#i spent way too much time on this and it’s 100% self love tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

asimplearchivist · 9 months

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‘ 𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓵 𝓶𝔂 𝓿𝓸𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓮 . ’

𝐂𝐇. 𝐈 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

[𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓼𝓽'𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽] [ 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 ] AO3 | SPOTIFY | PINTEREST summary ☾ ⤏ steven, unbeknownst to him, meets the love of his life at one of its lowest points. pairing(s) ☽ steven grant/reader word count ☾ 15.7k a/n ☽ [gif credit] ⤏ aka my personal love letter to one steven grant (and myself, because I want to be loved like I love just once). ⤏ i am going to be completely honest on this one, guys: this is a borderline self-insert fic that is 100% self-indulgent on my part bc i have felt like shit the last two months and want to treat myself. ⤏ i kept it as a reader-insert because a) some people (including myself) enjoy experiencing different ‘pov’s of reader-inserts, per se; b) it’s easier to be kinder to and romanticize myself when it’s ‘not me’; and c) i feel that it’s still vague/inclusive enough to be counted as a general reader-insert versus labeling it strictly as a self-insert/original character. i really only describe personality traits and the reader being petite, really (bc nothing comforts my 5’0” ass more than knowing i would actually be able to kiss the boys without craning my neck all the way back tbh). i use a few southern colloquialisms, too, just fyi. :) ⤏ typical moon knight fanfic disclaimer: I don’t claim to know very much about did beyond what I’ve gleaned from both the show, the various meta posts I’ve read on tumblr, and from other fanfics themselves, so please forgive and correct me on any glaring discrepancies/issues I may have presented here (or link me any posts that discuss more accurate representations of did, perhaps—that’d be greatly appreciated). some of the terminology/technicalities escape me. I tried my best to get their voices and characterizations just right, and I sincerely hope I succeeded bc they’re very special to me. ☽ MASTERPOST ☾ ☾ ☥ ⤏ NEXT CHAPTER ☽

The first time Steven met you, it was strictly by happenstance.

He had always considered himself a man with many friends. Although his routine was relatively simple compared to other Londoners who thrived in social settings and spent all of their free time anywhere but home to mingle and chase tail, he had familiar faces he saw frequently. He committed their names to memory when they’d give them off-handedly, he made a point to speak to them in passing even if he or they were otherwise occupied, and he kept a mental list composed of all the details he was able to glean strictly from observation when they didn’t readily volunteer the information.

Perhaps it was a little silly. All lot of them had trouble remembering him, sure, but he couldn’t hold it against them—tons of people had trouble keeping track of faces and people. Sure, JB never quite got his name right even after Steven had worked at the museum for a couple of months by now, but he was a busy man monitoring the security cameras all day long and stayed distracted (with his infatuation with otters, no less—as endearing of a trait as any for someone with a secret soft side). Donna stayed in a tizzy, always worked up over something beyond her control (Steven couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be dealing with the higher-ups trying to meet goals and attempting to exceed them). He didn’t really dislike them for it, even if it had grown rather grating as of late. (Even if it would only take them both a moment to look at his conveniently given and placed nametag.)

Crowley didn’t talk much, all part of the gig, so Steven didn’t hold their one-sided conversations against him, either. The gentleman with the broom cart (whose name Steven never had managed to catch, as gruff as he was) seemed only to ever respond with grunts. The security guards, the tour guides, the usual suspects on the morning and night bus rides…Steven interacted with them all, and they had enough good graces to acknowledge it most of the time.

Over time, however, as his dreams (or perhaps more aptly named nightmares) grew more vivid and more bizarre, as he seemed to lose track of time more and more (how exactly does one manage to miss an entire weekend when one isn’t a blackout drunk?), and as Steven’s anxiety led him into taking more and more precautions to make sure his self-diagnosed sleepwalking disorder didn’t strand him on the other side of London (again), it became more readily apparent that those people with whom he took such care to converse did not seem particularly inclined to return the favor. Sure, he’d accidentally nodded off a few times leaning on the other passengers in the morning bus, ran a little late at times getting to the museum (much to Donna’s ever-increasing ire), and maybe got a little carried away with his nattering when he got invested in something he was excited to share information about, but…would it really kill someone just to respond long enough to reassure him that he wasn’t virtually invisible?

It was one such morning after he overslept, convinced he was late, and worked himself into a right and proper state trying to get to the museum on time that he realized that it was, in fact, Sunday, not Saturday. Much to his bewilderment but proven by his phone, the museum stood barren and closed, doors locked and lights off. He stood at the entrance staring at his dumbfounded expression in the glass for a good five minutes, thoughts racing as he tried to recall anything about the previous day. There was no way he slept an entire day, right? He hadn’t been staying up too late trying to manage his disorder, even if he had been running a little tired lately.

His distress was punctuated by a fat, chilly droplet landing right on his nose. The early spring weather was unseasonably cold this year, leading to an abnormally wet season (as if rain could ever be abnormal in London, but the meteorologists remained convinced), and within seconds of Steven turning and trotting down the steps the skies parted and released their torrential downpour as if just to spite him specifically. Everyone else in the immediate vicinity, if they weren’t holed up in their cars or the myriad establishments bordering the museum district, already had their umbrellas up to shield themselves from the frigid onslaught, ambling along and circumnavigating the puddles lingering from the storm the night before..

Steven shrank into his coat, tugging the collar up and over his head as best he could as he crossed the street and aimed for the first building he saw with its neon, ivory OPEN sign glowing against the gloom—on the corner directly across from the museum entrance. The door was heavy, the handle cold enough he was surprised his palm didn’t stick to it, but he managed to pry it open and tumble inside.

A few people glanced up from their tables to give him a range of skeptical to humored looks before going about their business. Steven hedged to the side of the door in case someone else came in, dripping onto the old hardwood with no small amount of regret.

It was a coffee shop. Comfortingly warm against his numb face, he basked in the scents of espresso and sweets permeating the place. His attention was caught by the bookshelves on the wall to his right, and he was entranced—all until a barista slipped out from the kitchen and addressed him with a croon. “Oh, goodness, look like the weather caught you!”

Steven almost accidentally ignored you thinking that you were talking to someone else (for so rarely did someone speak to him in a tone that wasn’t irritated or dismissive). After his cursory glance in your direction, he did a double-take, realizing you were looking right at him.

“Yeah, I—looked at the forecast wrong, methinks!” he responded sheepishly (and he had—he’d been expecting Saturday’s overcast mist, not Sunday’s shower). “I’m makin’ a right mess, aren’t I? I should probably go before I warp the stain—”

“No! No, just wait a second.” You raised a placating palm before dipping below sight behind the counter. You emerged and rounded the corner next to the display case holding a towel, walking right up to him and offering it to him with a sympathetic smile. “I can’t count the number of times I thought I could beat Mother Nature,” you joked. “It sucks that it’s been so cold on top of it. I’m surprised I haven’t gotten sick.”

Steven accepted it graciously, muttering his earnest thanks as he went about mopping up his sopping curls. Once he’d wiped all the rain he could off of him, he handed it back to you. “Hope I don’t get one, neither,” he responded. “It just wouldn’t do to catch cold in the middle of all this, would it? No.”

You chuckled a bit, eyes glittering with mirth. “Maybe it’ll help if I get you something hot to drink?”

Steven glanced at the menu hanging on the wall behind the counter, eyes rounding a little at the prices. He’d overspent on books again after payday, so he was having to be a bit more frugal this week than usual. “Oh, no, don’t go to the trouble, I’ll just call a cab and get a ride home before it gets too bad.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” you assured him, wringing the towel between your hands. You hesitated only a heartbeat before you leaned in a little closer, smile turning a bit bashful. “I’ll make it on the house, how’s that sound?”

Steven normally considered himself one to give where charity was concerned, but he had to admit that the sound of something warm on his urgently empty stomach was divine at the moment. He cleared his throat, glancing towards the other customers still wrapped up in their own little worlds. “No, I couldn’t—wouldn’t want anyone jealous that they’re not gettin’ the special treatment, you know.”

“It can be our little secret,” you offered quietly, winking conspiratorially at him.

He blinked, heat creeping up into his face. “Oh, well. If you insist, then…just this once?”

“All right.” Your smile lit up your entire face, and you headed back behind the counter to deposit the towel in an unseen hamper.

Steven followed, training his eyes on the menu—the standard fare was reasonable, with alternative options for dietary restrictions. A lot of the custom concoctions did seem lovely, and he was a tad surprised to discover that they served breakfast and lunch, also—with vegan options, most notably. “Wow, I never even knew this place existed. I must’ve been walkin’ right by it this whole time.”

“Do you work at the museum?” you inquired, folding your arms over the counter and propping your chin up in your palm.

“I do, actually,” he beamed, though it was dashed a tad with his next confession. “I want to be a tour guide one day—you know, I’ve been studyin’ up for it and all—but they’ve got me in the gift shop. For now! They said they’d move me up with a new position becomes available.” They said that they would consider him for the role, but Steven clung to his hope that they’d soon realize how bloody good he’d be at it, as hard as he’d been working for it for so long.

“You always have to start somewhere,” you replied warmly. You gestured to the shop around you. “This is just to hold me over ‘til I’m finished up.”

“Are you a transfer student?” Steven asked.

Your brow rose slightly, but your smile didn’t waver. “How observant. Most people ask me how I got lost on this side of the pond.”

“It isn’t often I see Americans anywhere but in the more touristy spots,” he agreed, “but the university is quite prestigious. You must be very academically successful if you landed a transfer scholarship like that.”

“It took a lot of work,” you admitted, “but it’s been worth it. I never thought I’d do anything like this, and I would’ve laughed at you a couple of years ago if you’d told me I’d move this far away from home. I’ve never really been the traveling type, but I’m so grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to do so.”

“What are you studyin’?” Steven inquired. An English major, perhaps—you struck him as the literary type with your articulation, despite your soft, southern drawl.

“Oh.” Your face darkened and you fiddled with the hem of your sweatshirt—dark gray, warm flannel, with a silver astronomical design embroidered into the front. “Well. I went to a university back home and got a degree in writing—” Nailed it! “—but I was notified at graduation that I qualified for this so I thought why not? It’s a bit self-indulgent, really, as I’ve always been a history nut, but I’m, um…” You reached up and scratched the nape of your neck, glancing away as though embarrassed. “...focusing on Egyptology?”

Steven’s brows shot halfway up his forehead. “No kiddin’!”

“Nope,” you confessed, a bit sheepish. “I picked up a book with pictures of King Tutankhamun’s treasures when I was three and I’ve been in love with it since. Maybe it’s a little niche, but it makes me happy—I’m taking other history classes, too, so I’ll end up with an Ancient History major with a minor in Egyptology—that’s just my main focus since I always wanted to be an Egyptologist when I was little. I don’t know that I could ever stand the heat, though, so I’m happy with writing in the comfort of my own home.”

