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tsunflowers · 3 years

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this is the sewer freak romance novel we have all been waiting for but that I will never actually write

Ok so the setting is in what used to be America in the aftermath of what was probably a nuclear war but no one ever goes into it and they just call it The Blight. Humanity rode it out by living in underground bunkers but within living memory they’ve finally been able to build habitat bubbles on the surface and fill them with breathable air so they can at least see sun again. There are several bunkers which maintained digital contact the entire time and while they were underground they built tunnels to each other so they could trade but they’ve had to seal off the tunnels and now you have to travel the blighted landscape to reach other habitats. Bc years back a bunch of people were like “we’re not waiting for your pussy habitat bubbles we can hack it on the surface right now” so they went out and got irradiated and the bunker people wouldn’t let them back in. So they started living in the tunnels and became sewer freaks. The sewer freaks are known to eat people and everyone is convinced they’re just biding their time until they can storm the bunkers and take over the habitats so they have to take the overland path even though it’s objectively more dangerous. The habitats are largely self-sufficient but there are some specialty parts that can only be produced in one habitat… and they just ran out. Enter our heroine

She’s named Ticonderoga bc lots of people are named after silly things from the old world but she goes by Ty. She has pcos or another condition that makes it very unlikely that she’ll ever be able to give birth which makes her uniquely expendable among the young women of the habitat. There’s this huge push in the community to expand the population now that they have the habitat bubbles but she knows she can’t be a part of that and people actually warn the boys her age away from her bc she won’t be able to have kids. Bc in a closed society like this everyone’s medical status is everyone’s business. This combined with the fact that she doesn’t have a job lined up for when she turns 18 bc her mentor died and The Council silently got rid of the job completely means that she’s selected to join the expedition to the other habitat. Btw the job is the storage and maintenance of physical artifacts and documents from the habitats history and from before The Blight. Everyone else has relied on technology for so long that they’ve forgotten the value of Real items and they’re like “didn’t we digitize that ages ago? who give a shit” but ty is Retro and she knows that holding something in your hands gives it a totally different feeling. She also likes to draw by hand. I kind of want her mentor to be a cool lesbian but she does die. Wait I had a great idea I’ll get back to this later

The rest of the expedition team is like older guys who’ve done this before and they’re kind of hazing her and telling her scary stories about sewer freaks. The general vibe is like “if you can’t keep up why are you even here :/" and she’s like it’s not like I asked to be here fuckers. But she’s actually kind of enjoying it in a weird way bc there are all these mutant plants that she’s never seen records of before bc the habitat bubble people ignore the outside world as much as possible. One morning while the guys are breaking camp (she tried to help at first but they were like “don’t chip a fingernail girlie”) she sits down to sketch a mutant flower. Which is hard bc she’s in a hazmat suit but she wants to record it somehow. And when she looks up she realizes the guys left without her. It’s not like they left her for dead bc she has a gps and radio communication. She could call them up and be like “hey fuck you guys.” But it was seriously a dick move and she’s really upset about it. She turns off her comms to kind of process and figure out what to do to catch up/how she’s going to confront them when she does and then suddenly….:.. a sewer monster appears on the surface!!!

We get like two full pages describing the sewer freak’s physicality at this point so as a reader you’re like ok she seriously wants to get hot and heavy with this sewer monster. He has, you know, smooth translucent skin and huge dark eyes and delicate long-fingered hands and he might be bioluminescent although she probably can’t tell that during the day. And he is definitely like cut also. He is one ripped sewer freak

Ty has this emergency signal she’s supposed to set off if she’s separated from the group and something happens to her but she’s not exactly in the mood to get rescued by a bunch of guys who just ditched her for fun. And besides her analytical brain is whirring at the chance to see and interact with a real sewer freak. So she tries to greet him. They have some trouble interacting bc sewerspeak (the language of the sewer freaks) diverged from English some time ago but they manage to communicate that he thought she was hurt but it’s only her feelings that are hurt. Btw sewer people can sense radio waves or some shit so he got concerned about her when he noticed hers cut off bc he knows habitat people always have radios on. So he thought maybe her suit stopped working. He acts like he’s gonna leave and she’s like “no wait!!” bc she wants to make a tangible connection with him bc that’s her thing. So she gets him to stay long enough for her to sketch him. He’s clearly super impressed by the sketch so she hands it to him and he indicates that he wants to borrow her pencil. He adds his own sketch on the corner of the page, a stylized drawing of the flower she was just drawing. She’s like “oh you draw too?” but he points to the flower drawing and then to himself and she understands that it’s a glyph representing him and he’s named after the flower. (This means the habitat people are named after relics from the old world while sewer people are named after things from the current world. Do you get it) They trade names and then he leaves. She’s like wow! Maybe everything everyone said about sewer freaks was wrong, bc clearly some of them are kind of sexy and intriguing. So she heads off to meet up with her party with a spring in her step. The party actually felt guilty and turned around for her bc they saw her gps signal didn’t move at all and she disappeared from comms but when they see her they’re like wtf why is she is such a good mood?? but something tells her she should not brag to them about her freak encounter so she pretends she encountered mutant wildlife and scared it off and they’re a little bit impressed

I just realized if they’re so paranoid and their technology’s so good they could probably invent some vehicles to go between habitats so they wouldn’t have to walk it. Pretend I have an explanation for that one

She gets to the habitat with the group. It has the exact same layout as her home but she can’t stop noticing all the things that are subtly different. They have different slang, and the food they grow and cook is different bc of the backgrounds of the people in this one, and stuff. Also the pregnancy thing is probably more intense compared to her home. Like in her habitat there’s social pressure but here it’s a civic duty. She sees a lot of really young moms and people who clearly don’t want children. She realizes that her infertility actually gives her more choice and autonomy than most women in her society and it’s an uncomfortable realization. Can I have uhhh, unsubtle grappling with conflicting feelings about motherhood as a prerequisite for adulthood using a sci-fi setting for 600, Alex?

Ty wants to get Out Of There and maybe see that spicy little sewer freak on the return trip but there are all these protocols and rituals they have to observe. They have to formally trade. They have to spend the night. They have to accept a meal and travel provisions. Since I guess this is the shitty evangelical Christian habitat the meal is probably like, unseasoned chicken and green bean casserole or something

Idk if Ty has any friends back in her home habitat. I kind of want her to have a gay guy friend who shares her reproduction related struggles bc he’s like “can I live openly as a gay man knowing that people will judge me for not Doing My Duty? even if I go to the medical center and donate sperm am I comfortable fathering children I will never actually be a father to?” so in that way her mentor could be a mentor to him as well since she’s an example of an adult lesbian in their society, and maybe that’s how they met. So she’s also like "man I wanna get back home and hang out with my bff again"

when shes home her parents are like omg we were so worried about you out in the Blighted landscape. while you were gone The Council gave us some of your mentor's stuff that she wanted you to have. and it's like a very tender handwritten note about how much she meant to her mentor that makes her cry and also some blueprints of the now-sealed tunnel opening?? basically her mentor left a coded message telling her to go down to the tunnel opening. she and her bff figure it out together and he's like Uhhh I dont want to go down to the tunnel with the sewer freaks??? but she tells him she met a sewer freak and not only did he not eat her he was smokin hot. if the sewer freaks are like cave dwellers they probably shouldn't have hair but I can't. I need them to have hair. sorry it's not Scientifically Accurate. so anyway she's like "listen it's not like we're going into the tunnels. we're just going Next to them. it's fine"

so they sneak down into the tunnels. it's kind of sad down there. ty's been down there before to cross-reference documents and just to see where her ancestors lived but it's totally different to be down there with just one other person and confront the reality of living in cramped quarters underground. kind of makes her empathize with the sewer freaks as well. when they get to the location the mentor marked they realize that there's a sealed hatch with a broken lock and inside it are mysterious items that were deposited by the sewer freaks! their mentor must have been in contact with the sewer freaks all along and she knew they weren't evil monsters! some weird shit she said starts to make a lot more sense. if ty kept the drawing she puts it in the hatch to try to make contact and if she gave it to him she sees it in the hatch as an attempt at contact

so ty and the sexy sewer guy strike up a gift cache based friendship. they don't meet in person but every time she manages to sneak away to the tunnel he's taken her gift and left something new. she's having to train in a new job that she's not that interested in but knowing that she'll have sewer presents makes her everyday life exciting. this goes on for a while and then one day she receives a drawing of a person crawling through the hatch and she's like omg. I could crawl through the hatch. there's also a drawing of a sunrise so she's like does that mean I should do it at sunrise...? will he be there....? and she decides to fucking go for it. her friend stays behind bc he's scared and also she needs him to cover for her but she has a radio. she wiggles through the hatch as early as possible in the morning and who is waiting for her but the handsome sewer freak!!

he brought a light bc he knows habitat people need them but he personally can see in the dark. she sees his bioluminescence for the first time and is like Wow.... and on his side he’s like amazed and totally hot for her once he sees her out of the hazmat suit bc he wasn’t 100% sure she was human until then. All the adults say habitat people are like humans under the suits but he had never seen one in real life so in the back of his mind he kind of doubted it. Both sides have the thing where they’re like “we’re the only People.” But actually he knew she was a People the moment she drew for him bc spontaneously creating art and then freely giving it away is such a uniquely human gesture

he takes her down through the tunnels and she sees that they've been decorated and added to and the sewer people have a whole civilization down there. they can also go onto the surface freely but they get sunburned real fast so they try to limit it. but the tunnels are now dotted with surface exits and that's how he seemed to appear and disappear when she was on the surface. they just kind of explore for a while bc she's so curious but he clearly wants to lead her somewhere. they get to a large but cozy room full of bioluminescent moss and mushrooms and a ton of sewer freaks just hanging out and who is there but... her dead mentor?!

It turns out The Council actually tried to kill her mentor for being pro-freak!!! They were like “see how much you like those sewer freaks when they’re eating you!” and left her for dead in the tunnels. but since she was friends with the freaks they did not eat her, they took her in and healed her using sewer freak blood and now she has some powers and she’s married to a lady sewer freak

The eating people thing IS true but listen. It’s hard to get protein as a sewer freak ok?? So they’ve been practicing endocannibalism all along (eating the dead members of their community). And they’ve eaten some habitat people who they killed in self defense, and maybe way back in the first few generations of sewer people they did kill and eat habitat people for no reason. But they don’t do that anymore and they feel really bad about. Actually they don’t even do endocannibalism anymore bc they raise cave fish and hunt surface animals but it’s ceremonial

so ty is like whoa i can't believe it, but I do believe it, and her mentor is like "you can't tell the habitat people. they're not ready to accept it. but you can change that. your generation needs to be open minded and accept the new earth and the new people and I think that you are a special girl and if anyone can change minds you can" and she returns to the habitat bubble with the gears in her mind turning over and over wondering how she can possibly accomplish this mission...

I said she would my fair lady the sewer freak but maybe thats book two. and I decided while writing this that the sewer freaks do have their own culture so it's not like he needs to be taught to be human. but I still want her to dress him up in normal clothes and take him home to her parents

#sewer freak romance

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takerfoxx · 3 years

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Well, in honor of the Rebellion sequel FINALLY being announced, here’s something I was going to do today anyway! Here’s the second part of the crew of Walpurgis Nights watch The Rebellion Story, stretching from Madoka arriving at the school to Hitomi’s nightmare!

Note: I originally was going to write this as one big piece and release it all at once, but then I realized what a dumb idea that would be, so it’s going to get released in chunks as they’re finished.

Note the 2nd: Every time a prolonged conversation takes place, just assume that they’re pausing the movie to talk.

Reminder:

G=Gretchen

H=Homulilly

Op=Ophelia

Ok=Oktavia

Ca=Candeloro/Mami

Ch=Charlotte

...

G: You know, I can’t get over Tavi having legs, or Fee having hair.

Op: It does look good, I gotta say. Must’ve been a bitch to keep it looking so fresh though.

Ch: And probably sets fewer low-hanging branches alight or set off fewer sprinklers.

Op: As far as you know. That style is smokin’

…

H: Seeing all those boys is…weird.

Ch: I know what you mean. I mean, I can picture what they look like, and I’ve seen recreations, but even still…

G: It is interesting to think about. I mean, here it’s perfectly normal for girls to get into relationships with other girls. But there girls like us would be a minority.

Op: Can’t imagine why. Now that I’m seeing them…not really getting the appeal. They don’t even have tits!

Ch: I guess you had to be there.

Ok: Hey, is it true that girls who liked other girls got picked on a lot?

Ca: Well, that’s an oversimplification of a serious problem, and I certainly never saw it happen. But then, I was a little…sheltered. And yes, in some places of the world, that does unfortunately happen. And worst.

G: Poor girls.

Ch: And guys. It happens to the gay guys too.

Op: I never got the gay thing. I mean, using the word as an insult. Like, why would that even be something to be ashamed of?

Ca: That’s…a really complicated question, and I’m not sure I’m really qualified to explain.

G: Well, I think they’re just being silly! I don’t see how anyone could see anything wrong with this!

=Gretchen leans over to give Homulilly a small kiss on the lips. Homulilly is more than happy to reciprocate=

Op: GAAAAY!

=Homulilly smacks Ophelia upside the head=

Ca: All of…that aside, I have to say, this is sort of nostalgic.

Ch: Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?

Ca: Oh, relax. I mean, just this. The school. The girls and the boys. The uniforms. Don’t worry, I’m not going to be struck with an uncontrollable desire for penis.

Op: Though if you do, I know a girl who-

Ca: Thank you, Ophelia. Please don’t finish that thought.

…

Op: Ha. Still a rebel, even then.

Ca: You were. You definitely were. Even more than this version. At least this version of you is going to school.

Op: And Tavi’s the goody-goody, sneaking off…hold up.

Ok: What?

Op: Rewind it a bit.

Ch: Okay…?

Op: So, does this version of me and Oktavia…do we live together?

Ch: Huh?

H: What?

Op: How would she know about me slacking on my homework after school if she wasn’t there? Like, in the same house?

Ca: W-Well, friends visit after school, sometimes to work on homework…

Ok: No, I’m going with Ophelia. We were totally shacking up. I mean, look at us. Look how irritated I am with her. That is love.

Ca: Girls, I hate to burst your bubble, but nobody was actually dating anyone back then.

Op: Oh, come on! Look at us!

Ok: Yeah, I mean the only other explanation is…

=silence=

Op: Is what? What are you…Oh, my God.

G: What’s wrong?

=Ophelia and Oktavia both start to look very uncomfortable=

Op: Candy, tell us the honest truth here: are we sisters?

Ca: What?!

Ch: Oh my God, I’m not hearing this.

Op: If you hid it so we wouldn’t freak out, I understand, but we really need to know-

Ca: No! No, you are not sisters, and you did not live together in our timeline! You knew each other for little over a month when we died, and only really got along for about two weeks!

Op: Oh, thank the flames.

Ok: Whew.

Ca: Seriously, what’s wrong with you? I already told you your stories.

G: Yeah, and Hitomi’s known Oktavia and me for a very long time! I think she’d mention it if you two were related.

H: Plus you look nothing alike. At all.

Ok: Okay! Okay! It was a momentary slip of stupid! We panicked! Leave us alone.

H: Would you two have stopped dating if it turned out you were related?

=Ophelia and Oktavia exchange looks=

Op: Probably not.

Ok: Nope.

Ch: Great. Now that we’ve established yet again how degenerate you two are, can we please continue the movie?

…

G: Huh?

Ok: What’s her deal?

Ca: I…kind of remember her? She was a teacher, and I think I had her my first year. But it’s been so long that-

Op: This lady’s bugging.

Ch: Too many shots in her coffee.

Op: I don’t think that’s alcohol.

Ok: Look at the class. Look at us! We’re all as confused as…we are…huh.

Ch: Don’t think about it too hard.

Op: Okay, seriously! Who allowed this lady around children?

Ca: I can remember her being a little eccentric, but this is on a whole new level.

Ch: Well, as the first few minutes proved, this whole city’s totally drugged out of its mind.

G: Does she want the world to end?

Ok: You know, I’m kind of feeling her.

G: Eh?!

Ok: Okay, look! Way back in the day, before I had a reliable gig, I used to sub every now and then for the FIB’s music department, and let me tell you, after a couple days of trying to keep those sand crabs under control, the apocalypse wasn’t sounding too bad!

Ch: How bad does her class have to be for her to go that far off the deep end?

Ok: Well, me and Fee are in the class.

=Ophelia snickers=

G: Oh, I saw Hitomi!

H: Fantastic.

Ok: I thought you two were cool now.

H: Eh…

Ch: Hey, kids! It’s time to play, “Spot the important characters!”

Ca: Did our hair really stand out that much? I distinctly remember other kids having bright hair colors!

Ch: Well, if you have a bunch of characters that you’re only animating for one scene, then you gotta skimp on some of the details.

…

G: Oh, there you are, Lilly!

Ca: Okay, this part I remember as being fairly accurate.

H: Huh?

Ca: I mean the bit about you being a transfer student and having been in the hospital for a while.

H: Ah.

=pause=

H: My God, I look stupid.

G: Don’t say that! You look cute!

H: Did I really wear my hair like that?

Ca: Well, no. You wore it straight. And I don’t remember there being glasses.

…

Ca: This part…is different though.

G: Really? How so?

Ca: I didn’t know Homulilly before she showed up.

Op: Yeah, you talked about that before. She just sort of appeared out of nowhere one day?

Ca: Yes. And pretty much just…aggressively inserted herself into our group. I mean, she wasn’t rude about it, but…

H: I was a time-traveler trying to save the only person that had ever cared about me from a terrible fate and had already failed several times. No doubt I wanted to skip the pleasantries.

Ca: I’m s-sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything negative.

H: No offense taken.

Ok: So basically, you had reloaded your save over and over and was skipping the cutscenes so you could get to work on the part you were having trouble on.

H: That is…a remarkably accurate way of putting it. At least I assume that was the reason. I don’t know anything other than I was told, and to be quite frank, I’m glad of it.

Op: Hear fuckin’ hear.

Ok: Cheers. Oh, uh, sorry, Candy.

Ca: Don’t worry about it.

…

Ok: Well, Candy’s really talking you up. Guess you were kind of an ass-kicker, Homulilly.

H: No, it’s like the other version of me said. I was probably in a support role.

Ch: What, with the time-stop thing?

H: Yes.

Ok: Support role, my scaly ass! That is like the most OP power ever! I mean, what could I do?

=pause=

Ok: Uh, that wasn’t a rhetorical question. Candy, what could I do?

Ca: Oh, uh. In addition to your sword, you could use boost pads to jump and heal very quickly.

Op: So a tank, basically.

Ok: See? Just take and give damage! Basic as hell! Now time-stop, that’s a power with some class!

Ch: Plus time-travel.

Ok: Yeah, that’s like the jackpot of unfair.

H: Didn’t do me any good. We all died anyway.

