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themeed · 3 years

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damn allowed myself to want things for a day and all i want is a van to live in, knowledge, freedom, weight loss, and a bass guitar.

im. happy with that i think. im proud of me, no jokes. im proud of being able to want things and care about them and vibrate towards them with longing. im... pleased with that. its fulfilling in a way Not Wanting For Anything isnt, because thats... kinda hollow. empty. in a vacant, lonely, yearning and grieving and SAD way. maybe because i Couldnt Want then. i Couldnt Desire or it would be used against me or taken away. that sucks. that sucked.

and now. im free to want again. and comparatively???? i think im very much never going to aim for buddhism or that weird Not Desiring Not Attached Nirvana mindset. like good for u but been there out of trauma and its not fun theres no reason to truly Live. u just float endlessly and experience and it aches so badly!!!! it hurts to want to want and not be able to. and i guess that is different from not wanting at all but... its not different enough for me to justify ever going back to that. or going forward to that. i just got this back and screw enlightenment if it means i have to give up on my passions i dont think life is worth living without it.

and anybody who looks down on that from a spiritual tower has yet to examine their own pride and how empty they feel without it.

anybody who looks down and smiles and wishes me luck on my journey? good for them. im glad theyre living their best life, on their journey as they see fit.

and i feel the need to protect myself because ive been hurt by the pride- the arrogance of others before. a lot of my hurts and traumas stem from my mother being too prideful to recognize that she can be wrong and someone under her power could be correct over her. and it was an uncomfortable truth. so she denied it was one at all and hurt me. i know the reason could be elaborated on. she didnt want to confront her own internal logic. or trauma. or even doublethink. that doesnt excuse her hurting a child for the sake of her sense of pride, of comfort, of self-worth. a child under her power, that she claimed to be parent of. teacher of.

not owing anyone anything is not the same as not hurting anyone. i havent reconciled that yet. oppressors should be held accountable for their mistakes, and give reparations if the harm is physical at LEAST. and i think that applies to politics, yes. privately though? if i beat up a nazi, i dont want to pay for his hospital bills. my personal philosophy struggles between equating people and ideas as a worth measurement, and realizing that that line of thinking is... similar to oppressors. but. its based on something people can change. the question is, do i think "if given the opportunity" is a good enough reason to stop and question a racist that runs their mouth? and do i think pre-emptive violence is okay? if say, a nazi walks into a bar and doesnt say anything but is wearing all the red flags and bells and whistles. i dont think that justifies a beatdown. being asked to leave, sure, but the beatdown doesnt start til the first remark flies.

once the intent is given OR the action is taken, the line is drawn. doesnt matter if they Havent Had The Chance. if theyre starting shit outside of debate spaces like that, and not, say, asking questions, theyre not looking for new perspectives, and it is NOT my job to educate people. its not my job to Show People The Light. a quick fucking google search could tell them why theyre wrong. if they havent put even the most basic energy into questioning their beliefs, thats on them.

it sounds like im trying to absolve myself of blame here. largely because. i think i should go out and help educate people because theyre inherently complacent if theyre, yknow, in a position of power. aka white folk and men and rich folk and cis folk and on and on and on. these people dont live my reality. they dont live the reality of a gay black man in the south, or a genderqueer lesbian in the west, or an indigenous woman whose nation is being targeted, or a muslim woman who cannot wear her headcoverings in the face of danger of death, or an asian immigrant who cant get a job because of COVD age discrimination resurging. we will never live each others realities, but we can become aware of them.

they wont come into awareness without someone asking or telling, and then doing something to change them.

we shouldnt need to go running to people in power for them to be aware of problems in the populace, govt is supposed to help and solve issues like this. like. actively. thats the whole point, make life better for the countrys citizens. and individuals in a position of social power...

are individuals who didnt take on a responsibility to protect and serve or otherwise care for the populace of a nation. i personally think they SHOULD care, but they are not obligated to. i cant make them care about others.

and honestly, on some of them, it would be a waste of time. there are people who want to change or question things and yknow what? they seek out answers. in people or places or online usually. stats and stories.

so like. i dont think someones Potential as a person matters when theres a throwdown about to happen. it really isnt my responsibility to save people from themselves or try to change their sides against their will. if they want to chat about it they can ask questions first.

not throw insults or punches or hatred.

what people have been taught is worth analyzing and trying to correct IN SOCIETY but i cant fix every broken white boy that comes to me. PSAs, fliers, outreach, online videos, debate spaces. those are things i already have access to and can be a part of if i really want to go around changing minds. or yknow. get involved in legislation and be myself around others to change their perceptions of whats socially acceptable or normal. maybe protest, maybe call congressfolk, etc.

but not every comment has to be analyzed or a learning opportunity. im allowed to shut it down, and people can respect that or stop talking to me. this isnt my parents house where i had to justify everything that i said or did when scrutinized, and doubly justify any criticism i had of mother, or any joke i frowned at instead of smiling.

these people dont have that power over me. they arent my mother. they arent my boss, and if they are i can fuck off and get a new job if necessary. they dont have financial control over my living space and food and schooling and physical control of where i can go and with who and for how long. I CONTROL THAT. I do.

Huh. maybe thats why i want a van so bad. i mean... when this lease ends if nobody is gonna end up living with me...

i could just... live in my car and shower at truck stops. get a storage unit for my stuff. save by driving jobs. like 40 to 60 a day. tear out my cars back, insulate it, and install my mattress pad there. water on the floor, cooler next to it, wooden cutting coard, knife, single camping plateware set, and another little shelf for spices. maybe a hot plate i can hook up to the car battery? get a long enough usb and it might be doable. i could go camping and open the trunk to just... vibe.

because yeah, honestly? i dont plan on having a solid apartment for a bit. like a long bit. and i still have like 70000 miles on my car before itll want to go. and by that point, even at like 100 miles a day, thats like 2 years, less if i go cross country in that vehicle. i could save up SO MUCH for a better vehicle, or like. college. live on campus, get some credit, continue working after i figure out want i want to do.

i think thats a solid plan, even if i dont get another apartment and put everything in storage. work as i need to instead of all the time for rent, really only paying for gas, car repairs, car ins, food, and phone data/hotspot internet... that would bring my monthly expenses down to like 500 a month max instead of like 1400. id only need to make some 1000 a month doing contract stuff to save for taxes and stuff. anything extra would be just that: extra for savings and things. holy shit.

depending on how this next month goes for my friends, holy s h i t.

i. i might do this. legitimately.

i. dont think i can yet. i need proof of address to get my license im pretty sure? but hey, thatll be my 21st this year, so. once i have that i wont need a new address for a While. i dont know if ill want one, really.

i could always just ask a friend or family member if i could use theirs for mail that cant go to a PO box.

anyway. yeah. wow.

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phantoms-lair · 5 years

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Scooby and the Gang having quirks? That would be cool. Like, four superpowered kids and their probably also superpowered dog are amateur detectives instead of heroes. But they frequently run into other pro heroes, (like Scooby Doo team up) and have to help in anyway they can without breaking any quirk related laws. (Which they probably already do on a daily basis but they dont want to do that around pros, could get arrested.)

The signs had been there for quite a while, but none of them had picked up on them. At the time it seemed like another internet hoax. A baby that glowed in Japan. A woman who could create ice in Italy. But in the age of video editing, no one took them too seriously.

It didn’t become real for the gang until about a year and a half after the glowing baby started the craze of people declaring they had super powers. They had been on a road trip and Fred had been repairing a tire when his lug wrench snapped.

“Oh no,” he moaned. A spare tire he had, a spare wrench no so much. “I think we need to call the auto service."

“Like, let me.” Shaggy made a gesture like he was pulling something from thin air and grasped an identical wrench from the air.

“How did you do that?” Fred asked, impressed. “You’re wearing short sleeves, so you couldn’t have been hiding it up them.”Shaggy shrugged. “Like dunno, man. I want something, I reach for it, and it’s there.”

“Very funny, Shaggy.” Velma plucked the wrench from his hand. “Carbon steel, just like Fred’s old one.”

“You can tell, just by looking?” Fred asked, even more impressed.

“Certainly. It’s not that hard, you just focus on something and you can tell, you know?”

“No.” came the response from all of them.

“Really?” Velma asked, surprised. “It’s really not that hard.”

“It’s not that it’s ‘not that hard’, Velma. It’s flat out impossible.” Daphne explained, leaning out the Mystery Machine’s window.

“No, it’s not. I do it all the time.” Velma argued back.

“Hey, do you think this could be related to that superhero thing?” Fred asked, a note of excitement in his voice. “With people randomly developing super powers?”

“Fred, that’s not a real thing.” Velma rolled her eyes.

“Well, why don’t you test out whether Shaggy’s ‘power’ works while Fred fixes the wheel.” Daphne offered.

“I’m telling you super powers don’t exist.”

“I can’t believe this exists.” Velma said with tonelessly as she looked at the building in front of her

“Like me either.” Shaggy shuddered. “Like in comic books the government creating a registration list for supers always precedes real bad stuff.”

“At least you guys have it easy.” Fred pointed out “Tell them your power, demonstrate, then you get your registration card. Daph and I have to go through a whole battery to figure out if we even have a power.”

“I guess we meet up back here when we’re done.” Daphne gave them all a hug. “Good luck everyone.”

“I have a power!” Daphne ran out, waving a tiny plastic card. “You know how I haven’t been falling into trap doors as much anymore? I have some kind of radar and I’ve been subconsciously sensing the right way to go.”

“That’s great,” Velma said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster for the laws of physics breaking further.

Daphne knew how she felt, though, and didn’t take offense. “Shaggy’s not out yet? I figured he’d be fast, like you.”

“He was. But someone heard Scooby talking and turns out that’s not normal. So now they’re investigating animals developing powers.”

“What even is normal?” Daphne wondered out loud.

“Not the same as it was five years ago,” Velma agreed sadly.

It was about half an hour later before Fred came out. “Hey, where’re the guys?”“Sweet Freedom!” Shaggy and Scooby all but bounded out of the building.

“That took a while. They really weren’t ready for a dog with powers, were they?” Daphne smiled.

“Nah, they took that pretty well. Even had a metal working guy who could make a dog tag for him.”

Scooby moved his tag aside to reveal a new one under it, identifying him as a Class C Shapeshifter.

“Class C?” Velma inquired.

“Minor body changes, can’t change color.” Shaggy shrugged. “What kept us so long was the lectures.” he groaned.

“Lectures? What lectures?” Daphne looked to Velma and Fred to see if they had any idea what Shaggy was talking about.“‘Creating cash is still counterfeiting’, ‘Don’t make enough gold to crash the economy’. And like, it was heavily hinted I should go easy on making jewels and stuff.”

“I guess your power is kind of easy to abuse.” Fred admitted.

Daphne put a hand on Shaggy’s shoulder. “Diamond’s values are artificially inflated so make as many as you want.”

“Like, I’d rather just go get a hamburger or twelve.”

“At least something still makes sense.” Velma muttered.

“This is really bugging you, isn’t it?” Fred asked.

“Of course it is! Superpowers make no sense. Everyone in the world getting random ones? Even less sense. This is not something science can explain.”

“Yet” Fred added. “This isn’t something Science can explain yet. They’ll figure it out. Who knows, maybe you’ll be at the forefront of the discovery.”

Velma gave a weak smile. “You always know what to say, Jones. Come one, let’s get Shaggy his burgers before he wastes away to nothing.”

Shaggy and Scooby were in the back of the Mystery Machine before anyone could say anything else.

The others laughed and headed to the van. Fred was secretly relieved that everything had distracted his friends from the small plastic card in his wallet. For the most part it was the same as theirs, Photo, State ID Number, Date of birth. The only difference was next to Power: was the word ‘None’.

“I suppose it would become inevitable that the bad guys started using their powers,” Daphne sighed as the illusionist was packed into the back of the police car.

“But we solved it anyway.” Velma was grinning. “We just needed to expand on what we previously considered was possible.”

“And, like, we even did it before the heroes showed up.” Shaggy grinned. Probably the most predictable thing in all this were the real life superheroes starting to show up. New laws were being shaped, but right now it was a little bit of chaos. Still, they lived in a world with superheroes and Shaggy couldn’t help but think that was cool.

Two officers approached them. “Looks like everything all wrapped up. We just need to straighten up something on you statements.” The younger one said kindly.

“On your statements you were asked to write down your powers, but one of you didn’t see the need to comply.” The older glared at Fred who shrunk away.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to, I just-”

“Tell me what your power is, now.”

Fred felt his mind haze over. “I don’t have one. I’m just normal.”

The cop raised his eyebrow in disbelief. “Really? That must feel pretty terrible.”

