#i still wish someone would just bully me into finishing any of my bigger projects xD
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just a little guy
#one piece#monkey d. luffy#i have started a frank x jake one page comic#the sketches for all panels are done#and the outlines of the first panel are also done#but i keep second guessing myself when ever i wanna work on the next panel#like i wonder if the framing could be better#or if i can keep the style consistent :c#i should just get it done tbh#i have like 8 more bigger drawings that are stuck in various states of not done#i did continue drawing on one of them today tho#i am still drawng every day#<3#i am so happy i have this outlet now#i still wish someone would just bully me into finishing any of my bigger projects xD#amehlee art
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Strong - Mariam x fem reader
summary: (f/n) brushes all attempts of Mariam and Dina to befriend her off. But there's a bigger reason behind her cold, apathetic behavior.
warnings: (past) bullying
word count: 1.229
Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.
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„Hey, (f/n). Do you want to join our group?“, Dina offered as she was sitting in front of me.
Miss Abeer had just announced our next group project and I dreaded it already.
My gaze wandered through the classroom. Everyone else had decided for a group. So I did not really have any choice but to join Dina and Mariam. Why them out of all people?
“I guess it can't be helped”, I agreed with a sigh.
“You know you could at least pretend to be happy about working with us”, Mariam considered while placing her chair next to my table.
I scoffed and concentrated on the task instead, ignoring the irritated looks of the two girls.
“How about each one of us works on two pages and then we explain it to each other”, Dina suggested.
“I take the first two pages”, I mumbled.
“Okay”, Dina agreed happily. How could anyone be in such a great mood all the time?
After explaining everything to each other we started to work on the poster.
I pushed it toward Mariam.
“I want to write”, Dina declared.
“No way in hell”, I shot back.
“Why not?”, she protested.
“Because you'll decorate it with drawings and use pink and glitter or whatever”, I claimed. “Mariam. It's your turn”, I decided.
“What if I don't want to”, said person alluded.
“Stop that shit”, I growled.
Mariam sighed and fulfilled the task anyway.
Unfortunately we did not manage to finish the poster during the lesson. So we would have to work on it in our leisure time. Group projects were definitely the worst. Now we were supposed to meet up without really having a choice.
“Do you have time today? We can meet up at my place”, Mariam assumed.
“You can finish it without me. My information is already on the poster anyway”, I pointed out.
“But it's a group project. It's not fair if we have to work more on it than you”, she considered.
“So what? Are you gonna sell me out if I don't show up at your house? I'm not exactly rejoiced to work with you and I bet you aren't either by now. So if you don't mind just fuck off”, I proclaimed.
“Whatever. Then do what you want. You're right. We won't sell you out”, Mariam concluded, her voice sharp and dripping with disgust.
After the group project Mariam and Dina did not try to approach me again. I did not know whether I should feel relieved or sad. But what I did know was that it was my fault for pushing them away. Had it been the right decision?
I observed them getting bullied by Layan and co. without interfering.
How could Mariam still stand up for herself? She was incredibly strong. Mariam and Dina were apparently able to be happy despite other people's opinions and actions. I wished I could do the same, but it was not that easy.
Breaks at the corner of school grounds, unanswered questions in class, alone all the time. I could not risk to draw any attention to me. Whenever someone approached me I scared them away.
When I saw that Mariam had been severely injured I was shocked.
Of course she had always been bullied by Layan and her friends, but it had usually been emotional and not physical bullying.
And when Layan lied at the assembly to settle the truth of what had happened to Mariam I could not retreat anymore. Layan had gone too far and I could not just take that silently.
“Miss Faten. Layan is lying”, I proclaimed drawing all the attention toward me.
The look of my mom was torn between anxious and proud. I could not blame her. I did not want to be in my position either, but I could not let Layan manipulate everybody and lead the amazingly strong Mariam into misery.
“Mariam never touched Layan. Actually Layan's the one tormenting Mariam and manipulating and scaring the other students all the time. Mariam is the victim. Don't let Layan fool you”, I declared.
My appearance did not falter. I was wearing a poker face and on the outside no one could tell how much Layan's stares actually scared me, or the oppressing silence that had captured the room.
The discussion about the truth continued for a short while and in the end Miss Faten decided to give both girls an equal amount of suspension. Obviously Layan's dad was even more powerful than I had thought. Great …
“Hey (f/n)! Wait!” Mariam's voice made me stop in my track as my mom and I had been on the way to our car.
Our moms were considerate enough to give us some privacy.
“What?” My voice was apathetic.
It was either all or no emotions. I definitely preferred the latter.
“Thanks for standing up for me. Honestly I didn't expect that”, she stated with a smile.
“I just told the truth. It's no big deal”, I brushed it off.
“Yes, it is. Obviously I judged you too quickly. Maybe you wanna hang out once after all?”, she suggested.
When our eyes met my mask fell. I could not keep up my act anymore and the tears started flowing.
“Oh sorry! Did I say something wrong?”, Mariam worried.
I immediately wiped the tears away with my sleeve and shook my head. “Just forget it”, I mumbled.
“Sorry, but what's up with you? That you supported me is a big deal. Then you start crying and now you pretend to be the mean one again?!”
“It's nothing personal, Mariam”, I attempted to reassure her, but my plan backfired.
“What is it then if it's not personal?”, she questioned.
“I just know how it feels, okay?” I averted my eyes.
“What do you mean?”, she continued her little interrogation.
A sigh of frustration left my lips. “I've been bullied myself. That's why I switched schools and why I tried to stay alone and don't arise any unwanted attention”, I explained. “I especially can't stand you. Seeing you defending yourself against Layan reminds me how weak I actually am”, I ranted.
“I don't think that you're weak”, Mariam proposed. “Layan's going to target you now. You know that, don't you?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Whatever.”
“But you could have two amazing allies if you want to”, Mariam offered grinning slightly.
Doubts started filling me. Would this really work out? I did want to spend time with Mariam. She truly was stunning in many ways, but was it alright to grand myself that?
“I don't know what happened at your old school. But at least you wouldn't have to fight on your own anymore”, Mariam suggested.
“Fine then”, I agreed reluctantly.
She took a piece of paper and a pen out of her backpack, wrote something onto it and handed it over. “Just call or text me”, she assumed.
She sent another smile my way while approaching her mom who was talking to mine. “And thanks again”, she called out before leaving together with her mom.
I could not help the smile that was adorning my face. Maybe school was not that bad after all.
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An Akuma shows up at school for a specific target in Mind: Bustier. Revealing the Akuma was an former student and wants retribution for her ‘teachings’ of being a ‘good example’ made a negative impact on their mental and emotional health. Mainly Bustier facing the consequences of her actions, and revealed a lot more have suffered. No class bashing, or salt. Except doing to Lila and Bustier
I like this prompt so much and I couldn’t wait to finish it! Hope it was close to what you imagined!
Karma
Marinette paced the hallway outside the door of her classroom waiting for Mme. Bustier to meet her there for what she could guess would be yet another lecture on being the bigger person. It was so frustrating.
The sound of the door opening caught her attention as her teacher finally arrived, a small frown gracing her face.
“Now Marinette, I don’t understand what is going on between you and Lila, but you need to be the bigger person here like you always are. You know she has a disease and your outburst in class was unacceptable.”
“But Mme. Bustier! She was spreading lies about my friend! Adrien isn’t here to rebuttal for himself but I know he wouldn’t appreciate her lying about their relationship.”
Marinette crossed her arms in deviance only earning a dissatisfied headshake from her favorite teacher. Her heart sank a little at the idea that Bustier really meant for her to apologize to Lila yet again.
She didn’t even bother waiting for her response as she slunk back towards the door, already giving in before the argument could even begin. Her hand reached toward the handle only pausing when she heard a soft gasp from behind.
Marinette turned just in time to see a woman enveloped in the purple smoke that could only point to one thing. An akumanization.
“Mme. Bustier, let’s go.”
Marinette used all of her strength to pull her teacher out of her daze as they made a beeline down the stairs, away from the emerging victim. Without thinking, Marinette brought her phone to her ear, the number already dialing before her foot hit the ground level.
“Hey girl, what happened with Bustier? Are-”
“No time Alya, akuma outside the classroom, ring the alarm and lock the door, Bustier and I are going to be fine but help everyone else.”
She didn’t wait for a response as she slipped her phone back into her pocket. They were mere steps away from the lockers when a figure dropped in front of Marinette causing her to skid to a stop.
“Caline Bustier, I see you are still the same. Coddling the bully’s feelings and dropping all responsibility for their actions on innocent students.”
Bustier tried to shake her head, deny the accusation but she couldn't find her voice. The woman cocked her head at Marinette as if trying to decide if she was worth the trouble to get to the teacher. Deciding she wasn’t, she lowered what looked like a ribbon extending from her sleeve.
“Little girl, please go, be free. I will take care of Bustier, make sure she never hurts you again.”
Marinette shook her in disbelief as she stared at the woman with curiosity.
“She’s never laid a hand on me, I think you have the wrong person.”
Hearing Marinette’s voice snapped Bustier out of her trance as she attempted to push Marinette behind her and out of danger. The akuma’s face softened as she reached out to gingerly cup Marinette’s cheek.
“I too used to think she was an angel too. Someone sent down to protect me from everything bad in this world, but she’s not. She manipulates you into thinking it’s your fault that the Lila’s of this world exists.”
“That’s not true, Stephanie, please. Leave Marinette out of this. You had so much potential, I didn’t want to see you waste it by stooping down to their level-”
“Hush witch, it’s Professor Karma now.” Her voice was cold sending a shiver down Marinette’s back as she turned her attention back to the girl. “It makes you disappointed in not only her but yourself too. You begin to think you’re to blame for everyone incapable of change. Being the bigger person takes a mental toll, let me help ease that for you.”
Marinette hadn’t noticed the relief that had seeped through her body originating from the woman’s touch. It was so soothing, she just wanted to give in and let her take all the weight from her shoulders.
“Stay away from her!”
Marinette’s eyes flew back open as Chat Noir landed a blow onto the akuma in front of her.
“You ruined the process! You dumb hero! I could’ve taken all her pain away for her, but you just had to step in didn’t you.”
Chat Noir took a defensive stance between the akuma and Marinette.
“That’s not what it looked like to me. You were lulling her to sleep, her body was turning blue!”
Marinette looked down at her hands as the blue faded back to her normal pale color. Gods, what had she almost done? The fight needs Ladybug and she was about to give in to the akuma for what? A little bit of relief?
She sidestepped as the akuma slung its ribbons trying to bring Chat Noir down. Marinette wasn’t sure how much longer he could last by himself, but she couldn't leave Bustier by herself. She reached forward gripping Bustier's hand, startling the woman.
“C’mon Mme Bustier, we need to get you out of here.”
The teacher still seemed in a daze, a longing look in her eyes directed toward the akuma.
“Go Marinette, hide, please. I need to be here for Stephanie.”
Marinette wanted to protest, but this was her chance. She had a better chance of helping her as Ladybug than as Marinette. Without looking backward, she made a run for the exit, trying to ignore Chat’s taunting as he continued playing his dangerous game of cat and mouse.
“Tikki, was the akuma right? Am I really taking a toll from just Mme. Bustier’s words?”
“Marinette, you’ve always done so much for your class and for that woman. Eventually, it was going to catch up with you, especially when everyone expects nothing less than perfect. Nobody’s perfect, not even us Gods.”
Marinette called on her transformation, Tikki’s words ringing in her head. She knew Mme. Bustier only meant well, she wanted to push Marinette to be her very best on all levels including her personal life, but Tikki was right, she expected perfect Marinette everyday and she was never allowed to slip up even for a moment.
