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waitmyturtles · 8 months

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: A Tale of Thousand Stars Loving Rewatch Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I write about my LOVING rewatch of one of the best BLs out there, ever, in A Tale of Thousand Stars.]

While I’ve been in the midst of a plethora of awesome new shows (Only Friends, Dangerous Romance), I’ve also been treating myself with some oldies. I just wrapped up a rewatch of Until We Meet Again, to prep for New Siwaj’s Absolute Zero that’s coming out this fall. And one of the joys that I set for myself in the course of structuring the Old GMMTV Challenge was to allow myself some loving rewatches of shows that I originally first consumed out of any chronological order, and/or out of total curiosity for the amount of space they generally take up on a daily basis on Tumblr, and/or for the amount of times that I had seen these particular shows listed as top examples of genre-defining or genre-transcending BLs. Those shows include Bad Buddy (of course), and A Tale of Thousand Stars.

Way, WAY back in the day -- November 2022, to be exact -- just a couple months into my joining Tumblr and actively blogging, I realized that this show called Moonlight Chicken was being bandied about excitedly, mostly in part because EarthMix and FirstKhao were going to be in it. I was intrigued, excited to participate in my first active Tumblr fandom from beginning to end, and I asked the Tumblr gods -- oh hey, should I watch A Tale of Thousand Stars first, to get to know Earth Pirapat and Mix Sahaphap first? And the answer was YES, so I did, and I totally loved it.

And of course, I look back at that review from almost a year ago, and I giggle, because while I picked up on a lot of the raw elements that make ATOTS great, I didn't have ANY context for why the show was transcendent vis à vis pre-existing BL tropes in the Thai BL genre, what it meant to be watching a classic Backaof Noppharnach show, what it meant for the show to be set in Northern Thailand, etc. I even wrote -- oh wow, I see why some of the elders on Tumblr are saying that there are shows way better than KinnPorsche out there (LOL, oh, hindsight). I didn't have any of that context.

Now, I do. And during my recent ATOTS rewatch, I just ATE, ATE, ATE, oh my god, I just sat and fucking ENJOYED this FABULOUS drama. I was yelling and gesturing to the screen -- oh god, WHY are you SO GOOD, YOU SHOW, YOU?! Man, oh man. It was a shit-ton of fun to start rewatching dramas that I already have nostalgia for, even if I only saw them for the first time last year.

Besides rewatching some of these important dramas back in chronological order through the OGMMTVC, I also have a mission in mind: to properly rewatch ATOTS and Bad Buddy before rewatching Our Skyy 2, which I've been wanting to do for a while. That rewatch will take place after I rewatch Bad Buddy in a couple of weeks. And I'm glad I waited until I could consume Aof's entire oeuvre, because I think his whole slate of shows -- not just ATOTS and BBS -- give us clues as to what was happening by way of Pat and Pran's relationship in OS2 before their physical separation in BBS that further explain the ATOTS and BBS universes. But more on this in a few weeks, when I get to my BBS and OS2 reviews.

Back to ATOTS. As I rewatched it -- in the context of the OGMMTVC, and what I've learned about the Thai television BL genre NOW, what were the elements of this show that stood out the most for me?

1) The striking use of flashbacks to tell a story. I know NOW shows that haven't used flashbacks as well to tell a compelling narrative -- for me, most recently, the biggest example is Double Savage (and maybe even KinnPorsche goes up there, too). Before ATOTS premiered, I think the BL that used flashbacks the BEST in its narrative was Until We Meet Again, which *needed* flashbacks to tell the entire scope of its intricate story, from past to present.

Something that I forgot about ATOTS until my rewatch was how very PACED the show was. I think I had it in my head that it was a slow-ish story, because -- again, it bucked a lot of BL trends and tropes, just like He's Coming To Me also did. No side couples. No university setting. No warring faculties and uniforms. When I first wrote about ATOTS in December 2022 -- after having watched The Eclipse as my first GMMTV BL -- I marveled at the singular storyline of Tian's life change and journey. There was a LOT we needed to know about Tian to GET where he was going, and where he wanted to go. What I didn't appreciate back then was how Aof TOLD the story.

Sure -- it could have frustrated some folks that we didn't get the truth of who was driving the car until much later in the series. But that would be missing the point of that piece of truth. Tian had blamed himself for Torfun's death the second he learned about it. It didn't *quite* matter who was driving the car -- what mattered was the self-blame he assigned himself to, and the journey he thought he needed to take to absolve himself of the guilt that he carried.

The structure was beyond sharp, and just INCREDIBLY compelling. Between UWMA and ATOTS, we have two tremendous dramas that flirted with VERY risky past-to-future infrastructures, and both succeeded exceedingly well.

2) Phupha and Tian's TERRIBLE communication. I'm serious! Oh my god, y'all. Did we appreciate back then how AWFUL they are at communicating? HA! Our Skyy 2 obviously emphasized this even more -- Tian himself accuses Phupha of not being open enough to tell Tian why Phupha won't meet Tian's parents.

But, holy shit, these two guys are such drama bastards. By episode 9, I had to write in my notes, in all caps: THESE ASSHOLES ARE SUCH AWFUL COMMUNICATORS. If one person wasn't angry at the other, and avoiding the other person, then something was off in their world. Tian's titchyness, Phupha's avoidance, played against each other like opposing magnets.

And yet: of course, we know WHY they are bad communicators. We know that Phupha grew up in a traditional, rural household -- one that likely wasn't welcoming to his inner truth as a queer man.

Tian grew up in a privileged and patriarchal household that disguised itself as a matriarchal household. Now THAT shit's confusing. What Tian was to do with his life, as assigned by his parents, supposedly came from his mom -- but it was his dad that enforced those rules. Who could Tian go to to talk about his own growing inner truth as well? Not to either of his parents, who both had designs on who *exactly* Tian should be by way of their own demands and outward-facing lives.

So these two men -- both of whom barely had any practice in expressing their inner truths, their raw feelings about themselves, their life situations, and each other -- are figuring out their emotional shit vis à vis each other, for the first time in their lives. And what we get, gloriously, is a whole bunch of damn hilarious drama that left me shaking my head and laughing a bunch. They were SO passive-aggressive with each other, I had to applaud EarthMix.

And through their bad communication came so many resolutions to each storyline -- the illegal merchants, the revelation of Torfun's death and the story behind it -- that what we ultimately got to see were life-defining moments for both Tian and Phupha of utter growth. The trade-off between those dramatic anguishes and the TRUE drama of the show itself -- was well worth it, and brilliantly done.

3) The metaphor of freedom. We know, now, that Bad Buddy was existing in the same world as ATOTS.

God, I LOVE what Aof pulled in Our Skyy 2 by way of the Nong Nao eye mask (Tian even wears the Nong Nao eye mask!) -- because in rewatching ATOTS, I would have NEVER clocked that Tian was talking about his own freedom through his OWN eye mask.

We know now that Tian and Pran, in their respective shows, were on their own paths to freedom -- both from demanding families that demanded that each of them comport to absolute idealistic images of what perfect sons DID in those family structures. Both Tian and Pran have overbearing mothers with complicit fathers who demand exacting obedience. And both Tian and Pran ultimately sought freedom from that pressure.

In episode 9, I clocked a message on Tian's tote bag -- I can't get a clear-enough screenshot of it (it's in the 3/4 segment), but the tote bag says, "what is the meaning of free?" All of ATOTS is based on Tian's journey to emotional freedom -- freedom from his parents' expectations, freedom from the guilt he carries from Torfun's death.

An interesting comparison to UWMA happens in episode 5, when Tian asks about his growing feelings towards Phupha: "I don't know if these feelings are mine or Torfun's." And, of course -- combine that with what Tian needs to reckon with at the cliff in episode 9, when Tian is struggling with figuring how who's life he's truly living. As Tian separates himself from his parents -- as Tian understands his needs vs. Torfun's needs -- what Tian's struggle ultimately comes down to is, who is he really living his life for? Torfun saved him, his parents bought him the transplant -- but what does that actually mean for the meaning that Tian brings to his own life, and to the lives of others, including Phupha?

What Tian ultimately realizes is that needs freedom from the influence of everyone and everything around him to gain clarity as to who HE truly is. That, to me, is the ultimate core message of ATOTS -- it is Tian's defining journey towards the freedom that only he himself can find, vis à vis Torfun, Phupha, and Pha Pun Dao.

But because Aof is so good at wrenching our hearts with every last bit of energy he’s got: he showed us that Tian was able to come to this conclusion, ultimately, through Phupha, and Phupha's love for Tian.

ATOTS is a wonderful coming-of-age story, but without the typical cheesiness that that structure can often bring. It's a story of individual and internal change that we know gets echoed, expanded, and transformed in Bad Buddy through Pran. I see now that ATOTS and Bad Buddy are Aof's deep studies of internal maturing, both told through queer revelations, through empathic love with a rock-solid partner, and through fights against oppressive societal and familial resistances to living one's full truth.

