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randomvarious · 1 year

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Today’s compilation:

Now That's What I Call Music! 6 2001 Adult Contemporary / Pop-Rock / Alternative Rock / R&B / Teen Pop / Pop / Boy Bands / Post-Grunge

Here we go, folks. Another dispatch from the most pervasive compilation series to ever grace US shores: it's the triple-platinum-selling, #1-spot-on-the-Billboard-200-album-chart-achieving, sixth installment from the king conglomerate of repackaging contemporary chart hits itself; the one and only Now That's What I Call Music!

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Lots of fun stories behind this eclectic set of pop songs that, overall, feels like turning on your favorite top 40 radio station sometime between 2000 and 2001, but let's start with what was probably the most popular tune in the entirety of those two full years: Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me." If you've ever wondered why or how a song on which Shaggy himself doesn't really do that much came to be the signature hit of his whole career, it's because it wasn't actually ever intended to have been released as a single in the first place! Presumably, this was just a song that was to be included on his 2000 album, Hot Shot, that would serve as a showcase for another budding vocalist, Rik Rok, who sings the song's long pre-choruses, choruses, and bridge. Now, nothing substantial ever ended up materializing for Rik Rok after this song, but the story behind its global takeover started with a radio DJ in Hawaii who downloaded Hot Shot from a p2p network, like Napster, and then decided that his favorite track on it was "It Wasn't Me." He then played it on the air and received numerous requests to keep playing it, and that clamoring audience response then persuaded MCA to release it as the album's lead single, three months after the LP had already dropped.

Also, Shaggy became known as something of a heavy sampler and interpolator, with his follow-up single, "Angel," revitalizing the melody from Juice Newton's country-pop classic, "Angel of the Morning," and a popular remix of "Boombastic" using Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" (I actually wrote about how we should be taking that Marvin song off of our collective sex playlists earlier this week). But something that probably slipped under some people's radar is how he just pretty much took the intro from a song that’s a bit more obscure in order to make "It Wasn't Me": "Smile Happy," by War, the band who became famous in the 70s for songs like "Low Rider" and "Why Can't We Be Friends," all of which are from the same album. Listen to that song's opening! It's basically the same!

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I don't think War or any of its members ever received a songwriting credit for "It Wasn't Me" either, but they did when One Direction's Liam Payne made his solo debut with "Strip That Down" in 2017, which interpolated Shaggy's song. So, nice to see that War finally started to accumulate some scratch from those few bars!

Next, *NSYNC's "Bye Bye Bye," the lead single from No Strings Attached that served doubly as a dynamic teen pop breakup anthem and possibly as something of a middle finger to their former manager, Lou Pearlman, as well. It's an early 2000s pop masterpiece that comes from the famed Cheiron Studios in Sweden, which gave us the brunt of all those teen pop hits that use similar production techniques and lyrics that don't always quite make sense 😅. The most iconic producer from that teen pop haven was Max Martin, but he actually wasn't directly involved with this one. Instead, other guys from Cheiron produced and wrote it: Jake Schulze, Kristian Lundin—who was also behind "Tearin' Up My Heart"—and Andreas Carlsson.

And it's Carlsson who actually first took the song to UK boy band 5ive, who had previously charted Stateside in the top 10 with "When the Lights Go Out," in 1998. Carlsson's original conception of "Bye Bye Bye" had a rap chorus on it, and 5ive ended up really despising it, so much so, that one of the members actually called security on him 😂. Apparently, 5ive had decided that they wanted to be a "rap band" and sound like Eminem, so this "Bye Bye Bye" song, despite its chorus, was very much not for them anymore. So, the tune was then later retooled for *NSYNC, who would end up taking it to #1 on Billboard's Hot 100 chart, and it then summarily became one of the most memorable songs of the early 2000s and the boy band/teen pop era as a whole. And as a result, 5ive would never chart again anywhere after 2001 😬.

OK, now for Creed’s “With Arms Wide Open.” Did you know that this fucking song, the band's only single to top the Billboard Hot 100, which also contains some utterly incomprehensible choices in enunciation from lead vocalist Scott Stapp, took home a Grammy for Best Rock Song? Unreal, right? And what might be even more unreal is the fact that notoriously cool dude Dave Grohl actually genuinely loves it, having called it one of the most amazing songs he’s ever heard! What, Dave?!

And then there's U2's "Beautiful Day," a simply epic song to buy shampoo to that marked a departure from the electronic dance experiments that the band had become known for in the 90s, and began their transformation into the most ubiquitously annoying and insufferable act in the world for the next 15 years or so. Brian Eno, Daniel Lanois, and Steve Lillywhite's production was really stellar on it, but a writer at NME wrote that John Lennon's assassin should be let out of prison so he could shoot Bono for making this one. And I mean, that's certainly a drastic measure, but then that other album wouldn't have ended up invading all of our iPhones in the 2010s, so... 🤷‍♂️....actually, I'm just kidding. Wanting people shot for making songs you don't like is unethical. Don't do that!

And lastly, I totally forgot that K-Ci & JoJo's "Crazy" even existed before I gave this album a spin today. Those guys were probably the most iconic vocal male R&B duo of the Y2K era, and were known especially for their super soulful adult contemporaryish slow jam-ballads, like "All My Life" and "Tell Me It's Real." But I don't think I'd heard "Crazy" once since it came out over 20 years ago, so, that was a total jolt of nostalgia for me, personally, right there. And I really wasn't cognizant of it at the time, but that song's also one of the first big hits to use a considerable amount of autotune on it too, long before people like T-Pain would go on to define their career with it towards the end of the decade. So, it's sort of a trailblazing song, I guess, but it was also K-Ci & JoJo's final appearance on the Hot 100 as well, so also bittersweet. And there’s another song with some autotune on here too, an early 2000s R&B classic, “No More (Baby I’ma Do Right),” by 3LW. It doesn’t use the autotune to the same extent, but it’s there in the first verse. Fantastic throwback.

So, this album was a lot of fun. Always love taking these trips down memory lane and re-experiencing, evaluating, and learning all these backstories behind these songs that I grew up with years ago 😊. Now was probably something of a nuisance when it arrived in the US because all it did was cash-grabbingly gather big chart hits onto CD, but now it's just a great collection of artifacts that document the music of bygone eras.

Highlights:

Britney Spears - “Stronger” *NSYNC - “Bye Bye Bye” ATC - "Around the World (La La La La)" Jennifer Lopez - “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” Destiny's Child - "Independent Women, Part 1" Shaggy - “It Wasn’t Me” 3LW - "No More (Baby I'ma Do Right)" K-Ci & JoJo - “Crazy” R. Kelly - “I Wish” Backstreet Boys - “Shape of My Heart” Evan and Jaron - “Crazy for This Girl” Coldplay - “Yellow” Lenny Kravitz - “Again” Fuel - "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)" Creed - “With Arms Wide Open” Incubus - “Drive” U2 - “Beautiful Day”

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forays-into-fiction · 2 years

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Blood That Drives Us

Part 5.

Masterlist ~ Previous ~ Next

I’m sorry for what I did, but I’m not sorry I did it

You had called in sick on a few too many of your shifts at family video, any of those that you shared with Steve at least. Since that last shift after your fight, you didn’t think you could handle that again any time soon, but now it had come time to face the music.

The air is thick with tension, when he sees you stepping through the door, bell tinkling above you. You flip over the ‘back in five minutes’ sign before approaching the counter cautiously.

“Hey.” You manage weakly with a slight wince.

“Oh, look who finally decided to show up today?” He snarks back.

“Please, don’t Steve. Please, can we not fight anymore?” You lean against the counter between the two of you.

“Are you ready to admit that you’re wrong about Munson?”

“I’m not wrong.” You state firmly, before sighing “But, I am sorry for how things went down. I know I should have been honest with you from the start, even if it wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“Why are you so set on protecting him, y/n? Where did this come from?”

“Because he needs someone, he’s said he’ll try to come and see the rest of the gang when he’s ready. There’s just something he’s been working on before he can do that, needs to be comfortable with himself. I’m not going to push him to do anything he’s not ready for, but if it makes you feel better, I can make sure you’re one of the first people he sees.”

His eyes narrow and he crosses his arms over his chest as he contemplates what you’ve just said, “The sooner the better, alright? I really do have to see what’s going on for myself.”

You smile softly, grateful that he’s more willing to hear you out now, it seems, “Ok, I get that and you will. I know you’re just trying to look out for everyone, but sometimes you gotta trust that I know what I’m doing.”

“I know… it’s just, you’ve been acting different lately… it’s like there’s something not quite right with you and I think it is because of him. Look, I know I barely know the guy, but I know you and I can’t put my finger on it but something is off.”

“I think you’re just a little on edge and that’s understandable. All the shit that’s happened because of that place, but I promise I haven’t changed. I’m still me and I wanna say Eddie is still Eddie, but you’re right neither of us really knew him before all of this so we aren’t really the best judges on that. Dustin though, he was closest to him, so would you listen to it if it came from him that Eddie is safe?”

