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#i used a real pencil pen for this and I am in LOVE
fortheartofneps · 6 months
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Flee the Night
I'm watching season two and the brain rot got me. I love it so much.... I am going to make a season two version but I am cooking man. College assignments take priority rn rip.
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ashtxrie · 2 months
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oh no... am i falling in love? (sunoo)
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PAIR. high school!sunoo x gn!reader GENRE. fake dating au, high school au, best friends to lovers, fluff WORD COUNT. 2.2k WARNINGS. none! NOTES. first post kinda nervous!! <//3 i need a sunoo irl he is truly the greenest of green flags
you and sunoo are those friends
you’ve got that type of friendship where something clicked and suddenly you were both attached at the hip for years
because apparently having the same clear muji pencil case with the holy grail 0.5 black muji pen at the beginning of middle school meant best friends ride or die in seventh-grade culture
like, someone who prioritized aesthetics in notetaking as much as you did? even in the confines of this crusty campus? crazy.
but anyway, with you being absolutely intent on making friends, sunoo couldn’t get rid of you if he tried but pls he could never survive without you anyway... who else would he trust enough to exchange his top-tier notes with?
and since then you’ve both been best friends for life! well, ever since the +6 with the introduction of sunoo's other friends [read: the rest of enhypen...]
and at first you were super happy because new friends!
but then they kind of stopped hanging out with you in the middle of sophomore year or so and went off into their own little world
and you were a little sad
ok maybe a lot sad. devastated, even.
but that was okay because that meant you were able to meet new friends and expand your horizons! you even got the chance to focus on yourself and join some new clubs, too!
who even is sunoo anymore lmao you don’t know him
but anyway
it was junior year and you were so tired of your friends bugging you to get a s/o
“[name], why don’t you date someone?”
“you’d really hit it off with so and so, don’t you think?”
“just put yourself out there”
ರ_ರ
ayo... excuse me
so one day you just can’t take it anymore
and maybe you should’ve thought this through but... nope
you don’t pause to think things through
because life is for living in the moment hell yes yolo gang
“umm guys i’m already dating someone!”
needless to say your friends go INSANE
like who tf is [name] gatekeeping from us they’re so fake /j
so like any sane and mentally adept person, you say the first name that comes to mind
“hahaha … sunoo!”
your friends stare at you. flabbergasted, shocked, stunned beyond words.
blink blink
“but … weren’t you guys just friends”
“NO”
you’re panicking but
trust
“we’re in LOVE”
ur friends are really like ok whatever, but go off
and that is how you find yourself dragging yourself over to sunoo's fifth period and placing your hands on sunoo's shoulders
“promise me you won’t freak out”
and ofc sunoo is already freaking out
bc why are you standing in front of the ap lang classroom with this crazily determined face and forcing him to listen to you
and this is how you get into this situation
with sunoo having a literal double take and you doing your best "pls help me out i beg of you" impression
“i can’t DATE you”
what
you give sunoo your best professional face even though inside you’re ???
bc um is it that bad to date you??
you are confused???
you’ve saved sunoo thousands of times in his high school career in both academics and social standing he can afford to pretend to date you ONCE
“WHY NOT”
“BECAUSE”
...
is he being fr rn
obviously you’re not getting anywhere and you turn around to walk away, kind of annoyed
“fine then, i’ll just find someone else to date me.” shrug (dies inside).
as soon as you say that, it’s like you’ve flipped a switch and suddenly sunoo is very concerned and almost a little upset
and when you don’t notice him contemplating something, he runs in front of you and nearly knocks you over
“second thoughts?”
sunoo scowls
although it looks more like a lil pout pushing at his lips and he crosses his arms
lmao who is this and what’s happened to sunoo
you shrug and start to leave for real until sunoo reaches out to tug at your arm
“NO, NO WAIT … I’LL DO IT”
you whirl around immediately and you are needless to say, very relieved!
。◕‿◕。
“perfect!”
but apparently sunoo hasn’t recovered from his fall from before
bc he can’t stop rubbing his hand against his neck and his face is all blotchy and pink
kinda cute, but in a best friends way.  like wowie my best friend looks kinda adorable look at that boy go
but ofc sunoo has to ruin the special moment because he offhandedly says, “shouldn’t we have rules or something?”
rules???
RULES???
this is fake dating sunoo wdyfm rules? that's so silly goofy
“huh?”
“like … things not to do? maybe one big rule is not ruining our friendship???”
ʘ‿ʘ
oh
he kinda smart for that
“ok easy then, just don’t fall in love with me”
apparently this is the WRONG thing to say?
sunoo is RED like boy is not pink anymore his cheeks are burning red
“you can’t just say that?”
????
you are confused bc what does that even mean
“why not?”
“that’s like ...  y-you you can’t just say that.”
you are, if possible, even more confused?
“okay and?”
sunoo blinks
pls this boy has the audacity to just shrug
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
u are dumb af sunoo bout to throw hands here
but he won’t bc he loves u <3
so fifteen minutes later you guys decide to make three big rules
sunoo had a whole list of like twenty but you narrowed it down to these:
1. don’t ruin ur friendship
2. no kissing
3. and ur paying for three rounds of mint choco ice cream after this is over
honestly you think this is kinda rude considering sunoo is richer than ur entire life but whatever, at least he’s not leaving you out to the wolves
so when it’s finally time to put this fake dating thing to the test, you tug sunoo over to your side of the table during lunch and make sure to swing his hand
which actually feels kind of nice??
like you’ve never actually thought about this before
but sunoo is comforting
his hand fits right in yours, and he’s so warm
and i mean haha it’s not like this is a new thing, you two hold hands all the time!! but adjkaldjkfl not in a dating way
ur friends are shocked. bamboozled.
like they never thought you’d actually show up with a DATE
and bc they’re all RUDE they grill sunoo
but sunoo is best boy
best bf
and answers all their questions like a pro
that's my man
i mean what???
ur so proud
you let ur head rest against sunoo's shoulder and BITCH
sunoo presses a kiss to ur forehead
YO........................ insane.
why are u so happy? what is this??
it’s just so gentle and soft and you feel your heart getting all mushy and warm
your friends all give a big collective aww because one, they’re annoying af and yes y’all are cute cute and this is cute
but ur going through some existential crisis
and later when you’re walking with sunoo to all your classes, you can’t stop thinking that hey, this fakedating thing isn’t that bad
but whatever it’s just cause u miss spending time with sunoo!
yes, that’s it!
you’re just sad that sunoo always hangs out with his new group and you don’t get to see him as much
so this is nice!
you’re just going through some bff nostalgia rn... it's just gonna take some time for [name].exe to start working again
anyway now bc of this fakedating thing, you and sunoo just spend so much time together
like you guys have always been best friends, but this feels different
sunoo will run over to you when he sees you and wrap his arms around your waist
the first time he did it, he had the cuteness to go “is this okay? are you okay? is this too much?"
and YOUR HEART WENT !!!!!
you might’ve blushed
okay you did
but you convince yourself it’s just because ur touch starved and bitchless
c’mon... get it together
but whenever you call sunoo and wave at him, his face just LIGHTS up
and you’re pretty sure yours does too
(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ ✧゚・: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)
needless to say, you kinda don’t want this all to end
because somewhere in the middle of all this, your head has gone from calling sunoo your fake boyfriend to your real boyfriend
and you don’t really want to go back to just being friends if you’re honest
wait hold up
uh oh
UH OH CODE RED
INTERPOL INTERPOL.....
did you just admit you liked sunoo?? in a FOR REALS way?
UMMMMM
so like the only way you know how to deal with things, you avoid it!
you start to act really distant
and now whenever sunoo wraps his arms around you, you stiffen up
and sunoo like the angel he is pulls away so quickly bc ?? is his best friend upset? uncomfortable?
did HE make his best friend for life, his 4lifer, uncomfortable? omg this isn’t ok what is happening
everyone can tell something is up
ofc they can, what with you going to the extent of running away whenever you see sunoo and sunoo reacting like the entire light got blown out his life
and bffr sunoo may be innocent but he ISN'T dumb
he knows your schedule he KNOWS you’re ignoring him
and baby is upset
because lately you’ve been starting to feel a lot more to him
and now you’re just gone??
that’s not okay and sunoo isn’t just gonna sit around and be sad
if there’s something he can do he’s gonna do all he can to try to fix it!
he corners you one day and holds up an angry piece of paper
“excuse me but you broke rule number one which is, in case you forgot, don’t RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP”
“oh haha uh sunoo! hi uhh i gotta go 👉👉 ”
sunoo's face falls
and that was it
you just wanna hold his cheeks and tell him things are fine and that you love him
wait WHAT
but sunoo is still staring at you with that wounded look
like you’ve just ripped up his heart and torn it to shreds
bc that’s kinda what you’re doing
omg what’ve you done
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
“sunoo…”
his eyes lock onto yours so fast that you’re afraid he’s got whiplash
your mouth goes dry, and for a few moments it’s hard to talk
but you finally manage to tell him that “i don’t think we should fake date anymore.”
sunoo's face breaks
his eyes go wide, and it looks like he wants to stagger. and he almost does, just a little bit
“is it something i did?”
WHAT
this boy
kim sunoo is really gonna be the death of you
you’re shaking your head back and forth so fast because NO of course not of course this isn’t his fault
sunoo is Not Okay, and he looks so, so concerned for you. “because i swear i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. if i screwed up just tell me and i can fix it, [name], please”
you shake ur head, already starting to panic.  “of course not.  it’s not YOU sunoo. i just can’t fake date you because--”
you clamp your hands over your mouth
“because?” sunoo prompts, his voice careful
you just shake your head, already starting to turn and run back to somewhere, anywhere because this is stupid and you’re scared
terrified, actually
but sunoo just takes your hand and tugs you backward a bit, almost like a scene from a movie
you do that little twirl back and are face to face with the one and only
“do you … do you like me?” sunoo asks
that’s it
it’s out
you’re ready for your entire friendship with sunoo to come crashing down
“do you?” he repeats softly
you try to pull away but sunoo isn’t having it
he’s still holding onto your hand, gently, of course, and his eyes are boring into yours
you’re too scared to look because you’re afraid of what you’ll find
but when you can’t take it anymore and finally tilt your head up you realize something important
because his eyes aren’t full of disgust
in fact, that’s further from the truth
kim sunoo is staring at you with the biggest heart eyes you’ve ever seen and you’re confused as to how you’ve never seen this sooner
it’s almost like you’re his whole world, and now you can’t fucking breathe
is this real? chat is this fr rn??
your heart’s pounding in your chest so fast and there’s something bursting at your lungs
you nod faintly.  “yes. i like you”
the huge grin that spreads across sunoo's face is everything
he rushes forward to pull you into a gigantic hug, even lifting you up a little as he spins you around and lets out a little happy noise
“i’ve liked you forever, [name], i can’t believe this is real”
what
so u could’ve been dating sunoo before??
“you dork why didn’t you tell me?”
“because you didn’t like me like that!”
BITCH WHAT
“well maybe i was confused” you pipe back
sunoo just laughs, burying his head in your shoulder.  “i’m so happy right now.”
and honestly ?
so are you !!
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luvhaos · 1 year
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elevator pitch | ml
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pairing: frat boy! mark lee x f! reader genre: college! au, frat! au, fluff, angst word count: 9.1k summary: you hardly talk to any of the members of nu kappa tau until you go to one party and now, all of a sudden, they’re all so eager to chat with you and tell you all about their “brother,” mark lee. (alternatively: four times mark’s friends tell you about him and one time you ask them about him). warning(s): alcohol use and underage drinking, cursing, backstabbing, sort of but not really love triangle author’s note: the handful of frat parties that i’ve gone to inspired this but unfortunately, no cute frat boys like the ones here. also this is not proofread so please forgive any mistakes  playlist: crash landing by nct 127 • nonsense by sabrina carpenter • disaster by conan gray •  be by my side by crush
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GROUND ZERO
You and Yuqi glance at each other and then back to Minjung and her pleading puppy dog eyes. “Please,” she says again, pouting for extra effect.
Yuqi asks, “What’s the real reason you want to go to the NKT party?”
“I told you!” Minjung says, “I want to get a feel for the party scene here! And aren’t you two supposed to want to show me all the university has to offer? You’re being bad upperclassmen!”
You squint at her and ask, “It wouldn’t be because of that guy you told us you met on orientation, would it? What’s his name? Jimin?”
“Jisung,” Minjung corrects too quickly. “And no, that’s not the reason. I really, really just want to go to a party! Come on! Please!”
You sigh, “Okay, okay. You know that we need to know a brother to get into this party, right?”
Minjung frowns and asks, “Do you know any?”
