#i refuse to believe a cinderella kid would be blinded like that
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Okay but we've got so much on Red now in prequel book info and other sources of info and we got Red appearing a little in Uma's teaser, are we going to get ANYTHING on the other lead, Chloe Charming, though or
#since all we got so far on chloe is that shes apparently an athletic and perfectionist type#and apparently her privilage makes her naive and shit which#i refuse to believe a cinderella kid would be blinded like that#but we literally have nothing on her#the title 'rise of red' alone implies red will be the new mal getting all the focus#so dunno if that means if chloe is screwed in terms of getting anything
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Cinderella of Chicago Chapter 2: The Search
Chapter 1
Brian sat in the living room of the apartment he shared with Joe Cruz and Sylvie Brett, showing Sylvie the Tabiti headpiece. They told her the story. Brian had searched the ChicagoCon Exhibit Hall for the rest of the afternoon, and when he’d met Joe at their pre-arranged rendezvous, Joe had helped him look, too. But no luck. It was as though the girl Brian had met had disappeared into thin air.
Sylvie thought it was romantic. She wasn’t worried; she thought that it would be a simple matter of returning to the Con the next day, and hanging out at the booth where Anthony Lang was scheduled to be taking pictures with fans. She had been there the day before, she’d be there the next day. Right? Brian and Cruz thought it sounded like a good possibility.
Brian lay in bed that night, thinking back over the day. Meg had definitely been pretty. And funny. He had been impressed with her handling of the emergency with the pregnant woman, too. They’d seemed to have a lot in common, and he’d enjoyed the time they’d spent together waiting for Anthony Lang. He liked her. He wanted to see her again. He was going back to ChicagoCon the next day, and he was going to find her.
*********************
Meg spent the next day remembering ChicagoCon. She looked through the things she’d bought and started reading one of the books she’d gotten at a booth where the author herself was selling them. But mostly she thought about Brian. He had been so good looking, and such a great guy. She’d really liked that he was a little uncertain, a little awkward, because so was she. But when it had mattered, he’d handled the situation with the pregnant woman beautifully. She had really liked him, and she couldn’t imagine what he must think of her. Worse, she had no way of finding him to let him know what had happened.
She’d been separated from him, and pushed toward the side of the Exhibition Hall, and had a very difficult time getting back to the location where the woman had collapsed. She wanted to find Brian, and she needed to get her Tabiti headpiece, but when she’d finally made her way to where she thought her headpiece should be, it wasn’t there. She pushed her way through the crowd to the booth where Anthony Lang was having pictures taken. She knew Brian would be there.
Except that there had been a sign saying the photo op had been cancelled, and Brian was nowhere to be found.
*************************
Meg didn’t appear at ChicagoCon on that Sunday. As disappointed as he’d been the previous day, Brian was far more upset now. He had no way of finding Meg; he didn’t even know her last name. All he knew was that she was a nurse.
He thought about putting an ad in the Sun Times, or maybe on Craigslist: We were at ChicagoCon; you were the pretty Tabiti I was hitting on, I was the devilishly handsome Sumendi with the real, working wings. Come try on the headpiece you left behind. If it fits, let’s get married.
“C’mon, Otis, it’s OK. Maybe you’ll run into her somewhere,” Sylvie tried. He was really bumming. She tried to ignore the thought in the back of her mind that, if Joe hadn’t also seen this paragon, Sylvie might not even believe she existed. Sometimes it was a little difficult living with such a hopeless romantic.
“Yeah, maybe. I’m going to bed. We got shift tomorrow.”
Poor Otis. “OK,” Sylvie called after him as he headed up the stairs. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Cruz grinned a little sadly. “Poor guy. She was cute. But he’s never gonna see her again. Chicago’s just too big. And who’s to say she’s even from here? She could be from anywhere – from Minneapolis to Indianapolis. It’s a big Con. People come from all over.”
“Well, for heaven’s sake, don’t tell him that right now.”
****************
“So you met this guy, and then he just disappeared?” April Sexton was fascinated. This could only happen to Meg.
“Yeah, but… Well, no. It was kind of me who disappeared, I think. I got shoved away by the crowd, and when I got back to where he’d been, he was gone. And so was my headpiece.”
“Ooh, so it’s a clue. You can tell the police to search for your stolen headpiece.”
Meg scowled at her. “Don’t you have a life to save or something?”
“OK, sorry, I didn’t mean to make fun of you. It’s kind of romantic. Weird, and dweeby, and a little bit sad, but romantic.”
Meg gave April the finger behind her scrub jacket so no patients would see. “You are not helping.”
“Look, I have an idea. You’re never gonna find this Brian again. But how about if we get some people together and go to Molly’s after shift? Maybe you’ll meet someone there.”
Meg thought that sounded like a great idea.
*********************
“Hey, Earth to Otis!” Herrmann shouted, smacking Brian on the back of the head.
“Oh, wha- Sorry.”
“I could use a little help with these hoses, Space Cowboy.”
“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.”
Brian refocused and continued rolling up the hoses they’d been inspecting for damage. Behind him, sitting at the Squad table, Cruz was having a phone conversation with his girlfriend, Chloe. Brian liked Chloe. He liked that Joe had a girlfriend. But it was really hard sometimes to be the third wheel. And somehow today, having met a girl he felt really good about and would, in all likelihood, never see again, it was especially hard hearing Cruz talking ridiculous, gooey crap with Chloe. Brian wanted to talk ridiculous, gooey crap to someone.
He was glad to hear the alarm go off. He wanted to think about work.
************
Meg had to tell the story another three times at work, and she was tired of it. So when April tried to get her to tell the story to Ethan Choi, she’d begged off.
“You tell him. You’ve heard it enough times.”
Maggie Lockwood tried to get her to look on the bright side. “So, you never see this guy again. Big deal. You know he exists, which is proof that guys like that do exist. So now you just have to find another one. Only, next time, maybe you should get his phone number right away. Just in case.”
“Here’s the part I don’t get. You know this guy’s deepest thoughts on some superhero character who doesn’t exist, but you didn’t think to get the number of his firehouse.” This from Will Halstead, who really wasn’t in much of a position to be judging anyone on their romantic choices.
“Leave her alone, Will. Nerds are… different.” Maggie and Will shared a laugh that Meg didn’t appreciate.
“Screw both of you,” Meg said. “The next round’s on you. And the next time either one of you has even the slightest hiccup in your love lives, I’m so mocking the shit out of you.”
“That’ll be a nice change,” Will smirked, getting up to get another round of drinks.
Maggie put a hand on Meg’s shoulder. “Hey, all kidding aside. Are you OK?”
“I’m fine,” Meg answered, smiling more bravely than she felt. “I met the guy once. I talked him for a grand total of like an hour in my entire lifetime. Pretty sure I’m not going to be joining a convent over this. But thanks. It’s just hard, you know? You meet a guy who seems like… Let’s just forget it. Let’s talk about something else.”
******************
“I have an idea,” Stella Kidd said across the dinner table at the firehouse. “I have this friend…”
Brian groaned. “No more blind dates. No. I refuse.”
“No, she’s beautiful! You’ll love her. Her name’s Gloria and she…”
Kelly Severide broke in. “Run, Otis. I’ve met Gloria. Most insecure woman in the world. She’ll – Ow!”
Kidd had smacked him in the arm, and the sound alone told everyone around the table that it would probably leave a mark.
“No blind dates. New subject.” Brian was relieved to see that the conversation moved on.
The evening was quiet at Firehouse 51. Somewhere between the time the early sleepers and the night owls went to bed, Herrmann came over to where Brian was reading a computer gaming magazine. He held his phone in front of the magazine so that Brian could see a picture of a pretty woman about his age. Brian looked up curiously.
“Cindy’s friend from Zumba. I’ve met her. She’s normal. Divorced, no kids, and this picture was actually taken within the last year. If you want, I can invite you both over for dinner. Or we could go out. No pressure.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because I’m sick and tired of your long face and your ‘poor me’ attitude. The sooner you get a girlfriend, the sooner I can stop hearin’ about it. Whaddaya say?”
Brian sighed. “Fine. Set it up.”
“Good man.”
****************
Ethan Choi took the barstool just vacated by Maggie as she went to play darts with Will.
“Hey, Meg, I, um… I’m no good at this stuff, but I do happen to know a guy, if you’re interested in meeting him. He’s a Navy buddy. He’s cool. And a totally nice guy.”
“What’s wrong with him?”
Ethan laughed. “Nothing! He has a job, isn’t fresh off a long-term relationship, not a convicted felon, has a-“
“Wait, not a convicted felon? Meaning what? He was acquitted? He wasn’t caught? What are you telling me here?”
“Look, if you want, I’ll introduce you. That’s the best I can do. He’s a good guy. Really.”
“He doesn’t play the harmonica, does he?”
“I don’t know. Is that a dealbreaker?”
“Absolutely.”
“OK. Tell you what. I’ll ask him. If he doesn’t play the harmonica,” Ethan gave Meg a sideways scowl that was only half mocking, “I’ll invite him out for a drink after shift. I’ll have him meet me at the hospital. And if you like him, you can join us. If not, you don’t come with us and no one’s the wiser.”
“Huh.” Meg pursed her lips and nodded. “You’re actually kinda OK at this.”
“High praise.”
“Let me meet him first. If he’s all right, then you’ll get high praise. For now, you just don’t suck.”
Ethan shook his head. “The right guy might not actually be your problem,” he muttered as he returned to his seat next to April. Meg laughed.
**************
Dinner with the Herrmanns the following week took place at a restaurant that had pretentions to fine dining, but was pretty much a jumped-up family restaurant. It was exactly the kind of place Brian would expect Herrmann and Cindy to go for a romantic dinner. True to Herrmann’s word, Cindy’s friend Theresa looked just like her picture. She was perky and a little bit of a smart aleck, which Brian liked. She smelled great, like lavender and some kind of expensive soap, and she had a seemingly endless supply of funny stories about her job working for the State of Illinois. It was a pretty impressive job, too; she was highly placed in some state agency or another, with a great deal of responsibility. It sounded like she and Brian were fairly well aligned in terms of policy and politics.
The dinner was long and there was plenty of good wine. Laughter came easily and frequently. By the time it was over, Cindy was mentally planning Brian and Theresa’s wedding. They looked kind of cute together; Theresa’s blonde bob and light blue eyes were a good counterpoint to Brian’s dark hair and eyes, and they were a good height for each other. Cindy kept kicking Christopher under the table and giving him significant looks. He just smiled indulgently. He’d seen this before. He’d wait for the verdict from Otis. Still, things looked promising.
Theresa thought Brian was about the cutest thing she’d ever seen. Of course, that ridiculous sweater would have to go, and he needed… something done about that weird facial hair. But there was a lot of good raw material to work with there, and he was such a good listener! She liked that he laughed at her jokes, and she appreciated many of the things he said that let her know where he stood on things that were important to her.
And Brian felt absolutely, positively no chemistry.