Op: We’re chilling in our expensive, two-story house in a really nice neighborhood watching all this on our expensive big-screen instead of getting our asses beat every night and worrying about homework. I’d say things worked out.

…

Op: GAAAAAAY!

Ca: Oh, come on. It’s just hand-holding.

Op: Look at that blush! Look at it!

H: She has a point. By all accounts I was already pretty infatuated with Gretchen.

=Gretchen blushes=

Ca: Fair enough. GAAAAAAY!

=group cracks up=

Op: Though, seriously. Were any of us straight?

Ca: Well, Oktavia did have that crush on that one boy that supposedly started the whole trouble, and I had a couple of crushes of my own.

Ok: Did you not see me earlier in the movie? I at the very least bisexual!

Op: Or Kyoko-sexual. Everyone’s gay for Kyoko! Even the boys are gay for Kyoko!

G: I don’t really know what that means.

Op: It means the boys find me incredibly attractive, but in a gay sort of way.

G: I still don’t know what that means!

=Oktavia leans over to whisper something in Gretchen’s ear. Gretchen’s eyes go wide=

G: Oooohhhh…

…

Ch: A month? So do the landscape shots just mean a time-skip?

Ok: Okay, we were joking just now, but this is pretty explicitly romantic.

H: As I said, it was at least on my end. Though I don’t understand why he has to be there.

Ca: He was always around, unfortunately. I’m mainly wondering why he’s being so quiet. Or catlike.

H: Why, was he talkative?

Ca: Very.

Op: Huh. Maybe that’s why we got Cheese. We were just used to the animal companion that wouldn’t shut the hell-

=Cheese starts screeching from the other room=

C: Pickinilly! Pickidelly! Picadely whore!

Ch: Great, now you’ve set him off.

=Cheese flies into the room and lands on Homulilly’s flower. She tries not to laugh as he prances about before spying the movie playing=

C: Rat bastard! Rat bastard! Rat bastard!

Op: Where’d he learn that? I didn’t teach him that.

C: Rat bastard! Rat bastard!

Ch: Oh, for the love of…Here, I’ll take him.

=Charlotte offers Cheese her arm, and takes him outside=

Op: I’ll say this: the bird might be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he is smart.

Ok: …did anyone else see the freaking dirigibles flying around in the background, or just me?

….

Op: Shit, those are a lot of airships. Hey, Candy-

Ca: No, those are new also.

Op: Something’s seriously off about this timeline, then.

Ch: Who the hell is that?

G: Oh! It’s Hitomi!

H: Of course it is.

Ch: Huh. Guess she does get more than a cameo.

Op: Jesus Christ, does her entire family all sleep in the same bed? You could fit an entire studio apartment into that thing!

G: Well, we were apparently all pretty well off.

Op: You had a normal-sized twin with a bunch of stuffed animals. She’s captaining the HMS Spoiled Rotten in there.

G: She’s not spoiled!

Op: Look, there are like three queen-sized beds between the six of us. You could put them all together and they still wouldn’t be as big as that monstrosity!

Ch: Isn’t she like living with three other girls now?

G: So? That doesn’t mean anything. Lots of people have roommates.

H: They’re dating.

G: What? What are you talking about? That’s silly to just assume-

Ok: Gretch. C’mon. It’s not a secret.

G: B-But-

Ok: Poly relationships happen all the time.

G: I…how did you find out?

Ok: You do know that I talk to her too, right? And honestly, you’re making more of it than she is.

G: I guess so.

Op: She should’ve brought that bigass bed with her, then. Gotten some use out of it.

…

H: Who’s she calling?

Ok: Oh boy.

Op: Well, well, well! Violin-boy!

Ok: Fantastic. Hey! I sold my soul for you! Hope it was worth it!

Ch: Er, you okay?

Ok: Yeah, I’m fine. I am pretty curious though.

Op: Oh! Stood the fuck up!

Ch: Wow, he just shot his own rich girlfriend down to play with his stringy stick!

Ok: Violins are way more than just stringy sticks! But yeah, he did shoot her right down, didn’t he? Starting to think I dodged a bullet.

H: You literally died.

Ok: I know what I said.

Op: I guess Hitomi dodged the same bullet. Traded in one deadbeat for three smokin’ hot girlfriends. Can’t see how that’s not a win!

G: Uh, her family? Whom she still remembers?

Op: Er…yeah. That’s a good point.

…

Op: Oh, she mad.

Ca: Teenage relationships are just like that sometimes. You feel all these big emotions and-Huh.

Ch: And you throw up yarn all over your room? What’s going on here?

Ok: We’re back on that weird shit again, aren’t we?

Op: Does she not notice any of this?

Ok: She just got shot down by her own boyfriend. Cut her some slack.

Op: Did the bed just…Okay, it ate her. It ate her and threw up even more yarn.

Ca: This is all getting very…witch-like.

G: I thought only Puella Magi could become witches.

Ca: So did I. But clearly my knowledge is very obsolete.

Op: Goddamn, Homulilly! You butterfly-effected the universe something crazy!

H: How is this my fault?

Ch: Oh, there’s another freaky teddy-bear. At least we know how they’re made.

Ok: Teenaged angst?

Ch: Most terrifying force known to mankind.

#WN Rebellion MST

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13eyond13 · 3 years

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i don’t know if you’ve been asked this before, but what’s your take on misa being a lesbian with comphet? personally i agree 100% !!

Hi hi! I don't know if I've been asked before either actually! 😅 Sorry, but this got a bit personal and rambly...

Hmmm... This is one of those things that everyone can interpret for themselves, I would say? Comphet crushes are something I myself was very agonizingly confused by for the longest time; the environment I grew up in wasn't at all gay friendly and extremely sheltering and heteronormative for most of my formative years, and my attractions weren't that easy for myself to define or be confident about most of the time until I was basically in college and out on my own. I do remember what it was like for me to have comphet crushes, though I think it's one of those things that's a bit differently defined and interpreted on an individual level by the person who is experiencing it. Comphet attraction for ME growing up manifested mostly as only liking fictional or totally unavailable guys, and immediately getting uncomfortable and losing interest in them if they actually started liking me back or wanting to be in a real relationship with me. I often repressed and wrote off my very real crushes on girls as silly, platonic "girl crushes," and exaggerated my crushes on guys to properly fit in. I knew on some level that I seemed to actually have stronger interest in girls, and that I appeared to have a harder time wanting to settle into a dating relationship than most of my straight friends. But I could never tell if this was actually being gay. I thought that maybe I was just being picky or lazy or scared, or that I was just too young to want to get serious with a guy in that way. I actually had to spend several years in long-term relationships as an adult with both guys and girls and do a lot of self-reflection and meet a lot of different people before I really felt I knew for sure I was gay due to how well I can repress my own feelings at times. So it's definitely not always an easy thing to figure out or define, even when you're a very introspective type who values being honest with yourself and others.

It's a bit difficult for me to confidently proclaim that Misa's definitely a lesbian who just doesn't know it yet just based on what we see her doing in the story, simply because I think it's something that's up to individual interpretation! Her behaviour is very different than my own most of the time, and relating strongly to their behaviours and such is usually what makes me more confidently decide that a character who wasn't said to be gay in canon isn't straight. I have strong headcanons for characters like Light being gay and repressed because I personally had lots of experiences and behaviours that very closely resemble what we see him go through and perform all throughout the story, for example. Misa, on the other hand, seems pretty open about her feelings and impulsive about acting on them whenever she wants something, so repression and shame and fear aren't that high on the list of qualities I would attribute to her? But I also know something like comphet attraction can manifest completely differently in different personalities and circumstances. And based on what I know about it in general I would say Misa definitely could be interpreted as experiencing comphet attraction in certain ways, too. She seems to decide she's in love with Light based on pretty hasty criteria, picks a fairly obvious choice of a crush that most people wouldn't question her for, and she doesn't seem to be that put off by how little he's genuinely caring about her in return, for example. If she DID just like Light in a comphet sort of way then I guess she probably would actually feel relieved subconsciously that he wasn't genuinely that into her in return. She also displays a bit of homophobia whenever she expresses disgust about L chaining himself to Light; and sometimes these kinds of reactions can come from people being closeted or repressed themselves, or trying to go along with the crowd to avoid being thought of as potentially not straight themselves because they're afraid or in denial or confused.

I would probably say that it's valid to interpret Misa either way in this regard, then! I think it's valid to see her as a comphet attracted lesbian especially if you identify with her behaviours as being like the comphet attraction you experienced yourself. She's a fun and interesting and oddly complicated character, and though it's not my usual first interpretation of her identity and her actions I would be open to seeing her as a repressed lesbian just depending on the story or the ship or whatever. But I ALSO think it's valid for other fans to not want to interpret a character who presents as straight and occasionally homophobic as secretly gay, too. 😅 I maybe sound overly serious about this, but it's just because I think this sort of criteria should be something we normally only use to understand ourselves better, and that it can be a bad idea in real life to try hard to sniff out repressed gayness in other people or to assume that's what's secretly driving their behaviours (especially if it's something like being homophobic, as there are definitely homophobic straight people, too).

Speaking of this topic though, a now-questioning female friend of mine who always seemed 100% confident she was straight growing up actually just sent me a link to a bunch of info about compulsive heterosexuality for girls when we were chatting about it the other day. so maybe I'll link it here in case it's of use to anybody else? 😄

#sorry for such a looooong answer!#i have just been thinking on this topic already lately i guess 😆#misa amane #ask #peanutpower1993 #p

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multiwarblerrps · 3 years

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love aint (blainofsky) chapter 2

summary: A few weeks after their meeting in the hospital, Blaine and Dave run into each other at Scandals, the gay bar in West Lima. word count: 3,257 rating: pg warnings: underaged drinking notes: (semi-S3 canon 1x1 RP written with @multiberryrps) established klaine, eventual blainofsky. 250k+ words and ongoing. Also on: AO3

“Man, they’re getting their asses kicked today.”

Dave gave a little laugh as he sipped his beer, finishing it off and setting the empty bottle back down on the bartop. He was watching a football game on a small 14-inch TV stashed behind the bar. Only he and the bartender were watching; everyone else in the bar much rather preferred watching the music video clips play along with the booming music.

It wasn’t often that Dave ventured out to Scandals and when he did before, he was still in the closet. He had to sneak away and almost assume a completely different identity back when he was hiding who he really was. But things were different now. He was out and somewhat proud-- he was still adjusting-- and being at Scandals was the most comfortable place he felt like he could be himself.

“Hey, can I get another?” Dave asked, watching as the bartender gladly went to fetch him his drink. It was the first time in a while he’d pried his eyes away from the TV for more than a minute or two and he took the time to survey the place. There was the obvious share of regulars but there was one guy at the complete opposite side of the bar that he didn’t see quite as often-- one Blaine Anderson.

Blaine had just settled at the end of the semi-crowded bar and exchanged pleasantries with his favorite bartender-- it had been a while since he’d visited. He tried not to make a habit out of going since he’d been with Kurt. After ordering his usual drink he just happened to glance down at the other end of the bar where he saw a familiar face.

They locked eyes and when the look of recognition passed over them, Dave smiled and lifted his hand for a meek wave hello. It had been a little while since they’d last seen each other and Dave felt a little bad that he hadn’t reached out to Blaine like he had promised that evening in his hospital room.

With his drink in his hand, Blaine took the initiative to get closer to Dave. “Fancy seeing you here,” he smiled as he took the barstool next to him. He felt a bit relieved to know someone in the crowd-- especially someone that wasn’t from his group of friends at school. “I thought you might’ve lost my number,” Blaine teased him, giving him a little nudge as he sipped his drink.

“H-hey,” Dave greeted a little awkwardly, though he was genuinely happy to see him. “Yeah, sorry about that. Things have been a little crazy lately; I really meant to call you.” When he knew the lack of explanation probably wouldn’t fly as a good excuse, he elaborated. “I, uh, have to repeat my senior year.”

“What? Why?” Blaine asked, wrinkling his forehead as he placed his drink on the bar. “At Thurston or at McKinley?”

“At McKinley,” Dave answered. “Uh, I guess when my dad tried to see if I could transfer, it turned out that it was too late in the year and they basically said it wasn’t doable unless I took extra classes and summer school. Starting the year over just felt like the best thing since I don’t want to go back to Thurston. My dad and I actually just finalized everything so I’m set to go to McKinley next fall. I’m sort of-- I don’t know-- celebrating, I guess.” He gestured just as the bartender returned with his beer and he motioned for a toast before taking a swig.

Blaine tapped his glass against Dave’s bottle before taking a drink himself. “Wow.” He shook his head as he processed his friend’s news. “Well, I mean, I suppose that’s a good thing-- you should take some time to gather yourself and relax before jumping back in.” Then the realization hit him and his face lit up a little bit. “Hey!” He turned to Dave a little bit. “We’ll get to spend our senior year together then-- that’s exciting!”

Dave broke out into a smile and nodded. “Yeah, I’m trying my best to look forward to it. I mean, I’m out but I also kind of want to keep my head down because I don’t really want to deal with anyone giving me a hard time.” He shrugged then as he tried to remain optimistic. Attempting to shift the attention from himself, he asked Blaine a question. “So how about you? Where’s your boyfriend?”

An audible sigh fell from Blaine’s lips as his smile faded. “Kurt’s, uh,” he took another drink. “He’s with my brother and the rest of the glee club. They’re at my house fawning all over him and how great he is.” There was a bitter tone to Blaine’s voice as he rolled his eyes.

“Your brother?” Dave gave Blaine a confused look.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother, I really do,” he shook his head. “He’s just…” Blaine really hesitated to say anything about Kurt that he wouldn’t say directly to his face; he didn’t feel right complaining about his boyfriend ever but between his brother, senior ditch day, and Kurt getting ready to leave for New York, he was feeling a bit selfish. “Cooper’s really pushy and not to sound like a child but he hurts my feelings a lot and Kurt doesn’t really care to listen. I mean, I’ve never really talked about Cooper before but it’s for good reason-- then he showed up unexpectedly and I didn’t have a chance because ‘Oh wow, Blaine, your brother is Cooper Anderson? He’s the most handsome and talented guy in the world!’” He mocked his friends’ voices as he rambled a little.

Dave furrowed his brow. He didn’t peg Kurt to be the kind of guy to just cast his friends-- let alone his boyfriend-- aside like that; that didn’t sound like the Kurt he knew. “Sorry about your brother being a jerk. At least here you don’t have to be around that,” he said, trying to look on the bright side. He didn’t feel like he was in any place to offer up real advice but he still wanted to at least attempt making Blaine feel better. “We can drink a couple of beers and talk about something that isn’t Kurt or your brother if you need a distraction,” he pointed to the TV behind the bar. “Celtics are down by thirteen.”

Blaine finished off his first drink and waved down the bartender for another as he let out another sigh. “It’s fine,” he said, glancing up to the screen that Dave had pointed to. “Figures,” he mumbled, chuckling. “Not surprising with the week I’m having-- my team can’t even win.”

Dave really wanted to console Blaine somehow but he wasn’t quite sure what to say. He didn’t know Blaine well enough to comment on his brother and he wasn’t looking to meddle in his and Kurt’s relationship. He just wanted Blaine to know he was there for him, for whatever he needed. “Hey,” he spoke up, hoping to keep Blaine’s mind off of what was getting him down. “I know I just said the thing about staying under the radar even though I’m out, but do you think I could, like, hang out with you guys at Glee from time to time? Last year when Coach had us do the halftime show, it was actually a lot of fun.”

“Yeah?” Blaine’s face lit up a little, never for a minute thinking he would even begin to entertain the idea of setting foot inside the choir room. “Absolutely, of course! Between you and me,” He leaned in just an inch. “I’m sort of lined up to be the ‘New Rachel’ next year so, you’re definitely in if I say so,” he chuckled, his nose crinkling as he looked at Dave, his smile growing. “That would be wonderful, that makes me really happy.” He sat up a little straighter in his seat, the news clearly brightening his day.

Seeing that talking about that silly glee club made Blaine so happy, Dave thought to keep the conversation going even though he only sort of understood. “‘New Rachel’-- what’s that?” he asked, sipping his beer. He thought about the girl and what she represented in the club. “You’re going to be bossy and annoying?” He laughed at his own joke. “Shouldn’t it be that you’ll be the ‘New Finn’? ‘Cause you’re the lead guy, right?”

Blaine chuckled softly, shaking his head. “C’mon, Rachel’s not that bad. She’s just… misunderstood,” he defended, shrugging. He felt like he and Rachel were cut from the same cloth sometimes. “I mean, technically the new lead guy, but we all know I’m more capable of taking control and leading us to win than Finn. I mean, he’s great and all and he’s a good leader; Rachel’s just better at getting down to business and knowing what’s important in the competition world.” He noticed he was beginning to ramble again and it made him laugh. “Sorry, I know you’re just barely interested-- not trying to scare you away.” He smiled fondly. “I just love the glee club a lot.”

Dave laughed along, not because he really understood but because Blaine just made him laugh. It was fun to see him so happy about his little club-- it was a lot like how Dave got excited about football so he could sort of relate. “Hey, you don’t have to apologize-- I get it. Do you guys have your championship game soon? Or, uh, whatever you guys call it?” he asked.

“Nationals,” Blaine nodded, smiling fondly at Dave. “We won the last competition while you were still in the hospital-- us and the Warblers dedicated our performances to you, I dunno if you heard. But, yeah, our next competition is in a few weeks, we’re going to Chicago which is exciting.”

“Uh, yeah, I think that Sebastian guy told me about that. I think he felt bad about being an asshole the last time we spoke so he said he did some charity or fundraiser thing in my honor, or something-- I don’t know,” Dave recalled, though the conversation he and Sebastian had had about that was already so brief. “Chicago, huh? That sounds like fun… Man, it’d be cool to eat a real Chicago-style pizza in Chicago.” Having lived his entire life in Ohio, the only time he ever got to travel out of state was to watch a football game or two in Indianapolis. “But yeah; that’s super exciting… Are you guys nervous about the big game?”

Blaine thought it was extremely cute that Dave was sticking to sports terminology when talking about show choir; it made his smile stick. “I’m personally not nervous, I know everyone else is-- probably not Rachel. I have confidence that we’ll win.” He nodded, trying not to sound too arrogant. Biting on his lip, he shrugged. “Maybe you should see if your dad would let you come cheer us on. I’m sure you could bunk with us-- Mr. Schuester is supportive of you joining at any point so I’m sure if he thought it would turn you on to the idea he would definitely let you.”

Dave nodded along with Blaine, finding his confidence a great trait. He wondered to himself silently if it came with the territory of being out and proud. Since Dave wasn’t especially invested in the glee club, he wasn’t sure what to think or make of coming along with the New Directions to Chicago. “Is that allowed? I don’t even go to McKinley again-- or, yet,” he voiced his concerns though he made no personal qualms with actually going with them. “I mean, I have all the time in the world right now until next school year so that sounds fun, but, I thought you had to be part of the team to ride on the team bus. Or, I guess, ‘team plane’ is more accurate.”

