#i wish i had more time to read tbh
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6, 18, 38, 44, 61, 66, 71, 86, & 135 🧐✍️
for the book recs ask game ! 💕
omg rae tysm i didnt expect so many !!!!!!!
6) a book with a pink cover:
convenience store woman by sayaka murata. my edition has a pink cover. it's a super short book about a social-misfit woman who finds her purpose working at a convenience store. very humbling and heartwarming story. i adore it.
18) your least favorite book ever
not gonna include 'trash books' here cause we all read those from time to time and they are what they are. so i would probably choose a little life by hanya yanagihara. absolute slog to get through. even though i enjoy angst, this was misery porn. the more i read the more i wanted to end it all. reminded me a bit of the goldfinch but without any payoff, anything redeeming story-wise. same reason i also have a long-standing beef with wuthering heights.
38) your favourite series
OKAY NOT THE EASIEST QUESTION FOR ME because i love so many and all of them for different reasons. i guess ursula le guin's earthsea series might be my favorite because i relate a lot to the way she approaches characters and relationships, but i also love her hainish cycle (books 1-3 link very nicely to each other!), and i have to mention asimov's foundation trilogy for the ingenious way he weaves politics into the plot and grrm asoiaf series for the sheer size and scope of what he tries to achieve.
44) your favourite fantasy novel
tolkien's the lord of the rings. it's part of my identity.
61) your favourite horror novel
yo i need to read a lot more horror yet but bram stoker's dracula is a classic for a reason. i also really enjoyed the vampire lestat by she who must not be named.
66) a book that fucked you up
george orwell's animal farm! and honorable mention to ursula's novella the matter of seggri. that was some fucked up shit! and octavia butler’s kindred! tf happened there?
71) your favourite LGBTQ+ fiction
i dont know that it's my favorite but i've recently read the house in the cerulean sea and it was pretty cute. my favorite lgbtq+ fiction spiritually? the heart is a lonely hunter by carson mccullers.
86) a book with an insane plot twist
anthony bourdain's kitchen confidential is bonkers from beginning to end. that man lived 100 lives and i miss him a lot.
135) recommend any book you like!
piranesi by susanna clarke. read this book immediately! no summary, no spoilers. just inject this book into your eyeballs!
#this was so fun!#ty rae for some great asks#i hope at least one of my recs will bring light into your life one day#i wish i had more time to read tbh
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i'd rather be friendless than to constantly have my boundaries disrespected
#i am so frustrated and annoyed rn#at the beginning of this year my ex best friend reached out to me and i cautiously let her back into my life#things were going great but now she turned a harmless topic into a full blown discussion even though i told her multiple times that i no..#.. longer want to discuss this matter but she kept going & then accusing me of continuing the discussion as well#and tbh i really should've stopped engaging with her messages much sooner but it's so annoying when someone sends you lots of messages with#their opinion although i mentioned several times that i want to drop the topic & then i'm just expected to shut up lol#she didn't respect my wish to move and made a huge fuss about nothing#i stopped replying to her since yesterday bc i really had enough & i should've just left her on read much sooner#but her messages were truly annoying me#her last message now says that we often have different opinions & she thinks she's more optimistic than me & that makes it hard for her to..