It was exhausting.
Marinette charged into the scene just in time to catch a limp Chat Noir, his skin completely blue. Her eyes widened as she nudged his cheek, trying to elicit any sort of reaction from him.
“What did you do to him?!”
The akuma’s smile was almost ghastly, nothing like the sweet and caring woman that had held Marinette only minutes earlier.
“I took all his pain from him. Now he will be in a peaceful sleep. You should be grateful, after all, he’ll never be hurt again.”
Marinette felt a heat rushing to her face as she tried to level her emotions. Gently laying him to the ground, Marinette placed a small kiss on her forehead, almost recoiling from how icy he felt.
“Now, it is your turn Caline.”
Before Marinette could move, the akuma's hand had already reached Bustier’s face
“Sleep is too peaceful for you. No, you Caline Bustier will turn on your own methods and finally punish those who deserve it.”
Marinette swung her yo-yo and the woman, trying to pull her teacher away, but it was useless. She watched as Bustier turned a warm shade of orange, her pupils enlarging until all that was left of her eye was a small patch of white in the corner.
“Gods, no.” Marinette raised her hand to her mouth in horror at her former teacher.
With a renewed fury, Marinette swung forward dodging the ribbons that seemed to move on their own.
“C’mon hero, shouldn’t you be for this idea! This woman breaks down the strong and raises the bullies on thrones, she deserves every minute of her punishment.”
Marinette cried out as her yo-yo finally made contact with a small locket sitting on the akuma’s chest. A small purple butterfly quickly flitted out but her yo-yo was quicker snatching it mid-air. As she released the butterfly, she ran back to where her partner laid, the color fading from his skin as he returned to a healthier shade.
Once she was sure he was going to be fine, Marinette walked over to the victim.
“Stephanie? Are you okay?”
She crouched to where the woman was sitting, her locket opened in her hand. Risking a peek, Marinette’s heart melted at the small phrase that it held inside.
“If we wish to change the world, we must all learn to love each other. It’s what she first told me when I entered her class all those years ago.”
Marinette risked a look over to where Bustier stood. The woman’s eyes were wide with concern as she fiddled with her sleeve. Offering a hand to Stephanie, Marinette helped her stand.
“You really hurt me Caline. Do you understand how much of a perfectionist I became? It was unhealthy. I lost jobs for taking too long on projects because I knew I couldn't turn in something that wasn’t example worthy. Do you know how many raises I missed out on because I took the high road and let my coworkers walk all over me, claiming my victories as their own?”
Bustier opened her mouth and closed it as if she was a gaping fish. Marinette slowly became conscious of the gathering crowd, all watching the exchange between the two women.
“Maybe-”
The woman held a hand to Marinette’s face as she marched forward, her own eyes watering in frustration.
“Did you know that I finally got a job on the school board? I was coming to observe your class, confident that you had realized your error by now, but then do you know what I overhear? You scolding another poor young girl like you did to me all those years ago. Do you know how many people you have hurt?”
Marinette took a step backward as she helped Chat Noir to his feet, both unsure how to handle the situation in front of them.
“What do we do my lady?”
“I’m not sure there’s much we can do.”
They watched as the color drained from Bustier’s face as Stephanie took a step forward. Her eyes narrowed in on the woman as she cleared her throat.
“Let’s make one thing clear here. I’ll return at a random date to do this observation and if I feel in the slightest way that the young woman I saw or anyone for that matter is falling victim to your abuse then I will see to it that you never teach again. Understood?”
Bustier simply nodded as the woman turned on her heel, exiting the building as chaos exploded. Marinette shared a look with Chat Noir as they both swung out of the school, trying to keep neutral faces.
It wasn’t the way they would’ve handled it, but maybe a little karma is what they needed to push for a change and neither could deny how ready they were for that.
Permanent Tag List:
@damianette-is-life @ash-amg @rebecarojas07 @heaven428 @long-lost-peace @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss
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Saving Each Other
Note: Trauma-versaries aren’t supposed to be spent alone crying. Inspired by the times Leo has been there for me.
Theme song is here. You could also listen to this theme too, if you’d like.
Staying up till almost midnight thinking on this was kinda worth it. Kinda. It helps me handle not being able to color this art at least. Suck it, Ty.
Official AU starring Shinsō and Tomoko needs a title to round them all up at this rate. =.=
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Shinsō always thought that Hoshino — well, Tomoko to him now — was a loud sort of person. Not intentionally, considering how shy she could be around new faces, but it was endearing, if you asked him about it. Whether it was in class or at the occasional lunch break, her high-pitched voice was bright enough to rival Present Mic on her good days. She squeaked when happy, she squeaked when surprised, she just always squeaked. Mic-sensei and Midnight-sensei both always found her cute, but eh, it was an acquired taste, listening to Tomoko’s voice. At least the voice alone let him find her in a crowd every single time they got separated; even if she was short enough to get lost.
Shinsō could’ve easily been fooled into thinking that was the bulk of her entire personality if not for one day. It took one day for him to find her as someone almost completely different.
It was after All for One had already been taken down by All Might, and the dorms were set up for all the classes. School had been finished for the day and for once, Shinsō wanted out of the dorms and room to just pedal. His bike had been neglected since his training with Aizawa started, not helped by the dorms’ construction to begin with. Fresh air was supposed to be a good idea.
Tomoko wasn’t supposed to be sitting at a swing set by herself when he went out.
The park itself was empty, uncharacteristic of the area considering the UA’s security and the number of neighborhoods surrounding the school. Along with the setting sun, it would’ve been a prime time for kids to come and play.
Tomoko wasn’t supposed to be the only occupant there, swinging alone with a sad expression on her face.
Shinsō stopped his bike almost immediately to walk it into the park, trying to read his friend’s posture. She was hunched into herself, not projecting like she would in school, and her mouth was moving. It took an extra second for him to realize she was humming to herself. Not loud enough for him to make out the lyrics of the song, but there was no mistaking the loneliness in her normally bright blue eyes.
Yep. Screw this shit.
He bit his lip and walked close to the swing set, gently leaning his bike against the metal structure before taking a seat in the nearest empty swing. “Tomoko?”
Tomoko didn’t jolt. Rather, she didn’t even make a sound while blinking to look up at him, and it took all Shinsō had to not recoil at the sheer overwhelming relief in her eyes at seeing him. “Hitoshi-kun.” Her voice was just as quiet as the humming that led him to her. Her smile that came afterwards felt and looked fake. “Hi. Where did you come from?”
“The dorms,” he admitted, pushing his shoes into the sand underneath him to start swinging. The momentum was a good enough distraction for whatever was on the horizon of Tomoko’s mind. “Wanted to bike and then I saw you here. And I thought you wouldn’t want to be alone.”
“Oh,” Tomoko says, and then goes silent. She swings a bit too, the metal creaking underneath her weight. “Thankie, but…you didn’t have to come,” she adds, hesitant. “I was just thinking a bit.”
“Oi. I wanted to,” he replies, because now this has his hackles up. Gekkō and Davy both warned him to be careful when Tomoko was alone to think, because if Aizawa-sensei’s own tiptoeing around her was any indication, this was delicate. “You don’t have to be alone, Tomoko.”
Tomoko’s swing stops moving. She grips the handles a bit tighter. “…If you say that, I dunno what to say in response, Hitoshi-kun.” Her feet drudge up some sand. “Because it’s a day like this where I thought it’d be better to be alone.”
This just sounds wrong, in so many ways. Gekkō’s the one who’s supposed to say troubling things, not Tomoko. What was going on? “Why?” Shinsō says instead.
Tomoko sighs, a broken sound to the breath. “…It’s a long story,” she says, and her voice cracks at the words. “And if I say it, I’m not sure how you’re going to react, Hitoshi-kun, and I’m scared of that.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he protests, but once his voice raised in volume, Tomoko’s flinching and he winces. Argh. Not the right tone. This wasn’t the time to get angrily defensive. “Tomoko, we’ve known each other for a while now and I know you wouldn’t hurt me. So why are you scared of me possibly hurting you?”
Tomoko shakes her head, shrinking into herself. The swing creaks under her compressed weight. “It’s… kinda part of that long story. And before you say anything, it’s not your fault. It’s just me. Remembering someone I wish I didn’t know.”
The fuck? There was someone Tomoko didn’t want to remember? This was starting to hit a note he didn’t realize he had in common with Tomoko, and it was honestly shitty to even think about.
What else about her did Shinsō not know? What else was she hiding?
At Shinsō’s questioning stare, Tomoko sighs a long, deep sigh before raising her head to look at him in the eye, a sad frown tugging at her lips. “I’m sorry. For sounding mysterious, I mean. It’s not exactly something I talk about with everyone. Heck,” Tomoko laughs dryly, “Only Kei really knew the whole story up ‘till now. But if you want to, I can explain. The only thing I’m concerned about now is whether you’re able to hear me out or not. I can cry during this thing. So.” Tomoko smiles wryly. “Are you up for the story?”
He wasn’t really sure. These kind of things reminded him of his time in middle school, and those were days Shinsō was prepared to take to the grave. Even then, Shinsō gestured to his bike nearby with extra exaggerated motions. “Whatever you feel is okay. But when you feel like going back to the dorms, I can drive. And get you to the convenience store for tissues.”
The joke, as horribly-timed as it is, gets a small laugh out of Tomoko. The sound cuts through the thick air enough for Shinsō to crack a grin. It still sounded like Hoshino. “Y-You dork, that’s a bike, Hitoshi-kun, not a car. I’m now worried that I’ll be too heavy to ride on it with you.” Still, she’s smiling again and Shinsō relaxes. That’s how Tomoko should be. Not depressed like this. Her smile should’ve been bigger, but he’d take what he could get. “You silly friend.”
“Had to get it from Davy and Kei sometime, Tomoko,” he snarks, and Tomoko giggles. At least she’s smiling. “We’re all dorks, so don’t deny it.”
“I-I’m not,” she giggles again and then her shoulders straighten. “I’m just…” she goes quiet once more, much to Shinsō’s displeasure, ducking her head. In spite of his own misgivings, Shinsō waits. This was definitely delicate. “I’m just grateful. That you and everyone I know won’t turn out to be like the person I’m about to talk about.”
“The… person.” Shinsō repeats.
Tomoko nods, looking downwards while kicking up some sand with her shoes. “He was my first friend. Way before I met Kei. Let’s just call him ‘Ty’ for now, since that’s what he went by.” Shinsō digests the name, but can’t help feeling apprehensive. And, sure enough, Tomoko gulps a breath. “And, as sad as it makes me think about it,” she visibly swallows, “I think he was my first love. I… I cut him off about a year or so ago, before coming to UA.”
Shinsō freezes just in time with his heart stopping in place. “He…” There was no way. Did this Ty guy, whoever he was, hurt Tomoko? The girl who happily gave parts of herself away in the form of chocolate to everyone? The General Studies student that all the teachers loved? How? How could someone hurt— What the absolute fuck—
Tomoko sighs again.
Shinsō forces himself to breathe. “Did he hurt you?”
Without a single beat in-between, Tomoko looks up at him. The sheer amount of emotions swirling in her blue eyes confirmed the answer to his question, but before he could say anything, she opened her mouth. “Not… not initially. We were friends, in the beginning. We liked the same things, we got along a lot to the point of hanging out at each others’ houses.” She laughs, and this time the sound is bitter and hopeful all at once. “Mama and Papa even liked him at one point. It’s just…” Tomoko trails off.
“He fucked up?” he offers.