“It does. I feel like dead weight weighing everyone down.”

“For the love of God, Frank, knock it off.” The younger cop shook his partner and the cloud lifted from Fred’s mind.

He snapped back into reality and realized the gang had closed ranks around him. Velma and Daphne were on either side, Shaggy behind him with a hand on his shoulder, and Scooby in front of him, hackles raised. Then he remembered what the cop had made him say and felt shame start to well up inside him. Sure he had been jealous, but it was okay as long as he never voiced those feelings. Only now someone had taken control of his tongue and forced the words out.

“We should be fine, why don’t you kids head on home.” The younger cop waved them off and pulled his partner away.

“You know none of us think you’re dead weight, don’t you Fred?” Daphne asked softly.

“I know. It’s just in my head.” Fred had never felt so small in his life. “Can we go home? Please?”

The Gang never brought the incident up again. They’d never been specially showy with their powers (or quirks as they were coming to be known), mostly out of deference to Velma’s discomfort. Now it was complete radio silence. Fred was grateful on one level that his friends were that considerate over something so amazing, but still wished Officer Frank had never made him say anything. He couldn’t help resenting the man, and had taken to letting Velma do most of the talking to law enforcement. He felt a little cowardly over it, but figured with Scooby and Shaggy scared of everything under the sun he was allowed this.

They had just figured out the mystery of the ‘Banshee’ haunting the old shack and were at Fred’s favorite part - setting the trap.

“Okay, I think all we need is about a foot more twine and I think this trap is set.” Fred looked at his handiwork proudly.

“Like, bad news, Fred. We’re out of twine.” Shaggy said sadly.

“What do you mean out of twine?” Fred asked. It didn’t make sense. Sure Shaggy couldn’t conjure something like an engine, but twine was barely any effort.

“I brought up everything in the Mystery Machine. There’s none left, man.” Shaggy shrugged.

“But can’t you just make more?”

“Oh. I, like, don’t do that anymore.” Shaggy hunched his shoulders a bit.

“What do you mean you don’t do that anymore? That’s your quirk. It’s- wait.” He thought none of them were talking about their powers. What if-? “Did you guys stop using your powers, because of me?”

The silence that met him told him all he needed to know. “Okay, no. We are not doing this.”

“Fred, if our having quirks make you feel bad, then we don’t need them. You’re way more important to us than that.” Daphne insisted.

“Look. Yes, I’m upset that I don’t have a power. I’ll even go so far as to say I’m jealous that you guys do. But at no point did I want you guys to feel like you had to give up your powers. I mean, there’s plenty else to be jealous of. Velma, you’re so brilliant, sometimes I feel like I can barely add two and two together. It’s hard not to feel plain when Daphne lights up a room with her amazing personality and ability to coordinate an outfit to look as amazing on the outside as she is on the inside. And it would definitely be nice to be able to eat twice my body weight and never worry about gaining a pound like Shag and Scooby do.”

“But I would never want Velma to dumb herself down, Daphne to make herself dull, or Shaggy and Scooby to not eat as much. Because those are quirks of being you, and your powers are a part of that now. You’re all so amazing, and now you’re even more amazing, and I don’t want to take any of that away from you. I know my insecurities are all in my head, but if you guys have to give up parts of yourself for me? Then I really am weighing you down and I refuse to let that happen. Ever.”

Before he knew what was happening, Fred found himself in the middle of a group hug.

“Oh hey, What do you know? Looks like we had more twine after all.” Shaggy slipped the couple of feet of twine he had conjured into Fred’s hand.

“Great.” Fred grinned. “Let’s go catch us a banshee.”

“They’re approaching fast. Shaggy and Scooby are about ten yards away. The Banshee is a yard behind them.” Daphne had her eyes shut as she concentrated on the image her radar was sending her.

“Let us know when they’re clear.” Fred held one rope and Velma the other. With Daphne’s quirk, it was easy to avoid accidentally capturing the boys in their traps.

“Now!”

As Shaggy and Scooby sailed past, Fred and Velma pulled and the Banshee was launched off the floor and into a net, which twisted around before being deposited in a hay baler, leaving the banshee trapped and unable to move.

“Call it in, guys. We got her.”

Soon enough the police arrived, along with a token force from the Hero’s Union.

“As you can see, we’ve caught the so-called Banshee terrorizing the area. Or should I say, Lanie Mayfair.” Velma pulled the mask off the so-called banshee. “She claimed she’d never gone near Baker’s Shack for fear of the banshee, but the soil on her shoes was the exact composition of the mud outside the shack. The feeling of dread and fear people reported were actually a low level psychic quirk that inspired those feelings.” That’s why they had to call in the Hero’s Union. Any crime with quirks used had to go through them. “The Banshee’s wail was prerecorded, and played over a series of speakers, including one hidden in the Banshee’s choker.”

“But we checked the records when the reports first came in. No one currently in the area has a quirk like that.” One of the Hero’s Union reps pointed out.

“Because she kept it a secret. I bet if you looked up Lanie’s records her power would be listed as ‘None’. Lanie’s an experienced conwoman. She knew how useful her quirk would be and pretended not to have one during registration. A quirk like that would be easy to overlook since it wouldn’t produce a visible or physical effect.”

“Very good Velma. But you’re wrong on one count.” Lanie grinned nastily. “It’s not a minor psychic quirk.” That was all the warning they got before a wave of pure despair shot out of her.

Fred felt his knees buckling under him. All those insecurities Frank had brought up, his lower self worth, jealousy, and guilt over being jealous, flooded to the surface once more. But he shoved it down. He had laid those demons to rest. He looked up and noticed everyone else wasn’t faring so well, not even the police or heroes. Most looked full of despair, with some weeping openly. Fred thought Shaggy was doing a little better, only to realize that while he didn’t look miserable, he didn’t look anything, as if there was no life in him.

“See how pathetic you are?” Lanie asked haughtily. “How completely wretched and worthless your life is?”

“Don’t you dare say that about any of them!” Fred snarled, rising to his feet. “My friends are the most amazing people on the planet! They’ve - we’ve put away dozens of low end criminals like you away. I mean, look at you. We’ve got you trapped and your quirk certainly isn’t going to help you escape. Seems we’re doing better than you.”Lanie’s jaw had dropped and the others were starting to rouse from whatever stupor they had been put into.

“We need to get to Fred.” Velma, who had been nearest to Lanie, forced herself up and pushed herself off the baler and towards him. On the way she grabbed Daphne and pulled her along. Shaggy had snapped out of his unresponsive state and he and Scooby were closing ranks too. Fred didn’t think he need the protection, she was still stuck in the bale, after all, but he appreciated having his friends by his side.

“You’re finished Lanie, and your two-bit quirk isn’t going to save you,” Daphne snapped, anger clear in her voice.

“Lanie...Mayfair.” One of the fallen heroes was back on his feet, though shaky. He headed towards the gang. “This is your only warning. Release your quirk.”

“No! How are you doing this?! All of you should be lost to despair! How can you even move!?”

The hero lifted his hand and there was a small zap before Lanie started twitching and the feeling of despair vanished completely. “Alchemist, we’re going to need to keep this one sedated.”

“Right.” The other hero touched Lanie gently. “That should keep her out for the next few hours.” She turned to Fred. “Thank you for your assistance. Without your help, this would have been a mess.”

“I just snapped out of it first.” Fred shrugged. “I was just lucky.”

“Fred, you didn’t just snap out of it first, you drove it back.” Velma corrected. “That’s why I wanted to get everyone near you, you were canceling out the effect.”

“How? I mean I don’t have powers, they ran a bunch of tests to make sure I didn’t have powers. How could I cancel out the effect?”

“We do need a better way to test for Psychic quirks,” Alchemist commented while the police officer worked on getting Lanie out of the bale. “If that’s two missed right here.”

“Two? But I-”

“Fred, you do have a power, it’s just the opposite of that witch’s.” Daphne explained. “I could feel it battling hers, driving away the darkness it was putting in my mind. The closer I got to you, the stronger I felt.”

“Like, no wonder we missed it.” Shaggy laughed. “Feeling better when you’re around just sounds like a side effect of being around you.”

“I...have a power?” Fred couldn’t keep the raw hope out of his voice.

“You do indeed.” Taser clapped his hand on his shoulder. “I think it’s obvious that, unlike Mayfair, you took the tests in good faith. But I think you need to get your registration straightened out as soon as possible.”

“Oh, yes. Yes, Sir!”

“I can’t believe this is real.” Fred stared down at the card in his hands. It was identical to the one he’d been carrying around for months, only instead of the word ‘None’ next to Power: it said ‘Morale Boost’.

It wasn’t a flashy or powerful quirk. Certainly not something a hero in a comic book would have. But it was his quirk. Something he had that could help his friends. And he wouldn’t trade it for any other power in the world.

#Ghost Writing #Scooby Doo #BNHA #Decided to set this during Gen 0 #So we have registration cards and the Heroes Union instead of Pro heroes #and why they wouldn't know the the trick to telling an individual with a undetected quirk from someone with none #I decided to go with the quirks I had given the gang in a recent ask and realized iding Fred's would be pretty hard #and th plot went from there #Anonymous

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devotedly-weird-blogger · 4 years

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So alot of you will disagree with me on what im about to say and thats fine. I underatand not everyone will feel how i do on the matter due to the severity and evidence floating around.

And id like to preface this by saying that this isnt me giving him an excuse or saying what hes done is okay because obviously its not, people were hurt and are still hurting and he should be held responsible for his actions accordingly.

That being said lets delve in to this shotstorm of a topic and clear some things up. So as most everyone knows at this point the allegations against Ryan aka Cryaotic have been confirmed to a degree by himself and several of his 'victims'. The members of LNC have also confirmed bits and peices of the situation as thr information became available to them and its been confirmed by Snake that there are atlest 17 to 18 people who have come forward to him about their involvement as victims of Ryan.

With this information in tow id like to make a few points before hashing out the nitty gritty detIls in full. And before anyone comes for my neck over this just know that this is from the perspective of someone whose both seen and been a victim of this type of shit herself and also grown up in a family where age gaps are common place in most all relationships.

So for starters ive seen how grooming works hell ive béen a victim of it before but i got out of it early enough to not have sever lasting trauma from it. Whati personally feel is grooming and see as true malicious intent is not what ive seen so far with these allegations. Thats not to say it wasnt wrong because by all means on a moral level this is obviously disturbing. Coming from the perspective of someone who grew up knowing that an age gap of 4 to 6 years as common however makes this situation feel less like hes a pedophile or monster for whats taken place. I personally have had relationships with men older than me by 2 to 7 years even. When i was 15 i dated a guy who at the time was 18, which if you want to be technical about it, was illegal. Had anyone wanted to they couldve put him in jail for it due to my being only 15 at the time. But similar to the situation with Ryan, nothing sexual transpired till i was of age. My last relationship was with a man who was 27 while im only 21 which is a 6 year difference. But because im 21 its veiwed as normal. Look at your elders even. More often than not theres an age gap of atleast 3 years between couples. My grandmother is nearly 10 years younger than my grandfather even. Personally i feel like its okay as long as things dont become physical untill the younger party is of age. That in mind i still know that a 22 year old talking sexually with someone 16 or 17 is wrong morally and verges on illegal.

As for the allegations themselves and his victims. Know that the community hears you we support you and we wish the best for you all and that you get the closure you deserve and you dont owe us the full stories as those are your personal lives raveled in a very upsetting tale. I dont doubt that they were hurt or that they were truely victims, its clear that they were and deserve to see him held accountable just as any other accused of similar things.

As for Ryan himself. I am hurt and dissapointed by whats come out and as much as i want to join everyone on calling you a monster and saying i hate you, i dont. I see a man whose hurting others and himself in ways that are rather disturbing to hear and i hope you get the help you need and right your wrongs. The community should also realize that holding you accountable doesnt mean sending you hate and making remarks that you should off yourself or demand explinations. We arent the victims and we dont have the right to demand answers. We arent the ones who get to forgive him and we arent the ones who should be getting the apologies. I havent gotten all the details on the situation so obviously my veiw isnt going to be 100% accurate but even so i know that he owes us nothing and that the victims are the ones who get to make the demands.

From a legal stand point his silence is a smart move as he was only making this worse with his video and oroginal tweets on the matter. So be patient, if he releases a statement on the matter at some point then he does but if he never makes one then let it die with the community. We dont need to keep this alive by demanding he answer us especially when we could be hurting the victims more by keeping it in their faces what hes done.