“Yeah, yeah that actually makes sense. Ok, fine that’s how we’ll play it.”

“Thank you, you know for listening this time.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. Sorry I lost my shit before, but-”

“I know… So, now that that’s blown over, how ‘bout we get to work and you can catch me up on what’s been going on with you? And no more Munson talk for the rest of the day.” You move to flip the sign back over.

He chuckles and gives you a lopsided grin, “Yeah, ok so get this…”

The two of you fall back into rhythm easily after your little heart-to-heart and when you enter his car at the end of the day, you notice he’s left the radio tuned in to your station. You don’t comment on it like you probably would in other circumstances, but you grin at the realisation that even though the two of you weren’t talking some small part of him was still thinking about you.

When you get to your place you linger at his car, leaning through the open passenger side window.

He looks over to you from his seat, “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah? Half-shift? Taking over from Robin, right?”

You nod, “Yep, you wanna hang out after close?”

“Sure, what you got in mind?”

“How ‘bout another trip to the trailer park?” You giggle.

“Oh, haha very funny, so glad you can make jokes about that now.”

“Honestly doesn’t matter though, we can do whatever, just missed you ya know?”

“Yeah, I missed you too, I had to go almost three whole weeks without one of my best buds.”

You gasp in mock outrage, “’ONE OF’ you take that back I am THE best bud, ok. No offence to like Robin or Dustin, but I’ve been here longer, even saw you through your ‘King Jerkface’ days.”

“I was never that bad to you, though… right?”

You can see the flash of guilt in his eyes, the uncertainty, you reassure him, “No, you were never bad to me… well, you did have your moments, but nothing that bad. Certainly, not as bad as the time you said I was just the ‘nerdy little girl your parents forced you to spend time with at the company Christmas parties’.”

“Oh my God, you’re never going to let me forget that are you? I was like twelve, what do you expect?”

“I’m just teasing, Stevie.” You giggle at him before stepping away from the car and giving him a wave, “Bye.”

He grumbles, “Ugh, see ya. Don’t know why I ever even missed you in the first place.”

“It’s cause ya love me…” You tease.

“Whatever, just get inside already… and don’t forget to talk to Munson, ok?”

“You got it.” You reply giving a mock salute.

He throws an arm over the seat beside him, glancing over his shoulder as he reverses out of your driveway. He gives you a lazy three finger wave before driving off.

Your parents aren’t home yet so you decide to just call from the bottom of the stairs, “Eddie, you here?!”

There’s a pause before the silence is broken, “Yeeaaaah, in your bedroom!”

You grin, practically skipping up the stairs, today was going well in your books. When you get to your room you see him propped up on the floor by your bed, another one of your books in hand, one of his cassettes playing on your radio. The music plays softly in the background and he looks up at you as you enter closing the book around his fingers, shifting into his wingless form.

You take a seat beside him and turning to him you both go to talk at once.

“How was-”

“I’m glad you-”

“You first.” He offers.

“Glad you stuck around, I told you it’d be fine staying the night, last night.”

“How was work? Steve treat you alright this time?” You’re impressed that he’s managing to hold a conversation and maintain his ‘human’ appearance.

“Yeah, yeah, we uh actually made up, I guess. Gonna hang out with him tomorrow night.” Your face begins to drop though, as you remember your promise to Steve.

“That’s good right, why don’t you seem happier about that?”

“It’s uh, complicated. See, we talked about you, obviously and um… Steve wants to see you. I told him you’d been planing on seeing the rest of the gang when you could, but that I wasn’t going to push you to do anything you weren’t ready for. I hope… I hope that’s ok.”

“Of course, that’s ok, but um… I still don’t think I’m ready to see everyone just yet.”

“Eds, that’s totally ok. How about if it was just Steve? I can be there with you if you want, right by your side.”

“You uh, you realise you just called me ‘Eds’, right?”

“Oh, shit sorry… do you um not like that… is it ok if I call you that?”

“No, no it’s fine you can call me whatever… it’s just I’m not really used to it.”

“So, uh what do you say to meeting up with Steve?”

“Oh… do I have to?” He whines.

“I mean you don’t have to. I won’t make you, but look you’ve maintained this whole conversation without the vampire popping out, not once.”

“Really? Shit, I almost didn’t even have to think about it this time.”

“That’s great, I’m so proud of you!” You beam over at him and he preens at your praise.

You continue, “I really think you’ll be alright talking to Steve and I’ll be there if anything goes wrong, ok?”

“If… if you say so then, yeah sure.” He shrugs.

“Perfect, maybe I can invite him over for a movie night after work tomorrow and you can join us. Low impact interaction and if you feel uncomfortable at any point you can hide out in my bedroom, sound good?”

“Yeah, I’ll try… uh, for you.”

You smile brightly and throw your arms around him, “Thanks, Eds. I really am so proud of you for this.”

He stiffens against you, doesn’t know what to do with his arms, they sit frozen by his sides, book falling from his grip his and his psychic mask drops. You jump back feeling his unease, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, it’s fine you just surprised me is all… no one’s hugged me in a long time… not that many people hugged me before, but still.” He shrugs not meeting your eye, flushing bright red against his scars.

You nudge him, “Hey, do you… do you like hugs? Do you want to be hugged?”

He looks at you like you’ve just sprouted a second head, “Well, yeah who doesn’t like hugs?”

“Plenty of people, for all different reasons and it can change depending on the situation too. Like Robin for example, I know she doesn’t like unexpected hugs, it’s like a sensory thing or something. So, with her I just let her initiate the hug. Make sense?”

“Uh yeah, I guess… and I do want hugs by the way, but maybe next time don’t just tackle me. And for sure watch yourself with the horns and the wings and shit, don’t want you to take your eye out.”

You giggle at him, “Sure thing Eds... D’ya want a hug now?”

He looks away again shyly, mumbling, “Um, yeah… yes, please.”

His reaction is so adorable you just wanna burst, you move to wrap your arms around him again but he stops you holding up his hand.

“Wait. Wait a minute. Let me try changing back to, ya know, ‘normal’ me.”

“If that makes you feel more comfortable, sure thing.”

It takes him a second, his face screwed up in concentration before he looks back over at you, his mask back in place, “Is that… did I do it?”

“Yep, come here…” you spread your arms, popping up to rest on your knees facing him.

He slots himself into place in your arms still a little tense, but he relaxes into you when your arms wrap around him. Even though you can’t see them you can feel the joint of his wings on his back as your hands slip under the membrane when they move to encircle him. You pretend you don’t though, no need to make him feel self-conscious and he doesn’t mention it, instead sighing contentedly when you begin rubbing your hands in circles.

You let him pull away first, allowing him to take as much time as he needs, poor guy must be so touch-starved it hurts, you think.

When he does, he gives you a shaky little thanks, sighing yet again.

He looks at you but can’t meet your eye, gaze instead settling somewhere around your nose, mumbling, “I uh, I really needed that. I guess I didn’t even realise how much.”

“Hey, it’s no problem, what are friends for?” You grin at him, “You ever need a hug, you know where to find me.” You give him a playful punch to the shoulder.

“Yep, so… what’re your plans for tonight?”

“Hmmm… dunno, mum already has dinner sorted in the fridge. Probably too late to squeeze in a movie before the parents get home. We could just hang out here listen to your music, you can keep reading…” You trail off.

“Yeah, ok cool.” He picks up the book from the floor beside him and settles back into his original position, flipping through the pages to find his place.

You stand moving to find something to keep you occupied too, deciding on your sketch pad. You lay on your bed flat on your stomach doodling away, humming along to the music.

You’d been surprised to find that you actually quite liked some of Eddie’s music, you recognised the song playing now as Rainbow in the Dark by Dio, you knew the tape would be finishing soon only one more song left.

You glance over at him still absorbed in the book, still maintaining his ‘human’ appearance, you grin. When the tape does end you put on another one grabbing it at random from the few sitting beside the radio. It turns out to be another one of his, Iron Maiden, the cover art depicting some sort of zombie.

When you take your seat once again on the bed, leaning back on the pillows this time, he glances up at you opening his mouth as if to say something but then closes it abruptly before returning to his book.

You’re hit with the sudden urge to cuddle up with him, so you decide to speak up, “Hey, Eds I think I need some cuddles now, d’ya think…”

“Oh, for sure absolutely. I was… I was actually going to ask you, but I didn’t wanna seem too needy or whatever.”

“Come up here on the bed.” You pat the space beside you, “If we cuddle up real close, we should fit alright.”

He scrambles to join you, the book hanging loosely in his grip and you shift forward so he can squeeze in behind you. You settle back against his chest and his arm wraps around you shakily, “Is this, ok?” He asks for confirmation.