“We actually are taking a bus, so you were right the first time,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Anyway, I’ll talk to Schuester, I’m sure he’d love to have you.” Blaine promised, knowing that Will was very sensitive to Dave and his experience and certain that hearing his story of repeating his senior year and possibly wanting to join the glee club would be enough to let him join. “You could hang out with us and get to know us a little better so when you come to school next year you don’t have to worry about making friends; you’ll already have them.”

The prospect of having friends from the get-go sounded appealing. He wasn't sure how the guys on the football team would treat him when he returned and even though everyone thought the glee club was a bunch of losers, they at least had each others' backs. "I'll ask my dad; I guess it'd be cool to see how it all works behind the scenes, too." Dave thought he should warn Blaine before he got a little too ahead of himself-- "But no promises on actually joining; it's fun but even I can see how dumb Finn looks on stage. I can barely dance better than he can," he laughed.

Blaine let out a melodic laugh, shaking his head as he recalled the last time Dave danced with the glee club. “Eh, I seem to recall you being extremely talented out there on that football field-- better than Finn, even. You were very sharp, very good,” he encouraged, knowing that Dave had a lot of hidden talent beneath all of his insecurities. “No pressure on joining,” he added, “You could just come sit in sometimes or participate every once in a while.”

"Yeah? You were watching me?" Dave asked, surprised that anyone actually had an opinion about his dance moves. He was one guy in a sea of zombies; he figured the only person actually watching him amongst all the dancers and singers was his dad. "Yeah, well, I don't know-- I'll have to think about it. But I'll keep the offer in mind." Dave knew it was possible to juggle football and glee club but he wasn't sure if he wanted to be that guy; he was already going to be in the spotlight now that he was out. But maybe once the school year started, he'd feel a bit more comfortable.

“Yeah, I was,” Blaine smiled at his friend, shrugging. “I noticed when you ran out to join them and honestly, even in a sea of dancing football players, you still stood out because you were so much better than the others,” He said honestly as he finished off his second drink.

Dave chuckled at the compliment as he waved the bartender over to refresh their drinks. "I, uh, don't know about that," he replied meekly. "I mean, I guess since I play football I'm already good on my feet." Dave wasn't really the type to take compliments well-- especially if it didn't have anything to do with football or academics.

"You should see him on Country Bear Night," the bartender chimed in, having heard the tail-end of their conversation. "He gets the whole crowd going when he's havin' a ball."

Dave blushed and couldn't bring himself to look at Blaine. "Oh, n-no, I just--" he chuckled nervously. "Again, I'm just joshing around and having fun…"

“I believe it, though! He did amazing with our glee club last year.” Blaine shook his head, grinning at Dave, nudging him. “So you like coming to Country Bear Night?” He asked, making a mental note of that.

"Yeah, I guess I do… sometimes," he replied, still a bit bashful with the continued compliments. "There's not a whole lot of dancing I know how to do but I know my way around a line dance-- I have fun with it." Dave's whole thing since getting out of the hospital was really just trying to find all the ways he could be himself and enjoy who he was. Scandals always made him feel at home in his skin and that fact was made even more so on Country Bear Night.

Blaine was glad that Dave was doing so much work to find himself and find where he was comfortable; the fact that it was at Country Bear Night was incredibly endearing. “I’ve never been to Country Bear Night, surprisingly enough. I’ll have to come sometime, you can teach me how to line dance.” He didn’t intend for it to sound flirtatious.

Dave was a little caught off-guard; he’d never been asked to teach anyone anything before. “U-uh, yeah, I can teach you but you’re already so good at dancing… I bet you won’t even need my help,” he replied, though the prospect of running into Blaine again at Scandals sounded like a great time. All they were really doing here was just talking and already Dave was having a great time; he imagined dancing and letting loose would really be a lot of fun. This was turning out to be a promising friendship and Dave didn’t want to do anything to wreck it.

“I will definitely need your help,” Blaine corrected. “You can teach me and I’ll take a new skill back to the New Directions,” he laughed. “They’ll wonder who the heck I am.” Blaine took a sip of his final drink that the bartender had sat in front of him, knowing that he should be cut off around his third or fourth. He let out a content sigh, feeling a lot less heavy than he had when he came into the bar that night. Smiling over at Dave, he reached over to pat him on the arm. “This has been really nice, David. I feel a lot better than I did earlier.”

"Happy to help," Dave replied as he returned the gesture by patting Blaine on the shoulder. "You can always text me when you need to vent or just wanna shoot the shit; I'm usually here at night just to unwind, too, so I'm a decent drinking buddy." He pulled out his mobile phone and composed a quick text message, with Blaine’s phone chiming just a moment later. "There-- now you have my number too. I promise I won’t ghost you again."

Blaine smiled as he looked at his phone, immediately saving Dave’s number. “Thanks,” he repeated, shaking his head. “I promise that I’m not always a downer. Things have just been a bit rough with Kurt because of the whole graduating thing. I’m not really dealing with it well,” he shared, pulling out his wallet to pay for his and Dave’s tab. “But I will definitely take you up on that.” Blaine offered a kind smile to his new friend. He liked how comfortable he felt around Dave, it was easy and he didn’t feel like he needed to be anyone but himself.

Seeing Blaine smile made Dave smile. Although Dave didn't feel like he did much to make Blaine feel better about his problems, he was glad to help in some aspect. "I don't think you're a downer, so don't worry about it. Next time we meet, it'll be to celebrate or have fun-- not to mope or vent." Dave was adamant on making good on that statement. Dave thanked Blaine for the drinks and waved goodbye to him, watching him until the shorter man was completely out of view. One thing he knew for certain: he wasn't going to wait for happenstance to bring them together again.

#blainofsky #blaine anderson #dave karofsky #glee 1x1 #david karofsky #ship: blainofsky #verse: love aint

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cheseyre · 4 years

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good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:

*deep inhale*

Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-

Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:

I don't ship Prinxiety.

Like, at all.

I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?

Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).

Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!

I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅

However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god

alsoooo

pURPLE EYESHADOW

PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?

alsoooo

hAPPY ROMAN

YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL

ITS BEEN SO LONG

AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-

IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA

THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY

Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.

👀

And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP. I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨

we sTAN TRASHMAS

Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?

hmmm

👀 👀

Okay, okay.

With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~

He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle.

Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!

*evil snek laugh*

Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-

Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂

God, first Patton in a skirt and now this.

Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?

What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-

And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.

👀

Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man.

Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls

...and fries.

Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh

Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.

Just...

Crying Stall Guy

Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious

Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon.

There is no in between

sorry I don't make the rules

Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂

Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico

Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo

😅

And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!

Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh

*clears throat*

Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house

He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy

and YESS, he's a WRITER

And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??

my hEART

*cries*

The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter

*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-

*clears throat*

On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I

Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"

God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan

Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.

Wait.

Oh god.

This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?

Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.

That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-

Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK

I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-

Okay.

New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video.

Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader.

The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals

despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves

No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT

*inhales*

noww

guys, gals, and nonbinary pals

it’s time forr

the most wonderful time of the yearrr

WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN

Who will win? Who will lose?

here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-

Place your bets, folks! ✨

Haha im not readyyy~

tl;dr

this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.

psst hey @quarantinevibes2020 you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine

Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤

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shainlov · 4 years

Text

New Years Exchange!!!

@the-sociopathic-jacket I was your gifter! And this is... longer than it was supposed to, I’m so sorry.

Nemuri never forgave herself, but life moves on.

A year before Midnight joined UA staff, she had a difficult case including her family members that no hero should've go through but it’s just such a common trope.

Nemuri Kayama was forever convinced that the case of Sosuke’s killer was going to forever stay her hardest one. Even five years later, she still grieved the boy she didn’t know until a few brief moments before his demise.

If she were to guess when it all began, it would be when she got involved in the case. Though… Sosuke’s... parents would point at her pathetic hero career and shout that it was then when she went to the hero school when she started... she doomed Sosuke to death... because anyone else would’ve done a better job and saved him.

If she never went to the hero school, Sosuke would’ve never attracted the attention of that villain. Or any villain at all.

If she were a smarter woman, a braver-- If not for her incompetence he'd… well, either way, she’s never been the same.

Kayama saw horrible things, but the death of the young boy taken it’s greatest hit on her yet.

She couldn’t bear the guilt alone... she was very bad at handling her feelings on her own. She depended on people to help her to take care of herself when she was at her worst.

Of course, those people weren’t either Present Mic or Eraserhead, they barely held their emotional baggage. It was her wife who helped her through awful episodes each time.

Midnight was ever so slightly jealously looking at a monitor, watching a disgustingly romantic scene playing out between Ms. Joke and Eraserhead - it was the origin of Emi’s “marry me” joke that she repeated endlessly tormenting both Nemuri and Shouta with.

Both of her... friends were very good actors - convincing enough to make Midnight envious, even a little worried about whether they were genuine. She had to pinch herself to calm down and tell herself that Aizawa Shouta was gay. A few times.

Shouta would never answer to the advances of a person he wasn’t attracted to. Shouta would never try to hurt Nemuri either - hell, he asked many times if she was alright with his part in the operation because he knew of her silly crush.

Other than three of them at the scene, there were also two other underground heroes and a nearby police station on alert, waiting tensely for a signal. One of the extra teammates was inside the bar as an immediate back-up, while Midnight was waiting outside with the other guy. Shouta said he's never seen either of them before. It made Midnight wonder about how big the Underground Agency was.

That’s when Nemuri’s mobile meant for hero-related stuff rang. Excusing herself, she stepped out of the van, gladly distracting herself from the monitors.

“Lovely," She murmured to herself, "who’s this?” She answered in her "Midnight" voice, she didn’t recognize the number. Her fans liked to get her phone number from her agency’s site and call her. Some were sweet, while others just plain creepy.

“Mistress Midnight,” The voice on the other end of the line striked her immediately as someone dangerous. She was pretty good at reading people based off of their voice alone. Nobody in her agency had this voice and only those people addressed her as Mistress. “I’d suggest you come to your office quickly and pick it up, you have a very important message there." The person sounded almost giddy, like a little child who got a treat, or rather, in this situation, left someone a treat and wanted to see their reaction to it. With years of hero training and experience, she formed a suspect’s profile. "Time is extendable, but I don’t have forever.” This could be another freaky fan, but her gut was giving her especially bad vibe. “Ah, and don’t worry, we’re going to meet soon.”

Kayama was confused as to what the hell was that supposed to mean, but for now, she returned to the van. She was still on her mission and she had to keep the watch in case of Shouta and Emi requesting a back-up. Stepping back into the van, she bumped into the underground hero guy.

He shouted at her to get out there and "do her thing" because the operation was going to shit.

Alright then.

Nemuri counted herself as a part of the case ever since the villain called her phone which led her... home. The home of a naive pretty little girl who grew too fond of heroes and aspired to become like them.

Which resulted in the pretty little girl getting kicked out.

At 4 AM, about five hours after apprehending the villain gang and sending them into jail, Nemuri was sitting in her office.

Her leg bouncing as she looked at her phone. She had only a few saved numbers - only people she trusted were there, but there was an exception. There were two numbers saved of people she didn't trust one bit, and the missed calls came from them.

Back then, the agency building was her only home - she had a side room off of her big office - where she lived. Her office was modest, the only pieces of furniture were a desk, three leather armchairs, and her chair on wheels. The walls were covered praising articles and her posters, and also a sue for "too revealing outfit". She won that lawsuit by saying that the costume-regulation laws weren't established yet. They served as amusement for her bad mood.

In her desk's drawer, there were letters from her fans, police officers, some secret admirers and not-so-secret ones. She never responded because of her brand, and the other reason was... well, she was irreversibly lesbian. Male advances flattered her, but she wasn't interested.

"Hard to get" was helping her to sell more merchandise.

Below that drawer, she held some private things - like embarrassing photos of her cousins and aunts - and her identification documents. Only a small fraction though, she knew how things could get messy, and the most important stuff were kept in the side room, where she was the sole person who had access. It was relatively small and consisted of a pull-out couch and a wardrobe, and a small kitchen, and it connected to a bathroom with a shower and bathtub.

She used the shower at around 1 AM and ever since has been sitting motionlessly only changing the object that she was blankly staring at. The leather armchair in her office already dried from the water her wet tangled hair left.

Two notifications read:

You have missed 4 call(s) from Father

You have missed 17 call(s) from Mother

...and Midnight was… puzzled.

What was she supposed to do? The Kayamas have disowned her ages ago! What could’ve they wanted from her? They had everything! She was their disappointment! Her parents disowned her when she got into the hero school because she didn't want to play "status", and "power", and "house".

She disobeyed and went against what her parents thought was best for her. What was she even to them after all? A doll? They've married out of love and she was supposed to be sold? What's fair in that?

Pretty face, no brains and talented at dress-up games - that's what she started as. She still had little to no brain, but she wasn't useless anymore.

Surely, there was no emotional attachment to her. After all, they threw her out of her--their home. Well, not officially, and since that wasn't legal and they didn't want to be labeled as child abusers by abandoning her, they got her an apartment, moved her things and paid for it until she was 21.

She got her act together, unlocked the phone to look at dozens of missed texts.

Most of them were demanding to call back as soon as possible. When that list ended, she noticed the gap between this flood of texts and the last ones she sent them on New Year’s Eve back when she was 22 and hoped that she could fix their relationship... somehow.

So, not minding the hour, she called. It took two attempts - each to different parent - before Mother picked up. Her voice sounded… weary.

“Hello?”

“What happened?” Midnight didn’t quite sit well with the fact she was talking to her parents after promising herself to not look back.

“Nemuri?” The surprise in the woman’s voice that answered the phone was no wonder - she didn’t hear Nemuri’s voice for straight-up over ten years.

“Yeah. Why were you calling me?”

“Well… it’s about Sosuke, yo-- my son.” Nemuri flinched at that.

Of course, her parents wouldn’t know about her being aware of who Sosuke Kayama was. Her mother didn’t tell her she was pregnant, she officially hasn’t met him, she never talked with him. Nemuri was disowned sixteen years ago, and Sosuke was fourteen.

When she heard her mother went into labor, she sneaked into the hospital to greet her replacement and wish him good luck, but after that, she didn’t make any effort to contact him.

“What about him?” She kept her voice flat.

“He’s been kidnapped and it’s your fault.” Kayama Saori’s voice was sweet in her perfume commercials, but now it made Nemuri want to throw up. She leaned forward with her ear pressed to the phone. The heroine didn’t know whether she wanted to start apologizing or to throw the phone yelling that it wasn’t her fault.

“It’s not. Did you call to send me hate mail?” For the first few moments, it didn’t reach Nemuri that she was talking about a kidnapping over a phone. She never came to accept that her mother and father rejected her. So now, thoughts processed slower than usual.

“They want you to be the one to find him. You HAVE TO do this.”

“They?” Nemuri frowned, slightly surprised her mother hasn’t broken into wails yet. That was unusual…

“Yes. Whoever did this.”

It’s a game then?

Midnight bit at her thumb frustrated. Her little brother-- Sosuke was in danger because of her hero career? Was that true?

“I’ll call the police to question you, I am not a detective.” She said simply going for the disconnect button.

“No police or else he will be killed. Hurry.” Her mother hissed before she hung up. That left Nemuri frozen in her seat. So it was because of her.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21848440

#midjoke #midnight x ms joke #bnha #bnha new years exchange #the gift #uwu

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almondbiscotti · 4 years

Text

Stuff I’ve Watched this CB

Sorry, really got a lot. I’ve ranked them from most recommended to least recommended. And separated movies from series. And have included some shows I’m planning to watch!

Series

Kim’s Convenience S4 I LOVE APPA. Was a bit appalled I didn’t know S4 was out on Netflix because it’s one of my favourite shows on Netflix. It’s REALLY GOOD. So many laugh out loud moments, the characters are WONDERFULLY fleshed out and the chemistry between the actors is through the roof. Story telling is also amazeballs. 10/10 would recommend.

Dirty Money S1&2 10/10 would recommend! I really liked Dirty Money because I learned so so so so much from the show! I do think the producers had no intention of being unbiased and presenting a neutral stance on the “villains” because I wanted to punch every single “villain” every damn episode. If you’re looking for objectivity and “both sides of the story”, I don’t think this show is for you. But that said, everything presented is factual so I did learn a lot. Supplemented with additional reading post show, I felt like a whole new world was opened to me. :)

Kingdom S1&2 JUST WATCH THIS. IT’S SO DAMN GOOD.

Only issue I had was how damn ridiculous it was that whenever a horde of zombies were running towards our protagonists, they’d just stand there and do their typical Korean AISSSSSHEEEEBYEFUCK stance for like a full 17342154 minutes while the music and tension builds and the zombie horde comes closer and closer and closer and THEN they finally decide to run. Eh friend, what siah. Also, I concluded from watching Kingdom that if there ever was a Zombie apocalypse, I’m completely and utterly FUCKED. But I live in ridiculously hot Singapore surrounded by water... so I guess I’ll be alright? 9.5/10

Derry Girls S1-2 Irish Catholic School Girls, I’M SOLD. I mean, come on. How can I not LOVE this show? It’s HILARIOUS. And having spent 10 years in an all girl catholic school, Derry Girls really really resonated with me. The characters are laugh out loud hilarious, and all really likeable! The only issue I had with it is that the characters don’t really grow very much over the course of 2 seasons. So season 1 first episode vs season 2 final episode, it won’t matter even if you watched it backwards.

Because the seasons are very short, only 6 episodes per season and there are only 2 seasons so far, it doesn’t matter very much. For now. But I reckon if they had like 7 seasons, it’s going to get VERY repetitive. But at the moment, ISSA GREAT! 9/10

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency S1 8 Episodes of ABSOLUTE CRACK. It’s based off something Douglas Adams wrote so I wouldn’t expect anything less. Acting isn’t great but the storytelling is riveting. If you enjoy Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (the book), it’s very likely you’d enjoy this. It can get quite frustrating sometimes though because it’s so ridiculous so if you’re looking for a detective series based on solid logic, look somewhere else. But if you just want some fun and silliness mixed with some smart, this is wonderful. 8/10

Never Have I Ever S1 I had a lot of trouble liking the main character but on retrospect, it might be because the character doesn’t even like herself that much to begin with. Had quite a few laugh out loud moments and the Asian family moments were very relatable. THE MOTHER. THE MOTHER IS EVERYTHING. She’s my favourite, I would watch an entire series with just her. The main problem with Never Have I Ever (in my opinion) is that it tried to do a lot of things to prove the same point. So it does get a bit frustrating after a while. By the 3rd episode, I’m just like GET ON WITH IT I GET IT. I GET THAT FAMILY IS MOST IMPORTANT, I GET THAT SHE’S NOT GRIEVING HER FATHER. So... it can get a little cliche and repetitive. To me la. But still funny, still good. :) 8/10

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S1-4 The opening track really really grows on you. UNBREAKABLE! They’re alive, damn it! IT’S A MIRACLE! Created by Tina Fey, this show is silly and full of fun.