I dont wish bad on anyone involved and only hope they all get the help they deserve and need in the process of this all. For those who dont know whats going on here are links to some of the videos and threads best explaining the situation.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ChaoticMonki/comments/hef6zr/megathread_cryaotic_accusations/?utm_source=xpromo&utm_medium=amp&utm_name=amp_comment_iterations&utm_term=active&utm_content=post_body

https://youtu.be/B7LdXYjs_YE

youtube

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4rW7I7oephFlTfoZz0kAaaQEtaGTiLjD

Theres morr out there on this im sure and please do let me know if ive missed anything but on a personal note while i feel he needs to face the consequences of what hes done i dont think things are being handled well by the community. This couldve been much worse and the backlash has been rather extream. Obviously theres still things we dont know but as of right now im firm in my feelings that he deserves time to get help and explain himself even though its not going to change the past. And i hope the victims get their solace and justice for whats transpired.

#cryaotic #cryaoticmonki #fuck cry #allegations #i hope they get help #this shouldnt have happened #Youtube

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scribble-skull-rat · 4 years

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any or all of the personal asks!

Ima answer all of them!

1. Any scars?

Several! I have scratch marks on my stomach from when my skin was really sensitive and i scratched too hard, i have a few self harm scars, i have a scar next to my eye from when i was 2 and i tripped in the bathroom, i have several on my hands from my cat and i have one on my knee from when i had a leg infection and they sliced open my knee so they could remove it!

2. Self harmed?

Sadly yes and I've thought about it recently but i haven't so im doing good!

3. Crush?

Like crushes ive had? Because I've had several. Oliver in 1st grade, kyndra in 1st grade, kyndra in 2nd grade, mason in 3nd grade, ethan in 4th grade, jack in 5th grade, seth in 5th grade, kylie in 5th grade, kylie in 6th grade, and kylie (the same one) in 7th grade!

4. Kissed anyone?

I kissed about 2 people and it was a make out session with the first, id rather not talk about it or how it happened.

5. Coke or Pepsi?

I dont like soda. The fizz hurts my throat and tounge

6. Someone you hate?

My brother kevyn and trump

7. Best Friends?

You, i think. Not alot really.

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?

Never done drugs but my mom let me have wine when i was 6, gave me a 4th of a bottle of beer when i was 10, and let me have vanilla cola and coconut rum mixed together when my grandpa died, she also let me smoke pot but i didnt want to so yeah. Also vanilla cola and coconut rum is actually really good

9. What’s your dream job?

Animator on youtube or just a big youtuber

10. Ever been in love?

Sevral tomes

11. Last time you cried?

A few days ago when i had a breakdown

12. Favorite color?

Blue or black

13. Height?

5'0

14. Birthday?

July 13 2007! 7/13/07

15. Eye color?

Blue

16. Hair color?

Brown

17. What do you love?

Echidnas, raccoons, opossums, hedgehogs, tenrecs, maincoon cats, norweigian forest cats, Alaskan malamutes, huskys, chocolate, butterscotch, carmel, frozen yogurt, fairy lights, blue lights in a dark room, the smell of rain, the sound of a heart beat, when people run their fingers through my hair or on my scalp, warm hugs, dragons, werewolves, vampires, lofi, cavetown, lots of things really

18. Obsession?

Don't really have one

19. If you had one wish, what would it be?

Haven't really thought about it but the only thing coming to mind is to make the pain and guilt go away, maybe to be able to remember my past

20. Do you love someone?

Two people actually!

21. Kiss or hug?

Hug

22. Nicknames people call you?

Toby, small, baby, mia, midget, ducky

23. Favorite song?

Baby hotline

24. Favorite band?

Cavetown

25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you?

I was raped when i was 4-5 and cant remember it

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?

I got into a community of people willing to teach my self carr

27. Something you would change about yourself?

My eyes, body and hair

28. Ever dated someone?

They're names were Lily, Jack, Elijah and Alex and ive long since broken up with them.

29. Worst mistake?

I dont wanna talk about it.

30. Watch the movie or read the book?

Both

31. Ever had a heartbreak?

Sort of but not really, im usually the one to break up with them first

32. Favorite show?

Adventure time or steven universe

33. Best day of your life?

When i met JD

34. Any talents?

Ive been told i can sing! I sing when i draw or when im just chillin outside. (id post a video of me singing but i aint got that confidence.)

35. Do you wish you could ever start over?

......sometimes.....

36. Any bad habits?

Chewing on my finngers and picking at my skin

37. Ever had a near death experience?

I almost got hit with a train when i was 5, i almost drowned when i was 10 or 11, i was almost trampled by cows (twice) when i was 11, and i almost fried myself 2 months ago!

38. Someone I can tell anything to?

I wanna say my boyfriend or girlfriend but my lack of telling them things says otherwise

39. Ever lost a loved one?

My grandma died a week after i was born but she neglected my mom so no one cared, my grandpa died last year on march 15th i think.

40. Do you believe in love?

I guess

41. Someone you hate/Dislike?

My brother kevyn, he tried to stab me multiple times when we were 7-10 and he always tried to drown me in the pool.

42. Are you okay?

I dont know anymore but i try to be

43. Relationship status?

Taken and happy.

Thats all of them! Thanks for asking!

#answerin the asks

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clownbeep · 5 years

Text

This is gonna be kinda brutal. But I want to put it into writing

Big vent/whats been going on

Hah... I guess this is like my life story or some shit...

Trigger warning ahead.. Depression and a bit of gore/suicide talk so if you are sensitive to that please, for your own sake and mental state you might not want to continue.

For those who dont want to hear a pretty dark vent, I understand.

And those who are just scrolling by feel free to scroll past. I just personally want to get this out.

If you have dealt with emotional neglect/abuse and need to know it isnt in your head this might be the post.

By writing this it feels like hopefully someone else will read this and realise certain things are NOT healthy.

If you are questioning if you are being emotionally neglected/abused (im speaking in a parental sense but even romantically or sexually) im not someone to give you answers, but the fact you are questioning it raises some red flags. In a healthy relationship you dont wonder those things.

Sorry for the long prelude but heres what I wanted to say

Ever since I was young, ive had bad ADHD, manic bipolar/depression, and sensory issues.

I was diagnosed around 13 I believe. My family (I didnt realise it then) always showed pity. Like I was some wild animal that couldnt be tamed and there was nothing they could do. Id do and say stupid attention seeking things just to try and get a shred of empathy.

My family didnt care.

When I was in the hospital for a suicide attempt regaurding pills and my liver had a chance of failing.. None of my family members cried over me. But a family friend. Someone not. Even. Related. Wept over me.

My family didnt care.

I cant say they never cared. They give me food water and luxuries like internet and a phone. For that I am grateful.

But in many other ways they have hurt me faar more than helped.

Once I got out of a short term stay in an inpatient mental facility I desperately needed contact with anyone who would care for me.

I have a younger sister, quite young probably around 7 at the time. She was a close friend of mine for that time. Id hang out with her so often to fill the gap in love it felt my family didnt give. One day I walked into the dining room and overheard my mother and father talking to my little sister. They told her to keep away because I wasnt "stable" because I was "dangerous" and could give her bad Ideas. And with one single action my only friend at the time and way to find happiness was taken away.

My family did not care.

When I stay in bed every day for months on end not knowing which day ill snap and end it all.... I get called lazy.

My family did not care

When I beg for medication to make me a functional human being they brush me off for years on end. Im losing my grip. I can barely remember things that have happened last week because I try so hard to forget everything its my automatic response to everything.

When I cant get to sleep because all of the memories come flooding back and im hit by wave after wave of horrific memories and the feeling if worthlessness... When I cant watch any videos or read posts about families because it brings on unwanted memories and emotions....

Is it me being dramatic then?

When you hear your family openly mocking and laughing about how stupid and dramatic and fake trans people are... How weird and unnatural and mentally insane these people are not knowing they are the very reason grsm and trans suicides are so high...

Am I a liar now? Am I insane?

When I tried to talk to them about my mental health issues. They took my only way of contact and made me feel like it was my own fault.

My family didnt care.

When I was nearly passed out shaking in a bathtub covered in wounds and blood all over... They showed pity, then lectured me for an hour for not telling them or for being impulsive and basically cleaned my wounds and sent me into my room.

My family didnt care.

Yes. I do agree, they cleaned my wounds, the physical side of showing care. However emotionally they were not there.

When my father drinks so heavilly every day he is home from work that he forgets half the things he tells you and can barely function.. They lecture my older sister for having a glass of wine (legal age)

They did not care.

My sister (23) tried for so many years to cling to what little attention she would get by getting good grades and going to college... She realised that it changed nothing about how my family felt toward her.... She snapped.

My family did not care.

She starves herself for a disease she does not have, she uses religion as an exuse to be one of the biggest christian extremists I personally know. Half the days she doesnt eat... Other days she burns book and gets rid of items for being demonic.

My lovely sister used to be kind and quite normal. However she couldnt find comfort in what little live her family gave. Starved for care she turned to religion to un unhealthy degree. Finding any way to keep her mind busy. Now I worry she will end up in the hospital for weighing so little.

My family did not care.

My oldest sister (27) Is married to a continuously cheating husband who she keeps letting back into her life. She was raised with a failing marrige and doesnt seem to see when she should call it quits.

Not to mention her husband has touched someone legally under the age of concent. Did she report him to the authorities? No.

All of these horrific things stemming from bad parenting. Unhealthy relationships and neglect.

Neglect emotionally can cause just as bad things as physical neglect. They are both horrifically dangerous in different ways.

These are the only big things I can remember... Basically age 15 and below are a complete blur to me and I cant remember much of it without thinking for a looong time. Even then I cant remember a lot of it... I feel like ive lost my whole damn childhood. And it hurts more than if they had just hit me or physically harmed me.

Im not underplaying physically harm. But in my personaly opinion I would rather my family have beaten me badly because at least then id have an easier way to prove to people how severe the abuse was. You can see bruises and confirm broken bones... But years of feeling completely useless and being shut off from most of the world other than the internet... It fucks you up in a way I dont think can be healed.

I dont know if I can ever love myself or... Remember things. Its terrifying to think Ill post this and a few weeks later probably not even rememner unless its brought up. Or meeting people and having conversations... And they are just... Gone.

Gone.

I suppose the biggest reason im writing this is well... In the future I dont want to forget in some ways.. I want like to be 100× as awesome knowing itll start as soon as im out of here..

If I dont have anything to compare it too then what is the point?

Ive layed out basically most of what I remember

A large amount of time I look around and nothing registers... Everything is familiar but I cant remember anything for a moment or two.. I feel like my memory is slipping so fast and im terrified.. I cant do anything to stop it and I cant make my mood be stable without the medication my family cant be bothered to get ...

I suppose this is a bit of a vent. I know its kind of everywhere and unorganized..

If im honest.. Tumblr is the only place where people have given me a home I wish I had..

I came out as trans here... Everyone was so damn supportive.. I didnt say anything but I cried hard and the kindness.. It was amazing.. It was such a jarring difference to how I feel when I say anything in real life.

Ive met friends here and ive had some much fun here. If youve stuck around this far thank you so much.. If you didnt I dont blame you.

I just wanted to share what has been flashing in my head these past few days.. It hurts a lot and ive even considered suicide recently..

Im trying hard. As hard as I can.. I have no escape though.

I cannot leave home. I cannot escape. Im not being dramatic.

CANT

LEAVE

And its terrifying because I know without medication or at least being somewhere AWAY from family.... I feel like im going to break soon.

I dont want to do anything stupid.. But some days I cant think straight and do things that harm myself and its not good. Its not okay. Im aware that I need help but I have no idea where to go/turn.. I have no ID or drivers liscence.. I have no transportation to and from a job to get money so I can leave... I live in the middle of nowhere.... I just..

I dont want to lose touch. I dont want to do anything bad.. I want to be functional.. I want to do more than eat and sleep my life away because I have nothing else to do..

Im so damn sick and tired of this all.. And at times I really do feel like there is only one way out.

Its always there and I just feel like one of these days im gonna be pushed over the edge and not be thinking clearly enough to stop it.

Im thinking semi clearly right now which is my im posting this.. Because im afraid and alone.

I have nowhere to go irl I have no friends Irl i just have tumblr and media and thats it. I dont expect anyone to be able to help I just wanted to write this so anyone knows what happens if I leave media..

If I tell my family my issues they will blow me off again for the 11th time or so (not exaggerated)

And if I do something to get sent to the hospital and get the help I need the cycle will continue with them being pissed and me getting sent home in a month or less anly for my family relationships to get worse..

Im spiraling fuether and further and I cant keep up the facade of being fine. I need help. And i have no way to get it. Ive just been suffering for years...

Sitting around and doing nothing but using your phone or drawing or whatever sound fun in theory... But if thats all youve been able to do for years with little to no real life social contact its gonna mess with your head... I dont want to be a shut in... I just

I dont know what to do.

