Today I went to a friend's house and forgot he was really enthusiastic about guns, so he showed me his collection of toy ones upon request. I picked up a smaller, realistic one and grabbed him by his ponytail, playfully hitting it's slide on his cheek. I was just trying to take a reaction out if him since he had been telling me for ages about how he was definetly not gay, much less a masochist, but things got... odd.

I rubbed the gun's muzzle against his lips with a grin, trying to sweet talk him into taking it while he forced himself to not say a thing.

In the end, I thrusted it in his mouth a few times and he finally got brave enough to deepthroat it, gagging, coughing and tearing up. I patted his head and told him what a good boy he was for me and how he did such a good job. He was impossibly embarassed but I swore I saw his dick twitching under his shorts.

We laughed it off and nothing else really happened, but I still haven't stopped thinking about it. Fuck.

I really don’t know who to ask, I wish I had any friends to talk to about this. I am very devoted to my man, and I am very attracted to him. I love to serve him and much of our sexual relationship has been me serving him by choice. When we have sex I refer to him as my owner, I’m his fuck doll etc etc. but lately I’ve been having a big problem. I’m the one who started with any of the kink stuff, he would be fine not doing any of it and I don’t think it’s really his “thing” cuz he wouldn’t think of or do any of this stuff if I didn’t bring it up.

Im having a hard time feeling wanted at all. Especially putting myself in this position where I want to please him always, it feels like he never wants me like that and it hurts. I’m always the one initiating, asking him if he wants oral or sex and usually he just agrees. He never compliments me, says I look sexy, or tells me he wants me at all. He never initiates except sometimes when he’s hard in the morning he’ll show me and then I’ll take care of it. It’s hard for me because I want to feel like I’m sexy and wanted but I just don’t. I’ve brought it up to him and he swears he’s attracted to me and that he does compliment me.

How do I feel sexy and wanted? Should I just trust his word? I’m truly lost.

 Kiddo, he can be completely honest, you can be completely trusting, and he can still leave you feeling unwanted. Because even well-intentioned, caring people can hurt one another.

With that said, your description makes me wonder things like “is he actually kinky?” and “has she ever truly asked?” You’re looking to feel sexy and wanted —reasonably enough!— but you can’t get that from someone you don’t understand.

Let’s start from the beginning: some men like to relax at the dinner table and have their meals presented to them. Some men like to pitch in by arranging the place settings. Hell, some men like to do a bit of the cooking themselves! And unfortunately, some men would like to sit at the table, but can’t be comfortable because they don’t believe they deserve the seat.

(Of course, there are also men with food allergies, men on hunger strikes, men who fall asleep on the couch twenty minutes before dinner, and clumsy men who break plates. But I’m focusing on the preceding four right now.)

All the devotion in the world can’t turn the second or third type into the first. They are who they are, and trying to change them not only risks souring the relationship… it risks turning someone you love into an antagonist in your life story.

There’s some hope for the fourth… they can evolve. It’s possible for the right sort of girl to show the right sort of man that he’s more than he thought. But only if he’s at a place in his life where he’s ready to truly hear what she has to say and believe her. She can’t just tell him he’s special… she has to convince him, and he needs to be open to convincing.

For the sake of both optimism and your mood, let’s assume that your guy is this fourth type. What does that mean?

If he isn’t ready for it, it won’t happen. For so many reasons —emotional, practical, sexual— it has to be something he embraces for himself. Not for you. Not for the relationship. He has to be able to live with himself while loving and using you at the same time.

If you’re more experienced or unreservedly enthusiastic about kink, your attempts to initiate sex could easily feel more like pressure than a release. You need to talk to him outside the confines of a romantic evening, and explain to him that while you feel “right” when you put his desires before your own, nothing would make you feel more “right” than seeing him put himself first. Show him that “I want” are the two sexiest words he can ever say.

You should think more deeply about service. I know you’ve got lots of fantasies, and ideas derived from other folks’ fantasies, but none of that matters. None of that is Service unless it makes his load lighter, his balls emptier, or his life better. You’re doing it for him. His needs are particular, and your service should be as well.

With that said, he needs to understand that you don’t want to be complimented… you want to be seen. Which means he should be looking far deeper than “you’re pretty” to the needy, pathetic little servant you long to give him. You’re not gonna feel wanted and sexy until he makes you feel purposeful and used.

Sooo, about the ask thing. First off all congratulations I love you and your writing 💜 you seem like such a nice, intelligent and funny person. But was thinking what if namjoon comes home drunk and guilty about something he did and vixen comforts him. Love u💋

Title: Drunk (&) In Love

Pairing: Namjoon x reader (nicknamed Vixen)

Wordcount: 2.6k

Genre: crack, fluff, (also, vaguely allusive)

Rating: 18+ cause THESE TWO ARE A MESS FOR EACH OTHER

Synopsis: apparently Namjoon's stag party went a bit too wild. Mostly since he was drinking guilt away. What could that possibly be about?

Trigger warnings: swearing, consumption of alcohol, horny!drunk Joon, he clumsily tries to seduce his fianceé in front of yoonjintae (second-hand embarrassment), stressing over vows, mentions of kinky letters, they discuss future and the fear of marrying young and pretty much out of the blue and they be mentioning the idea of having kids. Also, watch Vixen being the caregiver.

Author's note: Thanking the sweetheart @ironicarmy !!! I love exchanging WIPs and Beta reading! It was so fun and I AM LOVING YOUR WIP SO HARD IM GONNA EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't wait for it to be out so I can fangirl in public LOLOLOL; also thanking @dopesportsoperatorzonk for this request! (I got your feminism ask, I promise I'm almost done, I wanted to have a quite thorough view before replying and I'm still thinking about some stuff, but it'll be readdy super soon!!!)

Here's my masterlist, btw, and enjoy 💜✨

You weren't supposed to wait up for him, but it was like your sixth sense was telling you to do precisely that. And your premonition turned especially accurate once you were met with the sorry sight of Namjoon hanging off Taehyung's and Seokjin's body, grinning as he saw you appear at the door, head to toe smitten, only to turn to his friends with a sneer as he realised you were wearing his favourite silk robe. The deep crimson colour seemed to spark the colour of your hair on fire, and make the lineaments of your face sharper, older, with a kind of allure he still couldn't understand. “Little fox,” he said, going grabby hands while his arms were still around his friends' shoulders.

You tried to keep your expression stern as you looked at the two men literally holding him up. “What is this? Didn't I tell you to bring him home whole and safe?”

Taehyung lowered his gaze to the floor.

“Is this your idea of safe, Seokjin? I expected better.”

“You know him. He did this to himself.” Yoongi spoke neutrally from behind the three.

“Yoongi. Him being a fucking grizzly doesn't mean he can hold his liquor. Bring him in,” you said, freeing the entryway for the triplet coming in, Yoongi in tow.

“We should have brought him to the dorms,” he muttered.

“Dorms?!? Aneeyo…” Namjoon babbled, shaking his head, falling with his ass on the sofa. “No babylove in dorms,” he said with a hiccup. “Hello, little one,” he purred, grabbing your hips and trying to pull you towards him.

You blushed and slapped at his wrists. “I'll deal with you later—”

“Feisty brat,” he spoke sultrily, making Yoongi shake his head while Seokjin and Taehyung snickered before being chastised by your scolding stare.

“How come he's drunk off his ass and the three of you are perfectly okay?”

“He's the one getting married,” Taehyung replied, matter of factly. “And yes, he was the one who swallowed a bottle of hard liquor without even flinching.”

You glance at Namjoon with a scornful expression.

He did some very drunk, very clumsy attempt at a wink that made you inhale as you desperately looked for a crumb of patient left.

“You'd better go home, before I smack you all on the head,” you said, shooing them off.

“You'd have to reach it first,” Taehyung muttered, making Seokjin giggle, Yoongi rubbing his face at the verbal violence that was about to come.

“Kim Taehyung. I may not be tall enough for your royal head, but your girlfriend is my best friend. I won't say much more because I'm sure your friends aren't interested in your ass getting bruised.”

Yoongi smiled smugly at that one.

“Hell yeah…” Namjoon chuckled from the sofa, one hand reaching for the back of your thigh.

“No. Not now.”

“Later then?” He asked with puppy eyes before they turned into a very tipsy version of his intense dragon glance. “You’re so sexy when you’re mean,” he rumbled, a hand reaching for your thigh underneath the robe.