You shake your head but Yuqi, begrudgingly, replies, “A friend of mine is in NKT.”
Minjung perks up and you sigh again. It’s not that you hate frats or going to frat parties or even frat guys. You enjoy a good party with free booze, though you could do without the sweaty basements and red and blue lights, and you even have some friends in other frats. It’s just that NKT leaves a sour taste in your mouth when you recall that your sister got her heart broken by one of the members. To add insult to injury, she was a senior and a member of NKT’s sister sorority while he was a sophomore at the time, so it was embarrassing to her as well. You don’t remember his name but you’re sure that if you hear it, you’ll know who it is.
“Ground rules,” Yuqi tells Minjung, “first of all, we all stay together. No wandering off with people you don’t know. Second, don’t take a drink from a stranger and steer clear of the jungle juice, just covered drinks. Lastly, we’re out of there by midnight because you—” Yuqi pointed at Minjung, “—have an eight AM tomorrow.” Minjung makes a whiny sound at the back of her throat and Yuqi glares, which makes her quiet down. “Got it?”
“I got it, I got it,” Minjung says, nodding emphatically. She hugs you both quickly and asks, “Can we get ready together?”
“Of course,” you reply. “Doors usually open at ten, so we’ll head over a few minutes after.”
The evening rolls around quickly, and you’re standing in your dorm with Yuqi and Minjung. You’re pretty sure you heard your roommate, Sihyun, talking about going as well but you assume that she’s primping in another dorm.
You and Yuqi patiently wait for Minjung to finish tapping glittery eyeshadow to the corners of her eyes. You glance at yourself in the mirror on the back of your door and adjust the strappy top you have on. Yuqi smooths her hair down in the mirror as Minjung chirps, “All ready to go!”
The three of you make your way to Greek Row, where there’s already a small line outside the NKT frat. You already recognize one of the bros on screening duty — Johnny Suh, vice president of NKT. He’s in your leadership seminar and he’s pretty friendly, though he perpetually seems to forget pencils and pens. He is a very good public speaker, though.
As you shuffle forward in line, you take a look at the second member, holding the door open for people to stream in. You think he’s far too pretty to be a frat bro, all delicate features and lithe limbs. He offers sweet smiles at those who pass, giving you one when you and your friends make it to the front.
Johnny recognizes you and gives you a grin. “I didn’t know you partied.”
“Just don’t come here,” you say and you expect him to be offended but Johnny just laughs good-naturedly.
“Hope we don’t disappoint,” he says.
Yuqi’s friend, Yukhei, pops his head out from inside and calls out, “They’re cool to come in, Johnny.”
“Don’t worry, I already know,” Johnny says with a conspiratorial wink at you. “Jungwoo, you can let them in.”
The pretty one, Jungwoo, nods and says, “Have fun!” as the three of you pass.
Okay, so maybe NKT isn’t as bad as your sister made it out to be; the saying goes that one bad apple ruins the batch.
Minjung immediately tugs you and Yuqi over to the bar station, where you recognize two other upperclassmen, Doyoung and Kun, serving drinks. Kun’s the one who comes over to the three of you and he asks, “What are we having tonight?”
“Beers,” Yuqi says, “if you have any.”
Kun taps a finger against his chin in mock contemplation and turns to the fridge behind him. “I think we’ve got something like that.” He hands you three cans of Coors, and you thank him before wading through the crush of warm bodies to a space where the three of you can stand comfortably. You and Yuqi share a look when you see Minjung peering through the crowd, standing on her toes.
“Looking for someone?” you tease, taking a sip of your beer.
She flushes a little but it seems she’s found Jisung. She waves and he notices immediately, straightening and heading toward your little group, another three brothers in tow. “Hi,” Minjung says coyly.
Jisung returns her grin and then introduces himself. He lets his upperclassmen introduce themselves as Ten, Jaemin, and Mark.
You find yourself staring at Mark. He’s cute, with his backwards baseball cap and doe-eyes and high cheekbones. He meets your eyes and you look away, out into the crowd. You take in the writhing bodies and the thumping beat of the bass-boosted Waka Flocka Flame song blaring over the speakers that threatens to blow out your eardrums. You see your roommate, Sihyun, in the crowd and she sees you too. You raise your hand in a wave and it seems like she’s about to return the gesture but then, suddenly, she looks just to your left and frowns. Her gaze narrows and she turns abruptly from you.
What the hell was that?
Minjung nudges you and interrupts your train of thought. “Sorry, what was the question?”
“Can you be Mark’s partner for beer pong against me and Jisung?” You open your mouth to say no but you can’t resist the second round of Minjung’s puppy eyes and you know Yuqi sucks at pong, so you agree and let Mark lead your group to the table, where red solo cups are set in triangular configurations at each end.
You and Mark take one side while Minjung and Jisung take the other. You play rock-paper-scissors to determine who goes first, with Mark suffering a stunning loss against Minjung in the game. As Jisung lines up a shot, Johnny comes up next to you, off door duty now. He asks, “What do you think? You going to come to more parties now?”
“Depends on how this round goes,” you say.
“Well, then fair warning,” Johnny snickers, “Mark sucks at this.”
“I do not!” Mark huffs but all Johnny offers is a conciliatory pat on the back before leaving to mingle with other guests. Mark looks a little panicked while he assures you, “I’m not bad, I promise.”
You laugh and pat him on the arm. “We’ll see, Mark. We’ll see.”
As the game progresses you see that Mark is not… bad, per se, but he’s definitely not the best player. Neither is Minjung but Jisung, on the other hand, is a monster at the game, getting four consecutive ping pong balls into your cups and one plops into a corner cup. You return the favor, sinking five balls in a row. “Whoa,” Mark says, eyes wide and delighted. “Nice job!”
Minjung misses on her turn and Mark misses on his. Jisung sinks two more and you get one more in. You both sink some more shots, leaving both your teams at one cup. Mark’s getting in position to take his shot and you grab his elbow. “Here,” you say and you reposition him. “And just a gentle flick of the wrist. It’ll go in. Promise.”
Mark gazes at you for a second longer than you expect him too before he gulps heavily and nods. He follows your instructions perfectly, just flicking his wrist. The ball bounces and bounces and bounces right into the last cup.
You and Mark cheer and onlookers applaud you two while Minjung and Jisung groan. You raise your hand for a high-five before you see that Mark was readying himself to hug you. You lower your hand and pull him into a hug, patting his back. He smells surprisingly nice — clean and a little citrusy.
When you two part, there’s a bit of an awkward silence that falls between you as the crowd disperses and Yuqi makes small talk with Ten and Jaemin. Mark lifts the baseball cap off his head, ruffling and smoothing out his dark hair before sliding the hat back on. He finally says, “I’ve, uh, never seen you at one of our parties.”
You hum, “Yeah, that’s why Johnny’s on top of me about if I like the party.”
Mark nods. “Then, how’d you get so good at pong if you don’t go to frat parties and stuff?”
“Frat parties aren’t the only place to play beer pong,” you say, finishing the beer you had placed down at the start of the game. “And I never said I didn’t go to frat parties, just not to NKT ones.”
Mark scratches the back of his neck. “Right, right. Uh, can I ask why?”
You shrug. It’s not like you’re going to tell him the real reason, so you just reply, “Didn’t really have a reason.”
“Aren’t you friends with Johnny?”
“I’d say we’re more good acquaintances. Besides, he’s older anyways so I don’t see him outside of, like, one class we share.”
“So, you’re a…”
“Sophomore.”
“Really?” Mark lights up and you can’t say you don’t like the way he lights up. “So am I!”
“That’s cool. Have you picked a major yet?”
“I think I’m going with English. What about you?”
“Probably polisci,” you say.
You and Mark make a little more small talk before Yuqi’s tapping your shoulder, looking a little apologetic, though you don’t understand why. “We’ve got to go,” she says, but she’s more telling Mark than you. “Minjung’s got a morning class tomorrow so we need to get her back.”
“Yeah, totally get it,” Mark says. Yuqi nods and moves a few feet over to pull Minjung away from flirting with Jisung. “Let me walk you guys out.”
As the three of you set down Greek Row, Mark calls your name and you turn. “Yeah?”
“Uh… just… I’ll see you around.”
You wave. “See you around.”
(You don’t look back, but Mark stands in the doorway until he can’t see you anymore).
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THE FIRST PITCH: JOHNNY
Your alarm jolts you out of a dreamless sleep. You flail for your phone, frantically tapping the screen to shut it off. Sihyun’s already dressed but she’s gazing at you in a way that you’ve never seen before. She says, “I didn’t know you were close with Mark Lee.”
“Who?” you ask. Your mind is still half-asleep, and you’re honestly not in the mood for whatever tone she’s giving you right now.
“Mark Lee. You talked with him the whole time at the party.”
“Oh.” You slide off your bed and slide on your hall slippers, grabbing the small bag filled with your morning routine things. “I just met him last night.”
She squints at you but only gives you a terse “Okay” before she’s leaving for her classes. You roll your eyes at her retreating back.
You go through your morning routine, still rubbing sleep out of your eyes. You don’t have class until nine-thirty, so you figure you can go take a walk off-campus to grab a cup of coffee. As you get dressed, your phone buzzes on your desk and you check the text.
Mingi: CAN WE PLZ GET COFFEE AND SMTH TO EAT BEFORE CLASSES TODAY  NEED CAFFEEINE
Yunho: Caffeine**
Yunho: And yes, please let’s get something to drink
You: yes please you two read my mind
You’ve been friends with Mingi and Yunho since orientation since you were all part of the same group. They had known each other since they were kids but you all immediately bonded the moment you met them. You’re in a couple of classes together but unfortunately, your leadership seminar today is not one of them.  They’re also in Alpha Tau Zeta, which is the frat you frequent the most because of them.
You meet the two of them in your dorm lobby and Mingi immediately throws an arm around your shoulder. “Finally! I’m starving, let’s go!”
He doesn’t give you a chance to say anything as he rushes you out of the dorm and in the direction of your trio’s favorite cafe. “Did you see that picture from the NKT party last night?” Yunho asks you.
“No, I was there with Yuqi and Minjung yesterday but we left early,” you respond as Yunho whips out his phone to show you Jungwoo’s — the pretty one’s — Instagram, where there’s a picture of Yuqi’s friend Yukhei on top of the roof with two other guys, all with a can of beer in hand.
“I can’t believe you went to a party not at ATZ or SΛT.” Mingi clutches a hand to his chest. “Are you cheating on us?”
You give him a playfully apologetic stare and say, “Please forgive me, Mingi. I lost focus.”
Mingi clicks his tongue and sighs, glancing at Yunho. “What do you think?”
“I think we can overlook this transgression,” Yunho says but he narrows his eyes at you and adds, “Once.”
“My heroes.”
You make it to the cafe in record time, unsurprising given that Mingi had you all basically power walking to the place. You’re slightly out of breath as you order, and you glare at your friends when they snicker about it a little.
“How was it though?” asks Yunho as you wait for your orders.
You tilt your head at him. “How was what?”
“NKT’s party.”
“It was cool,” you say. “Not super different from Alpha Tau’s,”
Your friends give you fake offended glares so you add, “ATZ’s are better because you two are there, though.” Once their egos are sufficiently stroked, you say, “Met some cool people. Do you guys know Mark Lee?”
“Yeah!” Mingi’s so enthusiastic that you jump a little at the volume of his voice. “Really nice guy and super chill.”
“Are you close with him?” Yunho asks.
You shake your head and say, “You know, Sihyun asked me that this morning but no, I just met him yesterday.”
Mingi and Yunho frown at the mention of Sihyun and share some unreadable glances with one another. You’re about to ask about what sort of telepathic conversation they’re having but the barista calls your name and you let it go as you pick up your bagel and iced latte.
You part ways with your friends when you get back to campus, since they’re both heading to the Science Center. You’re walking over to your class in Jeong Hall, when you hear someone call your name. Johnny strides over to you, only needing a few steps to reach you. “How’re you feeling?” he asks.
“I’m fine. Honestly, I should be asking you that. Looked like the party got crazier after we left.”
“I’m all good,” he says, shoving his hands in his pocket as you both make your way over to Jeong Hall. “Can’t say the same for some of the others. I think Mark’s incapacitated in bed today.”
“Yeah, he drank a lot during pong and I’m sure after too.”
Johnny nods and holds the door open as you go to your class. You thank him and, in a surprise turn of events, Johnny takes his seat next to you in your seminar classroom. He says, “I know Mark kind of sucks at beer pong but he’s really good at ping pong.”
You blink at him. “That’s pretty random.”
Johnny shrugs. “Just saying that he’s not always bad at games.”
“Noted?” Johnny just smiles at you and you turn to the front as Professor Lim enters the classroom.
