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privateraelle · 2 years

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your honest thoughts on the motherland finale?

oh boy jsdfks i knew this ask was gonna come up one way or another so i guess i might get it out of the way now. that finale was bad. disappointing. i've never said a single bad thing about motherland. like. ever. i've always trusted the writers and eliot to handle things like they did with s1 and s2 and even though s2 was a bit messy, it was good. but what happened last night was one big messy clusterfuck. i was sad, mad, on the verge of tears because of how bad it was. i've always been the biggest "trust the writers" idiot and i kinda wanna eat my hand now cause sdjfkds i trusted the writers and they fucked me over but it's okAY i'm fine i'll get over it cause someone whom i adore very much can write me a fix fic. anyway this show has been my comfort show for 2 years and it has given me one of the best experiences i've ever had. it has also introduced me to people that are everything to me and i won't ever forget how good it has made me feel, always. so, this is just constructive criticism of something i love.

so, my thoughts, no specific order, just things that won't leave my mind and won't let me and my brain process how stupid everything was:

no closure for any character. like. at all. it's literally an open ending and i know eliot was maybe hoping he would have more chances for the show to get picked up by another network but??? what the fuck was that. there are so many questions that stay unanswered and so many things that make no sense AT ALL and for what. what happened after everybody became a witch? did they end conscription? if that's not the case, why would raelle and scylla go back to the army willingly knowing they wanted to escape? leaving those things to the imagination of the audience is not good storytelling mister, it's bad writing and it's so unserious. when tally got her sight back, they could've shown the audience the characters' future instead of doing whatever they did in that final scene. they should've provided a solid conclusion to the show, they knew it was their last season and they didn't deliver.

so many unnecessary scenes of silver and hearst and his fucking sister which surprise!! is still out and didn't make a final appearance. she was introduced as a new character and her purpose was what exactly? being a mean sister? yeah, okay i guess. unnecessary. they wasted so much time on useless scenes of the camarilla being bad™ when it added absolutely nothing to the plot (hearst singing???? jesus fucking christ what was eliot on), instead of giving us things we genuinely care about. like haha the main fucking couple they forgot existed til ep 8.

that's the next thing i'm gonna talk about. raylla was done so fucking dirty this season. i know all about tay's accident and i'm so glad she healed completely but there was no reason to keep them apart for so many episodes after she was back to filming?? i wasn't mad about raelle reuniting with the unit first, like, not at all. i loved it. but scylla being kidnapped for no reason at all and them not reuniting til next episode was a big dick move and again, unnecessary. their reunion was spoiled in the actual trailer of the season which made it even more anticlimactic and dull, thank god amalia and taylor put their whole souls into them or i wouldn't have felt a single thing. don't get me started on how they have butchered raelle and how they took a lot of fucking liberties with her character. you're telling me raelle was okay with not knowing where scylla was for a whole ass WEEK and she was just straight up chillin' and not losing her shit? nah, i don't think so. anyway, their scenes are cut short and have the length of a tiktok video. when was their last meaningful conversation as a couple?? idk probably in s2 cause they haven't had those in s3, not even in the first episodes where all they gave us were lil amalia/taylor touches n glances. the proposal and the wedding felt rushed, ridiculous and like something they did to shut people up. "they got married what more do you want?" an on-screen relationship with actual fucking scenes that show how the characters feel towards each other, maybe, idk could be wrong. they were not treated like the main couple this season and it's been a hard pill to swallow but it's true. the finale was just scylla holding raelle and carrying her around and that's it. gregorio and tally, a couple that got together LAST EPISODE got a kiss and a worried hug and we got!! nothing!! haha yeah. not even an ending for them. the setup was there. the lighthouse, raelle and scylla running together and living near the beach. instead we got them standing next to each other like they're best buds. welp, at least they're not dead, right?

scylla's treatment was also bullshit. they did an exceptional job on making her part of the unit just to throw her under the bus last minute and sideline her character at the end. that last scene felt empty without her. i know the show's always been about the unit, i agree. but scylla's part of the unit now. she should've been there. instead, she just carried raelle around, and did nothing. what a waste. amalia knows her way around stunts, they should've made her fight and show us what she's actually capable of. but whatever.

anacostia's death pissed me off so much. it was anticlimactic and pretty avoidable if you ask me. i remember last night when watching the ep, i didn't even react to her death because it felt so ??? stupid?? that i was like "haha dude she's not dead". and she was? what the fuck eliot. it didn't make sense for the plot, it was just a big fuck you to us all and a stupid attempt at pulling a plot twist. it wasn't a plot twist, it was absurd. the audience didn't even have time to mourn her. if they wanted to kill someone and make the audience feel something, they should've gone for petra. i know miss ashley would've delivered a performance. but anacostia's death was pointless and mister sterling what's his name wasn't the person she should've died for. if they wanted to kill her so bad, she should've died protecting the unit.

can someone explain to me how making everyone a witch solves the world's problems? what was eliot thinking? forcing everyone to be the same, erasing their identities and differences and giving the camarilla (remember!! bad people who hate witches!!) actual power to fight them and kill them seems pretty stupid to me. also the big epic moment didn't feel like one. it felt pretty dull.

okay, some positive feelings:

i really missed arlen's nicte. i'm really glad she made a last appearance. nicte is my bestie i love her.

the whole raylla/adigail convo about the lighthouse and the ocean. beautiful.

raelle healing scylla and refusing to let anything happen to her.

izadora is a fucking beast i'm so glad she's not dead. the scene of her laughing in alban's face. GOLD.

abi being the last steward <3

and that's pretty much it. i'm sure i'm leaving sooo many things behind but this is as much as i can think of right now. i'll be mad for a few days and then i'll start giffing to numb the pain i guess sjfds.

#ask #anonymous #sorry for the long answer dsjfkds

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marquisoforder · 3 years

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Ranking the Nine Princes of Hell from TSC from the least to most sexy

(Technically 8 cause Lucifer is just a chair but eh)

8) Coming in at dead last we have Asmodeus cause I hate this generic white man energy he’s giving here. He’s the demon of Lust cause the only way he could get bitches was by tricking and manipulating them. He’s serving Frankenstein’s Monster had a baby with a CEO from a yaoi hentai realness here. The Worst of the Demons? More like the Worst Dressed of the demons! Black tie with a white suite? 🤮Sir are you out of your goddamn mind? Did Raphael bonk you on the head until your fashion sense left? -1/10 you are simply hideous sir

7) Coming in at number 7 we have Mammon looking like Jeff Bezos’s capitalistic wet dream. How are you literally all about money but still look tacky as hell? This man shows up to the MET Gala in a tux with no effort whatsoever I can just feel it in my bones. All these eyes but you still couldn’t locate a better fit. I was gonna ask why he looks constipated but then I read the part where he eats blood and gold for every meal so he’s obviously suffering from indigestion. (And it shows king, it really shows) 0/10 - Do fucking better and get a plastic surgery or a proper diet with all the money you are hoarding up

6) At number six we’ve got Belphegor. Honestly I’d have ranked him much higher if it wasn’t for the goat skull situation going on there like what’s up with that king? Is this a political statement? Or are you just taking covid precautions? Either way I can’t rank you higher than six with that face. (Even tho the body is definitely 1. Like you mean to tell me a demon with abs like those is the demon of laziness? He ain’t lazy if he’s grinding in the gym which he apparently is cause he’s legit shredded.) also kinda cute that you were married to a mortal. Maybe if they pegged you you wouldn’t have denounced the institution of marriage. (Try it next time. I’m certainly up if you are 👀 haha jk unless 😳) 5/10 - Sorry about your goat head

5) On the position of number five we have the one and only Leviathan! He��s not a fallen angel! He’s not like other girls! He’s edgy, he’s sensitive, he’s sad, nobody understands him. He kins Ebony Dementia Darkness Raven Way. But in a sexy way. I like what you’ve done with the hair. Paired with completely black eyes he’s essentially the perfect Scene Boy™️ from back in the day. He would have been Tumblr famous. Even now he has the capacity to become one of Tumblr’s sexy man (derogatory) cause he has the same vibe as Jotun Loki. 6/10 - No Comments cause I’m worried he might actually just eat me.

4) Belial is number four cause while he’s definitely good looking there’s something about him that screams I’d Mansplain Your Own Period To You. Probably invested in Bitcoin and trying to overheat the planet to death. Not gonna lie whatever he’s doing with his hands is actually giving model, it’s giving Timothy chalamet, it’s giving white boy who paints nails and wears rings and doesn’t shut up about it. The hair is actually really cool and I wish my hair looked that effortlessly good. Whatever hair products you stole from Brad Mondo, I want some rn 😤 6.5/10 - idk still kinda basic tho

3) Moving on to the top three we have Azazel! I liked him when we saw him in TMI. He’s giving fuck boy archie andrews here. Probably says baby girl unironically. Are his pants sagging or are they two toned? That’s a secret he’ll never tell. The reason he was cast down from hell is actually because god was jealous of that one lock of hair that falls perfectly across his forehead. His nails are done, his hair is perfect, his abs look rock hard. All in all has that all-American rugged good looks to him. 7/10- red hair actually looks good on you king keep it up

2) Our runner up is none other than Astaroth! Look at that serve! Look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn’t belong on the cover of a cheap erotica novel about fallen angels!!! The glance downwards, the wings bared, the contrast of the red cloth with the black wings!! He did not come to play because for Astaroth, the world is a runaway and he’s a model. The luscious hair and the sexy torso scars truly sets this man apart. I’m not big on selling my soul but for you king, I’d fr put that shit on eBay for 50 cents. You think you were misjudged and pleads your case? Lemme be your defense attorney king, I’ll fight God in a Denny’s parking lot for you no questions asked. 9/10 - Unlike Belphegor I still believe in the institution of marriage so ahahaha 👀😌 iykwim

1) And finally our top boy from Hell is… none other than Samael himself! That cute lil feather on the hat paired with that Jack sparrow red scarf really shows he knows how to work a fit. The rolled up sleeves got me 👀 at his forearms like I’m a Victorian man seeing a bit of ankle. This demon legit looks like a man young Taylor Swift would write a song about. He’s young, he’s hip, he probably has a fashion tiktok and does mad transitions from outfit to outfit. 10/10 wouldn’t do this man’s sexiness justice cause he’s simply too sexy for such a trivial scale.

#the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #princes of hell #cassandra clare #shadowhunters #asmodeus #astaroth #samael #bilael #mammon #belphegor #leviathan #azazel #the mortal instruments #the infernal devices #magnus bane #jace herondale #tessa Carstairs #malec

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omegalomania · 3 years

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I think tumblr ate my ask or it just didn't sent but what are your favorite Bastille songs / what are some songs you recommend?

i did NOT get this ask im very sorry anon.

it's genuinely hard for me to narrow down cause bastille is pretty up there in terms of favorite artists. i love all their shit, but a special mention goes out to their second studio album wild world since it's the one that made me a Fan

uh so here's a primer i guess i spent too much time on this lmao.

if you wanna listen to their big hits:

flaws - their first single in the uk. if you ever listened to ship playlists on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 then you've probably heard this song or a variant on it at some point.

pompeii - this is the song that really put them on the map and you definitely know it. it dominated the charts all over the place.

happier - the marshmello song that you've definitely heard before too. i think bastille wrote this for justin bieber or some shit but then decided they liked it too much to give it to him? lmao. anyway if you're not digging the version you hear on the radio all the time i recommend trying the stripped down version

good grief - their big hit off their second album. big in the uk, didn't really make as many waves elsewhere, but it's a really solid song anyway. one of those "upbeat tunes that's actually really fucking sad" ones

things we lost in the fire - another one off their first album. if you live in a wildfire area this might not be one to turn to. or maybe you'll find it cathartic idk i certainly do!!

quarter past midnight - a song about escapism, as was fitting when it was released in 2018 and equally fitting now. running away for a night of fucking around with friends, craving any kind of brief departure from the chaos of the modern world

skulls - this one was not a hit or a single and is technically a bonus track but i'm including it because once again if you ever clicked on a ship playlist on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 you've heard this one. and you know what that was justified this one is also good

if you wanna feel existentially depressed:

their whole discography. i mean i kid but i also don't. that's just kind of how bastille does it. BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS ones that hit me in particular would beeee

two evils - kind of a grim, haunting one introspecting about morality of the self.

oblivion - musing about the afterlife, love, and how time changes all of us.

those nights - contemplating what it is we seek when we plunge into reckless escapism, and the inherent loneliness of it; how even when surrounded by people there's still the pressure of the world outside, continuously coming to pieces

the draw - this one was written about the pull of pursuing a career in music vs. staying home with family and friends. in a broader sense, it can apply to a lot of things. i always felt it resonated with feelings of paranoia and displacement

winter of our youth - discusses childhood, nostalgia, and regret. if it feels like everything's slipping away, is it easier to relive the past, especially if the past is tinted rose?

sleepsong - loneliness, desperation, and the cyclical, abyss-like nature of all it encapsulates

if you want discussion of serious topics:

final hour - a bonus track off their second album that also became a bonus track off their third album? anyway this song talks about climate change and gun control. happy stuff

doom days - this one talks about, uh, everything! doomscrolling, political divides, escalating national tensions, climate change again, etc.

the currents - a song centered on political rhetoric and the power that figureheads have over the masses, the way they can orchestrate hate. basically it's not so subtly aimed at donald trump lmao, dan's literally sung it as much in a few live settings

WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? - social media addiction and the way capitalism and corporate interests have annexed our online experiences, fighting desperately for our attention as they seek to monetize every available aspect of our lives

four walls (the ballad of perry smith) - well this one is about uh. perry smith. who was charged with the death penalty for killing 4 people in the late 50's. but it's less directly about him and more a discussion of the morality of the death penalty and capital punishment

snakes - burgeoning anxieties and the impulse to turn to easy outs, like ignorance or alcoholism, to escape the world's global problems

if you want some pop culture sprinkled on top:

icarus - greek mythology. i like this one because it addresses something that i feel isn't addressed enough in discussions of this myth, which is that icarus is a very young lad. less about the pride of the fall, and more about the inherent tragedy of that.

laura palmer - the whole song is a david lynch shoutout. i've never seen twin peaks myself but the song still slaps.