“Kim Namjoon, if you don’t stop I will unwife you in this instant.” Still, the other three men in the room were a mess of embarrassed coughing and teasing snorts. “You can all go home right now,” you said with a curt tone.

“You’re not gonna be able to take him to bed by yourself.” Yoongi cocked an eyebrow as he spoke calmly.

“Mh, Vixen, take me to bed, please,” Namjoon murmured as he tried to seduce you, just as you looked at him and replied, “No need to take him to bed. He’s sleeping on the sofa tonight.”

“See? I told you she found out! She has a sixth sense for this stuff! She can sense it! She can smell fear! I told you!!!” Namjoon babbled, grabbing your wrist. “Little fox...” he cooed, making a fool of himself.

“Go home. All of you. Now.”

Taehyung was the first to leave without even saying goodbye. He knew he would pay for it. Seokjin was the next, saying bye to Namjoon very briefly before bowing to you — just slightly. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, goodnight,” he apologised, making his way out.

“Yoongi?”

He rubbed his neck. “I’m sorry. Really. I— I didn’t do my job.”

You shook your head. “This is a mess I’ll have to deal with.”

“You know you’ll kind of have to deal with him for the rest of your life, right?” Yoongi looked at Namjoon, head in his hands, fingers tugging at it nervously.

You followed his gaze, meeting Namjoon in the poorest of states. “I know. He’s my business now. Go.”

Yoongi left without much resistance after that, the door of your apartment finally shutting for good.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon said, staring up at you as you stood before him. “I fucked up, I’m sorry.”

You placed your hands on his cheeks. “What happened, Joonie bear?”

He shook his head, lip going wobbly. “I’m so sorry!” he babbled again, eyes glossy with unshed tears.

“Oh, no, baby…” you managed to whisper before he dove for your lap, burying his face there. “What happened, love?”

He shook his head.

“Nothing’s gonna change the fact that I love you, big bear.” You caressed his hair as his voice confessed, half-muffled against your tummy.

“I sneaked a look at the dress.” You could hear his words coming out from a pout.

“Joonie—”

“Please don’t unwife me!” He cried out, his voice way too high pitched. “I don’t want to sleep alone ever.” He hugged your legs and held you closer. “I want to sleep next to you until I die.” He got even more emotional as he went on. “I want you to always pet my hair and tell me you’re proud of me and cook for me and be my sweetheart and my babylove and my little fox forever, even when we’re old and I get bald.”

You smiled and invited him to let go of your legs before sitting down, your legs slightly parted laying across the sofa. “Come here, big bear,” you said, patting your stomach. He did as he was told, laying his head below your chest and stretching his long body all over the seat. He struggled a little, his sense of balance temporarily worse than usual. “Soon I’ll be lawfully your bride. Forever. We’re almost there, honey. Just a week.”

He nodded.

“And then I’ll be your little fox until I’m nothing but ashes. And then some,” you reassured him, petting his lovely head, digging your fingers into the knots in his upper back.

“Writing the vows was so difficult.”

“I know baby,” you kept rubbing at his trapezoi until he released a relieved grunt. “I know that must have been really stressful for you.”

“I had to rewrite them sixteen times. Sixteen!” His hand absentmindedly reached your thigh and started rubbing small circles there. “Everytime, they were too long, or too cliché, or something I just couldn’t read in public because you know our letters.”

“I know our letters,” you confirmed, thinking about his messy handwriting on cheap paper, and entire sheets of words that he sent you everytime something important happened, everytime he had to travel for his job, everytime he just needed to make love to you on a deeper level. And then, thinking of your replies, always heartfelt, emotional, with fine calligraphy on expensive ivory sheets often marred with rough spots where a tear fell — most of the time because of joy and gratitude and obliterating, overwhelming love. “Will you read to me the other sixteen versions too, once we’re alone?”

He nodded. “I’ll read them all. I’ll write new ones every day. Small, simple, absolutely mundane. Stuff like, ‘I’ll do the dishes tonight’, or ‘Let’s go out for dinner’, or ‘I wanna grow old with you’ or ‘I don’t wanna watch that porn tonight, let’s just stare into each other’s eyes while naked and have the best tantric sex ever performed’.”

You chuckled and placed your hand atop of his. “I like the last one.”

“But I couldn’t say it in front of your parents, therefore I couldn’t write it in our vows.” He scoffed and shook his head before planting it between your breasts, nosing at the lapels of the robe until he could kiss your naked skin.

“I might have written something along those lines in one of my drafts.” Having this conversation with Namjoon while he was halfway drunk off his ass was extremely entertaining; however, you felt sad at the possibility of him not remembering this moment.

“What else did you write in that draft?” He closed his eyes, waiting for your soft voice to calm him down.

You smiled and slightly teared up at the thought, his chin propped on your chest, one of his thumbs reaching out to dry up a tear. “I wrote that I hope I get to make you smile every day and see that insanely cute and sexy dimple of yours every morning after you wake up. And I want to be the only one listening to your deep bedroom voice waking me up. And I want to listen to you as you talk to our children. I wanna hear all the stories, and watch your smile shine on their faces.”

Namjoon hid his face against your chest, feeling tears roll down his cheeks.

“I want them to have your eyes. I want to see your complete wonder as they learn about the world, as you teach them about the world in that grand and beautiful way you see it.” You sniffled and he cupped your face, kissing your lips so slowly, the heavy tang of liquor barely tainting the moment.

“I want to walk by your side, until we’re too tired to walk and watch time pass by, without worries, without haste. I don’t care where we’re walking because you were the place I was destined to be.”

Namjoon couldn’t explain tenderness or love or devotion or faith as deep as the ones he felt for you. He probably wasn’t skilled or trained enough.

“I know we’re young. I know this is more of a bet than an actual marriage. I’ve seen people who have been together for years part ways so easily and I don’t even know why you said yes to me. Sometimes I doubt I’m deserving and I see in how many ways I’m lacking and I ask myself, 'why the hell did she say yes to me?' ” He snickered sarcastically. “I wouldn’t have said yes to myself.”

You shook your head and kissed his brow.

“But I’ve been with other people and you have too and… I don’t know, sometimes I feel like this will take a lot of effort but then I hear you laugh, I hear you calling my name and I know, I can feel that that’s what it is supposed to sound like.”

You smiled at him, fixing your position so he could lay on you without worrying about smashing your body.

“I’m so confused and so grateful for this. It’s like… Suddenly winning the lottery. One minute you’re just a person and next you realise you’re going to be a husband. And you don’t know what’s going to happen to you, how your life is going to change, but with you I’m not scared.” He chuckled. “Well, I am. But you make me braver than my fears. And I know I could lose you any day. I could fuck up, or we could just drift apart or something. But any moment spent with you is bigger. It’s better and brighter.”

By now you were a teary mess, face drenched in tears, his arms around your torso as he held onto you. “My soul has found a home in you and I will cherish it. I’ll take care of that home. I’ll make sure nothing damages it. I’ll help you work on it if you want to change it. I will make more room when our family gets bigger. I will fix it when I can. I’ll stay by your side when I’m not skilled enough to heal you. To fix you.” He sniffled, voice hollow and weak as he spoke through a lump in his throat. “And I’ll leave if you ever ask me to.”

You shook your head and hugged him, letting him sob in your arms. “I hope I never lose you.”

“Don’t be a silly bear,” you comforted him, lulling him, holding him close to your heart. “I’ll be your bride. Your spouse. Your wife.” You kissed his head. “And your home. Your relief. Your dirty, secret affair. Your devoted companion too. Your goddess and your toy. I’ll be your friend. And the mother of your children, when we want to.”

God, if he wanted to… But first, he needed to enjoy having you all to himself for a couple more years. Just to make sure you hadn’t been both bold and immature and absolutely stupid about getting married almost two years after meeting for the first time.

“So I’m not getting unwifed for sneaking a peek at the dress?”

You shook your head. “It looks completely different once worn.”

“Really?” His expression exploded with euphoria.

You smiled. “Really.”

His drunken grin was back. “So I’m gonna sleep on the bed right?”

You acted as if you were even thinking about it. “You’re really drunk.”

“I’m soberer now.”

“And you embarrassed me in front of your friends,” you reminded him with a cocked eyebrow.

“Not my fault my wifey’s so hot,” he said with a slightly more accomplished wink.