“Perfect, hey do you think you could read your book aloud to me?”

“Yeah sure, if you want.” He replies mildly surprised.

The combination of his voice and the music crackling through the speakers of your radio is enough to lull you to sleep and you do so, head resting against his shoulder. He carefully extricates himself from underneath you, turning off the radio before turning back to you and covering you best he could with the quilt beneath you not wanting to disturb you too much.

He’s utterly perplexed by your behaviour today, you’d never been this touchy-feely with him before. He’d noticed how flippant you could be with your affection just seeing you around school and the town before but he’d never thought he’d be on the receiving end. A warmth bubbles up in his chest, but he’s quick to quash it back down, remembering his little vampire predicament. He couldn’t let this continue, he was only digging himself into a deeper pit.

You come to in the middle of the night only to find that Eddie has disappeared, you sigh flipping the covers off of you, stripping down and changing into some pyjamas before getting into your bed properly and staring at the ceiling. Had you scared him off, made him uncomfortable somehow, surely, he’d be back tomorrow for movie night, right?

But then you notice a breeze coming through your open window, a plume of smoke coming along with it. You move over to the window, leaning out to see Eddie there, cigarette in hand.

“Hey, I thought you’d left.”

He turns, shifting abruptly to his ‘human’ form, “What are you doing up, go back to bed.”

“Alright, dad.” You remark sarcastically prodding his arm, “Why’re you out here? …oh right ‘cause you’re smoking, duh. Sorry, just woke up not really thinking straight.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m smoking. But also ‘cause when your parents got home one of ‘em came in to check on you, had to hide.”

“Ahh yeah, I didn’t think of that either. Why don’t you come back in when you’re done?” You suggest.

“Oh, uh… ok. I mean I was planning on staying out here just in case, but…”

A flash of an image of him holding you close, wrapped up under the covers together in your bed passes through your mind bringing with it a warmth to your cheeks.

“Ummm, maybe… maybe we could cuddle again, help me get back to sleep?” You suggest awkwardly shifting on your feet.

“I dunno… are you… are you sure you wanna do that? I don’t think we should. What if your parents come to check on you again or…”

“’S fine if you don’t wanna. Don’t want to make you uncomfortable, just thought it be nice.”

“It would be nice.” He sighs, “… alright, if you want, we can cuddle. Just a friendly little cuddle.”

You can’t quite make sense of the feeling that follows when you agree, “Yeah, friendly cuddles.”

He waves his cigarette “I’ll be in, in a sec just go get comfy.”

You crawl back into bed and he follows not long after.

“So, just like before right?” He asks warily.

“Yep, come here.” You make grabby hands at him and he chuckles.

“Alright, scoot.”

He settles in laying over the covers, rather than getting in bed with you properly. He’s still a little tense at first, but when he does relax his hand comes to stroke at your hair and he hums a tune that sounds vaguely familiar.

It’s nice, but you’re not sure where the idea to cuddle came from, you wouldn’t normally push your luck with him like this. You doze off before you can contemplate it any further.

Previous ~ Next

Taglist: @boofy1998 @hellfireclub-86

#eddie munson fic #vampire!eddie #vampire! eddie munson #eddie x reader #vampire!eddie x reader #vampire!au #post canon #post canon fic #eventual smut #fluff #eddie munson x reader #vampire!eddie munson x reader

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dontjudgemeimawriter · 2 years

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Flufftober Day 11: Poetry, Music, Art, and Craft

Here’s today’s snippet for Flufftober. Today’s prompt is: Poetry, Music, Art, and Craft and is form @flufftober’s prompt list.

I’m using the characters from Syndicate. These scenes are non-canon and written simply to practice with lighter content. Let me know if you want to be tagged in future responses for this event!

I feel like this is a lil less pure fluff but it's still cute. I only really followed "craft", hope that's fine. To non-followers: This incorporates the interaction between Raymond and Terran's kinda unique powers, but what they can do is fairly obvious I think.

Raymond's POV

When I got back to my room after my final, all I wanted to do was to not think about it, other finals, or any of the other things that could stress me out. It was time for a break. So I put on some tea, tuned in to my favorite radio station, and dug some yarn and knitting needles out of a drawer. I sat on the loveseat, leaned onthe arm, with my tea next to me, and cast on.

I was knitting and purling to the backbeat of the music when there was a knock on the door. I finished my stitch and went over to the door, peeking through the peephole.

Terran.

I thought for a minute. It wasn’t that I didn’t like having Terran around or I want to avoid him. But I’d just been getting into a relaxing afternoon, and Terran was very bad at relaxing, meaning that my afternoon of tea and yarn was probably over.

There wasn’t much I could do to avoid it, though. Terran would have heard me stand and walk to the door. There was music playing. It wasn’t like I could pretend not to be there. And I didn’t want to tell him to leave.

So I opened the door. “Hey.”

“Hey. Sorry— are you busy?”

I felt myself relax a bit. Not long ago, he would have barreled in, not asked if I was busy, gone right to whatever he needed or wanted to argue with me about.

“Not really. What’s going on?” Please, nothing too stressful.

“Nothing.” He didn’t meet my eye. “I was hoping I could hang out here for a little while.”

That was a relief. I swung the door open. “Sure, come on in.”

As he came in, I tried to peek into his head— not even a full mind read, just tried to pick up on emotions— Mika called it an empathy read. I hit stone. The focus wall that was up far too often. But under it, almost like a distant vibration, I sensed it was pushing down something else.

“You were knitting,” he said, spotting it on the loveseat. He picked it up (please, don’t let any stitches slip off!) gently, then set it back own and sat next to it.

“Are you okay?” He didn’t come over without reason often. I shut the door.

“Fine.”

I pulled the curtains closed, even though the natural light had been really nice. He relaxed when I did, when we were shut off from the outside world.

He wasn’t fine, though. That distant vibration didn’t mean excitement. “Something happen?”

He leaned his head back, pressing it against the wall. “Not really.”

“Should you drop focus?” He was usually more forthcoming when not under the spell.

He shook his head.

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” he snapped, and his head raised again, and this was why I didn’t like that spell. I stared at my feet. At least he noticed now, though, and didn’t get more upset, because his voice softened and he explained further. “I’m only fine because of focus. It keeps me from falling apart, okay? I don’t want to fall apart.”

I nodded. Something had happened. Or at least, he wasn’t okay, that anxiety I’d felt was worse than his normal levels.

He sighed. “I’m sorry. You don’t like that spell. I’ll go somewhere else if you want. I— I don’t want to drop it, but focusing at home was making it worse.”

“You don’t have to go,” I said. I moved my knitting aside to sit next to him, ran my hand down his arm. It made sense, home for him was a place of trauma, of needing to outsmart everyone, of survival. It was even good to hear that he’d got to me to get away from that. A reminder that he did feel safe with me, even if that didn’t mean dropping the spell. "Do you need something to focus on, then?” I had a feeling that even here his mind was still planning, on guard.

He met my eyes, and smiled slightly, and it made my heart stop for a moment. He so often looked serious, and his smiles, even when they were a bit pained like this, felt like something special. And this one was for me. “That might help.”

My face was getting hot and I ducked my head away quickly. I picked up the knitting again— perfect solution. “Here. I’ll teach you.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Come on, learning a new skill is a good way to direct that focus,” I said. I held out the needles in front of me. “You stick this in here, then wrap the yarn around, then…” I demonstrated a knit stitch.

“Can you really imagine me knitting?”

I hadn’t considered it, but the thought of Terran knitting immediately became the cutest, hottest thing ever in my head. I had to. I couldn’t stop grinning now, but I held out a needle to him. “Just try it.”

“Alright, fine,” he gave in.

I showed him how to drape the yarn over his pinky and index finger, then demonstrated the knit stitch again. He tried it, dropping the stitch by accident. I took it back to recover it. “That’s okay, it happens,” I said.

He tried again, and a stitch or two later, I watched him catch on. Stitches formed. It was so tight that the yarn squeaked when coming off the hook, but still, he was getting it.

“You can do one less loop around the pinky and it’ll be looser,” I suggested, but still his stitches turned out tiny. I could tell it was working, though, the task has engaged his focus and he seemed less anxious. When he got to the end, I explained that he would now be doing the back of it and how to do a purl, how it was just a backwards knit. That he caught on to quickly, and before long, had another row.

I leaned my head on his shoulder, partially just to see better. I pointed out how the knit stitches looked like Vs and the purls like lines, but as he picked it up and got into the rhythm I found myself just watching it. It was hypnotizing in a way that knitting myself never had been, along with the pulsing of his mind as it worked almost washing over me. I liked how close he let me get, wondered if he even really noticed.

Somehow, this was even more relaxing than it had been before he arrived.

