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fangirlingfromdownunder · 1 year

Text

Comfort in His Arms

Summary - Part 19 in the Comfort series

Pairing - Dean Winchester x Reader, Reader x Sam (platonic), Reader x Bobby (father-figure)

Warnings - none

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

A/N - G’day guys, I just wanna start by thanking you for all the likes, reblogs and follows since my last post, I really appreciate it. I hope you like this one too. And remember my inbox is always open for requests or even if you just wanna chat. Until next week, enjoy!

Back in the apartment, Dean is met with Suzy holding a stack of books on purity and abstinence.

“There you are, I thought I’d scared you off.”

“Never. Just had to take a call.”

“Everything okay?”

“Uh, yeah…” His eyes drift back to the DVDs sitting on the cabinet. “Actually, not really…Carmelita.”

Her gaze follows his and her eyes go wide in shock. “So, you've seen my...work. Listen, I don't blame you if you want to be assigned a new counsellor. I-I get it.”

“No. No, no. Are you- are you kidding me? I mean, you're- you're a freaking legend.”

“No! I-I am -- I'm not that girl anymore. I moved here. I changed my name. That girl was- was horrible.”

“Listen, uh, Suzy, I've seen a lot of awful things, the stuff of nightmares, okay? But you- you're the good dreams. And nobody in Hartford knows?”

“Yeah, what am I supposed to say? Oh, yeah, hey, I used to be a porn star. Let's pray?”

“Well... They do not appreciate you. I mean... the things you can do- the scene with the tacos. My g-let’s just say that was a fun one to reenact…”

“Yeah.”

“Made me want to join a mariachi band just to be near you.”

“Well, you are now.”

“I am, aren't I?”

“You're not like... the other guys in town, are you? You're kind of a... a bad boy.” She moves in close wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I don't know. Why don't you ask me that in Spanish?”

“Eres un Chico malo?”

“Sí.” She closes the gap between their lips, pulling him close.

He pulls her head in and hungrily kisses her back. After a moment he pulls back suddenly, “Shit! Shit! I can’t do this! Shit! I’m sorry.”

“Sorry, you just got reborn today and I’m already ruining you. Look, this was a mistake. You should go.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.” He quickly leaves the apartment and walks down the street as it starts to rain. He pulls out his phone and calls Y/N’s number. It goes straight to voice mail, he tries multiple times and leaves a number of apologetic texts begging her to call him. He walks for a few more minutes before his phone starts to ring. He answers quickly not caring to check the ID.

“Y/N? Baby! I’m so sorry! I-”

“Dean?”

“Sammy! Hey.”

“You gotta come to Peoria.”

“What’s going on? I’m working a case with Bobby. Anyway, what are you doing in Peoria, you’re supposed to be at the Bunker with Y/N.”

“I know. I promise to explain everything. You just gotta get here.”

“Bobby has the car, I’m on my way to the library to meet him. You can explain while I walk.”

“It’s about Y/N, Dean. She’s gone.”

“Gone? What do you mean gone? She went to Peoria? Alone?”

“Not exactly. Listen, Bobby and I had a plan. You work a case with him while I work one with Y/N. So, we came to Peoria. But we had a fight and she left.”

“You had a fight?” Dean arrived at the library and leans against the Impala as he sends a quick text to Bobby to meet him outside ASAP. “Have you tracked her phone? The car?”

“That’s the thing, her phone and the car are still here. I think something took her when she went outside. I was inside and then there was a bright blue flash in the car park and when I got outside she was gone.”

“You let something take my girl?!”

“I didn’t let it, Dean. She’s a hunter too, I thought she’d be okay.”

“A hunter who’s in recovery from surgery and who wasn’t thinking straight. I hope you’re damn proud of yourself.”

“She’s not just yours, Dean. I love her too. Look, I’m not the villain here. Just get here and help me find her.”

Dean hangs up and gets in the car as Bobby hands him the keys. Bobby gets in the passenger seat as Dean speeds off.

“Drop me at the motel. Jody and I got this one. You and Sam get our girl back. Let me know if I can do anything to help.”

“Blue light, Sam said there was a blue light. Same as our survivor here. Could it be the same thing? How can it be in two places at once.”

“Nearest I can tell we’re dealing with Vesta, Roman Goddess of the Hearth. She needs virgin sacrifices. Unless they went and got reborn today, she doesn’t fit the profile.”

Dean pulls into the motel parking lot and pulls out his phone in desperation. He texts Sam asking if they went to church today. “He said they didn’t visit any churches.”

“So, it’s something else. Jody and I’ll gank this God and then meet you boys in Peoria,” Bobby says as he gets out of the car. Before he shuts the door he says, “She’s a fighter, Dean, she’s gonna be alright. She has to be.”

As Bobby steps back, Dean takes off towards the highway at full speed.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

It’s the early hours of the morning when Dean pulls into the motel where Sam’s waiting for him. He jumps out of the car and bangs on the door. “Sammy!”

Sam opens the door quickly and then sits back down at the table in front of his laptop and mess of paperwork.

“We gotta find her, Sam. I swear to you if we don’t-”

“I know. I want to find her just as bad.”

Dean snatches the files and reads over them as he sits at the end of what was Y/N’s bed. That’s when he noticed all her bag sitting beside him untouched. He opens it and rifles through her stuff finding her knife and gun at the bottom. He twirls the knife in his hands admiring the etching of their initials. “She’s out there alone and unarmed, Sam. We gotta find her. I can’t lose her. Not like this. I can’t.”

“I know. We’re gonna find her. Just help me research.”

Dean pulls Y/N’s laptop on top of his lap and starts to research with Sam. When the sun’s starting to rise Sam says, “I'm pretty sure of it now. We're hunting a Djinn.”

“A freaking genie took my girl? You mean she’s in some abandoned warehouse somewhere being drained of her blood.”

“At least we can find her now. There’s an old abandoned factory on the outskirts of town. She’s gotta be there.”

Dean slams the laptop shut and tucks Y/N’s knife and gun into his jacket before standing up and rushing outside and into the car. Sam follows.

As Dean speeds off Sam says, “I wonder what she wished for?”

“Once I would’ve said I knew. But now, I don’t know. And I don’t know if she’ll fight to come back. When I got caught that time I fought hard to come back. I couldn’t blame her if she couldn’t find a reason to fight it. To want to come back to me.”

“She loves you, Dean. Pretty much unconditionally. She’ll fight for you. We’re gonna get her back.”

It’s not long before Dean’s pulling a park in front of an old dilapidated factory. They practically jump out of the car, quickly gathering weapons from the boot before making their way inside cautiously. They split up and search the rooms down the opposite ends of the hall. After searching five rooms and coming up empty, panic starts to settle in. Dean can’t stop his heart from pounding. The thought of losing her drives him to keep going. Searching room after room, tearing them apart. As Dean enters a dirty and crusty store room a bloodcurdling scream echoes through the halls. It’s a sound that breaks his heart and sends him into a fury – he’d know that scream anywhere. He sprints down the hall in the direction of the sound, Sam meeting him at the door. Dean pulls out his gun and takes the safety off as Sam opens the door in front of him.

As soon as they enter, you start to run over to them. But your muscles are weak and you only make it a few steps before you trip. “Dean? Sam?” Dean catches you before you hit the cold cement.

“We’re here, Sweetheart. I’m here. You’re safe.” Dean engulfs you in his arms carefully. He takes in your pale skin and sunken eyes – the telltale signs of blood loss. He picks you up bridal-style and begins to carry you towards the door. As Sam opens the door you’re met with the ugly tattooed face of the man you’d met the night before. You burrow your face into Dean’s shoulder as Sam reaches out and stabs the djinn in the heart. You start to cry and Dean pulls you tighter to his chest.

“It’s over. You’re safe. I got you.” He keeps whispering reassurances to you as he carries you out to the car. He climbs into the backseat with you and continues to hold you close. After a few minutes Sam returns, having searched the room for any of the other victims. He takes the keys and drives back into town to the local hospital. Where the boys would muscle their way through this, Dean insists on getting you checked out, especially after the pregnancy.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

A few hours later you’re sitting in the motel bed in Dean’s arms. You’re feeling much better after getting some blood, fluids and painkillers pumped into your system.

“So what was it like? What’d you wish for?”

“Like you don’t know.”

“After what I said to you last night I really don’t.”

“That hurt, I won’t lie, and we’ve got a lot to talk about but I still love you, Dean. I just hope you didn’t mean what you said.”

“I meant some of it. I meant what I said about you making me feel safe and happy. I meant it when I said I should tell you how much I love you more often. And honestly, I have felt lost since...But the rest…the rest I regret with everything I have.”

“We had a little boy, Sammy Jr., he looked just like a miniature you and he loved Scooby Doo as much as you do. And I was pregnant with a little girl. And we were happy. Married even. The whole nine yards.”

“But?”

“We were too happy. We didn’t fight. And we didn’t hunt…”

“Still not seeing an issue. I thought that was your dream. Get out, start a family-”

“Sam and Bobby died helping us get out of the life. I wanna get out Dean, but not at their expense.”

He nods and hugs you tighter to his chest. “So, how’d you escape?”

“I drowned myself in the lovely bath fake you drew for me.”

“Too bad this divey old place doesn’t have a tub. When we get home, I’ll draw you a bath and we can enjoy it together without drowning. But for now, why don’t you take a nap? I promise I’ll be here when you wake up and we’ll talk more then.”

You nod and snuggle into his embrace as he kisses the top of your head.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Tag list: (Leave a like or comment on this post or let me know below if you want to be added to the tag list for this series)

@bitchwitch1981, @muhahaha303, @justrealizedimmascifygurl, @mcdowell-123, @leigh70, @marvelsmarauder, @losa12308, @tapedeck-hearts, @luvjaida, @peachtxa, @ambearsstuff, @shadow-of-a-cloud, @slut-for-buck, @iprobablyshipit91, @sassy-pelican, @fallenlilangel99

#dean winchester x reader #dean x you #dean winchester #supernatural #spn #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff

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bonesandthebees · 14 days

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im alive (questionable) and im finally back (real) and gods does it feel great to finally read the new rose chapter

I did NOT realise just how MUCH I missed it but DAMN

the crimeboys bonding is going great and theyre doing good in their surviving, im so proud of them

poor phil has to deal with the one thing he cannot control and so he ofc focuses on what he can control, control freak

im enjoying reading about him A LOT, hes so intriguing to me, like yeah so far hes a good character id say, but we get a peak at what he could be capable of and are slowly learning where his priorities and loyalties and limits lie and oh gosh is it fun to watch

and ofc THE BIG MOMENT OF THE CHAPTER: friendly nicknames privileges

and like its a really important and sweet moment in itself and ive been excited for it ever since learning there will be different official names like nikanna and willum and oh did it NOT DISAPPOINT like yesssssss letsgo they are FRIENDS and they let the other call them by their NICKNAMES and it shows how much CLOSER to got and the TRUST and just AHSHSHJSDHBSBSHS YESSSSSSS

and it gets even BETTER bc thats not all, this is a recurring theme with you, whether its a fae name that carries power, a mermaid name that signals family like in last years mermay, knowing a name that reveals the secret identity in superhero aus coming with trust but also responsibility, official and personal names of royals like rose and stars showing friendship or in the other way loss of it, and in glass the reclaiming of self identity thru the reclaiming of name and letting go of a title (which btw the coolest and most genius work with narration ive ever read) you just keep on giving names value in your stories and especially the act of sharing them, the one close to you, with others as a sign of love, even just a little bit and it gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME and the fact its a recurring theme gives it even more meaning, makes it get to me even more

and like its something that happens even in real life in some ways but we often overlook just how much love is hidden in it and I love that it gets to shine like this in your stories

I know we talked about your love for giving names more meaning like this before but I just needed to scream about it again bc IT STILL GETS TO ME

it feels so good to have you back in my inbox (and my ao3 comments) with walls of text like this jiksvokrat

they're doing shockingly well!! shoutout to tommy's survival knowledge wilbur would've been dead by morning without him

I'm so glad you're enjoying the phil pov. I love showing his control issues and how his mind works. he's such a calculating character and I have so much fun writing him

I'm so glad you like my recurring thing with names. I really don't know where it came from, I never had this whole thing with names before I started writing mcyt fic. I think I just really liked it both when I wrote that first fae au fic so many years ago and then when I was writing clinic and there was obviously the whole secret identity thing going on that I just realized I liked the theme and decided to use it where I could.

I just think the act of sharing your name, your identity with someone else can be so vulnerable and full of trust!! I guess this translates to every day stuff as well. like when one of my childhood friends came out as trans to me I felt so happy when she trusted me with her new name and identity (I was one of the first people she came out to). or as a less intense example, part of why I like having an online nickname is that it feels strangely nice to have a name that you guys here can use that's me but also a bit separate from me, but then I have my real name which is reserved for the people I'm closest to (though of course most of my internet friends who know my real name still use bee for me which I don't mind at all). I guess it's kind of like having a public persona vs a private persona. idk, I guess I just really feel the importance of names so I like including it as a theme in my writing.

I'm just very glad you guys aren't getting sick of the whole name giving thing yet lol

#ask #jiksvokrat #rose ch 8

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polyhexian · 6 months

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Darius frantically googling childcare tips in the runaway au, hoping to god that the Emperor's Coven isn't monitoring his scroll. how do you take care of a child? how do you reassure a child? how do you feed a - okay actually that one's easy, Hunter has his father's painfully simple taste in food, if his looks didn't make it obvious that he's Jasper's son the fact that he considers salt a spice would be proof enough.

Eberwolf is like, I can give you some tips but they're all gonna be based on raising ratworm litters and Darius is like STOP.

Hunter is probably kind of an easy kid to take care of in most respects, tho. like you said, he's had to become independent. self-sufficient. I feel like a lot of his childhood he was kinda like a fawn - like, a mother deer will leave her baby in a place she deems safe and hidden, and the fawn will lay there completely still for HOURS until mom gets back. Jasper's definitely had to do that with Hunter, except as Hunter has grown older Jasper has likely left him alone for longer periods of time, so Hunter gets to wander around a bit while waiting for his dad to get back. Swipe some food, maybe work some odd jobs for some snails, visit the library and see if he can finish a book before they have to move on again.

so he doesn't complain easily, and he doesn't really get bored the way a regular kid might, he's used to either sitting perfectly still or going off to find something to take up his time. he probably also gets more mileage out of entertainment items Darius gets for him. Darius is like "uhhhh I found some crappy crayons and some paper, sorry, best I can do on short notice" and Hunter is just like, oh, cool! cuz he's rarely had time/space/resources to sit down and color on paper.