“No, that’s great!” he raved, grinning from ear to ear. “I’m a bit of a history buff meself! The museum has a huge Egyptology exhibit coming up next month, so I’ve been brushin’ up on it all. You know, in case I get to audition.”

“Oh, yeah?” you tried, emerging from your shell just a bit. “Do you have a favorite period?”

“New Kingdom, definitely,” he said immediately. His heart was thrumming, and he was trying (in vain) to contain at least the majority of his enthusiasm. “There’s just so much material to go through. All the texts recovered from Deir el-Medina fascinate me to no end!”

“Yeah, Paneb was a right bastard,” you joked. “He had the whole town stirred up all the time. But we’re not going to talk about Ea-Nasir.”

“Oh, yeah—imagine keepin’ all your hate mail for posterity,” he returned, strumming his fingers against the inside of his sleeves. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m an Old Kingdom gal,” you said with a chuckle. “Pepi II’s letter about the pygmy won me over. Not to mention all the drama with Teti’s assassination. The workmen’s village at Giza? Oh, how could I pick one thing?”

Finally! Finally, it felt like Steven was talking to someone that spoke his language!

“It’s really hard to, isn’t it?” His stomach was starting to grumble. He cleared his throat, tamping down his anticipation just enough to concentrate on the matter at hand. He glanced up at the menu again, a little remiss with some of the unfamiliar choices—most of those displayed were coffee, but he’d been trying to curb himself off of it in favor of cutting out caffeine altogether for a better sleep schedule. “I, um…sorry, got a little sidetracked there. What would you recommend that’s decaf?”

“Oh, I love chai,” you told him. “Most of the teas we carry are decaf, though we do have decaf coffee, too. We’ve got all the usuals like chamomile, mint, Earl Grey…” You tilted your head slightly. “I’ve been avoiding caffeine since I was a teenager—it makes me antsy.”

“How do you normally take your chai?” he queried, curious.

“As an iced latte,” you said. “Cold foam, cinnamon, whole milk. I like it warm, too, especially this time of year, but there’s something about it iced that I can’t seem to part from—maybe that’s the southern upbringing in me.” You gestured to the equipment behind you. “Would you like to try it?”

“Yeah, sure! But with oat milk, please?”

“You’ve got it, darlin’,” you beamed, and set to work immediately. “I usually drink a small since it’s a bit sweet, that okay?”

“Certainly.”

Never would Steven have thought that he’d find such a deeply kindred soul a stone’s throw away from his workplace he’d never even noticed before today. He had to confess that he was charmed by you almost instantly. It had been a while since he’d met someone so engaging and open—not to mention generous and drop-dead gorgeous to boot! Ironic, really, that the foreigner was treating him more kindly than his native kinsmen. What did the Americans say about southern hospitality?

“Thank you so much,” he said when you returned with the cup and set it in front of him. “It looks great!”

“Go ahead and try it,” you suggested, “and if you don’t like it, I’ll replace it for you with something else.”

Steven had absolutely no intention of telling you to your face that he disliked your favorite beverage, even if he did decide it wasn’t to his taste—much less make you go out of your way to make him another free drink. But as he sipped the heady, sweet mixture the spices melted over his tongue. Despite being served cold, the flavors warmed his mouth and settled cozily into his belly.

“Oh,” he suspired, licking the foam from his lips, “that’s lovely. You’ve won a convert.”

Your smile was nearly blinding with delight. “I’m glad! It’s not for everyone, certainly, but those who do like it always seem to love it. No in between, I guess.”

Steven resisted the urge to suck the entire thing down, folding it between his hands instead as he committed more details of your appearance to memory. Your black apron was a bit big for your frame, dwarfing you a bit, but your sweatshirt did, too—your jeans were well-fitted but not snug. You were wearing very little makeup, just a touch around the eyes, but it emphasized your lashes like a fawn’s. While comfortable, if a bit plain, your ensemble made you seem like the epitome of homey.

“How long have you lived in London?” he asked after another delightful sip.

“Since the start of spring semester,” you said. “It was a big adjustment to show up at the tail end of winter, but I think I’ve gotten the hang of it now for the most part. I still get lost occasionally, but that’s why Google Maps was invented. I’d be up a creek without a paddle without it.” You leaned against the counter again, bracing yourself on the stained surface and gazing up at him as if there existed no other person in the world. “I live right next to the campus, but I work here to get away even though my scholarships carry most of my bills and fees. Ironic, though, ‘cause I don’t exactly consider myself a socialite.”

“You’ve fooled me,” he said with a chuckle. “Bit odd bein’ an ambivert, yeah?”

“I really only talk a lot when I get excited or when I’m with people I’m comfortable being around,” you confessed shyly. “I’ve been told I talk too much about stuff nobody really cares about, so I try not to bother anyone.”

“Now who on earth would have gone and told you that?” he pressed, heart aching all the while. How many times had he been told the very same thing, sometimes with less polite wording?

“Oh, not exactly like that,” you rectified in a hurry, “it’s just…you can tell, you know? When someone isn’t really paying attention to anything you’re saying. I usually get interrupted anyway, so sometimes I find it easier just to keep quiet.” Your skin darkened again, and cleared your throat as you dipped your face to conceal it with a hand. “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I went into all that. See? Rambling too much—words got away from me.”

It was like looking into a mirror—so much so that Steven almost felt a bit of deja-vu.

“No, don’t be sorry,” he said softly. “I understand completely—really, I do. Better than you might think.”

You raised your gaze back up to him, and he understood at once why the philosophers and poets both waxed so romantic on the concept of windows to the soul. He could see your tenderness, your diffidence, your sincerity all there in your jewel-like eyes.

“People talkin’ over you all the time,” he continued with a low murmur, looking down at the cup when the intensity of your stare grew too much—just like looking directly into the sun, “actin’ like you’re invisible or somethin’. Gets frustratin’, yeah? Couldn’t even bother to act like you’re there, could they? No. Seems like too much to ask.”

“Yeah,” you said somberly, but when Steven dared a glance up at you, your expression was one of complete understanding. Never before had he felt so seen. “It doesn’t help when you’re really not a people person to begin with.”

And now that Steven considered it more deeply, he realized that you were right—why did he prefer to stay home rather than go out? Keeping company with a goldfish certainly wasn’t an extrovert’s definition of a good time. Hell, the only reason he really went out of his way to engage with those on the fringes of his daily routine was because he felt it was rude not to because of constant exposure, not because he was itching to have the conversations themselves. He worried constantly that he’d overshare or annoy people, when most wouldn’t even think of it.

He let out a soft laugh, pressing a palm across his forehead.

You quirked a brow, your expression perking up just a bit at the sound. “What?”

“I just realized I’m not really a people person, either,” he said, shaking his head. “Thought all this time everyone else was just awkward at social interaction.”

“Oh,” you chuckled, and there was that ephemeral sparkle of mirth back in your eyes. “Well. Better late than never, right?”

“Right.” He paused, then set the drink on the counter to fish around in his pocket for his wallet. “Here, since you’ve been an absolute angel—”

“Oh, no, please,” you said, waving your palms at him in an attempt to dissuade him, “it was my pleasure. Finding someone else as big of a nerd about Ancient Egypt was tip enough, thank you. You’ve made my whole day.”

And even though his morning thus far had been an utter disaster, Steven believed that you had made his entire day, too.

“Well, all right.” He pointed a finger at you with a wry, toothy grin. “But next time you won’t be able to talk me out of it.”

“Next time?” you echoed, and the unadulterated hope in your eyes made his heart clench.

“Yeah,” he said, “where else will I be able to order the ambrosia of the gods? And nerd out about ancient civilizations? Not all baristas carry a double-edged sword like you do.”

You bit your lip, rolled the hem of your sleeve between your fingertips, and looked down and away. “Oh, stop it. It’s really just a hobby.” You gave him another cheeky smile. “But, if it would make a difference to you, since you seem the type…” You leaned in across the counter, and Steven found himself copying the action as though you had magnetized him. “...there’s a bookstore upstairs, too.”

Oh, bloody Nora, as if you weren’t already perfect enough.

Read the rest of the chapter here! :)

#fisara's codices #fanfiction #moon knight #steven grant #reader insert #steven grant/reader #steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #moon knight x reader #moon knight fanfiction #steven grant fluff #steven grant fanfiction

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gyunglitter · 5 months

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introducing𓏧

the losers club !!

summary: just you dicking around with txt college!au besties

warnings: doja cat fandom slander, mentions of soobin's feet, mentions of bullying, cursing

contrary to your group’s self-appointed nickname, you guys are actually well known (and liked!) on campus!! :D

you guys have NO IDEA as to how so many people on campus grew to like you and want to hang out with you

especially since you guys had a hard time in school before

but woohoo to not peaking in high school right?!

tbh, you guys are testaments to that second round of puberty nobody talks about

ya know, the glow up that happens after you graduate high school and get away from all the pricks you were forced to see everyday?

yup, you and your losers are finally thriving

besides when you’re dying bc of all your classes and tests

but yeah

while other ppl really like your group’s personalities

YOU GUYS ARE SUPER HOT TOO🤭

i mean, just look at y’all!

[choi yeonjun]-

‘99 liner//junior

took a gap year before getting dragged back to go to school so he could learn to be a normal human being

did someone say IT BOY??

literally the girls and the gays are in love with this man

dance major and student athlete who unironically does zumba every saturday morning

had no social life in high school because kid was NEVER there

he was a bored only child, while his neglectful parents were filthy rich and figured their kid could do whatever he wanted to entertain himself

so what he wanted, they got it—including vacations

with him being gone so much, his classmates always wondered who this choi yeonjun guy was and how he could miss so much school while still passing

though the intrigue kind of stopped when he pulled up to school with the ugliest shoes to walk south korea

him and his obnoxious shoes gave a lot of people the ick :(

but never fear, yeonjun and his footwear are just ahead of their time!

(you can't say they are in quite yet, but they probably will come around some day!!)

yeonjun typically spent his days doing sports, travelling, and running away from talent scouts lmao

no idol life for him in THIS lifetime

but as life would have it, the man is too scrumptious to be out of the spotlight for too long

bc he became a model not too long after college started due to a school project photoshoot went viral on twitter!!

his twitter is a minefield while he reserves his insta for the wholesome content :)

[choi soobin]-

‘00 liner//junior

glue of the group despite insisting how much he HATES y’all

broadcast and entertainment major so he can get into the entertainment industry and get the bts of moviemaking!!