#talk to me..... i was so dumbfounded when i read that this morning#our initial conversation was about whether a song is more pop or rnb....... & she twisted that into me being negative lmao#she was so obsessed with being right that she couldn't drop the topic even though i told her how exhausting the convo was for me#and like it's such an irrelevant topic... imagine being that obsessed with always being right 😭#idc anymore i'd rather be a negative bitch than someone who disrespects others' boundaries <3#i thought she changed for the better but she's so self-righteous opinionated & stubborn it's awful#i calmly told her that her behavior is bothering me & we easily could've just moved on but she kept going on and on#and she herself admitted that it's one of her flaws that she always has to be right & she's being petty & yet she didn't stop 🤡#even writing all this down feels so silly to me bc the initial topic was sooooo trivial#am i supposed to feel sorry for thinking a song was rnb rather than pop???? like go touch some grass please#she even sent me a screenshot of the wikipedia page of the song to prove that it's rnb & it literally said synth pop & rnb lol#but i wasn't even mad about that her not respecting my wish to drop the topic & move on even though i said it multiple times really pissed..#me off though.... like girl just let it go it's not that deep!!!#but apparently i'm negative & pessimistic for having a different opinion than her 🤷🏼♀️#like imagine starting a fight over smth SO IRRELEVANT but i'm the negative one sure lmao#okay i just needed to get this off my chest bc i don't have anyone to talk to about this & it's just ridiculous to me#☁️
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📖🖊❄️
#journal dump bc i have too much on my mind#1) i HATE my neighbors. theres never one quiet moment. they stomp around and slam cabinets all the time it feels like#2) i've been reading more recently even if concentration's hard bc of noise. but i also feel like there r too many books i wanna read#but yeah. too little time. so instead i cant settle on a book and kinda dont even read as much as i want to. a stupid problem really#3) it's crazy to say but i wish i had a part time job. sitting at home 24/7 for 5/6 years has been SO terrible for me.#everything feels meaningless. every day is the exact same. im not LIVING. im rotting away and all my issues get worse. im also so fkn bored#and i dont wanna sit at home and do assignments (even if thats what i technically should be doing)#i want a job to go to which takes me away from home + gives me money#then i can come home and sit and rot and ENJOY it. bc now my lazy time is only smth negative and bad for me :/#ofc i hate the mere thought of having some soul sucking utterly pointless job and our capitalist society is a slave hellhole. but.. as it is#im not even able to enjoy ANY of my time bc all my time feels bad. plus im only getting poorer and poorer so i cant afford to buy anything#4) im so fkn bored and going crazy from eating the exact same food every single day for the third month now. im sick of it#everything tastes so bland and disgusting. it's genuinely making me depressed 😭 i wanna eat REAL food. im so tired bc no nutrition :((#i cant do anything except wait for my appt w the doctor next week and hope they put me on a waiting list for surgery.. but ong im sick of it#5) i miss my sisters :/ we live in the same apartment but its like i've completely ceased to exist to them#except when they need to be passive aggressive to me. lol. i miss them. but they just dont wanna talk to me :/#but tbh. most of all... i just want my health issue to be over so my body can function normally again.#i can face anything in life if i can come home to a cup of coffee nd some chocolate ^-^ <333
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here's another tag game cause @pinknoisemp3 is a real one and tagged me to share 9 books i wanna read in 2023!! it's a game ive been tagged in before so pls don't take offense i never did it when you tagged me, i always meant to 🙏🙏
tagging some besties i talk abt books w but no pressure! @quillsand @soupbi @pherelpis @mousmoula @catboypranparakulisaro @darkside-cookies @byrons @teabox and anyone else who wants to!