I really liked S1-3. It’s a very light-hearted show that makes you feel really good watching it because it’s just so positive and optimistic. S4 got a bit too ridiculous for me and the characters started doing some really weird shit that is a bit too incredulous (it was never a logical show based too much on reality to begin with but S4 was really a bit much). But if you like shows like The Good Place, I reckon you’d like Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. 8/10

The Circle USA Can’t remember why Housemate and I started on this but it was actually not bad! I think it’s because the OG characters were really likeable! JOEY! JOEY IS A PRECIOUS PUPPY THAT NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS. It’s not very intellectual and I was never too invested in any of the characters or relationships. BUT! great if you don’t want to think too much and just watch some mindless TV that isn’t absolute trash. (TOO HOT TO HANDLE I’M LOOKING AT YOU.) 7/10

Tiger King S1 SIEOW ONE THIS SHOW. It’s an absolute MINDFUCK. I started with many questions, I finished with A BILLION more. I don’t even know how to describe or explain this show. IT’S MADNESS. There are big cats, gay husbands who turn out not to be gay, tiger queen who allegedly killed her husband and fed him to her tigers, crazy dude who tried to pay some other dude 5k (i think? or 3k? seriously it’s crazy) to kill tiger queen, big guns and expired meat and pizzas?!?!! Yah, Mindfuck. CRAZY/10

Cable Girls S1-4 Season 1 and 2 were BEAUTIFUL. The characters have so much depth, the acting is impeccable, the costumes are AMAZING, the cinematography is inspiring, the story telling was riveting. Then season 3 and season 4 happened and... I will pretend the show ended in S2. -_- Character development took a major hit from season 3 onwards. But I would still recommend Cable Girls because the acting, the acting is AMAZING. 10/10 for s1&2. 5/10 for 3&4.

Money Heist S4 Was quite hyped for this and was really quite let down. The beauty of Money Heist has always been structure in chaos, elegance in the mess. S4 was very frustrating because it didn’t have that. I felt like they were trying very hard to make you think the heist team was going to fail and started to fill in weird impossible things to ensure the plot was still able to proceed. Did not enjoy S4 as much as I thought I would. :( But if you have invested in the previous seasons, you know you’re gonna watch it even if it’s absolute crap anyway. 6/10

The Letter For The King S1 Ep 1&2 Premise was quite interesting, trailer was interesting enough. But DEAR GOD WAS IT SLOW. And also, literally ALL the characters were unlikeable! I don’t understand why anyone would make a show with entirely unlikeable characters. I couldn’t get past the 2nd episode but I went ahead to read a few reviews and recaps. Yeah, was a good idea to stop at episode 2. Would not recommend. 2/10

Movies

Game Night Rachel McAdams is QUEEN. A really loltastic film. Is a really good post dinner wind down to end the day film. And particularly because I can relate to how competitive our main couple was. :) Some parts don’t add up and there are a few times I think the story becomes a bit too much for itself, trying to layer upon layer of twists, but still a good fun movie! :) 7.5/10

The Half of It Heartwarming. :) Enjoyed it because i think the main protagonist is very likeable. And she’s so... plain and relatable. I hate to say this though but... I found the whole movie quite forgettable. Like, it didn’t feel very deep to me though it did touch on quite a few intense and deep topics of first love, family, self acceptance etc. But it’s just doesn’t reverberate through every cell of my being. The whole movie is just so gentle and because it is so mild, it becomes forgettable. Acting is good, character development is okay I guess. But generally... just mediocre to me. But not bad. I just wished it wasn’t so... light and airy. I wish it made me cry. 7/10

Cabin in the Woods Housemate wanted to watch it because it’s horror-esque. I was okay with it cos it’s horror comedy. And also Chris Hemsworth. :D Was quite loltastic. Though SPOILER ALERT Chris Hemsworth’s character dies a bit too early for my liking. I really liked the over the top inclusion of various different monsters near the end. Was fun trying to identify them. Fun movie! Not very scary but quite a bit of gore that’s peppered with lots of humour to make it okay. 7/10

Extraction LOTS OF CHRIS HEMSWORTH. But plot wise... hmm... Housemate enjoyed it because he said the fight scenes and the things our extractor does are very real and is what a trained professional would do in the high pressure situations he finds himself in. They probably had a great consultant to keep things realistic. I didn’t enjoy it as much because I felt that our hero was... too powerful and the bad guy was too bad. Almost caricature-ish. Difficult to have character development like that. But hey, I didn’t watch it for depth, I watched it for Chris Hemsworth’s face so... very much satisfied. :) 7/10

Other Stuff I’m Planning to Watch

After Life S2 I liked S1 so... just a continuation I guess. Typical English humour. Also, I watched S1 dealing with a death of a friend so the show does have some sentimental meaning for me.

Hollywood S1 New show seems promising! There are blacks, gays, sex, extortion, glitzy costumes, glamour and really blonde blondes. Also the guy who plays Sheldon Cooper in BBT. High hopes, I have high hopes!

The Victims’ Game DETECTIVE SHOW SOLVING CRIMES. I’M SOLD.

Whoa fuck, I really watch a lot of Netflix.

#netflix #NessaBingeLogs

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bpdanakins · 5 years

Text

Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) then tag ten people

I was tagged by the dear @gffa who clearly enjoys making these lists and seeing everyone else also struggling with just choosing ten. It’s hard but I shall do my best sdfk <3

1. Lara Croft - Tomb Raider Okay, let’s just get it out: I prefer reboot!Lara. idk I know some people think she sucks and the games suck for whatever reason, but I found the games and their mechanics super fun, and Lara’s story really compelling. She was a young girl who was determined to make her own way in the world, and instead went through something extremely traumatizing. She kept pushing through, kept getting back up no matter what the world threw at her. She went on this clear journey that was compelling and fun and messy. She wasn’t perfect. She pushed people away, she fucked the world up because she was determined to find the answers she felt would make all she went through make sense. Her survivor’s guilt was present really well in RotTR but most especially in SotTR. People were dying but she was so focused on finishing her personal mission. She was numb to it despite the fact it still horrified her. And her arc ended well. She finally was able to reach a place where she was able to let go of her losses and try to join society again. And I’m gay for her. So, you know.

2. Senua - Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice I cannot recommend this game enough. It’s tough to play bc it’s not just a horror game but you feel a lot of Senua’s anxiety, which is part of the point to the game. Senua’s a Celtic warrior who suffers from psychosis, and the game devs worked directly with both professionals and those who experience psychosis. There’s a whole mini doc to it which is great, even if you can’t stomach horror. You’re in Senua’s head with her throughout the game. You see what she sees, you hear all she hears, and she talks to you directly at times. But the beauty of the game is Senua’s true journey. She goes on a quest to try to rescue a loved one she lost to Vikings, but the real story is about a girl realizing she’s not a monster for seeing the world differently. That the abuse and ableism she faced weren’t her fault at all. There’s so many little things I can point to in this game that just made me so emotional, and it’s such a beautiful and necessary story to tell. Senua is great and deserves a hug.

3. Anakin Skywalker - Star Wars If you asked me at what point in my life Anakin became one of my favourite characters, to the point I frequently talked about him even on my main blog at random intervals, I couldn’t tell you. I haven’t the faintest idea; he just was. And if you asked me why he was a fave early on, I also couldn’t tell you lmao. It might partially be that I grew up on the prequels, and maybe at such a young age I didn’t really grasp at first that this was a story about a guy who was already revealed to be a villain, but I haven’t the faintest clue. He just is now, and I’m so passionate about his story. He’s complex and difficult and written so well. You want him to be happy, you feel heartbroken seeing a good character fall so deep, and you want to smack him upside the head a whole lot. You laugh at his silly dialogue (which he has as Vader too smh), you cry when you see him struggling, you become horrified by his actions. His story’s also a great inversion of the Chosen One trope - whereas usually we see Chosen Ones struggle, become imperfect and undoubtedly traumatized, they remain heroes the whole time. Anakin doesn’t. He becomes the bad guy, one of the worst in the series (Palps takes the award tho). But even then, when you think this guy has nothing to offer but an intimidating villain, he’s shown to have good. And then we see how much good he had all along, the good he forgot and was punished for and hated himself for. His heart that had good intentions but he chose the worst actions. He’s complicated and I love him. And more over, I love how many people who struggle or have mental illness can relate to him. I love that he wasn’t treated as a guy whose actions were glorified, but that were honest in both the good ones and the bad ones. Anyone can fall, and anyone can get back up, if they choose to. I just. Love him. He means a lot.

4. Commander Shepard - Mass Effect I know that Shep is technically the player’s character and can be any combination of person, but anyone who’s played Mass Effect would get why they were put here. The original trilogy for Mass Effect touched on so many things, and was a really emotional one. You had your great moments with friends, you had your struggles against both unknown horrors, and horrors close to home (so to speak). There are so many small moments that stick out to you, and idk how many people can say that playing this story didn’t impact their life in a meaningful way, bc I can’t see how it couldn’t. I’ve played the games many times, but even after all of this, there are moments that I not just still get emotional to, but take on new meaning as I go through my life. And Shepard’s the hero of the story. They’re not perfect, and they can downright be an ass if you play them that way, but their story is one of perseverance, of fighting on even when entire worlds are being lost and everyone is still looking to them. Everyone needs them to find a solution. But even then, it’s a story about friendship too. About tons of amazing characters that all have their own motivations, their own pasts and goals and hopes and failures. About how all these varied characters become a found family. And so Shepard’s the hero of the story, but their companions aren’t just there to be sidekicks, but end up with all their own accomplishments and arcs and you go on this journey with all of them. idk the whole series is great dsalkkljads

5. Lexa & Clarke - The 100 Let’s not talk about how terrible this show got and how messy it was because we all know. But it started with a really compelling story that was interesting, and to see two characters on screen who were flawed but understood each other, and to have them both be women - one who was a lesbian and one who was a bisexual?? It made me so excited and it’s a really flawed show but it meant a lot to me at the time to have a couple like that on a tv show, and so despite all its flaws, that relationship still means a lot to me.

6. The BAU team - Criminal Minds Yeah, I put the entire friggin team down, and that means all of them. There was only maybe two or so characters that were on it I didn’t like so every iteration is put down. Criminal Minds isn’t exactly a complex show; it’s a typical crime drama, and its unique feature is that it looks into the behaviour and minds of criminals instead of finding the science, like we saw with CSI. But the episodes were compelling and entertaining to watch, and, what do you know, there’s a found family at the center of it all and naturally I’m a sucker for it. Strangely enough this show is kind of a comfort one to me, bc it’s entertaining but not always overwhelmingly emotional. I can put it on at any time and just have it on in the background, or when I’m not feeling well, and I’ll enjoy myself. Also strangely enough, I’ve seen almost every episode enough times that there’s a game in my house to see how long it takes for me to recognize the episode and its plot once a rerun is put on lmao. There’s a lot of good shows like this out there - I enjoy SVU a lot too - but something just draws me to the characters on this one. We’ve been with them for, what, 14 seasons?? And we’ve seen them go thru some shit, we’ve seen them grow and change and they’re all really unique. It’s not a complex show but it is good enough to just binge. A part that plays in it is probably the time in my life I started getting into it too, but I’m alright with standing by it.

7. Korra - Avatar: The Legend of Korra I probably don’t need to wax poetic about atla or atlok much at all. I just love her journey, as a brash and overconfident girl who realizes that being the Avatar is hard, the people expect so much and there’s a lot put on your shoulders. That, when things go wrong, people will blame you. She went and became this giant blue monster thing, but her struggles were all human. Her PTSD was shown really well, despite it being a kid’s show. She’s fun and her journey is lovely and it’s definitely true that Korrasami did it way better, and both characters are bi women too (◡‿◡✿) We Do Not Talk About That Dumb Love Triangle Nonsense Though

8. Chloe & Max - Life is Strange What can I even say about this game? I don’t know. If you’ve played it, you’ll know why it’s here. It’s.... way deeper than you’d think it’d get at first. I love the story, and I love the journey Max and Chloe go on together. I love their friendship, how Chloe was always trying to uplift Max and encourage her to follow her dreams, and Max just doing the impossible for Chloe. I love their relationship, because it was built on support and love and struggle. I love their complexities, their flaws, their strengths, their times together. I just fskljdjlksfd love them, I love this game and all its various stories and character arcs. It’s all so beautiful and raw and unique and yay, another pair of ladies loving each other is on this list.

9. Solas - Dragon Age: Inquisition Okay. There’s a TON of characters I adore in Dragon Age, and to be honest, I don’t know he’d be my absolute top one. But I do like his story. I love Dragon Age companions, because, like in Mass Effect, they’re all their own characters with their own stories and journeys. Solas is flawed. Like, really flawed. Here’s another guy on my list who went and fucked up the world a bit. His worst actions (and the consequences of them) were built on good intentions, on his desire to help his people. We can get into the way this direction BW went with the elvhen religion was icky, but it’s a different conversation. I adore elvhen lore and I love exploring theories on it all the time. For Solas, I just like that he’s complex. I mean, he’s still silly and kinda weird, and he loves to hear himself speak on topics and loves Lavellan for encouraging him to never shut up, but most of all I kind of like their relationship? A friendship with Solas is still great, but I like that it’s an asexual one (don’t fight me on this, idc, it’s how I see it). It’s soft, built on mutual respect, one with no pressures or expectations. Solas asks for time and Lavellan gives it. There’s no fade to black s.ex scenes that so many times aren’t optional in BW games. I just really like my asexual wolf god egg ok

10. Mulder & Scully - The X Files Okay, it’s super hard to choose characters for this holy heck. BUT I really, really, really love their relationship. Mulder is an idealist who believes in the supernatural, and Scully his pragmatic scientific counterpart. And we could talk about how Scully’s character as a woman in science meant to a lot of people, and how Mulder’s tenacity to not give up on his beliefs is a nice one (when it’s not getting him into trouble). Their relationship is the slowest of slow burns in television history, I think. But it’s good that way. Scully starts out thinking Mulder’s just a delusional guy, one who’s intelligent but wastes his accomplishments, and he knows that. Then they go through shit, they’re a team and many times it’s them against a whole bunch of unbelievable stuff (and their own government). What I loved most was also their son, and I’m literally deleting all knowledge of the new seasons from my brain bc I think it was gross and took away from the story, but I liked that they were so close, loved each other so much despite there not really being a romance yet, that Scully trusted to go to Mulder to donate to her bc he was the only one she could think of for this. It’s another asexual relationship on screen, and it’s built on a love that happens over time. I just fljksdfkjl could go on about it too.

This was hard lmao. I wanna give an honorary shout out to Peggy Carter since she had wonderful lines like: “I know my value. Anyone else’s opinion doesn’t really matter.” Which is *chef’s kiss*. Peggy was the true unsung hero of the MCU and they gave her and Steve a weird ass ending.

idk who to tag bc I’m not sure who’d be into this, but if you’re willing, I’d love to hear from @sapphicfinalpam, @mariaromanovs, @vinterskald, @zombiefishgirl, @nb-aziraphales, @serkonans and anyone who feels like doing it. Feel free to obvs ignore this, or only make a list without rambles, idk. I am never too sure about who’s into this or not, but if I didn’t tag you and you wanna do it, you can just say I tagged you and I definitely wanna read what you have to say!

#liz.txt #long post #there are others who were left out bc this shit's hard!! jldskljf #thanks gffa (◡‿◡✿)

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fate-hates-faraday · 4 years

Photo

So uh I remembered my vague ideas for a GF AU still existed and dug up the coversation I had with @honeygemtrashbag

Though, currently, pondering the idea of Deceit, instead of being a brother to Patton, would be the Shapeshifter (albeit with a far different and less evil moral compass).

(Transcript below Read More)

Levi Dinn10/03/2019

Me: .....at last, I've calmed down my brain enough and got some focus. I really want to get back to the PMMM AU - I think I've got some plans to refine the timeline, as well as a stable of witches to help fill out those timelines-

Rewrite of Gravity Falls 'Not What He Seems' Starring 'Grampa Patton', his grandkids 'Roman and Remus', his handyman 'Virgil', and cashier 'Logan', a folding chair in hand: BITCH YOU THOUGHT-

BigNutzMcgee10/03/2019

[image of a woman looking surprised as she’s holding a glass and a straw]

Levi Dinn10/03/2019

You watch Gravity Falls? Remind me? Because this was a fucking turning point in the series

BigNutzMcgee10/03/2019

I do!! And you’re right

Levi Dinn10/03/2019

So Grampa Patton's been taking care of the twins since his son Thomas sent them up (he kinda realized he's gay, missus didn't react well, it's just to give the two a break while they settle things). Remus found the journal, but he and Roman share it pretty evenly and don't show their grandpa right away because he's swell and all but also a bit of a worrywart and somehow oblivious to all of the dangers of Gravity Falls? (until, you know. He reveals he isn't). Working for Grampa Patton is Logan, nearly ready to graduate high school, and Virgil, first year at community college (the twins are a bit older than 12, though their crushes still aren't reciprocated/acted on.....sue me, Prinxiety and Intrulogical still cute).

And so of course one day Roman, Remus, and Patton are all hanging out and having fun when Patton gets arrested. You know why. Logan upon seeing the police presence actually goes to the station to try to meet up with Patton (guy's silly, but Logan won't argue that he's done so much for him) but keeps getting blocked by the feds. Patton's one call, instead of to a lawyer, is to Virgil to ask him to get the twins and keep them safe (And good thing because Remus' plan was to upset a tractor trailer driver to run the agent's car off the road -coughMabel-)

BigNutzMcgee10/03/2019

Levi Dinn10/03/2019

By the time Virgil, Roman, and Remus all get back to the shack, well, Thomas usually does a weekly call, and he's panicking because it's been a few hours and no one's picked up. Roman and Remus try to fill him in, in their own way, and Thomas is disbelieving. It's Patton, his dad's not a criminal. Sure, he does some strange things, but a criminal? Nah. Thomas promises to call back in an hour while he tries to find out what's up. The twins, of course, plan to do so as well.

And when they find the security footage (holy crap, Patton can SWEAR?!), the multiple fake IDs, questionable bank records, none of them know what to make of it. Weirdest yet are the floorplans, indicating a level below ground level, but the door should be in the gift shop - but they've never seen a door there, right? Thomas calls back, asks Virgil to take the twins to somewhere safe. While trying to get info, he stumbled across an obituary - some guy who got into a car crash, left way too much blood and his wallet behind. ID said Patton Sanders. Thomas has NO IDEA who he sent his kids to, but he needs them safe, dammit.

