#i'll be fine. i just use my blog to vent a lot
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Hello everyone.
I'm finally writing out a new pinned post, I feel like it's at least somewhat time. I haven't and probably won't ever move on but I've gotten a lot more interaction lately and myself have interacted a lot more so I think this is both needed and good to have.
Anyways,
I'm Anna! I'm pretty Butch (look pretty masc but I don't really identify as that), 28 (birthday is August 24th) and I'm primarily a shiny transfem (aka a dom/top and yes I stole this) who also just really likes helping people and tries their hardest to be nice. I have a LOT of kinks, and very few things are off limits to me.
Note that I don't like being called cute or a cutie but it's generally fine, I'll just turn it back on you. I'd also ask that you not reblog my personal or vent posts, which I generally try and tag with personal or vent.
Other things I generally don't like bringing to this blog are politics and doom scrolling, it's not that I don't pay attention to those things or care about them, but I primarily want this blog to be a place where people don't have to think about those things. I'm just here to chill and be horny, so if you don't bring that vibe it's totally fine, just don't expect much.
I'm pretty much an open book and I greatly enjoy people interacting with me so feel free to ask me anything (I probably have an infodump locked and loaded) or talk to me in the tags or reblogs, I do usually read them (horny bottoms don't think you can escape if you're horny in the tags)
You can call me Anna, Mistress, Queen, Goddess, or probably anything else, but don't call me late for dinner.
Not a full list by any means but my kinks are
Petplay, Dom/Sub, Animalistic, Prey/Predator, Bondage, Marking, Pain (giving), Sadism, Biting, Robots, Corruption, Dolls, cnc, watersports (somewhat), breath control, brat taming, cum play, lactation, praise (giving) and degradation (giving), free use, worship (receiving), and probably all kinds of other stuff I'm not thinking of. Like I said I'm pretty open. I don't really tag my nsfw or kink stuff so I apologize in advance, if you ask I'll try but I will probably forget eventually because ADHD.
If you're a cis man or chaser I'd rather not receive dm's from you because I'm not into either of those things. Not a hard rule but don't expect much unless I know you already. Trans men, agender, non binary, genderfluid, bigender and anyone else who isn't cis are MORE than welcome to interact with me.
My favorite bands are Linkin Park, Rise Against and other similar bands. I really like anything that provokes emotions and thoughts in me or moves me.
My favorite video game of all time is the Nier series, mainly Nier Automata.
My favorite anime (among others) is Naruto (the OG) and Aria: The Animation.
I think that's pretty much it. If you want to be treated like a princess or a slave, you should definitely hit me up. Or even if you just want to experience some kindness and love, I will be happy to give you pets and hugs.
Astolfo is my favorite character of all time and as close to a kin as you can get. I love her and strive to be as much like her as I can.
I also consider myself a Ditto or Vampire for OC purposes mostly.
My discord is annastolfo (previously _astolfo until it was hacked) if you want to add me and are a mutual or we've talked before.
If you read this far, congratulations, you get a headpat! *pats*
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𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭
-Call me Yu or Zim, I accept any type of nickname, just ask me first if you want to give me one
-My Pronouns are They/Them or Ze/Zim (DO NOT USE FEMALE OR MALE PRONOUNS WITH ME, I WILL BLOCK YOU IF YOU USE THOSE.)
-Im non-binary, aroace and demi-romantic btw :3
-Im a minor, I won't expose my age, but yeah. I don't mind NSFW, sexual or suggestive jokes, etc. Just don't be a weirdo with me (I'm fine with flirty jokes as long as you're not an adult making them with me)
-Im multifandom!! :DD The main fandoms I'm in at the moment are Invader Zim, FNAF, Undertale, Cult of the Lamb, Sam & Max, etc.
-I like Zadr (no proshipp), So, if you feel uncomfortable with this ship, feel free to block me peacefully, it's okay, just don't threaten me with death or anything like that. This blog will have several mentions and perhaps art and fanfics about ZaDr so be warned.
-I am not a proshipper, please refrain from calling me that. I don't want proshippers interacting with me, mainly cuz many of them may like shipps that trigger me, So please refrain from calling me that. Thank you
-Im a Zim kinnie!! Me and Him are literally THE SAME.
-Basic DNI (also DNI if you sexualize Dib, Zim, Gaz, Tak, etc. Y'all nuts in a bad way, FLY AWAY FROM MY BLOG. Also TAZR, TADR, GAZR, PRAZARD DNI/srs)
-The owner of this blog is too Silly and takes no responsibility if they make someone Silly too
-Maybe I'll post art here, just don't expect it to be good. I draw on my cell phone, which makes the quality of the images a little questionable. Sorry
-Expect a lot of shit from this blog like REALLY
-my blog tags are #scorpodoodles (for drawings) #yurants (for my rants/vents) #stfuyu (No definition. Random.) #defaeau (for my Invader Zim au, drawings, spoilers and facts about this au). #yuoutbreaks (In case I'm having psychological breakdowns and end up saying something I don't really mean, But I'll still say it anyway and I'll probably regret it).
-My ao3 account
That's it for now, maybe I'll update this pinned post, idk
THANK YOU FOR READING
WELCOME TO MY BLOG
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Too much..
✦Im bad at telling and writing stories! Im sorry ><
.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩
You were bored, scrolling through your phone and you came across a website. It seems fishy.. but you clicked it. It was a chatting website. You talk to strangers online. You pressed join.
The person texted "Greetings", the person's username was RussianRat , you guessed he was russian and a rat??
You replied "Heya"
"How are you?" he replied.
"Im' doing fine ig.."
"I guess? Whats the matter?"
"My family just went put to a vacation and they left me in the house.. and they posted in their feed 'Bonding with my family'"
"Hm.. Thats not right"
"Well im used to it so it doesnt matter"
"Still.. you are part of the family that they created. You should be one of them. I suppose their not right in the head and they are a sinner"
"I like how you speak.."
"Well thank you."
"I've go to go now.. chat you later RussianRat"
"Talk to you later Любовь"
You downloaded the app and saved his info. After that you went downstairs and cooked yourself a nice meal and took a warm bath. Your family.. how do i say this again.. right your a mistake. Your parents did it and forgot protection and there came you. So they hated you despised you. You were a mistake, to them your a burden. Another mouth to feed for them. But they couldnt send you away to an orphanage cause a lot of people knew they had you. What would people think of them?.. Scrolling through your phone you've found another website.. a dark website.. (I'll seperate this story to another blog dw).. you decided to check it later.. so you listened to music till you fell asleep.
....
You woke up at 2 am.. it was automatically.. you never had the reason to wake up that time but your body always wakes up at that time... You went downstairs and drank water.. and back up to your bedroom. You cant sleep.. so you turned on your phone and chatted 'RussianRat'.
"Hello are you awake?"
"Yes i am. What are you doing awake so early?"
"Well.. my body automatically wakes up this time.."
"I see.. i suppose you cant sleep?"
"Good guess!!"
"Can i do anything to help you then?"
You never experienced love before..but you hold affection for his words.. you dont know why but even if its just words your stomach twist in a good way.. you just met him..
"Hello?"
"Oh sorry i zoned out"
"Thats alright.."
A bunch of exchanging words to eachother.. the affection grew.. and grew.. you guys have been chatting for a month now..
"RussianRat"
"Yes Дорогой?"