#my first thot when i saw the arrangement of covets was aww i wish they looked prettier together :(( and then i had to stop myself like!!!#this isnt an aesthetic!!! anna you actually like reading remember???!?!???!!??!!#ok quick runthrough of the nominees: bloodchild - v v excited 2 read more butler whoo unsettling horror stories and the short story#collection tht features in this lineup!!#calling a wolf a wolf - every quote or individual poem ive read of kaveh akbar has been 🤯🤯🤯🫡🛐🛐 i definitely should read a full work!#beloved - SO excited to read another morrison LOVED jazz which i read this summer her writing is some of the best ive read!!!#the brothers karamazov - ill read this in greek definitely looks v challenging size wise but i rly wanna read it!!! has been so long since#i fully sank my teeth into a huge dostovyevsky novel n esp reading dos. in greek feels soo satisfying idk why..#i read crime n punishment in english n kt was NOT the same! wish i spoke russian 2 go str8 2 the orginal but alas#THE NAME OF THE ROSE this n the brothers are a case of my mutuals pick my tbr for sure!!! gi thats largely your doing tbh#her lover/i eromeni tis a greek lesbian classic thats also v hard 2 find in print form!!! hopefully i get it in my hands this year..#i ordered it on metabook so hopefully i havent just been scammed!!! lol#love in the time of cholera another classic I'll read in greek.. this and the monstrous regiment are alice recs ALICE I HOPE YOURE HAPPY#and arcadia by stoppard which is almost exclusively kaanu teabox propaganda!!! and as a play here to add to the mix yahoo!#tag game#2023
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how do you deal with the fact that je*ulus and w*lfstat are so popular in this fandom because i think i may be too emotional but i tweak every time i see them
basically it's just none of my business. I definitely think the jegs should avoid spamming the jily tag for instance because that's pretty disrespectful. I also think that the same way they have every right to enjoy that themselves, I have every right to express my personal dislike of those ships on my personal blog-- as long as I'm not putting it anywhere they're likely to see it. It has nothing to do with jeg or wofl fans as individuals, it's not a personal attack. I think if it's viewed as such maybe people need to take a moment to value how much stock they put in the opinions of strangers. It doesn't (and shouldn't) bother me personally if I come across someone who hates jily or hates snape or something, the same way I'm not offended if someone dislikes olives (just kidding, if you hate olives unfollow me right now)
sure, I think it's worth pointing out that female characters are sidelined in fandom in favour of men. but all it is is pointing it out and discussing it openly, not demanding people change their behaviour.
Ultimately, I can't control people's opinions or preferences, at most I can give my opinion when and if it's warranted. I'd love for marauder fans to be more understanding of snape for instance and vice versa so I talk about them a lot, and maybe that gives someone cause to think differently about a character they hate but in the end I don't really have the power to change people's minds or dictate their interests. I do believe there is definitely a space to love both, as proven by the many people I follow who do so!
#tbh the first time i came across jegular it was a random fic where reg was a med student? and i read so much of it absolutely fascinated#i had no idea it was a popular thing lol#replies#i do feel u anon i think its just about keeping perspective and distance#like whatever let people like dumb stuff#i do honestly wish marauders fans were a bit more understanding of snape bc i think there's a lot to be gained there#and we're all more similar than we realise!#if there wasn't this antagonism GOD the things we could create together#the meta that could be spun collectively
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#i don't like how this past year has been me getting really anxious because of my health#because it really put me on edge deciding whether i want to draw and finish my projects#or do my schoolwork and finish college#because i haven't been able to imagine myself anywhere past graduation and my health situation hasn't helped matters#i could be overreacting and i'm actually fine and this is a temporary pain issue#because i'm continuously denied getting my pain checked out due to expenses and the like#everything is too expensive#who knows maybe i'll live past graduation and i can continue my art as usual#but i'm panicking more over the pain daily and feel like stopping my classes and just draw draw draw#i'm more concerned about making fanart tbh because i have so many ll wips#and i sincerely want to give back to the fandom more than ever#but a dead artist can't contribute#neither can a living artist who is in too much pain to work#still thinking about posting my wips and ideas and maybe they'll inspire some other people here#ideas and concepts will get lost in translation but it's better than nothing#... i wish we had more artists here#maybe i won't feel this way if that was the case#ernest talks#i really don't meant to death scare anyone reading this i could be overreacting over my own health#it just ties real closely to how worried i get about the fandom in general and how much time i dedicate making projects for the community#so i'm just.. scared i guess#how would people know when a blog largely on hiatus is permanently inactive? will i let people know in time if something happens to me?
