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#i think about this scene alot
maalidoesart · 3 months
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now both of you are gone
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jigglyjamboree · 4 months
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BEASTARS | Paru Itagaki
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duahauuoplanh · 2 years
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Let's .. just talk.
About what?
Things we never talked about. Our stories.
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nicolloyd · 4 months
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another simple comic, ft garm again :')
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amaranthdahlia · 3 months
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[chapter 408] extended cut - sewer chase scene
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floydsteeth · 1 month
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yuseirra · 30 days
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minayuka
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elysiuminfra · 7 months
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i might sound like a conspiracy theorist but im reading up on the animation studio review spreadsheet for bento box studios (the one currently animating the hazbin hotel show) and alot of these are like. from only a couple months ago. and theyre ALL negative, talking about abusive management, harsh deadlines and poor treatment of fresh animators. and with the new hazbin hotel trailer out i wonder if the poor quality of the trailer might be because of the crew being overworked / dealing with poor management. there's some interesting remarks about higher-ups and abusive producers. chewing on this.
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rykno-j · 9 months
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What it means to be the Strongest (j/jk)
Again writen with s/atos/ugu in mind, but unestablished, though definitely in love.
Summary: So my previous fic, if i remember correctly, had a line like:
["S/atoru, you've been too strong for too long. Let me take over, even if just for a little while."]
and then i realised i have something like that in my drafts, so why not i just develop the thought a little?
Notes: the timeline for this would be set before my previous fic [here] but reading it it isn't required to understand this one.
possibly written in the context of pre-RCT g/ojo? because i didn't want him to have the ability to replenish himself in any way. cue "Domain Amplification": Exhaustion.
there's also a point in the fic i used single inverted commas, like this: '[text]'. js to clarify, those are not actual dialogue but just g/eto's thoughts. uh.. it will make more sense when you reach that part..
And finally, to cope with the month of wait before Shibuya, I present to you..
3.4k words
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"Satoru, you've been specially requested."
"..Specially requested."
"..Specially resquested."
Geto watches as Gojo visibly deflates, before he shakes his head, expression changing as he stands up with that same bravo as ever.
"Right!! I'll prepare to leave immediately!"
The quiver in his legs don't go unnoticed by Geto.
This has been been happening for the past month. Don't they have other sorcerers that they can send?
The answer to that was obvious.
Of course there was. But who in the right mind would call on someone who was below 'the best option'?
Mission after mission, Geto finds himself missing the company of his friend. Normally, they would go on them together, but the recent spike in cases had left him with barely any space to breathe either, though he was relatively sure they were easier on him compared to Gojo.
He swears the other hadn't slept in weeks. Geto would return to their dorms, and the bed would still made the way he left it in the morning.
The few times he had tried to look under Gojo's sunglasses for eyebags, his hand had been swatted away, either physically or stopped with Infinity.
"Suguruu- I'm fine, don't worry about me."
"..Then look me in the eyes and say that again."
Gojo would laugh in response, waving his wrist dismissively in Geto's direction. "Of course I'm fine, we're the strongest, remember? It won't be fair I claimed to be tired now would it? Not that I am, of course."
Yes it would be, it would be fair. You need breaks too, Geto wanted to say, was going to say, if not for another interruption, this time from Gojo's phone.
It lit up in his lap, before the screen was raised to eye level. Geto watched as Gojo's eyebrows furrowed, shoulders slumping almost unnoticeably in disappointment.
He has seen this play out a thousand times before. As much as Geto wanted to reach out to drag Gojo back down next to him, his hand was frozen to his side.
"Another special request.. ahhh- I guess I better go get ready."
Geto watched silently as Gojo sauntered away, as if he was about to leave for a party, not a possibly life-threatening mission. Seriously.. he was forever taking things too lightly.
Geto wanted to do something, anything. Maybe file a request to give Satoru some space to breathe? Possibly even an argument that allowed him to join in the missions as backup?
Anything.
But there was always the possibility that Gojo would turn down rest, no matter how desperately he needed it. He was wearing himself dangerously thin, like a thread about to snap. All he needed was a little tug to break.
Break.
___
Days later:
"Satoru- want to go get a drink? I just saw the workers leaving, I think they got the machines refilled."
When met with no reply, Geto turned back, only to see Gojo spacing out a distance away.
"Sa-to-ru. Satoru- are you there?"
He walks up to the other, waving an open palm in front of the bowed head.
Behind the sunglasses, Geto sees Gojo's eyelashes flutter open before a finger came up to push them back into position, covering his eyes from view.
"Ah- yeah I'm here. Sorry, what were you saying?"
There he went again, dozing off at every chance he got. Geto noticed that had started happening two days ago. In class, during training, while queuing for food, while standing. And now, even while walking.
"..hH'!! ..hAH'sHHiew!! hh'..heH'tchH!!"
And there was that too. Something was definitely wrong.
"Satoru- when's the last time you slept?"
"I was just sleeping, hahaha-! Didn't you see?"
"That's not-"
"Suguru, if you're going to chew me out for not resting again, I assure you, I'm perfhH'.. perfectly.. fhH'.. fine-"
Geto shot him a look that screamed "Really??", and Gojo would have seen it, if not for the fact he snapped to the side violently, bending over as his breath hitched desperately.
"..hh'-hIH-tcHH'iew!! ..hAH'zZchHiw!!"
"Sa-"
"Dhh'..Don't worry abou'uhH'- hhH'!! hiH'zZchh!! ..hAH'DzZsh'w!! ..a-about me."
With the way he was swaying at the moment, Geto was sure a light breeze could knock him over.
What more, with the way he was standing, slouched over, a passerby would never be able to tell that Gojo was the taller of the two.
Hence, while Geto wouldn't consider himself to be one who actively sought after physical contact with Gojo (that's a lie though), he couldn't help but inch closer to the other, putting a comforting arm around Gojo's waist.
Geto then stared at the top of Gojo's head. Did his hair always look this messy? Surely not. Satoru wasn't one who paid too much attention to appearances, but this was taking it to an extreme.
"You look like you're going to collapse. Seriously. Tell me what's wrong."
"..Maybe- maybe.." Gojo mumbled as a response to Geto's earlier statement. "..Maybe I'm not feeling as well I thought.. haha-"
Geto sighs. "Took you damn near long enough. Come on, let's head back to our dorm. The drinks can wait."
