry™ at her daughter for resisting her super super reasonable order to murder her own father, as one does)
Summertime sung by Audre McDonald, from Gershwin's Porgy and Bess (you know this song!!)
Sempre libera sung by Pretty Yende, from Verdi's La Traviata (also lacks subtitles, so the gist of this one is Violetta [the character] is on the verge of falling madly in love, and is trying to convince herself to shut the guy down and keep living her easy breezy party life instead of taking the risk of being hurt and chained down)
Près des ramparts de Seville sung by Elina Garança, from Bizet's Carmen (from the same production as the Habanera above; including 2 from that production bc it's a smash fuckin hit and like... it sure leans into how SEXY opera can be)
Pur ti miro! sung by Nardus Williams and Kate Lindsey, from Monteverdi's Coronation of Poppea (no subtitles, so: this is a love duet from the very end of the opera, right after Poppea [soprano] has been crowned Empress, and is basically just Poppea and Emperor Nerone expressing their very tender joy at being married and in love)
O mio rimorso! sung by Rolando Villazòn, from Verdi's La Traviata (specifically a very cute video from a filmed orchestra rehearsal where Villazòn's just playing around, like. it makes me so, so happy to see it expressed that this shit is fun to do!!!)
if you want more recs, i'm have far too many pieces to put here and also there's a lot of resources for this online! this list is tragically reflective of my own fixation on the Romantic period (exceptions being the Monteverdi, which is what we call Early Music, the Mozart, which is Classical, and the Gershwin, which is quintessential contemporary opera), so mind you, even if you don't like most of these, there's opera for you!
now if you want to dig in further and try out watching an entire opera:
considering that i listed two of Carmen's arias from that same production, i do pretty strongly recommend the 2010 Metropolitan Opera production of Carmen—however, the only video of it that has subtitles is on the Met's streaming site, so it does cost a little money to watch it, much though that hurts my heart. i cannot recommend it enough, but also money is garbage. (fair warning, this opera gets very dark, and it's from the 1800s so it operates from a very toxic perspective of the Romani—and it's opera, so of course the Romani characters are not played by Romani singers, which is its own can of worms)
you'll notice there are also two arias from La Traviata on my list—so of course that's my second full-length recommendation! Traviata is a true classic (that scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere takes Julia Robers to the opera? they're watching La Traviata—which is a fun detail, since it tells a story that's very resonant for Roberts' character specifically) and it contains some of the most sparkling, beautiful, heart-rending music that exists, imo. there's a really incredible full-length video of a 2006 production by LA Opera that features really lush period-appropriate costuming and sets, and a really especially fierce take on the lead tenor role. plus it's Renée Fleming, and love her or hate her, if you're gonna do opera, you have to give her a listen once or twice!
finally, the general consensus is that The Magic Flute is a good starter opera! i have my complaints about that but it's definitely a popular choice for a reason! contains the famous Queen of the Night aria from above, which is the most quoted operatic piece p much of all time, and it's definitely a lighter-sounding piece of music than the other two i listed! decent full-length video of a 1995 production at La Scala
that's all for now, but if any of it catches you, anon (or anyone else!) i'm definitely always down for more suggestions. and if you feel like goin rogue after this, my main suggestion is to figure out what specific kinds of sound you like—the light, fast Mozart? the rich Traviata? lush sexy Carmen? or the much more sparse Monteverdi?—and dig into those musical eras! and also if you like any of these singers' voice specifically, search them on youtube and just go hog wild!! honestly i found Pretty Yende because of this and as soon as i post this i am 100% gonna go watch about 7 more of her videos and cry a lot (her Addio del passato, oh my GOD)
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You want old men thoughts?? Hmm.... Right now I can't think of much, but I'll give you the little things I got XD
- Imagine in the Norman and Inkubus imagine you made, it's actually Norman that gets you first. You two have an established relationship before Inkubus came along, and started trying to seduce you. You insist to Norman that this new guy is 'just a friend', but even blind he can see that this guy has no good intentions towards his little wife.