“Not your wifey yet,” you reminded him.

He tutted. “Just a matter of days.” He kissed your sweet spot, on the side of your neck. “It’s only a technicality.”

You looked at him suspiciously. “A technicality, you say?”

He nodded and held you tighter.

“This technicality could still leave you at the altar, waiting,” you teased.

“Come on, I want to sleep next to you.” He kissed your cheek. “On our bed.” He kissed you again. “Where we’ll be making so many babies.”

“Stop right there, mister.” You placed a finger against his plush lips before you shook your head no. “No babies for a few years. I want you all mine, hubby.”

He chuckled and pressed his forehead against your chest bone. “Okay, fine, but I just meant hypothetically. You know, for practice.”

“Yeah, I think I could use some practice. I want to be perfect at it.”

He smiled and kissed your nose. If only she knew how perfect she is, he thought, haphazardly sitting up and waiting for you to help him on his feet, the whole discourse sobering him up enough that he managed to sit on the bench in the bathroom as you washed his face and brushed his teeth, as you undressed him and helped him in the shower, undressing and joining him, his body too tired and unstable to initiate anything fancy.

And then you towelled him up, rubbing body lotion on his always-too-dry legs before helping him in his boxers.

And through the process, he understood how it was that you loved him so much anytime he got you ready for bed. He should let you do this more often. Especially when he wasn’t exhausted or drunk, so he could properly enjoy being cuddled and fondled and babied.

What he didn’t expect was for it to feel so comfortable when you slid up against his back on the bed, spooning his ridiculously large body with your smaller one. “Sleep tight, big bear,” you said before kissing his nape. “Eight more sleeps and we’ll be married.”

He smiled. “Goodnight, little fox.” And with that, he caught your hand in his and fell asleep.

OKAY THIS IS AN IDEA THAT POPED INTO MY HEAD AND I CANT GET IT OUT!

It’s a Bakugou x oc but with SPICE an enemy’s to lovers SPICE!! so this is my first fic like this so let’s get to it I swear it’s good just read it please

Ryu’s pov:

I’m a transfer student. Things were pretty testy at my old school so my parents decided to stick me in another one. But they left out the one small detail that I was transferring to Ua. I guess the school thought I was good enough.

Today was my first day. I put on my unifor the skirt ending right by the top of my thighs. The shirt tight against my skin. The knee socks whitch were my favorite that ended at my knees of corse.

The uniform accented my curves. I guess it wasn’t made for a body type like mine. That’s fine it will be eaiser with my quirk anyways. I pulled my long pink curly hair into a high ponytail with bangs. My brown skin made my hair pop even more. I looked in the mirro. I looked presentable. Maybe a little slutty but it’s not my fault this unifor isn’t suited for a biracial girls curves. I grabbed my backpack. My parents already helped me move all my stuff to the dorms while the rest of the students were in school. I waved goodbye to my room kissed my parents and set off to the school.

I was nervous who won’t be but it was gonna be fine class 1a can’t be that bad right.

It was. It was that bad.

I entered the classroom after getting lost and a teacher directing me there. I opened the door and I saw the teacher I walked in and bowed. “Hello Aizawa sensi I’m the transfer student” “ah class I forgot to mention we have a transfer student” the calss immediately started talking. “How did you forget?” “Wow a new student” “who is she?” Are some of the things I could hear that were said. I stand in front of the class.

“Hello I’m Ryu Yu I’m transferring here I’m I have no idea what else to say. Oh also my pronouns are they/them if you have any questions I’ll answer them”

“Look at how short her skirt is she’s probably easy” I hear someone say “Mineta!” A girl that’s pink slaps the boy on his head. My eye color changes form it’s normal pink to red. I look at the boy that they call Mineta. “Excuse me” I walk up his desk “First of all my pronouns are They/Them and if you ever say something like that to me again” I squat down to his eye level and mutters so only he can hear me “I’ll crush you like the fucking grape you are” I stand back up and turn away from him smirking at the look of terror on his face.

A girl name Tsu raises her hand and asks “what is they/ them?” I smile “They/ them basically mean you know how you call someone she her that’s exactly how you use they them” “oh! Thank you” she reply’s. Then a rough looking boy in the back with ash blond hair says “tch just another weakling” I glare at him “who the hell you calling weak?” He narrows his eyes at me and stands up “you look like a weakling like I could crush you like a bug” “you think you scare me pretty boy? It’s your type that have the most insecurities I wonder which ones you have~” the class goes wide eyed my guess is that no one speak is to this idiot like I am. He gets in my face “say that again” he makes sparks in his hands. His quirk I’m guessing. “Your just a loud mouth privileged asshole!” He lunges at me and I smirk one of his friend a tall red head grabs him and pulls him back. He’s shouting insults and I just stand there as if I couldn’t have a care in the world. I look at the teacher even he looks surprised. “Where is my seat?” He points at a desk next to a green haired boy who looks very sacred.

I take my seat down next to him and say “I swear I’m not mean to people who don’t deserve it what’s your name?” “Oh um I’m Izuku Midoryia but people call me Deku” “Deku?” “Yeah it’s along story” “well you’ll have to tell me it sometime” he smiles

As class starts and through out the day I learn everyone’s name. Now it come for quirk training class and they split us up into partners. And lucky me Bakugous my partner.

“I’m going enjoy blowing you to bits” he says I smirk “kinky” his eye widen “I didn’t mean it like that shitty girl your gonna get it” he makes mini explosions with his hands and I roll my eyes. See I’m the product of quirk mulitpling. My parents and my parents parents were all forced to marry to make powerful children. My mother has 3 quirks and my father has 6. I have 5 that all merge into eachother some way. Most of them are cause of a chemical imbalance in me. I usually don’t use one of them cause it’s deadly and I would rather not kill anyone. But I was breed to be a killing machine so let’s say my child hood wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. My parents are villains so is the rest of my family. But my mom didn’t want me to be some an assassin she wanted me to chose my path. Which is why she picked this school.

The teacher says to start and Bakugo lunges at me and just as it looks like he’s about to hit me I disappear into thin air then I end up behind him and I hit him with my vines. They wrap around his body and throw him to the ground it all happens in a flash. And the pure confusion on his face is priceless. I reappear and he looks pissed then he burns off my vines and stands up I yawn. “You think this is funny!?” He yells “no I think it’s boring” I smirk as he growls and goes to attack me again. “Fine I’ll play fair this time I won’t disappear” he sends an explosion my way and I fly into the air and create thorns and sent them flying into his skin. He cry’s out in pain as they cut him. “How the fuck are you doing this what is your quirk?!” He aks me. I drop to the ground.

I’m better at long distance fighting it’s what my quirks are suited for. But I’m supposed to be training and if I want to get better I have to work on my close combat. The huge draw back to my quirks is that if I use them to much tattoos that look like vines will appear on my arms and they inject deadly posing into my blood stream. Now my body is use to the poison but if to much of it is released into my body I could die. And the posin makes me loopy and nauseous almost drunk like. It isn’t idea for battle at all. Also I have many weak points in my body where if you hit them I won’t be able to use one of my quirks. Hit all of them and I’m done for.

“Now why would I tell you that?” I walk towards him. I don’t how a power quirk but I can use my fly quirk to make my punches even more powerful then they should be. He sends an explosion at my face and I use a wall of vines to sheild myself they disinagrate but protect me. He keeps on trying to use his explosions and I keep defecting. I sigh “this is getting boring use a different tactic!” I disappear again and strik him in his back he falls to the ground and gets back up theres blood dripping from his mouth

“Shit did I hit him to hard?” I say to myself he sends an explosion my way and I don’t have time to deflect “oH SHIT” I brace myself as I feel the heat around me causing a few burns. We keep going and by now the whole class is staring at us out of worry and awe. But both of us are beating up eachother really bad. It seems as if we are trying to kill eachother. The insults that we keep throwing at eachother seem to fuel our adrenaline.

Then the teachers steps in and pulls us away from eachother. We fight against there grips still yelling curses at eachother. I give up and push against the teacher grip. “Let go of me I’m fine!” “No your bleeding from several spots go to the recovery girl ” “I’m fine” “weak” Bakugou sneers “prick!” I shoot back “bitch” “asshole” “slut” my eyes turn red and I lunge at him this time it’s one of the student who stops me. It’s Deku. “ let go of me” Kirishima walks up to Bakugou and slaps him in the back of the head. “Don’t disrespect women it’s not manly” bakugo still being help back by one of the teachers,yells at Kirishima.