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Lina, sweetie, im bout to commit the ultimate anime betrayal. I know you love bisexual wolfgir-I MEAN KOTOKO...........but im still voting her ass guilty :)
HSHDJSJDJSK IT'S OKAY she's not like. my top fave anyway (though i'm still a milgram women stan) and also. i mean. i mean. i'm kind of a guilty voter too- *i get thrown out the window*
#you don't get it i just think it'd be hot for her to look traumatized and disheveled and everything <3#but tbh i'm actually surprisingly more torn here than i expected#like if i have to vote based on her views and personality and morals? yeah guilty#but if i have to vote based on what i've read about her crime.... hhhhhh...#tbh i wish we had more guilty prisoners bc i love the drama but if kotoko gets voted inno this time#i won't be mad. 0104 the ultimate loser couple ever#[ 💌 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 ]#[ 💕 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 ]#[ 🧇 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝: 𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 ]
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back on my gravity falls bullshit and im seeing a LOT of issues in the fandom
namely: people using "isosceles" as a synonym for "triangle"
BILL IS VERY CLEARLY AN EQUILATERAL TRIANGLE.
and dont give me that "equilateral triangles are also isosceles by definition actually :)" bullshit because thats like seeing a square and going "wow lookit that rectangle" or "what a nice parallelogram" like yes technically you are correct but also everyone around you is looking at you like youre a fuckin idiot because there is a much better word that would severely increase the accuracy of your statement and its such an incredibly common word so you definitely know it and heaven only knows why youre refusing to use it
#gravity falls#*sees a pair of dice* ''what a lovely set of parallelpiped :)''#*sees an equilateral triangle* ''ah yes my favorite of the Three Sided Shapes That Identically Tile The Plane Through With 180° Rotation''#*sees a D12* ''i love to see my favorite platonic solid: the dodecahedron out in the wild''#ok actually that last ones valid ngl#the dodecahedron IS the best platonic solid and it deserves to be known as more than just a D12#the number of times ive been talking to someone about my project (and thus the platonic solids and thus my favorite plaronic solid)#and described the dodecahedron as ''like how a cube has six square faces the dodecahedron has 12 pentagon faces!''#and seen the total lack of understanding on their face#and had to sigh and go ''... you know... the D12 from dnd...''#to which they respond ''oh yeah the D12 i know that''#its so sad#i wish i could make people know the platonic solids by their actual names and not the dice names#wow i got off track holy shit#doubt anyones read this far tbh#im just rambling bc my powers out and thus i cant work on my thesis so im killing time#viva la dodecahedron!#ih#fndm
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anw i'll stand by it until the day i die that it should've been orihime who beat ulquiorra in the end and not ichigo
#bleach#orihime inoue#ok so hear me out. the shun shun rikka is confirmed to have ridiculously powerful abilities especially the healing ability which has been-#-said to 'trespass into God's territory'. the offensive ability is curbed by orihime's own intentions though right? and since she's more-#-of a pacifist character she doesn't usually fight often. however. however. one of the few (and first) times we see her actively ready to-#-fight someone is chapter 42 when tatsuki is injured and getting mind controlled. like. im just saying. we couldve had chapter parallels#and like i reallly reallly wish we had been able to see the full extent of orihime's offensive ability too like. the way the scene couldve-#-played out is so clear in my mind. though tbh its been months since i read that arc so like. maybe this idea 'goes against the themes' or-#-whatever. and like this doesnt even have to change her character like genuinely have her take down ulquiorra out of like. desperation and-#-then have her grapple with the enormity of her power and once again chose kindness instead of violences like she has before#anw i have more notes/better plotting out scene in my notes app if anyone wants to see....also fuck you again tite kubo for this<3#jfc i havent done a tag rant like this in a while
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OK GONNA TAKE THAT EXAM RIGHT NOW AND THEN GET TO MY MASSIVELY PILED UP DM'S. I AM. SO SORRY
#I think 24 is my new record tbh#same goes for asks. going to get to most them this evening#except for the theoretical physics thing. going to work on that a bit more first!!!!!#i need to re-acquaint myself with string theory. it's been a long time since I read up on it#I wish i had my brian greene book with me but alas
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I can't stop thinking about that post I reblogged earlier about fandom being exhausting..l. I don't know.