- Imagine that you were the one victim of the Fireflies that managed to escape, and now Otis is obsessed with 'finishing what he started' with you. At first, it was with the intention to kill, but he just can't stop thinking about you lately (I'm not sure how in character this is, but I hope you still enjoy it XD)
- Ok this isn't sexual, but imagine you and Jim share a bed together, and in the middle of the night, you at first feel your husband shaking. You look over your shoulder to see his still sleeping face, and it looks scared. Pained. And you hear him muttering... You know what he's dreaming about. It's the same dream he's had ever since that God forsaken poaching trip he went on that almost killed him.
It's not much, but I hope you enjoy these imagines! ^^
OLD MEN-
Norman Nordstrom x Reader x Inkubus-
I loveee this prompt XDD Its like:
Y/N: *Introducing their husband and their nice new friend 'Klaus'* And like I said Norm, we're just goin' to the shops for a bit.
Norman, getting bad vibes off of this... 'Klaus': I don't want you goin anywhere with him.
Y/N: ... :D *w h a t... *
Y/N: *Eyeroll* Don't worry Norm!, I love you, Klaus is just a friend ^^
Inkubus, who has been quiet up until that moment.: ... excuse me I'm what-
OR
Y/N, explaining to Norman who's at the door (You're lovely new friend obviously XD ) and that you two are just going out shopping: Don't worry Norm!, I love you, Klaus is just a friend ^^ He doesn't have any weird intentions, don't be possessive.
Norman: Hmm... I gues-
Inkubus: *'Absentmindedly' tapping his foot on the porch outside- you cant hear it but Norman with his exceptional senses sure can. And why is it significant?... its Morse code for 'OH YES. I DO.' *
Otis B Driftwood x Reader-
Its totally in character!! I can absolutely see Otis being pissed and obsessing until, like, Baby mentions that she swears he has a crush~~ And he obviously curses at her and the fight because no way in hell does he have a fucken crush, but then when Baby skips off- he has an epiphany~ Like hm... (: Maybe I do have a thing on the slippery little fuck-cunt... Oh, heh heh, even better.
CUZ HE KNOWS, he KNOWS, being in a relationship with him is the worse sentence he could have ever dreamt up even on the purest of LSD.
Warnings; Capture, restraints, (Light) non-con touching/sexual assault and heavy allusions to rape. Just because I wrote this under your ask, does not mean you have to read it if you are uncomfortable. Technically all this can be sub-categorised under Otis' name, but I want to be clear XD My head goes to a darkkk place when I write Otis, okay? I'm sorry-
The old fucker's huge hand was tight over your mouth and nose as he leant in and grinned with dirty teeth at you. "... congrats, for what its worth. Its never taken me this long to find someone. Heheh, you're a good runner, gingerbread. Too bad you're not so good at hiding."
In responce you struggle once again against the restraints keeping you down on your knees; bare skin digging into the gravel parking lot beneath you. The tag ties around your wrists keep your arms stuck painfully behind your back as well as your ankles rubbing raw against each other.
"... lemme explain to you why you don't wanna fight me, alright?... " His hand squeezes you jaw, and you just wonder why he seems in such good spirits. The last time you saw him you were in the bed of a truck racing away from his crazy ass Texas chainsaw-style and he looked about ready to rip your throat out with his gross teeth. What changed? Why is he smiling, now? "... you see, uh... oh shit, I'm a little nervous!" there is not a single sign of nervousness in his eyes; Just a cruel amusement. "Okay, here we go- I like you." Immediately you try to struggle again but his other hand clamps around your arm and holds you still- and close. "Yeah. And well I usually don't take so well to, um... you know, little fucken bitches like you gettin' away... ehhhhh, I'm mellowing out in my old age, I guess. So! Here's the deal,
"I'll play nice. You know, I wont uh... hurt you, I guess. I promise, okay? Scouts honour, or whatever. But you... you gotta play nice too, k? You gotta... " Otis eyes flicker, moving purposefully from where they had been steadfast to yours for the past few minutes... down your body. The hand on your arm moves and ever so gently his knuckles graze against your chest. You jaw would drop if it wasn't restrained. You would shiver. You would hit him. With another creepy chuckle, Otis gives a grimy smirk to you. "You gotta be realll nice, to old Otis. Yeah?