Way, way back when -- and thank goodness for the OGMMTVC for allowing me to dive into this -- Aof depicted queer men living their very robust truths in Gay OK Bangkok. As I wrote in my GOKB review, what happened after the premiere of GOKB is that Aof went to the BL genre to begin slowly changing it, to make the genre a true home for real queer revelation and introspection. Did he ever nail it in ATOTS. Did he ever expand it in BBS. Watching ATOTS felt like coming home, because once again (as in HCTM) -- Aof defied typical expectations of the genre to get honest about what an internal reality of being queer could really be like. And to do that in Thai television BL, with all the tropes and expectations the genre had created by the time of ATOTS's airing in 2021, was remarkable.

Hearing the theme song, seeing Pha Pun Dao and the villagers (AND THE CHILDREN! I LOVE THOSE CHILDREN!), seeing the schoolhouse, seeing Earth in his forest ranger uniform, hearing the original source of the forest ranger t-shirt joke, seeing Rang and Yod again -- man, was it ever nostalgic to rewatch ATOTS, even after having seen the guys in Our Skyy 2. This show is SUCH a classic, SUCH a must-watch of the very highest order, and the fact that it does NOT shy away from a very real and difficult emotional journey is only just a part of what makes it one of the enduring diamonds of Thai BL.

[We'll return to Pha Pun Dao in a couple weeks once I get through my Bad Buddy and Our Skyy 2 rewatches -- stay tuned!

In the meantime, my review of Lovely Writer is on deck for next week. By far this is my favorite Tee Bundit drama. For the sake of my fellow drama clowns, I am giving I Feel You Linger in the Air a shot, but the editing choices are giving me slight Step By Step-PTSD. I'm gonna keep a close eye on this one.

But Lovely Writer is Tee's anomaly, and what a fabulously genius anomaly it is. I can't wait to get into it, and if you loved it, too, and you have NOT watched the Lovely Writer special episode, PLEASE watch the special ep, as I'll be referring to it -- it has a super important conclusion that wraps up the entire series beautifully.

A heads-up that I may need to take a week's break or so in early September.... hopefully I won't, but I am moving, so while I'm ahead on a few dramas, getting pen to paper has proven difficult by way of time. Hopefully this project won't be delayed too much -- but send me your best big ups nonetheless as I move domiciles!

In the meantime, here's the list -- as always, I welcome your feedback! (Tumblr's new web editor is jacking with the list below and not allowing me to strikethrough the shows I've watched. For the very latest updated list, please click here!)

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review coming) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review coming) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review coming) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) (watching) 31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 39) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 40) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 41) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults) 42) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 43) Only Friends (2023)]

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bookaddict24-7 · 8 months

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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

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140. Club Dead by Charlaine Harris--⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read in 2023!

Screw you, Bill. That's my main takeaway from this one again--my feelings on him being a crap boyfriend remain intact.

I also appreciated Sookie talking about money and how hard it has been for her to keep going and making ends meet. It's weirdly cathartic, especially when we compare the difference of how financially difficult life was in comparison to the financial difficulties of today. But also because I think a lot of the time, in these books (at least in the past), we focus so much on the relationships and the will-they/won't-they themes that we don't focus on the general lives of the characters. I'm excited to see what else comes Sookie's way! So glad I'm doing this re-read!

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141. Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Beyond the romantic idea that Sanderson essentially wrote this for his wife, this was such a fun and clever story full of adventure and hilarious moments. I enjoyed this so much more than I was expecting to, but I shouldn't have doubted because Sanderson's writing always scratches that one little fantasy itch you never knew was waiting to be scratched.

I loved the characters and how they all came together for this memorable adventure. Especially the narrator and how they spoke to us despite their current self not...being the way we expected them to be.

Also, my favourite and obvious theme was how it is a young woman who essentially saves the day. Sanderson's wife supposedly commented on how Buttercup didn't really do much to save her man in THE PRINCESS BRIDE, and I was curious to see what a more modern-day adaptation might look like. I wasn't disappointed because his mc is a badass who did all she could to save the love of her life.

While there were definitely some slower moments in the story, the dialogue and witty commentary will surely bring you back! Highly recommend it to anyone who wants a surprisingly humorous adventure set on another planet's oceans full of unexpected dangers.

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142. The Encounter by K.A. Applegate--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I am genuinely enjoying the heck out of this series!

THE ENCOUNTER is from the perspective of the one kid whose unfortunate actions in book one changed his life forever. Keeping that in mind made this book so incredibly heartbreaking. There's obviously the pain of missing what his reality once was, but seeing his fight to keep the past part of him alive despite his life changing so much made me hurt so much for him. I think his actions during this book were perfectly suited to his age, because he is, after all, just a child.

I really hope we see a better outcome for him in the future. My heart aches knowing that he is the cautionary tale for the other kids in the group.

Yes, these books are fun and full of adventure and I love that they are actually meant to be read in order. But I think that in between those suspenseful moments, the reader needs to remember that these are kids fighting a very non-kid friendly war.

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143. I Survived the Sinking of the Titanic, 1912 by Lauren Tarshis--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

As a bookstore employee, I'm enjoying reading these books because I can give better explanations to my younger customers! Also, these are just really fun bite-sized reads.

The titanic was a massive tragedy, so it was interesting to see it from the perspective of a child who had a better chance of actually surviving the sinking (a wealthy child). It made me think of a very, very condensed version of REFUGEE.

If you want a quick and eye-opening snack of history, I'd recommend this series!

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144. Monster Blood by R.L. Stine--⭐️⭐️

I don't even know anymore. LOL this book was something. Not the worst I've read in the GOOSEBUMPS series, but I do wish it had a bit more character development because, honestly, is it normal for kids who have just met to trust each other so thoroughly in the case of human-eating slime? Would you, as a precocious child, put your life in danger for the random kid you literally just met?

This is why I should have read these as a child. As an adult, my stranger danger alarms are just shining bright like a diamond.

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145. Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I went into this book with way too many expectations and that's my fault. I expected a gory and disturbing horror story set in a camp, what I got was a deeply disturbing exploration of the toxic world of cult-like religion that sent gay teens and young adults to Camp Damascus so they could be "cured" by any means possible...even if those means may be out of this world.

The book had it's moments of spook and legitimate chills because some of the language is deeply disturbing. Massive trigger warning for anyone who has trauma related to a religious upbringing. I wasn't raised in this way and I was deeply disturbed.

I wish I'd gone in with no expectations because I think I might have enjoyed it more. Was it fun? Absolutely! But I was very sad to see that it wasn't the setting I was hoping for. I know that a lot of other people will enjoy this book way more, and honestly that makes me happy!

That ending was great though--the explosion of build-up from the rest of the book was well worth the wait!

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146. Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

There are only a few books where I can say I related a little too much to the main characters. Usually, it's books exploring my immigrant background, or growing up plus-sized, but this is the first time I've read a LGBTQ+ book where I related so much to the mc and her journey to understanding her sexuality and who she is as a person.

I grew up surrounded by heteronormativity. Any moment in my childhood where I was one step away from realizing my sexuality, something or someone was there to remind me that I can't stray too far. I had a friend who wasn't the greatest of allies and I still believe that set me back a million years. Coming to terms with who I am in my late 20's and early 30's was a massive mind-fuck. Suddenly, I started thinking about all of the signs and moments I ignored so I could stay in my little bubble. Reading IMOGEN, OBVIOUSLY by Becky Albertalli was like having a mirror put up to my face with a character yelling, "I told you so" (and plot twist, that character yelling is my younger self who always argued against me hiding my truth.)

Imogen, the mc, has a friend in this book who is the personification of doubts a new member of the LGBTQ+ community may feel when they finally let themselves step out of the closet. "Am I queer enough? Do I have a right to be queer when I haven't experienced half of the things other people in the community have experienced?" This friendship was toxic and a reminder that every community has its darker side. I wanted to hug Imogen for the doubts this friend seeded in her. But I wanted to celebrate her childhood friend who helped her understand that she is valid.

Yes, there is an incredibly adorable (and quick) romance in this one, but I think more than that, what needs to be celebrated is the support of non-toxic friends, and the personal growth Imogen experienced despite the storm brewing inside of her.

This book was difficult to read because of how incredibly relatable it was and because I know this is also something Albertalli wrote from her own experiences. I often worry about what others think of me when I approach the topic of being a part of the LGBTQ+ community and thankfully, I have some amazing friends who help support me. But I can't help but think of the other kids or younger adults who don't have that support, or guidance. This book could genuinely help so many questioning readers.

Through quick, witty, personable, and deeply emotional writing, Albertalli has created a novel that I recommend to everyone--whether they're a part of the community or an ally. Words and assumptions have more power than a lot of people seem to think.

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147. Far From True by Linwood Barclay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

As always, Linwood Barclay entertained me and kept me hooked. I'm always amazed by the twist and turns and the moments where my jaw genuinely drops because of the reveals.

I'll hopefully be reading the third one in the series soon--I'm curious to see why 23 is so important and who is behind it all! I'm totally reading this series out of order, but book four thankfully didn't spoil it for me!

Onto the next one!

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Have you read any of these? What are your thoughts?

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Happy reading!

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lululawrence · 3 years

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Wordplay 5.0 Reflections

I dunno what else to call it lmao it doesn't sound right to call this a meme, but whatever it is, here we are! lol @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed came up with these questions after @wordplayfics wrapped up last year and I love them so i'm gonna use them for this year as well.