"Whats your name?"
"Fyodor."
"So you really are russian.. Im Y/N"
"Beautiful name."
"Thank you"
Your family came back a week ago.. your days was always filled with mean words 'Your so useless!', 'I shouldnt have given birth to you!', 'All you give me is stress and anxiety!','You should kill yourself!', and many more. You were used to it. Is this why you hold affection for Fyodor's words? is that it? Maybe. Words hold a large affect on you. Cause words from your family hurted you.. and Fyodor's words.. his.. words.. were.. you feel.. loved by his words.. even if its only "Have you slept well?" and "Have you eaten breakfast yet?" you feel loved..
You always vented to him.. telling him about your troubles and your day. He always comforted you to the point it was his hobby and yours. But you always felt like you were a bother to him. Well. you are a stranger he met online. Sometimes you type messages like "I707370U" (ILOVEYOU) and it always lifts the burden on your shoulder.. hoping he wouldnt know what it means. But. Its Fyodor he got that 200 IQ. And you always giggled at his words and when he say the foreign text he sends you.. you always blushed and you squeal everytime.
You always texted eachother everyday. But your family always shuts the wifi down at night and they dont let you connect you use internet at daytime. You want to meet Fyodor. But your scared to ask. The affection that grew was so strong that you cut yourself to ease the eagerness on your stomach everytime you two chat. But until this day.
"Дорогой" He chatted.
"Hello Fedya!! How are you??"
You chat more livelier now.
"Im alright but im worried bout you.."
"Oh?? why is that?"
"Your cutting yourself arent you?"
What.. wait.. how.. did he know?
"What?? I dont do that!"
"Stop lying"
"...How did you know?"
"Thats a secret... Now. why do you do it?"
"Thats my secret.."
Your mind going hazy.. you feel your about to explode. You dont know why!
"I love you Fedya"
"Дорогой"
"I dont know what your saying or why am i like this.. i dont like it... cause everytime i talk to you my stomach twist! Stop seducing me! Are you a wizard?? I love you so much to the point it becomes unbearable! That i had to do something about it! And i know i never had the chance to you because im just a stranger online and you probably like someone else that you know in real life!
You sent the message.. youll regret this later.. your conversation.. this friendship might end.. or never will be the same.. or even both. You felt tears as you were waiting for is response.
"Your adorable my Дорогой"
Your surprised.
"..?"
"Dont worry about it much dear. Ill talk to you later. Goodnight my love"
'My love?' You blushed giggling kicking at the message.. but.. he didnt comfort you as he used to.. that was strange.. He said goodnight so immediately slept.
You woke up at 2 am again.. you rub your eyes.. and sat..
You hear a knock at your window.. 'what?' You panicked and grabbed a chair.
"Whos there..?"
You opened the curtain.. there was nothing.. you sighed and put down the chair.. 'its probably a bird or something..'
You sat at the edge of your bed then you felt the bed sank behind you. You immediately turned around and saw.. Fyodor?
You blushed and he pull you downed on the bed.
"Good evening Дорогой"
"F-Fyodor?????"
"Yes its me Дорогой"
"H-how.. why- what??"
"Shh.. do you feel better now?"
"Of course.."
This felt like a dream come true.. so you cant help it but just hug him., this felt too good to be true so you want to cherish the moment.
"Everything will be alright now.. Дорогой"
"I wish this is real.. i love you Fedya"
"This is real"
"Yeah ill believe it after i wake up in the morning and see you wrapped your arms around me"
"Alright"
He hugged you and kissed your forehead.. this was.. really too good to be true!
"Goodnight my love"
....
You woke up 6 am.. Fyodor wasnt in your bed.. your dissapointed and sad.. stupid dream.. then you heard a knock.. you opened the door and you saw Fyodor.. you smiled brightly and hugged him..
"Please tell me this isnt a dream!"
"Good morning my love.. and this is not a dream."
You pinched yourself.
"ouch! this isnt really a dream!! I love you so much!!!!!!!"
"I love you too"
You felt a cold liquid on his shirt.. it.. was blood?
"Fedya! What happened your bleeding!"
"Dont worry.. it isnt my blood and im not hurt.."
He said as he kissed the crown of your head.
"Whos blood is it??"
"Your family."
..Surprisingly.. you felt nothing..
"Oh.."
You only hugged him tighter.
"Lets get.. you cleaned.."
"Hm.. After this.. shall we leave?"
He brushed his fingers along your cheek.
"Okay.."
You smiled.
"I love you Дорогой"
"I love you too.. too much.."
.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩
HIII!! As i said in my previous blog.. this is one of my irl stories!!! except for the killing part!! Sorry if its not the accurate Fyodor!
Дорогой = Darling
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Hi! I'm Ruben, and this is my art blog! I mostly post silly OCs and original stuff, or whatever I happen to be hyperfixated on at the time! Read on to find out more!
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About
I am Ruben, but most people call me Bean, and I also go by Ben - so feel free to use any of those names, I'll respond to them all!
I'm 27, Non-Binary, and I use They/Them pronouns. I've been doing art pretty much all my life, and I do it somewhat professionally. I enjoy all types of art, but my mains are drawing and animation - but don't be surprised if there are some crafts or other medias here and there too!
I am autistic, and have severe social anxiety (among other disabilities), so please be patient with me if I take a while to respond, have an under/overreaction to something, or do not understand something right away! I also tend to forget things a lot, so you can always give me a reminder, if it has been a while - just please do not spam me!
I love getting asks about my characters, and AUs, even if I cannot answer them all - I have many askblogs for more specific characters/settings, which are linked below if you wanna check them out!
Please keep in mind that some of my characters are villainous, aggressive or just plain mean, and any actions or responses may be rude, violent or upsetting! When I respond in character, I am just playing a character, and their actions do not reflect me, and should not be taken personally!
DMs I am more hesitant about bc of the mentioned anxiety, so if you wish to DM me, please have a reason to be doing so - I don't tend to respond to just 'hi', and asking for free art will probably end up in a block. I also do not RP at all, so please do not ask.
I tend to vent a lot! I use art as a form of catharsis and to avoid hurting myself irl, so there might randomly be some upsetting content posted, but I do tag these with 'vent tag', and the appropriate CW tags - please see below for them
My art (and characters) is not for free use! So please do not repost, edit, trace my art, and please do not use it in videos/games, or for AI bots/databases. If you see my art somewhere, that I did not approve of, and regardless if it is credited or not, please let me know!
That being said, if you really want to use my art somewhere, please ask first! Usually the use as an icon, or in a silly meme, is fine - just ask first!
I don't do requests for things I am not interested in, and I probably will not draw your OC for free. I do take suggestions for things I am interested in, and might do the occasional art trade with mutuals/friends. I do also take commissions (but my sheet needs a big update, so prices may change soon).
I switch sonas around a lot! Bean is my main one (in a semi-realistic style and a more cartoonish one), but do not be surprised if I am sometimes depicted as a furry or a monster now and then.
These sonas are also both a representation of me, and characters in my stories. I try to define when I am 'in-character' and 'out-of-character', so please keep this in mind when commenting/asking.
Fanart of my characters and AUs is okay, and always appreciated! Please try to represent the characters(s) the best you can, and ask before doing making significant design changes (such as a 'Genderbend' or 'Species Swap' etc). Again, I am forgetful, so if I do not acknowledge it within a week or so, please give me a nudge!
