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minnielvr · 8 months

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DIE FOR YOU - chapter 5 : "fym EYE happened"

y/n got out her seat and went out the two big doors and started walking to the bathroom. before she could make a right she felt a hand grab her wrist and push her against the wall. "hey cutie" hyunjin smirked and put his arm on the wall.

y/n quickly pushed his arm off and stepped behind him, "what the fuck hyunjin?"

"now now, no need to be mad. i just missed you" he played innocent

"and why do you miss me?" y/n crossed her arms and pursed her lips

"well, the other night at the party i felt something…but then you left" he pouted

"i dont know what you're talking about or what you felt but theres nothing between us. so drop it." she turned around and started to walk away.

hyunjin was all out of options at this point. why doesn't she want to talk to him? he had not choice but to to corner her again.

"y/n wait." he called out in his most desperate voice

y/n stopped in her tracks. why did he sound so desperate? but she was still skeptical. what if he just wants sex or something? so she continued to walk to the bathroom. leaving a confused hyunjin to stand there.

‿୨♡୧‿

hyunjin raked his hands through his bright red hair while walking back into the lecutre hall. what the fuck was that?

jisung took immediate notice of hyunjins sour attitude and whispered to him

"yo dude, whats wrong?"

"nothing. pay attention to ms choi." hyunjin wanted to be alone right now, so he packed up his stuff and left. leaving his friends confused.

while y/n was walking back to class from the bathroom she saw hyunjin walking out. why was he walking out? did class end already? so she decided to ask him.

"hey uhhh is class over?" she stopped him a few feet from the door.

hyunjin glared at her for a few seconds then responded no in a bitter tone. that made her even more confused, why is he walking out and why is he so mad?

while hyunjin was about to start walking away y/n made an impulsive decision to ask him what was wrong and why he walked out.

"hyunjin wait," she called out

he stopped in his tracks and turned around, hopeful she would feel sorry and apologize to him.

"what." he grumbled

"why're you walking out if class isn't over? did something happen?"

hyunjin was now officially pissed off. she turned him down and had the audacity to ask whats wrong? fine then.

"YOU happened y/n, thats why im walking out" then he turned around and left.

what the fuck?? y/n thought to herself.

───────────────────────────────

series masterlist • prev • next

the taglist is open!!! pls comment on this post or send an ask if u wld like to be added!!!

a/n : 3 IN ONE DAY WOW LOOK AT ME🔥🔥

taglist : @sunoo-bby @chili-crab0811 @sanriiolino @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @lolli4me @grayscorner @veedoesntknaur @jia-qian @cherryuqii @xrvrqs @abbiestearsricochet @k1t0 @escapetheash @lucktales @soulphoenix1618

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paimonial-rage · 1 year

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title game!

" in counts of 5 " (this was actually the placeholder title for chongyun's fic! i wld like to see what you'd do with it, hehe)

-- @milkstore

in counts of 5 - bennett [title ask game]

You wondered if they would banish you to the abyss if they found out you tricked Bennett into believing five was his lucky number. You would say you didn’t on purpose, but you knew that would be a flat out lie. It was premeditated, purposeful, and deliberate. You wouldn’t take it back even if you could.

You had been carrying on this facade for the past month. Every five days, you would drop hints to Bennett about a new place you just heard of. Coincidentally when he went, he would find treasure chests filled with slightly better gifts than usual. Money bags filled with a hundred mora instead of just one, ingredients from far off shores, an occasional artifact or two—anything your meager wage could afford. But it was worth it. The smile he'd have marching into Mondstadt those evenings filled your heart with warmth. Bennett deserved the world.

So it caught you by surprise on one such day that Bennett asked you to go adventuring with him. Before you could suggest the place you had set up, he offered one of his own. No matter how much you tried convincing him differently, he insisted on taking you to a few places that he could only describe as "awesome."

The first place was a bust. As he led you there, he described it as a beautiful waterfall that started up with the previous days’ rain. It fell from the top of the cliff a hundred feet before crashing into the rocks below. What he brought you to was a bare cliff face with cracked earth at its base. Not even a little pond was left behind.

The next place was a small domain that popped up at the base of Dragonspine. He scoped it out the day before and promised it was safe. The architecture inside was beautiful and inspired by the remains of the old city that could be found on the mountain. But much to his dismay, you both only lasted a minute inside. Somehow in the brief time he was gone, it became filled with traps, hillichurls, and abyss mages.

Your heart began to sink by the time he started leading you to the third place. This time, it was the peak of Starsnatch Cliff. Apparently the view from there on a sunny day was absolutely marvelous. And the walk up there definitely was sunny, but by the time you both reached the top, the clouds crowded in and rain began to fall.

And by the fourth time, dread filled your heart even more. He led you to an interesting area in the Thousand Wind Temple. But not even five minutes there, you both ended up getting caught in a trap, apparently the same one that caught him once before during the Windblume Festival. He mumbled with an embarrassed groan that the trap was supposed to have been dismantled. By the time some adventurers found you both, the sun was just beginning to set.

You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know what to say. As you followed him back down the road to Mondstadt, your heart grew heavier and heavier. You were too afraid to look at him. The magic you tried so hard to cast was finally gone. Would he figure out your hand in it? Would he continue to talk to you? Or would he avoid you out of embarrassment? He was too nice to yell at you, after all.

So when he began to speed up, your heart caught in your throat. Was he leaving you behind? You couldn't let him leave now! You had to apologize!

“Bennett, wait–”

“Ah, I knew it would still be there!” He exclaimed, his voice filled with excitement.

Your heart skipped a beat as he turned his gaze to you. Upon his lips was perhaps the sunniest smile you’ve ever seen him give. And when he took your hand, you could only follow along as he pulled you to the top of the hill.

There in the light of the setting sun was a sea of dandelions. The reds and oranges of the sky highlighted the seeds as they floated upon the breeze. And there past the cliff was the sun beginning its descent beneath the waters of the ocean. To call it beautiful was an understatement. It was a gift from the Anemo Archon. Did Bennett plan this?