I'm going to start out with listing the prompts and linking the fics i wrote for each one for everyone's reference, though I'll be linking them again through the answers as well. I'm also putting all the questions and answers beneath a read more because, as usual, I rambled lmao Alright! Here we go!

Struggle: I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right Reduce: I Love This Feeling (But I Hate This Part) Divide: He Carries The Key Rise: Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy Sketch: I Heard You Talking

How did you come up with your ideas for the fics? Can you take us through your process after first receiving the prompt?

I don't know that I have a set way I come up with my fic ideas for Wordplay. It all depends on the prompt and what fic ideas I've got on my "to write list" that might fit that prompt. If nothing on my to write list fits or can be tweaked for a prompt, then I just go through my prompts tag until something strikes me for it, or I just ruminate on the different ways the word can be used and see if something comes up.

So, when I did the random word generator for the first prompt and "struggle" was the word that came up, I immediately thought of "struggle bus". lolllll and when I went looking through my to write list, I saw the girl Payneshaw fic I wanted to write and I was like omgggggg Nick ABSOLUTELY is riding the struggle bus the ENTIRE FUCKING TIME and I knew that was my fic for the week. lmaoooo and there you have it.

What is your favorite fic you wrote for Wordplay this year?

oooohhhh this one is HARD AND MEAN lmaoooo i forgot this was a question asked. okay legitimately i cannot choose a favorite because i'm actually stupidly proud and happy with all of the fics i wrote this year.

If you’ve participated in previous years of Wordplay, what has been your favorite prompt from all years you participated in?

WELP. as the creator of this challenge, i've participated in all 5 years which means there've been 25 prompts i've written. lolllll and honestly i think my favorite prompt is STILL from the first year. it was "bloodsucker". like, how great of a prompt is that???

What was the shortest fic you wrote this year? The longest?

the shortest one this year was... I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right at 4381 words.

the longest one was... I Heard You Talking at 10580 words.

What fic of yours surprised you?

i think all of them surprised me in some way. that's part of the joy of writing fics, isn't it? lollll but i think the one that surprised me the most was Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy. it was a last minute change (i'll elaborate in the answer to the next question haha) and it was a VERY different direction than i had planned. it was all based off of a photo i saw on tumblr, and there was no prompt with the photo. i got to just take in the basic idea of the sticker being placed on a bridge overlooking the city and what might make that spot a good kissing spot.

now, as an ace who doesn't actually ENJOY kissing, i... didn't think about the fact that i would be writing a lot of it. lollll i actually have a super hard time writing kisses and trying to make them varied while also relaying the emotional intimacy of the moment, and then add on top of that the fact that once i started writing the fic, both harry and louis let me know pretty much as soon as words started getting written that they were both genderqueer and that worked differently for each of them, so harry would use they/them pronouns and louis would use he/him still, it just made things more interesting. and the way the fic developed??? like, i had a very vague idea of what would happen in the fic. so the way it actually came about all surprised me.

long answer short, from the very start, this fic surprised me and i was just along for the ride. it was a BLAST and i sure do love it, even if it does have the second lowest hits of all the fics i wrote this year haha

Were there any prompts you struggled to find an idea for?

STRUGGLED HAHAHA sorry. just funny since struggle was a prompt this year. ANYWAY. the prompt i had the hardest time with was defo rise. i've had this fic idea ever since greg james tweeted with shawn mendes months ago about how shawn basically forgot his interview with greg on the breakfast show, so greg had to last minute wing a LOT OF AIR TIME AND SHOW CONTENT and he did a great job, but it brought about some funny content... anyway. that made me wanna write a triad a/b/o fic where greg is louis and harry's beta. rise was going to be used in a lot of different ways through the fic, as well. because breakfast show requires greg to rise from bed early, he gets a rise out of harry and louis with his behavior and overt flirtations with shawn, they have to rise above their jealousy, etc etc etc. i was VERY EXCITED.

except i only had three days i was able to write every week this summer, and those were really really difficult to get. if i wanted to write on tuesday or thursday, i was often curling up with my laptop in a dark room with some caffeine and candles burning to soothe me after the insanity that is my life atm, and write for as long as i could before my brain stopped functioning, which was often only around 30 min. but see, that particularly week was the worst part of my son's 18 month sleep regression, which meant instead of him sleeping and letting me write, i was driving him around or trying to rock him back to sleep or letting him play in an attempt to tire him out etc etc etc and by friday morning i had to admit to myself there was no way i could write that a/b/o fic in my one guaranteed evening to write every week (saturday, btw). so i was suddenly left with around 36 hours to find a new fic idea and develop it enough to be able to write it in one evening.

as i said in the answer to the first question, i usually go to my prompts tag to see what might inspire me with this prompt word in mind, but for this one that wasn't the first place i went. i tried looking at more definitions even though i'd done that earlier and nothing was inspiring me. so i then spoke to several friends and was still having a hard time finding any ideas that felt like something i would enjoy writing and could do so quickly.

by saturday morning, knowing i had less than 12 hours to figure out what i was writing so i could actually WRITE IT in only like 2-3 hours of writing time, i finally sat down and scrolled through my prompts tag. once i did, i saw the photo for the "good kissing spot", and i immediately thought of sunrise. so i ran with it. but i wanted to make it stylinshaw, so how would i work that in, etc etc etc. it was just very fast and very difficult trying to figure out how i would structure it so it could be a fun meet cute kind of fic, but also work into them actually building a meaningful connection etc and... well. it was a lot. haha so yeah, it was just a hard time overall that week, but i'm super proud of it in the end.

Were there any prompts you had an idea for but ended up writing something different? If so, what made you choose to change what you wrote? Do you think you’ll ever write your original idea at a later date?

HA okay well i already answered most of this above, but for the last part of this question, yes i will absolutely write my original idea at a later date. the whole reason i decided not to do it wasn't because i couldn't turn it into a fic that could be written in that one writing session, but because i had hopes for what that fic would be, and i didn't want to shorten and condense it enough to do that. i didn't want to have to lessen the dreams i have for that fic in my head, so i decided i would just put it back on my to write list and save it for later. who knows when, but that fic will absolutely get written.

What do you think was the most difficult as well as the easiest part about the Wordplay Challenge?

most difficult was 100% finding the time to write. that was insanely hard for me all summer, but by the time wordplay was going, things at home had ramped up to being very overwhelming regarding the demands on me and my time, and what i had been doing to carve out some time for myself and writing wasn't working anymore, so i had to adjust even more with the understanding that i was working on a really strict timeline too. so yeah. just finding the time was absolutely the hardest part for me.

easiest part was the actual writing. these fics really flowed from me, outside of the pack fic, that one was actually pretty difficult to make sure i was getting the dynamics exactly the way i wanted to have them turn out, but even with that aspect, it still was like it flowed from me most of the time. these fics really just took over and i was along for the ride. it was a blast.

If you participate again next year, is there anything you’ll do differently? If so, what?

lmao well assuming people still want wordplay to happen again, i'll run it again and very likely will take part. so... with the difficulty i had in finding any time to do anything this summer, i was actually ridiculously stressed when it came to the writing part, but also the modding aspect of it. so i am not sure that i'll run it during the summer again next year. i might have it go during the early fall once school is back in session so i at least have only one child at home instead of three to battle lol so that's one thing i'll hopefully be doing differently.

as for the writing aspect, i don't think so actually. i've done 5 years of this, and i'm having fun with it. haha if i ever find a fic idea i think could work for it, i would consider doing a series for it next year, but it all depends on if there's something i'd like to write that could work for that kind of set up with this challenge.

if you made it this far, thank you for reading!!! xxx

#wordplay 5.0 #writing stuff #my fics #mine

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shipping-receiving · 4 years

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Trivia Tuesday: Some Notes on Full Spectrum

I’m not sure if I’ll return to this story anytime soon, so I thought I’d share a little about what I wish I had done differently, and what I might do if I ever continue it.

First of all, I have to confess that I basically winged it when it came to the plot. The novel on which I based the story has an incredibly elaborate universe, so I needed to figure out how to condense that. Plus, the novel was meant to be the first in a trilogy, but the latter two books have never been published, so I had to make up or gloss over a few things as I went along. Regardless, I knew I wanted seven chapters (seven colours, Seven Kingdoms etc.), so I started off with the chapter titles using idioms/sayings that fit those seven colours.

The first chapter I wrote was Chapter 4: The Grass is Always Greener (i.e. Jaime and Brienne banging in the meadows of Tarth while tripping on colour), then Chapters 1–3 after that, all while praying that the solution for Chapters 5–7 would just magically come to me. At the end of July my outline for Chapter 7 was still: LOL IDK THEY'VE FALLEN IN LOVE IN A DYSTOPIA NOW WHAT?! So there are a ton of things that I would have changed or included if I had… you know, actually planned everything properly beforehand.

Anyway, some hopes, regrets, questions, and headcanons after the cut:

What I would write assuming the current version stays as it is:

Ideally – though I seriously doubt my abilities to pull this off given the amount of anxiety I experienced regarding all the plot conundrums in this story – I would love to write a trilogy of seven-chapter stories. Seeing as the first focuses on uncovering the conspiracies, the second would involve more political manoeuvring culminating in some sort of revolution, and the third might be… post-apocalyptic? Maybe? Or at least taking place in a kind of unstable version of the new social order.