“Cmon Yu you do look very injured poets get you to recovery girl” I sigh I don’t like being mean to people who don’t deserve and Deku is really sweet I can’t say no to him “fine but I’m not gonna like it” he chuckles “that’s fine with me”

((SO IM SORRY IF THAT WAS BAD THAT IS JUST A TEARSEE FOR IT I JUST REALLY LOVED THIS IDEA))

So, I just started to play Obey Me! Shall We Date

And well, I have thoughts

Im currently stuck on the first levels of lesson 5, so my knowledge of the plot is limited to that + some spoilers I accidentally got while going though the obey me! tag. Do I have a deep understanding of this game? No. Am I gonna rant anyway? Yeah. See me do another one of these soon after I play it some more, but for now, I need to put this out there:

First, mechanics-wise, the first thing on my mind was "Mr. Love from Hell", which is honestly not too far fetched. Maybe it's because I'm playing in my old ass tablet (I need a new phone, this thing ain't gonna survive 2020) but it's just so slow??? I've tried downloading full data, and it kinda helped, but still, it just annoys me so much! It's not crashing like crazy (cof cof Love Island The Game cof cof) but it could be better, it takes forever to get the itens to level up cards because it just ????????? takes forever for them to load???? anyone else got this problem or it's just my device? Anyway, that aside, I quite like it, if you played MLQC, it's pretty easy to manage, and while it takes a bit more of attention to win battles, I think that's a good thing. Getting shards has a been a bitch, like, I keep on suffering with the loading and my competitive ass wants to finish begginer's missions, and again I think Mr. Love has spoiled me. Also, someone please tell me how to level up skills, because I have no idea???

Now, moving on to the actual tea: what do I think of these boys?

Let's go in order, shall we:

So, I open the app and I see Lucifer in all his red and black glory, furry cape, Dom-Daddy, Big D Energy for days and go "Oh, Demon!Nobunaga, fun!". I'm immediately drawn to him beacause Nobu was my first ever otome guy and while I eventually grew out of the whole "this man is so controlling and sexy and dark" phase, nostalgia ya know? So, turns out the vibe I keep getting from Lucifer is more like all those dark-kinky-Jumin-Han-fanfics (as in, the only parts of Jumin Han that I hate) rather than Nobu? Idk man, this guy just seems shady?? They all do honestly but Lucifer is just plain scary. Dude, I know you've got the whole "most-powerful-oldest-control-freak" going for you but, like, can you chill?

Yet I can't really blame him, cause, Veronica (that's my MC's name) why, girl???? She be going up those stairs, and I'm just ??? Real talk, I'm kinda of a rule follower? I don't wanna make this guy mad, man, all I wanna do is hit on Satan (which we shall discuss soon) and see some family drama shenanigans. Lucifer says "don't go up those stairs" I'd be like "okay???" because up until now he hasn't given me a reason to not trust him (aside from being shady)??? But I have no choice but go talk to Belphegor (don't even get me started on this one) and I can just tell I'm gonna get in trouble for this. Could I not get there accidentally? Do I have to go there against Lucifer's direct orders? I don't think this is gonna go well, I just don't wanna get on his bad side hskshskshk

Lucifer's room, however, is everything to me, the deco is lovely (skeleton aside) and that bed, maaaannnn

Mammon started really annoying but he's been growing on me. I have a soft spot for dumb bitches like him, I guess? He just cracks me up? Not to be cheesy, but I like him as a friend? Maybe that'll change in the future, who knows, but for now that's how I see him, the best friend guy who is gonna be in love with you in every single route (read, Seven, but dumber). Can't wait for the angst. Looks wise I kind got him mixed with Solomon at some point (my dumbass though it was a bug) but all those Surprise Guest moments have me thinking he's way cuter than I gave him credit for at first.

I always feel bad for ratting him out to Lucifer, but boy, you and Veronica practically share one single brain cell, okay? I need to get my girl into Lucifer's good graces, I ain't about that troublemaker life

Levi is gonna be brief: No. He's not my type (otome or real life wise) and he annoys me. He reminded me a bit of Yoosung at first, and I'm trying to power though it like I did with him, but I can't. He keeps dragging me into his stuff and it's not cute, it makes me resent Levi. I'm not much of a tsundere enthusiast by nature, and I really don't like when they portray fans and gamers in this kinda "I'm weird, look at me I'm so weird and different" light ("have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? that's weird" jsjdndmsksjdnsmskdjnddm). It comes across (to me at least) as childish and dumb (not endearing dumb, like Mammon). Idk, maybe I'll change my mind? Don't come for me, Levi stans

So Satan

I love Satan

Otome makes you say the strangest shit hm

Still. I haven't interacted much with him but I'm obsessed with this man. Let me date you, okay? You look like posh book-cat-candle super model I wish existed. Let's be petty together. Since I haven't been playing long I hope I don't end up regretting putting my heart and soul into loving you. I'm doing all kinds of jobs to get intimacy go up with him, because guyghbkhiugiygufgfydddyghvjgvjg I'm all about that soft dom energy he has going for him, it's basically everything I love about Jumin Ham, but less CEO and more cute-bookstore-guy. Ideally, Satan is 100% my type, even if not the usual otome route I take first. Also, he is the Avatar of Wrath, which, along with Pride, is my most prominent sin, so I might be projecting

Pls babe don't turn out to be terrible

Kay, so Asmo. Asmo gives me all the Shingen vibes but realistic Shingen. Like, of Shingen is all about worshiping his MC, Asmo looks like he wants to be worshiped himself. Not judging, tho. That thing he said about loving himself above all things, I feel like it was supposed to be shady but I kinda agree? He's onto something. All this self-sacrifing thing is so romanticized. Can't we all be in healthy non co-dependent relationships? Love yourselves, kids. Which is why, while I said Satan is my ideal type of man, in real life, most of the people I've been with are Asmos. That being said, that's why he doesn't really work as an otome LI for me (at least for now). I'm here to live a fantasy of dating demons, not to see my exes. He is tempting tho. Who doesn't want a friend to do face masks and fuck from time to time, no strings attached until, "oh no, we both caught feelings, whatever shall we do" and then have it end well? (can you tell I'm projecting? my therapist is gonna love this). Poor Asmo, it's not his fault. Darling I'm sure you'll turn out to be lovely

On Beel, not much. I'm not into him, at least for now. his personality so far is that he's hungry. So what, man. I'm not here for that either. I don't find food particularly fun or sexy, it's just here to keep us alive (unless it's sweets, sweets are the best, but I'm having to cut down on sweets so), so he's not doing much for me. Gotta wait for that character development I guess

And to end this rant, Belphegor. Bitch, I've seen you on my demon cards, don't you dare tell Veronica you're human. But she's a dumb hoe, my girl Veronica, so she just doesn't question it???? I swear, this girl. Shady doesn't even cut it with him. Sorry, you're telling me what to do? Dude, lol, you're lucky this is Veronica and not me, because I'd be out of there as soon as you started this bull about me doing pacts with demons to get your ass out of that room. Don't prey on my empathy, it pisses me off. Spoilers tell me he's like a human-hater or something? Boy, fuck you, okay? Am I going to end up loving him? Who knows. For now he can rot in that room for all I care

Anyway, that's pretty much my first impressions of this game. I'll be playing it for some more time, until I get up to date on lessons and story or until colleges comes to drag me to literal hell, whatever comes first

Peace, my dudes

Sinday Meme for Characters Who Share a Brain

The original meme can be found here: x Characters: Wade Wilson (@theamazingcaptdeadpool), Frank Castle (@mementomorimthrfckr) and Ajax (@cantfeelsht) Warning: An abundance of words, massive TMI, cursing duh, threats double duh, Any complaints may be directed at our lawyer; @hellsainted

Frank scoffed as Wade had spent the last three minutes trying to figure out a title, brainstorming no pun intended with himself – and the result he landed on you already read. “That sounds terrible, Wade.” he grumbled and sipped his coffee. A sort of bribe to get him to partake in the thing. “You come up with a better one then, Skulls, and we’ll use that.” Wade fired back, thankful that Frank wasn’t known for his creativity. “What was wrong with the original title?” Ajax wanted to know and crossed his arms. He was leaning nonchalantly against the wall, watching the other two with what one could describe as ‘calm suspiciousness’. “It was too long.” Wade complained. “Not catchy. And we’re replying as ourselves. The original title suggested that the co-pilot do it for us. Or arms dealer. Or whatever the hell you call her.” he explained, because he could see Frank straining as he tried to work it out. Be nice Wade. I’m always nice.  “Why don’t we just get this over with.” Ajax’s stare moved from Frank to Wade. His former subject was the most keen on this, after all – surely he would kick it off.  “Best idea you’ve had, Francis.” Wade murmured as he counted the questions of the meme. “Alright, there are twenty questions. Let the sinning commence!” he clapped his hands and rubbed his palms eagerly. 

