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dancingazaleas · 3 years

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eren yeager | best friend’s brother (smut)

ok i’m sure this is kind of surprising since i don’t really speak of eren

also no i don’t want to talk about how this is based off of victorious

warnings/notes: cursing, mikasa and eren are brother and sister, drummer!eren, modern au, secret relationship, everyone is 19, nsfw, eventual smut, slight dubcon, slight vouyerism, spanking, clit slapping, degradation, slight praise, choking, tummy bulge, edging, overstimulation, breeding kink, minors dni with this post pls, tell me if i missed anything

you know exactly who’s all going to be home whenever you call mikasa. but you still ask, like you always have, in order to lessen suspicion.

“it’s just me, eren, and zeke. i think zeke has pieck over tonight,” she sighs in slight annoyance, “wanna watch a movie when you come over?”

you tell her yes just as you turn on mikasa’s street. you both hang up with a goodbye, and you feel excitement bubbling in your gut as your car drives you closer and closer to eren. you practically jump out of your car whenever it’s parked on the curb of mikasa’s house.

you squeal while skipping up to the front door, punching in the numbers on the keypad lock without looking. you shut the door quietly after you enter the home, taking in the multiple smells from all three siblings living in the house.

you’ve got to hand it to zeke, he’s got amazing taste. whenever grisha and his mother died, he inherited a lot of money from them and decided to buy himself a home. however, it changed when he found out eren’s mother died and that eren and their adoptive sister, mikasa, would be going into foster care. and with zeke being 19, a legal adult, he managed to fit the roll as a guardian for the two of them. they’ve all lived together for a couple of years now, and you’ve come to enjoy the dynamic between them all whenever you’re staying there for a while.

“oh hey, (name). when’d you get here,” zeke asks whenever you walk into the kitchen, he’s probably getting himself those finger sandwiches he buys himself.

“just now. mikasa in her room,” you stretch and peek over zeke’s shoulder to see what the fridge contains.

“should be. can you get out of my fridge,” he nudges you back with his elbow, which you ignore.

“do you have any baby belle cheese,” you shove him aside with your hip.

“yeah, we do,” you turn to look over your shoulder to see eren walking into the kitchen.

you have to stop yourself from running into his arms, instead starting to rummage through the drawers of the big refrigerator. zeke leaves the kitchen, but you only know that because eren’s front his pressing against your back and warm arms wrap around your waist and his head head rests on your shoulder to whisper in your ear.

“didn’t tell me you were coming over tonight,” he mocks disappointment while you take a baby bell cheese.

“wanted it to be a surprise,” you smile, stepping away from the fridge and opening the packaging of the cheese. eren still clings to you.

“it was a nice surprise,” he kisses at the back of your ear while he squeezes you tight.

you turn your head to look at eren, puckering your lips for a sweet kiss.

eren, not being able to say no to you, obliges and gives you a sweet and lingering kiss on your lips. he pouts whenever you pull away and plop the cheese in your mouth, moving away from him to throw away the wrappings.

“ask mikasa to watch a movie with me,” he requests—more like demands.

“sure,” you nod, “i’ll see you in a few minutes.”

you trudge out of the kitchen and up the stairs, barging into mikasa’s dark room. you watch her jump in her bed, obviously frightened with the abrupt entrance.

“hi hi,” you chant while closing the door behind you, jumping onto her bed next to her.

“you scared me.”

“i know,” you roll your eyes, “wanna watch a movie downstairs?”

“depends... what movie?”

you hum, “maybe the addams family, something like that.”

“yeah, if it’s the addams family then i’ll watch,” she says, scrolling through instagram.

“wanna see if eren will watch,” she asks you while she likes a post by sasha on her phone. the picture was of her, jean, and connie.

“sure, i’ll text him,” you pull out your phone, immediately pulling up eren’s contact and messaging him.

luckily, you’re able to hide the lovey dovey messages sent from eren. you text that mikasa does want to watch a movie and to be downstairs in three minutes.

“he said yea,” eren hadn’t even replied yet.

mikasa and you get off of her bed, making your way down the hallway and down the stairs while talking.

“popcorn?”

“yea, sounds so good right now,” you sigh happily, “we gonna cuddle?”

mikasa snickers at your question, “of course.”

you laugh a little before pushing her in the direction of the kitchen, settling yourself down in the middle on the long sofa. you pull up the addams family on the tv, smiling gently whenever eren comes in the room with his phone in his hands.

“sit at my feet, i’m cuddling with mikasa,” he scoffs at the claim, but puts your legs in his lap.

mikasa comes back into the room with a bowl of popcorn in her hand and some sodas in her hands. she manages to flip the light switch off in the living room while on her way to put everything on the coffee table in front of you. mikasa sits down when you lift your head, welcoming the weight of your head coming down her clothed thighs.

before you start the movie, mikasa asks eren, “do you have rehearsal tomorrow?”

“yeah. jean and annie’ll be here at like 11,” he sighs in slight frustration just as you start the movie.

“sucks for you,” you snort absentmindedly, pulling the bowl of popcorn into your body on top of your stomach.

eren flicks your leg with his fingers while mikasa ignores the both of you and continues to watch the movie.

during the movie, you notice a text from eren that asks you to stay with him after his rehearsal tomorrow, claiming that mikasa and zeke should be out of the house.

you turn off your phone with a giddy smile. you have a good feeling about tomorrow.

————

you’re laying in eren’s bed while he practices his drumming with his band in a few rooms over. you text mikasa the whole time, who’s telling you about some drama between zeke and her cousin, levi. well, it’s not really drama, levi and zeke just have a love-hate friendship. it makes you laugh, especially since the usually cocky and narcissistic man known as zeke was usually getting his ass chewed out by levi.

“i’m so horny,” eren groans while he walks into the room. menace.

you roll your eyes at him, continuing to text mikasa. eren’s pouting as he flops down next to you, face pressing against your neck.

“didn’t you just get out rehearsal? how do you have energy after drumming for an hour and a half,” you ignore the nipping of eren.

“‘dunno,” he sighs against your skin, sending chills up and down your spine.

you shut off your phone, throwing it to the side and pulling eren from your neck. you kiss him, to which he reciprocates happily, while he goes to straddle your waist.

his hands are already groping at your chest and his breath is already heavy against your mouth.

you pull away, “have you been horny since the beginning of rehearsal??”

he grumbles out a yes while he bites and sucks at your neck. your laughter is interrupted by a gasp when eren bites particularly hard on your neck. his hands creep up under your shirt, only to find a surprise.

“you’re not wearing a bra,” he asks, pushing the shirt up over your boobs.

“didn’t feel the need to,” you mumble with embarrassment as eren’s eyes stare at your chest.

without a second thought, his lips are attached to one tit, sucking hickies onto the skin around your areola. you whimper when he punches and twists a nipple with his fingers, chest slightly bucking up and burying his face further into your tits. eren feels like he’s in heaven.

when eren pulls away, he takes a moment to admire your tits. bruised and abused, glistening with his saliva under the lights in his room.

“pretty,” he mumbles, finally pushing your shirt entirely off of your body.

you wiggle your hips as a signal that eren takes. he’s ridding himself of his shirt and pants before he takes off your own pants. his fingers just barely swipe across the outsides of your thighs, giving you goosebumps.

eren’s spreading your legs apart, staring at the wet stain on your panties. you try to push your hips in his face, but eren swings his left arm around your hips to hold them down. his right hand is teasingly stroking your clit through the thin fabric of your underwear. each swipe of his thumb has your whole body tensing, something that has him smirking.

“please,” you bite your lip while you stare into his eyes.

instead of indulging in your desires, he’s pulling his body away from the spot between your legs. only to take off your underwear, and then settle between your legs again.

“you’re all wet and i’ve barely done anything,” he comments, running a fingertip against your slit.

you whimper whenever eren shoves two of his fingers inside of you unexpectedly. he doesn’t give you time to adjust to his fingers, immediately setting himself a tempo as he fucks you with his fingers.

moaning and acting without thinking, your hand tugs at his long hair. he almost immediately pulls his fingers outside of you, fingertips slapping at your needy clit. your hips buck while you apologize.

“pull my hair like that again and you won’t get to cum,” he resumes his finger fucking, slightly smiling at how your hands immediately go to grip at the sheets now. he’s trained you so well.

“do you hear that,” he snickers while curling his finger, squelch sounds following after.

“cumming! cumming,” you pant a few moments later, eyes squeezing shut.

eren immediately pulls his fingers out of you, resulting in a cry from you. he laughs sadistically as he repeats the process over and over and over again, so much that you’ve lost count, tears now running down your cheeks. he lets you come this time, admiring the blissed out look on your face as you moan wantonly.

but his hand moves to your clit now, listening to your pleading that you’re too sensitive.

“shut up and take it,” he stops his maneuvers on your clit to slap your clit again.

you yelp and buck your hips, starting to open your mouth to plead until he starts rubbing your clit again. you orgasm quickly, back arching against eren’s mattress.

“eren,” you whimper, legs shaking while eren pulls his hand away.

“what do you want, pretty girl,” he sits on his knees, looking down at your crying face.

“more,” you sniffle, small hand reaching out for him.

“more of what,” he raises a taunting eyebrow, catching your wrist in his hand, “c’mon, use your words, you’re a big girl.”

“you... more of you.”

“that’s not an answer,” he reaches down to wipe away a tear.

“want you inside me,” you pout and wiggle your hips again.

“you want it or need it?” he smirks while tilting his head.

you whine, “need it. need you here, ‘ren.”

you guide his hand to your tummy while you speak and eren feels his cock throb in his boxers.

“fuck,” he groans, roughly flipping you over to lay on your stomach.

you yelp, reaching out to hold onto the pillow your head was just laying on. he’s forcing you to arch your back, and the way he forces you to do it is almost unrealistic. he’s tossing his boxers across the room for him to search for later, reaching down to pump his cock in his hand.

his hands lay heavy on your ass, spreading your plump cheeks apart to get a better view.

your cheek squishes against the pillow as you stare at him over your shoulder, needy pout on your face. he chuckles at your eyes closing whenever he finally shoves his huge cock inside of you.

“so big,” you sob, “so big, ren.”

he ignores you, pulling him cock out of you until the tip before slamming his hips against your ass. you yelp as soon as eren starts to thrust in and out of you ruthlessly. so hard that you’re sure you’ll have bruises on the back of your thighs for a few days.

however, his hips still whenever he hears the front door of the house creaking open and a voice calling out.

“eren! i’m home,” mikasa calls out while she shuts the door behind her.

you reach your hand back to shove eren off of you, not wanting to risk the chance of mikasa even hearing you. eren grabs your wrist with one hand while the other slaps your asscheek harshly.

“okay, i’m about to take a nap,” he replies to mikasa, knowing full well she’s already making her way up the stairs.

“okay,” she replies, going into her room. her room that’s right next to eren’s.

“eren,” you whisper, “she’s gonna hear.”

“don’t act so innocent,” he growls, “i bet you want mikasa to hear. to hear just how you’re getting fucked like the slut you are.”

you whimper, “no... no.”

“want her to hear how good you’re feeling,” eren smiles sadistically as you turn your head to bury your face in the pillow.

he hears your whining faintly whenever he starts to thrust his hips again. your moans are being muffled by his pillow, and even so, you’re sure that mikasa knows what’s going on by the sound of eren’s skin slapping against your own.

he puts his hands onto your shoulders, leaning his weight onto you as he speeds up his thrusts. you’re almost screaming in his pillow now, nails clawing at the sheets under you.

“gonna come,” he groans breathily, “you gonna come when mikasa’s in the next room over?”

he watches you nod your head, which makes him bite his lips while releasing a groan.

he whispers in your ear, spitting out a command for you, “go ahead. go ahead and cum like the slut you are. give mikasa a show.”

you moan loudly into his pillow, pussy fluttering around his fat cock as you orgasm.

he fucks you through it, not slowing down his fast and vigorous thrusting.

“hurts,” you cry.

“don’t care,” he says, reaching a hand around your body to grip onto your neck.

he’s pulling you up with him, back flushed against his front as he thrusts wildly. you look like a mess, saliva dripping down your chin along with your tears, eyes glossed over.

your hand touches against your tummy gently, whimpering at the feeling of the bulge that is eren.

“feel you,” you mewl quietly, “feel you here, ‘rennie.”

he presses the hand not wrapped around your neck against your tummy, groaning out. his thrusts speed up at full speed, something he does not do often, but eren’s eager to fuck his seed inside of you.

“gonna cum, gonna fuck my kids into your slutty pussy,” he grumbles, slapping a hand over your mouth whenever it opens to moan.

“you want that, huh? w-want me to fuck a kid into you? maybe then mikasa’ll get the hint,” his voice is shaky when he feels you tighten around him.

he snickers, “fuckin’ slut. tightening around me whenever i spew that shit. you want her to hear you being fucked stupid, huh?”

you shake your head while you shut your eyes again. another orgasm is approaching, and you’re not sure that you can handle holding it in.

eren notices and decides to take pity on you.

“go ahead, cum,” and you do. you gush all over his cock and sheets, hands scratching at his wrist as you scream into the palm of his hand.

“fuck,” he hisses whenever he feels his balls tighten.

he comes not too long after you, finally slowing his pace down to a grind. he lets you drop onto the bed on your tummy, spreading your legs open to admire how his cum leaks out of you.

you’re absolutely sure that mikasa heard, but you’re too fucked out to care. she’ll confront you if she knows, and that’s when you’ll worry.

but then again, your best friend’s brother is irresistible.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #tw: dubcon #eren aot #eren yaegar #attack on titan eren #snk eren #eren x you #eren smut #eren jeager x reader #eren jeager smut #eren jeager #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #aot smut #snk smut

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bular · 3 years

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Welcome to Live Commentary

I had no one to talk to while watching the movie and I hate being alone with my thoughts so I wrote everything down in my notes app. It's not coherent! Enjoy!

Aw yeah 1.5 seconds of Bular that is all I needed! Might as well stop now I've seen my boy I'm satisfied.

Why is there a nearly 4 minute recap as if I haven't watched the show at least 50 times. I should be the one giving the recap.

The beginning felt a bit forced to me but maybe that's just me? Like they just tried to squeeze too many things into a small timeframe without any buildup, it just didn't really work. Congrats on the engagement! This is my OTP so I'm very happy! But it came out of nowhere.

Nari in Douxies body is so wrong and I love it and hate it at the same time (positive)

Eli is BIG. I knew he was gonna be tall but I was not prepared for that chiseled face. Or the fact that he stepped off the ship without glasses? I wear glasses and I would not choose to step off a spaceship blind.

OkAY who had mpreg on their bingo card?

AAARRRGGHH actually said a full sentence 🥺 there is no heterosexual explanation for this scene and I'm here for it

Arcadia being the center of the universe really does make a lot of sense. I hate how much sense it makes. Despise it.

Strickler in a Christmas sweater is something i didn't know I needed. Jim's jacket too but that's just adorable, Jim's adorable. Oh sweet baby you're about to get fucked over so bad.

Love seeing Barbara actively participating in battle too. Good for her! Power family!!

Where are the kids tho? Is NotEnrique babysitting? Either that or they hired the girl from the Incredibles movie.

Nomura is so talented I love seeing her fighting on the good side. I can't explain it but I love digitigrade legs they're just so pretty?? Aesthetically pleasing??? Fuck yeah, legg! I could watch Nomura run around and be badass all day.

WAIT NO OH SHIT HOW DARE YOU FUCK

STRICKLER DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE NOT YOU TOO THAT'S TOO FUCKING RUDE DON'T DO THIS TO ME

THERE'S NO WAY HE'S DEAD RIGHT WE SAW NO BODY

Barbara does not deserve this I refuse to accept it. He's fine he'll be back they wouldn't kill two Changelings at once. Also Nomura is with Draal now I take no criticism.

So my favorite characters were Bular, Draal, Gunmar and Angor. And before this movie I always half-joked that everyone I love dies, how I still like Strickler and Nomura but apart from them all of my faves were killed in the very order of favoritism. AND NOW LOOK AT THIS. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LOVE A CHARACTER. MY LOVE IS TOXIC.

OKAY I LOVE GUN RO- WAIT NO I DON'T LOVE HIM FUCK ABORT ABORT

It's great tho omg

I didn't realize it was Gun Robot when I saw it in the trailer this is amazing

Okay but imagine you're chilling in your trollmarket minding your own business when some misfit group of strangers waltzes in, steals your favorite shiny and celebrates your death before running off

"I AM GUN ROBOT" IS THE HORN LMAOOO

Nana better show up at some point to reunite with her boytoy, I'll cancel this entire franchise otherwise

Something bad is going to happen to Toby isn't it. He's getting too much screentime

Jim's hand got DEEP FRIED

ARCHIE NO

We can play Scrabble okay if they don't free them (which they must) I want an after credits scene of them playing scrabble

Douxie and Nari's bond 🥺🥺🥺

Nari pls just say what you fuckin mean the world is ending

Oh god is she going to remember killing Nomura oh nooo

Claire don't make the portal you will die again. Your hair gon be white all over

EVERYONE AVOIDING THE SCHOOL JUST RIGHT THERE LMAO RIP

I love how Darci is just with the school bus. Civilian girlfriend. But also love how the world is ending and Coach is like "fuck that I'm gonna teach these kids"

Does he know his son is pregnant

"Going back to the city where it's safe" buddy have you been to that city

Whatever happens, Nari has the coolest looking titan. Giant four legged gremlin. I'd adopt him.

WAIT SHE CAN FEEL THE PAIN?

Me: oh i love that titan

The titan 5 seconds later:

Did Nari just fucking die what the FUCK

Oh of COURSE the pages are stuck together RIGHT THERE

Seriously tho how do you not notice an entire nougat nummy in a book

Wait so Arcadia has another heartstone? Or OH SO IT'S ALIVE. OKAY GREAT. GUNMAR COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT HUH

Love how the Heartstone has been dormant/dead for months and apparently heard Blinky say it's alive and decided to wake up RIGHT THEN

Finally they're evacuating the city. This is like, the third apocalypse there. About time.

Okay so you can't pull Excalibur from the rock, but you CAN carve out the stone. Couldn't you just carve it off the sword as close as possible and like. Use that? Just swing the whole damn rock around?

God i can NOT get over Steve's pants. I mean I read a spoiler he was gonna be pregnant but I thought it was a prank or shitpost. I did not see this coming and I am never going to be over it. I love how he and Aja just roll with it and nobody else even cares. They've seen weirder stuff. So he's pregnant now. Whatever.

Jim's hand is bandaged and his ribs still hurt. I love that they're actually consistent with his injuries. I mean sucks for him but hell yeah for hero that doesn't always win!

Okayyy here comes the heartstone. Why not!

IS HE IN LABOR

So if you kiss an Akiridion 7 times you will have 3-5 babies in a few hours. How are they not overpopulated?? Also Aja couldn't have WARNED STEVE BEFOREHAND?

Eli is so supportive omfg

So uh where are the babies gonna come out of? I'm not into mpreg how does this usually work

OH STEVE THANKS FOR ASKING MY QUESTION

Oh good thing he happens to have 8 friends still alive. Otherwise this would've never worked. Nomura had to die otherwise there would've been 10 of them.

Why is everyone bowing to Jim? Did they rehearse this?

Stuart if you hadn't taken a bathroom break you would've thrown off the math and doomed the world. That was a poop of fate my man

Ahhh the signature quote. Where did Douxie and the Akiridions learn it? Did they rehearse this too? It's really cliché but I do like it tbh

If Strickler were dead we'd see more Barbara right?

WOOO BLINKY DRIVING

Ah Jim just used she/her for Bellroc! Finally we're learning some pronouns. I've been wondering this whole time.

MY VIRGIN EYES. WHAT IS GOING O N

How are they not dying with all this lava?

She really just yeeted Varvatos

Did Claire just tell AAARRRGGHH to jump off the titan and he did it without question

I want to say I like Stuart and want him to have more screentime, but I won't say it because I don't want him to die

Jim's poor ribs

Toby can drive yoooo

Tobyyy you're scaring meeeee

So did they really need the different stone or was the amulet just waiting for Jim to choose death over giving up

I saw the armor before but it looks VERY COOL

Also I didn't mention this before but I love that they cut Merlin's name from the incantation. Good for them.

Toby you lost your helmet noooo

For real tho I'm terrified for Toby rn. I saw a comment somewhere earlier that just said "Toby no" with no context and I am AFRAID

So do Bellroc's eyes work after all? I thought she was blinded back in Wizards in the past.

DID SHE JUST FUCKING STAB MY BOY

TOBY YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE GET OUT THE TRUCK

Bellroc maybe screaming "i'm powerless" in front of your enemy isn't the best idea

She sploosh

DID JIM SURVIVE THAT FALL AND ALSO IS THE TACO TRUCK OKAY

How is he lifting Claire like that buddy you have bruised ribs and just got stabbed

ELI HI CAN WE SEE THE KIDS

SEVEN KIDS! AND ELI JR I LOVE IT

This show really loves to give people more than the recommended amount of babies with no warning huh

She immediately knows which one is Eli Jr 🥺 okay listen I'm not the biggest fan of comic relief sideplot surprise babies, but I have to admit they're cute. Cute couple. Throuple. Eli is in on this. He even has a Junior.

I TOLD YOU WHERE'S THE DAMN TACO TRUCK NANA WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU AND NEITHER WILL I

Oh yea he better fuckin be alive I will commit murder

HE BETTER FUCKIN BE ALIVE BITCH

FUCK YOU

THAT'S A WHOLE ASS CHILD HE ISN'T ALLOWED TO DIE IT'S ILLEGAL

JIM IS GONNA LOOK DOWN AT THE GREEN GLOWING BITCH AAARRRGGHH CONVENIENTLY THREW THERE AND SEE HIM ALIVE OR SOMETHING

YEAH USE THE SWORD TO UNDEAD HIM! THAT'S HOW YOU USE SWORDS!

Unbecoming Part 2

So is Jim just gonna Groundhog Day it until everyone is fine? There's only 13 minutes left we're gonna need a bigger movie

Also I screamed so much about everyone's death and now everyone reading this after they already saw the whole thing is gonna shame me for clowning huh

The scene where Blinky is giving his goodbye speech, there are no babies and Steve has a round belly? Did he reabsorb them?? I mean I know Jim is about to un-birth them but he hasn't started yet

JUST HOW FAR BACK IS HE PLANNING TO GO

WAIT HOLD UP EXCUSE ME WHAT

Oh they did NOT just do that. I though he was just gonna go back to like, the start of the movie maybe. Not all the way

Imagine being in your early twenties with as much trauma as this kid has and having to pretend you're 16 again

Somewhere Unkar is complaining because "oh sure NOW it's a good idea"

I know Jim is wondering where Toby is because he was there before. But before, he made an entire meatloaf AND did his homework before leaving the house, so honey maybe wait a minute

For a second I thought Toby wasn't gonna be there and Jim would return to the right time. But there he is!

Alright so they're in school now, did they take the canal and just didn't mention the amulet on screen or did they pass it as if the Unbecoming episode hadn't been that traumatizing? Jim you know what happens when you ignore it

Jim maybe you're being too obvious here lmao

Soooo. Anyway. These whole past years I've rewatched this show over and over and over again are cancelled now?

OKAY AT LEAST WE SAW NANA FOR A SPLIT SECOND THAT'S IRONIC TIMING

So we get the quote again. And Trollhunter Tobias is nice. Cool. Cool AU I mean, but I don't know. I don't knowwww. I've been way too invested in everything to just accept that it never happened?? So uh. Hm. How about this.

Strickler survived because fuck you, and Toby also survived and just has scars now. Maybe a wheelchair but he's fine, also he can use the Warhammer for super speed and make it awesome once he's used to it. Archie and Charlie get freed once they rebuild the bridge (and they were playing scrabble to pass the time). Nomura is still dead because she died on screen and I can't really deny that but she's with Draal so it's okay. Everyone is traumatized but they'll be fine. NotEnrique is still babysitting 500 babies and Steve is about to bring 7 more.

In summary, I reject Groundhog Day ending but everything else was great, as long as it actually happened. It was a good movie. But you can't just cancel years of passion. Having the prospect of a million "canon AUs" sounds great for writing but at the same time nooo you can't do that he didn't have to go back THAT far HHHHH

I liked the movie. It was a great watch and a satisfying end to a franchise, but I gotta say I do not fancy the ending of it so I will from now on be in denial. I honestly feel kind of betrayed that this show was my whole life for so long, I learned every smallest fact, and they basically deleted it from existence. I know what they were going for, I think, but no thank you I will be going with my own opinion. Still gonna rewatch it a few dozen times though ✌🏻

And that concludes my live commentary that was supposed to be a small handful of notes. Feel free to shame me for my opinions. See ya!

#rott spoilers #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #this got a LOT longer than expected #i'd be surprised if anyone actually read the whole thing but oh well #i just. have a LOT of opinions #i started out so optimistic too #mpreg mention #can't believe i have to use that tag on a post about canon

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kpopimaginings · 4 years

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“You bought me something?” – Kai

A/N: This one may have got a bit more angsty and emotional than originally planned, but I promise its still very sweet and fluffy in the end!

You’d been friends with EXO for years, but recently you’d found your self growing closer and closer to Kai. It didn’t help that you’d started going to see them at the studios while they were rehearsing. You’d accidentally become a sort of unofficial photographer for them as they shared so many of your snaps on social, you were just hoping none of them would realise how many more pictures of Kai there were than any of the others.

Today you’d been running some errands, mainly for yourself, but some for the guys too. You knew they were having a pretty casual day, some of them just chilling at the dorms, but Kai would definitely be at the studio. You’d decided while you were out you would pick up Kai some lunch and drop it into him on your way back.

When you got there you softly pushed the door open, hoping to sneak in without disturbing him. Xiumin spotted you instantly and shouted out, interrupting Kai’s dance.

“KAI! YOUR GIRLFRIENDS HERE!”

“I’m not his girlfriend,” you reminded Min.

“Y/n!” Kai called stopping his routine.

“Hey,” you said, as he came over to hug you. “I was shopping, running some errands, and thought I’d stop by.”

“You brought me something?” he asked, hopefully, looking at the bag in your hand.

“I know what you’re like, you get too into the dances and forget to eat, so I brought you lunch.”

Suddenly Min let out a cough in a poor attempt to hide the word “girlfriend” as it fell from his lips again.

“Ignore him,” Kai told you taking the bag. “You’re the best. Always looking out for me.”

You smiled, “Well, no-one wants you to starve.”

“Sit with me,” he said, taking your hand and leading you to the seats in the corner of the room.

“Nini, I’ve got things to be doing at home,” you told him, even though you were following where he lead you.

He looked to you, pouting in a way you found irresistible. “Things that are so important they can’t wait for you to have lunch with your best friend?”

You felt a pang in your chest. It was partly because he just look so damn cute, partly because you didn’t want to just be best friends. Your face must have fallen too, as Kai stopped suddenly.

“What’s wrong? Do you need to leave urgently? I don’t want to pressure you into staying.”

You just couldn’t cope with how sweet and thoughtful he was sometimes.

“Umm, you know what, I should probably go,” you stuttered. “If you still want to hang out, maybe you can come see me after?” You decided that if he did turn up, you would confess. And that would give you the afternoon to decide what to say.

“Promise me you’re ok?” Worry was written all over Kai’s face as he spoke.