The second act would also involve a Stoneheart plot, once they make contact with the resistance. This would explore how the Starks’ Purple perception was taken away, and what they know about the Wildfire Protocol.

Along those lines, I’d probably need to figure out J and B’s relationship arcs for the second and third acts. I suppose the most straightforward would be to have her pregnant for the second part, and there’s a time jump in the third part so they already have at least one kid.

I am toying with the idea of writing that epistolary interlude I mentioned at the end of the story. The fic would be entirely composed of sexy letters between Jaime and Brienne while she’s on Tarth (perhaps she’s stuck there for a month or two), but Jaime reveals some of what’s happening with the Council and she discusses what she’s found out from the Stark girls. I was even thinking of hiding the sensitive information in the sexy stuff – code, invisible ink, something like that – so each letter between them might actually have a second letter embedded in it.

I really love the idea of the Wildfire swatch being ‘planted’ all over King’s Landing, not to “burn them all”, but rather as a mass exposure of everyone to the Wildfire Protocol and the ability to see in natural colour. I don’t know how this could be done safely, given the addictive qualities of colour and the general chaos this would cause, but I like the subversion of canon!Wildfire. It might be the grand gesture to trigger a revolution.

*sigh* I might have to write about Shae betraying them. It’s why I tried to be careful to mention that there is hardly any way for her to know that the Stark girls are the Stark girls (it’s not like she can see Sansa’s red hair anyway), even though they stayed at her house for a couple of nights. It’s just so I could keep them protected if I have to.

Now, here’s some parallels with canon that I would make space for if I overhauled the story and turned it into a longfic:

I’d find a way to do Enemies to Lovers instead of Strangers to Lovers. My fics tend to work with the latter, so I’d want to challenge myself in that way. It’ll give me more time to develop the characters and the world as well. In that vein:

I would want to figure out a way for Jaime to be known as the Kingslayer or some equivalent, which would establish animosity between him and Brienne from the get-go. Also:

I would actually write in some form of twincest, though this would likely have ended by the time Cersei marries Robert. The idea of Jaime and Cersei having the exact same Purple perception and seeing the world in the same way (and differently from everyone else) is really ripe for exploring their dynamic and how it became toxic. It’s possible that this dynamic never became (fully) sexual, given the fact that the Colour Perception Test can also function as a kind of rough paternity test, but I think it would make for some great dialogue between Jaime and Brienne as he confronts that past. (I really wanted to write this back when I was planning for this story to switch between Brienne’s POV and Jaime’s, but it became clear that I wouldn’t be able to resolve this comfortably in seven chapters, since I prefer to give the characters time to process.)

By extension, I’m thinking about what it means to “see the world with the same eyes” – and how in canon, Cersei and Brienne are meant to be mirrors of Jaime in vastly different ways. There’s a lot to mine there in terms of Colour Perception (the vision one is born with) vs. World View (the values one cultivates). There’s also some space here for thinking about beauty as being seen vs. the act of looking.

JAIME’S GODDAMN HAND. I never explained how he lost his fingers because… I don’t know. I assume in some kind of accident during one of his scrap colour expeditions. But since its loss is so symbolic in canon, I would want to find a proper parallel for this. Perhaps he loses an eye instead?

And here’s elements from the original novel (Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde) that I would expand upon:

I’d need to better explain the Chromatic Hierarchy and how it works within the context of a feudal system. Or at least have it make more sense in my head. In the original novel, I think it was intentionally meant to be rotational in some way so certain families couldn’t centralise power for more than a few generations, but perhaps I’ll need to tweak it further to make it fit Westeros.

The original novel had a ‘central government’ called National Colour, which I replaced with the Ultraviolet Council without really having a clue how that might work. Are they a fully functioning government with a civil service? How does that work with a pseudo-feudal system – local/state and central/federal governments?

I might also want to expand on the merit system, which has much higher stakes in the original novel – if you lose enough merits, you’re sent to Reboot (thus far unexplained in the source material). It’s a means of regulating behaviour that I chose to push to the background, but I think there’s potential here for Brienne to lose faith in a ‘moral code’. Reboot could also be the official story for why the Starks were pushed out, rather than relying on the ‘diluted Purple’ narrative.

On that note, I should probably delve a bit more into how scrap colour works, and the whole economy surrounding it. In the original novel, it’s implied that scrap is basically artificially-coloured relics/trash from the past world (our world).

#jaime x brienne #full spectrum #my fic #trivia tuesday #just a lot of rambles that will be uninteresting to most of you i expect #they're barely headcanons and more like all the things i didn't solve #but there's a lot of potential in this verse if i had the patience and the time to sit down and flesh it all out

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monohart · 5 years

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clouds. (college!au)

ft. mark lee, sunny days and the brink of adolescence.

dating the campus’ radio dj was not an easy job

he was always, always busy, especially in the evenings.

he was exempted from 2/3 of his classes this semester to fit in broadcasting sessions and also to mentor the new broadcasters.

apparently they recruited a freshman, jisung. but he was a shy little bean, and mark needed to spend a lot more hours mentoring him.

which kinda meant that you would spend less time with your boyfriend

thankfully, y’all had similar classes.

there was this one class which was a capstone subject

which meant if u want to graduate u HAD to take it lol

and he aced all of the assessments in that subject so far this year

but you were just a bit competitive, so with exams coming, you planned to score a higher grade than him

which.. was an easy job, right? he spent most of his nights hosting the radio show anyway.

it both bugged and made you so extremely proud that mark was already getting proper job offers from major broadcasting channels

like when he got his first offer, he actually just finished a broadcast at around 3am, and was on the way back home

but he read the email on his phone and took a detour to your apartment

which scared the sh*t out of you

mark its almost 4am you could’ve just sent me a text??

“i don’t care i just needed to tell you this in person, oh my goodness is this even real????”

idk mark you tell me???

it was real, because he started getting offer after offer in the following week

but thankfully he didn’t pop by your place in the middle of the night again, after that first time

because you actually let him stay over that night and -

he held you in his arms as he leant against your headboard

and you just used him as a pillow because he you made him take a quick shower and he smelt of your soap but he still smelled of him and it was a comforting scent which sent you off the dreamland real quick

and he actually watched you fall asleep and made sure you were asleep before he pulled out his laptop to work on an assignment that was due the next day

when you woke up the next morning, you felt something cold and hard prod your back and you panicked for a moment before realising it was his laptop

and you heard the shower running so you knew it was mark going through his morning routine

but then you thought.... did he even sleep?

when he hopped out of the bathroom clad in same the clothes he wore the night before, he was still drying his hair with a towel

and his face was strew with exhaustion

but as soon as he saw you sitting groggily on the edge of your bed, his face lit up and he strode over to kiss the top of your head

“mark, did you even sleep?”

“nope, but i’m off again, i’ve got to hand in my assignment! i’ll see you for lunch?”

“wait what assignment?? did you need help on it?”

“nope, i got it done last night! thanks for letting me crash.”

before you could stop him, he pressed a hasty kiss on your lips before grabbing his laptop and bag and rushed out the door

and you sigh because

this was how dating mark lee, the campus dj, was like.

anyway

now, you guys were just a few days away from finishing the semester’s classes

and this was your last semester... given if you’ll pass the exams lol

so it was kinda the last few days you’d be able to spend together, on campus.

summer was coming

and the sun was so bright these days, it cleared the skies

no rain, none at all

which was not entirely Great because rainy days helped you study... and rainy days also meant more people tuned in on the campus radio

which meant

mark was kinda jobless today

which ALSO meant!!!

you could finally spend a whole day with him.

but, oh man...

when he called you around 11pm the night before, he was also checking his email and ... accidentally forgot that he had another assignment due at 8am the following morning

guess who didn’t get any sleep at all again!!!

your heart hurt seeing him work so hard

but somehow he convinced you to go to sleep first and not stay up to help him

he still got the assignment in on time because hes mark lee

so when you guys sat on the lawn in the middle of campus just like any typical college couple would on a nice sunny day, mark lay his head on your lap and used one of your textbooks to shield his eyes from the sun

and you were using his laptop to compile your notes from the semester, and also to help him tidy up his

“hey baby...?”

“hmm?”

you waited for mark to continue his sentence but he went silent

“mark, what?”

“mark-”

you lifted your textbook from his face only to find that he had fallen asleep.

his lips were slightly parted and he was snoring really quietly, and his fingers were in loose fists as they rested on his belly.

dont deny but you busted the biggest uwu didnt you

ofc like

you couldn’t possibly waste this precious photo opportunity but

your phone was just slightly out of reach rip

so when you grappled for it, mark woke up in an instant

he sat up real quick, and a tuft of his hair was sticking up messily.

“oh no, i didnt mean to-”

“so d’you wonder why we’re all clouds?”

you stared at each other with equally as confused frowns lol

like mark was actually

hella confused

but your expression literally read wtf

he didn’t really notice but instead yawned and held his arm out to you

and you move closer to him, snuggling into his side as he slowly lays the both of you down again, in a way so you could use his arm as a pillow.

the sun was really really bright so y’all lay there with your eyes squished shut

“we’re all just clouds, aren’t we?”

his serious question was met by your quiet scoff

“no, no, i’m for real. y’know how everything we do are for exams. exams this, assignments that... gpa... scores.. grades... deadlines... those kinda things. they turn us into clouds.”