daniel in the den - christian mythology. discusses the biblical tale of daniel in the lion's den and links that up to themes of betrayal and family.

poet - this one's a double feature, referencing both william shakespeare's sonnet 18 and edmund spencer's sonnet 75. also one of my favorites.

send them off! - this is another one of my favorites of theirs. it's also been described by dan as "othello meets the exorcist" and it very much delivers there

if you want something uplifting:

joy - while bastille (understandably) has a bit of reputation as a band that makes sad music about sad things, they've definitely got some happier songs in their catalogue. pun intended cha ching. this one's one of their more straightforwardly happy tunes

survivin' - this was a song they wrote while they were touring and then felt weird about releasing once the panini hit because it felt a bit on the nose. they ended up releasing it anyway and i am so glad they did cause it's a mood

act of kindness - the "happy" part here is debatable but i'm gonna include it anyway. it’s when someone does something nice for you and that impulse Changes you way down deep you know???

warmth - one of those "the world's going to shit but at least we have each other" kinds of tunes

the anchor - one of those "the world's going to shit but you're the one fucking thing that's still keeping me here" kinds of tunes

give me the future - their latest single as of this writing and one of the more optimistic tracks in their catalogue imo! it's yearning, but it's also with a genuine hope for the future.

and LASTLY. because im going to take every chance i can to plug this band. im going to throw some collabs and covers at you because there's one thing this band does SUPER well and it's collabs and covers.

of the night - this is the big one. it mashes up rhythm of the night by corona and rhythm is a dancer by SNAP! and it's so good they still do this one live and it goes off every time.

no angels - a mashup of "no scrubs" by TLC and "angels" by the xx, poured into a strangely mournful tune with clips from the hitchcock movie psycho. doesn't sound like it should work but it does. kinda really does.

torn apart - with GRADES and lizzo no less!!! it's got two parts but they're both excellent listen to them both

weapon - collab with angel haze, dan priddy, and F*U*G*Z and one of my absolute favorites

remains - remix of their song "skulls" but featuring rag'n'bone man and skunk anansie that adds an entire new dimension to the song, really fucking excellent

old town road mashup - lil nas x's old town road meets lizzo's good as hell meets radiohead's talk show host meets talking heads' road to nowhere meets the osmond's crazy horse. "what the fuck that shouldn't work" i KNOW and yet here it is!! BLATANTLY BANGING!!!

we can't stop - one of the few times dan smith subtly changes the lyrics of the song he's covering (most of the time he opts to keep the original pronouns and the like, which is very nice to see). anyway this one mixes miley cyrus's we can't stop with eminem's lose yourself and billy ray cyrus's achy breaky heart. and also the lion king's i just can't wait to be king is there. yes i know it sounds batshit especially because the whole thing is surprisingly melodic and heartfelt and you know what it works.

anyone but me x nightmares - mashing up joy crookes' anyone but me with easy life's nightmares and absolutely one of my favorites.

bad guy mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "bad" in the title? we've got bad guy (billie eilish), bad decisions (bastille), bad romance (lady gaga), and bad blood (taylor swift). bastille even has a song called bad blood and they didnt use it. they used taylor swift's version. also the distinctive guitar riff from dick dale's misirlou is there.

somebody mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "some" in the title? someone like you (adele), somebody told me (the killers), somebody to love (queen), use somebody (kings of leon), and someone you loved (lewis capaldi). seriously these guys take mashups to a new level.

final song - this is a cover of MØ's final song. it also adds in craig david's 7 days and, impossibly enough, europe's final countdown. how does it work. how.

ALL RIGHT. THATS ALL IVE GOT IN ME. HOPE THIS HELPED ANON AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH

#askin hours #anon #bastille #ill put this in the bastille tag why not #this is predominantly a fall out boy blog but if any bastille bloggers are out there....all like 20 of you....#i see the work u do in this fandom and i love u for it

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needyoulikeaheartbeet · 4 years

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FOLKLORE FIRST THOUGHTS

ft. very little editing LONG SONGS! LONG SONGS! AESTHETIC TITLE! 63 MINUTES!

1. the 1

PIANO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg her voice is so soft if you wanted me you really shouldve showed IF YOU NEVER BLEED YOURE NEVER GONNA GROW OMG ALREADY A BANGER LINE OMG HOW SHE SINGS THE BRIDGE YESSSSSS THATS CATCHYYY

2. cardigan*

DEEP VOICE SULTRY OOOOOOOOOO the piano reminds me of jazz the IIIII hand under my sweatshirt baby kiss it better omg this is sexi ? OMGGGGGGGGGGGG wow the chorus and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said i was your favourite WOW playing hide and seek part omg her voice the IIIII part is sooooooooo nice omg this is hot but sad but like NICE THE STRINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JADORE TELLEMENT you drew stars around my scars but now im bleeding THE STRINGS THE CHORUS THIS IS SO GOOOOOOOD IM CRYING PETER LOSING WENDY this is tugging on my heart strings... that bridge... wow... im literally crying tears rolled down my cheeks wow that was so beautiful im still crying LOL

3. the last great american dynasty

oo that twang-y in the distance im still crying from cardigan sorry all her what friends? was that bleeped? LOL [The clean version of the album on Spotify was available for me before the explicit version] omg how she sangboys you can HEAR her smiling i love it so much my precious bean THESE STORYTELLING LYRICS I NEED TO RELISTEN TO IT ALL STARLIGHT VIBES? omg i had a marvelous tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime <3

4. exile (FEAT BON IVER!!!! OMG?!!!)*

i love how much piano there is in this taylor i love it thank u WHAT A RICH VOICE youre not my homeland anymore?? so what am i defending nwo? im baby STRINGS!!!! <3 this reminds me of the last time kinda duet i cri balancing on breaking bridges im not your problem anymore so who am i offending omg wow her voice is so pretty i gave so many <3

5. my tears ricochet

omg the intro is nice is that her voice? or keyboard voices i didnt have it in myself to go with grace that electronic voice during chorus reminded me of getaway car... i c u jack + the beat... in the bridge wait wake? I NEED LYRICS TO FOLLOW ALONG SKFSKDFNS TOO DISTRACTED AND CONSUMED BY THE MUSIC [I was indeed distracted and not following the lyrics so I thought the wake was connected to one of the previous songs gskng I was like who died omg dummy]

6. mirrorball

ooo this sounds pretty from the start this sounds like a gem i find on youtube at 2 am when no one is around my dear! oooo i like AW SHINING JUST FOR YOU! IN HER HIGHEST HEELS, LOVE? That's so cute i can change eerything about me to try to fit in is SO relatable her vocals r so pretti aw this song makes me smile, the bridge was v cute [Little did I know when I’d relisten and read the lyrics that this song is not one to make you smile ma’am]

7. seven

this is different! this doesnt even sound like her omg but its so nice omg the verse hehe cute THE STRINGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YES big fan aw is this from kids pov? pirates poor lil bb sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart wont tell no other

this is different but beautiful

8. august

oooo yes another youtube sounding gem with the quality of the music and her voice oh wow how she sang more OMG YES louder THIS IS NICE twisting in bed sheets aw cause u were never mine oh wow after second chorus the MUSIC YES THIS IS SO NICE IM SO HAPPY AND CONSUMED one ting? huh? cancel plans in case you call... omg

MEET ME BEHIND THE MALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you werent mine to lose aw... this song i like a lot

omg the story telling im crying i missed this so much it reminds me of fearless era this is so wow tat resumed loudly LOL i laff but omg this is like happy but sad at the same time THE STRINGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I CANT THIS MUSIC IS SO NICE I WANT IT TO CONSUME ME AND JUST LISTEN TO IT FOREVER like an instrumental version. just driving. even this version. this was so nice. i missed storytelling like this. i adore

9. this is me trying

i like dis so far yes, another youtube gem ORCHESTRA my words shoot to kill when im mad i have a lo of regrets about that sphere omg at least im trying!!! wow ma'am that was so pretty ???? the build up to the bridge wow jack?

10. illicit affairs*

beautiful guitar, wow omg yes those vocals?? lil guys? or is that guitar i like oh wow yeah def an illicit affair huh this is pretty folk dis make me sad but excellent storytelling omg

clandestine meetings ooooo the BRIDGE YES omg !!!! youve shown me colours that you know i cant see with anyone else you taught me a secret language i cant speak with anyone else OWWWWWWW

11. invisible string

this is fun to dance to its so cute bad blood ? *side eye emoji* prechorus is really nice and catchy her voice is so nice ugh i like this bridge <3 is this about joe? chains around my demons one single thread of gold tied me to you!!!! centennial park blues then purple pink skies! lover <3

12. mad woman

nice piano and strings the beat o wow i hate you forever (... is this clean? fuck you forever?) UPDATE IT IS FUCK YOU FOREVER WOO! omg you found something to wrap your noose around w o w, that's so powerful women like hunting witches too; omg wanting me dead has brought you two together wow but when she sang it wow i love watching you climb over people like me wow this is pain :( the vocals in the background are so nice and add to the feeling it makes my tummy sad :(

those back vocals make me think she can still sing safe and sound live one day maybe so tha tmakes me happy though

13. epiphany

the intro feels like an epiphany lemme tell ya i close my eyes thats nice i dont understand whats happening i need lyrics to follow along but it sounds nice strings <3 does this have to do with the wake? the outro is so soothing british accent?

14. betty

country! this is country! COUNTRY! OMG SHES SINGING COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOO!!!!!!! LIKE ACCENT! OMG the classic storytelling... taylors so good at this my god the worst thing that i ever did was what i did to you PARDY music between chorus and bridge UGH YES JAMES! YESSSS THE SOLO BREAKDOWN yes the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you i showed up at your party? aw! (and then you kicked me out LOL) will you have me will you love me will you kiss me on the porch aw shes so talented wtf. man aw standing in your cardigan kissing in my car again stopped at a street light you know i miss you aw [this was the clear trio clue lol]

15. peace

omg that guitar yes sexi rich deep yez thats so nice

that was catchy omg (when she started) OMG IT IS CENSORED...... i talk * with my friends? GIVE US THE UNCENSORED GOODIES CMON!!! oh i just saw the one thats explicit CLOWNS TO THE WEST WEY IT US aw the rains always gonna come when youre standing with me

16. hoax

so simple, vocals and piano wowie omg best laid plan around there the STRINGS are stunning. seriously stunning wow im obsessed this is nice sad feels the guitar added agh yes omg im gonna cry it still hurts beneath my scars when tey pulled me apart im cryin.... that part im cryin!!!!!!!!! THIS WHOLE BIT the background vocals are stunning her voice :( the stirngs :( the piano :( the guitar :( the simplicity :( me saying okay and nodding while crying

Note. The asterisk was me trying to decode which songs were part of the trio, but I kind of lost track and got confused once we hit Betty / I was too distracted by it being country hahaha

#folklore #first listen #personal #taylor swift #taylor swift folklore #folklore taylor swift #taylurking #taylornation #taylor nation

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loseyoutoloveme · 4 years

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can you do a rundown/review of every song on folklore like you've done for selena? and what your current top 5 are??

considering this is officially one of my top 3 favourite albums ever i’m v happy to 😌! warning, absolutely every single song will be ranked 10/10

thank for wanting to know my thoughts :( i can’t believe anybody would volunteer to read this JDNSKSDJKDS

first of all, my top 5 is probbbbably gonna change (maybe not tho bc my lover top 5 hasn’t really changed a lot), but for now, i think it’s: august > seven > mad woman > illicit affairs > mirrorball

THE 1:

ngl my very first thought was that it reminded me of same love by macklemore skdjdskjdskjsd but not in a bad way!

literally some of the prettiest lyrics, i knew just from this song that this would top red as her best lyrically (best album in general)

honestly just rly sad and sweet and one of those songs that has such a universal sound i feel?

also the simplest song of the album lyrically (also not in a bad way, just like objectively this is the easiest subject matter on the album with the least opaque lyrics), so a really good opener

best lyrics: “we never painted by the numbers baby but we were making it count/you know the greatest loves of all time are over now” and “we were something don’t you think so/roaring twenties tossing pennies in the pool/and it my wishes came true it would’ve been you”

a cute girl, 10/10

CARDIGAN:

i was surprised by the darkish sound of this one

idk what that like clanking sound in the background is but i find it a lil distracting in the first half of the song - but if i ever find out what it is and it has some symbolic meaning/purpose for being there (i assume it does) i’ll accept it sdjknsd

i love the nostalgia that is so present in like almost every song on this album :(

also the music video is stunning and frames the entire album in the most interesting way, metaphor-wise

best lyrics: “i knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss/knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs/the smell of smoke would hang around this long/cause i knew everything when i was young/i knew i’d curse you for the longest time/chasin’ shadows in the grocery line/i knew you’d miss me when the thrill expired/and you’d be standing in my front porch light/and i knew you’d come back to me”

10/10

THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY:

love this one bc it’s like a nice lil exhale in an album filled with angst, like it’s cute and boppy without being aggressive

i’m suddenly absolutely obsessed with rebekah harkness, particularly the “bitch pack” thing and her dyeing someone’s dog green

i love taylor’s storytelling and i love how that’s always been a big part of her approach to songwriting. this is taylor at her best narration, like starlight but so much better. this is a type of songwriting that is so underused these days, esp by mainstream artists and i love so much that she has always used it and been so invested in it

the pronoun change made me screech. sooo goooood

taylor’s obv a deeply autobiographical artist which is why it’s so incredible to hear her tell OTHER people’s stories and somehow make them so her own. like i think it’s mostly the english major in me that just gets so emotional over that...... the way that other people’s stories became our own through the way we tell them......

this song is def the one that is most explicit about the album’s theme of telling stories but ones that tell something about her (and about her listeners too), by switching to personal pronouns at the end. it sets up a pattern for the rest of the album, where each song is about one thing (the actual story she’s telling) but also about a bunch of other things.

a good example of why she’s the greatest songwriter of this generation

best lyrics: “there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen/she had a marvelous time ruining everything”

10/10

EXILE:

bon iver’s voice was a full shock to the system the first time i listened and idk why sdkjnds it is just so deep and i was not at all expecting it esp after the cuteness of tlgad

anyway these lyrics are GORGEOUS

i love a duet where the 2 singers’ lyrics are meant to be directed at each other. is there a word for that type of duet idk but it always makes a duet infinitely better

the miscommunication exemplified in the bridge...... chef’s kiss heartbreaking

out of all the songs this is the one that makes me feel the most like i am in the middle of a forest in winter. i can already picture myself listening to this song in december with the sound of a crackling fire in the background mmmmmmmm my exact vibe

best lyrics: “you’re not my homeland anymore/so who am i defending now?/you were my town, now i’m in exile seeing you out” and “i’m not your problem anymore/so who am i offending now?”