Gojo whined something incomprehensible before he reached out a shaky hand to grab the arm supporting him from behind. He tilted his head up at an angle to shoot Geto a playful yet tired smirk. "Wait.. ahhh- Suguru.. s-sorry- I think.. I think I'm gonna to pass out right now."
Of course. Of course he could still find the energy to fool around in such circumstances. It was one of Gojo's character traits that Geto never understood.
He had half a mind to ask the other to snap out of it. But upon further inspection, Geto watched as Gojo's pupil glazed over with a hazy, faraway look, before it shrunk, eyelids sliding shut as Gojo went slack in his arms.
Seriously. Jokes like these should really be saved for less dire situations.
"..Satoru.. come on, let's go back."
No response.
"..Oi- Satoru.. you can't be serious. Quit fucking with me.."
No response. It's fine. Gojo liked messing with him after all.
"..S-Satoru.. oi Satoru!"
"..Fuck."
"..Fuck Fuck FUCK-! You can't be serious-"
He wasn't joking.
Forgetting that he could always manipulate his curses to handle Gojo's weight, Geto slipped his free hand under Gojo's knees, hauling him into his arms, bridal style.
"..Asshole! You're such an asshole."
'Your asshole though, right?' Geto could hear Gojo's teasing voice in his head as he made his way quickly through the hallway, his pace bordering a sprint.
That's right. My asshole.
Geto placed Gojo gently on the freshly made bed. It was probably the first time in weeks he had laid there. A soft groan escaped Gojo's lips as his head made contact with the soft pillow.
Good. He wasn't dead yet.
However, a quick touch to his cheek made Geto question his previous thought. With a fever like that, how was he not dead?
Quickly grabbing a small towel, Geto soaked it with water from his bottle, wringing it onto the floor before he brought it to the other's forehead. The mess of water puddles could wait. He had more important things to tend to.
Geto carefully folded and set Gojo's sunglasses aside, gently brushing away the strands of hair covering his face. The wet cloth was then put on his forehead.
It's not much, but it should help.
Knowing Gojo, he probably didn't take any medicine since this started. Speaking of which, Geto made a mental note to ask when it did. Gojo had been busy with a mission for the past few days, so it probably meant he was working through whatever this was.
Probably a cold.
The sneezing earlier should have been an obvious indication, but the fever he was currently running sealed the deal.
Geto knew exhaustion would eventually catch up to him. To be completely honest, he had thought Gojo would give in earlier. He must have been holding out way pass his limits.
It was alright to be weak at times, even for the 'Strongest', a concept that Gojo never seemed to understand. Either that or he did, but chose to ignore it in place of his ego and the fact that he didn't want anyone else to get hurt in his place if the curses turned out to the stronger than reported.
Geto suspected the reason leaned more towards the latter. Gojo had always cared about others in his own way, whether he considered them weak or not. Although.. with the way he openly made fun of people around him, it would cause others to beg otherwise.
Geto knew him better than that.
A soft whine drew him back into the present. Geto turned to focus his attention on Gojo. Even in the dimly lit room, his brilliant blue eyes were hard to miss, hard to look away from, no matter how dulled they were from the haze of the fever.
"Suguru.. Suguru-"
"Shh. Rest. I'm here."
"..You carried me here?"
"Mm."
Gojo let out a laugh that looked like it took all his effort. "You're stronger than you look then."
"You're just lighter than you look."
The small exchange put Geto slightly more at ease. If Satoru could still make any conversation into a joke, he was fine. Well, it at least meant his brain wasn't fried yet.
A sharp, feathery inhale dragged Geto's attention back to the bed.
"..hih'tchh!! hh'..hah'tchiw!!"
"Bless you." God. Even his sneezes sounded tired, a complete difference from his normal, over exaggerated ones.
"snff'- ..thanks."
Gojo looked seconds away from passing out again, his fist closing around the soft blanket. Sighing, Geto stood up.
"Alright, that's enough of being awake for you. Go back to sleep, okay? Let yourself rest for once."
"Hah.. so reluctant to talk to me?"
Quite the opposite, actually, Geto wanted to say. Instead, he reached over to straighten the cloth. It had fallen over to cover one of Gojo's eyes, making him look a lot more endearing than Geto would ever care to admit.
"Of course not. I just have something I have to get done, so I'll be leaving for a bit."
Geto turned away right as Gojo's frame sunk into the mattress in disappointment. If he had seen it, there was no way Geto would have left his side for another good year.
"Mm, okay."
Geto was careful not to open the door too wide. It was early in the evening, and he wanted to let in as little light as possible. Satoru had always been sensitive after all.
Behind the closed door, Gojo turned to the side, snatching Geto's pillow into his chest, pulling it into a tight embrace. He was sure the other wouldn't mind.
__
Getting pissed won't help anybody, Geto knew that, he really did. But with Gojo practically forced into bed-rest for at least half a week, he needed to raise some of his concerns to his teachers, at least.
He pulls the classroom door open.
"Sensei-"
"Ah, Suguru. Right on time. I've got a new mission file for you."
"Right. That's exactly what I've come to talk to you ab-"
"Satoru has been specially requested."
"..See that's-"
"But I've written in to specially request you to follow him."
"-exactly what I've been.. huh? What?"
The teacher gave him a knowing smile before sliding a file over the table. Of course. Always doing things in a roundabout way. He's seen that before.
"..Thank you."
He takes the file, quickly leaving the classroom afterwards, his legs taking him subconsciously back to where the dorms where as his hands occupied themselves with flipping through the documents.
Halfway through the mission file, Geto feels something slip out from between the pages. He leans forward to pick it up, a knowing smile flashing across his face.
A small packet of fever medicine.
Seems his teacher had the same idea, that Gojo would never go out of his way to get supplies, if at all, when he fell sick. Well, that saved him half the trouble.
And here came the other half.
When Geto returned to their dorm, he noticed the aura of Gojo's technique surrounding himself. It shocked him at first, but Geto figures that in his vulnerable state, Gojo's mind subconsciously casts infinity to keep him safe.
Though.. it could also have been a side effect from all the dangerous missions that they had put him through for the past month, such that his body was on heightened alert even during rest.
Well that's a first.
He hadn't really been around Gojo while he was sick before, especially not to the extent of passing out like that.
Surely this continuous usage of Infinity counted as over-exertion, evident from Gojo's slightly furrowed eyebrows despite him being asleep. His breathing was also choppier than usual, either due to the congestion or disturbed rest.