Virgil rounds up Roman, but Remus is poking around the gift shop trying to find the door. It's Roman who figures out it's behind the vending machine, Virgil who gets it open. Indeed, there are stairs going down, an elevator - and at the bottom, a machine room. Two journals laying out, copies from the third journal nearby. Roman had been carrying around the journal this week, they notice the diagram split between books, and of course - the warnings in invisible ink: "The device if fully operational could tear the universe apart!"

Back to station - Logan's arguing with an agent to little avail, despite the fact the agents could've gotten arrested weeks ago if he hadn't filled them in on proper procedures regarding wiretapping and spying in Gravity Falls. Patton stalls the agents until a good gravitational anomaly, escapes, grabs Logan as he passes, then of course sends the distraction taxi cab. Logan is confused as heck because Patton is silly and weird, but right now he's super-focused and almost harsh as he tells Logan they can't be late. For what? The source of the fluctuations. Logan keeps pressing, but Patton's being weirdly evasive.

And so, just as Virgil, Roman, and Remus are about to deactivate the portal, Patton returns, Logan in tow, Please don't shut it off. Roman calls him out about the obituary, Virgil throws the fake IDs at him, Logan is even more suspicious now, and so of course now in the last minute is a good time for a gravitational anomaly. Yes taking beats from the episode, so sue me, it's hard to improve on perfection.

After a fair bit of struggle, where Patton holds up surprisingly well getting past Logan and Virgil but is ultimately knocked off-course by Roman, Remus is the only one who's in range to shut off the machine. He wants to trust Grampa Patton but... he's probably not Grampa Patton. He lied about the monsters in Gravity Falls, he lied about who he is and how he knows them, he lied about owning the place, he lied about why he wanted the journal - there are just so many lies, and what it comes down to is that this thing is a doomsday device. And despite all his morbid jokes, Remus doesn't want to die.

Patton's pleading - he can explain afterwards, promise, it's a long story but- there won't be an afterwards! - There WILL be, he swears. He wouldn't try this unless he was sure he wasn't going to lose any more family, just, he pleads through tears, just let it go. Remus hesitates. Grampa Patton's a liar. Grampa Patton's never cried. Grampa Patton could be lying right now. Grampa Patton....He lets go.

World goes white. The basement is wrecked (Roman kept safe by Virgil, Grampa Patton just barely catching Remus before gravity kicked back in) and a figure emerges from the portal. Who's that? The builder of the house, of course. The author of the journals, naturally. A man who vanished over 30 years ago. Patton Sanders, the twin brother of one ostracized Ernest Sanders.

So yes, here Patton and Deceit are also brothers. Because fuckin' fight me why not?

BigNutzMcgee10/03/2019

needs more

Levi Dinn10/03/2019

There's sadly not enough to fill out a total AU. But I will say this:

BigNutzMcgee10/03/2019

Levi Dinn10/03/2019

Bill Cipher goes unchanged because no one ruins everything he touches quite like Bill does. Just, yeah, Sanders sides a little small to match the cast of Gravity Falls, but they'd work excellently for this episode......and certainly wouldn't claim exclusive ownership

BigNutzMcgee10/03/2019

:0!!!!!

Levi Dinn11/25/2019

[Not related personal stuff]

Speaking of, in the GF AU, Bill instead of manipulating Roman and Remus with deals just befriends Remus to slowly get his trust so Remus willingly offers Bill himself the rift. Doesn't hurt that Bill thinks Remus' ideas are fun and great while most everyone else... doesn't.

So Sock Opera would be more rooted in jealousy between Roman and Remus - Remus' ideas getting shot down, Roman getting praised - with subplot about Bill "mending" bridges with Remus for invading his grandpa's mind and sorry about that, can we start over? Personally I think your idea about the a nuclear bomb dropping near the characters' home and fallout creating hideous mutations is really cool, Mace-y's Day Parade! Bill doesn't even have to hijack anyone to persuade Remus to give him the rift, just promise him that with it, he cam make sure Roman won't leave him behind

Levi Dinn11/25/2019

I also stan the theory that, much like how Virgil represents and suffers from anxiety, Remus represents and suffers from intrusive thoughts

BigNutzMcgee11/25/2019

Yeeessss

Levi Dinn11/25/2019

So while everyone in the GF AU at least somewhat likes Roman? Virgil is incredibly disgusted by him, Logan seems dismissive (doesn't hurt our duke's crush though; and while he may come across coldly, still finds him harmless), Patton's severely unnerved (since admittedly I mean, Bill likes his ideas, enough said). Only Roman and Dee vocally support and defend Remus

BigNutzMcgee11/25/2019

^yeyeyeye

Levi Dinn11/25/2019

Patton at least has the courtesy to feel awful when he realizes his fear helps push Remus right into Bill's arms

#sanders sides au #deceit sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #prinxiety mention #intrulogical mention #gravity falls #bill cipher #tag anyone unsympathetic and you'll be catching unsympathetic!FHF #except Bill I guess but you get my meaning #janus sanders

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junionigiri · 5 years

Text

Boom Clap [bnha: vigilantes one shot]

Story Summary: Haimawari Koichi is quite content spending New Year's Eve alone in his run-down rooftop apartment, but Iida Tensei has other plans.

Relationship: Haimawari Koichi/Iida Tensei

Rating: T

Warnings/Notes: haha wtf is a warm-up drabble anyways. this isn’t edited but whatever. gonna go back to my other AU in a bit. Happy new year everyone :)

31 December 20XX, 2154H

Haimawari Koichi watches the night sky alone.

He has cans of beer, one of them already open and half-empty in his hand. His phone is out, but apart from taking piss-poor quality photos of the stray fireworks already colouring the night sky in vivid oranges and greens and pinks, it is glaringly quiet. Almost… annoyingly so. But he can’t complain.

Pop is finally spending time with her family and not with some college-aged vigilante, as proper middle school girls ought to. Makoto-senpai is with her older brother too--she managed to pressure him into going home to see their parents after so long.

His college friends wouldn’t step near here, for obvious reasons. And the kinda-friends he’s met as a vigilante… well, Koichi’s kind of dense, but even he understands that inviting Eraserhead for a beer here isn’t the most genius idea.

Knuckleduster… well who knows where he really is right now. Koichi only hopes that he’s alive wherever he is. He doesn’t have a lot of chances to say that he misses that insane master of his, not even to himself.

And… that’s the extent of his friends, he realizes. Those close enough that he can theoretically ask to spend some time with him on his little rooftop in the city, at least.

That’s… kind of sad. But he tries not to think about that too much.

There’s no one else here.

It’s not so bad, he supposes. Life as a college student by day, a vigilante by night isn’t exactly the most quiet. He made up a stupid University-related excuse not to go home to Mom’s because villains don’t take the holidays off (and also he prefers meeting the new year without being slapped silly like a fly). So he should really enjoy the quiet, while he can.

Another stray firework explodes above his head. He tries to capture it on camera, for what it’s worth. As expected, it looks shitty, exactly what you get from a flip-phone camera.

He deletes it.

It’s quiet. A breeze blows by, cold and biting, but his All Might hoodie keeps him warm.

It’s the perfect time for a villain to strike. If he were a villain, he’d strike now.

He looks at the streets below his complex. Come on. Somebody? Anybody?

Nope. Nada. He sighs, and looks up the sky again. Maybe he should patrol, or something? Ah, but during holidays like this, the younger heroes are out and about, on higher alert than on a normal day. If he ran into any of them, he might just be the one to get arrested. Not the best thing to happen to greet the new year.

His phone rings like a bell, startling him. “Ah--”

He flips his phone open. A single message, a short one, but just enough to make his heart flutter.

Tensei Iida (2201H): Happy New Year to you and your family! Here’s hoping that the incoming year is prosperous! Let’s work hard together! - Turbo Hero Ingenium

He’s two hours too early for the generic new year’s greeting texts, isn’t he? He must have thought ahead and sent the message before the signals got congested. Figures that the Turbo Hero is ahead of everyone, even new year’s texts.

Still… Koichi’s smiling a little too wide just receiving a generic greeting. Ah, frickin’ stupid, really--

Their chat thread isn’t exactly brimming with messages, either. In fact, this is the first message in their log. They exchanged numbers ages ago during one of their runs, but there really isn’t a good reason for either of them to send messages to each other. Besides, Koichi thinks that it wouldn’t be good for one of the more popular heroes to be in close contact with an infamous vigilante--who knows when the police might need to check his text records, or something…

Oh… and also, his crippling shyness gets in the way of making a proper human-like text too, let’s not forget about that.

His fingers tap nervously against the keys of his phone, erasing and re-typing and erasing his messages again. Double-thinking whether it’s too eager or too disinterested or just right for him to text now, or in a minute, or in an hour--

What is he going to say, anyway? Blessings to you too, please keep watching out for us? Yeah, let’s work hard together, you on the legal side and me on the dark shady criminal side? Yeah man I can’t wait til we run again, please wear tighter jogging shorts this year hehe jk lol. Oh, wait, is this the appropriate time to confess his crazy gay crush yet? With any luck, the moment Tensei reads it, there’s fireworks in the sky, boom boom and then--

Koichi, no. Just. No.

He inhales, and lets his thumbs fly over the keypad. Happy New Year, he starts out in Japanese, ending with a :) .

Too plain. He deletes that.

Happy New Year, he writes, in English this time. There, that’s not too plain, that might be something that Tensei will at least be a lil bit amused to read. Right. He thinks about it a little more, and adds another :) .

Well. That won’t make any hearts throb. That’s… seenzoned material, that’s not really-- yeah, that’s really boring, even for a generic new year’s greeting that he’s spent a lot of thought on.

A generic new year’s greeting that he’s spent five… ten… fifteen minutes composing already. What the fuck, Koichi. Just say something, anything, just fill up the screen with some shitty fireworks kaomoji and blame it on Pop if he asks about it.

He takes a deep breath. Okay, so… the past year he’s gotten away a lot with being a little more impulsive, right? So just… say what you want, and just let things happen. Most likely nothing will happen, so.

Me: Happy New Year! Thanks for all your help this year. Hope you and your family are doing well, ‘specially Tenya. If you’re patrolling, I hope you don’t run into anyone too dangerous lol~

Before he berates himself for sounding stupid, he presses send. It gets delivered at 2218H.

Okay. Well that isn’t so bad. But the cutesy ~ makes him cringe.

He shuts his phone with a satisfying snap and takes a sip of his beer. Ugh, his face is getting warm, this beer isn’t cold enough! Come on, isn’t it supposed to be winter, where are the bitter biting winds when you need them?

No cold wind comes, only another message. He almost tosses his phone over the side of the building the moment his phone chimes again.

He takes a deep breath, flips his phone open and reads:

Tensei Iida (2221H): Thanks, Haimawari-kun! Tenya’s doing well, he’s with our grandparents outside the city. Just about to finish my shift now tho, so obviously I won’t be celebrating with everyone ^_^’ Are you patrolling too? Try not to get caught, okay?

Ahhh ahhh a real reply ahhhhhhh a blessed smiley from Ingenium, ahhh. He needs to go in and put his head in the freezer.

But he doesn’t--Tensei replied to him really fast, so surely it’s polite to reply to him really fast too. I mean it’s the polite thing to do. A guy on patrol in a quiet city has the means to reply fast, so he should return the favor.

Trying to will his heart not to go doki doki much like a shoujo manga heroine, he struggles to type, Oh, im not lmao theres a lot of you out there and i dont want to spend the new year in prison.

Tensei Iida (2224H): You’re right! That’s a relief. I don’t want to go to Tartarus just so we can go jogging together! ;) Tensei Iida (2224H): so are you with your folks? Out of town?

The winky face, and the implication that Tensei would visit him in maximum security prison should the opportunity arises almost kills him on the spot. Koichi suppresses another urge to roll over the cement tiles of the rooftop and manages to reply:

Me (2226H): nah. naruhata Tensei Iida (2327H): oh. In the university dorm, by yourself? Me (2228H): haha no lmao i dont live in the university. i live up on the roof in that one rundown apartment two blocks away cant miss it Me (2229H): but yeah by myself Tensei Iida (2331H): !!! on new years eve? Me (2232H): yeah? Tensei Iida (2335H): Oh! Well, that’s not good... Me (2236H): lmao do u feel that sorry for me Tensei Iida (2337H): It’s not that! Sorry hahahaha Me (2238H): its ok haha

Well, that’s a little awkward. Koichi doesn’t know what to say next, and when the minutes pass by, the speedy replies suddenly stops. He tries to type out another reply to tell him to change the subject but he has no clue how to proceed.

And then, the minutes pass in silence. There are more fireworks rising in the skies now, building up a crescendo for the bigger ones scheduled for midnight. They’re really pretty, but Koichi’s guts are in turmoil, giddiness making them churn in one direction, and pure anxiety in the opposite direction.

Fifteen minutes later, to his surprise, his phone chimes again.

Tensei Iida (2253H): 16th st apartment complex?

A firework goes boom behind his head. Koichi blinks. Uh. yeah, he types in dumbly.

Tensei Iida (2254H): Ok. Look down. :D

Koichi stares at the message for another dumb second and almost trips over himself rushing to the edge.

It’s a little hard to see since he’s way down there, but Koichi doesn’t miss the shiny silver and blue of Ingenium’s mecha-inspired hero suit. He’s waving up at him, and Koichi hopes that he sees him waving back.

He’s prepared to turn on his heel and run down to meet him, but he sees Tensei hold his hand up, in a gesture for him to stay right where he is. Koichi tilts his head curiously, raises both arms in a confused shrug.

He’s far away, but Koichi sees him give his trademark grin. He goes five steps backwards…

And Recipro-bursts his way up the side of the building.

“Holy sh--”

It’s less than half a minute when Ingenium makes it up and over the ledge. Smoke rises from the engines of his arms and it’s really concerning, but the way the Turbo Hero is just smiling at him with a salute, like he’s in a mission to rescue him from the burning building of his heart just... makes him melt in a stupid puddle without any sense of comprehension.

“Hey there, Crawler,” Tensei says, stepping closer to him.

“Hey,” Koichi stammers out. “Um… that was neat and all, but you know we have an elevator, so--”

The pro laughs. “Yeah, but elevators are pretty slow, and I wanted to see you faster than they would allow me.”

Anyone who is interested is free to canvass Koichi’s corpse of its vital organs. Just. Say the word.

“Yeah, you were… pretty fast, haha.” His voice catches like he’s still in puberty. He clears his throat. “I didn’t know you could run up the sides of buildings. That’s pretty insane.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know I could too.”

“Uh.”

Tensei collapses on the floor, legs crossed and arms waving in front of him like they’re boneless. “You wouldn’t happen to have any juice there, would you? My arms are feeling pretty wobbly, and--”

Aaaah wtf! “Y-yeah, hang on a sec, Iida--”

Koichi glides in his apartment in the speed of light and rummages through the scanty contents of his fridge. He has to dig a bit to find the stock of grapefruit juice at the back.

(Since that incident with the Catbus, he buys a stock of them on impulse and carries a bottle with him during patrols. In the tiny chance that he runs into Tensei and he needs extra fuel, he’s frickin’ ready. And if he doesn’t, well… grapefruit juice doesn’t taste that bad, so…)

He’s back to Tensei in record time. He tosses the bottle to him, and the pro chugs it down gratefully. He instantly looks refreshed at the last gulp, puts down the bottle with an aahhh and only grins at Koichi’s distress.

“What the heck, Iida! You haven’t done anything like that before?!”

He laughs awkwardly. “I’ve run up two storeys before, but--”

Koichi’s apartment complex is, like, ten storeys high. “Y-you could have gone splat or kaboom on the way up here, man! You could have been a really bloody human firework!”

Tensei shrugs. “I didn’t though! This tells me a lot about what I can do with my quirk!”

He’s a little too chill for someone who could have fallen ten storeys down onto the dirty Naruhata pavement, Koichi thinks. He gives him an exasperated look and collapses next to him. “Yeah, I guess, but… you didn’t have to do all that just to see me…”

He grins at him again, leans his head closer to his, like he tends to do from time to time. Koichi reckons that it’s because Tensei doesn’t have a good sense of personal space, but all the same it makes his heart throb painfully in his chest. “I felt like I did. Let me show off from time to time, Haimawari-kun.”

Ahh you cheesy bastard, Tensei, you bleeding show-off. It’s a good thing it’s so dark, because he’s sure he’s a cherry tomato by that time, and he can’t blame it on the half-empty can of beer next to him. “Hah! Sure, do that… I’d show off my new moves to you too if I could. You’re lucky I can’t, you’d feel like a total slowpoke hahaha--”

What the fuck is he saying, he doesn’t know anymore. This back-and-forth shit-talking thing (Makoto insists that it’s flirting, but Koichi disagrees because hah why would Iida Tensei flirt with a guy like him?) is more natural when they’re running out the streets and out of breath from trying to outdo each other. Without the excuse of physical exhaustion to explain away his stammering, Koichi’s a little worried of how brainless he might have sounded then.

Tensei only looks more and more amused, and doesn’t get any less close. “I dunno about that, Crawler. Been a while since we had a real race.”

“Heh, you’re right.” Koichi has been more careful using his quirk in public, out of disguise. He doesn’t wear his All Might hoodies when he’s around Tensei, unless by accident.

A silence falls between them, a slightly uncomfortable one where Koichi is hyperaware of the steadily increasing proximity between them, of the alcohol in his veins, of his rushing pulse. Trying to distract himself, he reaches out for an unopened can of beer and offers this to Tensei, who accepts.

He pulls the tab off the cheap, lukewarm thing, tilts it close to his. “Cheers.”

Koichi nods. “Cheers.”

They take a swig in unison. Fireworks explode above them, spurts of colors in the sky. The shine of the lights above do something interesting over the steel of Tensei’s suit.

“Hey, so… if you want to take your suit off--”

“Hm?” Tensei looks down on himself. “You want me to strip down? I usually expect dinner first, but for you--”

“That’s not what I--” Koichi stammers, as he flushes in an ever deeper scarlet that he doesn’t think is even possible. Ah, how drunk is he, huh? How Asian is he that he would turn this red, just from drinking this teensy amount of beer?

He takes off the metal plates more carelessly than Koichi reckons he should be handling them, and lets them down on the floor next to him with a sound. Tensei looks grateful for the extra breathing space as he leans back to appreciate the growing noise and lights above them. “This is an awesome spot, Koichi. The view’s great from up here, huh?”

“Yeah, you know it.”

(And the younger boy leans back, away from him, and tries not to appreciate how Tensei looks in just that tight black bodysuit thing he has underneath. Lean, broad, muscly, like a Greek god, and...)

A few quiet moments pass by. Tensei finishes a can. Koichi works on his third one and he doesn’t know why he’s suddenly drinking so fast. He coughs a little to clear up his suddenly tight throat. “So it’s weird because you almost died going up here, but thanks for coming up here, I guess… it’s pretty cool being up here, by myself--”

Perfectly content, and lonely, and quite possibly drunk by himself by this time, but not as drunk as he feels right there next to him--

“--but it’s cool not… looking at all the pretty lights by myself this time,” he struggles out. Stupid, really, he isn’t even looking at the fireworks anymore, just the beer can under his nose, like he’s reading tea leaves and begging for some clarity.