“Of course,” you faked a smile. “I just… I’ll see you later.”

You turned quickly and speed-walked out of the room.

What was wrong with you? You thought to yourself. You’ve hung out with Kai plenty before and been fine. Something about today just seemed to overwhelm you; the fact that he stopped his routine to hug you, the huge smile on his face when he saw you’d come to see him, the gentle way he took your hand, and the genuine concern he showed for you. The cherry on top though, was the fact that to him this was all for his ‘best friend’. You just couldn’t hang out with him anymore unless he knew how he made you feel.

When you got home, you got on with house work trying not to focus on your encounter. You’d barely been back for an hour when there was a knock at your door. You pulled it open to see a very dishevelled and upset looking Kai.

“I wasn’t expecting you yet,” you said stepping a side to let him in, but he didn’t move.

“What happened?” he asked, his usual energy missing as he looked at the floor.

“What do you-“ you started but he cut you off.

“Have I offended you? Are you upset with me?”

“No, of course not, I could never be upset with you.”

“I just wanted to eat my lunch with you, and you got upset and left and I’ve been trying to work out why, and what I did wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything,” you told him, your heart breaking at the distraught look on his face. “Come in, please.”

He finally crossed the threshold, and you closed the door behind him before taking his hand, the way he did to you earlier and lead him to the sofa.

“Nini, look at me,” you asked, still holding his hand. “It’s literally the opposite. You did everything right. You were completely lovely and sweet.”

“Then why?” he looked like a lost child as he finally made eye contact with you.

“Because…” you took a deep breath. “Because you are too lovely, and you made a comment about me being your best friend, and I don’t want to be just your best friend. I want to be yours, completely. I want you to treat me like that all the time, but only me. I want to turn up to surprise you, and not be mad at Min for announcing me as your girlfriend, because I want it to be true.”

You’d barely finished talking when Kai all but threw himself at you, embracing you tightly.

“You idiot,” he muttered into your shoulder. “You could have just told me. You’re my favourite person, and I thought I’d hurt you. I’ve been beating myself up since you left and it turns out, you just liked me back,” he continued with his face buried in the crook of your neck

“I didn’t know how, especially with other people present.”

“So? We could have kicked Min out.”

You laughed at that.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” you said, the pet name rolling naturally of your tongue. “Forgive me?”

“Only if you’re going to be my girlfriend now,” he told you, finally pulling away.

“Of course,” you smiled, cupping his face in your hands.

Kai smiled back, before passionately pressing his lips to yours. Your hands slipped to rest behind his neck as he placed one of his on the small of your back and the other between your shoulder blades, holding you as close as possible.

When he broke the kiss, he rested his forehead on yours. “From now on, we talk to each other when somethings bothering us,” he told you.

“Deal,” you smiled, before bringing your lips together again.

NAVIGATION | EXO MASTERLIST | SUPERM MASTERLIST

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emilycollins00 · 3 years

Text

Muku + Azami headcanons

For lovely @skateboarding-poet!

It’s my first time writing a rareship but I had so much fun! These two are just so precious, I love them to pieces. Please enjoy! 💕

This ship is basically nonchalantic innocence meets bubbly dreamland and is gorgeous.

Azami might not get why Muku likes reading shojo so much, but while he can feel he’s going to hell just from hearing all the indecent things his boyfriend has read... he won’t judge too much overall.

Muku likes them and they are important to him, so now they are important to Azami too within certains limits of course

Others are not extended the same courtesy though, a.k.a Sakyo

Both of his personalities are pretty calm and chill so whenever they go on dates it’s all about walking around Veludo to shop for make-up and books, visiting animal cafes or just staying at the dorm in each other’s rooms.

Muku adores listening to Azami’s voice. He also discovers Azami tends to hum whenever he’s in a good mood so the summer troupe member will usually peak over the manga he’s reading, his heart skipping a beat at the soft sounds.

I also feel like Azami is not really one to expect praises out of nowhere, so when Muku starts compliment him -as the ball of sunshine he is with no filter whatsoever-.

“...Need something?”

“Oh,no! I was just thinking I really love your eyes Azami-kun, they are beautiful!”

Azami can never anticipate those and becomes an absolute mess.

On a similar note I don’t think Azami is a looks person as much as he is a personality person, but he can’t deny just how pretty Muku is??

Everyone in Mankai can see his eyes softening while unconciously staring at the pink-haired helping Izumi with the dishes or laughing at Misumi’s antics and it’s so blatantly clear how in love he is.

Kisses are too much for Azami’s heart at the beginning of their relationship though, maybe a peck on the cheeks in private but he’s NOT a pervert okay??

The first time Muku ever reached out to held Azami’s hand, boy swore his heart stopped.

“Wha-! A-at least wait until we are married dammit!”

“R-right, I’m sorry! I just thought that- um, your hands always look so soft b-but of course my hands are sweaty and they-”

Before he finishes, a pinkie intertwines with his. Muku has never seen the boy’s ears in such a red color “Azami-kun?”

“Just don’t look at me, okay?. God this is so...”

After the initial shock, Muku squeezes back giggling.

Later that night, both are still glancing at their own pinkies in their respective rooms and im soft about it.

Of course the whole yakuza family knows Muku by now wouldn’t expect less and you better believe that boy will be protected for life. The Sakisaka’s also adore Azami who brings them the best skin products choosen with the utmost care.

Muku asking opinion to Azuma, Yuki and Sakoda gift ideas for Azami for being always so attentive but he’s so lost.

CDs?? Make up? ah, but make up is expensive, and what if he already has them or worst what if he hates them or-

In the end he makes wool felt dolls of them with Omi’s help.

“A-as I thought it’s really childish, right? I’m sorry I should have just-!”

“Are they for me”

“Uh?”

“The dolls” Azami takes the one that looks like Muku and glances at the young boy.

“Oh! um- yeah!”

The dolls are now sitting next to each other in his desk and NO ONE is allowed to touch them.

Anyway, Muku going starry-eyed whenever he sees Azami’s skills in action.

Also, whenever Azami gets injured or he just genuinely feels tired from rehearsals, Muku takes his hand unconsciously and places a kiss on it and Azami becomes a blushing mess right away.

But in general Muku knows just how reserved Azami is in the romantic aspect and won’t push him out of his comfort zone until he’s comfortable.

Still, Azami will be more likely to show PDA if he senses Muku needs a comforting presence, tiny kisses in his forehead are a must.

All in all it’s a quiet and slow love, but neither of them would change it for anything.

Extra!

Azami had never been good at showing his feelings, or at least that’s what he heard from others since he was young- deadpan face was it?- he didn’t remember much.

Reality though was quite the opposite. He always seemed to feel too much, respond too quick in waves of emotions. His determination and strong fuse if pressed wrongly often gave him troubles so he opted to lay low, or at least, that was before he entered Mankai.

And then- god, then there was Muku, who had amplified those feelings beyond what he thought it was possible.

Much to Azami’s own surprise due to their evident views on love and its approach, the pink-haired boy had become someone who was eager to learn everything about him, who accepted both the good and the bad. Someone who accepted his passion and pride.

“Azami-kun, you are amazing!”

Of course he had fallen in love.

. .

It was a fuzzy feeling whenever lights were out for the day and Azami still got messages from the young summer member, even if they had said their goodbyes half an hour ago before heading to their respectives rooms. It was the Muku who started them most of the time, usually to rant on him about the last story he was reading in a failed attempt to warm Azami up towards that hell of a perverted genre, but he would lie if he said he hadn’t gotten used to them.

His phone vibrates, a light signaling a new message once again.

What do you think, won’t you consider it? It’s one of the best I’ve read!

Azami rolls his eyes, but there’s a fond smile on his face. His thumb scrolls down softly over the five continuous paragraphs -new record, he also noticed- that consisted the review of Muku’s manga before texting back.

Already told you. Just find me one where there’s no kissing, holding hands or any of that perverted stuff you and that shitty old man enjoy and then I’ll read it.

He could practically visualize the pout forming on Muku’s face as he read his response.

But that kind of shojo manga isn’t romantic at all!

He chuckles. Being in a relationship before marriage was something he had swore wouldn’t happen to him. But his feelings for Muku were real, and he wouldn’t changed them for the world.

Checking the time, he saw it was getting late- they shouldn’t cut more hours for their skin to rest. He was about to write back to notify Muku of his plans to go to sleep when he saw an audio. Turquoise eyes frowned as he tilted his head confused. Muku had never sent him audios before, mainly because they saw each other every day.

He laid back, resting his head on the pillow and clicked on it, vaguely curious.

There it was, that characteristic bubbly voice Azami had learned to distinguish, quieted down probably to not bother Kazunari. Just what-?

“Sweet dreams, Azami-kun”

He definitely jolted and quickly turned to Sakyo’s side, containing his breath until he noticed the annoying snores from his bed. All compose had left him in those three seconds the audio lasted, and Azami swears his chest did a backflip on its own.

“What the hell...?”

Muku really wasn’t aware of the weigh of his own words.

He stares at the phone, his mind registering what had just happened. Then, as if in a trance, he’s barely aware of his actions before his finger presses the audio again- just one more time.

“Sweet dreams, Azami-kun”

One more time.

“Sweet dreams, Azami-kun”

One more time.

“Sweet dreams-”

One more time.

He could feel the sound of his smile over the phone. The way he drew out his name, so full of affection. His tone was warm and light, and how was he supposed to sleep now, Azami didn’t know.

Groaning, the autumn member covers his face with the back of his hand. Shit, he’s so embarrassed he can feel the heat growing on his cheeks and ears.

He rolls on the bed, taking a quick glance at the few photos of Mankai Omi gave him once to decorate the empty wall. A special warmth showers Azami when he makes contact with those purple eyes, always gentle. They looked back at him with a softness he had rarely encountered before and a smile that made his heart once again leap on his chest.

Oh, he was so done.

“He’s gonna kill me…he’s gonna fuckin’ kill me…”

And yet, he played it once again.

__________________________________________________________

Wishing everyone a wonderful day! 💕

#a3 act addict actors #a3 #a3 act #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3! azami #a3! muku #muku sakisaka #azami izumida #mukuaza

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parkjess · 4 years

Note

hello! can i request an astro individual scenario where they try confessing to the reader?

Thank you for requesting! 🥰

Myungjun:

After finishing with his musical schedule, Myungjun, your friend you were there to support every day of his rehearsals, took you to a relaxing day. Sunday morning, sun’s up, he made some sandwiches and drinks for the whole day, taking you around the beautiful places in town, where there is a view almost as pretty as him.

You catch up with one another’s schedule and hard times you had through the past few weeks. “You know, I thought about you a lot during practice.” He says, swinging the basket he was holding and then taking a look at you. You do the same, yet surprised. -“You did?” Asking and taking a seat on a bench, full of spring flowers that fell off the tree behind.

“Yeah. You helped me a lot in my mind, so thank you.” He chuckles, taking the seat near you, “I have been thinking about it a lot now,” he’s slightly getting nervous. You look up at him, locking eyes. -“What is it? You can tell me anything.” “I like you y/n. You are always there for me when I need you, and even when I don’t ask for it, you always know when to find me. I like you a lot.” Your heart added extra beat when he said that sentence you needed to hear so badly, since you are going through hard time now, and didn’t even tell him about it.

-“I like you too Myungjun.”

Jinwoo:

Sanha called you last night to invite you to jinwoo’s birthday party that will take place next week in the dorms, and ofcourse you agreed and even helped making the decorations, the cake and little gift bags for everyone.

The whole week you were walking around the mall and town with the boys, every day with someone else. You decided to buy Jinwoo several birthday gifts since you’re never sure if he’s gonna like the last one you bought, and every each of them helped with their own style.

Finally March 14 arrived, you have planned to spend the whole day with Jinwoo and come back to the dorms exactly at midnight, when it’s the 15 already. At first he didn’t want to finish the bowling game you were playing around 11pm so you faked a stomachache, and as you thought, he rushed to take you back to the dorm as soon as possible. It’s 12:02am, you missed the exact midnight because he was stubborn to take you to your place. “Jinwoo...” you whisper when you arrive at the dorms’ entrance, -“Y/n are you okay?” He asks when he notices you are completely fine suddenly, so you place your hand quickly on the door handle as a sign for the boys, and open it. “Happy birthday!” Jinwoo’s five best friends and you, his secret crush that only sanha knows about, shout, scaring the birthday kid. -“oh my god you tricked me!” Jinwoo shout at you with a smile, pointing at your stomach, you can see how he cared about you being in pain. “She planned this all, hyung!” Sanha says happily as you hit his arm playfully, turning red from the credit he gave you. “NO, SANHA, we planned this all, happy birthday Park Jinwoo.” You say and stretch your arm to get your gifts for him, handing 5 different full bags to him.

-“I... I have nothing to say... y/n, you’re amazing, you all are, guys.” Jinwoo stutters, “Just say you love her already hyung.” All of the sudden Sanha says, making all of you turn to him as he realized what he just said, Jinwoo slaps his own forehead with his palm. -“OH MY GOD.” Minhyuk interrupts quietly. “Yes, oh my god, SANHA WHAT THE HELL!” You yell at the younger boy, realizing he was speaking the truth since Jinwoo didn’t deny anything.

“What? You’ll thank me later hyung.” Sanha says nonchalantly and shoves a spoon full of cake into his mouth.

After you all ate cake and Jinwoo called you to his room, you didn’t feel uncomfortable talking to him, not even now, but you felt like your heart is going to leave your rib cage soon. “First of all, I’m so thankful for you making all of... this. You made me the happiest man on earth, you always do. Second, I love you.” He takes your hand once he says he confesses. “Third, Sanha is a dumbass I’m grateful for, because he made me finally say this. I’m sick of hiding my feelings for you, I want you to know it finally. I love you y/n.” Your heart race could be heard from miles away, -“I love you too Jinwoo.” You say back and kiss him on the lips, it tastes like sweet vanilla frosting. -“He was right, you are going to thank him later.” You finally say and kiss him once again, missing the taste of cake on your own lips.

Dongmin:

“Y/n! Finally, I’ve been calling you the whole morning, anyways, we are going to the beach today, wanna join us?” Moonbin, one of your friends calls you when you wake up, peeking at your phone while he’s talking, 12 missed calls from him and Minhyuk. -“uhm, yeah sure? I just woke up so I’ll be there in like two hours.” You reply with still sleepy, crispy voice. “Alright! See you then.” He says and hangs up.

Arriving at the beach, it’s a sunny day in the middle of February, the cold breeze helps your hair tangle itself, and the lip gloss you applied doesn’t make the situation better.

“Hey! Lee dongmin!” You shout when you see the handsome guy sits on a beach towel, covered with his big coat. the others are missing in your eye sight. -“Y/n hii,” Dongmin looks up at you, offering you a seat near him.

“Thanks, are you cold?” You ask him while he’s deep in your eyes, smiling his charming smile that makes your heart flutter. -“Ah no it’s okay.” You say nothing but hand him a hot pack, he thanks you and brings it closer to his neck. “So... where is everyone?” Feeling kinda awkward, you decide to ask something to break the silence. Dongmin was your crush for 3 years, yet not long ago you decided to control these feelings since you don’t want to ruin your friendship, and still, your stomach fills with butterflies every time you hear his voice or look at him.

-“There they are.” He points behind you with his head since his hands are busy holding the hot packs. “You’re here!” Sanha shouts and quickly bends over to hug you. The others just greet you with excitement.

“Guys, why don’t you go buy something to eat?” Dongmin suddenly asks, you look at him surprised since they just came from somewhere. Jinwoo was the only one who got the sign and pulled the boys out of there.

“Y/n, I have something to tell you.” Dongmin softly says, stretching his arms to hold your hand. “I have tried to deny it, but I’m afraid I can’t. You already know where this is going, right?” Dongmin likes your clever brain, in fact, that’s what made him fall for you in the first place.

But you tried to convince yourself that’s not what you’re thinking, only because you’re scared to be denied.

-“I’m not sure...”

“I like you y/n, a lot, and you probably don’t want to ruin this friendship but I don’t mind ruining it with something bigger than that.”

Wow, your whole body twitched at those words of his. -“I’m pretty much shocked now, because I’ve been feeling the same. I like you too Dongmin.”

Moonbin:

Your graduation party wasn’t like you expected it to be. The theme everyone chose was 80’ style, which was different from other proms you have seen.

“Moonbin, hi.” You say shyly when you get close to your friend, still refusing to believe these are the last days you see each other, and then every one goes on his own way.

He turns to you, wearing those shades that make you laugh at him. “Woah, dude chill with the coolness.” You giggle, sticking your thumbnail between your teeth. -“Well, you look wonderful too.” He laughs, grabbing the drink his friend just handed to him. “So... last day huh?” You sigh. -“Yeah,” he follows, taking a sip from what looks like non-alcoholic blue drink. -“Remember when we wished to finish school? Never knew it will be somehow sad like this...” “Yeah well, let’s not spend our last hours together like this upset.” You said, grabbing his hand to the “dance floor”.

All you have done is having fun with your classmates and friends, no getting drunk, no expensive suits and dresses, but good music and atmosphere. Moonbin was one of the last students who stayed there with you until after midnight, dancing till you can’t breathe no more from laughing so much. “Wow, that was a very happy ending, don’t you think so?” He turns his head to you as you pull skewers with marshmallows on it, hand one to him and hold it above the fire. -“I do, I still can’t believe we’re together for years, we went through everything, since 1st grade till now.”

“Y/n...” he whispers, realizing all of these things you just said. -“hmm?” You look at him, feeling too close. “I’m gonna regret it if I won’t say it right now,” he smiles a bit. “I love you.” Your eyes widen from his words, almost burning the marshmallows because you forgot them. -“I... Bin, I don’t know what to say.” You felt the same, but just couldn’t say those 3 words so easily. “Don’t say anything.” He shoves a marshmallow into his mouth and stands up, offering you his hand to do so too. -“Wait.” You stop him when he’s about to go. -“I love you too.” You immediately say and pull him closer for a kiss.

Minhyuk:

“Minhyuk, where are we going?”

Your friend grabbed your hand the moment he heard from Myungjun that you are feeling a bit down these days, not able to accomplish anything you want. -“It’ll be fun, I promise,” he stops near his new car, and says with a smile, -“Now get in the car.” He opens the car door for you and you enter, noticing the comfort pillows he has in the two front seats. “Are you kidnapping me?” You say sarcastically, pulling the seat belt while he get in the car from the other side. -“If I would, you wouldn’t know.” Minhyuk smirks his usual charming smirk and drives off the parking lot.

The ride wasn’t too long, it was full with both of your laughter, loud music and screaming because he almost bumped into a cat. -“Were here.” He takes off his seatbelt and says, walks out first to open your door again, like a real banal gentleman. “Starbucks? Oh come on, do you wanna tell me what’s going on? You never take me here, or anywhere alone.” You weren’t lying, he never hangs out with you alone but only with another mutual friend of yours, today he felt like he doesn’t want you to feel unwell so he decided to take you on a ‘friendly date’.

-“So you’re actually saying you want me to take you alone more often?” Here’s that smirk again, and he laughs it off. The place was very beautiful, spring atmosphere it is. He told you to sit near one of the tables with a pretty view while he’s ordering the drinks.

You sat there watching the view, glancing at you handsome friend from time to time, wondering why he buy you drinks all of the sudden, he’s the type to ask you to buy him a drink usually.

-“There you go, and... this.” He places your favorite pastry near the beverage, which makes him more suspicious. “Minhyuk, stop wasting your money on me. What is it with you today?” -“Just shut up and drink.” He laughs, gosh his smile made you forget everything you are going through. You take a bite from the sweet muffin (or whatever you like to eat) and thank him about it. “Okay but seriously now, why are you so good to me toda- I mean, you’re always good but today there’s something different.” Your friend rolls eyes at your stubbornness and sighs. -“Myungjun hyung told me you are having hard time.”

Not enough for you, still, he’s hiding something. He could tell you’re having a hard time several times this year, and yet, this has never happened before. When you both finished drinking and chitchatting about life, the usual conversations with Minhyuk, you went out to breathe some fresh air. There was a beautiful park (minhyuk hehehuhu) nearby so he walked you there without you to notice. -“Actually, I do have something to tell you, but this day was supposed to cheer you up, I don’t know what you are going through, but you know you can always talk to me, right?” He suddenly starts to walk slower, puts his hands into his denim jacket, he looks down on the leaves and then up at you. “Yes, ofcourse, but don’t worry about it. Ah, what was the thing you wanted to tell me?” You ask, locking eyes with him from time to time, it feels great to look him in the eyes like that, he’s shining. -“I’ll just say it like that, right away.” He lets you know first, -“I care about you, I like you, actually.” The way he said those words was like he planned this for a while now, but it came fluently from the bottom of his heart.

“I knew it!” You fist your hand, -“You did?” He asks in confusion. “Yeah, I mean no I didn’t but I hoped so.” His smile appears again, -“hoped... Does that mean you like me too?” His heart beats can be heard from where you were standing. “Well, you know me best, so I guess you know the answer.” You reply and take his hand in yours, intertwining fingers.

Sanha:

“Yoon sanha! Give me back my camera!” You shout while running after the 10 feet tall guy that every step he makes equals to 3 steps of you.

He runs so fast until he can’t no more and gives up, breathing heavily while holding onto his knees. -“Take your camera, it doesn’t worth your embarrassing pictures.” You grab it right after he says, searching for the pics he was taking of you while eating and talking with the others. “Oh my god Sanha you’re gonna pay for that.” You tell him while panting and looking at your own awkward moments. You didn’t like to see yourself while talking, kinda insecure about it, but he didn’t know it.

“Both of you stop and let’s go eat.” Dongmin appears behind the two of you, scaring you both since you didn’t expect him to be there.

-“Ah! Hyung!” Sanha screams as soon as he hears Dongmin’s slightly deep voice, following him to where you were sitting all together in the first place. “Open your mouth.” You held a fork with lightly burnt, hot, potato stuck on it, making its way to Sanha’s mouth. The others just looked at you shocked, and you didn’t get why. “What?” You ask, sticking the fork in another piece of potato, that’s his favorite thing to eat, especially on camping trips. -“You would make a great couple someday.” Jinwoo says and the rest of them agree. “What? Ew, no he’s my best friend.” You know Sanha is close to you so wouldn’t be offended by your words, even though he wanted you to be more than his bestie.

Time passed and all of them went to sleep, except for you and Sanha who stayed up late singing songs while he plays the guitar. “Did you really mean what you said earlier?” He suddenly asks, looks like he does care about that. -“Which part?”

“The one with the ‘Ew’, do you really mean it?” His voice lowers. -“What? No Sanha, ofcourse not. It’s just, you know what they are going to say if I’d said otherwise. Why does that bother you?” He grabs the Polaroid camera from earlier, handing it over to you. “What-“ he cuts you off. -“look at the third picture.” You take it and roll the gallery to the picture he meant, it was you; but a finger heart at the bottom of the picture. “Sanha, I don’t get-“. -“I like you y/n, more than a best friend. And I wish Jinwoo’s words could make a reality.” Wait... what? “Yoon sanha, are you kid- you’re speaking the truth.” You realize since you recognize his serious face. “I, actually, said what I said earlier... because I was starting to feel the same feelings for you, and I guess I was too scared...”

-“So, you like me back?”

“I guess- I do.”

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oikawa-tuwu · 4 years

Text

Exit, Stage Right

🎭 Chapter 16 (oikawa x reader)

“Someone’s in a good mood today,” your new understudy, Chiyo, comments when you collapse in the chair next to her. Finally, the last scene for the day was blocked, which meant that the cast would be dismissed, which meant you could go to the cafe, which meant you could finally meet Alien Boy.

Finally.

“Am I?” You say, still grinning despite your usual post-rehearsal exhaustion.

“Yeah, you haven’t glared at me once today,” Oikawa hums somewhere in your right ear, and you glance back to see that he claimed the seat behind you, and is currently leaning much too far forward for comfort, his face, a daunting mere few inches from yours. “Care to explain what has you so happy, Juliet?”

Even the slight acceleration of your heart isn’t enough to get your mood down, so you just shove his forehead back with your hand and put his stupid pretty face and stupid pretty hair and stupid pretty grin out your mind. Oikawa wails a little, but your attention has already moved on.

Alien boy.

“Good job, everyone. You’re dismissed for the day-”

Your hand is already reaching for your bag.

“Except for Y/n, Watari, and Yahaba, I want to run the scene one more time, because something in the blocking was off and I want to make sure we have it down before we move on.”

“Damn,” Yahaba mutters, apathetically, as you reach for your script again. “That sucks for you.”

“You could at least pretend like you don’t find my pain amusing,” you bite back, but you follow him back up to the rehearsal space. “Sadist.”

Yahaba shoots you a blinding smile. “Dumbass.”

“Be nice,” Watari chides, but he’s grinning too, so the scolding falls flat.

Most of the cast still wanders around the seats, talking about weekend plans or collecting their bags and scripts, but surprisingly, the third year boys have already left. It had seemed like a new tradition for Oikawa, lingering behind to bug you about going to practice lines or walking you home, but he’s nowhere to be found. Even Iwaizumi is already gone, leaving Kyoutani and his perpetually angry expression to read from the stage manager’s script.

“Alright, we’re going to go from Juliet’s line, line number…”

Fifteen grueling minutes later, the director dismisses you.

Thankfully, you’ll still get there on time if you hurry, but it doesn’t help that your friends are walking at a snail’s pace. Even Kyoutani is walking slowly, and that boy basically runs everywhere most of the time.

“Look, a flower,” Yahaba says for the eleventh time, slowing down to peer at it, and you’re about ready to sock him.

“Fuck you, I’m leaving you behind.”

“I was joking!” Yahaba laughs and you hear the other three second years pick up their pace to catch up with you. “Wait for us!”

Your last memory of Sakura Cafe was when Oikawa’s jealous ex-girlfriend poured coffee on you and stained your favorite uniform shirt, so coming here to meet Alien Boy is a strange homecoming. God knows this store has seen enough dramatics from your life for this week.

Still, you tidy your hair a little with the help of your phone’s camera and adjust your uniform skirt before you turn the corner to the coffeeshop.

For a moment, you imagine what might lie behind the walls of Sakura Cafe. You’ve seen plenty of plays at nearby schools and met quite a few of their actors afterwards, so the possibilities were endless as to who he might be. Was it someone from Karasuno? Their drama club president was handsome and incredibly nice, or maybe their vice president, with his silver hair and playful grin. Or maybe it was someone from Shiratorizawa?

You can’t help but smile a little at the thought. Oikawa would throw a hissy fit if he found out that you were friends with Ushijima Wakatoshi. (He thinks he’s aaaall that because he was in a touring production of Les Mes when he was a kid. Ugh.)

And, once again, Oikawa invades your thoughts.

That boy was like a dagger that slowly slipped between your armor and suddenly had you clutching your heart on the floor. You’d been stabbed once and the armor was a logical next step after the wound he inflicted in your first year. You had been content for the last year to hate him, to pretend like his bad pick-up lines and long eyelashes did more to infuriate than to arouse, but the lies only went so far after that night at the park. He had apologized. He had joked. He had smiled. His true smile, not the one he painted on in the morning, but one that could knock the wind out of you.

And now the bastard had you rethinking everything.