“that is one extremely weird way to describe college students, mark.”

“no, baby, but... it’s accurate, isn’t it? the anxiety, stress, exhaustion... and just about everything we do turn us all into little clouds.”

“do elaborate, cause i don’t get why you’re comparing us to condensed water vapour.”

mark chuckled a little, and you roll your eyes figuratively, keeping your eyes tightly shut to shield it from the unforgiving sun.

"actually, never mind, it sounded way better in my head.”

at that point you were getting up to lie on your side

he turned his head and squinted at you as you gently placed a hand on his chest

"are you writing lyrics again?”

he hummed quietly and you shift a few inches closer to him.

“show me. i want to read those lyrics, no matter how dumb you think they are.”

“they’re not ready yet.”

“if you’re writing about anxiety, i can be your muse.”

“no way, you’re not a cloud. you’re a sunflower.”

he wrote lyrics all the time and most of the time he’d write them about you

sometimes he’d let you read them, sometimes he kept them to himself

and you’d catch him grinning idiotically over some lyric he wrote some time ago

so when he goes to sleep you would sneak a peak at it and it’s basically a love letter to first-date-you, or a diary entry of how he feels every time he sends u home from a date or from school but its so dreamy and seems unreal but you kNOW ITS REAL!!

bc u were there!!

anyway

idk what came over you but you slung an arm around his torso and rested your head against his shoulder and he let out a quiet little puff of breath

you would think he’s pretty ok with skinship since y’all been together for so long

but yeah it was chill and okay and he’d be super clingy at home but when y’all were in public

man,,, he got so flustered and nervous

u just wanted to cuddle lol but he suddenly turned into a robot

the sun made everything seem slow and warm and sluggish which was pretty okay with you because you were finally spending time with mark!!!

and he was soft and squishy and a little bit awkward but so so so cute so u rly just wanted the moment to last longer

but no

just as u were about to drift off a Shadow™ loomed over u both

mark probably fell asleep again tbh

u heard a rly loud camera go CLICK and distinct voices whisper-yelling at each other

and there was a struggle

and the struggle ended with a Butt falling onto mark’s other shoulder

“MARK IM SO SORRY RENJUN PUSHED ME”

“NO YOU STINK YOU FELL BY YOURSELF”

“oh hey guys shut up the photo turned out alright”

“JENO SHUT UP THEY’RE RIGHT THERE”

mark was sitting up and you fussed over his other shoulder which was attacked by jaemin’s butt

and although he was so .. unfortunately.. woken up from his nap he was grinning and squinting up at his squabbling friends

and he chuckled as he watched u stand up and wrestle jeno for his phone to see the Photo

he was watching you chase chenle and renjun around the lawn, the two boys purposefully running slower to tease u

donghyuck sat down next to mark and put his head on his shoulder to mimic you from a few minutes ago

“oh you’re disgusting please go away.”

hyuck turned his head and batted his eyelashes up at mark who was still watching u with a dreamy smile

“you’re leaving soon, we just wanted to spend time with you before u abandon us”

mark laughed and told him he’s only graduating

but hyuck scowled and nudged mark with his elbow then gestured in your direction

“but you spend more time with her nowadays than you do with us”

mark let out a loud laugh and shook his head

“she’s my girlfriend.”

“so?”

“she’s my lover.”

“so??”

“she’s... everything to me.”

jisung, who was listening, gagged and haechan slapped mark’s tummy while hollering

and then u look over at them from the other side of the lawn, wondering why mark was lying on the floor again and why the other dreamies were surrounding him in a cultish circle

jeno and jaemin turned to face you with big chummy smiles on their faces and together they made heart arms at u

some other people on the lawn were beginning to stare and so u hide behind chenle bc renjun is too tiny

then jisung must’ve texted their group chat because renjun cackles and leads you back to the group

and u notice how bright mark’s face was which makes u blush like crazy as well

and even though stress from school, work and everything in general, was making u feel like a big and heavy raincloud

one look at mark lee made u feel like sunflowers and daisies

it totally didn’t help that when he’d look at you, the corners of his eyes would crinkle ever so slightly, and his eyes would shine with genuine adoration

and his cute little lips would stretch into the widest grin

uwu

and u bet the next batch of lyrics he gonna write is gonna be about you again!!

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dreamca7cher · 6 years

Text

Dreamcatcher Dream of US in LA Fanmeet write-up

Hello friends! I have enjoyed reading fanmeet write-ups from others in the past, so I figured that those who weren’t able to go might like to give this a read. *Disclaimer* this is ridiculously long, It was actually about twice as long before I condensed and edited. I’ve had a week now to supplement my memory with the fancams and photos that have been trickling out, but I do apologize if I’ve misremembered or left anything out.

I basically jumped at the chance to attend kcon as soon as I read that Dreamcatcher would be there. I was lucky to get some good P1 seats with 2 other kpop-loving friends. At first I was a little bummed that DC was billed as a special guest, which meant they would not be doing any official kcon “artist engagement” activities like hi-touch. But then news of their solo LA fan meeting was announced and I was absolutely ecstatic. It just so happened that my flight was scheduled to arrive early enough Friday to make it to the fanmeet venue just in time. On the day tickets were to go on sale, I barely got anything done at work and watched my computer clock like a hawk, refreshing the site every millisecond, ten seconds before ticket sales opened. Fortunately, I was lucky to secure one of the 125 seated spots. This would be my first in-person experience of any kind concerning kpop, so I was insanely excited and simultaneously nervous af.

I arrived at the venue about 15 minutes before it was scheduled to start and saw a decent line around this real hole-in-the-wall looking place. The people in line said it was for the seated spots, which surprised me. I thought there would be more standing than seated positions, but it turns out there were only maybe 10-15 people standing. It was hot as balls out there, and we were standing directly in the sun so we were all quickly drenched in sweat. I learned later that the girls had actually arrived earlier in a black van in front of the venue. I was probably still in transit at that time, but it must have been nice for the fans already standing in line to get that first glimpse of them! When we finally made it inside, the staff checked our names off a list and we were able to sign a giant American flag that the girls would hold later for a group picture. The fans who did not bring their own album to be signed were given a small poster. It was basically free for all seating, I was on the far right side on the last row but no matter – the venue was small enough to see everything clearly. As soon as I sat down I realized either the A/C wasn’t on.. or there was none at all. There were a few floor fans pointed at the stage, but I felt bad for the girls once they entered and I saw they were wearing sorta heavy looking tops L There was a slightly raised wooden stage in the front and a long table for them to sit at. Two tall speakers flanked the stage, but the music later wasn’t too loud. The crowd was ethnically diverse and probably around a 50%-50% gender split, proving Dreamcatcher’s wide appeal to all sorts of fans. It was however a much older crowd than the average makeup of the kcon attendees, as this was not a boy group.

The girls soon entered, which was such a surreal moment. It was almost like I couldn’t believe they were real people ya know? Having only watched them on video, it’s more like you’re watching a fictional movie sometimes. I know it’s cliché, but they really are sooo much prettier in person. I think they did look a little tired and/or nervous, but their smiles were illuminating and they did little fan service gestures whenever possible. They did their standard introduction with JiU speaking the most as leader, with small remarks like how hot it was and that it was nice to meet all of us. I thought Yoohyeon would speak the most, but she was probably nervous to use her English with us. The event went straight into the fan-signing with rows lining up one by one while the crowd was free to take pictures/videos. There are much better quality videos out there from the front, but I’ll post my crappy phone videos in case anyone wants to see from the right-hand perspective. I apologize for any shaking, as tripods were not allowed. The signing was fairly quick, everyone had just about enough time for each of the girls to sign their album or poster and maybe exchange a sentence or two.

I was one of like the last 4 people to go since I was at the back, and by this point my adrenaline was going crazy. I’ve never fainted before, but if there would be a time to, then that would be it. I didn’t know if this was strictly allowed, but I did see a few fans high five the members. I refrained however because then that would mean I could never wash that hand (j/k I didn’t want any chance of getting kicked out). So I decided to stick to a compliment or two which I had gone over in my head again and again for a few days prior. I wrote down a longer version of what I was going to say on some notes, since that’s all we were allowed to gift the girls. I had also decided to write my notes on origami paper of their favorite colors and fold my notes into paper cranes to stand out, because I am a crazy person. The research (I got their favorite colors from an interview which I’ll post later), the writing, and the folding all took much long than I anticipated which resulted in me only getting 1 hour of sleep Thursday night before my early flight. So this all culminated in a peak state of nervousness. All too soon it was my turn! I won’t go into what exactly I said or what was in my notes, it was just basically a compliment or encouragement. SuA was first, she waved and said hi as I approached. She was consistently the most hyper and playful that day, possibly because it was her birthday. She seemed really genuine too, and seemed the most relaxed I think. Handong was second, she was predictably shy, but was very appreciative of the crane and said it was cute. Her signature is the most unique too. I wrote some really crappy Chinese in my note that I hope she could read haha.. Next was Siyeon, she looked a bit tired, but she was hella pulling off the dark concept look with her black hair and colored contacts. She also spoke a lot of English that day, even if it wasn’t complete sentences like Yoohyeon. I think previous reports are accurate too, she was very quirky with her mannerisms. JiU was in the middle, and was positively glowing :O she was smiling pretty much the whole time and I think even picked up the crane and flapped it around a little adorably. It was hard not to grin widely as well the whole time. Idk JiU just has this like unlimited energy that shines no matter how hot or tired she was. I pictured her as like a Super Saiyan or something with her positive aura. Yoohyeon was next and also looked a little tired. But she said a few things in English to me, and had an absolutely gorgeous smile. I haven’t 100% settled on a bias yet, but girl makes it hard to not choose her. Gahyeon was 6th and actually was saying a lot of things in English. She also seemed to like the crane a lot and has a really cute smile. Dami was last, and was so cool and reserved. She’s really good at the appreciative head nod, no wonder she seemed to be the most popular that day. I forgot to tell all of them that the cranes were actually notes they could unfold and read, I may have told 2-3 of them but I’m not sure if they understood. Ah well. The whole signing probably only lasted a couple minutes, but seeing them up close and actually chatting with them is something I will never forget. After the staff also got their signatures, they moved the big table so the girls could perform.