I don't mind minors following, as most of my stuff is SFW, but please keep in mind that I am an adult, and may upload an occasional suggestive post or joke. These are also tagged as needed.
Good golly this is so long, but I think that's it for this part
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Interests
I am currently mainly into Pizza Tower, and the OCs I have created for it, so that is mostly what you will see at the moment! - I have currently two AUs I am focused on, mainly the one where it's just my interpretation of the game (no name for this one yet), and then my secondary called 'Cheeseshop AU', with Brick the Rat as the protag, and species are swapped! (So Brick is human, Peppino and Gustavo are rats etc)
I also have a lot of original stories, characters and concepts, and will post those too! I tend to jump from idea to idea and back again, so do not mind if I am talking about one genre in one post, and then it completely changes the next post. (Although most are just slice-o-life with fantasy elements)
Other interests are: FNAF (previous hyperfixation, kinda comes and goes and may have occasional posts here), Bugsnax (also a previous hyperfixation, mainly when the game came out but not so much any more), Pokemon (not a hyperfixation, I just think they're neat), and... That's pretty much it, that I can think of! I don't tend to get into fandoms much, and I just focus on one thing for years haha
I am also not really looking for other things to be interested in, so please do not take it personally if I do not look at or get into anything suggested to me.
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Content Warnings
As mentioned before, I vent a lot, but I also enjoy drawing some body horror or gore for fun, if the mood strikes! These are tagged simply as '[thing]' for blocking purposes, but please let me know if there are tags I have missed!
Common, will not be tagged: Mild Body Horror (things like extra eyes or limbs, or slightly melty people etc), Scars, Foul Language, Depictions of Panic Attacks/Meltdowns, Use of Caps and Glitched/Zalgo text
Uncommon, will be tagged: Eye Strain, Alcohol Use, Smoking (mostly regular cigarettes, but maybe weed too), Partial Nudity (bare chests mostly), Mildly Suggestive Jokes or Imagery, Emetophobia/Vomit, Blood, Violence, Moderate to Severe Body Horror (like excessive amounts of extra eyes or teeth, beings fused together etc), Guns, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Gore, Implied Cannibalism, Implied Death
Rare, will be tagged, and under a read-more cut: Very Suggestive Jokes or Imagery, On Screen Cannibalism, On Screen Death
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Tags and Other Blogs/Links
My text post/ask tag is 'bean talks too much' and OC tags are 'OC: [OC's name]'. Other tags are for organisation, or just me talking to myself - and I do that a lot.
I am SmallTimidBean pretty much everywhere, although I mainly only post here, my characters to my Toyhou.se or ARPG stuff on my DeviantArt - and I have a Kofi, if you want to send a tip my way! (Not necessary, but very much appreciated if you do!)
I do have a Discord, but I am not comfortable giving it out unless we have interacted at least a few times! If you do find it by chance, please do not just send a friend request, I am unlikely to accept it for my own comfort.
My main blog, and the one that I follow from, is @smalltimidbean-reblogs - mainly just reblogs of art I like, animals or funny posts.
My currently active askblog is @ask-the-totally-real-peppino - an ask blog for Pep (my version of Fake Peppino from Pizza Tower)
I have several other askblogs, and just blogs in general, but I will put them under cut, as most are inactive or plain dead (I just keep them for archival sake, or the rare chance I may return to them)
@ask-the-music-man - Inactive FNAF askblog for Music Man, DJ Music Man and other FNAF characters, might return to it at some point but not right now
@we-bear-wicked-smiles - Inactive FNAF askblog for Nightmare and the other Nightmare animatronics, might also return to it but also not right now
@ask-lionel-ottaviani - Inactive askblog for a monster security guard named Lionel, will probably never return to it bc the group it was a part of disbanded, and I have bad memories with it - however Lionel and his friends show up here and an AU version where he is human feature on the Music Man blog
@bensnax - Inactive Bugsnax blog, was mostly reblogs, but I did intend to post my Grumpus characters there too (I think there's like one post of some of them) - probably will not return any time soon, as Bugsnax is not a major interest right now
@ask-a-genectric - Inactive Pokemon askblog for a Gengar/Manectric hybrid called Lexus, would like to return to it but unlikely
@the-bashful-skuntank - Inactive Pokemon askblog for a Skuntank named Fleur, would also like to return to it but unlikely
@thedailyzangoose - Previously a daily blog for the Pokemon Zangoose, but was revamped into an askblog for a troop of Zangoose characters, inactive and unlikely to return to it
@little-beast-bakery - A suggestion based blog to create little characters for people to adopt, never got off the ground and probably never will
I have a few other blogs that were OC specific askblogs, but I never posted to them, so no reason to link them. I did also have two NSFW blogs that are still technically up, but were nuked after the NSFW ban of 2018 - I am not going to link them for obvious reasons, but if you do somehow find them, keep it to yourself please!
Okay, this is very long, but I think that is it! Thank you for reading if you are down here!
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Intro post #3
You may call me The hare or The angel, I use they/it pronouns, I am 17 years of age. This blog is my vent account, I'm using tumblr as my therapist and you get to watch me ride the roller coaster.
I am not self diagnosing on here, I am not against self diagnosis. I use the tags for reach and I use certain terms relating to specific conditions because they describe my experiences.
Tags I'll use for me
The Hare Declares: general rambles
The Hare Ensnared: Attention farming
The Hare Cares: Music, art, poems, etc.
Beware The Hare: venting
DNI criteria, about me, and account info below!
DNI: kink accounts, I'm a minor and that's not what I want to see. No pedos or zoos contact or not it really just rubs me the wrong way. Other paraphilias are on thin ice but thats a nuanced subject I wont get into here. Neopronoun haters, BOO HISS! Cluster B abuse believers, I'm not saying the abuse didn't happen I'm just saying that the whole cluster didn't participate. Radqueers, some of it is alright but I'm not diligent enough to vet that and there's a big side of this community that I do not want around this space.
About me: I like listening to music and telling myself I'm cool. Psychology/ neuroscience is one of my only consistent interests. I'm otherkin and a therian, spiritually an angel, mentally a hare, physically a stoner. I'm diagnosed with MDD, which doesn't even touch the full scope of my mental disfunction but I'm rocking with it. I'll link my pronouns page at the bottom for more info.
Account info: this is a vent account. I'll put trigger warnings over hard topics but I have a lot to vent about so there may be a wide array of topics discussed. I smoke weed and I'm kind of an alcoholic, i'll probably talk about that a lot. I'm happy to answer asks but sometimes I get overwhelmed with DM's even though I love to talk. I say lots of things here that a minor probably shouldn't, if you're gonna be weird or hate on it then you can go. I don't endorse ED or SH and try to distance myself from it on this account, if you openly struggle that's fine I just won't interact much.
https://en.pronouns.page/@RandiHasFans
#intro post#vent account#mental illness#cluster b#the hare declares#actually mdd#self diagnosis#cluster a safe#cluster c safe#mental health#weedsociety
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I am curious, I've been watching the discourse going on for a bit without getting involved and at this point I feel like I have to ask.
What is the desired result here? Why are you engaging in the discourse at all? Clearly this is not a discussion, so what do you gain from interacting at all?
(I will send this to several people, just out of curiosity)
Alright anon allow me to explain what's been going on with me on my end.