Tomoko, again, shakes her head. “N-No. I did.” She ducks away, looking smaller and smaller by the second. “I couldn’t help him. When he needed it, I couldn’t do anything. And he yelled and yelled and yelled at me for it. I-I think he hated me for it.” She shivers. “I-I cut him off before going to UA, because it hurt hearing him say all those things and not care if I was crying or not, but I still miss him and,” this time, there’s a sniffle, “I hate it because he’s gone and I can’t help but miss him.”
What the absolute fuck. “I call fucking bullshit on the fuck-ups,” Shinsō proclaims aloud. “There’s no way you could fuck up, Tomoko. He did first.” Yep. Now she’s flinching and looking up at him like he said something that went against God, but Shinsō could care less about that. He said the truth. Why couldn’t she believe that? Instead of protesting, he adds, “People are horrible, and bullies are the worst of it. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“I-I wish you wouldn’t use that wording—”
“I get that, but Tomoko.” She goes quiet at that. Shinsō reaches over to hold her shoulder past the swing. It was still Tomoko. It was still the Hoshino he got to know, and she was way more of a survivor than anyone gave her credit for. She was far too kind than anyone gave her credit for. Ty was already dropping into the deepest parts of his mental hell for simply abusing that. “I get it. You don’t have to explain.”
“You…” her blue eyes are wide enough to reflect his figure in the irises. “You get it? Hitoshi-kun, did you…” Tomoko stumbles. “Did you…”
Did you get hurt by people close to you before?
Shinsō pauses, feeling his heart clench in that not-so-great way, but nods anyway. There’s no mistaking that familiar shame in the air, no matter how many years it’s been. “You can’t help what you long for, no matter what everyone else says,” he admits, and even if the words are recycled from his first Sports Festival, they are making a visible effect. Tomoko’s staring at him. Like she wasn’t expecting him to understand. Why wouldn’t he? The shitty ideas of other people isn’t something foreign to him. He really needed to teach her how to cold read others. Still, he continues with an equally honest addition of, “And it doesn’t matter what Ty said to you in the past. I know you couldn’t fuck up badly when you were one of the first people who believed I could be a Hero.”
Tomoko blinks, her braid brushing her face, and then pink colors her cheeks. “Y-You have all the heart for it, being a Hero,” she says, her voice cracking, “so, I mean…”
“So this Ty guy needs to have his face punched in, once we graduate,” Shinsō finishes for her. “Or to be mind-controlled.” For once, as villainous as the idea is, he doesn’t think he’d hesitate to use his Quirk if he ever saw any visage of Ty. The guy was already a douchebag for making Tomoko cry and try to hide it.
Shinsō did not want to think about Ty possibly being the cause of Tomoko’s main anxiety problem. Because if he was, there would be words exchanged. Many words.
“E-Eh?” Tomoko’s blinking rapidly and then she’s turning away to wipe at her face with her sleeve. “No, wait. Hitoshi-kun, did you—”
Shinsō sighs and pulls Tomoko in for a full side-hug, not even caring about the swings between them. “You deserve better,” Shinsō says, even if his heart protests at the thought of her not being here with him. Someone was going to make her happy one day. He had to focus on that, not on some whim his heart was playing at with feelings. “It doesn’t matter what he did. He still hurt you. And you don’t have to linger on him when he never deserved it. He hurt you and lost the chance to be with you. So there’s better ways of spending your time than crying yourself a puddle over a jerk like him.”
Tomoko freezes. “You…” she sounds close to crying this time, and she leans into his side, visibly gulping. “You knew?”
“You’re an open book, Tomoko.” The position they’re in is awkward, no thanks to the swings’ metal bars clanking against each other uncomfortably, but Shinsō still can’t find it in himself to care. “And my Quirk made it so I had to read other people. You’re just really easy to read.”
“Uuuu,” she murmurs instead, and Shinsō pretends to not see the tears prickling at her eyes as she wipes at her face. She needs space. “I-I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult.”
“It can be whatever you want it to be,” he squeezes her shoulders in what he hopes is comforting. His heart isn’t helping, but he still ducks his head and presses his nose into her hair. “It’s still something that I like about you.”
He keeps out the thought of wanting to pummel Ty into the ground. Even if he wants to, especially since Ty hurt Tomoko to the point of her still agonizing over him, that kind of thing wouldn’t help. Tomoko was still here and she needed a friend first, not a revenge-seeking Hero-hopeful student.
Tomoko seizes up this time. “Uuu… Uwah.” Then she’s slowly getting up and out of her swing, and Shinsō lets her, watching as she slowly makes her way to stand in front of him, hands gripping the hem of her skirt. She’s looking everywhere but him, she’s fidgeting, but Shinsō can’t deny how she actually looks cute. “H-How could you… you just say that without even minding…” there’s a sniffle. “H-Hitoshi-kun, could you…” Tomoko visibly swallows and through her bangs, Shinsō can see the beginnings of a waterfall. She opens her arms to him, shaking. “Could you…?”
Shinsō sighs this time and gets up from his swing, opening his arms in return. He wasn’t Gekkō, and he certainly wasn’t any Davy, but he could try. Leonhart could do it, so why not him? He could be a good rock for once. That was what Heroes were for, right? “Come here, you doofus,” he says gently.
Tomoko’s lip quivers and then she’s barrelling into his chest. The impact hurts, Shinsō’s reeling from the momentum, but Tomoko’s actually hugging him. Her hands are clutching the front of his T-shirt and something starts to soak the front of it. What the — Oh. Oh. She’s crying for real this time. “I can’t believe you sometimes. I-I thought, I thought,” she’s shivering, her voice muffled by his shirt, “I thought you weren’t going to believe me.”
Undiagnosed anxiety. Goddammit.
Shinsō presses a hand to her hair, petting it softly. “You haven’t given me a reason not to believe you,” he points out rationally, exhaling as deeply as he could. “You’re fine, Hoshino.”
Tomoko laughs shakily. “Wh-Why are you going back to my last name?”
Shinsō pretends to think on it before shaking his head and hugging her a bit tighter. “You’re still the same person you were when we first met. So, whether it’s Hoshino or Tomoko, it’s still you. And you’re okay.”
There’s a distinct sob in his shirt as Tomoko hugs him back tighter. “Aye… Aye…” she sniffles. “Y-You really are a Hero, Hitoshi-kun.”
Shinsō for once scoffs, shaking his head. “Says the girl who has all the heart in the world. I still want to insult Ty, by the way.” Tomoko tenses in the hug, but Shinsō holds her down with an extra squeeze to her waist. “But what was it that Gekkō said…?” He pauses, pretending to think on it again. “Ah. That.”
“That…?”
“Your heart saved the world, Tomoko,” Shinsō repeats from memory, and before Hoshino can respond, he finishes with a duck of his head and a smaller, heartfelt admission into the crown of her black hair. “…And you saved mine. You still do.”
A pause. Then Shinsō hears a surprised giggle out of Hoshino. It’s warm and for once, hopeful again. She’s still hugging him, but the wetness isn’t getting any bigger on his shirt for once and the shivers have stopped. “You helped me too, Hitoshi-kun,” she says in the same amount of quiet. “You saved me too.”
The thought suddenly occurs to him, so he says thoughtlessly, “Is this the part where I’m supposed to say ‘we saved each other’? Because I’m not good at those cheesy lines like you.”
Tomoko laughs again, happier in the gesture. The sheer relief in her laughter is palpable and, honestly, contagious. “J-Just hug me, you silly friend of mine.”
Shinsō hides a cheeky grin and presses his cheek to Tomoko’s hair. He can still smell the rosemary. “How’s the weather down there? Better?”
“Mm,” she murmurs absently, and he can feel her snuggle him. “Hitoshi-kun?”
“Yeah?”
“Th-Thank you. Really. For saying all that. It… It helps convince that irrational part of me that still is on Ty’s side to shut up.” There’s another giggle, albeit watery and shy. Shinsō’s heart could leap out of his chest or do a dumpster dive into his gut — he’s not sure anymore. “Though, Hitoshi-kun, c-can I ask you one more thing?”
Shinsō loosens his hold to give her agency. “Sure.”
Tomoko slowly pulls out of the hug, looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes while still gripping his shirt. “Even with my dark parts, even when I’m oblivious and clueless, are you…” she paused again, looking down before meeting his stare. Her blue eyes aren’t wavering, but they definitely show hesitance and vulnerability. A side of Hoshino Shinsō doesn’t think he’s seen before. “Are you still okay with me?”
Oh. The answer is immediate. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Tomoko fumbles, and her hands shake as she tries to find some kind of steady grip on his shirt. “I-I mean, I’m not exactly Hero material, Hitoshi-kun! I can talk a lot, I’m only really good at chocolate with my Quirk, and—”
Shinsō is very tempted to roll his eyes. “And? That’s supposed to relate to this in what way?”
The pink on Tomoko’s cheeks spreads outwards to be a light red. “Um. I wasn’t exactly finished…?”
Shinsō decides to take a page from Gekkō’s book by flicking Tomoko’s forehead. Ignoring her protesting “AH!”, he pulls her in by her shoulders to bump foreheads. He might have yanked too hard, but he still has something to say. Especially to that shadow hanging over her head. “You’re still my friend, Tomoko. Quit listening to whatever voice is in your head and listen to mine, will you?”
Tomoko is still staring at him. “Hitoshi-kun…”
Shinsō closes his eyes. “I have no clue what Ty did to you. I don’t think I want to know if you came here by yourself, missing a jerk like him. But you were able to cut him off. You made it here, and I…” his cheeks are burning too, but he still bites it out. “I’m still glad that I met you. No matter what.”
Tomoko stills. Then she shudders again. “O-Oh,” she says, her hands are still clutching the front of his shirt and her voice shakes, but there’s a smile in the sound. “Y-You are good at those cheesy lines after all, Hitoshi-kun.”
Shinsō opens his eyes and looks into bright blue. Tomoko’s eyes could’ve been like the sky. “I got it from you, you doofus.”
A single, lone tear rolls down Tomoko’s cheek as she nods. “A-Aye, aye.” There’s another pause and Tomoko nods again, as if confirmation to herself before smiling wider at him. “I’m glad I met you too, Hitoshi-kun.”
Shinsō grins wryly and reaches over with his right hand to wipe the tear away. “Yeah, yeah. C’mon, Tomoko. Let’s go back home to the dorms. I’ll drive.”
“Y-You mean,” Tomoko reaches up to hold his hand in one of hers, leaning into it with a fond smile, “You’ll bike and I’ll be riding with you?”
“Don’t harp on it.” He returns the grip even if he’s blushing, but Tomoko’s smiling and now things feel like how it’s supposed to be. Warm and just right. “Unless you need tissues?”
Tomoko laughs again. “N-Nah. Just one thing.”
“What’s that—”
Shinsō feels himself turn to granite once Tomoko leans over to press a kiss to his cheek. Did that just—
The warmth disappears as quickly as it came and Tomoko smiles at him, still pink in the face. Did she just— “Now we can go home!” she declares happily, and without a single second to spare, she pulls back to start skipping towards his bike, waving at him once she arrives. “C’mon, Hitoshi-kun!”
Yep. His friend just kissed him. Whoop-de-fucking-do.
Shinsō covers his cheek with his other hand, blinking rapidly. “H-Hoshino, what the heck—”
“Just a form of gratitude!” she chirps and he doesn’t know if he’s fooling himself or not, but she’s still blushing. Just like him. “C’mon, Hitoshi-kun, let’s go!”
“…What the hell,” he says in tired disbelief before shaking his head. Maybe he could talk about that later because she couldn’t just do that and expect him not to react. “I hope you’re not heavy, unless you want to be dropped.”