“I can’t do this,” you breathe. “I can’t, I’m in love with that dumbass and I can’t-”

Watari and Yahaba exchange an unreadable look, and then they proceed to loop their arms around yours and essentially lift you off the ground, dragging you, kicking and screaming, towards the door.

“Stop!” You screech. “Kyoutani, help!”

Kyoutani does not help.

Your friends deposit you in front of the cafe doors, Watari helpfully tucking a stray hair back into place.

“You can do this,” Yahaba says, slapping you on the back. “Go get your man.”

“Aw, that’s the most encouraging thing you’ve ever said to me!”

Yahaba grimaces. “I know, it pains me too. Now go.”

“We’ll be right behind you,” Watari grins, and turns you to the door.

“Okay,” you say, and, ignoring the nerves that settled in your belly and slowly spread to your lethargic limbs, you push open the door.

Your first thought after walking through the door is, that’s weird. The missing third years: Iwaizumi, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki, are sitting at a table, not-so-subtly staring at you. Hanamaki winks, and then the three turn back to their drinks.

Weird.

Your second thought after walking through the door is, I am the single dumbest person on this earth.

There’s only one other space being occupied in the coffee shop, a small two-person table in the corner. Behind your usual drink order, already paid for and still piping hot, and a bouquet of the reddest roses you’ve ever seen, sits Oikawa Tooru.

You open your mouth, but the only thing that comes out is, “What the fuck.”

“You wanted this,” Yahaba says, cheerfully, slinging an arm over your shoulders. “You’re welcome.”

“What the FUCK?” You repeat, turning towards your friends, then back to Oikawa, then to the third years, then back to Oikawa. “I… you’re alien fucker?!”

Oikawa winces as you hear the other occupants of the cafe die from laughter. “For the last time, I’m not an alien fucker, I just think that the actor who played the Squip in Be More Chill is kind of attractive!”

“O. T.,” you mutter, remembering the initials on your online friend’s profile. “Oikawa Tooru. Our shows opens the same weekend, I’m such a dumbass.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I only realized a couple days ago.”

“It doesn’t.” You turn to the rest of them. “And how long have you assholes known this?”

Hanamaki wipes a tear from his eye, pausing in his laughter long enough to get out, “A blissful week.”

Your face heats up as you realize how blatant some of your tweets had been, thinking that Alien Boy would never see them.

“Is it too late to run away?” You ask Watari.

He just grins and pushes you towards Oikawa. “Yes. Now go.”

You take a deep breath, count to three, and turn back to Alien Boy. To Oikawa.

“So,” he says with a confident grin, as soon you’ve taken a few steps in his direction. “Did I make it obvious?”

You scan the display. You noticed the drink and the roses earlier, but somehow you hadn’t seen the sign, a teal piece of cardstock propped against the wall, that read, Be the Scully to my Mulder?

“I think that is the cheesiest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

Oikawa smirks, taking a single step forward. “I know for a fact that you like cheesy stuff, considering how many times you’ve cried at ‘I’ll Cover You’ from Rent.”

The blush on your cheeks is answer enough for him, but you still try a weak protest. “Shut up.”

Oikawa tilts his head, looking at you the same way he looked at his script before going on stage for a scene he didn’t quite have memorized yet, frantically trying to capture the lines in the last few seconds before his cue. In that moment, you realize how close you’d gotten during the exchange, with a mere few inches between his face and yours. He grins, infuriatingly. “You know, you’ve been telling me that a lot lately, why don’t you make me shut up?”

In a single, fluid motion, you grab his uniform tie and yank him to your height, meeting his lips in a kiss.

Behind you, you hear a few scattered cheers, probably from Hanamaki and Matsukawa, but you don’t care. No, your attention is focused more on feeling of Oikawa’s lips on yours, the weight his hands on your waist, the way he teeth caught your lip a little as you pulled away.

When you finally part, you’re breathless. Oikawa grins at you, that stupid happy smile that killed you the other night in the park, and has the audacity to ask, “So is that a yes?”

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(A/N: And its over!! Thanks for reading, I had a lot of fun writing this one!! The rivals to lovers trope will kill me one of these days. Also I may or may not have casted Shiratorizawa in Little Shop of Horrors. Please send an ask if interested in hearing my niche and probably controversial hot takes, I have a lot of them. Anyways, thank you all for reading/supporting Exit, Stage Right and have a great day!!!)

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myaekingheart · 3 years

Text

141. Intuition

read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3 index | from the beginning | < previous | next >

Smoke billowed up from the tip of a lit cigarette as Sekkachi took a long, hungry drag. The village was quiet for a Monday, the sky inching up central overhead. Dust clouded up around her ankles with each pad of her feet. She turned a corner, trampled through the same pathway she had already forged on another street. Rei surely would not mind her running late. It wasn’t like they were on a tight schedule and Rei likely needed the extra time anyway. After all, it wasn’t called morning sickness for nothing.

As she strolled, Sekkachi pressed a hand to her toned, bare stomach and deliberated. It was still so hard to wrap her brain around the fact that her best friend was having a baby. Deep down, Sekkachi knew this would happen eventually. She had made her peace with it but that didn’t mean she had fully comprehended it yet. Life was moving so fast and things were changing so quickly. Their youth was slipping ever rapidly through their fingers and there was not a damn thing they could do about it.

Sekkachi cursed herself as she suddenly heard her name shouted from down the street. All those thoughts of youth had apparently summoned him, the true power of youth connoisseur: Might Guy. He waved at her widely before running to catch up with her, a determined grin spread across his face. “Sekkachi! I didn’t expect to see you out and about this early” he greeted.

“It’s not that early” Sekkachi grumbled under her breath, taking another drag. But then again, being out and about any time before noon was evidently suspicious behavior. “Besides, I’ve got plans with Rei.”

Guy nodded knowingly. “What youthful activities are you doing today? A sparring match in the training grounds? Shopping spree? Or perhaps a trip to the dango shop? Hmm?”

Shaking her head, Sekkachi finished off her cigarette and toed the butt into the dirt. “No, we’re heading over to see her parents. Rei’s got big news to share and besides, she’s been freaking out about everything so she wanted to look into some books on pregnancy.”

Might Guy stood stock still in the middle of the street, his mind lingering on the word pregnancy. And it was then that Sekkachi realized she had made a terrible mistake. “Sekkachi!” he shouted, taking her by the shoulders and looking her straight in the eyes. “Do you mean to tell me that Rei and Kakashi are pregnant?”

“I-I thought you knew…” Sekkachi stammered. Her hands grew clammy as she willed Guy to release her from his grip. She watched as he began to seemingly vibrate with excitement, something welling up deep within his chest before almost combusting. “Guy…don’t you dare. G-Guy, I swear to god! Don’t you—”

And then he was off in a flash, racing down the street and skidding around corners fast as a bullet toward Rei and Kakashi’s apartment. He needed to confront his eternal rival on this wondrous news once and for all. Sekkachi dropped her head back with a groan before chasing after him. The pit of her chest tightened with regret and the fear of the impending confrontation. At least she knew Guy would likely take this far better than Rei’s parents would.

Kakashi rested a gentle hand on his fiancée’s lower back as she leaned over the toilet, vomiting profusely yet again. She seemed to be so sick so often, he wondered how her body even managed it. He had watched the way her hands shook as she had stood over the sink that morning and brushed her hair slowly, methodically, as if the tangles were a tricky math problem that required focus and precision. The way her nose twitched and her face paled, the way she tried to swallow it back to no avail. He had skidded to her side the minute she spun and fell to her knees, scooting her closer to the toilet for extra security. She clung to the toilet seat with a white-knuckle grip, her body cold and clammy and her chest heaving monstrously. Once the expulsion was complete, she fell back into his lap gasping for breath, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“I’m so sorry, ‘Kashi” she gasped, shaking her head and raking her fingers through her hair.

“Don’t apologize” he replied, leaning forward to flush the toilet for her. “I know you can’t help it.”

“I just hate this so much” she whimpered, pressing her palm over her eyes. Her vision was spotty and warped, like right before she was to pass out.

“It’ll be okay” he assured her, rubbing her shoulder sweetly. “I was looking over those pamphlets and they said the vomiting usually dies down after the first trimester. Don’t worry, there’s an end in sight.” He fed her a reassuring smile, pressed his lips to her sweaty temple.

“I hope so” Rei huffed. She shifted yet again, signalling that she was ready to stand. Kakashi rested a hand on her back as he rose to his feet behind her, ensuring that she would not fall, before extending a hand to help her up slowly.

“Do you want me to stay with you while you get ready?” he asked. He was terrified of leaving her unsupervised, of all the negative possibilities that could occur.

Rei sniffled and shook her head, leaning against the bathroom counter for support. “N-No, it’s okay. I think I’ll be fine” she assured him. Toshio nosed the bathroom door open, trudging up beside her as if to assure Kakashi that he could chaperone. Kakashi scratched the dog appreciatively behind the ear before planting another quick kiss on Rei’s cheek, then returning to the kitchen. Across the counter sat his abandoned breakfast preparations, miraculously untouched.

As he whisked egg yolks in a bowl and hovered his hand over the frying pan, there was a rapid, rhythmic knock at the door and Kakashi’s body immediately went ice cold. He knew that knock anywhere. Roused from his morning haze, Toshio leapt to his feet and raced to the door, barking madly as if he, too, recognized the source of the sound. And with Toshio alerting their guest of their presence, Kakashi knew there was no avoiding the confrontation now. They could not hide from Might Guy.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Kakashi drew his mask up over his face and slowly approached the door, mustering the mental strength to deal with Guy at this hour. Or at least under the current circumstances.

Knowing Guy, he was most likely just vying for another sparring match. The fresh summer air always seemed to feed his insatiable energy. Kakashi redirected Toshio out of the way, clutched the doorknob, and rehearsed his polite refusal in the back of his mind. He would keep things vague, perhaps say he was just tired and that Rei had the stomach flu. He intended to tell Guy of the prengnacy in due time. It hadn’t even been a week since they had found out. He and Rei were still grasping at the weight of this new reality themselves. Keeping things vague would have to suffice.

Kakashi creaked the door open with an already-apologetic smile. Without a moment of hesitation, Guy barged into the apartment and pointed at his eternal rival with a manic look in his eyes. “Kakashi!” he exclaimed and the Copy Ninja felt his body stiffen and chill. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could even make a sound, Guy interrupted yet again. And his words shot an icy bullet straight through Kakashi’s chest. “You didn’t tell me you were having a baby!”

Oh no. Kakashi froze, speechless. Finally, he managed to muster a deflated, “Well, technically it’s not me who’s having the baby…” as he poked his stomach. Although maybe I ought to add some more sit-ups to my daily exercise routine, he then thought.

Guy blinked despondently. “I mean you and Rei!” he clarified. There was perhaps an undercurrent of hurt in his voice, a sense of sadness in having been excluded from such a massive turn of events.

“Listen, I-I was going to tell you this week” Kakashi stammered. “Guy, we only just found out.” He hated that he was so anxious about the thought of having perhaps angered Guy. Kakashi really meant no harm in not having told him the news yet. He hoped that Guy would understand.

The bedroom door creaked open then and Rei trudged out into the light, rubbing her aching forehead and muttering under her breath. When she felt two pairs of eyes land on her, she paused and her own slowly widened. “What’s going on…?” she asked, looking from her fiancé to Guy and back. Before she could even receive half of an answer, Guy lunged forward and swept her up into a monstrous hug. A yelp escaped Rei’s lips, the abruptness of it all only worsening her headache. In the background, the pounding of frantic footsteps echoed in the complex’s hallway.

“Shit” Sekkachi muttered under her breath, skidding to a halt in the doorway. She leaned against the doorframe, gasping for breath. Her face was sallow and dewy with sweat. “I-I’m so fucking sorry” she whispered to Kakashi. “I tried to stop him but…” Her voice trailed off as she inhaled and pressed a hand to her side, hoping to still the sharp, stabbing cramps.

“It’s okay” Kakashi whispered back. “I know Guy can be a little hard to, um…maintain.”

Enthusiastic tears rolled down Guy’s cheeks as he squeezed Rei tightly. “I’m just so happy for you guys!” he cried. “The both of you are going to make stupendous parents! Your babies are going to be beautiful!”

Sekkachi shook her head as she leaned against the doorway, replying softly to Kakashi, “Unfortunately.”

And then Guy leaned back to get a better view of Rei, gushing, “And look at you! Already glowing with the spirit of fresh youth!”

Rei blushed, averting her eyes with anxious laughter. “I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s what happens when you spend all morning puking” she muttered under her breath.

A weight released from Kakashi’s back as he watched the two of them interact. He was so terrified that Rei would be furious about Guy having found out the news before she could approve. Not that it was his fault, of course, but Rei’s temper had been questionable and Kakashi was the closest target. Dropping his shoulders, he skirted around to the sink and poured Sekkachi a much-needed glass of water. She took it graciously, muttering a thanks before taking a long, desperate swig. “So I take it you were the one who told her?” Kakashi then asked.

With a gulp, Sekkachi slumped in defeat. “It just slipped out, I didn’t mean to” she sighed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Well, Guy was bound to find out sooner or later” Kakashi replied, ruffling his hair. He glanced to his rival and fiancée over his shoulder and cringed in secondhand embarrassment. Guy had since transitioned into gushing about the amazing feats that Rei’s body was about to accomplish, of how incredible a process it all was, and orating several well-meaning but rather uneducated pregnancy facts. All the while, Kakashi could see Rei’s face tinge green, overwhelmed.

To be fair, this was exactly why Kakashi had held off telling Guy right away. He had hoped that he would be able to handle things privately, preferably with Rei out of the picture. He didn’t want to add any more to her burden. She already had enough to worry about.

“I guess I ought to step in and put an end to this” Sekkachi whispered, downing the last of her drink and slamming the empty glass on the counter. “Yo, Rei? Are you ready to go?” she called across the room.

The mere mention of the word go caused Toshio’s ears to perk up, immediately rushing to Rei’s side to leap excitedly and nudge her hand with his snout. Rei wiggled out of Guy’s one-armed embrace, flashing him a half-assed apologetic smile. She allowed Toshio to tug her toward the front door by the hem of her tunic. He spun this way and that, nearly knocking Rei over as she stumbled to slip her shoes on. Smirking, Sekkachi extended an arm to help steady her as she hopped on one foot and tugged at her sandal. “You’re welcome” she whispered.

Rei shook her head and rolled her eyes playfully, whispering back “I’m not out of the woods yet. Nowhere near it.” If anything, a part of her perhaps even hoped that Guy had taken over her entire afternoon. He was overwhelming, of course, but his positivity was a breath of fresh air. Deep down, they all knew that the rest of the afternoon would go nowhere near as smoothly.

If Rei had it her way, she would never even have to tell her parents of the pregnancy to begin with. The fear of uncertainty was not the issue here—rather, the opposite. Her father would be furious at the thought of Kakashi even laying a roving hand on her in the first place, and her mother would surely break down in tears, relieved that Rei would finally abandon her dangerous career for the sake of sheltered domesticity. The thought of it all made Rei’s stomach churn. She swallowed back her anxiety as she gave Sekkachi a light shove on the shoulder. A silent plea that they needed to get out and fast.

Kakashi paused for a moment as he watched Rei shove her way through the front door. The frying pan sizzled and hissed on the stovetop. “Rei, w-wait!” he called after her. “What about breakfast?”

Rei glanced at him over her shoulder and for a moment he swore her entire body was trembling. “I’m not hungry!” she called back to him, waving him off dismissively. Gripping Sekkachi’s wrist, Rei tugged her around the corner and they were gone.

Kakashi tried to handle Rei’s faltering appetite with grace. He tried to remind himself of how unruly stomach had been as of late, and that he should not force her to eat when she was already so sick. And yet the thought of her skipping meals made him anxious. He pursed his lips behind his mask, turned back to the kitchen. Guy cocked a brow in curiosity as he sensed the unease. With a sigh, Kakashi poured the eggs into the pan with a hiss and asked over his shoulder, “Are you hungry?”

Much like the rest of Konohagakure, the Kaminoki Bookshop was quiet for a Monday morning. Toshio pushed the door open with his nose, the bell overhead chiming to signal their arrival. Slumped behind the counter was Yuzu enthralled in some book about the Third Great Ninja War. She glanced up for only a second, calling up the stairs, “Mrs. Natsuki! Your daughter’s here!”

“Thank you, Yuzu! I’ll be right down!” Hana replied. Rei could hear her padding around upstairs, likely in the kitchen by the geography of her footfalls. She seemed louder now than before, heavier, as if at any moment she would break through the ceiling and crash down on top of her. An anxious lump rose into the back of Rei’s throat and without another moment of hesitation, she ducked behind one of the bookshelves for respite. Rei launched herself toward the political texts and tugged down a massive hardback almost too heavy for her to carry.

“What are you doing…?” Sekkachi whispered, eyeing her suspiciously. “I thought you were to look for books on the p-r-e-g.”

“I am, you idiot” Rei whispered back, adjusting the book in her hands. She propped open the cover, began ripping off the dust jacket. “What? Do you think the pregnancy brain has already fucked me over? No. I just need to handle this delicately.” Toshio huffed and nodded as if to emphasize his master’s point.

Sekkachi cocked a brow as she watched Rei shove the book, naked, back onto the shelf and then spin into the arts and sciences aisle. She skipped past anatomy, astronomy, biology, and chemistry all the way up to the pregnancy and reproduction section. There were only a handful of books, many of them dated or otherwise ignored and coated with a thick layer of dust. Rei pulled the most popular title into her arms, shoving the political dust jacket over the cover, and began flicking through. She paused on the fetal development chart.

Peering over her shoulder, Sekkachi snorted and asked, “So which one of these is yours?” She chuckled at how bizarre the images looked, like little aliens.

“Probalby this one” Rei whispered back, pointing to the image marked as eight weeks. Sekkachi squinted down at it, studying the curled little figure with beady eyes and unformed features.

After a moment of deliberation, Sekkachi blurted out, “It looks like a shrimp.”

Toshio barked loudly, as if in response to the mention of food. And then all at once, he nudged Rei hard on the back of her thigh, whipped around, on high alert. “There you girls are!” a voice called from around the corner—Rei’s mother. Startled, Rei yelped and stumbled backward, knocking into the fine arts section. A handful of poetry anthologies tumbled to the ground. “What are you doing looking at pregnancy books, anyway?” Hana then asked, her eyes darting to the book in Rei’s hand. The dust jacket had gone crooked, the cover of What to Expect When You’re Expecting poking out from behind. Rei’s entire body went cold. She was paralyzed.

“I was looking for my cousin” Sekkachi suddenly interrupted, stepping in front of Rei and waving her book in Hana’s face. “Tenjikubotan got knocked up so she asked me to look into some pregnancy manuals for her. She’s all hellbent on learning about ‘the beauty of her body’ and all that good shit.”

Numbing shock made way for chilling relief as Rei felt the pressure release from her shoulders. Sekkachi always had been a clever liar.

“Oh! Well then tell Tenjikubotan I said congratulations!” Hana beamed. Beneath the delight, however, her voice was tense. Desperate. Flooded with undercurents of her own deep-seated desires for Rei’s life. Rei’s chest tightened as the weight of it pressed hard against her chest, suffocating her. Her mother’s face began to warp in front of her eyes, the bookshelves twisting and swaying and the floor beneath her beginning to cave in. She could see Hana’s lips moving, hear her voice speaking, but she could not comprehend the sound. Rei clutched her book even tighter, the mere thought of it making her sick. Her eyes dropped to the floor, to the poetry books scattered at her feet. Only one had fallen face-up, the sharp words staring back at her with disgusting irony. You are on the eve of a devastating psychological upheaval. A whimper rose up into Rei’s throat as the weight in her chest grew heavier. And then there was a slap on her shoulder, hard and fast. The world clicked back into place.

“Well, Rei? What do you think?” Sekkachi asked through gritted teeth, jerking her gaze toward Hana’s direction.

Rei cleared her throat, croaked out a weak, “W-what did you say, Mom…?”

“I said I just finished making some lemonade, if you want to come up for a drink!” Hana repeated. “Perfect for a hot day like this!”

“O-Oh…” Rei whispered. “Y-Yeah…that would be…that would be great.”

Upstairs, the apartment was flooded with an almost ethereal summer light. The windows were propped open and a light breeze billowed the curtains, sheer and graceful. Ice cubes clinked in a pitcher of lemonade on the kitchen counter, already beginning to sweat. Everything was warm and bright and promising. Rei sucked in a deep breath and hoped for peace.

“I see the lemonade has attracted company, huh?” an old voice jested. On the couch sat Grandma Teiko hunched over a book. She licked her fingertip as she turned the page, a smile inching across her wrinkled face. She met Rei’s gaze then and there was something in her wise eyes that scared her. Something knowing. With the support of her cane, she hoisted herself to her feet and shuffled towared her granddaughter, pulling her in for a kiss on the cheek. Her varicose hands trembled and her lips felt colder than normal. “I guess summer has been kind to you” she then said, idling on Rei’s face for a moment. “You seem very full of life.”

Oh god. Rei’s back shot ramrod straight and she could feel the heat creep across the back of her neck. There was no way Grandma Teiko could know. Who told her? When did she find out? This was all too much. Perhaps it was just a coincidence. Perhaps it was a joke. But then again, Grandma Teiko had strange ways. Grandma Teiko knew everything.

“You do have a certain glow about you, dear” Hana commented, setting out four glasses and distributing the lemonade. Toshio strained his neck to sniff along the edge of the counter, hoping to steal a taste for himself. Hana instead fished a ceramic bowl from the cabinet, filled it with water, and set it down upon the floor for him. Defeated, he trudged toward his place setting and began lapping up his drink sloppily, splashing water all across the kitchen floor.

Sekkachi watched him for a moment before adding, “The heat does that to you.” She nodded toward Hana in thanks as she took her glass.

“Yeah, the heat’s, uh…the heat’s been a killer” Rei muttered as she received her own. Her eyes dropped to the floor as she took a meager sip. The lemonade was so tart and cold, it nearly made her lips pucker, but it felt incredible as it rushed down her throat. She voraciously guzzled the rest and set her glass on the counter, half-hoping her mother would automatically provide her with seconds.

“Well, I hope you’re staying hydrated out there” Hana said. She eyed Rei’s glass curiously but was too delighted to complain. Lifting the pitcher, she poured Rei another glass. “You spend so much time outside with that damn job of yours, I don’t know how you don’t pass out every day.”

Rei pursed her lips, eyes bugged out in anxiety as she took another long drink. “Believe me, that’s uh…that’s not the worst of my worries” she muttered. Grandma Teiko cocked a brow and Rei immediately wished she had never said anything.

“Well, just be grateful you still have your health” Hana then said, raising a finger matter-of-factly. “You know, just the other day, my friend’s cousin’s mother had to be whisked off to the hospital for heat exhaustion and you know what happened? She didn’t make it, the poor girl. Dehydrated beyond repair. But then again, she was also 97 and had other health complications so I’m sure that that had something to do with it…”

For a moment, Rei’s frustration at her mother’s aimless interest stalled long enough for her to feel relieved that she did not linger on Rei’s words. She took another swig of her lemonade as she half-listened to Hana’s tale. All the while, she swore she could feel Grandma Teiko’s gaze everpresent on her back.

The rest of the afternoon progressed in much the same way, with Hana going off on tangents about her friends and especially the mundane occurrences in their childs’ lives. Truthfully, Rei never cared much for Hana’s friends nor any of their families. They were too self-interested, as if their own little sphere of the world was all that mattered. They knew nothing of struggle, stress, and strife. Not compared to her. Rei pressed a hand to her unruly stomach as she finished off her fourth glass of lemonade and prayed for peace.

The thing about it all that bothered Rei the most, however, was that Hana never bothered to ask about her. She made little remarks about her career and impatient comments about wedding plans, but not much else. As the afternoon progressed further, the sun beginning to descend in the west, Rei’s anxiety only expanded further like a black hole in her chest. She needed her mother to show even a glimmer of interest aside from berating her. Just one tiny spark and Rei would have her segue into this terrifying news. The longer she waited, the more terrifying the prospect of it all became.

And then the chime of the bell echoed from downstairs and seemed to snap Hana from her summery daze. “I suppose I better return to work!” she gasped, skirting around the kitchen counter. “Your father would be furious if he knew I was up here wasting time chatting during business hours.”

Rei pursed her lips, glanced around the apartment. “Where is dad, anyway…?” His supposed absence was equal parts relieving and concerning. Perhaps he was off to pick up a new shipment at Ressha Junction, or maybe it was just time for him to renew his business license at the registrar’s office. Regarldess of the reason, deep down a part of Rei hoped that he would not return until late. That way she could procrastinate even further. But even then, she felt unresolved. While she didn’t necessarily want to face her father with this news, she knew it was better to do this quickly and completely. To tell the whole family at once rather than in separate, equally terrifying little instances. A clean cut, quick like a bandaid or a beheading.

Teiko chuckled and rested a gentle hand on Rei’s shoulder. “Where do you think, girl?” she replied, motioning with her thumb toward the locked office door across the room. If Rei listened closely enough, she could hear the scratch of Yuruganai’s pen on paper, the tap of his fingertips against the buttons of his calculator. Curiosity piqued, Toshio lifted his head from his bowl, water dripping down his mouth sloppily, before lumbering nearer and sniffing under the door.

“I should’ve known” Rei scoffed, shaking her head. Busy as always. She glanced to her mother, wondering if she was stupid. Clearly her father already knew about Hana’s social hour. Whether he cared or not was another matter entirely.

Hana pursed her lips and shook her head as if in disdain for Rei’s lack of appreciation. Yuruganai worked hard and he deserved respect. She almost scolded her daughter for being so apathetic but held her tongue. Instead, she rested a a gentle hand on Sekkachi’s shoulder and asked, “By the way, did you find any books for Tenjikubotan? We might as well ring those up for you while we’re at it.”

Sekkachi glanced to Rei with a knowing smirk. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I found a few” she replied. Pleased, Hana ushered her excitedly downstairs.

Rei wasn’t sure whether to trust Sekkachi’s judgment or to launch herself before her in the stairwell and stop her from whatever informational crimes she was about to commit. Either way, however, she knew that was the least of her worries. As she watched them descend, an icy defeat unfurled from the pit of her stomach. Her window of opportunity had slammed shut and crushed her fingers in the sill on the way down. Rei opened her mouth in attempted protest but no sound came out. She was completely and utterly hopeless.

And then a shaky hand patted her on the shoulder, warm and comforting. Rei’s stomach flipped. She turned slowly and there was a knowing twinkle in Grandma Teiko’s eyes. She took hold of Rei’s wrist, turned her palm skyward, and in it placed a very small and worn book the size of a pocket dictionary. A Shinobi’s Guide to Growing a Life. The silhouette of a pregnant woman was stamped on the cover, the text in simple blue. Rei’s breath hitched in her throat, her vision beginning to blur. All she could manage to croak out was a strained, “H-How did you know…?”

“When you’ve been around as long as I have, you just have an intuition for these things” Grandma Teiko chirped, patting an approaching Toshio affectionately on the head. The dog sniffed the air, licked at her fingertips with his spotted tongue, barked in delight. Teiko couldn’t help but laugh. Apparently Toshio approved of her gift, too. The old woman reached out then to press a hand to Rei’s warm, blushed cheek. A promise. “Besides, you’ve got this glow about you, girl. The type of glow you only get when you’re expecting.”