The year is 2019 (yes, we're doing this). FE3H has just come out. I play it and rather enjoy it actually. I've got a couple of ships that I'm into, some fanfic I want to write, etc.
I go onto Reddit to chat with people about the game. Now I don't really like Edelgard, but I'm chill, I'm open to discussing the game and getting alternate viewpoints. Initially it's more or less fine.
Then some posts start coming up. People start getting really aggressive about this. I'm trying to have a conversation, but it feels like their goal is just to shout me down. I get in arguments, I get in fights, I get misgendered, I get called a bigot, I get frustrated, I get ablest rhetoric spewed at me, and I waste my life.
Stop. Take a look at myself. I'm literally sitting here arguing about Edelgard von fucking Hresvelg for hours of my day. I'm annoyed, I'm irritated, I'm always in a bad mood. Ugh.
Now it's 2020, early times I think. I resolve to stop looking at Reddit so much with regard to this game. It's not worth the hassle and the frustration. I should be, like, out doing things and having fun not wasting my time arguing with a bunch of weirdos on the internet. I want to have fun again, not be angry. I delete the Reddit app from my phone and install a blocker on my web browsers, even.
Start using Tumblr for more than just shippy stuff, and find people who agree with me, who are saying the things I've been saying. I stop feeling crazy for liking the game the way I like it. I make a few posts on my main blog but you know what, I don't really want my main blog embroiled in this shit, though I want to add my voice to the conversation. So I make this side blog.
Make some posts. I get flooded with asks from other people about the game, saying they agree with me and they're thankful that they aren't the only ones who think the way I do. I think within like a month of existing this blog had double the posts of my main blog (which has existed since 2016, so for four years at that point), most of them from asks.
The blog was initially for me to vent and throw in my two cents here and there, but I figure I'll keep it around in regular use because people seem to be benefiting from it.
Early on I tried to establish a rule for myself that 1) I wasn't going to go looking in any main tags (e.g. the Edelgard or Edelgard Positive tags) for stuff to reblog or talk about, and 2) I wasn't going to go into any Edelgard specific spaces looking for stuff to talk about (e.g. r/Edelgard or even Dimitri-critical tags). However, anything maintagged that was looking for a fight (e.g. a Dimitri-critical post in the main Dimitri tag) was fair game.
I'm not perfect, but I did try to stick to that rule. I talked about things that happened on the main FE Sub or FEH sub. I did my best to encourage my anons to not go seeking out stuff to bring back to me from Edelgard spaces. After all, this blog was meant for venting and having my own personal space where I could talk about my views without getting accosted. I thought it would be petty for me to go bring back stuff from other places.
Moving into 2021, I was kind of done with 3H. I was still getting like dozens of asks a day about 3H discourse. I'd answer one and five more would pop up in their place. By now we're like, well beyond 3x or 4x the amount of posts I have on my main blog. I'm getting kind of tired of it. It's a lot of the same points over and over and over. We're in pandemic times, so I can't even walk away from it and do something else IRL for a while before coming back to it. I feel like I'm wasting my life again. I feel like I've said anything and everything I could have possibly said about the subject. I ask people to stop talking to me about Edelgard. Eventually, everyone mostly obliges.
I still chat about it here and there, but I'm chatting about other stuff too. This blog is still about venting just about venting about more than 3H. A lot more petty fandom shit in general.
Now we're in, like, 2022. I don't remember exactly, Pandemic Time makes some of this a bit of a blur. I notice a new kid on the block, doing basically what I'd noticed happening on Reddit. Going into the wrong tags. Picking fights. Posting things in the wrong tags. Picking fights.
I'm over it, I'm done, I don't want to deal with this shit anymore. I block the dude. Most people I know block the dude or ignore him. We figure he's new here, he just hasn't learned the etiquette.
He gets increasingly hostile. I'm not really paying that much attention, just getting info about it from the fringes. Again, we figure eventually he'll just go away if we ignore him.
Then Nilsh gets harassed off the platform.
My mutuals are getting increasingly hostile anons and combative reblogs.
At this point I'm relatively unaffected. I guess because I don't tag anything, so he didn't find it.
And you know what? I'm still like "he'll get bored. He'll leave eventually." We were all like "just ignore him, he'll leave eventually."
People try to explain tags to him. Try to help him curate his experience so he quits arguing with people who don't want to talk to him all the time.
Then Moonlitboar gets harassed off of the platform. They take the URL. He's bragging about having done it. He's spreading this vitriol to other platforms and convincing others to join in on the harassment.
And I'm like. Okay. This dude isn't leaving. This is what he wants. His goal isn't to talk about this game—his goal is to hurt us.
I unblock him and respond. We go back and forth. He stops... for a time.
Here's the thing. I didn't re-block him after that, and I didn't do that for a couple of reasons. First, because at this point I'm still hopeful that he's just unaware of what he's doing, and that he'll acknowledge how messed up it was and apologize. I'm all for second chances. The second, because he's dangerous and I'm worried that if I don't keep tabs on him, he's going to try to hurt me.
It's not long until he's doing the same shit again. He tries harassing BWIIDT, he tries harassing FantasyInvader, he tries harassing Ezra, he tries harassing RandomNameless, he tries harassing Emblemxeno, he tries harassing Gascon, he tries harassing people I've literally never even heard of. I keep calling him out, and he tries harassing me. He calls me hysterical, accuses me of acting like a victim. Tries to make me feel stupid and small by saying I don't have anything worth his attention to respond to.
(By the way dude, my point about that was that you were being misogynistic but treating discourse like it was only worth responding to if it came from a man. See, I noticed that you only liked to attack people you thought were cishet white men like yourself, even if we were saying basically the same things at times. The fact that you continue not "debunking" any of my posts doesn't upset me; it proves my point)
He blocks me. I can't say for certain why, but my bet is that he realized people were actually listening to what I had to say, and having a queer woman question the actions he purported to be for the benefit of queer women wasn't a great look for him.
He's still trying to harass me. He's taking screenshots, he's using my name, he's @ ing me. He's casually lying about me. He's using sexist rhetoric implying that I shouldn't be listened to because I'm just too ~in my feelings~ and he's the true victim of my hysterical victimized martyr complex (geez, you sure a a feminist ally for that one, aren't you?)
You know, I did actual research when one of my anons accused him of being a trump supporter and tried to lie about him? I burned an entire evening on that, because I didn't want to be spreading lies about people. Meanwhile he lets his anons casually and repeatedly misgender me without so much as a passing correction, and he hangs out with people who spread lies and slander accusing others of heinous crimes.
And you know what? If I knew it was going to be like this? I'd still waste that evening and correct that anon. It's not about getting a petty win or convincing people he's a bad person for me. It's about being respected.
So to get back to your question. Why am I doing this? Because I have to. Because I know that if I don't he's going to hurt someone else, just like how he hurt Nilsh and Moonlitboar. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, after all. We ignored him and he didn't leave, so now we have to say something.
What's the desired result? I want to be respected, like I've tried to respect them for almost the entirety of this blog's existence. I want my boundaries acknowledged. I want him to stop hurting people for no other reason than to hurt them, because they don't agree with him.
When will I stop? When he stops.
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Are you ever you ever insecure about your art? And could you explain you answer to that?