10/10

MY TEARS RICOCHET:

this chorus BRRROOOOKE ME

writing songs presumably about the masters situation and framing them as breakup songs was absolutely galaxy brain

i feel like the image of tears ricocheting has like a million layers to it and is just suuuuch a smart metaphor

also just such a visually rich song ? so is every song on the album but the metaphors of this song are all just so visual

best lyrics: “i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace/and you’re the hero flying around saving face/and if i’m dead to you why are you at the wake?” and “i can go anywhere i want/anywhere i want, just not home”

10/10

MIRRORBALL:

ok so i did like this one on first listen, i loved absolutely everything on first listen, but it didn’t hit my top 5 until like 8 listens later, so it’s def a big grower and i think could be a huge fan fav by next year

the self-awareness in her writing will never fail to amaze me

the way that life is just performing...... yeah

but it’s crazy to me that a person could be like “i’m a compulsive people pleaser and performer and i’ll do anything to get ppl to like me” and that leads to “i am a disco ball” like ???? her brain is so big. it’s such a gorgeous metaphor.... and the circus imagery AHHHHH

best lyrics: “i’m still on that tightrope/i’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me/i’m still a believer but i don’t know why/i’ve never been a natural, all i do is try try try/i’m still on that trapeze/i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me” and “i can change everything about me to fit in”

10000/10

SEVEN:

this one simply rips my heart out

at first i was like oh this is so weird and then the chorus just would not leave my head

for me personally, nostalgia is literally 90% of my personality and just for so many personal reasons the thought of childhood ending and all of the growing pains that come along with that have been at the forefront of my psyche for the past year. so it just kills me whenever i find a song like this one and it kills me that taylor specifically has several songs about this topic and this is 100000% the best of them all. like it’s the most beautiful experience to have your thoughts and feelings and fears expressed so perfectly by a total stranger, and that’s rly what art is about and i love taylor for doing that for me and millions of other people

i just feel like this song brings up so many vivid beautiful memories of childhood for so many people, like being outside in the summer and screaming and being free. ugh

the pause after “i hit my peak at seven” before completing the phrase........ OOOOOOOOOF IT HITS TOO HARD

and sound-wise, just so off-beat and cool and unique

best lyrics: “i hit my peek at seven/feet in the swing across the creek” and “are there still beautiful things?” and “love you to the moon and to saturn/passed down like folk songs/the love lasts so long” and “before i learned civility/i used to scream ferociously/any time i wanted”

100000000000/10

AUGUST:

i knew immediately that this would be my favourite tbh like i could sense it the second it began

i wrote my first impression thoughts in my journal and you can tell the exact moment i got to the bridge bc i just started screaming sdnjksdkjsdn

i would 100% get a tattoo that said “to live for the hope of it all”

everything about this song is LITERALLY flawless like i have.......no notes......no thoughts.......it’s just an absolutely perfect song

best lyrics: “back when we were still changing for the better/wanting for was enough/for me it was enough/to live for the hope of it all" and “august sipped away like a bottle of wine/cause you were never mine”

100000000000000000000000000/10

THIS IS ME TRYING:

this song is rly good but i keep forgetting it exists omg :/ once i learn all of the lyrics i’ll appreciate her more

the strings are gorgeous

i was rly surprised that this one was done with jack instead of aaron just bc the bridge of this sounds SOOOO the national

these lyrics could be interpreted in so many different ways depending on the listener’s experiences and that’s beautiful

best lyrics: “i was so ahead of the curve/the curve became a sphere/fell behind all my classmates and i ended up here” and “it’s hard to be at a party when i feel like an open wound/it’s hard to be anywhere these days when all i want is you/you’re a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town”

10/10

ILLICIT AFFAIRS:

that soft high note on “down,” “stop,” etc is sooooo nice

i don’t have many thoughts on it, it’s just so soft, SOOOOOO gorgeous instrumentally and lyrically

best lyrics: “it’s born from just one single glance/but it dies and it dies and it dies/a million little times” and “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby/look at this godforsaken mess that you made me/you showed me colours you know i can’t see with anyone else” and “you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else/and you know damn well/for you i would ruin myself/a million little times”

100000/10

INVISIBLE STRING:

like i said about tlgad, this is a nice little break from all the angst and pain and anger sdnjksdnskjsd just a sweet little break to remind u there are good things in the world too. so placed really well in the tracklist imo

super super super super cute chorus

so many pretty melodies

absolutely an autumn song btw

best lyrics: “time, mystical time/cutting me open, then healing me fine”

10/10

MAD WOMAN:

i literally lost my mind listening to this for the first time

i have such a thing for scorned women anthems like i will immediately love it whatever it is

the pure rage when she says “cause you took everything from me” gives me full body chills

it is just so eerie and haunting and perfect

best lyrics: “women like hunting witches too/doing your dirtiest work for you/it’s obvious that wanting me dead/has really brought you two together” and “every time you call me crazy i get more crazy/what about that?” and “good wives always know/she should be mad, should be scathing like me/but no one like a man woman”

1000000/10

EPIPHANY:

i find this one so hard to listen to but it’s absolutely beautiful and devastating and so heavily relevant for i think the whole world rn

the heart monitor and the trumpets tying both of the topics in together is so genius and so heartbreaking

i think will be the sygb of folklore where it makes everybody cry so much that it becomes a skip despite being a beautiful song

best lyrics: “something med school did not cover/someone’s daughter, someone’s mother” and “some things you just can’t speak about”

10/10

BETTY:

first of all THE HARMONICA

this made me so happy bc it’s just so debut and so fearless and it made me SOOOOO nostalgic on my first listen, because it really felt to me like i was getting to listen to a song from debut or fearless for the very first time again

it’s just so sweet and cute and simple and yet another very self-aware moment of looking back to her past material/subject matter

best lyrics: “would you have me? would you want me?/would you tell me to go fuck myself/or lead me to the garden?” and “i’m only seventeen, i don’t know anything/but i know i miss you”

10/10

PEACE:

the bass at the beginning is soooooo nice

this miiiiiight be the strongest song on the album lyrics-wise but idk yet

not much to say, it’s just so gorgeous

best lyrics: “i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm/if your cascade ocean wave blues come/all these people think love’s for show/but i would die for you in secret” and “would it be enough if i could never give you peace?” and “i talk shit with my friends, it’s like i’m wasting your honour”

10/10

HOAX:

i have a feeling this one will be underrated/underappreciated bc it’s just simple and dark and the last song, but this is....... a lyrical masterpiece

i feel like i need to be playing this on vinyl with all of the lights off and just a candle burning yknow, like there’s just something so dark and ancient about it

best lyrics: “my winless fight/this has frozen my ground” and “your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in/don’t want no other shade of blue but you/no other sadness in the world would do” and “you knew it still hurt underneath my scars/from when they pulled me apart/but what you did was just as dark/darling this was just as hard”

10/10

OVERALL: 10000000000/10 literally one of the best albums i have ever heard and (while i wouldn’t put it past her to top it) absolutely the best work of her career. so complex and layered and emotional and painful and genuine and different. not to get ahead of myself but this is/should be considered her blue, her rumours, her abbey road....... god. can’t wait to listen to this album for the rest of my life and play it for my future children and just watch it live on as the greatest work of one of the most important artists of the 21st century

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queenharumiura · 4 years

Note

💐

Valentine’s Day Meme ||Still accepting||

[to note: as this is a vday meme, there will be a focus on romance. This is going to be more of a theoretical sort of thing given the interactions between the two aren’t much yet, and I’m not very familiar with the series that Rentaro is from. So this is going to be a fun theoretical playlist that will tell a story]

💐: A playlist for our muses

Gift of a friend- Demi Lovato

Scars to your beautiful- Alessia Cara

Human- Christina Perri

Believer- Imagine Dragons

Titanium- David Guetta ft. Sia

Confident- Demi Lovato

Count on me- Bruno Mars

I’m glad you came- The Wanted

Stand by you- Rachel Platten

I will be here- Steven Curtis Chapman

Heartbeat song- Kelly Clarkson

Can’t blame a girl for trying- Sabrina Carpenter

Teardrops on my guitar- Taylor Swift

Just the way you are- Bruno Mars

Give your heart a break- Demi Lovato

Can you feel the love tonight- Elton John

In case you’re curious I have my reasonings and explanation for choosing the songs under the readmore. It’s-- kinda lengthy;;;;;;;;;;;;

Gift of a friend

Haru gets the vibe that Rentaro is more of a loner type,which contrasts her social butterfly type. Haru is very friendly with othersand she’s quite popular in her own right. With his hobby of creature watching andpreferring insects over humans, she has the thought that he spends more of histime alone rather than immersing himself around others like she does.

This song sorta has the vibe of her feelings. She honestly hopesthat she’s wrong about the fact that he’s more of the loner type, since that’slonely. So this song embodies her hopes that he can see her as a friend and shewill try to help him open up and see the other good parts of life. Other peoplearen’t so bad. If you can make a friend out of Haru who is around your age,surely, you’ll be able to find others! Don’t worry! No matter what, Haru willbe by your side.

Scars to your beautiful

In our threads, we’ve both mentioned that Rentaro and Haruboth have crushes on people. Haru has a crush on Tsuna Sawada who… usually doesn’treally see her that way. Haru tries very hard to appeal (a bit too hard, in myopinion) to him, but he only has Kyoko in his eyes. Kyoko is a good friend ofHaru’s, so it’s hard to see that the person she likes won’t look at her themoment her friend Kyoko enters the picture.

Sometimes she’s been pushed away in favor of Kyoko as well,and that certainly would hurt in more ways than one. The way I headcanon Haruis that this has hurt her emotionally and it damaged her self-confidence. Thissong is something that she can relate to. The beginning of the song speaks toher on an emotional level. She feels ignored and hurt, but she doesn’t want toshow her pain. If she does, she doesn’t want for her friend Kyoko to feelsaddened by it. It’s not her fault that Tsuna likes her. After all, Kyoko is awonderful person. Haru is the one that’s lacking, surely.

The later portions of the song shows how she tries to cheerherself up when she’s alone, wallowing in her pain. Haru may be hurt, but inthe end, she’s an optimistic person. She’s got a lot of inner strength and she’llalways try to bring herself back up again. Haru is currently struggling withthese issues with the way I write her.

Human

This song has a slower tempo, and it is more of aself-reflecting song. She can try to hype herself up as much as she wants, andfake her smiles in order to not worry her friends. She can turn on her abilityto fake her happiness to not let anyone know how much she’s hurting. Be thatmachine that only shows what is expected of her, but it’s… tiring. The slow tempofits that tiring mood of hers. She can fake things to not worry her friends,but she’s ultimately only human. She can only hide so much of her hurt. She’sgoing to fall and get hurt, but she still has to try to stand up and be strong.

She does let it slip sometimes when she’s around others who aren’taffiliated with the Vongola, but she still tries to hide that part of her. It’sa part of her character to be positive and energetic. She can’t get down. It’snot like her. She tries to build herself up, and I’m sure her friends try to dothe same—but being ignored or brushed aside can make all that come crumblingdown. She can only take so much before she has to take time to herself and cry.Afterwards, she always builds herself back up again. The previous song is agood fit for that. This song I put lower on the list, because I feel this songshows better how continuous hurt and faking can tire you out. You start to loseenergy. Sometimes, you may start to lose yourself—like how she needs to be likea machine. Haru really doesn’t like to hurt people, so she would hate to makeanyone feel guilty because of her hurt, so she’d try to hide it as much as possible.

Believer

For some reason, I feel like this song works really well to representHaru’s frustrations. It gets really irritating after a while to be bogged downby negative feelings. Even more so annoying when you’re trying to hide thesevery feelings of yours.

I think that she feels that Rentaro is a bit of alike-minded soul, and she feels more comfortable around him to be honest withherself. I will go more in depth about it with a future song [“confident”], butI feel like after becoming friends with Rentaro, she really starts to realizehow FRUSTRATED she is. She’s upset about the way things have been and the waythings are. She needs to do better, and surely she can. She can believe thatshe can do better when she realizes that she’s so much more than she was madeto feel. The song kinda feels lowkey powerful, like Haru is now standing up andfighting for her own self. She’s going to move past the slow sadness and justfight to better herself again. She’s going to HEAL.

Titanium

A bit odd, but this song is actually a song about Haruagainst Haru. With the lyrics, it sounds like some person is attacking thesinger. In Haru’s case, it’s herself. Her self-deprecative feelings that criticizesher for her past mistakes and her not being good enough. She’s already resolvedto heal from her one-sided feeling with Tsuna, and she wants to build herselfto be strong like TITANIUM. Her thoughts can attack her all she wants, but shewill use that to fuel her desire to recover. No matter how much her thoughtsscream at her, she wants to believe she can get better. She’s WORTH something.

As she works on this process, she will learn to getstronger. She won’t fall back into those dark thoughts. She will learn to standup and be strong against anything- even figurative bullets. It’s going to be atough battle, but she will do this. She has to. The song is more upbeat and Ithink it fits well as if it musically depicts her will power for her ownbetterment.