An incredulous, teary laugh broke past Rei’s lips as she lunged forward to wrap Grandma Teiko in a warm embrace. Her fingers grazed the imprint of the woman’s spine through her kimono, her chest rising and falling with each shallow breath. It was inconsequential. “I just wish I knew how to tell my parents” Rei whispered, leaning back to press the heel of her hand to her teary eyes.

“Don’t you worry, girl” Teiko assured her, her face wrinkling with a smile. “They’ll be easier to break the news to than you think.”

“I’m just grateful that you at least know now” Rei sniffled. “I know I’m going to feel a lot safer telling them with your support.”

Grandma Teiko gave a single nod, chuckling. “You know you’ve always had my support” she replied. “How do you think you want to do it?”

“Well, I was hoping to tell them today” Rei admitted, “but clearly that didn’t work out.”

“It wouldn’t have been a good time anyway” Teiko shook her head. “Your father’s been up in arms about the last quarter, and your mother is in too good a mood.”

Rie pursed her lips, considering her grandmother’s analysis. “I guess the only way to do it would be over dinner or something” she brainstormed.

“That would probably be best” Teiko agreed. “Stage it for your mother like you want to discuss wedding plans. She’ll like that.”

“You think so?” Rei asked. Grandma Teiko cocked a brow as if to insinuate that that was a stupid question. Of course Hana would take delight in such an idea. After all, she was the one who eagerly took Rei wedding dress shopping only a few weeks earlier. She yearned to involve herself completely in the wedding arrangements. Laughing, Rei muttered, “I guess you’re right.”

“I promise, girl, it won’t go nearly as bad as you think it will” Teiko repeated, patting Rei comfortingly on the back. She shuffled toward the staircase, both of them knowing full well that Hana would get suspicious if they hung back too long.

“I hope you’re right” Rei murmured as she idled at the top of the stairs. Toshio nudged her hand comfortingly as she gazed down the daunting, narrow stairwell. Echoes of Hana and Sekkachi’s conversation vibrated through the air. Something in her chest stuck.

And then she felt a hesitation in the air, a strange heaviness. Grandma Teiko reached out for Rei’s wrist yet again and now there was something very different in the old woman’s face. A bittersweet softness unlike anything Teiko had expressed before. The world began to sway to and fro, colors pulsing and fading in threatening technicolor. Something was not right. Rei’s head became heavy and unstable, vision blurring as if in a fog. Grandma Teiko was different now and it terrified her. Something was not right.

“Rei…” the old woman murmured, and for a moment Rei swore there were tears in her eyes. She pursed her lips, hesitated a moment, then reached a varicose hand out to rest upon Rei’s stomach. “I just need you to know…you’re going to make a great mother.”

“G-Grandma…” Rei whispered, placing her hand over Teiko’s. She thought of the little life inside of her, of this massive generational gap. A vision of the possible future flickered in the back of her mind: of Teiko sitting in a hospital room, so small and hunched compared to the large arm chair in the corner, cradling a swaddled newborn in her arms. Of a tiny hand reaching out to wrap around the old woman’s finger. Of the love between a great grandmother and a new little life.

“To think, all those years ago, you never thought you’d get this” Teiko continued, laughing softly. “And now here you are. An accomplished kunoichi, captain of the ANBU black ops. Marrying the man you’ve always loved, and the two of you bringing a life into the world. I’m so…I’m so proud of you, Rei. I don’t think I could ever be prouder.”

“O-Oh god, Grandma, I just—” Rei stammered, her voice strangled with emotion. She swallowed hard in an effort to remain composed, to halt the tears threatening to spill out from inside of her. She could not cry—not now. She could not handle the confrontation of stepping into that bookstore, eyes puffy and bloodshot, and having to explain to her mother why she had become so overtaken. Rei sucked in a deep breath, increasing the pressure against Grandma Teiko’s hand ever so slightly, dropped her shoulders and forced herself to stay calm. And then, licking her lips, she whispered softly, “Thank you.” A moment of hesitation. A rising sensation in the pit of Rei’s chest. And then, without wasting another moment, she surged forward and wrapped the old woman in one last tight hug. An airy sob broke past her lips. The steady thump of Grandma Teiko’s heart pulsed against Rei’s chest. “Thank you for everything.”

Grandma Teiko petted Rei’s unruly hair and planted a quick, trembling kiss on her forehead. “Your future looks so bright, girl. Never stop chasing that light, do you understand? Don’t ever let it falter.”

“I know” Rei whispered. It was the same sentiment that Grandma Teiko had always instilled her: to keep going, no matter the odds. No matter what anyone else had to say, including her own mind. To persevere, prove her worth, triumph. “I won’t” Rei promised. “You know I won’t.” She leaned back again, smiling fondly, before whispering then, “I can’t wait for you to meet this baby, Grandma. I can’t wait for you to love them and support them and teach them everything they need to know about life, the same wa you did for me.”

Grandma Teiko gave a single nod, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “I know, girl” she whispered. “This little baby has a bright future ahead of her, too. I just know it.” Rei nodded, sniffling as she tried yet again to compose herself. The heaviness in her chest screamed at her to linger in this moment for a little while longer, to absorb every ounce of this fleeting liminal space, but Grandma Teiko would not have it. “Go on, now, get going” she whispered, urging Rei down the stairs. “Your mother is going to have a fit if you waste any more time.”

While Rei did not consider any of this a waste of time in the slightest, she knew that Grandma Teiko was right. The longer they spent here, the greater Hana’s suspicion would become. Rei could not afford any more complications. The situation at hand must be handled delicately and unfortunately that meant being timely and unassuming. Rei planted one more quick kiss on Grandma Teiko’s cheek, taking her hands in hers as she assured, “I’ll be back soon. I promise.” Grandma Teiko gave a single nod in understanding before giving Rei’s shoulder a light shove, an encouragement for her to be on her way. The stairwell didn’t seem quite as daunting anymore, nor did the echoes of conversation floating up from downstairs. The promise of Grandma Teiko’s support filled her with a newfound strength and calm, something Rei desperately needed at a time like this. No longer was she as scared of what was to come. So long as Grandma Teiko was by her side advocating for her, Rei would be just fine.

Sekkachi hefted the heavy tote of pregnancy books onto her shoulder as she and Rei made their way back down the street. “You know, you owe me big time for this” she huffed.

“Sorry” Rei cringed, though deep down she couldn’t help but be amused. “Do you want me to pay you back in money or packs of cigarettes?”

“Very funny” Sekkachi snarked. “Just be lucky I love you.”

Rei grinned mischievously. “I always am” Then, reaching for the bag, she asked, “Do you at least want me to take those off your hands? I mean, they are my books, after all.”

Sekkachi shoved her lightly out of the way, however, and shook her head. “Didn’t you ever hear that pregnant women aren’t supposed to do any heavy lifting?”

“Come on, it can’t be that heavy” Rei replied.

Rolling her eyes, Sekkachi fired back, “Want to bet?” She readjusted the bag on her shoulder, gripping the strap both to ensure that it would stay put and as a defense mechanism toward Rei. “What took you so long, anyway? Were you stealing the rest of your mom’s lemonade or something?”

Rei hated that even the mere mention of her mother’s lemonade left her salivating. An ache rooted in her chest at the thought of it, light and cold and pucker-sweet. She would have to get the recipe, or just pay her mother to make her seven gallons worth. But that was not important right now. Shaking her head, she replied, “Just having a private talk with Grandma Teiko. She, uh…she knows.” Rei fished the little book out of her back pouch then, holding up for Sekkachi to see. Toshio peered up curiously as the trio walked along.

Sekkachi’s eyes skated across the cover before laughing and shaking her head. “I should’ve known” she said. “I swear, that women must be a fucking psychic or something.”

“Pretty close to it” Rei laughed. As she tucked the book back into her pouch, her opposite hand idled on her stomach. She mused for a moment on life, on the miraculous nature of existence, of death and birth and the fragility of it all. Of the little baby growing inside of her, small and weak and strange. An amalgamation of cells, features unformed, a creature not yet evolved. It still didn’t feel entirely real. “I just hope…” Rei then said, voice much softer now. Sekkachi and Toshio both eyed her curiously. Rei sucked in a deep breath. “I just hope that Grandma Teiko was right. That my future—our future—is as bright as she says it is.”

“Why should you think any different?” Sekkachi asked. Smirking, she added, “I mean, I’m sure it will be. After all, doesn’t Grandma Teiko know everything?”

“You’re right” Rei laughed, rubbing her stomach tenderly. A soft smile tugged at the corner of her lips and for perhaps the first time, she found herself beginning to truly accept the matter at hand. The promise of becoming a mother, regardless of the bad timing and all the strings attached. We’ll be alright, baby, she thought to herself. Grandma Teiko is never wrong. We just need to keep chasing that light.

Baby, our future is so, so bright.

#kakashi hatake #rei natsuki #kakashi x oc #the scarecrow and the bell #naruto #naruto oc #fanfiction

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radramblog · 3 years

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Radiohead Retrospective Part 5: I forgot what I was gonna call this one

The previous few entries in this retrospective have had a big old lead-in, about where the band was and how the next album came to be. This gets somewhat awkward now, as we discuss Radiohead’s fifth album, Amnesiac.

The issue is, this tracks on this album were recorded in the same session as Kid A, and it was released just over half a year later, so there isn’t as much to talk about. Kid A was, obviously, huge, but its success wouldn’t affect Amnesiac that much. I guess it got a bunch of music videos? Like, Kid A didn’t have singles, so it didn’t have either those or B-sides.

Regardless, despite being recorded simultaneously, Amnesiac is not truly cut from the same cloth as Kid A. It’s a titch more traditional and less electronic, bringing in jazz influences and classical stuff in addition to the electronica the previous album debuted. It also apparently has krautrock influences, but I don’t really know what that means, so perhaps we should just dive into it and find out.

Much like Kid A and Everything In Its Right Place, Amnesiac opens on an electronic line, albeit one that is slightly less iconic. Packt Like Sardines In a Crushd Tin Box (the spelling errors are not mine) is a substantially more muted introduction, driven by a scattered electronic percussion and a very low melody. The lyrics are pretty simple, but “I’m a reasonable man, get off my case” is kind of just a great, memeable line I’m sure people have had fun with.

Packt Like Sardines does unfortunately introduce us to a problem surrounding Amnesiac, and the discussion surrounding it. It is extremely often considered an outtakes album, a smattering of disconnected tracks, and I consider that completely unfair to the album’s design. However, Packt does inevitably invite comparisons to Everything, and it doesn’t compare favourably. I still really like the song, it’s soft and somehow comfortable in its coldness, but Everything is, well, everything.

This theme may continue.

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It is exceptionally frustrating that a higher-quality copy of this video isn’t available, because it’s really good.

There was a solid period where I considered Pyramid Song my favourite Radiohead track. It is impossibly deep, and beautiful, and above all else evocative. I have no idea why it’s called the way it is, a name echoing either geometry or the ancient past, but the little piano loop Pyramid Song is built upon is just…so much. The lyrics aren’t especially complex, but they manage to capture a very specific emotion of loss and grief, but of absolution, and just hnnng.

If you didn’t watch the video, by the way, go fucking do that. It might have the graphics of an early 00s video game cutscene, but it is genuinely as evocative and tragic as the song itself. Although according to the comments, Pyramid Song was apparently in Cyberpunk 2077, which on the one hand is cool it exposed a bunch of new people to this baller song, on the other hand it deserves so much better than being in that of all games.

I’m just going to say this ahead of time, I don’t think Radiohead captures beauty so well again until two albums from now.

We go from the utterly iconic Pyramid Song to the significantly less so Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors. I…really don’t know what there is to say about this one. It’s kind of an electronic soundscape more than a piece of music. It technically has lyrics, but they’re so heavily affected that it’s hard to see them as separate from the tune itself. I’ve spoken before about songs that are driving towards a point, that have a clear sense of forward motion from a repeating instrumental that feels like the consistent rattle of a train car. This song sort of has that, but without as much of the energy as those songs often have- it’s like a ride you have no control over. It’s basically fine, but I have no idea when I’d ever go out of my way to listen to this.

Also, what the fuck is a Pulk? That’s actually a word, I’m not getting a red underline like with Crushd, but I’m not sure if it’s an intentional misspelling or not.

The next song, You and Whose Army?, is something I remember as being way less subtle than it is. I mean the lyrics are very clearly directed at a person, and spoilers, it’s UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, but if you don’t know the period, or the band’s politics in general, it’s probably going to go right over your head.

It’s a song with two clear halves. One of them is quiet, muted even, subtle instrumentation over muffled vocals, and the second is swelling, and triumphant, powerful instrumentation over muffled vocals. The second half is a lot of fun, but it wouldn’t feel as paid off were it not for the first, so fair enough. I think I used to like this song a lot more than I do now, unfortunately.

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I Might Be Wrong is probably the most traditional song we’ve seen from this band in a minute, huh. A bass-driven track that is unquestionably a rock song, even with more electronic percussion and effects on it. Try listening to this with headphones, by the way- it’s extremely heavily panned, something I picked up on in high school since every pair of earphones I’d get would break in one ear eventually.

Despite the previous track’s eventual energy, I Might Be Wrong conveys the general mood of the album- that is, it’s pretty mellow? Even as the bluesy groove keeps going, the track never gets as intense as even say No Surprises. It’s a bit of a vibe, isn’t it? I especially enjoy the little Afterword the song has, it’s not much but I feel like it really adds to the track as a whole.

Wait how the fuck is You And Whose Army? more popular than this? What 23 million people pop that song on the reg? I don’t understand.

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Considering the subject matter of this song, and that I’d never watched it before, I was somewhat apprehensive clicking this music video. And…..yeah………..it sure is like that…..

Anyway so Knives Out is about eating people. Probably? That’s the text of it, the subtext is probably a fair bit deeper than that. Like taking advantage of what people leave behind in their absence in a more general, non-cannibalistic sense. Maybe.

I think this song is the most acoustic/least electronic song on the album? Save for one we’ll get to later, maybe. Its lyrics are kind of gross, but that’s allowed.

I’m somewhat frustrated by the lack of things I can think of to say, because I really like this song. It’s a lot like I Might Be Wrong, in that it’s a more chill rockier song than most of the album, but with a different sort of vibe. Uhh…yeah? Shrug? 8/10, would listen to again.

Anyway, we now hit Morning Bell/Amnesiac as track number 7, and it’s the least subtle reference to Kid A I guess you can think of. I mean, it’s a different version of the same song, much louder and more discordant. Bits of it sound like they could be comforting, but juxtaposed with some of the more distressing elements it’s a bit of a whirlwind.

I can comfortably say that Morning Bell/Amnesiac is A Good Song. However, I can’t really appreciate it as such, for a very silly reason. Since I thought the pun would be good, I had this track as my morning alarm for a very long time, and as a result, I cannot stand listening to it. Let this be a warning, never use a song you like to try and get out of bed, if you want to keep liking it.

Dollars and Cents is another sparse, low rock track that eventually builds into a bigger deal as it goes on. Honestly, it’s kind of hard to make out the instruments, a low cymbal line and loose guitar folding in on each other in the background. It, regrettably, doesn’t quite land on the same stick as many of the other tracks on the album, being basically fine but not really notable? And I think that’s the biggest difference between Amnesiac and Kid A, Amnesiac actually misses. Like, I always forget about In Limbo, but it’s unquestionably a good song. Between many of Amnesiac’s more experimental tracks not living quite up to snuff, and Dollars and Cents being largely okay, it’s no wonder why the album is often seen as the inferior follow-up.

This is not particularly helped by the ninth track, Hunting Bears, a loose guitar instrumental that doesn’t work nearly as well as Treefingers. It doesn’t have the vibe, and it doesn’t fit as cleanly in the middle of the album like that one does. It’s just, kind of, there. I genuinely usually skip it when I listen to this album, but I figured it wouldn’t be fair to do that here. It’s just, kind of, a miss. Pretty short, though- I could believe this originally having been part of Dollars and Cents, like a longer version of the end bit from I Might Be Wrong.

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While I know this is a video for both Pulk/Pull and Like Spinning Plates, I associate it more with the latter. Not only is the version of Pulk/Pull very different from the album, well, you’ll see why I think the LSP bit is more memorable.

I think Like Spinning Plates is extremely cool. If nothing else, it’s super interesting how they got this to work. The vocal effect for the first verse was achieved by getting Thom to sing the lyrics, reversing that recording, having him memorise how that sounded and perform that, and then reversing that into the final results. How cool is that? I think it’s cool. Also at some points in the second verse, they’re playing a forwards and backwards vocal track simultaneously, which is a really neat effect.

The instrumental is…hard to describe. Apparently, it was a result of trying to make I Will (which would release one album later), which they reversed and played with to get this track. If you’re very familiar with that song, I suppose you could hear that, but I can’t. I just sit back and appreciate the music.

Amnesiac’s final track is Life in a Glasshouse, easily its most bombastic and jazzy. This sounds like a cabaret closer, a swaggering tragedy, an exploratory rehearsal of a final track. It also kind of sounds like a mental breakdown, which, mood.

There’s like, a whole band on this thing. Horns and woodwinds, a piano and probably more than one percussion element. The clarinet (?) noodling on the song is incredibly fun, giving it an almost playful edge, undercutting the downtempo mood of the song, and keeping it from being such a dirge. Especially as the track builds towards its finale, it’s clear that there was a bit more fun going on here. Of course, it can’t end on such a climax, as that little stitch of paranoia that ends up being the album’s closing word manages to sneak through.

And that ends Amnesiac. Now, obviously, it isn’t as good as Kid A. It’s less consistent, it doesn’t have Idioteque, et cetera. But I don’t actually think the comparison is as one to one as often it appears people do. The styles of the albums are completely different- Kid A incorporating so much ambient and electronic noise while Amnesiac has more of the acoustic and jazzy stuff going on. The two albums may have released closely, and recorded even moreso, but they are extremely different beasts at the end of the day.

It’s far from my favourite album of Radiohead’s, but I wouldn’t fault anyone for having it as theirs, you know.

We’ll get to my favourite album next week, where we will also see if I can either defend or maintain that opinion. Hail to the Thief beckons.

#ramble #music #radiohead #amnesiac

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ryuubees-moved · 3 years

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summary ; ryuunosuke finds that the moments he spends with his new friend hachimitsu are like espresso shots: small and fleeting, yet nonetheless revitalizing...then again, perhaps it’s more than a simple friendship that’s brewing.

pairing ; ryuubee (ryuunosuke tsunashi x hachimitsu aino)

a/n ; let me just start by saying that love is one hell of a motivator, apparently—i wrote this in 5 days and it ended up just under 4.5k words?? which is the most i’ve ever written in that short of a time period,,,crazy.

anyways!! i thought it’d be fun to do something special for our three month anniversary (especially considering i forgot the day and missed the last two but shhh), so this is a little trip down memory lane with a little lot of oblivious pining on ryuu’s end. it’s a far longer read compared to my last fic, but i hope you give it a go and enjoy it!! 🤎

ryuu remembered their first meeting like it was yesterday.

night had begun to settle over the city, bringing with it a faint chill as he walked home from a hectic day. it was still hard to believe that they had won at the black or white competition little more than a month ago, but, since then, the skyrocket in popularity that came with their victory had left him with busier schedules than before. it wasn’t that he minded—though it was hard work, he still enjoyed it—but he’d found that free moments like these were becoming increasingly difficult to come by. and when work typically consisted of not only rushing between rehearsals, publicity stunts, and the like, but mediating the ever-frequent spats between his two groupmates as well, he’d come to appreciate these quiet moments where he finally had time to think and unwind.

it seemed that the night had other plans for him, however, as his train of thought was cut short at the sound of a familiar melody playing from nearby—all too familiar, in fact, he noted as he stopped in his tracks for a moment. after all, that was definitely one of their songs he was hearing, wasn’t it? it may have been one of their newer releases, but it was still easily recognizable—and, from what he could hear, whoever was playing it sounded good.

his curiosity piqued, he resumed his walking, the melody growing louder as he followed it to its source. eventually, he stopped at the door of a small café situated along the street, the sign hung above the door reading "kumamai café," accompanied by a little bear drawing that he assumed was the store mascot. his hand rose to the door handle, resting there for a moment as he debated whether or not to enter, but eventually made up his mind, readjusting the mask on his face before stepping inside.

the bell by the door chimed softly as it closed behind him, though it was paid no mind as he laid his eyes on the singer. she was seated on a stool towards the back of the café, her gaze on the guitar she was strumming as she led into the chorus of the piece. it was new, hearing a song like theirs in an acoustic form like, but it was far from bad. maybe it was the way the accompaniment carried through the microphone, or the way her voice lilted along every phrase, but he soon found himself lost in the melody, hanging on to the notes he knew by heart.

and then, as suddenly as he’d heard her, it was over, the strum of the final chord snapping him from his trance. as the guests began to applaud, and him with them, she looked up from her instrument with a smile.

"alright, that’s all for tonight!" she announced cheerily into the mic. "thank you all for coming to listen!"

oh, that was it? it seemed he’d only caught the tail end of her performance. the applause quickly simmered down, the members of her audience returning to whatever conversations they may have been engaged in before. his attention remained on her, though, watching as she slipped off of her stool and began to set about clearing her things. noticing she seemed to be stuck doing so alone, he made his way over to her to offer some assistance.

"need any help with that?"

"oh!" the girl glanced in his direction as she continued wrapping up the cord from her microphone, flashing him an appreciative smile. "if you don’t mind! i just need a little help carrying all of this back to store away until next time."

he gave an affirmative hum and set about picking up some of the heavier-looking items, following after her as she led him to the storage cabinet in the back of the café, directing him as to where it all went.

"…and that should be the last of it!" she concluded, brushing off her hands on her jeans before turning to face him fully. "thanks for your help, um—"

she cut herself off abruptly as her eyes landed on him, shock and realization slowly dawning on her face. "wait…you’re—!"

she’d recognized him? well, considering she had just been performing one of his group’s songs, maybe it shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise. tenn had always told him that he and gaku were still pretty noticeable despite their disguises, especially now with their popularity on the rise. "ah, yeah," he confirmed her discovery, his hand rising to the back of his neck as he chuckled sheepishly.

at that, she clasped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide as saucers. "oh my god, i’m so sorry! i didn’t even notice, and you…" she trailed off, struggling to find her words amid her disbelief. "…you heard me?"

he nodded, lowering his mask and offering her a smile—they were the only two back there and she’d already figured him out, so he supposed it was alright. "only that last one, but you sounded good! i was impressed by what i heard, especially considering that son hasn’t been out very long."

a squeal escaped through her bit-back grin, practically bouncing in her place as she flapped her hands excitedly. he had to admit, it was quite endearing to see.

"you’re kidding! you really—" she cut herself off with a breathless laugh, growing more awkward as she began to settle. "sorry, i just…i’ve been doing this for years, but i never would’ve expected this! it’s like a dream...i mean, you’re here, and you heard me singing your song, and you…you liked it?"

once again, he answered with a simple nod, which seemed to be more than enough to brighten her features once more. even so, she cleared her throat in an attempt to calm herself.

“well, i suppose i probably shouldn’t keep you! i’m sure the life of a black or white champion is a busy one, and i wouldn’t want you wasting your free time like this,” she mused, adjusting her glasses with a sheepish expression. “thanks again for your help, ryu—er, tsunashi-san.”

“happy to help,” he replied with a chuckle. “and it wasn’t a waste at all! this was just the break i needed to end my day.”

“really?” she blinked at him owlishly. “well, if that’s the case, i’ll be doing another one of these again a week from now, if…”

she trailed off, but it wasn’t hard to figure out what she was implying. then again, maybe it was because he had found her hopeful proposition so appealing. “i’ll keep it in mind, um...”

“aino hachimitsu,” she finished for him. “sorry, i guess i forgot to introduce myself.”

“it’s alright, don’t worry,” he assured her. “well then, aino-san, i’ll try to stop by if i can.”

sure enough, he’d managed to stop by that next week—and the next, and the next, until the two found themselves settling into their own little routine before they even realized it. they certainly had their share of awkward moments, of course, but even so, he found that being around her brought him an odd sense of comfort he couldn’t quite place. he’d come to appreciate the nights he got to spend just talking with her in the back of the café, away from any stresses of work or fan’s prying eyes.

"you seem tired today, tsunashi-kun. you didn’t have too much trouble at work, did you?"

well, away from all but one.

"no, work’s been the same as usual," he assured her, though he could still see the doubt in her eyes as she stared him down from her chair. "things have just been a little busier with the concert coming up, that’s all."

"oh, that’s right! that’s in a few weeks, isn’t it?"

"mhm. are you going?"

"of course, i have my ticket and everything! i even splurged a little and got myself a good seat," she declared, puffing her chest out proudly while he chuckled at her response. "i was glad i managed to get one before they sold out, honestly."

he was relieved by the fact, too, though he didn’t mention it. it was true, their notoriety made tickets hard to come by, typically selling out within a day or two. he was certainly experienced in his work by now, but that wasn’t to say that he didn’t still feel that pang of nerves before a performance. just knowing he’d have a friend out there in the audience cheering him on already helped to put him a little more at ease.

"how have you been, though?" he asked after a moment, moving their conversation forward. "i assume things have been normal here?"

"yep! business has picked up some, but otherwise it’s all good here," she answered, though she grew more sheepish as she went on. "between you and me, though, i think some people have caught on to the rumor that you’ve been coming here. i get questions every once in a while from a couple customers."

"oh, really?" that was a cause for concern. his visits hadn’t caused them any trouble, had they? hachimitsu seemed to be fine with it and her boss had never complained, but he didn’t want to end up making them overwhelmed later on. and what if it sparked some odd rumor about the two of them? tenn and gaku would never let him hear the end of it, and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to know what president yaotome would say on the matter, considering it definitely wouldn’t be anything good.

"oi, earth to tsunashi!"

a poke on his shoulder accompanied by her raised voice served to startle him out of his worries, and he looked to his companion to see her staring at him with her brows furrowed. however, as she heaved a sigh, her expression softened upon successfully regaining his attention—he wasn’t sure how long she’d been trying.

"it’s nothing to worry about, okay? i promise we’ve got things under control here," she told him sincerely, a laugh escaping her as she continued. "it’s not like this is some sort of big scandal or anything, after all! i’ve just had to disappoint a curious fan or two with a little 'oh, i wish i could say i’ve met him!' you know, waxing poetic and all that.”

finding her laughter infectious, he couldn’t resist the amused smile that tugged at his lips. "little do they know, huh?"

"little do they know," she echoed, a similar look gracing her features. "so no stressing here! i wouldn’t wanna lose my vip audience because of a couple fangirls. that, and i really enjoy your company."

"alright, i’ll take your word for it, then." his smile had only grown at her comment, touched by her reasonings and glad to hear that she appreciated these moments as well. in only a few weeks, it seemed that she already had a knack for knowing how to make him feel better. "thanks, aino."

"of course! now, moving on...since you’ve obviously been spending a lot of time prepping for your concert, are there any fun work stories you can share with me?"

he laughed at her request, his concerns dissipating as he put them behind him. "well, there was this one moment today when—"

"hacchan!"

a voice cut in on their conversation, and the two turned to the doorway to see the café owner standing there.

"sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt you two!" he apologized, bowing to them both before turning to his employee. "i just wanted to let you know that i need to head out for the night. you don’t mind closing up tonight, do you?"

"not at all! i’ve told you i can take care of closing on these nights, kumamoto-san," she replied, getting up from her seat to grab the keys from the man. "did you want me to go ahead and do that now?"

"no, no, you two take all the time you need. i just thought i’d let you know. goodnight, both of you!"

they both offered their goodnights, and ryuu watched as she stared after her boss for a moment before turning back to him, hurrying back to her seat with an eager grin, one that he couldn’t help but mirror.

"so, where were we?"

"happy new year!"

hearing hachimitsu’s voice through the phone, cheerful as ever, immediately brought a smile to his face. it was still hard to believe that a year had already come and gone, especially considering all that had happened within the past months. between all of the concerts and events they’d participated in (or not, he noted, considering the sound ship incident), their newfound rivalry with the still-new idolish7, and, as of that night, their big showdown at black or white, the past year had felt full of unforgettable events.

"happy new year! did you watch the competition?"

an incredulous scoff sounded from the other end. "are you kidding? me, watch black or white? i wouldn’t miss it for the world!"

"just thought i’d make sure," he said amusedly, a soft chuckle escaping him. "so? what did you think?"

"oh my god, it was amazing! i’ll have you know i got chills watching both of your performances, even from the television," she told him. even without seeing her, he could recognize her excitement from her voice, easily able to picture the grin on her face and the sparkles in her eyes she always had when talking about things like these. he always enjoyed listening to her ramble on about the pieces she got interested in, whether he knew them or not.

"yeah, idolish7 did a great job, didn’t they? i think we all nearly started cheering them on."

"right? they just have this draw to them or something."

"i think so, too. they definitely earned that win tonight."

"hey, you guys deserved it just as much! i was impressed that the votes were so close," she noted, quick to jump to their defense. "i’ll have you know i voted for you guys, of course. i even got my family in on it, too!"

"really?"

"yeah, of course! what, you think i wouldn’t be rooting for you? i thought you knew me better, ryuu."

"no, that’s not it! i’m glad to hear it, hachi." he laughed at her antics, but couldn’t ignore the fluttery swell in his chest at her words of support. well, he supposed it was just because he was happy to hear that she was that dedicated to his group, like when their fans started cheering for them after the winners announcement at the competition. settling on that conclusion, he pushed the feeling away, moving the conversation along. "let me guess: you’ve already started trying to learn the songs, haven’t you?"

it was silent on the other end for a brief second, giving him the answer before she even spoke up.

"…i may have recorded the show so i could go back and try to figure out the chords, yeah."

"i thought so," he mused with a laugh. it seemed that every time they or another group released a new song, she’d always managed to pick it up within the next week or two that he saw her. then again, he may have been one to help every once in a while when he could. "how far have you gotten?"

"ryuu, you guys only sang them earlier tonight. i’m not a wizard, y’know," she answered jokingly. "the melodies are easy, but i’ll have to go back and listen to you guys a couple of times first before i really get the hang of the accompaniment. i might try to pick up re:vale’s song while i’m at it, too…"

"you should! they were phenomenal—though i guess i shouldn’t expect less from the overall winners."

"right? they were bound to come out on top with that!"

"well, if you want, maybe i can let you take a peek at my sheet music the next time i’m there?" he offered, "that way you can focus more on the other two, if you think it’ll help."

"ryuu, what do you think i’m going to say?"

he couldn’t help his amusement upon hearing the barely-suppressed excitement in her voice. "alright, i’ll be sure to bring it with me, then."

"yes! i can’t wait!" she cheered, going on hopefully. "next week?"

"next week," he agreed with a smile, feeling that warm, fuzzy feeling again at the prospect. it had been a little while since they’d last met up, what with the holiday rushes and crammed schedules, so he was looking forward to seeing her again. he opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted as another voice cut in.

"ryuu, are you coming? you’re the one who said we should do this…"

"i’m coming, just give me a minute!" he called back, before returning his attention to his phone. "sorry, we’re going out to celebrate our performance. i probably shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer."

"even though you lost?"

"yeah, i thought it’d be good for team morale!"

"oh, gotcha! yeah, i wouldn’t leave them hanging like that," she reasoned amusedly. "you go have fun! i’ll be waiting for you next week!"

"we will," he replied, "and don’t worry, i’ll be sure to remember my music. goodnight, hachi."

the little bell chimed softly as he entered the café, exhaling a content sigh as warmth returned to his body after the winter chill outside. his final rehearsal for the day had run longer than expected, so he could only hope he’d gotten there before she’d gone.

"oh, you’re here!"

looking over to the counter, he was relieved to see her standing there, thus proving his worries unnecessary. she placed the dish she’d been cleaning in its rightful spot before bounding over to him, face alight with happiness.

"sorry i’m late! gaku arrived a bit late from a shoot, so we started later than planned," he apologized, a sheepish smile on his face. "i left as soon as we were done."

"no worries! i figured it had something to do with work since you never texted me about cancelling," she assured him, though her attention quickly shifted as she eyed the folder in his hand, breaking out into a grin. "is that what i think it is?"

"i promised you i’d bring it today, didn’t i?"

"hey, i’m just making sure!" came her defensive reply, though her eyes danced with amusement. "i have to finish up a few things for kumamoto-san first, but can i take a look at it after that?"

"that’s what i brought it for," he pointed out with a laugh. "if you want, i can help you with those, too."

"are you sure? it’s my job, you know. i don’t wanna put you to work after you’ve come here to wind down and all…"

"i don’t mind! besides, the quicker you finish them, the more time you can have to read over the music, right?"

she pondered over his reasonings for a moment as he made his way behind the counter, but eventually gave in with a nod. "yeah, i can’t argue with that," she admitted, before sighing exasperatedly. "honestly, ryuu, you do too much for me."

he only chuckled at that, and the two set themselves to work finishing up her tasks for the day. a comfortable silence settled over them as they worked, save for the occasional bits of small talk they’d throw out to pass the time. he couldn’t help but find the situation comfortably domestic, a thought which sparked a flutter in his stomach that caught him by surprise. it wasn’t a new feeling by any means—in fact, he’d felt it a small handful of other instances in their times spent together—but he had never been able to place exactly what it was. still, he wasn’t given much time to dwell on the matter, not as hachimitsu brought up another story of hers that quickly stole his attention.

the minutes passed by on the clock above the counter, but between the two of them, it didn’t take long until each of her assigned chores were taken care of.

“...and that should be the last of it! thanks again for pitching in.”

“of course! i told you i’m happy to help,” he answered as the two stepped back from the counter.

“yeah, i know, i know,” she sighed lightheartedly, giggling softly as she removed her working apron. “i’m gonna go put this back real quick, but i’m checking out that music as soon as i’m back!”

he had no time to respond to her claim as she rushed off eagerly, staring after her retreating form for a moment before making his way back over to where he’d laid the music in question down upon the counter. surely she’d want to waste as little time as possible, he thought to himself, chuckling lightly at the notion as he opened the folder to the first page.

“okay, okay, i’m back! let me see!”

once again, he was given next to no warning other than her call before she was back by his side, nearly bouncing with anticipation as she began to look over the notes in front of her. ryuu, however, found himself more focused on the fact that she had practically pressed herself flush against him to get to it, a realization which only brought back that fluttery feeling, along with a warmth to his face.

seeming to notice their proximity only seconds after him, she quickly jumped back, a blush dusting her own cheeks (it was cute, honestly...not that that was important, though). “oh my god, i’m so sorry! i was so excited, i just—”

“i-it’s alright!” he cut her off with a response he could barely squeak out, clearing his throat in an attempt to both calm and hide his sudden nerves. “you just surprised me, is all.”

she eyed him a moment longer, but said nothing, simply settling back into her position as she pored over the melodies. despite his initial reaction, he settled back in close beside her nonetheless, answering her questions and providing commentary on some of the sections she found tricky or confusing. her body felt warm against his own, fitting against his side like a puzzle piece, and he couldn’t help but admire the way her eyes seemed to shine behind her glasses, her gaze trained devotedly on the pages in front of her, or the way her lips pursed in concentration, humming a line or two to herself every so often.

he was certain he was staring, but couldn’t bring himself to look away. that fluttery feeling returned, but this time he found it bearable…almost comfortable, even.

and though he still didn’t quite know what it was, as the night drew on in her company, he hoped it would last forever.

"oi, ryuu!"

he jumped, startled, as he was quite literally snapped out of his reverie, turning in time to see gaku’s hand return to his side as he stared at him exasperatedly. "are you even listening?"

"ah—no, sorry," he admitted sheepishly, offering his friend and groupmate an apologetic look.

the group leader only sighed, hands braced against his hips. "honestly, you were like this all of rehearsal, too! you know you can tell us when something’s bothering you, right?"

"oh, no, nothing’s bothering me!" he assured him, feeling a pang of guilt over potentially causing them any concern. it was true, the thoughts plaguing his mind were anything but concerning. it was just that—

"you’re thinking about her again, aren’t you?"

his eyes widened, and he turned to face their center, who he found eyeing him with a pointed look.

"what was her name again? something like—"

"hachi," ryuu answered quickly—perhaps a bit too quickly, he noted, judging by the identical looks of surprise on tenn and gaku’s faces.

tenn was the first to recover, though, a faint huff escaping him. "well, you can do what you want with your time. just do us a favor and don’t let your little crush get in the way of our work."

wait, what? as his words registered, ryuu felt a rush of warmth to his face. "no, wait, you don’t understand! it’s not like that!"

"i’d say! your crush is anything but little," gaku noted with a teasing smirk, though it was quickly replaced with a glare to their third member upon hearing him mutter a judgmental "like you’re one to talk."

but as the two soon devolved into their usual bickering, he couldn’t bring himself to step in and break them up, his focus occupied with mulling over their claims, however teasing.

that couldn’t be it, right? they were just messing with him. sure, despite what his public image might’ve suggested, he’d had very little romantic experience, but he was certain he’d be able to recognize if he’d fallen for someone.

hachi was just a close friend, after all! they’d known each other for a little over a year now, which was certainly enough to consider her such. it was natural for him to look forward to seeing her, or want to be close to her, or feel his heart swell whenever he made her smile or laugh, or—

oh.

the realization crashed over him all at once. that was it. the nervous jitters, the giddy rushes, the warm, fuzzy feelings...it all made sense, and at that moment he wondered how he’d failed to notice it sooner. how was it that his friends managed to piece it together in teasing, when with all the time he’d spent with her, he hadn’t figured it out?

he couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the situation, the sound of which caused the other two to break off their argument, turning to him with curious expressions.

“sorry, sorry!” he managed to say as his amusement died down. “i just realized that you two might be onto something.”

they shared a look, before turning back to him.

“might?” gaku asked incredulously, raising a brow.

“okay, fine, fine, you’re definitely onto something.”

and despite the grounding realization, he felt as though his heart was lighter than ever.

#honeyed harmonies #okay to rb!!#i'm so impressed i got this done in time ngl i'm usually atrocious with sticking to writing deadlines #but!! i love him and this lots so perhaps that was it <333 #happy anniversary ryuu you oblivious dork 🥺🥺 i adore you #self ship writing

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annhellsing · 4 years

Text

Crucible

notes: a3! has still got my life by the heart so have some heavy-handed smut for my favourite yakuza boss bc he deserves all the love. rating: explicit, this shit is p*rny as hell pairing: sakyo furuichi / reader word count: 2,717

And nothing in the world could steal the hook of his invincible smile. It’s quite a sight, watching Sakyo’s pride bloom as pretty as springtime-- even as October rolls through the city and brings its chill.

He did well on stage. He moved like a little boy who’d been waiting twenty years to get his chance. Better late than never.

He was so handsome, still is handsome with the sharp brim of his fedora casting a shadow over his eyes. And his pressed overcoat hangs from his shoulders but never falls. It’s too perfect to be casual, he’s too perfect.

But all Sakyo allows himself is that smile. Then, he tucks himself up in his room. He’s gone before you even have time to open your mouth, to speak every word you’ve ever tried to hide from him.

Congratulations. You made it. You belong here. You’re loved.

The door closes with a quiet creak. It’s not enough to keep you out, though you doubt he was purposefully trying to. Instead you suppose he might be trying to keep himself in. To process in small sections the euphoria that is so clearly undeserved.

Bullshit. Nonsense. You try the handle and it swivels under your palm. You push your way inside.

“Sakoda, if I have to explain again the importance of knocking--” his voice sounds like a stone sinking. And there is no smile when he turns.

His hat is still on his head, yes, but his coat has already been cast aside. Sakyo’s suit jacket is unbuttoned, his hand tugging on the tie knotted at his throat. He’s already set aside that brief moment of pride, trying to worm his way out of the uncomfortable feeling.

When he’s back in his day clothes, he convinces himself, reality won’t seem so harsh.

But he’s stopped in his tracks when he sees who’s standing at the other end of the room. You close the door quickly behind you to preserve a bit of his modesty. Rowdy teenage boys don’t need more ammunition than they already have.

“I didn’t knock for a reason,” you tell him. “I was hoping--”

“I’m getting ready for the wrap party,” he replies. He’s brusque, off-puttingly so. You’ve heard Sakyo angry before, but this is another beast entirely. There is a quiet plea in his voice when he continues, “So, do you mind?”

“I do,” you say. You step forward.

He knows how to tell you to leave, his tongue even fits around the syllables. But he can’t bring himself to say it, to drive another wedge between him and you.

“I wanted to tell you how amazing you were,” you say, “in private.”

“Thank you,” he nods. And the tops of his shoes must be suddenly very interesting to him. He finds it hard to meet your sincere gaze.

And to confront the look in your eye that says you want to do more than just tell him something.

You take another step and he’s filled with almighty fear. That’s love, he knows it too well. Nothing in the world makes one want to stay put, or to run as fast as one can. One extra step is all it takes to make his poor heart race.

He lifts his head, meets your stare and quiet grin. You’re happy for him, for his pride that he’s suffocated prematurely.

“You were smiling after the curtain call,” you tell him like it wasn’t his mouth it curled on. You have a way of holding yourself, a looseness that he can’t inhabit. No one’s been anything other than afraid of him for so long. But you walk to him like a lover.

Like he’s a husband you’ve come home to.

His office chair holds his coat. It’s poised right behind him, almost like it’s waiting. Your eyes flit to it and the plan you hadn’t planned starts to solidify in your mind. You draw yourself close to him, chest to chest in a way he’s partially familiar with. You and him have been friendly. But he thought that it was only ever for the sake of stress relief.

The two of you are the opposite of anxious, or at least you should be. Him, on the other hand-- it’s a different story.

“Come,” you tell him, “be proud, you did so well.”

“I--” he clears his throat, glancing over your shoulder at the closed but unlocked door.

He can’t help but flinch when you raise your hand. You, who holds so much power over him, is the only person Sakyo can think of who he’d allow to bring the pain. But you rest your palm on his cheek, your thumb brushing gently over the mole under his eye.

You’ve done that before and it’s only ever elicited surface level annoyance. A reminder that while you indulge certain desires with him, he will never be truly yours. This time it’s different, it feels different and he gives up a soft sigh. There’s a slight tremor in his shoulders.

“Smile, darling,” you say, your voice is soft and he knows the tone well. You’re trying to be enticing and goodness, it’s working. “Smile for me, you look beautiful when you do.”

His face stays stony, but your expression hardly shifts at all. Ah well, you didn’t expect a miracle.

Your hand moves from his cheek to his jaw, tracing that sharp line until goosebumps bloom on his skin. His neck is explored next, the neat column artfully lined and a little bit tense under your hand.

“Relax, Sakyo,” you say, “I won’t hurt you.”

And the admission is so honest, so truthful that he can’t help but believe it. He loosens up, almost taken by surprise. You acknowledge that he has cause to worry, to believe himself in danger when his vulnerable parts are laid bare. You don’t shame him for that.

Your fingers touch the collar of his shirt, pulling the fabric aside very gently. Under it, you find the red lip print you left before the start of the show. You made him weak in the knees when you claimed it was for good luck. Evidently, it worked.

He wants another for a job well done. Sakyo’s glad to have the chair behind him, just in case.

“You look sexy in this,” you mutter, your voice sounds heavy and sweet this close. You take the knot of his tie in your hand, it’s loosened enough to be no danger when you pull it taught. Sakyo grunts and leans with the tug. “Of course, you’d look sexier out of it.”

“But--” he starts, amazed that he can force out words with your lips now so close to his. It’s everything in him to swallow a soft whimper.

“I know, cast party. I suppose you won’t have time to change,” you say. You sound genuinely disappointed, which throws him for a loop. You’ve already made up your mind about what you plan to do to him, it seems.

And though Sakyo knows very well that he could stop such talk with a word, he does not.

“I won’t?” he asks, delighted by the light in your eyes and yet deeply embarrassed by the desperation that clings to the inside of his throat. What could you be thinking about?

“No. Sit down,” you are so effortlessly beautiful, pressed up against him without any shame.

You lift your hand and take his sharp fedora. Pulling back, you set the hat on your head. Sakyo stares, a little in a daze that this could be happening for his own benefit. His couplings with you often feel like he is merely the lucky recipient of your general attention.

He never dared to think that your lust could be specific.

“But first, kiss me,” you sigh, you lean in close enough to tempt. “Claim your reward.”

Sakyo blinks, embarrassed to note that the offer of a kiss is what makes his cheeks flush. But with only a small amount of hesitation, he meets you halfway and presses his thin lips to yours. His fingers, delicate and long, tilt your chin very slightly upward.

“You wanted me to sit?” he asks for clarification when he breaks the kiss. It was a good kiss, he thinks, and he’ll be missing your soft mouth for some time. The haze in his eyes tells you he really does need confirmation again. He’s been rattled, how sweet.

“That’s right, be good for me and have a seat. If you won’t allow yourself to be, then let me show you how proud I am,” your hands at his shoulders help to guide him.

He does as you say, sitting heavily in his office chair. It’s nice, he thinks, to be the man at your side. You’re so very much like he remembers, but so much smarter now. So much more real and alive. You make jokes to ease his tension, you coax him into self-softness. And it feels so good.

But you don’t do as he expects. Far from it. Where you would usually straddle him, take him internally until his begging led you to have mercy on him-- this time, you sink to your knees.

Sakyo swallows hard. He knows how this will end.

You kiss him through his trousers, no time to wait or be shy. His legs were already spread, almost in anticipation of your prompt arrival. He’s been hard since you first put your hand to his cheek and he is not proud, but his cock gives a heady throb when you press your nose against his crotch.

“Aren’t we excited?” you tease him just to see if you can bring back some of that joy. It works a little, he exhales hard and white-knuckles the armrests.

“I thought we were short on time,” he comments and you lift an eyebrow. He can’t see you from under the brim of his hat, the uncertainty is unnerving. But when he presses his luck with clipped statements, it makes you press back.

“You’re lucky I already decided to reward you,” the authority in your voice is unexpected, but it does the trick. Sakyo huffs at the sudden, downward rush that grips between his legs. He grunts a little louder when you put your palm there, as if you could tell exactly where you were needed.

“Please,” his voice sounds breathy and soft, a warm sigh that has him slouching in the chair. His legs close just a bit around your hand.

“Please what?” you ask, “You were so good at remembering your lines on stage. What do we say?”

“Please, ma’am,” he grunts again, shifting his hips forward very slightly. “I-- I’ve earned it.”

“Yes, you have,” you smile, “very good.”

He’s too tired to argue, pushed to his limits by the demands of rehearsal and waning euphoria of being on stage. But Sakyo can’t help but think that this kind of appreciation outclasses any he received from tonight’s audience.

His eyes close as you undo his belt, tugging his shirt from his trousers and pressing your fingers against the soft skin of his stomach. You kiss him there, slow and reverent. He gives a shaky sigh.

His fly is undone, you appear to be growing impatient. If he had the mind or energy to, he would tease you about it until you made him behave. He likes that best of all.

But you seem resigned to praising him. Sakyo presses his feet down on the floor, thrusting minutely against your exploring hands and mouth.

Sakyo keeps his own hands to himself, if only so you can have your fun with no interference. He barely knows what he likes, you have more of an understanding of his body than he surely does. He feels your tongue against his pelvic bone and stifles another embarrassing sound.

You don’t give him trouble for that, at least. When you’re alone with him, properly alone and away from the theatre you revel in every noise that he makes. But here, with friends so close at hand-- he’s under no obligation to please you.

Despite the time crunch, you take a moment to appreciate his cock when you gingerly take it from his trouser. He’s never considered it to be anything special, truth be told he’s never considered it at all, but you never fail to look a bit impressed. And a bit hungry.

That thought makes him jump and throb in your small hand. And when you put your tongue to the blunt head, Sakyo can’t quiet his sharp inhale.

You put your hand on his thigh, pushing and holding his leg open and giving you enough room to move. The bed of your tongue presses flat to veins and hot skin. He feels coiled like a spring, wound tight. Your mouth is so warm, so soft and he barely has time to anticipate how it will feel.

You’re on him, bobbing your head to a punishing rhythm. You’ll take no prisoners this evening, you aim to ease that feeling of intense compression in his lower abdomen. Sakyo is grateful, so grateful that the only thing he can say is your name. It’s mangled with satisfaction and desperation, but you still find it sweet.

His eyes are sky-wide. They are two violet stones when you close your mouth around him and give a gentle hum. You press him to the back of your throat, breathing carefully and doing only what you’re comfortable with.

That had to be explained to him the last time, that you would do nothing to him that you didn’t want. He stays quiet now, not wanting to distract. Instead, he wants to trust you.

Sakyo’s quiet, he always is. But this is a pensieve sort of quiet, even as he drifts from thought to painful thought. He wants this forever, not this act in specific but all of them. Everything, as long as he’s yours.

It’s a beautiful thing to have the lion’s share of your attention. He feels giddy in a quick-lived rush of emotion, bucking his hips in an unprecedented attempt to chase that feeling.

You sputter, but look unoffended. Even as he tries to apologize, you brush off his hands.

“I’m fine,” you say, replacing your mouth with your loose fist for the time it takes to reassure him. “That means it feels good, yes?”

“Yes,” he sighs, “it does.”

“Okay, then it’s fine,” and you begin again with a new vigour.

It doesn’t feel fine, it feels selfish. And Sakyo isn’t certain when his selfishness was something that became unforgivable.

He doesn’t last long after that. Holding your gaze, even with his fedora obscuring your eyes while you take care of him is a big ask. To his credit, he tries very hard to get your attention. To inform you in advance.

But you just smile, you stay where you are. You heard him, of course, you heard his stumbling attempts to tell you he was going to come. Trying to do so without embarrassment was an exercise in his own misery and he slumps back in his chair with a grunt of your name when he finishes.

His hand leaves the armrest for the first time since starting, he touches your shoulder and squeezes affectionately. Sakyo feels that sudden surge of euphoria again as he finishes, and you keep him in your mouth. Like last time, you swallow and his stomach drops.

“Thank you,” he gasps before he has time to stop himself. You make a show out of licking your lips, rising from your knees enough to grab him by his tie.

He’s kissed again, with more force and tenderness than he expects. Your lips taste like salt and his cheeks flush the colour of bricks.

“Any time,” you reply, “let’s get you presentable again. We have a wrap party to attend.”

It takes a while for his legs to feel steady again. It isn’t until his shirt is tucked in and his overcoat again hangs off his shoulders that he feels confident enough to go anywhere with you.

You’re fine. You pop right up and take his hand. It’s a beautiful thing to be the man at your side, not just the one in your bed. Even if it’s just this once.

#sakyo furuichi #furuichi sakyo #sakyo furuichi x reader #sakyo x reader #a3! sakyo #a3!#act action actors #nsft #GOD i hyperfixated on this for a whileeeeee but she's doneski #and i'm proud #also hungry #anniewrites

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peace-coast-island · 3 years

Text

Diary of a Junebug

A spooky midnight feast

What a long night - and I mean that in a good way! First the theatre, now it's the Spooky Moon Festival. We just enjoyed a spooky midnight feast hosted by Jack to kick off the festivities.

A couple days ago we visited Peace Coast Island to see Marlo and Don. Marlo’s an old friend from Rosevine who left home about six years ago to become an actress in New York City. Not too long after moving there, Marlo met Don, a journalist for News Times, and as of last year they became engaged.

Marlo is who some would consider a starving artist. While she has appeared in numerous commercials, soap operas, and stage shows, Marlo hasn't gotten her big break yet. She has always managed to get by with odd jobs in between sporadic gigs but it sometimes seems like she gets the short end of the stick. It's a shame because she really is a talented and versatile actress.

But it looks like Marlo's finally gonna get her big break with Sugar and Spice, a brand new musical comedy drama that just made its debut at Starlight Theatre. The show played for two weeks there and the next stop will be Port Beacon, followed by Etienne Falls, Glassenwick, Cabot Bridge, and Petunia. This isn't the first time Marlo's gone on tour for a brand new show, but in past experiences, the show turns out to be a bomb and the tour closes early. Though based on the reviews for Sugar and Spice so far - as well as my own thoughts on it - we have high hopes!

Tagging along with Marlo for the first leg of the tour is Don. Since Marlo went off on her first tour, Don has been tagging along to write a review for the show, so he gets work done and gets to spend some time with Marlo - a win-win situation for both. However, if the tour goes on for the full twelve weeks - or more if things go really well - that's gonna be the longest time the two have been apart from each other.

Instead of heading back to New York, Don's gonna be staying at the camp for a while. He's gonna write an article about the Spooky Moon Festival, which he plans to finish tomorrow to get that out of the way. Marlo was the one who suggested that he take some extra days off by visiting the camp to get his mind off things. It's so sweet how much they're gonna miss each other while Marlo's away.

I've met Don a handful of times since he and Marlo started dating. They're a sweet couple, like a comedic duo with Marlo being the funny one while Don's the straight one - they play off each other super well. Anyone who can keep up with Marlo's antics while having a great sense of humor is a winner. I can't wait for the day when they finally get married!

Considering how long they've been together, it was hard to believe that they almost broke up last year. Don spoke about the near breakup when he and Marlo appeared as guests on Garden Chats, a podcast about mental health, a couple months back. It's a really good episode that not only brings up interesting points about the stigma behind depression but also the strong bond Marlo and Don share. Don said that he was hesitant to do the podcast at first but in the end he was glad he did it.

How the two got together is a cute and funny story. Marlo had her first acting gig for an ad for a security system where she played a damsel in distress during a break in. Don was nearby and thought Marlo was in danger so he swooped in to save the day, only to be humiliated after getting yelled at by her and the crew. The poor guy was so caught up in helping someone in need that he failed to notice the cameras and other equipment that were clearly visible. After getting over the embarrassment, Marlo decided to take him out to dinner as she found him kinda cute and didn’t want to be responsible for him crawling under a rock and never ever seeing the light of day again.

For the next four years Marlo and Don hardly left each other’s side. Marlo’s dad often complains that every time he comes over to visit his daughter, her boyfriend’s always there - though over the years he’s warmed up to him. Likewise whenever Marlo comes home, Don usually tags along with her. I think it was Luciana or maybe Emmaline who said that sometimes they forget that Don’s not from Rosevine nor has he ever lived there.