“Good morning, everyone! Did you all have a good weekend?” There are indistinct mumbles and Professor Lim moves on. “I’m glad. I know I mentioned it last week, but you were all supposed to prepare elevator pitches for today as if you’re recommending a friend be hired for a position. Remember, you have about thirty seconds to convey the most vital information to the other person. Pair up with whoever’s next to you and then I’ll call on each pair to come to the front of the class where you’ll present your pitch to your partner. Does that make sense?”
“Yes, Professor.”
She claps her hands. “Perfect!”
“Guess it’s you and me,” Johnny says cheerfully. You smile at him and reply, “Guess so. Did you prepare a pitch?”
“Nope!”
You probably shouldn’t have expected something else.
“So you’re just winging it?”
“Flying by the seat of my pants,” Johnny hums.
“I’m jealous,” you sigh. “I don’t think I’d be able to pull that off.”
Professor Lim calls pairs up to the front of the class. Namjoon and Jongin go. Joohyun and Chan. Then, it’s you and Johnny.
“I can start,” Johnny says.
“Alright.”
Johnny rolls his neck and stretches before he nods at your professor. She gives him a thumbs-up and starts the thirty-five second timer — thirty seconds to give your pitch with a five second grace period.
“I know that you’re hiring,” Johnny begins, “and I have a friend of mine who would be perfect for the position.”
“Tell me about them.”
“His name’s Mark Lee and he’s one of the most well-rounded people that I know. He’s an excellent writer, a good multi-tasker, and he’s bilingual with Korean and English. He’s a responsible leader but also a really good team player. Not to mention, Mark can sing, dance, and rap too, and he’s also pretty handsome. He’s five-foot-nine so he’s not too tall but also the perfect height for hugs. And while he may be lacking in some skill areas like beer pong and alcohol tolerance, he makes up for it with his skill in table tennis as well as his enthusiasm and dedication.”
Johnny finishes his pitch right at the thirty second mark. Peeking over your shoulder, you meet Professor Lim’s eyes and clearly, you’re both equally perplexed. The rest of the class is also confused but Chan starts the polite applause and the rest of your seminar class follows.
“Thank you, Johnny,” Professor Lim finally says. “That was… interesting, to say the least. But I will say you had some persuasive points. However, the pitch was unfocused towards the end.”
Johnny nods, unbothered, and thanks your professor for her feedback. You’re trying to go over the basic points of your own pitch of Yuqi for whatever imaginary position there is, but all you can really focus on is wondering just why Johnny’s giving you all these random facts about Mark Lee.
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THE SECOND PITCH: LEE TAEYONG
“You’re a lifesaver, you know that?” Hongjoong says as you climb into the passenger seat of his car.
“No problem,” you say. “I will say though that I’ve participated in more Greek life events this week than I have in my entire college career.” Hongjoong chuckles at this as he pulls onto the street.
A few weeks ago, through Mingi and Yunho, Hongjoong begged you to go with him to some Greek event for board members of each frat and sorority at your university. You’re not a hundred percent sure what it is and it doesn’t really matter given that you’re just there to ward off Hongjoong’s ex-girlfriend, who was the head of one of the sororities. You don’t know Hongjoong as well as you know other members of his frat, but he’s been pretty nice in all your interactions together.
The event is hosted in an upscale hotel downtown in one of their event halls. Hongjoong helps you out of his car like a gentleman and shows the invitation to the event to the bouncer, who lets the two of you in and directs you down the hall.
“This is the fanciest place I think I’ve ever been,” you say.
“Me too,” Hongjoong says. He leads the two of you into the room, where there are already a bunch of people mingling in semi-formal attire. You see a few familiar faces: Joohyun from your leadership class is a sorority president, and everyone on campus knows Jackson Wang, the recruitment officer for Gamma Omega Tau. You also spot Johnny with some of his frat brothers in a small circle, talking conspiratorially in their huddle.
Then, you see Mark across the room, talking to a group of people. You can hear his laugh across the room and you wonder why he’s not with the other NKT members.
Hongjoong taps you gently and you snap to attention, sheepishly saying, “Sorry, sorry, zoned out for a minute.”
“No worries.” He nods at the waiter in front of you, patiently holding a tray of hors d’oeuvres out to the two of you. “Want anything to eat?”  You take a piece of toasted bread with some high-end cheese spread on it and thank the waiter.
You and Hongjoong make your way into the crowd. He introduces you to some people but their names are a little jumbled in your head. You forget how many frats and sororities there are on campus.
You’re at the drink station, waiting for the bartender to finish with the group of sorority sisters in front of you. You catch a glimpse of someone who you swear looks just like Sihyun. Someone comes up next to you and you look over at him. He’s unbelievably handsome, his face all sharp lines and angles but somehow, there’s a softness to him too. He smiles warmly and says your name. You stare at him, shocked and he just giggles, “Sorry, I know you don’t know me. I’m Taeyong, the president of NKT.”
You almost choke on your saliva. First Jungwoo, then Taeyong… were frat boys just getting prettier nowadays? He leans against the bar. “It’s nice to finally put a name to a face. You’ve been a topic of discussion lately.”
You chuckle nervously, “Only good things, I hope?”
“Nothing but,” Taeyong replies. He glances at your dress and says, “I like your dress. It’s a nice shade of blue.”
“Thanks!”
He adds, “Mark’s favorite color’s blue.”
Just when you thought you met a normal member of NKT, he starts talking about Mark again. Then, Taeyong says, “I think his tie is that color, actually.”
All you can do is offer a small hum of acknowledgement. What are you going to do with that information? The bartender finally takes your order and when you get your drinks, you make a bee-line for Hongjoong.
“Here.” You hand him the drink. I’m going to use the bathroom,” you tell Hongjoong. He nods at you and you ask a waiter directions to the restroom.
When you get inside, you lock the door behind you. This bathroom is nicer than your room back at him.
You look at yourself in the mirror and at your dress. Mark’s favorite shade of blue. You smooth the skirt down before unlocking the door and stepping out of the bathroom.
You crash right into someone.
“Shit!” You both say at the same time and you immediately know the voice. “Sorry, Mark.”
“No, no, I’m sorry! I should have been paying attention,” he says and he helps you up. His touch is warm and sturdy. When you stand, Mark gives you a once over that makes you feel a little warmer than usual and he says, “You look great!”
“Thanks, so do you.”
“That, uh, that color looks good on you.”
“Thanks. It looks good on you too.” Mark glances down at himself, as if he’s just realizing that he’s wearing a tie the same color as your dress. He looks at you again and you both laugh a little.
“That’s a crazy coincidence,” Mark says.
“Yeah, it is.” You pause and wait a few moments before saying, “I won’t keep you from your business any longer.”
Mark’s quick to wave your concerns off. “No, I just had to take a break. Events like this are kind of tiring.” He then raises an eyebrow at you. “You’re not on the board of a sorority, are you?”
You shake your head. “I came as Hongjoong’s date.”
Mark frowns and his shoulders slump a little. “Oh.”
You don’t know why, but you hastily add, “We’re not dating or anything. I’m here to scare off some ex-girlfriend who is on a sorority board.”
Mark straightens up again. “Got it. That’s cool of you.”
“I guess so. But these heels are killing my feet.”
“You should take them off.”
You snort, “And have a bunch of judgy sisters and brothers look at my feet? No thanks.”
Mark laughs. He laughs loudly at that and you find that you really, really like making Mark Lee laugh. The two of you make your way back to the main room and you can’t find Hongjoong. Mark gets swept up in a conversation with a few friends from another frat, disappointingly enough.
You wander over to a less crowded corner where a few friendly sorority girls are standing a few feet away. They include you in their conversation, introducing themselves as Chaeyoung, Dahyun, Jiwoo, and Heejin. You make small talk with them and they’re all super sweet, asking to exchange Instagrams with you and telling you that you should all hang out sometime. As the five of you talk, you see that there are people making their way to the dancefloor at the center of the room. The music starts to pick up into something more catchy. The girls ask you if you want to dance with them but you decline, content with watching from the sidelines and waiting for Hongjoong to find you again.
It’s Taeyong that comes over to you again. “Not a dancer?” he asks, motion to the crowd.
“Just not into right now.”
“Mark’s a really good dancer, you know.”
“I know, Johnny already told me.”
“Johnny told you what about me already?” Mark comes to stand next to you and your bare shoulder brushes against his suit jacket briefly, but it’s enough to send some shock down your spine.
“That you’re a good dancer.” Taeyong’s giving Mark a look that you can’t decipher but Mark seems to understand it, turning to you and asking, “Do you want to—”
Hongjoong rushes over to you, whisper-shouting your name. His and Mark’s voices overlap and you’re left to wonder what Mark was about to say. You definitely know what Hongjoong’s scrambling to you about. Taeyong and Mark watch on as Hongjoong sidles up to you and slides an arm around your waist.
A minute later, his ex-girlfriend comes sauntering over, eyes narrowing immediately when she sees you. “Who’s this?” she asks Hongjoong, pointedly ignoring you. You let Hongjoong spin whatever story he concocted. You’re more concerned with the evil eye Sihyun is giving in your direction.
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THE THIRD PITCH: DONGHYUCK
A week passes and you’ve a) gotten zero new anecdotes about Mark and b) not spoken to Sihyun at all, not for a lack of trying though. She’s icing you out, that much is obvious but you don’t know what you’ve done wrong.
You’re sitting in the library, trying to write a paper for your comparative politics class but your phone has taken up most of your attention for the better part of an hour. As you mindlessly click on your friends’ Snapchat stories, your screen shifts and a picture of Mark lights up your screen. He’s handing his card over to a cashier at what seems like the convenience store on campus, and there are five guys standing behind him, clearly unaware of the camera. You recognize Jisung and Jaemin in the photo.
What the fuck?
You reopen Snapchat. A few seconds later, another photo of Mark drops. This time, he’s got a guitar on his lap but instead of playing it, one of his arms is outstretched, clearly trying to take the camera from the photographer.
You just put your phone screen-up on the table and lo and behold, another AirDropped photo comes through. This time, Mark’s sitting beside one of the boys from the first photo, pointing at something in a book opened between them with a pencil.
You peer around the library. It’s massive, and people are on all sorts of devices so it’s impossible to discern who’s sending you photos of Mark.
Then, a notification banner drops. donghyuck ☀️(@haechannie) has requested to follow you.
You rub your eyes with the heel of your palms before letting out deep sigh. You open your app and tap on the follow request, surveying the profile. Your eyes land on the bio and it makes sense because Donghyuck has “NKT” in it.
That explains it all. You accept the request and ask to follow him back, which he accepts seconds later. His profile opens to you and you see various photos of NKT brothers. Mark appears in most of them, along with one, some, or all of the boys from the first photo. You tap on the most recent photo, dated to the NKT party you were at. Mark is passed out on the couch and Donghyuck took a selfie with his sleeping form. You have to suppress a snicker.
There’s an alert about a DM from Donghyuck and you go to your Instagram DMs.
donghyuck ☀️: hi :)
you: hi you: were you the one airdropping those pics?
donghyuck ☀️: yeah that was me donghyuck ☀️: just wanted to show you some of the sides of mark donghyuck ☀️sent a photo donghyuck ☀️: leader mark donghyuck ☀️sent a photo donghyuck ☀️: musician mark donghyuck ☀️sent a photo donghyuck ☀️: tutor mark
you: whats your angle here?
donghyuck ☀️:  🤷that’s for us to know and u to find out
you: do you mean us as in you, taeyong, and johnny or us as in your entire frat?
donghyuck ☀️: 🤷 donghyuck ☀️: did you know that mark can skateboard? donghyuck ☀️sent a photo
You massage your temples and exit out of Instagram, turning your notifications off. What were they playing at?
“That’s kind of rude of you.” You jolt when someone speaks from behind you. You whirl around in your chair and Donghyuck has his hands crossed over his chest, phone in hand. “I’m just trying to give you high quality Mark Lee photos.”
“What is with you and your frat’s obsession with Mark? Are you secretly a cult to him or something?”
“I’ll never reveal our secrets.”
You roll your eyes and start packing up your stuff. There’s no point in staying here if you can’t focus. Donghyuck doesn’t make a move to stop you but he says, “I’m serious though. Mark’s a really good guy, even if he’s annoying too.”
The last part makes the corners of your lips twitch upwards. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
As you leave the library, you nearly run into Mark a second time. You just manage to stop before you do but Mark just laughs, “We need to stop meeting like this.”
“We do.” You open your mouth to ask Mark something. You’re not sure what you want to say really, you just know that you don’t really want the conversation to end there.
But Mark says, “I’d love to stay and talk but I’m actually meeting up with a classmate for coffee and I’ve already kept her waiting.”