Surprisingly, Geto noticed that Infinity seemed to thin out as he approached the bed.
He remembers Gojo telling him, "Suguru- you know, I can totally tell apart your cursed energy from others!"
Was Satoru's body really recognising him and relaxing because of it? Guess that whole 'telling apart' thing wasn't a lie after all.
Geto reaches out a palm and presses it against Gojo's forehead. His hand easily passes through the barrier, making contact with the other. The damp cloth lay uselessly by the side of the pillow, having fulfilled its purpose.
Still warm, but cooler than before.
Gojo whines against the touch as he slowly stirs. "Suguruu- you're backk.."
"Mm." Geto hummed in reply, sitting himself by the edge of the bed. "Did you sleep well?"
"Ah.. not really."
The raw honesty catches Geto off-guard, especially compared to the previous few days, where Gojo would wave him off for being too worried, right up till the point he collapsed.
He supposes that upon admitting "I'm not feeling well", Gojo's walls simply crumbled, leaving him in Geto's care.
The mattress shifted as Gojo turned to the side, a wrist coming up to rub at his nose.
"S-Sorry.. I- hh' have t'hH-!! hih'tchh!! haH'zzchh!!"
He sniffles against his wrist, watching with teary eyes as Geto pulls out a small pack of travel tissues from the drawer before handing it to him.
"Th'hH-!! ..thank y-you.. hH'hihchH'iw!! hah'zzdchH!!"
He pulls out a piece, pressing it softly against his nose. Outside, the sun had barely start setting.
"..snff'.. Suguru- why are you here anyway? Don't you have better things to do?"
Better things to do than look after you? Unlikely. And your Infinity will just go up again once I leave. But of course Geto doesn't say that.
Instead, he raises the file in his hand. "Background information on a mission. I'll have to read it eventually anyway, I can do it here, I've got time."
"..A mission?"
"Yes. For the two of us, actually."
"Really?? I get to go with you this time?" Happiness seeped into his words, bringing an unconscious smile to Geto's face.
"Mm, but I doubt they'd let you go in this state."
Without even looking over, Geto swore he could hear the pout in Gojo's voice.
"Aw.. b-but I wna go with you."
"..Then get better. Quickly." Because I don't want to leave without you either. I'm never leaving you alone again if I can help it.
"Sigh- alright, alright.. I'll get some rest."
"Before that.." Geto suddenly remembered, rising to his feet to retrieve a mug. He should probably get Satoru to take the medicine as soon as possib-
Geto hears a crash behind him.
"SAtoru!"
On the floor, Gojo laughs softly at himself, hanging half off the bed.
"S-Sorry-"
"What were you doing?"
Gojo looked almost embarrassed. "Ah.. nothing, honestly.. I just.. I guess I just.. panicked when I saw you get up.. that's all. I thought you were going to leave again.."
Again? ..Oh, right. He had left for the classrooms earlier. Why didn't Satoru just say something before he did? Forget that. Why didn't he notice?
Geto quickly grabbed a mug, filling it with water before he returned to the bedside.
"I'm sorry."
"Hm? Ahh- it's okay, it's okay.. I was just saying silly things."
"No. Don't say that. It's okay to want company, to need company. That's why I'm here, right?"
"Mm, yeah."
"..Why do you sound so reluctant to admit it?"
Gojo shifted again, this time tilting his head away from Geto.
"..Suguru. Am I'm strong?"
"Mm, why the sudden question?"
"..Am I still considered strong if.. if something as simple as a cold can.. can.. hH'..hih'DzchH!! haH'tchHew!! ..snff'.. fuck. I can't even control those."
"I'd honestly be more surprised if you could." Geto replied, bringing the mug up to Gojo's lips. His voice sounded harsh, and the constant sneezes were not helping. "C'mon, look over here, you should drink something."
Gojo sighed, shifting the tissue away to drink from his mouth.
"Take these too."
"..Medicine? Where did you get those from?"
"Sensei."
"Ahh- damn. He really knows everything doesn't he?"
"Anyone on the outside could tell that you were wearing yourself thin, not just him. Shoko had her fair share of worries for you as well."
Gojo remained silent upon hearing that, seemingly very interested in the cup he was drinking from.
Geto felt his heart skip a beat. Had he said something wrong? Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned that fact it was obvious.
The silence lasted for a few moments, before Gojo inhaled sharply, turning to the side.
"..hH'-aH'zZchH!! hah-hH'tcHHiw!! hiH'dzZch'w!! hH'!!-..snff- hehh'tchhiw!"
Geto startled at the fit, though he quickly collected himself, eyes focusing on what appeared to be an extremely sorry Gojo.
In his hand was the empty mug, its contents having been spilled all over the blanket from the violent jerks, a side effect of the sneezing.
"..I'm s-orry.."
Geto paused in his actions of retrieving a cloth for the mess. Something was wrong. Satoru had a voice break? No matter how cute it was (god forbid he admit that), he had never heard the other say anything with such a broken tone before.
Forgetting the cloth, Geto quickly returned to Gojo's side, wrapping his arms around the shivering frame of Gojo's body, head resting above his.
Gojo froze in place, shocked at the sudden but welcomed contact. The mug in his hand slowly slipped off his fingers, falling onto the covers. A small whine escaped his lips yet again as Gojo's fingers repurposed themselves with grabbing gently at Geto's arm.
He found himself leaning into the warm embarce, turning his head slightly such that his cheek could rest against Geto's chest.
Gojo had longed for this for days. Days. Days. He could feel tears starting to form at the corner of his eyes. From the cold or from his overflowing emotions? He had no idea.
"Suguru. Come lie down with me, please?"
He didn't need to be asked twice.
Within seconds, Geto had climbed onto the bed, getting comfortable under the covers as he extended a hand to Gojo.
"Come. Leave that side. It's wet." An excuse to get Gojo into his arms.
Gojo crawled over to where Geto was waiting, instantly latching onto the other the moment he got close enough to do so.
As Geto's arms close around him once again, Gojo realised that he had never felt so.. so safe, so.. comforted, before. It was a new feeling, one he was afraid of yet welcomed.
He had only known Suguru for a year, but damn was the guy making him question his own feelings left right and center.
A hand found itself on the back of Gojo's head as he snuggled closer into Geto's chest, burying his nose into the folds of Geto's shirt.