“Jesus,” Frank exclaimed and leaned over the table, snatching the laptop from the merc with a dirty imagination mouth. “I’ll read these.” He glowered at Wade who raised his hands in defeat. There was no point in challenging the Punisher this early in the game.   “What muse needs the most attention on sinday?” Frank read and for some reason found himself looking glumly up at Ajax who shook his head.  “Wade it is then.” It wasn’t that Frank wouldn’t mind the attention… he just wouldn’t actively seek it.   “Yeah, that’s a no brainer.” Wade murmured, he had somehow produced whiteboard signs and written “Me!” on one side and “Not me!” on the other. What? I came prepared. I always do. Yes, that is me being suggestive. He gave one to Ajax who reluctantly accepted.  “Just making it easier for us.” He explained, surprisingly caring.  “Whatever it takes to shut you up,” Ajax looked at both sides to make sure he hadn’t written anything funny on his. 

“Easy, Francis,” Wade began only to be interrupted by Frank who read the next question loudly. “Which muse usually stays silent on sinday?” Frank sniffed. He hadn’t partaken in any sindays, yet. “I’m not it.” Wade said quickly. “I love me some sinday. Actually every day is sinday in my book. Doesn’t always have to be sex. Severe procrastination. Excess eating. Pillows of blow…” “You ever hear of TMI?” Frank put the laptop down on the table with more force than he intended.

  Wade wiped one of the sides of his sign clear and wrote “NO!” only to hold it up for Frank to see. None of them had noticed how Ajax was holding up his own sign reading “Me!” and it took all his effort not to wack Wade in the back of the head with it. “Let’s move on.” Ajax shot in, before Wade could start one of his endless rambles. Frank glared at Wade like a teacher glare at the kid in class that won’t ever stay silent – that they’re afraid to take their eyes off because they know they’ll cause trouble. “Share some headcanons about your muses’ sexual and/or romantic orientation… You want to go first, Ajax?” Frank offered without looking at him. “Francis.” Wade corrected him. “Can’t feel. He can’t get it up – and can’t get it off.” Ajax closed his eyes, his jaw tense. “Wade is right.” he murmured. “I’m asexual. Except for specific muses. That has to be talked over in detail.” “Contracts has to be signed. Very Christian Grey. Wouldn’t play with him.” Wade turned towards the room and whispered to no one. Well, at least none that Frank and Ajax were aware of. They shared a moment of confusion, waiting for something to happen – someone to reply. As the silence bordered awkward Frank nodded and continued with the survey; “I’m bi with a preference towards women, but I’m not really looking for anything.” His voice was low. He wet his lips and averted his eyes, bouncing his foot impatiently. 

“I’m pan – the comics has me paired up with women and Spiderman. Over here, meaning Tumblr, I have a preference towards men.” Wade stated the obvious. Frank drew a breath to read the next question, but then Wade continued; “Men with metal arms. Men that are Avengers. Men that’s purple… Is that even a man?” “You done?” Frank wanted to know. They’d missed how Wade had fixed the other side of his sign – and was now holding up a “YES!”. “What are your favourite ship for your muses?” Frank was visibly confused by the question.   “For me it’s the Millenium Falcon,” Wade answered – hoping it would make it easier for the not so shockingly thick marine. “Oh, and I love my warship.” “I don’t ship.” Ajax shrugged. He saw no need to. “Cablepool, Winterpool, Cappool, Hawkpool – the one with Colossus, I forgot its name…” Wade counted on his fingers. “Thunderpool is kinda cute.” “You any idea what he’s on about?” Frank turned towards Ajax. “You don’t want to know, mate.” Ajax said with a sigh. “It’s a question about who you see yourself with.” “No one.” Frank answered shortly. He couldn’t be with anyone, because whoever got close to him ended up dead or worse. 

“Why so glum sugarplum?” Wade leaned forward. “What about Castlevania?” “Are you…” Frank was about to get fired up but by some miracle managed to compose himself. He cleared his throat and shifted. “Nevermind. The next question – “ Frank decided he best ignore the entire thing; he thought they were done with Castlevania. He was not to be ‘shipped’ as the kids called it – with Dracula. “Which muse is the kinkiest?” “Next!” Wade called – he was holding up his sign. “Me!” it read. And maybe that was the truth. Wade is into a lot of things, after all… “Which muse has the strangest kinks?” Frank read warily. Wade slammed his sign down on the table to grab everyone’s attention and held it up again. He pointed to it and looked between the other two; “Unless you want to list some kinks?” “Next.” Ajax nodded towards the screen. “You sure, Francis? I won’t kink shame. Maybe I could interest you in – “ “Next!” Ajax insisted. “Choose one muse and tell us how they lost their virginity.” Frank read. He thought perhaps they could draw straws or… “Rock papers scissors lizard Spock.” Wade said with remarkable speed and accuracy. 

“I lost mine to and older girl at one of the many orphanages I visited.” Ajax said flatly, wanting them to believe that it hadn’t really mattered.   “You’re so boring, Francis.” Wade pouted. “At least give us some details.” “It was quick, messy and left me wanting more.” Ajax squared his jaw. “Satisfied?” “Unlike you’ll ever be again; yes. Thank you. I’m touched, Francis.” Wade sniffed as if he was sincerely moved, whilst Frank hid a chuckle and shook his head, clearly relieved that he didn’t have to spill the beans.

“Each of us have to share a random sex fact… I…” Frank rubbed the back of his neck. “I like it when the woman is on top of me, so I can see her pleasure and have her in control.” he admitted. Wade gave an approving nod. “I prefer to be the sub – to give up the control, but more often than not I’m taking it because I get impatient – I think. What about you Francis? Any sexy secrets about your preferences? Oh that’s right…” “I get off on watching others emotions. Pleasure – pain? Doesn’t matter.” Ajax admitted – his tone threatening. Wade gasped loudly and murmured ‘Sadist’ under his breath. Frank blinked and tilted his head slightly to the side – as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Remind me again why we haven’t killed this guy?” Frank asked Wade. “You tell me. Hey, Francis, would you like to hurt me a little – how about that, huh?” “Yes, how about that?” Ajax pushed off the wall, his eyes like pits of hell. Dark, angry. A far too familiar smirk tugging at his lips. 

Frank’s arm shot out – stopping the villain from getting too close. “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Wade taunted him. “Yeah,” Ajax snarled – pressing against Frank’s hand. “If you could organise… Seriously who made up these questions? Are these,” Frank turned the laptop around, unable to mask how mortified he felt. “Are you behind these Wade? Because I swear to god…” “I can take the blame for a lot of things – but not that.” Wade pointed at the screen. “Finish the question. I’m curious now.” Frank sighed and tilted his head upwards, as if he was asking for patience. 

“Alright. Alright… Argh… God. If you could organise a threesome involving three of your muses, who would you choose? I guess this one isn’t for us. And… heaven forbid the three of us ever get put in a room together again. Because the next time? I won’t go easy.” Frank pushed Ajax so he fell back against the wall and stared threateningly at Wade. “Careful Frank, he might like it.” Wade taunted. Ajax pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He hated Wade for his ability to get to him.   “The next one is for her as well. What muse she’d like to write a ship for…” Frank shook his head again. “What the fuck’s up with all these damned boats? Anyway… I assume she’d like to try me out with Billy.” “Kinky.” Wade purred. “I’m already in quite a few ships. If we’re adding to… pfft.” Truth was, Wade was content with his situation, so it took some thinking. “A Nathan would be nice? And no ships for Francis. His ship sank the day he let Michael Jackson Dr. Killebrew fiddle with his body.” Wade clicked his tongue and winked at Ajax. 