Flufftober Taglist (ask to be +/-)

@puzzleddragon02

@drippingmoon

@sleepy-night-child

#flufftober #flufftober2022 #idk guys does this count as fluff #I will say that this kind of thing I can easily see being a canon scene #original writing #my writing #syndicate #raymond #terran #I try to write fluff challenge

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wolfsbanemanor · 4 months

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Winterfest Headcanons

Back when they were "normal" human Sims, Caleb and Lilith celebrated Winterfest like whoa! Seriously, the Whos down in Whoville had nothing on the Vatores down in Willow Creek. The day after Harvestfest, they started to get ready for Winterfest. Edward put the lights up on every inch of the house, Artesia (and Caleb) baked a metric fuckton of cookies and sent cards to everyone and their dog. (Literally.) They posed for family photos to put on the cards. They even met Santa Claus, er, I mean...Clement Frost...er...Father Winter. (And Artesia maaaay have lowkey woohooed him that Winterfest Edward was stuck working.)

Lilith's gingerbread house fell apart because she went a little too ham on the roof frosting. It was supposed to be entered into a contest, and there was no time to fix it. Caleb ran upstairs and dug a Godzilla toy out of storage and placed it next to the collapsed gingerbread house. It won first prize.

After they were turned into vampires, they soon discovered that most of Forgotten Hollow...well, they just didn't do Winterfest. They put their all into Spooky Day, and they gave Talk Like a Pirate Day everything they had, but Winterfest was a no-go. Everything was so dark and gloomy all year round, but it was especially palpable at Winterfest. None of the houses in FH had any lights. Nobody kissed that special someone under the mistletoe. No wreaths decorated the door, unless you count the one at that Garliclauter Place made of garlic. Nobody baked gingerbread cookies or put together gingerbread houses. No stockings hung on the fireplaces, no garlands adorned staircases, and no lights were seen on any roof.

This was their first Winterfest since their parents' passing, their first Winterfest on their own, the first Winterfest since The Incident With Miss Hell, the first Winterfest since their cousin Lily became a werewolf and (Vlad had told them) wanted nothing more to do with them, and the first Winterfest since they turned into vampires. It was also the first Winterfest since they decided they didn't want to follow Vlad's ways.

The night before Winterfest was due to begin, Lilith threw the curtains open, as the snow fell outside. "It's Winterfest," she declared. "Yeah, so?" asked Caleb. He was sulking and nibbling on somewhat stale Winterfest sugar cookies he'd picked up from the store on impulse yesterday. He had been moody ever since The Incident, and well, all things considered, no one could blame him. "So," declared Lilith. "We need this. Let's get our butts in gear and Do Winterfest!" "Why should we?" asked Caleb. "Come on. Mom and Dad wouldn't want to see you sulking on Winterfest, Vampire or no!" replied Lilith. "Besides," she continued. "All those lights, the greenery, the music...I don't think Vlad will like it very much." (If you want Caleb to do something, all you have to do is play the "it will upset Vlad" card. It works every time.) Caleb's blue-grey eyes lit up, and he put down the shit-ass storebought cookie he didn't like much anyway. "Let's do it!"

They spent the night putting lights up all over their house. Garlands on every wall, the staircases, and the porch. The tree right in the window, where everyone could see it. The radio tuned to the Winterfest Music station, loud enough that it could be heard all the way down by the lake. Even their coffins got decked out for the occasion!

The next night, when it was officially Winterfest, Wolfsbane Manor was all lit up. (It even caused a power surge!) Everyone in town looked with wonder and awe at this unusual-for-Forgotten-Hollow sight. Not to be outdone, Vlad went down to his basement and dug out his own holiday decorations box. It was covered with dust and cobwebs, and contained ornaments they don't even make anymore. He set to work putting his own decorations up, and played "Fwingle Fobs" on his pipe organ.

Father Winter stopped by and left a huge pile of presents under the tree, at both houses. He was asked to decide which one he liked better. He decided he was just happy to see lights up at all in Forgotten Hollow, and soon FH joined all the other Sim neighborhoods in getting ready for Winterfest.

Each year, the Vatore-vs-Straud Winterfest Lights rivalry intensified.

#the sims 4 #the sims 4 seasons #headcanons #caleb vatore #lilith vatore #vladislaus straud #the sims 4 vampires #winterfest #merry simsmas

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modernmanblues · 1 year

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sing a mean tune kid

CH 1: ONLY THE BEGINNING

a/n: and here we are, the first chapter in this wonderful story. in this chapter, we are introduced to the main protagonists, Robert, Lee and Andy. we will quickly learn why Andy may have a little trouble with Robert and Lee (they can be a handful, those meddlin’ kids!) anyways, not much to say here except i hope you all enjoy and once again, please give me feedback on whether i should write more chapters! Ta 💖

themes: general silliness, curiosity, insinuating rivalry between band members, hot women 😏

“Most of you probably know me as Bobby Lamm but today, you may call me Robert.”

April 4, 1973. The time is 8:00 am.

“I hope I’m making myself clear, boys. I need you to take this stuff seriously. This radio station needs more productivity, which means we gotta figure out a way to gain more listeners! Just stick to the plan and play the top 40 hits listed on this paper.” Andy says matter-of-factly as he looks at Robert and Lee dead in the eyes.

Andy is dressed in red and black flannel, sleeves rolled halfway up his arms, and tucked underneath his skinny bell bottom denim jeans. He has on his favorite pair of cowboy boots. He stands with both his hands resting on his waist, showing his authority as program director.

He hands the men the top 40 list. Robert and Lee squint as they read through the list, nodding their heads slowly as they analyze each song that’s on the list.

“Is that understood boys?” he questions Robert and Lee.

“Yes, sir!” like two army cadets, Robert and Lee respond in unison, giving Andy a slightly petrified look.

“Good, good now let’s get funky boys!” Andy smiles at the men and does a little dance as he exits the control room.

Robert and Lee turn to each other slowly, smirking rather mischievously before bursting into laughter.

“I hope I’m making myself clear, boys!” Lee says mockingly in his best Andy Travis impression.

“Oh Andy Travis, program director of WKRP, please marry me.” Robert responds in an exaggerated female voice while batting his eyes and making kissy faces at Lee.

Lee and Robert laugh like two hyenas as they fall back into their seats. As they regain composure, they both examine the control panel.

“Huh, I wonder what this button does.” Robert says as he pushes a random button on the control panel and immediately, a red light on the control panel begins flashing.

“Oh sh—” Robert’s eyes grow big and begins to panic. He realizes he’s now live on the air.

“Say something, man!” Lee whispers in a panicked voice.

“Hello.” Robert says in a deep, suave voice. “This is Robert Lamm, keyboardist of Chicago and today you folks are lucky because you get to hear me provide DJ services until 4 pm for all your rock ‘n roll needs.” He smirks and gives Lee a slightly nervous look.

“You’re doing so well, my dear, keep it up!” Lee whispers as he smiles at Robert.

“Most of you probably know me as Bobby Lamm but today, you may call me Robert.” he continues to speak rather suavely. He pauses for a second, then continues his dialogue. “Today our lovely WKRP listeners are in for treat! I am joined by my lovely assistant and the world’s best trumpet player, Mr. Lee Loughnane!” he gestures at Lee to begin talking.

Nervous, Lee clears his throat then begins speaking into the mic.

“Well, hello all you beautiful people of Cincinnati. It is I, the great Lee Loughnane! Robert and I are two of the finest DJ’s Cincinnati has to offer so we hope we fill your morning with joy with our high quality DJ services.”

As Lee continues with his spiel, Robert takes out one of Elton John’s newest albums, Don’t Shoot Me I’m Only the Piano Player and places it on the turntable. He gently sets the needle down on the record and waits for Lee to finish talking before he begins playing a song off the record.

“..and here’s Elton with one of my personal favorites off his newest record, Crocodile Rock.” Lee points to Robert to cue him to begin playing the song. The song begins to pulsate through the tiny control room. Robert scrambles to find the mute button on the control panel and presses it gracefully with his long index finger.

The men slouch into their seats and breathe a sigh of relief.

“That wasn’t too bad, was it?” Robert looks at Lee, his clear blue eyes slightly twinkling.

“Not bad for amateurs.” Lee smiles widely through his beard. He shakes his hair vigorously, then run his fingers through his silky, golden curls to fix it.

Robert rests his legs against the control panel, being careful not to accidently push any buttons.

“Hey man, you want some coffee? I can ask that stunning secretary of ours if she can make us some.” Lee smirks at Robert.

Robert’s eyes widen once again then stares at Lee. “Oh man, she’s so hot, let me tell ya!”

“Yeah, that’s what I was saying! So damn hot!” Lee exclaims. “It’s always the blondes, man.”

Robert chuckles. “I bet she has a boyfriend though.” He follows Lee with his eyes as Lee rises from his seat.

Lee stretches while standing, then yawns as he scratches his side. “Sadly, you’re probably right, man.” Lee looks down and pouts like a child.

“She would be one lucky gal to have one of us as a boyfriend ya know.” Robert chuckles.