Venting to you now
Drawing has taken a lot of effort for me, more than usual recently. I started working on something I originally felt really passionate about. It's more common for me to very quickly give up or get bored so I was really excited to be able to post some artwork. But I ended up not liking the result and I'm not sure if I'm willing to try something else. I've given up on trying in a lot of parts of life to try and save energy to do something I thought I was passionate about (art) but I am still lacking the motivation. The reason I reason I really wanted to share it was because I'm terrible with self-motivation. If I can't make at least one person genuinely go 'oh, neat' even for just a second and even if they soon forgot later, I'd feel like I'd have a reason to keep living (to keep making art). If the only people who'd see it end up disappointed I'd want to disappear.
It's not what art should be. I know it's value is like a person's. It's worth more than how someone reacts to it, right? But I can't apply that rule to myself. I should seek support from the people who 'know' and actually care about me, but I don't want their appreciation. I want some imagery status of a 'good artist' because that's what seems to give me dopamine.
I also wanted to mention how much I admire how open you are with your struggles. I want to be the same but I'm scared of people thinking less of me. I know that's dumb but I don't know what I'm good for if I can't make people happy. If I'm not going to be content with myself I want to not be a nuisance at least. I like to think that if I stopped caring about my impression on people, I'd be better off. But I'm scared that I'd have to learn to like myself. I don't like myself and I have no interest in liking myself. I don't see the point.
oh boy, this is gonna be a long one. also, don't take anything i say too seriously, i don't know your situation and I'm barely an adult. anyway, response under the cut
soo lately I'm less insecure about my art and more frustrated when things don't come out well. but i still post that shit !!! I'm still insecure if i'm doing, say, a project for homework, and i don't think i did as well as I could have, but in my personal artistic endeavors it's more about getting it done than it being perfect (for example, my webcomic! my motto is any comic made is better than no comic made and if people don't like that then it wasn't for them in the first place)
the thing about me is that drawing and art and stories is all i've ever had. it's my main form of interacting with the world. these days i make art the same way I live, which is to say in spite of wanting to kill myself. I would LIKE if my art was perfect, and i would LIKE to not be in pain. but i AM in pain and i have to live anyway, and my art ISN'T perfect but i'll make it anyway.
and i like when other people's art isn't perfect either, when it isnt super polished. I think that definitely helped. seeing artists whose work i fell head over heels for when it's never been more than sketches and a bit of shading. it really cemented in my mind that it isn't art being technically perfect that makes it worth while.
i've gotten a lot of people saying kind things to me, saying how much they enjoy my art and my blog in general. and though it doesn't always help, it sometimes inspires me to imagine the number of people who appreciate my stuff who might never mention it to me. I myself am used to lurking and not interacting very much (a habit I'm trying to change since I know artists & creators love feedback most of the time) i know it sucks to not know if anyone gives a shit for sure, but you really can't make that your only reason for doing art, cuz half the time you prolly wont even know if your art deeply affects people or not. it's fine to want that attention but you gotta have something else goin on too, at least I do.
i also know the fear of worrying that you'll lock yourself into something you don't want to do, or something you'll lose passion for. for me, I generally rotate a cast of characters & interests around for years a time before making significant progress. There were spans of times where I'd go years without thinking about loose stitches, but none of that time developing other stories & characters was wasted. it gave loose stitches enough time to properly cook, and the story is still developing under my hands as i draw it, influenced by my other stories and other characters.
it's ok to abandon something and pick it up again years later, or to never pick it up again at all. it's ok to hate the way something turns out but to keep making it anyway because you have to move forward (at least, I do)
moving forward despite not liking the original product is the only way to progress, I think. I don't super like a lot of the first pages of loose stitches but I'm still grateful that past-me posted them because that means present me is at page 76 !!
If I can't make at least one person genuinely go 'oh, neat' even for just a second and even if they soon forgot later, I'd feel like I'd have a reason to keep living (to keep making art). If the only people who'd see it end up disappointed I'd want to disappear.
the problem with this mindset (in my opinion) is that some people aren't going to like your art and that's got nothing to do with the art itself. if you want to find people who go "oh, neat" then you have to keep posting until they see it. trust me, they're out there. like, i don't post for people who can't stand the idea of child abuse, i post to FIND people who want to interact with stories about child abuse the same way i do.
it would be insane to stop trying to find those people because someone else was disappointed or upset by my art. which isn't to say you gotta lock yourself into doing one thing, but that you gotta post what you care about, and people who also care will find it. posting fandom stuff with the same themes as your original art certainly doesn't hurt either, if you REALLY want to find those people faster.
It's not what art should be. I know it's value is like a person's. It's worth more than how someone reacts to it, right? But I can't apply that rule to myself. I should seek support from the people who 'know' and actually care about me, but I don't want their appreciation. I want some imagery status of a 'good artist' because that's what seems to give me dopamine.
art should be literally whatever. it's worth is literally whatever you want, it can be a big deal or not. i'm not sure what part of being a "good artist" gives your brain the Good Feelings juice but I'd investigate that feeling more and try to figure out the roots of it, cuz then you might actually be able to figure out what it is that motivates you. approval is nice, yes, but i like approval for things i enjoyed making even more.
I also wanted to mention how much I admire how open you are with your struggles. I want to be the same but I'm scared of people thinking less of me. I know that's dumb but I don't know what I'm good for if I can't make people happy. If I'm not going to be content with myself I want to not be a nuisance at least. I like to think that if I stopped caring about my impression on people, I'd be better off. But I'm scared that I'd have to learn to like myself. I don't like myself and I have no interest in liking myself. I don't see the point.
i always find it amusing when people refer to my "struggles" if only because I don't really consider them that way. to me it's just like, a thing that happened that sucks. i don't consider myself "struggling" with it, even though I guess that's what's happening. also, let's be real here, it's not like I'm using my real name. this is an anonymous tumblr blog. though, my openess on here has actually lead to me making more art about it IRL so. eh.
anyway, lucky for you, you can stop caring about what other people think without necessarily liking yourself! for me, it's about spite (sort of). I don't like myself much more than I used to, I just decided I hated everyone else more haha. I still care what people think about me, and I'm still scared of what people might do to me, but I'm also not bending over backwards to please people i dislike. I just get annoyed at them instead.
i did this basically just by repeating it until it became true, lol. there's only so many times you can petulantly say "well fuck those guys anyway they suck" before it becomes your true first reaction.
at some point, i decided i needed to pick and choose who i wanted to please, because it can't be everyone. that's just literally not possible. so i looked at the kinds of people i liked and appreciated, and basically disregarded everyone else. it's the whole "don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from" thing (not sure where that comes from)
obviously you should probably try to internalize the idea that you even HAVE to be "good for something" but that's way easier said than done. i find it more useful to devote yourself to finding a few things (causes, people, philosophies, niche interests) instead of just general usefulness. because then you can form stronger relationships, be useful, AND not burn yourself out trying to please everyone.
take all this advice with a grain of salt though, I definitely need therapy and this Bitter Angry Defensive persona will probably need to be deconstructed soon... idk. i think it's outlived its usefulness to me but i'm not sure what to do next hahah.
sorry if none of this was helpful or the point. im not even sure why i wrote this much, i kind of just ramble sometimes. i hope you figure it out!