“Hey!” Tomoko’s pouting. “I’ll hang on! If you don’t mind me hugging your waist and all!”
Shinsō scoffs under his breath, shoving his hands into his pants pockets. “I will so beat Ty’s ass for you.”
“Fweh? What was that?”
“Nothing. Let’s just go, Tomoko.”
The Chocolate Fairy beams. “Aye aye then, Cap’n.”
Doofus.
Shinsō could talk with Aizawa-sensei later. There wasn’t really a handbook on how Heroes handled romance, anyways. Maybe he’d have the answer another day. For now, he’d take this much.
For now.
#shinsō hitoshi#hoshino tomoko#writing#my hero academia#alternate universe#oneshot#long post#tw: implied abuse#chocolate seashell
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Fanfic Gift
“Time to eat!”
Before the words left her mouth, Diva’s chopsticks began to move on a collision course with her lunch.
It was the first night in her apartment in Osaka. She began to unpack her boxes and luggage during the entire day and only had a few items left to unpack. She had chosen a decent apartment to live in, though honestly her father believed she could have done better and it was mostly out of dire desperation to live on her own. It wasn’t the young children running jumping upstairs or the old man shouting at a passerby in the hallway for playing his music too loud that made her fall in love right away with the apartment. It was the fresh start that she needed to begin a life for herself and the distance from her family. Moving out of her parent’s home was a little stressful, she loved them dearly yet she didn’t want to live with them for the rest of her life. Especially her younger siblings, the twins.
Diva put in her earbuds and made her new bed, aligned her books, and stocked up on the family photos. Diva had lived in Yokohama, Japan previously with her family, however after wanting to see more of the world and earn a since of independence she moved out to Osaka where the six hour seventeen minute drive was pure bliss. Sadly, she had left behind a great number of friends there whom she missed terribly. She was already depressing herself with memories of her classmates. A new move meant that she would have to attend a whole new high school with people she didn’t even know. The whole idea was terrifying in itself.
She picked up the flyer beside her, staring at the large print. Sakuranomiya High School. She hadn’t really looked up much information on it though she figured it would be a decent school just like the last one. At her other school she’d been a top student excelling in all subjects, practically at the head of her class. Her teachers were saddened to see her go. Especially Etsuko, her best friend since she’d been in Yokohama for those years. Then again Diva didn’t remember much about her early years due to a childhood incident that left her amnesiac. Her ever so concerned parents reassured her that all of her old memories would return one day. It bothered her that some part of her memories were locked away, that she couldn’t tap into them at all. Her psychiatrist claimed that some sort of traumatic event would unlock all of her memories.
Sometimes Diva dreamt about a place that depending on the weather would be bone chilling cold or lave hot; stones pressing into her skin and…footsteps. Someone running down a hallway or corridor and the clang of a lock falling to the floor…then nothing. What was it?
She removed her earbuds, paused her music and walked over to her laptop. Opening the thin notebook she typed in her password, accessed her video chat and waited. She promised her mom she would video call her once she’d been settled into her humble abode. It would be a relief to see her mother’s kind face. She waited a few minutes then a kind face framed by ebony hair popped up on her screen.
“Diva, my sweet baby.” her mother’s soft voice announced through the speakers. “How are things in your new apartment?”
“It’s great mom. The view is absolutely gorgeous.”
“Well I wish I were there with you baby. I’m glad you’re safe and sound, mommy got worried.”
Diva tucked a strand of dark hair behind her hair. Her mother was overly protective as well as a fierce mama bear. No one messed with her kids and got away with it. Once one of the twins had been hit with a ball at school one day by a gang of bullies. Not being one to tell, her brother Tatsuya confided in her which had been a big mistake because Diva’s tongue slipped to her mother about the hit. Her mother arrived at school one day with the twins in tow demanding one of them tell her who hit Tatsuya. Finally, Kohaku-the oldest twin born two minutes before Tatsuya-wagged his tongue. A bigger boy named Gin was the culprit.
Long story short Gin never bothered the twins again. Their mom could be quiet scary when she needed to be, she even scared their father not too long ago.
“How’s dad?”
“He’s still upset that you moved in that crummy apartment building. He wanted you to finish school down here, go off to a university.”
“Of course…” Diva sighed. “I happen to like it down here. School doesn’t start until next week and I found a job here that I love.”
“You did?” Her mother’s onyx eyes lit up like Christmas trees. “What kind of job?”
“I’m working as a waitress at a steak house,” she replied cheerfully. Diva loved working she wasn’t the type of girl to be pampered and spoiled by her parents or use their money for her own personal use. School wasn’t as boring as balls as her best friend Etsuko once quoted.
“Can I talk to dad?”
“Sorry dear, he’s away at work at the moment. Would you like for me to leave a message?”
“Work again, huh?” Diva remarked trying not to sound upset.
“I know you miss him, honey. Maybe sometime this week or the next the two of you can chat it up.”
“I would hope so. Oh, mom there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“What would that be?”
“Before I left home, I was in the attic looking for old photos of myself for a school project. I noticed that there weren’t any photos of me as a baby or even as a young girl. Just pictures of me today. There are pictures of the twins from infancy to their pre-teens now.”
Her mother was silent for the next few minutes, her eyes shifted from the other side of the screen, she bit on her thumb nervously.
“Mom?”
“Sweetheart, a long time ago there was a fire that pretty much burned all of our family photos. Your father and I tried to save the photos but they were so horribly burnt there was no need to keep them.”
“I don’t remember a fire…”
“Diva, dear you don’t remember a lot of things.”
“You’re right I suppose.”
“I’m sorry if I came off rude.”
“No it’s fine. I was just curious as to why there weren’t any photos of me from my early childhood…”
“Don’t worry Diva it will all work out soon.”
She blinked not saying anything.
“Diva?” her mother asked.
“I have to go now…I love you.” She didn’t give her mother a chance to respond as she had closed the top of her laptop shutting it down. She had been asking her mother that same question for the past two years, if not her then her father. And it was always a different story as to why there weren’t photos of herself during her early childhood. Her photos had either been lost during their moves, the family had moved about ten times, they had been eaten by moths or gotten wet during a flood, causing them to mold. They kept telling her these things until eventually she stopped asking. It would just be nice to have some semblance of photographic memories of herself to hold onto.
“I don’t really know much about anything.”
Diva had no recollection of any event in her life that had occurred more than one year ago.
Simply labeling it amnesia seemed too exaggerated, and for the most part her day-to-day life wasn’t all that inconvenienced by it. However, it was times like this that she had a sense of loss for the memories she no longer had. The worst part about it was feeling like she didn’t know whom she was most days.
“It’s been a whole year and there’s so much I don’t know about…it’s frustrating.”
That’s weird. A fire destroyed my photos? Wouldn’t she have told me this long before instead of now? Why wait this long?
Diva changed into a pair of shorts and T-shirt, pulling her long raven hair into a braid and unpacked another box of her belongings.
Next door she could hear her neighbor throw something heavy in one corner of their room and children running up and down the halls. Suddenly a knocking came onto her door. Perplexed the ravenette frowned wondering who could be at her door this late into the hour.
Walking over to the door she peered through the peephole and unlatched her door to, opening so that she could get a full view of the stranger at her door. She was not prepared for the man on the other side. He was rather tall so much so that he dwarfed her own stature. His dark hair was so black it made Diva look like a blonde and his eyes, those grey slated pupils were staring at her without so much as blinking.
“Hello, how may I help you?”
“I hope I’m not keeping up too much noise, neighbor.”
“Oh no, you’re fine. I’m doing a lot of unloading myself. I just moved here.”
“Welcome to the neighborhood.”
“Thank you,” she said smiling.
submitted by (lupitabadu)
Ah! Thank you so much! This is adorable! c: I enjoy the parallels between Light-Novel Saya, and the fact that Diva has a loving family (for once). Also the neighbor-boy is totally Haji, so that promises upcoming drama…
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Before I start giving my two cents about this comic let it be known that this one is very heavy and political. It contains themes and situations that may be triggering to some readers if not properly prepared for them. Even I found myself having to take breaks just to catch my breath. So, just a warning for those who feel they may not be able to handle this particular read.
Doomsday, My Dear is a very unusual comic in that the creator wants it to be read completely from start to finish in one go. It’s a bit of an odd goal considering the very essence of a project like this is something that is updated once a week to every weekday if we readers are lucky. It is supposed to be a “film-like” experience once it is finished and I can honestly see what they mean.
The “camera” isn’t like most comics. The cuts and scene changes are timed pretty much exactly how I would expect a tv show would. The first few pages even set up the threat that will be present for the duration of the story, or at least for as much as we have seen so far. Each chapter feels like it is its own act or season with spans of time occasionally jumped past but still maintaining that same visceral fear and confusion that previous chapters had. I really wouldn’t be surprised if someone went out of their way to animate this entire story from start to finish.
There is a pretty large cast of characters, and each of them contributes to the plot in their own ways, but we haven’t really seen exactly how each of them affects the web of this story. For sake of ease, we’ll focus on the character that receives the most “screen time” in the story, Abner Kecket.
A young, scrawny lad of nineteen years with a debilitating stutter. He is just your average kids trying his best to get through life even as he is beaten down by bigger and stronger people. Oh, and to make matters worse he is one of many “Carriers”, people with a new genetic mutation that has the effects of heterochromia as well as having any children they usher into the world to be born fatally sick. Where this mutation came from and what its relevance to the story is you’ll just have to see for yourselves because man does it involve some spoilers if I tell you here.
I really relate to Abner, at least on some levels. While I was never abused quite to the extent he was I did have my share of bullies growing up. Plus I’m just a sucker for a character we’re so obviously supposed to sympathize with, I mean come on. It’s so very interesting to watch the subtle changes in his, as well as all the other characters as we read. He goes through so much and we watch as he slowly grows in various ways and it has me so curious as to how all these experiences are going to impact Abner in the long run.
The story itself is amazing. It has political intrigue, espionage, mystery, and scenes that just downright give me shivers and make me cringe. It is such an interesting read that I really wish it was already completed so I could experience as the author intended it to be. I will say, if you’re used to reading other comics this one may be a bit hard to adjust to since the style is so different. It was a bit jarring for me at first but once I got invested in the story it was a breeze to read the rest.
The art starts out very rough and sketchy, which of course I personally love, and slowly evolves into an elegant and beautiful platform for this story. The backgrounds can occasionally be lackluster, like a blurred as the “camera” focuses on what’s in the foreground. I don’t mind this too much as the details of the scenes are there and we can make out where each scene is supposed to be taking place, but I’m just one of those people who likes looking at the backgrounds and seeing what sort of things I can find. Not really a huge gripe with the comic just a small peeve I have with it is all.
Honestly, I’m tempted to just save this one and wait for it to be finished before picking it back up, but at the same time, I really wanna know what happens next. Give it a read, let me know what you think, get hooked and yet another good story.
And, as always, I hope you enjoy as much as I do.
Like Doomsday? Wanna show your support? Head on over to the Patreon page and consider pledging and possibly getting some snazzy rewards. wanna just follow the comic or the artist for updates or other artings? Well then be sure to check out @doomsdaymydear and @cafiffle . Like my reviews? Well then I also have a patreon page you can check if you so wish. Thanks very much for reading!
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Let's Talk: Even Then Food Don't Taste that Good. Drinks ain't Doin' What it Should
As I was saying, ED became my lover.
Before I get into that though, let's get into more background because Lanta knows when I'm dead and gone and some sleuth discovers my music or the thousands of projects that are half finished or have been shot down, the masses will want to know the story of the foo fighter obsessed Hanson fan who wrote a jazz album full of country songs.