(really just wants to meet all of his favorite voice actors tbh)

known for being the Ultimate Boyfriend™ despite never actually being in a relationship lololol

in middle school he got into anime, which was COMPLETELY normal! he actually made a ton of friends that way!!

at least until one of his friends came over and saw his body pillow collection

yikes :/

unfortunately didn’t take long at all for the whole school to find out, and then they never let it go

all the way up until he graduated high school :(((

it’s okay tho!

he had tons of online friends from going to conventions and stuff!!

but making irl friends was definitely hard for him when he got to college

[choi beomgyu]-

01’ liner//sophomore

absolute MENACE to your little society

he’s the guy who gets whoever is in his company to unironically admit “last night was a movie”

music major studying composition while playing guitar in a band

the girlies are FAWNING

ppl are so in love with him because he’s so pretty

but then the kid opens his mouth :/

he was the most extroverted kid

which worked perfectly bc with his good looks and personality, everyone wanted to be his friend!! :D

but with high school, friends, and all his 100 extracurriculars

kid burned out by senior year :(

his last year of school, he totally ghosted his friends and stayed inside all day playing video games

(he actually got diamond 1 on LoL, boy is nothing if not determined)

eventually rumors went around that he got dropped and turned into a social outcast

but he didn’t really care since he was fine with rotting away the rest of the school year

by the time he got to college, he wanted nothing to do with things that would suck his already nonexistent energy

[kang taehyun]-

02’ liner//freshman

the one that always has the braincell

and really wishes he didn’t so he could escape yall

stem major for engineering, which is just another one of his controversial choices (being second only to befriending yall)

everyone on campus knows him as that one guy you go to when you need the answers to your homework or your final

yeah, he’s selling the test answers on the black market :P

what? he’s in DEBT

he never gets suspected tho bc he alrdy knows all the answers, so why would he be involved with that??

but the rest of the town?

well, the town knows him as terry

mans is always seen at the gym and the club pulling without even trying

this is TOTALLY contrasting to his high school life, where he literally only gave his time of day to his studies

mans did not have TIME to hang out with anybody

bc of this, he became a bit of an easy target to the one-dimensional jocks that tried to use him to get them better grades :(

he was a small kid, so he got picked on and tossed around a lot :(((

it’s okay, since he’s buffer than them now!! >:)

[huening kai]-

‘02 liner//freshman

maknae that’s more mature than ALL OF YOU

he acts like he isn’t, but kid grew up a MIDDLE CHILD between TWO SISTERS

they’d managed to craft the most perfect and thoughtful angel to grace south korea

except for his demonic laugh :/

but YOU GUYS LOVE IT!!

he’s coasting through college, wishing he could tell you what major he was

but boy is constantly changing it LMAO

he just loves learning about different subjects!!

not to mention he’s good at most things he tries

so he makes tons of friends!!

but he didn’t always :(

from middle to high school, he was THE band kid

he could play the guitar, percussion, trombone, and piccolo!!

so when little kai walked home in his minecraft hoodie carrying his giant instrument case

8/10 times kid would get pelted by eggs or something on the way home

good thing he had his trombone case to shield him!! :D

kai would also be insanely awkward and didn’t have good icebreakers besides his plushie collection

too bad that didn’t become socially acceptable for another few years

[y/l/n y/n]-

‘01 liner//sophomore

ladies and gentlemen i give you

her

the group's resident photographer, despite the fact that you're SO HOT

you are beauty

you are grace

well, you are now

high school: not so much

you were LOSER #1 girlie ://

you were just a little slow to pick up on a lot of social cues and what was "cool" or not, making you prone to awkward situations and bullying

for example: pinky promises and saying “on god” was quirky and acceptable, but spit shakes were not

neither were bowl cuts

or pretending to drown at the school pool and see how everyone would react

like i said, you were behind on a lot

but what took you the longest to learn—the people you thought were your friends were no longer laughing with you and your unfortunately timed puns, but at you (and your unfortunately timed puns) :(((

but you digress, because your overactive imagination worked to your advantage of getting clout and a full ride scholarship!!

you’re an art major with a minor in photography, winning a national photography contest that got the attention of your college

your genius piece of "different kinds of falls in public", where you purposefully tripped people walking by you and taking photos of them, had won the heart of the public and the school board over to the point of them begging to have you!

your parents and teachers just wished you had the same genius outside of cameras--as you slacked off in every other academic aspect

notes: enjoy me being unfunny but having a blast anyway! feel free to send in asks/requests regarding this fic. can't guarantee i'll respond to it, but i'd love to see what you guys think/want!

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heartshapedbubble · 1 year

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Okay, I am a little bit nervous, hope that this request won't make you uncomfortable!

Antonio, Luchino (Hunter, please) and Alva with a S/O who is engaged in equestrian sports? Like, they have their own horse, equipment and even whip!

Thank you if you'll accept, and I understand if you'll decline!

no worries nonnie!! here u go<3

antonio paganini, luchino diruse and alva lorenz with an s/o engaged in equestrian sports🎻🦎🌩

antonio paganini🎻

equestrian sports, huh?

he saw his fair share of noblemen riding their well groomed stallions and duchesses feeding their ponies sugar cubes, yet he didn't really pay much attention to it

upon mentioning it for the first time he's gonna be like 🤨 immediately associating it with the nobles and their pretentious version of the sport, only to realize it isn't as black-and-white as he made it out to be

i wouldn't really call tonio a person who's rlly good with animals tbh

like? it isn't that he hates animals, in fact it's quite the opposite, he just isn't made for taking care of them

will still bring some apples or carrots for your horse(s) okok‼️

although he mostly leaves you at peace while you do horseriding, considering it your way of relaxing and calming yourself, sometimes he'll come by the fence and watch you

will help you get on your horse if needed and assist you as much as he can with equipment and getting ready!

also thinks you look really hot attractive in your equestrian uniform ,, he's gonna discreetly whisper it into your ear as he helps you mount your horse and enjoy watching you turn red every time you two make eye contact as you ride... hehe.....

luchino diruse🦎

aight listen this man is a herpetologist. he spent minimum 4 years inspecting scaly little creatures. petite marble eyed beasts, if you will. everything but a four legged man sized mammal

not to mention horses are scared of him considering how HUGE he is (which makes him sad :c)

he has no knowledge on horses or anything horse-related but he's more than willing to drop his reptile studies for some time

he finds them cute tho c:

he's a man who's naturally brimming with curiosity, if he finds something interesting enough he's going to pull an all nighter just to research it

at this point his initially small research on equestrian sports & horses became a little hyperfix of his just bc of you <3

he would definetly sprinkle in some horse biology/anatomy facts as you two spend time near the stables

enjoys watching you ride around as he takes notes

100% would be interested in helping you feed your horse and groom it!!

alva lorenz🌩

alva is (suprisingly... or not?) a big fan of animals, and horses just happen to be one of his favourite ones

he finds them so majestic and graceful, yet most horses run away from him since his presence is quite intimidating (especially considering his body is quite literally a fully-charged electrical conductor) and throws them off guard

if you get lucky and your horse doesn't run away the second he gets near he'd gladly pet it if you let him!!!

he is NOT riding them though. no way in hell he's too tall + he'd just make the horses even more nervous

so he's just going to stay aside and enjoy watching you spend your time doing what you love :))

you'll find him visiting the stable(s) self-initiatively, bringing in snacks for them and such !!! he can't help it ok !!!

this man often has an unreal urge to baby you (not in an infantilizing way or something - he just does stuff for you which you could easily do yourself, it's kind of his love language) he's going to insist on buttoning up your blazer and helping you mount the horse, doing such mundane activities with/for you makes him feel better and more present in your life

here and there you'll find him silently inspecting your equipment, slowly twirling and folding the whip and touching the leather surface of the saddle

he never goes with you when you have training, but as you ride you'll often catch a glimpse of him watching you train from the shadows

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luvrlixie · 2 years

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STARLIGHT

kim seungmin x gn!reader. pure fluff- hehe let's just pretend I didn't disappear for months 😋 but I saw skz in concert the other night and I still haven't recovered. seungmin was so so adorable and I feel like I don't see enough content for him so I decided to write some seungmin fluff ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ this is pretty self indulgent tbh but I hope you all enjoy!

it was late at night when seungmin stumbled into your shared bedroom. despite his best efforts to stay quiet, your head lifted from the pillows as soon as the door closed behind him.

fighting through your sleepy fog filled brain, you waited for your eyes to adjust to the dark and you were able to make out the shape of your boyfriend standing in front of the door. immediately without even having to think, you whined and reached both arms out for him. your actions earned you a quiet chuckle from your boyfriend who had now crossed the room to place a soft kiss on your forehead.

"let me get changed first, baby." he mumbled before walking back to the other side of the room towards the closet.

late night practices were nothing new, it was just something that came with being an idol. and yet, despite all the nights you were forced to do it, sleeping alone never got easier. in fact, sleeping in general was never something that came easily to you.

before seungmin, you had spent many sleepless nights tossing and turning in an empty bed. all of that changed once seungmin came into your life. although there were still many night where you struggled, it was much easier to fall asleep next to the warm body of someone you love.

that night, after scrolling mindlessly on your phone for a few hours and grieving the absence of your boyfriend, you had eventually managed to drift off to sleep. now as you glanced at the clock and did some quick math, you gathered that it had only been about half an hour between then and when seungmin had just woken you up.

even though every bone in your body was yelling at you to lay back down and go back to sleep, you sat up against the headboard and rubbed at your bleary eyes. due to the kids upcoming comeback, getting time alone with seungmin was extremely rare these days and you were determined to take advantage of every moment with him. even if it meant forcing yourself to stay awake

you silently watched him for a moment, his back turned to you, just taking in his comforting presence and waiting for your brain to fully wake up. there was still a faint light filtering in though the curtains on your window, not enough to bother you at night but still enough for seungmin to change into his dog print pajamas with minimal struggle.

"minnie?" you called out quietly.

"hm?" he hummed in question, turning around as he tugged on his shirt and you mentally cursed that it was too dark to see his abs. when his eyes landed on you in your upright position he made a noise of displeasure and shuffled over to the bed. though he scolded you, he still snaked an arm around your waist and let you bury your face in his neck "yah! you're supposed to be sleeping."

"I wanna hear about your day." you whined.

seungmin grunted at that but he knew better than to argue. he rubbed your back as he recounted stories from his busy day, hoping that by then end of it you would fall back asleep. In a quiet voice he told you about their long and exhausting dance practices, his voice coach telling him how much he's been improving, and jisung pretending to slip on a banana peel to be funny - except he actually did slip and then spent the next hour complaining about his bruised butt.

though you stayed mostly silent, choosing to just listen to your boyfriend's calming vice, seungmin knew from your breathing and the way you were periodically kissing his jaw that you were still awake. but he could also tell that you were tired.

seungmin knew you better than anyone. he knew that you had been struggling with not being able to see him very often- and that you were currently awake 100% by choice.