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Intro I guess
Ello! I'm your local creature! I am a minor so feel free to leave if that makes you uncomfortable! People over 18 can interact just don't be weird (duh)! I do not require tone tags but I do use them a lot! If you have them in your pinned I'll try to keep that in mind but I might forget! You can call me Tor or Theo! I'm also fine with the terms 'good dog' and stuff along those lines (species euphoria go brrrrrrrrr)
My theriotypes/Kintypes are: Tyrannosaurus rex, Great plains coyote, Bottlenose dolphin, Long-eared owl, Melanistic Spinosauridae cladotherian, Blue jay and Harlequin great Dane! I am questioning wolfkin! I'm also a Shirshu fictotherian, along with being a Dragon and Merfolk kin!
I use He/It/That! I love FNAF, Gravity falls, Wings of fire, Hazbin hotel, and Dinosaurs so expect me to reblog or post a lot about that stuff! I am a Singlet so please don't try to drag us into system discourse! (I also like to use the term 'we' and 'us' to refer to myself, so keep that in mind)
My vent tag is 'The Rex growls' and my original posts related to my Tyrannosaurus paleotherianthropy is 'Rexy rumbles'
I'll update my DNI whenever I feel like I need to
Peace out bros!
DNI under cut
I am not comfortable with you using the term 'kinnie' for me. If you use it you can still interact, just don't use it for me. Please and thank you ^^!
DNI: 18+ BLOGS, PRO CONTACT FOR HARMFUL AND NON-CONSENSUAL PARAS (ZOO, PEDO, NECRO, ETC), PROSHIP, R@CISTS, ANTIKIN, ANTI LGBTQIA+, ANTI MOGAI, TRUMP SUPPORTERS, SEXISTS, TERF, TRUSCUM, PEOPLE WHO THINK ALL AGE/PET REGRESSION IS NSFW, NSFW AGERE/PETRE, RADQUEER, N@ZI, NEON@ZI, SUPPORT THE GENOCIDE AGAINST PALESTINIANS
#paleotherian#therian#therian community#therianthropy#otherkin community#otherkin#tyrannosaurus rex Therian#Coyote Therian#cat therian#raccoon therian#Blue jay therian#dolphin therian#Toothlesskin#Blitzokin#Willaimkin#fnafkin#dragonkin#eldritchkin#godkin#deitykin#divinekin#kitsunekin#Goddesskin#Eldritch goddeskin#mangle kin#Funtime freddy kin#Fetchkin#Fetch fictionkin#fictionkin#Nightcrawler kin
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So...
I'm just gonna put the stuff you guys need to know here and vent a bit later in the post. The deal is, I don't really know what's going on with me, so I'll be taking a bit of a break, about a week or so I'm hoping. I'm still planning on opening the requests somewhere around seven in the evening tomorrow (Finland time, I don't remember the time zone but probably EET at this time of year), so it would be about 32 hours from now. I'll make an announcement post tomorrow when I open the requests, so maybe turn on notifications for this blog so you don't miss it, if you want to send a request. The requests will be open for 24 hours or a bit more, depending on how many request I get.
Me complaining starts here, so if you don't want to read, don't.
Like I said, I don't really know what's going on with me at the moment. I feel irritated and overwhelmed with pretty much everything, and I don't know what's causing it. I've got major impostor syndrome about the whole "I'm pretty sure I've go autism thing", because what if I don't? What if I just came up with all this stuff and started acting like I'm autistic because I thought I have autism? I don't have an official diagnosis, and Idk if I even want to go through the whole process for that, but I'm gonna talk about it with my psychiatrist next week.
I mean I'm like 99% sure I have autism, because I've been doing research and looking back on my life for almost the last year. I've also been talking to family and long time friends too and as long as I just ask about things without mentioning it's related to autism, they've confirmed a lot of the stuff I can't remember myself. My BFF of 17 years also got her ADHD diagnosis recently, so I'm starting to understand why she's the only friend I can stand regularly, and who doesn't cause my social battery to die immediately. It's the same for her with me, and neither of us has other friends who we are in contact with regularly.
I'm also waiting for the school acceptance email. It's supposed to come on 15th of June at the latest, and I'm pretty nervous about it. I did get all the credits I needed on time, and I also did the whole application thing on time, so it should be fine. I just won't stop stressing about it until I get the email, no matter which way it goes. I'm really looking forward to going to school in the fall, and I hope I get accepted to the degree program.
I hope you're all doing well and even thought I'm stressed, I'm actually doing pretty good :D
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I can't eat breakfast for lunch because then I'm as tired as after dinner. - my dad 2022
✿ INTRODUCTION ✿
Im Polish and i might make mistakes! (I speak English and learn Russian at school)
They/it/he/she -> you can refer to me however really
Polutek and other nicknames are fine, pet names, and so on. Just dont don't use offensive ones pls!!
I'm 18 but i hardly ever post nsfw things, if anything - soft gore/gore. I'm putting warnings tho (at least im trying so you can remind me if you'll see something that might disturb and is has no warnings/tags)
I'm in many fandoms so theres a lot going on here
You can always send me asks, just dont be a dick and dont vent to me pls. You can tell me about your feelings but i'm not very good with them so dont expect too much.
YOU CAN SEND ME QUESTIONS, DOODLES IDEAS AND SO ON. I don't promise i'll answer to all of them but i'll try
Tags and other blogs under cut
My blog about @/promiseland-larp project (Polish new gen slenderverse project) -> @thatskindasilly
Blog with weird/dream core project i'll be doing with my friends -> @w-h0le--world
Tags
#silly ghostface - just doodles of some kind of Ghostfacesona?? Idk
#polutek art - my art, all kinds
#polutek ocs - just my ocs, i post about them from time to time
I think that's all for now! Thank you :33
#. - posts that im not sure how to tag but i think they might be a bit off for some people. Talking about consuming/specific expression of love and so on
#thoughts - thoughts?? But idk like... A bit deeper than "im wondering what's for dinner" or "i hate it when...". That one is mostly for me, lol. I sometimes get inspiration from these
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In your opinion, what makes a good weirdcore/ dreamcore photo
What elements have to be there
Also, are the word messages in the images just put in there for effect, or do they relate to real life and common fears?
Thanks
Btw I am currently trying to cross over this art aesthetic with traditional fine art and collage, so if your interested then I will post them on my Tumblr blog when done
Have a good one
gonna put this response under a cut bc it's long <3
hi! i'll go down the questions in a numbered list for easy formatting :)
"what makes a good wc/dc photo, what elements have to be there?" this is a really complicated question tbh! "good" is subjective of course and while that might not be what you're looking for, i think it's worth keeping in mind that i'm just one stranger on the internet -- plenty of edits that are/were loved on r/weirdcore or weirdcord are ones that i felt were underwhelming or even straight up not wc at all. that being said, i think a basic understanding of the fundamentals is a good idea for at least starting out, but don't let it limit you! the main like core tenets of weirdcore visuals are low quality (mostly via jpg compression but you can also use blurring, sharpening, and other effects to help embolden this for various purposes) and an older-web, less-polished/"corporate" feel to the images. plenty of wc images have super complicated visual effects, elaborately constructed menus, 3d models and renders -- which at least for the time looked futuristic -- but the visual glue that holds them together is that the presentation is less sleek and polished so that it gives off more of a 2000s era visual style. @mkr-2002 and @etherealascend are probably the editors that i think best illustrate the "more complex concept" end of this scale, making such elaborate digital collages that still retain the overall feel and look of the rest of the "genre" if you will. this answer is too long already but i'd say look around the big blogs, r/weirdcore and weirdcord if you want to join because they have the best understanding of it visually. OH and there is the aesthetics wiki page as well, but i don't know how up to date it is.