In a way it’s kinda like an opposites attract sort of relationship. Don’s more serious and levelheaded while Marlo is more lighthearted and playful. She’s confident and ambitious, always jumping from one thing to another. He’s more of a go with the flow type, the one who picks and chooses his battles with consideration. He may come across as a no nonsense kind of guy sometimes, but he’s also a sensitive one. She may have a tendency to ramble on and attract trouble, but you have to admit her heart’s in the right place. Marlo gets in over her head while Don gets taken in for the ride. They compliment and contrast each other - sometimes even picking up each other’s traits over the years.

So imagine what was going through everyone’s heads when rumors started going around about the engagement being broken. Since there was never really a confirmation or a denial, no one really knew what was going on. At least for me and my circle of friends, while we were concerned, we knew it wasn’t our place to get involved in any way. Now that we know what really happened thanks to the podcast, I’m glad that the whole thing never really made the gossip mill.

The podcast that Don and Marlo did was hosted by Lessa, probably making it the first time I’ve ever listened to a podcast where I know the host and the guests on a personal level. Don spoke about how he was recently diagnosed with clinical depression and how he had suspected that something was wrong with him for a long time before that. Pressure from work and his engagement along with a bunch of other personal issues led to him getting cold feet and abruptly breaking things off with Marlo. With everything going on he suddenly found himself unable to cope so he ended up almost sabotaging the best thing to ever happen to him. Looking back, he felt that it was his way of punishing himself for not being happy enough despite having everything he could have ever wanted (and more) from someone he loved.

Marlo also spoke about the near breakup and how she began doubting herself when Don started pushing her away. When he told her that he couldn’t marry her, she couldn’t believe it. So she fought back, demanding an explanation and blaming herself. But because she loved him, Marlo knew that she couldn’t just stand there and watch Don slip into a downward spiral.

The “breakup” lasted for about a month, which was the longest Marlo and Don went without talking to each other. By then their friends had noticed a change in Don’s behavior as he was isolating himself from everyone and acting erratically. Marlo felt helpless but persisted and once Don realized that he wasn't all right, he turned to Marlo and her family for help. Since then their relationship has grown stronger.

It was interesting to hear them be so open and vulnerable about their struggles. If the whole conversation isn't proof of how much they care about each other, I don't know what is. I'm glad that Don's getting the help he needs and that Marlo's luck is finally changing.

As for the wedding, there's no set date yet but it's definitely happening. Though at this point they're pretty much like an old married couple, which is super cute. With everything going on in their personal and professional lives, they want to wait until things settle down before tying the knot. Daisy Jane, Andrea, Almie, and I are betting that the wedding's happening sooner rather than later - as in this year. Based on these past few days, it looks like we're not too far off the mark!

Marlo was absolutely fantastic in Sugar and Spice! From the catchy songs to the witty dialogue and relatable characters, it's no wonder that the play has been getting glowing reviews! Marlo stole the show, easily one of the highlights of the play. Unlike previous shows Marlo toured for, she's not stuck being the saving grace of a poorly executed script, something that she has been the victim of far too many times.

The show's about a group of friends who work at a bakery called Sugar and Spice. Marlo is Gingie, a newcomer who had just left home and rediscovers her love for baking through the bakery. There's a funny running gag of Gingie coming up with the most ridiculous cookie recipes that turn out good and leaving the kitchen in such a state of disaster in the process. It's a cute and funny show about a bunch of friends who like to bake.

In between shows, Marlo joined us at the camp. Most of the nights were sold out or didn't have enough seats for the camp, which was why we were unable to attend the first week. Once things got settled down with rehearsals and such, Marlo and Don were able to have some time for themselves at the camp. The two enjoyed picnics on various hangout spots, sightseeing near the mountains, and chilling at the beach.

We also helped Jack set up for the Spooky Moon Festival. Marlo was bummed that she's gonna miss it so Don promised to take a lot of pics for her. It's been great catching up with them and seeing them have fun together. They plan to return in the near future so that's something to look forward to!

The Spooky Moon Festival comes once every few years to celebrate the Spooky Moon. While helping out with the festival, I've learned a lot about the event. Basically there's a spooky looking moon that looks like it's covered in cobwebs that comes into view every four years. It looks super cool, like something out of a vintage spooky picture you see in old books. Everything about the festival gives off Halloween vibes and I'm really digging the aesthetic!

After seeing Marlo off, we got to prepping for the midnight feast. Don's been a great deal of help and it's nice getting to know him on a one on one basis. I think this is the first time I've hung out with him without Marlo. He's been enjoying the camp, which is great as Marlo didn't want him to worry about her too much. Like I said, it's sweet how much they watch out for each other.

At midnight, the festivities began! Making the food was a lot of fun, especially making everything look spooky and cool for the occasion. Decorating cookies was my favorite part as well as cutting out dough into fun shapes for the pies. It took a lot of prep time but the effort was so worth it - everything came out great!

Along with the food, we enjoyed listening to spooky stories, playing fun games, and looking at the moon through the astronomer's telescope. The Spooky Moon's a lovely view to see, made even better with good company to share it with!

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #Diary of a Junebug #headcanon ramble

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vln-vibes · 4 years

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The Raven and the Robin

Yeah so I’d like to blame certain parties such as @ladyanput @virgil-is-a-cutie For getting me back into Ever After High Hell.

Summary: Raven King was tired of everyone comparing her to her mother instead of seeing her for herself, its why she opted for castle schooling instead. Unfortunately it was the year of Legacy Day so she couldn’t make anymore excuses. Besides Evil Queen wasn’t her role; her family knew she was going to be the Good King but well... the Evil Queen wasn’t available. They didn’t know what happened to the King-Queens and preferably no one outside of their circle of trust would find out.

It was the year of Legacy Day…. Then again Legacy Day was done almost 15-20 years after one, depending on how long those fairy tales had taken to have children.

You know Raven didn’t need to think of the logistics of this already stupid thing.

She never liked the fact that everyone expected her to be just like her mother, the Evil Queen of the previous generation who’d gone rouge and nearly destroyed Wonderland, Mara Queen. People tended to forget that she disowned her mother; after everything she did to her, to the kingdom, to Wonderland, to everyone… to her family. Raven didn’t like thinking of the Evil Queen, having long since distanced herself from the stern but loving Mara Queen, as her mother, ever since Prince had been turned into a rat and Robin had….

“Would you two stop fighting?! Peas and crackers!” Maddie’s outburst had interrupted Raven’s spiral, her Wonderlandian friend just as mad as she usually was. Well her father was The Mad Hatter.

“Um, who are you talking to?”

“Why, the narrators! Oh, you can't hear them, Raven, only I can.” Of course there were narrators, Raven gave a small fond smile at her friend before sighing.

“It's just... Ah! I'm sick of everyone thinking I'm so "evil," because my mom was. It's not fair! They don’t even know the real me! They don’t even remember the fact that I was raised by the Good King” the next thing she knew her outburst of emotion caused all their things to levitate before quickly dropping. “Ah curses, not again”

“No one thinks you're evil. Hehe, now you're just talking crazy! La-la-la!”

“Daughter of the Mad Hatter calls ME crazy?”

“Would you stop with the worry-flurry? Besides, your new do is completely you! No one will tell which Tale you belong to” Raven had been worrying about the whole thing ever since she knew she’d have to enroll at Ever After High though her father had been able to pull some strings and get her excused during her first year, unfortunately Legacy Day prevented her from doing so again. As the duo walked up the stairs, Raven noticed the stares but they quickly brushed over her and focused on Maddie’s Wonderland madness.

Raven was relieved, she never met many other fairy tale characters outside of those who resided in her kingdom or family friends such as Cerise Hood, Ramona Badwolf or Hunter Huntsman. Raven hadn’t expected a visit from Madeline “Maddie” Hatter out of the blue, the girl just stating that the place was in need of a good tea party. She hadn’t left her side ever since.

Raven had long wavy ebony black hair with royal blue highlights in an upsweep, a silver circlet with a ruby in the middle framing her hair. She wore a black corset top with a sweetheart neckline, a white pencil skirt with a carmine red tail that reached her knees to it and a black leather jacket with carmine accents tying her outfit together

She didn’t fit the look people had for the daughter of the Evil Queen.

“See? They don’t even realize who you are!” Maddie cheered before a chime familiar to them both rang. “Yay, tea time! Earl Grey,” the little mouse squealed from atop of her cup hat and brought out the teapot “oh, you clever dormouse! Why, yes, this is a new dress.”

Raven just let herself get carried by the madness and took a seat next to her best friend forever after.

The first half of the first day of school had been… interesting. Her classes were pretty broad but Raven didn’t know what to think of them; Science and Sorcery, Castle Design, Grimmnastics and Muse-ic Class had been fun so far but it was tiring always being on alert to make sure no one learned of her last name.

Lunch was honestly a take of fresh air as she’d be able to hang out with her friends, Maddie, Cerise and Hunter.

Then an unexpected visitor came.

“Hey, uh Raven! Right?” Raven took a good look at the guy in front of her light skin, brown hair with a cowlick and deep rich blue eyes; though it was a shame that his glasses blocked out most of their beauty.

“Y-Yeah. You’re in my Science and Sorcery Class, right?” Raven wanted the Earth to swallow her as she found herself alone with a cute boy as she waited for her friends to finally come to the table.

”Uh-You look gort... I mean great. I-I don't even know what gort is…”

“Well, I'd offer you a seat, but we don’t exactly know each other. To sit here you'd have to be pretty—”

Suddenly screams and squeals could be heard from the castleteria entrance, mostly from the girls, and flashing lights from the center of the group.

“Daring”

“What? No, Raven, I'm Dex, Dexter Charming! Daring's my bro…” while the two had gone back to their conversation neither realized the epicenter of the screams had come to their direction until Dexter felt a familiar heavy pat to the back “ther. Oh, gort.”

“Why, Once upon a hi! I’ve never seen you around here, are you a new student?” Raven had to resist the urge of rolling her eyes, not wanting to make a bad impression, as she could only guess who was behind her.

“Yep. You’re Apple White, daughter of Snow White, and Daring Charming, son of King Charming” Raven stated though Apple and Daring seemed to flourish at the recognition.

“I-uh I have to warn you: don't stare at the teeth. Just got them whitened” oh, so that's where the lights came from.

“You are royally correct! Who might you be?” Apple preened as Raven covered her eyes from Daring’s smile.

“I’m… Raven” the expecting looks from the trio annoyed Raven but she might as well get them over with “Raven King”

“Oh my good fairy! You must be another Royal” Apple cheered until they heard coughing from behind, Raven sighing in relief as she saw her friends.

“Sorry but you’re kinda in our way” Hunter shrugged, waiting for Apple and Daring to move before Cerise rolled her eyes and pushed past them to take her seat.

“Well then I think it's time for us to go to lunch boys! Spell you later, Raven” Apple practically commanded the two Charming boys to accompany her to the Royal table, though Dexter shot Raven a shy wave.

“Well I guess that was a nice first time meeting my niece” Raven joked as they finally began eating their food.

“She sure is something alright” Cerise rolled her eyes before beginning on her large steak.

“For what is she without her people and crown? To which do not approve of Wonderland do” Maddie added along, taking out another cup from her hat.

“She used to be a lot more chill at the beginning of last year” the hooded girl explained, cleaning up from her meaty meal with a dainty napkin “But she started getting fidgety when there was no EQ in the student body. That’s when she really started firing up the whole Royals v Rebels and following your destiny thing”

“Right. So what are Royals?”

“I thought we went over this,” Hunter whispered before explaining “It's everyone who wants to sign their Destiny on the Storybook of Legends and follow their stories. We’re Rebels, the ones who’d rather find their own way in life, though we’re probably going to sign too”

Raven woke up the next day to Maddie’s breakfast tea time alarm chiming; she really wasn’t looking forward to rehearsal today. She didn’t know her well but Apple White was certainly overbearing; Kingdom Management was practically overtaken by Apple hogging the spotlight and not letting anyone else speak. The only good thing out of it was that she was able to talk to the Charming twins; Dexter and Darling.

“So, when your magical key appears, you insert it gently into the Storybook of Legends, then stand, shoulders back, and declare your destiny to the world! Have I made myself clear?” Headmaster Grimm, descendant of the original Grimm Brothers, spoke to the student body.

“Headmaster Grimm, but what if…” Raven knew she couldn’t, wouldn’t, sign the book unless Robin was around, her decision would alter his and she couldn’t just𑁋

“No questions? Good. Now, we're going to practice with this tiny Manual of Entirely Reasonable School Rules. Who will go first?”

Raven waited nervously as each one of the students scheduled for Legacy Day passed up to the podium; Briar Beauty, Rosabella Beauty, Jillian Beanstalk, Daring, Dexter and Darling Charming, Kitty Cheshire, Hopper Croackington II, Humphrey Dumpty, Ashlynn Ella, Farrah Goodfairy, Maddie, Lizzie Hearts, Cerise, Sparrow Hood, Hunter 𑁋

“Raven… King”

Raven could feel the stare of Headmaster Grimm as she walked up to the podium.

“I'm Raven King and I pledge to follow my destiny as... um... I have a question!”

“What is it?” Raven could tell that she was getting on the Headmaster’s nerves and knew that her next question would definitely cause a ruckus but…

“I was just wondering, I mean, what if I don't want to take the pledge?”

Raven definitely had to have seen all the gasps and screams of horror coming. Grimm stomping up to her and facing her head on though was probably the more uncomfortable part.

“Here's your answer. If you don't pledge your destiny, your story ceases to exist.”

“Ceases to exist? So then... What happens to me?”

“You will cease to exist! Poof! Now, Raven, continue.” Raven could tell that the conversation was over, it reminded her of how she’d talk. She also knew that her next words would cause even more of an issue.

“I… I am Raven King, daughter of the Good King and I𑁋”

“You’re daughter of the Good King! That means- That means you’re my Evil Queen!” Apple squealed in delight, running up the steps and giving Raven the biggest hug she could. More gasps could be heard, even someone fainting, as Apple just began to ramble more and more on how hexallent it was that Raven finally revealed herself, how they’d be roomates to get to know each other and how she couldn’t wait to be poisoned and get her happily ever after just like their mothers.

“Do not compare me to that woman” Raven shook Apple off of her, she could feel her cerulean eyes glow and her hair float.

“I gotta go”

“But the rules are... The rules!”

“Destiny!”

Raven ignored all the yells and just made her way into the Enchanted Forest. She finally settled onto a log, watching on a tree as two black birds circled around their nest before one of them began to chirp at a bush underneath.

It was an injured bird. No. It was a dead bird.

Raven couldn’t help but cry.

“The Raven flies. The clouds, they sing! The Robin sleeps, with a broken wing. The Apple falls not far from the tree. But what should happen when the tide rolls in?”

AO3 Ko-Fi

#Ever After High #EAH #EAH Fanfic #Fanfiction #EAH Salt #Raven Queen #The Raven and the Robin #Eve-Valution #Raven King AU #eah au #Apple White Salt #Apple White #Raven centric

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freddiesaysalright · 4 years

Text

Soft in Love Part 8

A Gwilym Lee x Student!Reader Fic

Summary: Y/N is an acting student in her last semester of college. When a professor unexpectedly can’t make it for the senior capstone class, a very famous (and handsome) substitute is called in. When they connect, they face a few challenges.

Word Count: 2.7k

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @benders-diamond-earring, @im-an-adult-ish, @anincurablefangirl, @kiainspace, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @god-save-the-deaks, @assembledherethevolunteers, @misslolasworld, @not-john-watsons-blog, @spacedustmazzello, @theindiealto, @riddikuluslypotter, @depressedbitchxox, @tenement-funstah, @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls, @sarablog10, @johndeaconshands, @coincidence-ithinknots-blog, @simonedk, @queenlover05, @goodoldfashionedloverboyy, @the-claire-bitch-project, @kerouacsroad, @rose-writes-prose If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: Y’all the drama is about to get so real!!!

Warning(s): Use of the word c*nt.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Part 8 here we go!!!

As it turned out, with Gwilym, making love properly meant incredibly slow, incredibly sweet, and just overall incredible. No one had cared more about you in such an intimate moment, and it made you fall for him all the more. As you lay in the afterglow with him, you looked up at his face.

“What are you thinking about?” you wondered.

He grinned at you. “I’m thinking about how lovely you are.”

You beamed and pressed your lips to his chest. His skin was still warm. You could hear his accelerated heartbeat.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“I’m thinking about how much I want you,” you answered.

“You’re insatiable,” he teased.

“Just for you,” you returned.

Chuckling he rolled on top of you and kissed you some more.

Weeks passed in this bliss. Giving Andrew space was the perfect excuse to not hang out at him and Sloan’s apartment. Although, you were pretty sure Sloan kept inviting you in order to get you to be friends again. However, more often than not, you were at Gwilym’s. You also frequently stopped by his office during office hours. Sometimes you had sex, but you usually didn’t while at school. Gwilym was too nervous about getting caught. You understood, but the thrill of it made it so sexy to you.

Of course, you still had your moments before class where you talked, and occasionally snuck a kiss in every once in a while. It made you so happy, you could barely contain your giggles.

Weekends, you also spent with Gwilym at his place. This worked out too because Sloan and Andrew worked on weekends. No one suspected a thing. Everything was falling into place while you were falling for Gwilym. And you were falling hard. You wanted to tell him you were pretty much in love with him, but the right moment never seemed to come around. And you wanted to be sure of your feelings before all of that came out.

On top of all that, rehearsal was going amazingly well. The art department had created beautiful sets, and the costumes were wonderful. You could hardly miss a note, it seemed. You told Gwilym in a private moment that it was his fault.

“My fault?” he’d chuckled.

“Yes, your fault,” you repeated. “You’ve made me entirely too happy.”

“Well,” he said with a smile. “For that, I will gladly accept blame.”

He had leaned in and kissed you so tenderly, your heart fluttered. Everything was perfect. Just perfect.

Daniel trudged after Edith as she walked down the hall to Gwilym’s office. He hated to be doing this but she had told him she’d set him up with another friend of hers - an easy friend - and he figured it was worth it.

“I still don’t see how you’re gonna convince him to let you play Esther for a night,” he said. “He and Y/N are super close, he’d never take it away from her.”

“I’ll convince him by using my womanly wiles,” she said, batting her lashes dramatically.

“Oh, yeah, because that’s worked so well for you before,” he retorted.

She glowered at him and his sarcasm and he only shrugged.

“Look, I’ll pretend I’m all for it while I’m in there, but I don’t think he’s gonna bite,” he said. “But, I’m an actor, I’ll make the case with you as convincing as possible.”

They reached the door and Edith came to a sudden halt as she reached for the knob.

“What are you waiting for?” Daniel asked.

“Shhh!” she returned. “Listen.”

He leaned closer. Through the door, he heard a steady rhythm of skin on skin. Some soft grunting. Then, a quiet whine.

“Gwil…”

Daniel cringed. He knew it was you.

“Y/N, quiet, darling,” Gwilym hissed.

“We shouldn’t be listening to this!” Daniel hissed to Edith.

“I just found my ammo,” she returned, ignoring him.

She turned on her heel and started down the hall. He jogged after her.

“Where are you going?” he demanded.

“To the Dean’s office,” she said.

“You’re going to tell?!” he gasped. “Why?! Y/N could get suspended! Or worse!”

“Exactly,” she said with a smirk. “With Y/N out of the picture, I’ve got a shot at the starring role.”

“Edith, are you serious?!” he cried. “Gwilym will be fired! You could ruin both of them!”

“Since when are you Mr. Morality?” she challenged. “Don’t tell me you’re still carrying a flame for her.”

“Look, she and I aren’t like that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about her,” he explained. “I wouldn’t wish what you’re about to do on anyone.”

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

His mind searched wildly for an answer to give her. She stood to gain a lot by removing you, but maybe he could use Gwilym as a way to soften her.

“Tell Gwilym what you heard,” he said. “Use it as a bargaining chip to get to play Esther for one or two shows or something. You can even say he has to end it with her and go out with you instead. But if you go to the Dean right now, all opportunities go out the window.”

“You’re right, Dan,” she said, looking away thoughtfully. “With this information, I can have them both at my mercy.”

“Yeah,” he said, nervous. “Think about it, okay? Don’t act rashly.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but then the door to Gwilym’s office opened. Daniel and Edith jumped into the side corridor and peeked around, watching you. You kissed Gwilym with a massive smile on your face, and he had one to match. They heard you say your goodbyes and then head down the hall, away from your peeping classmates.

Edith watched you disappear and then got a wicked gleam in her eye.

“I’m gonna go talk to him,” she said.

“Right now?!” Daniel wondered.

“Sure,” she said. “This is my opportunity, and I’m going to take it. Before you can tell Y/N and spoil everything.”

She threw her hair over her shoulder and then marched down the hall.

“I’m not coming with you,” he said. “I can’t support this.”

“With this information, I don’t need your support,” she shot back.

She knocked on the door and Daniel sighed. He watched her disappear into the office and then took off down the hall, desperate to find you and warn you. Edith was right, he was going to try and ruin this for her.

Gwilym was startled to see Edith, but allowed her into his office. She took a seat on a chair across from him and met his eyes, mischief on her face.

“So, what can I help you with, Edith?” he asked politely.

“I want to play Esther for three nights,” she said.

He blinked. “Why would I take that from Y/N? She earned the part.”

“Doesn’t matter,” she returned. “You can’t refuse.”

“I am refusing,” he said. “I could never do that to her.”

“Oh, but you’ll fuck her?”

Gwilym froze. Edith smiled at him in such a villainous way it sent a chill down his spine.

“What are you talking about?” he said finally.

“Don’t play dumb,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I heard you.”

“You’re wrong,” he insisted.

“I’m not,” she returned. She closed her eyes and raised her voice a few octaves as she threw her head back and mimicked you, “Oh, Gwil…” She cleared her throat and donned a British accent “Y/N, quiet, darling!”

The blood drained from his face. How long had she been out there? He didn’t see her when you left. Had she hidden herself away? Just so she could come in and rob you of shows that were yours?

“Give me three nights, or I take this to the Dean’s office,” she said. “Then both of you will be out of my way.”

“Why not just do it then?” he challenged. “Get rid of us?”

“Come on, Gwilym, I’m not so evil,” she sighed. “I’m willing to play ball and at least let her graduate.”

He sighed, resting his elbows on his desk and putting his face in his hands. He thought you both had been so careful. This was his worst nightmare. And now, it meant you lost three of the shows. Either way, you were being punished because he was too weak to refuse you. Gwilym had never hated himself more than in this moment. He rubbed his eyes and looked at Edith.

“What nights do you want?” he asked.

“I knew you’d see it my way,” she returned. “I want night three, night five, and closing night.”

“You can’t have closing night,” he said flatly.

He had a few surprises for you that night. You had to be the star.

Edith glowered at him. “Why not?”

“I can’t tell you,” he said. “You just can’t have it.”

“I don’t think you can really dictate the terms of -”

He cut her off. “I’ll give you opening night.”

Inside, he was cursing himself. He imagined the look on your face when he broke the news to you. It would crush you. You would be hurt and confused, and how could he explain this? He couldn’t let you feel the guilt.

“Opening night?” she repeated. “Are you serious?”

Opening night was usually the biggest turnout. It was going to be a massive blow to you.

“I’m serious,” he said. “Opening night, night three, and night five. Those are your terms?”

“They are,” she agreed. “Let me have those, and I won’t say anything to the Dean and Y/N graduates with no black marks on her record. Deal?”

She extended her hand. Gwil hesitated. Could he really do this to you? Wasn’t it better than suspension? Expulsion? Loss of your scholarship?

He shook her hand.

“Pleasure doing business,” she said as she released him. “See you in class tomorrow.”

He just scowled at her as she left, wiggling her fingers as she closed the door. He heard her laugh before walking away down the hall. Gwilym had one more question: could he tell you about Edith’s blackmail? Or should he carry this guilt alone?

He decided on alone.

The next day in class, Gwilym didn’t meet you there early. You checked your phone, but he hadn’t texted or anything, so you guessed he was busy with something and didn’t have time. You scrolled through Instagram as you waited for class to begin. You other classmates filed in before Gwilym, who came in looking rushed. You saw him exchange an odd look with Edith and you frowned. What was that about?

“Morning, everyone,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Gwilym, you’re right on time with everyone else,” Sloan pointed out.

Gwilym met your eyes fleetingly. You knew he meant he was sorry he didn’t come early and spend that time with you.

“Right, sorry,” he said. “Anyway, let me just take roll.”

He began taking attendance and Sloan leaned over to you.

“Is it just me or is he fucked up about something?” she whispered.

“No idea,” you breathed back. “Definitely seems weird, though.”

When he finished with roll, he looked at the class.

“You can all begin wherever you like, but first I need to speak with Edith and Y/N,” he said. “Ladies, if you’ll follow me backstage.”

You and Sloan looked at each other, confused.

“This doesn’t sit right with me,” Andrew said. “Be careful, Y/N.”

“Thanks, Andrew,” you replied.

You got up and followed Gwilym and Edith backstage into one of the dressing rooms. Your mind raced with all the questions you had. Gwilym closed the door and then faced you both.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, but Edith is going to be playing Esther for three nights of the show,” he said.

It would have shocked you less if he’d punched you in the nose.

“What?!” you cried. “Are you joking?”

His downturned mouth told you he wasn’t.

“Why?!” you demanded.

Edith opened her mouth, but Gwilym held up a hand to stop her.

“It’s just...circumstances,” he said. “She’s got opening night, night three, and night five.”

You actually stumbled backwards. Your chest felt heavy with this....this betrayal.

“Opening night?!” you went on. “You’re giving her opening night?! How could you? I’ve rehearsed, I auditioned for this part, and you’re just giving it away at some request? What’s going on?!”

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I don’t have a choice.”

“What are you talking about?” you pressed. “You always have a choice. You’re choosing her!”

“I’m not, Y/N, believe me!” he said desperately. “Please trust me! This is for the best.”

Tears welled up in your eyes. How could he do this? Three nights? And opening night as one of them!

“Gwilym, please,” you choked out. “Don’t do this to me.”

He sighed so heavily, you almost felt sorry for him.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You could see in his face how much he longed to take you in his arms and comfort you. Not that you would have accepted it. You were so angry at him, you could have spit nails. But mostly, you were hurt.

“Can you give me a minute, please?” you said, barely audible.

“Look on the bright side, Y/N,” Edith began.

“Save it, bitch,” you snapped.

She sneered at you and left. Gwilym lingered. Something was on the tip of his tongue, and you willed him to say it. To give some explanation for this. But he didn’t. He sighed again and left you.

You cried for a few moments. It wasn’t so much losing those nights, though that was devastating. Opening night was important. A lot of casting directors came that night to check out upcoming talent. What hurt more was Gwilym allowing this. What on Earth could she have said to him to convince him to do it? He clearly didn’t want to.

A soft knock interrupted your thoughts.

“Go away!” you called.

Whoever it was opened the door anyway. You thought it was probably Sloan and Andrew, but you didn't want to talk to them. They didn’t know about you and Gwilym, and therefore could not understand why this was such a blow to you. To your surprise, it was Daniel.

“Hey,” he said.

“I said go away,” you returned with a sniffle.

“I’m not a good listener,” he said with a shrug. “Look, I came in here because I know what happened.”

“Everybody probably does by now,” you pointed out. “Edith’s surely gloating.”