Im sorry for rambling. I will most likely delete this later feeling embarrassed I posted this...

Im just tired..

#trigger warning #triggering #may be triggering #vent #emotional neglect #emotional abuse #suicide #suicide trigger #gore warning #memory problems #ramble #rambles

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im-just-having-fun-karen · 4 years

Note

any of the unusualish asks

Ill answer all of them also this is the first thing to ever be sent to this blog so congratulations! You're the first!

who’s your celebrity crush?

Donr have one

are you single or taken?

Single as of recent

rant. just do it

i suppose i could rant about a few topics.

COME BACK LATER

do you think its ok to separate the artist from the art?

Im not sure what you mean but if you mean removing a watermark or stealing credit then no.

how many accounts do you have?

3, this is my fanfic blog, my main is in my bio and a have a last one for an undertale au

how many pairs of shoes do you have?

3 if you dont count my one pair of slippers (1 pair was bought for me as a gift, 1 pair was given to my aunt who then gave it to me, and the last i share with my mom since they're technically hers but i just love boots)

opinion on… (specify to the person you’re asking to)

Well you didnt specify so ill just go with you!

Very kind and fun to talk to but we dont talk much and i wish we did more! You're willing to play the weird games i know of (the animal game ect) so thats fun and you're very open minded. You have some problems mentally and sometimes physically but i do too so we get along very well.

how many accounts do you follow?

I cant count them all

favorite brand of clothing?

Dont have one

name a dog

3B-027. Idk man id name a dog that

what unusual talent do you have?

I have sharp teeth and a strong jaw so i could bite a good chunk out of someones arm if i tried.

what’s the most interesting schools gossip you’ve ever heard?

Some bitch named megan liked the new kid who had been there for less then a day and claimed they were dating even tho she didnt know his name

ever prank called a store?

Nah

what’s your coffee order?

Dont have one, i dont usually drink coffee

what’s a question do you constantly get asked?

"Are you twins?" when me and my brother are in the same room

if you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

I'd get a tattoo of my mothers name with cat ears and a tail as well as her birthday

google the top song from the year you were born

No One

Alicia Keys · 2007

rant about your favorite musician

Ok so they're called cosmo sheldrake and their music so weird but really cool and i like it so much its unreal because its super dooper catchy but its also really peaceful my favorite song is Pelicans We and The Moss

what’s your favorite teacher you’ve ever had?

Ms Mast from 3rd grade, she knew i was gay before I knew i was gay

describe your blog in 3-5 words

Sassy bitch rarely writes

what’s a conspiracy you believe in?

None

if you could see any concert tonight what would you choose?

Cavetowns next one

if you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

Over eating

can you dance? sing?

I can sing, cant dance tho, im willing to post a video of me singing if someone asked but no one does

what’s something you can’t stop buying?

Nothing, im poor.

crowds or small groups?

Small groups

how long before a trip do you pack?

Idk, a few days

what celebrity would you rate a PERFECT 10?

Tom holand, 10/10 man has a frog in his mouth

what quote or inspirational setting do you think is bs?

Think postive. I hate it when people fuckin say that bullshit.

if you had to dye your hair an unnatural color right now, what would you choose?

Shinso purple or todoroki white

you can change one thing about your life right now. what are you changing?

The universe i live in and the family

how old do you get mistaken for?

13-16

what do you think about a lot

My own death, ocs, fanfics, things i could of done better

do you like your hogwarts house or do you wish you were a different one?

Im cool with being a ravenclaw

what does home mean to you?

Its where you make it, sometimes its people and sometimes its just a town.

what do you think you’d be arrested for?

Vandalism or murder of pedos and nazis

have you ever been called down to the principals office?

Yeah, alot.

post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

Soft irl but p sassy

Hair and all

describe your aesthetic

answer with one of your ‘school memes’ (inside jokes you have with your class/grade) with no explanation

Goddamn it mason stop eating the fucking spoons/what happened to your school assignment?

I ate it.

I-it was a 3 page homework assignment.. It was paper..

Yeah it didnt taste that good.

#answering the asks

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cockbiteproductions · 5 years

Note

primed to scream PRIMES! PRIMES! PRIMES!!

f i just typed the answer to most of these questions and chrome crashed so christ i have to fucking retype all these but much condensed because i am lazy.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate bars. but only milk. my mom buys exclusively Very Dark Chocolate though so i usually just stare at those and Wish.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

well bubblegum or cotton candy flavored stuff neither they both taste nauseating. if we’re talking about the actual stuff then bubblegum because i can pop it. this actually reminded me i have gum in the pantry from the beginning of the semester i havent even opened yet so now my roommates have you to thank for popping noises the next hr or so

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles because i dont like to drink soda quickly and so i want to close it and not let the carbon dioxide escape. soda cans a close second because it’s satisfying to open the tab.

7. earbuds or headphones?

wired earbuds because headphones are too big and clunky and you cant easily lay on your side with headphones on. but if my next pair of earbuds break within a month i might consider Switching because ive had 3 break on me in the past month and half and im at my wits end with earbuds.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i dont eat much for breakfast cause i want to sleep in until the last possible moment and i get stomachaches when i eat a lot in the morning but ill eat a piece of bread and yogurt maybe.

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring but that’s just because i havent used a lanyard before. i think i would like a lanyard. im constantly looking for my keys in bags.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

this pair of black sandals that i have tan lines on my feet from how much ive worn them

19. sleeping position?

ill sleep however... i like sleeping on my left side. on my stomach with my head to the right. on my back with my arms crossover my chest to keep warm. at the end of the bed with my head where my feet should be. i dont move at all when i sleep so freshman year when i had a lofted bed i think my roommate was a bit concerned in the beginning when i refused a bedrail because she thought i might fall. i never fell which was nice.

23. strange habits?

oh man idk i probably have a lot of those but nothing i can think about right now when im being put on the spot.

in elementary school i used to refuse to step on the yellow tiles at school.

29. best way to bond with you?

talk to me about the stuff i love!!!! and watch the stuff i love with me!!!! i am always down to [whatever the rabb.it replacement is these days] stuff with people and just generally both yell at each other and be passionate about stuff. currently what im passionate about is the stuff im screaming over at @winstonbillions so talk to me about that stuff!! please. i am always 3 seconds from screaming about ANY of that stuff.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

idk about outfits to kick ass and take names but i have outfits where i get my ass kicked and name taken aka what i wear to exams. which is my tower of pimps shirt which ive deemed lucky. is it lucky in any way? no, but i’m hoping if i wear it enough to exams it might.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag. suitcases are so large and unwieldily. that reminds me i have a suitcase of winter clothes in my trunk i need to take out.

41. last person you texted?

as in actual texts on my phone? that would be my dad. asking him if i should drop my class im failing.

as for the last person i instant messaged, that would be one of my mutuals through my musical theater sideblog im currently yelling at about [musical theater related interest]. im not kidding guys talk to me about the stuff i post about on @winstonbillions PLEASE

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

2 months ago i would have said hoodie but im kinda becoming a cardigan kind of person now. theyre just Soft and and Long and Casual and i love them. hoodies are too hard to take off.

47. favorite type of cheese?

mild cheddar, american, and mozzarella. i actually only Recently started cataloging cheeses in my brain to their actual names so for my entire life i was like i just like cheese even though there are certain ones i hate like swiss and blue cheese.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

a bit cold and a bit tired from typing all the answers to all these asks tbh. but other than that good. i just cut my nails because they were atrociously long.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“worm” or “fuck” or “no!” according to my roommate

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

oh my ogdokh oym ogdos sd fdospohm to mo edf ucmign fugod mfyo uacant just ask me this im going to absolutely die

in absolutely no order, all from completely from memory, and favorite for a variety of different reasons

“fuck you, math man. if you’re such a genius why can’t you count to loyalty” - mafee in 4x11 lamster billions

“captain, he think, and feels that much more powerful” - luminousbeings in you don’t have to (say yes) the star trek fic

“more than you know, i understand wanting to walk away from the jedi”“i know.” - anakin skywalker and ahsoka tano in 5x12 the wrong jedi star wars the clone wars

“i won’t leave you, not this time.” “then you will die” - ahsoka tano and darth vader in 2x12 twilight of the apprentice star wars rebels

“there is nothing so pure as a man on a mission. when faced with the fire, never quivers or runs. there is nothing so noble as sticking together, for lonely is the life lead when sticking to its guns." - narrator in bloodsong of love by joe iconis

“now i’ve got myself a name and i’m ready to risk it with a battle cry disguised as a sing-along” - never heard nothing by joe iconis

“i’m frickin done with being the loser, the wuss, the underdog. being the misfit, the old school analog. being the oddball, the weakling freak. the failure, the sucker, the please-don’t-speak. oh i can’t hardly wait for the moment when i’m not the loser the geek or whatever, ever again” - jeremy heere in be more chill by joe iconis

“i’m tired of being the person that everyone thinks that i am” - various in be more chill by joe iconis

“q is for quantitative, baby!” - winston in 4x12 extreme sandbox billions

“the cheering is just as important as the song” - lisa and ms. werring in the black suits by joe iconis

“first, best destiny” - spock in star trek ii wrath of khan

“be proud of your place in the cosmos. it is small, and yet it is. how unlikely. how fantastic, and stupid. and excellent.” - cecil in welcome to night vale old oak doors part b

“are we living a life that is safe from harm? of course not. we never are. the questions is are we living a life that is worth the harm?” - cecil in welcome to night vale parade day

“as I turned and my eyes beheld you, i displayed emotion. i beg forgiveness.” - spock somewhere in star trek tos

“the sky collapsed without a sound. these broken pieces hit the ground. the rain fell down around me and i drowned, but i will save you.” - part of me from dear evan hansen

“this is, after all, the story of how i died” - epsilon in the rvb13 trailer

“and while the law has many punishments for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors we inflict on ourselves.” - the director in the s6 finale of red vs blue

that was in no way an exhaustive list but all i could think of at the moment

67. good luck charms?

not really any tbh. i try to wear my tower of pimps shirt whenever i take an exam but that’s about it.

71. least favorite pattern?

what does this even fucking mean?????? i will say the observer design pattern in programming because i don’t understand it well despite having used it twice now.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

oh god idk why are all these questions getting harder. nothing i can think of at the moment.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i say school id tentatively, but neither of them looks great. my school id photo was a selfie.

83. writing or drawing?

writing. i wish to GOD i could draw and i probably could if i put in the amount of time i need to to learn how to draw but im a lazy bastard. but i’m not that great at writing either as i’ve found out. everything is way too short and out of character and too venty and i am weird about letting people i know read what i write (sorry @ all the people who keep asking me to let them read my writing. it’s not that great you’re not missing out at all and i hate the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known) and i abandon ideas literal minutes after getting them.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

what the fuck kind of question is this?????? i GUESS the answer should be me but uh i am not even putting myself before myself as i am procrastinating on a shitload of homework with this. i guess my “close” friends. they’re pretty chill. but generally ill do anything for anyone all you have to do is ask.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4, my own, my home landline, my dad’s cell, and my dad’s work.

#not rt #teresa answers stuff #long post #jesus christ sorry for the infodump #Anonymous

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kae-karo · 5 years

Note

[1] hi!! so idk if you've seen dan speaking at the mental health panel or not, but there was one part that hit me really hard and id love to know your thoughts on it! basically he was saying that often content creators, and people in general, are struggling with their mental health the most when it seems like they're thriving (uploading constantly, getting good grades, etc) but everyone thinks they're fine. which is literally my life rn but i can't take a break from overworking myself bc i need

[2] to get into college. do you have any advice abt how to provide for my future while still taking care of myself? also, i just want to thank you for running such a healthy and positive blog bc it has helped me thru some difficult times, and you seem like such a thoughtful and caring person!

hi dear! oh no :( I'm so sorry, that's such a hard position to be in - I havent been in school for a few years, and not in high school since 2012 yikes lmao, so I'm sure things have changed a bit but hopefully I can still give some advice that helps?