Darius is still fumbling his way through this tho. one night he wakes up to find a sniffling Hunter climbing into bed with him and he starts to panic like OH GOD IS HE SICK I DON'T WANNA DO GERMS BUT I WILL IF I HAVE TO except no, the kid just misses his dad. Darius surreptitiously grabs his phone to type in "what to do when a kid crawls into bed with you crying" except to his everlasting horror he did NOT type that into Ghoul-gle, he typed it into a text message and now Eberwolf is responding like DARIUS ARE YOU SERIOUS and Darius is like I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO and Eber is like JUST HUG HIM THE WAY YOU'D NEVER HUG A BABY RATWORM.

Rjjsjsjd Darius trying to figure out how to care for this kid via eberwolf describing how to care for various baby animals

Yeah yeah yeah. Hunter is a baby faun. He's very good at hiding and he's very good at following instructions. Jasper has to weigh a lot of risks. Is it riskier to steal what he needs, or is it riskier to earn it by bounty hunting or selling something or what have you? And things just get riskier as Hunter gets older. Another timeline where jasper can't give hunter the childhood he wants him to have, but he's going to make sure he has one that he makes it out of, at least. He would rather have an unhappy adult than a dead child.

Hunter is a little fuckin monkey. He's always stealing shit. Just to prove he can. I love this little goblin version of hunter, a highly skilled little artful dodger.

When I was a teenager and my dad left it was pretty hard on my family. My brother has down's syndrome and autism; he's nonverbal, low-functioning, legally dead/blind. So he has a lot of trouble communicating effectively. He was like nine around this time and yeah, normal stuff was no problem. He knew how to let me know he was hungry or he needed me to come hit play on his DVD or something- assistive communication devices were and I think still are thousands of dollars lol and my folks and I were eating out of the food bank so. Yeah. Not happening.

In any case, the point is that one night my brother started crying. Like. Really crying. Crying in a way id never heard before. And obviously my mom came but I drove him to the hospital and we spent all night in the ER while he screamed and sobbed and they did test after test after test trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong.

Nothing was wrong. He was completely fine, physically. The end "diagnosis" was... Our dad had been gone three months and it was finally hitting him that he might not be coming back.

Just thinking about poor little hunter trying to cope with the idea his dad might not be coming back because he doesn't know where he is or what happened to him; he's just gone and it hurts! Reminded me of that night (can you believe I had to go to school the next day lol)

All Darius can do is hold this sobbing little guy and tell him that at least HE isn't going anywhere because... What else can he say? It's going to be okay? Jasper is going to be okay? Jasper will come back? He doesn't know that. He doesn't know any of that. All he can do is his own best. And hunter just :(

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pluralsword · 2 years

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If we had a nickel for every time two highly skilled transformer warriors with back stacks experienced medical malpractice from a high ranking antagonist that changed their physical form we’d have two nickels but it is super weird that it’s happened twice.

And even weirder when you consider that the old forged form of the canonical trans woman’s one is based off the 1980s reformat design of the g1 iteration of the character who went through this in 2003...

A bunch of trans folks including us talk with good reason about how Jhiaxus forcibly assigned trans gal Arcee her first lanky bot mode and car shape including her alt mode based on his idea of what a woman was (and not entirely her own wants) and with unnecessary procedures while conscious. As people who read our stuff like Addendum know we think it’s interesting when we account for the intentional 2012-2018 writing of Arcee as a sapphic trans woman to navigate a unique parallel lens on transmisogyny, medical gatekeeping, androcentrism, imperial progressivism and so forth...

But did you know that in 2003 Starscream forcibly inserted a new alt mode into big thigh Megatron in Dreamwave Armada and it was painful?

WTF Starscream. Internalized transphobia is not a good look for you dear. /j Nor is medical malpractice.

The image in question, this came up during some comic reading with some friends today (please note we use she/her pronouns for Dreamwave Armada Megs because that was the only way our brain could respond to the text with a laugh. Like, years of one of two of Arcee’s canon trans iterations as of 2022 on in our thoughts for years is why probably lmao):

[[ ID: Armada Starscream stabs something into Armada Megatron from behind with a SHHHK! sound, and Megatron screams with an “Arrrgh!.” She turns around and grabs a fearful Starscream by the throat and says: “Why you ungrateful, back stabbing- I should kill you where you stand!”

Megatron reels back in pain, still holding onto Starscream’s neck, who smiles calmly saying: “Relax Megatron. What’s wrong? Don’t you trust me? I just inserted a new download into your system. It should take effect any second now, so stop acting like a paranoid fool... ...and let the download work it’s magic.” End ID. ]]

Anime Armada Starscream was super cool but oh my gods this particular comic Armada Starscream goes on our list of truly the worst.

The weirdest thing is before reaching this panel we were joking about how Megatron is drawn with large thighs and said “...is Megatron on estrogens or was [she] just forged this way?” And then we read this.

Also for added ridiculousness IDW1 Jhiaxus and Armada Starscream share a body type. Like yes we could be talking about the autonomy violation of how Aunty en masse assigned modes for infiltration on Earth in G1 but at least- least the bots on both sides were unconscious for that.

If we ever get an Armada Megatron toy we are giving her two swords and that is that. It feels extra weird because we grew up with the anime and had no clue that this was happening separately.

Why Megatron x Arcee fanfics aren’t T4T we have no idea /lh /the psychic damage of dreamwave armada at least it’s not g1 dreamwave /wtf

It’s really really nice that later parts of IDW1 along with the whole of IDW2/IDW2019, the Transformers TTRPG, and Earthspark embraced a body autonomy narrative for alt mode that the three in their own ways (Earthspark the most blatantly, closely followed by IDW2) describe as an aesthetic realization, but that kind of reflection is something that crops up much earlier in transformers (a story for another time) while other related things were still being struggled with, that is, gender writing, which we personally think the growth of helped to inform how alt mode writing currently is.

Anyway, that’s another pluralsword ramble.

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onlyyyariii · 1 year

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The Interview Series

Part Seven

So so so excited for this! In this chapter we’re gonna see Ethan and Grayson. How are the boys doing in Australia? Let’s find out!

We have a bit of a time skip for this. They are moved into the Aussie house and just proceeding with their everyday lives. Liana is still in Jersey with Lisa and Cameron. Liana and Ethan have been talking almost everyday, Grayson’s approach is to leave Liana alone and give her the time she needs. Time skip new date: August 20th. Not choosing a year but it’s been about a month.

Indent indicates Liana’s voice on the phone call(s)

“Grayson! GRAYSONNNNN-”

Grayson walks out the front door, “What the fuck do you want Ethan?”

“Some girl is here.”

Grayson rounds the corner towards the garage and smiles.

“Madi hey, what are you doing here?”

The girl smiles, “I texted you but I never got a response back. We were supposed to go to the park this morning.”

“Oh shit! I forgot I’m so sorry. I’ll be ready in ten. Wait for me?”

She smiles again, “Of course.”

Grayson watches her before walking back into the house. Ethan’s head peeks around the corner.

“And who might you be?”

The girl jumps, startled by the sudden question, “I’m sorry I didn’t see you. I thought you’d have already left.”

“I asked you a question.” Ethan repeats. He was getting a bad vibe from this girl.

“Madison Morrison, pleased to meet you.”

“Ethan, Grayson’s twin. Likewise.”

“Grayson didn’t tell me he had a twin. You guys don’t look that much alike.”

Ethan scoffs, “Seems like Gray didn’t tell you a lot of things.”

Madison pouts, “What do you mean? We only just started working out together a few weeks ago.”

“Look, Grayson and I both came here to re evaluate our feelings for someone. She should be here any day now,” he’s interrupted by his phone ringing.

He grabs his phone and looks at the caller id, “Speak of the devil.”

“Hey Liana!”

“Hey E, how’s everything been?”

Ethan glances at Madi before responding, “It’s been strange for sure.”

“Strange? How so?”

“Oh, just like being here with Grayson again. Meeting new people.”

“Meeting new people? You guys are dating around?”

“I don’t know if I would consider it dating. Maybe like making friends and waiting for you.”

“Oh okay, well I got to go help Lisa but can you tell Grayson to pick up the phone next time? He hasn’t answered my calls in days.”

“I’ll make sure he gets the message.”

“Thanks E, I’ll see you guys soon. All love.”

She hangs up the phone and Ethan smiles. All love, yeah he loves her alright. But what the hell was Grayson doing messing around with another girl? Should he have told Liana about it? What if she really is just a work out buddy?

“Hey I’m ready!” Grayson yells, coming out the door.

He has all of his gym stuff in his hands and Ethan watches as Madison points to her car and hands him a key smiling.

“Well Grayson and I are going to go work out at the park, he should be home some time around seven. Have fun, it was nice meeting you Ethan!”

“Madi let’s go!”

“Coming!”

She waves good bye to Ethan and saunters off to her car. Her walk is sexy, he’ll give her that.

*******

What’s this? An update for the interview series that was left in my drafts? You’re kidding 🤣

Part Three of the Avatar Series is almost finished, will be consistently writing it over the next hour and a half.

Until next time~ Ari 🤍

#ari’s fic recs #oc #ari’s masterlist #grayson dolan #dolan twins #ethan dolan #lianamariesummers #madisonrosemorrison

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builder051 · 2 years

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I'll take #5 for the asks. Thanks!

5 times you did the right thing

1--This is kind of one thing but also two things at the same time: going to grad school and subsequently not staying long enough to finish a degree--That lets employers, etc. know that I have the academic skills to be accepted to an exclusive program, yet I entered the career (not just job, but career) market young and with a hugely competitive corporation. I can't work at that level anymore due to chronic illness, but having my undergrad degree, grad education experience, and career experience give a solid background in how the adult world works when it comes to having... how to put this...like, understanding the cycle of planning-structuring -materializing-error checking-using product, all whilst communicating with others. A lot of stuff (directing a film, performing an audit, launching a new product, etc), require the same steps/skillset.

2--This is really hard to put into a box in general, and the label of "good choice," or even "choice" at all, while it's probably the best way to define it, almost seems inapplicable. I believe I have relayed some of this before, but, in an absolute nutshell, (this was, like, 2018?) I found myself needing mental health services, and I needed intervention immediately. The clinic I was using for physical health had a mental health NP, but I couldn't see her soon enough, so I just went to a random clinic on my insurance's list of preferred providers. There had been kind of a miscommunication, and I wanted to call my regular GP to make sure she knew what was going on with the psych person I'd gone to, and I really wanted to leave an answering machine message, but OMG they had an answering SERVICE where a human being who had no idea who I was or what I was trying to do answered the phone. That was... not ok. Huge panic attack. I don't want to be triggery or really think about it too much, but it was... probably the worst. ever. But then @xxx-cat-xxx magically appeared on my phone, texting me in real time! I started texting back right away, and I was able to tell her that I was in a terrible state, and with her help and encouragement, I was able to get to bed safely and wake up in the morning. That was...maybe a month or so before I got close with DD? I'm very glad I stuck around to get to experience that.

3--Getting a hamster. Sif, bless her soul, was with me for 2 years and 8 months. I did register her and get her ESA card, but that was mostly because I needed her to fly in-cabin with me. We went to DD's on 31 January 2019 (when it was 0 degrees F, and actually warmer in Antarctica than in Chicago). I'm not sure if it's a me thing, but I do have reason to believe it's a more generalized sensitive, caring people thing, but knowing there's a tiny friend relying on me for food and treats and water and toys gives me at least one thing to live for. I had Livinia for a long time, and training her from wild, neglected-pet behavior to the sweetest social, come-when-called, and even lick -no-bite for tiny kisses... it made me feel so good to share time and love with her. My Mary Hamster, now, is a more independent girl, but she also goes through her clingy-cuddle times when she wants close body heat and nose nuzzles.

4-There was this one time in college (I was living with my parents and being a commuter student); I was sitting on a bench outside the classroom, waiting for the previous class to leave so our class could go in and get settled. My friend S came and sat next to me and showed me this random military ID card he'd found on the floor. My dad, retired officer turned flight school instructor, worked on the military base, so I offered to take it from S and give it to my dad, who could then turn it in to the sensitive material "lost and found" on base. S was like, yeah, sure. He didn't want to have troubles if someone thought he stole it or something. So I gave the ID to my dad when I got home, and, the next time I saw him after that, he said he'd turned it in. I now also have experience working on a military base (as a civilian contractor), and I've sat through some extensive trainings about PII and data sanitization and this, that, and the other. So, in the eyes of the stupid PII checklist, I may have apprehended a terrorist. What I probably did was make some college kid hanging onto their parents' insurance receive a really embarrassing phone call from security forces. But no buildings were blown up in the process.

5-Ok, so, let me just remind you that these 5 things are random and unranked. I might be leaving a lot of stuff out, but this is what I'm feeling right how.

Writing Battle of Troy. I completely played by NaNo rules--nothing pre-written, and every word of the first draft penned (typed) between 01 and 30 November 2018. I actually ran 02 Nov-29 Nov. The novel runs something like 74k words. I wrote a solid bit of Novemetober as well, bringing my total for the month to just over 90k. During that time, I was.... Not well. I had a status migraine (and neither I nor my medical team at that time knew what that was), was experiencing the effects of what's unfortunately a common set of circumstances felt in the older teens and young 20s of individuals with BiPolar disorder and Schizophrenia.

I pretty much never went home. I would just tote my laptop all over the place and go into one of the four or five coffeehouses I knew of, open my draft, and just keep going at it. I was having some stomach issues as well, so a diet of coffee, a winter hat pulled down to my eyebrows, and full investment in Troy's world... It made that stretch of 4 weeks not so bad.

Maybe I should've been hospitalized. Maybe I should've been under observation by...doctors? Police? Parents?

But, I chose book-writing, and nothing caught on fire.

#starbucks sunday

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88088-8 · 1 month

Text

tbh idk how im taking things these days. the way events have developed... I guess now its confirmed that he was talking to other girls before we even broke up. the girls he then, met up with, and brought to our house. I can't say im surprised. im just again, hurt. multiple times while talking, he got louder, and said "I DID NOT BREAK UP WITH YOU FOR LEXI!!!!" like first of all... no one said that. I didn't consider that possibility until you mentioned it. and I know a few times, (more frequently lately)he would be "going to Seans". never invite me to ride, always be vague about the encounter. If I started asking intently, he would always say it was only Sean there.