"are the word messages in the images just put there for effect, or do they relate to real life?" this is subjective, but i try to mix the two! some are very personal, some are completely made up. this goes for the sillier edits and for the more serious ones. i know some people view heavier, darker, "vent-ier" edits to be walking dangerously on the line between wc and traumacore, but it's really up to you to decide how you want to use the captions in that way. i'd personally be wary of using really common captions and tropes as they tend to make edits feel less unique overall, but even then some edits make them work! as with all art, the rules are a lot less concrete and more so guidelines you interact with before learning to break them.
"i am trying to cross over this aesthetic with traditional art and collage" interesting! i think the idea has a lot of potential, and i hope it goes well :)
#asks#not edits#JUST REALIZED I TYPED 'STRANGER ON THE IDIOT' INSTEAD OF INTERNET HELP#😭😭😭😭 killing me#help just learned its TENETS not tenants... dying#making weirdcore
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alright, new intro post, letsago.
a lot of people here call me candy which is fine. I'm candyskiez on AO3, and I write. this is both for me nerding out about my interests, and for me saying Stuff about myself here. I'm the host of a system so if you're shitty to systems, leave. I'm endo safe, I really don't give a shit about discourse. don't pry into my business and I won't pry into yours. I really just do not care. the world is on fire I cannot emphasize enough how little I give a shit about why there are people in someone's brain. we've all got bigger issues do you wanna talk about media analysis or not
I usually talk about:
the owl house
she ra
nimona
steven universe
occasionally I'll post about:
infinity train
arcane
spiderverse
I usually reblog things, but I do originally post some too.
tags I use:
#candyskiez ramblings nobody asked for, for me just Talking about random shit
#candyskiez oc bs, for ocs
#candyskiez vent. I try not to make them too often, but filter them out if needed
#friend shit, for dashboard conversations with my friends
I have trouble picking up on tone, sorry if I take a joke too literally. sarcasm also flies over my head, which sucks because I'm very sarcastic. you see my problem.
feel free to shoot me asks! I love chatting w people I'm just bad at starting conversations.
fic requests are closed. extremely, extremely closed. sorry gang
my pronouns are they/them
I'm not gonna make a full on DNI, but let it be known terfs are NOT welcome here and never will be.
don't bring ship discourse onto my posts.
my sideblogs under the cut
@sunflowersoap - omori account, I do NOT support omocat and I made this account to avoid making anyone uncomfortable by posting it on main.
@artmemeprompts - I reblog art and writing prompts on here and am potentially gonna make my own :]
@candyscry is my blog for original writing
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Here it is, the long awaited pin post (will be edited later)
If I have followed you and you are a dark/horror/goth/traumacore or Saltburn blog, it was @neurotheascars that hit the follow button.
(currently only on mobile)
Hello I'm Orn, I'm the alien system host of a 31 year old human body with 8 alters inside, this is just my blog though. I'm a mixed media artist and I know more mediums then I can remember to count. I give advice compulsively so if you have a weird art supply question my inbox is open and anons are on. I know all about glue, polymer, proper glitter use, and UV colors.
Aro/ace-spec, into men as a man and women as a women.
I'm also a green wizard and I've been doing weird art based magic for about 11 years
On this blog you'll find a nice mixed bag of the following: Precambrian explosion and Paleo fun, speculative biology, green magic and experimental occult content, 420 weed posting, plants, pendantic info dumps, artwork(both mine and not), web 1.0 tech nostalgia and autism/did/disability content!
I was formally diagnosed with the demand avoidant flavor of ASD when I was 7 and can't live alone but remain very independent in spite of my support needs. I have lots of trouble wording things and as an alter I've become hyper verbal out of a fear of being misinterpreted. ABA therapy abused my system into having a pretty convincing mask so Sorry Not Sorry but I am a living breathing wall of text in this space.
Other bs I deal with- DID, hypermobility, fibromyalgia, dyspraxia, low vision/legal blindness, irlen syndrome, complex synesthesia, hyperphantasia, and really uncontrolled maladaptive daydreaming
I grow cannabis in a legal state and use it to treat my various issues.
I am posic and objectum about plants and old technology and that is liable to come out a lot on this blog. I currently have a courting/platonic relationship with a Philodendron Solleum Named Basaran and a committed platonic partnership with a large MFC office printer named Leviathan. I've had several committed romantic relationships with older computers, but currently don't have an alive and well computer partner.
Other blogs I'm connected to:
My irl human(dog) partner is @guromechanical TW: don't go here if you're not fucked in the head 18+
@neurotheascars Saira's side blog, trauma holding alter, goth aesthetics and vent posts. TW for traumacore, unreality and blood/SH specifically. If you are a Saltburn, traumacore, or otherwise dark gothic blog it is most likely Saira that has followed you.
If Saira is co-fronting or informing a post here, it will be tagged with ⚔️
Saira has more severe difficulty with communicating and needs a bit more patience than me.
Finally:
Some things about interacting with me:
I sometimes struggle to reply to people in a timely manner, but you can always poke me for a response.
I never ask bad faith questions or make bad faith assumptions. I'm a safe person to talk to if you struggle to understand language because I have alters that struggle like that. If I'm not understanding something, an analogy usually helps.
I practice kindness and I will match your energy. I am a high empathy autistic and this means the worst name I'm gonna call anyone is an asshole and asshole is a title that is temporary and fleeting because even the humans I hate are humans who are alive and make mistakes. I dislike making people feel bad so I do not hurl insults. If you give me anon hate I'm just gonna wish you well. Anger is born of pain, even if misplaced. I receive rage like a wall, so don't bruise your fists on me please.
I try not to follow minors but if I have followed you for any reason and you don't want me to follow you just lemme know and I'll comply. No issues.
I prefer minors to not follow me, but reblogging @ing, hearting, ect is totally fine.
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GUYS GUESS WHO'S BACK... 'YAY'
so uh idk why i come back on tumblr every couple months and make posts like this but i've basically ruined my account at this point haha perfectionist issues and i'm going to try to be honest with everyone of you guys because. idek at this point
i don't know how everyone's opinion of me is at this point, and it feels like i'm ruining it. i don't know if this is me now, if i kind of put up a front before, but why these posts seem different than the others on my blog is a mystery to me ^^'
maybe i'm just overthinking it, though?
well, my life is pretty shit. i don't really have any friends, except for a couple close ones who can somehow deal with me-- and, yeah. people at my school don't really like me, and i've fucked up a lot recently. this post sounds really depressing. sorry for that.
i don't know, i guess prior to the whole incident (moots, yk what i'm talking about) i always tried to put up a cheerful front. i had an idealized version of myself, and that was koi. and i did act like myself a lot around you guys, because i became comfortable with all of you and i felt accepted. i'm really grateful for what you all have done for me.
so, more about what's going on- basically, i'm just... not happy with myself, i guess. i wish i had more friends.
you know, my goal in life at one point was to be friends with everyone in my grade. that was more than a year ago. i guess that whole hope pretty much died out. but i do still try my very best, and this is turning into a ramble which i'm sorry for but i just want to get everything off of my chest.
i'll probably never use tumblr regularly again- but, who knows, shit changes.