Confident

I think this song is a good transition song that shows howHaru is starting to gain her confidence back. Having a friend who shares someof her hobbies and has a good opinion of her is very enlightening. Haru is very…passionate, and she definitely comes off as strong when she loves someone. Ilove Haru but I have to admit that. She is young so she may not know better,but she does lay it on strong. This is one of the reasons she gets pushed awaya lot, understandably so. That being said, she also got pushed away for justsaying hi because Tsuna didn’t want Kyoko getting the wrong idea. (trivia: that’swhy Haru was sensitive to the fact that she didn’t want to cause anymisunderstandings on Rentaro’s side for the Vday thing)

She is very hyperactive and a lil… on the zany side. Thissometimes either gets her in trouble, or judged by those around her. She isnormally shown not particularly caring for what others think, but I think that’smostly just her being a bit naïve. There were canon instances where her effortsweren’t appreciated, or were sort of brushed off. There are also instanceswhere she may get a ‘cold’ reception for something she does, but when Kyokodoes the same thing, suddenly the reception changes. I find it prettyhypocritical, but they are young kids here, so I get it. Still, I don’t thinkthat won’t hurt Haru. That would hurt you on a confidence level.

Like why is it that I can’t do the same thing as her? It’sthat kind of mentality. Even in the last chapter Haru finally confronted him aboutit like do you even look at Haru? Sadly, she went back to being in love withhim QuQ. I think it’s heavily hinted that Kyoko likes him back so--- I cry forHaru. So that’s essentially why I headcanon for Haru to have these feelings andpain. I personally think that Rentaro would be a good influence on her. Someonewho can appreciate her hobbies and truly appreciates her efforts. He doesn’tfind her annoying or useless [another thing she worries about].

I think befriending him helped her remember that there is moreto her than she knows. There are people who can appreciate her and think wellof her. I’m going off on a limb her and will guess that he’d accept her and herweird quirks. He thought well of her dreams of being a housewife but also beinga world-class costume maker. The fact he didn’t make fun of that and even saidsomething positive about it, really meant a lot to her. She does sometimes getmade into a butt of a joke in canon for her thoughts so I think that would be apositive thing for her. So, this song represents how she starts to truly loveherself again and remember how to be confident. Just because Tsuna didn’t payher any true attention, that doesn’t mean she’s worthless.

[Extra, but another reason why I feel like she’d feel lowkeyworth less than Kyoko is because aside from Tsuna, others pay more attention toKyoko. She’s the school idol, and she’s also the younger sister of one of the mainmembers of the Vongola. Not only that, it’s painfully obvious who Tsuna (theboss) likes, so others tend to pay more attention to her because of it.Essentially like a bias(?), and it doesn’t help that everyone goes to the sameschool except for Haru. She’s almost an outsider who somehow managed to wormher way into their friendship circle. So, Kyoko has a big advantage here, andshe doesn’t really have much. Most of what she does, it’s usually also paralleledwith Kyoko.]

Count on me

Haru is a very dedicated and loyal person. Once you becomeher friend, she is more than willing to help. Canonically, it’s been seen thatshe’s willing to risk herself for the sake of her friends. She can be ratherrash, but it shows that she’s someone who cares a lot for others, sometimes evenif it could be to the detriment of herself. From what I’ve read in our threadso far, I get the vibe that while Rentaro doesn’t seem to mesh well with otherpeople (of his age group) very well, he’s kind and caring to those he caresfor.

He’s got a sense of responsibility if him making food forothers means anything. The way he wouldn’t take advantage of Haru’s kindnessalso shows that there is a moral backbone that stems from justice. From this, Ifeel this song fits the two of them as I feel that Rentaro may reciprocate someof Haru’s feelings here. If she’s a dedicated friend who is willing to alwaysbe there for him, he likely would return the favor? If I’m wrong (sorry!),consider the song to be Haru’s one-sided feelings then. She’s a very dedicatedfriend.

Being that he’s helped her heal (whether he knows it ornot), Haru would feel very inclined to be supportive of him. She’s the type ofperson who would die for her friends, and Rentaro would also fit into thiscategory. Essentially, this song, you can say, primarily notes Haru’s wishesfor him to count on her. She wants to help him like he did for her.

I’m glad you came

I know that this song sounds more romantic but HEAR ME OUT,FRIEND. This song more accurately can be used to explain Haru’s feelings ofgratefulness. She’s truly grateful over the fact that Rentaro came into herlife and became her friend. To her, it’s amazing how things have changed in herlife for the better. I really like how the song starts out slow, but then itgets fast paced. It’s almost symbolic of how Haru’s mental/emotional state wasbefore and then after he came into her life.

She loves spending time with him, and she hopes that he doesn’tregret becoming her friend. Hopefully they can stay friends for a long time. Nomatter how much time passes, she’ll always be grateful towards him, and she’sso happy that he came into her life. This song is one of thanks. He truly didchange her universe (the emotional one).

Stand by you [&] I will be here

I liked both of these songs, since I think it can fit Haru’sfeelings of wanting to be a source of support for him as well, like he was forher. If he ever feels hurt by something, she wants to be there for him tosupport him. Maybe life is being tough on him, or maybe something is going onwith the crush of his. If he needs someone to talk to, she will be there forhim. Whatever he needs, she wants to do her best to help him in any way she can.Ignore the fact that the songs sound romantic. Just focus on the ‘I will bethere for you’ aspect of the songs. Shhhhhh. At this point, I don’t think Haruhas realized any romantic feelings yet. She thinks of it all in terms ofgratefulness.

Heartbeat song

LOL okay but—I found this song and I found it rather funny.Like with the beginning where there is a lyric like: ‘You, where the hell didyou come from? You’re a different, different kind of fun, and I’m so used tofeeling numb” had me like—Haru suddenly realizing “WAIT—what is this. What arethese feelings? Am I--?? Do I--? OMG I caught the feelings TM” It’s interestinghow crushes and love works. Sometimes it seemingly comes out of no wherebecause you didn’t realize it, or you were in denial. I feel that over time asthey spend more time together, Haru will eventually come to have feelings forRentaro—romantic ones that stem from gratefulness.

“This is my heartbeat song and I’m gonna play it. Been so long,I forgot how to turn it up up up up all night long.” These are the very firstlyrics and I think it’s great symbolism of how Haru forgot about how it felt tofeel in love for a moment and she forgot how to work with these feelings ofhers. So, this is basically a ‘HOLY CRAP- I CAUGHT FEELINGS’ sort of song. Lol Sorry,as soon as I found it, I needed to add it to this playlist. It’s not verydeep;;;;;

Can’t blame a girl for trying

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; So this song sounds prettyupbeat and kinda… funny to me? To me, this song sings about how Haru isderisively judging herself now that she’s accepted the fact that she likesRentaro. Like mentioned previously… Haru is… uh… passionate. She’s very… yeah…when she likes someone. So this song is about how she feels like this isn’tgoing to end very well because she’s dumb af. She can be her worst enemybecause of how passionate she is. Why didn’t she just keep quiet? What if shecares him away with how passionate she can be? To put it simply, this is literallya song of her worries that now that she realized she likes him, he’s going toend up scaring him away. Whoops. Even so, she can’t really blame herself fortrying. She’s a go-getter type and she knows it. OTL

Teardrops on my guitar

Haru is a person who loves to talk about love, so I’m surethat during their friendship, she would have asked many times about the personRentaro likes. She’s already talked about Tsuna a couple times in our threads,so you know that Haru is not shy about talking about love. She would definitelyask him about the girl he has a crush on.

IF he would tell her about her, Haru would support him asmuch as she can. Give him advice and all that. When she finally realizes herfeelings for him, then it’s like—oh no. I already resolved to be supportive ofmy friend. So it’s like – I gotta be supportive, but at the same time--- OUCH.So she’s pretty jealous about the person that he likes, but there isn’t afeeling of hatred. Rentaro is a good person, so surely the person he likes willequally be a great person.

If she makes him happy, she’d happily congratulate them. Ifhe’s happy, she’ll smile and hope for the best. So yeah, this song is aboutconflicted feelings, I guess?

Just the way you are

Yo—Haru is that kinda person who accepts almost everythingabout the person she likes. Hm? Yep, ignore the pronouns of the song. This isHARU’S song about Rentaro. She would totally be like ‘oh wow you did a thing.Amazing! You’re so wonderful!’ I guess you could say she gets blinded by lovelol. She’s not very judgmental that way. If she falls in love with someone, sheaccepts them for what they are. She will learn to love everything about them.

HOWEVER, like seen in the case with Tsuna in one instance,she WILL drop you like a hat if you do something that she can’t morally agreewith. In canon, there was a misunderstanding, and Haru thought that Tsunabecame a person who abused children. This is something that Haru would NEVERstand for. Children are innocent and she believes that they should beprotected. She’s very protective of children, so the moment she thought he wasabusing kids, she was more than ready to drop him like a hot rock.

Other than that, she doesn’t care. He’s famous for being a ‘nogood’ guy with little talents, and he’s not particularly known for any goodlooks either. Still, she was always very supportive and loving towards him. Shethinks that he’s an amazing person because she looks at the inside. Assumingthat Rentaro is a good and morally standing person, she truly would likeeverything about Rentaro. No matter what, she wouldn’t want anything to change,because love is about learning to accept someone and also compromise. Love isn’twhen you try to change someone to suit YOUR needs or preferences.

If you are going to change someone, you do it because youthink it will make them into a better person. I wholeheartedly feel that Haruwould agree with that statement. As such, this song is pretty accurate to how Harufeels when she falls in love with someone.

Give your heart a break

//MASSIVE SWEAT, okay so like—I don’t know much about the mediathat Rentaro is from, so I actually have no idea what his relationship is likewith his crush. I’ve no idea if they are canon or what—but because this is aValentine’s day meme--- I’m going off the premise that things didn’t work outbetween Rentaro and his crush. Sorry Rentaro;;;;;;; I’m rooting for you,honestly.

Now being serious here, let’s pretend there is a bit omissionhere. Going off the idea that things didn’t work out for Rentaro with hiscrush, Haru would in theory try to help him feel better about it by supportinghim the best she could.

He would need his own time to recover from the failure, andhe’d need his own time to notice Haru. I will not try to assume I would knowenough about him to choose songs about his POV, therefore this playlist willhave a big empty space.

All because Haru knows how it feels to not have your lovereciprocated, she’d heartedly support him. She wouldn’t take this time to tryto get him to like her. Heartbreak really hurts, and she won’t do something socowardly as to use the situation to her benefit. Haru’s really the sort to tryher best to help people, and she normally doesn’t even think about HERSELF. Thisis a girl who was more than willing to risk her life to escape from a safetyzone to try to find medicine to help a child who was very sick.

This is also the girl who was willing to fall to her deathif it meant that her two other friends wouldn’t fall with her. She was morethan willing to die for their sakes. There was little to no hesitation there. Whenher loved ones are in danger, she won’t even consider herself and she’ll do allthat she can for their benefit.

In canon, in a future arc, Haru did her best to be strong,to not allow her fear to show. She’d cry and be afraid in secrecy as to notbother the guys who were busy training for an upcoming battle. Even though shewanted nothing more than to tell them to not fight, she knew it would breaktheir resolve. She and Kyoko both had to hold back and tell them to do theirbest and to please come back safely. It’s not easy having to be thrust into adangerous situation and keep your own feelings hidden. Both girls had to remainstrong and try to be calm for their sakes.

When being told the truth about how dangerous theirsituation is, she purposefully brushed it off so she wouldn’t worry Tsuna. Shedidn’t want to start panicking at that moment or whatever because that’s notgood. It would put more of a burden on him. Instead, she walked away, and endedup crying to someone else. She mainly felt ashamed of herself for beingselfish. For context, Haru and Kyoko had gone on a strike, saying they wouldn’tcook or clean until they were told about what was going on.

On one hand it’s selfish, but in my opinion, it was theirright to know. They were suddenly thrown into a chaotic future where friendsand families were dead. In some cases, they didn’t know whether the missingpeople were still alive or not. The guys are training hard, always coming backbattered and hurt. During all of this, they were told nothing. Nothing. That’sunfair to them when they were dragged into the situation due to associationwith them. They deserved to know the truth, regardless of how scary the truthis.

They wanted to know, and so they went on strike. After beingtold the truth, Haru cried for her selfish feelings. The guys were going throughso much, but the girls selfishly went on strike because they wanted to know thetruth. She cried over this. I think this really goes to show how she tends toprioritize other people over herself with how she felt ashamed of herself. Understandablya strike is pretty intense, but they were so unwilling to tell the truth andwhen you’re caught in such a crazy environment, you’ll want to know what’sgoing on. Families are missing, friends are dead, they have to live in hiding,etc.

Not telling them the truth when they actually wanted to knowis cruel in my opinion. Sorry for the tangent, but essentially—Haru isn’t thetype to use that situation to her advantage in my opinion of her charactertype.

So I think somewhere down the line, maybe they both start torealize they have feelings for each other, but they hesitate. They haverecently recovered from heartbreak, but can they move on?

With the way I think this story plays out, they both helpedeach other with their own heart break, so they have an understanding of theother person and their pain. I think that this song is excellent in meaning. Neitherof them wants to hurt the other. They know how hurt the other was, and by what.They wouldn’t do the same things to hurt them.

Both would likely think about the other “let me give yourheart a break” because I’ll treat you right. I can treat you better than theperson who hurt you.

Can you feel the love tonight?

This is already super long, so I’m going to make this onethe last one. Arbitrarily I chose a song about how they decided to reciprocatetheir feelings for each other. Basically, a love song. It’s the last song andfinally it’s a love song lol.

Even if it is, it’s Disney. I’m sorry to be corny. I just… Ilove Disney. Forgive me. I think I chose it because it’s a cute song, but alsobecause I somehow can imagine them watching Disney movies together. Simpledates are great, please. Watching Disney together is great, please. Who doesn’tlove Lion King? Look Rentaro, you can animal watch. OTL||||||||||

I really tried to find a song that I felt would work to endthings off but it’s really hard? Trying to find a good duet song is HARD. I’vealready been working on this for over 3 hours and I’m tired QuQ Sorry for thelackluster ending. //sobs

-----------

Haha this was pretty long, and I’m sorry about that. I justget really heated about explaining my thoughts and I love to go into deep thinkingabout stuff. That’s why I ended up writing so much about this, because therewas so much to consider. If you read this, I hope it was an interesting read! Itried not to talk too much about Rentaro since I don’t have a good understandingof him. I was kinda just going off lil hunches based off what little I know of him.If this is very wrong, just consider this some weird AU ahahahha;;;;;;;;

I hope the playlist I made is good enough. Sorry if it wasn’t. QuQ

#Rentarc #Answered ask #thanks for the ask!#Neo speaks #Meme answered #((Hope this is good!))#((Sorry for taking so long-- I ended up taking this way too seriously whoops))

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queensofrap · 7 years

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The Year of Cardi B - She went from stripping to becoming the breakout star of 2017. So what's she worried about?