I'd say first and foremost, talk to a trusted adult you know in person about how you're feeling - whether that be a parent, older sibling, favorite teacher, advisor, etc. they may have advice more specific to your situation that might take into account details I dont know. and while this is my first piece of advice, it can also be the hardest? sometimes facing our demons and being honest about them with others who have only seen our "good side" can feel impossible, but it can be a crucial step to help build a support system that you can go to when you feel you're struggling

the next thing I'd say is, on a small scale, start taking time for yourself. I know that's like. the hardest thing to do when you have like 6hr of homework a night, minimum, plus clubs or sports or other activities that take time, but literally even sneaking five minutes between some bits of homework to do something that's calming and centering for you can make a difference - if you can grab five minutes to go sit in a space you feel comfortable, away from your work, to breathe and think about something other than your work, that can be helpful

the next one is sorta like. tangential, but take care of your body as well - you're still a growing and developing human, so this is ESPECIALLY important, but drinking lots of water (and not too many sugary drinks/chemical drinks) and eating veggies and getting enough protein can literally make such a big difference in your brains ability to function at it's best. the other important thing here is sleep - every body is different, so keep in mind what your body does best on and (when you can) aim for that. between hydration, good nutrition, and sufficient sleep, you're laying a foundation that can help your brain be more successful throughout the day

I wish, ultimately, i had a perfect answer for the fucked up school system (esp in America which is what I'm most familiar with), but it honestly sets you up to fail. what (unintentionally) worked well for me was having a blow-off class or two - classes that were easy for me (like sign language, or French 1 after I'd already taken Spanish for several years) and could help boost my GPA without stressing me out as much. if you can find those classes- and definitely look for the ones that are easy for YOU, don't just ask around for the easiest classes - that can be a really nice break in your day and help relieve you of some after-school stress

here's another "honesty is the best policy" situation - if you find yourself struggling to understand a concept, or homework is taking you so much longer than some of your peers (or the teacher says theres only an hour of hw a night and you end up spending far longer on it) talk to the teacher! tell them you're struggling, and ask if you can get some help understanding a topic. be specific about what you dont understand (dont just go "I dont get it") and explain your thought process - this can help teachers understand where you're veering off the path and what you might be missing. and, more importantly, if you're coming in for help, they're more likely to be lenient with you because they know you're trying (yes I'm aware that was more a "school help in general" bit of advice but in case that's something you're struggling with)

now heres....maybe some controversial advice. take calculated risks. example: if a teacher has a policy where they drop your lowest homework grade in a class and you're doing alright in that class, but you have a day where you're saddled with WAY too much work for another class where you're struggling, it's okay to say "okay, today I need to go to sleep by 10pm, I can either finish this difficult homework or complete homework for the class that will drop a grade", sometimes it makes more sense to skip that one homework and get a zero to spend time dedicated to the class you're struggling in and get rest. in a similar vein, there is also a limit to studying - there is a point where you physically cannot absorb more knowledge. it is so much better for your brain - both from a focus and memory standpoint - to get a little extra sleep than to stay up late studying well past the point where you will retain knowledge.

now....again, I havent been applying to colleges in ages so my advice might be a bit stale, but colleges tend to look for good grades but also challenging classes, or improvement over time in classes, etc etc. they want to know you're working hard, and that you have diverse interests. college apps are a bit like resumes honestly, except you cant lie about your GPA. but like. you can fluff everything else. literally EVERYTHING becomes fair game with college apps. you can talk about fanfic or a fandom you're in if you phrase it the right way, like there are barely rules lmao. and you can make yourself sound very appealing

so my advice would be basically this: work hard, but learn your personal limits. figure out how much sleep a night makes you feel awake and focused the next day (again, it varies!) and aim for that as much as you can. try to eat nutritiously when you can, and drink lots of water. dedicate time to your homework and studying, but be sure to take regular breaks and ACTUALLY shift your brain away from your work during those breaks. and it's also good to dedicate time to life activities - like I said, colleges want to know you're a diverse person. spend time in clubs you like or playing sports if that's your thing, or do things unconnected to school. and remember, you can fluff that all up on a college app! but also remember - you have to live with you for the rest of your life, and there are so so many paths to a good job or a college education if that's what you decide you want, be sure to prioritize your health as much as you can. the education system tricks you into this never ending cycle of "if I just push through ___________ I'll get to ___________!" and taking that through your life can be really challenging and exhausting. I need to acknowledge that some of this is easy for me to say - I was a good test taker in high school, I went to college, and I bullshitted my way through (that's a whole other story lmao) but like. I need to acknowledge that, by some privilege and luck, I do have a college education. so when i say this next thing, please take it with a grain of salt, but there is more to life than chasing what society tells us to chase - there is family, there are friends, relationships, hobbies and interests and love and dreams and spending hours playing video games and SLEEP and getting sunburned cause you spent too long out under the sun photosynthesizing and collecting pens or shiny rocks and ANIMALS there is so so so much in life and I hate with such a burning passion that, for the first 22 years of our lives, we are told the ONLY thing in life is getting through college, getting a degree. again, I need to acknowledge that I say that with a background of privilege, and that education can help people get out of bad situations, etc, but there are many paths to education and they dont all require you to put life on hold to get there

let me tell u a story real quick, cause my education looks (from the outside) "easy" (turns out I had depression and eating disorders of all kinds yeehaw !!!!). my sister did NOT have an easy time in school - my parents could afford it, so she had a tutor for some of her challenging subjects, but she also dealt with anxiety and depression the entire time. she didnt get into the college she wanted to, but got put in a sort of program where, if she got good enough grades in some community college courses, she could get into the school. so she worked her ass off, dove even deeper into her mental health issues, but eventually did get in. and then she had challenging classes and didnt have a great support system, and she ended up failing out of many of her classes, to the point where she got put on academic probation. so she took a year off, got a job at a daycare, and I have literally never seen her happier or more well-adjusted. shes going back to school now, for early childhood education, and working part time at the daycare while she takes a light course load at school

another story for you - my aunt graduated high school and went straight into the workforce. she came from a dirt-poor family and couldn't afford it. she bounced around a bit, but eventually found company that she worked well with. they paid for her to go to school, and she finally got a degree many years after what we would consider "traditional". she had a few other jobs, but shes been at her current company now going on 20 years, has been through several promotions, and works directly with a c-suite employee. she is also the only woman in her office, a very traditional trucking company where she works with engineers on a daily basis

there are many paths to education, if that's where you want to go, and it's okay if it ends up looking different from the traditional path were told to follow. do what you can to avoid sacrificing your mental health for an education - if its what you want, you will get there. and remember to ask for help along the way!! I hope that helps a little, dear

#advice

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itskellykh · 5 years

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1. What’s the wisest piece of advice your mother has ever given you?

“who cares”

2. What was the worst haircut that you’ve ever gotten?

every single one.

3. If you died tomorrow, who do you think your death would impact the most?

my dad

4. What question do you not want me to ask you?

idgaf ask anything

5. What was your favorite snack when you were a kid?

oranges

6. How did you come up with the name for your pet?

his shelter named him

7. What is the worst physical pain that you’ve ever experienced?

KIDNEY STONE FUCK THOSE

8. What is the worst emotional pain that you’ve ever experienced?

Sam

9. What book was so bad that you didn’t even finish it?

i hardly finish books b/c im too impatient

10. Are there any colors that you refuse to wear?

nah all colors are dope

11. What one thing are you most proud of accomplishing?

adopting my dog

12. If you could be interviewed on any talk show, which one would it be?

none tbh.. id much rather be interviewed by a youtuber

13. What’s the scariest ghost story that you’ve ever been told?

idfw them

14. Are there any dreams or nightmares that stick out from when you were a child?

mom getting killed by a bear

15. What do you think is the worst crime a human could commit?

murder

16. If you were reincarnated, would you want to be a boy or a girl in your next life?

idunoo being a guy would be pretty cool

17. What artist do you wish would be taken off the radio?

lol i work in radio so all of them

18. Have you ever witnessed something unexplainable?

nah

19. If you could go back to high school, what would you do differently?

not be as shy. but honestly my hs life was dope so no regrets

20. How long do you think you could last without having intercourse?

lol for the rest of my life.. at the pace im going

21. Are there any mythical creatures that you believe in?

22. Is there a specific teacher that made your life miserable?

i dont let anyone control my life

23. What TV show or movie do you want to watch, but haven’t gotten around to it yet?

none ... need suggestions

24. Do you think any of your coworkers deserve to be fired?

yes

25. When you were little, what scenarios did your Barbies (or G.I. Joes) act out?

new kid at school lol

26. Do you like the color of your eyes?

the only thing i like about myself

27. Do you believe that animals experience emotions in the same way that humans do?

absolutely. i think they love way harder and i admire them for that

28. What’s the most embarrassing dare you’ve ever completed?

got up on stage and sang high school musical

29. What common food have you never actually tried?

rabbit or duck i suppose

30. What’s your favorite cat breed?

all

31. What’s your favorite section of the newspaper?

sports

32. Which 90s show do you wish they’d bring back?

umm idk lol i liked lizzie mcquire tho. i think thats 2000s

33. Did your parents ever tell you why they chose your name?

yeah .. and it’s bs. 0 thought into it.

34. What is one memory that you wish you could erase from your mind?

dude so many. probably that dude yelling at me at the gym

35. What TV show did you once love, but eventually gave up on watching, because it got that bad?

TWD

36. What (if anything) were you bullied over when you were little?

nah not really

37. What’s your favorite font to use when you type?

default lol lazy af

38. What age were your parents when they had you?

30 and 29

39. What’s the most embarrassing video in your recent Youtube history?

so many lol something probably like some club penguin shit

40. Have you ever seen a person (or a dog or a cow) give birth?

hell no

41. Do you think you’re overpaid or underpaid?

both if that makes sense xD

42. Have you ever killed a houseplant?

yep :(

43. Is there a specific number that holds a lot of meaning to you?

44. On average, how many times do you wake up in the middle of the night?

im diagnosed with insomnia so ......

45. Do you know your IQ?

nope and dont care

46. Do you know your Myers Briggs personality type?

wtf is that

47. Which Netflix show do you think is overrated?

they’re all p good tbh

48. What is your favorite month of the year?

october

49. Which family member do you secretly hate?

im not going to say i hate anyone bc i dont

50. Has a celebrity ever replied to one of your Tweets?

i dont think so lol

#gtkm #get to know me #questions #50 questions

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weeklymusings-blog · 5 years

Text

“I chooseth this fate of mine own free will” | [blog #1 - Enriquez]

Frankly put, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly who I am — humans, fickle beings that we are, constantly change and evolve, after all. The Toni that typed this sentence is a far different Toni than the one living in the present moment that you are reading this. What I can tell you instead is who I was, and how I became me.

I am the product of everything that was and everything that never will be. I am the result of all my past actions, and all that I have ever given up. I am the aftereffects of my free will. ‘I chooseth this fate of mine own free will…’ — a line from a game I’ve played once before. It’s a philosophy I’ve taken to heart. Good or bad, right or wrong — ultimately, I have chosen this path and these choices have shaped what you would call ‘me.’

I am the child who chose anime and video games over sports and the outdoors. I am the child who has wept and mourned on behalf of characters who will never exist. I am the child who has willfully dedicated over 50 days worth of hours dedicated to anime alone; I am the child who has countless hours on video games. I am the child who does not regret any of this. You ask me why and I ask you why not. I suppose it’s probably because it was never real humans who kept me grounded, but these fictional characters who gave me hope and the will to see another day. I may be deluded in these fantasy worlds but I’d much rather be deluded than a fool buried six feet under. I’m rather inclined to think that most people would agree.

(Or well, I do hope that’s the case — to those who wish me ill otherwise, well. Rather unfortunate.)

Anime constitutes but a small part of me … is what I’d like to say, but I’ve always been taught that it’s bad to lie. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m hopelessly dependent on anime and am probably far too invested in it. Looking back at it now, I can see exactly how I fell deeper and deeper into anime. I’m too far gone, some would say; anime has been such an integral part of my life that I simply can’t escape now. Day in and day out, I was and am surrounded by it. Past all the negative things it brought me, anime has also blessed me with so many things: feelings, teachings, entertainment, among others. It’s defined me in so many ways, and it’s probably the first thing anyone thinks when they meet me.

Anime has made me a little more optimistic than your average kid; being surrounded by seemingly invincible protagonists do that to you, apparently. Hope is such a crucial thing that I’ve learned from all the anime that I’ve seen. A character once said, “Hope is about going forward.” That struck me deeply, and it inspired something within me to just keep on moving to the future. It was not limited to this anime alone, of course; many anime emphasize the value of standing back up after you’ve been brown and beaten. The courage to take another step and the will to live on for even another second— I believe that is what hope is.

On the flip side, anime also gave me my “bahala na” nature; optimism and foolishness are, more often than not, sides of the same coin after all. I often find myself moving far too slowly, far too carelessly, under the assumption that “everything will be alright.” While I’m still an advocate for taking life by your own pace, I definitely take that far too literally. I’ve felt the consequences of this far too many times than I’d like to admit, but what can you do? The past is the past, no use in dwelling now.

Now, if you’ve noticed, in this entire essay, I’ve never really answered the question “who am I?” I’ve retold tales and anecdotes centered all around my undying love for anime, but I’ve never fully addressed what kind of personality I have. It’s a rather good question I suppose, but it’s not one that I can answer. I don’t think I have a personality, in all honesty. Take anime away from me, and what’s left? Nothing.