"the sky is really clear tonight, did you get a chance to go outside tonight?"

you shook your head.

"well, come on then."

you blinked in confusion as seungmin carefully pried you off of him and hopped off the bed, offering you a hand.

"seungmin, what?"

in response he just laughed and stretched his arm out further. you couldn't help but laugh too as you accepted his hand followed him out into the hall. he let go of your hand and wrapped an arm around your shoulders instead so he could pull you against his side and kiss the top of your head.

this was the part of seungmin that always made you melt. he was also so bubbly and playful, never missing an opportunity to tease his members or call out chan for being so old. you loved that side of him too, of course, it was the one you had first fallen in love with after all. over time, seungmin had slowly revealed this softer, quieter side. It was common for him to find you after a long day of promotions or just hanging out with his friends and sprawl out on top of you, demanding that you play with his hair.

seungmin had never been as into initiating skinship as the rest of his members although he still enjoyed to do so from time to time. but it was different with you. whenever the two of you were in a room together, seungmin wanted nothing more than to be right by your side. the other boys love to tease him about it and about and whine about how seungmin will cuddle you but not them. It's usually just silly comments but you still remember what chan had told you when you had stumbled into his studio one morning at 3:00am after you and seungmin's first big fight.

"he really, really likes you, y/n. I've never seen him so happy and giddy. you bring out a really gentle side of him that he doesn't show often."

you smiled at the memory as the front door opened and the outside breeze hit your face. even though it was late at night the air was still comfortably warm, a tell-tale sign that summer was fast approaching

"see the stars?" seungmin stepped behind you once you were both fully outside, wrapping both arms around your waist and pressing his lips right below your ear, "aren't they beautiful."

following his gaze, you looked up and gaped at the multitude of bright specks above. the night sky always amazed you, ever since you were young you thought it was one of the prettiest views. and now it still felt as if you could stay outside for hours just admiring the sight and pointing out constellations, both real ones and ones you made up.

"that one can be our star." you beamed happily as you leaned back against seungmin's chest, pointing at a particularly bright star.

"our star..." seungmin echoed and tightened his grip "are you sure we'll be able to remember that? there are so many."

"speak for yourself mister! I'd never forget our star."

"ah okay, my bad. can you point it out again for me."

you lifted your hand back up to do as he requested but immediately faltered, eyes scanning over the hundreds of tiny pin-prick-like specks. "u-um.."

immediately seungmin burst out laughing, pleased with himself for proving himself right. you rolled your eyes and shook your head but couldn't help the smile that crept up on your face.

everything was absolutely perfect.

the muffled sounds of the city, the warm air, the pretty boy with the pretty laugh who was holding you safely in his arms, it was all perfect.

love was bubbling in your chest when you turned to kiss him and threw your arms around his neck. once the two of you parted, seungmin cupped your face with a soft smile.

"I still think you're even prettier than the star though."

the feeling of love was overwhelming now, making you feel like you could melt into a puddle any second now. "I love you, seungmin."

"I love you too y/n, are you feeling sleepy yet?"

you almost said no, but you were beat by a yawn. your body had already betrayed you, you knew there was no point in lying so you admitted defeat and nodded your head.

"good. let's go to bed, my little star."

#seungmin fluff #seungmin imagine #seungmin x reader #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #skz imagine #stray kids imagine #kpop imagine #skz x reader #stray kids x reader

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transmascsonicthehedgehog · 4 months

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GOOOOOOOOD AFTERNOON TUMBLR I'M FINALLY UP AND AT 'EM (<- WAS LAYING IN BED). SEASON 3 THOUGHTS START NOW.

my biggest gripe with season 3 was the ending. you can really, really tell that this was supposed to be a much bigger series but it was literally cut in half due to corporate meddling. netflix is known for doing this so i wouldn't be shocked.

another gripe, A VERY SMALL ONE mind you is that i feel the battle on the grim dragged a bit too long but there was more than enough enjoyable moments between characters and pretty visuals to make up for this me thinks...

that being said, let's move on to my positive thoughts and get the biggest fish out of the water out of the way first;

SONIC AND SHADOW BEING SO WELL WRITTEN IT ACTUALLY FUCKING HURT. sonic realizing just how fucking deep the consequences of his actions were, sonic going back and forth between wanting to just play hero and tie/fix things up in a neat bow and slowly realizing the only true way of fixing the universe really was to accept what he had done and "give" himself up.

self sacrificial either way, but the end with him telling nine he was willing to risk dying to save the universe crumbling away into nothingness, with nothing but the purest intent of saving everybody and giving them a second chance while he, potentially, gets killed, actually made me fucking cry. sonics character arc throughout this series was probably the best i've seen in a LONG long ass time.

shadow on the other end of the coin... he was mad. justifiably mad throughout the run; sonic had destroyed everything and wasn't treating this as seriously as he should. but as the two spent more time together, he softened up. he realized just how much sonic was hurting and how he was this close to crumbling all together.

i never thought i'd get to see shadow trying to comfort sonic, reassuring him ( in his own ways of course ), protecting him from danger ( i.e s3ep1 ) and just being there for him in general. i NEVER thought we, canonically, would get a scene with shadow showing genuine worry for him.

as someone that goes absolutely fucking crazy over body language and expressions i literally fucking gasped. the way he held his breath, his arm and expression dropping, the way his eyes shrink. oh my fucking god. amplified by the fact that every time sonic would "glitch", that stoic mask would crack again.

he cares. shadow is a caring person, whether that's about sonic or not. he was created to match maria's heart and spirit and it really, really shows in certain scenes of this series, not just season 3.

THAT BEING SAID! shadow was much more closed off this season and i know why. it's because it wasn't just him and sonic anymore, they had an entire group of people with them.

i have so many thoughts about these two specifically but this is my thoughts on season 3 as a whole, so let's move on. my closing thoughts on them is that shadow had some of the best fucking writing since the 2000s here and i mean that.

THE AMYS!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW THEY WOULD ALL COME TOGETHER AT THE END LIKE SISTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! the way they bounced off of one another, the way they flowed together so smoothly and were receptive to each other was literally so touching. i loved every single fucking second they were on screen and i wish we could've had more, something i can say about the rouges, bigs and knuckles' 100%. to me, it felt like a part of their personalities coming together at the end despite their "original" selves being long gone by that point...

the way everybody bounced off each other whether negatively or positively was a fucking treat. i loved seeing the egg council interact with everybody, seeing them bicker amongst themselves and letting their shitty egos shine was HILARIOUS. i don't care what people say tbh dr. babble is hilarious. dr. deep and renegade knux were ESPECIALLY funny, what the hell was their beef with each other SPECIFICALLY???? HELP........

the grim big reveal scene was fucking hysterical. it was tense as hell but it was SOOOOOOOOOO fucking funny seeing sonic pound the ground and curse nine while everybody ran and panicked i DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! speaking of which...

the tails'. oh my god. when they "died", i cried. i cried a lot watching this season actually. seeing sonics everything fall apart upon seeing them "die" made me fucking cry. he thought he lost them. i think a piece of him broke, and i don't blame him. if i saw my brother seemingly perish, i would've snapped too. i absolutely do not blame him. i got so stupidly emotional when they revealed they WERE okay.

like i said, my two gripes with the show were the ending and the battle on the grim. that was a half lie. my other gripe is that we never got to see much of rouge until the final few episodes, nor did we get much with her counterparts. yes, what we got was GOOD! but i wanted to see MORE of that. but that's not their fault, i'm blaming netflix entirely for why this felt so rushed and incomplete.

on a small note: the grims ability that was given to sonic is probably my absolute favorite out of the bunch, next to the boscage claws. it was fucking awesome and i won't hear anything else sorry. (JOKING)

now. let me talk about nine.

oh. my god. nine. where do i even begin with him.

season 3 has an opening involving sonic and tails cooperating and defeating eggman. together. then it cuts back to sonic and "tails", torn apart and distant. this tails felt as though he had nobody and for the longest time, he didn't. sonic didn't exist in new yoke. he was alone.

nobody saved him.

nine had to save and raise himself, for better or for worse. and we see this tough, apathetic, power hungry wall he puts up quickly turn to dust as the episodes go on. his pained expressions and looks of absolute fury were so painful. the brief fights between him and sonic were painful.

sonic didn't want to hurt him. i don't think nine wanted to either. but he felt as though he had no other choice.

and the moment with renegade knux beating his shield, trying to wear him down and wear him out, the look of stress and fear evident on his face coupled with sonic just watching. sonic watching and slowly realizing he didn't want this. all he could see was a horrified kid. a kid that needed to be talked through. a friend that he needed to save. i'd be lying if i said i didn't cry.

and i DEFINITELY cried when nine finally accepted sonic and hugged him.

i have. so so many thoughts. so many more thoughts that i want to put into words but i can't and it PAINS ME BUT OH MY GOD. I NEED MORE OF THIS SHOW. I NEED MORE. I NEED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. i know this is within the game/comic canon, but please..... something. i'm so scared we're never going to get something this well written again. i love what we got, but the ending hurt me because that was... it. the fact that it ended so abruptly too felt so. unfair. i can't explain it.

is it perfect? no.

but it was great. it did its job and did it as well as they could with the limits they had. i love you sonic prime.

#note that i did NOT comment on the visuals/animation because it goes unsaid #as an animation dork i absolutely fucking loved every moment of it #sonic sez #sonic prime spoilers

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marshmallowprotection · 1 year

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About your post regarding ocs, you are so right. And to that anon or anyone who reads this, your advice was so top tier and should be followed 100%

I mean that's the beauty of writing, is it not? It doesn't matter how crazy something seems if it brings you joy at the end of the day. Besides, some of the best characters or oc x canon fics I've ever read are ones that are so self indulgent. A lot of people love the same ideas, so to read it in someone else's work is always fun and exciting!

My cmc for example, she's for Saeran too. She's literally a run away princess, and yes it still follows the Canon ish plot of the game. Why? Because why not! It's fun! All of my cmcs are pretty out there tbh...And sure I may post my work, but it doesn't matter If anyone reads it or even if they have critiques on it.

That's honestly what I love about your page, you post a lot of stuff that others probably wouldn't just because you like to write for enjoyment. Your passion truly shows, and you have a great talent for writing. I also love how devoted you are to Saeran, it's nice to see other people who never lost that love for these characters. I grew up with them, I don't think I'll ever stop loving them. My cmc and Saeran story will literally always move forward, and I love seeing yours and reading them.

I do think the best lesson anybody can learn is that when you're creating something, you should be creating it because it's something that's fun and you enjoy doing it. If you're creating things because you want to make others happy and not yourself, that's not going to end well.

It's a good thing to want to make other people smile, but it's more important to make sure that you are taking care of your needs, too. You have to remember it's important to love yourself just as much as it is to love the people around you.