First up was You and I, and boy was it a sight to behold in person. Their movements were so sharp and energetic, and it’s probably my favorite choreography of any kpop song. They just lip-synced which is ok, since it let me focus on the dance. Dami’s baton reveal probably got the loudest cheer, it was really awesome to see up close, and she does it so nonchalantly. Siyeon’s scarf throw also got a loud cheer. SuA definitely had the most powerful dancing, as expected. I didn’t know all the fanchants, but the other InSomnias obliged well. The girls sprinkled in little hearts and waves to the audience throughout the performance. Right after, they performed Full Moon, which was a very nice gift to the American InSomnias :] The chest pumping part probably had the loudest cheers, as it was the fiercest part of the choreo. During Dami’s solo rap part, she came up real close and waved to everyone, which also brought lots of cheers. The part where SuA and Handong get dragged across the floor was also popular for some reason. I haven’t watched as many fancams of Full Moon, but I really like the choreo, especially Siyeon’s parts. She rules that performance with her movements and expressions.

After the performance, the girls played a question and answer game from a board made up of stick notes that the crowd had written earlier (via translator). The first question I think was for SuA to do a solo funny dance. She asked “no music?” and Siyeon tried to do beatboxing and failed hard hahaha. So Yoohyeon sang to and SuA did a short hilarious dance to Dame Tu Cosita before collapsing in embarrassment. It was so adorable XD the 2nd question was what was the girls favorite Dreamcatcher song. SuA said Mayday, and sang her part a bit. The next question was “what’s it like performing for fans who don’t speak Korean and understand the lyrics?” Handong said that there was nonetheless a connection and that she was surprised and thankful that fans still sing along to the songs. SuA also said we felt like family, sister, brother, mother, father.. lol. The next question was what is your favorite choreography/point move? JiU said she likes the “baby you and I” part of You and I, and Yoohyeon likes the Chase Me part where they grab their hair lol. SuA likes the kiss blowing parts, and Siyeon likes when the members are dragged in Full Moon (probably because it’s not her being dragged haha). Then there was a question about superpowers, and Gahyeon said teleportation and JiU said she never wanted to get tired so she could always meet her fans, like the perfect leader she is. Siyeon said “you already do that” lol. Then Dami was asked how the baton worked, which I’m sure we all have always wondered. It’s basically like a spring-loaded telescoping thing held by a cap. Super cool, and got a resounding applause. Next was one of the more anticipated questions “which member would you marry?” and SuA immediately stood up lol. Siyeon took the mic and said JiU, because she makes really cute noises when she sleeps, revealing her creeper status lolol. Siyeon asked “will you marry me” and JiU said “oooh, yes” lmao. The next question was who has the best legs, to which Yoohyeon crossed her legs expectantly. But then she said she thought Handong has the best legs and asked her to stand up, which she did! Doing some model poses for us, very uncharacteristically ^^ JiU also said Handong has the straightest legs. Then Dami was asked to do some aegyo! Haha poor Dami, she chose to say “hi, nice to meet you, thank you” very adorably. The girls were then asked what songs they listen to in their personal time. SuA is currently obsessed with This is America and did the iconic gun pose lol. Siyeon likes Ariana Grande, and sang some No Tears Left to Cry. They were then asked what artists they want to collaborate with, and Yoohyeon said Day6 which got a big cheer. I also love Day6, and that would be such a match made in heaven! She also beautifully sang a little bit of Letting Go. Siyeon said she wanted to cover Sean Mendes Treat You Better and SuA wanted to do a Taylor Swift song. They were asked about actors they want to meet in LA, and they said the Avengers lol. I think they visited Hollywood Boulevard and said they kinda felt like they met them because there were people dressed up in costumes. Gahyeon also wanted to meet Daniel Henney because he lives in LA. Then JiU said I want to meet my fans with this huge dorky smile lol. The next question was about any future America tour plans, and JiU said of course, and asked us to visit them again next time. They were then asked who their other favorite kpop group was, and JiU said Red Velvet. Yoohyeon asked if she could dance a little bit, so JiU cutely danced to Bad Boy briefly. Siyeon also said KARD. They were asked what their favorite part of LA was, and SuA said she really liked In-N-Out burger and that it was yummy, specifically combo #3 lol. She also wanted to ride rides at Santa Monica and swim, to which Siyeon reminded her that she can’t swim lmao. The last question was about their favorite quotes. Dami’s motto is “in life there are no answers, so do what makes you happy”. JiU said “let’s live happy”, which she definitely exudes all the time ^^. Also that we were all beautiful and smart enough, so to live a happy life. Yoohyeon said that her mom always said to her “if you have a dream, imagine it will happen, and it will be”. Lastly, the girls took a group photo with all three of the sections, holding the American flag we signed earlier. JiU closed out with thanks and a promise they would see us again. SuA said thank you for celebrating my birthday, and Handong said thank you for your passion. Then the staff brought out a birthday cake and we surprised SuA by singing happy birthday. She looked so happy the entire time, and even did a little moonwalk haha. Dami did one last tour around the crowd waving to everyone, and that was it.

And the rest of the weekend was downhill! J/k the kcon stages were amazing, and I saw them again multiple times at the convention, but the fanmeet was of course the highlight of the trip. As my first in-person kpop experience, this will definitely be hard to top. I vaguely wondered before the fanmeet if finally meeting them in person would diminish my perfect image of them in my head, but actually the opposite is true. Now they feel like real people I know, which just makes me like them even more. I was also very proud of the American InSomnias, everyone was respectful, there were no crazy incidents, no one had to be thrown out by security, it just went as smooth as can be. I also want to thank 7-dreamers for organizing this whole thing, and for the smooth operation. I could talk forever about my experiences, but I will end it here. Maybe I’ll do a write-up of the convention and concert if anyone’s interested? Thanks for reading!

#dreamcatcher #dream of US in LA #fan account #write-up #fanmeet #text #this took me like a week to write can you tell?#fav

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littlecafe · 3 years

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my suband thoughts pt. 2

(me trying to make this post for the 3rd time now) i realized i wrote like a 10 page dissertation instead and i refuse to post all that so i’m just going to copy over a few and keep the rest in drafts for when i want to reference them later

i will include results and elimination spoilers in this post so if you want to avoid those then don’t read this one...i try to keep things spoiler free but i just. have things to say about the results specific to round 2 :-)

jtbc finally striking down accounts on twitter and instagram for posting suband content....i think tumblr is safe bc this website is dead so i’ll continue posting i guess??? they haven’t done anything to that one youtube that’s been posting all the performance videos too so who knows

should i start with more contestant based random thoughts first

i was scammed by jtbc teaser editor bc they used a clip of jeongho “singing” into the mic in their preview and i waited 2 whole episodes (his team performed last in round 2) for me to find out it was a autotuned mic and a vocoder HELP MEEEE SAKJFDSKF at that point literally i could only laugh

but he plays contrabass? he actually majored in contrabass? or maybe that was his old major, he’s still in school atm since wonsang said they go to the same one but he had educational training on it which is really cool

wait a minute......now that i think about it, that same teaser clip also spoiled the result of yeji winning bc they showed us that she was sitting in the waiting room during eliminations even though they haven’t performed yet (which means we knew her team won AND they already showed us all the matchups before so we also knew who she beat) WHO WAS EDITING THIS LMAO and it wasn’t even a accidental leak like she was sitting in the background, it was literally her reaction as the main focus and everything omg

hwang inkyu hello??? he’s movning’s bassist and he has a combined total of maybe 3 lines of airtime so far i wish he’d speak more bc i was so scared he’d get his ass kicked off the show bc he wouldn’t have been able to make a lasting impression but thank god hwanglin picked him up and seems like he’s going to be moving on with his team in the next round too (good for them the stage was so good i wanted to post it but haven’t yet..)