When he noticed your shocked expression, he gave a bashful laugh while scratching the back of his head.

“Sorry I made you wait. This is the real thing I wanted to show you,” he admitted.

Your eyes went from him, to the sea of dandelions, to the sunset, then back to him, all the while gaping like a fish. He planned this? But his luck was terrible! Nothing ever turned his way! How could he even–

As if reading your thoughts, he grinned.

“Whenever it’s with you, five becomes my lucky number!” He explained brightly.

And as you dwelled on it, he was right. Four failures and one success. This was the fifth place he showed you. The magic didn’t disappear. Rather, was it real all along?

He nodded as if to confirm your thoughts.

The real lucky charm was you.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #bennett #bennett x reader #my writing #I DID MY BEST #I TRIED NOT TO EDIT IT TOO MUCH #sticking to the hour long writing rule is soooo hard aaughghageoijaweg #title ask game #this is still open btw!!!

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mintaffy · 1 year

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digimon survive week: day 7 - endings

@surviveweek

what sort of ending are you wishing for?

THIS ONE WAS VERY LAST MINUTE apologies for the downgrade in art but I thought it wld be funny to make it look like the TUYU song. Why’s Takuma’s hair like that also that is a nightmare to draw. I really like the endings of survive tbh. They can be so wildly different and it really just shows how much of a difference one child can make in the world.

#digimon survive #digimon survive week #survive week #takuma momotsuka #takuma momozuka #saoart

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celestie0 · 22 days

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Hello again! I really liked your post about the perfect date with kickoff!Gojo and I have a few comments to make!

I also live close to the sea and a lot of people surf, not just college students, so reading that Gojo practices this sport gives me a feeling of realism and warmth in my heart. I can imagine him getting out of the water tired after an afternoon of training and snuggling up to the reader, without worrying about getting her wet! Or him encouraging her to surf with him, and giving her some tips.

When it comes to dogs, I have a weird headcannon for no curses au!Satoru, which is that he's an animal lover. But only small animals, like small dogs or cats (especially cats), but he felt insecure around large dogs. Not because he had any trauma, but because he wasn't used to being around them. And I like to imagine that the reader has a big dog, like a German Shepherd, Husky or Saint Bernard, and Satoru, at first, is afraid to approach the reader and visit her house.

And there's also that question you answered about Gojo on a date at the museum, it's really funny. I'm a history student, so I thought it was hilarious how Satoru would react. I imagine the reader trying to explain something to him, and him not understanding a word of what she is saying.

Bye~ (Sorry if the note was too long, but I got carried away.)

hiii my lovely tysm for sending the ask in omg beach date w kickoff gojo has been living in my head rent free since 🤣

reading that Gojo practices this sport gives me a feeling of realism and warmth in my heart.

i’m so gladd aaa what a sweet thing to say 😭💕 n yesss it just feels so real in my head that he would have that hobby n tbh it’s so fun to think ab these little things that build his character away from the main storyline :”)

OMG PLS UR SO RIGHT his wetsuit’s all drenched n he wants to cuddle up w her on the beach after the surf but she’s chillin on the blanket w a book in her hand like get away from me you soaking wet barnacle ✋🏼😞 but she cuddles him in the end anyway ahha. also OMG kickoff reader wld be horrendous at surfing omg she’d never make fun of gojo ever again once she learns how fuckin hard it is 😭🤣

OMGGG i love the idea of kickoff reader having a big dog he’s scared of 🤣 she’s like hey do u wanna give my 160lb terrifying sharp canine teethed massive hindlegs bulldog named “princess” over here a treat? ☺️ n he’s standing ten feet away like🧍🏼……..sure

i love that he likes small dogs i feel like he would want a goldendoodle or something 😭😭

woowoww thats so cool you’re a history studentt :”) i think there’s such a sweet charm to museums i remember going on field trips to them for history classes in high school 😭 sm fun. wherever i go on vacation i always try to go to at least one local museum. and you’re sooo righhttt he has no clue about art history but i imagine kickoff reader is really into it (maybe she’s minoring in history? 🤔 hmm) and she tries her best to explain to him but he’s just zoning out 💀💀

DONT APOLOGIZE FOR GETTING CARRIED AWAY DEAR i do that all the time like i did just now 🤣 it means sm to me when u guys interact w the content i create i thank u sm for ur ask 🥺💕 i hope u have a wonderful day!!

#gojo so silly #silly boy #kickoff #asks

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imaginedrago-ss · 27 days

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ask game 18 9 38

18 do i believe in ghosts or aliens

dont believe in ghosts but aliens r definitly out there cmon even in our solar system theres probably life in europe

9 story abt my childhood

so every year in middle school when tge national olympiad was coming up da teachers wld let me skip religion class & music class & so on bc i had 2 do practice problems for da olympiad right so i ended up going 2 the "lab" which in our romanian school was this tiny room da size of a pantry taht didnt rven have a window it only fit 2 cupboards filled w chemical substances dead animals in jars and so on, & 1 desk where it was usually me, tgis other physics olympiad kid (u guys may know him as "my catholic friend"), & da lab assistant lady who wld show us pictures of her baby nephew on her phone it was a very nice vibe in there yk occasionally i was alone in taht room & id go on youtube on da school computer & play some green day id feel like tge biggest boss. anyway like i said i was very comfortable there szo 1 day when i was leaving i was saying goodbye 2 da substances & i got kinda close 2 tge sulphuric acid & the lab assistant lady said "hey dont touch that" so i picked it up & waved it thru tge air while i went 'yeag i definitly wont touch it fr" yk & her only reaction was "haha yeag good" & now i realize she wasnt looking at me & i shldve just put taht shit back but it was szuch a tiny room i was certain she was seeing me and was in on the bit so i just kinda left w it. & in da next class my deskmate said smth stupid i dont even remember but i went "bro i will kill myself right here right now" & i dramatically took out da sulphuric acid container from my bag and took the lid off & toasted it 2 da deskmate and was preparing 2 drink i was actually ready 2 drink some 2c what happens but da teacher saw & i got in sm trouble lmao i had 2 apologize 2 da school principal in front of my mom. & tge moral of the story is mayber i was a prep but i was never a poser fr