He walked her to her car. In an awkward exchange he had no clue how to avoid, he put her number into his phone, and she did the same with his. He didn’t know whether she expected him to kiss her or hug her or whatever, but he did neither. All he really wanted to do was a massive facepalm. He didn’t do that, either.
When she’d driven away, Herrmann and Cindy attacked.
“So? Pretty great, huh? You gonna see her again? Did you make a date?” Cindy enthused.
“Well, not exactly-“
“You got her number, though, right?” Herrmann asked.
“Yeah, yeah. I got it.”
“And you’re gonna call her, right?” Cindy prodded, actually physically poking him in the side.
“Yeah. I guess. Yeah.”
“You do that, Otis. After this, I don’t wanna hear any more gripin’ about your love life, OK?”
“Sure. Thanks, Herrmann.”
Brian waited until he was in his car before he heaved a deep, deep sigh.
**********
Ethan Choi’s friend was hot. There was no other word for him. He had longish blond hair that moved as he did, and eyes of an indescribable color of blue. The color of blue inside a glacier, maybe, or perhaps the color of the sky seen from an airplane above the clouds. Meg had expected him to be in good shape; he was (or had been until recently) in the Navy, after all. He didn’t disappoint in that area, either.
So she cheerfully followed the group to Molly’s to get to know him. When he started nuzzling on the neck of her fellow ER nurse Monique an hour later, Meg shook her head, swallowed the rest of her beer and left just before they did.
As she walked out the front door of Molly’s, Brian walked in the back door to begin his shift behind the bar.
*****************
Will Halstead came around the corner, nearly colliding with Meg as she hustled to her car accident patient’s room carrying a chest tube tray. Deftly avoiding the crash, Meg muttered something rude but kept going. Her patient was in a bad way, and she needed to get back to Baghdad so Ethan could place the chest tube.
Will continued into the treatment room, tablet in hand, to let Brian know his lab results. “You’re gonna need some FFP, and you’re gonna need to see your hematologist as soon as we can get you in. But it doesn’t look like you’re bleeding anywhere crucial, it’s just a lot of bruising this time.”
Brian looked at the large, dark bruise on his right shoulder. “You sure? ‘Cause this looks bad. And I don’t even know what I did.”
“C’mon, Otis, you know how ITP works. It could’ve been just a little tap on your shoulder, but when your blood’s not clotting right, this is what you get. That’s what the FFP is for. We’ll get that in and get you set up with your hematologist, get your meds adjusted, and you’ll be fine. You’ve done really well with your diagnosis. Don’t lose heart.”
Brian sighed. “All right. Fine. It’s just… scary.”
“I know. But you’re OK. I’ll have Monique get you that FFP.”
Unfortunately, the patient who had been in the car accident didn’t make it. The team had worked for hours, and tried everything possible, as evidenced by the chaos of far-flung debris Meg and Maggie were cleaning up. They tried to make the trauma room as normal and placid as possible for the family, who would be coming in to say their goodbyes to the patient once she was ready for them to see her. When they had the room as good as it was going to get, Meg went to the desk to chart on the patient while Maggie went to the waiting room to escort the grieving family to their loved one.
Monique walked over to the desk, searching around the computer where Meg was working. “What are you looking for?”
“Some paperwork for Zvonecek, my ITP patient? You seen it?” Monique asked.
“No. Sorry.”
“Otis was here?” Maggie asked, arriving at that moment.
“Yeah. Left about half an hour ago. He’s fine. Just some bruising, needed some FFP. But I can’t find that paperwork.” Monique continued her search, moving along to the other side of the desk.
*******************
A week later, Sylvie Brett and Emily Foster brought a kid to the ER with smoke inhalation. The kid was doing poorly, but the fire was out and they wanted to stick around and see how the little boy did. While they waited for his latest blood gas results, they had a cup of coffee with Meg and April, just catching up.
“How’s everybody at 51?” April asked.
“Oh, you know. The same. Herrmann’s freaking out about a health department inspection at Molly’s, and Otis has a broken heart,” Sylvie answered, smiling affectionately.
“Oh, no! Who broke Otis’s heart this time?” April laughed.
“Some girl he barely met.”
“Hey, Meg had that same thing happen to her. We should get these two together.”
Meg held up her hands. “No way. I’m entirely done with blind dates, and I’ve heard too many Otis stories. Leave me out of it. Poor shmuck sounds like a trainwreck.”
“No, he’s cute, though. He’s my roommate, I can vouch for him.”
“Then you date him. I’m going to check on Tyler’s O2 sat.” Meg went into the little boy’s room before she could get roped into another humiliating experience like she’d had with her friend’s cousin Harold or Ethan’s Navy friend.
The little boy, Tyler, eventually stabilized and was admitted, so Brett and Foster left to return to the firehouse. It had been a while since they’d all had a chance to talk, though, so they decided to meet at Molly’s the following Friday, the next time they’d all be off shift.
*****************
Molly’s was packed. It was a Friday night, for one thing, and it also happened to be payday for City of Chicago employees, so everyone was in a good mood. Besides which, the first snowflakes of the season had just begun to fall outside.
Brian was hustling down in the storage room, trying to make sense of a delivery that had come in late that afternoon and keep up with the continual calls for re-stocking that kept coming from up in the bar. He hauled a case of bottled IPA up the stairs, then turned to set it heavily down on the floor behind the bar. As he did, he thought he caught a glimpse of a familiar dark copper hair color. He did a quick double-take, but whoever it had been had melted into the standing-room-only crowd. Besides, by this time, he was pretty sure he’d imagined the girl he’d met at ChicagoCon, Tabiti headdress or not. He knelt down and began loading the bottles of ale into the cooler.
Meg blinked, then turned slowly around. She thought she saw… No. When she looked behind the bar, the only people tending it were Herrmann and Stella, and another bartender she didn’t know. Good grief. Now I’m hallucinating. This might be a good night to just curl up with a book.
Meg returned to her table with a fresh round of drinks. Sylvie was gushing about her new boyfriend, Kyle, a CFD chaplain, of all things. She really liked him, and it appeared he liked her just as much. Foster was excited about some girl she’d met at a training the week before, who was supposedly going to show up at Molly’s tonight. Things seemed to be heating up for Ethan and April again, and even Will was apparently interested in an FBI agent who had been involved in the case in which he’d been kidnapped on the day he was supposed to marry Natalie Manning. Meg felt lonely, even in a pressing crowd of people, most of whom she knew.
Brian noticed Kelly and Stella making goo goo eyes at each other over the bar, not an uncommon occurrence these days, but not something he was really in a mood to appreciate when he was as busy as he was, and when he was feeling kind of left out. Everyone seemed to be in love. The Chief was sitting a couple of stools down from Severide, flirting with his wife, who was sitting next to Matt Casey and the reporter he was seeing since they’d been investigating those trailer fires together. Even Capp, at the far end of the bar, was having a very cozy discussion with a guy who seemed to be very interested, given their body language. Definitely time to get back downstairs and get some more of that delivery sorted.
When Emily Foster’s new crush showed up, Meg decided it was time to go. She was really not feeling this night. The girl, Amanda, was adorable, and seemed to be quite into Emily. Not only that, but she was great. Everyone liked her. Yeah, it was definitely time for Meg to call it a night. She couldn’t even be happy for her friends.
“Hey, guys, I’m gonna head out,” Meg announced as she finished her beer.
“What, so soon?” Sylvie asked, surprised.
“Yeah, I’m exhausted. Long week. I’ve got a hot date with my pillow. Sorry.”
Meg pulled on her peacoat as everyone said their goodbyes, shouting over the din of the masses crammed into Molly’s. She tried to smile, which actually wasn’t as hard as it could have been, because she was pretty relieved to be getting out of there.
The stack of boxes of dry goods wasn’t going to make it through the gauntlet behind the bar to the storage closet on the other side. Not with the extra buckets of ice and boxes of bottled beer back there, to say nothing of the bartenders running around trying to serve the capacity crowd. Brian decided he needed to wheel his hand truck out the back door and around to the front. He’d still have to make it past a lot of people, but it was a short distance, and he didn’t think they’d mind moving out of his way. Everyone was having a pretty good time. Everyone but him, that was.
He pulled the hand truck up the stairs and out onto the sidewalk at the side of the bar, then headed to the corner of the building.
Meg waved at those who caught her eye, dipping her shoulder and turning to the side to slip through the partying throng to the door. Gratefully, she pulled it open and stepped out into the much cooler air outside, where fat snowflakes were lazily swirling down through the night air and just beginning to whiten the sidewalks. She stood for a second, taking a deep breath of the fresh air and admiring the prettiness of the snowflakes in the light of the streetlamp.
Hearing a noise to her right, she turned to see a hand truck emerge around the corner of the building. Behind it, also looking up at the snow, was Brian. Brian from ChicagoCon.
Meg sucked in her breath in surprise, catching his attention. Brian stopped in his tracks, the look on his face mirroring the shock on her own.
“Brian?” Meg asked, her brows drawn together as if she couldn’t quite make sense of what she was seeing.
“It’s you,” he said, rather obviously. And then he smiled.
That smile was all it took to let Meg know that this was, in fact, the man she’d met at ChicagoCon and come to believe she’d never see again. Laughter bubbled up from a sudden sense of the impossibility of this happening, and the joy that it actually was.
“I thought I imagined you. I looked for you everywhere,” she said breathlessly.
“Me, too. I even went back the next day. I… I have your helmet. Headpiece. Whatever.” His smile was dazzling, and Meg found his sudden gawky insecurity as charming as anything he’d done so far.
“Yeah, I… Who are you? What are you doing here?”
Brian laughed adorably. “I work here. I’m one of the owners.”
“But I know all the owners. Except one, and his name is Otis.”
Now Brian really laughed, and ran a hand through his thick, black hair. “That’s me. I’m Otis. I mean, they call me that. It’s not my name or anything.”
”You’re Otis? That’s you? But I’ve been hearing about you forever. How come we never met?”
“I don’t know. Do you come here a lot?”
“Are you kidding? I work in the ER at Med. I’m here all the time with the crew.”
Brian shook his head. “This is incredible. We know, like, all the same people. How have we never met before this?”
“Well… we have.” Meg smiled happily and Brian set the hand truck up on its base, leaning on the handle.
“I guess that’s right,” he said. “And now here we are. So, listen… would you want to come in? Have a drink with me?”
“No.”
His face fell. “Oh, I… sorry…”
“I’m not moving from this spot until you put your phone number in my phone. And your name. Your whole name. And an address. Just in case. Do you have an emergency contact? Put them in, too.”
There came that blinding smile again. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket as she pulled hers from her jacket.
“It’s Zvonecek. Brian Zvonecek.”
“Oh, boy. Here, put it in my phone. I’ll have to work on pronouncing that.”
“What’s yours?”
“Armstrong.”
“That one, I think I can handle.”
They traded phones and put their contact information in.
“Za-von-eh-check, huh? What’s that, Polish?”