Okay, I'm exaggerating to the nth degree but you can't blame me because I want to be the female Nick Drake and I'm nothing without my flair for the dramatíc.
I will say, if you are in treatment for ED or thinking you need help, I AM NOT CONDONING EATING DISORDERS. I am working through shit by word vomiting and explaining things as I saw them. As I felt them. Something it's taken me 15 years to do. So, either skip this post or read with this in mind: if you don't get a hold of your ED it will hunt you down and kill you. There are people that want you here. You are here for a reason. Love you.
Back to it. Childhood is full of milestones. Sunny days filled with bike rides, corner store stops, skinned knees and scraped hearts. I was a late bloomer to nearly everything, except the scraped heart. That thing has been scraped so many times that most days I'm positive it's a wilted brown apple core.
I never learned to ride a 2 wheel bike. To the point that when I got too big for normal training wheels the local Chrysalis centre gave me a custom bike with 2 adult size training wheels. Which was incredibly cool and gave me my first real taste of freedom, until it got me bullied harder.
I don't remember the first time someone said something nasty to me because of my CP. I do remember the things they did.
I love to swim. I went to the local outdoor pool when I was about seven years old. I put my glasses in an unlocked locker because I trusted that people were good and I didn't have a quarter. When I came back and went about re-dressing my glasses were nowhere to be found. As I fumbled home while my eyes stung with chlorine and strain I found them shattered in the gutter. I picked up their bent frames and wondered how they got there.
When I was 8, I really wanted to play with the other kids but since a cripple couldn't be a teammate they made me the ball. Remember tetherball? I do too. Because I was tied to the tether pole and spun around it all recess until the janitor came to get me down. Kids threw tiny playground rocks at me by the handful hoping they would get in my AFO's, which SUCKS. There were so many instances and that was only at school. Home was a different,darker hell thats still a few posts away.
The first time I denied myself food I just wasn't hungry. It was one of those moments where you're so down that the last thing on your mind is food. I knew I should eat, but I didn't. And you know what? I felt better. This body that I was stuck in that took all my control from me was listening to me. Here's how the conversation went:
Body: Feed me.
Me: No.
Body: But... not even a little??
Me: I said NO.
ED: Good, see how easy that was ?
What? Who was this other voice? Hello? Who's there?
ED: It's me, darling. You know me. Come, you have that choral piece to learn, English homework to finish and you should probably figure out how you're going to fake your way through that dance number in act 2.
Me: okay. Yeah. Yeah that sounds... oh god that dance number...
ED: I know, love. I've got you. We'll put on Phantom and get through this. You only need me.
Power is intoxicating. I felt empowered by the seduction of denial. I started losing weight and gaining the praise of my appearance obsessed mother, my moreso appearance obsessed grandmother, and my peers. I started to score bigger parts despite limitations.
I was high on it. It's difficult to stop something that makes you feel better than anything else ever has. The reason that I referenced Phantom above is because I know EXACTLY how Christine feels toward him. Romantic manipulation. I have what you want. If you do this for me, you can have it. I'm the only one who knows and accepts all of you.
Food hates you. It only makes you bloated and pimply and full and who wants that? Gross. You didn't eat that second mouthful. You replaced it with water. See how beautiful you are? I'm so proud of you.
It was like riding my own personal Milky Way. As long as I was holding ED's hand I would be okay. If I worked hard and kept listening and stayed in control of my pesky body, it would all come to fruition.
You know what I wish someone had done when I was that kid dropping blazing fires and screaming that I would change the world? I wish they had taken me into their lap and stroked my hair and told me they knew and understood how much I wanted to theatre. I wanted to theatre so badly it was the verb, the adjective and the noun. But sometimes life isn't fair. It isn't always dependent on how much or hard you love something. How hard you work or how many librettos you can cram into your brain. Unfortunately, I chose to love something that is based almost entirely on image, marketability and your ability to be a product. No matter how many miles I hobbled, how little food I ate (or later, how much I threw up), how much reconstructive surgery I got, or how much I honed the talent I DID possess, I still had my CP limp, shakes, tremors and everything else. And sure, is done a lot of community theatre, even gotten paid a bit, and gotten one or two leads, but that didn't mean I was ever going to make it to Broadway and I needed to stop making that my goal.
... Maybe they did. Maybe I couldn't hear because everything was so loud. But ED was always there. Always pushing. And sometimes he was harsh but mostly he was Hollywood romantic. He held me. He praised me and loved me and said all the things I needed to hear.
He cradled me as I threw 86 theatre school rejection letters in a drawer for motivation and went back to stretching. Or singing, or studying. I was a hamster on a wheel that was dead set.
It wasn't until I got rejected from my last option for theatre school that I went into shock and had to regroup. I sat in a ba in my living room floor for two days trying to figure out who I was without theatre or instruments. Was everyone right? Was I a worthless cripple? I didn't have an identity or an answer.
That was the first time o tried to kill myself.
The next morning I was alive and knew I had to find something. There was a band whom I still love to this day that toured around often. I cashed what I had aside for college and followed them around for a couple years. I soaked my wounds in vodka and dirty guitar while my head filled with perfect five part harmony.
Some of the band members had their own demons. Which prompted one of them to take me by the shoulders in the midst of my third vodka cran of the evening. He told me he loved me and that I needed help. Somehow his voice overpowered ED's and I went and got help.
Gradually Luc (so named in treatment and short for Lucifer) got quiet and went seemingly dormant. But even then, as I saw sunshine for the first time, I knew it wasn't over. It's never over. It's a second by second struggle at times. I have relapsed more times this year than any other and I'm not afraid to say I liked it. It was comfortable. As I get older, CP gets more and more control and it felt nice to take it back for a minute. Crack the whip and shout "Mine Damnit!"
But then I remember the look of pure desperation in the eyes of someone I hold so dear and I find it in me to kick Luc in the balls again. For now.
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Lessons in Soap Making || AJ & Reza
AJ still didn’t know why he agreed to helping Reza out. Could it have been the painful reminder that running into that bar had shown him that just less than two years ago Reza had been the victim of the same bullying that AJ now endured? Or even some belated form of guilt for being friends with the same people that had bullied him? He doubted it. AJ had a bad habit of getting himself involved in high school drama for those kids that truly couldn’t defend themselves, but most of the time he was just trying to piss the popular kid off, not actually help the kid being bullied. It was just two birds with one stone. AJ didn’t run a charity. So that brought back the question of why exactly he was breaking into this abandoned warehouse at dusk and risking his neck becoming some buffet again. Of course, self-defense training required some isolation, but AJ wasn’t sure how he felt about venturing out into the woods alone with the dude. He definitely wasn’t going to show up empty handed. He brought along a wooden stake he had sharpened before hand and a cross necklace he found after digging through his mom’s old jewelry box. The warehouse Reza had known may still be abandoned, but it was closer to civilization at least. The place was definitely abandoned and it seemed like it had been for quite some time. Broken glass and abandoned equipment littered the wide-open space, plus a thick layer of dust and dirt covering the floors. Good thing AJ didn’t wear any nice clothes. “It’s AJ. If you’re hiding in the shadows creepily like you did at the school come out so I don’t stab you.” He waved the stake around for good measure.
Granted, this still wasn't one of Reza's brightest ideas (he really needed to work on his idea making skills) but if he could keep his fangs in his mouth, it would probably be useful. Just being able to deflect a full-force stake coming at him or maybe even having the capacity to dislocate a knee so running away would be easier... yeah, it would make Reza's undead life slightly less of a pain. He'd been texting away furiously on his phone when AJ arrived, completely oblivious to the other boy arriving until his voice echoed throughout the warehouse. "Wow, thirty seconds in and the death threats are already flying," he shouted back, dusting off his pants and yes, stepping out of the shadows to join AJ. Instantly, his eyes narrowed upon spotting the stake. Not to mention that he could practically feel the uncomfortable vibes coming off AJ's neck. "Didn't realize we were bringing weapons."
“I figure that if we get those out of the way now we can avoid them later if you try to kill me again.” AJ answered as nonchalantly as possible. Maybe more concerning than the fact that AJ even agreed to this with some guy that had tried to use AJ as a human shish kabob twice before was the fact that AJ really wasn’t concerned. Sure, he was apprehensive he would be a complete moron not to be. But he didn’t think that Reza was purposely trying to kill him. Of course, self-defense was a tricky and sometimes dangerous task, and the risk of cutting himself or bleeding at all was high. So he would have to work on his toes this evening. The later and darker the less advantage AJ would have over the vampire, and his limited amount of self-defense training paired with his strength already being less than Reza’s didn’t make for a fun combination. “You are a weapon.” AJ pointed out, showing off his teeth and pointing to them for show. If the wounds hadn’t already healed on AJ’s neck he could have shown off just how personally he had seen those weapons. “Plus, first rule of self-defense is that there are no rules. This isn’t a sanctioned fight. You fight dirty. If you can, know your opponent’s weaknesses before going into it.” He tossed the stick onto a broken and molding pallet and held his hands up in surrender as if to show that he didn’t mean to kill him. “I like to go into a fight knowing exactly what I’m up against if I have the opportunity.”
Reza couldn't say that he was a huge fan of being a weapon but it beat monster and a lot of other things he'd been called. Not to mention that there was some truth to it. Still, Reza had to resist baring his fans only out of sass because that definitely wasn't the way to start this training. And AJ was still holding that stake. It was comforting to see the stupid thing thrown off to the side and Reza eyed it with distaste. He had no idea why exactly he trusted AJ not to impale him while he wasn't looking but Reza had a gut feeling. Those were rarely wrong, despite how often he blatantly ignored them. "Slayers don't have any weaknesses. They're programmed for fighting vampires that are way stronger than me. But they're not invincible." Daring to take a few steps closer now that the stake was a safe distance away, Reza cracked his neck. "First lesson, Mr. Ricci?”
“Then don’t focus on physical weaknesses. Everyone has something that can throw them off of their game.” AJ had been on the losing side of too many fights, most of which involved him being outnumbered by the fact that he had no actual friends to back him up. Self-defense training gave people an advantage, but it only went so far. He learned quickly that he couldn’t out fight people at school to get them to leave him alone. He eventually figured out that people disliked their secrets getting out a lot more than taking a fist or two to the face. “My dad taught me that there will always be someone bigger or stronger than me. So he taught me how to use smaller size and strength as an advantage. The same applies here obviously. So the first thing you need to know is that evasion is key. Keep your guard up, but against someone with super strength like a Slayer you should know that a punch strong enough can throw you off no matter how perfect your guard position is. Focus more on avoiding punches entirely and wearing them out. The entire point of self-defense is avoiding them long enough to get away. Not start or finish a fight.” Not that AJ was actually good at that last part, but he was just basing it off of what his dad had always taught him. “Now come here so I can show you where to strike.” AJ distanced his feet apart to gain some more balance and began stretching his arm while he waited for Reza to move closer across the giant empty space and close the distance between them.
Reza listened with interest, nodding along as he took mental notes. This was exactly what he needed. In the back of his mind appeared a very faint projection of what training with Heath would have looked like compared to this. Probably just going for the throat and definitely no running away. Reza wasn't a big fan of starting fights and even less of finishing them but the eretich had never left any business unfinished. And Reza was going to be different. Survival without the brutality and apathy. AJ began stretching and already, Reza could hear how his temporary teacher's pulse picked up speed. AJ wasn't completely comfortable being here with Reza, which was understandable and pretty fucking smart, too. Pocketing his rings, just in case, Reza followed instructions and positioned himself within an arms length of AJ. "You're not just using this as an opportunity to hit me back, right?" he joked carefully, half-expecting a fist to the face followed by a stake to the heart. No, this was fine. He just needed to trust AJ like AJ was (sorta) trusting Reza right now.