Drowsiness slowly started to take over as Gojo felt like this was the first time in forever he was truly allowed to relax. Was it from the medicine? Or was it from Geto's steady heartbeat that was lulling him to sleep? In all honesty, it didn't matter.
Geto felt Gojo relax in his embrace. Once the stuffy soft snores started to slip into a rhythm, he tilted his head downwards, whispering in a low, soothing voice.
"Satoru, you've been too strong for too long. Let me take over, even if just for a little while."
That was the last thing said for the night, as Geto himself started to drift off into sleep, the sun setting behind him
Unknown to the other, Gojo's lips curled into a smile.
Really.. the things Suguru says when he thinks no one is listening. It was going to be the death of him one day.
-end-
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Finishing notes:
this fic actually stemmed from the phrase "what if Gojo's Infinity came up by itself when he's sick?" then it.. became.. this.. somehow..
decided to change their roles here ahhh- caretaker Getoo-
maybe i wrote Gojo a little out of character with the amount of clinging he did to Geto (also the whole DON'T LEAVE ME panic of a sick person in bed), but hey. i'm a strong advocate for clingy sick Gojo, sue me.
i also wanted to keep up the soft Gojo writing, soo i tried the whole "strong character falls weak to a cold" trope thing
BUT i also know for a FACT that i was NOT going to be satisfied if i just let Gojo go out like that, so i tried making his collapse scene exclusively *him*
by that i mean i tried making it slightly humorous. ahh well if it ended up not coming out like that.. it's still fine
also wanted to write a whole "Gojo pretending he's alright when he's not" fic, and was trying to capture the whole "once he admits he's not okay, everything comes crumbling down and he's a mess" thing
i feel like a lot more could have been written in this fic.. but the problem was i didn't know how to.. shshhdhshds im getting better i swear (abit more of this in the tags)
i hope the final scene read as soft as i was hoping it would. just picture Gojo sinking into Geto's hug, smooshing his face against Geto's chest, whining a whole bunch, breathing in his scent
..or maybe scratch the scent part, since Gojo's nose is a little congested//
anyway, hope it was a nice read and thankyou for stopping by!!
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maalidoesart · 1 year
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prison meetup
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toukawings · 2 years
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thsi design bangs (screaming)
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duahauuoplanh · 4 months
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10 years. I've been looking for my mom for 10 years..
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lesbiantahani · 1 year
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do you think marlene ever told ellie about her mother. like, in the game ellie has anna's note, yet other than the recordings there is no mention of anna further; in the show there is only the flashback and nothing more to tell us that ellie even knows who her mother was. in all those years did ellie ever ask about her? if marlene knew anything, if she was just found by marlene and put into fedra and thats it. i wonder if she thought her mother was funny, if she was kind, if she looks like her at all. i wonder if marlene found it too hard to voice, to tell her, and its why ellie says "you my fucking mom or something?" in the first episode to marlene bc maybe she actually has no idea what her mother was like, what her name even was. it almost sadly alludes to ellie not even knowing that marlene was so close to anna. does she...does she even know the knife was her mothers? like....thats so depressing actually. in the show, what was left of ellie to know about her mother died with marlene. im biting my phone
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miramelindamusings · 1 year
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Thanks for the info for possibilities about Namine's role in your Kairi Protag AU. I think that Namine could be a clone of Kairi made by the Organization, like Riku Replica.
On another note, what do you think Kairi would wear in the Pirates of the Caribbean world? Pirate wise.
That’s a neat idea! I’d love to hear more if you feel comfortable sharing! In terms of POTC, I actually started a re-watch to get in the headspace to draw something since it’s been a very long time that I’ve seen them! Kairi’s outfits are so pink in KH2 and KH3 so I tried to incorporate the purples and yellow from KH1 for some of the designs. While KH2 didn’t have Sora wear anything special, I couldn’t resist atleast sketching something out for Kairi. I can’t wait to draw something more concrete in the future (particularly exploring interactions with Elizabeth Swann!). Until then, here are my brainstormy sketches! Thank you for the ask!
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kurosstuff · 2 years
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Humbly begging for Donna and a reader who’s a Frankenstein’s Monster, though I guess in this case it’d be more along the lines of Heisenberg’s or Dimitrescu’s Monster.
Ok so- is it still a Frankenstein monster if they remember some of their human past? If not whoops- idk I never really read or watched anything Frankenstein so my knowledge on him isn't a lot- I can't remember if he was fully made of human parts or some was from his actual body-
All I know is- he hates fire- made up of dead people- anger issues and in some movies he wants to be human? Or something idk
So if you want me to redo this tell me!
Warning(s): slight body horror since reader is based of of a Frankenstein like creature??, blood; but overall fluff at some point. Suggestive? At a couple points? Idk flirty? Angsty a bit though so sorry-! Angie curses again cause it's funny to me
Donna Beneviento x Frankenstein-like! Reader: New Beginning
It hurt.
Everything hurts-
Your mind, body, and whatever the fuck is coming out of your mouth. The gurgling noises as you spit- something out
The color familiar yet not.
You felt hungry
...What's happening...? Why does everything hurt so bad
Why did something feel missing?
Who did this to you?
Why?
Why you?
"Well look at this."
Who even are you?
A bang caught your attention from above you. Curling into yourself all you smelled was smoke. Heavy footsteps headed your way. You ignored the other odd noises and focused on the new person on the room- your instincts telling you to run. But you didn't
You stayed.
"Now. What the hell happened to you?" A rough voice spoke again- Looking aroung the bloodied ground- a couple limbs thrown as if ripped off someone. The figure got close enough to you- Crouching down they threw their cigarette down crushing it under their boot. You opened your mouth in an attempt to speak.
All that came out was a growl
"HAH. Sorry guess I should've expected that." Looking up you watched the man rub his beard in thought- who was he? Why do you feel the need to run from him? "They all lose that ability when.. well" gesturing to you he sighed "you know."
"Ga...w.." your mouth attempted to speak the words yet couldn't come out properly. He watched patiently as you came to terms with it. "H..Hu-man?" The words sounded strange from your mouth. The voice unfamiliar even to yourself.
"Well shit. You can speak can't you?"
Nodding your head shakily- you sat up to look at him closely. His features familiar. Name something you knew very well. But couldn't recall.
"Not well but much better at least." He fell silent once again. Staring at you- a minute passed or maybe more. Time wasn't important anymore at this point. You're already dead.