“Russian.” Brian said something in Russian and Meg felt a definite weakness in her knees.
“I have no idea what you just said, but whatever it was, it was… wow.”
“Well, if you liked that, I got a whole lot more to say to you. How about that drink?”
“Lead the way. Otis.”
“You call me Otis, I call you Margaret.”
“Yikes. You play hardball.”
“Just letting you know the rules.”
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It started when I was just a kid. Our father was always on a war path of beratement, with my mom, brothers, and me. He never hit me directly, but he would grab and smack me, hold me up by the collar of my shirt. Scream at me nose to nose. and I got it the mildest. Everyone else would get hit, unless they obeyed.
I was told every day that I was worthless, useless, pathetic etc. By everyone but my mom, one aunt, and my grandmother. These were the only people I trusted.
My best friend from age 0 to 11 was...arguably my only friend. Already feeling unworthy of love, I did anything she asked. She eventually went power hungry, always manipulating and threatening me to do as she wanted. She would abuse an assault me, as well as say fucked up things to me so I would hate myself.
She would get me to tell her classified info, tell me she cared, make me feel loved, then just turn around and use the info to manipulate me. A very intelligent 10 yo. This went on and got worse and worse until some horrific and unspeakable things happened. We were always left unsupervised with her brother, and no one would believe anything I said, because she was always the better diplomat. I stopped contact after the things that happened. She still tries to get back in touch.
Right after this, my dad was kicked out as he started hitting me forcefully, and telling me how stupid, and worthless I am incessantly. My mom couldn’t handle it anymore and at the time he was having an affair, he moved the woman and her son in with us. They all left at the same time, and i think it was mere days before Stepdad moved in.
Stepdad was never physically abusive, but he was a teenage party animal trapped in a man’s body. I didn’t sleep, because there was suddenly a non stop drug party at my house every night with people having sex in my hallways. And injecting heroin on my couch. The same men would repeatedly break my door down, sometimes passing out in my bed, on my floor, or getting knocked out by anyone who noticed them trying to get in my room. No nothing happened, but its likely because they were too drunk.
Mom got heavily addicted to the party scene, and I barely saw her, and when I did, she was very very rarely sober. My brothers had both more or less found other places to hang out at this time. I had to start cooking my own rice suppers, and making my own lunches, begging for money, and clothes etc. At the time I didn’t really know how to “cook cook”, but I learned.
Every day, stepdad would tell me how stupid and ugly and useless I was for the next 8 years. Always reassuring me that nothing I say or feel matters to anyone. I retaliated, but it would only make his words sharper, and make my mother resent me more and more. The more I stood up for myself the more horrible he would get.
I start middle school at this time. and made a new friend. Coincidentally the same name as the previous friend. Again, the only friend who would put any effort in, and made me feel like no one else would want to know me. She was incredibly manipulative. More so than my previous friend. She would dig and dig and dig so much that she would even “entrap” me into saying things I didn’t even mean, just to use them against me, or use it as ammunition to gossip about me to other people that I also though were my friends. She tricked me into doing humiliating things, degrading things, illegal things. Things I still have actual scars from
She forced me into several relationships with guys she liked so she could make them cheat on me. She would torment me by manipulating other people to berate and make fun of me publicly, and also harass me on the phone or via msn, just to see me fall apart, and then “help put me back together”.
Manipulating me and turning everyone I trusted against me. Her manipulations and rumors cased me to be assaulted and betrayed several times, and convinced me I should be happy to take the compliment, because no one else would ever want me. It took a long time, but eventually, 5 years later I realized her motives were all poisonous, and she was more or less pimping me out. Convincing me i’m ugly and disgusting, and I owe it to these boys to give them attention. Its fucked up what taking advantage of vulnerability can do.
it was around this time I started drinking vodka as often as I could get my hands on it. I had run away from home and was staying with a friend. My boyfriend at the time could get me booze, and his friends all had cars, so I was able to find some escape from all the trash in my life. I was 16 at this time. Eventually I had to accept that begging for money, and doing odd jobs wasn’t enough. I had to go back home and face the mess. At the time mom was on meds for her back, and I started hand feeding her supper, because she was on opiods. Then the hurricane hit and I had to move in with my aunt.
Within the first few weeks of living there, I was still coming home to see my mom once a week. But, her and my brother just kept stealing my things and my money to buy weed or booze or whatever. I got fed up and called her out on it. To which she slapped me across the face, shoved me out the front door and told me I wasn’t her daughter. I fucked right off and didn’t look back.
My aunt treated me like a dog. I wasn’t allowed to use the hot water, or turn the heat on in my room. I wasn’t allowed to go with them on trips or dinners or anything. I wasn’t allowed to enjoy much at all. Not allowed to go to the mall with my cousin, not allowed to go fishing etc. Despite my dad sending her $1000 a month for me. But at the same time was in charge of 4 other kids, plus 3 more when the cousins were there for a visit. All the while, cooking and cleaning and making lunches, and delegating chores and helping with homework etc. These kids still consider me to be more like an aunt than a cousin or foster sister.
Each day, the only things my aunt would have to say is that I was not good enough, no one cared about me, i was worthless, and useless, and barely a person to her. People only pretend to like me because I am pathetic. When people would visit, they would call me cinderella, if that doesn’t say enough She would always talk about how I was a worthless slut who didn’t appreciate her generosity, and would never amount to anything. I would just be an addict like my mom, blah blah blah. This never stopped me from telling her off. But telling her off only made her angrier and more viscious.
One day, I had come home from visiting with my other aunt and found a van packed full of my stuff. My uncle had just had a heart attack and was recovering in the hospital. She blamed my uncles (who is nothing but pie) heartattack on my insolence and had made the decision to kick me out before I even reconciled with my mother. My mom took me back but she was pretty fucked up about it. My previous boyfriend had also recently left me for a girl he had been seeing, my new boyfriend was a very cruel and distant guy, always telling me how stupid and weak and etc. I was, and I just had my wisdom teeth removed so I was not in a great headspace either. Thankfully it was only a few weeks away from staying with my grandmother for the summer.
By this point, I was “adopted” by another girl, who was also a victim of the previously mentioned girls abuse. Though it turns out she simply learned the tactics for herself. It was a repeat of the previous two friends. She was very clung to me, as I think she became addicted to abusing me. So much that she even followed me to the city when I moved for school. She squatted in my dorm room and refused to leave.
And again, found my best friend trying to pimp me out so she could get the guys on her radar. Or just to watch me suffer, or berate me for allowing my weak mind to be manipulated. After countless abuse and manipulation, I just snapped out of it, and wasn’t falling for it anymore. I started to be resistant to her manipulation. Not enough though, again she was still me only real friend in a new world.
I had told her many secrets and personal things that I hadn't told anyone before, and again, all she did was use it against me, calling it “experience” instead of “trauma” and used me as a pawn because of it. Just like the previous friends I had also trusted. We ended up moving in together, and lived together for a year until I eventually became a lost cause for her. She moved out, leaving me with no way to pay rent, and i ended up renting a room to a sleezeball whose cheques always bounced. She too, lied to me constantly, telling sob stories and manipulated me out of thousands of dollars.
Unfortunately you would think this would have opened my eyes, but I was so lost and confused, it only made me blind and unsure. I felt I could no longer trust friends to respect anything about me. I stopped opening up to friends, and assumed boyfriends would be a better bet.
I started seeing someone who I had been friends with for a few years. I had dated a few guys, but they were all more interested in their ego than anything else. Again always telling me I was nothing, worthless, stupid, gross, ugly, unreachable expectations of respect or consideration etc. This guy though. He was very sweet, always knew the right things to say to make me feel sorry for him, make me trust him, find him non threatening etc.
He became physically and sexually abusive almost immediately after he got me to open up to him about myself. As soon as I told him anything personal, he would use it as a bargaining chip, or as a threat, or would use it to manipulate me into thinking he was being normal. I was trapped with him for a little over a year before I found a weak link and broke free. I am still unable to have showers with an obscured curtain without the risk of a panic attack.
Not ONE of my friends would listen to me when I tried telling them what he was doing to me. They just told me I misunderstood him, and that he is a sweet guy with his own issues and I just have to be okay with that. “Don’t throw him away and disrespect him like all the others”. Not even telling me to leave if I’m unhappy, but that I owe it to him to try harder to accept him.
He then stalked me for a few years, and still even now, most of my friends don’t want to hear it, they love him, and whatever I say is probably a fabrication to make myself look better than him or whatever it is they tell themselves.
I had finally broken things off right before moving to new place. I started seeing another old friend, who was fairly reliable and a lot of fun to be around. We had lots of mutual friends, and his parents took me in a lot in high school. We started to talk, and open up to eachother, and slowly but also quickly, I found out he too was a very troubled guy. It didn’t sink in until it was too late, I knew things were shitty, but he convinced me that moving in together would be the best thing for us.
He was incredibly controlling right away and I don’t believe one day went by where he didn’t sit me down and berate me into crippling despair. He would not be affectionate even in the slightest with me, other than to humiliate me in front of our friends. After he would have one of his “talks” with me, I would be a ball on the floor sobbing, and he would just leave the room and tell me i was a “stupid worthless bitch”. I was confined to his parents house. If I went out for a walk, or anything of the sort without getting permission first, he would scream at me and berate me. If I got out of bed before him, same thing, if I didn’t make him breakfast perfectly before work, same thing. He was never physical, but he would throw things around, and scream and yell. He is still one of the most intelligent people I have ever met, which basically just means he knew all the right words to rip someone apart. And all the right arguments to make them feel wrong.
Every minute detail I told him about me, became a tool. Every single bit of knowledge became a point of manipulation and control. He didn’t want a girlfriend, He wanted an outlet. He even forced me to go on meds, so I wouldn’t be so emotional about it. SO I wouldn’t retaliate and see what he was doing.
I eventually started seeing what was happening, when i got used to the feeling of my face being swollen, but it took a year and a half of it for me to realize I didn’t deserve what he was doing to me. Unfortunately during this same time I had found a new friend, who I was only kind of open with, but I was on meds at the time, so I may have been more open with her than I realize. She was using 100% of the info I gave her to turn other friends against me, and to eventually alienate me entirely for reasons I couldn’t really figure out. She claimed she was helping me deal with my abusive situation, but she was just using the opportunity to manipulate, and control someone so she could feel superior.
Her recently exed boyfriend realized what she was doing, and decided to tell me about it. we started talking more and more, and we started an emotional affair. my boyfriend found out about it pretty quickly as he was always reading my e-mails and texts while I was sleeping or out. at that time we were just about to move to another town for him to finish school. We broke up, but he convinced me I needed to make a friendship work with him. Keep in mind, I was living with him in an unfamiliar own yet again.
I then didn’t sleep for months, as each night he would sit at the foot of my bed and tell me how much of a piece of shit I am, and that I don’t deserve to live. If he kills himself it will 100% be my fault etc. I would go to work exhausted with swollen eyes. He would visit me on lunch breaks to berate me some more. making me cry in public, them making me feel like shit for embarrassing him for crying in public, and being weak and pathetic enough to do so.