"That's the only way yer gettin' outta this alive, sweet thing. Take it or leave it; its up to you. See? I'm nice!"
Jim Bickerman x Reader-
That's okay, it doesn't need to be sexual! We also love old men XD
We have had the comedy, we have had the horror... now we get the angst and the fluff XD Here we go-
You're slowly roused from sleep by the cold, Jim assumedly hogging the blanket (Though that's not a thing he does, he usually doesn't even care about the blanket) so you sit up turn your head to look down at him; And immediately you wince.
"Oh, no... "
With his good hand clamped over his own mouth and his skin looking pale, its obvious exactly what he's dreaming about. His eyebrows are furrowed in his sleep and the lines in his forehead and the bridge of his nose are deep, his breathing is haggard and you know it has to be a nightmare.
This has happened before, ever since that trip back to Blackwater you wish he hadn't taken, and every time seems even worse then the one before. And they change him; The bags under his eyes haven't ever been deeper then they are these days; at least not as long as you've known him.
The worst part is knowing you cant wake him up, you can just be useless there beside him wondering what he's seeing. What part of him the teeth are ripping apart this time. Whether he's getting out alive, this time.
Taking a deep breath yourself, you carefully peel his fingers off his mouth so he can breath properly, holding it tight in your own hand instead. And then you just sit there, in the dark (The only light in the room being what the moon creates, coming in through the window Jim broke a couple days ago.), squeezing his hand and hoping he'll wake up soon. That he'll wake up.
When finally he lurches up beside you, breathing heavily as he wakes up and crushing your fingers so hard his knuckles go white and so do yours, you just let him calm down on his own. Just hold his hand and try to give him space while not giving him space at all; wanting him to have room, but not wanting him to feel alone. You're right here and you're not going anywhere. You feel absolutely useless, but... you're not going anywhere.
A few heavy moments pass where he just breaths, and you just watch him with worry-filled eyes, until the pulse you can feel in his wrist returns to close-to-normal, and you give his hand one final, hard squeeze before letting it go. Instead you silently enfold enfold him in your arms, him immediately dissolving into you; wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face into your shoulder, slowly taking some more relaxed breaths.
"Heh... not a fan of those nightmares peanut but I gotta say I like the service I get afterwards."
"... are you okay?... "
"I'm fine." He always says he's fine, but fine would mean no more nightmares. Jim says that he's fine when he has shrapnel in his knuckles, Jim said he was fine the other day after he fell off the roof- you do not trust his fine, at all. Crazy bastard that he is; His 'fine' is completely without basis in reality.
"... you're fine?" You ask, an obviously-dubious look on your face as you lean back and tilt your head at him.
Jim smirks, something you can just see in the dim-lit room. "With my flask and possibly a little under-the-covers action sweetheart I could be better then fine." The smirk transforms into a whole grin and you cant help but roll your eyes; Grinning yourself a little, despite yourself.
He's nuts, but you kinda love him for it. "How about water, and some ice cream?"
Eyes hardening, Jim gives you a 'you cant fix my liver' kind of look. You're very familiar with it; It makes you want to laugh. "How about homebrew and ice cream?- and, also, where the hell are we gettin' this ice cream from missy?? I didn't think we had any more. Either you're makin' empty promises to an old cripple with ptsd or you've been holdin' out on me."
-oh damn. Quickly you let go of him and hop outta bed. "... uh... well no we dont have ice cream... not that you know of, anyway." Avoiding eye contact, you busy yourself collecting the half-empty cups of water off of both of your night stands. "So you- uh- wanted moonshine?? Great, sounds fantastic, lets go- "
He's not to be deterred, an amused glint in his eye as he watches you. "Where are you keeping this ice cream, dumpling? I know theirs none in our freezer."
"Uhhhm... "
"Hmm?"
"... fine I have a secret mini freezer in the back. You kept stealing my Ben & Jerries, I had no other choice! Now, do you want some or not? Because if not, I'll just go eat it myself!" With that, you grab a discarded flannel off the floor for the chill and rush out of the bedroom- but its not long before you hear the sound of his prosthetic leg hit the ground.