38 favourite song atm

youtube

tgis 1 it makes me feel very smart bc now i understand all da words when at le start of tjis year tge only thing i cld say in hebrew was shalom

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nerice · 6 months

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Hello hello on this fine day I want to ask what the seed in the seed arc stand for? A literal botanical seed? A seed more in a metaphorical way? A third more sinister thing?

lore ask anon i love u like the sun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! here are terrible answers bc it is for the most part the last option with a little of the former two mixed in !

for context the term usually turns up in the following situations > - seed arc (post lhnh travel arc for sky(+jack)) - seed kids (blood-related children of soulless. put a pin in this) - seed mode (their inevitable end) all of these are meta terms and not used in canon bc [seed] terminology goes back to outdated lore (pre-2015 moon system overhaul) where soulless immortality worked via "influence rules" essentially them being untethered from time meant the exact opposite where they'd fade away unless they anchored themselves into existence by influencing it. & it just so happened that everyone's least favourite oc of mine (hot minute since i last posted so yeah this is abt gray. yes we are skirting rabbit territory here. knife emoji locked and loaded) anwy his chosen method of influence accumulation was via "seeds of immortality" aka. lab-grow some landmine children and yeet them thru time portals so when they cause calamity all up and down reality it quadrubillions ur power.

now forget everything i just said bc this was pre black swan era where gray was a much more one-note machiavellian villain type guy. impossible that he used to be even more boring than he is now <3

anwy that's where the basic wording comes from, and in broad strokes it's still the same concept but the particulars have changed !! without getting into stupid soul birth rules the tldr is. after he accidentally gets stuck with a daughter, hold for [🐇], gray realizes that for the time he is linked to a mortal btwn incubation nd blossoming of a soul, it acts as a fairly reliable pain relief. nowhere near the levels of linnea's cold touch cure, but after losing her he has to make do, bandaid on a bullet wound etc. so he whores around a bunch and gets stuck with children he has no use for (hold for. 🐇) and disposes of them via time portal. the funniest thing is that he has no idea what happens to soulless halfbreeds after this.

what happens to soulless halfbreeds is this: any child of a mortal and a soulless will inevitably die when their moon blood eats thru their soul. for 99.9% of seed kids this happens around the time they come of age (20 yrs) with the one notable exception ofc being sky bc her birth mother was a descendant & having some of reina's spark in her translates to the bastard strength i am insane abt for the rest of my life, slightly more resistance to soulless blood (despite all the. 💉🐇🩹 yknow) so her total time wld have been at least a century, if not centuries, if she had not burned thru most of her soul to keep leah alive to see dream game. :) [i am exited from this line of thought]

INCOHERENT SORRY. wheres the road where's the point. this is a vry freeform answer my apologies OTL

it's not a botanical seed but it is very much a family lineage seed. soulless lineage, to the detriment of all involved. the main, named oc corners it touches are [ofc sky 💚] and also nashua in white crown. half-siblings the two of them, though never meet :3c & then there is ofc, seed arc; the terrible, terrible interlude. the decades after lhnh wherein sky grows into her own as she travels the world, and inevitably runs into children & young adults who carry a hint of night traces. who sometimes look a little too familiar. who are afflicted with an obstinate patch of bruises somewhere on their body, a condition she knows all too well. & who, without fail, die in agony the moment they reach adulthood. bc here is the last terrible detail,

seed kids don't simply die. they turn soulless for a short period of time when the invisible moon floods their body. congrats you have won a moon worth of pain !!!!! unspeakable agony in every nerve and cell !!! not quite soulless enough to bear it, but not quite mortal enough to die a quick death from it. some seed kids bloom into light illusion powers, some even unlock a little temporal distortion, but none of them are in a mental state where they can harness those abilities for anything more than extreme local destruction of everything and everyone around them before they burn out. so before long seed arc becomes about sky putting her unfortunate half-siblings out of their misery before they can hurt their own loved ones. killing children goes over so well for her psyche too <33

& ofc ofc. thanks to all of this. even way past adulthood as she is, sky knows she'll end up like all the others sooner or later. and given her unholy strength stat, she will cause [kyubei voice] unprecedented amounts of suffering. damage beyond belief with nobody short of a true ruler able to kill her. considering her overall resilience so far she might not even burn out naturally but continue to wreak havoc, turn into mindless killing machine. some might even call that modus 殺戮人形 >:)

#MY BEST KEPT SECRET NGL IS. murder doll obsession is a fucking two way street. an entire damn highway #it's fun on the extended gr*y parallels angle (outfit <3 violence <333) nd ofc. [gestures at recent sets] all that #but the mechanics of 殺戮人形 are seed mode sky in all her terrible glory and i have not had a calm moment abt it #ANWY SORRY THIS IS A MESS REPLY i am out of practice but the good news is my wrist was fine typing all of this!!!!!!!!#two more weeks of japan and im so back babeyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!#askbox #anonbox #oc asks #loreposting #< new tag bc these asks are too good to lose. sb remind me to go thru and tag older ones in december when im home