During this, I was still talking to the other guy, we were meeting in hotel rooms and whatnot. he was the only person who would listen, or help. Eventually I made my brother move to the town and get a place with me so I could escape. and this guy moved in also.
He was smart, and kind. We opened up to each other quite a bit. I don’t believe any guy has ever been as open with me as he was. I felt comfortable being 100% transparent with him in no time, same on his side. This probably sounds great, but sometimes you forget that fact knowledge isn’t always emotional knowledge. and when you know enough about someone, you think you can rewire them.
Instead of accepting me, and loving me for who I was, he spent the next 5 years trying to groom me and change me to what he wanted. Using every aspect and detail I had opened up to him about to use as leverage. He often told me I was disgusting, or weak and that no one could ever love me like he does. On a daily basis he would tell me no one would ever care about me or my feelings or my life. I was never pretty enough, or well dressed enough, or clean enough, or organized enough. Nothing about me was perfect enough for him. Like previous boyfriends, he spent a lot of hours trying to convince me to just not have friends. He would make me feel like shit for spending time with people, or investing in them, and always try and convince me I don’t need them and shouldn't trust the,.
Always bringing up things from the past as evidence I should only ever trust him, and depend on him. The worst part about this, was that I always believed him, always. Every word he said, every action he took, every opinion, every resistance. Every time he would discourage me, I always was convinced it was “for my own good”. He seemed to resent me for everything I did, or said, or thought. I was unhappy for most of the relationship, but was convinced no one else would ever love me.
If this wasn’t enough, I was simultaneously being abused and manipulated by my boss. She had successfully convinced me I was worthless, and without any value what so ever. That I always needed to be “taken down a peg” because i was so full of myself. Daily she would plant a seed of doubt, and watch it grow into fruition. As my home support was not helpful, It was not easy for me to see what was going on from either front. She would play me against coworkers so I wouldn’t have an opportunity to see that she was puppeteer all of us. She would set me up with a false sense of security, by being seemingly nurturing, convincing me to open up to her when we would be stuck in a room alone for hours. Then use it against me, telling me I deserve nothing, and she has been so generous, and understanding, how could I have the audacity to question or disrespect her.
When I became pregnant, the beratement, and doubt, and hate and resentment got much worse from both of them. They saw me gaining more confidence, and they were losing control. My pregnancy brain gave me more clarity as it wasn’t about me or them anymore. It was about my baby. I started seeing the relationship was toxic, and that my boss was a fucking horrible person. I started seeing what I wanted for myself and my baby, instead of what everyone else wanted of me.
I had already made the decision to try and work from home after the baby was born, and I was going to try and make things work with my boyfriend, as he had convinced me the problem was my boss, and taking her out of the picture would fix everything.
Then, my baby died, a week after her due date. So I was completely fucked up, I felt like JFK when Jackie tried to put his brains back in. I lost what little support I did have in my life. And the two of them saw it as an opportunity to gain control of me again. For a little while it worked, until I started seeing a Councillor for the loss. My boyfriend continued to insinuate that it was somehow my negligence that killed our baby, and my boss bullied me back to work after 6 weeks.
The abuse and manipulation and beratement became overwhelming, and I started a blog, which my boss read and dissected and would use as reference when trying to berate or manipulate me some more. My boyfriend would just constantly be bitter toward me, and resentful for any reason he could think of. Always telling me I was pathetic and no body wants to hear about my problems and I need to get over it etc.
Then I quit, started a new job, left my boyfriend, and started a new life with the only man who has ever been considerate and kind to me for purposes of love, and not an agenda. First guy to not try and change me for what he wants from me.
So basically I had a constant stream of abuse and manipulation form every person I trusted until now. Each person I opened up to, used the info for their own gain, and never once used it to consider my personality or feelings. So its really difficult to open up to or trust anyone. I didn’t stop drinking heavily until I got pregnant, I didn't stop drinking all together until my mother passed away, and its still a struggle to not get trashed, but my stomach issues help me stop thankfully.
Alcohol made life bearable, and fun. I was able to enjoy myself and let go of things. Unfortunately it didn't make the thoughts and feelings and memories go away. It repressed them, and when my mother was no longer in my life, all the memories and feelings began flooding back in. So minimum 14 years of me shutting out emotions and memories. This is what caused my "mental breakdown" among some other circumstances.
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Eccentric, part 2 : now I’m here
I was planning to be done with this by now - both with this article and with the illness. I can’t believe that it’s been almost 15 years and I still get people congratulating me for acknowledging that I have an issue and going it’s-the-first-step-to-recovery, which they’ve learned was an appropriate thing to say since you don’t want to stand there and be embarrassed like I do with my boyfriend’s mom when she starts crying (which she does a lot). I’ve stirred things and realized things and I intended this to sound like a sort of retrospective from a place of unadulterated success. But guess what!
I ended the last bit on my return from anorexia and lasting relationship with a psychologist I described as abusive, although that may be excessive and may come from the resentment of a long therapy seemingly not having “worked”. I started seeing them around age 12, before the eating disorder really declared, and i was referred to them at the end of an endless session of musical chairs through which I met many, many ‘emergency’ professionals whose schedules couldn’t accommodate another patient. I had to tell the whole story every time as if I were filing a police complaint or justifying an ailment that had long thinned beyond recognition, losing more of its meaning every time; I worried often, and I still do, about making myself sound ill enough to be considered, knowing I was taking their time when they could be curing people with actual issues.
Having been sent to therapy after the school phobia I developed as a 5 or 6-year-old, and then again as a 12-year-old, and on and off ever since, means I’ve barely lived without framing my every breath as something to be treated and fixed, analyzed and made normal, insufficient, dependant, bending the wrong way. I entered this longest bout of therapy as a child and left it a decade later as a child. I believe for the first few years the psychologist was reliable if a little too set in her ways: there was no talk of medication outside of an apparent agreement to exclude it, which comforted my irrational fear of treatment with just as little medical basis as I previously had. However, her patient-based approach helped me feel like this time around it wouldn’t be an issue if I wasn’t “really” anything, or that’s how I viewed it at first. I don’t mean to dismiss the entirety of what happened there, only, you know, the bits where a refusal to diagnose me lead to a refusal to treat me, which in turn lead to desperation to fit me into the superstitious ramblings of an unstable person who refused to treat herself. Fuck that person. Call it what it is.
I resented the amount of information she gave me about herself, the description of her previous marriage leading up to ten years of unhappiness she couldn’t get out of, the description of her current partner’s superior attitude, the way her life was a mess and the way I viewed her as honest instead of genuinely intrusive. She’d offer to pay me to iron her clothes, she’d talk to my teenage self about her finances, about her gynecological health, and I listened, and my mother became concerned. By then she had framed my parents as unable to understand me the way she would, she whose child had run away from home and I had to know all about it, apparently. I defended her.
After the anorexia bit I grew alright for a while. I went to high school, I had a boyfriend, I neglected my own friends in order to make him my first priority at all costs, in short I was playing my role very well. My writing got noticed, as it should be, and I was exempted from english class, as I should be. I was bad at maths, I was good at history, I enjoyed latin class, I had friends I looked cool to because of the whole having had sex thing. Over one year my boyfriend and I had split up and I saw a few boys from my grade, most notably a wreck of a teen who regularly said he could be doing this with any of my friends and prided himself for using me “as an experiment”. When I broke up with him to go have the world’s least satisfactory sex with a friend of his, he called me crying hundreds of times. He had read somewhere that cool people had open relationships so he wanted one: when I took him up on that he said I disgusted him, turned around cause he “couldn’t look at me”, and masturbated in my bed. It was terrific. I was a sheep in shame’s clothing.
There were the “can we do this without a condom”s and the “I want to see you shove that shower up your vagina to clean out the danger and I’m watching you”s and the “I can’t believe you cheated on me”s (he was kind!) and the “I’m storming out of your birthday party because you and your friends are little bitches”s. I don’t like how this is taking the same turn my life took - revolving around boys and men the second it got the chance, which is something I still haven’t worked out today as I live under the constant scrutiny of my several imaginary sugar daddy-leaning role models, but I’m keeping that topic for next time. This is, of course, she says in a white girl voice, about me.
During the last year of high school, the boyfriend and I broke up for good because I had fallen in love with a guy we had met at a music festival and had pursued email after email. I felt glorious cracking the shells of emotionally unstable dudes and making them rely on me for subcontracting introspection: now I take “you’re the closest friend I’ve ever had” as a red flag, poisonous edible paper that dissolves in my water tank and kills me. It seems I do know better now, and it seems no woman ever told me that, and I keep being scared of them, and I keep being gay too, that’s my life’s familiar ghost. I’ve never gone far enough to confront the very real fact of loving women: I saw it as a kid when female nudity made me react, when I didn’t feel any sense of belonging with either boys or girls, when I felt like a monster. That desire is different because I don’t let it exist. Funny i’m only mentioning it now. What’s it like to be out to yourself?
Do you relate to princesses? To female leads? Sometimes I can’t allow myself to replace fictional characters cause how realistic would it be to have the man of the story want to fuck me when my buttcrack isn’t even shaved? Obviously that would never work. Obviously cinderella’s ass is smooth. I never feel polished enough, or good enough an actor, or intelligible enough: expanding like a red giant, I feel like a stomach with needs, and the picture is grotesque - nothing like those Degas ballerinas. Dripping, eating itself, round but not motherly, the hunchback from Ken Russell’s the Devils is too feminine next to me. Suppose i’m fattening from storing all that shame.
***
These days I resent the other diseased. Everyone hates my uncle cause he’s got it too and he drinks and he takes medication that people view with contempt; he lets himself die but it never seems to work even though he acts like it. Somehow something is still barely holding his limbs attached, miraculously, precariously. And my friend’s mother too, brain locked in a hamster wheel, hanging on to people like smeagol consumed, no longer in touch: filtering words like a beekeeper, only letting the crazy in. She makes me afraid to give birth. Would my children grow with a devolved being, Lovecraft’s blind cave-dweller, who once was human and is now condemned to live? Avoiding it in hallways, fearing it under their bed?
By the fourth year of the relationship with festival boy my anxiety had become the decisive factor in every single move I made. I could no longer travel, be spontaneous, laugh, orgasm or breathe. The lump in my throat had grown bigger than I was and my face felt numb, I evaporated, I had emergency doctors drive a camera through my nose only for them to confirm I was choking myself this whole time. It really felt strange: like you’d have tried to swallow turkish delight but it piled up in your throat, invisible. The doctor wrote: patient known for anxiety. I thought: great, now when I die for real they’re gonna think i’m crying wolf and also they’re gonna be right. Fortunately enough, I then was relieved from the constant imminence of choking, you’d never guess how.