Well, come to find out. Sean is not some holed up lonely guy. he apparently has relations with multiple of lexis friends..... not just younger women, his daughters age. but mostly strippers, and people from that walk of life. --- Caleb would go there pretty often to drop off to him. he would get a q (he said) if im not wrong. every couple days. at some point in time I do feel like I remember him mentioning Sean getting a full at some point. I even feel like he mentioned him selling to m** and n**** and of course g*****. because I remember saying then, "wouldn't that kind of take most of your cl****s?" and I never heard about that again.

and then there were times that he came in, and would randomly mention l*xi. "oh my god, I saw **** the other day and she said that the kids ........... " I remember there being another time he mentioned her before easter, but I can't remember what he said.

then easter of course. I realized today while in the closet, that the two pairs of shoes that she put in halies easter basket.... they are both size fucking 8. her exact size. you're going to tell me that she just guessed it right????? fuuuck that. A week later. literally, Easter Sunday, then the following Friday night.. FIVE DAYS LATER. he randomly just chills with her. and she happens to get in his car and ride with him to drop stuff at MY HOUSE while im SLEEEEEEPING.

no no no no.

there was more then wtf I know. there was more talking. there are more lies. and I KNOW that bitch will fucking lie till she's beat stupid because she lied to me even after proof sent to her of my accusations. the VIDEO to be exact. that can't be twisted.

fuck it. I need to get on the I don't even care train. realize that I am better then ALL OF THAAAAAT. like wtf . she tried to randomly move in???? shes just THAT crazy? no. She just grabbed your phone and told you to take your pants off? 30 min after you left my FUCKING DRIVEWAY@!@!!!!!! (Saturday morn @ 3:55 am. the video was timestamped)

y'all spent all that night, into the morning together. got back to your place at 6 am. between then and 3pm you picked up her kids, and her bags on bags of things. your telling me... Caleb fucking Garrett just let all that happen and didn't want it to happen????

text me around 3-4pm and tell me you just picked them up because they ALL got kicked out? which you knew was a damn lie. you wanted to get halie?? bring her to the house with a women and her kids after you fucked her in her MAMAS BED? wHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK---- THE fucking bed she sleeps in with youuuuu.

and if it was terrible and she was so annoying, she wouldn't have been there as long as she was. you would have found a way to get her out. even by force. you've done that to me, why wouldn't she get the same or worse treatment by default? instead, you brought her to my house.....

and you wouldn't have been mean to me the entire time you were with her after I found out.... it wasn't until she was takin to the ER and the other girl wanted to go home, you unblocked me that Monday.

at the end of the day, I know you Caleb. when I found an old letter in a book id forgotten about... you said, "IS IT FROM L**I?? TO ME???" with complete excitement? w h a a a t and then we found her book... "did she write that while she was here" "is that to me" when I read out loud a passage she had written. I don't know if she wrote it, or if it was somet"hing she liked and wanted to read again. but you said "is that to me" like uhm no. its about god bro....

it just makes me sad, because this kind of behavior is what held us back from being so much more THE ENTIRE TIME. just fucking tell me dummy, I am so over the "I don't want to hurt your feelings shit"

and the only reason she got out of your house..... is because she had to go to the ER. And for several days, I asked about her, I was actually praying. You told me she hadnt replied because shes not awake. and Sean told you she was not awake yet. (seizure happened Monday) TRUTH WAS: SHE WAS AWAKE THE NEXT DAY. (tuesday)

and y'all were texting. you called her baby on Tuesday. said you were going to come up there. she sent a picture of her hospital food.

then on THAT Wednesday saw her to give her the bags she left behind that Monday. and lied about THAT. said you hadnt seen her at all since the seizure. told me on like Thursday, when I asked how she was (because I thought she was still in a fucking coma) and you said oh she woke up! shes okay... but truth is you had already talked to her, and SEEN HER AGAIN.

like I am such a fucking idiot for even talking to you.

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wildcatofgreen · 2 years

Text

GAH!

She found her footing on the floor, standing straight up. Looked around, then breathed a sigh of relief.

Back home. Though, it seemed like it was late. Juuuudging by the sleepy Sony in her bed. Doesn't the gemerald make a sound when she teleports? Is he really that heavy of a sleeper?

Well, whatever. It's not like she was planning on staying up too much longer anyway. The talk with Tangle was nice, but anything she wanted to act on should probably get done tomorrow. Just makes more sense that way.

Spirits bless that lemur. Who knew talking to another person could be so helpful? Is this why Cory's trying to drill the idea in her brain? Because if so then she gets it, completely.

The gem pulsated a bit. Seemed like a couple things came in. Gueeeeeess she'll do these real quick. Wouldn't hurt, right?

---

She took another look at the folded paper, then smiled, before placing it in her pocket. She'll have to figure out where to keep that later.

Maybe with her diaries? Would probably make sense. Nobody even knows where they are, let alone how to get in them without the key. The key that she threw away, by the way. Claws are so much better than pesky little key--

Beep!

Put a hand to her ear. That's the sign she got a text message, right? But like, from who. She's not the type to text anyone, and most people know that about her.

She'll take out her phone and look--Milla???

alchemistdoggo: Hi Carol! 🐶 Are you okay? You were really upset about getting so many missed calls!

Rolled her eyes. She tapped a response back.

wildcatofgreen: yeah im fine dw about it mills. just didnt wanna miss stuff from those two yknow? kind of my best friend and fiance like theyre priority number uno. alchemistdoggo: No I get it! You were just really super upset about it and you usually only get like that when it's about Lilac. alchemistdoggo: Actually I guess it makes sense now that I think about it. alchemistdoggo: 🤔

...

Huh?

wildcatofgreen: i mean wouldnt you be upset too if somethin happened to purps alchemistdoggo: Of course I would! But you get REALLY upset! 😯 I remember it happening all the time back when we were all living together!

Di... Did it???

She doesn't really remember showing that side of her. Actually, wait, that was immediately after Brevon, wasn't it? If there was any time to be upset about Lilac then it would probably be then.

alchemistdoggo: I think the most upset I've seen you was when you came back from Sonar's World with Sonar! You and Lilac were crying in each other's arms, remember? 😭 alchemistdoggo: Lilac was super off when you were away. I think she was really worried about you! alchemistdoggo: 🤔 Actually she was the same way when I answered your phone today. Do you think she's still worried?

Wait what.

wildcatofgreen: milla wtf did you actually answer my phone? alchemistdoggo: Well I couldn't just let it ring!!! Everyone would be super sad if I did!!! 😢 alchemistdoggo: Actually maybe Lilac wouldn't. She got REALLY mad when I told her you were getting married.

...

What.

wildcatofgreen: fuckin xcuze me dog? alchemistdoggo: Yeah!!! It was really strange! I told her all about it and she started going on a really really long rant. I think she was mad nobody told her sooner. 😢😢😢 alchemistdoggo: I tried to calm her down but she just kept going and going and going! It was really hard! She talks so fast sometimes! 🙁 alchemistdoggo: Did you end up talking to her? I bet she felt SUPER better if you did!

. . .

Oh her fucking stones she fucking fucked it so fucking hard. No no no no no no no no no.

wildcatofgreen: mills what if i told you i hung up on her alchemistdoggo: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 alchemistdoggo: She's going to be sad FOREVER!!!!!!! alchemistdoggo: Did you actually do that????????

Uh.

wildcatofgreen: what no id never cmon mills you know me alchemistdoggo: Oh okay! alchemistdoggo: Lilac also told me that she only has reception because of the place she's at right now! I wanna talk to her a WHOLE BUNCH while she's still able to talk to us! alchemistdoggo: I could add you to a group chat along with Sonar and we could ALL talk to Lilac!!! wildcatofgreen: please dont do that alchemistdoggo: Why? 🤔 wildcatofgreen: lemme talk to her first at least alchemistdoggo: But I thought you already did that. 🤔 wildcatofgreen: are you interrogating me? alchemistdoggo: No. 🙂 wildcatofgreen: lissen dog girl just gimmie a bit to talk to her before doin anythin craze. ill lyk when, ok? alchemistdoggo: Okay! Just do it fast, okay? I don't know how long Lilac's going to stick around there! 🙁 wildcatofgreen: ok. im going to bed now and you should too. alchemistdoggo: I'll go to bed in a minute! Me and Aaa are doing 🧪SCIENCE!🧪 wildcatofgreen: bitch wtf why is he there alchemistdoggo: We made some good progress while researching your gem and we didn't want to stop! You should let us come with you some time we could get a better idea of how it works! 🙂 wildcatofgreen: 50 crystal faire no refunds alchemistdoggo: 😐

...

She fucked it so bad. She fucked it so fucking badly. Stones she's such a terrible FRIEND. FUCK.

She pockets her phone and climbs into bed.

There's a pit in her stomach again. It wasn't going away.

She'll hug her Sony, cuddle with him.

Might have just fucked everything to the stratosphere. And apparently she doesn't have much time to make things right.

Fuck.

There's... not much else she can do, besides worry about it tomorrow.

#carol's cruisings #long time no see dragon girl #carol's adventures #grand alchemist hound

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 2 years

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Life update: Road trip, R's partner, and other junk

Hi again

I know I was just on here the other day but it feels kinda odd to not post everytime I'm taking pills like I was before. Though I won't lie it's been a lot easier. I try to not think as hard on what upset me enough to take em and it's been pretty nice. Ish

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This'll be another long one so apologies in advance. Lot of stuff went on theee last few days

I've split the three major points I was talking in color coded sections.

-Green is rambling about a recent trip I went on

-Purple is thoughts on R's recent breakup with her partner of a little over a year

-Red is health shit I've had going on

(Road trip/Indiana trip as a whole)

Anyway. Last few days been slightly hectic. During that trip in Christmas my mom told me about this trip she'd be going on in July to Indiana and asked if I wanted to tag along. I ofc said yeah cause ill take damn near any excuse to get out this funky ass house annnd that was that. She didn't give details fr and up until like a week ago I didn't even know when we were going.

Thooo due to the funerals a few weeks back and her not really having plans plans for my arrival anyway, i was finna get left at the lodge second as she didn't know anyone that was coming to Indiana and my dad was gonna get a rental to drive me down which my mom didn't wanna put on him. So about 3 days before, she just was like oh you aint going lol. I played it off when I was otp with her but soon as she hung up I took R off hold and tried to do the same, only to break down in tears like 5 mins later

I feel bad to keep putting her through that so I calmed down enough to hold it in and parted ways with her bout 30 mins later. Me and my mom's relationship is kind of complicated and I thought this trip could possibly be an opportunity to uncomplicate things you know? So I felt so stuck when just like that, I was to be left after months of thinking id be there

Well in my hiding of my hurt I kinda hid my disappointment which I didn't want her to take as me not caring. So I texted her high high around 3am expressing my salt about not being able to go. Which somehow someway got me a ride to Indiana. I didn't know these people and it was a 4 hour drive (with all the extra they were doing ahit wnd up being like 6 😭) so I was kinda scared. But honestly? They were really cool.

I was slightly gone that entire car ride as I took some shit to mellow out some but I think I woulda been okay regardless. I was tryna avoid talking and I was playing sudoku and listening to music for a good 2-3ish hours. Thennn they started tryna involve me in convos and listening to their music which led them to ask if i smoked.. and I shoulda said no as I barely have experience with weed outside them bootleg delta 8 pens but I said yeah annnd we all smoked. I barely did as I knew I would be entirely too gone and I didn't want my mom to br able to tell. She seems disappointed that I smoked with my aunt that one time so I couldnt imagine how she's see me smoking with complete strangers (to me anyway. They're longtime friends to her)

See okay I know that sounds bad but the weed wasn't why I thought they were cool. They were just real persistent to involve me, even when I was pretty distant off rip. It woulda been so easy for them to just let me sit there silently but they made sure I spoke some and by the end even with me barely knowing them I got to laugh and talk shit with em. It was nice :)

Now with me being there pretty late, I just went to the room under the impression I'd just be crashing. But my mom dipped for some part of the event she came there for and left me with my 7 y/o sister and I think her... cousin? Idfk. Long story short, soon as I got there I was babysitting these kids. I didn't think nothing of it as I am pretty lenient on that sort of shit. Aka, I'm only there to make sure they aren't seriously hurt and not do anything that'll get them in big big trouble. Younger kids yeah, I know I gotta be more hands on as they wouldn't know how to feed themselves, clean up, use the bathroom ya know shit like that. But past that age, I see no real reason to breathe down their necks.

Tho... these kids bruh. I damn near cried out of frustration. They were so loud which I woulda ignored honestly but my mom was telling me how strict this hotel was about noise complaints when large groups/events booked a specific hotel. Like they whole ass had to sign an agreement to not be loud or they'd more than likely just get kicked out. Course, the form said they'd just plain kick em out but I'm sure they wouldn't be that that harsh. Nonetheless, minimal wiggle room as far as noise. So I let them play and shit but I had to quiet them down again and again cause they'd either ignore me or quiet down for two seconds and go back to it

It was a good 3-4 hours of me tryna keep them quiet til my mom came back which made them go to sleep soon after. Then she came back and went to sleep and I just.. broke down. I couldn't stop crying. I was so done and I just wanted to be alone by that point. My mom's a light light sleeper so I accidentally sobbed to hard and woke her up a fee diff times with her luckily being half sleep and not realizing what was happening. It was kinda bad tbr I wss first crying about watched the kids but then I was just spiraling and spiraling until I eventually cried myself to sleep around 5amish. Tho at 6 my mom quite literally shook me awake. To plug in her phone.

The rest of the trip was more of the same honestly. Watching the kids, reprimanding them for one thing or another, crying about it, calming down late into the night and passing out for a bit before being woken up for one thing or another. I wish I didn't even go honestly. I left the hotel twice the entire 3 days I was there. Once to take a walk as im not allowed to when I'm home and I wanted to calm down without taking pills, only to have the kids flung on me anyway lmao. The other was to get breakfast as the kids wouldn't wake up for the free hotel breakfast so we had to go somewhere to get em food. So we went to the McDonald's drive thru. Sooo honestly neither time I really left the hotel.

I thought maybe the last day would be cool as the event and everything was over and the cousin went back with her parents. I woke up late ish as I took dph the night before and I didn't feel like getting up. Thought nothing of it. Only for my mom to inform me that the person she thought would be taking me early Monday morning never came so I would not only be leaving today, I had about an hour to pack up and leave. Which included showering, getting my sister ready and fed, and getting ready cause the people driving me were gonna make a stop that required me to get out the car as well.

I couldn't even hide my anger lmao. That was about 3 days ago now and I am just now answering her calls again. I felt so used and stupid

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Next big thing that's happened is my bsf's relationship officially being over

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(R's breakup)

As I've mentioned before, R and her girlfriend have been on a break for a few weeks. I was under the impression they weren't speaking at all during this all and for the most part, they weren't. She was online playing games making it clear she was purposely ignoring R when she was tryna fix shit a few different times so I thought that was the sign right there. But my bsf recently opened up more on that shit and started talking about how she's changed into someone else lately, being super distant and the few times she'll talk to her she's being mean and yelling about one thing or another

Ah.. there was this one night about a week ago where she was really going through it, coming to terms with everything. She was just saying hoe while she said she'd be there for anything she wasn't her *insert partner name* uh prolly should've made a fake one long before but whatever. Anyway she was crying about it cause ehe felt like her partner changed so much and while she was still in love and still planned on doing everything she said she would, she wouldn't fight for her to do the same for her. It broke my heart just hearing it all. All the nights I've had to console a crying, stoic and at times intoxicated R she still would do it again if it meant going back to how they were. It genuinely made me hate her partner. I hated having to watch her suffer for someone that clearly wouldn't do the same for her

But it all came to a head yesterday. Me and R don't talk like we did before as she's usually busy during the day and I'm off doing my own shit as well. We mostly text lateish at night as the absolute latest she's ever working is 11 and I usually don't sleep til around 2ish so I'm usually free around then as well. But yesterday, we were talking around afternoonish. Initially it was just us checking in with each other but then we started talking shit and sending memes and junk. It went on for a good 30 mins of damn near instant replies as we were both focused on it until after a while R just stopped replying. I wasn't thinking nothing of it I sent a sc from this sudoku tournament I was in and I said something about some song a little while later. Kinda tryna get her attention again without making it seem dire or urgent.