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autumnshighlady · 7 months

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ok this is so stupid but i really want to see neris and reader interactions,, like the small things, the comfort, the protectiveness,,,, ughh love what you've done w the story man, desperately waiting for the next part fr. (go on your own pace tho) glad to know i've shifted you a little bit on a azriel thing (devious smile) - ithink he's a good character for most people because he barely had a personality in the books and so we can usually make up stuff yk, like he's mostly just broody in the books and we're told stuff abt his personality but not shown it. can't wait to see what happens next! ohh also the dragon interactions!!! i wanna see those too!!! eris has hounds right,,, it wld be cute for them to protect nes and r tooo,,,, ahhh sorry this is literally just me ranting lol, obv feel free to ignore the reqs,,, i really want to let you know that your writing is good bc you seem to get less interactions than you should!! and a weird amt of hate lmao like whats w the people being rude about ialtpwf and wanting guys my age so badly, like i enjoyed it despite not particularly liking the daddy kink partbut like. really,, why so rude??? want to see how reader fares in front of beron too, i assume word of her power will reach him too/. anyway, how long are you planning on pushing the beron overthrowal thing (im being curious not being like ugh when are u plannign on ending it,, in case thats what it sounded like,, idk man im overthinking). oh also! want to see court relations with all of them after berons gone. before berons gone. all of it, i want them to be better leaders/people to the court people yk. oh!! also lucien-reader friendship!!! love that!! we havent seen much of it but hes def the kind of guy to tease r abt eris when they start actually flirting and getting near a relationship yk. eris-lucien brotherhood too tho, obviously. also the lady of the autumn court!! watching them bond w her!!! ahh jfoisfkjmdofikndfvg ium sorry have a great day today1!! hope you rest well after that long ass shift. oh yeah i agree w you on the feyre thing, she's def just mostly like a pawn to rhys yk, i think she was better as a char when she was w tamlin tbh, altho obviously i dont want her to be with someone who kind of abused her without any groveling at least/ cant wait to see more interactions fr!!!! oh when i said in the story, i meant the actual books, well and yourss but the actual books mainly! anyway i think you've managed to be realistic w all of them in a way that is good. bye! oh same anon as last time. should i give myself a name, is that fine,, i'll choose * anon. sure.

i can’t wait for you to see more of the neris x reader interactions! you’ll love it. i feel like i’ve done a decent job of their dynamic so i’m super proud of it so far.

Azriel’s journey is one i have planned out - it’s going to be complicated because yk he’s been loyal to rhys for 500 years and that’s not suddenly going to change, but he will continue to play a role.

you’ll see more of the dragons for sure! and the hounds will be involved too so fear not ;)

yeah idk why people got so weird about guys my age like i’m glad they enjoyed it of course but i kinda did everything i wanted to do with that fic so i don’t feel i have anything else to add to it if that makes sense

beron will play a bigger role soon! as far as them overthrowing him, prob within a couple chapters maybe a bit longer. im still playing around w the details of how exactly it’s going to happen

expect a LOT more lucien and lady of autumn in the later chapters! i love love love writing for lucien so i’ve got special stuff for him planned hehe

tons more interactions to come. more lucien, azriel, gwyn and emerie, cassian, etc. thank you for your message angel and NEVER apologize for rambling - nobody has taken the time to say this much about my fic so far in one go so i LOVE reading these. send as many as you want <3

#* anon<3 #ialtpwf #<3

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enchantechante · 2 years

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08102022 | gratitude

i lost my voice at game night. that carnival cruise was amazing. my skins sundrenched and i got so much rest. i sat in a king sized cabana floating in the inky blue ocean reading in the moonlight. catching up on sermons. i slept w no alarm. had no notifications for days. the food was incredible. there was cold pressed juices, every brand of tequila, fresh seafood, a burrito bar, and by the end we were making loaded fries between the taco and burger restaurants. a whole spa, a few jacuzzis (cleaned often), a gym, and an outdoor movie theater. u ever watched a movie on a 22ft outdoor screen from a jacuzzi built into a boat?! and finally, somebody pulled a tiddy out at a adult-only show. 11/10 wld recommend.

bae got our all inclusive tix + drink pkg. i got our tips, petty cash & entertainment. love our team work 🫶

(tlcs creep came on and these are from the pjs section at target so i did a drunken music video in my cabin)

new books: wild tongues cant be tamed. ed. saraciea j. fennell. latinx heritage month is important. as i embrace and revive faded cuban parts of my family tree, these narratives bring a sense of community i didnt know i had w others more dominantly ethnically latinx ppl. the isolation melts, the chatter stops (wondering what other ppl think of your Blackness/otherness), and you come home in a way you didnt know was available to you in your own skin.

also got honey and spice by bolu babalola. its got 🔥 reviews so i had to cop it.

15 day streak in duo lingo! look at that! i used to be on unit 8 and now im on 2. and that sucks but i did take at least a year off so i should be crispy by the time I finish all my units. In the meantime I researching free resources for Spanish learners that uses real-life conversations in real-time. And researching personal tutors, to reach full fluency.

growing out of struggling to let go of my expectations of others this week. but i apologized and coped through it. learning that letting go isn't just cashing in on Gods underground economy of forgiveness and grace. true forgiveness instantly gives me mental clarity and hearts-space to be present and impactful w the things i can control.

the more efficiently i can forgive things outside of my control, the more present I am. i can recharge and be fully re-invested emotionally in playing my part in my own total wellness. And that much closer to my dreams.

this is very important in relationships. as a recovering perfectionist - i struggle. ❤️‍🩹 but im grateful for these lessons.

fall nails in a tuxedo black. the minimalist design suggests depth. love that. marvelous, deep infinitely unknown blk. ✨

#gratitude #personal #rdy

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legobatjoker · 2 years

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btw i watched not the full eps bc i started too late in the day to do so or else i wldve stayed up too late (which. ive done anyway DFHDFHDF) but the v few carulia scenes from s3 to record them for amv usage nd ok i didnt even need to have to watch the ep w this moment at all i just thought i did but theni didnt HGGHGF but i ended up watching the scene w chase talking with julia in acme for the first time in the season and OH MY GODD chase is such a dick in that scenes hes SUCH a dick like hes so arrogant abd like sure in his belief tht he shld stop carmen and hes SUCH a huge asshole to julia like he even says the "dull facts about boring things" again like if they wanted us to beleive he wld change his mind abt carmen later this season they shldnt have established him as still being very much focused on catching her and if they wanted us to want him to have that redemtion they shouldnt have made him be such a DICK !!!!!!!! anyway moving on from that um the caruliaaa <3<3<3 <3 they dont even interact this season and YET !!! thee julia quitting acme and the "its my heart that isnt" moment and carmen asking wers jules today and saying tht she trusted jules and the jules wound understnad moment !!! TT__TT (ingnoring the scene after the jules would understand moment bc its the stupid chase immediately changing his mind on carmen moment tht doesnt make sense -__- FDGDFHDF)

AGH YEAH S3 IS SO STRANGE FOR THIS BCUZ. they reestablish chase as “dull facts and boring things” which. if ur plnning a redemption then have him apologize at least.. and then also. if ur planning a redemption then redeem him before he’s. suddenly completely on board w everything he’s been stubbornly against.. BUT ALSO YEAH THOSE CARULIA MOMENTS THAT R THERE THO;;

#mewtuals #castle.answers #the carulia alsways so good..