I called a therapist my mom had taken me to when i was about 12 and we both liked her a lot - serious and a little intimidating in just the right way, a little soft yet clearly not one to let me bullshit my way out (my mom liked those). I was in the uni hall with some friends when her assistant called me back and scheduled an appointment for me later this same week: it was a huge deal. She remembered me. I suddenly felt safe, suddenly felt myself slip from my own consciousness like the narrator in Janice Galloway’s depression book when she enters a clinic: she’s no longer her own problem, or so she thinks at first, before realizing care never comes in the shape we expected.
I started treatment almost immediately and was in shock at the realization that I did not need to suffer any more. I wasn’t aware, I didn’t KNOW of the existence of medication that would prevent me from spending hours and hours in inescapable pain, contorting my body between screams and frantic sobs, persuaded I was about to die a solitary death that’d leave me to witness my loved ones moving on in relief. Everything around me felt temporary and fleeting and treacherous. And most of all, each of these occasions were a trial for my failure to live, and I sat accused as my chrysalis life developed before me, never free, never daring, hidden, waiting. Every time, I realized how much I was missing out on. Every time I was too tired to seize the day after recovering and just dozed, scrutinized always, for a respite I knew would be short. My idea of living was a xanax in front of any distracting tv show: suddenly sleep was warm, and I wasn’t dying, and things lifted by the tornado gently fell back into place, and disappeared.
(river) Oh, I got plenty of help. Therapists and medications and EMDR and - hypnosis and transcendental meditation. Nothing made me feel better (...) I feel everything. There just wasn’t enough positive emotion to balance me out. (payton: so it wasn’t because of me?) (river) no. you were my only relief. (“the politician” (2019) ep.6)
My trust in festival boy was broken: I felt that if I was ever overcome with the looming fear and froze, he wouldn’t help. I have no idea if it was true: I’m very prone to blaming others for my feeling abandoned, often with no relation to their behaviour. I never could learn his language (i’m sure I can now) and the required travelling to see him became too much, even though we had met through travelling and didn’t feel at home anywhere. This continent of my life was infected and we steeped in sepsis for months and months, resentful, picturing other people when we touched, searching for admiration elsewhere. It’s the worst thing you can do to a bond, demand things from it when it’s dead, as if it was gonna answer. You know it’s been dead for months but when you try and bury it, you can swear you saw it squirm, and then it’s gone, and you took out the doubt.
In this case I didn’t, Martin did. Martin was an old friend I knew through my first partner, and he came back into my life with an exact timing, like he was taking up an offer I was about to throw at someone else. It was all i wanted, car rides at night, feeling desired, watching him on stage, not being shamed. Comfort and help and reassurance, feeling small next to him, and knowing for certain that he understood: everything he says I take seriously, because there’s no way he doesn’t know, I could never lie, and I don’t want to. Well - I omit a little bit since that’s what it takes for me to grow guilt-free: I’m a fangirl and have never felt the need to stop, I let the obsession continent drift and crash, and perhaps it will become submerged and perhaps it won’t. Point is, I can defend it now, all the pieces I feel,I’m no one’s moodboard.
I took a step back and realized I had no way of relying on the trope of a positive ending to this, since there isn’t one. I see no perspective for myself, and I recently understood why antidepressants were considered a risk factor for suicides. It did make me indifferent to things that used to be matters of life and death: school grades, my weight… I care, and I don’t. I gained over 10 kg that sports don’t affect at all: I run all the time, cycle all the time, and it piles up forever, and I don’t recognize myself. I don’t fit in myself anymore. I don’t want to celebrate this thing i haven’t chosen and that I can’t deal with, and when I start thinking about it I end up in a frenzy. I just pretend it’s not there, but I feel so heavy carrying all that me.
It’s a good time to be lost, if you’re okay with it. I’m not. I’m not free enough to be lost: I’m merely pulling on my leash and choking myself, looking at the shop displays, window shopping for life, shiny presents in a snowy christmas street, the others singing while I watch. I watch, I drift off, they see me lose focus, we’re too tired to get me back. There’s so much to experience and when I look back, so much I’m glad I’ve done before realizing I was doing it, because clearly it would be too late by now. I’m not a recluse by choice: I’m one of the weak ones, the eternal witness, or a loser, depending on how you see it. I like both. I think taking myself as seriously as i do now is both a symptom and a cause of why I’m such a bore: what’s so bad about looking stupid? I do it all the time while trying to not look anything at all. It’s not that deep, if I do say so myself, and as you’d expect, I never do. Ah the clever girl’s burden, say the adults, and together we mock the monster we’ve created and the monster takes it personally.
So see, that’s where I’m at: no longer can I lazily bask in the excuse of a shitty partner, this time it’s on me, it’s on being sick, it’s on being sick without an excuse. My parents support me. My partner supports me. My friends would support me if i let them anywhere near me. But I take the crazy and I give it an incubator, I show it films with role models of crazy so it can grow and grow and finally make me special, isn’t this what I do? Look at joaquin phoenix and lose weight, I tell it; you’re not very good at the crazy, looking so plump and healthy. At least show your scars: they’re fading, it’s been over a decade, so now what, we’re just gonna look like someone who should get a makeover without the moving story of why they’re neglecting their appearance? What’s funny is, I’m actually a very ambitious person, mediocre is my rock bottom - listen to me when I tell you. There’s no such thing as effortless when effortless is a mountain.
(payton: i’m scared.) (river) don’t be. There’s more honor in defeat than there is in unused potential. (“the politician” (2019), ep.8)
My therapist recently told me that if I was catholic I’d be in trouble. Duh, right? Jokes aside, she went: then people would see you as a waste because you do nothing with your force. You wouldn’t be allowed to just have that and not live it. I pondered: don’t you think I know that? Is more guilt really the solution?
I know i want things. I know I love things, and people, and sounds, and places, and smells, and being alive. But do you see the difference between ‘knowing’ you shouldn’t be doing something, and understanding it in your very flesh, by experience, growing from it with the intimate conviction that it’s something you must stay away from? I know those things, and I don’t feel them really. I’m a fast learner, I’m a semi competent person, I can almost seem okay in a group. But I have shackles for lungs and I have concrete for breath. It’s got brutalist charm and warmth almost doesn’t spread.
So that’s where I am with the dreams I have and the love I feel and the way it won’t come out. I suppose I’m awake but I’m not quite there. Martin feels it first: the pain on his face when I disconnect is breaking my heart. He’s just trying to bring me back. I’m loved. I’m locked away. And once my arms break I’ll dig my way out with my teeth if I need to.
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Happily Ever After? - Hyunjin
Paring: Hyunjin x Reader
Genre: Angst(?)
Word Count: 2.3k
A/N: Requested by @litaeriture ! i’m not sure i’m happy with how it turned out but i wrote the second part like three times so I do truly hope you like it, please let me know what you guys think!
You still believed in fairytales. The ones where the prince would fall in love with the princess no matter what the circumstances were. Something like Cinderella; the prince fell in love with her whilst she was wearing her beautiful ball gown but when he found out who she truly was and what her life was like, all that mattered was that the shoe fit. Or, maybe something like Ariel. The girl couldn’t talk and definitely didn’t fit in with the rest of the people on land but the prince took her in and fell in love with her anyway.
That was the kind of story you wanted. A sort of unconditional love only found in fairytales. A love that could push past all barriers and wasn’t concerned with trivialities.
You knew it was practically impossible, a sort of love where nothing mattered, but that didn’t stop you from believing there was a chance it could happen. A sliver of hope that you could find someone that would defy the odds.
Maybe, even a certain boy that could fulfill the idea of love that you had in your head. A certain boy that you call your first love.
He was the most beautiful person you had the pleasure of knowing. Not to say you knew him, really. More that he was in your class and you’d been in the same class as him since third grade. It seemed like fate, being put together for six years in a row.
Where you would call it fate, others would call it misfortune. This certain boy was no prince. Hell, he couldn’t even be considered a knight in shining armor or whatever would be below that. He was a bully. It may be a childish word, but it was a childish game. Him and his friends weren’t nice. They weren’t even nice to each other. Somehow putting someone down for something they couldn’t change was funny to them. Making fun of someone for the way they had a few more blemishes than others or the way their teeth weren’t perfectly straight.
In Hyunjin’s case, he called it doing them a favor. As if telling someone about their imperfections would help them change it. Although it was possible to blame it on age, it wasn’t a good excuse. Only fourteen years old. A confusing age. Everyone’s too busy just trying to figure out who they are and what they want to be.
That didn’t stop you from trying.
You tried to get his attention when you could. Handing back papers for the teacher and letting your hands brush when you give him his. Or going through the trouble of doing a second sheet of homework and turning it in with his name on it because you didn’t want him to fail. All your actions went unnoticed. Which is for the better, knowing how much you’d be teased by him if he were to ever find out.
All of these unseen actions and uncared for thoughts led to the day where you no longer believed in such silly fairy tales. It was probably better that you found out how cruel the world can be but it didn’t mean it should’ve happened the way it did.
Hyunjin had bullied everyone in the school, including you. Unlike others, you always brushed it off like it wasn’t a big deal. You were always told by your parents that a boy teasing you meant he liked you. A simple, yet troublesome way to excuse a boys behavior and yet you chose to believe it. How else were you going to get your fairytale ending unless you let simple trivialities not matter to you?
Usually, Hyunjin would make fun of the dress you wore that day or the new makeup you were finally allowed to wear to school. But that fateful day, he just made fun of everything. Your hair, your clothes, your face. Everything that you might have been confident in completely washed down the drain and discarded like they never mattered. These comments went on for weeks as if he was now only targeting you. You didn’t understand what you did wrong. There could’ve been a million different reasons but you never found the right one. So instead, you blamed it on yourself, like any rational preteen would.
Looking back on it, you regret not saying something. Not becoming the bully yourself but just a simple way of telling him that what he was saying hurt your feelings. It most likely wouldn't have helped but it wouldn’t have hurt to try.
You endured his venomous words for three months. It seems like a short amount of time in the long run but in the moment, it felt like forever. You requested to be put in a different class, one Hyunjin wasn’t in and far away from where he could find you.
First loves are supposed to be the person you look back on and smile about. The love that was innocent and pure, a blooming of feelings you’d never felt before. Yet the only memories you had of your first love were rude words and tear-filled days.
The world has to tear you down a bit to make you stronger. Not to say what Hyunjin did was okay, but to say that you’re not going to let silly fairy tales dictate how you should love someone. It’s all apart of growing up and you’re ready to move on from trying to live in a fantasy world.
Junior year prom.
Just thinking about it made you nauseous.
You wanted to go because high school events may seem cheesy and they were something you’d never be able to enjoy again. It was the fact that you didn’t have a date yet you weren’t exactly looking for one. All the boys in your class were assholes or already dating someone so you were fresh out of choices.
Thankfully, your friend wasn’t going with anyone either so you two decided to go together. Maybe next year could be the year that a decent guy would ask you instead of all the douchey ones in your class. A few of them tried and you kindly refused. You knew the only reason they even decided to talk to you was that you’ve grown up since middle school.