Something in your stomach plummets. “Ah, sorry, don’t mean to keep you.”
“You’re not!” Mark is quick to say but you shake your head and say to him, “I’ll see you around.”
“We’re throwing another party this week,” he says quickly. “If you’re interested.”
You give him a small smile and walk away with a knot in your stomach.
Later that night, as you lay in bed, reading, your phone buzzes with a bunch of notifications. You flip your phone over.
JOHNNY (@.johnsuh) has requested to follow you. Taeyong (@.tytrack) has requested to follow you. Lucas (@.wongyukhei) has requested to follow you. Ten (@.perfectten) has requested to follow you. Jisung (@.pwarkjisung) has requested to follow you. Jaemin (@.najaemin0813) has requested to follow you. jungwoo (@.jungwoogie) has requested to follow you.
There are fifteen other follow requests, you guess they’re all from all the NKT brothers. But two names stand out to you.
MARK (@.marklee99) has requested to follow you. YUTA (@.nakamotoyuta95) has requested to follow you.
You sit up in your bed abruptly and shoot a message to your sister.
You: sorry to bother you but what was the name of that frat guy in nkt that you hate?
She answers you pretty quickly. Yuta. Why??? DId you meet him?
You sigh and you’re about to press ‘decline’ to Yuta’s request, but instead your finger hovers over Mark’s request.
He just met a classmate for coffee, that doesn’t mean anything. Guys and girls were allowed to be friends. And besides, he’s not your boyfriend. He’s not your anything. You don’t know him, despite the fact that all the factoids from his frat brothers make you feel like you do.
You hit ‘accept.’
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THE FOURTH PITCH: YUTA
You bring Yuqi and Minjung to the party Mark told you about. You had already asked Yuqi to do you a giant favor and keep an eye on Minjung while you went to hang out with Mark and she agreed emphatically.
As you enter the frat house, Yuqi pushes you a little. “Go get your man!” Minjung shoots you a thumbs-up.
You stumble around the frat a little, bumping through the mass of people jumping and grinding to whatever rap track is playing. You spot familiar faces but only give them small waves if they see you. You’re on a mission to see Mark Lee.
Taeyong and Ten are on bar duties tonight, and you catch Taeyong’s eye immediately. “What can I get you?”
“Just two beers.”
“Two?” he asks with a raised eyebrow as he turns to the fridge. He pulls out two cans and asks, “Who’s this one for?”
“Take your best guess.”
Taeyong grins at you and nods approvingly, saying, “Mark’s either out back or still in his room, so I’d check either one of those places.”
“Where’s his room?”
“Upstairs, down the hall and it’s the second door on the left. You can’t miss it, it has a big sign that says ‘Keep out, Lee Donghyuck.’ He’s one of our—”
“I’m familiar with him,” you say. Taeyong gives you a look that’s half-curious, half-worried and you just say, “I’ll explain another time.”
You decide to head to the yard first, where Yukhei is doing a kegstand aided by Johnny. You scan the crowd for Mark, but only see his friends. You’re about to head back inside when the door swings open behind you and you knock into someone.
“Sorry,” he says and when you look up, you see the face of Nakamoto Yuta. You two stare at each other for a few seconds before he says, “You remind me of someone.”
You bite back some scathing remark and coolly ask, “Do I? Who?”
“Some girl I knew a few years back.”
You say your sister’s name and Yuta only looks mildly surprised and replies, “Yeah, that’s her. Sisters?”
You cross your arms and nod. “We are. I know what you did to her.”
Then it’s your turn to be surprised when Yuta looks perplexed by your statement. “What I did to her?”
“Do you really screw so many girls over that you can’t even remember what I’m talking about?”
Yuta’s eyes narrow at you. “Don’t make assumptions, you don’t know me. I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about. If anything, she fucked me over.”
“That’s ludicrous.”
Yuta rolls his eyes. “If you don’t want to believe me, you don’t have to, but I’m not going to stand here and argue with you about this.” He gives you another once over and says, “You’re the girl Mark likes, aren’t you?”
Despite your simmering anger, your heart skips a beat at the mention of Mark. You nod and Yuta says, “Johnny, Taeyong, and Donghyuck spoke pretty highly of you, but I’m finding all of it hard to believe right now.”
All you can do is scowl at him. Yuta sighs and says, “Look, Mark really, really likes you. It’s been kind of annoying, honestly, to hear about you twenty-four-seven in the house. My friends all said you were a good fit for Mark, and I trust their judgments given that this shitty interaction between us is from some misconception you have about what happened between me and your sister.”
“Where is this going, Yuta?”
“Mark’s one of my best friends. I don’t want whatever you think of me to color that.”
“It hasn’t.”
Yuta nods and motions back at the house. “Mark should be in his room. When you’re done making out with him or whatever, come find me and I’ll tell you what really happened between me and your sister.” He brushes past you, going to where there’s a crowd gathered around Johnny and Yukhei.
You go back inside. You’re unsettled by what Yuta told you. What could your sister have lied about and why would she? You walk up the stairs to the second floor of the frat, trying your best to remember Taeyong’s directions. A big sign that says, ‘Keep out, Lee Donghyuck.’
Mark’s door is open when you get there. Mark’s sitting on his bed and in his lap is your roommate, Sihyun.
As fucking cliché as it sounds, you drop the cans of beer. Mark’s head whips over at the sound and his eyes grow huge. He calls your name but you’re already bolting downstairs, cans forgotten. You pass Taeyong and Ten at the bar and don’t see the worried look they share with one another.
You find Yuqi and Minjung coming out of the bathroom together and you tell them, “I’m going to head back.”
“What? Why?” Minjung asks. “Did you talk to Mark?”
“No,” you say tersely. “He was preoccupied.”
Even over the music, you hear Mark yell your name again. Yuqi takes Minjung’s hand in hers and places her other one on your shoulder, navigating the three of you to the door.
You feel sick. You’re physically nauseous. You want to throw up.
Yuqi leads your trio in a power-walk-worthy pace, getting you back on campus in no time.
The back of your eyes are starting to sting with tears and your head is spinning. You ask Yuqi, “Can I crash at your dorm?”
Yuqi agrees without question and ushers you up to her dorm. She sits you down on her bed as the tears start to gather on your waterline.
“What happened?” Minjung asks softly. You tell them everything and as you do, it all makes sense to you now. This must have been some fucking sick, drawn-out joke planned by their frat — have one of the NKT brothers flirt with some unsuspecting girl and then crush her heart. There was probably a bet on it. Mark’s probably cashing in whatever reward he won, laughing with Sihyun as she sits on his lap.
Sihyun. You understand now why she was so nasty for the past week or so.
You wonder if Johnny, Taeyong, Donghyuck, and Yuta are all having some big fucking laugh with Mark and Sihyun at the frat.
Minjung looks as distressed as you feel and Yuqi looks like she’s about to punch the wall.
“This is what I get,” you say, “for trusting an NKT brother.”
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INTERLUDE
You reject all the NKT brothers’ follow requests on Instagram. You block Mark on the app and when you go to block his number, you realize that you don’t have it, which somehow makes you sadder.
You feel stupid, both for trusting the NKT frat and falling for their fake-nice bullshit but also for falling for a guy you barely knew anything about. Maybe you felt like you knew him because of all the things his friends told you about him. Maybe you just convinced yourself that you did because you wanted to.
Maybe you were just a fool.
Two weeks later, Mingi and Yunho try to get you to come to an ATZ frat party as a way of detoxing from the NKT one, but you decline. You don’t want to risk seeing any of them and you think that you’re done with Greek life forever.
You’re basically living at Yuqi’s dorm, ever so grateful that her roommate, Miyeon, is one of the loveliest people you’ve ever met and letting you invade their space for the time being until your room swap request is approved. You put it in two days after the incident after hearing Sihyun, very loudly, brag to her friend about what a good kisser Mark Lee is. She also kept giving you smug, self-satisfied looks that made you yearn for the days of her chilling glares.
You hated to admit how much you missed Mark. Despite your limited interactions, he wormed his way into your heart. You thought you had something, something that would lead somewhere. You thought you were special but now, you scoff at the thought.
It’s kind of awkward in your leadership seminar class, given that Johnny’s in it. He tried to talk to you the week following the party but gave up after you iced him out. He respected your personal space as well, sitting as far from you as he could. At least he looks somewhat guilty — maybe there is a conscious in his icy frat boy heart after all.
You’re taking a walk in the park by campus, headphones on and music blasting. Midterms season hit you like a truck and it’s been a constant slog of work. On top of the residual effects of the incident, your mind needs a break.
You don’t hear who’s calling your name until someone grabs your shoulder and slides your headphones off. You scream as your fight-or-flight instinct kicks in, your arm shooting forward to punch whoever hit you. You knock them squarely in their own shoulder and when you get a good look at your assailant, you practically growl, “What the fucking hell?”
“Okay, I admit, not the smartest thing to do. Sorry.”
Fucking Nakamoto Yuta.
You don’t answer him and snatch your headphones from his hand, going to put them back on when he shouts, “Wait!”
“Christ, what do you want?”
“I want to talk.”
“Not happening.”
“You’re talking to me right now.”
You glare at him but you don’t leave. Yuta says, “I know you’re probably thinking this was some cruel prank or something like that. But I just want to let you know that it wasn’t.” When you don’t say anything, he continues, “After that night that first time you came to one of our parties, Mark couldn’t stop talking about his really pretty beer pong partner and how stupid he was for not getting your number or asking you out right there. He honestly wasn’t even sure if you liked him too, so some of us came up with a plan that, whenever we had the chance, we’d tell you about Mark and try to gauge how you felt about him. He didn’t know about it and, in hindsight, it was kind of dumb but we were just trying to help him go out with someone he genuinely really liked.”
You stare at your shoes and Yuta says, “None of that was fake. And I still don’t know what the fuck happened with Mark and that other girl but I know that he sure as hell doesn’t like her.”
Your next question throws Yuta off. “Can you tell me what actually happened between you and my sister?”
“Did you listen to anything I said before?”
“I did, but I need to know about what happened with her in order to decide if I trust you on this.”
He sighs, “Fair enough. The long and short of it is that I was a new pledge in NKT when I was a freshman and your sister was a junior in Kappa Delta. We talked a couple of times at parties, I thought she was nice but I wasn’t looking for anything serious since I had just broken up with my high school girlfriend before coming to college but I guess she read more into it. When I turned her down, she got really upset and said that I led her on and gaslit her and spread all these rumors about me being emotionally manipulative.” Yuta runs a hand down his face. “It was a hard freshman year for me and if it weren’t for the guys, I don’t think I would have gotten through it as successfully as I did. So that’s the story. Do you believe me?”
You consider what he said for a moment. Now that you think about it, your sister’s story always did seem to have gaping holes in it. Moreover, she was never really good at taking rejection, given that she was the favored child between the two of you.
“I do.”
Yuta looks a little shocked but he nods, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Okay.”
You stand there in silence for a beat longer and he says, “Will you go talk to Mark now? He’s kind of a wreck right now.”
“Right now?”
“If that works for you.”
You nod and you and Yuta walk out of the park and down towards Greek row. He lets you both into the NKT house. It’s weird to see it in the daytime but— “It’s much cleaner than I thought it would be.” There are even nice paintings and artwork hung up on the walls that seemed to have been hidden under the red and blue lights NKT lit their house in during parties.
Yuta snickers, “Yeah, Taeyong and Kun are kind of neat freaks so they make sure we clean after all parties.” He has you go ahead of him upstairs and you’re standing in front of Mark’s door.
You turn to Yuta. “I’m not sure—”
“Mark!” He bangs on the door.
“Yuta, go away! I’m not in the mood to cuddle.”
You shoot a glance at Yuta, who’s unbothered and undeterred and he says, “There’s a visitor for you.”
More quietly, Mark grumbles, “I swear, if it’s Sihyun again, I’m actually going to kill you for letting her in.”
“As if I would do that.” Yuta opens Mark’s door before Mark can and shoves you inside, slamming it behind him. Now, Mark’s room is what you think of when you think of a frat house. There’s clothes slung all over the furniture, shoes in weird places, and take-out containers covering the desk. And Mark looks… rough. He’s still in his pajamas and it seems like hasn’t shaved in the past two weeks, if the five-o’clock shadow was anything to go off of.
Mark stares at you, as if he can’t believe you’re there and the rawness of his expression breaks your heart a little. He notices you looking around the room and says weakly, “I would have tidied up if I knew I had a guest. Not that I think you’re judging me or anything. And not that I have a ton of guests that need me to tidy up, it’s mostly just friends of mine who know how messy frat houses can get and—”
“It’s okay, Mark.”
His mouth snaps shut and he says, “I’m so sorry about the party a few weeks ago.”