“Yeah but she’s out of our league, man. I mean the girl comes from old money, I betcha. Look at the way she carries herself. She’s clearly rich!” Lee says matter-of-factly.

“Are you boys talking about me?” the female voice resonates throughout the entire room, making the boys jump of their seats. Robert and Lee turn to see that it’s Jennifer Marlowe.

Jennifer is dressed in her maroon pencil dress, her blonde hair is tied up in a neat bun. She grins widely at the two boys while holding two coffee mugs with both hands, which are steaming with hot coffee. She carefully brushes past the men and places the mugs on the center console of the control panel.

“Jennifer Marlowe!” Robert and Lee say in unison, ogling at Jennifer head to toe.

“Hi boys, I didn’t mean to snoop on ya but I thought I’d bring you two some fresh hot coffee. Mornings can get a little tough here at the KRP. I know coffee always picks me up!” Jennifer says with enthusiasm.

She takes some time to examine the men from head to toe but pays extra attention to Robert. She notices how his white dress shirt is unbuttoned halfway, revealing a patch of chest hair and notices the brown talisman he’s wearing around his neck— adorned with three small brown pendants in the center. She grins at Robert, and the two stare at each other for a while.

Jennifer smiles at Robert. “So you must be Robert.”

“Yes ma’am. ‘Tis I.” Robert says softly.

She walks over to him slowly and begins playing with his hair. Robert gives her a confused look and doesn’t take his eyes off her as he tries to figure out her next move.

“My, my your hair is getting so long. It seemed shorter in the photos. It must be the new trend, fellas growing out their hair.” she says, smiling widely at Robert.

Robert chuckles. “I guess I’m trying to go for the John Lennon look. That’s what everyone’s doing these days.”

“What about me?” Lee says with a huge grin on his face, his ocean blue eyes twinkling as he stares at Jennifer.

Jennifer smiles at Lee while walking over to him. She looks up at him and starts playing with his hair. Lee shakes his curls while Jennifer plays with them.

Jennifer giggles. “Well aren’t you just the most adorable thing, Mr. Loughnane?”

“Please, call me Lee. Geez..Mr. Loughnane. What am I old or something?” Lee chuckles, looking at Jennifer with a child-like smile.

“Ok Lee.” She grins at him. “Anyways, I’ve been meaning to ask you boys if you have any idea who left this stinky sock on my desk.” She yells out for a young woman by the name of Bailey to come in. “Oh, Bailey!!”

Bailey Quarters, the pretty blue-eyed, petite brunette, who is the devoted editor for the station, scurries into in the control room and her facial expression changes the moment she lays eyes on the men. Her jaw drops slightly and her eyes widen. Without saying a word, she looks at the men disdainfully as she shows them the dirty sock.

“Yes, well I’m sure you boys realize that your mothers are not around to clean up your mess for you.” Jennifer says, her tone slightly maternal.

Robert grabs the sock from Bailey and pinches his nose as he gets a whiff of it. He tosses the sock to Lee.

“That’s definitely not mine! See, I actually do my laundry unlike some people I know.” Robert slowly turns his head to Lee and glares at him.

“Sweet baby Jesus, this thing reeks! And this is definitely not my sock either, Jennifer, I swear! I’m a good boy and I do my laundry just like Robert.” Lee says to Jennifer matter-of-factly while pinching his nose.

“Wait a minute—” Robert examines the sock again and grimaces as he begins to realize who the sock belongs to.

“Oh I know whose sock this is.” Robert says in a stern voice, narrowing his eyes as he examines the sock once again.

“Yeah, man. I think I might know too.” Lee adds, while looking at Robert.

Robert and Lee look at the sock then, looking at each other in the eyes, they both begin to grimace.

“Cetera…” the boys say sternly in unison.

“I’m sorry, is that one of your people?” Jennifer asks.

“Yes, it sure is. Peter fucking Cetera. I got into a fist fight with that fool last week after he got home drunk and demanded to fight with me. Anyways, his room is like a pig pen, it’s always a mess. That sock belongs to him, and he probably came in earlier and left it on your desk to try and sabotage our image. He’s just mad that Lee and I get to be radio DJs for a month while he’s stuck helping his mother with chores back home.” Robert says, a hint of bitterness in his tone.

“Yeah, Jennifer. That boy definitely has some growing up to do.” Lee adds.

Bailey walks slowly over to the boys to get a closer look at them. She looks at them both with admiration, her jaw dropping slightly.

“Woooww. I don’t mean to change the topic but Jennifer, can you believe we’re breathing the same air as the guys from Chicago right now?” Bailey says with delight, gazing in awe at Robert then at Lee. “Which one of you is Robert?”

The men look at each other smiling then look back at Bailey.

“Meee!!!” Lee chirps.

Robert cups his mouth with his hand to try and stifle his laugh while looking at Lee, knowing fully well this is child’s play.

“Yes, and I’m Terry Kath.” Robert adds, smirking at Bailey.

“Oh. Wow, Robert, I didn’t realize you had facial hair and thick curls! my, oh my!” Bailey says to Lee.

Lee laughs then tells Bailey the truth. “We’re just messin’ with ya. I’m Lee and this is Robert.” Lee points to Robert.

Bailey walks over to Robert and stares at him for a minute. “My God you’re—”

Andy suddenly storms into the control room and has a puzzled look on his face when he notices Bailey and Jennifer’s presence.

“Alright, ladies. These boys need to get to work, they’re not here to fraternize with groupies.” Andy says with stern in his tone.

“Oh Andy, I was just on my way out the door anyway. It was a pleasure talking to you both!” Jennifer blows a kiss at the boys as she scurries out the room.

“Yeah..Andy…uhhh…I was just—” Bailey gives Andy a frightened look, then exits the room swiftly.

“And as for you two—” Andy looks at the boys dead in the eyes, raising his index finger at Lee then at Robert like a disgruntled grade school teacher.

“Crap! it’s time for the next song!” Robert exclaims.

Robert rushes over to the control panel to announce the next song. He looks at the next song on the list, a tiny smile breaks across his face when he sees that it’s his song, Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Robert leans over to the mic but pauses briefly as he thinks about a good transitional speech.

“So Elton, huh? man, that boy sure can sing. Anyways, that was our dear friend, Elton with one of his newest hits, Crocodile Rock. Up next is a song written by yours truly. Here’s Chicago with Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? Robert looks over at the turntable and sees that Lee has conveniently placed the record on it, ready to be played. Right on cue, Lee carefully plants the needle on the record and music begins to fill the tiny studio once again. Robert hits the mute button on the control panel and begins to sing under his breath.

“..to me and asked me, what the time was..” Robert sings softly.

“..on my watch, yeaahh and I saaaiidd…” Andy joins in singing.

“..does anybody really know what time it is? does anybody really care?..” Lee chimes in.

The men proceed to sing the rest of the lyrics in perfect harmony. For a moment, they forget about all their problems and immerse themselves into the wonderful music.

—————————————————————————— please visit my masterlist if you would like to see some of my other work :))

#sing a mean tune kid: a fan fiction #liz stewart’s writings #chicago the band #wkrp in cincinnati #robert lamm #lee loughnane #andy travis #thank you for reading!! hope you enjoyed this rather light read ☺️

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rescuerangerdale · 2 years

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I-5

Self-Para, light angst + humor.

A small set of conversations spanning Dale's life as he travels the Interstate 5 connection between California and Oregon.

tw: Brief mentions of death and loss.

Someone dies but it's off screen.

Groves of douglas furs passed by the window as the station wagon made its way down the I-5. Jessie’s Girl played on the radio as a young Dale took in the scenery. They had only been in the car for a few hours, and had many more to go before they made it to their destination. Dale sighed as he rested his head against the cool glass.

“You doing alright there sweetheart?” His mother called out from her position in the driver’s seat.

“Yeah mom.” Dale said as he offered her a smile. “Just a bit bored. How come I didn’t get to ride with dad?”

“Because your brother won the coin flip.”

“But…” Dale huffed a bit as he sank down in his seat. He was the youngest of three, having both an older sister and brother with the older two only sharing a two year age gap, and him being seven years behind his brother. It had always been apparent that he was an unexpected surprise, and his siblings had made sure he knew it too, taking every chance they could to exclude him even in the most minor ways. “I didn’t even get a chance to ride shotgun…” Dale mumbled out as he kicked the seat in front of him where his sister was sleeping.

“You know shotgun rules, your sister called it first.”

Dale pouted some more as he tried to count the cows in the field they were passing. They had settled back into a delicate silence as American Woman played.

“Are you nervous about the move?” His mother asked when the song ended.

“Not really. I’m really looking forward to making new friends.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah! I’m going to be the most popular kid in school! I’ll get everyone to love me by just telling them about all the cool stuff in Oregon! I bet they haven’t been to The Mystery Spot!”