“Of course I am. Why would I have agreed to this otherwise?” AJ shrugged nonchalantly, like this was the most obvious answer in the world. Maybe he was looking forward to this a bit. Despite what people may think, AJ has never been the most aggressive person alive. He knew how to fight and didn’t shy away from it, but he preferred other methods to solving disputes. Still, there was something about throwing a couple of punches that seemed almost therapeutic. It helped get out some of those pent-up aggressions that he built up every day, but without the four extra guys ganging up on AJ to beat the shit out of him. “The more you evade them the angrier they’re going to get. And angry is good. Anger gets in the way of logic and skill and leaves room for mistakes. So when that happens, you go for tender spots. Eyes” AJ used his index and middle finger to point at his own eyes, “Nose. Neck, ear, groin and knee.” He pointed at each body part as he moved down the list. “Eyes and nose throw off vision, ears and knee throw off balance. Then the power shots are neck and groin, for obvious reasons.” AJ motioned for Reza to hold his arm out and then grabbed onto it when he did, flexing it closed and pointing at Reza’s elbow, “When you hit someone, your first instinct is to throw a punch. That works, especially if you’re going for the ears or neck, but the toughest parts on the body are the elbow, knee, and your own head. Use those for real damage.”
Reza scoffed, eyes rolling despite the fact that AJ was joking. It was just the way AJ's eyes lit up that made Reza unnerved. Superstrength and healing didn't make up for the fact that getting hit in the face was far from pleasant. Wishing he literally had something to jot down notes with as AJ rambled on, Reza instead tried to keep up with his eyes, inadvertently roaming over the other boy's body. Warm hands on his own skin still felt weird, even through the material of Reza's hoodie but he gave a small test swing with his elbow shoved out. It was easy to imagine just how much damage that hard area could do to someone's face or even knee. "So you're recommending headbutts?" he asked, own head cocking to the side. Reza had only seen that in action a couple of times and it had ended with a black eye the first time and a bloody nose the second. Still, the person on the receiving end had been successfully knocked out. "Bit more hardcore than I imagined, but sure."
AJ laughed and dropped Reza’s arm, “Headbutting comes with issues of its own. Potential for concussions is a serious risk anytime the head takes any type of hit. Plus, it risks breaking the own skin which can limit your own vision. But, when you’re pinned to the ground or otherwise tied up,” AJ linked his hands behind his back just as an example, “It may be your only option. Plus, people get cocky once they think your limbs are out of commission.” AJ took a step closer to prove his point. They were close enough now that Reza could probably feel AJ’s breath on his face. It threw AJ off to remember that Reza didn’t even have to breathe anymore considering he was technically dead, “People get cocky when they think they’re in a more powerful position or think they’re close to victory. You see it in the movies all the time just how close they like to get to people that are tied up just to assert their dominance. This happens in real life too. If you’re tied up or pinned to the ground, egg them on. Piss them off until they’re so angry they have to move in closer to either hit you again or taunt you. Then you take advantage of the situation.” Then, AJ took a step back and grinned at Reza, “You following me so far? We can start moving on to the fun stuff.”
Tied... up. Sure. Reza hadn't needed to escape bondage thus far in his life and he really hoped it wasn't something he had yet to experience but... valuable information all the same, he guessed. It was probably something Veronica knew as a fact, seeing as she'd had him pinned down on his stomach, effectively taking any headbutting out of commission... and why was AJ standing so close? The breath on his face tickled and Reza had to avoid physically squirming from the proximity; being this close and even closer to AJ had been easy when Reza had been distracted by his blood but there obviously wouldn't be none of that now. Especially since Reza could see the chain disappearing down the collar of AJ's shirt, holding something that made the vampire uneasy. And that fucking grin... Was AJ just getting close to test whether or not Reza would bite him or something? Dick. "Avoid getting knocked out, go for weak spots, use the smart parts of your body and be an annoying asshole. Sure, sounds simple enough." His muscles were still rigid from the unexpected human (or sorta human) proximity and the fact that this was AJ really didn't help at all. A very frustrating mix of being annoyed by the guy while also wanting to taste his blood again or just anything else on the nice face-- "So, am I ready for the fun stuff?" What an awful, awful sentence in an abandoned warehouse.
AJ was still deciding how exactly to begin the actual self-defense portion of the evening and not just the informational fun facts. “Being an annoying asshole is just an added bonus. The cherry on top.” AJ smirked again, glancing around the warehouse once more to take in any information that he may have missed the first time he took the place in. He had to consider how the support columns and old equipment would affect the terrain and how he could move about it. Unfortunately, the most important part of any fight was your combater and AJ was already at a disadvantage, partly because of his own lack of strength but also because people were unpredictable. He could judge how many steps it would take before he would back into a sharp, rusty piece of metal or trip over a broken pallet but he couldn’t know when Reza or any person he was fighting was going to throw a right hook or try to kick his feet out from under him. It was why observation was so important in fights. Learning to predict someone’s movements was more important than any amount of self-defense training or supernatural strength. “I don’t think you’re ready at all actually. I’m pretty sure a strong breeze would knock over.” AJ let a short, sarcastic laugh out and poked at Reza’s shoulder wondering if he would fall over from the pressure. “But you gotta start somewhere I guess.” AJ took a couple of other steps back from Reza and spread his arms out, welcoming his advance, “Pin me.”
Reza had been in pretty confident mood upon arriving here, almost feeling positive, but AJ's slow shift into 'insufferable ass' was quickly plucking at Reza's thin patience. Granted, he had for sure known that AJ wasn't the sweetest but this felt... unnecessary. The poke to his shoulder was even more so and Reza's eyes narrowed. It wouldn't have surprised him if his irises had flashed red but seeing as AJ was beckoning him over with glee, it felt unlikely. First sign of any vampire response was sure to send AJ packing so Reza was probably fine; for now at least. "Seriously?" he gritted out, taking a few steps closer despite his hesitation towards the idea. His hand bunched up in AJ's sleeve, almost hesitantly despite his lingering annoyance because this felt weird-- almost like waiting to see if he really was supposed to try and pin AJ. When his tutor simply kept that stupid look on his face, Reza attempted to twist AJ's arm down into submission except in what felt like seconds, the arm slipped from his grip and there was a heavy shove to his back. Reza stumbled forward from the force and he didn't really know how a shove could feel mocking but it had. That time, his eyes definitely flashed red, with no one to see it but the warehouse's barren walls. Blinking and turning back to a much too smug AJ, Reza made his second attempt with much more vigour, the caution from before blown out the window.
AJ was setting out to prove a point that it was way too easy to lose control in a fight. The whole point of a fight was that someone in the party was angry. Emotions were a driving force in all humans, but too many of any emotion was dangerous because emotion lacked control. Keeping a level head was a necessity. Reza’s first attempt was understandably withdrawn, still unsure just how far he was supposed to go towards pinning his tutor down. AJ easily misdirected him and pushed him away, “That was pretty whimpy” AJ called out, egging the guy on. When Reza turned this time, his eyes flashed that same red color from the alley and the gym. Now Reza was angry. Still, when Reza came at him the second time and threw a punch, AJ dodged it, grabbing onto his wrist with one hand and the forearm side of his elbow with the other, guiding Reza away from AJ and pushing him off to the side again. “Ooh. An angry vampire. How adorable.” AJ was being more a of a dick than usual, though it was mostly for show. The third time when Reza turned to him he was pissed. Quicker than AJ could think Reza tackled into him and shoved him onto the ground. His arms and pinned by Reza’s arms and the rest of his body pinned down by Reza’s weight and strength. The only thing Reza could get to move were his head and just the bottom of his legs, and as much as AJ struggled, he wasn’t strong enough to push Reza off of him. “Finally. I was started to get bored. You have some serious anger issues dude. You need some love in your life?”
If Reza hadn't been in the middle of completely losing his temper, he would have been shocked by just how easily said temper had been lost. But how well he controlled his rage wasn't exactly at the forefront of his mind at the moment because he'd finally managed to pin down AJ. He was much too satisfied by the sound of AJ's body hitting the ground and it was that satisfaction that dragged him a few inches out of his fighting induced anger. This wasn't going to be like the gym again; he was terrified of feeling like a feral thing again. Or he should have been terrified by it, but the primal anger and lack of control had his mind in an iron grip now. "Fuck off," Reza replied, grip tightening on AJ. Was this teaching him any self defense at all? "This was a bad idea," he added angrily, his face all up in AJ's, close enough so that he could smell his blood.
Reza took the bait way too easily and now his face was just inches from AJ’s. Bingo. “You’re right, that was a bad idea.” AJ murmured before tossing his head forward, his forehead cracking against Reza’s face and an instant headache instantly springing on AJ. Like he had said, headbutts weren’t ideal if there were any other options, but sometimes it was the difference between the end of a match or another round. The impact from their two heads colliding loosened Reza’s grip on AJ, and he was able to slide out from under him and slid free. “Shit hurts doesn’t it? See what I meant?”
Reza saw the headbutt coming before he felt it but there was no time for him to move out of the way; something cracked in his nose and for the millionth time, it was like he snapped out the anger-induced reverie. AJ was towering over him, now, as Reza clutched at his nose and the blood dripping from it. Thankfully, he wasn't human so the bleeding wasn't quite as vigorous. Cursing under his breath, Reza touched his messed up and tender nose before cracking it into a somewhat better position. "Fuck." Looking up at the other boy through the tears in his eyes, Reza shamefully scrambled to his feet. "Touche," he muttered, wiping off the remaining blood -- it had stopped bleeding almost as quickly as it started. "So, control my... temper. Got it." His face ached but more so than that, he just felt ashamed for losing control in front of AJ. For the third time this month. "At least I didn't bite you."
“You get caught up in the moment. For a second it looked like you had all the power in the world, like you were unstoppable. But in the end it only left you open for a counterattack.” AJ explained. He couldn’t count the number of times AJ had gotten so frustrated at never being able to take his father down in one of their training sessions. His dad used to let him think he was winning only to overpower him at the very end just to prove a point. And almost every time without fail AJ took the bait and got pissed off or worked up about it. It took AJ forever to realize that the whole point of the exercise was to show him exactly why he shouldn’t get so angry or worked up about things. “You just need to keep reminding yourself that you’re only there to survive. It’s not about pride or whatever bullshit people fight for. Your one and only goal is to get the hell away from them.” AJ made a useless attempt at wiping away some of the dirty and dust that had collected on his jeans and back when he was tackled to the ground. Wasn’t sure why he even made the effort, assuming the two would be back there before the end of the night anyways. “Which brings us to the next tip, fight dirty.” Probably the most important rule there was, “You do whatever you have to do to get away. Bite them, headbutt them, spit on them, whatever it takes. If I pinned you right now, what would you use to get me off of you?”
So this session was somehow transforming into something much deeper than Reza had intended but maybe he sorta... needed it? AJ obviously wasn't very clued into whatever the hell was going on in Reza's head on a daily basis but something was just really resonating with him. It could also have been the start of a concussion from the headbutt to his face, but still. Thinking over the question, Reza shrugged. He could taste his own blood on his tongue. "Probably all three of those. Like you said, I'm a weapon, probably best to use what I have." For probably the first time, Reza let his fangs slip out because he decided they should, smiling at AJ. "But I guess a distraction could always work, too." Teeth back to their normal state -- this weird display of aggression and subsequently being snapped out of it-- had actually cleared his head. Maybe he sort of felt like a weapon. "Or emotional soft spots. Family. At least that shit would work on me like a charm."