Sometimes, the best characters I've seen somebody create come from a place that people might consider “cringe or embarrassing.” Well, there is no such thing as cringe and people should be having some fun. I don't care how preposterous or ridiculous an idea is for your character, if you like it and you want to have fun with it, go for it! The only thing that matters, in the end, is that you are making things that make you happy.

If you want to know the best way to learn how to enjoy the things you create, art, writing, or whatever you do, then you need to let go of trying to please other people with the things that you create. You need to think with yourself in mind first and foremost. If you are doing that, then the people who are genuinely interested in that will come around eventually.

Sure, it might take some time, I know it's genuinely taken me a long time to get to the point that I'm at! But, because I've spent so much time focusing on writing things that make me happy, I feel a lot better than I did a long time ago when I was only trying to please everybody else. When you are happy with what you are creating, people can see it. People can see your enjoyment in your words and your creations.

I don't know how to describe it because it's just a feeling you get when you see somebody who's putting everything into something.

Creating things that make you happy shouldn't be done because you want to be popular or receive attention, not that there's anything wrong with wanting that because everybody wants and deserves validation in some form! But, if you are making something because you wanted to boom in popularity and you're not deeply invested in that very creation, you're only going to burn yourself out and just feel miserable in the process.

That's why I'm so happy to write stories that make me happy. That means I’ll spend a few weeks working with my CMC! I’ll write her a story where she and Saeran can be happy and unlearn their trauma and it makes me giddy to see their world in print. Or! When I’m really feeling self-indulgent, I’ll go even further and write a self-insert story about myself and Ray.

Bonus points to me for when I write something I know that nobody but me and maybe three other people are going to read, but I'm writing it because I want to see what happens! It's good to want feedback and commentary, but it's just as important that you're having fun in the process of creating.

All of my ramblings aside, I hope that if anybody can take anything away from my rambling, it's that they need to enjoy what they're creating and have fun with it.

#ask #anon #mod kait #kait validation hours?#slaaay anon you write that princess!!!

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maschotch · 3 months

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hello I've been an on-and-off CM enjoyer(?) for a decade, with Hotch being my main area of interest… I just spent literal hours going through your blog lol. tbh it was exactly the kind of CM content I desperately wanted but had trouble finding initially (jfc the sea of x reader I had to wade through) anyway I stopped watching full eps at around S5, but I'm aware of how things go for Hotch and I'm v bitter about the missed opportunities. maybe a popular opinion in the fandom, but I've always hated how the Foyet attack was glossed over for example - my disbelief when I first watched 5x02 and Hotch just... shows up to work?? why'd they bother with such a major injury if its consequences were limited to one (1) episode years later, and even then the mental trauma was 99% ignored. no mention of meds/painkillers/recovery? nothing about "your scars are gonna look just the same"?? BUT that almost pales in comparison to all the other Hotchner things you got me thinking about, like his subtle aversion to fire or autistic traits or other facets of his character/relationships that are soooo tantalizingly hinted at but not expanded upon. I don't know the whole show that well so idk how Hotch fared compared to other characters but it felt like we got crumbs, especially since he was there for 11 goddamn seasons sorry this is so long but I've never talked CM to anyone before and you've made me love Hotch even more as a character, and now I'll have to further stew in my despair over him getting zero closure

i have similar issues with the show and fandom. the show looooves to traumatize its characters and then pretend it didnt even happen the second the arc is over. i understand its the nature of an episodic show like this (and i love that style for this show! i do!) but they could MENTION how hotch has scars (especially in season 10 when theyre all comparing scars on the plane) or how he needs medication (considering thats the only reason why they found foyet in the first place). foyet was the first big arc, so i understand why they needed to get on with it and bring hotch back to work by 5x02, but i wish they’d had an extra episode in between dealing with the team’s emotions about their leader being attacked (the way we kinda see them reeling from haley’s death and the potential of hotch not returning in 5x11 (or whatever the next ep after 100 is)).

no matter who your favorite cm character is, anyone can have the same complaint of them not following through about what undergoing these kind of traumatic events would mean for the characters. it’s definitely a sore point with criminal minds. especially because the only time they do it is when they want a character to leave (like gideon, blake, and kate). it fucking sucks bc there’s so much potential

and that’s where i feel like the fandom lets me down too. there’s not a lot of talk about it—mostly it’s just self inserts and shipping. there’s hardly any good character analysis out there, but that’s why i started this blog in the first place: if it doesn’t exist, make it yourself! (i would encourage you to do the same if you still feel this way. i talk shit ab the fandom all day but i still get so much positivity despite that from people who value the characters just as much but express it differently)

sorry for getting to this ask so late! maybe you’ll come across it eventually. if you do, let me know your other thoughts on the show/fandom! if youve seen more, if youve interacted more, or if you just have more to say!

#asks #cm crit

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oatbrew · 9 months

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olympia soiree review after 100%-ing the game... general consensus of my brain worms is that the premise, its themes, the japanese cultural context, and the lore are its biggest strengths. but it needed a heavy editing hand. writers gotta trust their audience more bc we really do not need flashbacks to a thing that happened three minutes ago. it just felt like some great solid bits that were bundled up way too much w superfluous padding. as such the pace suffered and what should have been devoted to developing further why byakuya and her li would fall in love is spent on filler and revisiting info we already know

the spiciness and the sheer romance of the cg scenes are so good but sometimes it was whiplash when byakuya and her li were suddenly in soulmates mode. the individual scenes were chefs kiss but the relationship development overall felt less earned which made those scenes less impactful than it should have been. i know it's just the two weeks but cmon ive been sold less believable absurdity in less that time

anyway in terms of each route:

himuka - tbh he really didn't leave a lasting impression besides his place in the lore. my fave thing is his character design and i spent most of the route pretending this was a yuri game lmao i think his was the one where i rly questioned why byakuya fell so hard and fast (and she does that in every route but his especially i was like.... but why are you suddenly so ride or die??)

tokisada - cute! but im not typically a fan of the little bro type. when he talks about walking into the ocean tho i did cry 😢 his bad ending main menu speech is so good. i love it when men break down despondently 😌

yosuga - loved him up to That Scene. i love possessive dubcon stuff in otome but this was a character who was established to be someone who prioritizes consent and safety for the female citizens of yomu so it just seemed so out of left field and uncharacteristic. did enjoy the hades and persephone analogue vibes tho

riku - such a fan of this nerd. for some reason i felt his angst more than i did the others perhaps bc his biggest obstacle in returning byakuya's love was his own self. rly related to his desire and anxiety to live up to other people's standards and his general ineptness in romantic situations. bc it often ends w byakuya being the most forward one which i always enjoy whenever the mcs take the lead in otome. had fun w him but he and byakuya felt the most whiplash along w himuka

kuroba - enjoyed his personality for most of the game and was honestly thrown off that he ended up being the most yandere of the bunch. which is interesting considering the reveal of who his birth father actually is. was not a huge fan of how they treated sexual assault in this route. like i intellectually understand why the good ending is like that but they rly should have let that motherfucker choke. handkerchief callback was adorable tho

akaza - BIG FAN of bbq dad. his was the one i was looking forward to the most bc he was the one byakuya was the most resistant in giving a chance. and im just a sucker for decent men who give off a bad first impression bc they take things too seriously. i love his insistence of asserting himself and byakuya as singular entities and not bound by the fate of their roles which is a deft way of tying the relationship with the game's overall themes. his route felt the most believable in selling why they're compatible and why they fell in love because they went to intentional multiple dates where it truly felt like they were learning about each other. i would have liked some room to explore his faults and fears outside of byakuya but i enjoyed his route the most so i can't complain too much

other scattered thoughts

the short stories are great esp the memoirs by the supporting cast. made me appreciate them more bc it gave them nuance and complexity

SHURA 🥰 complicated women my loves. wish tho that her bitterness against byakuya wasn't also rooted in her infertility. not that the motivation is inherently bad but as one of the few female dynamics byakuya has it isn't great

hairi devolving to villainy was understandable but disappointing. wish tho that there was one character based in yomu who wasn't on byakuya's side but wasn't also a villain either.

douma reveal just doesn't sit right in the end like they're trying to establish this grumpy dad vibe when douma spent the majority of the games not just being grumpy and stoic but actively being an asshole and almost resentful

kanan i was generally annoyed with until i got through the bad endings and read his memoir and i did a complete 180 on him. earnestly really enjoy this asshole now and i find him fascinating as a villain

tsukuyomi's memoir is my absolute fave "now i water the cherry tree" just the existential resignation of it all....

don't have much thoughts on the obvious allegory and how it explores oppression as a theme namely bc im missing the cultural and historical framework w my largely western lens and i think context here is absolutely imperative to do this justice

#jm.#olympia soireé

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astrumocs · 11 months

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shoot one's fox for the ask meme of course <3

I was originally savin the meme for later but yk what? how cld I say no <3 Also this... got kinda long so there's a cut,

VISUAL ATTRACTIVENESS: (purely aesthetic appreciation of looks)

💗💗💗💗/💗💗💗💗💗 - Odarem thinks Mel is beautiful, he thinks she has a gorgeous smile and adorable blush, too. He finds her striking and charming as a whole and can't deny that he enjoys looking at her either. I mean he literally calls her beautiful as a term of endearment,

It's really only kinda split between 4 or 5 because with all of that being said, he doesn't overly concern himself with people's appearances too terribly much? However, your visual attractiveness will always increase the more romantically interested he is in you, which is why it's in that nebulous 4-5 zone.

FRIENDSHIP LEVEL: (how close a friend they consider them)

💗💗/💗💗💗💗 - Oda always intended / planned on being friendly with her because, like you said, they were gonna be working together! He would help her and Wil regardless of his personal investment in them, but he likes to let people know he cares about helping and feels like being at least somewhat friendly helps with that.

Now apart from intent, they've honestly become... Really Close. He trusts her quite a bit and she's one of the people he'd have serious conflict about ever running away from if she ever saw him at his worst.

In the end, I don't think he'd ever willingly give up on having some kind of friendship with her, though-- he would put his own issues aside if it meant showing her he wasn't going to be another one of the people adding to hers.

He also thinks she's fun company to keep y'know? He loves to make her laugh and throw teases at each other, he enjoys going for walks with her and showing each other their ''weird'' interests. He thinks she's a good friend he'd be happy to keep the company of. <3

SEXUAL DESIRE: (wanting to have sex with them)

💗💗💗💗💗 - Ohhhh how he Loves to be intimate with her... Showing her what gentleness and feeling good is all about is so good to him he enjoys it as much as any of the acts themselves tbh w/ u. He thinks she makes ummm very charming sounds and stuff, <3

Don't wanna get too explicit w/ this but yeah she's hot and beautiful to him,

ROMANTIC INTENT: (hoping for a romantic relationship)

??? - This is sooo difficult to answer that I can't possibly figure out how many hearts to put here... Like Mel it's very complicated for him.