His mother chuckled softly. “I bet they haven’t. You know, your dad and I really appreciate your positivity. It’s been really helpful during the move.”

Dale turned away from the window catching his mothers eye in the rearview mirror.

“Anytime mom.” He said as he smiled at her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I know mom, I know!” A barely 20 year old Dale said into his new cell phone as he attempted to merge onto the interstate. “It’s just a straight shot up I-5, even I can’t mess that up.” He rolled his eyes as he listened to his mother let out a long sigh in lue of a reply. “Chip and I have taken this trip multiple times, I think I can manage one trip on my own.”

“Should you be on the phone while you’re driving?” She asked. “This is why you need to have Chip take the drive with you, you’re too distractible.”

“Mom, that’s the whole point of cellphones! It’s so you can talk whenever wherever. Plus it just hit seven so I wanted to update you with my eta.”

“Are you sure it’s too late to turn around and pick him up? I just worry about you driving through the mountains so late at night.”

Dale sighed. “I told you mom, Chip and I are trying to spend some time apart.”

“Is this about that silly fight you two had?”

“Mom” Dale warned. He flipped on the wipers to clear away some bugs. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Oh sweetheart, I’m sure he’s over it by now. Have you even called him? You two have been inseparable for years, that just doesn’t go away overnight.”

“You know what mom, you're right I shouldn’t be talking while driving.”

“Dale Munk, if you hang up on me now-”

“What’s that? I can’t hear you. Must be losing signal.”

“Dale!”

“What?” Dale yelled before quickly snapping closed his flip phone and tossing it into the passenger's seat. A long sigh left his lips as he sat in silence for a moment.

“That’s going to be harder to do in person…” He said to himself as he started to tune the radio, pausing when Janet Jackson could be heard. “Gonna be a long week…”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I am not funding another one of your independent films.”

Dale laughed as he switched lanes to let the car behind him pass. “It’s not about that.”

“Then why are you visiting me?”

“Can a guy not come visit his mother, whom he loves so, so very much, just for the sake of visiting her?”

“You, Dale Monk, are not just some guy going to visit his mother.”

Dale hesitated for a moment. “Trixie told me you were in the hospital.”

There was a muffled curse across the line. Dale pictured his mother holding the phone to her chest before she responded.

“Your sister worries too much. I just spent too long in the sun, is all. Doctor said I needed more vitamin D, apparently it’s common to be lacking in it here due to all the overcast, so I figured I’d go soak some up since the sun was out. I lost track of time and that nosey young neighbor called the police saying I was dead in my own backyard. You know, I think they just want to try to steal my land.”

“I’m sure the Bruch couple isn’t trying to steal your land. There’s a housing crash, so I doubt they could afford it.”

“Fine, they were just being nosey then. Now turn around. I’m fine. I don’t want you visiting out of pity.”

“I’m not visiting out of pity. I have a few weeks in between films and I want to go see my mom.”

“You didn’t get kicked out of your apartment again did you?”

“Mom, that was like fifteen years ago. I own my own condo.”

“Then go home to that.”

“I’m already on I-5, you might as well let me know what you want from the deli cause I’m practically there.”

“The deli closed a few months ago, you’ll have to go to Ralphs.”

“Oh, well that’s a shame. I was looking forward to a french dip.”

“They have dips at Ralphs.”

“Yeah, but, Evan makes the best dips.”

“Evan moved to Portland.”

“Oh. Good for him.”

“His mother told me he’s got a boyfriend up there, and they’re going to open a food truck together.”

“That sounds lovely.” Dale said with a soft sigh. He knew exactly where this was headed.

“You know, you could find a boy to open a food truck with.”

“Too bad I’m just as bad at dating as I am cooking.”

“You should be spending your time off trying to find a date that works with you, you know your brother is about to remarry. ”

“Third time’s a charm.” Dale mumbled.

“Be nice to your brother, at least he’s trying. Whatever happened to Chip? You two were a cute couple.”

“Mom, Once more, we were never dating. I know you think it’s some ‘90’s in the closet thing, but I assure you it isn’t. I got to go anyway, my agent is calling. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“I’m telling you I am fine!”

“I know, love you, see you soon.”

She sighed again. “Love you bye.”

Dale ended the call and sighed. He carefully naviaged his phone into playing an audiobook over its ancient speakers. He had a long drive ahead of him, and might as well make the most of it.

~*~*~*~*~

Dale shifted uncomfortably in the seat of his rental. He needed to go fast, and feared his own vehicle would’ve had some kind of issue and slowed him down. He had barely bothered to throw a bag together, and was still dressed for the gala minus the jacket. He reached up and unbuttoned a few buttons as he instructed the voice controls to call his mother.

“Dale?” Her weak answer had come over the line. There was a tremor to it he hadn’t heard in their last conversation just days before.

“Hey mom.” He said softly, eyes already watering at the fragility in her voice. “I am on my way, I will be there as fast as I can be.”

“Oh sweetheart… I’m fine.” She breathes out before a choking cough takes a hold of her. “I just…”

“Got too much sun again?” He jokes, unsure of what he should say.

“Don’t want to lose out on that vitamin D. You know Oregonians tend to have a deficiency.” Her laugh sounded like it had been laced with static and made the hairs on his neck stand up.

“Someone told me that once.”

“Are they coming with you? They sound smart.”

“No, it’s just me.” Dale says with a laugh. Even in what could be her last moments she still wanted him to bring home a date. “How messed up would that be. ‘Hey, I know we just met but I want you to meet my dying mother really quick.”

She laughed that thick static filled laugh again. He could hear her start to say something when another voice is picked up by the phone.

There is a muffled conversation as Dale merges into another lane, his sisters voice then rings across the line.

“She is holding in there, but needs rest. The doctors have her medicated but they don’t know how long she’ll last. How far out are you?”

“I’ve still got about ten hours left of driving. Trix you have to keep me updated.”

“Don’t worry mama’s boy, I will. Just get here safely, we think she’s waiting on you.”

Dale tried to choke down the sob that hit him at those words. “Okay, I’ll do my best.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The car is silent as Dale once again merges onto the I-5. Three weeks spent sorting out funerals and possessions. The house was technically his, having bought it almost twenty years ago for his mother to retire into. But he knew he wasn’t going to go back to it, so he gifted it to his sister to sell. His brother had showed up to help sort through all the things.

An entire life divided up into Donation, Dump, Divy as the three of them sorted it over.

He had a few boxes in his trunk, mostly with his childhood things that he chose to keep, but there were two boxes in particular that burned a hole in his brain. Dale looked through the rearview, eyes flickering momentarily to the two matching white boxes, one labeled Dale, the other Chip.

When going through the attic his sister had found a set of boxes labeled for each of them, and a fourth box labeled for Chip. None of them knew of the existence of these boxes before, and their stark white exterior left no clues as to what they contained.

Dale knows he should go home and just open them. Or he should just drop Chip’s box off at his house and leave it at that. As much as he is dying to know what’s inside, he also cannot bear the thought. As he pulls back into the strange town of Elias, he feels the urge to get back to work. So he flicked on his blinker and turned towards headquarters.

He was going to have a lot of apologies to make.

#Solo-Dale #Self-para #idk if this is anything but the idea wouldn't leave me alone #tw: mentions of loss #tw: mentions of death #Someone dies but it's off- screen

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drewoclock · 3 months

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My Keyboard's Secret

Originally published October 6th, 2014

I had just set my alarm perfectly. Sixteen minutes for me to fall asleep and six hours for me to sleep--it was the scientifically perfect circumstances for going to bed right at that moment. So of course, I started playing my keyboard.

I played for a while before I thought I heard a noise. I paused briefly before playing on, but the noise persisted. It was quiet, and I tried to identify it. I thought it might be scurrying and immediately envisioned a malicious squirrel, scurrying under my furniture like a true thug. I got up and surveyed the area, but no critters. I briefly considered that my roommate may be hiding in my room preparing to kill me. I checked under the bed. No roommate. I was alone.

And so I went back to playing, more cautious. The noise was still there. Eventually I oscillated between quick bursts of playing and not playing, and I noticed the noise seemed to stop when I stopped playing. So in order to further my investigation, I had to keep playing. The sound was beginning to sound less random and more rhythmic. A rhythmic mystery sound--could it be my roommate next door having sex? I realized he was alone--could it be my roommate masturbating? I realized that sound would not have persisted so long. I stopped playing and noticed something--the noise was continuing. I had been wrong; there was no link between my playing and the noise.

I really listened now, good and hard. I suspected it might be drums that I was hearing, but how? Was my keyboard playing the drums? I cranked the volume of my keyboard. The noise was no louder. If it was my keyboard playing these drums, it should be very loud right now. I hit various buttons on my keyboard to test this, and sure enough, everything was uncomfortably loud--except this noise, which was uncomfortably quiet. It probably wasn't my keyboard.