#N rambles#I haven't said much about this in here and I considered putting it down on the sideblog but eh.#I miss ml tbh even though my feelings towards the show is complicated now and I am doing better without the fandom and the new episodes#I do like yoi...but I disagree with most of the interpretations of the characters -#-(it doesn't mean mine nor those interpretations are wrong vdjshs I just have a super specific reading)#And the present fandom is pretty much dormant compared to the ml one obviously#And my own interpretations of yoi are also changing fast#Like now I've accepted that Yuuri winning gold would've been much more satisfying#(though I don't feel...angry/disappointed about it??? It's more like 'oh I wish that had happened')#but ehhh#yoi is like...a show I would rewatch at my own time and not something I want to participate in the fandom for#I really do wish I hadn't giffed it at times#especially seeing some of the...takes I've seen there👍#but then I also want to talk about it and discuss and engage with people about it too😭😭😭 I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE#idk thoughts
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The Kodo show was amazing 🖤🥁🖤🥁🖤
#its been 24 hours now but yesh#i was gonna wait til i got on my comp and make a read more post but that didn't happen so its tag rant time#they were sooooo good#the more intense pueces had ne on the edge of my seat and i enjoyed every min#also they used the baseball bat bachi several times which i really wanna do lol#they also had this pice where they made the shime sound like wind it was insane#there was also a pice where dancers were the center piece which ive never seen at a taiko show really#also a couple of songs with singers which is like less common they had serious pipes too#anyway back to drimming theyre so skilled i only hope i can be somewhat as good in many years form now tbh but its inspiring#and tgey did a lot of the on the ground and leaning back playing which their stamina impressed me cause they also played some intense stuff#it was a great show#im super glad i caught them on thir tour it had been a while#and it was just wow#ill never get tired of watching taiko its just the coolest especially when more experienced players are taking it to another level#like i wish my job was taiko ngl practice can be tiring but if i could just do it no day job in the way it would rock#but ill keep working on it as i am now but man seeing two really pro groups lately has me dreaming lol#taiko#talks
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it took me a while to finally process this specific loneliness that I have but boy howdy
for most of my life, my mom was my Home. we were each other's Person ever since I was born, and that changed when she got with my step-dad and married him (I'm genuinely glad they're together, I am). And I didnt understand why at the time, but it made me so fuckin sad
So then I was experiencing this weird ass loneliness for so long, especially after I started living by myself. That's why being with my ex made me so happy; that loneliness was gone, I had a Person again, and I genuinely thought I'd never have to worry about feeling like that ever again. I may be over the breakup, but I'm still mourning for myself
I just feel like my Default is Alone. Not just being by myself (which is swag), but Alone. I may be going out and seeing people more than ever (which doesn't say too much), but I'm just floating. I float between people on my own, go out, infiltrate visit their spaces, do stuff, but in the end I go back to being Alone. I hate that I feel this way with my family now. I go to the place I still consider my home and with my people...but eventually I have to go back to my apartment. By Myself. Nobody there is my Person and I'm nobody's Person anymore.