Cardi B is butt-naked in the doorway of her hotel bathroom, yelling about her vagina. On a mid-October evening, she's readying herself for a college show in Baltimore, and the toiletries provided by the hotel aren't to her liking. "That soap gave me the yeast infection of 2017!" she hollers in her thick Bronx accent. "My pussy was burnin' like a Mexican taco!"

It takes all of 10 seconds in Cardi B's presence to be reminded of the sheer force and hilarity of her personality. Simply being Cardi B, at maximum volume, made her a star – first on Instagram, then on the VH1 reality show Love & Hip-Hop: New York – before she'd recorded any music at all, let alone knocked Taylor Swift from the top of the pop charts with the sly swagger of her single "Bodak Yellow." She is the people's diva – or "the strip-club Mariah Carey," as she once rapped – unfiltered in a way the world often doesn't allow female stars to be. In a culture reshaped by streaming and social media, where the kids, without much corporate nudging, get to decide who the stars are, Cardi B is what you get.

Yesterday, Cardi turned 25.  She took a rare day off, hanging  with her entire family – sister, parents, cousins – at her mother's house. But she missed her boyfriend (now fiancé), Offset of Migos, who was touring in Australia. "I was sad, because it's like, 'Oh, my gosh, I'm not getting no dick on my birthday,'" says Cardi, whose bedazzled acrylic nails are decorated with tiny reproductions of Offset paparazzi shots. "But I wasn't going to get dick on my birthday anyway, because I got my period."

She finds a cleanser she can deal with and hops into the shower, before slipping into a bright-red spacesuit-inspired Milano di Rouge jumpsuit, complete with a yellow patch that reads "Safe sex saves lives," part of the designer's anti-HIV initiative. She glances at it and arches her eyebrows. "Girl," she says, "I don't even use a condom."

It may not seem like it, but this is actually a newer, more cautious Cardi B. After a few social-media controversies – including when she was justly called out for a since-deleted tweet that referred to Kim Jong Un as "Won Tung Soup" – she is trying to learn to hold back a bit. "I used to tell myself that I will always be myself," she says. But she worries that she's going back on that vow. "Little by little, I'm feeling like I'm getting trapped and muted."

Her life is changing fast. She put out her first mixtape, Gangsta Bitch Music, Vol. 1, in March last year, back when she was still Love & Hip-Hop's breakout star. It was a gloriously raw and raunchy introduction that cashed in on her TV catchphrases with songs like "Washpoppin'" and "Foreva." She released Vol. 2 in January this year, five months before announcing a major-label contract with Atlantic Records.

In June came "Bodak Yellow," named in homage to Florida rapper Kodak Black, whose song "No Flockin'" inspired its flow. "Bodak Yellow" is an unlikely Number One: a tough trap song with zero concessions to the mainstream, or even anything like a conventional pop hook. In a year when the youth power of streaming services, which now count toward chart positions, is changing the very meaning of pop, she's become the first female rapper to score a solo Number One since Lauryn Hill in 1998. Not bad for someone who initially pursued rapping as a way to monetize her reality fame. ("I said, 'TV don't make you rich,'" recalls her manager, Shaft, who once produced Lil' Kim. "'You gotta sell something! Waist trainers, hair, something.'")

The pressure is building. Her once-carefree social-media presence has drifted toward moody reflections about the downsides of fame. She's stressed about creating a debut album – the very word "album" makes her wince – that can live up to "Bodak Yellow" and the best of her mixtape tracks, not to mention the challenge of creating singles that can keep her on the charts and avoid one-hit-wonderdom. There is a chorus of doubters in her head, she acknowledges, and it sounds something like this: "Can she make another hit, can she make another hit?"

She fears failure, and paints a vivid picture of what it might look like: "If you go broke and lose your career, it's bad – and everybody is talkin' shit about it! At least if you lose your 9-to-5 you don't got millions of people judging you and talking shit while you lost your job."

Seven years ago, Cardi B was convinced she'd already failed at life. To please her mom, she was studying at a Manhattan community college with plans to become a history teacher. Born Belcalis Almanzar, she'd grown up in the Bronx's Highbridge neighborhood, and she was struggling to survive financially on her own. "It was just very sad," she says, uncharacteristically subdued. She's in the back seat of a black SUV on her way to a performance at Baltimore's Morgan State University, and the college setting is bringing back memories. "It was very frustrating – you have to pay for everything. When I finally got a job at Amish Market, I had to debate, 'Do I wanna go to class or do I wanna finish my shift?'"

She dropped out after two semesters, and soon took up stripping – a career move helpfully suggested by her Amish Market boss. "A lot of people wonder, 'Why would anybody want to be a dancer?'" she says. "Because there's money!" She used some of her stripping cash to briefly return to school. "I kept missing classes," she says, "and quit because I felt like I was already failing. It was such a disappointment."

Her strict Trinidadian mother worked seven days a week at a local college; her Dominican father, who separated from her mom when Cardi was 13, was "the cool parent," she says. For Cardi, his experience doing "different things in the streets" was a cautionary tale. "That's why I be so careful with my money and always try to invest. I see people who have it all and then lose it."

As a kid, Cardi had a sense that she was destined to do something creative, which led her to a performing-arts school on the Bronx's east side. She tried acting and singing (though she was convinced all of her classmates were better), wrote some poetry. But she'd also crack up friends and boyfriends by rewriting songs by, say, Beyoncé to make them "waaay sluttier." That hobby caught Shaft's attention years later, leading him to encourage her to pursue rapping seriously.

Until then, Cardi B relied on her abilities to charm and to hustle to pay the bills. And it worked: She quickly broke 100,000 Instagram followers in her strip-club days, expanding outward from her loyal customers, mostly on the strength of playful videos – "sucking dick" and scamming men were favored topics.

After Shaft suggested rapping, he began making beats for her at home, and helped her find a lyrical voice that matched the charm of her delivery.

But Cardi – who calls herself "a negative person" – had to overcome her own skepticism. She thought hard about her subject matter (her first single: "Stripper Hoe"), determined to defy haters "expecting me to drop something trash. It just made me, like, 'Aha, I gotta study these other rappers,'" she says. "Study how to do something different from them. You know all these female rappers, they talking about they money, they talking about they cars, so it's like, what's something that I enjoy? I enjoy fights!"

A few hours after the show, Cardi B is back in her hotel room, still wearing her red jumpsuit. She's curled up in the bed, blankets piled on top of her, talking about the future in a tone that's almost resigned. "I cannot turn my life back around," she muses. "I'm already a public figure, I'm famous. … It's like, I might as well keep it going, might as well make the money. People are always going to talk shit – I cannot make myself unfamous."

She's faced an impressively varied set of criticisms and unsolicited opinions. She's been accused of not being a real lyricist ("I'm not trying to be"); of somehow "not being black" because of her Latina heritage and light skin ("It gets to the point that you ask yourself, 'Damn, what the fuck am I?'"); of sleeping her way to the top ("I always had sex appeal – and niggas still give me a hard time"). The rapper Azealia Banks has quarreled with her, but Cardi B has tried hard not to play into the narrative that female rappers can't get along. "It's not even the female rappers that are catty, it's the fans," she says. "They just want that beef."

Her in-progress album is never far from her thoughts. "I got six, seven solid songs that I like, but I wonder if a month from now, I'm going to change my mind." All the looming expectations, she admits, are making it harder to come up with songs. "It's not as fun to do music," she says. "My mind doesn't flow as free 'cause I have so much on my mind."

She's aiming to mix the Spanish and reggae music of her youth with the trap sound that's inescapable at the moment, putting in late nights with her "Bodak Yellow" producer, J. White, and dancehall specialist Rvssian. She freely acknowledges she's chasing hits. "It's so sad to say, and I don't want to be the one to say it, but you gotta follow the trend," she says. "This generation loves to get high. They love to be on drugs. This is why they on that shit: They don't want to think about what you're saying."

She cites Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole as rappers who still write brilliant, conscious lyrics – some part of her might want to try to follow suit, but she feels like she couldn't get away with it. "A bitch like me, it might not work out for me," she says, "so I'm going to stick to trapping."

It's barely past midnight in Cardi's hotel room, and she is already exhausted. "I'm an old-ass girl now," she says with a sigh, head on a pillow. For all her outrageousness – she finished her show tonight by hopping offstage and twerking in the audience – she's not much of a partier. She stopped smoking weed at 21 because it interfered with her increasing fame and accompanying schedule. She had taken Molly as a confidence booster before stripping but doesn't need it anymore. She rarely drinks. "If I drink," she says, "it's like, my man is gonna be around, and I'm gonna have sex."

She's been with Offset since a chance meeting with him in New York in February – just after Migos scored their own Number One with "Bad and Boujee." "We polish each other," she says, noting they confer on music-biz questions. "I could always ask him, 'Do you think this is OK to do? Do you think I'm getting tricked?'"

She hasn’t been shy about the ups and downs in her relationship with Offset, like the night in October when she seemed to break up and make up with him on Instagram in the course of several hours. She also hasn’t been shy about her intentions to marry him — and, a few days before Halloween, Offset made her dreams come true, popping the question at a Philly concert with a raindrop-shaped ring. She knows she wants to have a family. "I need to make money for my family and my future family," she says. "I'm not a YOLO person. I think 25 years from now. I think about my future kids, future husband, future house."

And where exactly will she be in 25 years? She smiles dreamily, and says, "I see myself cursin' at my kids."

#cardi b #rap #rolling stone magazine #hiphop #hip hop #female rapper #female rap #rapper

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thatangstyhoe-blog · 6 years

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Reviewed: Part 1

“Y/n! My office!” My boss’ voice booms through the small office space. He sounds awfully stressed today. I stand up, tugging my velvet skirt down a bit and shuffling over a bit to push my chair into the space underneath my small desk.

I walk out of my small office, the door already being opened. The sound of my heels make a satisfying clack sound against the marble floors, and I rub my slightly dry lips together.

“Good luck” One of my co-workers, Jackson, smirks at me before taking a sip from his coffee mug. I smirk and flip him off discreetly as he gasps and places a hand on his chest, pretending to be offended.

We were all pretty close in this office, although it wasn’t like we had the choice not to be. There were 7 total writers on the 4th floor of the Billboard Publication Institution, along with one boss that could either be a pain in the ass or an angel sent from heaven. It really depended on the day.

Today? Not so much.

I walk into the doorway that seems to be nearly 3 times the size of mine, only to witness Charlie in an awfully distressed state. A crowd of empty disposable coffee cups surrounds him, along with stacks of manilla folders with papers sticking out messily in all directions. He types away quickly at his computer, his back hunched in a seemingly uncomfortable position. He doesn’t even notice that i’m here so I take it as my cue to clear my throat and march closer to his desk.

He finally looks up and turns his spinny chair almost immediately, rolling over to the stack of Manila folders on the other side of his desk. He looks through the labels written on the sides before pulling a thin folder out of the pile and placing it in my hands.

“There’s an artist. A boy, Shawn Mendes? He has this album…uh…” He tries off, snapping his fingers quickly in an attempt to remember what he was trying to say.

“Glow? No that’s not it…” He trails off once more but glances between the computer and the folder loosely placed in my hand.

“Anyways. You’re gonna write a review for it. This isn’t Adele or Kendrick so feel free to say whatever you want. He’s probably just another Bieber wannabe, he’ll be irrelevant in no time.” Charlie waves me off before twirling around again in his chair and gong back to typing on his computer. I strut out of the office and back into my cramped space.

I sit down on the comfortable leather office chair and open the folder to see that it only contains a CD and an overview of the artist. I pull out the CD and insert it into the CD player in my computer’s monitor.

I had given several music reviews before. Usually, the reviews I gave were liked by the artists I gave them to - so much to the point where they would invite me to red carpet events as a thank you. I had given out reviews for artists of all different genres, and although the majority of those reviews were positive, that didn't mean that negatives couldn’t be involved as well.

I click the play button on my computer and immediately hear the chords of a guitar along with a soft melody being sung.

——————————————————

I stumble towards Jackson’s office quickly, the CD I was listening to merely seconds ago tightly grasped in my hand. My hair is a mess from the headphones I was wearing while listening to the music, and my fingers hurt from continuously taking notes as well.

I walk through the doorway of Jackson’s office, not even bothering to ask for permission before shoving the disk in his face and showing him the CD imprinted with a picture of the boy who made the album.

“This” I lightly tap the CD against the dark wood on his empty desk, “Has got to be the worst shit I have ever heard in my entire life.”

As soon as I finish my sentence, Jackson busts out laughing. It’s a contagious laugh so I feel obligated to join in. He grabs the CD from my hand and opens his CD player, placing it in the small tray and putting it in.

“I mean, w-we thought Lil’ Pump was bad, but this kid” I clutch my stomach and hunch over, placing a hand on his desk for support, “This kid takes the cake.”

He smiles widely, grabbing his mouse and clicking a few times. A few moments later, the song begins blaring loudly from the speakers. I look over to see him lightly tapping his desk with the tips of his fingers along the beat of the song.

“I mean…” He trails off briefly.

“It’s not horrible. Kinda gives me John Mayer vibes.” Jackson shrugs.

“I’m not trying to ruin your happiness, but you’re only saying that because you used to be an edgy frat boy.” We both laugh and he mutters quiet ‘true’ s in between laughs. I grab the mouse and click the double arrow button so the next song begins playing.

“Besides, it only gives you John Mayer vibes because he literally copied John Mayer. Except the lyrics aren't as meaningful, almost as if he’s trying to force an idea he has no experience with.” The next song begins playing and another guitar tune starts off. Just as the guitar tune ends and he begins singing, I click the button again onto the next sone. I press the button over and over again, switching between songs only after he begins singing.

“All of these songs sound the exact same. The guitar riffs are almost identical. This album was made for fake deep teenage girls, not people with real experiences.” Jackson nods his head and reaches for the mouse. I take my hand off of it and he takes it into his much larger hand. He clicks on the safari tab and looks up the lyrics to the songs on the album.