You lean against his door and cross your arms. “I just need to know, Mark. All your friends kept hyping you up to me, Yuta even told me flat out that you liked me. I need to know if that was real, if any of it was real.”
“It was all real,” Mark says. “Everything I felt—feel—for you is real. I’ve honestly never felt this way since, well, this is the first time, really. I know we don’t know each other well, but I know there’s something here. A connection.” He looks at you with those dark, doe-eyes and says, “I really like you.”
You bite your lip. “And what about Sihyun? What was that about?”
“Jeez,” Mark groans, dragging a hand through his hair. “I’ve met her a few times at parties, she was always kind of touchy but I guess… I didn’t really think it would go anywhere. Then, she invited me to coffee with her — that’s the friend I was meeting when I ran into you — and I think she read into it a lot. And there was the party and I was in my room getting ready to— well, it doesn’t matter — but I was in my room and she comes in and tell me that someone spilled their drink on her dress and because I was the only one she really knew well at the party, she wanted to know if she could borrow something and when I said yes, she sort of climbed on top of me and told me she liked me and then you walked in and… and you ran off and I pushed her off and tried to go after you—”
“Right,” you say. You know the rest of the story. “So, you’re not into Sihyun.”
Mark shakes his head. “I never was and especially not now.” He makes a face and you laugh a little. Mark relaxes and laughs with you too, and you remember how much you like his laugh.
“What were you getting ready to do in your room?” you ask.
“Sorry?”
“You said that you were still in your room, getting ready to do something, when Sihyun walked in. What was it?”
“Oh.” Mark blushes a little. “I was going to ask you on a date. I was going to ask if you wanted to go to the restaurant a few blocks from here.”
“The one with the really good burgers?”
“Yeah, that one.”
You check your phone time and say, “I could go for a burger now.”
Mark perks up. “Seriously?”
You smile at him. “Yeah.”
“Okay! Cool! Yeah, um—” Mark glances down at himself. “Let me just put on some real clothes and shave and then we can go?”
“Sounds perfect.” As you turn to wait outside the door, you say, “Mark?”
“Yeah?”
“I really like you too.”
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SIX MONTHS LATER: YOUR QUESTION
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve called you all here,” you say, eyeing the five men at the table.
“I’m on the edge of my seat,” Johnny says, sliding forward on his chair. You roll your eyes and Donghyuck and Taeyong laugh.
Yuta says, “I assume it has something to do with Mark.”
“Correct. Points to Yuta.”
“Hey! You didn’t say we were getting points,” Donghyuck says, pouting.
“Is it about him winning that writing competition?” Jaehyun asks.
“Exactly. See, Jaehyun, this is why you’re my favorite.” Jaehyun chuckles, the dimples in his cheeks deepening. Mark introduced you to Jaehyun a couple of weeks after you started dating and it’s safe to say that you became fast friends. Along with the other men in the room, Jaehyun is a self-proclaimed Mark expert, hence the group meeting.
“What present would he like?” you ask. “I’m trying to convey ‘Congrats on winning this competition’ and also ‘I love you.’”
The five of them stare at you and Taeyong grin, barely hiding the giddiness in his voice. “You’re going to tell him you love him?”
You nod and your friends cheer. Donghyuck says, “You could give Mark a rock and he’d love it because it’s you.”
“I’m not giving him a rock, Donghyuck.”
“What about a nice journal or something like that?” Johnny suggests.
“That’s an idea, but I want to make it special.”
Everyone is quiet for a minute but then Yuta says, “I have the perfect idea.”
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Mark holds your hand as you stroll through the park after having a nice dinner at the same restaurant you had your first date. “Can we sit?” you ask him, pointing at the bench.
“Sure!”
The two of you take a seat and you turn to him, saying, “I want to say again how proud of you I am for winning that competition.”
Mark waves you off. “Babe, I already told you it’s not that big a deal.”
“Baby, it’s one of the most competitive competitions out there!” Mark flushes with embarrassment and you laugh, leaning over to kiss him. He cups your cheek and pulls you closer, and you want to stay like that forever but you reluctantly pull away to continue speaking. “I got you something.”
Mark’s eyes widen. “You didn’t have to!”
“I wanted to.” You reach into your bag and pull out his present, wrapped into brown paper and tried neatly with string.
Mark gingerly unties it and gawks at the notebook. “This is real leather,” he says, running his hand over the cover. He looks at you worriedly. “This must have cost you so much! You really didn’t have to—”
“I told you that I wanted to and you deserve it. Open it up.”
Mark opens it and reads the inscription you got printed inside.
My dearest, Mark, Congratulations on winning the writing competition! After many sleepless nights, your hard work paid and I’m so proud of you. You work hard every day to do your best every day, whether it be at school or at work or for us, you do everything with all of yourself and it’s one of the many, many things that I love about you.
Our start was definitely unconventional but even through that, the connection we felt was still stronger than whatever threatened to sever it. It’s been six months since we started dating and I couldn’t be happier. Every day, I wake up and am thankful for you.
I’ll write it here first before I say it: I love you, Mark Lee.
His mouth lifts into a grin and he looks up at you with sparkling eyes. You say to him, “I love you, Mark Lee.”
He ghosts his fingers over the same words in print. Then, he leans close to you and softly and shyly murmurs, “I love you too.”
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fallencelsetial · 15 days
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quastion. if you had to give each of the nu carnival guys a present, what would you give to each one? oh and let's assume monies aren't a problem here
To answer your Quastion. If Monies are not an issue, and I can just the boys whatever the hell I want, then-
Eiden: I'm getting this boy every single craft supply I can think of. Fabrics, yarns, tule, buttons, clays, pen, pencils. I'm getting him everything. He's so friggin talented and just an artsy boy. He'd definitely have an etsy or two on the side of his actual job.
Aster: You didn't say the presents had to be objects. Plus Asters got SO MUCH MONEY. Boy could get anything he wanted at any time. Hell. He's the clan sugar daddy. If I was getting him a gift, it would definitely be something practical. And Honestly, I'd probably just get him more staff. He's got so many things he's running, I'm sure he'd really appreciate the help, and especially, that he's not the one paying for it.
Morvay: Similarly to Aster, I wouldn't really get Morvay an object. What I would get him though, is food. He's a bit of a greedy boy. He's always getting yelled at by aster for sneaking out and feeding, and constantly getting overworked. I think he deserves a place where he can relax and indulge in his favorite things. I'm sure there's some club out there that has membership option and would allow him to just go ham.
Yakumo: Cooking tools seems too easy. I'm sure he's already got everything he needs. You know what? I'm actually gonna get him some alone time with Eiden. I'm getting them a vacation together. I'm gonna send him and Eiden off somewhere real private. Do you know how happy he'd probably be? Boy is so possessive. He'd be OVER THE MOON about having Eiden all to himself for like a week. And I'm sure Eiden would be happy about spending time with him too. Gross honeymooning ass bitches.
Edmond: I'm getting him all the porn and sweets he wants. Just because I know he's gonna be a bitch about it. I would know. I'm the same. "No, I'm not allowed to get this. People will look at me weird if I get that" and Now look at me. I have a whole shelf full of those books. I'm getting him all of it AND, He didn't spend any of his money on it so he can't feel ashamed about it. It was gifts. Now go. Be free.
Olivine: I saw a post somewhere about Oli not having any of his own clothes and how they would take him on a shopping spree and honestly same. And I'd help him pick out the sluttiest, most rebellious clothes possible. I was raised catholic. I know. I know how hard it is. We're going to get you so many things with Religious undertones so it feels safe, AND like you're breaking the rules at the same time.
Quincy: Gosh. He's such a simple dude. All forest man and shit. He probably would not accept anything that would make his life easier. Any more modern versions of tools he already uses would probably be rejected with a "This one works fine/better anyway" Getting a bunch of treats for topper might make him happy though. Actually might just get him something SUPER dad coded. Like a Flask/Canteen. Probably would say he doesn't need it, but would secretly use it anyway.
Kuya: We're getting him all the dumb weird shit. Mans has a collection of dumb weird shit. He's like Blade. Anything he finds intriguing he just keeps. I'm getting this man an old beat up Bakugan. "Check it out. It's opens when you place it on this card but ONLY on this card!" Do you know how psyched he would be??? He's so fucking simple. I'm getting him those boxes that show one character in one window, and another character on the other window.
Garu: I don't think he can have too many toys. I'm getting him so many more toys than what Eiden has already gotten him. Lots of meat too. Oh! And I'm getting him art supplies as well! His art fills me with joy. I love him.
Karu: ALRIGHT. I'm giving him play time. I'm buying/building him a whole play set. He wants to be ruler of everything and I am going to give him that. I am going to spoil the shit outta this puppy. I will get him his own little throne room. He's getting his own little kingdom where he is king, and EVERYONE BOWS TO HIM! He's also getting so much meat too. All Hail the Mighty Karu!!
Blade: I'm also getting him art supplies. Art supplies and Books! If we can find some that he hasn't read yet. Honestly the library is massive. Oooooh but if we go to a book store, there's bound to be new releases of something, and he'll read anything just to have read it, I'm sure he'd really appreciate that!
Dante: A vacation mother fucker. Shut up. Listen Child. I Don't want to hear it. Spa now. Break. Rest. Relaxation. Think of NOTHING. You know what? I'mma throw Eiden in there too. He'd probably help you a lot. Just like how Eiden would be a good part of the gift, for Yakumo, I feel the same goes for him as well. And also, Lots of gifts for Sooley.
Rei: Therapy. Notebooks. Lot's of notebooks. Replacement's for any Equipment he's broken. Some art supplies. Mostly charcoals for his sketches. All practical stuff too. I'd offer to fix some of his personal items, but...I think he prefers them dinged up and broken. Has a bit of a comfort in that. So the supplies would probably be most appreciated by him.
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brisquad-unit-4402 · 1 month
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crimzon ruze dating an artist
i’m gonna be real the hate mail stream changed me as a person
yhis one is about ruze and a reader that likes to make visual art, but if this gets some reception might be interested in writing more headcanons for writers, musicians, programmers, dancers…
tags: gender neutral reader, established relationship, fluff, headcanons
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
let’s get it out of the way: ruze isn’t just a viciously violent mercenary menace, he’s also a viciously violent mercenary menace that ✨ loves creativity ✨
he respects people that can use their imagination, like inventing new horrific ways to kill a corruption beast, or making someone’s day worse in a way that can’t be replicated
so naturally he gravitates to people who put their imagination to use through their own art medium. he has a type for creators
one of the best feelings ever is being able to watch an artist in their element, focused on their vision
there’s always so much to admire. their hands wrapped around the pencil, the way they squint and stare at the lines… he could go on
if he’s really lucky maybe the artist will move around while drawing a character, just so they can use their own body as reference. it’s so cute seeing them lift a hand and compare it to the one they were drawing, even the pout they do when they erase the last few strokes, all frustrated but ready to try again. especially the pout
he doesn’t do the whole “talking about your feelings” thing so when he sees a well-done drawing, well, that just makes admitting it all the more redundant. who needs words when a picture is worth a thousand of them?
ruze himself isn’t exactly an artist, but he’s tried before. it’s tough work. anyone that can control their pen that well deserves respect
if you’re an artist and your love language is quality time then dating ruze is a dream. he’ll do work in the same room as you while you’re preoccupied with your latest piece
it’s just the right amount of togetherness, but you’re able to do your own thing, and so is he. this feeling gets even better with banter, music, anything
he doesn’t mention it often but ruze also likes to work with his hands too. his favorite is papercrafting
you’re the only one in the world that knows he has a diy scrapbook full of photos and embellishments and, yes, some of your doodles and scrapped art you let him keep
always wants to display your art in some way. it’s personal and makes him feel like his house is a little livelier
if you need more space or expensive supplies for your art like a firing kiln, large canvases, pressure pots, or other equipment, then he’ll drop off the face of the earth for, like, a week, then come back with a bounty collected and a cut of it for your art fund
ruze likes the challenge of hunting down and fighting a fearsome monster, and how you brighten up as you plan a visit to a local craft store
he likes to ask questions about what you’re working on. this can be anything from art history to oc lore to symbolism to techniques
it makes especially good conversation at night when he’s about to go to bed with you
…there have definitely been times ruze was the first to sleep because you got hit with inspiration at 1 am though
it would be hypocritical if he were to make you rest, but just don’t overdo it and wake up cranky past your alarm, alright?
and do some stretches, including your hands, and your back. you’re literally dating someone who uses his muscle to make money. you better be treating your body nicely while you’re making art
you should be getting accidental paper cuts, not carpal tunnel because SOMEONE didn’t stick their arms straight out and bend their wrists back while keeping their fingers straight for 10 seconds, then bend their wrists down to the floor for another 10 seconds. not naming names
the type of mf that will sneak up and make some form of sudden physical contact (a kiss? bite? lick? annoying poke to your side?) so your back straightens and then tells you to keep it straight instead of giving you more affection
would NEVER respond to someone talking about their art with “can you draw me?”
that’s probably his greenest flag actually
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi
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partiallyderived · 10 months
Text
-ˋˏ pens, pop, and potential love interests ˎˊ (kjh)
Summary: You lend the cute guy in class a pen.