Despite the appearance of the same fangs that had previously been used to bite AJ before, he actually didn’t mind seeing them make an appearance. “Perfect. As long as you’re not using them to bite me I don’t really give a damn what it takes to get away from a Slayer or whatever else tries to kill you.” AJ shook his head when Reza started talking about emotional soft spots, “Exactly. Everybody has a weakness. Family, loved ones, themselves. Whoever or whatever you’re fighting against always has a tick. You just have to find it.” AJ could preach self-control and remaining calm and collected all day, but when it boiled down to it, everyone had a breaking point. The trick was finding the opponent’s before they find yours. “Now let’s run through some more tricks.” And so the two fell into a rhythm. AJ would show Reza a new pin or have Reza pin AJ and him show a new way to get out of it. Then AJ would switch spots with Reza and make him work at it again and again until AJ was satisfied with Reza’s results. It worked easier this time around, with AJ not attempting to piss Reza off purposely like he had before. And as the two fell into this focused routine every now and again AJ would notice Reza’s eyes go red and his fangs slip out from his gums. It was unnerving sure, and the first few times AJ was sure Reza was going in for the vein. But as the two continued on AJ realized that they didn’t only show up right before Reza pounced at his prey, but instead during times of immense focus. So AJ began ignoring it, even appreciating it when it would happen because he knew that meant Reza was falling into the rhythm of it all. Maybe he wouldn’t suck too bad at this after all. When AJ was pretty sure he was going to fall asleep on the dirty cement floor of the warehouse, AJ realized that the two had been there far longer than he had planned and decided it was time to call it a night. “I get vampires are supposed to be nocturnal and all, but I have school in like,” he paused to grab his phone off of the floor and check the time, “three hours. I need to at least make an attempt to get some sleep.”
This was... liberating and amazing and finally, Reza had something to do with his evenings. Sure, there had been those very few occasions where he'd met Noah but the rest of his nights were making him braindead with boredom. This was not making him bored at all, stimulating his mind and brain and if his muscles worked like with a proper human, he would have woken up with soreness in the morning. Well, he'd probably have soreness from all the places AJ hit him or pushed his tendons too far but he liked feeling alive. He'd barely even noticed time passing until AJ's movements suddenly started to slow; at the same time he noticed just how dark the circles underneath his eyes were. Damn, he'd have been willing to continue this at least until the next morning. "Oh, uh... right. Yeah, of course." Dusting off his now very dirty hoodie, Reza gathered up his stuff before joining AJ at the exit. "So... thanks. A lot. This was... pretty fucking great. And useful." He smiled genuinely at AJ, offering up his hand for a handshake, surprised when he shook it. He'd been even more surprised when AJ had asked when they'd wanted to meet up next. It had been hard not to skip home with glee when he left the warehouse; and no one had even gotten bitten during this.
@rezathevamp
#c: reza#chatzy: reza#touchofchatzy#lesson in soap making#this is a reference apparently#Hera came up with it not me because I've never actually seen the movie
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Welcome to the VWC’s Weekly Bulletin, where we feature what’s new and exciting in Victuuri fanfic every week. Look here to get a glimpse at new works that have been posted in the fandom, updated WIP fics, works from our Collective authors, and what the admins have been reading this week.
New Works
Happy Easter, Yuuri! by nerdlife4eva: Victor surprises Yuuri with an American style Easter egg hunt, while Yuuri… Yuuri surprises Victor in a whole other way.
The Tsesarevich lives! (WIP) by mtothedestiel: An Anastasia AU. Victor is an orphan with no name, no family, and no memory of a time before he was ten years old. Could he really be the missing Nikiforov heir? An adventure across Europe with two conmen will lead him to the answer.
Hopeless Teenage Heart by kiaronna: Well-adjusted adults do not usually consider a tipsy teenage encounter in a bathroom to be the peak of their sexual experience, especially if that encounter was mostly chaste, closed mouth kisses and sighing into each others shoulders as they sat on the cool, real marble of the hotel’s sink basin. Yuuri might not be a well-adjusted adult.
Viktor and Yuuri meet in a high school debate competition, and then later as lawyers in New York. Some things change with time, but others never do.
Lawyer/debate kid AU, short one-shot.
Golden Boy by wildenessat221b: The rise of Viktor Nikiforov, the pedestals he's been put on, the people he's been and eventually, the person who makes it all worthwhile. It's a crazy ride, but he gets there.
You Set My Heart on Fire by whelvenwings: Everyone has a soulmate. And everyone sees any marks on their soulmate's skin appear on their own body; it starts with the first marks, drawn on by the midwife at birth. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a soulmate who replies, but Yuuri does, and he knows that he should feel fortunate - however, when he's trying to make a living as a small-time painter, and his soulmate is the famous artist, Viktor Nikiforov... well, it seems slightly less than fortunate. Yuuri can't help but feel self-conscious. So self-conscious, in fact, that he's never even shown Viktor his face, never let Viktor hear his voice. The only way that they've spoken is through ink, writing message after message to each other on their skin - but that's all about to change.
WIP Updates
the “real” victor nikiforov (WIP) by thishasbeencary: So, fine, maybe Yuuri's a little bored and lonely when he likes a dating profile claiming to be Viktor Nikiforov. And, maybe, he's a little pathetic when he gets excited when the account messages him almost immediately after. And, he's definitely stupid for falling in love with someone pretending to be his idol, but he can't help it. It's not like it's the real Viktor Nikiforov, anyway. He knows someone is catfishing him, but he still falls ridiculously in love.
The Return of the Little Piggy (WIP) by SASS_QUEEN: Once there was a boy named Katsuki Yuuri, who was shy, loved to make clothes, had adorable smiles and was fatter than the usual average human being. Unfortunately for him, apparently being chubby wasn't all that accepted in the norm back then. After numerous accounts of bullying, Katsuki Yuuri disappears for good.
Now years later, there is now a man only known as Y.K. Fashion tyrant, multimillionaire, professional cold-stare giver... and is trying his ultimate best to run away from his dark past, until a certain silver haired CEO of a certain rival company who went to the same certain college he went to back then decides to flat out entangle their fates together. Do both of them have anything to say for it? Sadly, no. No they don't. (Fashion & Couture AU)
Setting Sun (WIP) by LittleLostStar: Canon-divergent AU. In which Yuuri humiliatingly loses Hot Springs on Ice, Victor goes back to Russia to train Yurio, Yuuri is trapped in Japan with a sadistic replacement, and everyone is miserable—until the night that Yuuri posts some personally relevant song lyrics on Instagram, and wakes up the next morning to find that Victor has posted lyrics which seem to be a reply. Yuuri is sure he's just projecting his regretful wishes onto irrelevant social media posts, rather than Victor talking to him—until it happens again. And again. With the world watching their every move, Victor and Yuuri begin trading lyrics in a secret musical conversation; from playful rivalry to intense seduction, through bubblegum pop and pulse-pounding guitars, their virtual affair unfolds, hidden in plain sight. But the Grand Prix approaches, and one wrong move from Victor or Yuuri could destroy their careers. They'll just have to pretend they're not crazy about each other; how hard could it be?
fire on ice (WIP) by indianchai: Everyone in the world had some sort of affinity with one of the four elements; the proper term was elemental affinity– whether they were best suited with fire, water, earth, or air. All figure skaters were water users. Never in the history of the sport was there professional ice skater that didn't have water as their elemental affinity. Katsuki Yuri had a well-guarded secret that he couldn't have anyone find out about. aka, the one where Yuri could potentially decimate the rink every time he steps on ice, but no one can know. Especially Victor.
Re: Yuri Katsuki (WIP) by Ishxallxgood: A story about how Phichit and Viktor bonded over their most favorite topic; Yuri Katsuki. Phichit knows all the things.
New in #victuuriwriters
Katsuki Yuuri: Ascended Fanboy by Defiant-Dreams: “And wow, that was a beautiful Viktor—I mean, a beautiful Quad Flip by Viktor.” Yuuri visibly winces and he momentarily covers his face. Morooka glances at him in concern but Yuuri shrugs it off quickly and shakes his head as he continues, “Really, others try to do it, but no one does a Quad Flip quite as well or quite as clean as Viktor—if they even manage to land it.”
Or:
AU where Yuuri goes into commentating instead but he still has a Huge Gay Crush on Viktor Nikiforov and everyone can tell.
fall even deeper with you by missmichellebelle: Right at the start of the dock is a series of signs, prohibiting diving, warning against swimming without supervision, and absolutely forbidding entering the lake at night.
chaos theory (WIP) by thishasbeencary: "Spare no expense," had been Yakov's response to every phone call that Viktor made about the park, which was exactly why Viktor had worked to revive Jurassic Park into Jurassic World. The same idea, but bigger, and better. Bigger park, bigger attractions, bigger dinosaurs, better structures... So why is attendance dropping so much? Maybe the addition of a brand new genetically modified dinosaur would fix that problem.
(Meanwhile, Yuuri Katsuki has a pack of Velociraptors, and Yuri Plisetsky gets invited to bring a friend on an all expense paid trip to Viktor's park.)
And while they've built everything up so that things couldn't possibly go wrong, well... Life finds a way.
Come Fly with Me by Multiple_Universes: Phichit and Yuuri work for a charter airline, the CEO of which is Celestino. One day they have to fly legendary pilot Victor Nikiforov who saved 232 passengers by making a miraculous landing. Can Yuuri get a date from him before the plane lands? And what will it lead to?
Penicillin and Butterfly Band-Aids by doeinstinct: Yuuri is sure that he really isn't that sick. Viktor and their children aren't so sure.
Admin Picks
Aria: Stammi Vicino, Non Te Ne Andare (WIP) by exile_wrath: the tale of Yuuri Katsuki, who never ages and never dies and has lived frozen in time for centuries, and his attempts to keep his adopted son from killing the new guest.
Immortality au!! It’s so good :’)
Who Is Coach Yuri? by glitteryimagay: the aged-up au where three oblivious teenage boys are clueless when it comes to famous people in the skating world and don't realize their coach is actually just as famous as the rink owner
Ngl, identity reveals are my favorite yoi trope and this one had me in stitches. Absolutely hilarious!
(after)life and love by thishasbeencary: After Yuuri died, he woke up to a bright, flickering light above him. And, well, yeah, Yuuri had heard the phrase that after you die you "see the light", but he was almost positive that "the light" didn't refer to an overhead lamp. Especially not the overhead lamp in Viktor Nikiforov's bedroom. Wait, no, what? Maybe this was heaven. Except, if this was the afterlife, why was Viktor acting like he didn't exist? And why was Yuuri's afterlife some creepy stalker-dream of him following around Viktor Nikiforov?
This is such a cool soulmate au?? 10/10 would recommend
ivan da maria (WIP) by c0rnfl0wer: Viktor never minded when human civilization built up around him, or when other spirits began sharing the waters with him. He easily dominated every tradition that the centuries presented; that was what he minded. No one wants to be known for tragedy. No one wants to be bound to loneliness and despair forever. No one wants to drag their beloved one down. Everyone wants a happy ending, even if it isn’t in their nature.
This is a Russian/Slavic mythology AU where Victor is a rusalka who sees Yuuri in the village one day. I’d recommend this if you’re into historical/ethereal fairytales or enjoy a poetic writing style. I was enchanted by every word and I can’t wait for the next update! (And I promise that the MCD warning is not what it seems at all. Do not let that deter you from reading it!)
centripetal force by braveten: Victor speaks seven languages.(Physics isn't one of them.)Luckily, though, he ends up rooming with his antithesis: a shy, black-haired boy who just so happens to be a physics major.