“Is this song about being in love with a hoe?” He scrolls through the lyrics to a song titled “Bad Reputation” and I giggle lightly. I walk behind him and look over his shoulder, reading some of the lyrics to the song.

“I don’t care what they say about you, baby. They don’t know what you’ve been through. Trust me I can be the one to treat you like a lady. Wow truly deep and inspiring.” Jackson sarcastically exclaims.

“Highly cringe. the 14 year-old me would’ve swooned.” I reply and he wrinkles his nose, furrowing his eyebrows as well.

“You’re still 19, y/n. You’re not that far away from 14.” I punch his shoulder playfully and he laughs. I tell him to listen to the rest of the album and head back to my office, composing my thoughts into sentences and putting together a draft of the review.

It wasn’t that the melodies themselves were bad, they were just a bit forced. It was obvious that the majority of these songs weren’t about real experiences. The lyrics sounded marketed, as if they were meant to be given to a certain age group. No guy would actually say something even remotely similar to “I know I can treat you better”. The cringeiness of his lyrics caused me to wrinkle my nose and I began typing away on my computer.

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Rising Canadian pop celebrity Shawn Mendes certainly has it out for the hearts of teenage girls; simultaneously, he doesn’t seem to have it out for any Grammy nominations. While Illuminate covers a variety of topics in romance, it seems to lack a very critical category of music: purpose.

The rising pop star opens the album with a near copy to John Mayer’s single Gravity from earlier in the century. The promotional single, entitled ‘Ruin’ holds a handful of repetitive lyrics, so much to the point where the repetitive nature hinders the quality of the song. The consistent guitar rhythm in ‘Ruin’ doesn’t seem to be held unique to the album, either.

The following songs almost all contain a similar guitar chord progression. Whilst listening to the album, it is hard to decipher one song from the next due to the identical nature of all of them.

A recent article with freshly 19 year-old Shawn Mendes claims that he stated his inspirations as artists like Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran. The magazine then proceeded to discuss with Mendes the authenticity of the songs, seeping into discussions about his love life and stating the following…

“I actually had a girlfriend for two years and so I wrote songs about her. I write a lot of songs about love that I may not understand exactly, but I do think I have a good almost understanding of it and I try my hardest and I find it extremely fun because I think love is the most powerful feeling a human can experience so I can write a million songs about it”

Yeah, we can tell you’ve never been in love, Shawn.

Illuminate remains as a sad attempt of conveying an empty message of almost-love on Mendes’ part. And as for his idolicism of Ed Sheeran, it seems as if Shawn has a long way to go before he gets there. Illuminate will not stay on my shelf for too long. But don’t forget about the album too quickly, you may see it again on the list of our worst albums in December.

Billboard gives this album one out of five total stars.

-------------------------------------------------

I throw the magazine against the polished mahogany desk, a smacking sound resonating through the air. I fall into the soft sofa beneath me and silently pray that it swallows me whole. I can tell that my cheeks are glowing red due to the heat I feel on the sides of my face.

I let out a frustrated growling sound, leaning over to pick up the magazine once more.

‘he doesn’t seem to have it out for any Grammy nominations’

‘Yeah, we can tell you’ve never been in love, Shawn’

“GEOFF!” I yell from my room. The door is closed, and rather than opening it, I choose the less practical option of screaming instead.

I hear heavy footsteps vibrating the wooden floors of the cabin and he walks in, slightly hunched over with his hair dripping water on the floor. I examine the damp towel hanging loosely in his fingertips and he holds an annoyed expression on his face.

“What do you want?” He grumbles and brings the towel up to his hair, tussling and drying it.

“Have you seen this?” I hold up the magazine for him to see. It’s already flipped to the review and he mutters the title that’s written in all bold letters, ‘ILLUMINATE, AN HONEST REVIEW’

He grabs the magazine from my hands lazily. He takes a step towards me and I sit down on the couch so he can walk past me and sit beside me. As he sits down and grabs a cushion from the side of the couch, he continues talking.

“Is it another five star review? We should really start hanging these up, man” He begins reading the first sentence of the magazine. As he begins reading, he narrates where in the article he is quietly. I hear him trail off and watch his expression change.

Looking away, I wait for a few moments before looking in his direction again. He seems to be reading the article over and over again, his eyes narrowing more and more each time he reads the article it.

“Well this is...something” He doesn’t sound as angry as I do and it makes me annoyed. I huff and respond aggressively.

“It’s complete bullshit is what it is.” My heart pounds and I can feel it in every inch of my body. Geoff looks defeated as he slides down on the sofa and I stand up so that i’m looking down at him.

I snatch the magazine from his fingers, looking down at the article again.

“I don’t know who this” I pause, looking underneath the title of the article to see a name in small blue bolded print.

“Y/n person thinks she is, but I worked hard on that album!” I whine. Geoff stares up at me as if i’m a 5 year old who just lost his favorite toy.

“Calm down Shawn, it’s one review. I’m sure it doesn’t matter.”

I raise my hands up to my stomach’s level and begin gesturing with them while I speak.

“Of course it matters, Geoff! This isn’t some teen magazine where all the cover spreads are neon pink! This is Billboard! This is THE magazine. If I can’t get a good review from here, ten maybe it’s time to change up my music.”

“Shawn stop being irrational.” Geoff scolds. I refuse to listen to him and give myself a headache, thinking of ways to improve my songs.

“I should have more features. I could add a rapper into a song or something? Maybe Andrew knows some music producers! Geoff do you remember where I put my phone?”

He grabs the pillow on his lap, throwing it towards my upper body and it smacks me in the chest. It doesn’t hurt, but my instincts make me yelp out a small ‘ow’.

“If you really want to know what to improve” He sighs, as if he’s about to admit something that he really doesn’t want to tell me.

“I would call the person who wrote this” He points to the article in my hand and I scoff, shaking my head immediately.

“Yeah, not gonna happen.”

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #shawn mendes writing #shawn peter raul mendes #my writing #shawn mendes blurb

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flawlesslikequeenbey · 6 years

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My ranking of the songs of reputation along with a review of the song.

So before i start with this ranking i just want to say that this review is coming from a pretty neutral pov. I’m neither a fan of taylor swift nor am i a hater. 15. Look what you made me do. Honestly, Idk what was she even thinking while making this track. This may be one of the worst tracks she has ever recorded. It may have done well in the charts / broken records initially due to the hype but it fell down pretty quickly cause there is no substance. Bland lyrics, bad chorus. The music video saved it tho and made it borderline tolerable. 14. So it goes... Nothing special about it. Its basic af. Also its pretty forgettable. 13. Dancing with our hands tied Another filler track. 12. King of my heart Much of these computerized vocal effect strips the particulars and character of her voice. She has better love songs than these. This..is nothing special. 11. ...Ready for it ? Taylor swift trying to rap is cringey. The chorus is the best part of the song and the only thing that sounds like her. This song could’ve been sung by anybody. ( it sounds like a song rejected by rihanna ) It lacks that taylor swift mark. 10. End game I’m pretty sure she will release this as a single considering the collaboration being too big to fail. But that doesn’t make it any less weird. Its a really bad song and the future verse is wasted. Also she tries to rap again and um...lets just leave it to that. 9. Gorgeous. The old taylor ain’t dead after all. This song manages to prove that. Its not a great love song but its alright. It would’ve been better in her last album. 8. Dress I’ll be very honest with you, i was way too hyped about it. Because literally everyone was like “this is way too sexy” and then i listened to it and i was just like - ...???!? Its not at all sexy. Tbh when beyonce sings sexual songs she REALLY does sound way too sexual and they turn out to be great bedroom songs ( See : Partition , drunk in love, Rocket, Blow, Naughty girl ) When rihanna does that, it sounds edgy, dark and sexy ( See: S&M , Skin ) But Taylor doesn’t know how to sound sexy and sensual. The song is borderline catchy and a lil bit romantic but it never turns sexy which is something that she definitely wanted it to be. Also the “Ah ah ah ahhh” part makes me cringe. 7. This is why we can’t have nice things. The Bad blood of reputation but with some real shade. The references are obvious and that loud cackle is infectious. Also the reference to his broken friendship with jay z made me gasp. The whole toast to her friends, her baby, her momma and him ( *coughs* kanye ) is so damn good.

6. Don’t blame me A thick gospel vibe, catchy hook and the “my drug is my baby” reference makes it one of the best tracks of the album. It could be a potential single. Its a great track. 5. Delicate “My reputation’s never been worse, so you must like me for me” is a great lyric. This track peels back all the EDM aggression and shows real vulnerability. Also the “isn’t it isn’t it” chant is amazing.

4. Getaway Car. Oh damn. It could easily pass off as a 1989 track but that doesn’t mean its not good. Idk why she didn’t release this as a single. This is something that i would play on repeat. It is so catchy and the lyrics are really good. No wonder its a fan favourite. 3. I did something bad The real “bad girl” track of the album. This is some hot tea. Each lyric hits the bullseye. That frighteningly irresistible "Da-da-da-da" vocal loop, the whole blank space 2.0 persona, the witch hunt thing. Everything adds on to the charm of this track. i really hope she makes a kickass video for this. 2. Call it what you want. After three bad singles, we were blessed with this and it reignited my hope that the album may have more tracks like this. It didn’t... but the last two tracks kinda make up for it. I’ll just ignore the “trust him like a brother” part because that sounds weird but otherwise this track is honestly a blessing. You can almost hear the pride in her voice when she says “My baby”

1. New years day It’s still not on “All too well” level of lyrics. But honestly, this track is still a blessing. She saved the best for the last. Its the calm after the storm and i’m here for this track. This one is a keeper. “Please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognize anywhere” hit me right in the feels. Overall, this album is better than 1989 but saying that its much better than red is a reach. I think people felt that way because she;s pulling off the whole mean girl persona while also remaining happy and in love unlike red which has more sad tracks tbh. But that doesn’t make it better than the fine lyrics and controlled / stripped off vocals of Red. Still, Reputation is a fine album. Better than a lot of non-fans expected after listening to the initial singles.

Ofcourse, this is just my opinion and i would love to know your opinions about this album

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t4b5-blog1 · 5 years

Text

3. jan - nov 2017

Up till now I have tried showing how I got to were I did and how family started initially being mentioned. This is where from now on I started taking screenshots of all searches, as you’ll see.

By now i had no doubt these people were for real and clearly 'connected' and ever since the ‘family’ threat/murder/tweet (27th December 2016), family started being mentioned EVERY SINGLE time I’d go on twitter. Also one of my bro’s who had been mentioned the most and also lived alone at the time had started saying something was seriously wrong. The pains I had been experiencing were also getting worse so I started tweeting more about the pains and taking more screen shots, you’ll see the extent of this. The more I did this, especially about the pains and activities of housemates/neighbours, the more serious the threats have got.

Tweets, sent to myself, about what was going on and bro's initial straight after

bro's initial after a 'heart' search (in bold), after my tweets (above)

A 'be careful who you trust' tweet, after I reply to it, a nieces name straight after a 'heart' search

Niece's name

Niece's name again

tweet about 'activities'

bro's initial after 'heart' search

Later on niece's name (this niece being mentioned every time on twitter now)/protect your own heart tweet

heart attack/heart rate (I was having heart rate issues) tweet

the 'friends can break your heart' tweet, also an aunt's name (as username), mine and bro's initials and bro's name in succession/same search result.

mine and bro's initials

bro's name

bro's name again

other bro’s name

another bro’s initial

mine and bro’s names/nicknames

gut/heart (some of the pains), intuition tweet

family tweet

‘poison’ and ‘heart feeling’ tweets

bro’s name

‘heart stops beating’ tweet

Later on when back on, sis in law’s (foreign account) and her daughter’s name

bro’s name/heart tweet

tweet about what’s going on

bro’s ‘name’

other bro’s name again

another bro’s wife’s name (bottom of page), account/tweet deleted

Later that night bro’s ‘name’

another bro’s ‘name’

bro (above) wife’s name straight after

bro’s ‘name’ again

another bro’s name (forgot to take screenshot from search)

the ‘must be felt by heart’ tweet

bit later, bro’s initial again and niece’s name

housemates ‘activity’ tweet and bro’s ‘name/heart just broke’ tweets.

bro’s ‘name’/’heart just broke’ tweet

later in morning, tweet about housemate activity and bro’s (who’d been mentioned hours before) previous wife’s name. Someone clearly knows EXACTLY who I am, without even anything about me on my account, no names, family or friend names etc.

bro’s previous wife’s name

my bro’s (whose previous wife was just mentioned, previous tweet) actual ‘goverment’ name

same bro’s name again

tweet bit later about pains and housemates

back home relative and bro’s name again

bro’s name again

niece’s name again

Tweet about housemate activities later on and family names straight after

niece's 'name' and a tweet about pains no one will understand

pains tweet

bro's name

another bro and my initial tweets

bro's initial

my initial, capitalized

bro's name again

Here an 'everything heals' tweet the night before I woke up with horrible pains, some of the worst up till this point.

Tweet about the pains I woke up with, bro's initial immediately after I do a search and the 'writing murdered your family tweet' again. Basically telling me 'you say anything, your family gets it'

bro's initial

The 'writing murdered your family' tweet again

I tried ignoring things, tried not going on twitter, I've tried this plenty of times, the pains just got even worse, as if these people didn't want me to ignore them, so pains forced me back on twitter.

My name/tweet about music, this was something I was using my phone a lot for, listening to music etc, as I've said before, these people knew/know everything I was/am doing (I thought it was just my phone at first but over time this turned out to not be the case)

bro's name

same bro's name again

heart don't stand a chance tweet

different bro's initial

same bro's 'name' in @ name (forgot search screenshot)

same bro's initial again

here the 'f.c.b.y.h.too' tweet

Later on after logging on, a tweet a tweet/threat, later deleted

my reply about earlier tweet being deleted and same bro's name in successive tweets

bro's name and tweet about not to take siblings for granted, losing them

same bro's name again straight after

after waking up with groin pains, and checking out first tweets from search, ‘ain’t having no kiddos’ tweet

After a break off twitter, one of the first tweets i see, ‘gotta die tweet’

later that night a ‘stay silent’ tweet

a lil reminder next morning with the ‘murdering family’ tweet

Break something of yours

niece’s name straight after

‘got u for life’ tweet

a ‘best friend can break your heart’ tweet, my ‘best friend’s’ name straight after

best friend’s name

when I first noticed mention of youngest nephew’s ‘name’ (@ name)

bro’s name

bro’s name, nephew’s name mentioned minutes before

Because of all the pains I'd been experiencing, especially the heart pains, I’d been to my GP regularly and had briefly been telling him how I felt pains I’d been experiencing were being caused somehow, so he was aware of it. On one occasion I booked an appointment and at surgery was seen by a trainee doctor (from London). I had no intention of talking to him about anything but he’d read my notes and started asking questions about the pains etc, so I told him a bit about it, how certain celebs/people involved with media were involved. Anyways after this appointment I learned both taylor swift and ed Sheeran had both, apparently, deleted their twitter accounts.