She responded about the song shit like an hour or two later and I aint think nothing of it. The after she said that she dropped the bombshell. Her partner broke up with her. I tried my best to not treat her differently out of pity even though I was sad for her cause I know hearing that shit can make it sting 10x worse. I took it all in and cracked a joke here and there where I could but she dipped shortly after she explained everything

What boggled my mind was that I was just checking R's accs out of curiosity wondering of they had officially broken up and at the time her partner already unfriended her on a few platforms but R still kept traces of her nearly everywhere. Then less than 24 hours later, they're done. Shit was weird. The only real mention of her now is her disc as she left her name as the nickname her partner gave her but tbh I think R likes bunnies anyway so that could be unrelated

We have spoken once today as I accidentally called her when I was half sleep tryna call my mom. I usually don't call anyone but her so I called her out of habit before being like oh wait and hanging up. She had her phone off so it didn't really matter but she texted back just telling me not to apologize and that she understood and stuff. Then she's went back to being silent.

Her disc isn't offline for the first time in forever but it's in do not disturb so it ain't much better. Specially since she ain't signed in on her phone so she's really just ignoring anyone reacting out on there. Though she also could be on vc with her partner and not wanting to be interrupted too so not 100%

In addition to that she unfriended nearly everyone on her insta which is honestly expected. The only one she didn't unfriend is an unactive acc of an old friend. That's a long story but essentially, everyone including me and her partner

I'm not too worried for now. I know it'll be a few days of mostly silence and her ignoring everyone but she did text earlier today and I know she's online at the very least so I'm okay. I'm gonna try to aim for at least getting one response a day from her just to make sure she's alive and shit but aside from that I know she wants space for now and I'll give it to her for now.

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And finally there's smaller news about me

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(My health and stuff)

I've kinda tapered off again. Ish. The trip prevented me from taking all that much for a few days and me coming down from that 1.5 and the 850 made me not too fussy on that. I go a lot longer without dph and I haven't been taking much anymore. I only brought a little less than a gram for the trip so I had to ration it out pretty carefully so I'd have enough to keep me from withdrawing while not taking enough to make me too visibly high. I think I took 250 the trip on there, 450 the second night when I was watching my sister, then 200-300ish the trip back cause I started getting too angry and was crying. Luckily for me the blaring country music the people I was riding with this time covered the noises from that and they were not as keen to get me involved with their conversations but nonetheless I knew I would only get away with it for so long before they started asking questions so I popped the rest of my pills and went to sleep.

Now that I've been back I took 350 the first night I was back and took another 300 yesterday night. I didn't really want to take the 300 but I've noticed there's some days where my heart will feel tight and'll hurt when it's been a while without. Sometimes it's not too bad and ill just ignore and sometimes it's really noticeable and painful to the point I don't care if I want it or not I'll take some just to stop feeling it. I was originally only taking 200 but it still hurt so I just took 50 more every like 30ish mins til it stop hurting

I've been crying a bit less nowadays as well. Which is kinda weird as now I just have the temptation to alot more.. mind is weird ig 🥴

Had a few other issues of varying seriousness

At some point the day before I went on the trip I cut my hand pretty bad tho I forgot about it... then rubbed multiple more than likely not clean dogs with the same hand. Ah snd this ofc was not before I accidentally spilt a baking soda lemon juice in the cut earlier that day. Smh. The cut was so sore and actually the day I got back it hurt to handle anything that required anymore than gentle ass gripping. I was scared to tell anyone in fear of them trying to take me to urgent care over it as I know we can't really afford that shit rn so I toughed it out. It's not too noticeable now so it's probably nothing but those first few days were scary.

It kinda hurts to hold in my pee at times as I hold it for so long I'll forget I'm holding til it hurts to walk. Ive been tryna be better about that as R scolds me all the time and stresses how bad it is for me but I occasionally forget and do it anyway and it ain't fun to say the least. Plus it kinda spooks me to see at times ngl. That period where I was yellow yellow my piss was chronically dark but now it is dark at times but I do more as far as hydration so it ain't nearly as bad. Still like uts weird going from being slightly dehydrated before to now being so dehydrated I'd probably have an iv slapped on me if I went to a doctor. I've also had to be a log better about exfoliation as my dry ass skin will clog my skin in a heartbeat if I dont

Aside from that it's been more of the same. I mostly eat once a day with it usually being cereal or malt o meal as they're quick and easy and comforting for whatever reason. My stomach hurts at times but not much of the burny feeling I used to have a lot. I've been pretty isolated from my family nowadays, even the sister I was covering for a little while ago. I'll talk to them if they happen to be around while I go up there but for the most part I stay quiet in my room and try to avoid going upstairs when I can hear one of them around. I try to talk as minimally as possible with the only real exception to that being with R and wuth me being pretty quiet otp with her as well, she's only partially excluded at that

I remember I used to speak so little that it'd make my throat sore to speak for anymore than a few minutes. It's kinda on and off issue of mine and its kinda exacerbated with any sort of projection/yelling so I did have slight issue with that as well. It's mostly gone away now as I've gone back to no more than like 15 mins of using my voice in a day so that's alr

Uhhh but on that note I think I'm about done. I took another 250 in the middle of writing this as my heart felt eeird again and I wanted to stop that before that got annoying and my tolerance has made that nearly nonexistent feeling. More than likely finna make some malt o meal and take some more. And play the sims.. or download more stuff. I've been hyperfixated on that for the past few weeks smh. Possibly'll post a few on here but more than likely not. For one feels a little inappropriate for the blog and two I dunno if anyone really cares to see that 💀💀💀

Ya know like.. course they're my sims so I don't really need to post them for me. But I dunno. Strong maybe

#update #vent #excessively long

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babygirlbenji · 3 years

Text

I’ve Got You - Marcus Rashford

A/N: my first marcus imagine!!! i'm so sorry this is so late, and it gets so rushed towards the end. i really hope i've done this justice! i'm still getting to know marcus, so i hope this is okay 🥰

It had been a long time since Marcus had been able to go out and party with his friends. With international duty for the Euros and the devastating loss, swiftly followed by club duty only to be sidelined by his shoulder injury and pending surgery, Marcus wanted to let loose for a while and forget about his troubles.

‘Baby girl,’ his voice echoed throughout your shared flat, the last syllable elongated.

‘Yes, my love?’ You replied from the sofa, nose deep in one of your university textbooks. You third year of journalism was intense, but you still absolutely loved it. Your aspirations of being a news reporter for the Manchester Evening News were becoming more reachable with every term.

‘Have you seen my Balenciaga shirt? I swear I saw it in my wardrobe the other day.’ A snort left your lips.

‘You mean your floordrobe? I washed it, I put a load of whites in the other day. Should be either hanging up on the clothes line or folded in one of your drawers.’ Silence followed as Marcus searched for the elusive shirt, before he appeared in the hallway, dressed in black skinny jeans, the shirt he’d been looking for and his usual white Air Forces gifted to him by Nike a couple weeks previously. ‘You look like you’re going somewhere,’ you remarked. Marcus nodded, typing quickly on his phone before coming to sit next to you on the sofa.

‘Jesse, Jadon, Luke and I are going out for the evening, might be a late one. Fancy coming along?’ He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear as you contemplated the offer.

‘I’d love to, but studying calls. I’ve got a presentation soon, so I need to prepare for it.’ His shoulders slouched. He loved partying, but nights out with you were always the best. You were responsible, but also knew how to have a good time. Knowing all the good clubs from your time at the University of Manchester was a huge plus.

You and Marcus had actually met at one of the clubs. It was your first year of university, and you were new to the area having moved up from the south to start your university career. Marcus had come to your rescue after seeing you being chatted up by a guy who wasn’t taking no for an answer. Having pretended to be your boyfriend to get the guy away from you, Marcus realised that he wanted to get to know you better. He asked for your number in a moment of brazen confidence, and had asked you out the day after when you’d both sobered up. You weren’t usually the type to pick up a guy while on a night out, but the stars aligned on that night, and you hadn’t looked back since.

Your thoughts were brought back to the current moment. Marcus was at the counter, looking for his keys, wallet, mask and ID.

‘Sure you don’t wanna come, love?’ He asked, bending down behind the sofa and wrapping you in his arms.

‘My heart says no but my head says yes.’ The two of you shared a laugh at your conflicting answer.

‘Alright, babe, my Uber will be here in a few minutes, I’ll see you later this evening, yeah?’ You turned your head to kiss his cheek, and he gently held your face to kiss your lips goodbye.

‘Be safe, text me if you want me to pick you up, yeah?’ You called after his retreating back as he hurried towards the door.

‘Will do, bubba, love you!’

‘Love you too, have fun!’ The door opened, and he left, the sound of a car door opening and closing following a short while later.

Facing a quiet evening ahead, you switched on Netflix and put on the new series of Unsolved Mysteries, which had been on your watch list ever since it was released the week before. Not bothering to cook, you ordered a pizza, and feasted by yourself as you filled your head with statistics, facts and opinions about the history of the BBC.

Your phone blared loudly beside you, your ringtone of September by Earth, Wind and Fire catching you unawares. Groaning and realising you must have fallen asleep on the sofa, you groggily picked it up, noting that the time was just past 2:30am.

‘Hello?’ you grumbled. A barrage of loud music, even louder voices and a car engine hit your ears, making you rub your forehead at the change of volume.

‘Y/N, it’s Jess, we’re about 5 minutes away, Rashy got himself really drunk,’ Jesse’s voice was slightly muffled, and you assumed that you were on speaker as he tried to wrestle his taller teammate into his seatbelt or something.

‘Okay, I’ll get stuff ready, see you soon.’ He thanked you and hung up, leaving you to hurry around to get a pair of joggers and a clean shirt from Marcus’s wardrobe, followed by a glass of water and made sure that there was a packet of painkiller ready for the morning when Marcus would no doubt have a pounding headache.

The buzzer to the apartment sounded, and you answered to allow Jesse and Jadon up, knowing that Marcus was too gone to know where his keys were. Shortly after, the doorbell rang and you hurried over to answer it.

‘Hey guys, thank you for bringing him home,’ you whispered, trying not to wake up your neighbours.

'Oh look, it's my babyyyy!' Marcus yelled loudly when he saw you. Even in his intoxicated state, and even with your hair in a messy bun, no makeup and bleary eyes from sleep, you were still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

'Shhh, Rash, neighbours,' Jadon winced.

'I need everyone to know that I was literally jumped by some random girl at the bar, but I pushed her away from me and was like "bore off, I have a girlfriend! And she's the love of my life! And I don't want anyone else!"' You didn't know whether to be thoroughly embarrassed, thoroughly amused or thoroughly endeared, so you just thanked the boys for bringing him home.

‘Safe trip home, guys.’ They closed the door behind you and you heard them head back downstairs. You put your arm around Marcus's shoulders and helped him inside.

The next step of the process was getting Marcus out of his party clothes. ‘Rashy, baby, I need you to help me get you undressed and into bed, okay?’ He grumbled to himself as he tried to get his arms and legs out of their respective holes of his shirt and jeans. It surprised you how an agile footballer could be so uncoordinated when inebriated.

‘Help,’ he mumbled. You were distinctly reminded of your six-year-old cousin you sometimes babysat, but decided not to say anything; you didn’t want to upset your boyfriend.

‘Alright, baby, arms up!’ He obeyed and lifted his arms up in the air, allowing you to finally take his shirt off. Tossing it into the laundry bin, you cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead. ‘I’ve got you, darling. There we go.’ His jeans came off soon after, leaving Marcus in his boxers, looking thoroughly exhausted.

‘Want cuddles,’ he slurred. You giggled.

‘Drink some water for me first?’ After some deliberation, you reached an agreement, and he drank a glass of water. ‘Okay baby, you feeling okay?’ To answer your question, Marcus flopped onto the sofa, completely passed out. ‘Guess we’re sleeping here tonight,’ you snorted to yourself, quickly fetching a blanket and a few extra pillows. Gently lifting his head up, you placed them under him, making sure he was lying so that he wouldn’t strain his neck or hurt his shoulder more. You carefully climbed in next to him, acting as the big spoon, and pulled him close to you.

‘Thank you, Y/N,’ a small voice whispered, still slightly slurred, but this time you assumed it was caused more by exhaustion than alcohol.

‘Always, darling.’

Needless to say, training for Marcus the next morning proved quite a challenge.

#marcus rashford #marcus rashford x reader #marcus rashford imagine #marcus rashford x you #manchester united #england national team #england football team #england imagine #england imagines #football imagine #he's so cute i adore him

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princehrry-writings · 3 years

Text

Angel with a Shotgun

here we go. this popped into my head after i watched a tiktok about angel shots. if you go on a date and don't feel safe for any reason, please please please find a safe way to remove yourself!! asking for an angel shot is a great way to do that!!

WARNING: tw mentions of implied SA, stalking, harassment, police, EMT's, hospitals, alcohol, being drugged, swearing,

please don't read this if any of this stuff makes you uncomfortable. i don't get graphic with anything but still, put yourself first and be safe!! i love you <3

wordcount: 1907

Harry Styles x Reader

masterlist

It started off as a normal night. Y/n had met this guy in class and he’d asked her out for drinks. She didn’t get any bad vibes from him, none of her friends had heard anything bad about him, so she deemed him a suitable guy to go have a fun night with.

She’d met him at a bar just off campus and was having a really great night! The pair were dancing and talking and laughing, genuinely enjoying herself for the first time in a long time on a first date.

In Y/n’s experience, usually guys were creeps and girls never decided she was what they were looking for, so she had a hard time in the dating world. This guy, Jack his name is, seemed ok. Keyword being seemed.

She should have known. When he asked to meet her at a bar all the way across town, she should have put it together that he wasn’t what she was looking for. He didn’t put up too big of a fight when she insisted they meet at the bar closer to campus, that way she would know people there and be in a familiar place if she needed to get away from him quickly.

When he started making comments that were off putting to her, things she doesn’t really want to repeat in fear of actually vomiting all over the table, she starts looking for a way out. He keeps trying to play footsie with her under the table and is getting visibly frustrated at her lack of participation, so she tells him she’s going to get them another round of drinks after finishing the one that was already on the table and quickly exits the booth before he can protest.