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throwingupmyemotions · 9 months

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mom

this whole things is just going to be me word vomiting everything about my mom and my relationship with her bc i think it played a huge role in shaping who i am and how i react to ppl and problems but i literally don't understand it at all and i recently found some new information so i just kinda hope i can piece it together after writing it all out yk

so i hate crying in front of my mom and i almost never do anymore, and i rarely show any kind of negative emotion around her just bc i hate it yk. but i went home last week and i was talking to my sister about stuff and we started talking about my mom and i said that i felt like my sister was treated like "the son" of the family (esp in asian households, they are obviously favored) and she agreed bc lowkey my mom made it too obvious. but then my mom came in and all of a sudden i asked her why when i used to cry she would always say they were "crocodile tears" bc it sounds like she thought i was crying to manipulate her and not bc i was actually hurt. and she said "did i rlly say that??" and my sister and i laughed bc she wld literally say it every time i cried (which was very often lol i was an emotional child and that's prob why they never took my feelings seriously) but anyway somehow i started crying and i told my mom about how hurt i felt growing up and feeling like she hated me and my mom apologized and i could totally tell it was genuine. she opened up about her childhood trauma (she has a lot of it) and she said the therapist that she has started seeing said that she has borderline personality disorder which kind of turned my entire world upside down!! I'll explain now:

so basically during 8th-9th grade my mom was going thru some stuff and our relationship was rlly rlly bad. she would get into these moods where i felt like she genuinely hated me. idek how to explain it but she would get super cold and find any reason to get mad at me and her getting upset is one thing but she somehow found the worst most hurtful things she could say and she said them so easily while knowing they would hurt ykwim?? and i remember she would get so angry and me crying would make it worse but trying to hold back my crying made me start getting almost panic attacks where i couldn't breathe and she would somehow get more angry. it felt like a horror movie, like genuine raw fear. but these moods would only target me, like she was completely normal with my sister and when my dad would come home she would be back to normal and she would threaten me if i told my dad about what happened but he wld find out anyway bc i would start crying at the dinner table or smth.

but so those moods wld happen one day and the next day she would be nice to me and i wld bring up how hurtful the things she said the day before were to me and she would have no memory of it. im not even kidding she wld say "i said that??" and i genuinely don't think she remembered any of it. and she would always feel so bad and apologize a million times and say she was going to go get help and that she didn't mean any of it and that she loved me so much. at the end she would give me a long hug and i wld be crying of relief. the hug was always so good, every time i remember thinking that this time was the last time and i was safe in my mom's arms and she wld never hurt me like this again. ive always been pretty gullible, i believe ppl. especially the ppl i love yk? but the next day she wld hate me again. and the day after that she wld apologize and not remember any of it. after 1.5 yrs of it, i started seriously breaking. i remember not even feeling angry, i just was so exhausted and scared. somehow the fear only got worse, i never got used to it. i remember just wanting to get away from her, i hated being alone with her bc i never knew which version of her i was going to get and there was no escape. i thought she had bipolar disorder bc of her mood shifts but that's why when she told me about her bpd diagnosis i was so idk the word?? i wldnt say relieved but like some part of me was satisfied in knowing the reason she acted the way she did wasn't bc of me.

so one thing i think i always wondered was if she believed those things she said, now ik she said those things just to hurt me but that doesn't rlly make me feel better bc that means she wanted to hurt me? like what was wrong with me that made her want to see me like that yk. so i think that's part of why i feel so idk i don't want to say (unlovable) bc it sounds bad but lowkey yeah. it feels like my existence is so burdensome and annoying to everyone and i constantly have to make up for it by being as helpful as i can and to give everything i have to make ppl love me. but even then, like i get that my parents and friends love me but they don't actually love me. bc everything i say and do is to get them to love me, its not actually me yk? idek who i am bc my entire life just revolves around getting validation and affection from ppl. and the worst part of it all is that even tho i realize all of this, i don't want to stop and start being myself. somehow i know that as soon as i start being myself, no one will love me.

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erodasfishtacos · 3 years

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I fucking love mlb!harry and ceo!harry

Ur so talented

Erm i had an idea (pls feel free to ignore, i know u hv a busy schedule and life outside of tumblr) but what if mlb!harry played badly in a game (or less than how he expected he wld perform) and y/n makes him feel better

Ceo!harry loses an important deal and y/n makes him feel better

CRAMP

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warnings: smut; 18 +

YN knew it wasn’t going to be a fun time when Harry came home that night.

All four babies were fast asleep in their respective rooms and she was lounging on the couch, some cooking show on after she watched her husband play a rough game on ESPN.

He got hit with a fastball to his calf during the second inning and after that, his performance went downhill and he couldn’t get back on track.

He threw three homeruns and only made a few mediocre hits, trying to ignore the shooting pain in his lower leg.

In a typical Harry move, he refused to do the end of game handshakes with the opposing team and stormed off the field.

An interviewer chasing after him to ask him a question and Harry give her a dirty look before muttering, “Get away from me. I’m not answerin’ any questions,” before he disappears down the stairs.

YN knew just the thing that will cheer him up.

Harry trecks into the house with heavy feet and tense shoulders, his eyes are tired and frustrated as he drops his duffle on the ground carelessly.

“Hi,” YN murmurs when he steps into the living room, she was all curled up in a fluffy blanket with a surprise underneath.