This tweet (forgot the search screenshot) about potty training was around the exact same time my youngest nephew was potty training

A tweet about a nephew starting school, again this was at the exact same time my nephew was starting school

my initial

bro's 'name' username

'I'll break your heart' tweet

Next 4 tweets are after a few refreshes of the search result page. A university tweet, one of my niece’s was just about to start uni.

Heart so heavy tweet.

A tweet about a niece.

'Lil kay' tweet, referring to my nephew.

Because of all the pains I’d been experiencing, especially my heart, my GP referred me to a cardiologist who arranged for me to have a heart monitor fitted. On the morning of my appointment, just before I was about to leave, I did a twitter search and the first tweet was the name of the hospital I was going to (L&D) and a tweet after it about ‘agonies’.

Appointment letter (09:50 am)

Hospital name tweet.

'agonies' tweet

After my appointment I had stayed out the whole day, (cos I had to wear the monitor, didn’t want anyone to know) and had visited my eldest bro’s home. My niece was in extreme pain (stomach if remember), crying etc and before I left they were considering going hospital. Later that night first tweet I saw was about a heart monitor (forgot the search screenshot in haste). The following night a tweet about a child being in pain and my niece’s name (foreign account) in one search (same niece who’d had the pains) and then a tweet about ‘ niece in pain’ straight after.

Heart monitor tweet.

‘child in pain’ and niece’s name tweet

niece’s name

‘niece all heart broken’ tweet

This is the discharge letter for my stay in hospital, I had been at new property (where I’m still at) for just over a month and this was the worst head pains i’ve had to date, forced me to hospital for 2, 3 days

my tweets after getting back from hospital

'some kill, some steal’ tweet (another that starting poping) after a search after posting tweet above

This account starting popping up in my suggestions almost every time I’d log on, my bro’s name

bro’s name again straight after a search

The ‘murdered your family’ tweet

family tweet

another family related tweet straight after

bro’s ‘name’

mine and bro’s initials/bro’s ‘name’ in @ name and RIP tweet straight after

RIP tweet, ironically same birth year as bro

bro’s initial

bro’s ‘name’ again straight after

sad life tweet

Next 7 tweets within a few refreshes of search page.

Another bro’s name later on

bro’s ‘name’

bro who was mentioned minutes before (above) wife’s name (at end of @ name)

‘alive for a reason’ tweet. This tweet was also popping up more

bro’s wife’s name again

another bro’s name and his daughter’s name immediately after

my niece’s name in @ name immediately mention of her dad’s name, above tweet

0 notes

softpink · 6 years

Text

A Year in Spotify: March 2018

March is the worst month of the goddamn year. It’s just a vacuum of grief and loss and hurting. I miss Mike so much, and I’m making progress in coming to terms with it, but holy fucking shit I wish he hadn’t died. That’s all I have to say about this month, I’m happy for it to be over.

50. Store - Carly Rae Jepsen I can't play pretend, wish it hadn't come to this But you know there's some things you can't mend

49. Can’t Hold Us Down - Christina Aguilera Making up a few false rumors or two That for sure is not a man for me, slandering names for popularity It's sad you only get your fame through controversy But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say

48. The City - 1975 Don 't call it a fight when you know it 's a war With nothing but your t-shirt on

47. Discovering the Waterfront - Silverstein Pretend it’s not forever I'll pull myself together, I'll say that I'll forget her, I'll breathe And I'll say she never hurt me, and look at it as learning And laugh about the good and the bad

46. Getaway Car - Taylor Swift Well he was running after us, I was screaming, "go, go, go" But with three of us, honey, it's a side show And a circus ain't a love story, and now we’re both sorry

45. Fight Test - The Flaming Lips Cause I'm a man not a boy and there are things you can't avoid, You have to face them when you're not prepared to face them

44. Sober - Lorde Midnight, we’re fading Till daylight, we’re jaded We know that it’s over In the morning, you'll be dancing with all the heartache

43. Double Cross - Senses Fail All my pictures have faded over time I burnt the negatives of you

42. Sleeping With a Friend - Neon Trees All my friends stay up past midnight Looking for the thing to fill the void I don't go out much like I used to Something about the strangers and the noise

41. A Song For Ernest Hemingway - The Wonder Years And I heard all about how his plane went down after Christmas in the Congo He read about his own death in the paper, I bet it was freeing to know When you destroy anything worth chasing, there's nowhere left to go

40. A Change of Heart - The 1975 And she said, I've been so worried about you lately You look shit and smell a bit You're mad thinking you could ever save me Not looking like that

39. Hum Hallelujah - Fall Out Boy I love you in the same way there's a chapel in a hospital One foot in your bedroom, and one foot out the door

38. First Letter From St. Sean (Rearranged) - Sorority Noise I am not alive, I didn't mean to leave you when I died I was too scared you might be the one to leave There's so much more to life than the flick of a knife

37. So It Goes... - Taylor Swift Cut me into pieces Gold cage, hostage to my feelings

36. Truffle Butter - Nicki Minaj Your whole style and approach, I invented And I ain't taking that back, cause I meant it

35. I Don’t Fuck With You - Big Sean I swear I hear some new bullshit every day I'm waking up It seems like nowadays everybody breaking up That shit can break you down if you lose a good girl I guess you need a bad bitch to come around and make it up

34. Dress - Taylor Swift I'm spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we're both drunk Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about us

33. Me vs The Highway - The Wonder Years I remember me at eighteen, naked in your parents' basement Young and careless, watching you blow smoke rings And I remember me at eighteen You sat stoic in front me, a portrait of who we'd someday be

32. The Waterboy Returns - Modern Baseball It’s fun to be all talk, but I won't be here forever Rough time to be a lost soul, I'm sure, but we feel the same Death won't bring friends and flowers to your grave

31. You’re Crashing But You’re No Wave - Fall Out Boy Case open, case shut But you could pay to close it like a casket

30. State of Grace - Taylor Swift We are alone, just you and me Up in your room and our slates are clean Just twin fire signs, four blue eyes

29. Writer in the Dark - Lorde Stood on my chest and kept me down Hated hearing my name on the lips of a crowd Did my best to exist just for you

28. I’m Serious I’m Sorry - Jeff Rosenstock I wanted to tell you I know how it feels when The people you love just start disappearing Ashamed that you took their presence for granted But I didn’t want to seem condescending

27. Bonfire - Childish Gambino They told me I was awful man, that shit did not phase me Tell me how I suck again, my memory is hazy

26. She Way Out - The 1975 With a face from a movie scene Or magazine, you know what I mean

25. Don’t Take The Money - Bleachers And I saw your face and hands, colored in sun and then I think I understand

24. The “I” in Lie - Patrick Stump It might’ve felt good for a minute But admit it to yourself it ain’t right When you’re sleeping with your lover But you’re living with your wife

23. Flicker, Fade - Taking Back Sunday So you can go, go, go, if you want to I wouldn't try and stop you I couldn't say I blame you

22. Loverboy - You Me At Six Your past has you in a choke hold But you deserve it from what I've been told

21. A Little Uncanny - Conor Oberst You know old Ronnie Reagan, he was a shoe salesman's son He got himself in the movies, he impressed everyone He fought trial by fire, was America's fate He made a joke of the poor people, and that made him a saint

20. Like a River Runs - Bleachers The summer's gone and I'm alone And I get the feeling that you're somewhere close And I wanna get up, to the rhythm of your wild, to the rhythm of your wild heart It beats, been beating since you've gone

19. Something - Julien Baker I just let the silence swallow me up The ring in my ears, the taste of blood Asking aloud why you're leaving But the pavement won't answer me

18. Blacktop - Julien Baker But I know you're in the pews, the same as stools around the bar And I know I saw your hand when I went out and wrapped my car

17. Treacherous - Taylor Swift And I'll do anything you say, if you say it with your hands And I'd be smart to walk away, but you're quicksand

16. The Way - Ariana Grande You got my heart, don’t know how you did it And I don’t care who sees it babe I don’t wanna hide the way I feel when you're next to me

15. Hard Feelings/Loveless - Lorde When you've outgrown a lover, the whole world knows but you It's time to let go of this endless summer afternoon

14. Cry - Carly Rae Jepsen He never wants to strip down to his feelings He never wants to kiss and close his eyes

13. Jacksonville Skyline - Whiskeytown I was born in an abundance of inherited sadness And fifty cent picture frames bought at a five and dime

12. Go Home - Julien Baker And I haven't been taking my meds Lock all the cabinets, send me to bed Cause I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared Cause I'm alone again and I don't like the things I see

11. Reckless - You Me At Six Your loose lips let, let words slide You spend too much time talking about my life Stories you will spin just for a power trip It's safe to say that I am not into it

10. All I Need - Radiohead You are all I need I'm in the middle of your picture Lying in the reeds

9. Cutting My Fingers Off - Turnover I never wanted to make you go You might be a stranger now But I just wanted to let you know that I meant what I said

8. Rich as Fuck - Lil Wayne (Will rapping this entire goddamn song on the drive the DC is forever burned into my memory)

7. No Halo (Rearranged) - Sorority Noise The same things that plague you still plaguing me God called you to fulfill a vacancy I tried to see why it wasn't me

6. Sex - The 1975 You and your fit friends anyway I'd take them all out any day They've all got back combs anyway You've all got boyfriends anyway

5. Wild Pack of Family Dogs - Modest Mouse And I’m sitting outside my mud lake, waiting for the pack to take me away And right after I die the dogs start floating up towards the glowing sky

4. Green Light - Lorde But honey I'll be seeing you, wherever I go But honey I'll be seeing you down every road I'm waiting for it, that green light, I want it

3. Everybody Lost Somebody - Bleachers And there's a reason I wake up alone in strange places A reason I see myself in a million faces A reason I can't stop it all from changing So come on, motherfucker, you survived, you gotta give yourself a break

2. Supercut - Lorde In my head, I do everything right When you call, I'll forgive and not fight Because ours are the moments I play in the dark We were wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart

1. Drummer Boy - MisterWives Never want to wake up next to anybody else Never in my life did I want to hear the wedding bells You make me believe in something I claimed untrue Set my fears on fire, like a phoenix I am new With you, I am new every scar fades away, less existent with each day they fade away

#personal #spotify

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we-are-the-sickness · 7 years

Note

just do em all

1. selfieMoBile 2. what would you name your future kids?Vienna if it's a girl or James Taylor if it's a boy  3. do you miss anyone?Definitely  4. what are you looking forward to?Death rn 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?My friends n their memes they KNO how to cheer me  6. is it hard for you to get over someone?I think it depends on how much of myself Ive share w them ya know? 7. what was your life like last year?Confused and sad  8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?@my mom u did dis 9. who did you last see in person?My parents 10. are you good at hiding your feelings?Generally 11. are you listening to music right now?Nope I just woke up lol 12. what is something you want right now?Peace n quiet  13. how do you feel right now?Lil sad 14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?Last night  15. personality descriptionTired mom friend who loves memes n loves to be light hearted bc she's been heavy hearted too damn longJst wanna raise bees 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?YES FAR TOO LONG 17. opinion on insecurities.I'm sad that we all have them 18. do you miss how things were a year ago?Fuck no 19. have you ever been to New York?Nope but I wanna! 20. what is your favourite song at the moment?The entirety of hardwired to self destruct like there's not one bad song !! 21. age and birthday?18 and my birthday is today whoop 22. description of crush.She smol she funny she lame as hell but she's also beautiful in the most innocent way she tries to make herself tough but Ive seen her from every angle and that's why I love her so much 23. fear(s)Clusters of holes yuck 24. height5'1 25. role modelCorey Taylor & James Hetfield 26. idol(s)^ 27. things i hateWhen things aren't organized, petty arguments, when someone can so easily fix something but they just won't cause they are suborn  28. i’ll love you if…U put memes in my mailbox 29. favourite film(s)Every xmen ever 30. favourite tv show(s)Daredevil, Grimm, bloodline, and I'm already calling that iron fist is a fave 31. 3 random factsI need to peeI have a justice for all poster on the wall in front of meMy toe nail is still broken 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?It's p equal as of right now 33. something you want to learnTo sing better 34. most embarrassing momentI was at our local butcher shop I was only a little ginger toddler happy as can be loved going to this place w my mom, I usually could walk around and look at BBQ sauces or something while mom chose what we needed. It was thanks giving time and I saw this box that I THOUGHT had a turkey in it on top of this table. I just touched the box and suddenly the table fell over then shelves and shelves of sauces started falling over it was a domino effect and still to this day I don't understand it 35. favourite subjectAstronomy  36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?Raise beesSurround myself with peace and love and mountainsAnd have someone to share it w 37. favourite actor/actressBen m that is all 38. favourite comedian(s)JOHN MULANY 39. favourite sport(s)Archery coz I do it lmao 40. favourite memoryPlaying tag with my dog when I was a kiddo 41. relationship statusComplicated bc of distance 42. favourite book(s)Corey's.... 43. favourite song everNo leaf clover  44. age you get mistaken for25 45. how you found out about your idolWhen I was a kid our cable got turned off a lot so I spent a lot of time in my room with my dads construction radio listening to music. That's how I discovered everyone. 46. what my last text message saysHit that motherfrkn like button 47. turn onsU also enjoy peace and not hurting me constantly 48. turn offsU hurt me constantly and have a shit attitude and don't want organization 49. where i want to be right nowAway from here 50. favourite picture of your idolI WISH I WASNT ON MOBILE 51. starsignAquarius  52. something i’m talented atIdk painting? Giving advice? Who knows 53. 5 things that make me happyHerY'allMusicWarm airCDs 54. something thats worrying me at the momentEverything  55. tumblr friendsSO MANY 56. favourite food(s)Mexican food,,, 57. favourite animal(s)Wolf n bears 58. description of my best friendThey are kind and funny and make everyday brighter ❤️ 59. why i joined tumblrAn old pal asked me to join  60. ask me anything you want:0THANK U ❤️💗❤️

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taylorswiftacoustic · 5 years

Text

So i’m going to do one of those obnoxious why i love Taylor so much posts, even though I hate putting myself on blast and feel cringey, but it’s almost 2am and she’s still meeting fans in Nashville (at like 5am) so it’s not like she’s going to see it ever.