“Don’t be too hard on Gwilym, okay?” he said. “He’s just looking out for you.”

“Looking out for me? By giving away my part?”

“He’s only doing it because Edith’s blackmailing him,” he said. “She heard you two in his office yesterday.”

Shock went through you. You stared at Daniel, wide-eyed and horrified.

“She didn’t hear -”

He cut you off. “I heard it too, Y/N. There was no mistaking it. You said each other’s names and everything.”

“Shit…” you breathed.

He explained everything. What they heard, Edith’s plans, and that he’d tried to find you and warn you, but couldn’t. You took it all in, feeling very sorry for Gwilym now. This was what he had feared all along.

“Why would she do this?” you wondered. “Even for Edith, it seems so mean.”

“Because she’s a terrible person who enjoys being a cunt for no reason,” he said.

You laughed a little and a beat passed.

“My advice?” said Daniel. “Break it off with Gwil. Get rid of what she holds over you.”

“I can’t do that,” you said stubbornly. “I won’t.”

“Come on, Y/N,” he said with a groan. “Surely you’re not so horny that -”

“We’re not just messing around!” you interrupted. “I love him!”

As soon as the words left you, you clapped your hand over your mouth. Your heart raced with regret. The first person to hear that should have been Gwilym. Daniel’s jaw went a little slack as he stared at you.

“Well, shit, Chip,” he sighed. “That’s different. Does he know?”

You shook your head.

“Look, the choice is yours,” he said. “Break it off, or just let Edith have her way.”

He left. You remained in the dressing room wondering where to go from here. Gwilym was always wanting to protect you. If Daniel was right, would this be your chance to protect Gwilym? Were you strong enough to let him go? Were those really your only options?

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fy-enhypen · 3 years

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“I want to sing and dance for many people” - Jake

JAKE set the following goals for his 20s: to show a more mature version of himself to everyone watching him and to become someone the younger members can turn to when in need of help. You have finally debuted.

JAKE: Our debut seems like yesterday, but time flew by because we had a jam-packed schedule from day one. All I think about these days is working hard.

How was the preparation for your debut?

JAKE: I had to work harder than the others because I’ve only been a trainee for nine months. I didn’t want to lag behind. Once we debut, our dance performances have to be perfectly synchronized, and there are fancams too, so everyone can tell whether we’re good or not. I thought a lot about my dancing and singing because I wanted to show everyone that I made progress during the two months of preparation for our debut.

You ranked first in the producers’ evaluation for the first time with “Flicker” on I-LAND. It must have felt special performing it again on the DEBUT SHOW. What did you want to emphasize during your solo shot on stage?

JAKE: HEESEUNG performed the first part of “Flicker” really well on I-LAND. So I asked him for advice and thought a lot about the gestures, expressions, and choreography to find my own style. Whenever I raised my eyebrows or slightly lifted my head, I made sure to put on more relaxed expressions and vibes. I think the relaxed expressions and gestures are what make a performance stand out, so I try to make my gestures look as relaxed as possible.

How do you practice those gestures?

JAKE: In fact, the gestures I do on stage are often different from when I practice them in front of the mirror. The gestures come out naturally under the stage lighting, with the vibe, and in my costumes. I never even thought about flapping the jacket lapel when I was practicing because I didn’t have the jacket on during practice, but it came out naturally on stage.

Then was your impression of a puppy at the end of the performance of “10 Months” also improvised?

JAKE: I love puppies, and I take it as a compliment when people tell me I look like a puppy. “10 Months” is about a 10-month-old puppy, so I thought the impression would go well with the song. (laughs) I did it on the spot, but I thought a little bit about how I should do it before I went on stage.

JAKE: Watching performance videos help me the most since I haven’t had much stage experience yet. There have been so many idol group performances with diverse concepts. Because I watch so many of them, I’ve become more mindful of the concepts when thinking about performances, and I try to copy the expressions of the idols that staged those performances. I watch the videos of YEONJUN from TOMORROW X TOGETHER to pick up the playful expressions. I want to look like I’m enjoying the performance, but also cute at the same time.

You must have tried to look natural and cool when you were filming the “Given-Taken” music video, too.

JAKE: It was changed on the set of the music video during filming, but made my hands relaxed while filming. I like the relaxed look. V from BTS gives me a lot of inspiration because he is so good at that and because he looks awesome. I want to be like him. That’s my goal. (laughs)

In your first close-up scene from the “Given-Taken” music video, you stand face-to-face with JAY. You two look great in the music video, but it might have been awkward since you are so close.

JAKE: It was very awkward. I couldn’t hold in my laughter to the point where I wanted to apologize to the director, so I actually looked a little bit to the side instead. I couldn’t help but laugh when I looked at his face. (laughs) We filmed without making eye contact or looking at each other’s faces. You know how we appear on the music video one by one? We also filmed many scenes where we face sideways, but I think they were taken out because we laughed so much.

You are not a big fan of scary things, but the “Given-Taken” music video was filmed in the forest late at night.

JAKE: I’m not that afraid of ghosts. I’m more afraid of people than ghosts, and I think I’m more scared of horror movies about people than ghosts.

You seemed terrified of bugs, though. (laughs)

JAKE: Wow. I have so many bad memories of bugs. I’ve had enough of giant bugs when I lived in Australia. (laughs)

It looked like there were a lot of bugs when you were filming the music video. It must have been difficult to focus.

JAKE: I really hate bugs, but I put up with it because we had to film. I thought I shouldn’t look scared because the director and many other staff members were waiting.

What did you think the music video was about when you were shooting it?

JAKE: It’s not easy to analyze “Given-Taken,” and I think it has a deep meaning. I think the song describes the determination or fear we have as we enter the new world after I-LAND, so I tried to be mindful of that when filming the music video. I didn’t want my gestures to suggest that the song can only be interpreted in one way. I wanted to leave room for interpretation for the fans. It wasn’t easy because it was my first time filming a music video, but I did my best.

The parts you sing in “Given-Taken” have many high notes. How did you practice singing?

JAKE: From the day after our debut was decided, I’ve been recording every single day, and I think that helped a lot. I was able to hear my voice from an objective point of view, and I thought I needed to change the way I vocalize. Even when I speak, I tend to be breathy, so my voice sounds a bit weak when I’m singing. I asked the producer how I could resonate, project, and sound more solid, and I learned a lot. I also tried to look for solutions on my own.

Your narration signaled the beginning of the team ENHYPEN. What did you want to express through the narration?

JAKE: I believe narrations should be able to draw people in. They should tie the whole album together. The title song “Given-Taken” is dark, and I thought it adequately described the fear and complicated feelings that arise when heading toward a new world so that’s the feel I tried to express.

It must have been difficult since it was your first time recording a narration.

JAKE: The producers and I worked really hard, and the members would tell me that I went into the studio with lots of energy and then came out looking exhausted. (laughs) It was my first time narrating, and there were many parts that were just my voice without any background music. There were so many things I had to be mindful of, like how to bring out the right emotion. So I would set a heavy tone in the studio with no lights on, and brought up a lot of different thoughts. You usually stand when you’re recording, but I sat down sometimes because it took so long. But I think my narration in the first trailer turned out pretty well because I did it after I got some practice from recording the Intro and Outro.

Your Australian accent from the narration received a lot of attention. What was it like living in Australia?

JAKE: Life in Australia was the definition of a chill life. I would get off school at three, and I didn’t have many things to do. The pace of life in Australia is slower, and you have a lot of time to think. So I found the Korean culture very different, with everything being done so quickly. I liked being busy and having a routine while living as a trainee for nine months in Korea, but these days, I sometimes miss the relaxed atmosphere of Australia. (laughs)

I heard you became a trainee after passing the global audition with the odds of 500:1.

JAKE: I found that out when I watched the show. Until the morning of the audition , I still debated whether to go or not. But my dad suggested we give it a shot, so I went without thinking too much about it and I sang Justin Bieber’s “Love Yourself.”

Were there any challenges to adapting to life as a trainee?

JAKE: Honestly speaking, I never knew it would be that hard. (laughs) It was okay on the days when I had lessons, but when I didn’t, I didn’t know what I should be doing all day long. But I prepared for the monthly performance tests, got lessons, and became more interested in dancing and singing. I think that’s when I started making a lot of progress.

You also got a lot of attention on I-LAND for consistently making progress.

JAKE: I spend a lot of time thinking about the feedback I receive, and I think I was able to make progress because I focused on fixing my problems. I try to think that if I keep thinking about ways to improve my performance, I’ll be able to perform better next time. And whenever I’m rehearsing or performing on stage, I don’t worry too much about it, and I try not to. I’m going to be on many different stages from now. I try to enjoy myself because I think I make fewer mistakes throughout the performance when I’m truly having fun. When I moved to Korea from Australia, I had to transfer to a Korean school, and that along with becoming a trainee was completely new to me, so it wasn’t easy at first. But once I got used to my life as a trainee, it was fine.

Moving to Korea to become a trainee must have been a big decision.

JAKE: I made the bold choice to leave behind a lot of things in Australia to come here. My parents and I were very concerned because the path of a trainee is rife with uncertainties that can disappear all of a sudden. But when I get hooked on something, I have to see it through to the end. I think about it all day and become obsessive. (laughs) Ever since I started dreaming of becoming an idol, my goal was to debut no matter what. So even when people told me that being a trainee will be difficult, I thought of it as a step toward my dream.

ENHYPEN must hold a special meaning for you.

JAKE: Enhypen will be a part of me for the rest of my life, and I really think of the members as family. You know, BTS is famous for their strong teamwork and a tight-knit relationship, and it shows in their videos. We want to follow their example.

You said that you get along with SUNGHOON very well because you’re the same MBTI type and have a lot in common.

JAKE: We depend on each other a lot. We have so much in common, and he has even more things on his mind. When we were choosing our in-ear monitors, he thought it over for three more days (laughs). It’s interesting because he often reminds me of myself before my personality changed. We share the same blood type and MBTI type. So when he is concerned about something, I often tell him what I would have wanted to hear if I had been in his situation.

The members born in 2002 will enter your 20s very soon.

JAKE: This year has been very hectic for me, moving to Korea and becoming a trainee, and the next thing I know, I’m almost an adult. Honestly, I don’t have big expectations and haven’t given much thought about it, but I’m happy that I’m becoming an adult with the members who were born in 2002, like me.

What do you want your 20s to be like?

JAKE: Above all, I’m an artist now, and I feel a sense of anxiety and tension about the fact that many people are watching me. So I’m determined to show a more mature version of myself. I’m 19, which means I’m the second oldest member of the team. Many of the members are younger than me, but they seem to think I’m cute, and honestly speaking, I don’t think I’m acting like an older member either (laughs). So I want to become close to them, and be someone they can turn to when they’re feeling down.

Then as a member of ENHYPEN, what kind of artist do you want to be?

JAKE: I was an ordinary teenager until a year ago, and even now, I don’t think I’m very different from other people. I just think of myself as a performer and a musician. So I want to sing and dance for many people.

There are fans out there who love your performance and music.

JAKE: This is still very new to me, and honestly, I’m so grateful and I don’t think this feeling will ever go away. (laughs) It’s my first time having fans, and I’m absolutely overwhelmed. It was my birthday a while ago, and I’ve never received so many congratulations from so many people. I was really grateful. I was all alone in the practice studio on my last birthday, calling and texting my family, but this year, I was so happy to see not only my family but so many fans rooting for me and sending me love.

It’s a shame you can’t meet them in person right now.

JAKE: Like I said, I dreamed of becoming an idol watching idol group performances, and I dreamed of going on stage at a concert and screaming and shouting with the fans. I don’t know when that’ll be, but when I finally get to perform in front of our fans, I think I’ll be unimaginably happy.

#201225 #enhypen #jake #t: weverse #t: interview

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shewantedtobeasecretgirl · 4 years

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10. Bathroom wall a.k.a. a queen bee, Prince in the shower and a backup Casanova (Part Two)

Finally, that Donna Summer song is over… Although disco is not my favorite genre, I have nothing against her generally but now… the part in which she’s repeating “Hot-hot-hot-hot stuuuuff” reminded me of the sound of the rototiller which would break down in every single winter and my grandpa would always have to try for hours and hours to breathe life into it in spring. And the music was also way too loud in comparison to the fact the clientele of this place consists mostly of exhausted truck drivers who only want to chill to Chris Rhea’s Road to Hell. If they wanted noise, they would go to a strip club to see Miss North Carolina ’86 dropping her clothes to something from AC/DC. Probably Highway to Hell. Variations on a theme. But probably this little dump doesn’t even have a proper strip club.

Luckily, this shabby roadhouse has a separate room for pool tables; it’s pretty hidden and easily approachable without being noticed. Not that I don’t like hanging out with the guys… okay, that’s also a part of it, we’ve been basically locked in a tour bus, concert venues and hotel rooms since last September. We’re each other’s company all the time, the only place where I can spend a few hours by myself is basically the ever-changing setting of my incoherent dreams. Only mentally, of course, since basically there’s always someone snoring around. And of course, they also keep showing up in random scenarios and with people they don’t even know but that’s the point of dreams, your brain forces you to put jigsaw puzzle pieces together that don’t match. Or they do, you just don’t know about it… Long story short, there’s no way to get rid of these dudes… Okay, it sounds as if they annoyed me… shit, they do annoy me more and more often and I hate this feeling. We’re basically friends; we wouldn’t be able to play in the same band if we didn’t get on well. But before we started touring, we’d all had our own circles including friends and colleagues, different hobbies, natural habitat… and music and the band had been only the intersection of them. We met when we had to do something as a band, we spent time together to write songs, rehearse, record… and in the remaining time, everybody lived their own life. That we don’t have anymore.

Usually, I try to not see only the dark side of this situation but now, I’m not feeling able to put on a smiley face. Maybe the fact that my whole digestive system is burning doesn’t help either… I bought a cola at the gas station next to the bar and smuggled it in under my jacket. That’s the only piece of advice of the doctor that is also useful under tour circumstances. I mean, I can’t just drop everything and lie down when the pains are coming, I can’t spend my evening sitting on the loo when I have to play a gig and who cares about diet when you can’t even eat or sleep on a regular basis? But cola is always there, no matter where I am. It’s the only thing that eases my nausea effectively and isn’t very conspicuous at the same time. And this one is as cold as ice, it feels good to press the bottle to my stomach as I’m crouching in fetal position in this armchair. Although the doctor probably wouldn’t approve, I spiked it with a few drops of rum. To be honest, they were bigger drops but I finally wanted to empty my flask. I decided to give up drinking spirits, beer makes me unpredictable enough and mixing drinks only fucks my digestion up too.

“Here you are, finally! I knew you were somewhere here too!”

So much for hiding…

“Hi, Karrie…”

“Man, you’re missing the best parts… some local chicks started courting the guys, they even got them to dance…”

“Awesome…”

“Mike, can you hear what I’m telling you? I said the guys were made to dance… I mean, the guys such as Jeff, Dave and Stone… and dance, like, moving the body rhythmically to the music… Although the girl who picked Stone had a difficult job…”

“Let me guess: she failed.” I remark in a bored voice and shake the bottle in small circles not to waste a drop of my drink.

“Mike? Is something wrong with you? Normally, you would basically drop everything and rush there to see the end of the scene but… yes, something’s wrong with you...” she answers her own question with a concerned face sinking down slowly onto the other armchair.

“I’m fine…” I mumble as I embrace my knees and lean my chin against them.

“Mike, I haven’t known you for a long time but I’m pretty sure that sitting alone curled up like a hedgehog is not your normal state. The pains, again, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I don’t like being taken for an idiot. Ninety percent of my job basically consists of watching every move of yours and trying to figure out your needs before you would even think about them. Do you think I haven’t noticed you’re suffering?”

I should have known. She usually stays in the background, doesn’t meddle in the business of the others but she’s all ears and eyes… she knows everything about us.

“All I know is that it must be something with your stomach or intestines… I don’t know exactly how serious it might be but it seems to be serious enough to be treated…” she goes on ignoring my stubborn silence. “Have you already seen a doctor? Have you already been diagnosed?”

I’ve seen several ones. I have a diagnosis. But I doubt she wants to hear the detailed description of my medical history, in particular the analysis of that delightful feeling when objects are being put up into your butthole.

“Do the others know about it?”

Oh, sure… like the inexhaustible source of Stone’s stupid anal jokes needed any feeding…No, thanks. And enlightening the others about the fact that pissing in the corner and running around naked aren’t the only sorts of accidents happening with me from time to time isn’t one of my top priorities either.

“Look, Mike, you’re an adult. Legally, leastways. I can’t tell you what to do and I’m finished with the heart-to-heart, I promise but… come on, all I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to feel ashamed and you can live a quality life whatever your problem is, for example Effie…”

“Effie?” I try not to sound like a maniac but I almost kick the table over as I jump back in regular sitting position. “You mean she…?”

“Hasn’t Judy mentioned it?”

“What?” I ask so far as I’m able to speak at all due to the lump in my throat that grew out of nothing of the mere mention of her name.

“She’s been waiting for new kidneys, or at least one new kidney for months. It’s pretty difficult to find a suitable donor for her… but she’s optimistic, as always. And also angry a bit but it only helped her move on.”

“May I ask… what happened to her? I mean, I understand if it’s not public or…” I try to form coherent sentences, which is not that easy at all after this shock therapy.

“It’s not a secret, it’s the result of medical mistakes.” she starts telling the whole story. The chain of her ordeals is more than simple misfortune, and honestly, as I’m trying to recall that compelling but still playful voice, it’s difficult to believe her life depends on permanent medical help. “…and that’s where we are now.” she finishes with a deeps sigh.

“Poor girl…”

“She’d cut your throat if she heard you. She hates being pitied and tries to keep her life in the normal track very hard, limits and obstacles have always annoyed her… but she’s not that kind of girl to whom you can explain that life can be complete without sky diving, rock climbing or space travel too.” she shrugs with a bittersweet smile.

“Does that mean she keeps going on with her studies and…”

“That’s the problem. She’s suspended her studies, gave up her student jobs but she’s already regretted it. And Annie, I mean, her mom is overconcerned and wants her to rest and stick around until the transplantation will have been carried out. And that’s one of the reasons why I recommended Judy as my replacement…”

“They need money…”

“Yup. But the point of my coming up with Effie’s case is to make you understand you’re not alone, having an illness is not a shame but I hate clichés so I rather shut up. I don’t want to lecture you, I would just feel guilty if I didn’t even try to talk about it with you.”

“I have already heard so much about her… do you have a picture of her or something? I’m curious… I mean, it’d be nice if I could connect a face to all those awesome stories…” I hear myself talking. Gaah, I don’t want seem to be pushy or a psycho stalker but I need to see her face.

“Uhmm, I used to keep a few family photos in my wallet, if you’re lucky I still have them…” she begins to rummage in her purse. “Ah, here it is. But no, that’s an old one.” she puts the picture back before I could take a look at it.

“NO, I WANT TO SEE IT.” I grab her forearm. “Please…?” I soften my voice seeing her puzzled expression. So much for avoiding deranged behavior.

“She was like seventeen when it was taken, it’s the yearbook photo from her senior year I guess.” she hands it to me.

I don’t know what I was expecting or if I was expecting anything at all but one thing I know: I wasn’t prepared for THIS. Judy mentioned she was blond and had blue eyes and normally, I would pair this combo with a Barbie-type girl in my imagination. But she’s everything but a Barbie-doll, her clear, shining, honest eyes stare into the camera with some cautiousness but if you examine her face carefully enough, you can discover hints of impishness playing around her lips and those tiny freckles around her nose and her skin that was still wearing the last kiss of late summer sun when the picture was taken… Jesus ‘Cready, you’re not a poet, you’re not even sane. Yes, I must have lost my mind, I’m hearing music in my head… “Drea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream…”

“Mike… Mike… Miiiike…” I find myself in the reality again when Karrie snaps a couple times with her fingers in front of my face. And I realize I didn’t grow a DJ in my mind, the song of Everly Brothers is actually playing in the bar.

“I take this now back, I found another one.” Karrie has to basically disentangle my clenched, grabby fingers from the photo but my eyes are still glued to the face in it, greedily collecting the tiniest details until it disappears in the wallet. “Here.” she pushes the other picture in front of me. “It’s from last year, I think, her hair is curlier here but that’s her natural look, she doesn’t have it straightened too often.”

The second photo gives that human tornado, that young woman clearly back whom I’ve imagined so many times since that very phone call and of whom now I know that she’s officially out of my league. It’s definitively confirmed, not that I had any chance to meet her in real life or at least talk to her again…

“You know what? You should consider talking with her about it. I think she’d understand it better than any of us.” Karrie remarks casually while sliding the pictures back into their place.

Oh. Yes. Sure. Why not call this angel to tell her I’m a disgusting pig who doesn’t have the slightest control over his metabolism, lets out disgusting sounds involuntarily and shits in his pants at least once in a week. Yes, that’s something I would totally chat with her about…

“It’s just an idea, I’m sure Judy would help you find a way to get in contact with her… of course, only if you want to…”

“Houston, we have a problem… Karrie… there’s a situation… we need you…” Scully basically falls into the room breathlessly.

“Jesus, what happened?” she jumps up terrified.

“It’s Judy… you should go after her…” he gasps pressing his hand against his right side. “I’ll tell you on the way…”

“Sorry Mike, we’ll talk about it later…” she shouts back on leaving.

At least my interrogation is over and I can spend some time alone since the others seem to be busy with that “situation”, whatever it is… Maybe I could practice pool tricks, I still haven’t given up my goal to beat Stone at least once in this lifetime. Even if we aren’t playing against each other, he keeps bothering me with his sarcastic comments and doesn’t let me try things in my own way, I can’t really improve my pool skills when he’s around.

After playing a few rounds against myself and winning, of course, I realize the pains have almost gone… It’s so weird, you immediately notice discomfort but you’re always unaware of the lack of it for a while, especially if you manage to direct your thoughts on something else. I guess I should look for the others, I hope Judy’s okay…

“Sorry” an unknown female voice addresses me with a short cough “have you got light?”

***

„So… what’s the plan?” Dave asks leaning on the counter with his elbows facing towards the tables.

“What plan?” I ask back positioning myself in the same way to be able to take a look around.

“For the evening… with the ladies.” he winks meaningfully.

“I don’t know… I guess we’re just hanging out. But why are you asking me? It is you and Jeff who are allowed to have any plans with any ladies… I have a beautiful girlfriend at home, remember…” I answer and I feel my lips pulling in a wide grin; I can’t help, I’ve developed this instant reaction that occurs whenever my gorgeous blondie is on my mind.

“How could I forget… you’d never miss an opportunity to rub this fact in our face. Anyway, Jeff doesn’t seem to be interested in them either, for obvious reasons…”

I squint at the pinball machine where the two second fiddles whose names I’m simply unable to recall are trying to break their personal records. I don’t really get why they think screaming helps them keep the ball on the play field but at least they prevent Jeff from falling asleep; he’s suppressing one yawn after another while stealing glances alternately at the basketball match on the TV screen and the table around which Scully, the slightly deranged leader of the girl bunch and our pocket-sized roadie are having an apparently deep conversation.

“He shouldn’t torture himself, his obvious reason doesn’t give a fuck about his awkward performance.”

“You can never know. Maybe she ignores intentionally that he’s ignoring her intentionally. But I guess you’re happy about it, the super professional band leader who’s against within-band hook-ups…”

“You know my opinion…” I shrug. “Just think about Fleetwood Mac and what happened to them.”

“Uhm, they became a world-famous top rock band?”

“You’re right! Come with me in the restroom, NOW!”

We both burst out in a dirty, tipsy laughter and it takes a few minutes until we calm down enough to be able to speak again.

“So, what are your plans?” I nudge him still shaking of warm-down snorts from time to time.

“I guess if the dynamics don’t change very quickly in the opposite direction, Jeff will vanish in less than ten minutes… and I’ll have to sacrifice myself and keep both chick entertained in the rest of the evening. But I don’t mind, they’re both cute.” Dave takes a sip of his beer wiggling his eyebrows satisfied.

“Both chick? What about… Caledonia?” I nod towards the black-haired alpha female of the trio.

“Her name is Claudia, geez man, you’re hopeless… but no, thanks, her behavior reminds me of that psycho woman in Fatal Attraction too much.” he frowns. “Stoney, be a man and do what you gotta do.”

“…which is…? Jesus, I’m not interested in any random girl I encounter and as you said, she’s totally insane, while we were dancing…”

“… while she was dancing…”

“… I felt as if I had been caught by a boa constrictor that was squeezing me tighter and tighter and I swear, it must have been an extended, super long version of Hot Stuff, I thought it would never end, like, it was at least three minutes longer than usual…” I go on since I’m not willing to react to his undisguised reference to my dance talent.

“Just go back to her, have a polite chat with her and say bye in half an hour… maybe I can keep Jeff here and you can use each other as excuse for leaving. I’ll be here and keep an eye on you and in case she gets out of control, I call the local herpers to catch her.” Dave presents his concept about the strategy I should follow.

“Herpers against herpes, it sounds like the name of some non-profit organization... Okay, approved but if I start yelling “red code”, you launch the rescue operation, that’s the signal.”

“Just go finally, the sooner you begin, the earlier you can get out of here.”

I grab my beer and walk to the small company around the table but as soon as I arrive, all its members fall suddenly silent.

“What’s up, Scully? Hi Claudia.” I greet them and get a dark look from the third person whom I’m trying to ignore to get away with the situation as simply as possible.

“Scully… what kind of name is that at all?” Claudia mutters listlessly; for some unknown reason her energetic behavior has gone; she’s playing with her hair bored leaning her face against her palm.

“There are some who call me… Tim.” Scully uses the occasion to crack a Monty Python joke.

“Tim the Enchanter.” I finish the quote basically swallowing the last syllable since I hear the other girl uttering the same words simultaneously.

“Is that some inside joke of yours?” Claudia mumbles unwillingly.

“Kind of.” I answer in the same style. “But his real name is Timothy, that’s the truth.”

“Anyway, these weird nicknames are pretty common in your crew. Scully… Stone… I wonder how you got this one.” she goes on in a monotonous voice. It’s strange, she doesn’t sound like someone who feels like having a conversation at all. Maybe she’s that depressed type of drunk.

“Guess what: from his parents.” the annoying little smartass answers instead of me raising one eyebrow.

“Oh, really? Your name is almost as bizarre as you.”

What. The. Actual. Fuck. I don’t mind if she spares me an uncomfortable talk and leaves me alone before I would ditch her but why is this turnaround?

“Judy, you promised you were going to play foosball with me! Come, the tables are finally free!” Scully jumps to his feet pulling his colleague by her hand.

“What? I didn’t promise anything, I…”

“Come on, you have a mind like a sieve, of course you did! We could invite the others too and you could teach us those mind-blowing tricks!” he drags her enthusiastically in the direction of the foosball tables; she seemingly protests a little but finally gives in and follows him reluctantly.

“Uhm… I hate to admit but she’s a first-class player.” I speak up with a sentence I didn’t want to say at all but the urge to break the awkward silence was strong enough that my mind forgot to look for better topics.

“Wow.”

Gosh, I’ll need anti-depressants, if she goes on like this.