“Hi,” He says back blandly, the frown unmoving from his face - almost like a pouty little kid.

“Can you come rub m’back?” She asks, feeling herself dampen a little bit with the excitement of what’s to come.

Harry scoffs, obviously in a sour mood, “I just finished a game, walked in the door, and tha’s the first thing I get is a demand?”

“Okay? And I just dealt with all four of your babies all day today. Ezra refused to be put down for more than five minutes straight,” She tries to bite down the smile, she shouldn’t find it funny when her husband’s bent out of shape.

That makes him melt a bit though, voice soften minutely, “Were the babies good today?”

“I’ll tell you about it after you rub my back.”

Harry grumbles, kicking off his trainers with a irritated edge, and heavy-footed as he makes his way to the couch.

“Take off the blanket and move on y’belly then,” He mutters, eyes boring into hers without reflecting the amusement that she has - if he was in a better mood he would have helped her along.

When she slips off the blanket and quickly moves on her stomach, burying her face in her arms when she hears him sucks in a breath.

“Wha’ are y’naked?” Harry demands, obviously trying to stay irritated because he deserved it for having such a shitty game.

YN makes sure her voice sounds airy and coy, “Just got hot is all.”

“S’fuckin’ freezin’ in here,” He rebukes but sits on the side of the couch with only a little room on the edge - his large hand coming to massage at her back muscles.

“Mmm,” She agrees noncommittally, feeling Harry’s hand wander curiously, further down her back to the lower curve before her bum.

“Y’trying to cheer m’up with sex,” Harry accuses, bent out of shape because he just wants to sulk in his poor performance but also he has the most beautiful woman in the world in front of him - bare and wet for him.

“I didn’t offer sex,” YN smirks, her husband falls into her to tricks every fucking time, no matter how much of bad mood he’s in.

Harry’s voice gets lower, more dangerous and gravely, “No? Just flashin’ y’ass at me for fun now? Decided for absolutely no reason to be waiting for m’to come home naked?”

“No reason at all,” She agrees, excitement building when his gentle massage turns rougher, hands kneading a little deeper into her muscles.

He shakes his head, eyes glued onto her backside where her cheeks are round and hiding what he really wants to see, “So if I dip m’fingers down between y’pretty thighs, your cunt won’t be soaking f’me?”

Harry’s skin prickles when his wife lets out a feathery, delicate moan at his words, he’s desperately trying to hold onto all of his negative feelings but he’s struggling because of the beauty that’s squirmy underneath him.

“Dry as the Sahara.”

It makes Harry finally break a little, letting out a belly laugh, and smacking her bum hard enough to make her squeak in delight.

His fingers travel down between her puffy folds, slipping into the heavenly heat of her where she is soaking his fingers.

In a filthy move, he pulls them back up and rubs them on his wife’s lips, “If y’not wet than what’s on y’lips, darlin’?”

Harry’s cock twitches when she lets out a quiet whine, pink tongue tracing her bottom lip before she laps at her husband’s thick fingers.

“Fuck,” He grunts, pressing down on her tongue,“Y’gonna let m’hit it from behind?”

When she can speak, she shakes her head, “No, want it on m’back.”

“Spoiled thing,” He murmurs, giving her one more smack before helping her flip back over, “Supposed t’be all about me, not you.”

YN’s eyes are sparkling, hand coming to tug lightly at his locks and pull him down into a kiss, her other hand wriggling his shorts down.

“All I had to do was take m’clothes off, didn’t even have to ask for it,” She giggles sweetly, teasingly, “Doesn’t matter what mood you’re in, always want to give it to me.”

“Best I’ve ever had, mama,” Harry replies against her lips, mumbled a bit as she grips him and leads him right to where she needs him most.

“Only one you ever had, only one you ever will have,” YN remarks confidently before throwing her head back when he bottoms out.

“Y’so fuckin’ hot when you’re possessive. You already know y’own me, darling. I bought you this big ole’ house, got four of m’babies sleepin’ upstairs, and got y’under me every night. I’m fucking yours. I have been since we met.”

“Harder, H,” She demands, nails digging into his strong shoulders as he fucks into her at a steady pace.

“Be quiet, let m’do it how I want,” He chides, keeping a slow but hard rhythm as he ducks down the suck at the hard peaks of her breasts before grazing them with his teeth.

“Do it how I want,” YN moans with an arrogant tone, it just drops with how confident she is that her husband is whipped for her. (He is).

But he’s already in a less than great mood so it has him flipping her, putting her onto all four as he wants, and slamming back in.

“We’re gonna do it ‘ow I want it,” He grunts in her ear, his hand gripping her cheek roughly enough to dimple and his other wrapping in her messy hair, “Y’absolutely soakin’ me, pet.”

“Oooh, fuck!” YN hisses but it doesn’t sound like a normal moan from her - Harry knows every sound his wife is able to make.

“Mama? Y’alright?” Harry checks, slowing down but not completely losing momentum as he loosens his grip on her hair.

“Cramp, I’m cramping. Want it on m’back,” YN whines, trying to shake out her leg and Harry obliges, helping her back down to their original position.

Again, Harry isn’t stupid.

As soon as she is back where she’s moaning lowly and with an airy hitch as she goes to pinch at one of her nipples.

“Y’such a spoiled brat,” Harry shakes his head in disbelief, “Y’didnt have a leg cramp, y’just wanted to be a pillow princess.”

“Lies,” YN giggles, eyes bright and happy as she peers up at her husband who is looking down a her like she hung the fucking moon and stars.

No one would ever be able to convince him that she didn’t.

“M’the one who had the shit day. I’ve just spoiled you so fuckin’ rotten tha’ y’just a desperate slut,” He laughs meanly but it sends a full body zip of electricity through his wife and he knows it.

“Harry,” She chokes out, gripping his biceps hard.

“Hands to yourself,” He snaps, taking her hands and pinning them above her head with just one of his hands.

The other comes down and lands a smack right on her puffy folds, once..twice…three times before YN is coming on him.