I had an idea. I've heard this noise before. Distant, barely audible rhythms? It's my iPod, having been left on and blasting through my ear phones. I victoriously retrieve my iPod from my backpack to see that it's off. I don't have any other electronic devices, but quickly running out of ideas, I momentarily wondered if I owned a secret iPod that I never told myself about. I decided this was a bad idea.

It definitely wasn't my laptop--that's hooked up to my speakers and cranked (because my laptop doubles as my alarm clock). Was it from outside? It's a party kind of neighborhood; maybe Sunday night is begging for some loud music on the streets. But no, it wasn't. The outside world was hardly buzzing. Desperate, I powered off my keyboard.

The sound stopped.

I powered it back on and the sound continued. I decided to follow the noise with my ear and, just as I suspected, I found my ear at the keyboard speakers. Now the noise was very clear: With my ear pressed directly to the speaker at its loudest volume, I could hear the sounds of jazz.

I know my keyboard has prerecorded keyboard tracks, and jazz is a reasonable track to have, so I chalk this up to a bizarre malfunction. My keyboard is playing a jazz track very quietly, repeatedly, and no amount of button mashing can stop it. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it's definitely distracting to my keyboard playing. I groan, knowing I'll have to put fixing my keyboard on my list of things to do.

My ear is still to the keyboard. The song isn't bad, but it's changing. The piano I had been hearing has now been supplanted by very brassy instruments. It's still jazz, but it sounds less and less justified for being on my keyboard. What's going on? Is my keyboard secretly playing jazz music while I'm trying to play my own music? The only way this makes sense is if...

I grab my iPod and tune into the radio, one ear on the speaker and the other in my ear bud. With the very first radio station I heard, I found a match. My keyboard was playing the music from a local jazz radio station, and so quietly you could barely hear it.

How is this possible? I don't know. How do I fix this? I probably can't. What can I do? I'm guessing nothing. I suppose I can relax having solved the mystery. I can keep playing my keyboard instead of sleeping. And I guess I can be sort of proud. I don't know many musicians get to have an instrument that's always playing its own music.

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dzpenumbra · 10 months

Text

7/1/23

I'm happy to be able to visually see myself getting in better shape. I really didn't realize how sedentary I had been. Every summer I have had trails to walk and rivers to comb for stones, and this summer I don't. I rarely leave my apartment at all. I think it's one of the first years I've been like this since I started getting really into hiking.

Now? If I want to go to the National Park near me, it's gonna be a $50 car rental, plus an entry fee to the park. Unless I can find a different place. My #1 top priority "will rent a car for this no matter what" trip is finding a stone beach somewhere. I will legit pull an all nighter (like every night) and just stay up, drive there at... well... around now, around 6 or something, and just spend all day barefoot combing the beach for cool rocks. That is a fucking dream come true.

I wish I had more uses for stones and stuff, like artistic uses. There's always jewelry but tumbling takes so fucking long, and wrapping them is a skill I just haven't really fully grasped. Well... that all comes with practice, doesn't it?

So yeah, not going out has done much more damage to me than just social deprivation, it's actually affecting my physical health. My blood pressure, my cholesterol, my weight. But doing yoga and exercise every day has really been getting me back in shape and I'm really happy for that.

I didn't do a ton today. The usual, really. Yoga, workout, games. Then I did a stream for a few hours. Started with watching skate videos while eating dinner, I like it. It feels less lonely than watching videos alone, even if no one is watching with me.

Some guy came back who... last time I saw him was super fucking rude in my chat. I barely know this guy. He raided my stream right when I was setting up a new Rimworld colony (with like 4 viewers) and I was explaining the whole story so far... like... setting up the plot for the stream. So he raided at the perfect time to get a summary of the plot so far, leading to the beginning of the playthrough. And this motherfucker, as I'm telling the backstory, is spamming @ me in the fucking chat, like 4 or 5 times. And I'm like... "yes, what's up, I'm trying to set up the story." And he goes... "how you been?" I had like 4 or 5 people there from past streams and shit who were there for the Ideology setup and all that, so... there were people invested in the story already... and this dude is spamming chat to ask me how I've been when he doesn't actually care. I was a hair away from banning him, and honestly... I probably should have. I can't remember the last time he was in my chat and actually gave a fuck about what was going on in the stream. He just fucking talks about himself and his stream and the games he plays.

Good lord, I know too many fucking people like that. Is that why they seek out small streamers? So they can just talk about themselves on someone else's stream and just make the entire thing about themselves? Like calling a radio station and just rambling on the phone about yourself until they cut you off? Is that what this is? Ugh.

Well, today, he decided to tell me that he is going hiking tomorrow. And he lost 20 pounds. And he still plays Rocket League. And he snowboards, but doesn't like skateboarding for no reason at all. As my entire stream at that point was watching skate videos and eating. Kinda fuckin weird, in hindsight. It really sucks when it's just you and one or two other people, if they start to dominate and you... you know... lead the stream... because you're the streamer and they're tuning in to watch you... supposedly... then they get pissy. It's fucking weird. It's like... I don't know, I feel like it's kind of a residual habit of people being on social media too much, and seeing a chatroom on Twitch and thinking it's Twitter and they're the star or something. I don't know.

Anyway, he left after like 10 minutes. Right when I transitioned into working on the visualizer. I did that for a few hours, made another cool kaleidoscope-themed one. Total of about 3.5 hour stream. And then I ended stream and played Hades for the rest of the night. And Hades is pretty kick ass, I like it a lot so far.

And that's about all for today, honestly. I want to get outside more, so maybe I can get out for a walk tomorrow if the weather is nice? And I got an email this morning from my landlord saying they're doing an annual event at my building where they do like a parking lot party, and there are games and shit, like axe throwing and shit. That's gonna be pretty sweet. I'm thinking of going. I mean... if it gets weird and awkward or uncomfortable, I can just go back to my apartment, it's right there. It's just been so fucking long since I've done any stuff like this. Like going to a fair, or a farmers market or something. It's been... close to 4 years? I think I went to one social event about a year into the pandemic, my therapist at the time went with me and I brought my dog. It was an art thing, I don't really know how to describe it, like demonstrations and workshops and shit. But that was like... the only thing I've been to since... since rock climbing on my birthday in October of 2019. That's a long fucking time. That's like... a full college degree worth of time.

I don't know why it spooks me. Maybe because I'm in my late 30's and I think the only people my age that might even be there are like... guaranteed to have kids. Maybe it's just because I'm alone. The more I think about it, I don't think it's this "out of practice" excuse my reflexes keep coming up with. I think it's just going to be a naturally awkward situation for me, considering I'm an introvert. I will be a lone person in their late 30's, and I do not typically like approaching people. It's always been awkward for me, no one in my family is remotely like that, and no one in the social circles I grew up in, and my family talked a lot of shit about people like that... extroverts... so... It's not really formed into my natural behavioral patterns at all, and I get a lot of reflexes saying "bad things will happen if you just approach people". Like... okay, maybe an example. If I, as a single childless man in his late 30's, went up and complimented a woman on how well behaved their child was being... my reflexes tell me that's weird and something bad will happen. My logical brain says... "if you said that to your older brother, he'd be really happy someone acknowledged it." My reflex mind goes, "you're going to weird people out". And that inner conflict is very stressful.

But again, as weird as it sounds? If I had cigarettes? I'd be fine. Not even kidding. If I had cigarettes, I'd have a box of 20 tickets out of social situations with no questions asked. Because 90% of people do not want you smoking near them. So... you can just say "I'm going to walk away from you right now without having to explain myself, because I will be smoking this plant, and you don't want me doing that around you. In fact, we have a designated area to do that." Then I can take my overwhelm or whatever and bring it over to a bench and just sit there and stare off at a plant or a wall or something, and take deep breaths and chill a bit. Dude, I am tempted to get a non-nicotine vape just for this purpose. I don't know if there are any actual... healthy vapes. I would just vape weed, but good lord would that make the problem 10,000 times worse. Hmm... I'm going to have to look into this. I was just picturing myself going to a smoking bench and like... chewing in a stick or something. But actually smoking something, even if it isn't nicotine, or even technically smoking... that would not just replace the ritual but make me blend in better.

Fucking crazy how... you just learn really specific ways of living. And then people give you shit and tell you you're unhealthy because of the way you learned how to live, and you want to be smart and live healthier, so you just start stripping "bad habits" completely unaware that it's absolutely a game of Jenga. Sometimes those habits are really important ones, that do much more than just fill a chemical need. Like my old thing with eating ice cream every night. It wasn't so much about the sugar, or the dairy, it was about emotional comfort in a time of grief. It's much easier (for me, at least) to just sweat out physical withdrawals as my body adjusts, than it is to form an entirely new way of grieving. So when you get it in your head that what you're doing is just quitting a chemical dependency, but you are unaware that you are also removing a social anxiety coping tool, a stress regulation tool, a weight management tool, a time/attention regulation tool... it gets fucking messy.