Harry had been watching from across the room at the bar, seeing this couple who looked like they were on a first date. He watched as they laughed and talked, getting to know each other. But as the night went on, it seemed the woman was getting more and more uncomfortable.

He had told his coworkers to keep an eye out for the two in case anything was to go down, and when he sees her get up and make her way over to his bar, he has a feeling he knows where this is going.

“What can I get for you, love?” He asks her, leaning over the counter to hear her better. She sniffles a little, and takes a deep breath. Leans in before timidly asking.

“Can I get an angel shot?”

Harry’s senses are quickly kicked into gear and he nods, gesturing to his coworker that he’s gonna get this taken care of before meeting her on the other side of the bar. What neither of them had realized was that 1. Jack was walking up to them and 2. he had slipped something into her drink apparently because suddenly she could barely hold her own body weight. Harry caught her before she hit the ground and Jack rushed over, playing the part of concerned boyfriend but the bartender saw right through it.

“Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to back up.” He tells the man, authority very present in his voice. Jack doesn’t take well to this, eyebrows furrowing and voice lowering in defense.

“S’cuse me mate, but I’m gonna take my girl home. She’s had a few too many, f’you know what I mean.” He chuckles and goes to scoop her up. Harry stops him, putting a hand on the guy's chest, stepping between the girl and this guy.

“You'll do no such thing. This girl has obviously been roofied and it’s you she was running away from. The only thing you’ll be doing tonight is talking to the police, who are making their way in right now to do with you what they will.” Harry says, watching the color drain from this bloke's face. He turned around, ready to make a full run for it but was stopped by not only the police but also a crowd of other guys who heard what was going down and were ready to step in if assistance was needed.

“I didn’t do anything wrong here! She was trying to take advantage of me!” He cries as he’s put in handcuffs and taken away.

“Yeah, it’s obvious the one who’s passed out cold because she was drugged was trying to take advantage of you.” Harry yells after him before turning around and scooping the girl into his arms. Due to the commotion and the presence of not only police but also paramedics, the premises was cleared and the bar was shut down for the night. Harry held the passed out girl close to his body, having had his coworker fetch his jacket from the break room to keep her warm now that the club wasn’t filled with body heat, and waited for the paramedics to come in for her.

When they come in and place her on the gurney, she starts to stir. Little whines and groans escape from her and the EMT’s check her vitals, deeming her stable and letting Harry know she’s going to be ok. He decided to follow to the hospital just so she has a familiar face when she wakes up and has someone to explain her situation that isn’t a scary doctor.

. *

It’s a few hours of unrestful sleep at her bedside and his co-worker showing up with a change of clothes for him when she finally starts to come to.

Groaning and reaching up to hold her head but realizing her arms are too heavy to move, she rasps out, “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital,” Harry explains, wanting to reach out and hold her hand but not wanting to startle her, “You’re ok but the doctors wanted to keep you overnight for observation.”

“You’re the bartender I asked for the angel shot aren’t you?” She questions after a pregnant pause. He hums a confirmation and she looks over his face a few times, before tears well in her eyes.

“What happened?” A few tears fall from her eyes. She can’t remember much after leaving the table, just the sight of green eyes and curly brown hair nodding at her when she asked for the shot. The rest is pretty much a blur, just random flashes of scenes she can’t quite make out in her head.

“You came over and asked me for the shot and then a few minutes later you passed out. The bloke you were with slipped something in your drink. And unless something happened at the table that I didn’t see, then nothing else happened. Do you remember anything happening at the table?” He explains, hoping her answer is no.

He’d learned her name from the EMT’s who checked your ID once you were loaded into the ambulance but he didn’t know the name of the man she was with. He realizes she doesn’t know his name either.

“No, was just being a sleazy dick. I don’t know how he could have slipped me something, I didn’t get up before I went to you. Must’ve turned my head for a bit too long. God, I should’ve known this was gonna happen!” She groans but he shakes his head.

“You can’t blame yourself for this, darling! He’s a sleazeball, a no good lowlife. S’not your fault.”

“What’s your name?” She voices, peering into his pretty green eyes.

“M’Harry,” he smiles, timidly reaching for her hand, rubbing his thumb soothingly across the soft skin.

“Thank you for staying with me Harry! For helping me…” Y/n says quietly. He shakes his head with a small smile.

“No need to thank me, pet. Would do it over and over again.”

Her smile, while tired and defeated, was enough to show him her gratitude. She feels a weight lift off her chest, hearing that nothing bad happened after she got to him.

She knows it’s probably just nightingale syndrome, but Y/n thinks Harry is terribly adorable. With his messy brown curls and tired green eyes that make it look like he hasn’t slept in ages. She thinks she could see herself going out with him, which is an odd thought considering what happened last night. You’d think that would be enough to turn her off to men for good, but there's just something about him. But now isn’t the time to bring any of that up.

“I’ll call a nurse, tell em’ you’re awake.” He voiced, making his way to the door after gently placing her hand back on the bed.

. * .

“Ms. I’m just calling to let you know the restraining order has gone through. You won’t have to worry about him anymore.”

Y/n felt a weight lift off her chest. After months of being harassed and stalked, she would finally be left alone. Harry leaned in, pressing a kiss to her cheek, stroking the loose hair out of her face.

“S’ finally over, lovie. It’s all over!.” He whispered in her ear, pulling her closer to him, rubbing up and down her thighs. She felt tears spring to her eyes, tears of relief, tears of joy, but also tears of sadness because the last few months had been some of the hardest of her life. She was ready to move on and be done with this nightmare.

When Jack had found out Y/n and Harry got together after that night, it’s like it activated something inside him. Like he thought she was just playing hard to get and he had to literally stalk her to get her attention. He seemed to think she was playing a game. Somewhere in his twisted little mind he had the audacity to think she actually wanted him.

He’d sit right next to her every single class period and would get up and move next to her when she tried to get away with him. He’d show up at her house, sitting across the street just watching her front door, he’d call her phone and text her, he’d wait outside her other classes and follow her around campus. She complained to her university, told them what was going on and they didn’t really do anything. She went to campus security and they brushed it off because “She wasn’t in any danger. He just wants to get to know you.”

So she finally was forced to file a restraining order. Her case was still open, from when he got arrested that night at the bar. They're charging him with second degree assault and criminal harassment because apparently she’s not the only girl he’s done this to. Many other women had spoken up since news of that night had spread around campus. Yet still, the university did nothing.

Harry stood by you every step of the way, picking up the shattered pieces on hard days. He wanted to beat the shit out of this guy and he would if it wouldn’t interfere with the case. He knew you needed him and he didn’t want to chance anything.

There was a pregnant silence between the two lovers. Just letting the silence wash over them, letting themselves breath freely without this weight suffocating them, they basked in it.

It wasn’t completely over, because there was still a trial, but he wouldn’t be coming around without getting arrested again.

That was enough for Y/n to breathe easy.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles #x reader #harry x reader #bartender!harry #bartender!harry styles x reader #bartneder!harry x reader #harry x y/n #harry styles one shot #harry styles au #bartender!harry styles #tw sa #one direction #fan fiction #one shot #angel shot

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 years

Text

More than just a game

Warnings: dark elements including noncon and rape, oral, fingering, doxxing, stalking, and other explicit content.

This is dark!Jake Jensen and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You find a new gaming buddy but he sees you as more than that.

Note: So this is my first Jake Jensen fic and it was lots of fun so let me know what you think and hope you enjoy. :D

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Special shout-out to @navybrat817 for helping me with this idea

After too many nights scrolling through subreddits and searching for something to keep you distracted, you decided to bite the hook. Several other redditors agreed to hop on Minecraft and it had been a while since you logged in. You missed the almost relaxing ritual of mining and building.

You joined the chat, quick to hit the little microphone emblem as you listened to the voices in your headset. You learned long ago to keep your mic muted on the servers, especially with strangers. The last time you dared to speak up as a woman in a game chat, your DMs had become so overwhelmed you deleted and started a new account on Discord and changed your ID on Steam.

You were all given your tasks as players called out coordinates and you kept to chopping up the side of a mountain. You mostly worked alone, chatting through text instead of voice chat. As you placed a crafting table in your little mine, another player, JJ-Smooth, popped up and dropped some iron for you.

He stayed close but you didn’t mind. A lot of players tried to work together the deeper they got and you were used to it. As you uncovered some lava, he dumped water before you could get burned and helped you hack up the obsidian.

He thanked you on the voice chat but you knew any courtesy in return would earn you the attention of the entire server. So you dropped some gold for him and went on your way.

“I hear a zombie,” he warned.

You turned to hack up the undead before it could get you, only to be shot by a skeleton hidden on the next level. Another appeared and you died before you could hide, the bony villain killed by your ally as you watched your possession scatter over the death screen.

“Hey, I got your stuff,” he said as you loaded back up, “I’ll find you.”

You typed quickly in the chat, ‘sorry, mic busted, give me your coordinates and I’ll come to you.’

You waited as ‘JJ-Smooth is typing…’ appeared at the bottom and finally he sent the numbers. You hopped over the blocky hills and through the forests until you found the mine again. He was just outside and handed over all your tools and ration. He headed back into the mine and you followed him. This time, you began your own path in the opposite direction.

Before you knew it, you’d lost track of time. You sat back as you realised it was only you and JJ on the server. The silence should have tipped you off earlier. He was the host and you felt super awkward for staying so long. You typed that you were logging off for the night and thanked him.

You hit the keyboard with your knuckle and yawned as you opened the screen,

“God, it’s late,” you muttered.

“Hello?” he said.

Your eyes rounded as you looked at the mic symbol and the lack of red line made you cringe. You’d hit an extra button without noticing.

“Um, hi, sorry, I just--”

“Mic busted, huh?” he asked.

“No, I--” you didn’t know what to say, “anyways, I should--”

“So, you’re a chick? Is that why you mute?”

“Uh, well, it’s just… easier, sorry, I--” even if you weren’t trying to hide from gamer dudes, you weren’t the best at conversation.

“A gamer girl, nice,” he said and you sighed, “sorry, that sounded weird, didn’t it?”

“Mhmm,” you touched your bottom lip as you cupped your chin, “it’s late, I have to work tomorrow.”

“You comin’ back?” he asked, almost hopeful.

“I don’t know--”

“I won’t tell anyone,” he said abruptly, “promise, lips sealed.”

“I really don’t know if I can do this too much, I usually work early mornings so… yeah,” you said.

“I get it but you know you’re always welcome, hope you don’t mind if I send you an invite now and then. No pressure,” he offered.

“Uh, sure,” you shrugged, “okay, yeah, good night.”

You left the chat quickly and pulled off your headset. Shit.

‘I’m Jake by the way,’ a pm popped up, ‘gg.’

You typed back, ‘gg, it was fun’ and quickly logged out. You sat back and rubbed your eyes. Well, he didn’t seem like a total creep, maybe just a bit awkward but so were you. You shut down for the night and stretched out as you switched off the lamp. You were going to pay for your session in the morning.

🎮

A few nights later you got an invite to the server. You debated it but as it was Friday, you decided to make good use of the PC you’d saved up forever to build. You spawned in the middle of nowhere and built a bed before you found the half-finished settlement. You joined the chat but you must have been early as you were the only one there.

You headed back to the same mine, some work done since the first night, and laid your torches as you ventured into the depths. You jumped in your seat as a voice broke your peace.

“I don’t think anyone else is gonna join,” JJ-Smooth, or Jensen said, “you think maybe you’ll unmute?”

You stopped your mining and stared at the screen. You hovered over the mic button and re-read his name, he was the only other one there. You clicked and gave a strained smile to the screen.

“So, um, what’s the goal tonight?” you asked.

“Get some materials and go back to the settlement, keep building, oh, maybe we could try a portal, you ever gone to the nether?” he said but before you could reply he kept on, “shit, I shouldn’t assume, you seem like an experienced player.”

“Yeah, a few times, but I’m more a casual miner,” you went back to harvesting stone and ore.

“Ah,” he said, and it was silent for a moment, “so, you work again in the morning?”

“Not tomorrow,” you said as you focused on the game, “daycare isn’t open on the weekends.”

“A daycare, huh? That sounds fun, I love kids… not in a weird way but you know, I… urgh, I have a niece,” he said with a nervous chuckle, “nah, that’s cool though, sounds more fun than my gig.”

“Oh?” you turned and kept your axe moving.

“IT. You know, some people would be like ‘hey Jensen, why do you spend all your free time staring at a screen when that’s what you do at work?’” he scoffed, “well, who says I’m not mining there too.”

You wrinkled your forehead and gave a small laugh. He was rambling and it was kinda odd. You were happy for once not to be the strange one.

“But anyway,” he said, “I found lots of diamond over here. If we get some lapis lazuli we can build an enchanting table and get some sick armour.”

“Awesome,” you pressed your fingertips to your lip as you leaned on your elbow, “should try to head back before dark…”

“Hard to tell down here. How about you mine and I’ll keep an eye out for monsters?” he offered.

“Sure,” you agreed as he came onto your screen, “that works.”

🎮

Another week went by and you ventured back into the server a few times but not for very long as late nights did not mix with young children. The next weekend, you joined again on Saturday night and like the last few times it was just you and Jensen. You wondered why no one else was joining when the subreddit was so popular but you didn’t worry about it for long.

You mostly played in silence, Jensen did most of the talking and it was never about anything more than the game or his niece’s last soccer game. That night when you left the game, he kept typing on Discord.

‘I like playing with you,’ his message blipped up.

‘Same, thx.’

‘Really, you’re awesome.’

‘Thx :) Tired, gotta sleep.’

‘Sweet dreams.’

‘Night.’

You changed your status to offline and dragged yourself to bed. You opened your phone as you laid in the dark and went to the subreddit, you scrolled through the builds and screenshots of other people’s catastrophes.

You came to Jensen’s last invite post from that night but all the comments complained that the world code was incorrect. Hmm, you should tell him next time.

You blackened your cell and plopped it on your night table. You rolled over and buried your face in the pillow, the light still etched into your vision. You fell asleep quickly and woke the next day to another invite from Jensen.

‘How about some Fortnite? If you’re into it?’

‘Srry, can’t, my mom’s expecting me for lunch.’

‘2 bad, maybe later.’

‘Maybe’.

You got ready to go see your mother for your usual Sunday afternoon visit and it went by like any other. When she asked you what you’d been up to, you didn’t mention the gaming, she was never a fan of it. When you got back home, Jensen was messaging you again. You didn’t open the notification and settled in to catch up on some streaming before another week of work.

Monday hit you like a train and you were glad you hadn’t spent the night mining again. If you had, you doubted you’d even be able to open your eyes. You got to the daycare centre and welcomed in the kids. You got them set up for the morning snack then cleaned up as Sandy took them over to the reading circle.