Oda fears that entering a relationship with Mel would be unfair to her considering most of his time is spent out in space where he can't contribute as much to a relationship as he'd want to. Especially if she doesn't use phones he wouldn't be able to speak to her for months to years at a time, that's not really a strong basis for a relationship,,

Even if that wasn't an issue, Mel isn't the only one who has next to no self-worth. Oda considers himself as a stepping stone for Mel's understanding of healthy treatment and what she Could and Should have in a relationship. He knows he's deeply flawed and difficult, he doesn't expect her to work through that with him when she has it hard enough on her own...

He loves her, undeniably so. As a friend? without question. As something not solely platonic? Absolutely he does. But the 'in what way' is hard to describe... he knows there's something there, but I think he might genuinely be so convinced (as of right now) that he's not right for her and it wouldn't work out that he won't let himself fully explore those feelings?

And I think maybe he can tell she's not 100% certain on her end either, and it could be a tiny bit of not wanting to have his heart broken that holds him back, too.

#wren speaks #afallatmak #shoot one's fox #odarem mortis #hearts meme #thank u lin!! they make me sooooo craseeeee #suggestive

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vermanaward · 11 months

Text

6.4 thoughts: msq + panda

msq

felt a bit like wheel spinning tbh. a lot of back and forth building up to a whole lot of nothing reveals. 'capitalism saves the day part n: garlemald edition' was very zzz. we had this exact same plotline with the ala mhigan refugees subsisting on charity and this being bad for them because only capitalism can give your life meaning or something. brainworms, man. at least i didnt have to be polite to lolorito this time ig.

i did msq before panda only bc i was killing time before my static got their asses online and fourchy getting sulky because i'd left a nightmare in his basement made me smile.

dungeon is neat. music is nice, scenery is pretty, bosses are fast paced and have interesting mechs. gear i think is eden + deepshadow.

the 'zero ran into golbez and dude currently cosplaying golbez back in the day' reveal was obvious as soon as her first exposition came up (even if i didnt call current golbez being the blonde dude right away). personally i would have seeded that reveal earlier but that's me assuming people i write for would pay attention. i've been working for a while on the assumption that the flood of darkness was caused somehow by zodiark's shard being released (maybe that was iggy's bright idea for the rejoining, even; unleash the fragment of her god that was stuck in the shard, only for it to go extremely pete tong). i wish we'd spent more time in 13th!lamentorum. been able to explore a ruined watcher's hangout and find records of how shit went tits up here. voidsent lopporits. pls.

i did like zero's character growth though. figuring out what trust is. what a friend is. [zero voice] 'the wol is friend shaped' /sage nod

yshtola's assumption that the death of the partially rejoined zodiark would have dissipated the rest of his shards though felt like. why would you ever assume that. like when ardbert died that didnt kill the wol. ??? lady you are making no sense

as much as im glad we didnt get a full rehash of iv with golbez being mind controlled by zeromus etc it's still. kind boring that he's a souped up voidsent. golbez being teased with endcaller in the pll feels more like a bait/switch. i still want zodiark (savage) (or dog forbid zodiark (ultimate)) but unless 6.5 seriously pulls the rug out im not expecting much.

normal trial is a lot of fun. took me i think 4 or 5 pulls at like 1am? which you dont often see a normal trial which takes multiple pulls. most people were first time ofc but. the ex should be fun. much improved over rubicante but. low bar etc. music is pretty pog, its more a fantasia on ff4 themes than Yet Another Four Fiends Rearrangement. weapons are all pretty nice too.

panda tier 3

athena came in swinging a steel chair and i love herfor it. mad scientist mothwoman wife. didnt call hermione simping for her but honestly same. i enjoyed that eric told her to fuck all the way off.

athena: you're useless. >'( eric: yeah, and who literally just admitted to deliberately making me that way!!! >(

love that man. deserves much better parents than he got stuck with.

bananabread being bananabread is simultaneously the most boring and narratively satisfying option. to begin with i was like 'im not 100% you're that scenery chewing nutjob i know and meme on' but then he re-embraced his id and im just. okay nm yeah you're him, 100%

part of me is disappionted we never got to Say The Line to lid and part of me is kind a relieved they didnt go there.

the heart of sabik kinda came out of fucking nowhere, did nothing, and then fucked off. confirmed for a shard of the high seraph, i guess. when the scientist guy was holding it at my wol at the end all i could think is that it would be taking every ounce of her self control not to snatch it out of his hand and run off giggling like a gremlin. gib ultima plx.

(something something if athena/bananabread/eric/lid are them but made from memories stamped onto a soul, then... not to be a fraywol shipper on main, but....)

fights were fun. arenas are all gorgeous. p9's music is... weird but either it will grow on me or i'll just listen to something else. p10 and p12 do some cool things with the arenas. p11 manages to avoid being Seat Of Sacrifice... 2! but ig we'll see how savage shakes out. p12 i'm hype for phase 2 just bc Ultima's Perfection (Endwalker).

gear i am aggressively meh about most of the armour but the weapons are all v nice.

#6.4 spoilers #pandaemonium spoilers

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lunarlegend · 2 years

Text

some hurt/comfort musings

i’ve been reading a lot of MT!Prompto fics lately. this is mostly because hurt!Prompto fics are the only thing i can stomach anymore, but. well, there’s some logic behind it.

most obvious is that hurt!Ignis or hurt!Gladio content is 100% out of the question for me; i can barely handle imagining either of them even getting so much as a papercut, never mind anything worse. the whole point of h/c for me is that it soothes my anxiety, not causes it, so either of them in the role of “hurt” is an automatic no.

i used to be able to read hurt!Noctis fics, but i had to stop for a couple of reasons. one, i get genuinely depressed over Noct’s death in canon & all the suffering he had to go through, so reading about more of it doesn’t feel nice at all. and two, i learned the hard way that people like to ship him with his canon older brother/parental figure (aka Ignis), which obviously grosses me out to no end, and too many hurt!Noct fics turn shippy, often without warning. so, big no.

that leaves Prompto, who wins because he is not Ignis or Gladio, and also because Promnis (while i don’t actually ship it at all) doesn’t make me want to puke, so if it turns shippy, i can easily ignore it or just deal with it.

i’ve stumbled across a very pleasant (for me) theme though, which is that a lot of hurt!Prompto fics (especially ones that bring those MT elements into it) put a ton of focus on what Prompto would have dealt with had he actually been raised in Niflheim...in other words, a lot of childhood trauma, which is what i also have, which is why he’s so wonderful to project onto as the “hurt” one in a hurt/comfort scenario.

but what i love even more is how Ignis is often portrayed as the caretaker in these sorts of fics, because he tends to go full parent mode and it’s amazing.

i read one recently that's stuck with me (in a good way), because the way Ignis reacts to (former MT) Prompto as he discovers the world is exactly how i wish someone would’ve reacted to me at various points in my life.

Ignis, in this fic, has a way of acknowledging Prompto’s apprehensions & fears without being dismissive or patronizing, and he’ll follow this by immediately guiding Prompto in a different direction and getting him focused on something that’s easier for him to handle. it’s a very practical “you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to; let’s try this instead. here, i’ll help you,” approach, which is not only a wonderful display of patience and understanding in general, but also an ideal way (in my opinion) to recognize another person’s struggles without acting superior to them or harming their dignity.

i love and appreciate such characterizations of Ignis, because i feel they fit him in terms of the fact that he literally is a caretaker. Ignis spent most of his life looking after, and helping to raise, Noctis; a large part of his job requires him not only to maintain patience and empathy for his charge, but also the ability to strategize and to remain level-headed in times of crisis, emotional or otherwise.

i believe that Ignis, upon noticing someone becoming triggered or overwhelmed, would react exactly as he does in this fic--by strategizing a way around the situation to the benefit of the person who is having a difficult time, without causing them to feel inferior for something they can’t help. which, tbh, is not only a great way to support someone who is dealing with trauma, but is also a great way to support an autistic person who is having a meltdown/shutdown (and gods, would i have given anything to have had an Ignis, on so many different occasions).

anyway, hurt/comfort fanfiction is literally how i discovered FFXV to begin with, and almost 2 years later, it’s still one of the most significant ways these characters help me and allow me to self-soothe. caretaker!Ignis especially, because gosh, what a perfect mama bird to imprint on.

i’m sorry i like it when you’re hurt, Prompto, but it’s only so i can read about Ignis taking care of you!

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wakanai · 6 months

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Romantically speaking, which BSD character do you think it's more compatible with you?

hello cathy!!!

aaaaa thank you for this ask hehe! 🤭🤭

sorry it's a bit late. I try to take a break from tumblr sometimes (usually on Sundays) but yea 💞👍

I actually spent some time thinking about this yesterday.

and I came up with 2 answers.

1.)

(I so badly wanted to put a smiling picture of Odasaku but it's from pinterest and I'm not sure who the OG artist is so 😔)

but anyways!!!

Odasaku.

He strikes me as the 'ride or die' kind of friend. Whenever Dazai wants to do something crazy, Oda goes along with it and is SO CALM. He can be goofy with Dazai and Ango. In Dark Era, Dazai once drugged their food and when Dazai offered to cook again, Ango was like "NO!" but Oda was literally just like, "If it keeps you from getting tired, then it must be good."

Oda is a listener. He listens a lot and is VERY observant. He's good at understanding other people BUT he also doesn't act like he knows everything about them.

I like that.

Tbh I want more adventure in my life. I think Oda would be very good and understanding with me 🤭 If I think of doing something crazy, he might go along with it and help me. He's very calm even in stressful situations so that would help me a lot.

I'm also a listener-type-of-person so we would listen to each other. I'd listen to all his cool backstories and ask him questions about the book he's writing. We can help each other make stories haha.

He has low self esteem but I can support him and try to make him feel better.

I want him to treat me like how he treats Dazai.

Unless it's a life-or-death situation, he doesn't force Dazai to do anything. He's 100% honest and doesn't try to control Dazai or manipulate things. He's usually always on board and doesn't judge when Dazai says something crazy.

I want that. I don't want him to treat me like a kid/control things for me/lie to me and I want him to spoil me.

I think he's the type to remember everything even if it's just a small detail. 💞

Lastly, he's brutally honest but he says it in a calm, non-aggressive way.

Oda is also the kind of person who you can confront without worrying.

He's very caring and considerate.

I think we could work well together 👍

The next person is..

2.)

Nikolai Gogol!!!

I mentioned earlier that I want more adventure in my life.

Nikolai can definitely help with that 🤭

He's so chaotic, bubbly, and goofy!!