“Yeah. I’m glad I invited myself up here, too,” Tensei says gently. “I’m shameless I know, but knowing you’re alone up here, I couldn’t help myself--”

Koichi laughs nervously. “Yeah, you are pretty--”

When he turns his head, Tensei’s nose is two centimeters away from his. His eyes are looking right into his, freezing him in place.

“... pretty,” he swallows, already lost. “... shameless.”

Tensei makes a sound in his throat, so quiet that he can’t hear it among the sounds of explosions, but he’s so close he feels the hit, like he Shooty-Go-Blammed himself in the chest. He might be agreeing or disagreeing but fuck whatever they were talking about, Koichi can’t remember why the small talk matters anymore.

Tensei puts one gloved hand underneath his chin, a lackadaisical grin on his face showing off that sharp incisor that Koichi thinks is very cute. “Pretty,” he agrees.

He feels the change in the air, feels the charge spark in between them, through his eyeballs and his little brain.

They lean in closer. Eyes flutter closed. Koichi’s heart is beating fast and hot and electric.

Lips touch.

Explosions go off in his brain.

Ahhh, Koichi screams in his head, as the sensation of Tensei’s insanely soft lips on his beery virgin ones immediately makes him question reality. One hand goes up to experimentally touch the back of the older man’s head, fingers threading through that soft, dark hair. He pushes a little, nudges him just a little closer to him. The minuscule distance between them practically disappears.

“Ahhh--” This time his mental scream is an audible gasp when Tensei pushes him down on the concrete, supporting his head and back with gloved hands, and continues the kissing with Koichi underneath him.

Sparks of light litter the night air, like violent blooming flowers against the infinite canopy of darkness, in booms and kablooeys and claps and other ridiculous noises. Koichi doesn’t care to wax poetic about them, not when his heart is probably doing the same shit, with Tensei and his warmth is right there above him, feeling so nice and right.

Yeah, he belongs right here, right in his arms. What the hell has he done all year, the blur that is his 19 years of life, before this?

Eventually they have to break the kiss to get some of that chill air between their lungs. They gasp in unison, a dashing smile on Tensei’s face, and a dopey smile on Koichi’s. The older man caresses the side of his face. “Haimawari-kun,” he says gently.

“Yeah? Ah, it’s Koichi, by the way.”

Tensei nods. “Koichi-kun,” he repeats.

That right there is the stuff of dreams. Koichi feels like he’s overheating, despite the winter night. “Hah, is it new years yet, Iida? We should be counting down, or something--”

He gets another sweet kiss on the lips instead. Moments stretch before him. The concrete under him feels like the softest cloud as he allows himself to melt under his touch once again.

“It’s Tensei,” he breathes sensually into his ear. “And… honestly, I don’t care about the time, Koichi, just--”

There’s jovial shouting down at where the city square is, and more light and noise, far away from their rooftop.

“Yeah,” Koichi agrees with a smile. “Fuck that clock.”

They laugh like a couple of idiots, and kiss some more and damn, he could do with more of this in the coming years.

Soon, it’s January. The air is getting a little colder. They spend the rest of the first day of the new year in Koichi’s humble apartment, warmer than either of them could ever hope for.

#bnha fic #bnha vigilantes #tenkoi #koisei #haimawari koichi #iida tensei #koichi x tensei #new years kiss #let's celebrate everyone

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thestudyfeels · 6 years

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Now, before you throw your outdated iPhone 4 in the trash and dip, all I ask for is a chance. Tada! That’s it! A chance is all I need to prove that math can truly be fascinating (did reading that make you puke just a little?)

Frankly, I’m not very good at intros. But I am good at math, so let’s jump right in, shall we?

The logic behind the dislike of math is actually ridiculous. It’s a myth. A bigger one than Medusa. Well, at least she had an excuse - those cringey snake hair (tbh, I'm more turned off than scared by them).

And usually, more often than not, this myth has been passed down through our grown-ups, be it parents, a sibling, or some random guy eating burnt popcorn (the guy version of me) at school, because of which they are even the more accepted.

“Math is boring.” “What’s dx, dy anyway? Since when does the alphabet mix in with numbers? They smashed?” Here. Pause and take a moment to think about why you hate math. And also what kind of people you're hanging out with.

Your answer might be something like “because I don’t understand it”. But that’s not the ONLY reason. It’s more of something, say, you never made the effort to understand it. And why was that? Because, heck! Our seniors told us math was going to suck before we even began doing it. They have to be right, RIGHT?

The hate has been coming down since generations. Do you realize now who is to blame? Not math. It’s Adam. He got stuck at 3+3 and started all this drama. Geez, Adam.

In order to truly enjoy doing math, learn to respect + love it. Or, at least have sympathy for it (math has suffered enough, mate. He deserves to get laid too).

All the love, respect, and eye-roll provoking stuff automatically comes when you break a false belief, create a new one in its place, and take hell-bent-for-glory kind of action. This, in fact, is one of the most popular ways in the self-help department of bringing out your inner conqueror (see book recs: here) but we’re going to use it for math. Yay!

To not freak you out, let’s break it into three itsy-bitsy steps. Three steps to loving math, I got you homie. (Also, welcome to the clickbait life, we killin’ it out here.)

STEP ONE: BREAK YOUR LAME-ASS BELIEFS ALREADY, EMILY.

Here’s stepping into psychology 101. The subconscious mind, which began interacting since the moment you were born, picks up beliefs that may or may not be true. It isn’t the judge (perhaps the reason why we are effed up). Your conscious mind, the real judge, only becomes fully mature when you hit puberty and become a desperate hoe. But unfortunately, it’s late to the party. By that time, your subconscious mind is already the prom queen.

Cutting this short, the beliefs that the subconscious mind gathers, they become our truths. Even when they really aren’t. It’s sad but true.

For instance, if you saw your father struggling with accounts or your sis forgetting what tables were, then your subconscious mind might have assumed: ‘math is difficult’, ‘math needs memorizing’, ‘math leads to crying and pain’, ‘eff math’.

Taking action:

Here’s how to get rid of these false beliefs. Journal subconsciously. This means without a stop, without cuts or edits, in a flow. Next, take up each belief and understand that it was just there for providing comfort and safety (yes, we only hold onto beliefs if they give us something in return. Saying math was difficult probably gave Em an excuse not to take action. It generated sympathy and the teacher might’ve offered his free time for extra coaching).

Then, thank those false beliefs (DO NOT turn this into a self-loathing assignment) for providing that comfort and do that “shoo” motion with your hand. It’s time they ran along. Sounds absurd and simple right? It is that simple. Once you make the decision to let go of your old, fake beliefs, they really do leave you for good. Try it out.

STEP TWO: WELCOME THE NEW-NEW, SHINY BELIEFS.

Next up, we go belief shopping. I assume that if you’re reading this, your conscious mind has already come into play. If not… well, hello there kiddo! The shopping cart is not a go-kart, so please stop swinging it around, and yes, Santa is real, you get to keep that belief, but all the other ‘truths’ mommy spoon-fed you? They may or may not be. Finding out is your homework for today (welcome to my class. I teach life, sons).

Taking action:

In this step, you take up each notion and mould it into something newer, truthier (yes this is an actual word even if it sounds like Greek), and shinier. Say, for example, Emily got sick of flunking math and decided to take action (thank you for doing that, Emily. Honestly). Here’s what her journalling would look like:

“I feel dumb while doing math. It’s too difficult for me.”

This becomes: “I’ve been holding a grudge against math since childhood which blind sighted me. This time I'll give it a chance.”

“Math involves difficult calculations, which is way out of my league. For me, getting that Cali guy's number would be easier than pulling up my math grade.”

This becomes: “Through action, and not screwing around, any shit is possible. A math grade is nothing.” Also, I heard, that guy, Liam? He’s gay. Might as well go on a date with math.

This practice does sound a bit silly, but trust me, the more willing you are, the more easily will you be able to conquer math. #SaveMath.

STEP THREE: TAKE HELL-BENT-FOR-GLORY ACTION

Now that the belief breaking and making part is over, here’s the most important one. To do the goddamn math. *Drumroll*

See, nothing comes without the good ol’ hard work. That’s a fact. In the words of Lilly Singh (who is a total queen and an appreciator of cute puppies and good memes) - “The universe respects your changing of fake values for better ones. However, it respects a good hustle even more.” To get better at math, it’s important to actually do it.

Who’s excited?! *crickets chirping*

Ahem, ok. Here are my tips to get better at it:

Practice.

Math doesn’t even require making notes. Instead, it requires continuous practice. Set aside time to do, say, 10 sums every day, and build up on that. Turn it into a habit so it becomes second nature.

Understanding which way works better.

The fun part about math is that a single sum can be done in ten different ways. 2+2 can be either done by adding two choco chip cookies with two more, or you can just multiply 2 with 2 [ as 2(1+1) = 2(2) = 4 ]. Obviously, the latter works better when you have huge numbers because I know you’re broke and can’t afford cookies (same) and are way too old to go hunting for the cookie jar in your mom's kitchen. Plot twist though, this understanding, again, only comes from practice. So get down to it already.

Increase your speed but don’t compromise on accuracy.

It’s exactly what the title says. What fun is it if mom takes up the entire day to count out the cookies? And then ends up giving you one less cookie than you wanted? It’s the same with doing math. This again comes from practice so…*evil laugh*

Other quick tips (because I like tiny bullet points):

Don’t use calculators. Stop depending on it and use your mind for once (assuming it isn’t already filled with cat memes).

Get yo’self a timer. Compete with time. If you’re a highly competitive person like me, this will motivate you to work harder and get better.

Every time you see two 2 digit numbers at the same place, (say a car’s no. plate: 2312) add, multiply, and subtract the numbers IN YOUR HEAD. This will improve your basic calculation speed. So 23+12= 35. 23-12=11. 23*12=276. [ as 23(10+2)= 230+46 ].

You can find other tips about math by scrolling through my math tag: (x) (x)

Practice. There’s really no way around that.

Here are some related masterposts if you want to read more:

Conquering biology by yours truly

The math masterpost by @acadehmic

Math resources and links by @ashleigh-studies

Want instant motivation? Here’s my #ThursdayPickup!

Well, it’s a wrap! I post new articles every week (the schedule’s here) so you can follow me if you are into killing the game & conquering life. I’ll do my best to help you in the tough yet amazing journey called life. ✨

If you want to go thru my blog, I would rec picking your choice of post from my masterpost list! Or, if you want to read something insightful on your cosy afternoon while chilling under blankets, I would rec reading one of my interviews. Feeling spoilt for choices? Here’s another! If you want to implement the ideas I share in my masterposts by taking action, take on one of my challenges! + you can also request a blog post! For that, leave your question in my ask box.

I hope you are well, stay strong and conquer life, you conqueror.

- Nandini (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

#unicorn studying #*academics #math #maths #how to get better at math #studyblr #moonshinestudies #artemistudying #athenastudying #cielstudies #studyquill #studyblrmasterposts #ahsteria #elrood #uglystudies #natastudies #eveincollege #obsidianstudy #<3

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cielleduciel · 5 years

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I have some sensitive questions, and you totally don’t need to answer if they’re too much, but here they are. Did you ever struggle w internal homophobia? If so, how did you manage to overcome it?? And my last question: any tips for softly breaking it to Albanian parents? I know people are individuals but its still the same culture so..

• Same anon as before!! I am an 18-year-old girl that was born and raised in the US. Thank you so much, and take as much time as you need to answer.

• I would also like to add that I’ve struggled with this for a pretty long time now (since I was around 12), so it’s not like I realized my preferences just recently. For years I’ve been telling myself that it’s just a phase or I’m just starved of affection (so I’m looking for it in the wrong place) or that I just haven’t met the right guy yet. I feel disgusted with myself, and it’s very tiring and emotionally consuming. Add in my Albanian relatives on top of it, and I’m just done with it all.

thanks for your patience anon, this last week’s been a bit hectic for me

first off i’m flattered by that first question, bc i was the most self-hating repressed closet gay i knew. i started off as that kid that was like “i don’t have a problem with gay people i just don’t think they should get married and i hate it when they ‘act’ gay”. i went through three boyfriends and two different sexual orientations before i finally accepted i was a lesbian, which took me until april of last year. so if that’s hard to imagine then i know i’m doing good for myself, and maybe it can give you some reassurance too

tbh i don’t think any of us can ever actually avoid or stop struggling with internalized homophobia, given that we’re all inundated with those messages every day in big or small ways. i think at best i just learned how to stop listening to it so much. it took me a really long time though and honestly at your age you’re already way ahead of me than i was, the questions you’re asking yourself now are ones i couldn’t bear to face even in my early 20s

my personal struggle has been very much connected to my family and growing up as a 1½-gen albanian immigrant. if your family and upbringing are anything like mine, then you might understand, and they’re probably just as closely related to your struggle as well. don’t take what i say here as gospel since this is all from personal experience and i’m not even 100% where i want to be yet. but i know how lonely it is for us out there, so i’ll try to be as real with you as i can without getting too personal (idk if this readmore will work on mobile so my apologies and just scroll down really fast @ anyone not reading this)

first thing: don’t be in a rush to tell your parents, even if you’re an adult, and especially if you’re still dependent on them. i assume you’re asking for tips because you already know or have reason to suspect that they won’t take it well. and if you’re still struggling to accept yourself, your parents’ & relatives’ opinions are the last thing you need to be worrying about right now (i know easier said than done we’re albanian i Understand but like. trust me)

second: i really think learning how to stop listening to that internalized homophobia is just a slow process of learning to normalize your feelings in opposition to it. truly the most important thing i did for myself was surround myself with other bi/lesbian women as a way to counter everything else in my life that was telling me to hate myself. the key here is that i did that for years. the logic goes like this: if my world was already and will always be filled with heteronormativity and homophobia, then to fight it, i needed a space i could come back to that’s filled with what i needed to see and could make it feel as normal as i logically knew it was

i didn’t have the freedom to reach out to others IRL so i sought out bi/lesbian women online and immersed myself in those communities. i filled my online spaces with people like me who could show me every day that what i was feeling was genuine, normal, healthy, whole, positive, and worth embracing. when i really began to internalize that, self-confidence and assurance just kind of naturally followed, which made it easier to shout down and ignore the Internalized Homophobia Gremlin in my brain

another thing too, and this’ll sound silly. idk if you’re into video games but they were also a big part of my normalization process. i love role-playing games and for years i used them as a private, risk-free, judgment-free way to “experiment” with women and allow my feelings to “run free” after repressing/ignoring them for so long. i personally know other LGBT people who discovered themselves in similar ways (through DnD, for example). something to consider if that’s your thing. but media of all kinds can be powerful normalizing tools too, if you can find decent ones to your liking

i had to be really patient and gentle with myself though, and you’ll have to be too bc there really is no quick fix, we’re up against years of internalizing this crap since we were born, basically. do whatever you need to fight against it though, bc there is literally, objectively, nothing wrong with you. you deserve to be happy just as you are, you deserve love and to be able to find it with another woman, and remember you’re never alone in this even if it feels like you are. i think that’s the most powerful reminder

back around to your last question, worry about coming out to your parents when you’re on more solid ground, bc it doesn’t sound like you are rn. everyone’s parents are different but as a general rule i’ve found that when trying to broach a difficult subject, you really need to have your back up against a point that you refuse to budge on, and plant yourself there. you can negotiate or make arguments around it but you need that one point that you’re absolutely sure of where you’ll always hold your ground

in coming out to them, that point needs to be your identity and everything attached to it, so your confidence and sense of self need to be as solid and unmoving as a fucking mountain so that they can’t dig into you and undermine your conviction. esp bc tbh it’s entirely likely that you’ll have to have that conversation several times. so that’s why i stress working on yourself first. for your own sake, don’t jump the gun on this

also, it’ll be much easier on you if you’re not always stuck under the same roof, or at least not totally dependent on them. and i know that’s tough and complicated because a lot of us never truly “move out”, per se, and it’s normal for us to stay with our parents/family for a very long time. but if you can find a way, arrange something with friends, etc., i find it really helps with your general confidence to know you have somewhere else you can go unconditionally, without restrictions. and i don’t mean “rush to move out as soon as you can”, bc like i said, i know that’s hard on us for many reasons and it may hurt you more than you think it will. but if it’s a point you can get to eventually, it does help

after all this, if/when you eventually do decide to come out, i recommend you tell only one of your parents at first. whichever one you’re closer with or find easier to talk to (i’d say ideally whoever’s the least homophobic but like. lmao). do it privately and when you’re both in a good mood. i find altogether this makes the atmosphere less confrontational and more personal, a show like you’re “confiding” in them moreso than making an announcement. depending on how it goes i think you can adjust your strategy from there

even still, i can’t say with any confidence that it will go over well, but it’s as gentle a way to break it to them as i know. if on the very off chance you have another relative who you know is sympathetic and won’t go telling the entire rest of the family immediately, i’d say try reaching out to them first, as it’ll give you “practice” talking about it and they may be able to advise you about your own parents better than i can, as well as support you directly. but even this i would only do after you’re more confident in yourself and your identity

in the end, keep in mind that you don’t have to come out either. it’s not like a requirement for loving yourself. many of us stay closeted to our families for a very long time simply bc it’s safer, easier, and smarter wrt our situations. again, i know that’s complicated because of how tight-knit our families are traditionally, and how much we may want to remain close to them for cultural reasons. at some point it may make it difficult to hide (my mom started suspecting i liked girls before i even knew i liked girls. it was scary). but like, i’m 27 and i’m still not out to most of my family (my dad doesn’t even know). it doesn’t stop me from being a proud albanian lesbian, or from having and maintaining a happy & healthy relationship with my girlfriend. it doesn’t have to stop you either

and…. i think that’s really all i can say. sorry for taking so long and also for talking so much. i hope i could help even a little, or if not, at least offer some reassurance. it’s a good sign that you’re reaching out and trying to get a handle on your feelings, so keep at it, and remember you’re not alone out there. there are so many of us in the world living our lives and trying to build a future and support each other. i really think you’ll be fine

#asks #blog chatter #long post

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wannawrite · 5 years

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혼자야 - forever rain 🌫

blog navigator !!

day6 masterlist~

group: day6

members: park jaehyung, kang younghyun

genre: platonic, brotherly "fluff" :">>

a/n: jaehyungparkian but written with no intention of making it gay HAHAHAHA i really love their relationship +++ I WAS IN SUCH A BIG WRITING RUT so this was birthed ¡¡¡ originally a reject of my youngk series (when you love someone) LOL

imagine that brian doesnt know jae well yet and vice versa yEA HAHAHA this takes place before congratulations era~

_________________________

Just as the clouds shrouding the city in mist had so subtly predicted, it had began to rain, and it had began to rain mercilessly.