I'm especially realizing this now that I have a new interest that's taking up all my attention, but I don't know how/am too nervous to make new friends, and none of my friends are into it. Sure I can kinda chat with ppl about it but idk what I'm doing. B0tw has done the work for me for 4 1/2 years. So I'm like. Really into this thing. But Alone. I make my circulations, but I really don't belong in any space. And PATHETICALLY I'm trying to make fan content and weasle myself into the fandom just so I don't feel so alone it's not working too well lololol
God I just need a Person again to feel real. I do have friends and I love them but we're not each other's Home- they have other people more important in their lives, people to go back to, and that is absolutely okay. But Good God I can't do this anymore
#i thought i was the most introverted person on the planet but it turned out being social scares me#and being alone is easier#but ive been too alone the past couple years. i may need time by myself but FUCK#thIS SUCKS !???????#i dont even know what to do with myself#tbh i want to stop trying but this is killing me everyday#damnnnn wish mobile had a 'read more' option LMAO#personal
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Eh I shouldn't be sad because of that
#send someone on facebook birthday wishes and i see they saw that and didn't write back#which i kinda get...aside from fact we did not really have contact in years and we are no friends on facebook even i forgot two previous#years to wish her happy birthday...when i did wish happy new year probably should not do that then#but damn i did remember about her birthday few days before it and recalled few days after it so that was very annoying cause#it was too late#eh i guess it's might be weird to send wishes at all especially if new year ones didn't get answer but well. i kind of feel need#...especially to at at least this time cause it was really annoying last two years recalling it few days later#...also maybe i'm bit sad about that lost contact. i mean i guess it wasn't much but tbh i don't have much contact with anyone#...i also used to call her and then last time i think i kinda wanted to talk too much and told too much about myself (...well more of#ficional shipping) and then she had to finish call and i still feel bad that i talked too much#...and i wanted to next time more of ask things but then in september my phone broke and i lost all numbers and felt to awkward to ask for#number on facebok i guess#...i think it might be reason for unfriending on facebook? i mean that i didn't call...was it that year or next year#anyway yeah i know it's stupid but i'm sad and need to get it out#uh. i was expecting that though i just needed to wish for peace of my mind even if i did expect no answer#so i have to just accept that#...and stop thinking she might answer later she did already read not gonna happen
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something something Circe by Madeline Miller.
It’s so beautiful, and for what? To plague ME with tears? Perhaps...
#It's my second time rereading it#and it still sits in my memory like a photo negative#I wish more of my friends had read it#I have SO many words to speak#of how casual and ever present Circe's deep belief in the world around her was and will always be#how the men are like stick figures built against her own backdrop#some with something that bursts beyond their silhouette in their inherent tragedy#yet still held relief against those who came before#😭😭😭 there is so much sadness in those pages#a deep despair at the reality she lives#and it is only when it is reflected back to her that Circe will linger#never once has it been the beauty of the world that gripped her#she's everything to me tbh#anyways as always i must state#sapphic Circe :)#fuck all of these men except PERHAPS daedalus#i know she's afflicting with loving mortals disease#but i will be honest#the only time she ever cared for the inherent beauty of what surrounded her it was in reference to women#she should have married scylla instead <33#THAT would fix it all i think#(its the delusion speaking)#Roach's Rambles#I could actually go on forever tbh#AND i'm not even done with this reread
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just read all your imagines and they are so good!! just on here to req anything hobie brown related cos god that man is so fine. maybe like a one-shot where they are fwb cos hobie doest do labels but gets jealous and then asks reader to be his gf and then shows her off to everyone. just like really anything u want to write tbh ✨✨
end of line | h. brown
description. being friends with benefits with your best friend, hobie brown, is fun and all, but you start to realize that maybe firm labels suit you better than whatever this is
includes. slight smut SUGGESTIVE 16+, fem!reader referred to as “girl”, fluff, sweet!hobie, pav gwen and miles mention, rockstar!hobie
a/n: i have no words this was supposed to be uploaded like a week ago but then i went to disney so ... sorry yall. also not edited well bc ... disney. edit: title from the song by daft punk bc tron <3
word count: 1.7k+
things are still in your bedroom. they always are right before he arrives.
you're not a psychic, nor do you have a "spider-sense" (which, with the creepy-sixth sense way hobie described it, you don't want one either), but you like to think that you can tell when he'll come by.
nights when you haven't heard much from him, but the sirens seemed to never stop outside, were usually when your window would creek as it slid up.