Wait.. are you dead? Blinking slowly like a cat would- you tilted your head to the side. Moving your shaking hand to your chest to feel a heartbeat. The man watched you closely as you did. Feeling around you took a moment before feeling for the beat.
There was none.
"How about this. You come with me and I'll help you."
His voice. Familiar. What was his name? Why can't you remember?
Holding his hand out to you to grab a voice deep in the back of your mind urged you to not take it. You ignored it. Taking his hand he smirked. The same smirk you remember seeing on the painting in the church. The same one your in.
"Good choice." He spoke pulling you up. Patting your shoulder the familiar heavy hammer on his shoulder finally caught your attention. Your eyes widden- you remembered.
His names-
"I'm Lord Heisenberg."
-
Laying on a cold table- Heisenberg placed your remaining mangled limbs onto the side strapping them down tightly. Didn't matter how tight it was- you couldn't feel it.
"Now don't worry" he spoke roughly- pulling a cart of metal and dismembered dead limbs- lining it up beside him he gave a hum. "This will only hurt alot"
"Bite this. Don't wanna lose that tongue" putting a belt into your mouth you bit down- he waited a minite before pulling a scalpel be made the first cut-
You screamed.
-
Months of working paid off. You seemed more human in a way- more then you once were- you couldn't feel the pain as much as before but it was still there. Like a old feeling of reminisces but for pain. Your limbs enhanced to function easier without the chance of the joints failing like its done in the past. Breaking like it has before.
It was perfect- but different. The stitches and metal pocking out of you in the mirror showed you otherwise. The parts that wasnt yours before felt- off and weird. If not for the mirror you'd have no idea what you looked like.
Not anymore- it was like a stranger in your body- but your ok with it. It's much better then what you'd have to deal with. Even if it was a short time.
"The metal will have to settle more. The dead meat is too tough for it to function without you limping." Heisenberg spoke the first time- dispite being unable to speak more then a couple words- he knew what you were curious about. Glancing up from his paper he sighed "it won't be as bad in a little bit."
"You'll walk properly again soon. Give it time"
And wait you did. It took another month until you could walk again properly with the new metal in them- the new limbs stitched together in such a way it tightened and pulled when you moved thankfully it was not as painful as it was before. It took another month to bend them without the noise it would make(still did just not as loud.)
Your hands were another deal. The joints work well surprisingly well. Unlike your legs which Heisenberg theorized it could've been from the breaks in them before you.. turned. The sharp claws added to the discolorization up to your elbows. Your whole body turned to a sick Grey color while your hands and the veins leading up to the elbows looked like a tar. The darkened veined from the burns you suffered grew more clear.
You insisted on wearing gloved to cover them up. But even that couldn't hide the claws. The indents from them breaking the gloves no matter how much you tried.
You stuck with black gloves because of that.
Your face wasn't much different. Minus the glowing eyes. And the stitching next to your check leading from your eye to the bottom of your jaw from some foreign injury you can't seem to remember- it was still your face. Just different.
Minus the teeth. They weren't human- to ragged and sharp to be considered human teeth.
You still looked like you. At least that's what you liked to think.
The strength you held was an issue for the both of you. Heisenberg refused to let you touch anything without his help since you broke his metal bars- a problem for you cause now you can't touch anything. No matter how much you wanted to.
And you wanted to.
The first time you didn't shake when lifting your arms- You were happy. The first thing you did was attampt to drink tea by yourself- you held it too and broke it without lifting it to drink. You waited weeks before your ability to hold back your strength got better. You didn't break anything you touched right away anymore. But you still couldn't touch anything fragile.
"OK get up." Heisenberg spoke shaking you awake. Blinking slowly at him- you looked at him silently " I'm taking you to help with your.. gentle shit" gesturing to all of you with a wave of his hand
Looking at him blankly he rolled his eyes turning to wait for you to stand and dress "its not like I can help with that. I'm not gentle."
"And I can't have you mopping about. I see the way you want to touch those flowers. Wilted or not. Touch those animals but refuse to." Heisenberg spoke slowly to make sure you understood what he was saying more clearer. "I.. I know someone who can help you with that. Be helpful in ways I can't." Once the shuffling was over he turned to face you again. His face neutral- yet a hint of hesitation
"I can help you physically. Fix your body as much as I can but she can help where it really counts. The inside"
It all became clear.
You were being sent to someone else to help you- and by the sounds of it he won't be staying with you.
The feeling you felt with that was- weird. Sad and unfamiliar. You couldn't decide if the thing you felt was sad cause your helper- creator-? wasn't coming with or it was the fact you had to interact with a new person.
Something you haven't done since it first happened.
The bond you had with Heisenberg was weird to say the least. He wasn't bad like how you remembered him being. He was... awkward. But kind in his own way. Even more so since you had a will of your own.
He was always there for you when it mattered though.
Like when you tried to eat a metal screw thinking it was food- he stopped you and guided you to eat something else. Or the time you spoke your first word without a stutter- he made it a big thing because to you-it was a big thing.
"Hey" breaking you out of your thoughts he looked at you silently.
"You will be fine. She's nice"
-
The ride to wherever was a little long- the time spent in the Carrier was him checking that you had everything you needed. Going over the usual rules.
Be careful and listen to her.
And don't break the dolls.
It was easy rules to follow- something you can do without much trouble. Being compliant was easy- actually following through with stuff is harder for you. But you can manage- if this mysterious woman is someone he trusts- you will trust her as well.
"..hey you uh.. ok?" Heisenberg spoke not as awkwardly as he used to be- when he attempted to be gentle with you- he knows you need gentle. "This is your first time leaving the factory. I'll understand if your upset" watching you shake your head he sighed softly "use your words"
"..No. Am fine" slowly the words came out awkwardly but the pain in your throat was as it always was.
Unbearable.
-
It took at least 25 minutes to get to some misty place- looking out the small window of the door you stared in wonder- the trees looked dark yet light from the moon peaking in from the mist- the dolls hanging was an odd touch but you chalked it up to some decoration thing. Passing a bump in the road you saw some graves- your face grimmed at the reminder. Of what you missed-
"OK come on. Where here" Heisenberg called out breaking you from your thoughts. Looking over at him when the Carrier came to a stop he opened the door a hand out for you "Come on. Don't want to keep them waiting" taking his hand- he helped you out. He allowed you to cling to his jacket to help your nerves. This was all new and he knew it.
He slowly helped you to the door- looking at you for a moment before knocking. Automatically the door opened he stepped in with you and closed it.