You had a “glow-up” of sorts. Your body had become, what you could say, more mature looking and you began to wear clothes that suited your new figure. Your hair had become softer and you picked up a thing or two on how to properly use makeup. Your skin had cleared as much that was possible for a high schooler and you were in a good place in your life.
It was the summer after sophomore year that you finally began to feel good about yourself. Even your best friend would agree, saying you’ve begun to glow. Her words embarrassed you but you were thankful you had someone like her by your side.
The two of you went shopping for prom dresses a week before the over-hyped high school event. Your friend picked out a simple, baby blue, laced a-line dress that you knew would make all the boys swoon. You went for more of a bold dress. A two-piece, laced, wine red dress that snuggly hugged your figure. They were a bit pricey, as prom dresses were, but worth every penny.
The night of prom had finally arrived and the two of you showed up an hour after it had started. You like to call it fashionably late but your friend would argue otherwise, complaining that it took you too long to do your hair when you had the entire day to prepare.
All of this is what led you to where you were now.
Sitting alone near the back of the crowded gym. You held a drink in your hand that your friend had given you before she was pulled away by some boys. The music was blaring and the lights were a bit blinding as they flashed colors in all different directions. The middle of the gym was filled with sweaty kids who considered to be jumping up and down dancing. You were just waiting for someone to slip and fall.
Sitting alone wasn’t as bad as it sounded. Being away from all the chaos and people yelling was something more enjoyable for you. You just felt bad for whoever was going to clean all of this up because you’ve watched at least four kids spill their drinks on the floor.
Before you knew it, the kids that filled the gym settled down as a slow song came on. Everyone was rushing to find someone to dance with so they wouldn’t be the odd man out. You felt bad for them really, feeling like without someone by their side they would be seen as an outcast. Girls were asking their friends and there were always the few boys that danced together to get a good laugh out of everyone. You were fine where you were. Not feeling the need to get up and find someone to awkwardly sway side to side with. That was until someone held their hand out to you, asking if you wanted to dance. You stared at the boy in front of you, blinking to make sure you weren’t just seeing things. Letting your heart get the best of you, you took his hand and let him bring you away from your table and dance on the outskirts of the crowd.
“You look amazing,” he coyly said, putting his hands on your waist. You didn’t know how to respond as your mind was going blank. Was the boy in front of you the one you knew from all those years ago? The one that would bully others for his own enjoyment?
He’s grown up just as well as you did. His shoulders were broader and his jaw had become more defined. His once short hair was now longer and dyed a light brown which you thought suited him well. He was gotten taller and you could definitely tell all the sports he did were doing him well. The boy’s hands were wrapped a bit tightly around your sides as you barely placed your hands on his shoulders.
This didn’t feel right, nothing about it did.
This was something you dreamed of for years. A scenario that would only happen in a fairytale where the prince accepts the girl for who she is but it’s all backwards.
He moved his face closer until his lips were ghosting over your ear.
“Maybe after this, we can get out of here? Go get something to eat? Go have some more fun than being at this lame thing?” he whispered. That was when you finally decided to look him in the eye. Truth be told, you hesitated for a moment. His words made you question all the things he did, considering maybe he’s changed. Your first love was here and asking you to leave with him.
You wanted to say yes. You wanted to look away from the past and all the triviality of love. It was going to hurt but you knew you would thank yourself in the long run.
“You’re kidding right?” you asked as you pulled away from him. “Do you remember the shit you said to me? Hell, do you even remember who I am? I moved classes to be away from you. I’m sorry to ruin your night, but this isn’t some sappy love story where I just forgive you.” You began to back away from him. His eyes were wide and looking at you as if you’d just done something completely terrible even though all you did was tell him the truth. You could feel the eyes of some people on you but you didn’t care. “I was in love with you, you know? In love with Hwang Hyunjin, the kid who everyone hated,” you mocked, jokingly waving your hands by your sides, “and I never knew what I did that was so bad that you had to bully me for months. And now, here you are, trying to pick me up like I’m any girl here that wants to be with you.”
Hyunjin reached out his hand and tried to apologize. Blame it on the fact that he was a kid and that’s what kid do. Make some excuse so his reputation wouldn’t be washed away since it took him so long to build it up and away from the things he used to do. You weren’t having it though. Kids or not, people don’t change that easily.
Without another word, you walked away and out of the gym, the kids who overheard making a path for you. You found your way home and didn’t even care to change, throwing yourself onto your bed and letting a few tears out. It wasn’t your proudest moment but you couldn’t help it.
You’ve learned that life isn’t about fairytale endings. It’s not about the princes, or princesses, that will be there to tell you they’ll love you no matter what. It’s not about finding someone that will love you unconditionally as long as you accept all that they’ve done. It’s about finding someone who will love you from the start. Sometimes, as much as it hurts, it not worth the pain that it’ll cause you.
So yes, every story has to do with love. But maybe, in this one, you’ll tell the world you loved him too much. You loved him with everything you had but it wasn’t enough to amount yourself to something below your worth.
You stopped looking for your fairytale ending long ago and one stupid boy wasn’t going to change that.
#stray kids#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#stray kids reactions#stray kids drabbles#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#stray kids hyunjin#kpop#kpop scenarios#kpop reactions#kpop drabbles#kpop imagines#stray kids au#stray kids angst#stray kids kpop#chan#bang chan#woojin#kim woojin#minho#lee minho#changbin#seo changbin#jisung#han jisung#felix#lee felix#seungmin#kim Seungmin
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"False heart beats"
Hymns _pen
____________________ ********** ______
Back-lit screen ..wanaml moving lightly on the phone keypad ... smile made its way to the oval face Lothario ..ltketb characters love and adoration
_ I love you !
Merely four letters to be the next corners of her life ... enter the hooligan ... it was consistent Buthaiabh heritage, making its appeal and that increase shawl over his head in an attractive way salary increased so .. light shone .. knock on the door fingertips to attract attention ... Fatah Vaha speaks quietly
_ I am hungry
Closed her Bagtdhab ... her eyes Nazerth Yemeni .. and uttered such as coffee alarm
_ Arak, I returned from my uncle s sons council ... I will be patient Ptdvith
D to it and pronounce his waist Bjunbah order
_ Ardjaaha place
Air Zfr angrily and took them silent and behind her silence a thousand words reproach to her mother that made the house girls served his children without a word whimper ... Maybe this was the case most of the families of the old city "Sanaa"
# Areej
Standing in front of the cook Anazer phone waiting eagerly reply to my last letter ...
_ Apologized dear delayed response ... I love you too!
He closed the phone and tightened to my chest and I felt Bdqath growing little by little ... nervously approached the gas switched off and threatening to pronounce flagrant
_ Not you know this gas crisis days? I need to tell my mother to break the phone one who stole your mind and your thoughts ...
He went after awhile
_ What are you doing it from Trusselan?
Pangs stopped Bhgay without paying attention .. I m trying to make my voice naturally busy making his tea
_ Who do you think my friends from high school!
_ Hehehehe only wish I know what is this modern Taathdtnh day by telephone or correspondence
I saw his voice unit eventually ... I took my phone and went speeding and uttered a blatant
_ Not like you
23/08/2012
I took my books Malam you have installed the black veil on my face I wore my bag and went to the room and opened weighs Tgra Pronounce telltale
_ Weighs no need to pick me up today my girlfriend Joanna will Baissala her car
_ Ooh Well .. not Taatochri
That rubbed his eyes and his voice like a child Drifter coarse morning
I went out and Astkulait bus to go to my kidney ... I opened my phone and you send a message to confirm the appointment
_ Do not forget at 11 in front of my kidneys
_ Did I forget my love?! Do not be afraid I ll be there definitely ahead of longing to see I feel very much a mental captive
My heart
11:14
Muscles in the eyes of prominent ... Cap green ... white silk ... highly remarkable Muluj color yellow sun and the color of the mountains ... Sanaa built Amishqrh ... black qualities Balabaah approached it ..hmlguet ... Econ is it?! I asked my voice soft feminine
_ UN You Hossam?
_ So must you to be Areej
I pulled the chair in front of me and sat on it .. We stayed minutes and silence makes us stomata ... Ptlosm unique Iraqi dialect ..sahr has fascinated me .. Blbagth ... Asloppe..samth ... everything ... the closest pronunciation to be an angel house heaven ... Nazert time delay time ... should not to be Cinderella now seriously ... I do not want. !
_Well .... meet Hossam to meet my brother Siqlq
Btawaiha with his hand and let me ... that we have identified on Wednesday of every week on our game so the cafe told me once ...
_ Do you know How beautiful?
_ Akhalna beautiful with all my details
He replied mischievously protester grief
_ And he denied he is blind, but he loved what you are those eyes colored Yemeni coffee
_ We learn Nkhtlt Turks since the Ottoman rule, so find the people of the city "Ibb" and some of the villages of "Sana a"
Turkish are characterized by the features of each I wish I have the then I ll be more beautiful but to tell you that his eyeballs coffee like ... I love it also became
Do not forget the days of my eyes every time we meet the beating of my heart Ktabol degree became afraid that Expose his sweet Asrna became like Wednesday and the dates I record my mind every word tells her to become a balance of happiness for me .. I loved it and loved him with all my heart beats
12/2/2014
#Weigh
The voice of a strong impact comes from the kitchen ... rushed speeding to find my mother dumped him down sweat profusely ... which slowed down my heart beats ...
_ Areej Ariège O Araj
Shook my cry home Vtvajot by Hisham initiates her pregnancy to the car then got a blow on my head and it roars loophole
_ Areej in college helped me, stupid
Behind the door of operations stood ... Bad concern on the face of each one of us ... I remembered Areej so I did make a connection ... it was her mood and her voice calm an improved ... I felt angry safer behind the door do not know Astaud or enter a refrigerator Alomuat..srecht strongly by telling them what happened and Monba them ... Hehgh issued them .. shut down the phone at her farewell speech without you and went to holistically haste was not too long ago .. I seem to go up the tower jinx today ... my sister sitting with a young cafe ????
# Areej
My finished ... my heart beat stopped for a moment ... bloodshot and his cheeks anger ... pulled out of the house of clouds ... my heart muscles constrict and flattens Hussam received ... crudely strikes many of the intervention weighs even people to resolve them ..binma Dmati were frantic quickly unconsciously, which has been or is being, or will be!
Between the corners of the room locked .. I do not know about my mother, or a sense of Hussam news .... all you have done is to bring out Hhqati
Transcendent ... Atrani promised a child or a baby crawling ... asking candy prevented them ??
_ Areej ... that my mother was fine Ahidia ..
I do not know basically no tears pouring ... quickly reared her body towards her slim Artmit ... about an hour and we are on that case .. I sat next to me .. and in particular horny stared, wiping my cheek .. I opened my sister Nour Vahaa pronounce
_ Pass moments of our lives are wrong .. built Adam mis enough unfasten a new page you girl adult Tdrkin ill Fltk and know our society ....
_ Spread ..br?