You wiped the tables and then did some painting before you went out for some play time in the yard. As you watched several of the children on the swings, you glanced around. There was a man across the street. You squinted through the chain link as he seemed to be watching but assured yourself it was nothing as he quickly headed for the corner and disappeared.

Inside, the kids were due for quiet time, some napped and those who didn’t, stared at the ceiling and yawned. You could have joined them but knew that wouldn’t be acceptable. The end of the day came and you helped the kids pack up their paintings and their sweaters. You waited in the yard with them as the parents showed up and handed them off one by one.

You waved to Danika as she clung to her mother and your eye was once more drawn beyond the chain link. The same faded grey jacket, the same glasses, and the hat with the frayed brim. It was a better look at the man. Was he looking at you? Why on earth was he hanging around outside a daycare?

“Sandy,” you turned and lowered your voice as she neared, “see that man?”

She peeked over and shrugged, “which one? The guy crossing the street?”

You looked up again and like before, he was walking away casually as if he hadn’t just been staring through the fence. You shook your head and huffed. “Sorry, never mind.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” she waved her fingers, “come on, let’s clean up.”

With the kids all sorted out, you went back in and tidied up the last of their mess. You and Sandy were friendly but like with any, you weren’t very talkative. You never really knew what to say but you were never unkind.

You pulled on your jacket and checked your purse for your phone and wallet. You checked the time and turned off the lights. You bid Sandy goodbye as she headed for her SUV and you took your usual route down the sidewalk towards your bus stop.

You stopped short as the man was there. You were paranoid, he must just be waiting for the same route. You approached and he turned to watch you as you sat on the bench. He smiled and the dread sank deep in your chest.

His rectangular glasses gave light to his blue eyes and a goatee trimmed his jaw. He was tall and well-built, you could tell even under his comic book tee. He was going to talk to you, another weirdo in the city.

“Hey,” his voice was chillingly familiar, “how was your day?”

You stared at him and blinked cluelessly. You looked around, it was only the two of you. You opened your mouth but you had to be wrong. He said your name and you winced.

“Jensen?” you breathed as you stood and squeezed the strap of your bag, “why? How--?”

“You weren’t answering me, I was worried,” he said, “just making sure you’re okay.”

“What the-- I don’t understand how--” He stepped closer and you backed up against the bench. “Don’t, I’ll scream.”

“Scream? Why? I’m just-- You know me, it’s me, Jensen.”

“You doxxed me?” you snapped, “what the hell?”

“No, I didn’t-- I’m just checking on you--”

“I don’t know you,” you said as your heart began to race, “so please, leave me alone,” you edged away from him, “and don’t message me again.”

You sprinted across the street and as you came up on the curb, you looked back at him. He watched you but didn’t follow. You could tell from there he wasn’t happy but the brim of his cap shadowed most of his face so you couldn’t guess if it was hurt or anger. You quickly spun away and continued down the next street to the nearest stop.

You couldn’t believe he’d just shown up like that. You couldn’t believe he would think that was okay. You couldn’t believe he’d think that much about you.

🎮

You blocked Jensen on Discord and left his world on Minecraft. That night you were shaky and nervous, afraid that he would show up at your apartment. Did he know where you lived? He must if he could figure out where you worked.

You didn’t open Steam that night. You paced your small apartment, jumping at every noise. Sleep didn’t come easily but in shallow spurts that left you even more tired. You watched over your shoulder as you walked to your stop and boarded with one eye on the door.

Work was little better as you found yourself distracted in the room full of toddlers. Sandy asked if you were okay as you kneaded play-do violently. You shook yourself out of your paranoia and assured her you were only short on sleep, not a complete lie.

You took out your phone when you stepped out for a small break. Your mom had called but you would have to get back to her when you had two hours to waste. There was another notification, that one from Discord, a friend request from JJ-NoRematch. It wasn’t hard to guess who it was and you declined it right away.

There were several others from Jensen, too. He followed your Insta, blocked; he followed your mostly empty twitter, blocked; and he even commented on your LinkedIn like a weird. You closed your phone and took a breath before you headed back into the kids, their voices rising in their excitement to go outside.

In the yard, you had another look around, expecting to see him there on the other side of the fence. You were slightly relieved when he wasn’t but still on edge. You joined a game of tag then watched several of the kids line up for the slide. You lost yourself in your job as you told yourself he must have gotten the hint, at least not to bother you irl.

Just like the day before, and every day, you left work and headed for your stop. He wasn’t there either and you sat down and phoned your mom, hanging up as the bus pulled up with a promise to call her again when you were home. At home, you felt almost normal again and checked your notifications; no more follows, no more requests, nothing.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday passed in a similar fashion. Each saw your anxieties less than the day before. You even resolved to open Steam and start a new world for yourself. You spent hours mining and almost fell asleep in your chair. When you nearly tipped over, you decided it was time for bed.

You slept better than you had all week and woke up before noon. You wanted to log right back on but you had life to deal with; groceries, cleaning, and of course, making that call to your mother you’d delayed the night before. After all that, you felt accomplished and you decided to treat yourself to take out, a rare divulgence.

You called the local Chinese eatery and waited eagerly for your feast as you turned on a new episode of your current binge. You played on your phone until the battery was low and had enough juice to buzz up the delivery man. You dug for your wallet as you went to the door and unlocked it without looking up.

“How much--” you asked as you opened the door.

Your eyes met a familiar pair, two blue gems behind a pair of narrow glasses. Jensen wore the same cap and held the paper bag of take-out with a smile. You grabbed the door and tried to swing it shut but he was too quick as he slapped a large hand against the peeling paint.

“It’s on me,” he said, “I love spare ribs.”

“What the--” you gasped as you pushed on the door helplessly, “please go away.”

“You’re not answering me,” he said as he stepped closer and forced you back as his body brushed against yours, “you blocked me and I can’t even get a hey, Jensen, how are you?”

“I don’t want you here,” you tried to shove him and he shouldered you away easily, “get out!”

He slammed the door and you flinched. He put the bag down on the corner table and reached back to twist the lock without a look. His eyes roved around your entryway and further into your apartment. He smiled as they stilled and focused on you.

“This place is cute… like you,” he said and you heard a slight hesitation in his voice.

You swallowed and backed away from him. You spun on your heel and ran for your couch. You reached over the back to your phone and unlocked it as the battery icon flashed. You had just enough juice to make the call. You dialed as you turned back to him.

“I’m calling the police so you b-better l-leave,” you warned as your voice and hands shook, “I me--”

He was quick and before you could pull away, he swiped your cell out of your hand. He scoffed and tossed it across the room. It hit the wall and landed screen down on the hardwood. You bit down and pressed yourself to the couch. You stared at him and kicked yourself forward as you tried to slip past him. He caught you and wrestled you back into the front room.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked calmly as you struggled in his grasp, “I’ve been nothing but nice to you.”

“N-no, you’re-- you-- let me go,” you stammered as he angled you around the couch. He pushed you down so you bounced on the cushion. You tried to push yourself up and he pointed his finger in your face and wagged it.

“No, you stay,” he growled and wiped his other hand on his jeans. He was nervous, even if he was angry.

“Please, why-- what do you want?” you grasped the cushion and hovered at the edge of the couch.

He sighed and sat in the chair. He took his hat off and set it on the table as he ran his fingers through his short hair.

“Good question,” he said as his jaw squared and his eyes turned to pinpoints, “better one, why did you block me?”

“Are you serious? You-- you--” you struggled to get your words out, your voice even more splintered by your fear, “you doxxed me, you came to-- to my work-- and…”

“I thought we were getting along. I thought you liked me,” he said with a frown, “I really did, you sure acted like it and-- I only wanted to make sure you were safe.”

“But why wouldn’t I be? I--” you shivered and crossed your arms as you withered beneath his gaze, “Jensen, this was only supposed to be online.”

He scoffed and stomped his boot on the floor. He shook his head as he looked to the ceiling and his anger bulged along his temple. He tilted his head and looked at you again.

“You know, for years, I have been a nice guy, I am a nice guy,” he pushed his shoulders to his ears as he threw his hand out, “I’m so patient and caring and you girls, you don’t even give me a second look.”

“Jensen--”

“No, really, I mean look at you, you’re no supermodel and yet it’s the same thing, ‘let’s just be friends’,” he spat, “but I watch guys all the time treat women like shit and they don’t have any trouble at all, they got them hanging off of them and I’m a creep for giving them a compliment or opening the door--”

“I don’t… know you,” you eked out, “you have to understand--”

“I don’t understand,” he stood abruptly, “I’m done trying to understand.”

He pulled his jacket open and slid it down his arms. You watched him sling it over the chair and as he turned back to you, you stood. He caught your shoulders and held you in place. His strength was plain in his grip as he squeezed then slowly moved his hands to cradle your face.

“I just wanna be nice,” he said as he leaned in. You tried to pull away but he moved a hand around the back of your head and forced your lips against his. He poked his tongue inside your mouth roughly as you tried to shove him away. Finally, he parted, his hands still firmly around your head, “wasn’t that nice?”

“Please,” you begged as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip.

His eyes searched your face as you stared back at him in terror. He sighed and dropped his hands back to your shoulders. He pushed you down to the sofa harshly and backed away.

“Fine, I won’t be nice,” he snarled as he took his glasses off and folded them carefully. He put them on the table beside his cap and twined his fingers together, loudly cracking his knuckles.

You blinked at him as your eyes grew glossy. You brought your legs up under you and pressed yourself to the back of the couch. You grasped the upholstery and turned as you launched yourself over to the other side. You stumbled as you landed on your feet and ran for the door.

You were yanked back as he snaked his arms around you and took you off your feet. You kicked out and screamed but it was cut off by his palm as he kept one arm around your middle. You scratched at his hand as he dragged you back to the couch. He pushed you face down onto the cushions and planted his knee in the middle of your back, slipping his hand away as he put enough weight on you to keep your voice suffocated.

“Listen, I know I look like some IT nerd but I’m a lot more than that, now don’t make me hurt you,” he played with your hair as he smiled down at you, “you try that again and I will shut you up and if someone hears you, I can take care of them too.”

You sniffed as tears pricked in your eyes and nodded frantically as it felt as if he would snap your spine. He pushed off of you and you stayed as you were, paralysed with fear. He sat and unlaced his boots one at a time. He looked up as he set them neatly beside the foot of the chair and he bent to catch your eye.

“Well?” he pointed at you and traced the line of your body in the air, “let’s go.”

You stared at him dumbly and he stood to pull his tee over his head. His torso was sculpted perfectly and his chest trimmed with hair that trailed all the way down to his pants. He stepped forward and tugged at the back of your shirt.

“You want me to do it for you, baby?” he purred, “I can help you.”

You swatted him away and sat up. You bent your legs to your chest and hugged them. “Please, I’m scared, just leave me alone--”

His hand rested on his belt and exhaled again. His fingers moved swiftly to unloop the striped belt and unbutton his jeans. He pushed them down, nearly tripping as he stepped out of them. He stood in his boxers, tented with his impatient excitement, and gripped his hips.

“It’s okay, baby, I know you’re shy, I am too,” he neared and you winced as he grabbed your wrist. He tugged on your arm and you resisted until he bent your hand back painfully and you cried out. He tickled your jaw as he looked you in the eye and tutted, “it doesn’t have to be like this, alright?”

You went limp and let him pull your arms apart. Your legs slipped down and your feet dangled above the floor. He got to his knees and pushed between yours. He slowly rolled up the hem of your shirt and bent to kiss your stomach as he bared the flesh. You trembled as he forced your arms up and swooped the fabric over your head. It fluttered through the air and to the floor as he cupped your tits through your bright pink bra.

“Is this so bad?” he asked as he nuzzled your chest and pushed your tits up.

He glided the straps down your arm and slid your bra lower so that you popped out. He nibbled at your flesh and traced your nipples with his tongue. You sat rigid and let him explore your body, too terrified to move a muscle. He reached around you and struggled with the hooks, frustrated he snapped the clasps and the band came free.

He continued to play with your chest, his fingers crawling up and down your stomach and sides. There was a genuine curiosity to his touch and it sent a chill through you. His fingertips pressed to the top of your pants and he pulled at them as his lips travelled down to your hip.

He tugged on your pants and jerked your entire body. He tore them lower as he pushed you up and you lifted yourself to let him peel away the layer. He added them to the floor and toyed with the elastic of your panties. The little bow in the front drew his attention as he pushed your legs wider and ran his nose along the cotton.

He hummed and rubbed his fingers down your crotch, pushing the fabric to your folds as he teased you through them. You inhaled sharply at the tingle it inspired and he pressed firmer against you, flicking his fingers along your bud as he noticed how it made you squirm.

He gently pulled aside the cotton and you felt his hot breath against you. You pushed on his head before he could delve into you. “Please, don’t--”

“Shhhh,” he threw your hand away from his head and bent over you, “just relax.”

He dragged his tongue along your cunt and lingered around your clit. You clenched as it sent a thrill through you and he moved his lips against you, suckling at you bud as your breaths grew raspy. You pushed yourself against the back of the couch and dug your nails into the cushion.

He slid a finger along your cunt and circled your entrance. He rubbed up and down as he kept his tongue swirling over your clit and you swallowed back as gasp as he poked inside. He felt around and added another finger, stretching you as he carefully pushed them in and out of you in time with his mouth.

He lapped you up and you closed your eyes, desperate to resist the coil winding within you. Your legs tensed against the couch and you tilted your pelvis without thinking. He sped up, the noise of his mouth and your slickness filled the silence. You let out a puff and moaned as you slapped the couch. The waves rolled over your flesh and you came into his mouth with a pathetic mewl.

He stilled his fingers as he lazily teased you with his tongue. He pulled his fingers out and sat back, the heat between your legs cooling in his absence as he licked up your juices. He watched you as he sucked his fingers and stood. Your head lolled and you edged forward on the couch. You tried to stand but he caught you and flung you back.

“We’re not done, baby,” he winked at you as he grasped the top of his boxers, “go on, lay down.”

You murmured your refusal and once more tried to get up. You slipped onto the floor and shakily crawled away as he dropped his boxers to his ankle. He grabbed you before you could get around the side and lifted you easily. He turned you and shoved you down onto your back as he lifted a leg over you.

He straddled you and again his hands roved over your body. You smacked at his fingers weakly but he easily ignored you. He kept one hand moving along your curves as he stroked himself with the other. He groaned and shook as he stroked his dick. Your eyes followed his hand and you gulped, he was thick.

He moved his knees back and pushed them up beneath your thighs as he kept a hand planted on your chest. He ripped your panties down your legs and untangled them from your feet.

He held you down as he ran his tip along your cunt, wetting himself with your coerced arousal. You groaned and grabbed the arm of the couch above you. You tried to pull away from him.