The raindrops fell from the clouds, plummeting towards Younghyun's bangs at a lightning pace as if the seemingly harmless, rolls of white and grey had finally reached its breaking point and decided to offload their anger on the public.

Gradually, with each droplet gathering into one big puddle, and escalating into a waterfall, he could see the drops draping precariously on the rough tips of his brush shaped bangs, as if he was wearing beads on the tips of his hair.

Younghyun sighed as a song he held dearly to his heart, the song that spoke for their hustling generation, Forever Rain started to play, perfectly in sync with the now, unlike him. He had sighed a lot of times today, but that was most probably, his expression to life most of the time.

His songs, too, were sighs of his own. Younghyun's self written songs were never a voice of his own-they were simply a insignificant puff of hot steam, emanating tiredly into the air like a ball of wispy feathers only to disappear into thin air two seconds.

This song on his phone too, was a sigh.

A beautiful sigh.

Just like you

If I could

Just knock on somewhere

If I could kiss

The whole world so hard

Would someone welcome me

Maybe embrace my weary body

His pretty, gradually angled eyes looked up to the sky with the gaze of a baby lamb-innocent and demure. The world seemed to stop for him as he saw the beautiful teardrops of the sky pour down, knocking furiously onto his shoulder and asking for an invitation to come in.

The clouds were of white, grey, and dark grey hues, all layered vaguely together in a gently fierce gradient as their feelings oozed out onto the lamp posts, from the tips of Younghyun's raven locks to the edges of his tailor made black shoes, skimming to the depths of the drain.

The sky when it cried was so beautiful, and so unjudgemental to whoever it poured out its feelings to.

However, beneath the curtain of his clustered, jet black hair hid Younghyun's gentle sigh-in the knowledge that he'd never be able to do the same with his group members.

Still, for the first time since he had come to the thriving, fast paced city of Seoul, Younghyun felt raw, enveloping love drip through every vein in his blood as he stood upright amidst the care of the rain, and listened silently.

____________________________

"Younghyun! What the heck, why are you standing like that there? You're a soaking mess, get over here!"

Revelling in the quiet of the rain caressing his ears gently and quickly, Younghyun hadn't noticed anything amidst his little zone of peace until his ears opened before his eyes did. Standing across the road was a tall figure with a striking, red umbrella domed over his even more striking blonde bangs.

"Wait, I'm sorry, I just-" Younghyun struggled to gather his words, scrambled across the road like the rain puddles as he broke from his standing position, with rising fear of disappointing his friend in his chest.

"You don't have to apologise. I know you've always liked the rain, you told me that." Jae laughed in his low, boyish voice before placing a hand on Younghyun, who had finally came back to reality and started to approach his friend. Knowing very well that it wasn't the reason for him standing there, the younger boy couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt surface to his forehead as he nodded slowly.

As both of them walked to the venue with a sudden, yet somehow not so awkward silence hanging around them, Younghyun knew, with an uneasy feeling in his heart-that someone that took to socialising like a duck to water, would never understand the pleasure of having something as insignificant as the rain to accompany them.

"H-Hyung?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever felt lonely before?"

The squeaky sound of Jae's rubber soles ceased with his question, and they stopped walking, in sync with the previous calmness that had soothed Younghyun.

Filling the awkward silence was the pattering of raindrops, crashing louder on the field of ridges in the pavement but a little softer on their umbrella.

Suddenly, the rain didn't seem so comforting after all.

"Lots of times." Jae suddenly spoke to break the silence, with an unreadable, blank expression on his face. Not being able to see a smile spread across his dashing, clear cut features felt very foreign to the younger boy, and seeing Jae feeling lonely, felt just as foreign to him.

Surprise was evident on Younghyun's face as he susceptibly raised an eyebrow.

"You're joking." he said disbelievingly.

Jae shook his head quietly. "No, I'm not."

He looked to the floor with an unusual maturity emanating from his gaze, and paused for a bit before speaking again.

"Just because I have a lot of friends doesn't mean I don't feel alone."

Instinctively and unconsciously, Younghyun's lips parted ever so slightly, gaze transfixed sharply onto the sad sliver of light skating across the curves in Jae's small, miniscule pupils.

He never really saw Jae this sad over something as small as being alone. Over being away from home, sure-over occasional fights with members, sure-but never, the hollowness of not having someone by your side.

Then, an uncheerful-maybe even condescending, maybe even bitter laugh slipped through the gaps of Jae's loosely clenched teeth.

"Ah, Younghyun, I really, really can relate to All Alone more than you think I can." he said, tone a lot more gentle than before before continuing, "It's funny, isn't it? When you have so many people surrounding you but it makes you more lonely than you were before."

Slowly recalling the sting of past incidents, Younghyun found himself nodding as he replied, "Yeah. It really just feels like...just feels like..."

"No one really cares."

The same words had come out from the mouth of two seemingly different people.

Then, with a brief exchange of glances, Younghyun started to giggle with an understanding, almost happy feeling in the crease of his eyes, and in turn, causing Jae to giggle back.

They both stood stupidly in the crowd, in the prominent presence of the storm clashing behind them-laughing, laughing and laughing, before reality hit their smiles like a brick and put a halt on their silly fit.

"H-Hey, Younghyun-or should I say, Brian-" Jae teased, with the corner of his smirk digging a small dimple at the side of his lips and earning a slap from Younghyun- "whenever you feel lonely, talk to me, yeah? We can be lonely together."

Casually, he hung a lazy arm around Younghyun's shoulder, eliciting an endearing, hearty laugh from the younger boy.

In turn, Jae's smirk softened to a smile.

"I'm totally cringing at myself for saying this, but-I'm always there for you."

Feeling the warmth amidst the cold weather beneath the laces and crosses of Jae's soft, red jumper, Younghyun's heart blossomed a small spark of warmth himself-a warmth he had never felt upon arriving in Seoul.

"I'm always there for you too, chicken-hyung." he smirked, masking his gratitude well and subsequently, arousing a strong reaction from Jae. "Hey, excuse you, since when were you-hahahahaha-allowed to-HAHAHAHAHA-tickle me?!"

In the rain, as two children played, beneath his squeals of laughter Younghyun thought inwardly-that if this was really the after effects of the rain, he wanted it to rain forever.

THE END

_____________________

forgive me for how absurdly cliché this story is, this is just a warm up LOL i was having writers block after church camp but ughhh i learnt sm and grew sm spiritually <333 my life has honestly changed forever and isjdjsjsjdjs im so SOOOOO thankful rnnn hhh

anywaY like this was originally supposed to follow up w my current youngk series but i didnt really write it w my emotions so i was largely unsatisfied ://// so it was an unfinished reject sitting in my notes for a while and i really never intended to publish it HAHAHAHA until i realised i hadnt wrote in ages and then liKe i felt so so empty nd i felt like i had forgot how to immerse myself properly whenever i tried to start a chapter so all of them came out really fake and it was like a 8 year old composition quality work LOL but anyway even tho im not that happy w this either i needed smth to write (without having to think up an opening LOL IM WORST AT STARTING A STORY) to help me grasp my emotions better again <33 so i started today at "H-Hyung" HAHAHAHHAAHA obvi it has to be about my 2 day6 biases uwuwuwuwuwu

IF YALL CLDNT TELL BTW THe sCOPE OF THIS STORY WAS LARGELY INSPIRED BY MY MANS KIM NAMJOON UWUWUWU stream mono guys he deserves it :3333 alt this mixtape has been getting a lot of hypE BUT hehehe idk ilh and forever rain especially :)

also i apologise if yall are getting sick of seeing so much day6 on this blog lol as u can see i have been SO SO hooked onto their music and knowing more about them so ;------; i will write whilst i have the most inspiration to do so !!

thanks for sticking by my shitty posting times rip :"""" this is also to revive the blog because l and i r on vacay watch it slowly die for the next few days iM SORRY :(

from your favourite chicken and briyani enthusiast ^3^

(WILL BE EDITED SOON)

#admin n #day6 #jaehyungparkian #uwu #park jaehyung #kang younghyun #responsibilities = neglected #sorry for being dead

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tricks-up-my-sleeve · 6 years

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((okay so spoilers for s8 ep 18 aka on the road to friendship under the cut w/ a bunch of spoiler tags just in case))

So uhhh this episode was everything I wanted? A lot of it’s subtle things, but, I’m ghkjlhgfd I’m not crying you are. I don’t do horse analysis or reviews or anything like that I grew tired of those types of things ages ago bc it personally gets to a point where it sucks out the fun for me but I’m just gonna make bullet points of all of my thoughts. Mainly involving Trixie and how this episode ties into my portrayal of her. Probably others too, though.

The little magic show at the beginning? Wonderful. I love these two performing together.. and together in general. Twi & Caddy even agree on how they’re such a good duo.

Speaking of which, Twi complimenting Trixie with a huge smile? HERE. FOR. IT.

Flurry Heart watching the show was adorable. Also the inclusion of Granny Smith was of course great.

“Doing a show with you is almost as much fun as counseling students at Twilight’s school.” Almost? I’m disappointed. It’s not the first time I’ll be disappointed in Glim this episode, but we’ll get there. She’s still loved.. but it gets rough.

Loved how Hoo’far called Trixie “Miss Powerful” and her reaction to it. Just cute and silly.

TRIXIE’S. LOVE. FOR. HER. WAGON. I didn’t expect this to be a big plot point in the ep or really ever brought up, but I was so thrilled because that’s always been a small part of my Trixie. She loves her wagon. It may be small and cramped (and also, it apparently has a pretty fucked up doorknob) but it has sentimental value. It means a lot to her. I loved this so much. Not once did she stop and consider trading it for something that a lot would look at and assume was superior.

Moonwalking Trixie.

Trixie bringing up how traveling gets pretty lonely a few times in this ep. Pretty much something that’s easy to guess or assume, but that’s also something my Trixie hasn’t been too shy of admitting, either.

Trixie!!! Levitating!!! Herself!!! She obviously learned that from Starlight. Although we didn’t see it much, I’m so fucking thrilled that we see that Trixie’s been improving her magic. An issue I had with To Change A Changeling (which is just a nitpick) is that they really don’t bring that up. Personally, ever since All Bottled Up, I’ve definitely been convinced that Trixie actually has strong potential for magic, given the right teacher. Glim Glam succeeds there. I could go more into detail to why I think this is but I’ll spare you.

Trixie on the couch in Starlight’s office. I don’t even have to say anything. Just perfect.

I love how Trixie painstakingly made room for the both of them in the wagon. To it’s credit, looking at it paused, it at least isn’t as small on the inside as it is the outside. It has an entire cannon in there. It seemed like she set up two beds for them? Perhaps at least one of them was makeshift? It’s hard to tell, since Star brought stuff and then she set up hammocks. It did look slightly cozier in there before the extra luggage, though. What I guess I’m getting at, is that although it’s a tight squeeze, it’s good to see that it can at least fit two ponies, although it’s not entirely ideal.

Seeing the inside of the wagon’s been a thing I’ve wanted for ages. I could sit and look at every little thing in there and just smile for a while. Super cute.

Trixie really is sweet and considerate, you know. Seriously. Asking if Starlight is sure she doesn’t want to ride instead of walking with her, and giving her more than one chance to back out on the trip if she wants to.

THE SONG. Tell me I’m biased, I don’t care. This is my favorite horse song. I’ve waited patiently for pony Trix to sing... and it’s just.. all so fucking cute. Too much to take in.

More of Trixie’s magic shown in her shielding Starlight. Love it.

“For untold seasons yet to come, our friendship will be here!” “For nine, at least.” FUCKING. WOW. That’s clever but it also hurt my heart. Especially since my favorite friendship duo has only known each other for three of those seasons thus far, and ultimately it’ll only be four. Too soon, Glimmy.

Trixie talking about how she learned the hard way about life on the road and saving bits and all that. I like that. It shows her more mature side, and that she’s a little street smart from experience. Usually she’s kinda shown as less mature than Starlight, and this episode shows the flip side, which I really like.

I love how she’s adamant on buying hay cakes (Haycakes? They’ve used the word pancake before, though. What’s the difference?) from her preferred stand. Like.. me too, Trix. Clearly there’s a higher quality in the line that’s actually got ponies in it.

This is where Trixie and Starlight really start to argue like a married couple. Here I thought Applejack and Rainbow Dash took the prize for that. This is so domestic tho.

The first argument, at least, is short lived. I really liked that. Trixie sighs, presumably not wanting to push farther to where she hurts Starlight’s feelings. Love how she says “No, of course not.” and continues to apologize for getting snippy. She’s really improved on being.. to put it lightly, less bitchy. It’s what I love about watching her, and while To Change A Changeling was hilarious, that was my other nitpick. She had an attitude almost the entire time.. but it was funny, and I wouldn’t go as far as to call it OOC, so I wasn’t mad. The reason Trixie appeals to me so much is that she’s definitely a much nicer pony, but she’s still her. She hasn’t seemingly changed overnight from the first time we saw her, but she’s definitely made an effort. She’s quite the sweetheart when she wants to be.

I love how Trixie states that it’s taken her years to collect all of her magical items. I just think it’s neat. Also, rightfully getting offended when her stuff is called junk.

Coward Trixie returns. This is definitely me looking too deep into it but personally I’d like to think that yeah, after the Ursa event, I’d be scared of animals outside, too.

Starlight snoring and Trixie outright performing in her sleep. Lmfao. I’ve said this like fifteen times already about other things but I love it.

I relate to these tired and grumpy girls, but even I would have made sure to save some food / juice for my pal. Well.. maybe the juice was definitely out of spite. Wish I could scold her, but I would’ve done the same thing.

The grouchy magic show hurt me to watch. It was still funny though. Again, definitely arguing like a married couple. Two tired, angry friends trying to work together is just never gonna turn out right.

I love their voices in the “Practice makes perfect.” “Not today it didn’t.” exchange. So sassy. So higher pitched. Those faces, too. Lol.

Starlight throwing all of Trixie’s shit out followed by Trix yelling “You can HAVE IT ALL!” Oof. Almost like I’m watching a breakup right before my very eyes. Also the way she runs off. These poor hopeless gays.

STARLIGHT GLIMMER CONFIRMED WORST GIRLFRIEND. I’mjustkidding. Naturally I saw this coming from a mile away, but still. Wow. Ouch. I do like though how it seems to be consistent that she can be defensive of her bad decisions. Not really realizing that what she’s doing is wrong.

TRIXIE FREAKING OUT, THEN BEING BROUGHT TO TEARS BECAUSE STARLIGHT TRADED HER WAGON. This hurt me more than you could imagine, but what hurt me even more is that Starlight didn’t even flinch, and was completely insensitive about it for a while. Yikes. I already went into how much I love Trixie’s attachment to her wagon, but this killed me.

Also, pretty sure that selling or trading somebody else’s stuff is illegal, Star. Trixie shouldn’t have beef with Hoo’far. She should just be planning a lawsuit against Glimmer instead.

Am I just crazy or stupid? When Trixie tells Starlight that at least the wagon wouldn’t have traded her away, I was like, yEAH, you’re valid. Tell her. It made total sense to me. Then Starlight just responds with “That’s ridiculous.” Like?? It wasn’t to me? I sound silly now bc I get the joke, it’s an inanimate object, but what I’m trying to get at is that Trixie was pretty much trying to say that if Starlight really was her best friend she wouldn’t have done that.

I love how Trixie doesn’t accept the flattery from Hoo’far like she normally would bc she’s real pissed. To be fair, though, it’s really not his fault. I mean.. okay, a little, considering he should have known that it didn’t belong to Starlight, and that the trade needed to be given the okay by Trixie. He’s not a bad guy, though.

TRIXIE LYING IN FRONT OF THE CART FOR HOURS BC NO WAY IN HELL IS SHE LETTING THIS GUY TAKE IT. AMAZING. Give it up for his patience, too.

Starlight finds out that you win some and you lose some with the bigger caravan. Also, I love how she didn’t realize how fucked up stuff was when she was with Trixie and having a good time. Her regret sinking in seems about right. You can see her start to miss her.

“Sometimes travelling together is hard.” “But you reminded us that you can also make it fun!” Definite lesson that these two needed. Obviously Starlight was breaking before hearing that, but those big sad eyes she gets after. Regret.

“What are you two doing?” “Taking a stand! By lying down!” Lmao. Never change, Trixie.

“Best friends who share a deep bond but weren’t prepared for the emotional challenges of traveling.” Oh, definitely. Really feel like their first trip should have been a short one. Possibly with more planning ahead of time.

Best. Friendship. Chant.

“Only true friends would be willing to act so ridiculous for one another.” Aww. True.

“At a certain point, I don’t even like travelling with myself.” Line I really liked. Also Starlight saying that it’s harder than she thought.

Despite their exchange about knowing not to do it again, eh, still not wanting to completely rule out the thought of them travelling together in the future. Like I said, with more precautions taken, pretty sure they could’ve been just fine. Mainly reserving a room at an inn, since the big issue really just seemed to be them getting crabby sleeping in the wagon. Would’ve preferred it if it kinda gave that lesson and had Trixie say that they’ll know how to handle it next time, with both of them saying yeah, but let’s not make that anytime soon.

Trixie and Starlight almost killed an old man.

That’s it, if anyone even read through all of that. Can’t really say much more. This may or may not be my favorite Trixie episode. I’ll have to give it some time, but I loved almost everything about it. (No Second Prances is my current favorite I suppose, due to it also validating a lot of how I viewed Trixie at the time, and still do.)

Like I said.. it’s just really refreshing to see her take on a more mature stance than Starlight for the most part, since other episodes usually show the exact opposite. Not that Starlight is incredibly mature in her own right, but she does usually take that role when it comes to her dynamic with Trixie. I love any chance we get to see Trixie, but in episodes like To Change A Changeling, sometimes I worry that they don’t give her enough credit. She’s not a complete incompetent bitch, and to be fair, I don’t think she ever really has been. I won’t go into how I personally view her flaws, though. Guess that could be another post.

Until next time. Hopefully there is another next time. Starlight’s line in the song about nine seasons still has me all fucked up and I need help. Maybe one day I could go back and do these for past Trix episodes.

#mlp spoilers #s8 spoilers #mlp s8 spoilers #spoilers #mlp s8 e18 #on the road to friendship #🎆 || out of peanut butter crackers. { ooc }#🎆 || a good magician never reveals her secrets. { musings }#🎆 || unbeknownst to the public. { headcanons }#wasn't sure what to tag this as but i felt at least one of them fit

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ang3leyes · 6 years

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Rebel Rebel

Notes: Hey! I wrote something?? Okay, this one goes out to @elf-scones-research for being there and listening to me rant about this for like months. Love ya bby! Without further ado, the Radio Rebel AU I’ve been planning for months.

