Huh, I just realised I've passed my oral native language final high school exam (matura) by talking about gender fluidity and how sticking to completely binary form is outdated. All that during time I didn't know much about LGBTQ+ community, not knowing I'm aro/ace and of "I don't care" gender and I based my reasoning on the hard sci-fi book (what was actually topic of my exam "how author portraits their time period in their piece" and yes I explained quite nicely why I used sci-fi book as "author's present time") where gender and sex is just the way you portrait yourself since most of people are practically digitalised and you choose your physical avatar you live in and some people have more than one so... You can look however you like basically, so for that manner new pronoun is used for them as basic one.

And I didn't knew this book were quite interesting piece of gender ambiguous umbrella in my country for some time.

You know, in my language (Polish) we use pronounces even in first person talk usually by changing last part of some words for feminine -am and masculine -em (I'm not going to explain it better, I'm ass in grammar) and there's no real alternative aside from pronoun for 'it', which in my language could mean child or object so... Also plural pronouns are gendered to.

There are some initiatives to use 'it' form or create new pronouns for gender ambiguous community but it's tough case since it's basically making quite big change in whole language where our society is still way behind many countries and while portrayed from outside as way more homophobic than it is in case of transphobia... Well, let's say trans people don't have easy and gender ambiguous are usually just treated as 'tomboys' or 'femboys'. (Yes, it's changing and is way better in bigger cities but we are in middle ages still). So pronouns are being created and... While it's individual thing for every person which to use, for me most of them don't seem natural to the language (like -ix one because letter 'x' is basically not existent in polish language and some even change it to '(i)ks' when writing english word in polish sentence) and here I came back to my exam because pronouns that I found the most fitting were... From that book I used as base to my oral essay (created on spot mind you, I had like 15min to prepare after I've got a theme). The thing is they seems interestingly natural and work very well with our grammar. They're based on -um pronoun and next to -om one seems the most fitting to the language itself. They even named after author's surname so it's 'dukatyw' or 'dukaizm'. Of course, I didn't knew that those 7 years ago.

I'm not here trying to push any agenda or great statement - I just found it funny than my 19-yr old ass completely outside of LGBTQ+ community when heard theme was "let's make 15+min lecture about gender and sex fluidity" based on book I've readed like a year earlier which burned my brain and twisted it to the other side and I decided to love it.

The book is "Perfekcyjna Niedoskonałość" (Perfect Imperfection) by Jacek Dukaj and was never translated to any other language and honestly I think it's almost impossible to do so to English without loosing most of it's "flavour". That pronouns thing is just a part of writing and shown universe, tho while subject on ones identity and purpose is main theme of it, the gender is just it - the part.

Time fluctuations, tech bending time and space and some social and interspecies tensions are quite big part of it too but that's other story.

hi. regarding your last post may I ask how you got to a place where you are able to have days like that more frequently? currently a full day like that feels impossible for me but I'd like to fix that if I can.

working little by little!! its all tiny things that come together and get easier over a long period of time, waking up gradually earlier, building up ur work ethic & concentration to work for longer periods of time, trying to find exercise habits and routines that you enjoy and feel good, hobbies that are nourishing etc etc. doing it all at once feels impossible but even doing tiny things to set healthier regular habits is very helpful and can change your life in a meaningful way!

me when i get out of my mentally-low-state:

damn i was so cringe ;_;

I can't fucking believe that I procrastinated my gender for like. A good three years.

one of those crying in the shower kind of days

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I have to get a whole lot of things done today before work that I have been putting off for forever so I got up early (by my standards) and took a vyvanse I had left over from when I stopped taking them (because I the number of panic attacks I was having was more debilitating than unmedicated ADHD) and I think that returning to it after a break has made me realise that they were less panic attacks and more sensory overload meltdowns. Like, sure I can get some graphic design work done and book a smoke alarm service and go to the post office, but also the fact that I have shoulders and I am incapable of not feeling them is just... so much.

In the perfect balance teepee of ADHD and autism, the ADHD pole has been shortened and is no longer providing support to the autism pole, which will cause everything to crash down very shortly.

You know, I'm always surprised when ppl talk about any long living aliens and imagining how centuries and thousands of years would be a blink for them. There are two things that always confuse me.

I imagine if you always had a good grip on the passage of time, it won't really change for you. The only thing would be different, that you won't have to rush thing, bc technically you have a LOT of time in the world to achieve your dreams.

Ppl often think it's specifically about characters who lived very long. But the things is - some human do it too. For example: you have ADHD. For me, time concepts often are so abstract and untouchable I legit don't feel it at all. It can be 5 minutes, it can be an hour - it's all the same. For me, it feels like standing still, only day/night cycle indicating it. But the feeling also constantly shifts.

I would umm like to stop finding out things

wheres that pic of costanza (?) edited to say im shifting into halloween mode. that's me

oh yeah i hope the lady that came upto me while i was eating food with my family and gave me unprompted tips on how to lose weight dies in a ditch alone and miserable.

Just watched the School For Good and Evil film and it was almost really good apart from uh. A few Choices. Like the queercoding with no payoff was expected (though obviously not appriciated) but my main issue was with the fact that they really decided "evil people are ugly and beautiful people are good" was an okay storyline?? Like initially I thought they were subverting that by telling us it was true while showing us the opposite (namely with the conventially attractive princess bitches) but then they really had Sophie 'transform' into an 'ugly' witch when she accepted evil. Complete with all the anti-sematic stereotypes. And then gave Teddy facial scars when he temporarily became evil?? What the fuck?????

Like look, I haven't read the books, so maybe this is accurate but even so. You could (and should) have easily taken it out because, and I cannot stress this enough, it literally did not affect the plot at all

besties if you see me go back down the les mis rabbit hole because joeseph quinn played enjolras one time four years ago in a mini series that wasn’t even that good no you fucking don’t

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had a dream that I found videos of maggie and jasmine from the golden ratio as puppies 💛

(I've had my chatty medicines so you get a post about this)

There is something distinctly and uniquely alienating and bizarre about hearing people say 'Easter Sunday is the most religious day of the year'. Like, when was this?? If it's so religious and so so so important, how come no one thought to tell me it was religious until like four or five years ago?

Yeah it's kinda funny but I'm also sat there every time like "what the fuck are you talking about". The assumption I was raised Christian and am Christian via culture is really funny though cause like. Bro I have no fucking clue what any of this stuff is about.

My parents never taught me the majority of this shit. Anyone else assumed I already knew about it. This Easter talk I've been hearing about a weird amount more than normal is all new to me and making me think of all this shit lmao