He pushed against your entrance and you looked at him in shock. You couldn’t stop him. His eyes were set between your legs as he inhaled and slowly eased into you. He gasped as he got his tip inside you and his muscles tensed. He bit his lip as he dove further in and you gasped as he filled you inch by inch.

“Shitttt,” he moaned as he reached his limit and you whined at how full you were, “oh, baby.”

His hand slid from your chest and he gripped your hips as he pulled back and thrust. You exclaimed and he did it again, slowly as he watched himself impale you over and over. You curled your fingers against the couch arm and your feet arch as you pressed your thighs around him. He lifted your pelvis high as he angled his dick even deeper.

“You feel so good,” he rasped, “oh, baby, you’re so good. Ahh-hh-hh,” his voice fizzled as your walls clenched him and you closed your eyes as you felt the heat building.

He moved his hand along your thigh and stretched it over your pelvis, pushing his thumb to your clit as he kept his pace. He purred as you writhed helplessly against him and you panted through the rising ecstasy.

“Please, please, please…” you chanted, unsure if you were begging him to stop or for more.

He moaned as he sped up and you sucked your lip under your teeth as you neared your peak. You quivered as your orgasm crashed into you and you let out a strangled cry. He snarled and planted his hands beside your head as he leaned over you, his hot breath tickled your face as he pounded into you.

Your legs bent around him as his pelvis rubbed against you and the friction drove you to another climax. You held onto the arm of the couch as he fucked your harder and harder. He kissed you and nibbled at your lip as he groaned and hooked an arm under to hold you close.

“You’re gonna make me cum, baby,” he said against your cheek and you turned your head away from, “ah, here I--”

He spasmed and slammed into you. He took several long thrusts and stilled. He grunted and drew heavy breaths as he rested his weight over you. He grabbed your head and turned your head up as he pressed his forehead to yours. You kept your eyes closed as the flames slowly dwindled.

“Was that so bad?” he stroked your cheek and trailed his finger down to poke between your lips, “No, it’s what you wanted, isn’t it, baby?” he wiggled his hips and you hissed, “yeah, you want me.”

#jake jensen #dark jake jensen #dark!jake jensen #jake jensen x reader #the losers #fic #dark!fic #dark fic #one shot

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jihyuncompass · 3 years

Text

A Birthday Visit

Well well well would you look at that. My very first Tears of Themis fic is for Marius’s birthday who could have guessed (anyone who knows me) Happy Birthday Marius, I can’t wait to see you again <3

For future reference, this fic was written for Marius’s 2021 birthday. As of yet Tears of Themis has not been released for the English audiences. I have played the beta but there is a chance Marius will be a little out of character as a result of the timing.

Summary: You visit Marius’s work to celebrate his birthday with him, even if he’s a little busy

Marius x MC

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: N/A

----------------------------------------

The PAX building was an intimidating one. That thought always came into your mind when you approached it. While the Law Firm was also one of the large skyscrapers that made up the Stellis skyline, the PAX building was taller, and quite the intimidating addition to said skyline.

It wasn’t the first time you’d been here, far from it, but it was rare for you to go into PAX for a non professional reason, or without being explicitly invited by Marius. You looked up at the building, even without meaning to your eyes focused on the window you knew belonged to Marius’s office. There was a good chance he was in there right now.

Adjusting your bag over your shoulder you walked through the doors and into the bustling first floor.

You walked through the groups of professionally dressed employees standing to chat idly, or summarize the recent meetings they had. Or stop to enjoy their coffee for a little while before getting back to work.

“Welcome to the PAX group.” One of the receptionists started as you walked to the desk. “How can I help you today?” You cleared your throat, speaking as eloquently as you can.

“Hello, I’m here to see Mr. Von Hagen? I’m a friend.” You said to the receptionist. She raised an eyebrow and looked up at you. Scrutinizing your appearance.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Von Hagen doesn’t see anyone without a meeting.” You pressed your lips together,

“I can promise you he’s a good friend of mine, it’s his birthday and-”

“I’m sorry I have no way to verify that you are who you say you are.” The receptionist said. You reviewed your options in your head, clearly she wasn't going to let you go up there on the promise of being a friend.

After a moment of brainstorming an idea came to you, digging through your bag you showed the receptionist your work ID badge, listing you as a lawyer for the Themis Law Firm.

“I’m also Mr. Von Hagen’s personal lawyer, he knows who I am.” The receptionist squinted at the ID, hesitant of it’s quality and authenticity. After typing at her computer briefly she sighed and relented.

“Aright, I do see your name here. I’ll let you up there and I’ll give a call to Mr. Von Hagen’s assistant to let them know you’re here.” You thanked her and hurried to the elevator. The first challenge was dealt with, now it was just time to go through with the rest of the plan.

You piled into the elevator with a group of suited men heading to what you assumed were their own desks and offices throughout the building, but you’d be one of the only people going as far up, to nearly the top floor where Marius’s office would be found.

The elevator was nearly empty by the time you made it up, only a few people exiting with you.

One of Marius’s assistants was waiting for you on the other side of the elevator. They greeted you as you approached them.

“Good afternoon.” They said. “I’m afraid to say that Mr. Von Hagen has been stuck in meetings all day so I’m not sure if he’ll be able to see you.”

You pressed your lips together, you should have asked him in advance, he was usually busier than he always let on.

“Well I just have a couple things I want to show him, I’m happy to wait for when he has a spare moment.” The assistant seemed unsure but shrugged.

“Very well, I’ll take you to his office, you can wait there. I’ll let him know that you’re there.” You followed the assistant down the long hallway to the office at the end, the largest by far, belonging to Marius.

The assistant closed the door behind you, the office was neat and tidy as it always was. Although it was Marius’s office, you were always a little disappointed by just how little of Marius seemed to be in the office. The sleek professional furniture, the carefully organized files, cup full of standard ballpoint pens didn’t seem like Marius. The rebellious, creative and playful Marius you knew well and had grown to adore.

Sitting on the couch in his office you decided to make use of your time by setting the present you’d gotten him out on the table, along with the small cake box. With your job and caseload you hadn’t had the time to make a particularly fancy or intricate cake. But something small the two of you could easily share.

You hummed to yourself gently as you got everything set up. Your eyes focused on the work in front of you. So much so you didn’t even notice as the office doors opened while your back was turned.

“So.” A voice said from behind you. The sudden noise startled you, making you jump. Quickly turning around you were face to face with Marius. Dressed with a full suit, although he had that playful gaze he kept around you. Seeing him, your shoulders relaxed, and a smile crossed your face. “I heard you wanted to see me.”

“I hoped I could catch you for a minute for your birthday.” You explained to him. “I should have asked about your schedule, I wouldn’t have come if I knew you were so busy.” Marius shook his head.

“Nah I’m glad you’re here. It’s a perfect surprise.” Marius looked past you and to the table behind you where everything was set up. His eyes lighting up with that almost childlike excitement he got. However that excitement was quickly clouded.

You frowned. “You don’t have a lot of time huh?”

Marius hesitated to answer you. “I don’t have a lot of time, I have a meeting in a half hour.”

As you looked from Marius to the table you straighten your back and beamed at him. “Well then let’s make this a fun half hour! Enjoy the time we have.” With this the playfulness returned. The Marius you loved to see.

Sitting beside one another, you made quick work of slicing the cake into two even slices for the two of you.

“I’m afraid it’s nothing fancy.” You said. “But I have no doubt it tastes good and that’s what matters, doesn't it?”

“Did you make it?” Marius asked, a brow raised curiously.

“I did, I’m not a baker though so be warned.” Marius picked up the fork, picking up the perfect bite of cake to get both the cake and the frosting on top. Watching him closely you made note of his reaction. “What do you think?”

Marius nodded. “It’s good, I think I would even say I’m impressed.” You relaxed against the couch.

“I’m glad you like it.” You said. “I was worried it wasn’t going to be very good.” You took a bite to taste it yourself, the sweetness of the cake hitting your tongue immediately. You’d had better cakes, but still you couldn’t deny the little part of you that was proud of what you’d made.

Not wanting to waste your time you quickly leaned forward to push some presents closer. This seemed to grab Marius’s attention away from the cake in his hand. He set it down to pick up one of the gifts, looking over the basic wrapping paper.

“Go ahead.” You encouraged. “Open it up! Take a look.” Marius stared with the smallest one, quickly tearing off the paper without much thought. He pulled out two tickets, reading the tiny text on them. “They’re for an upcoming art exhibition I read about online, I thought it’d be fun to go together. I don’t know nearly as much about art as you do but maybe you could teach me some stuff.”

Marius smirked. “I guess I could spare some of my expansive art knowledge to impart some on you.”

Holding back from rolling your eyes instead you gave him your best genuine smile. “I would love that. I’d love to learn from you.” Marius seemed pleased by this, as evidenced by the redness that quickly started growing on his face. Looking back at the gift he tried to get himself back under control.

Similar to the first gift Marius tore the wrapping paper off the second one. This one, a hand held sketchbook, bound nicely with a leather cover, his initials MVH put onto the front. A small note you’d written scribbled onto the first page.

“This is-”

“Well, you’re always working so hard here, or studying hard at university, and I know you would probably much prefer to be in your studio painting. So, that’s a little sketchbook, one you can carry anywhere.” Flipping through the pages, Marius’s expression turned soft, warm, happy, not holding that playful spark. “I know you probably could afford any notebook in the world, but this one is customized just for you, not another one of these exists just like it.”

The softness in his face stayed even when he looked up at you, even when he looked down again.

“Thank you, for this.” He held it carefully in his hands, as if he was afraid of damaging it too soon. Before he could even put pencil to paper for the first time. There were still a couple gifts left, but you let him linger on that one. Trying to memorize every single second in your mind.

The rest of the gifts were more basic things, special sweets, some art supplies you’d seen when you passed by the art store on your way home. Despite how basic many of these smaller gifts were, he never seemed ungrateful, and equally happy to see each one.

All the presents unwrapped, and cake nearly finished you both sat together happily. Looking at Marius with the initial excitement wearing off you started to see the exhaustion peeking through. The heaviness in his eyes, the way his shoulders were stiff yet slumped. He looked tired, worn out already.

“Your assistant said you’ve been in meetings all day?”

Marius rubbed his eyes. “Yeah, PAX has a big thing coming up. I’ve been in meetings since eight. This is the first break I’ve had all day.” As he spoke he loosened his tie, letting it release some of the tension in his shoulders and neck.

“You look exhausted.” You said. He sighed and closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Have you been resting?”

Marius’s eyes opened again. “I was at my studio late last night. But I’m fine.”

You looked more concerned, you doubted he was really resting enough. With everything he did, there was no possible way he was letting himself take breaks. Even on his birthday he seemed to be working full steam ahead.

“Marius, why don’t you lay down for a bit? Let yourself rest?” Marius looked over at you, as if he was trying to think through it, crunching the numbers in his head. Gently touching his shoulder you turned him to face you, his eyes raised to look at your face. You loosened up his tie some more and unbuttoned the top button on his dress shirt to let him relax.

“Come on.” You said in a soft voice. “Rest for a little bit.”

He considered this for a little while longer. Then let long a long sigh, he let himself lean forward enough to rest his forehead against your shoulder. Reaching up you rubbed his back, gently massaging to let him relax against you.

“I can’t rest for long.” Marius muttered. “There’s that meeting-”

“Something is better than nothing.” You reminded him. “How about you lie down? You can rest with me until your meeting.” He was still for a little while longer, then lifted his head long enough to move.

Marius’s head was laying in your lap. You gently played with his hair, running your fingers through the strands. Marius’s eyes slipped closed, his breaths long and even.

“My meeting-”

“I’ll get you up when it’s time. Rest right now.” You told him. He sighed and let himself fully rest.

“Thank you.” He muttered.

“Happy birthday Marius.” You whispered to him. Watching him rest, you couldn’t help but smile. This moment was going to be over sooner than later, soon he’d have to get up and get himself cleaned up, he’d go to that meeting, and then the next one and the next one until he could call it a day. He’ll probably go to his studio again, even if he’s exhausted. He’ll try and get some rest, but eventually he’ll get up and start it all again.

But right now he’s with you and resting. Enjoying the short break he could afford. Maybe not the best birthday one could have, but one that was more than happy.

#tears of themis #tot #marius von hagen #lu jinghe #marius x reader #lu jinghe x reader #wrote this in one day with a wrist brace how's everyone else doin

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hockeyisit · 3 years

Note

Could you do a piece of amelia and auston with the 22 NHL game? Maybe the photoshoot or something

I let out a groan as I rolled over in bed. Auston was standing in front of his dresser pulling on a pair of boxers while Felix lay in his abandoned spot on the bed.

“What are you doing?” I asked, pushing my face back into the pillow feeling exhausted.

“I have that photoshoot today,” he answered quietly. I turned my face to glance at my phone so I could check the time. 7:30AM. We had arrived back into Toronto late last night and I had stayed up later than Auston trying to get some of my stuff unpacked.

“What photoshoot?” I closed my eyes and pulled Felix closer to me. The jetleg catching up to me very quickly.

“For the NHL game,” he reminded me as he walked into the closet and started pulling on his clothes.

Felix squirmed in my hold before hopping off the bed and following Auston into the closet. Once he was finished getting dressed he made his way out of the closet and over to the bed where I was.

“I’ll be there for awhile,” he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, which was still buried in the pillows. I flipped over so I could look up at him.

“If you end up wanting to bring me lunch or something I can text you the address,” he whispered looking down at me with a glint in his eye. I smiled as I pushed myself up so I could give him a kiss.

“Do that, I’ll bring whatever you want” I said grinning. He smiled softly before giving me another kiss.

“Thanks baby. Get some more sleep,” he said as he pulled away. I smiled laying back against the pillows so I could get comfortable. Auston patted the couch and waited for Felix to hop on.

“I already took him out so just get some rest,” he told me before pushing himself up from the bed. He grabbed his phone off the charger and then made his way out of the room. I grinned to myself as I reached out to pet Felix before falling back into a blissful sleep.

-------

Waking up again I slowly rolled onto my side to check my phone. I had three messages from Auston and a few in our groupchat with his family.

Aus: I have a break around 1:30

I’m feeling anything you want.

Also can you bring my wallet, I forgot it. It's in my grey backpack. Buy lunch with my card.

I did a tapback to his responses instead of responding before moving onto the groupchat.

MAMA Matthews: Saw these and thought of you guys

She sent a photo with the text that had me laughing out loud.

As I went to respond I was interrupted by a call.

“Hey,” I said, answering the call from Steph.

“BABE!” she said excitedly. “Are you back in the six?” she asked, causing me to grin.

“Yes I’m back.”

She squealed loudly causing me to move the phone from my ear.

“I’m busy during lunch but want to walk the dogs after?” I questioned.

“Yes I’m free!” she excitedly explained. I squealed.

“Cant wait to see you,” I told her.