A woman wearing a long black dressed with a black veil stood the middle of the room- her hands placed infront of her in a stiff manner- a doll that looked to be wearing a bride dress sat beside her- it looked like it was staring at the way you held Heisenberg's sleeve tightly- it was unnerving.
"This is the person I was telling you about" Heisenberg spoke roughly- like he did when you first met him- like he didn't care how his voice sounded to someone else- yet a hint of comfort behind it- as if the person meant something to him- in a way.
"This is Y/N"
"And this. This is Donna Beneviento. One of the other lords I told you about" Heisenberg spoke slowly- to make sure you could catch the words properly- the sound of his slow voice the woman turned to face him faster then you saw her move a second ago. Like she was caught of guard "She's going to help you. Remember I told you that"
He turned to face the woman. Thinking to himself. "Can we talk real quick Donna." Nodding her head he turned to you
"Stay here" you let go of his sleeve so he could leave.
Heisenberg left you with the odd looking doll while the veiled woman trailed after him into another room. Looking back down at the doll at your feet you blinked slowly at it- unsure of how it got so close or what to do now.
"Aren't ya gonna say anything?"
Blinking confused you furrowed your eyebrows looking around the room for the voice you were alone minus the doll. Pulling your pants you looked down- the doll was moving?
"Hey down here" kneeling down to face her properly the doll cackled loudly causing you to flinch a bit. "Names Angie. Your uh... hm" taping her finger to the side of her head in thought "Oh! Y/N! Right. Totally didn't forget about that" Angie spoke facing you again.
"..Doll?"
"Yes Captain Obvious. I am a doll" Angie spoke sarcastically- if she had the ability to move her eyes or had eyelids she's be rolling them. She fell silent for a moment as if something took over her before snapping out it. "Sorry..." Mumbling she looked like a toddler that was just scolding for doing something she shouldn't have.
Heisenberg and the woman came back into the room a minute later. Standing up straight you watched as Heisenberg went towards you. Placing a hand on your shoulder
"Well I'll be off now." Noticing the sad look on your face "now don't be like that. I told you already. She's nice" patting you on the Arm he sigged "I already told her don't worry. She knows talking isn't something you can do very well yet."
"... I'll check in on you once a month." And with that he was gone.
Leaving you with the woman you forgot the name of and Angie the doll.
Silence filled the room- turning to face the two in silence you studied the woman infront of you as she did the same.
"Call me Donna" a soft voice called out from the veiled woman- it sounded unused for sometime- you were glad your hearing was way better then it used to or you may have missed it
-
The months that followed started off slow. The friendship between you and Donna- she along with Angie would do the talking mostly. Angie mostly. Donna would ask you how your morning was- ease you into small easy conversations patiently waiting for your response even if it took a while giving the missuse of your own fixed throat.
Angie on the other hand- would bombard you with questions and other words you couldn't make sense of- but she never asked anything other then a yes or no questions yet- dispite your physical warnings Angie loved to dangle from your neck or arms- always loved to way you rushed to a table for her to proper stand to get off-
She never did.
She'd continue to cling to you like a Koala to a tree until Donna would come to take her off of you herself- then she'd hiss like a cat each time when it'd happen. You were just glad dispite her clinging to you- Angie she'd be gentle with the stitching- never touching them more then necessary
-
Talking lessons got easier to do because of how patient they both were. How the lessons started slow- then slowly got harder. They'd always encourage you into saying the words you wanted even when you failed to form a proper sentence- they'd congratulate you- something told you if it was anyone else Angie would cackle loudly at them because of it.
Writing on the other hand took a bit longer giving how harshly you'd hold the pencil. Breaking it each time. Huffing from another break- Donna looked over at you struggling for a moment
"Here" Donna spoke reaching out to your hand- you allowed her to gently pull your fingers a bit from the pencil to hold it more softly yet firmly so it wouldn't fall "like this" she showed you with her own waiting until you grabbed a new none broken one to try again.
Once you did finally hold it with it breaking she nodded her head- smiling under her veil. "Like that" standing up she turned to Angie "now I'm going to go back to this commission. Be good Angie" Donna spoke nodding in your direction again before she left
Humming from the doll was heard as she drew into the paper hurriedly-you on the other hand did the same thing but slow and awkward like it was your first time holding a pencil.
And it was. Technically.
Writing into the book crookedly Angie glanced over humming "Oh like this!" Turning her book around she showed you how she wrote inside the two lines- blinking slowly you nodded leaning over to mimic what she did- once you finished Angie jumped onto the table "CONGRATS! You know what this means-?" Tilting your head to the side again she cackled
"You get a cookie! Come on! Follow me"
It's been quiet in the living room. Too quiet. Donna looked up at the clock and thought- there hasn't been a noise for the past minute. Suspicious. Raising from her seat she set the needle down before turning to go into the room.
Her suspicion was correct neither of you were in the room. Huffing she glanced around before hearing the attempted whispers from Angie in the kitchen. Slowly she walked towards it. She watched silently as you knelt down beside Angie
"Come on you big log. Just pick me up I'll get it and bam! Cookie" Angie stated as if it was the most obvious plan "foul proof. Donna won't know" moving to pick her up you stopped- Donna watched as you furrowed your eyebrows in thought- she didn't move. She stayed still even when you did get the confidence to pick Angie up gently, in a soft way. Smiling she backed away.
Donna never saw you both steal a cookie that night.
Or the next morning.
-
"C-.. cookie" you mumbled for the first time beaming in happiness once you said the word. Donna looked over from her tea humming in question- pointing up towards the jar you spoke again "cookie?" You spoke awkwardly.
"Go ahead. But thats the last one until dessert" Donna spoke softly watching as you turned and grabbed the jar. You've come along way from how you were when you first met. Your speech is getting better too which is good. Donna can't wait go see how far you go- she smiles at the thought. Going back until a tap on the table beside her caught her attention looking up she saw you holding a cookie out to her
"Yes? I said you can have one" Donna confirmed turning to face you properly- growing confused once you shook your head.
"Yours" nudging the cookie towards her. Placing a hand out towards you- she grabbed the cookie silently before staring at it.
"Thank you"
You smiled making her breath stop. No. This isn't good- Donna's face flushed underneath her veil. That damn smile of yours- that kind smile she fell for.
..fell for?
What the hell?