I like goofy people who are loud and make jokes.

Nikolai is VERY EXPRESSIVE when it comes to people he likes.

He doesn't get shy at holding Fyodor's hands or saying out loud in front of everyone that Fyodor is his << dearest friend >>

I like that! If he was my partner, he'd probably tell everyone about it and hug me a lot --- which I like 💗 (I really like hugs lol)

Besides being goofy and funny, He's also very philosophical.

We can talk together about the deep things of life ✨

Lastly,

with Fyodor, Nikolai continues to stay on Fyodor's side even though Fyodor doesn't respond with the same energy.

Sometimes I get drained or busy and I don't feel like responding right away.

Even if I seen zone Nikolai or send dry texts, he won't get mad at me and he'll be the same as always.

He's okay even if he cares about me more than I care about him.

My mom told me,

<< find someone who's more in love with you than you are with them so that you won't get hurt as much>>

Ik this may sound toxic to some but dw, I'll treat him better than Fyodor.

AND OFC -- I'll actually care about him. ❤️

It might be hard to connect with him at first because he is a criminal but I think he'd be fun (fictionally speaking) to have a relationship with.

Also..

I like clingy people but not *too clingy.*

Nikolai is clingy and he will always express to you that he likes you.

I like that and at the same time,

I like that he doesn't get mad when Fyodor doesn't act as clingy as him.

He still shows Fyodor affection even if Fyodor doesn't like him back lol.

*****

TLTR: Oda and Nikolai ❤️

***

Thank you for the ask!

I really enjoyed doing this :D

also I'm not really that toxic btw :")

I just don't like "clingy" when they get mad over little things like seen-zones or expect you to always be there for them.

that's all <3

#thank you for the ask!#i love it #feel free to be honest w me btw :D #Ik we're very different and thats what makes it interesting <3 #im going to send you an ask too :D <3 #long asks #ask

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judasisgayriot · 1 year

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Actually your analysis reminds me of a couple things

1. Nathan’s locus of control; he’s spent his whole life being controlled by others that even having control of just his life doesn’t feel like enough when he gets it. That combined with how he’s been raised to “change the world” or whatever leads me to believe that he only feels like he’s the one in control if he’s controlling others’ lives as well. He can’t give himself mental breakdown bangs alone, he has to drag someone else along (such as Claire in s3), and then he acts almost surprised when the other people involved don’t like the results.

2. Nathan’s identity/lack thereof/lack of awareness of it. If Nathan’s got a true self, I think it’s hidden WAAAAY down deep, so deep down that even he doesn’t know where or what it is. This leads him to “not know” who he is without his family or others to tell him. So repressed that his surface-level brain doesn’t even know what gay is.

3. You know, you’re right that this man spends basically every episode of this show utterly in the trenches, with vibes resembling a cat that fell into the bathtub.

4. All that said, I think part of why I feel the way I do about Nathan is a factor of timing. When I got into Heroes, I was at a stage of processing/healing from my own childhood emotional neglect that involved deliberately NOT sympathizing with a parent’s plight and instead prioritizing whether the child is having their needs met, because a lot of my CEN trauma came from not wanting to put a burden on my mom due to her own problems. Thus, I’m super sensitive to when fictional kids are going through CEN. So first, I was like, put off by Nathan’s jerky persona, and then I was seeing all the ways that Claire, Monty, and Simon weren’t having their needs for support and validation met just- white hot rage on their behalf tbh. Like yeah Claire DOESN’T have reason to trust him at the end of S1, yeah she DOES have the right to be disappointed in him during S3!! And yeah okay maybe she cuts him “too much slack imo” in Mexico, but that’s probably more of a “I’m trying to have a relationship with you” thing than an “actually I do believe you can 100% fix this” thing.

I guess all this is why I’m more inclined to point and laugh at Nathan personifying the Ben Affleck Smoking meme than to sympathize, but I really appreciate the conversation— did a lot to help me understand the ins and outs of how he personifies said meme!

Completely fair tbh - we all bring our own experiences and perceptions etc to everything really. I guess in the context of the show Simon and Monty are such non-characters that the show basically just forgets they exist, and so do I a lot of the time lol (not to be callous, the show just doesn’t bother to do anything with them lol). I see what you mean 100% though, although I think in the very few scenes we do have it seems like he is genuinely good with his kids, or wants to be (Claire saying he wants to be a good person in Into Asylum is very astute) - it’s very open to interpretation, although I think Nathan is just like, bad at giving his full emotional self to anybody, lol. He’s fuckin broken. A shell of a man. With Claire, I think he means it when he’s like, I missed out on all this time with you and now you’re grown up and idk how I even fit in your life now. He did Severely Fuck Up (and you’re right that he ends up dragging others into his personal trauma spiral lol) but I do love their scenes in Mexico just bc I think both of them really *want* to have a relationship but don’t rly know how to yet and Claire is. Just so good to him and they both break my heart :( I think it’s so sad how he literally thought she was dead for most of his life too. Has to fuck someone up. Not that that’s an excuse but eh. Idk. He’s just like a sad wet cat to me. I love him whether or no. Lol

#but like it does totally depend where you’re coming from when you approach something how you react to any character rly #anon #asks #heroes #nathan petrelli #am i an angel or a monster #heroes ramblings #anyway the Nathan tswift antihero edit is coming #not a joke I’m literally making it right now lmao

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cosmicclownboy · 3 years

Note

hi- why don't you like Maria?

Oh lord.

Where do I even begin with Maria.

Season 1

Makes a joke about Alex's secret relationship being with Wyatt and finding it funny- (Wyatt who is an abusive racist dude who commits hate crimes and bear in mind she knows Alex was abused for being gay) IT'S GROSS.

Speaks about Alex's secret relationship guy being his home to Alex and literally feels his hopefulness because it is part of her alien ability and continues to pursue Michael in s2.

Maria (straight) outs Michael to Liz. That's not okay on any level.

When Liz tells Maria to speak to Alex before doing anything she ignores the advice and does what she wants.

She's really smug about Michael picking/pursuing her like she won.

Season 2

Pursues Michael at a funeral in front of Alex without talking to him.

Makes Michael's loved ones husband funeral about a relationship status

Slut shames a random woman who makes out with Michael when they were never exclusive

Enters a relationship with Michael where he has to be exclusive but she doesn't because she doesn't believe he could be faithful. That's reeks of harmful biphobia stereotypes.

Ignores Alex the whole time UNTIL she needs something.

When she appears at Alex's door she says they are even. AKA comparing Alex not telling her a secret that wasn't his to share to her pursuing the love of his life in front of him without any empathy and ignoring the whole time.

Bitches to Alex about Liz and wanting fuck all to do with her. Alex has to remind her Liz has a dead boyfriend and is struggling cause Maria only has Maria vision and lacks empathy for her 'best friends'.

Uses her mom's laptop to get the scope on Alex/Michael's relationship which reads 100% manipulative. She even says Michael is pushing you away and then proceeds to encourage the narrative where Michael pushes Alex away because she suddenly wants Michael. And of course Alex is supportive she recognises he lacks self worth and rolls over him.

Beginning of 2x06 she tries to set up Forlex to get Alex away from Michael. Once again manipulative.

Tries to make Alex feel guilty for being gay in 206 because when she was a kid she idealised being with him and had to come up with a whole new plan. He grew up in an abusive household you know that....It's not okay to say that. You know how much internalised homophobia he has.

When saying he's had good relationships provides only examples of relationships with women......................HE IS GAY.

Asks him if he would change being gay.......jfc.

Alex tearfully saying he dissociates with women because he clearly forced himself to out of internalised phobia, Maria takes it to mean she has a chance. She thinks she's the exception since a touch starved abuse victim liked to be touched by her in high school. That doesn't = consent.

When Alex, a whole ass Airforce Captain tells her it's unsafe to stay at the creepo's place she acts all I am feminist about it and this results in Alex being stabbed and Michael getting whacked on the head.

Earlier in the episode she whinges to Alex about Michael kissing another woman in front of her and how cruel it was and then proceeds to kiss Michael in front of Alex KNOWING how he feels for Michael.

In THAT scene it's clear she notices Michael's emotions towards Alex and is insecure about it. She uses Malex's feelings for each other to her advantage. She's chasing the fantasy of getting with Alex. These are two highly traumatised queer men who struggle to say no because they spent their lives in abusive environments.

Neither Michael or Alex were in a position to consent to sex that night Michael is concussed from a whack on the head . Alex has lost a lot of blood and is completely out of it. And neither would ever initiate that situation. Not to mention the assumption Michael would be down because he's bi is so harmful as a stereotype.

"I think she’s cool with her decision. She wanted some answers, so subconsciously there was an emotional comfort she needed. But she also had a little bit of an agenda. She needed some decisions made about the status of their relationships, so she thought, “Let’s throw everything against the wall and see where it lands.” I think she was just wondering if they made any progress on that front. She said it was OK for their feelings to be out in the open, but let’s just voice them for what they are. As we saw, Michael stepped up and was like, “No, I still love you and I’m with you.” Secretly, that’s what Maria was hoping for. By suggesting a threesome, she’s was basically telling Michael, “Make your choice… and I hope it’s me.” this is what Heather said about the scene. So not only was it coercive and such but she used her best friend like that with no care or empathy whatsoever. It's disgraceful.

The next day both Michael and Alex are confused by what the fuck happened. Alex due to his C-PTSD completely dissociates from the situation and Michael attempts to laugh it off despite him being hella confused. The only person who isn't confused is Maria who is listening to them from inside.

When Michael comes in she turns on the tears just in case he does want Alex afterwards. Bear in mind she is a psychic who can feel everything and she assumed Michael was going to go after Alex. Doesn't that say it all. SHE KNOWS MICHAEL IS IN LOVE WITH ALEX AND VICE VERSA. She does not care, because at the end of the day this is what she wants. She wants to win. She wants to treat Michael like this trophy that she can show off to people I got the great Michael Guerin not a relationship guy to date me.

When Michael wants to have emotional conversations she shuts it down for sex. The entirety of the relationship it has to be her way or the high way. She also recognises fairly on his abandonment issues and plays upon it, reads manipulative.

When Michael who has lost his mom and brother in the span of a few months asks Maria to be more careful about her abilities she doesn't listen. And ultimately breaks up with Michael when she can't get what she wants from him which is a yes man who will do what she says and isn't the idealised Michael she wants.

Season 3

Shits on Michael any chance she gets. She's so mean to him and he goes out of his way to look out for her.

Is dismissive of her own health despite the fact that everybody goes out of their way to help her. Liz is in California working on a way to help her. Kyle is risking his job.etc

Is fine with Liz, her best friend losing the love of her life to get a vision to prevent a murder. A vision she's only invested in because apparently in it she blames herself.