It’s a sad fate, but it’s who I’ve become. Again, I don’t regret any single part of it. Ultimately, it was my decision to become who I am today. Perhaps, in an alternate world, I could have been so much more. Maybe I would have become someone invested in sports, or maybe I would be an amazing violinist.

But that isn’t this world.

I am Toni, the child invested in anime, art, video games and so much more. I am Toni, asocial, introverted, and far too meek. I am Toni, flawed and imperfect — but I am Toni, living, breathing, and content with who I am.

#enriquezss11

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comicteaparty · 6 years

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June 14th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on June 14th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Obelisk by Ashley McCammon.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing Obelisk by Ashley McCammon~! (http://www.obeliskcomic.com/) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer, and you can pay them no mind if you wish. If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! As a bonus, each chat a top comment will be picked and featured in the archives and on an ad for CTP! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

🌟Draco Plato🌟

The story has flowed so smoothly so far that it'd be hard for me to pick a certain scene as a favorite. I've really enjoyed the fluidity of the art, with it's beautiful backgrounds and very human seeming characters. Evie has been quite interesting to get to know so far and I'm looking forward to learning more about her as the story goes on.

Her hair has been particularly fascinating to me, I adore how it's drawn.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i appreciate how shes been drawn with a variety of hair styles and clothing. its one of those unnecessary details that can add a lot of life and make everything feel less like a video game.

but man the backgrounds. those are some heavily detailed backgrounds with a lot of love and care put into them and they really express the world so well

if i had to pick a favorite scene id pick when we meet margot. i really like the slight additions of red because something about the wispy way its drawn expressives a hint of...something sinister

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I really enjoyed that too, it also I think was the point where the real feel of the story came into play

and I think we really got a much better grasp on evie(edited)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes though for eve's character i enjoyed the current page aftermath a bit more. if only cause i like that she kind of had a really human reaction to being told to butt out of things that weren't her business XD

🌟Draco Plato🌟

oh yeah, for sure!

I'm really looking forward to seeing where the current story arc is heading(edited)

zestwitch

I love the whole comic so far but I gotta say the way the party scene was drawn is so memorable for me, the panel variation is so creatively done and makes each page feel so energetic

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I liked the scene where Eve was partly hung over and came into the kitchen and her brother regaled her with all the info off a casual remark. I think part of what made that stick too was realizing in the post-script how it was based on REAL history.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

the party scene was especially well done I thought too! Really captured the feeling of what being there would be like

zestwitch

The comic also has so many small details in the sidelines that make the world feel incredibly well rounded and rich like I can tell a ton of research was put into this and that makes me so much more excited about where it's going

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Speaking of how things are drawn, fascinating plan to really only have red be the outsider colour. Definitely makes certain things pop.

Yeah, I have no idea how much research was put into fashions and trends of the time period, but I have to imagine a ton.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah i've researched that time quite a bit and you can really tell that the creator put a lot of work into accuracy

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Speaking as someone who has almost zero knowledge of the time period, I find I can still appreciate it.

In modern day, they'd be all over that concussion issue from falling off a stool.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i liked eve being hung over too just because how it was draw i think had subtle details other comics dont really capture when its depicted. like just the way her face is like "what is life i hate this damn sun why am i awake."

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Interesting how it led into the flashback memories too.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh hey there

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hey super~!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Glad to be here!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i thought it was interesting how the flashback memories were juxtaposed with that scene.

and how it transitioned to it

i also enjoy the hangover scene just cause i can relate to eve being partly aware of a thing but having no interest while the other person just rambles on passionately

and youre just like yeah okay

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That may also be part of why I liked it. ^.-

I wonder if we'll meet this Alice.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I really liked her hair and nightgown in the hang over scene

saetje

I agree the story flows so well it’s hard to pick a favorite scene- it’s also so early! But, if I’m honest? Margot’s introduction b/c dayyuuum

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

She did have a commanding presence.

saetje

my gay heart can’t handle her

I so appreciate all the research into costume and setting design as well! I simply adore period pieces so I appreciate the effort on that front

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Daww~

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 2. Throughout the comic we meet an interesting cast of side characters, from Eve’s friends to the seemingly criminal Peter Murphy to Agostino. Was there any side character that caught your eye, and if so why? When it comes to Peter and Agostino, do you think we will be seeing more of them? If so, in what way? Will Agostino’s interaction with Margot affect him in some dire way? What do you think will happen if Eve meets Peter? Why do you think Eve isn’t fond of her brother’s new fiancée? Are there any other character details you think the comic might explore?

saetje

I really liked Agostino’s reaction to Margot, it’s so foreboding. I most definitely feel we’ll be seeing all the characters that have introduced so far, again. I must say the story so far has so seamlessly and entertainingly set up many relationships, varied characters, and intrigue to delve into that it’s exciting waiting for what comes next!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I admit, I'm curious about seeing Eve and Alice... wondering what it is she's not fond of, whether it's something about personality or just the way she dresses and talks to her brother...

saetje

I just feel like they’ve set up a lot of questions we want answered all wrapped up in a varied and entertaining cast

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Agostino may be all hypnotized now.

saetje

yeah it’s possible- going a sort of Renfield on us?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i do think weve got an interesting plate of characters going on here who are gonna have some future interesting and interactions with eve thatll take the story to unexpected places.

i really loved the way whatever happened to agostino was depicted

i can see why he freaked

though im really curious why only he was effected

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I do want to add in this story looks like it could be fun as a live action flick, seems like it could work

especially for it's early 1900's setting

saetje

I could see it adapted fairly well!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I'm pretty sure he was affected because it was his blood left behind when he moved the crate into the place initially. They've already got a sample of him.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Glad you agree, Saetje.

saetje

But the comic as the media for the story itself here is still done really well. I like how the author plays with visual narrative and panel flow

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea, it's done extremely well

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Interesting that the owners (possible vampires?) are into antiques. I'd figure it'd be something that they could collect more blood samples from.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

especially all the markerwork

saetje

Oh yeah. That was my take too, they already have some blood from him. But time will tell

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Though I guess if you've got all those children's toys left over from 300 years ago... ^.^

...Then again, they came overseas with only the one box. So idk.

Do you think all the sites being investigated are owned by the same group?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

To tie it back in, maybe that Peter guy is their broker.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

http://www.obeliskcomic.com/comic/chapter-1/p43/ OMG CUTE KID

Some quality family time. I hope everyone celebrating has a lovely holiday, and if not, I hope you have a lovely day anyway. I’ll see you all next week!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe it wasnt so much that it was a blood connection thing but in that the blood told margot hed been to the shop before and therefore wanted him to gtfo. since he helped with delivery.

on a different note i do want to say im in math's corner and super want to know why eve doesnt care for alice O_O

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I'm pretty sure she was gtfo-ing him, but I still feel like it was through the blood somehow.

Related to what SJ posted, maybe it's because Eve helped to raise her brother, and doesn't like that the status quo is being messed with? Though Alice could also be real shallow, who knows.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Perhaps

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe Alice is also a vampire!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that could be. and again could just be personality. maybe alice just tried to get eve to do lots of thing eve wasnt comfortable with in an attempt to bond. or maybe alice aggressively tries to set eve up with ppl

the mystery increases!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

The town is going to be completely taken over by vampires. Eve will be the only real woman left.

It's like that old tv show about the pod people.

draculing

(I will confirm or deny nothing but I love seeing everyone's thoughts and theories so far )

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hey there!

Pleased to see ya!

saetje

Welcome! Thanks for the lovely comic

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

And thank you as well~

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Hihi draculing! I like tossing out crazy theories, don't worry about me.

draculing

Hi~ I'm in and out a bit but it's good to be here

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

also omg Marghot looks so handsome~

draculing

The comic is still so early on its cool to see that people are already guessing at stuff

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thanks for being here draculing~!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Eve will win Margot's heart by teaching her to ride a bicycle.

draculing

And yes Margot is the Most handsome

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

She is and I love her (edited)

Everything about her looks and personality(edited)

she's so(edited)

dandy

draculing

She's a lady ;D

saetje

Yeah Margot is actually I was under the impression Margot is female? Or they-them?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Well that's not the first time I'vewgotten my genders confused

draculing

Margot is a butch woman, dw i definitely get that a lot

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lmao

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Heh. Probably the pants, I don't think ladies wore them much, but I know little to nothing of the time period.

saetje

Ok well I love Margot as I’ve said throughout this chat UM I can’t wait for vampire intrigue romance adventures

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

heehee~

And I made it to the end of the story so far

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I get the vibe that Eve is into the ladies. The way she blushes sometimes, and is upset about not being married herself yet.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

It sure has come a long way since it first started~

saetje

I... completely read Eve as queer? She also hangs out with a cast of LGBT folks yes?

draculing

They wore pants (or bloomers like eve's bike pants) if they were doing sports or being tomboyish but it was still pretty rare and not looked on fondly

Actual men's clothing was not a thing for women yet except for in theater/music halls

saetje

Er- that being what her friend circle is/the party scene as about

draculing

Or yknow... gay circles

Yeah pretty much!

saetje

I appreciate all the research you’ve done into period clothing and setting!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh really?

saetje

I really love horror/romance time periods and I love seeing all the different props and outfits

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Cool about the info. I'd ship Eve and Alice, just to be contrary, except we know they don't get along. Unless... that's just what they want others to think. (edited)

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I was actually about to ask how much you researched 1900's/1910's society and such

draculing

I wanted to establish that Eve has a social circle of other queer people and they aren't miserable or self hating

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

ooohhhh

saetje

I really appreciated the party scene tbh

draculing

Cuz thats all we ever get from historical settings usually

With lgbt characters

saetje

Yes!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

LGBT characters are always welcome

saetje

As a queer person it meant a lot to me

draculing

Yeah its really personal to me and I'm glad it resonates!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'm pro-LGBT to the end.

saetje

Because I love time period pieces but so many gay romances or lgbt characters are so depressing in that setting. I enjoyed that Eve has a friend group that celebrated themselves and seemed happy

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 3. As Eve hunts down a lost property, she runs into the mysterious shop owner Margot who somehow bought one of her father’s properties. Who exactly is Margot do you think? Why do you think Margot has moved into the property now of all times, and why do you think Margot chose to run an antiques store? Why do you think Margot was so defensive about Eve’s questions (despite there being simpler, more polite answers as Eve points out)? Do you think Eve will continue to interrogate Margot for information, and do you think she will succeed? Do you think it’s even safe for Eve to interact with Margot given what happened to Agostino? Do you have any other theories about Margot?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Margot is secretly a werewolf.

saetje

And I think it (the party scene) was a nice way to set up Eve as queer, it was, to me, obvious her preferences after the party scene without being voyeuristic or over the top of that makes sense? Just enough.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Seriously though, she must be part of some syndicate or something. To get that shop set up in so little time.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I have a feeling it may have something to do with that ring.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Or the djinn/genie inside it.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

If it's not her well-sculpted legs

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Or those of the djinn/genie.

So, actually, it's probably a bloodstone or something. I wonder if Eve will research.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Maybe.

I never thought "bloodstone"

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Actually.... is it possible that Margot or her syndicate killed Eve's father in the first place?

saetje

I get the feeling there’s going to be some romantic Margot/Eve back and forth and I look forward to that, but I think ultimately Margot will be dangerous- or at least as it’s set up now, every storytelling sign points foreboding when it comes to Margot(edited)

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"Sign over this property. Good, excellent. Oh no, you fell down a flight of stairs."

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i feel like if they were responsible theyd know he was dead and not have the reaction that was had over it.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

Thankfully he lived

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Well, we only know Margot's reaction.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i definitely forsee eve pestering margot more. cause im willing to bet shes either 1) going to run into a dead end making margot her only option for answers or 2) shes gonna find peter and peter is going to make her super duper suspicious by saying things like "you dont want to know nun ya business."

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"I'm not a nun!"

Eve strikes me as the type who might lurk outside the place to see if other leads show up. That could make Margot decide to just tell her stuff to get rid of her, since "just go away" failed.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

oh i hope eve comes back and is like "im here to buy something you cant kick me out."

but yeah. margot is....isnt doing a good job of making her go away. there were so many better answers then the shifty eye nun ya business XD

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That would be a clever way of doing things too. "The customer is always right." To be fair, Margot was pretty nice up front too, remarking on how she should have heard someone come in... it's only the details of how they got the place that seems to have vexed her.

saetje

Maybe she WANTS Eve to come back I feel like Margot knows how to throw a line and reel em in with intrigue and mystery

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Also, did Margot arrive in the box? Or was she simply hired to deal with some other dude who now lives upstairs who is a vampire? Maybe SHE'S under control, thanks to the ring. And Eve frees her from the evil spell.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Maybe

The personality seems to hit at it

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"Only a kiss can save me from this vampire ring."