Where did that come from? She wasn't supposed to fall for you- she couldn't. Wouldn't she didn't deserve that. The kind person you were stumped her- how could she fall for you? The gentle nature of who you are would be tainted by the monster she is- the cruel irony of the situation- the ability she possessed and had done to people she's cared about before- she would do the same for you.
She would hurt you. It was a miracle she hasn't done so yet.
"Donna?" A soft voice brought her back to the present. Looking away from the cookie to you- the concerned look on your face brought heat to her face- flustered she cleared her throat
"Hm? Oh sorry" clearing her throat again "I got lost in thought there" smiling under her veil- she was glad it was there or you'd see her red face
Angie gaged teasingly in the background at the two of you
-
You felt weird the last couple weeks. You knew what this feeling was- you felt it before. But that was when you were alive- not.. not whatever you are now. It was a before feeling- something you expressed once you gained the confidence to do so.
Now your not sure you can.
"Come on now. It'll be fine." Heisenberg spoke on one of your weekly walks together. He walked side by side with you. Signature cigarette no where to be seen.
"No. It can't work."
She is alive.
You are not.
That's what you came to the conclusion too- it wouldn't be fair to her. Be fair to love her while your not human. You were never ashamed of what you became but in some ways. Like this. Your ashamed. Ashamed of what you can't give her.
Like this.
You wish you were really human.
You wished you could openly admit to yourself on your feelings vocally- not just think it. Think of the impossible. Of romantic walks with her- holding hands in a romantic way with her. Kissing her. Loving her. It's such a normal feeling no one can help but you felt selfish for it.
Your inlove with Donna Beneviento and you know you can never ever tell her. No matter how much you wanted to.
"Just tell her" Heisenberg spoke already knowing the answer "it's better to know for sure. And hey- if it works I know one thing for sure" giving him a confused look he grinned
"I know you'll treat her right"
-
You never outwardly stated you were trying to court Donna- nor did you really notice you were exactly doing so.
Donna didn't either but she assumed what you did was friend thing.
Angie hated it. She sat watching the two of you flirting- and neither of you realized you were? You were holding hands for fucks sake. And Donna was referring to you as those annoyingly cute nicknames every now and again.
Why don't you two just kiss already.
Angie froze. She had an idea
-
It took weeks to somewhat beg Donna to take the three of you down to the dock- but in the end it will be worth it- at least that's what Angie thought. She had the whole thing planned. She just needed the perfect time to strike.
It was a warm day- the three of you sat at the docks for some lunch.
The two of you spoke of things Angie didn't care to listen. She just wanted the plan to happen already. Angie just needed to be patient.
Something she isn't.
"Angie take that stick out of your mouth. Don't eat that" Donna spoke facing Angie. Grumbling something coherent Angie took it out. The thing covered in small doll like bites before throwing it.
"I wanna look at the fishes." Angie spoke- she ran out of patience. She can't sit and watch- whatever the hells happening between Donna and you. Standing she rushed close to the edge but far enough away to not be spotted if someone was there as well. "Well? You two coming?"
She watched you both stand to go to the edge of the deck. Her plan was in motion.
Angie placed the stick closer to Donna's foot- the romantic idea coming into play. She would fall- you'd catch her and boom you two will kiss. Angie giggled to herself- it's foil proof. Nothing will go wrong.
Until it did go wrong.
Donna took a step back- turning her foot slid underneath- gasping loudly- you turned without a second thought grabing her arm you pulled her towards you before she fell- you held Donna there for a moment before you heard it. The sound you never wanted to hear. She hissed in pain. Letting go you jumped back watching Donna rub her arm slowly- in pain. Panic settled in.
You hurt her.
You hurt the woman you love
How could you do such a thing? You started to lose your breath. Breathing hard- panicking. Donna's head shot up sharply- she froze. She took in your panicked state. The way you held your hands close to your chest The terror- the fear. The guilt. "Y/N" she spoke your name slowly. She took a step forward. You took one back. She froze her hand reached out to try to touch yours-
"DON'T."
Your voice shocked you both- you've never risen your voice at her- or anyone before. "Don't touch me. I- I don't what to hurt you again." Donna's heart broke once she heard you. She put her arm back to help comfort you
"You didnt-"
"Yes. I did. Look at your arm. I-" gulping- tears pooled at your eyes. Can you even cry? Were you allowed that after what you did? You needed to leave. Run and hide. Be away from what you did. And so you did.
"I'm sorry"
You ran
-
It took a moment for Donna to snap out of it. Snap out of the shock of you yelling- the flinching away from her to fully realize what really happened. Once it clicked in her head she ran as fast as she could back to the house. Of course you'd freak out. You were always worried of hurting someone- hurting her. Keeping touches at a minimum- only taps or handholding- but you accidentally grabbed her rougher then usual.
Running into the house she went room to room to try and find you. Her nerves were shot. She felt sick to her stomach for not comforting you as soon as she realized what happened.
Room to room. She couldn't find you- tears started to fall. Did you leave her? Because of what you thought you did? Please.
It all started to be a blur- her sight blured from the tears and nausea she felt. Her breath became ragged- uneven.
Where were you?
She ran to her workshop looked head to toe for you.
You weren't there
-
It started off slow. Donna eased you into holding hands to grow more comfortable with touching- to hold someone's hand and not feel like your hurting them. Not that you would purposely
"Like this" Donna spoke softly- reaching over to hold your hand in such a soft way- resting her palm up on hers until she slowly closed her hand over yours- waiting for you to do the same. Brushing her thumb against your hand she watched your face flush- a soft smile appeared on both your faces.
"See? I knew you could do it" she hummed softly as you copied her brushing your thumb against her hand back. Her face red under her veil from the small yet soft interaction
"you won't hurt me"
Yet you did.
You did hurt her- grab her arm- enough for her to hurt. To possibly bruise. Break even if you didn't stop.
Curing up in the corner you sobbed- you could hear her running around calling for you. But you can't. You can't face Donna- not after what you did. Hear her begging for you to come out.
You can't. Not now.
Rubbing your eyes harshly you sobbed- the Grey around the eyes darkened from how harshly you wiped the tears away. Biting your lip from crying out- you didn't want her to find you. Sniffling you listened to figure put where she was.
It was silent.
Looking up- you froze, you saw Donna panting heavily in the doorway- watching you. Possibly judging you from behind her veil- you weren't sure but you wouldn't blame her. Walking towards you slowly to not spook you more then you already were.