“I everything okay?” I try to look in her eyes. “I mean… you seemed to have fun when you came over, you even danced… but now… I mean, if it’s a private thing, you don’t have to answer…”

“Stone… you are a really nice guy and all, handsome, actually funny but… I don’t think we would match.”

Thank God. But something I can’t explain makes me ask for the reason instead of confessing I’m not available anyway.

“Oh. I see. And… what makes you think we’re too different?”

“I don’t know… there are just so many antagonistic characteristics… For example, I don’t like animals. I mean, I just can’t get on well with them, I don’t even like watching documentaries on them.”

“I love them, I have a cat called Red and I love dogs too, my family has always had dogs. But I know there are people who feel strange when animals are around, I’m okay with that… what else?” I inquire; the suspicious feeling keeps telling me something’s not okay here, something’s FUCKIN’ not okay here. Maybe if I ask further questions, I get closer to the reason of her behavior.

“I don’t eat red meat at all.”

“Haha, then we have something in common. I have vegetarian phases from time to time and I’m right in the middle of one. I have nothing against meat but I only consume them at special occasions.”

“But that’s the point, I hate these special occasions!” she blurts out passionately. “And I loathe even the smell of beef, let alone touching it.”

“I repeat, I can live without it.” I laugh. “And… your concern about differences is really sweet but I have to tell you something: I have a girlfriend at home, we’ve been together for months so…”

“I know! And you’re so lucky to have someone who accepts you the way you are, even if your taste is everything but ordinary and…”

Let’s wait for a second… how does she know about Amber? And what’s this babbling about my quirky style? And what was this madness about animals and meat? My mind switches to replay mode and I try to recall the moments of the evening double-time… I see ourselves arriving, them coming to our table, us dancing to the fast-forward version of Hot Stuff, them disappearing in the restroom, them getting back from the restroom and joining Scully and J…STOP! Her. That. Little. Shit. It could be only her. She must have said something about me, something crazy shit, because that’s what she’s doing all the time, she tries to turn everybody against me and ruin my reputation and… Okay, first I have to get rid of Claudia, it’s not her fault, after all.

“Thanks for saying that, it’s very nice from you. And I’m sure, sooner or later you’ll find a guy who really fits you. I hope I didn’t hurt you but I don’t really like to talk about my private life. But I guess my friends enlightened you about the details to avoid misunderstandings…” I squint at her playing the gentle refusal routine. If my presumption is correct, it’ll turn out here and now.

“Oh yes!” she jumps on my words immediately. “Judy told me everything. She cares about you a lot, she’s such a good friend!”

“She is.” A good friend of cheap tricks and pretended innocence. But she’ll pay for this. “Her problems are usually similar to mine so we are pretty much on the same wavelength.” Whatever it is, I throw the shit back at that viper. “But this is so awkward and I don’t want to waste your time so… I wish you all the best and good luck with guys!” I stand up already thinking about medieval methods of torment I would gladly try on that two-faced dwarf.

“Thanks… and be happy with that lucky girl!” she sends a saddish smile and I feel guilty for a second for leaving her alone right when she stopped playing the role of the tempting seductress. But while I’m walking to the foosball tables, my thoughts are going back to my unfinished business with that hypocrite, mean…

“No, Scully, the point is in the right angle, look, I don’t shoot the ball until… hey, Scully, you’re not even watching… oh.” she suddenly falls silent and flushes as she follows the gaze of the pale, petrified guitar tech in my direction as I arrive to them. He was obviously trying to save her ass but I don’t blame him, he hates fights, he probably feels being between two fires.

“You know what? I’m also dying to learn more about your little tricks.” I stop at the foosball table with folded arms.

“Oh my God, I love tricks.” Claudia’s enthusiastic friend chirps from the other side of the table. “What? I do love them!” she whines not decoding the strict face the third member of their bunch sends at her after nudging her to finally shut up.

“S-sure, I gladly show them to you too…” the manipulative little beast stutters.

“Face-to-face.” I cut her off in my coldest voice and I can basically hear how hard she just swallowed.

“Ugh… let’s look for Jeff and Dave.” Scully steers the two confused, reluctant friends of Claudia out of range basically tossing them towards the bar counter.

“So, what do you want to know?” she asks almost cheerfully; what an acting performance.

“Oh, I want to know a lot of things… if aliens exist… where the other half of my favorite pair of socks might be… what’s the equivalent of blushing at chameleons… why Claudia suddenly started treating me as if I was a leper…”

“They do. Probably in Jeff’s suitcase. You can’t embarrass a reptile. Maybe she has finally seen the light…” she lists her answers shrugging nonchalantly. “But I guess it’s a relief for you, so we’re happy now, huh?”

“It depends. I wonder if someone helped her out with some useful information about me…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about… not that it matters as for the result…” she starts spinning the sticks in the table for no reason, since no one else is around, it’s probably just a pathetic excuse for avoiding eye contact.

“You know, I like to decide on my own with whom I want to spend my time.”

“Do you absolutely exclude the possibility of other people feeling the same way? What if she just didn’t enjoy your company?”

“That’s not impossible but the marvelous change in her behavior makes me think something happened either in the restroom or at the table… and guess what? You were there the whole time too.”

“Are you stalking me? Jesus, should I have reported what I was doing at the loo? And I’m even sitting at tables, holy shit, that’s a federal crime.”

“She herself told you on. I haven’t figured out yet what you told her but I know Scully like the back of my hand; he’s obviously trying to cover for you but keeping secret and acting aren’t his strengths. Sooo… you can play dumb but it’ll take me less than two minutes to get everything out of him.”

Her hands stop fidgeting in the second she realizes there’s no point in denying.

“If you’re convinced that much, then why are you asking me? Just execute me here and now…” she stretches out her arms playing the role of the innocent, targeted victim.

“Nah, you can’t get away with it so easily. I wanna know why you did what you did.” I stand in her way since I can see her eyes mapping the possible escapes.

“Why do you want to know why I did what you think I did?” she asks back still keeping the poker face. She still thinks she can win, unbelievable.

“Well… it’s just interesting. Jeff and Dave danced with those girls too but as far as I can see, their popularity hasn’t decreased, I wonder why…” I turn around for a second and nod towards our table where the guys are laughing hard at something with Scully and Claudia’s friends, Claudia seems to have been vanished in the meantime, though.

“Because they don’t have girlfriends...” she remarks earnestly staring at them, not even noticing she broke the character.

“So that’s it? That’s why you did it? You think I can’t even look at other girls since I’m not single?”

“You just shouldn’t. I mean, you found a girl who meets your special needs, you wouldn’t have such luck once again in this lifetime.” she sits back on the high horse again.

“What special needs?” I ask eagerly hoping I can finally put the whole picture together.

“I don’t know, four boobs, tiny brain, large bed, I guess…” she goes on with the bullshit.

“That’s you theory about my needs? Wonderful… So you think I would have cheated on my girlfriend without your machination?” I raise my voice.

“I didn’t say that…”

“Did I kiss her?”

“You didn’t but…”

“Did I hug her?”

“You didn’t but…”

“Did I grope her?”

“You didn’t but…”

“Then what the fuck did I do that bothered your sensitive soul so much that you dared intervene in my business?” I lean over her making her back away.

“You laughed and…”

“What?” I scream. “You think me laughing with someone wearing skirt makes you entitled for shit-talking? You’re insane. You know what? You can play the self-proclaimed moral police of the crew or Seattle or the whole fuckin’ universe, I don’t give a fuck. Just leave. Me. Alone. Mind your own love life. Oh, wait? You don’t have one? Maybe that’s the problem?” I cover my mouth with my palm pretending shock.

“Screw you, Gossard.” she whispers hoarsely and tosses me away with her shoulder rushing past me.

***

I catch her at the entrance, in front of the building. Scully was right, she seems to be pretty upset.

“Shit, shit, SHIT!!!” she shouts emphasizing the last “shit” by kicking at full strength in the dumpster standing on the side of the road. “Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” she bounces with painful groans on one leg until she almost loses her balance and limps back to plop down onto the curb.

“I heard that Converse was planning to launch steel toe sneakers, first I thought the brand managers were tripping on something but seeing you it totally makes sense.” I remark as I take place next to her with the moves and in the pace of a seventy-year-old woman; this position is anything but comfortable for my permanently aching knee.

“Ha, very funny. I should have kicked him in the balls. With steel toe boots…” she mumbles taking her foot in her lap. “I hope I didn’t break my big toe.” she tries to make a diagnosis by palpation.

“If I’m not wrong, you’re talking about the genitalia of Stone Carpenter Gossard.”

To my biggest surprise, it’s not the anatomical term that catches her attention.

“What? Carpenter?” she asks snickering but she also wipes out an involuntary teardrop with the back of her hand from the corner of her eye in the meantime. Whatever happened, it must have actually hurt.

“Yes, that’s his middle name. But: you didn’t hear it from me. And, I know the temptation is huge but try to keep this information until you can use it with cool head.”

“I’m as cold as an icicle.” she sniffles bitterly.

“As a melting icicle.” I stop a next teardrop rolling down on her face with my thumb. “Come on, what happened?”

“Nothing. I’m just so sick of it. So sick of him.”

“What has he done?”

“You mean apart from getting addicted to oxygen twenty-something years ago?”

“Did he say something?” I ignore her sarcastic response.

She laces her arms around her knees and begins to examine her shoes.

“Did he do something?”

She insists on remaining silent and resists my interrogation pretending the patterns on her socks require all her attention.

“Or didn’t he say or do something? That’s the problem? Look, I don’t have to care about your childish quarrel. I just wanted to check if you’re okay since Scully was worried about you. But frankly, maybe too many people are already busy with trying to keep your war over sandbox toys under control.”

“You could finally decide on whose side you are…”

“Obviously on Stone’s. But it has practical reasons, Mike mentioned once he had drunk expired beer during a gig with his previous band and he’d vomited in the amplifier…” I try to ease the tension. “But Jesus, Judy, joke aside, I’m on nobody’s side, of course. I’m just trying to help but if I don’t know what happened, I can’t. And I’m helpless since believe or not, I know he’s a really great guy and I also know you’re an awesome chick and honestly, I have no clue why your arrival has turned him completely inside out.”

“So it’s my fault.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I’m just… so sick of him.”

“You’ve already said that.” I fish a tissue out of my pocket and hand her so that she doesn’t use her forearm to clean her nose.

“You know… he’s not the first smug prick I have to deal with, I met enough of them at Juilliard… but usually, I just ignored them.”

“Then why don’t you ignore him too?” I ask although I know there are several reasons that make this idea extremely difficult.

“I’m not in the position in which I could pretend he’s invisible. And inaudible. I mean, letting it slide sounds like a way that could be even effective, maybe he would get tired of torturing me after a while… but it’s not like high school bullying, I don’t have years to get rid of him, at least you have a glimmer of hope every year there that maybe the bullies find a new victim in the freshman class… But… despite what this whole situation looks like, this is the adult world. This is my job, the management is my employer and if the band is not satisfied with me, I’m going to be fired.”

“But they are satisfied with you…”

Her disbelieving expression makes me correct my sentence.

“They are not dissatisfied with you…”

“Stone is. And he’s the leader and main songwriter of the band so if it came to a dealbreaker… guess who would draw the short straw.”

“Who talks about a dealbreaker? At this point, you’re my trainee. You’re under my protection.”

“And you know what’s the most irritating part? That I’m trying, I’m really trying… I do everything to fulfil his wishes…”

“…which are often ridiculous, let’s be honest. I mean, he’s an immensely talented musician but he… all of them have to learn that being loud and raw isn’t the most important thing…”

“Exactly… I just want to turn up the volume until his monitor box explodes and then just shrug, like “you wanted this, fucker”.“ we both giggle recalling the awkward moments and the looks we exchanged at sound checks. “But what’s your strategy? How can you convince him?”

“Well… I don’t try to convince him with explicit arguments… somehow I learned how to make him believe that my suggestion was originally his idea.”

“Clever… but ah, I couldn’t make it… he disagrees with everything I come up with… it’s like an innate reflex at him.”

“Aaand you’ve just caught the point!” I snap with my fingers.

“…which is… that it’s a reflex and he can’t help it?” she frowns.

“No, the other thing you said… he disagrees with everything that comes from you.”

“…aaand…?” her hands circling around each other urge me for getting straight to the point. “Yes, I’m the problem, I know, there’s nothing new in that.”

“NO! And actually… I’d rather keep you in the dark about it. Namely, we’ve got a plan.”

Two plans actually, in case plan A doesn’t work…

“We? You and…?”

“Schmitty, Brett and Scully. None of them is particularly good at keeping secret but this time they are holding on, I’m very proud of them. But as far as I know you, you’d ruin everything if you knew the details.”

“I can’t wait… if it doesn’t involve a pair of dirty, stinky socks getting stuffed into Stone’s mouth, I’m not interested in it, anyway… whatever… sorry for being skeptical, the guy is smart, he smells plans and tricks from miles… and even if he doesn’t, he ruins your self-esteem and drives you into series of mistakes and then” she claps suddenly making me start ”he gets you and makes fun of you.”

“You don’t need to exaggerate, he’s not Satan itself…”

“Are you sure?” she narrows her eyes meaningfully. “I had finally gained some confidence by the time I graduated from Juilliard, I mean, I finally believed that being admitted and receiving a degree there meant I could really… achieve something… and now... I feel like I’m at the start again.”

“The situation is certainly out of your comfort zone… but you came from a different world… and his world is strange for you too and…”

“If it was only about this!” she cuts me off. “He’s mocking me permanently, at everything. Everything. Like in elementary school, he makes remarks about my look, my dresses…”

“But you mock him back!”

“… my love… life…” she goes on in a thinner voice. “Or… rather the lack of it. Rude remarks.”

Whoa, that’s new. Obviously, I’ve heard him cracking jokes about her innocent look and Jeff’s admiration for her that he rather disapproved than encouraged, by the way… but he hadn’t humiliated her publicly only for being single… I need a context.

“What did he say exactly?”

“He told me not to put my nose into other people’s business… and that I should to stay away from his private life and insulted me by saying I didn’t even have a love interest…” she recalls in a bored voice like she was reciting a textbook.

“That doesn’t make any sense… what happened before?” I inquire. Something tells me that’s only the second half of the story…

“We had sort of a… disagreement.”

“You don’t say…” I squint at her. “Come on, don’t make me pull everything out of you word by word!”

“Can I have a cigarette?” she asks out of the blue.

“But you don’t even smoke!” I protest.

“Do you want me to go on or not? Just give me a cigarette, please.”

“Oookaaay…” I hand her the pack with my lighter in it.

“So… there were those girls who showed up in the bar… they sat down to the guys’ table…” she begins as she hits the pack with her index finger a few times to set a cigarette free.

“Yes, I saw them, they even danced with them, it was hilarious!” I giggle. Honestly, not only the recall of the scene cracks me up, her fumbling with the lighter is hysterical too.

“One of them… Claudia… she hit on him. I mean, on Stone.” she utters with disgust as she succeeds in lighting the cigarette for about the sixteenth attempt.

“Oh yeah… she seemed pretty pushy.”

“Pushy is not the right term, she was just shameless! I encountered her in the restroom, she started asking questions about him, you know, if he’s single, what kind of girls he liked, stuff like that. And I… ahem… I told… ahem-ahem… I told her… ahem… I told he had a girlfriend ahem-ahem-ahem-ahem…”

Even the first drag drives her on the verge of choking.

“Are you sure you want to smoke it?”

“Yes, I am… ahem… I’m okay… I’m just… ahem. Okay. I think it’s over.” her breathing calms down finally. “So” she takes another drag, a perceptibly more cautious one “long story short, she didn’t even care… and that asshole didn’t even resist.”

“I didn’t see him reciprocating her approach… What should he have resisted?”

“Everything? OUCH!!!”

Due to her outraged hand moves, she managed to drop the ash onto her forearm.

“Okay, you give that to me…” I grab her by the wrist and take the cigarette between my own middle and index finger. “When you’re smoking, you have to ash it regularly to avoid accidents like this. It also burns while you’re talking, just sayin’…”

“Damn… but it’d feel really good to hold a cigarette in my hand while I’m flailing…” she whines still rubbing her forearm.”

“Here. But don’t even try to light it. We can pretend you’re smoking it. Go on.” I hand her a fresh cigarette and begin to puff the one I confiscated.

“And I got just… so angry! I mean, how can one be such a slut?” she gestures on with wider moves.

“Well, a lot of girls just want to have fun and…”

“No, I’m talking about him! He’s got a girlfriend… who must be beautiful and smart and perfect and… “

“Wait, you don’t know anything about her…”

“That’s true but guys like him obviously wouldn’t date any girl…”

I’m dying to know what she means by “guys like him” but maybe this is not the right moment to ask it straightforwardly…

“But he didn’t do anything particular with that girl…” I try to defend him effortlessly.

“Were you there too? Because I was. And trust me, without my intervention, a lot more would have happened…”

“Wait, your intervention?” I perk my head but receive no response. “Judy??? What did you do?”

“I… I might have said her a few things… about Stone…” she confesses with burning cheeks.

“Things like…???” I claim a detailed explanation. Maybe she’s not as innocent this time as I thought…

“I told her things about… what he likes…” she answers reluctantly.

“Like beer or dogs or disco music or what the hell? Tell me the whole fuckin’ story or I leave, I swear!” I flare out at her.

“Things… he likes in… bed…”

Oh. The idea of Judy disclosing Stone’s bedroom secrets sounds dangerous enough to make me choose my words wisely.

“But you… you don’t know what kind of sex he likes… do you?”

“Jesus, of course I don’t, I don’t even want to think about the fact that that freak has sex at all! Jesus… not even in my worst nightmares…” she rolls her eyes staring in front of her.

“But then… how did you know…”

“I… used my… imagination…” she sums up with a brief shrug.

I’ve never heard a more euphemistic synonym for lying. “I used my imagination…” Wicked woman.

“Oh my… and what was your intention with that?”

“To make her reconsider her choice… and to defend Stone from her… you know, I wanted to help him getting out of this situation, guys just never have the strength... I basically did him a favor!”

Of course, Judy helping Stone. I could even imagine it but strictly only after the arrival of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

“Thinking back about the beginning of our conversation, he couldn’t be particularly grateful for the helping hand…”

“Well, the thing is that the nature of our relationship sort of… influenced my word usage…”

“Judy, I’ve known you since your birth, you don’t need to use vague sentences… just tell what you told her finally!”

“I told her he liked watching animals, I might have mentioned mating animals. For example, watching David Attenborough video tapes before he…”

“I get it, I get it… but that’s not that extreme, thank God you didn’t say he liked animal porn in which people do it with animals…”

“Maybe I mentioned further preferences too… maybe I said something about him liking eating from the girl’s body…”

“That can even be hot, a lot of people are into it, that’s not that bad at all, Judy…” I snicker.

“…unusual food… like bloody steak with Worcestershire sauce… with knife and fork…”

I immediately stop giggling and freeze because I have the sinister feeling she still has something to confess.

“Uhm… I thought you were talking about potentially erotic food like strawberry and whipped cream but in case the girl likes steak too…”

“…and it’s possible I said things about his… performance too…”

“Oh, no.”

“I remember mentioning… he needs, uhm, special actions to become… motivated.” she fidgets with her shoelaces absent-mindedly, wrapping them around her index fingers.

“Okay, whatever, go ahead, I’m prepared.” I cover my eyes with my hands as if they could prevent me from visualizing her bizarre ideas.

“As far as I can recall… I claimed his main turn-on was watching the girl doing her business…”

“You mean doing the business? Like… pleasing… herself?” I ask back since don’t want to believe what I heard.

“I said doing her business… on the toilet…” she repeats with a miserably groan, reddening and avoiding my gaze.

“Judy… you know I’m always ready to defend you from anything or anybody but… it’s no wonder Stone attacked you again.”

“No wonder? He deserved it! After all that bitching…”

“He deserved it? Helping hand, of course… you basically humiliated him in front of a girl!” I scold her trying to keep a serious face, which is not easy at all.

“Do you think I went too far?” she asks innocently with sincere concern. For a second, she turns back into the ten-year-old version of herself who was scared of everything and everyone and it costs me a lot of restraint not to hug her. “Anyway… thinking back… it was so funny, you should have seen the girl’s face.”

I admit, this is the most hilarious shit I’ve heard in the last few years and Stone does deserve some payback from time to time but I don’t want to confirm her behavior. I’m sticking on my plan about getting them to make up or at least to normalize their relationship.

“Judy…” I begin with a deep sigh “Most guys are very sensitive as for their masculinity and sexual abilities, even if they are not typical machos. When they are joking about themselves – that’s okay, a guy with a healthy amount of self-irony is usually considered funny or even attractive. If another guy teases them with sexual topics – they just fire back, with words or their fist. But if it’s a girl who makes fun of their performance – they just freak out, they can’t hit you, they can’t assert they are sex gods either, their only way to defend themselves is attacking back verbally and they try to be at least as rude as you were. Or even ruder.”

“Oh, please, Karrie, I don’t need to be lectured on the psychology of men. He didn’t even know what I said exactly, he wasn’t there of course.”

“But it was you who said he’s smart, he probably figured out the point of it, the chick didn’t seem to be a rocket scientist and she probably didn’t even realize she got in the middle of your death match…”

“Or he was just taking shots in the dark and had luck. Scully was there and Stone was about to torment him so that he would tell him everything word by word… poor dude… So everything will turn out, anyway. By the way, Stone immediately thinking that I’m the potential reason of him being refused by a girl is insulting but also flattering at the same time…”

“Judy, I’ve never denied that it’s pretty difficult to bear Stone’s remarks without saying a word. But getting a taste of his own medicine only gets him fired up all the more, he always wants to have the last word, he’s simply just like that. And if you want to be the quicker one and make his jaw really drop, you have to get your shit together. But to be honest, I’d be happier if you’d keep your quarrels on the level of innocent teasing…”

“It was already everything but innocent in that very moment he heard my name for the first time. It didn’t depend on me, it’s all his fault and he has to face the music at least once his lifetime!” she declares determined.

I better activate plan A as fast as possible before someone gets killed.

***

I can’t wait this terrible day finally come to an end. I just want to take a shower and have some sleep… but I don’t even know how I could get myself to close my eyes, this place is a mess. What if cockroaches come out of their hideouts in the second I turn off the lights? But I’m so tired… what if I asked the driver to open the tour bus for me? Sleeping in the bunk bed sounds definitely safer… but what if he’s already sleeping? I don’t even know his room number and the reception desk was empty too; I don’t feel like looking for the staff in this haunted house. I better start with a shower, it always helps clear my mind. I’m so busy with my own thoughts that I basically bump into Beth in the hallway who’s walking sleepily towards their room; she must be coming from the shower judging from her wet hair.

“Already back here? It wasn’t a long evening…” she mutters in a tired voice.

“I’ve had enough of it. Is everything okay?” I examine her resigned face.

“Yes… uhm… Ed was typing lyrics the whole evening and then he passed out… so I had a shower and I’m about to go to bed too.” she rubs her eyes. “Carefully with the water tap, I almost scalded myself due to that crap. It’s better to wait at least thirty seconds before standing under the water and be careful when you try to change the temperature, there’s not much transition between ice cold and scalding hot, I had to mess around a lot until I could find the optimal level.”

“If I can’t work it out, I’ll just shower with cold water, that wouldn’t be the first time.” I wave.

“Ugh, if you’re a masochist…”

“It’s not the most pleasant thing I can imagine but at least it’s not dangerous either. It can be even refreshing sometimes.”

“Oookay… as you want... And there are no hooks in the shower either, by the way. But no bugs there so far either… Good night!” she pats my shoulder with almost closed eyes and totters to their door.

As I unlock the door of our room, I reach in with one arm to turn on the light and wait for a few seconds before entering; I don’t want to see my little roommates running in the corners. I lift the blanket on my bed only to realize the bedclothes aren’t the cleanest and there’s no towel prepared for the guests. Thank goodness I didn’t listen to Effie when she tried to dissuade me from bringing my own one; she claimed hotels always offer towels and travel-size personal care products… So much for Effie’s assumptions. Of course I also brought my toiletry bag decorated with treble keys and musical notes containing small bottles of shower gel, body lotion, a tiny tube of toothpaste and… due to the foresight of Effie, my “emergency package” now includes also gratuitous amount of condoms that stare at me accusingly every time I unzip it. I decide to leave my clothes in the room since I don’t like when there’s no place where I could arrange them properly, I don’t want my sleeping shirt and boxers to get wet either. There’s no living soul here, no one would see me walking a few meters only wearing a towel…

But when I pull it out of my backpack, I realize there’s one thing I didn’t take into account: I brought a smaller towel to spare place for other clothes. As I wrap it around my body, I have to trick for a while until I can arrange it in a way that it covers both my chest and my backside at the same time. Since it’s not only narrow but also short, I can forget the ordinary method of walking, I can basically only waddle pressing both arms tight to my body without exposing anything. I try to exercise this ridiculous way of moving pacing back and forth between the two sides of the room a few times and I end up sitting back on the bed hesitating if I should dress up again. I’m at a public place, after all. But fuck it, I’m tired, I had tequila and this day can’t get any worse, anyway. I peek out to the hallway to make sure I won’t get unexpected company and I set off to cover the longest twenty meters in my life. In duckwalk. But my bravery pays off, I encounter no one so on entering the shower, I finally allow myself to relax.

I put the toiletry bag on the classroom chair in front of the sinks in the forefront and fish out the shower gel bottle. I leave my glasses on the bag and head towards the innermost compartments. I decide to hang my towel on the wall separating the opposite compartments and after turning on the water, immediately jump backwards to safe distance. Beth’s advice on the adjustment proves to be useful and a few minutes later, I’m already enjoying the pleasant, warm water. Of course I brought my favorite, rough sponge too, it always helps refresh my blood circulation.

I catch myself rubbing my body stronger and stronger as I involuntarily recall tonight’s events. What a prick. Of course he deserved everything, I don’t have to feel ashamed about anything. It was him who looked for trouble. His girlfriend would have felt terrible, if she’d seen that disgusting scene so I did the right thing. His huge ego just can’t accept, this time someone was smarter than him. It’s so pathetic when a man needs this cheap kind of confirmation to feel his masculinity ensured. But come on, Stone Gossard’s name referred in connection with manliness and masculinity is the most ridiculous idea in the world, he’s got the body and mind of a thirteen-year-old.

I turn off the water and spill a few drops of shower gel into my palm but as soon I touch my shoulder with it, I hear a noise. A squeaky noise. A squeaky noise of an opening door. Oh no. No, no, no. The smacking sound of slippers on the tiled floor leaves no doubts that I have a visitor and the lazy, shuffling steps are approaching. I pull in the corner and don’t even dare breathe, I’m shivering but not only of cold, shit, what if it’s a stranger? What if it’s a man? What if I make some noise only with my mere existence? I got trapped here naked and… The sound of steps ceases and the water starts running right in the shower cubicle next to mine. Luckily, the wall is high enough to hide me although I can’t check the other person without revealing my presence either. A few seconds have gone by when humming gets mixed into the sound of water… Oh shit, it’s a male voice. The humming slowly turns into singing and my blood runs cold when I realize: I know this nasal bleat.

“If you didn’t come to party, don’t bother knockin’ on my door…”

#pearl jam fanfiction #fanfiction #PearlJamfanfic #eddie vedder #stone gossard #MikeMcCready #jeff ament #dave abbruzzese

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