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i assume margot was in the box. i think margot is too commanding of a presence to be someone elses mindslave.

and thats true

it could be margot wants eve to come back

alternatively maybe margot hires peter and peter tells eve its in her best interest to stay away or something might happen to her brothers fiancee O_O

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

There is that, or at least not be taken in quite as quickly as seems to have been the case.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

and eve will be like "great good thing i dont like alice"

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"You don't want to kiss me? Oh, I guess I'll simply have to get Alice to do it..." "You wouldn't dare."

Eve's brother walks in and is all, uhhhhhh....

saetje

I get the feeling it’s going to be Hattie/Eve

I felt like that was hinted at too in the party scene?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That's possible. I admit I'm bad for the names, as usual.

Also, I like going for the improbable ships.

saetje

Hattie is the blond friend who took her to the party and there was a panel where it was like their hands almost touched/had been holding and left etc. just feels like it’s possible we might have a romance starting with Eve and Hattie with Margot in there messing it up. But again- so early rn hard to make predictions!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Makes sense... was she the one who opened the old wine?

saetje

Yes I think so!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

'kk.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i would like to see more of hattie before i put my eggs in that basket. i feel of all the friends she was the one i feel most distant from sadly :"D even though i thought her design was snazzy

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, it could be a one way relationship there.

Maybe that's why Eve hasn't been hanging with them as much...? I think that was implied.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe although i assumed its cause shes still not quite over her father's death

grief does take time

QUESTION 4. As we learn from Eve, some documents on her father’s properties seem to be missing. Further, he seemed to know possible criminal Peter Murphy and mysterious Margot. Why and how do you think Eve’s father got involved with such people? Was it blackmail, some sort of under the table charity, or something else? Do you think his co-worker Alex knew about the dealings, or was it something private to Eve’s father? If it’s the latter, why do you believe he’d keep it a secret? Do you think Margot’s shop is the only missing property, or do you suspect Eve might find even more? Even if Eve finds the answers to all these questions, do you think she can or would do anything about the situation? Lastly, do these missing properties have anything to do with her father being dead?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Right, that's a good point too. Though you'd think that you'd want others to help console you.

Her father was apparently really good with records and bookkeeping. Maybe he was doing some work on the side that turned out to be shadier than he thought... the flashback seemed to imply that they might have had money troubles. What with Dad not being able to pay the nanny enough wages to keep her on.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

could be. it was implied in that scene that he was also a single father too at that point right?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It was, yes. Maybe the mother died in childbirth?

So Dad took on shady business deals to help make ends meet. Probably why he sold off properties and kept it all locked in that box.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that seems very plausible for how he got involved. albeit alternatively, maybe thats why they have money troubles

is that he was secret selling properties for a low cost and had to cover it up so it wouldnt be discovered

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

True, hard to say which came first. Oh, that's a good theory.

Maybe Peter knows him... just went into business for himself after the death...

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Maybe so.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

peter and the dad were clearly best friends from primary O_O

im curious about his death cause i feel like it must have been unexpected? cause he certainly didnt clean up his affairs. in the sense that ya know he never said "eve by the way i sold some properties to vampires. surprise."

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, that's a good point. Things were left in something of a disarray at the business too.

Interesting how his daughter has been able to take over.

"She has a ... STAKE, in the business."

draculing

(Re: research question way earlier, I have a lot of 1900s fashion catalogue reprints and PDFs of 1890s-1900s sears catalogues!! I love.. clothing as personality.. so details are important to me)

Lmao niceee

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Oh wow, nifty. Is that part of why it's been set in the States, like that's where the catalogues are from?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh nice!

That sounds like a good way to get research, all those old catalogues~

Make sure you keep em safe! I bet they'd be considered collectables in this day and age.

draculing

Nah I'm just from New Jersey ;; i grew up going into NYC and went to school there so I have a big attachment to the history and feel of it

Aw i dont have anything original sadly, it would be real cool if i did

saetje

I own a few Edwardian sears catalogues too and it’s such a treasure trove tbh. As I’ve said, I appreciate all the detail you’ve put into your costume and setting design. Every character’s clothing choices really does say something strong about them

draculing

Its also a good setting for like.. the immigration/othering themes often attached to vampire stories

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Aah

and yea that's understandable

saetje

Ohh that’s a cool take

draculing

It's not at the forefront of the narrative but each character's sort of.. class and life situation is involved in their design and that plays into it

Hopefully I'm not derailing the convo too much by jumping back to that!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That makes sense. Nope, just thinking theories over here.

Alice is secretly behind everything.

saetje

yeah we’re mostly just speculating based off what we have so far, it’s nice to get insight into the creation a bit!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

nah your fine.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Seconding saetje

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I was also trying to think about when the New York World's Fair was, but it was like, 1939, so never mind. I don't know historical details.

draculing

I've had a lot of stuff where I've realized "wait this hasn't happened yet how weird"

Like... the titanic sinking

If my comic hits 1910 will it address that? We just don't know

*1912

saetje

is there anything like prop wise you’ve wanted to put in and then had to go “oh wait. Not invented yet”

draculing

Ohhh yeah for sure

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Sliced bread?

saetje

Because I imagine there’s so many little things we take for granted now that they didn’t have back then

draculing

Or like.. finding references for very specific things??

saetje

Haha the bread point was too powerful

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Napples likes the historical bread.

draculing

Like "what does a cereal box in 1908 look like"

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'm curious now too lol

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Gotta watch out for cereal killers.

draculing

Its little stuff that gets you

A lot of finding the closest approximation and then winging it like "hopefully some big history expert won't swoop in and yell at me"

The historical fiction police

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Heehee

Gotta keep all your facts 100% authentic

(and accurate)

draculing

It's a worry even though probably no one minds at all

saetje

Because vampires sure are real ha but I get it! You really want that authentic feel

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea All that matters is your readers have a good time and enjoy the story(edited)

saetje

But yeah unless someone is just being pedantic I don’t think you’re going to get mobbed for a small historical mistake

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Anyways seems like we're heading into the final minute of the CTP

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tbf tho does happen. historical fiction police do tear things apart but theyre in the minority. i think you do a really great job and pay more attention to detail than a lot of other historical fiction ive seen.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I don't notice such things at least. I enjoyed it.

Including the hairstyle, just to circle us all the way back. Nice crazy hair.

draculing

it's very cool and encouraging to see all your ideas about what's going on

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Anyways, thanks for the comic, Drac~! It was a fun read and I hope it grows nice and strong.

saetje

Fair fair. I just think people who call out details like that on indie creators are lame

draculing

Thank you for reading it!

saetje

And yeah! It’s a gorgeous comic!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

saetje

I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Me neither~(edited)

draculing

Can't believe we already spoiled that Margot is definitely a werewolf, the whole time

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END!

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Ashley McCammon, as well, for making Obelisk and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Ashley McCammon’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on Fate by Anthea West. As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on June 21st from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: http://www.fatecomic.com/

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #start faire #startfaire #comic tea party #ctp #comic chat #comic discussion #comic bookclub #webcomic bookclub #bookclub #ashley mccammon #obelisk

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grammaticalmustaches · 3 years

Text

KETTLE KATCHERZ FEEL FREE TO READ

under a read more due to length oops

suddenly overcome with love for my players. its a constant emotion but im feeling it so big right now.

theyre just so invested in the world! and their characters! and theyre so kind!?! truly i think dnd brings out the best in people.

i gave them some kenku that are having trouble integrating with a community because of the language barrier and now my players are out of game diving into esl education to make a communication book to help them get basic ideas across.

it is an ongoing joke that they adopt every npc i give them and its not much of a joke bc no lie i think there are just as many npcs who travel with the party as there are actual pcs. actually i just counted there are exactly as many party npcs as there are pcs. three of those npcs are kind of just one npc who at one point shared a consciousness but are now separate(-ish) beings and one of those npcs is just a small horde of dust bunnies that occasionally either makes or cleans up messes so you could argue the numbers dont actually line up but it is still an absurd number of npcs to have adopted. i have to plan reasons npcs cant or dont want to go on adventures as one of the first character points i make otherwise their party would be triple its size. i am constantly forgetting how many npcs they have with them at all times but they Dont forget and make points to include them in conversations and decision making.

i just think dnd brings out the best in people!!!

also i lowkey hate making maps but maps are important for understanding the world so iv been doing research and shit and trying to get better at it but! my players literally help with that? not just in making it fun and rewarding but like literally help with the task of it?

as in we just came from a city that one of my players spent a few years at so he drew a map of the city and wrote me out a Huge world building document about the city and its culture and like, climate and neighborhoods and what was important to his character while living there and everything! and another player gave me a six page document that included maps about the territory their character grew up in like, almost at the very beginning of our campaign! i havn’t even had a chance to use any of that information yet because they come from a very far away place! they dont care they Had Fun making me this big old document! and now we’re visiting a player’s childhood home and They’ve offered to make the map for the area! that would be three whole maps all player made!!!

theyre just so invested and make things so easy on me!!! it is so easy to dm a group that is constantly focused on Working With the world and moving their characters forward!

and its a super homebrewed campaign partially bc i honestly think thats not only more fun but how dnd is Meant to be played, with some creativity and making shit up on the spot, but also my players are so good!!! about shit being homebrew!!! when something comes up we dont know the rules for or which rules dont exist for we work together to decide what happens!!! if someone knows a rule i dont they let me know and i can ask them what they think happens given the rules that do apply and we make decisions together on how it works with a focus on what makes the most compelling story!

its just so truly OUR game!!! my beloved comrades!!!

Also like, its been off and on and we’ve taken breaks but we’ve been playing since March 2019? and people have added and left and like i said we’ve had to take breaks but in the end this is not a campaign i can imagine not being in anymore. i cannot imagine this campaign ending just because, like, there’s just so many of them who are so invested!!! and Im so invested! to be honest this campaign is one of the most fun and rewarding things in my life and one of my favorite things about it is how confident i am that it is going to be a constant in my life for a long time. like im really able to just Revel in this campaign and sink hours of work into weird bullshit and plan out arcs and enemies and friends and plot hooks and aesthetic bullshit i dont expect our party to meet for Quite a while because i just! i have no fear that this is going to end!

One of my players got a symbol from our campaign tattooed onto their flesh body? art that i made for dungeons and dragons? it will be on their human body for the rest of their life? and another got a tattoo that (partially) represents what this campaign means to them? another has told me they would love to get a campaign related tattoo with me someday? there is a tattoo in game that binds (most of) the pcs to each other and there has been talk about us getting that tattoo together?

i cannot think about this for too long or i go insane. i made some shapes on canva and spent the whole time wishing i had ms paint because ms paint is my level of art and these are designs that are being added to bodies because we have collectively installed so much emotion and meaning into them.

i am losin gmy mind.

and like, iv already sunk lowkey a kind of unreasonable amount of time (esp for someone who just went back to school and has homework!) into making my kenku soundboard and mixtape but its been such a passion project already and the whole time iv been working on it iv had Zero fear of the reception because i Know and Trust that my players will think my first attempt at using garageband is sick as hell even if its kind of not because they are just crazy supportive and love our world like i cant even really call it my world its truly Our world and! we all love and contribute to it!!!???!!!

I just love my party so much!!!

i just!!! truly think!!! dnd brings out the best in people!!!

at the end of every session we do a rose/bud/thorn (thing we liked/thing we’re looking forward to/thing that could be improved or issue wed like to bring up) to check in with how the session went!!! we discuss things we didnt like and how wed change them!!!

they challenge me Constantly not just in pushing my capabilities as a growing dm but they also speak up and challenge my decisions when they disagree!

i jsut cannot get over how truly we are Working Together in all aspects to make this campaign what it is.

i have a tendency to move dnd at a crawling pace where every hour of every day is meticulously role played. and they told me they didnt like that and now we work together to make things move faster! and it doesnt always work and we still dont move that fast but weve brainstormed several options and tried a few new things to make it easier for me to go faster!