“How can you possibly know – “ Ajax began – cut off by Frank as he read the next question. “What are some preferences when deciding whether or not to ship a muse?” Frank frowned at the screen. “Read the rules, play nice, write well – I don’t know.” Wade hummed in agreement.  “And don’t assume we’ll ship – I don’t know about the other two, but I’m picky.” “You? Picky?” Ajax scoffed and leered at him. “Do you get to be?” “Well – I can’t fuck all the people who’s bummed because you couldn’t get it up for them.” Wade fired back. 

Frank rubbed his face – considering shooting them both. Ajax wouldn’t feel it, but he could die. Wade would feel it and couldn’t die. What a trio they were… “Are you guys DONE bickering yet?” he sounded tiredly. “Never,” Wade answered as he breathed in. Ajax rolled his eyes. “I prefer missionary or the cowgirl or whatever it’s known as these days. I like the intimacy. The control or giving up of. I like to touch, to see…” Frank’s words grew with passion as he spoke. Wade blinked and looked at him. “What are you on about?” “The next question. I figured I might finish this on my own and get the hell out.” Frank was done with the bullshit.   “What was the question?” Wade put his hands on the table and leaned forward. “Headcanons, sex positions.” Frank scratched his cheek, and glanced up at Ajax. “You outta this one, too?”

“Against a wall… Or relentless teasing,” Ajax didn’t even get to finish before Wade corrected him; “Endless foreplay,” “To draw as much sound from the other part as possible.” Ajax blinked and turned slowly towards Wade. “What about you then, collared and on your knees begging for it?” 

“Actually that’s not that far from the truth. But I like a lot of things. Depends on my partner and whether I’m giving up control or not.” Wade shrugged. “How much time – “ Frank already began reading the next question. “ – none, then.” Wade sighed. “Has she written smut for you guys? Because that’s a no for me.” Frank didn’t take his eyes off the screen – this he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Ajax arched an eyebrow and cocked his head, Wade nodded vigorously. “I suppose neither of you know whether she prefers to write it or not?” Frank huffed and leaned back into his chair. “How are we supposed to answer these questions when they’re not even… yes… Wade?” Much to his surprise Wade has raised his hand. 

“Thank you. I happen to know that she don’t mind writing smut, but she has to feel comfortable with the person she’s writing it with.” “Multiship or singleship?” Frank turned to Ajax. He couldn’t stand the guy, but at least he’d had the decency to explain some of these things to him. “Is no ship an option?” Ajax smirked. It should be pretty clear at this point that he didn’t ship. “It is now. I’m on the fence. I wouldn’t ship with someone exclusively I think.” Frank grimaced at himself, as he was now using Tumblr and games own terms.   “Good call, Frank! For me it’s multiship all the way.” Wade drew a horizontal line in the air before him. “I’m not exclusive either.” “Huh, I think we just answered the next question. So… What is our shipping preferences? Weren’t we over that? Chemistry?” Frank thought that slow-burn sounded nice, but neither of the other guys seemed like the “slow burn” type. He didn’t know how wrong he was in his assumptions. “Yeah. What would you call my ship with Thanos? Because… that’s like… unhealthy. Toxic ships? I guess we’re semi into that? Aren’t we Francis?” Wade winked at him. Damn was he having a field day. Ajax on his end just shook his head and slammed his shoulders back against the wall. “What’s an OC?” Frank glanced up from the screen, relieved that they were close to done.  “Original character. We don’t really do those.” Wade knew that was frowned upon in the roleplaying community, but he didn’t give a shit. “I don’t know about you, but I have more than enough with the canon characters.” On most days, he actually had more than enough with himself. Ajax and Frank both seemed on board with that. 

“So,” Frank turned the laptop off and pulled the screen down. “That’s it. We’re done. Let’s never do it again.” his knees cracked as he stood up. 

“Or the next time we can get naked and –“ Wade began,  Frank pulled his gun and aimed it straight at his crotch. 

“You don’t want to finish that sentence.” his voice was low, barely audible.  “You don’t want to shoot me, Francis might get off on it.” Wade kindly reminded him.  “Oh my fucking…” Frank rubbed his face and headed out of the room. There wasn’t enough booze in the world to make him forget. 

“Hey – are you off to kill someone? Do you have a team yet – hey Frank, wait up!” Wade picked up his swords and chased after the Punisher. Ajax sighed and pushed his shoulders down. Being around Wade always made him tense up. He rolled his head from side to side, then left through the back door – half expecting the two of them to be waiting to kill him.

If you made it this far, please let me know what you think. No, Frank didn’t kill Ajax. Yet. 

boyfriend! mu ziyang

- mu ziyang (oner)

warnings: smutty stuffs, some swearing + a little comment about body image nothing super specific!

genre: bulleted, fluff/smut/angst(?)

word count: 911 (who to call bc he’s so cute)

okay ziyang!! i ♡ this man

so ziyang really strikes me as being a funny boyfriend

i feel like while he’s a little flirtatious in the form of compliments, its mostly in a joking way and he’s actually kind of awkward when it comes to being romantic

so having ziyang as your boyfriend would basically be like having ziyang as your best friend

loves making you laugh!!

he’s the master of saying funny things with a straight face and putting you in stitches, and he gets very pleased with himself when you laugh at his jokes

but aside from being a crackhead, i think he’s really manly

he’s pretty quiet, in like a brooding/macho kind of way to me.

so he likes having the upper hand in the relationship

he’s not protective in a dramatic way, more like in the THIS MAN SEES EVERYTHING kind of way

he always has his eyes on you when you’re near him, always. he’s extremely observant when it comes to you

which sounds creepy but hear me out lol

because he’s not very clingy or overall very affectionate at all, he shows his love in the simple ways

he will always notice something is wrong before you tell him.

for example, one time you guys were at a party and you separated to talk to your individual friends.

it's not that he keeps such a close eye on you because he doesn’t trust you or he doesn’t trust other men, it’s mostly out of habit. he loves you and wants to make sure you’re okay when he isn’t by your side.

so you were talking to your female friend and just as he glances over at you whilst he’s talking to someone else, he catches your face fall at whatever your friend said to you that hurt your feelings

(which ended up being that the dress you were wearing made you look fat - which it totally didn’t, what a bitch!)

so he watches you a moment longer, seeming uncomfortable and sad before he excused himself from his conversation and made his way over to you.

your friend clocked him coming and shot him a smile he didn’t return before excusing herself.

he doesn’t ask whats wrong, doesn’t say anything about your obvious downturn in mood, the first thing he does is whisper a sly comment about your friend's hair that immediately wipes the frown off your face and makes you laugh.

happy to see you smiling, he continues making jokes until you completely forgot about what your friend said.

he would wait for you to tell him what happened on your own - and you usually did. despite appearing very unemotional, he was always supportive and easy to talk too.

he would do things like that all the time

however, sometimes this would lead you two to fight.

which is fine, every couple fights.

but sometimes ziyang really lacks initiative

like i said, this is an awkward dude. mature, manly, whatever, he’s still awkward as hell

so when he comes home to you crying and immediately tries to joke about it, he’s a little confused when you get super pissed

the baby is trying his best tho come on

i see him as the type to immediately get kinda distant once you get mad at him though, kinda sulky

and his distance would make you even more mad, but i see him as being kinda snappy so he gets distant so he won’t say anything he doesn’t mean to you

so if you push him.. he might say something he doesn’t mean, yknow?

but afterwards he will talk about it and he’ll probably get pretty mad at himself.

fighting is rare though! sometimes this poor baby just can’t take a hint

and now for the filthy stuff

so ziyang is a big boy…. if u know what im saying

and he uses that to his every advantage

i can see him being a little kinky but nothing too crazy.. i feel like light bondage would be where its at for him

but sex with him would be really comfortable.. i think because he strikes me as being so casually funny that would carry over to the bedroom and sex would be more fun than serious

so like it’d take him a while to stop giggling before he could tie your wrists together

and he’d also be a massive fucking tease

he’d probably love making you beg for him tbh

i can see him also kind of trying to embarrass you?? or like make you flustered by his words if that makes sense?

he’s a physical tease just as much as a verbal one this man is RELENTLESS

you really do have to beg just to get him DO SOMETHING

but he keeps a relatively slow pace, he wants it to be enjoyable for both you and him

aftercare is probably just like.. untying you and wiping you off if necessary and then passing out for a few hours

overall he’s a really big awkward baby who loves making you laugh

he’d be such a good boyfriend wow im emotional

stan mu ziyang everyone!!