“Our usual?”

“Yes!” I answered happily.

We said our goodbyes before hanging up the phone. I glanced over at Felix.

“Want to go on a walk?” I questioned raising an eyebrow. He tilted his head extiedly.

“Yeah a walk babe,” I teased. He jumped up from the bed causing me to let out a loud laugh as I hopped up from the bed and pulled on Auston’s sweat-shorts and a shirt.

“Let go baby,” I called out to Felix leading him to the door where his leash was at. I slipped it on before leading him out the door.

-----

After my walk with Felix I got ready and started to make my way out to the door so I could pick up Taco Bell for Auston and I. Then made my way to the address that he had sent me too.

“Ma'am sorry I can’t let you in with identification,” a security guard said, stopping me at the door. I took my license out and handed it to him.

“I’m Auston’s finance,” I told him as he took it from my hands. He lifted his walkie talkie before repeating what I had said to him in it. After a moment the clarification came through.

“Thank you Mrs. Matthew’s,” he said, handing my ID back to me. I grinned as I made my way through the door.

“Thank you,” I called as I walked through.

I made my ways through the halls to where Auston had instructed me. I came across him in the middle of an interview. I hid myself behind the closest workers so that I could listen to what he was saying.

“Alright break time,” the director called out moments later. Slowly I made my way over to Auston a bit intimidated by all the people around.

“I have tacos,” I called out when I was close enough. Auston turned away from the man he was talking to so that he could grin at me.

“Hi babe,” he called, making his way over to me and grabbing the food from my hand.

“Just going to take the food and walk away?” I questioned raising my eyebrow at him. He let out a little laugh before leaning down to press a quick sweet kiss to my cheek.

“No, I just don't want you doing any heavy lifting,” he teased as he led us over to an empty table. He set the food down and pulled me down into the chair next to him.

“How you doing, baby?” Auston asked, reaching his hand around my chair and rubbing my back. I turned my body to face him, giving him a soft smile.

“I’m still pretty tired, I slept until 11:30,” I told him before reaching out to take a sip of my coke. He gave me a soft grin as he reached out to steal my cup from me. I whined as my hand followed him trying to grab it back.

“That’s mine,” I grunted as I pulled it back. He gave me an offended look and then took a bite of his taco.

“Why didn’t you get me one?” he pouted his lips. I shrugged my shoulders as I started eating my food.

“Didn’t think you’d want one,” I admitted after I finished swallowing my food.

“Well I do,” he said, reaching for my soda again. “I’m exhausted,” he admitted after taking a sip. I reached my hand out to rest on his shoulder.

“What have they made you do today?” I questioned rubbing my hand up and down his arm. He let out a deep breath as he leaned into my touch.

“Just a bunch of different interviews and photoshoots.”

“Have they been fun?” I asked. As Auston was about to respond we heard someone call his name.

“We need you for a few more shoots,” the woman continued once we had turned our attention to her.

“Ill be right back baby,” Auston said leaning forward to press a quick kiss to my lips. I pulled my phone out as he walked off to finish his photoshoot.

-----

“Amelia?” A woman said, approaching me where I was still sitting at the table Auston had left me at. I glanced up from my phone and gave her a soft smile.

“Yes?” I locked my phone, setting it down in my lap.

“Mr. Matthews requested that I come get you and bring you to where he is,” she said, giving me a friendly smile. I nodded my head as I quickly started cleaning up the garbage on the table from lunch.

“Okay,” I said standing up and following after her. She led me down a long hallway before turning into a dark room lit up with only a few bright white lights that were shining on Auston. We walked over to the corner of the room so that we were standing back behind all the people working on the lighting and photos.

Auston’s face lit up when he noticed me standing farther back.

“Hey baby,” he called out, raising his hand in a wave. I blushed as I felt everyone's attention turn to me. I gave a small hesitant wave before ducking my head slightly.

“He’s confident,” a voice next to me said, causing me to look up. I took in the male standing next to me trying to figure out why he looked so familiar.

“Yeah he’s always been pretty confident, but it looks good on him,” I blushed, turning to look back at Auston’s grinning face.

“Confident off the ice and on the ice,” he joked, causing me to let out a small laugh.

“That’s for sure,” I joked back. The guy let out a laugh, throwing his head back.

“I’m Leon,” he introduced himself, holding out his hand. I smiled as I reached out to shake his hand.

“Nice to meet you, I'm Amelia,” I responded.

“Your Mats girl?” he questioned. I nodded my head as I looked over at Auston. It looked like he was finishing up.

“Yeah.”

As Leon went to respond he was interrupted by Auston sliding up behind me and wrapping his hand around my waist.

“Hey Drai,” Auston said, reaching his hand out to give him a fistbump.

“Hey I was just talking to your girl here about how good you look up there,” Leon joked, nudging Auston’s arm as he pointed to where he had been standing earlier.

“Okay,” Auston laughed, pulling me further into his side. “Let’s see how good you look up there,” Auston teased him, causing the three of us to let out a laugh. Leon made his way over to the camera area and they immediately handed him his jersey.

“You looked hot up there babe,” I grinned, turning to look up at Auston. He grinned down at me before leaning in for a peck.

“Thanks,” he whispered as he pulled away. I giggled as I leaned into him.

“Are you done for the day?” I asked hopefully. Sadly he shoot his head no.

“No but a break so follow me,” he said, holding his hand out to me and pulling me out of the room into the hall.

“Where are we going?” I giggled as I trailed after him. He stopped walking and turned around to face me.

“I know a place,” he smirked before abruptly turning around and continuing on his way. I laughed loudly as I followed along.

“Here we are, my lady,” Auston grinned, pulling me into a family bathroom. I let out a loud laugh as he pushed me up against the door.

“This is not the sexy place I had in mind,” I joked as I pushed at his chest. He let out a laugh as he pulled away.

“I know, there aren't any private places here” he whined. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss. As I continued kissing him I let myself relax in his hold. A moment later a text tone went off. Auston pulled back to look at his phone.

“They want me back,” he said through a sigh.

“Alright well I think I;m going to head out,” I told him with a small pout. He leaned in to press a kiss to my lips.

“Okay I’ll see you at home babe.”

“Okay,” I said through a smile leaning in to kiss him again. He pulled away with a grin before slowly opening the door and peeking into the hallway.

“Coast is clear,” Auston said, pushing the door and making his way out with me hot on his trails.

-----

“Hi Felix,” I smiled. Felix greeted me at the door the second I arrived home.

“Let’s go for a walk buddy,” I grinned, picking up his leash. I dropped my purse onto the table next to the door and fished out my keys.

“Let’s go.”

I opened the door and started to make my way to the elevator. We waited a minute before the elevator appeared. There was a man standing in the corner on his phone and he gave me a small smile as I stepped in with Felix.

“Who’s this guy?” he asked sweetly, gesturing down to Felix.

“This is Felix,” I said, smiling down at my puppy. Felix's tail started wagging in excitement at hearing his name.

“Cute dog, when did you get him?” he questioned. Felix walked over to him and started sniffing him.

“Oh he was my fiance's dog when we met. I think he got him two years ago?” I said, sounding a bit unsure of what I was saying.

“Nice.”

“You can pet him if you want,” I encouraged him. He gave me a smile as he reached out to do so.

“Did you just move in?” I questioned knowing I had never seen him before. I felt like I knew or recognized everyone that lived here.

“Yeah 663. Had to move for my job.” I let out a sad sigh as I thought of all the memories Auston and I had made in that apartment with Freddie. The elevator doors opened and Felix took off out the door. We both let out a laugh as we followed.

“What’s your job?” I asked as we walked towards the lobby door.

“Uh I play for the NHL,” he shrugged, pulling the door open for me. I let the shock spread across my face for a quick second.

“So you must know Auston,” I paused once we had made it outside. He gave me a weird look as he raised his eyebrow.

“Auston Matthews, he’s my finance,” I said, reaching up to tuck a piece of my hair out of my face.

“Oh! I uh haven't actually met any of my teammates yet but I’ve played against him before,” he admitted.

“Nice well if you need any help getting around Toronto let us know. I should probably take this poor guy on his walk now though,” I said pointing to my puppy and slowly walking in the direction of our normal walk path. Suddenly Felix pulled really hard on the lease causing me to stumble forward as he tried to take off.

“Hey,” I warned him. I glanced in the direction of where Felix was trying to go and saw Steph and Zues. I squealed in excitement before quickly making my way over to her.

“Steph!! Show me the ring,” I exclaimed when I reached her. She blushed as she lifted her hand to show me her shiny engagement ring.

“It’s so beautiful,” I told her as I took her hand in mine. “Were you surprised when he asked?”

Mitch had told me that he was going to propose to Steph and had me help prepare for it. I had made sure she went to get her nails done by going to Arizona. We facetimed and pretended we were together. I thought for sure she would know that something was going on but she had seemed surprised when she had told me it happened.

“Yes I knew it was going to happen eventually but everything was absolutely perfect! I loved it so much.” She smiled. “Thanks for making me get my nails done.” She laughed, folding her arm into mine so that they were interlocked.

“Anything for you,” I said sweetly. Her smile lit up as she led us over to a bench. She unclipped Zues from his leash and then threw a tennis ball for him to chase. Felix whined from where he was standing near my legs causing me to look down. I hated taking him off the leash when Auston wasn’t around. I knew that Felix was a great dog and would never hurt someone but I got so worried that he would get lost or stolen. If we were in a dog park with a fence it would be a different story.

“I’m glad you said that because,” she was cut off by Zues dropping the ball at her feet and barking. She reached down for the ball and threw it again. “I was hoping that you would be one of my bridesmaids?” She questioned, glancing at me nervously. I felt my jaw drop open in shock at her question. I was completely surprised by her decision to ask me that.

“What?” I finally got out.

“Are you sure?” I asked. Steph had always had a lot of friends that she was really close with. I knew that she considered me to be one of her best friends the same way I did with her but I was still shocked at the fact that she wanted me to be in the wedding party.

“Of course, I would make you my maid of honor but I have to give my sister that,” she joked, throwing the ball again. I reached out and pulled her into a quick hug before feeling my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled my phone out to see an incoming call from Auston.

“Hello?” I asked swiping to answer the phone.

“Where did you two go?” Auston asked the second after I talked.

“We're at the park with Steph,” I answered.

“Oh. Do you think you could tire him out. My wrist is hurting a bit so I’m probably going to take the medicine and nap. I don’t want to have to take him out later,” he said. I glanced over to where Felix was laying on the ground looking at Zues play with a longing look in his expression. Letting out a soft sigh I knelt down and unhooked his leash.

“Yeah I can do that. Do you want me to pick up dinner or make dinner?” I questioned. Steph raised her eyebrow at me but I waved her off with my hand.

“We don’t have any groceries,” he responded. I heard the sound of the water running in the background before turning off.

“Okay I’ll pick up some food.”

“Sounds good see you then baby,” he said softly. I blushed as I mumbled back.

“Love you, hope your wrist starts to feel better.”

We hung up the phone and I turned back to Steph. “That was Auston. His wrist is bothering him a bit.”

“Oh. How did the surgery end up going?” she asked curiously. I shrugged my shoulders as I kept an eye on Felix running around with Zues.

“It was fine. Honestly I think Freddie took care of Auston more after it then I did,” I joked. She laughed with me before giving me a soft smile.

“I’m sure you guys will miss him.”

It was no secret that Freddie was such a big part of Auston and my life. He had lived with us during two of the offseasons and during the year he lived in the same apartment building. When we first met I wasn't sure how to feel about how close their friendship was but as time went on it just became the norm.

“Yeah we spent pretty much the whole summer with him. Only time we probably weren't with him was when we went to Mexico.”

Felix came running back over to us with Zeus following right after. Felix dropped the ball before taking a seat right at my feet. I let out a little laugh as I grabbed the ball and picked it up. He made no move to stand though so I just handed the ball back to Steph.

“You tired Felix?” I asked, reaching down to ruffle his hair. “Ready to go home to Papi?” He let out a bark in response causing Steph and I to laugh.

-----

I dropped Felix off at the apartment before deciding to make the trip to the grocery store so that I could cook dinner for Auston and I tonight. I knew that if Auston’s wrist was hurting him he was going to be a bit extra crabby then he normally is so I wanted to do something nice for him and make him a meal that reminded him of his family.

I had decided to make Auston’s favorite meal, his Mama’s famous tortilla soup. She had given the recipe to me over the summer and I had made it with her a few times trying to get it just right. I hadn’t told Auston that I was learning though so I was kind of excited to surprise him with it.

When I got back from the grocery store I quickly put everything away and then started making the soup. Once it was finished I left it to simmer while I made my way into our room to see if Auston was still sleeping.

I quietly pushed the door open to see Felix laid out at the end of the bed wrapped around Auston’s feet and Aus passed out facing the door. A smile ghosted my lips as I walked further into the room. I walked over to my side of the bed and crawled in so that I was big spooning him. He shifted in my arms before relaxing against me.

“Aus,” I whispered softly.

“Huh?” he mumbled uot.

“I made dinner. Why don't you get up and eat some,” I pressed a kiss to the back of his neck which was slightly sweaty.

“Five minutes,” he responded tiredly.

“Okay. Are you feeling okay?” I rubbed my hand up and down his arm gently, careful of his wrist.

“Fine.”

“Your sweaty,” I pointed out.

“It’s hot in here,” he pointed out “I don’t think we ever turned the air on.” I thought about it for a moment before realizing that he was right.

“I can go turn it on,” I said about to push myself up off the bed. He let out a groan as his hand stopped me.

“Can you just hold me for a bit longer.” Something in his voice caused my chest to ache and all I could do was nod.

“I made your favorite for dinner,” I mumbled quietly. He hummed in response.

“Tortilla soup,” I clarified for him. “Your Ma’s recipe.”

“Yum,” he smiled, before pushing himself up into a sitting position. He turned to face me and leaned down to press a passionate kiss to my lips.

“I love you baby,” he whispered when he pulled away.

“I love you too.”

I knew Auston was nervous and scared for what this new season was going to hold. Especially with all the uncertainty of his wrist and Freddie being gone. I also knew that this season was going to be just fine and he was worrying about nothing.

“Let’s go eat.” I climbed out of the bed holding my hand out to Auston. He took it and together we made our way into the kitchen stoppin to turn on the air.

“Oh my god, taste just like my moms,” he moaned as he took another spoonful.

A.N: Sorry this took so long for me to write. I hope you like it. I'm planning on working and finishing a lot of the request that y'all have sent in. I have a few that are already half written so I hope to get those posted soon! ps. sorry if this one is kinda boring.

#Auston and Amelia #auston matthews x reader #auston matthews fanfic #auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews fic #auston matthews imagine #toronto maple leafs fic #toronto maple leafs writing #toronto maple leafs fanfic #toronto maple leafs imagine #nhl writing #nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey fic #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

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