PROBLEM SOLVING INSIDE AND OUTSIDE OF GAME

dnd! brings out! the best in people!

and also also also theres like, Multiple players who really hate using technology and sometimes esp video chatting. and most sessions currently people’s thorns have been tech issues/being on video. but wer still all (mostly) show up every session! we still submit to the mortifying ordeal of being seen/heard on discord!

some of my players have an accented character voice and i love them So So So Much for this and it makes me feel confident and comfortable enough to try my best at (when i remember to) doing character voices for npcs but we are not critical role and we are certainly not voice actors so none of our voices are very good or consistent! and my players with accents get self conscious about this pretty often but like!!! they are TRYING!!! they are GIVING IT THEIR ALL!!!

what more could anyone possibly ask of them?

multiple players have come to me concerned and looking for advice/help because they dont think theyre very good at role play/staying in character. we’ve got people who so dedicated theyre stepping Way outside their comfort zone and then turning around and apologizing for how far a walk it was??? they are giving it Their All and their biggest concern is how to give MORE?

i had a moment last session where i realized that our current arc is literally exactly the kind of arc i Dreamed of dming when i was first starting out. like, not to toot my own horn but its legitimately open world and they have a mystery that they need to get to know a small community and find out what everyone knows and put all the pieces together to figure out what happened. i used to scroll through dm forums Endlessly looking for Any advice on how to plan a good mystery and i didnt think id ever be at the point where i could actually pull a mystery Or an open world arc off. but like, here i am. its going pretty great so far.

also this current arc is one of the First i ever thought up for this campaign. obviously it’s changed and evolved a lot since original concept but like. just a Bit emotional over, ya know. finally getting here and having it be even better than i imagined. how far we’ve all come, in and out of game. the fact that my players had so much fun talking to my prize npc kenku whom i have been developing for literal years now and adore beyond reason that they are learning about esl studies to help them integrate into the coven they are trying to join.

DND! BRINGS OUT! THE BEST IN PEOPLE!

COLLABORATIVE STORYTELLING. WORKING TOGETHER TO CRAFT MEANING. LOVING AND SUPPORTING EACH OTHERS CREATIVE DECISIONS. MAKING DICK JOKES.

THIS IS WHAT DND IS ALL ABOUT BABY.

#dnd #for anyone wondering what this super long post is: tl;dr i love my players and our campaign #kettle katcherz #thought i finished writing this very long post #then Went Off in the tags #to the point i got cut off #so i went back and added my tags to the actual post.#sorry not sorry that i just love my players beyond tag limit

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rqs902 · 4 years

Text

wow im like 2 mins into the first round and they’re introducing fruit planet and im already convinced tencent did a better job at making this finale ep than youku did for snzm LOL

oof these questions hit home right away. wow xiao zhi changed a lot to become the leader he is today, someone who wants to see his band grow together. you can tell youzi has done some serious reflecting too, to call himself too unrestrained before. ughhh you can just see how much they love runze and how much he loves them. i love parents. xiao zhi really gave runze the confidence he needed and they all gave qiang ge the encouragement he needed. im surprised the suo na worked as well as it did with the disco song and im so happy to see how happy they were on stage.

LOL muji is the real one to rein in szb and is harsh on him bc he needs it. the way muji says hes not afraid to get on people’s bad side and be the bad guy kinda reminds me of huang enyu

hope hyt and xiao xiong have really learned through their growing pains (same to ljt and szb) does that mean fruit planet is the only group where the main duo’s main fight wasn’t against each other but tencent? lol i cant imagine xiao zhi fighting any of his kids? wow i still find it amazing that zhao ke can so proudly say that 熱帶低壓 was his happiest times in front of the rest of 氣運. like thats legit love he feels for 熱帶低壓 and they respect that. wowowowow hyt’s “i can be strict towards myself, but i gotta let go for them” is like the ultimate lesson for micromanagers and he’s learned to believe in and respect his teammates and not feel like he needs to control everything. good for him.

maybe im just biased but the pitchy-ness of 氣運’s singing (xiao xiong and ma zhe /cough) just bugs me so much ugh it makes me sad bc the song is nice and id like to add it to my playlist otherwise, but i cant listen to this without frowning at the vocals. to be totally transparent, I didnt like the 午睡 song much at all (sorry ljt TT) and disco is not my style (sorry fruit planet) but at least the fruit planet perf was fun. im just kinda disappointed by these perfs in general :\

tencent putting the order as fruit planet first and 午睡 second and 氣運 last is a sign they already know 氣運 is gonna win... bc fruit planet was first place last week but if they go first that puts them at a disadvantage aka no one will be a match for 氣運 lol

lol wat is this intro video.... the plushie fruits hanging from their suits LOL im gonna have to go look up footage of their busking!! watching this second perf... this is a song i will add to my playlist :) i just love seeing xiao zhi jamming out like hes enjoying it from the beginning to end, and i esp like the contrast when wsh switched to his drum set and the part where youzi sang! his vocal tone is such nice contrast to yrz’s. and i love how theyve figured out how to incorporate qiang ge’s suo na into their music. i will say it was kinda messy in terms of runze’s rhythm and they messed up some of the lyrics but for the amount of time they had to prepare im happy with this last perf :’)

aw idk how i feel about ljt voicing that he’d rather do a band than be a soloist... but LOL MUJI a gentle but cruel real talker lol okay. who came up with these intro videos wtf????

OMG I CANT BELIEVE THEYRE DOING “I WILL MISS YOU” ARE THEY ALLOWED TO DO THIS SONG??? omg omg thats such a attack in the feels tho wtf this is such a throwback ugh i still remember this song from when zyx and ljt performed it on the first mrzz and now ljt’s bringing it back? omg but it has so many memories from the first mrzz kids and wow idk how i feel about this. i mean i know its HIS song so he’s perfectly entitled to perform it but its wild bc this song is so mrzz1 its kinda strange to bring it back for mrzz4. like does it feel like the mrzz1 kids are being replaced? or maybe i should take it like ljt is singing it in their honor and bringing it back to where he began. lol like zzn and mby know the lyrics bc theyve performed this song themselves before :’) okay so the beginning was a tiny bit pitchy but ljt is the best singer compared to everyone else!! the way he sings 揮揮手 with such power is so oof and i still just love his vocal timbre. one thing i like about 午睡 in particular is that none of them are trying to fight ljt to be a vocalist, which is unlike the other two group, and i think its nice that he can just be trusted to handle the vocals and it keeps it cleaner bc hes a capable vocalist on his own. im happy to see muji on bass too bc its cool he can be so versatile. LOL LJT introducing everyone in the middle of the song i love him hes so funnn. i will say, the arrangement of the song felt a little frame-heavy? idk if that phrase is the correct way to describe it, but i felt like there wasn’t enough sound filling the song, but jym is really jamming out in the background (im so happy whenever i see a glimpse of his drumming smile) and ljt is carrying with the vocals in the foreground. maybe its just bc im not used to this arrangement so it sounds strange to me. AW ljt going to zzn and mby to get them to singggg and AWWWWW muji running to yingge, sam, tyler, ruiyang they look soooo happy to hug him aawwwwwwww i love roommateesssss and also i still see them as this crowd of misfits who dont really fit in but can find solace in each other. can you imagine what wouldve happened if 太空餐廳 had stayed in this race? wild, i feel like they couldve made it to the end too. LOL ljt really treating this like a finale on a concert, such a pro LOL. OMG IM SO HAPPY TO SEE MAOMAO TALKING AND LJT TALKING BACK, i looove their friendshippppp awwww

wait i just had a random thought, but are the clothes they’re wearing like their own clothes? bc some of these 氣運 kids have a flashy wardrobe if so LOL

omg xiao li’s written 78 songs for 氣運????? LOL CAN WE TALK ABOUT THESE INTRO VIDEOS BC 氣運 ‘S WAS SO NICE WTF HAHAHAHHA its so biased???? like wtf were the first 2 intro videos nonsense, and then you get to 氣運 ‘s and theirs is all artistic and pretty and dramatic and nice???? what???? hahahhahaha oh my goodness they even shipped hyt a drum set in the middle of a freaking grassy field wtf

okay i honestly think xiao li is the best singer in 氣運, maybe im biased but even he started a tiny bit pitchy but he adjusted quickly and his voice is just so nice and he puts a lot of care into his vocals even while playing piano!

unrelated to the music, but honestly i thought i liked xiao li with short hair better but i do like the bangs he has framing his face here. i just prefer the back of it to not be so long LOL

WOW i said all that about xiao li’s voice before xiao xiong started singing (and i immediately wished xiao li would sing again.. oops sorry to xiao xiong, but he gets off key easily when singing soft and low contrast pitches) and then xiao li SANG THE CHORUS AND WOW his voice is so nice i like it so much!!! i really hope he feels satisfied with this perf, as its their last perf and hes said before that he couldnt face their songs straight-on yet. wow i just have to go back and listen to him sing the chorus again wow the way his voice sounded on "傷心" OOF.

what is zhao ke looking at when he raps? lol i feel like hes always looking off in a random direction but maybe im just not remembering correctly. but also the vocal effects they put on his mic make it hard to understand what he’s saying? but he also sounds like he has an accent. I dont know much about zhao ke like where he’s from or anything, but im curious if thats just bc of the vocal effects or he actually has an accent.

UGH im sorry but then xiao xiong starts singing again and hes still off key and im still cringing..... i mean id noticed he was pitchy in previous episodes but this episode seems particularly noticeable?? im not sure if its bc they did any autotuning in the past but idk xiao xiong’s kinda not doing so great today :\ also the transition from zhao ke’s rap to xiao xiong’s singing was weird??? okay xiao xiong is fine once he starts projecting and puts more strength behind his voice, and then his vocal color is pretty nice! but prior to that....

lol am i think only one who thought it was weird that they recorded the guitar solo instead of having someone play it live? was it xiao li that played it on the recording? also zhao ke outside of rapping is basically a accompanying bass vocalist at this point lol

im happy to see hyt being so happy jamming out back there, but his drum set is legit WILD.

i know xiao li isn’t super popular but i wish people could acknowledge that 氣運 would be nothing without him. ugh he does so much for their music and sound, look at how much he was involved with in the credits for this song gosh.

thank you to nana for voting for fruit planet, even tho we could kinda guess she would. but honestly not voting /cough/ is basically voting for 氣運, because everyone knows theyre gonna win the popular vote sooooo

XIAO ZHI IS A TOTAL DAD NAMING HIS KIDS, staking his claim to xiao xiong, runze and tyler L O L its cute that he told them they dont need to grow up

also can we talk about how xiao zhi said fruit planet wouldnt be here without youzi.... yooo their friendship is so real

LOL xiao li yelling at hyt REPEATEDLY that hes a flamingo LOL

im really torn about his hair length, still thinking about whether i actually like it.....

these are the superficial side thoughts that are going on in my head as i watch this show, yes.

OOF qianye saying qiang ge is 優秀, not just his suo na aww i love seeing qiang ge laughing at pengpeng’s yelling at him and getting all this love and encouragement bc it feels like its taken him a while to open up but im glad he really seems to have

i like this yelling segment, will have to go look for more clips of it

wow this last performance really giving a visual demonstration of the group splitting is kinda sad for 銀河 bc they dont get to show up until the very end and theyre not even one of the last groups standing oof but also gives you a visual representation of how it’s been especially difficult for qiang ge, muji, and zhao ke, and also the others who had to go through group splitting.

muji and sam smiling at each other at the end is all i need to see to smile.

LOL ZZN’S WELCOME TO WJJW IM CRYINNGGGG rip

aw im kinda surprised (but not) that fruit planet came in third loll what can i expect from tencent. but also its nice but also sad to see them cheering for themselves. i think they knew they wouldnt win but i think they deserved better

lol the fact that they had a banner for 氣運, and 氣運 won by like a HUGE margin, lol everyone already knew who would win

lol can we just talk about how all the kids and teachers are just like in their own world talking and hugging behind the kids giving their winning speeches LOL they give no effs to this live broadcast LOL

LOL IS THERE ANOTHER EPISODE NEXT WEEK BASICALLY?

LOL THE THIRD ANNOUNCEMENT IS LITERALLY A PLUG FOR MAOMAO’S CONCERT HAHAHHAHAHHA THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH 氣運, BUT OKAY HAHAHAH

well its over. now i can go watch the recording of yingge’s livestream from sunday without fear of spoilers LOL

honestly looking back, this was a good show. i started it not really thinking id get invested bc i was also simultaneously watching snzm and since snzm is an idol show i knew id naturally get more invested in that. BUT these mrzz kids have really grown on me. theyre good kids and theres lots of talented kids among them. im curious how wjjw will deal with having 3(?) bands to promote now, but who knows, im just hoping to see more of fruit planet, ljt, and xiao li’s music in the future. i went into this show for ljt, and i came out of it with more music on my playlist (which is always great) and a high appreciation for xiao zhi and xiao li. hoping to see more of them in the future!

#rants #i appreciate how much this show focused on their bonds and friendships as groups #cant help but wonder whats next for these kids but im looking out for xiao zhi and xiao li and of course liao juntao :)#FRUIT PLANET BEST GROUP

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