i used to really like movning’s music but their music direction went into a style i don’t listen to much so i haven’t checked into them recently, tbh i didn’t even know they auditioned until i looked at the full list of contestants later because their stage was cut out and only inkyu made it in

park dawool and hwang hyunjo both have galaxy brains and i would trust them with my life - yea i will not elaborate much because this post is already long even after i shortened it bc i talk too much but hyunjo making entire ppt slides? to present her theories and ideas? yea she’s absolutely ready for everything, for real she’s carrying her teams to victory

leenzy’s 2nd round team was so strong that i thought she got to pick really early (since they showed us all the team formations before airing the actual performances with the behinds for pickings and stuff) but she was actually the 2nd to last pair?? so all that’s left is her > the guy she chose to be her opponent, and then the poor guy that gets to pick from the remaining 6 or so and the final team of the ones unchosen

i was really shocked to find out no one wanted nakyung and ahkyung when i thought they were some of the best :-( i really still can’t tell if the mixing of male and female was a good idea esp since it was so skewed male in the first place ugh in round 2 it seems like the girls are getting shafted???

out of the 6 girls (that can be picked since 3 are frontmen!), 3 of them were not picked up until basically the very end when you don’t really have many choices left...nakyung (guitar), ahkyung (drums), and sujin (vocals)...and they’re all really good?? sujin ended up on the second to last team (basically the last team if we’re being honest since the actual last team is sadly the band of leftovers) and i just don’t understand why they weren’t picked up earlier...i can understand sometimes vocalists can get shafted because the show starts out with a loooot of vocalists so it’s hard to find a place for all of them but guitar? drums? u can definitely pick them...there’s literally only 7 or so drummers to begin with and one has been glued to crackshot the entire time

before the season started i was already terrified that the girls might get shafted because jtbc didn’t want girls auditioning in the first place but it was fine in the first round but now the second round made me think about that again.....it’s worse when they spin the whole “yes!! all girl band!! girl power!!!” when the reality was they weren’t picked up this whole time. annoying.

but this blame has to be shouldered by jtbc bc they wanted to keep it all boys but bc of public reactions (rightfully so) they decided to let female contestants audition but then it turned out that they barely pass any female contestants so it’s still terrible?!! i’ll just write this up that teams are still trying to figure themselves out and work with different people for now....maybe i’m just worried for nothing

not to absolutely curse myself but i think most of my favorites might make it at least to round 4 and i feel like a decent amount will make it to semis so haha /knock on wood but i really hope this stays true...i just need nokdu to continue taking care of hyunsang and make city pop bops together because the judges seem to like that so far

i’m just worried about demian....the judges keep saying he’s improved so much but why do i feel like they will cut him as soon as they need to eliminate more people.....i’m not as worried about round 3 (unless his team falls on their face) but round 4 is where i’m really scared...it’s the last round before the real deal and in season 1 the round 4 eliminations hurt so bad...they cut like 9 people or something

i mean he has his own career as a soloist so he doesn’t need a band like some of the other contestants but i think he really enjoys being in a team with others, honestly i don’t even know if his company would allow for him to be in a side band? even if he were to make it? like mone made it but all their members had solo careers and with the rose and woosung having problems it must be way they just decided to stop after the show unlike the other semis teams purple rain, lucy (they did have a vocalist change since joohyuk stayed with his current band gift), aftermoon (but i guess their dj dropped out i don’t know what happend with dpole??), and of course the winners hoppipolla all continued making music together under the same name

honestly if he makes it past the judges i don’t even know if the public would vote for him, atm his popularity with the public seems nonexistent? lol but to be fair, for most contestants it’s like that, but i do wish he’d become more popular

actually should i be more worried for haeun...she plays classic guitar and usually they don’t like classic leaning instruments but she showed she can sing so i hope she gets to stay

there’s danny too but i think i have given up on him making it until the end, the only way is if he manages to stay on teams that win so he’ll never be up for elimination but i feel like they’re out to get him TT_TT

but i’ve condensed my solid favorites to just demian, yeji, haeun, and jeongho...maybe i’ll pick a 5th eventually but i still like everyone i put in my first post! i really want hyunsang to make it far though bc the vibraphone brings me so much joy so he can be honorary 5th for now

about eliminations though, right now the judges have eliminated less than last season which is odd for jtbc because i feel they keep to their formats almost exactly so now i’m just ?????? if there’s still more people currently....what is going to happen? are they going to make the judges cut more during rounds 3 and 4? or they trying to equalize the semifinals teams since last year some teams had 4 people while others had 5? are they going to do the unthinkable and give us more rounds or semifinal teams? (i wish) anyways kinda scared to see what round 3 eliminations bring now...

the actual eliminations have been mostly as expected for me, still sad but i guess since i sensed it coming it became more a feeling of like “it couldn’t be helped” and also early eliminations hurt less in general because you had less time to get to know the contestants which is why i’d rather they just eliminate now than later if they were going to do it anyways like pls spare me the pain (but this is selfish and contestants probably want to stay as long as possible)

one surprising one was ludi??? he’s a dj but he’s literally done nothing wrong so far i was just wtf??!! when they eliminated him like it felt out of nowhere.....i feel like djs have so much potential on this show because of all the sounds they have access too but i guess the judges aren’t found of edm noise

also demian nation we rise at dawn, when he said “i’m not okay” like- this song really meant a lot to him too i hate thisssss

PLS I JUST WANT HIM TO WIN ONCE SO BADLY but next time, thanks to kfans detective work on the teaser, it looks like junseo (the smol piano child) picked him and jeongho to be on his team (maybe there’s a 4th member too??) and i am putting my faith into that team now pls help my winless boys

the fact that jeongho is winless is almost funny to me because it’s also obvious he’s a judges favorite but i mean that doesn’t translate to wins just i’m pretty sure he’ll make it to the end regardless (like bohoon the vocalist of purple rain lost all 3 /technically all 4/ rounds and still made it), he plays bass and no bassist has ever been eliminated on the show yet so cheers to that

round 4 was special since they switched over to a number format and no band versus band i don’t remember if the team with the top points were immune to elimination or not (or maybe just an unwritten rule bc why the heck would you do that to them after giving them the best score) but the rest of the teams were fair game - which is exactly why this elimination round is the scariest and not good for my heart especially after i had spent weeks watching them sing and have fun..........

ok now to complain about the judges AGAIN: why are the judges thoughts on what they want in a band so damn similar anyway?

i mentioned this in my first post already about how i dislike the judging atmosphere

but now i actually see it...in the numbers...like s1 there was a bit more taste diversity within the judges but now i feel like i’m seeing a lot of 4:1 or 5:0 scores so i went to see the breakdown out of the 15 stages we had so far

5:0 score - 6

4:1 score - 7

3:2 score - 2

compared to s1 (out of 14 only because they edited out one pair of battles completely so we never knew their score...)

5:0 score - 2

4:1 score - 6

3:2 score - 6

looking at that...it makes me feel sad....especially in the early 2 rounds it must be demoralizing to keep getting met with 5:0 loss and to be very honest and in s1 the number of 5:0 did increase in round 3 but that was when more teams started to figure themselves out so it makes sense that some would start pulling ahead

i’m really tired of listening to the judges agreeing with each other all the time, it makes it seem like the vision they have for the band was already set from day 1 unlike in s1 where everyone went in with no expectations because it was a brand new program, zero expectations, zero fans, just some kids wanting to make music and that’s what it should be like....music shouldn’t be limiting like this, the judges seem a little closed minded and now i’m 100% sure they have certain band styles in mind (i don’t know if it’s the judges only or if it’s jtbc producers too that’s causing this)

and i see other ifans saying this exact same thing on twitter now too so it’s not just me that picked up on this so safe to say we can’t all be extremely sensitive right

like the contradictory comments -

dongheon’s 2nd round team was told their original song was great and lovely but they brought nothing new to the table and that it was too standard, “just like any other rock/rock ballad song” when i thought the leenzy’s team (the one they went up against) also had a pretty standard? pop rock song? absolutely nothing wrong with it either, even the judges said that the song was not complicated at all but complimented them on their “band feel” so i guess as long as they enjoyed the vibe of the team and it suited the type of band style they have in mind it’s suddenly fine to make a simple song

i’m not saying her song was worse than his (i enjoyed both and seeing original songs performed make me very happy), i’m just a little confused at the judges comments for them both especially when one performed after the other, you really don’t see the bias in your words?

dawool was told his song composition in the first stage was a little too...nuanced(?) and that they wish he could just keep thing simpler even though he thought he toned down already and kept things simple, so round 2 he decided to just work with someone that makes mainstream music (davii) to fulfil what the judges want

seulong’s 2nd round team decided to go heavier on the instrumental side because they figured they didn’t want to go head to head with one of the favorite vocalists of the show (sorry yeji, ur my queen but ur also the judges’ queen too :---( ) but got criticized for a similar reason...yoo heeyeol saying that their composition was “fun for the brain” but if he were thinking about the general public he doesn’t think they would like this type of music, literally saying that the general public do not have the music knowledge or brain capacity to understand all the skill based playing going on musically and so won’t enjoy it because it wouldn’t appeal to their hearts................(ok sure call us dumb it’s true but won’t appeal to our hearts? music can sound intricate and fun? we can enjoy some funky strings guitar riffs without actually knowing all the details ya know)

they also kept telling them (seulong’s team) “oh i loved this” “i wish there was a band like this” “very cool” and gave them no votes??? if you wish a band like this exist then why? would? you? not? vote? for them??? like i can’t tell if those were consolation comments or what

man judges rant ended up being long asf and i’m usually not affected by them and what they say but i was already feeling an odd vibe from the beginning and now seeing 5:0 after 5:0 after 5:0 really did it for me

overall, a not very fun post to read through it’s just more ranting than anything....i’m dying for a big pop off performance so i can successfully gauge the public opinion so far but i’ll refrain from posting my guess until at least the end of round 3, also i believe the team vibe usually outweighs solo popularity but we don’t know any teams yet (at least i can’t guess anyone yet like i could in s1) so we will still have to see!!