Part 1. Thoughts on the maximum ride movie so far

Spoilers for the maximum ride movie. Swearing. Ranting. You have been warned Im not even 15 minutes in, I am already disappointed. The actors are grossly in accurate to the books, nudge is way out of character, Angel is supposed to be sweet not a creepy kid yet. For fucks sake... Okay character design here. Fang Book: thin build incredibly long black hair basically the very easily considered the second-in-command max actually listens to him. Movie: built like a freaking quarterback has short cropped hair and even though he voices his opinion he's also being a complete push over. Give me back my brooding 14 year old emo boy not some f****** 20 something looking looking f****** quarterback. Iggy: Book: straw berry blonde (lighter spectrum) pale, also skinny. Firm on his ideals but still follows max. Movie: another f***** quarterback he has dark brown hair. Jesus. Gazzy: Book: blonde hair blue eyes a sweetheart and a bit hyper but very happy. Movie: dark brown hair and eyes, obsessed with protection from erasers. Not a a happy kid. Nudge: Book: person of color, huge amounts of kinky beautiful hair. speaks alot, isn't stupid or rude as hell. Movie: at least they got her skin tone right, but low and f***** Behold a person can't have their natural f****** hair Ono the world's going to end. Is flat-out being stupid super rude to Max and called angel a freak. Greaaaat Angel: Book: blonde blue eyes. Also a total sweetheart, everyone is used to her mind reading. Act fairly normal and is a happy outspoken little girl. Movie: holy s*** they managed to get the actual f****** look right are you serious?!!! Oh wait she's acting like a creepy reserved child from The Omen nevermind they still f***** her up and I had hope to... Max Book: brown long hair, braided usually. Has the usual build of a 14 year old. Plus wings. Bad ass, caring leader who takes great care of the kids and even if she's a touch paranoid she has reason to be. Movie: top 10 not even shoulder length bleach blonde ffucking didn't even do the girl's eyebrows looks like some seventeen-year-old fucking bombshell from an old movie or some shit. she flat-out threatens nudge instead of saying that it's not appropriate or that it's not safe to run off and go fucking shopping just and righteous bitch and not the leader that we are immediately introduced to in the books. Other shit that bugs me rn Apparently the fuckin school is a got dang Petco or some crap according to its security protocols. Apparently Max and the kids haven't even left the freaking house since Jeb left instead of a you know being on their own little mountain. Oh oh and the closest store to close by to go fucking shopping that no just planning on running off to is only 5 miles away bullshit Lord help me im gonna watch more of it....

It seems I have been tagged by my partner in crime @princebete to write a shitty explanation of my character so AWAAAY WE GO

Hello, my name is Belle which means “beauty” and damn did my parents have good foresight because I’m a banging piece of ass. Or well when I say parents I mean my dad since my mom was brutally murdered by the company that made this movie for the sole reason that she is my mom and I’m not allowed to have a mom except to have her memories make my dad angsty and shit because if there’s one thing that really needed explanation it was the reason that I’m living in a village? Not really a question I had as I’m more interested in wondering why I can’t have a mom but what are you gonna do?

Anyways this village is pretty much the French equivalent of Hicksville, probably including the incest for all I know. Like we’re talking ultra conservative “women who wear their hair down are going to the Devil” type people. So obvs they don’t like the fact that I’m literate even tho let’s be real they’re probably also jelly of my mad skills at simultaneous reading and walking without bumping into shit. I got that fucking mastered and I’d like to see you try it and look as fly as I do. And I really just wanna get the fuck outta here but because I have a dad who’s dangerously close to blowing up himself and our house at any given moment I don’t have a lot of choice. Also we’re poor and if you’re poor you’re kinda fucked if you’re not spending every waking moment working your ass off.

It doesn’t help that there’s this fuckboi named Gaston who doesn’t know the meaning of “you ain’t getting NONE of this.” Damn jerk always throwing my books in the mud, do you know how expensive books are in this time period? Ass. And then he talks some shit about how women shouldn’t be reading and thinking and I’m like... ew. Like Gaston’s pretty hot but if his looks are a 9 out of 10 his personality is a 0. And I’m a pretty modern girl for my time, right? Like I’m all about women’s rights so it REALLY fucking sucks to be stuck in a time period where all they want you to do is get married and pop out babies until you die of the plague.

So I’m pretty damn happy that Dad’s finally got his amazing if probably lethal judging from how it can either chop you into pieces or give you a concussion invention and he goes off to a convenient fair so that we can get rich and get the fuck out of this place leaving me by myself which, really? You couldn’t take me with just this once? I know we got a farm to take care of and all but you remember fuckboi Gaston? BARGES THE FUCK INTO MY HOUSE AND PROPOSES TO ME, AFTER GETTING MUD ON ANOTHER ONE OF MY BOOKS. Did I mention he already had the wedding set up because he didn’t think there was any way I would say no? What a douche. NOT TO MENTION THAT I DON’T KNOW HOW HE HASN’T PICKED UP ON THE FACT THAT GETTING MUD ON MY BOOKS DOES NOT TURN ME ON.

After very literally dumping fuckboi in the dirt Philippe just HAS to interrupt my wistful longings for a better life to let me know that Dad somehow managed to fuck up a simple trip to the fair meaning that I have go and find him.

Naturally, my Dad just HAD to turn out to be in a spooky haunted castle straight out every gothic novel ever ruled by a giant ass talking and rly extra dramatic buffalo-lion thing that’s fugly as hell. I don’t know at the time whether he’s actually a giant animal or just a furry but both options are not ideal. I end up promising fugly buffalo-lion guy that I’ll stay in exchange for dad’s freedom and he agrees only for the asshat to drag my dad out without even letting me get to say goodbye smh. But I barely have time to think about that before it turns out that to make the castle even creepier, a shitton of the furniture is alive and walking and talking and it’s horrifying in a “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream” kind of way. It’s really messed up when you try to think about what that must be like. But that said, dancing plates makesfor great dinner theatre, Toby’s should hire these guys.

Once I’m done with dinner I sneak out into the West Wing. Yeah, buffalo-lion guy said not to but I DO WHAT I WANT OK. And I mean yeesh if he’d wanted me to stay out of his room, maybe he should have told me that it was his room instead of forbidding it. Guy was asking for someone to come a-knocking. But damn, his room is more trashed than the aftermath of the worst frat boy party you’ve ever seen but hey, at least there’s a portrait of some random but hella fine dude but oh wait, there’s a pretty glowing floating rose that’s pretty obviously magic so I do what any reasonable person would do and try to touch said shiny floaty flower.

Of course I nearly shit myself when buffalo guy just comes in out of nowhere and starts screaming at me for invading his man cave (beast cave?) and tells me to gtfo I’m like “I can do that. I’m noping out, that’s it. im out bitches” Except maybe it wasn’t a brilliant idea to ride a horse out into a blizzard and thick woods filled with starving wolves. Thankfully buffalo guy saves me before dramatically collapsing and making me having to drag his ass back to his castle. Do you have any idea how much that guy weighs? It’s a good thing I work out cause I was this close to giving up. Its around then that I start to realize Buffalo guys (who’s name I never catch for whatever reason) might look scary but he’s actually just a large hairy man child and once he gets his shit together he’s not that bad a guy I guess.

Course it doesn’t hurt that he gave me a whole library. definitely turns me on more than dropping my book into mud. Not that buffalo guy turns me on but like he’s nice, you know, actually kind of sweet but im not thinking about him that way ya nasties. except ok maybe a little cause like we had this dance and everything and it got really sensual and idk what would’ve happened if I hadn’t cockblocked us by wondering about dad. Which, turns out buffalo guy (how do I still not know his name?) has a magic mirror that shows you shit (and I really hope he hasn’t been using it to look at me at certain times in the evening cause usually around then im either singing off key in the shower or masturbating over weird kinky beast sex).

dad’s in trouble fucking AGAIN cause the poor guy can’t go ten minutes without me around to bail out his ass and Buffalo guy lets me know and its really nice but I friendzone him for the moment and out to find dad and take him to the village instead of the castle where we might find better medical care and comfortable conditions for him. not one of my greatest ideas I admit. Things still would’ve been if only GASTON MCFUCKBOI hadn’t come to fuck everything up by trying to extort me into marrying him by throwing my dad into the insane asylum, which yes, he’s a little insane but like I’m into bestiality so... I can’t judge him. I try to wipe the smile off fuckboi’s face by proving buffalo guy exists only... now fuckboi wants to kill buffalo guy so I kinda fucked up . 