"Y/N" Donna called out quietly relief escaping her as if she'd blink and you'd be gone. Kneeling down infront of you she stared silently. "Your ok.." holding her hands out to you- she slowly inched closer to you.
"No- I don't" you stuttered- freaking out. Looking away from Donna you came close to crying again "I don't want to hurt you again"
"You won't"
No hesitation. Donna knew you didn't mean to- it was an accident. Seeing you like this- broke her. She knew how you felt about accidentally hurting her- or anyone. "Don't." Putting her hand up to stop you from talking "Its the truth. I'm not mad or anything."
"You didn't mean it"
You broke. Sobbing into your hands before hands pulled them away from your face- then being pulled into her arms. Resting against Donna's front she held you silently as you sobbed into her. Slowly- you put your hands up to hold her as well. Before you let them drop against her side.
She can forgive you- but you can't.
You want to hold her back- but you can't risk it.
"Its ok" Donna whispered rubbing your back "you didn't mean to. It's ok" she held you as you sobbed- brushing her hands acrossed your back gently she brought them to the top of your head- running her fingers along your scalp as gently as she could- she waited until you were done crying against her to pull you up to look in your face.
"Donna-"
"No." She interrupted stern but kind "you grabbed my arm yes. But it was to help me up- not to hurt me. I am fine. We are fine." Brushing her thumb on your arm- she waited watching you incase you were to object- knowing how stubborn she'd be you stayed silent. It wouldn't be a quick thing to forgive yourself for- but you know deep down- it wasn't your fault.
You just felt like it was. But right here- in Donna's arms you couldn't help but see it her way- how she comforted you on what you did. Even by accident- she'd always forgive you.
Bringing your arms around her waist you pulled her into a hug- she did the same- smiling under her veil as she did.
-
Two weeks have past from that interaction- nothing changed minus Donna holding your hand more often. Snuggling into your side during movie nights(Angie dangling from the top dresser like the weirdo she is), holding your arm on walks more often- like she was making sure you weren't gonna run off or something
The sight infront of you made you stop- Donna stood drinking tea in the kitchen- without her veil. Your face flushed a bit- as you grew more confident to touching her again more often she has been trying to be more comfortable without her veil- something she insisted was fair no matter how much you tried to convince her otherwise
It wasn't the first time you've seen her without her veil- it wasn't going to be the last either- but each time it was like a world wind of emotions hitting you- each time you were almost always caught staring at her face blushing- causing Donna to flush as well. You've grown used to how expressive she is with her hands- but not how expressive her face is.
Everytime she was nervous or excited- she'd bite her lip- just like she does when shes working on the dolls- rare times she allows you in- and without her veil- she'd bite her lip in concentration- a small smile when she finally finished the final stitch- before moving onto the painting.
Dinner was different too- the way she licked her lips when she at something and didn't feel like getting a napkin- always caused you to flustered in your seat- and her smile. It was nothing like you'd ever imagined- it was so much more gorgeous then you dreamed of- how relaxed she got then smiling after- if your heart could beat fast or flutter it would everytime you saw it.
"-ace?"
Blinking you looked at Donna who refused to look at you in the eyes looking to the side shyly- shifting slightly she glanced at you- "is- Is there something on my face-" she repeated nervously biting her lip
"Yes- no- wait-" stumbling over your words you glanced around the room "No- there isn't. I'm sorry I uh- your just very pretty" scratching the back of your neck it was silent for a couple minutes
".. you don't need to lie"
Looking over quickly- Donna had a look of sadness on her face- her hand went up to the mass that took her right eye
"No. Your a beautiful woman Donna" before she could respond you took a step forward slowly towards her "Your scar is gorgeous too. It tells a story. Like all markings on bodies do. And I feel just like your personality- you on the outside are a beautiful woman" you awkwardly spoke- it wasn't something that could make her confidence right away- but maybe one day it will.
Reaching your hands to her face- she allowed you to cradle her face in your hands- you smiled softly- caressing the mutated eye as softly as you could- "you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on" you spoke without hesitation- Donna's face flushed darkly at the statement- a large grin appeared on her face. Moving forward she hid her face in your neck clinging to your jacket
"Oh- come on now Donna" humming you brought your hands on the small of her back smiling "let me see your beautiful face hun" a sharp breath escaped Donna before a moment she pulled back to look at you shyly. She reached over wrapping her arms around your neck- looking into your eyes she bit her bottom lip gently glancing at yours before looking in your eyes again.
"C-" Donna started- clearing her throat a boost of confidence filled her- "can I kiss you?"
"I'd want nothing more"
She didn't hesitate after getting permission- she brought you close to her brushing her lips against yours gently- pulling back for only a second to get a feel on how to go about it- before she kissed you again. Pouring her love and affection as she can towards you as she did- humming against your mouth sending a vibration causing a noise to escape you- grabing her hips they tightened gently causing her to groan against you. Pulling back Donna rested her forehead against yours- smiling gently at you.
"GOD get a room you two" Angie screeched fake gaging behind Donna- the two of you pulled away flushed but amused
"Maybe I'll kiss them during dinner" Donna thought alot smiling at a gaging Angie who screeched like a rabid animal- running she grabbed Donna's dress pulling it slightly yelling profanities as she did
"NOOO DON'T FUCKING KISS OVER MY SALAD" Angie cursed lowly before freezing under the closed eye smile "...whoops" letting go of her dress Angie took a step back
"Angie."
"NO" Angie yelled running out of the room "NOT THE WATER BOTTLE FUCK IM SORRY- SORRY FOR THAT TOO" With that Angie disappeared
Turning towards you a bashful look appeared on her face "I'm.. sorry about that- I guess Karl taught her one too many curses.. one was more then enough.." Donna mumbled fhe last part. Clearing her throat she looked at you- reaching over to hold your hand "so uh- are we together now-?" Sounding unsure of herself she glanced away shyly
"I'd love nothing more"
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oifaaa · 11 months
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my love. i am obsessed with the arkhamverse so i’m here to say you HAVE to read Arkham Knight Genesis. it’s one of my favorite jason stories ever and it’s only 6 issues so it’s not even like a time commitment <3 it’s so so good as an elseworlds story and you don’t even really have to know a lot about the games to read it <3333
Okay so I just binge read it quickly and realised 2 issues in I had already read the comic before but I don't care bc you are so right Lauren it is such a good read the art work fantastic Jason being evil and competent amazing I desperately need to play this game just to see more of this version of Jason
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