... Its not long later after that when Jim has you backed up against the cold brick wall just outside the back door; Leant in close and with one hand and one hook on your waist. As well as a devils look in his eye that makes you grin under its scrutiny.
"I believe we made a vow, sweetheart, somethin' like what's mine is yours??... "
#I LOVE ALL THESE PROMPTS/IMAGINES THANK YOU SO MUCH!#these were so fun too XD#i hope you like them!! ^^#Norman Nordstrom x Reader x Inkubus#Inkubus x Reader x Norman Nordstrom#Norman Nordstrom x Reader#Inkubus x Reader#Otis B Driftwood x Reader#Jim Bickerman x Reader#Drabble#Excerpt#Incorrct Quote#IQs#Incorrect Quotes
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I followed another blog that I really liked and they turned out to have opposite opinions from me so now I'm just worried about all Sans and Papyrus blogs I like
if you are the same anon i nearly ripped ass into, and you are implying what im fucken hopin you are,
No, i dont post, support, draw, ect with fontcest/swapcest/fellcest/any cest.
im a fontcest free zone, the only thing you gotta worry with me is my drunken sailor mouth that holds obnoxious amounts of cursing, and i guess sometimes blood since i remember another anon tugging on my shirt like the whole "mommy i frew up" shit about gore.
All youll see here is stupid rambles, my own ocs/aus, or rarely fanart of other things.
If you like that cool ! My blog is for myself and those who enjoy what i make with a sprinkle of requests, if you dont damn that sucks go back to the basement you hob goblin.
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Some of my truth
It was only a matter of time before liberals, democrats, progressives started to rip themselves apart clearing the way for more cracks in an already broken system.
I hate it here. I'm tired and sick
I'm a few months shy of 40 with 2 degrees and yet I have no idea what to do with life.
I've lost my motivation to write, read, or even sleep.
Do I know why?
World events, debt, constant wondering what the fuck is happening in this country and how that's going to effect my kids, our lives, my husband, his job...
You know:
Helping people with student debt while 1%'s and repubs/dems get their not needed ppp loans forgiven, tax breaks, money from lobbyists, shouldn't be an issue that breaks these groups apart.
Helping people with medical needs and Medicare shouldn't sound like our country would be taking a knife in the back.
Standing with the marginalized shouldn't be killing people.
The state of law enforcement and what is, once again, is on display for the world to see how regular people are charged by a different set of rules versus those with money. Doesn't matter the crime.
The Bible? The misguided teachings of Christianity, once again being used to kill people.
Really in 2023?
At 40 I saw way too fucken late that as a Mexican American, my vote, my voice, doesn't matter.
I wish I could go back.
Because no, I wouldn't of taken out a school loan that has more than doubled due to interest. I'm not saying I shouldn't pay it. That's not my argument. My argument is..at eightfuckenteen I couldn't get a car loan for 12 grand and 230 bucks a month, but that same year I was able to sign for a 20 thousand dollar school loan.
Did I understand what I was signing?
No. Because the idea of going to school was one of the few choices I had. School, menial job, or military.
Is that my fault, yes? Because I was easy prey and uneducated.
Then, I watch my parents struggle even though they've worked hard all their lives and now scraping by on retirement/security. My dad is 70 and yet can't afford to retire. But in that same note can't get his retirement/social fully if he still works part time?
Wtf? Social security? Something we pay into since we first start working.
Medicare? My mom can't afford tooth surgery although on insurance and social security.
GUNS...hey they're being used to kill children and minorities, and because Jim Bob fuckstick feels threatened he can go to fucken subway with more guns and ammo on him than a marine, but fuck it right. Second Amendment
And that's just a few..pfff...
I've voted red. I've voted blue till I was blue in the face for men and women promising, using our/my plight for their soapbox.
I'm fucken done with all this bullshit.
I needed my own soap box today. Of course this sounds so whiny and one sided but I'm so fed up. Insomnia, anxiety, depression aren't helping.
Maybe ignorance is bliss cause these fucktards with the loudest voices seem to be enjoying the good life.
#politics#im done#democracy#bluevsred#democrats#republican#medicare#student debt#social security#progressives
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