Pairing: Kum Junhyeon x GN!Reader
Word Count: 683 words
Warning(s): None.
A/N: My dudes, this is crack. I haven't published anything since 2021 and my writing skills need honing, but enjoy. Also, like many college students, I am sleep deprived. The Pop in the title refers to soda. I'm going to edit this when I'm less sleep deprived. There will be an extended cut.
It begins with Pepsi.
Or, rather, it begins with a pen — a good, well-used Maxwriter in blue, which everyone knows is the best type of pen for taking notes; cheap but not cheap.
When you first meet him, his hair is dyed brown. In the light, it doesn’t look like coffee or strong tea or oak or chestnut; it looks like the toffees of your childhood, the ones your grandparents pressed into your hands with each visit.
His name is Kum Junhyeon — nineteen years old, three months older than you and leagues apart in confidence and popularity; the apple of the seniors’ eyes — and he sits behind you in your nine a.m. Biomolecules lecture. He laughs like a thundercloud and makes jokes that make even the strictest of professors smile, and maybe, just maybe, you are a little infatuated with him.
Because it can’t be anything else when he taps you on the shoulder and you freeze.
Caught like a deer in headlights when all the poor boy wants is a pen because his ran out of ink.
What you remember of the exchange is that you thrust your pencil pouch at him — all six pens, four pencils and two highlighters worth of it. You fumble a little in the middle — the angle is awkward, and the next table is placed just a bit higher than the one in front of it — and he has to grab onto the pouch so it doesn’t spill onto the floor, which means he has to grab onto your hands, which means your hands jolt like a kick-started engine, which means —
“Oh my god I like him?!”
Esha from Psychology, first year like yourself, has no sympathy. She’s taken to your life as if it were a drama made specially for her, and even now, she lounges on her bed like a queen, popping jelly beans into her mouth while you have a fun little breakdown on your side of the room.
“But like,” she says once the jelly beans have run out, “he’s cute, right?”
“The cutest. I hate it. My heart goes all wonky when I’m around him, and he didn’t even give me my pen back.”
//
He’s there early in your next class, dressed in a hoodie and jeans pulled so low that you have to tell yourself to avert your eyes. He looks sheepish.
You slide into the seat beside him instead of the one in front of him. A test of courage, but also because you want your pen back.
He does not have the pen. He lost the pen. He is not sheepish because of the pants; he’s sheepish because he has to tell you he lost your pen.
But Junhyeon is quick to clarify, “But it’s not that I lost it, (Name). More like, I don’t know, someone stole it from me. I swear!”
The story goes that he went to submit his work to the teacher and left the pen in the Biochemistry lab. When he came back five minutes later, the pen was gone.
“It was a good pen! The best pen! I’ve never held a better pen in my life!” Junhyeon tells you, and you believe him, because Maxwriters are good pens. And it’s fine! You can always buy another one, but you really liked that pen.
Rest in Peace, Maxwriter. Sacrificed for some guy. You were a real one.
///
Honestly, you think it’s a forgotten thing. The Professor came in before you could respond, but you had flashed him a thumbs up and gone about your business, and he hadn’t really said anything else during class, so that was that.
And then, in the canteen, when you and Esha have finally managed to get a simultaneous free period, one of the guys from Physics sets a bottle of Pepsi in front of you. Taped to the condensation, barely holding on for dear life like your sanity, is a sticky note that says I’m sorry for losing your pen. :( We should totally go out to buy another pack together - Junhyeon.
Boys are so stupid. He didn’t even write his number down.
Taglist: @daintydongyoung @zerobaseonefics @urielphix @incorrectzbone @i520u
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teddyeyeseddie · 8 months
Text
Never Let It Drop
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★ Eddie x Reader
★ CW: Drug Use, Marijuana, the death of a cart, a funeral
★ A/N: I wrote this for my beloved @lofaewrites when she mentioned she needed a funeral for her cart preached by Eddie Munson. Thus ensued. I really hope you enjoy it my lovely darling lo, I love you to the moon and back <3)
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Eddie went through all the rules when he bought you your first pen, something he had gifted you when you complained of aches and pains that seemed to plague you on the daily. 
There weren’t many, just the basic “be careful” and “call me if you need me” sort of direction. But the one, golden rule Eddie really hammered home- never let it drop. 
“Yeah- Never let it drop- Carts are glass, it would be a real shame to drop one and send 40 dollars down the drain,”  he mumbles as he screws the cart into your new device. 
He takes a few puffs from it, testing it out before offering it to you. You inevitably cough, Eddie coaching you on how to hit it, finally giving up and hitting the pen himself. 
He leans over, lips ghosting yours as he exhales the smoke into your mouth. It’s easier to tolerate this way, the smoke not as hard on your throat and lungs. 
You eventually get the hang of it, confidently taking puffs on your own.
You felt a little like a baby stoner, watching Eddie power through a blunt and seem unfazed had your mind thoroughly fucked, the man was like a freight train.
A few hits off the pen? You were good for a good while. Eddie loved it though, loved how you giggled more and rambled about things important to you- and he loved how cheap it was to smoke you out. 
You’re in Eddie’s trailer one evening, waiting for him to get home from work, Wayne long gone as he went on a date Eddie had set him up on. 
You’re relaxed on his bed, notebook in hand as you finish up your English 2040 homework.. You’d had classes all morning so you hadn’t seen Eddie all day, so to say you were excited when you heard the front door open was an understatement. You hop up from your place on the bed, pencil and papers flying as you practically run to the front door.
You round the corner, peeking out the hallway and standing in the kitchen.
“Hi peaches,” he muses, smiling widely when he sees you.
“Kiss me like you miss me?” you mumble sweetly, shifting from foot to foot.
“Well c’mere,” he holds his arms out, you launching yourself into them, allowing yourself to be held by the man as he leans down to catch your lips in a sweet kiss. 
“You able to hold down the fort without me?” he questions as he makes his way past you and towards the kitchen- not before he places another soft kiss to your forehead. 
You nod sweetly, mouth turning upwards into a soft smile while you watch Eddie pull his tin lunch box in front of him. He looks over at you, playfully rolling his eyes when he realizes you’re stoned. 
“Been hittin’ the pen?” he questions as he transfers some bud into his grinder, looking back up at you with a cheeky smile on his face.
“Don’t make fun of me Eds, know how easy it is to get me high,” he gets up from his place at the kitchen table, pulling you into him and looking down at you.
“Baby- Peaches, I’d never,” he feigns the heartbreak, his hand on his chest as if you had actually wounded him.
“Go get out of your stinky clothes, I’ll start dinner,” you playfully smack his chest, he ignores it and leans down and kisses you anyways. 
He retreats to the bedroom, coveralls slung low on his hips as he makes his way into your shared bedroom. 
You hear Eddie suck in a breath through his teeth, a dramatic little thing he does when something not that serious happens. You roll your eyes as you turn to the cupboards to find something to cook Eddie. 
“Peaches- what did I tell you was the first rule of having a pen? I found this on the floor” he states, hands on his hip as he holds the now shattered cart and luckily okay pen in his hand. 
“Fuuuuuck- Eddie I am so sorry- I-I’ll buy us a new cart, I just got paid. I know you like to use it when we are out and you can't smoke real bud-” he cuts you off. 
“Babe- Baby it’s okay,” he rushes out, digging in his lunchbox and pulling out a fresh new cart. 
“Knew this was gonna happen- kept a spare for when it broke or ran out,” you smile up at him, a wave of relief washing over you when you realize he wasn’t mad at you for breaking something so expensive. 
“But first-” he fake sniffles, retreating to his bedroom and returning with a small matchbox, placing the cart inside and offering a salute as he places it on the table. 
“We must lay him to rest-” Eddie states matter of factly, “We had a good man die, we can’t just let him go to the trash,” 
You giggle, the weed coursing through your body making the whole thing that much funnier.
He marches to the front door, handing you one of his jackets as he heads outside with a spoon, a spoon. 
He digs in the dirt by the front door, luckily unthawed from the cold winter you had just had. He forms a perfect little hole to place the matchbox inside, setting it inside and wiping a fake tear from his eye before covering the box with the dirt he had just dug up. 
“Any words?” he questions as he gets up from his place on the ground, dirt covering his knees and palms of his hands. 
“You-You were good to me. Always got me high and gave me some of the most mind blowing sex-” 
“Heyyyyy-“ Eddie pouts, “I’m the one giving you mind blowing sex,” 
You roll your eyes, grabbing his hand in the process and tugging him back into the warm trailer.
“Come on, dinner isn’t gonna cook itself,” 
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arcadekitten · 9 months
Note
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Hello Arcadekitten!!! I read the Stellamb wedding post(s) and it got me wondering about how Stella’s wedding dress would look like… I absolutely love Sweet No Death, so I knew I had to make some artwork of it!! And, because I absolutely suck at explaining things through text, here is my interpretation of Stella’s wedding outfit in traditional art! ✨💫🌟
Materials Used: Mixed Media Paper, Ink Fineliner Pens, Alcohol Markers Gel Pens, Paint Pens, Highlighter and Mechanical Pencil
Time Took: 1 week
I don’t know if you’re okay with people sending fanarts and stuff to you, but I absolutely love your work and well, I’m quite proud of this piece (even if I probably shouldn’t be lol) as I worked extremely hard on this and wanted to share it with you! I hope that’s okay ❤️
A little artist “#Deep Dive tm” because I put WAY too much effort into the tiniest details and I am NOT gonna let them get overlooked 😤 /jk
-Stella’s dress is made with her signature colors rather than white, because I felt that with her being a Star Witch and all, a species that mostly has extravagantly colorful clothes (in my humble opinion) she felt that just going with plain white on what is possibly the most important day of her life would feel… well, a bit redundant, so she opted for a more ‘colored’ ballgown, with lacy gloves and a pearled veil and all. The local tailor and dressmaker is a bit confused, but Lambchop is definitely not complaining! ;) 💕💓
-(Well, that, and I also felt that the color blended WAY too much with her skin tone and changed it, but that’s my little secret hehe 👀😉)
-In my mind, Stella can make her hair look like it has a small galaxy within it! With actual moving stars and little twinkling lights. ✨💫✨⭐️🌟I think that she usually saves it for special, grandiose occasions, buuut since she’s not the kind of person who would THROW a grand, special occasion, she never unveiled it before her wedding day! (Poor Lambchop’s heart nearly gave out on the spot right then and there! 😭❤️)
-I didn’t add her usual Star hair clip because she already has like… 10 stars in her design already lmao /lh ⭐️
-As you can see, her bouquet’s… cloth? Fabric? I’m not sure what to call it… thing? The stuff that her flowers are wrapped in are Lambchop’s colors! Thought that it would be a neat visual detail… also, I can totally imagine Stella requesting that specific color scheme from the local florist! 💐🌷🌸
-Speaking of flowers… I decided to color in one of the moon daisies a little bit… differently hehe ;) It’s a small reference to the beginning of the game, where we see Stella change the color of the one rebellious moon daisy, from orange to lavender, except this time… she keeps it and uses it in her bouquet! 💖💗
-I like to think that it symbolizes Lambchop versus the rest of the townspeople… and Stella’s way of acknowledging him as a “real person”, at least compared to the others… one who is different, one who is unique… the one that she’s going to marry 💍🩷
-(it’s so absolutely sappy when she tells him so that he just couldn’t resist kissing her right then and there)
-And finally… (this is the last one I promise) I cut out the entire drawing to make it look like a potion bottle, partially because Stella is a witch, and partially because I had this cute lil idea that she stores all of her happiest memories into a magical bottle and takes it out whenever she feels sad, so that she can ‘experience’ it again and feel happier. Of course, with Lambchop by her side, she never really has to use it!💞🩷💗
-And yes, I also made the bottle have Lambchop colors as well 🐏 Just a nice little thing tying em together more visually… ❤️
…And I am SO SORRY for ranting!!! I worked incredibly hard on this piece (traditional art is NOT my strong suit, lol) but I wanted to make something special for one of my favorite games and one of my favorite game devs! So here it is, and I hope that you like it! 🤞❤️😁
(P.S: Any ideas for Lambchop’s wedding design?)