you listen out for the sound now as you finish painting your last nail. you'd used the quick dry polish tonight, in hopes that you wouldn't have a repeat of last time, when your fingernails weren't dried but hobie was incredibly impatient and when you were done, you'd realized that your right ring and pinkie fingers were smudged.
the bottle's closed, you'd blown on your nail to ensure it dried, and that's when your window slides open.
there's no point in looking back at him when he tumbles into the room. he starts mumbling complaints as soon as the window's closed, the sound of his shoes unlacing padding his words, something about some common thief who hobie was going to let go but then he went and messed with the lady on the street and her cat.
you'd lost the tail end of his words whenever he started walking closer to you. you sat up straighter, pushed everything out of the way, and waited for him to turn your chair around.
which, when he did, you looked up at him, small smile on your lips as you stared into his deep brown eyes.
"how's your night, hm?" he asked, a courtesy before getting to the real action.
you shrugged, pretending to think. "nothing. just a lot of this."
"no smashing societal standards? picking off misogynists one by one?"
a small laugh in the form of a snort from you. "nah. figured i'd take a day off, you know?" the sarcasm dripping from your words. that's not who you were. you wish you could've been like that, could've been like hobie. but there's one spider-person for a reason.
"oh, yeah, uh-huh..." and hobie trailed off as he leaned in, pointer finger hooking under your chin to pull your lips to his.
it always felt good to kiss hobie.
you'd fantasized about it for weeks before it actually happened. he's your closest friend at the moment, and he occupied the title before this arrangement even existed. and of course you had the worry about ruining your beautiful friendship if you became more, fear that you wouldn't be able to go back and you would subsequently lose probably the best friend you've ever had.
but that was no need to worry. because while you could let hobie pull you up and lead you to your bed, sitting back and pulling you into his lap while he kissed you with a tenderness you know so well, you could also just be friends with him, sitting side by side on the couch and having a movie marathon of horrible biopics without thinking about jumping each other's bones.
there's a balance here that you could only hope would've existed.
and it's never thrown off. not even when he pulls your shirt over your head and his full lips find your nipples and the slightly-faded marks he'd left a few days ago. not even when he switches your position, laying you back and kissing down your torso until he can bury his head between your legs. not even when you whine and cry just a bit, slightly begging for him to pull his suit off so he can fuck into you in a way that only he can.
you try not to think about the equilibrium of your relationship with hobie when your legs hook around his waist and the heels of your feet dig into your lower back. you try to solely focus on the way his cock fills you up perfectly, mostly long with the right amount of girth for your walls, tip reaching deep within you in an almost mind bending way.
but you can't help but think about the way hobie doesn't do labels when he helps you to your bathroom, where he lets the shower heat up while you sit in a shirt he left behind a few days ago when he'd shown up as just hobie brown and not spiderman. you can't help but think about being hobie's girlfriend when his big, veiny hands run along your skin after the shower, smothering you in shea butter as you struggle to hold your eyes open. and you don't bother attempting to fight off the lasting thought of being hobie's while he hums an unknown song to himself with your head on his chest, the deep sound of his voice and the vibration of his chest lulling you to sleep.
you need to be someone's.
the friends with benefits scenario was fun, it worked, it was glorious, but you don't think it's for you. and labels aren't for hobie.
so, you look elsewhere.
you're at hobie's show, standing in the back of the pub with a drink you weren't interested in, with some guy you really weren't all that interested in, either. but he smelled nice, and he seemed nice, and you were just looking to broaden your horizons just a bit.
you and hobie weren't exclusive, but maybe it's a little wrong to flirt with someone else at his show. but you were slightly upset, and craving attention, so it didn't matter.
not until hobie got off stage.
it took a while for him to roam over to you, but even then you were still entertaining the other guy. giggling, tilting your head, batting your eyelashes, your hip popped out and a manicure, that was still fresh, blinging as your hand rested on the bone.
he greets you with a term of endearment that he uses often, but it feels different in this circumstance. you tell yourself that it feels different because you want it to feel different.