Summary: Small, gay, well-mannered Eddie Kaspbrak has a secret. More specifically, a secret identity. By day, he stays quiet and hangs out with the self-proclaimed Losers Club, but by night, he's the smooth talking anonymous DJ 'Radio Rebel'. The genius part of it all? No one would ever suspect it. Only now, Eddie's long time crush Richie Tozier is in the picture, and there's more at stake than just his podcasted radio show.

Pairings: Reddie, Stanlon, possible Benverly

Chapter: One/Six

Word Count: 3883

Warnings: Sonia Kaspbrak. Just,,,, Sonia Kaspbrak.

Eddie flipped on his earmuffs. He checked the voice modifier. He took a deep breath. Here we go again he thought as he hit ‘Record’.

He supposed it was stupid. A bunch of idealistic bullshit, which it kind of was. But… there was just something so tempting about sounding like a bit of a smartass anonymously.

“This is Radio Rebel coming at you live from the underground,” Eddie felt something warm slide over him. He smiled as he felt it sink into his skin, felt himself becoming comfortable, for once, hidden inside his own skin. “You don’t know who I am, but I know who you are. Because I’m one of you,” this part always felt the best to Eddie. Hiding in plain sight, the thrill of it was intoxicating. He could speak his mind, he could play music and talk to people and be himself, without anyone actually knowing it was him. It felt as good as telling a secret, and it didn’t sting nearly as much.

“Before we get to a Bowie mix I made when I was bored off my ass in English, I just wanted to tell you how bullshit the report cards that came out today at Lincoln Bay are. So what if I don’t want to dress like I’m from the 1950’s? A low participation grade for short shorts, that sucks ass.” Eddie smiled. He was angry, yeah, but that's where his best stuff tended to come from. “But it’s not just the teachers, is it? Guys, we all talk shit about the school staff for putting us into boxes and shutting us down, but I thought, since grades were being handed out, I’d let you all know that it’s not just the teachers who fuck us over by judging us.” Delicate, ran a tangent thought through Eddie’s head. Fairy boy in the short shorts. “Jocks, outcasts, dorks, the pops, the gays,” Eddie took a sharp breathe from between his teeth. “We’re all so quick to judge. And, obviously, people get hurt by that. You’re you. You’re not some perfect mix of qualities that make you one thing, neither are your best friends, neither are you classmates, neither am I.” Eddie spun in his chair and sighed. “I do it too guys, sorry this turned into a tangent, I promise I’m not trying to lecture. We all have a power to change things, that’s all I wanted to remind you.” Eddie rolled his chair around in lazy circles. “Talk to the kid with the remote control car. Invite him to soccer tryouts. Ask the stoners for help on your math homework. Actively change the status quo,” he spun once more before stopping and planting his feet determinedly. “I dare you.” Eddie paused. “And I get it. Not everyone can do that right away. But this next song is what inspires me to try a little bit every day. Hope you guys like it.” With that, Eddie lowered the headset mic and spun once more to his computer, selecting the song. The opening riff to ‘Rebel Rebel’ filled his bedroom. He smirked at his own joke.

He loved this. This was his life, and for the first time in a while, he really, really loved it. This was his music, his advice, his show. Here, he could be himself.

Admittedly, at first he had been unsure. His music taste wasn’t eclectic or cool or obscure or anything people really tended to enjoy in a radio program. He listened to a strange mix of classic rock, even classic-er rock, and ‘80s pop. He didn’t know much about music either. He could clumsily play a few notes on the piano, (the remnants of lessons his mother had scheduled in his heavily drowsed childhood that he resented and shuddered at the thought of), but that was it.

All of this, he had thought, would lead to a flop of a podcast, so he had let the idea sit on the backburner. That had, however, been before the first day of Junior year, when Eddie had returned from the summer after coming out the last day of Sophomore year.

It wasn’t that he had gotten pushed into a locker or been beat up behind the school like the movies might have suggested. Instead, people treated him like he was breakable, timid and quiet. He was just so done with the soft stares and even softer words, spoken to him as if people thought that if their straightness was even a smidge louder, he would shatter. What was worse, his new sense of retrospect had given him an almost superhuman ability to see those around him struggling.

He couldn't help but see that even within friend groups, stereotypes prevailed. Ditzy blondes and rude jocks filled his thoughts for months, and it was little things that caused him to throw caution (and his fears of his music taste being inadequate) to the wind. He would give his advice and try to make a difference, even if no one would listen. What came to surprise Eddie was that it actually worked. His podcasted radio show, Radio Rebel, had caught on and, though Eddie wasn’t sure how, a significantly large portion of his school (and other schools in the area? What the hell?) listened to him every Tuesday and Thursday night.

He danced around with silly kicks and shimmying shoulders to the music playing from his computer, another show successfully recorded and broadcasted live, and began to gather his homework, set out his clothes, and get ready for school the next morning.

Though he had started this whole show because of the bitter taste school had put in his mouth, it was heartwarming to hear people listen to his advice, or to at least try to. He felt (in the moments he was walking through the school, seeing his words rippling back and forth between friends old and new and hearing his clueless band of loser friends debate the illustrious Radio Rebel’s identity) like a spy in the old films he and Ben had watched over the summer when the rest of their friends had been busy. So yeah, he was excited for school, excited to see that from behind an unknown persona, he was making a difference, and excited to spend time with his friends, who he loved with everything he had.

This excitement for school, Eddie found once more hours later as he stood by his locker with Mike and Bill at his sides.

“Ruh-Radio Rebel was a-awesome last night,” Bill said, leaning against the locker and sighing.

“I know! Bowie’s my absolute favorite,” Mike was smiling now too, the curve of his lips around his words giving him the appearance of sunshine and of sunflowers. (Eddie, of course, knew that his best friend loved David Bowie-it was one of the reasons why the man’s music had become a regular part of Eddie’s rotation).

“I don’t know,” Eddie said, hiding a smirk, “Wasn’t their advice a bit... idealistic? ‘Change the status quo’ is harder than it sounds.” Eddie was constantly undercover to find what he could do in order to make Radio Rebel universal and unbiased and, most of all, true.

Mike gasped. Bill’s eyes bulged.

“What? Of cuh-course not!” Bill declared, puffing his chest out and looking personally affronted

“Maybe they aren’t realistic, but they’re inspirational. So what if it’s hard? Rebel’s doing a good thing.” Mike, instead of defending the school’s favorite radio DJ as he had done in the past, smiled down at Eddie with a spark lit up in the corner of his eye. His smile was playful, but it almost made Eddie wonder… no, Mike didn’t know. Of course he didn’t. Nobody would ever suspect the cool, relatable Radio Rebel to be the small Gay Kid who didn’t seem to fit anywhere. Most people actually thought Rebel was a girl, much to Eddie’s chagrin and pleasure. The voice modifier worked miracles. So no. Mike wasn’t acting any out of the ordinary. Everything was perfectly normal, and Eddie was projecting.

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed distractedly. “Wish I could be more like them.”

Bill and Mike shared a look.

“W-well,” Bill said, kicking up fear within Eddie’s chest. He couldn’t know anything, none of them could.

“Bill and I have been talking,” Mike’s voice was soft as he laid a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, but instead of sounding condescending, his voice was comforting in an understanding way. “We think you should talk to your aunt.”

“My aunt?” Eddie questioned, looking from one of his best friends to the other.

“Eh-ever since you’ve been living with her, yuh-you’ve suh-seemed more confident.” Bill explained, looking a bit uncomfortable and glancing at Mike, who was the best out of all of them at giving advice without making a person feel small.

“We thought it might help you to get a job at Slam. The two of you could spend time there together.” Eddie couldn’t deny that every interaction he had with his aunt (and the owner of Slam FM Radio) Joyce made him feel just the slightest bit more solid, the slightest bit more real. But a job at Slam, one of the biggest radio stations in Seattle? He was already so busy with his own show.

(A small voice whispering, delicate, you’re my delicate boy, the slick slide of honey down his throat, something in the middle of it all, the recognizable bump of a pill in its sugar coating, bird bones enclosed in human skin-)

“I don’t know,” Eddie said instead, “It’s pretty hard to get a job there.”

“But yuh-you’re pretty talented.” Bill said, bumping his shoulder against Eddie’s with a reassuring smile that had made their whole group fall in love with him at one point in their lives.

“Just think about it,” Mike said, his forehead creasing. “Your aunt is really good for you.”

And she was. Eddie knew this, he wasn’t stupid. Ever since his aunt and her sons (one of whom he only saw occasionally due to his status of being away at college) had moved into town, they had taken him in. They had taken him from sticky half swallowed medicine and a drugged dredging summer that had seeped its way into Eddie’s pores like sap to a tree, (so slowly and so entirely that he could think of nothing else), and had given him a strength he’d never known was possible. The immense gratitude he felt, as well as his unsureness, well, that only created a thicker barrier from them. In this reverence there was hesitance, and in all hesitance there is fear.

“I’ll think it over,” Eddie said finally, looking around at the people who could care about him without making him feel breakable, letting a smile flit across his face, small and genuine as he reached up to bring his two towering friends down for a hug.

“How can you even think in a time like this?” Beverly’s voice broke through their touching moment as she and Ben walked up, completing the group of five best friends.

“We’re so close!” Ben said, and Eddie bit back an inappropriate joke. That wasn’t supposed to be him. He wasn’t funny, at least, he never had been to anybody else but himself and his cousins.

“Radio Rebel revealed the biggest clue about their identity yet!” Bev squealed, taking Eddie’s hand and spinning him in a circle.

“Stop it Beverly,” he said through stern laughter, “What do you mean?”

“In last night’s show! Did you even listen? Minute 0:27, Radio Rebel goes to our school!” Ben was positively glowing and it made Eddie feel warm all over to know his small mishap had caused that happiness. “They could be anyone all around us!”

“It could be,” Eddie put a hand to his chin and tilted his head, “Mr. Dennis. Or, no! I bet it’s Principle Marino!” Mike laughed at his sarcastic tone and slung his arm around his best friend.

“I-if you kuh-keep that up Ben’s gonna get an aneurysm,” Bill said, linking his arm with Ben’s unoccupied one.

“This is serious guys!” Ben huffed as they began to walk to Bev's locker, located farther down the hallway in a different clump. “What if I like, spill my drink on them at lunch or something? I don’t want the whole school to hate me,” he bit his lip as if he considered that to be a very real possibility.

“Benny, it’s literally impossible for anyone to hate you,” Bev said fiercely.

“You’re so sweet Ben, nobody'd do that to you.” Eddie really hoped Rebel didn’t come across as a person who’d rat someone out to the rest of the school for something so small.

“Ugh, wuh-would you look at that?” The friends were diverted from Ben’s plight as Bill pointed across the hallway where Greta Bowie was standing with her lackeys, chatting and batting her eyelashes in a way that just screamed fake as she kicked Josh Halkin’s book from where it had fallen from his hands, like the book was nothing and Josh was even less. If there was something Eddie absolutely could not stand, it was a sense of hierarchy. And, okay, as much as he preached open mindedness, he was loyal most of all, and Greta had been so horrible to each one of his friends in so many ways that Eddie found it inexcusable. This was just a sick reminder of it, and Eddie felt a fire high up in his chest that pushed him to walk in her direction at the same time Bev did.

Eddie could feel the other three following at a slower pace and looked over to Beverly, seeing the same fire on her face as he felt within himself.

“What’re you doing?” Ben called, causing Bev to turn around and Eddie to turn his head over his shoulder.

“What Radio Rebel told us to do,” she responded, taking Eddie’s arm and squeezing.

“Let’s see how far ‘idealistic’ will get us,” Eddie said, feeling less and less sure about himself by the ticking seconds, but soon he and Bev were standing right in front of Greta and her friends, who giggled meanly behind their hands as if they knew something Eddie and Bev didn’t.

“Well, well, well,” Greta said, her voice pinched as if she was talking through her nose, “What do we have here?” She raked her eyes up and down Eddie and Bev.

“We saw what you just did to Josh,” Bev said, and Eddie bit back a bit of fond annoyance at his ability to cut straight to the chase, no preamble necessary. “It was kinda rude, don’t you think?” Bev’s voice was sickeningly sweet, her eyes glinting dangerously.

“Oh, wanna fuck him too, do you Marsh? The other four aren’t enough for you?” Eddie gritted his teeth, breathless fury boiling at the base of his throat.

“Excuse me?” he bit out, causing the heads of everyone in the opposing groups to turn to him. He wiped his palms on his shorts. Why was he nervous now? He wasn’t anxious with his friends when he went to make a sassy remark, and he wasn’t when he was in his bedroom speaking into a microphone. “W-what did you just, what did you just say to her?” Greta looked a smallest bit surprised. Eddie doubted they’d spoken to one another since seventh grade. “You can’t just,” he whipped his head from side to side nervously, “Just say that! Jesus, what the hell is wrong with everyone at this school?”

"Hm," Greta hummed, tilting her head to the side. "This Rebel Rabble," Bev mumbled 'Radio Rebel' in correction under her breath as she looked at Eddie in gratefulness and awe, "Is making sickly nobodies think they can talk to us."

"Hey!" Mike stepped forward, his brave, broad chest high and his kind demeanor twisting into something angry. "Don't talk about by friends like that!" Eddie's teeth ground together once more as Ben and Bill stepped forward as well to defend him, and Bev reached out to grab his hand, because despite the fact that his friends never made him feel delicate, their protective nature sometimes made it hard for him to appear strong to others.

That didn't stop him from being grateful to all of them, but especially Mike in that moment, who, as the school's star quarterback, held the most respect among their friend group with the rest of the school and caused Greta to back off with a small 'whatever'.

"Let's go girls," she said, whipping around and flipping her hair like she was the mean girl in a silly movie as she walked away from the school's resident losers.

"Fuck off asshole," Eddie said as he glared daggers into Greta Keene's retreating form, though Greta was a bit too far away to be within earshot. Beverly snorted, and with a sad smile, Eddie realized that once more, his friends had come to his rescue. When, he wondered, would it be the other way around?

“What is up my dudes, this is Trashmouth Tozier of The 69ers,” Richie’s loud voice rang out as he focused his video camera (large and vintage from the late ‘80s because Richie was Edgy like that) on Stan, who was standing at his locker, getting his books out.

“That’s not our name,” Stan deadpanned as he turned around.

“Yeah, I know Mr. Lead Singer Big Shot, but I thought it might be time for an upgrade,” Richie said as he balanced the bulky camera and went to throw an arm over Stan’s shoulders.

“An upgrade in a lead guitarist, maybe,” Stan grumbled, causing Richie to turn the camera clumsily around to capture his face within the frame as he threw his head back in a bout of raucous laughter.

“Oh, Stan the Man gets off a good one!” Richie’s glasses dangled a bit crookedly from his face, and his hair was mused into wild curls, and these two things matched with the disgruntled and slightly windblown looking nature of his shirt (which was brightly patterned and buttoned wrong) gave him the distinct appearance of always looking breathless. Perhaps this was what gave him the feeling of always being on the edge, and maybe it was what made him feel as if he was at the precipice of a personality.

“Shut up Richie,” Stan mumbled, shrugging Richie’s arm from off of his shoulders.

“What’d we talk about, Staniel,” Richie said, wrapping his body lankily around the camera to show off a self satisfied grin, the glint in his eyes refracting in his coke bottle lenses. Stan only heaved out an exasperated sigh, his face taking on a sour pinch. “Go on, say it!”

“Hi, we’re Fight or Flight, and we’re gonna tear up prom,” Stan began and tapered off, wincing and shaking his head, as if wondering why he had become friends with Richie in the first place, “Just like Richie tore up your mom last night.” Richie let out large guffawing laughs.

“Would’ya look at that! Stanny’s really got it in him!” Stan put his head in his hands, and removed it a second later to turn to the camera.

“I lost my dignity for twenty dollars.” Richie laughed nonetheless.

“Twenty dollars well spent!” he hollered, and before Stan could release the cutting remark that sat on his tongue, Greta was strutting up to them.

“Hiya Richie,” she giggled, a fake little thing that was too high in pitch to sit right with Richie, “Hi Richie’s camera,” Stan cleared his throat, and Greta turned, her face flashing disdain before molding back up into positivity. “Uris.”

Richie rolled his eyes. Greta, he knew, was a certified bitch. He wasn’t stupid. He knew about how she bullied Stan in middle school. He knew she’d trashed the yearbook club’s classroom because the student editor had had the guts to tell her to shove it. He saw how she treated everyone in school, and Richie hated it. What made his blood boil nearly more than anything else, though, was the particular fixation she had on a specific band of students, a group of self proclaimed Losers. It wasn’t like Richie would ever admit it, but for the past year and a half, he’d been getting closer to the, again self proclaimed, Losers Club, and he liked to consider at least some of them to be his friends.

And then there was the case of Eddie Kaspbrak, but Richie tried his very hardest not to think about that. Greta had been a bitch to him for years upon years, though Richie didn’t know how anyone could do anything other than respect the guy.

“What do you want Greta?” he asked, his voice flat.

“Just to say hi,” she giggled, twisting her hair around her finger with something dangerous glinting in her eyes. “Come on girls.”

With that, she crooked her finger and had her friends trailing behind her. Richie shut off the camera.

“I don’t know what the fuck her problem is,” he muttered as he walked over to Stan. He looped his arm casually around Stan’s shoulders, because while Stan pulled away mockingly and made a face as if to tell Richie he was disgusted by him, Richie knew his best friend appreciated the contact every once in a while.

“Yeah, yeah, you have a massive friend crush on the Losers Club,” Stan said, rolling his eyes with a fond smile. Richie scoffed, affronted.

“They gave themselves an iconic name, they take no shit, and they’re just as obsessed with Radio Rebel as we are!” he gushed.

“As you are,” Stan muttered. Richie went on, ignoring him.

“And don’t act like you aren’t head over heels for Mike Hanlon,” Richie said, smacking his lips together to making over exaggerated kissing noises.

“Beep beep, Tozier.” Stan said as they walked to the pre-calc class they shared first period, his cheeks tinted pink. Richie laughed at the familiar phrase and nudged his best friend fondly. Stan had English with Mike Hanlon, the school quarterback and founder of the art club. The boy was one of the sweetest people in the school, and Stan tended to talk about him non-stop on days when he had English class.

The two boys continued on their way, joking with each other and feigning annoyance. They had been best friends for years, and while they got on each others' nerves often, they had each others’ backs.

As they passed by the losers, Richie’s eyes were drawn to the figure of Eddie Kaspbrak, whose arms were moving all around in a way that spoke of a passionate conversation. Richie smiled a bit, and tore his gaze away.

With lingering thoughts of Eddie in his head, he turned back to Stan, who was pulling up last night’s Radio Rebel broadcast. Stan offered his an earbud, which he readily took, searching for a distraction.

As the distinctive filtered voice of Rebel drifted into one ear and the precalculus classroom loomed at the end of the hall, Richie glanced over at his best friend, the comforting weight of normalcy settling down on him.

Just a normal day, Richie thought to himself, smiling at Rebel’s words.

Little did he know just how much could change in one day.

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