Oh my goodness this is BEAUTIFUL!! The artwork itself is just stunning!! You took so much time on it and it really shows, especially with all your attention to detail in it(and I LOVE hearing your explanations for some of the choices you made!! They're just so darling!) Everything about this is stellar and I'm in love with it, thank you so much!! ♡ ♡ ♡
Also I TOTALLY AGREE Stella would not wear white for her wedding!! Color all the way!! ♡
As for Lambchop's outfit...I think I've got it envisioned in my head but I haven't quite drawn anything for it yet! Top hat, definitely. I think his suit isn't black. Probably brown! Bowtie on the neck. His pants are more like shorts and are cut juuuuust above the knee! Still wearing long socks with garters. He looks incredibly dapper--as he should!! It's his wedding!
Hopefully he at least looks good for the photos before he decides to get any mysterious red stains on his outfit. (It's fine. Stella could clean them with the snap of her fingers, but still!)
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emilylorange · 1 year
Note
I was just wondering what brushes and programs do you use? Also I see your a fan of WoW or something? Your banner looks like the Draenei world! Either way, just found you today and I'm in love with your art! I too am trying to break into the Video Game Industry!
At this point I've moved 98% of my workflow to Clip Studio Paint (I use the PRO version that's $50 or $25 if you catch it on sale, which is often), with an old, non-subscription version of Photoshop to do some of the technical file adjustments that CSP hasn't quite implemented yet or is haltingly slow at.
For the most part the brushes are CSP defaults, with slight adjustments to the default sliders depending on what I want.
For my painter-style: Thick Paint - Gouache For cel-style: Marker - Felt Pen For sketchy marks: Pen - Real G Pen For particles: Airbrush - Droplet and Thick Paint - Pointalism For texture: Pencil - Real pencil
But now the fun stuff, right? Most brushes that work for Photoshop can be imported into CSP with little to no fiddling, unless they have very fancy effects on them Plants/Buildings: FREE Brush sets from Tamberella https://tamberella.gumroad.com/ Linework: FREE 'Lineart for Comics', in this pack https://www.deviantart.com/robot-h3ro/art/Hero-Artistic-Brushes-Photoshop-V3-705781546 Glitter/Polygon shapes: This FREE brush set in the CSP store https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1855164
Halftones: 12 halftone Texture brushes for $10 (honestly if you google search for them you can probably find something identical for free, i'm pretty sure this pack used to be :/) https://blog.spoongraphics.co.uk/premium/12-halftone-texture-brushes-adobe-photoshop
Also yes I've mostly been playing WoW classic after Shadowlands was uh.... Shadowlands. I hear the new expansion is good but I don't know anyone left who still plays so I have not been lured into it yet.
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Anyway! Thanks for the note, best of luck in your own artistic travels <3
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fly-sky-high-09 · 1 month
Note
HII I’m not sure if this is the right blog but I’m so curious about how you color artwork, like what brushes you use, I really love your style and have thought about taking some inspiration from it
Hi! :D This is fine, I'll reblog it to my art blog so it can be easier to find, no worries.
I'm not the type that uses too many different brushes! I ended up comfortable with just a single brush for most of my work unless the style calls for something else (like soft look of Rain World, which I did a little step by step for here~)
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The main brush I use for just about everything is Design Brush. I use it for sketching, I use it for lineart and I use it to add shadows and highlights! I also like to mess with the backgrounds with it
I got hooked to Real G-pen recently for fun lines and texture! Opaque watercolor is what I use for soft rendering like slugcats~ Gouche is very fun to paint with also because of the texture! I haven't used in awhile tho. Light running ink is what I use for smokey effects, clouds, stuff like that! I love the brush! And uh... the last brush is called *checks the source* Nouchika Square Brush. It's free! It's square! It's new to me! very fun to use!
Details about the steps with Design pencil:
After sketching, I basically just lineart with the same brush in a different layer (or multiple of them, if needed!). Once done, I also duplicate the lineart layer to make the previous a little sharper, since depending on the pressure the brush can be faint or very strong, which will come in handy with colors later!
Single layer VS doubled:
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Next, for easy color in, I select the areas outside of lineart, invert selection and even shrink it by 1 pixel. Then, I color the new layer bellow lineart flat with one base (in this case, Koromon's pinkish color)
Above it, I hand fill other colors and yes, there are probably easier ways to do that but I am way to used to the hard way XD Note that I rely on this: Hold CTRL and click on base color layer to select everything in that layer, then make a layer and color within that, so I don't cross the border/lines.
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I usually lock layers for the next part but you can also just make a new layer above.
Use gradient tool (with which ever options) and select colors that are slightly shifted in hue and saturation from the base color picked one and toss in a bit of gradient shadow and highlight in each locked color!
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Remember, color picker is your best friend ever to befriend in any art program! it will help you find hues in this gradient you can work with to add to the shape while doing the simple render!
Now, I use the same brush still but I change sizes depending on which area I'm going to go across. Nice part about it is the aforementioned pressure that can apply less or more color depending on how much you press down. I go with the light strokes over first and then stronger ones above! you can get softer shading this way! Same with highlight~ If something feels off somewhere, color pick the nearest hue and stroke the mistake away~ You can do the same if you want to use any present hue in another part of the figure
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after that's done, I then tend to put another layer and select Overlay option on it to add at least a little bit more shadow or highlight (I chose highlight in this case). There is no background for this drawing so I figured it would be nice to add a little bit of cold colors to the warm ones Koromon is made of.
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You can play with other layer options or even edit and color adjustments like tone curve, color balance and brightness/contrast, with any color layer! I do it a lot actually~
You add some extras if you want and you're done~
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There is not much to it, so I use this for a simple style commission!
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pup-pee · 6 months
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*presents u my dick grayson hcs like ur @ my garage sale* (dick hcs #1?)
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♡ this
♡ hes a passenger princess(no this is cannon whoopsie)
♡ dick is like the first girl 2 b killed in a slaughter movie, but just as a 27-ish yr old adult man
♡ draws on a beauty mark in a different spot everytime & gaslights any1 who asks about it -"hey wasnt ur beauty mark under ur other eye?" -"idk i cant see my own face"
♡ hes always losing his hairties bc he keeps shooting them @ ppl -& rubberbands 4 that matter
♡ we dont talk about the skin grip example -it involves a lot of falling & a lot of crashing -if ykyk
♡ dick usually has a twix in his pocket, but in order 2 get it u have 2 guess if its a left or right twix -he also respectfully keeps the left twin in his left pocket & the right twix in the right pocket
♡ he never believed in santa claus but is terrified that watermelon will grow inside him if he swallows the seeds
♡ not rlly a hc but hes vry mcdonals girl toy coded
♡ says "fuck it we ball" b4 jumping in2 a drug ring
♡ the hardest hes laughed in a while was @ a bucket falling over
♡ "masculine but in a peacock way" quotes,,,,,
♡ makes hot chocolate in a pot -refuses 2 make it in a mug it HAS 2 b done on the stove or its not the same
♡ knows how to do his make-up but doesnt know the name of the product he uses -foundation? no thats just my face paint
♡ if u ask him 2 draw, hell say "i cant even draw a straight line!"
♡ dick; *pulls out sticker sheet* *puts mlp sticker some1s face*
♡ swallowed grapes/blue berries whole as a kid bc he didnt know better -didnt chew them*
♡ dicks fav turtle is leo
♡ fixates on tinkering w/his bits & bots
♡ wears crocs -"y do u wear crocs?" -dick; kicks in their direction so the croc hits theyre face
♡ eyeballs measurements(like cooking) -until it comes 2 clothes, then its ultra mega super duper whopper popper deluxe edition focus
♡ h8s grippy socks -the textures weird + attracts halys hair(as if all socks wouldnt but-) -prolly h8s socks in gen
♡ had 2 have snorted pixie stick as a kid -i am such a believer that every kid has done this so he will 2 -as a dare @ LEAST
♡ when hes angry he plops 1 of those sweet cough drops in his mouth 2 chew on just so that he doesnt go off -any hard candy works 2 -he needs 1 of those chewie chewables
♡ biting/chewing hcs bc it needs a separate category @ this point -keeps chewing on earbuds -h8s biting his nails actually -no pen or pencil or eraser is safe -loves biting but h8s when his food is 2 chewy/has 2 bite harder than usual -has more than 1nce caught himself about 2 chew on electrical wire -bites ppl he loves 2 show appreciation/love nom -(i will defend this goddamn hc till the day i die)
♡ pizza bagels -if ur confused, come see me after class
♡ titans have basically banned horror movies from movie nights bc dick would complain about the gore/physics/traps/mo/literally anything 'inaccurate' -"dick its just a movie" "U DONT UNDERSTAND."
♡ has the most social media followers out of batfam but only posts 1nce a month(sometimes not) -its just a picture of his half eaten cereal captioned "beautiful day today"
♡ titians walked in on him doing a backbend & thought some1 murdered him(not 4 vry long though cause oviously he was alive i just like the thought of some1 like roy when he 1st joined the team walking in & doing the most dramatic gasp ever)
♡ listen, i like contortionist dick -its fun & silly
♡ takes 'cringe' as a compliment
♡ "ur mature 4 ur age!" dick; "let me fix that real quick"
♡ hair grows vry quickly
♡ h8s functioning labels(i mean we all should but yk)
♡ skilled in bingo
♡ over buys treats 4 haly -& toys
♡ insane internal clock -kinda ties in; tells ppl specific times -"meet me @ 2;37 pm" as an example
♡ comic sans enjoyer(literally stole from ttg but shhhhhh)
♡ more invested in presidential gay love affairs than WW1 or 2
♡ hes about yay high
♡ hyperfixates on languages istg
i literally could go on 4ever bc my brain is that highway in germany but i wont i regret nothing
pt 2 <- if i make 1 lol
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Unsaid-Marius/Armand(Armand's perspective)
Trying to express my feelings openly again, without masks, as I once did, was the first ostracism that formed between us. I lived in fear that I could no longer give sound to all my words, to my love for him. Actually I think it was a terrible condemnation this, perhaps the one I deserve, or that God in whom my being continues to believe, thinks I deserve for the pain and destruction I have brought to others. I felt that fear like a slimy worm clutching my throat. I hoped that my hands around his, and my kisses, or my eyes, which I could not turn away from him, from his light, were all that my Marius needed, to see past my silences. And so it was, the Master knows and has always known, and as words are important to him, so is time, and all his patience and love are directed toward letting me find both.
Everything I wanted to say died on my lips, but Marius, he kept letting his eyes sail into mine, his lips graze my skin, as my fingers his hair, and my mouth his hands. Inside, I wondered if he had ever noticed, my beloved Master, how I had always looked at him, exactly as I had on those golden nights in Venice, if I had really been as good as I thought, I had been at not letting him discover me. Out of the corner of my eye, moving a lock of hair, as he turned his back on me, or when he was intent on something and his handsome profile stood out in the evening light. I was convinced I was extremely good at hiding the turmoil of my heart, good at not letting anything out, never saying anything openly, a mask of seraphic beauty. Once when I walked at his side, proud and warm in heart for that love that was ours, the Master had given me words and let me be the warrior with them, calling me back only if I objected, which I often loved to do, just to get his attention.
I have always known well how important words are to Marius, how strong and determined, an expression of his lucid and rational mind, and incredibly also of his feelings and heart. It was a time that seemed endless that I had walked accompanied by those words and those lessons, and in the end I was left with the silence of everything I had failed to tell him. Always every night, every hour, every moment I could I had confessed my love to him, but that honey had turned to ashes that night when everything burned. That night, I still hadn't told him, "I love you." and I couldn't tell him anymore, for so long, so long screaming it inside me. That boy so proud and defiant curious even talkative …. Transformed into a puppet. A puppet with a heart of stone and a face of marble. Looking back what had I had before Marius? And what had I had after him? A frightened but loyal fanatic in search of sanctity before, a puppet of a creed after, intoxicated with power and ruthless, hungry for something I could not name.
And now that I am here, next to my Master, maybe I could give it a name…but it would be like chasing a shadow in the sunset, everything we had is here among us, in us,and all fear and doubt are gone. Marius' elegant, large hand, with which he holds the pencil, traces a figure on my white skin. The shape of the graceful movement reveals to me what it is before he is even finished. It is strange, now, to feel the shape of a smile, a real heartfelt one, opening on my face.Stranger still is my will not stopping or erasing it, but letting it bloom and blossom. As I gaze into Marius's cobalt blue eyes, and his sweet and tender smile, I realize that his eyes glisten, a transparent red thread wraps around them, and I realize that the pencil in my hand has penned the words of my heart on his skin.
" I love you."