Anyways I’ve been listening to Taylor’s music since Fearless. I actually even made a facebook post about it back when I still made obnoxious facebook posts all the time back in 2008 when I first got a Facebook cause I was a freshman in high school. Because Taylor is 4 years older than me she usually releases music that I need right when it’s relevant to my life. I was 15 when Fifteen came out and there was a boy I had a crush on who’s name was Drew and honestly her entire work just fit so well into my life. It was on my ipod and i listened to her song religiously and whenever I would go on walks with my dog she was one of the artists playing. Fearless is an excellent song to walk out at night and look up at the stars to just in case you were wondering.

Speak Now came out my junior year of high school back when Taylor and the SF Giants coincided with making people in the Bay Area happy in October. (But tbh i don’t really care about baseball and found the giants hype obnoxious), but the Taylor hype I was all for. Speak Now was that album it had Dear John which honestly if I was going to pick a favorite it’s def in the top 10 cause as Alana Haim says “Just listened to taylor swifts song “dear john”… That bitch has huge balls. FUCK YOU JOHN MAYER”. The part where she says shining like fireworks over your sad empty town does something to my soul and honestly the music and the emotion and ughhhhhh she’s trying to kill me. The songwriting on the whole album just kills me and the fact that she wrote the whole album by herself just proves that she can do literally anything. It’s empowering to know how much work she put into that album. Also junior year of high school was when my older sister left for college and I couldn’t drive myself to school cause I didn’t have my license (tbh i can never spell that word) and I walked home from school a lot and you can tell this was blasting. Also junior year was when I kind of had a life crisis of what to do for college and life and I just threw myself into the drama department and was a part of 3 plays in one year partially so I would stay after school and my parents could pick me up at the end and partially cause i was so confused by school and my anxiety that being a part of a theater production made me feel like a part of something. And I literally always and forever want to be a part of any group.

Now for everyone’s favorite album Red. God people are really not kidding when they say this album is the best. I mean every single track is that track. It came out during my first year of college. I went away to SoCal for college and nobody from my hometown went to my school and I had gone to school with the same people from k-12 and honestly I was so lonely. My campus was a commuter campus and everyone went home on the weekends and I couldn’t fly home and I didn’t have a car so I joined a sorority cause they did things on weekends, I heart being part of a group and instant friends. And man was that the best life decision ever. I joined the most chill group of people and I got my Big in October and on the car ride from Big/Lil reveal over to our dinner my GBig played Everything Has Changed and the whole album and it was just so wonderful and amazing and fit so freaking perfectly with my life. I had no romantic things happening like ever, but I did go through a major life change and it was just so good. And then when I went home over thanksgiving and christmas break my best friend also loved the album so we just listened to Red on repeat until i knew every single word and we sat in the car and talked like we had just seen each other yesterday even though it was almost 3 months and it was like I had seen her yesterday. She’s been my best friend since kindergarten and even if we don’t talk in like 6 months, I see her in person and it’s like she was just in my car the day before talking about whatever. Anyways this whole album was the key to my first few years of college to get away from the loneliness and the aching of trying to figure out how to live with no parents and it being miserable and magical at the same time.

Then we get to 1989 and my 3rd year of college. This is when I had finally moved in with my best friends instead of living with randoms and my whole life became so much better because they took care of me and I had a car so i had more freedom and they took me out and I was officially part of their little group and I felt like I actually knew what I was doing with my life for once (did not last long, but it was there for a bit). And it was just the pop hits album that I needed. The change from country to pop fit into my life so well and I was so much happier and the album was happy, but you could tell came from a place of knowing about that anxiety and fear, but kept pushing through. Like all of Taylor’s albums it just fit into my life. It was the soundtrack of drives to LA and to parties and pregaming and formals and hikes and walks around campus and to class. It was joined with Haim’s album on a playlist on my phone called HaimSwift and it was played on my 8 hour drive from NorCal to SoCal at least 3 times that year when I drove to school, when I drove back for break and then back to school again. There’s also a Noah + The Swift for Noah + the Whale and Taylor Swift. They are both wonderful playlists of my favorite artists. This is when I found out that Haim the band that I had discovered and fell in love with at Outside Lands the summer prior was going to be touring with Taylor, but unfortunately on in LA when I wasn’t going to be there and not in NorCal at an expensive stadium after I had spent all of my money on pasts and wine in Italy on my study abroad trip.

And then Taylor went on a break, well a longer than 2 year break and in that time I graduated and moved back home and my grandpa passed away and I found a job (not the one I wanted, but you know it paid and I got to stay at home with my parents and my family during a rough time). And then I applied to the Disney College program and I got accepted in Anaheim and life was better because I got to move back to SoCal where I wanted to be and work at the literal dream location and have housing and see where life would take me. And so I moved back to SoCal and I started this program and I fell more in love with Disneyland and the people I was in the program with (love being part of a group) and then stayed on after it ended and finally got an apartment and started being a “real adult”. It was a strange time, but a fun time. I got to explore the parks, I visited my friends in Chicago, I worked a lot and then from the silence Taylor Swift came back. I was thrilled about the new album and the experience. See I have been on tumblr with my blog @megansalphabet(actually the name was meganislameness but that is a little controversial so it got changed) since 2010 my junior year of high school and also when Speak Now came out. But during the “drought” I actually started following a lot of Taylor Swift blogs cause I was missing her music and her presence and so once the news about rep dropped I was hooked. From the early days of people fighting about if it was a dragon or a snake and then what kind of snake and through the whole build up and music videos and easter egg hunting and the experience of being in that group and having other people freak out about the same things that I was, was so thrilling and exciting.

And finally on a day when I worked until 2:45 in the morning the album came out. And so even though I had already pre-ordered a CD, it was not at my apartment yet so I went to Target and bought my magazines and read the lyrics while listening to the album and spent the whole day listening to the album 3 times. Then once the tour announcement came I decided no more waiting about ya girl is finally gonna see my idol and so I told my mom what i wanted for an early christmas present and I watched the music video and I bought some sweatpants and a sweatshirt and a bag and a keychain and I said this is the era that I’m going to see Taylor Swift live I don’t care who’s going with me, but I am going no matter what. And I did. I got a second job, I went to Seattle and I had been working at 2 jobs for almost 2 weeks on the most perfect May day I got off work and drove to Pasadena, picked up my friend and some tacos from the train station and parked at the Rosebowl parking. We walked a trek to the stadium and got some drinks and found our seats. We watched Charli XCX and watched the ASL translator translate Boys and we learned how to sign Boys and then we met up with my sister who was also at the concert and got some more drinks and some pretzels because I had a craving and my friend is the best. And then we went back to our seats and had the most incredible concert experience ever as Taylor Swift serenaded us the whole evening. Also Selena Gomez and Troye Sivan showed up?!?!??!!?! Also she sang All To Well acoustic in front of us like we were so close to the B stage and Dancing With Our Hands Tied on the guitar and I just about died like 20 times even though I had already seen a instalive of a girl from the first night of the concert in Glendale and pretty much knew what was going to happen. But it didn’t matter because this was the concert that i was at next to Taylor and my best friend and oh wow.

And now Lover is fast approaching and I no longer work 2 jobs or at Disneyland and I still don’t really know what I want to do with my life and I’m still probably working too much (say hello to the past 3 sundays that I was supposed to be off and then got a call at 6am asking if I could come in, yay overtime pay? boo 6 days). But I’m getting closer to figuring out what I want and who knows maybe I’ll go back to school and become a teacher because that’s always kind of been a secret dream of mine, but they get paid so little and grad school is expensive. But shaping young minds seems so fulfilling and worthwhile. Join me in my next existential crisis for that debate.

Anyways the point of this is that Taylor has always been there for me through all of the questioning and the confusion and the late night walks with my dog at the creek looking up at the stars and the happy times and the sad times and honestly there is a song for every single mood that i’ve had. And even though I’m 25 and have never had a romantic relationship (not sure I want one or if i’m just afraid of pursuing one) I’ve always had her songs to stay with me through it all. And this post is a mess and now it’s 3am and thank goodness I don’t have work tomorrow, but that nap did mess up my sleep schedule and my computer is at 18% and it’s probably time for bed. Also Taylor if you ever do read this sorry it’s a mess, but I really do appreciate all that you’ve done even if I never get to meet you and tell you that.

#megan's life updates #casa edition #tmi #maybe ill make an abridged version one day #suitable for taylikes #cause this one is kinda way too personal #not that that would ever happen #but a girl can dream #a dream is a wish your heart makes is still stuck in my head #you can take the girl out of disney #but she'll always and forever be that disney bitch

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nobody-but-still-somebody-blog · 6 years

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Nobody listens, cause they don't want to

I want to have a blog kinda

Boom, now I'm weird, perfect opportunity for people like luke, jordan and brandon to pick at. Seeing me react to their statements amuses them. But if don't react then they get weird, but if I give trouble on what I believe to be in an equal level, they're taken aback. I've gotten good at just laughing at their queries and jabs.

Find humor in things that bother you, that will make them easier to deal with.

January 1st 2018

Do me a favor and prove yourself wrong, be somebody that people want to be around. Stop feeling like a loser, be the best looking person you've ever seen. You don't need a single fuck face in your life if they don't need you.

You can do this.

It's always been the same for me, just watch and observe all the people around you have fun. But you can't bring yourself to ask to come with.

Now what do I do

I feel so damn unimportant it's laughable, nobody Fucking knows who I am, I have never heard anybody ask who I am more than when they are talking to me around my cousin. I bet it's not out of curiosity, but it's out of requirement. Why can't I just have trustable figures in my life, somebody I don't have sacrifice much for and vice versa. Nobody fucking cares and if they do it's because they have to, otherwise it would be awkward. Maybe I have to make a sacrifice for somebody before they ever could care about me. But is there not one person

Fuck that word. If I could remove one word from the English language it would be the word,"awkward" never in my life has one word bothered me more.

I am in depression

Depression is for those who don't wanna try anymore

Happiness is for those who need to try more things to feel it

Self abuse is for those who think they have no control over who they are

Joy is for those who think God provides it

Sadness is for those who just take a second to look around and at themselves

Dissatisfaction and discontentment is for everyone, Happy New Year

1/11/18

Anime makes me analyze things. It puts me in a mood to think about the actions of others in ways I wouldn't normally think, perhaps that's just what happens when I have nothing to do for hours on end.

It makes me wanna change who I am, the ever present and lurking feeling of loneliness is my companion and consultant during these thoughts, making me see connections in people. The feelings we have, the actions we do, we're all the same. Our needs and our wants, just to find the thing that makes us happy. Popularity, money, success.. love. We take steps towards these things. But the staircase of acquirement branches in many ways. Stepping up continuously is stressful, uncomfortable, difficult, and there are always easier ways to find these things. But they always destroy who you are in the process. Success and money comes from hard work... not if you just take from somebody who already is successful.

Popularity requires something about you to be special, your looks, abilities, your family's riches perhaps.... not if you do whatever you can to make everyone around you happy, thereby making people like you.

Love requires a special connection, intricate connections of magnetic personalities. Something about you has to be able to connect with someone else in order for you to find love... but we often can find a substitute for that by just giving ourselves to whoever wants us. Filling that want momentarily.

Success and money take time to find, but for the restless, a life of crime could be attractive I guess, I really don't know how that feels.

Popularity is often times random and some people become popular for no reason what so ever. But the less fortunate can sometimes feel the need to waste their time running around for the sake of others, never taking time to look at themselves and what is happening. You destroy your mind to feel accepted.

Love is something we all want and sometimes need. Especially while you are young or if you have none at home. But there is more than one way to find it. Throwing yourself at the nearest sign of potential, you destroy your body to feel love for just a moment

That is not for me, I will never hit on a girl. If that changes that means that I've changed. I can't waste another part of my life for something bound to be painful. I will not fall on my own sword. Of course my fuckin dick is a sword with a brain of its own. Dayum maybe if I doa lil smash and dash babiii.

1/14/18

Instant crush sounds like a Taylor swift song in the beginning, but then it starts to sound good

Her face, sharp and smiling, she looks at me, across the room full of strangers she approaches. She embraces me tightly, buries her head in my chest. She's happy to see me. Her voice is soft and comforting when she speaks to me, but only when she's embracing me. When the song begins she isn't afraid to feel the music. She's pulls me toward the dance floor when her favorite song starts. Her body moves exactly how she wants it to, quick movements with the rhythm. The way she moves pulls me toward her. My eyes are glued on her, letting her real side show. This is who she is and it makes me love her more. I can't help it, I begin to move with her. Together the song is ours, no one can take it away from us now. She takes my shirt off in the middle of everyone and begins to grind on me. The music makes me forget anyone else is watching. Our movements are no longer our own. The music is in complete control, mixed with the cement attraction and excitement I'm feeling for the elegant party baby in front of me. I can see she is beginning to feel hot and flustered. She grabs me by the arm and pulls my face to hers. Making out, still feeling the music, I am hers now.

January 17th 2018

<silly fantasy

Somebody?

I wish I had celibacy

I'm tired, but I can't sleep

I'm hungry, but I can't eat

What am I

A Jew in a concentration camp

Your existence is haunting

then you wouldn't feel lonely

No silly, happiness is an illusion

...

1/18/18

I wanna beat the shit out of a lot of people, fucking retards think they are the shit. Yet the people who could make them realize they aren't continue to encourage their behavior

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