"oi, babe! who's this bloke?"
his arm slings over your shoulder and you tense under it. your hands folding over your chest, your smile tightening a little.
“uh this is steven.” your hand reaches out to point to the man, a tight lipped smile spreading onto his lips.
“steven …” hobie repeats the name slowly, and without looking at him you can tell that he’s eyeing the guy up and down.
the air is stiff, the three of you are silent, and unfortunately, steven takes the hint to dismiss himself, and you instantly turn to hobie, a scowl on your face.
“what the fuck, hobes?” you’re pissed, but the nickname still slips off easily.
hobie shrugs and reaches into his back pocket, a cigarette appearing and he sticks it between his lips. instantly, your fingers pluck it out from his mouth, instead putting it in your own back pocket.
instead of looking upset, hobie looks amused. his hands reach out to grab your waist, and you want to give in, but you try to push his hands away instead.
hobie lets you, and you don’t know if your happy or upset with that.
“what’d you mean?”
you stare at him, deadpan, then gesture to where steven had walked away towards.
“you just cockblocked me!”
a cocky grin, almost a little condescending. “i didn’t ‘cockblock’ you, babes. you weren’t trying to get with that guy.” your eyebrow lifts and you can see realization come onto hobie’s face. “oh … you were?”
“yes! of course i was!”
“but why? you are i are together.”
“sure, hobes, but we’re not ‘together’.”
“yes we are.”
“no, we aren’t.”
“why do you think that?”
you suddenly feel a little insecure, eyes scanning the thinning crowd, ears noticing the way the volume in the pub is lowered. “because you’ve never put a label on it, bee.”
another layer of realization. hobie’s hands coming to your waist again, but this time you let him pull you in.
“i didn’t know we needed a label. but you’re my girl. and i’m your guy.”
your body heats up and you bite down onto your lower lip giddily, peeking up at hobie through your lashes.
"thought you didn't like relationships?"
"labels. i don't like labels."
there's a disruption in the atmosphere. goosebumps raise on your skin, the hair on the back of your neck sticks up, and even if you weren't aware internally, the way the magazine you were previously reading floats above the table would've tipped you off.
the portal opens shortly after, but you knew it was coming. it took hobie a while to tell you that he was spiderman, longer to convince you that he was spiderman, and a while longer to convince you of the existence society, and even though you know, you still get a little shocked whenever a portal opens.
he comes through first, thud of his heavy boots against the floor of his flat. the spoon in your mouth clings against the side of the bowl, your free hand reaches out to the tv remote to pause the episode as you look over at hobie.
"oi, didn't know you were still here." is all he says before he's walking over, pulling his mask off on the way, and leaning down. your head tilts up instantly to meet his lips in a kiss, your body warming with the way his hand pushes into the back of the couch, slender but muscular form caging you in.
you expect him to sit beside you and force you to give a recap of the episode, but he stands back, and then three other people come through the portal.
"oh ... are we expecting guests?" surprise sits in your words, the tone amplified when hobie takes your bowl of cereal out of your hands to finish it off himself.
"right," he speaks through mouthfuls, saying your name as an introduction to the other three. "this is pav, miles, and gwendy. spider people." you nod, waving at each.
"this here, is my girlfriend." three sets of spider-eyes widen with the admission and you can already sense what's coming.
"wow, you're pretty. 's nice to meet you."
"i knew it! i could sense the tension as soon as we got here."
"you have a girlfriend? wait. i thought you didn't like labels."
a small smile on your face as you tuck your hands in the pocket of hobie’s sweatshirt that you wear.
in coordination learned from how close you two are, you speak at the same time.
"he doesn't like consistency."
"don't like consistency, mate."
#hobie brown x reader#hobie brown x you#hobie brown smut#hobie brown fluff#spider punk x reader#spider punk x you#spider punk#celeste writs mcu#hobiesworld!#hobie brown#spider man across the spider verse
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