And while my eyes also blur red, my feeble but firm and clear voice speaks those same words, what I have not said for so long, but has always been inside me, now has the sound of my love for him again.
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feiandart · 12 days
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Posting 'em here again just to boost a bit my motivation today. I made 'em back in december, one of the first drawing I have ever made for myself only.
Will talk 'bout myself and my past from here, can skip it if you don't want my oversharing shit.
So. I used to work as a commission artist for years (5-6 if I'm not wrong), drew bit of anything you could think of and mainly sticked to NSFW art for most of my, uh, let me call that "carreer" even if it's probably the wrong term to use for it. Well, it paid my bills and rent for years, so we may stick to it anyway.
Thing is, I stopped drawing when I was eighteen. People, family first, always told me talent in art was all, practice would never have made it better and I should have kept it as a hobby rather than something to do as a job. Apart from my closest friends, no one encouraged me to practice and study and put real effort on it. I went to an art-based highschool (only because I couldn't focus on studying any subject, and art school is considered one in which you don't actually study at all here, so my parents thought it better to put me there as I wanted "so you can still graduate"), but I couldn't go ahead with art studies in professional comic schools, academies or any artistic department in university. No support on that front. Something like "be Caravaggio or be nobody" mindset was stuck into my head and I started actually believing that it was true. And since I was, and am not, Caravaggio, then what was the point? So I dropped the pencil and just forgot how to draw a fuckin' line for literal years.
Then I turned 22. I moved to another city for my studies. After completing 'em, my parents said me to come back home and I said no. They stopped paying anything for me since that moment, so I had to make things works on my own. Hopefully my rent was really low, so I could afford it with minimum effort, but had to buy groceries with coupons (not a common thing in Italy) and eat a lot less to make 'em last as much as possible. I found a job in a call-center, I cleaned houses and handed flyiers to people. And that's when I found out I cannot really be in social context for too long.
In the end I burned out, left all jobs and was stuck in bed for a month. I was barely 24, without a job, holding tight the little bit of freedom I ever got. I felt helpless and hopeless. I don't remember if my bestfriend or my housemate, but one of 'em said me to come back at drawing and givin' it a shot. What harm could that do afterall, could have been pocket money for a bit if it couldn't stick to something better.
I started from pencil. Then went to digital in a couple months. I practiced, started quite immediately taking commissions and honest to God I don't have the slightest clue of how someone whould spend money on some shit I drew without basic anathomy knowledge and after that much time without drawing. Still have no idea. So I drew. I made some quick animations, never did much there thought. Grew a little fanbase, went on with it for years. I even moved with my bestfriend, living with her alone for two years, got a cat I love that it's my actually support companion right now.
I felt happy for a bit, I believe. Imposter syndrome is always watching me afterall, that never stopped. It's just like there's another person in the room with me all day, whispering me I should do more 'cause I don't deserve any attention. Ugh.
However. I went on with that until 2023. I had to come back to my parent's house in 2022 and got stuck in here since then. Nightmare years. Still a nightmare period, but I'm managing. Thing is, past year I burned out so much I completed all my left commissions in a rush and actually dropped my tablet for months. I used it as a third screen, took away the pen and the glove and swore I would never ever be back at drawing again. Will not go into details of what triggered that burnout, but you got the point, I didn't want to draw again in my life at that time.
This is pretty much when Good Omens entered the room. It was late September, I saw a lot of videos on tiktok and since I watched S1 years ago, I decided to give it a shot to S2 too. It was an istant hyperfocus. Watched all over for weeks, both in italian, in english, in english with italian subs and english with english subs. Never done anything like that in my life before. By the end of October I came back at writing. So I started to arrange things for Up&Down, my first fic after uhm, like 15 years or so. And it felt so good! I went through 42 days of deep writing, posting a chapter a day just for myself. 'cause I wanted to write something I liked for the sole purpose of liking it. And it felt so liberating!
Then I thought: will this apply to drawing too, maybe?
Answer is YES. It did. I was inspired from the fandom, from MrGhostRat's art and Gleafer's, and started drawing again. I dug into english fanfictions, fandom artists I love, and the list just gets longer day by day. I started writing Sugar, and with it I started drawing illustrations for it.
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I went from the image to the left to the one to the right in two months. Guys, I'll repeat it: TWO MONTHS. I never had such a quick improvement in years, practicing every fuckin' day, drawing my hands out of my bloody body. I drew for 5-6 years and never got to improve this much. I did now. And you know why?
'cause I started drawing for myself. I'm doing something I love. And I'm getting better at it.
And you know what? I'm quite angry now. 'cause if I didn't stop years ago, who knows where I could have been now. If I didn't listen to people saying me "be Caravaggio or be nobody", I could have done so much more by now. Maybe I could have been able to draw fuckin' furnitures by now. Maybe I would have started being able to draw the same face two times in a row years ago insted of now.
Maybe I could have been the comic artist I wanted to be. Maybe not the best in the world, but I don't fuckin' care of being the best one, I want to be one I'm proud of. I didn't get the chance 'cause out there is full of people without a dream who's only purpose in life is destroying other people hopes.
And you know what? I'm done with that. I'm done with people saying me I'm not a gifted child. I'm done with people coming at me saying I cannot do shit I love 'cause they have reason to make me do something different. People thinks to know what's good for me but I'm fuckin' 30 and I think I know it pretty well already, thank you very much.
I'm managing how to get hold of my choices and things I love now that I'm an adult, but dear Lord I keep on thinking of my young self and I want to hug that poor thing so much I can't explain. I'd love to say her everything's going to be hard, but good in some way. That things are difficult, but they will change. That people are shit, but she should be strong and fight back. 'cause I did it too late and I regret now, but she deserved better.
You deserves better. And I'm talking to anyone who's reading this. I don't know if you went all the way 'til here, but if you did: don't make my same mistakes. You know better than me. Don't let people spoil the things you love, don't give 'em power to destroy your will and put you in a closet for the time being. You don't deserve that.
Don't miss your chance 'cause people doesn't want to see you happy to be yourself. Don't do that. They don't deserve that power over you.
Love yourself more than I loved myself. I'm starting just now and it's hell. You can do better, I promise.
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twotangledsisters · 2 months
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Whats one thing you think you need to improve with you art, one thing you're satisfied with about your art, and one thing that determines who or what you draw about?
OMG, I love this question!
Improve!
I took some time thinking about this and thinking about anatomy, colour theory, composition... but ultimately I think the thing I am most desperate to improve is emotion.
Here's a bunch of recent pieces and WIPs, all of which I love:
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With the exception of Eugene at the bottom smiling, they all feel very flat emotionally. They do not feel alive, they do not feel real, you do not look at those character and understand how they are feeling and feel with them (with the exception of Eugene's smile!)
You understand what I as an artist am attempting, it's very clear the New Dream and CandyCaine drawings on the upper corners are supposed to be in love, it's very clear the lower left drawing and upper-middle are supposed to be sad-sorta. But you don't feel it. Or I don't.
I want every piece I do to hit you with emotion! And I think my recent art reflects that intent, but isn't there yet. I don't know why. Like I can't quite put my finger on it... But they just feel flat.
Satisfied.
Something I'm very satisfied with right now is posing! For a long time I was just drawing characters standing still, nothing really going on... Every artists has that phase! And I realised I was doing that and now I try to avoid it all costs.
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I mean these are three recent pieces and there's good variety. I could definitely be pushing the poses a bit more, especially that first one with New Dream I feel like there's room for a lot more movement... But as far as variety and poses choice, not necessarily how it's carried out, I am very satisfied about where I am right now.
Determines who or what you draw about
This one is really hard because... I don't think there is anything?
I'm not consistent with what I do.
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No consistency.... Sometimes it's clean line-art, sometimes none, sometimes a little, sometimes I'm using pencil textures, sometimes no texture.... I CAN'T DECIDE D:
Sometimes I'm doing portraits, fantasy creatures, scenes, landscapes...
There are consistencies in my art like how I do anatomy (yes, I realise the stylized Rapunzel using a cartoon anatomy is already breaking this rule), or that I will repeat techniques....
I mean I don't even really want to be consistent in my art and what I draw, I like trying out new things, plus...
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Sometimes I want to spend weeks on a piece (lots of my faves take 5-7 hours, I think my longest is 15 hours on a single drawing). I want to pour all of my love into a piece!!
And other days I want to sit down and finish a drawing in one session.
I can't just pick ONE style!!! XD
I think I went on a tangent there... I'm sorry.
But yeah... I don't have a satisfactory answer for this last one simply because I can't find the common thread in my art. But I don't think that takes away from it :D
I just kinda pick up a pen and see what happens XD
Thanks so much for an awesome ask that got me staring at my art and asking questions! I always love rambling about art, it's great :D
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brooklynmuseum · 1 year
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“I am Black, and I love my Blackness,” Nellie Mae Rowe told a reporter in 1979.
She embedded photographs of herself in at least a dozen works, including Real Girl (shown here), which captures various aspects of her identity and the way they intersect. Here, she has placed her signature at the heart of her composition under an image of herself in front of her home, holding a doll.
Like a valentine to herself, Rowe uses traditionally feminine forms like bright pink, lacy edges, flowers, and the heart arabesque as a declaration that she is a “real girl,” embracing play and creativity during her artistic birthright.
🎨 Nellie Mae Rowe (American, 1900–1982). Real Girl, 1980. Color photograph, crayon, pen, pencil on cardboard, 14 × 11 in. (35.6 × 27.9 cm). High Museum of Art, gift of Judith Alexander, 2003.212. © 2022 Estate of Nellie Mae Rowe/Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York. (Photo: Courtesy of the High Museum of Art)
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brisquad-unit-4402 · 2 months
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hello i’ve got some thoughts and updates for this blog.
i’ve been on a bit of burnout for a while, including life outside of writing. naturally the termination has sped up that burnout. i’m exhausted and struggling to be graceful about it, but that’s to be expected. i’m not one to sit on my feelings even though i’ve lacked the energy to write. which really bites because that’s my number-one passion really.
however i’ve taken some time to relax by diverting my attention away from social media and niji streams. i’ve relearned an old hobby and splurged a little too much on a new one, and i kind of can’t believe how much i missed drawing on real paper with a real pen and pencil. and thank god the love and deepspace sponsorship wrapped up before the termination, because that game has me in not just a chokehold but like one of those umbilical cords from astral projection. the silver cord? that
i’ve been watching other vtubers lately as well. i’ve always considered adding holostars en to my list but hesitated because everything else on my blog was niji-related.
consider this confirmation that i will be adding holostars’ tempus hq, vanguard and armis, and first stage productions’ avallum to my list of characters i will write for. i admit i’m not as familiar with armis, but i’ll be paying closer attention in the near future as i branch out from strictly watching niji only.
(might also be adding idol corp’s e-sekai? maybe? i watch them once every few months and i haven’t seen pochi or yuko stream since they debuted 💀 no clue on their gen 2 either)
i’ll be overhauling my masterpost for organization soon. so apologies for the horrors about to come… to be clear i will not delete any of my writing so don’t worry!
i’m unsure how much niji i’ll write in the future. give me some time to think as the situation hopefully cools down. i appreciate your patience.
and who knows maybe i’ll write for non-vtuber fandoms too
i think it’s about time i clean my inbox out soon too. i‘ll answer what asks i can and delete the remaining ones. i’ve had a few requests sitting in my inbox for nearly a year now and i’ve recently realized how stressed i was over them and learned about some boundaries i didn’t know i had beforehand, among other things, so so it’s about time i face them head-on. i apologize if i never got to your request! please don’t take it personally if i don’t answer your request. but above all else thank you for being patient, understanding, and kind enough to send in a request. even though i tend to bite off more than i can chew i always get so happy whenever i see a notif in my inbox and i appreciate your time for a little unit 4402.
even though i’m not watching niji streams atm i’m hesitant to stop writing for them because, like, i keep thinking of this clip of doppio saying he feels like he’s allowed to buy healthy/organic food because of fan support and donations, and among other reasons... it’s very easy to make conclusions on people you only know through a screen and i just can’t bring myself to cut them out so abruptly, even if i’m a fan creator on a site none of them use.
idk when i’ll post next and it feels nice to say that. i usually try to post once every 2 weeks, but considering how i’m trying not to think about niji right now and am instead embracing other parts of my life, i dunno. it’s nice. this blog is a major source of joy for me and it feels like i’m preserving what makes it so special for me instead of turning it into a chore. hopefully with time and rest i’ll have a clearer idea of where to go from here.
that’s pretty much everything on my mind, i think? thank you for bearing with me and my yapping. i hope to return soon and that the next time you see me, my blog will be cleaner, more expansive, and with a fresh mindset. take care of yourselves and don’t get immersed in toxicity. don’t forget to do what you love 💛
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