“Easy f’me,” Harry hums with satisfaction, leaning down to kiss her moans quiet as he fucks in hard a handful on times before he’s filling her up, “There y’go, hm? Marking y’up as mine, all full of me.”

“Yeah, baby,” YN agrees dazed, dated as he comes to a halt as he softens and pulls out - wiping her down with his shirt as she whines, “Sensitive.”

“M’sorry, mama,” Her husband apologizes, trying to be careful around her nerves.

After, they lay on the couch - talking about their day until Briar’s monitor lights up from the side table with high pitched cries.

“Mama, mama, daddy,” The thirteen month old sobs as she sits up in her crib - unable to find her binky in the dark.

“I’ll go get the bub,” Harry offers, sitting up and tugging his briefs and shorts back on.

“Okay, she missed you a lot today. I’m going to go shower.”

When Harry steps into the room, Briar is looking expectantly at the door and her eyes widen when she spots her father.

“Daddy, dadada,” She babbles happily, standing up to clutch the railing of her crib with anticipation.

“Oh, there’s m’lil mama. Hi darling,” Harry coos softly, gathering her up into his arms and taking a step over to the rocking chair.

He pops her pacifier back between her lips and she looks up at him with heavy-lids, it doesn’t take long before her blinks get longer until her eyes shut close.

Harry doesn’t know what he did to deserve such an amazing life but he was sure fucking grateful.

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judeswhore · 2 years

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It doesn’t have to be the end for him. He can change, he can apologise, he can do better! Why should he not be allowed to play football again?

please tell me ur fucking joking bc what the fuck? if this is genuinely how u think then ur a disgusting piece of shit just like he is. “he can apologise” there are no fucking amount of apologies that wld ever ever make up for what he’s done. “why shouldn’t he be allowed to play football again?” because he’s an abuser, why the fuck should he be allowed to keep his job, keep earning shit tones of money when he’s ruined a girls life? do NOT fucking come into my inbox with shit like this. he deserves the worst life has to offer and he shove whatever apology he has planned up his arse. people like u are the biggest problem in society and i hope u have a shit day thanks bye

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amjustagirl · 3 years

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Nikki. Hon.

Boy do I have some thoughts about Storm Chaser 😩

Atsumu, Atsumu...I want to first start off by saying that you characterized him <i>beautifully</i> . Atsumu is one of those characters that I actually love reading about the most, because in addition to all of his wonderful traits and his relationship with his brother (honestly I could read banter back and forth between those to for days), his flaws are on full display, usually wrapped up in his virtues. His single minded determination? Sometimes at the expense of his loved ones. His stubbornness? Can turn to bull-headedness and he has a tendency to blindly think he's right. His passion? It's all or nothing with him, and getting the short end of the stick can hurt irreparably.

Okay and this might be a controversial opinion? This is exactly how I'd imagine a relationship with Atsumu might go. He's not always the most tactful and says what's on his mind, and sometimes that can be something you don't want to hear. And he can be spiteful, too - directing his frustrations with himself at those around him is a nasty habit he has that I think not a lot of FF writers touch on. When he left his ring behind on purpose in a place Kaiyo would see it, that actually hurt my heart.

That's why I think Osamu is such an integral part of his life, and even though he'd probably rather eat a spoonful of salt, I think Atsumu subconsciously turns to his brother for his troubles because Osamu's been setting him straight for most of his life. And <i>huge</i> praise to Osamu for being, IMO, the primary reason why their marriage was salvageable in the first place, and also for just being an amazing boss, brother (to Atsumu), brother-in-law (to Kaiyo), and uncle (to little Shino).

And last but not least, Kaiyo. I love her personality and think she's most a good fit for a partner to Tsumu. She has a good head on her shoulders, she's kind but not a pushover, and while initially I was against the idea of taking Atsumu back after he decided to ditch his responsibilities, I'm happy the got back together. And something else I did, this might seem extra but bear with me, but I actually went back to Chapter 6, hit CTRL+F and looked for the word 'sorry' and not once did it come up. Throughout his entire run for working to gain her forgiveness, Atsumu hadn't actually apologized to Kaiyo like Osamu said, but when he finally did in Chapter Seven and she gave him another chance, I liked it a lot. The healing process started once he finally swallowed his pride and apologized, and even then it took time - apologizing to her, her family, his brother for heaping his responsibilities on him. I liked that, and I liked that it wasn't instant either.

And then in the stands, when she miscarried 😢 My heart broke into so many pieces. And despite the circumstances, I'm so happy Atsumu was there for her. And the rest of the MSBY team as well, being there for both of them. Shoyo, my little ball of sunshine, made me smile when he offered her his mother's number if she needed to talk to someone about it, how sweet of him!

This one was absolutely aptly named, and it was a whirlwind of emotions I wasn't quite prepared for on a Saturday 😂 But I loved every moment of it! Thank you so much! 🤗💖🤗💖

<s>PS this all confirms why Osamu is my favorite of the two akdkakdnelqjsn</s>

oh darling lemme give you a hug ahhh <3

i knew atsumu wld be an amazing character to write cos as you pointed out, he's so flawed yet lovable. the dark side of his passion for volleyball is that he's more likely that not, going to resent anything and anyone that gets in the way of his ambition, and that's when his spiteful side really peeks out. it's not pretty, he's not a romantic hero but a flawed human being. i cried when i wrote the scene where he leaves his wedding ring right by the door, so kaiyo's reminded every day that he walked out on her and shino and the fact that she kept the ring clean, kept it exactly where he left it despite clearing all other signs of him from their apartment hurts my heart.

and that's where osamu steps in. he's really the silent support behind both atsumu and kaiyo and really, he deserves all the love cos that poor man just shouldered the burdens that atsumu left behind. but in a sense osamu's goodness just...kind of makes atsumu insecure. i weaved a little bit of that in the fic - when atsumu gets jealous of the relationship btw osamu and kaiyo, when he just assumed that he's the bad twin and doesn't have a conscience. i find their sibling relationship really...complicated yet loving and it was just such a blast to write.