Looked down her head and pronounced Dully
_ You know, were not far from the university has gone through the incident a week ... my mother went out to safety and do not want to see you ..ozlk young
_ What you do?
Rapid Pink, which made it Tnazerna foolishly
_ You silly right Areej ... that your heart beats false ... all I have forced him to marry your order muzzles little people ... you know Nada and me now Gailltan because they look at their husbands Almshakrh ... we are in fact a problem Areej and you ll be aware of that is why your behavior mindless!
#After 2 manth
Yemeni traditional hype ... and the bride like a moon on the throne of heaven, 14 night ... not for the black under her eyes and withered outlook ..oottaghm the face of the groom, which was not worthy of him the night of joy
#Hymns_pen
Voice screams Akecart building inhabitants .. goggle jerseys which bemuse only a small curvature in it ... was severely beaten and devoid of any mercy ... Aiakl that his passion got a drug to reverse the effect of hatred filled his stomach ... were not a night or two nights each 6 months suffering from beating him and showered strange m wishes to divorce him one day ... How wonderful that the adoration and love sod wondrous!
#Arig
I took clear on my stomach ... and smile imposed on the teachings fatigued me .. Nazerth with joy and enthusiasm Tgra pronunciation
_ New Baby is coming to us after 6 months
Were not described the joy of letters or words or Soran Arouk first born to me from him .. Despite the lack of response and Tjahlhll subject, but I did not expect that and despite his knowledge of the next born whole thing
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Kalshah drove to the airport ... and I can say that he has been expelled me to Iraq specifically .. "Baghdad" as a servant when his family ... is returned to Yemen without a word to say .. and my family Nbaroo me all my life has become hell because of him and I still love him nights fools. .. and that the poor, who Bohachaia I am almost certain that he will not regaining my parents warm embrace ..ao fresh word from the father of delight .. Khater was my feelings of remorse and happiness one capable of so that the gut ... but I did not feel hate or perhaps you still see only a little less on that feeling
#wgdan
Under the quilt ... and the darkness of the room ..ochach lit in front of me ... tears from my eyes apply a burning sensation on the scene of the hero dies in front of his beloved ... ooh did not dwell I am still the best dramas
Sad love with the failed .. Balbjamh loose cartoon drawings came down the stairs toward the kitchen to take a cup of cold water in this heat burning ... came across my aunt ..aktefit faint smile Badltinay them ... What we have received them, and my grandmother hemlock what taste and its impact is still in my throat and other Jsudai..tjahilt memories foolish. I returned to the dark room ... I am following Dramati
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_ Wijdan where your father? Allen comes to the Council of Parents ??
_ That my father passengers to buy me gifts
Haha nights small lie ... that I was a girl blatantly lie is naive .. I m trying to convince my friends I did not believe her illusions .. What is the guilt of the child Hnt characters "Baba" as does the rest of the kids,!
_ My mother asked me where my friends and my parents tell me where he is ??
_ Dear traveler is in my country that we visited last year that is true Tzkrenha
Played with dust and uttered innocently
_ When he would not do if we meet? But my mother loves me?
I did not find them in response was a response time is the silence that made me ask again and I still can not find an answer ... heal Galili I remember once I saw him in my grandmother s mother Motk ... but my mother refused to news Lacan is whether or not ..ha do not deny that even did not cast a glance at the corner that we were out Yalschrih!
_ My mother what the meaning of my name?
Assigned her head with my head
YOU YOU sentimental .. My feelings are all in my child conscience .. Mama s feelings are scattered and gather Stadtha only my child conscience
Basma honest adorned on her face disappeared behind the slim ..gamalha premature wrinkles of her face and her eyes Almabeltan hah I can still remember the details ... inside and out her trouble ... Kmalh in the school as a cleaner ensure the comfort of the people of the house and despicable dealings with them ..
I opened the folded paper between the heritage of her clothes, which was your favorite ... prepared .. all I did folded is Dmotain even Nzlta down Zgueni..ontqa sarcastically
_ Qstkma was more drama sad my mother ... I am the victim ...
In front of her tomb stood ..obed flowers placed .. the usual began my speech to the spirit in the sky
_ Lamy graduation ceremony was wonderful but it was lacking in you .. I will finish Amabna and rode my life after Osora a respectable job ... I love my mother ..ohuzeinh to me sudden Vrack ..mte forcibly before the stroke of those damned Tamota ..haha goodbye to my mother, I will call you ..
Rustle behind me ... weak voice manly pronunciation
_ What she said before her death?
Without paying attention ... for fear of the noise of my feelings that Stddvq that Nazerth ... said now that he has Kainan Hayan here after he got married and lived his life comfortable with another family ... ironically has shaken my voice I replied
_ My heart beats ..kazbh!
~ Has ~
Like the rest of the story and the fact Ouseltni from a reliable source in fact the core of the story and the fact that the other drama of suspense
Jambiya: Yemeni heritage uniforms for men placed on a large waist with a sharp knife extracted from rhinoceros horn
The Ibb that green eyes are comparing Hussam .fahi Yemeni city known Balkhaddra because of the green Xaiha which capped throughout the year, almost
Lake + comments do you think of my dear ones to know and criticisms .. I liked the idea of the story Fjsdtha reality is happening and kills many
#stories#science#toy story#american horror story#ts4 story#storyscape#original story#excerpt from a story i'll never write#sims 4 story#book quotes#book review#booklr#bookish#bookworm#books#comic books#kindle books#bookblogger#bookstagram#book photography#movies#us movie#moviegifs#movie poster#cats movie#movie quotes#it movie
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#OnceUponaTime S7 EP 8 & 9 "Pretty in Blue" & "One Little Tear" Recap & Review
"Pretty in Blue"
The episode starts in Another Realm, Hook wakes up the Jolly Rodger crew and tell them that he wants the Jolly Rogers in tip-top shape. (funny, I just got the Hook’s Hyperion name reference, Roger, did you all catch it from the start?). Hook tell is men to be ready for when the Evil Queen cast her course, and he plans to use to opportunity to get revenge on the dark one. Hook plan immediately came to a halt when the Evil Queen tells him that she lost her magic thanks to Snow White and Prince Charming. The Evil Queen is seeking passage and offers to Hook a map to a magical land where he can find magic to that can defeat an immortal. Hook knows magic always comes with a price and ask the Evil Queen what it was, and she told him that the tower is guarded by an evil witch and without her magic Hook was on his own.
Back in Hyperion Height, Hook is at the crime scene of the man with the tattoo on his hands. Rumple is mad that Hook is working without him and send him home because he will be taking over the case. Hook accuse Rumple of working with Victoria and threatens to find Eloise Gardner one way or another.
Henry and Cinderella are at Roni’s bar, and they immediately notice that Regina was down, but Regina jokes it off. Henry tells Regina that he and Cinderella were celebrating getting the electrical system on the truck to start working. Cinderella is concern about not working, and Regina offer her a job, Henry asks Cinderella out on a date to see a cover band, and Cinderella happily agreed. Drizella check on Regina to make sure she is preventing Henry and Cinderella from getting closer so that can’t share true loves kiss. Tremaine punishes Lucy for leaving the house without her permission, but Lucy tells her that she doesn’t care because once her parents break the curse, she will be with them and Tremaine with being alone.
Tremaine goes to visit the Witch and brings her tea and notice dirt on the ground and figure out that the Witch has had a visitor. Tremaine tells the Witch that if she found someone stupid enough to free her from her prison, she would find them. Hook is frustrated over feeling so close yet so far from the Eloise case, Henry suggested that she might be dead, but Hook tell him that he was not sure why, but she feels like family, and if she were dead he would have felt it. Hook tell Henry that he needs to see someone and Henry offer to tag along.
Back in Another Realm, Hock and Smee find the tower the Evil Queen told them about, Hook climbs the tower and meet a young Rapunzel. Hook starts to flirt with Rapunzel and tell her that he was expecting a witch and he was there for the magic to help him with his revenge. Rapunzel says to him that she was a trap in the tower by magic and there was a garden that has a place that could release the curse and Hook believe that this plant could also be used to trap the dark. Hook insisted that Rapunzel tell him where the garden was and in return, they could use the plant to help both get what they wanted.
Back in Hyperion Heights, Hook and Henry visit Alice and seek her help because she gave some good advice the last time. Hook shows Alice, Eloise dairy and Alice immediately told Hook that the details in the book don’t ring a bell, but from experience, Eloise looks like a runaway. Hook suggested talking to the kids in the park, but Alice tells him, people like they won’t speak to him, but she did plan on helping. Henry subtle instigate that if she did not help Hook would write her a ticket for selling stolen watches and Alice agree to help and tell them to meet her in the park at 2 hours and Hook should bring a sandwich.
At Belfry towers, Tremaine goes over the video to her Elevator, but the footage was scrambled, she goes out to Drizella’s desk and found a muddy heal “you are a clever girl” she says, Rumple come in as she was looking, and Tremaine tells Rumple that everything was fine. Rumple reports to her that Hook might be close to solving the Eloise Gardner case and Tremaine suggested that Rumple stop Hook before she does it in a permanently.
In Another Realm Hook and Smee is in the garden and as per Rapunzel, they need to sing to find the flowers something about the power of music. Smee starts to sing and awake a gnome, Hook attempts again to sing and sees the flower after picking it the giant garden gnome was destroyed. Smee suggested that they go back the Jolly Rogers, but he tells her that he was going back to save Rapunzel and he was not afraid on one witch because “I am Captain Hook.”
Back in Hyperion Height, Tremaine visits the witch with Drizella shoe in her hand, Tremaine ask the witch when she woke Drizella, but she told Tremaine that Drizella have always been awake, but Tremaine was too blind to see because Anastasia so consumes her. Tremaine asks the witch what Drizella wanted, and she told Tremaine that Drizella wished to see her suffer. Tremaine warns her again working with Drizella and threaten to take everything Drizella cling to starting with the Witch who Tremaine tell that she would never see the light of day.
At Roni’s Regina is looking at the picture of her and Henry, and then sadly start with operation separate Henry and Cinderella. Cinderella tells Regina that she was finally starting to see the light and that had a date with Henry and is think about getting Lucy back from Tremaine. Regina used this opportunity to discourage Cinderella from starting a relationship with Henry telling Cinderella that base on her experience that social services won’t be too keen on a single mother working in a bar and with a new boyfriend. Stressing that Tremaine will paint a bad picture of how she and Henry meet. Henry and Hook are at the park and Hook tell Henry that because of his drinking Eloise went missing. Alice is back, and with not so good news, she tells Hook a story about a runaway who use to date a guy and now she is dead from a car accident and show Hook a picture from Eloise’s book. Hook is not taking the new very well and attempts to drink in the alone, but couldn’t bring himself to drink and upsettingly put the bottle next to him spilling it on the picture which started to run making him know the picture as a fake.