Anyway, point being... I need to get out in the world more. I'm definitely feeling it. First is a walk, I really need to get some sticks to use as stakes for my tomato and beans (my beans are both already over a foot tall). Then trips to the skatepark. Maybe a farmer's market visit on sunday? It's only about 2 blocks away. All working up to the parking lot party thing on the 12th. I can do it. I have been streaming effortlessly, and talking to people completely naturally. I just need to show myself that I can do it, and gradual increments help a lot. Also, AirPods. AirPods help a lot.

Tarot time, it's getting super late again.

Past - Eight of Swords, inverted (Feeling trapped and powerless. Being conditioned and complacent, not being able to see objectively. But if you can, this is an opportunity to remove yourself from that trap.) Present - Page of Swords (Childlike awe and wonder, epiphany. Encountering wisdom but unable to process it. Keen intellect, strong will, but lacks context and experience.) Future - Three of Cups, inverted (Celebration, calling in good fortune, joy. Social gathering, a heartfelt belonging in a community.)

This one starts with inverted Eight of Swords. Eight of Swords represents self-imposed limitations. Meh, maybe that's not the best way of putting it, because The Devil is also about self-imposed traps (though it's much more about indulgence and impulse gratification traps, imo). Eight of Swords feels like the world imposing a trap, but a shift in perspective from the sufferer reveals that it's really just an illusion.

This is connected to Page of Swords in the Present position. Page of Swords is the embodiment of epiphany. The excitement of discovering and revealing the truth.

And this is connected to inverted Three of Cups in the Future position. Three of Cups is about social gatherings with friends.

What does this mean? Hmm... I would see the inverted Eight of Swords being the residual effects of peer pressure and just... shitty social treatment. How it keeps me bound and frozen, feeling like there is danger all around, but I am bound with ribbons and the danger only appears that way. When really, I'm the same person I was before all that, and I can just go and be like I was before. That sorta... trap that was built by others, but I keep myself in it... kinda thing. The inversion I would see as how deep I have fallen into it, how much its interfering with my life. The Page of Swords is the epiphany, the big realization, but also... not really knowing what to do with it. Like Mickey Mouse in Fantasia is kinda where I would see it inverted, this luckily is upright. So... there are still some blemishes with the Page, but the awe and wonder and excitement makes it worth it. Now... what I'm struggling to connect here is... how the Page of Swords connects to inverted Three of Cups. Inverted Three of Cups... I mean, if I take it super literally would be... something preventing me from going to a party. Which is like... I mean, I literally just wrote about that. So... okay. I mean... is this a warning? Like... hmm... gears are turning. So the Eight of Swords says the cause... the Page of Swords shows what I'm doing about it... which is a great realization but not really knowing what to do with it... and the Three of Cups shows the result... that not knowing means I don't go. The doubt, the feeling incapable and "not ready" means I don't go, and I miss out on making connections. Meeting people. I guess I was reading a bit too deep, it seems to make pretty clear sense.

Placeholder card? Five of Cups. Fucking again. I swear, I literally got this last night. And I shuffled the fuck out of the deck, I always do. If anyone wants to do the math on pulling the same card in the same position in a 4 card draw in a 78 card deck... feel free. Five of Cups is grief and suffering. It's not a fun card. It definitely shows the dominant force behind this whole narrative. Loss/grief/suffering caused the Eight of Swords, discovery and analysis of the loss/grief/suffering narrative was the Page, and the continued echoes of the loss/grief/suffering cause the disruption in social gatherings.

So again, the lesson is... take care of the grieving self. Self-care. Be kind and loving to myself. And these traps will start to fall apart on their own - like in yoga when you struggle to get into a pose because you're involuntarily tensing up muscles that are preventing you from getting into it, and then you learn to relax them and it just... happens - and I will start to reintegrate with more ease.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

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godzexperiment · 1 year

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sampling of radio station nix chaos/just modern verse thoughts

"I am not an car enthusiast- not an car hater like they serve purposes. I hate them though, like there is no reason I should know how to jump on the hood and scramble back off the car so well." Nix studied the tally marks of the days encounters on his hand. Wasn't even that many listeners at the moment. So he really was kind of just talking to himself while delaying an ad read. "Which sounds so weird like oh this guy is so used to motorized vehicles seeming to personally magnetize towards him; he's like the frog in frogger embodied." Eyes glancing at the time; setting up his next set of songs and trying to locate his energy drink can. ----------- He was perched on the back of the chair; wings stretched out before tucking close. Deciding to fall backwards, hooking his legs so just dangled upside down. It was almost time to pack up and head home. Took him an second to realize what song he'd accidentally added into the program. Entirely falling off, fumbling to shut it off- turning the mic on as he cursed himself out in multiple languages. Had accidentally added one of his songs into the program by accident. Not the worst thing in the world. But it wasn't like meant to be shared with whoever was listening to the radio at this hour. Playing something else as scoured, deleted any others that might have accidentally made it in. Realizing the mic was on and sighing. "So uh, tired mistakes only human mistakes here folks. That song was far too slow paced and not meant to be in the list."

-----------

"So most people ignore me; that's how I like it and even some of the most up in your face buy what I'm selling avoid me." Spinning his knife around on his pointer finger while talking. "Anyways that means it takes like really determined souls with extra irritability to bother me generally." Nix had gone prompted into the topic by somebody that reminded him of it. Calling in with what had been quite some nonsense. "I'm just trying to get where I am headed, on time as this guy spots me and I guess decided I needed the speech right? I'm just like okay what speech is this guy seeking to give me." Eyes rolling as he recounted the situation. "Started with the ole are you religious- into that I should really think about seeking Heaven out." Another twirl of the knife on his finger before tossing it up with his finger; catching it. "I'm like ah okay it's this flavor of encounter; guess I was extra tired and I just was like you're sort of in the way of that endeavor." ---------- All he had wanted to do- was stay home; yet managed to drag himself out anyways. Empty building, only the noises of the electricity and other environmental noise. Normally so welcome but he just brought the can out of the backpack- he hated them but he'd needed an way to carry shit. Sipping at it as settled into the room; immediately collapsing into the chair. "Allfuckingrighty." Scowling at his reflection in an monitor. Bag dropped to mostly under the desk. He could do this, had to do it and it might also slightly help curb the whirlwind eating at him. Turning the mic on, off the idle tunes and automatic ad reads. "So I just got in and how do we feel about 15 minute multi parted folk punk songs?" Joking, though he so was sorely tempted to put the idea in his mind on. Be an little kind to any souls that might be bothering to listen however. "We're actually starting off with some rock; to counter balance the music that was playing before I got here but just saying if anybody is down I can oblige." Clicking play on the music so far sorted out after muting. Down went some of the energy drink. Trying to ignore the annoying tastes that were only part of the product thanks to stupid angelic taste buds. ---------- Music was blaring; echoing in every room both second floor and not. Every little project abandoned for the moment. As Nix's fingers brushed along tops of bottles- hovering over the whole space in general thoughtfully. Didn't take long to pluck one that seemed tempting. Open, long testing sip- was the moments pick of fitting the energy. Swaying as moved away from the spot. Beginning to move along with the music, let it fill up the space inside as well. Not long before was drinking and bouncing along in only the way he could. Twirling around with precise, stupid would have dizzied anybody else type of speed. And when the bottle was empty- it got tossed gently into the nearby bin for cleaning to recycle later. While he let his wings out, spread then tucked close as he spun. Eventually the songs playing stopped and so did he. Moving to turn some more on- while he did something more constructive like read about history. ---------- It was so incredibly stupid and bit of an waste of supplies. Yet that person, only one he'd really known for ages was put onto the paper. And then once finished- he took one of his lighters to it. Watching it being eaten up. Not in fear of the heat or being burnt; watching before dropping it into the nearby metal bin. Petulant middle fingers skyward at the ceiling, floor above his head and full awareness the action was to empty nothingness. Flicking the lighter an few times before pocketing it. Okay, okay maybe he needed to get away from the building. Before got eaten up by his insides. And he found his phone- hit one of his few contacts. Sending an text inquiring if they would be interested in late night ice cream. The yes had him quickly grabbing the nearest jacket. Rushing out into the night as texted where to meet him. Felt an bit cruel using their sunshine personality to warm up his abyss.

He was going to pay for the ice cream though. Be very present and attentive. Didn't light up- he chewed some gum instead while walking along. Ruffling up his hair as gave an little glance into an window he passed. Checking the time and his phone to respond to he of course didn't mind how they were dressed. After had been an I'll be coming from an party text.

#religious cw #drinking cw #heavy cw #smoking mention cw #<< dream you cannot escape >> drabbles

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swiftrolli · 2 years

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Stitcher listen later offline

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#Stitcher listen later offline

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egelundcurry · 2 years

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Getting Tunes On the web: Suggestions `

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