I eventually get back to the castle just in time to save buffalo guy only not really because GUESS WHO FUCKS ITS UP FOR EVERYONE? if you guessed fuckboi you’d be right cause he just goes full Shakespeare and stabs buffalo guy right before falling to his death, which sucks maybe but I’m more sad about buffalo guy (SERIOUSLY WHAT’S HIS NAME) dying before I could tell him that I was up for kinky beast sex but instead of that I just tell him I love him.

Then I swear it was like I had an acid trip or something because Buffalo guy suddenly starts floating and glowing and going through a magical girl transformation into the hella fine dude from that portrait in his room and- ooooooh I get it he was cursed it was super obvious, you’d think a smart girl like me would’ve caught on to something like that but I guess not. 

But the good news is that buffalo guy is human so I don’t have to worry about being into bestiality and we kiss and there are actual literal fireworks which is awesome and there’s something about a spell or whatever idk but i’m more concerned with asking WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR REAL NAME SO I CAN SCREAM IT IN BED.

But yeah we live happily ever after and all that jazz cause I’m a princess now and don’t have to do my own shit anymore. Moral of the story is find a hairy sugar daddy cause he’ll turn out to be secretly hot and not mind your weird kinks.

TAGGING: all the shitty muses

Pills

Pills Joker x reader Request: @chrisxsebastian Can you do joker x reader one where reader is an ordinary girl somehow ended up being kidnapped by joker. He tortured her until she tried to commit suicide one day. Joker found her unconscious in the bathroom and he started to realize he has feelings for her (she has feelings for him to) and realized what he had done so he cure her until she woke up and he apologize or something? Sorry if it's a bit long😂 love your writings💚 (The titles is cliché.. don't judge me 😂) (I feel like I fucked this up... so if I did I'm really sorry, I honestly had a fucking writers block the whole time I wrote this 😬 because I didn't know how to start and finish it😕) WARNINGS: Attempted suicide, ALOT of swearing, abuse and ya know a whole lot of sarcasm. ——————————————————— -Y/N POV- Walking the streets of Gotham at 2:30 at night is probably the dumbest thing to fucking do, especially since Harley Quinn has been caught by Batman again.. let's just say Joker has been losing his shit even more and the people of Gotham is being fucked over because of it. I should probably start with my name and how I got in this mess, the name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and I'm 28 years old (Joker is 30) and I'm a writer. Hences of how the Joker found out about me because I wrote an article about him, probably the first fucking dumbest thing I've ever done. Oh and to top it all off The Joker sent a wonderful letter to my apartment! Hences why I'm walking around Gotham at 2:45 A.M. Before all this shit went down my life has been fairly simple, parents died at the age of 10, lived with my aunt and uncle, worked my ass off to get a full ride for college, and moved to Gotham to pursue my dreams to become a writer.. probably should have went to New York instead, but that's not important right now.. because I fucking hear Joker beautiful laugh and the wonderful sound of his screeching tires.... ——————————————————— Joker:"Oh come on Y/N!" J pouts "Stop running, all I want to do is show you my toys!" Y/N:"How about you go shove your cane up your ass, you kinky bastard!" Y/N screams while running for dear life.. literally dear life.. J growls and pulls out a gun shooting her left leg, laughing when she falls to the ground. 'Did this motherfucking green hair bipolar ass gangster/clown JUST FUCKING SHOOT ME! Well shit, looks like I'm going to die soon.. WHERE THE HELL IS BATMAN WHEN YOU NEED THE JACKASS?' J opens his car door and walks over to Y/N:"Ohhhh Y/N, why were you running away from Mister J?" J pouts " Now I gotta punish ya darlin"Joker growls and grabs Y/N by the hair and drags her to the car, throwing her in the back seat and speeding to his abandoned mansion ——————————————————— -DURING THE CAR RIDE Y/N HAS CURSED JOKER OUT AND BIT HIM WHILE HE WAS TAKING OUT OF THE CAR.. YA KNOW THE USUAL..- -Y/N POV- Joker threw.. yes threw me in a fucking room and locked it.. why? I have no fucking idea, the mofo just could have killed me when he had the chance, life is just perfect at the moment. The room is just a normal size bedroom with a bathroom and a bed, not even a fucking lap.. just a bed. Pretty fucking borin-WAIT! Shit shit shit! Never mind not fucking boring, there is a motherfucking camera! Who the fuck puts a camera in a bedroo- scratch that I've been kidnapped, if I were a kidnapper I'd probably put a camera inside a room I'm keeping someone too.. I walk up to the camera and flip it off, and ya know.. say a couple of curse words, maybe even say rude things to the Joker like 'Ya bitch ass motherfucking bipolar green haired manwhore gangster let me go fucking home!' Then I topped it off with 'fucking douchebag' I mean I probably just caused my own death sentence, but it was why the fuck not. -Joker POV- "Set the room up Frosty.." ——————————————————— -Y/N POV- I don't know how long it's been since that day during the whole camera incident, but life has been a living hell. Joker has been torturing me, anything between stabbing, slicing, electric shock (He doesn't shock he head, so she isn't crazy) and making me a personal punching bag. I'm at the point where I can't take it anymore, I know how this will all end, in the end it will still be me dying so why not just steed up the process? After every torture Joker puts a pain pill in my mouth but I never swallowed them, so right about now I have about ten pills. After I swallow all ten pills I feel a little dizzy and sit on the floor with my back up against the sink, and close my eyes. ———————————————————– -3rd Person- Frost:"Boss! Y/N hasn't left the bathroom for about three hours.. do you want me too send a henchmen down?" Joker:"Nah Frosty, I'll go check on Dollface and do her daily exercise. Go get the room ready." Joker walks down to the basement and goes into 'Y/N's room' Joker:"Ohhhh Y/N! Come out come out to play Kitten! Daddy wants to play!" J taunts Joker walks into the bathroom to see Y/N on the floor and a few pills she didn't take on the sink.. the first thing J does is check Y/N's pulse and it was barley there. J pulls out his phone and calls his doctor and tells him to be here in five minutes or he is going to hurt him in ways he never imagined, J picked up Y/N and brought her up to his room and placed her on the bed while yelling at Frost. ——————————————————— -3rd Person- Joker barley felt YN's side unless it was for business or a little bit of havoc to keep his image up, other than that he was right by her bedside waiting too hear her smart mouth talk. The doctor told Joker that she was lucky that she didn't die, she consumed 8-10 pills that were taken, meaning if she did consume the other two her heart and all of her organs would have went into overdrive and failed (I'm not a doctor so this is probably false, but let's just imagine that I know what I'm talking about 😂) So in result she is going to be in a coma until her body feels like it's healed properly, J didn't like this news so he shot the doctor. While he sat by Y/N he thought of how much he regretted doing all those things to Y/N, then he get pissed because he isn't supposed to care, then he thought of how much he liked Y/N more than Harley, and how much better Y/N was then Harley. Sure, Harley was fun but Y/N had the balls to talk back to Joker without a single fuck in the world. J hated these feelings. —————–—————————————— -Joker POV- "Come on Kitten, wake up for Daddy. He's very sorry for what he did for you doll. Come on wake up!" "Frost, it's been almost eight fucking months! Why the fuck hasn't she waken up yet?" J screamed Before Frost could answer they hear: "Calm your roll old man, your complaints are giving me a headache." J turns around so fast that he makes himself dizzy, but he sees those green eyes. "Leave Frosty." "Now Kitten, I don't every say this so don't push your luck with it.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt ya like that." Y/N waves for Joker to come closer to hear so he obliges. She slaps him upside the head and says: "Apologize accepted douchebag." J growls and kisses her hard AND BAM A RELATIONSHIP WAS MADE PEOPLE! THEY BECAME KING AND QUEEN OF GOTHAM BECAUSE EVERYONE THOUGHT Y/N WAS DEATH BLAH BLAH BLAH! ——————————————————— IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE! AND IM SORRY IF YOU GUYS THINK IT SUCKS BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THE ENDING WAS TERRIBLE...