Is fine with Max or Kyle dealing with the guilt of her death had Michael not saved her.

Shoves Michael and belittles him because he's stronger then her. Infers he just sits on his ass and does nothing therefore does not care about anything....rude. There's also a weird superiority complex that her power is more important then Michaels or any of pod squad for that matter.

Creates a situation that is so bad that Kyle risks his doctors licence to give her adrenaline. Just take an ice bath or something there are a 1000 ways to give yourself adrenaline without risking your life and risking others.

Doesn't thank or acknowledge what Liz is doing for her honey has spent a FULL YEAR of her life trying to help and your just like yeah I'll let her soulmate die for my visions.

Emotionally guilts Isobel for not hanging out with her despite the fact she's hated her for two seasons and now has just randomly decided she wants to know......okay

This idea that Maria is suddenly lonely when she's the second of the main cast (first being Kyle) to have scenes with all the mains by Monday. Literally everyone is there at her beck and call but Maria is lonely??? IT DOESN'T ADD UP. Everyone's up her arse 9/10 how is she lonely everyone expresses concern and care for her ALL THE DAMN TIME. She's also narratively never had scenes that give the connotation that she is lonely. Michael has scenes that connotate he is lonely. Max and Alex do too. Maria has yet to have scenes that give the connotation of feeling lonely or depressed.

Maria comparing the alien siblings to her and feeling left out when she acts superior to them and they are literally siblings. Literally every character is somewhat left out with Pod Squad they've lived their lives assuming it's just them three against the world it's not a personal attack.

Maria is 1/8 alien at best so diluted genetically it doesn't show up and somehow she believes she has the capability of the aliens who are 100%. Say you have French DNA you don't expect to speak French suddenly.

This whole Maria never does wrong narrative and it's empowering that she's doing all of this just feels like a crock of shit tbh.

She reads like a 2000's movie mean girl.

All of my bullet points are why I don't like h Maria and it's not biased because I'm a so and so fan. Narratively she just wins up doing shitty things to Michael and Alex the most.

#anti maria deluca #rnm spoilers #tw 2x06 mention #tw coercion

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meichenxi · 3 years

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Hey, could I ask you how you do shadowing? Like the different ways you do it? You mentioned in your tag that shadowing is good and I'd love to hear how you do it! I do not attempt shadowing much so I don't really know what helps, etc. ToT (my studyblr is rigelmejo)

Hellooo! Thank you for the interesting question!

Tbh I think I do it fairly basically - I don’t use any particularly fancy software, but software like Language Learning with Netflix has certainly made it easier. There’s a whole video on how to get the most of it here: [on mobile, link didn't work - How to study Chinese with Netflix! by Chinese Zero To Hero] (I’d recommend checking out all of their videos actually, they’ve done a bunch of livestreams recently and they place a lot of emphasis on shadowing + the course they are trying to sell you is…actually phenomenally good)

(Also, I have to preface this by saying that I have been very lucky in terms of pronunciation: I learnt about 80% of my current vocabulary by ear without characters or pinyin. I have been in China for eight months in total, and while I didn’t speak Chinese for all of that, I was constantly soaking in info on natural sentence intonation. I still often don’t know officially what the tone of a vocabulary item is, especially if it changes tone like 教, 为 or 相, but I don’t get yelled at so I have definitely internalised a lot of those changes. I definitely would have more trouble with this if I hadn’t had that experience - my other areas are waaaay weaker because of this though- my reading SUCKS lmao and I can literally handwrite about ten characters)

Anyway. How I shadow:

1) Quite simply by playing the line, and repeating it with all the emotion it has!! I usually use Netflix or Viki for this. I try to do it as fast as possible, and if I can’t do the whole thing, I ‘chunk’ it: if I were doing the sentence 我们还不知道他会不会来, I would start from the end with 他会不会来, then 不知道他会不会来, and then the whole sentence. Notice that this isn’t breaking it down into words or even grammatical phrases, but intonational phrases: it would be perfectly sensible to just do 会不会来 without the 他 but realistically, since this is a question, it’s likely that a strong stress will be placed on the first 会, and you wouldn’t be able to replicate that without also included the more weakly stressed syllable before.

2) I locate (intentionally or subconsciously) the main locus of stress within the sentence, and I focus on that accordingly. Tones may become less extreme if they are not stressed, and may become more exaggerated if stressed. This is always a good exercise. I accompany this with physical actions - I throw my hands down, I sigh, I groan!

3) I put away the text, and don’t look at the tones or even my computer screen - more on this below.

4) Finally, when I think I’ve got it reasonably accurate, I’ll record them speaking the line into my phone with an appropriate pause for copying and play it back to myself at various points throughout the day.

5) I then go and find other words with the same tone contour to slot in, and copy it again. After that, I find words that are slightly different tonally and pop them in too.

6) I finally do fun things like hold a conversation with myself. This can be really simple phrases imbued with some kind of emotion - 这个女子到底是谁呀？为什么不认识我？应该是新手吧。You can do this either really informally, or very formally, or both - trying to speak in the latter way is very fun! So then it’d be idk something more like: 那位姑娘是何人，来自何处？This is fun because you can really slow down your speech and sound as elegant as you like!! (this will sound stilted if you do it for modern speech, but it’s a very fun exercise)

Choosing your media!!

1) Don’t use donghuas. Seriously. The voice actors usually speak at a ridiculous pace and not with the same range of ‘normal’ intonation

2) Your Chinese is definitely good enough to recognise when anyone is quoting poetry or speaking in a paricularly sexy literary way so, uh…don’t do that. That rules dramas like Nirvana in Fire OUT.

3) Modern dramas and reality TV shows CAN be great, but they can also be quite intimidatingly quick and almost too mushy at times. I’d recommend informal speech in guzhuang dramas more, because they have professional voice actors and extensive sound editing, meaning that although it might be fast and the vocabulary harder, it’s actually much more accessible and easier to copy. You don’t want to be stuck with the awfulness of 50% failed foreigner and 50% 12 year old boy who can’t enunciate properly!!

4) CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON WISELY. I try to find characters that speak in a dramatic, whiny or childish way. This is so important! There’s literally no use copying Lan Wangji unless you want to be able to have that particular cadence and tone of voice you get reciting poetry. Childish/whiny/dramatic characters on the other hand stress some words very strongly, and rush others together - this is great for hearing what actual real speech sounds like. Whininess wins. In The Untamed, characters like Wei Wuxian (not yllz!wwx but just…regular wwx), 一问三不知 Nie Huaisang, Jin Ling, and Jingyi are all great. Also Jiggy, who is just very extra constantly and speaks much slower as well, which really helps. In SHL characters like Gu Xiang are good.

5) CHOOSE YOUR VOICE WISELY! If you are really aiming to copy them 100% (which you should try at least sometimes), you want somebody with your pitch range to sound normal. I have a sort of party trick in Chinese that because I’ve spent so much time listening to women in guzhuang dramas I can change my voice and sound like a) a scheming concubine with honeyed words, or b) the voice of the Beijing metro. My teacher found it hysterically funny. But it’s not my natural voice, and if I speak like that for too long it hurts. The women usually are too high for me, and the big burly manly men too low - so I’d recommend finding a man with a higher voice, or an older woman (like some of the female characters in Nirvana in Fire). Again, sorry that this is mostly the Untamed (I’m just most familiar with it) but the voice actors for Wei Wuxian and some of the juniors (+jiggy) has a higher voice. Likewise Chengling in Word of Honour.

On intonation in general:

- The thing is that whilst shadowing is useful it requires prior ability in a whole bunch of other skills that you can train - it relies on your ability to accurately mimic pitch, emotion and other contrasts. Training this in ANY language, including your native one, will help your ability to do this in Chinese - so I’d recommend spending a fair amount of time practicing shadowing (or speaking just after somebody whilst listening to a string of text, like monolingual simultaneous interpreting) in your native language too. Any training copying accents or mimicking other people is going to similarly help, regardless of the language.

So, with that in mind, further tips:

1) Hum / try to copy the intonation without any words. What this does is force you to pay attention to what the intonation actually is, versus what you may think it should be.

2) Don’t look at the text! Do! Not! Look! At! The! Text! If you look at the characters or pinyin you’re telling yourself ‘ok this is a third tone here’ etc, but you want to override the part of your brain that has gotten into bad habits and is supremely self-confident in how you’re pronouncing the third tone, and actually just go straight back to mimicking.

3) Don’t be afraid to do it with vocabulary that is way beyond your level. Actually, I find this can sometimes be helpful, because you don’t have a prior idea about how a particular tone pair should be useful - and you don’t know which tone you should be producing.

4) Learn vocabulary by ear - listen to a vocab podcast or even make one yourself (I often do this; I record my daily Anki and listen back to it through headphones copying throughout the day - if you’re not confident in your pronunciation you can get Google Translate to do it). Similarly, pick unknown vocabulary out of a longer segment and remember it, trying to internalise the tones instead of figuring out which tone it is.

5) Find emotional sentences, and copy them with emotion. This is SO CRUCIAL!!! We remember things when we relate to them, and when we imbue them with emotion - and it also helps in hearing exactly how an angry second tone sounds, for instance.

6) When you’re copying, look up, and imagine you are having an actual conversation. Carry yourself with conviction and poise!! Really try to whine like wwx or slime like jgy. After a couple of turns copying them, try to turn off the audio and keep delivering it in the same manner.

7) Swap individual words out. Once you have a line properly figured out, swap a word or two that has a different tone pair, and focus on delivering it with the same pattern of stress.

8) Finally, practice doing this in your native language too!! It’s a skill that we don’t use often, and it can be trained. Some people are terrible at it at first go even in their native language, but you can work on it!

About intonation in general:

1) I think a lot of pronunciation problems with people sounding unnatural or stiff ultimately come down to a fundamental misunderstanding of what intonation looks like across different languages. In English we mark it by pitch: and we are so used to the rhetoric that Chinese has ‘tone’ and not ‘intonation’ that we try and focus on blindly copying every single word textbook perfect without listening to how it actually sounds.

2) Chinese does have intonation!!! Except that, unlike English, when you stress a word, the pitch doesn’t change, but the tone contour is exaggerated - basically the only time you will ever hear a full third tone is in isolated or very exaggerated speech. If you have a Chinese friend, get them to record a sentence like the English ‘I didn’t ask her to steal his rucksack’, and put stress on the different elements of it - I didn’t ask, I didn’t ask, I didn’t ask, and so on. Notice and copy how the tones change. When shadowing, you should always be paying attention to where the stress is in the sentence: when you speak by yourself, practicing saying a sentence neutrally, and then with stress on one component, the next, and so on. If it feels unnatural, it’s because you might not have practicised like this before - it’ll get better!

Hope that’s somewhat helpful / interesting!

- 梅晨曦

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