kaiyo, my queen. when i was coming up with her personality i knew for a fact that atsumu could NOT be paired with a pushover, and my sense is that he'd be drawn by someone with strength of personality (look at how he's drawn to shoyo!) and in any case kaiyo had to have this ironclad will to survive atsumu's bullshit.

and yeah i definitely had a lot of readers discuss whether or not she should've ended up back with atsumu. i think...yeah the story at the end of the day is about...marriage that takes time to settle, about family and forgiveness and relationships that crumble, that can be rebuilt. and yknow i love that you combed through chapter 6 for an apology from atsumu because the omission of a simple 'sorry' from him was intention on my part. leading up to chapter 7, atsumu was being utterly selfish in his desire to get back together with kaiyo. he couldn't fathom that he should put her needs and desires ahead of his, and so he couldn't give her a proper apology until after the talk with osamu where his twin sets his head straight and reminds him to not be selfish for once in his life. and so when kaiyo takes him back, it's not because he bought her a motorbike (i mean, that in itself is significant in symbolising his desire to return her independence and autonomy back to her, which she lost after marriage and parenthood) but because he demonstrated that he's truly sorry and has learnt the error of his ways by taking her needs and wants into account.

oops the miscarriage. i wasn't sure if it was too melodramatic but i wanted to show how he'd changed as a husband, and in any case - miscarriages aren't uncommon so i rly wanted to write a...hopefully realistic account of it. and aahhhhh yes hinata is really a ball of sunshiney goodness <3

HAHAHA and yes hence the title storm chaser - for (1) the whirlwind of emotions i put my readers through, (2) the comparison of atsumu to a storm (cos he's volatile and destructive to those around him) and (3) kaiyo for being crazy enough to chase after the storm that is miya atsumu. i probably overthought this HAHA.

#Nikki chats!#tyga lily<3 #storm chaser

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lovenona · 3 years

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idek if i'm doing you a favour by asking this considering how absolutely enthusiastic you are about the odyssey (aren't we all) but pls overshare about all the writing process(tm). what gave you the idea of the absolute masterpiece that is the odyssey? how do you find the mood/aesthetic of a chapter? i have sooo many questions pls TvT

(writing process for me includes but isn't limited to screaming and pacing around, spacing out and coming back with that 1 scene, having random title ideas after a song and ooo is that a pirate!gojo idea i see over my grilling toast?)

[screams] u have unlocked Oversharing Time™ i will be rambling abt writing the odyssey under the cut for all of u who are interested in my brain

first: where did this monster of a saga come from????

answer: i literally do not know bestie 😭 i absolutely didn’t start it with the intention of being a series (much less a series of this size & scope) i'd finished watching/reading jjk in december 2020 n was having a lot of sukuna brainrot at the time . i originally made this blog just to quietly read fics n reblog anime tiddies, but i basically woke up one morning and was like “u know what, pirate sukuna would be really cool.” i made this post to get my thoughts out n thought that was the end of it until like 3 days later when i was suddenly struck with the horrible urge to write more abt the concept, which is how neptune’s hands was born !

after i wrote that (also, lovingly, my first work on this blog!!) i rly did think that the concept was over n i'd move on to keep reading fics n vibing, but a few days after that i was like “wait a minute” n started world-building with siren!gojo (which, at the time of writing, wasn’t even supposed to be the “same” reader as neptune’s hands until i threaded it back into the series !)

so basically i just fucked around for a hot minute thinking i cld just write one-shots of various pirate-themed jjk stuff until i eventually was like “u know what, i think it would be fun as a series” n added toji for some flair (the prequel, david & calypso) before moving on to write part 2. finally when i was like halfway through the mahito chapter i realized i needed an actual plot if i wanted this to be a coherent thing, so i hit up a bestie (@/suedebunn!) n we dreamt up the ending of the odyssey. (to this day, lyn is still the only one who knows how the story ends !!)

after that it was simply a nightmare! now the odyssey just keeps growing longer and i don’t know why!!! i have no idea where these ideas r coming from because they just sort of show up and i'm like “oh that’s nice” it’s very bizarre but also very fun n cool – i have a very clear picture of how the big three will end up (sukuna/reader/toji) and some general notions of what i think would be cool but i don’t usually plan anything detailed in advance until it’s time to sit down and write the actual chapter because i like the way the odyssey just does its own thing

second: how do u manifest the vibes

answer: i love manifesting the vibes!!!! this is the most fun part because u get to vibe around and picture everything without having to do the work of writing it 😭 vibes are very important to the odyssey and i usually start planning a chapter by sitting down and feeling out the setting – weather & time of day are very important to the story both symbolically and aesthetically so i like to figure out what those are like first and work from there !

usually after i pin down the weather and time i like to think about where we’ll be and what the space will be like because being able to imagine where we are (on sukuna’s ship, a crusty port town, etc.) helps put the vibes in motion when trying to picture how u feel, what’s going on, etc. i get a lot of inspiration on the setting both from actual pirate history (which i know quite a bit abt RIP), movies like pirates of the caribbean and lord of the rings, and from real life by riding my bike and visiting forest preserves and parks on my own to get a sense of what i wld feel if i was the mc <3

vibes also come from music !! very important!! i have a beloved odyssey playlist full of songs that help me manifest the energy i’m looking for – i've found from working on this for almost a year now (fcking terrifying) that i'll pick a song or two which becomes the centerpiece for every chapter (for part 4, it was this, and for interlude ii / part 5, it’s this.) i usually require dead silence to actually write but i'll listen to the songs a lot when i'm planning the chapter! i like imagining the events like it’s a movie and the song is what’s playing while it happens which really helps get the vibes rolling

anyway this is so horribly long i apologize 😭 but i'm willing to talk more abt the actual writing n revision processes if anyone ever needs advice or is just genuinely interested i didn’t want to turn this into a disgustingly long ask SKJAKSJA

#this ask has enabled me as nothing has enabled me before #thank u for giving me the chance to write a ted talk #I am forever in ur honor #letters to adele #the odyssey!

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