Listen, I’m probably way behind because I just finished centripetal force this week, but it literally was so magical I can’t not recommend it! If you’re one of the rare fandom members like me who hasn’t experienced this beautiful, fun fic yet, then please read it. You won’t be disappointed at all!
#victuuriwriters#victuuri fic#fanfic#victuuri#fic rec#weekly bulletin#featuring a lot of collective writers this week!
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Typical (3/3): Rin “Freak” Hoshizora.
Summary: Nerds falling for cheerleaders who are dating jocks. Typical.
Word count: 2268.
a/n: so this is the end of the story. i hope yall liked it. the bullying warning and ooc warning are still up. enjoy.
[last chapter] [ff.net] [ao3]
Rin was under pressure. Against all odds, her two best friends were going to the dance with their crushes, and she was the only one left to ask hers. What if Hanayo didn’t want to go with her? She wondered. What if she couldn’t go because that Nishikino creep was taking her already? It was Thursday, after all. They were just one day away of it, and she felt like she had no chance whatsoever.
Rin loved Hanayo. She had loved her since she met her when they were kids. She had not realized it was love back then, though. But she never stopped wanting to protect her dear Kayochin. They always were around each other. But now Rin couldn’t even talk to her. They were still kind of friends, anyways. Hanayo was still as nice as ever and they talked every now and then when they had a chance. Sometimes they even hanged out after school. But since that Nishikino girl started obsessing over Hanayo, constantly following her around, Rin felt like they were close as strangers.
She didn’t understand why Nishikino hated her so much. At the start, Rin didn’t dislike her. She had talked to her once or twice as they had some classes together and everything seemed alright (even if she never answered her). For a moment, she even thought they would become great friends. She thought Nishikino just needed a little time to warm up to her. But when she pasted that ‘kick me’ sign on her back and gladly did so, Rin realized that maybe Nishikino didn’t have the same plans as her. And when she still kicked her even if she had no sign on her back, she realized they weren’t going to be friends. Again: she didn’t understand what she did to make her treat her like that. It made no sense. But there was nothing she could do about it.
She was in the bathroom when she ran into Hanayo.
“Kayochin!” She said, hugging her from behind. Hanayo squealed.
“Rin-chan!” She said “Don’t scare me like that!” Even if she was scolding her, she was smiling. Rin’s smile got bigger.
“How are you?” She asked.
“I’m good, thanks. How about you?”
“Surviving, nya. You know,” Rin placed her hand on the back of her neck. She had to ask her. “Rin’s been thinking lately, and was wondering if you wanted to hang out. It’s been a while, nya.” She didn’t quite ask what she was willing to, but if Hanayo agreed, at least it gave her more time to ask the actual question. And they would be alone, with no Nishikino girls around spoiling her plan.
“That’d be wonderful! See you after school, Rin-chan!” Hanayo said while leaving Rin and her crazily beating heart behind.
Rin didn’t know where to wait for Hanayo, so she decided to take a risk and wait around her locker. She arrived. And she was with Nishikino, who looked at her like she would rather see her dead than standing in front of her. Rin gulped.
“Hi Rin-chan! I’ll put my books inside my locker and we’ll go, okay?” Hanayo’s smile killed Rin every time. Her heart was out of control. She looked someplace else to calm down and saw Nishikino. She was frowning. She looked scary. Was she breathing through her mouth? Because it sounded like she was doing so. She must be very mad, Rin thought. She must want to kill me.
She was happy Hanayo didn’t take long on her locker. They left school and started talking about what they were up to. Hanayo said she was nervous because they had a big presentation to rehearse (since the last match of the season was coming up) and she wasn’t sure she was as good as the other cheerleaders. Rin assured her she was just as cute and talented as them, if not more. Meanwhile, Rin told her about the big project she was preparing with Umi for the science fair. She was really confident and was sure they were going to win yet one more time. Hanayo said it sounded great and that she was going to go cheer for her if she had time. She said she most likely had, and that if she didn’t, she would still try her hardest to go. Rin blushed. They stayed in silence.
They went to get an ice cream. They kept talking as they ate. Rin loved that about their friendship: every time they went out everything was still the same. They still laughed at the same old jokes and they still saddened at the same tragedies. She loved having someone like Hanayo in her life. Someone that would never change, someone that made her feel secure about herself and her future. Someone that would always remember the things they went through and someone that would always walk by her side.
“Remember that time when you fell just before you won the race, Rin-chan?” Hanayo said while eating some of her ice cream. She was giggling. Rin chuckled at the memory.
“Yeah! And you helped me get up, nya~! You were so nice back then! I mean- you’re still nice. I meant you were also nice back then.” Rin hated screwing things up because she wasn’t good with words and got a little too nervous when speaking.
“I know what you meant, Rin-chan. Don’t worry.” Hanayo smiled. Rin loved the fact that Hanayo always understood what she meant even if she was a mess.
They stayed in silence again. They didn’t mind it. Actually, it was nice. It wasn’t an uncomfortable nor awkward silence. It was a nice, lovely silence. Rin thought that meant they could keep speaking with no words.
“It had been a while since we last hanged out…” Hanayo muttered under her breath. Rin didn’t know if she had to answer. She decided to do so.
“Yeah. I like hanging out with you, Kayochin.” She added. Hanayo was serious, looking straight forward.
“I’m sorry.” She said. That took Rin for surprise.
“Sorry? Why are you sorry, Kayochin? You haven’t done anything wrong, nya.” She said, maybe speaking a little too fast.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been a good friend lately. It’s my fault we haven’t been able to hang out. I wish I could be a good and loyal friend, such as you.” She said playing with her hands. Rin didn’t want Hanayo to feel like that.
“You-you don’t have to be sorry, nya! You’ve always been a great friend and you will always be! You will always be Rin’s best friend, nya!” She said, taking courage and holding Hanayo’s hand. Hanayo looked at her.
“You’ll always be my best friend too.” She said, squeezing her hand. Rin blushed. Best friend, girlfriend… she didn’t mind being just a friend if Hanayo still loved her. If Hanayo was still by her side.
“I… I also wanted to ask you something. Actually, Rin wanted to hang out just to ask you this… Would you go to the dance with Rin? I know it’s really late but…” Hanayo interrupted her.
“I would! I would, Rin-chan!” She said, smiling and hugging her. Rin was so happy she couldn’t even believe it. She was sure that she was dreaming or something. That that couldn’t be real.
“You- Are you serious? Rin thought that Nishikino would…” She couldn’t finish the phrase. Hanayo was smiling, looking at her.
“She… she didn’t ask me.” She said. And for the first time in her life, Rin felt like she was a winner. An actual winner.
The next day Rin woke up with a huge, dorky smile on her face. She put on her glasses and sighed happily, placing her head over her hands. She had been like that since yesterday, when Hanayo said she would go to the dance with her. She felt like she was in heaven. When she walked, she felt like she was floating. Feeling like that, she walked to school, thinking of how good life was and how it couldn’t get any better than that.
She arrived at school and got the things she needed out of her locker. As she walked to the science club clubroom, she ran to Nozomi (who was with Kotori at Kotori’s locker). She said hi to them and kept on walking. She was about to arrive to her destination and tell Umi what happened when someone punched the back of her head, making her fall and hit her face against the ground. She felt her nose bleed.
She looked back. There was Nishikino, with Ayase and Yazawa by her sides.
“I was going to ask her out today, freak!” Nishikino exclaimed, while leaning down and punching her in the face. Rin’s head hit the ground again. Nishikino was about to hit her again when Rin heard Umi’s voice.
“Why? To be cool? To pretend to be something you’re not?” She had been braver lately, with Honoka by her side. Nishikino death glared her.
“You shut up, you fucking nerd!” Ayase screamed, while pointing at her. “You have no say in this! You have no say in anything, actually! You’re just some fucking nerd that thinks she can win the girl! But this isn’t a fairytale, Sonoda. This is real life, and we all know the princess wont end up with the pauper! So just shut the hell up for once!” Ayase seemed to be as mad or even more than Nishikino. She seemed desperate.
“I-I won’t. This is enough.” Umi stated. Ayase smiled.
“You wanna fight it out, then?” She asked. Rin saw Umi hesitate, but she took her glasses off and gave them to Honoka, who didn’t seem too happy with the situation. She was actually asking Umi not to fight. But the decision had been taken.
“I’ll do it.” She said. They both ran to each other. Umi was the first to punch. She punched Ayase on the nose. It started bleeding. Umi looked at her hand like she didn’t understand she had been able to do that.
“No one makes me bleed!” Ayase screamed while punching Umi on the chin.
A lot of people were surrounding them now. They kept on fighting. Ayase was destroying Umi. Rin looked at Nishikino, who was looking at her friend.
“Why didn’t you ask her out to the dance, nya?” Rin couldn’t help but ask. She was curious. Nishikino glared at her.
“I…” For a moment, she knew, she was sure Nishikino was going to give her a honest answer. Her eyes were filled with melancholy. Rin waited for it while trying to stand up. Nishikino’s look turned into stone again. “I have nothing to explain to you, you freak!” She said, while taking Rin’s collar and raising her. She threw her against the wall. Rin fell and wondered what the answer was, and how come Nishikino was so strong. It was a shame she didn’t remember the old saying: curiosity killed the cat.
Kotori and Nozomi arrived. Nishikino was getting closer to Rin, slowly, like a panther around her prey. Rin saw Kotori’s worried look and Nozomi jumping over Nico. Nishikino punched her in the stomach.
“Stop!” Kotori screamed. Now, Nico was choking Nozomi in between her arm and her body. Her glasses were on the ground, broken. Nishikino kept hitting Rin. She tried to get away. Rin didn’t want to hit anyone. She didn’t want violence to be the solution.
“You’re killing her!” She felt like Honoka was screaming kilometers away from her. She saw a blurry image: Ayase hitting Umi nonstop, while Honoka tried to stop her. Umi didn’t seem to notice any of this. Rin felt worried.
Nishikino squeezed her face in between her hands. Rin could barely look at her. She felt too much pain, her eyes were teary and her glasses had fallen. She hoped they weren’t broken.
“You don’t deserve her. You’re a freak. An outcast. You should just…” Rin knew what she was going to say. ‘You should just die’. She had heard that a million times. But Nishikino couldn’t finish the sentence: Hanayo stopped her with a slap.
Everything went to silence. All of the girls looked at Nishikino and Hanayo. Nishikino had a red mark on her cheek. Hanayo’s hand. Hanayo had teary eyes.
“You are a monster.” She stated. Then, she looked at Ayase and Yazawa, who had stopped torturing their victims. “You are all monsters!” She exclaimed. Her voice was broken. They all looked at each other and ran away. In the end, they were cowards. Rin tried to smile as Hanayo approached her.
“Rin-chan, are you okay?” She asked. “I-I mean, of course you’re not. I’ll take you to the infirmary. You’re so strong, Rin-chan. So strong.” Hanayo said, getting closer to her. Rin thought she was an angel. And when Hanayo kissed her, she felt like everything was alright. She felt like everything was going to be just alright.
The girls went to the dance. With some bruises and bandages, but they went. And they had a great time. The time of their lives. They started dating the girls that they took shortly after that. And no one bullied them again. Never again.
As for their bullies, they learnt the lesson. Ayase never realized the feelings she had for Umi, Yazawa wondered everyday what would have happened if she had told Nozomi how much she loved her when she left and if things would have been different and Nishikino could never recover from the heartbreak that Hanayo caused her. But that’s another story. Another typical story.
#so it ends#again: i hope yall liked it#i'm gonna keep making stories with some chapters#but ok time to tag bc i have nothing to lose:#rin hoshizora#hanayo koizumi#maki nishikino#rinpana#love live#sailor tries to write
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