In another Realm Hook goes back to the towel and gives Rapunzel much to her surprise, Hook tried to find out how the petals were going to help, but Rapunzel tells him he doesn’t need to know the detail and seduces him,
Back in Hyperion Height, Henry tells Regina that he and Hook found out today that Eloise was dead, and Hook asked to be left alone. Henry asks Regina about Cinderella’s day, and Regina him that Cinderella was a model citizen. Cinderella turns down Henry date and blows off his offer for a follow up because she canceled. Hook confronts Rumple about using Alice to get him to give up on the Eloise case but tell Rumple that it won’t work because he won’t give up. Rumple tries to convince Hook that everything he was doing is to protect him and that Belfrey order him to, but Hook is not buying it. Rumple continues to attempt and convinces Hook to stop looking, but he is more motivated now that Rumple tried to through him off the trail. Hook goes to Belfrey towers to see Tremaine bit she was not there as per Drizella and Hook ask that Drizella give him the access code for the tracker he sure Drizella place on Tremaine car.
In another Realm, Hook and Rapunzel had a magical night, and I mean a literally magical evening because when Hook woke up after that one night, he was now a father to a bouncing baby girl. Rapunzel reveals herself to be the witch name Gothel who happen to be the same witch Tremaine have tied up. Gothel tries to get Hook to leave with her, but Hook refuses to leave his child alone.
Back in Hyperion Height Hook follow the tracker that Drizella gave him and come up with one of Tremaine abandon buildings. Hooks goes inside and finds Tremaine along with Gothel who he remembers or thinks that his Eloise Gardner.
In another Realm, Hook gives Smee control of the Jolly Rogers and tell him, and an upset Evil Queen that he has something more important than revenge consider and goes back to the tower and name his daughter Alice after the only other woman he ever loved his mother.
In Hyperion Height, Alice apologies to Hook for going along with Rumple and tell Alice that he was disappointed in her which hurt Alice. Tremaine is arrested and learns that she has fallen for one of Drizella trap after Drizella tells her that she plans to suffer. Tremaine tells her Drizella that she was a stupid child because she had no idea what she made crawl out into the world. Henry tells Regina and Cinderella that Eloise is alive and that Tremaine was arrested, which mean that Cinderella could get Lucy back. Cinderella gives Henry a hug and runs over to Belfrey towers to get Lucy but is met by social services who tell Cinderella that Lucy must go with them, I smell Drizella all over this plan even though she insists that she told them that Lucy should go with Cinderella. The Social worker explains that Lucy was given to Tremaine for a reason so that must go over the case until then Lucy goes into the foster system. Lucy is upset about leaving her mother but Cinderella promise Lucy she would get her back.
"One Little Tear"
One little tear starts with Henry and Cinderella practice with their sword, the two have a moment, but Cinderella did not go through with the kiss tell Henry it was complicated. Alice is leaking behind a tree and comes out and ask Henry if she did ask him to leave. Henry introduces Cinderella and Alice from Wonderland, Alice tells them that she needs to find someone, and she thinks they know where he was, as Hook learns from Regina that Alice tower was destroyed Alice came from behind call Hook papa.
Hook is happy to see Alice and father and daughter reunite, but when Alice goes to hug hook we learn that there is a curse that separated them, so they can’t get too close to each other. Alice told her father that her getting out of the tower is a long story, but they have been cured of their curse. However, when they try to embrace, Hook gets hurt, and Alice runs away in fear. Henry and Cinderella run after Alice who went through a portal to wonderland Cinderella and Henry followed.
In Hyperion Height, Cinderella hugs Lucy who doesn't understand why she can’t live with her mother, after leaving Lucy at Foster house Cinderella worries about how she was going to get Lucy back. Tiana suggested that Cinderella get a lawyer and tell her that she has been doing some researcher and reminded her that Lucy fake father when to law school. Cinderella thinks it is too risky, but she is in a desperate situation, meanwhile Henry interview Drizella about her feeling on her mother arrest for kidnapping. Drizella put on quite a show and then tell Henry that she trusted him with her story, and suggested that Henry turn his blog into a podcast and Belfrey would be his sponsor. Regina quickly interrupts and send Henry on a task to get him away from Drizella. Drizella taunts Regina about her trying to keep Cinderella and Henry apart, also revealing to Regina that she and Gothel are working together.
Hook return to the precinct and is applauded by the other officer, Rumple congratulations and tell him that he had no idea what he just opened. Gothel visit bakes a cake for Hook and brings to the precinct to show her appreciation and Hook gives Gothel his card tell her to give him a call if she is having a hard time adjusting to the new world. Back at Roni’s Henry meets Lucy’ father Nick who happen to like the same cover bad that he does talk about awkward. Henry is immediately jealous of Nick who was proud to announce that he is not only a lawyer but Lucy’s dad.
Henry and Cinderella are in wonderland and get caught in a trap; Henry finds the caught in a net funny and explains to Cinderella that the situation reminds him of how his grandparent met. Cinderella reaches for Henry’s sword and cut them down, Henry tells Cinderella another story about Snow and Charming that made a promise always to find each other, but Cinderella thinks Henry is naïve because her world is a world of broken promises.
In Hyperion Heights, Henry brings a copy of his book to Lucy who tells him that they need to find out who this Nick character was because he was not her father. Lucy tells Henry that this was a classic Charming and Catherine situation where the curse used Catherine to try to keep Charming and Cinderella apart. Henry asks Lucy how she knows that Henry and Cinderella got together when his book ends with them meeting and is worried that he was the Catherine, but Lucy tell Henry he was not and encourage Henry to fight for her mother. Lucy tells Henry another way to help Cinderella while Nick is trying to get her out.
In Wonderland, Cinderella and Henry are in a room, and Cinderella finds a little door to the Infinite Maze. Henry picks up that Cinderella was not just there to find Alice and questions Cinderella who explains the reason she doesn’t believe in love. Cinderella tells Henry the story about how her mother Cecilia had run away to Wonderland after abandoning her and her stepfather, and she needs answers. She showed Henry the locket that her mother and stepfather shared and hoe it stop glowing after she left them. Cinderella drinks the poison and shrinks to get through the door and goes in the maze.
In Hyperion Height. Cinderella is getting ready to meet up with Nick and is dressed to impressed but denies any interest in Nick when Tiana question her about it, Tiana tells Cinderella that she was lying to herself. At the precinct as Hook was about to cut into the cake Gothel baked for him Regina comes in asking for Rumple and encourages Hook to give Alice another change and throw the cake in the garbage tell Hook that too much sugar will kill him. Gothel is trying to work her magic but is having a hard time, Drizella comes in and tells her that she needs to focus because they are needed to wake Anastasia. Gothel question Drizella on why she wanted to wake Anastasia, and she tells Gothel that it was that Anastasia had magic in her body and it belonged to her, Gothel said she understood and that Drizella needs to bring her Anastasia’s body.
Cinderella is at the restaurant with Nick, but she is not able to eat since they took Lucy, the two discuss their past, and he thanked for breaking up with him because it made him take a long look at himself. Nick ask Cinderella for the court paper give Tremaine custody of Lucy.
In Wonderland, Cinderella is in the maze and go through a door where she meets Alice again, who happens to know the mother and tell Cinderella that she was dead after fighting valiantly and she was the only one that survives. Cinderella told Alice that her mother did not deserve her tears because she abandons her family to have a tea party. Alice says to her that she was wrong, and Cinderella learned of the curse that was caused on her mother was a curse with a poison heart and been close to the person you love could kill them like her and her father. Cinderella question why Alice would go near her father knowing that it could kill him, and she told her that a soccer name Drizella said to her that she was cured.
Outside the infinity maze, Henry is looking for Cinderella and get frozen by Drizella who tells Henry that she was the one who brought them all there using Alice to go down one of her bunny holes. Drizella tells Henry that wonderful was full of poison and her favorite was the one that could poison Henry’s heart.
Back in Hyperion Height, Henry is working on the enthusiastically working on the food truck, and Tiana comes in and question if Henry’s motives were because of Nick; s return but he denied it. Henry got the truck started, and Tiana is impressed but the moment over when Cinderella walks in with Nick by her side. Henry sadly gives Cinderella the key and left.
In Wonderland, Drizella reveals to Henry that she was going to cast a dark curse and she is going to poison he hear so that he and Cinderella true loves kiss cannot break it. As Drizella was about to stab Henry in the heart with the poison, Cinderella knocks her out, and Alice drops a mirror on her sending her back to Another Realm. Henry and Cinderella hugs and kisses, Cinderella explain that when Henry was in trouble her necklace glowed and now she is willing to take a risk.
Back in Hyperion Height, Cinderella goes after Henry and tells him that she doesn’t have feelings for Nick, but Henry question to why Cinderella was trying to impress Nick. Cinderella explains that they were something that no one else knows that she gave up Lucy voluntarily because Tremaine tell her that if she went to court for Lucy, she would not beat her, so Cinderella gave up her rights. Henry encourages Cinderella to tell Nick about it because he was the lawyer and he would be able to help, and Henry says to Cinderella that maybe it was not the right time for them. Rumple visits Regina at Roni’s, and Regina tries to find out Rumple was awake and seek his help, but Rumple denies everything. Regina tells Rumple that if he was keeping his cover because of the Guardian, it was a bad move, and Belle would not want it, but Rumple did not budge.
In another Realm, Henry and Cinderella return and Hook is asking about Alice, and they tell him that she was sorry and they she was tricked by Drizella into thinking that was cured. Henry tells Regina that Drizella all that, so she can poison Henry’s heart, seeing Henry and Cinderella holding hand Regina tell them that she was glad Drizella failed. Cinderella gave Hook a white knight that he once gave to Alice to remember him by, but Alice returns it sending a message that she doesn’t need it to remember him because she will find a way for them to meet again. Hook tell them that he would gladly take the pain if he gets to see Alice again, Tiana tell Henry he had a guest, and it was Nick and Jack in that realm.
In Hyperion Heights, Cinderella nervous wait outside the house for Lucy, Cinderella think Lucy will be disappointed in her for giving her up, but Lucy came out have and run into her mother arms. Cinderella introduces Lucy to Nick telling her he was her father, Lucy thanked him for his help but was not buying the father bit.
Back at Roni’s Henry is drinking his pain away, Regina asks Henry if he was drunk, and he starts to blabber about why people fall in love. Regina tell Henry that he was not the only one that was struck and that they needed help, and she is not getting any help in Hyperion, so she was going to California. Regina tells Henry that there is someone there that Tremaine pushed out long ago and she could help them, and the person hates her and asks Henry to go on a road trip, and they plan to hit the road. Hook and Alice makeup and plan to start a weekly game, Hook tell Alice that now his mission is over he feels like he out of it.
Cinderella goes to Roni to give Henry a mix tape she made for him only to find out that he and Roni have gone on a road trip and he didn’t even say goodbye. Drizella finds Anastasia coffin and brings to Gothel, but when they open it, there was nobody inside. Now the question is where is Anastasia and is she already alive?
This was a fun episode to watch, I am liking the new character and appreciate the name drop now and them of the old cast. I would give this doubleheader an 8.7/10.
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