i’m pretty sure only i would look and read through these long ass posts of mine lol but if anyone makes it this far i hope you enjoy my crazy ramblings and see you in my suband thoughts pt.3

#me: copy over a few / the read more in question: still 50 pages long WHAT AM I DOING WRONG #i will just blame the pictures to elongating this post sajkhdsf #abbreviating so this post hopefully won't be in anyone's tags i hate tumblr tagging system #this is literally just me ranting about the judges for half of the post #i'm usually indifferent towards judging panel but compared to s1 this year's is soooo off lmao i hate it actually #tea talks

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sugirandom · 7 years

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365 days of writing: day 225

Day 225: exhausting company

Good evening, this morning I was watching some videos on youtube and I got a call from mom and stepdad, they asked me if I wanted to go to breakfast and see a movie with them. I ended up agreeing to do it even though they were going to see The Dark Tower and I wasn’t really interested in seeing that. First we went to breakfast and it was fine but my stomach ended up getting upset and mom acted like I did it on purpose since I’ve told her before that almost every time I eat at Bob Evan’s my stomach gets upset. I was pretty upset with her because I would never do something like that and she just went off for a while about how she tries so hard to do something I’ll enjoy or whatever. I told her to stop but she wouldn’t stop until my stepdad told her to stop. The ride to the cinema wasn’t too great because the bumpy road made my stomach feel more nauseous. I didn’t get any popcorn at the movies and just had some water to drink.

The movie itself was fairly good, I mean coming from someone who hasn’t read the book series it was fine but my parents said they obviously left a lot out since they condensed seven or eight books into an hour and a half movie. I had some issues with certain parts, the kid’s parents couldn’t act worth crap and the pacing seemed odd in parts but I guess the action was fine and visually it was done well but I was left with a feeling of ‘mehh’. It didn’t help that mom kept talking the whole time and well she was talking the whole day anyway. We got lunch at a Korean place after the movie but I was pretty tired out at that point and of course mom and stepdad felt the need to stop for icecream afterwards. I didn’t want any so I waited for them in the car. I was so worn out by mom and she still felt the need to interact with me about stupid stuff like showing me her big cup of ice cream and exclaiming “Look, this is a small!” and then acting like there was something wrong with me when I reacted in a less than enthusiastic way.

I got home at 3PM and I still feel pretty exhausted. All I’ve really done so far is watch some more youtube videos since I’m pretty behind on them. Poppy and I will probably cook dinner in about a half hour or so but I’m not sure what we’ll do after that. I know she wants us to pack for our trip but I’m not sure if I’m up to it tonight or not. I wish being around my parents wasn’t so draining on me but it really is and they’re just so disrespectful with certain things…like how it’s disrespectful of me to ask them not to talk during a movie because it’s ruining the experience for them. Never mind my experience being ruined because even if you’re whispering I can hear it very clearly because I’ve got hyperacusis for crying out loud! That’s not meant to be a pun… I just…really was fighting using a big curse word that I rarely write…if I’ve ever written it lol. Anyway, I’m tired so that’s all for this today. No DBZ tonight but maybe tomorrow if I have time before my best bro comes over because I think I’m getting close to the episode where Vegeta and Nappa arrive on Earth…. To give you an idea of how tired I am… I wrote Begeta and it took me a minute for it to register.

#365 days of writing #day 225 #Sugi writes

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lululawrence · 5 years

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Hi, I was wondering if I could ask you about like, how often you write, and how much you write when you write. I always look at your writing and im like dammmn lulu is so well written and writes so much and I was just wondering how you manage to get it done and if you have any tips and advice for making the time and getting the writing done?

Hi!! I meant to answer this while I had my laptop out earlier today and forgot so now you get my likely very untidy phone type up of my thoughts. Apologies in advance hehe

So how often I write! It depends on the time of year. Usually once school is in session I write at least 4-5 times a week. It’s sometimes only fifteen minutes here and thirty minutes there, but I do try to get at least two or three good hour+ writing sessions in a week just because I emotionally and mentally do better with that and with the kids in school I have that opportunity more often. Once November comes along I write pretty much every single day because of nanowrimo. November is also the start of what I call my anxious season and writing is a BIG coping mechanism for me, so i write pretty much daily all the way until the anxious season is over. (Sometimes that’s mid January, sometimes that’s April. It varies.) then it goes back down to about 3-4 times a week until summer break and at that point who the hell knows??? I do get at least one or two good writing sessions in each week generally during that time though.

This is all going to be basically going out the window this winter though with baby #3 coming in January so keep tuned on that. Hahaha!

As for how much I write, it depends on a lot of factors. What I’m writing, how much time I have, what deadlines I’m working with, what my mood and focus level is like that day, how well I’ve been sleeping, etc etc etc. generally speaking I don’t sit down and tell myself how many words I wanna write. I might have a goal of “I want to finish this scene” or just “write as much as I can in the 20 minutes before I have to leave for appointment c” or whatever, but I don’t hold those in too high regard. If it happens it happens, and if not, maybe next time. The only reason I even know how much I write in one session or hour or whatever is because that’s how my writing support group chats are able to help cheer me on even if no one else is writing at the same time. I tell them my starting word count and when I’m checking back in, and then when I come back I give my end word count. If possible, I write for an hour at a time, so I come to know my usual hourly word count abilities etc. if I’m in a good vibe I can usually get anywhere from 1700 words an hour to 2200 words, but that obviously fluctuates.

ALSO. This isn’t how it’s always been. I used to do writing parties with writers far more experienced than me and they’d get numbers like I just gave you while I was struggling to write 800 words in that same time frame. I sent think I would ever get higher. But I wasn’t writing as frequently, I hadn’t learned the best writing practices for myself yet, I hadn’t found my writing groove, you know? I was still learning and growing and getting to where I am now, five years after I started. And I’m being serious right now, the comic sans trick works. Lol

As for how I get it done, it’s like i said in the previous paragraph. I learned what works best for me in loads of ways. Settings of where I’m writing plays a big part. I can write at home but I’ll be writing at least half speed that I would at the library or Starbucks. I write best in the afternoon but my other big writing groove time is between 7-10 pm generally speaking. I am HUGELY motivated by deadlines. If a fic doesn’t have an actual deadline, I have to make one up for it in my head or it won’t be written and if it is it’ll be so drawn out and I’ll drag my feet even if I wanna write it and love it and yeah. I also know I need to talk to people about my writing. I have to tell someone I’m doing it and have that feeling of reporting back to prove I did it cause I am a FUCKING LEO and I need other people to applaud me when I actually do what I set out to do. Haha all of these things combine and have been learned piece by piece for me over the years until I’ve gotten to where I am now. I was NOT this efficient before. I also did a stupid personal challenge of writing a birthday fic for every friend I was close enough to to know their birthdays one year which resulted in my writing over 42 fics in a single calendar year (I also had exchanges and other challenges I wrote for so there were hella deadlines and that taught me a lot about my writing limits, how fast I could write an entire fic, how to condense fics and ideas, and so on and so forth) and I felt like the insanity of that year opened every door and window for me writing wise. I feel like I can literally do anything I set out to do in fic writing now. I’ve also come to appreciate me writing fics for myself too though hahaha

SO. Tips!!! Keep going. Keep trying. Keep stretching and using those writing muscles and try new things. Find what techniques work for you. Is it motivation you’re lacking? Support? Rewards? Deadlines? Typing ability? Confidence? Figure out what you think is your biggest hurdle and try to rectify it. Try writing new and different things you haven’t tried before, even if they’re just drabbles. Just don’t let mental constraints of what you think you can and can’t do force you to stay in certain bounds because you learn from every experience and through time you’ll come to know how you work best as well. Keep swimming!

But also, keep reading. Reading gives me the biggest motivation. I love reading and giving comments to other writers who help entertain me and inspire me and cultivating relationships with other writers too. The writing community here in this fandom is SO deep and SO beautiful and loving and supportive. We are incredibly lucky and I love being a part of it. everyone here helps me keep going all the time and I love reading what they put out just as much as I love writing. So. I also recommend you continue reading as well. ☺️☺️

This is SO LONG and I apologize. I’d do a read more if I wasn’t on mobile. But I do hope you find this helpful or at the very least not boring!

What it all comes down to is this. Everyone’s process is different. Everyone’s speed is different. Part of the reason I can write so fast is I don’t edit as I go. I just. Don’t. I throw an entire sopping heap of messy writing at my betas and they clean it up and make it pretty. Others can’t work like that. They have to edit as they write which will naturally slow them down. So just also don’t compare yourself. You can always aim to improve, but in the end the numbers don’t matter outside of helping you attain your own personal goals.

Good luck!! You’re doing and gonna continue doing amazing things. I can feel it. ☺️😘😘😘😘😘

#thank you for being so nice!#im sorry i rambmed #rambled #but also its to be expected sk #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#writing stuff #personal #about me #long post #asks #anonymous #mine

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