the incident really affected me. after i was told about everything and learned about all of what happened, i was just... i don't know. i was told that it was that day that i began to eat less, act angrier, and all of that shit- and that went on for a couple weeks.
eventually, i tried to forget about it. i still think about every once in a while, though.
well, i'm starting to sound like a pessimist. i miss when i could be koi, the friendly, cheerful, happy person who had a bunch of friends that worried about him and asked if he was feeling okay.
i don't even know what's going on anymore. i feel fine, and then i go through short spikes of depression. or maybe i'm just a person that's sad all the time, but i choose to be ignorant. i'm really sorry that whoever reads this has to hear me vent and all that shit, but i'm just glad that i can say all of my feelings in the hopes that someone will read this.
so, let's talk about what's been going on since i've left- since i really feel like i should add some filler because of my long absensce '- -
well, i got a suit that kind of reminded me of haruchiyo sanzu from tokyo revengers (haha weeb things) and i look pretty hot in it, ngl- and, my family moved back to our house, which got remodeled. i've done a lot of drawing, too.
and, for context of the tokyo revengers comment earlier- i've been hyperfixating on it for so long. i love the series and the characters aaa
also, i started bakuman and black butler, and they're pretty good! i love the plot of bakuman so much!! (the death note team always makes amazing manga) i also got the first book of haikyuu from the library, because i've seen it referenced online so much and i haven't taken the time to check it out yet.
whew. i don't know, i guess saying all this makes me sound more human than just pixels on a screen. (but i'm actually 3 ducks in a trenchcoat) (i'm not funny)
i've had a lot of homework, so i've been pretty busy.
and i have to go eat dinner now, so i'll be leaving- but again, thank you guys for being my friends for so long. and, why are people still following me when my blog is inactive like- ????
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Intro post!! Last updated 12.31.23 10:30pm
Last updated:about me
||About me||
Hiii!! I use a few names, the main ones I use are Bear and D'Angelo. I'm strictly a lee,and ler moods are very very rare
I usually Use Ishkode, D'Angelo and Bear more
@teddysterk my online twin :]
This is a SFW blog (I do swear though)
He/him pronouns only.
I'm 15,my birthday is October 26th
Proudly from the bay area
I'm two-spirit, I'm also kind of a wild mix of things, to be specific Jamaican, first nations, and polynesian/pacific islander (and a bit of European, Irish-Scott) . I'm gay (nwlnw) and polyamorous and I'm taken.
I'm currently on testosterone as well.
I'm an age regressor as well, my little ages range from 0-6, I usually regress to 1 though
I'm fine with talking to people 13-18+ but if you're 18+ don't be weird.
I'm a Juggalo, I'll explain if you don't know what that is
I'm learning Spanish and Japanese, I only know a little
I'm also learning Ojibwe and hawaiian, I know quite a bit/a lot
||interact, thin ice, DNI||
Interact;
Juggalos
Lucifer fans (Netflix series)
twisted metal fans
supernatural fans
mcyt fans
sitcom fans
artists
fanfic writers
marvel fans
thin ice;
genshin stans
only writes/draws feet tickles
DNI;
NSFW
basic DNI (homophobes, racists, sexists)
DDLG (and variants)
||tags||
I don't really use tags but I'll do my best to
#tickle
#Bears in a lee mood
#Ishkodes in a lee mood
#Ishlee
#icp
#headcanons
#vent
||other blogs||
@bearlee-sensitive is my old blog, I only go on it occasionally
||social media||
Instagram: skvll._.body, cool._.funky._.monkey
I also have Snapchat and tiktok but those you have to ask me for
||interests||
Reservation dogs
One piece (live action)
Marvel
A series of unfortunate events
Fairy tail
Brooklyn nine nine
Community
The big bang theory
The boondocks
Doctor who
2000s comedy movies
Supernatural
||boundaries||
Don't vent or talk about negative stuff without permission or a warning, unless I ask you like how your day was cause then I'm gonna be expecting
Don't guilt me into doing something for you (especially lering)
Don't out me as trans/two spirit, gay ect to anyone. Ask me first if you can tell them, I feel like this should probably go without saying
My pronouns are he/him/his, don't use they/them for me it makes me uncomfortable. I'm fine with it/its but please. Just use he/him
Don't force me to ask for anything (like teases, tickles ect) if I say I don't want to
If I say I like something please don't go on a rant about how much you hate it
Don't drag me into drama or fights.
If I say I want to use another name don't say shit like "But I liked your last name, you'll always be *the last name* to me" If I say I want to keep using that name just not as much then you can keep calling me it
Don't ask me personal questions without permission
Don't try to somehow change me into being monogamous, I'm a Polyamorous person, that's not gonna change cause you want it to.
Don't call me any nickname that I only allow my romantic partner to call me. They're only allowed to call me that for a reason.
Don't talk about people behind their back around me. It pisses me off.
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look at that, I'm capable of making a half decent pinned post!
artist, writer, and crafter (with too little time in the day for anything)
we absolutely love getting asks and dms, we don't bite! we just have extreme anxiety that makes replying a little harder than it is for most people <3 patience means a lot
main fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist, Persona 5, Danganronpa (especially SDR2), Ace Attorney, One Piece (currently ~160 episodes in, no spoilers!), and lots of other things that I don't want to spam space with, if you've seen us rb stuff related to it we're probably brainrotting over it at some point!
Links:
@and-im-fine writing blog! I post bits of wips here, and eventually links to finished fics too <3
@living-avarice other writing blog specifically for my Greed Lives AU longfic
Greed Character Playlist: YouTube Music / Spotify I add to it every so often and have lots of fun with it so you should go listen <3
we use the tag #dol-talks for most of our general talky posts, "#my art" for our art, and #vent-ish for vents and complaining
system related info under cut:
We're The Aerie, a fictive-heavy DID system! chances are if we've shown that we're into something, we've probably split an alter from it at some point (aka the "I know we joke about having the entire cast of fullmetal alchemist in here, but we really don't need to keep splitting guys from there whenever we're stressed it's ok" system)
some of the alters you might see around:
🪙 Greed (he/him, old because. homunculus. but maturity wise around my 30s probably): the host with the most, that's me! <333 I love talking to people so much and need attention to survive pretty please send me things it makes me so happy <3 I'm the one who runs the writing blogs! I love making content about my source so much <3 oh you can also call me Dol, it's both a "normal" alt name for me and our general name right now (but if you don't specify you're talking to me I'll assume you're talking to us as a whole)
🦾 Ed (he/him, late teens): co-host! bit of a mixed source because I fused with a fragment from the last host at some point (Greed note: he wasn't fronting at all before I started typing his thing, he didn't trust me to do it LMAO)
🤍 Kim (he/she, 34): ex-persecutor, part time gatekeeper, full time diseased
🃏 Ren (he/him, 19): caretaker for our littles and teens, he has a hard time using words and normally talks with emojis and pictures! he absolutely loves people
🖍️ (little): not including her name for now, but we reblog things with #🖍️ when they're meant for her! if you send us things you think she might like you'd win gold stars in so many peoples books
...and more! we'll at least use emoji signoffs if not names too if it's someone specific talking and they want to identify themself <3 feel free to send asks for anyone you see unless they specifically say they don't want it!
#system intro#pinned post#writing this at 5am i might edit it when i'm more awake#did system#system posting
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