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fadingdaggerr · 4 months

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hello! i was wondering if you could write a melissa/reader fic where r unknowingly makes mel very nervous/blush, and after a while melissa starts to become very protective of r until melissa is a big blushing mess and just needs to have her girl 🫶 or whatever u want to take from this, big fan of your work!! mwah 🧛🏻‍♀️🦇

amaranthine

pairing: melissa schemmenti x gn!reader

summary: request above <3 | 2.3k

includes: literally just fluff, tooth rotting fluff, soft!melissa, established but new relationship, light making out

note: sol posting two fics in a month? what is this? no but seriously i got an inspo boost since abbott is back in like 2 weeks so i was rewatching and “get the cameras outta my face before i give you colonoscopy with it” is still top 3 melissa lines (from attack ad)

“You really ate that and have the gall, the gumption to call it food?” Barbara says, baffled by the story you told her as you both were making your coffee. Somehow on the walk in, the conversation had gone from the muffin you got on your way to work, to the topic of childhood lunches.

You laugh, “listen, bologna and ketchup was the only consistent thing I ate until, like, middle school.”

“And you enjoyed that?” she says with a shocked face and what you guess is minor disgust from her downturned lips. You nod in response with a little mhm and Barbara’s hand comes up to hide your face from her line of sight, turning away so as to not laugh right at you. She’s nothing if not polite. Her reaction only makes you laugh more.

You both sober up as you hear the door opening, and there’s equal gratefulness for it being Melissa that enters the room. Your eyes flick over her quickly, taking in her pink top you don’t think you’ve seen before and black leather pants that you’ve certainly never forgotten her wearing. Her eyeliner is perfect, but it doesn’t hide the darker circles under her eyes, the folders in her bag telling you stayed up late to grade assignments.

Barbara greets her while you silently step away to the cabinet, grabbing an orange mug out. You know exactly how she takes her coffee, at least how she takes the bitter lounge coffee, with a sugar and a hefty pour of milk, only the one percent though. Just as she finishes unpacking her stuff and sits down to keep talking with Barb, you return to your spot across from her.

Her eyes move to you, watching you test the coffee with a small sip off the edge. You think a moment before pushing the mug over to her, a tiny smile crossing your lips. She raises a brow, taking a small sip of her own to test it. “It’s perfect, hon, thank you,” she says, just a little ruffled that you pay attention enough to get her coffee right and that she’d never gotten her coffee to taste this good.

“Anything for you,” is your earnest response. With the smile still on your lips, you send a wink her way before your attention is stolen by more people filtering into the room. As you chat over your shoulder with Gregory, Melissa faces her lap, desperate to get rid of the blush that painted her cheeks at the ease of your attention and words.

She decides to stay a little quieter, listening to the conversation Barbara is having with Janine, sipping on her coffee that she was holding close to her chest. There’s a prickly feeling on the side of her face, and when she turns she finds your eyes on her. They flick from her eyes to her shirt, scanning her the sleeves and stitching, and she has to pretend she didn’t notice the barely lingering look at her chest.

“New shirt?” you ask when your eyes meet hers.

She takes in a deep breath, “yeah, just got it yesterday. D’ya not like it or something?”

“What? No, Mel,” you said, “you look beautiful. As always.”

There’s not enough time for her to hide before her cheeks are an even brighter shade of pink than her shirt, eyes blinking rapidly. Melissa prays that Barbara didn't just hear you say those words, let alone see her reaction to them. Whatever this was between you two, it’s new and fragile and not fully defined, and you both agreed you don’t want to let anyone in just yet.

—☽—

Melissa has become attuned to you. She knows when you’re around well before she sees you, always able to sense your presence. If it was because she was always looking for you, she’d never admit it.

With soft steps knowing it’s a quiet time in her room, you approach her classroom as a stop on your way to the lounge for popcorn. Stopping in her doorway, she immediately turns and looks at you. Eyes widening at the immediate attention, you give her a little wave.

“Alright little eagles, I’m gonna be in the hall. Youse better stay on your best behavior,” she says as she stands up from the desk, making an ‘I’m-watching-you’ motion. Joining you in the hall with a little smile on her face, she leans against the wall.

“You didn’t have to leave your class,” you say as you match her position, leaning into her space just a little.

Her smile grows a bit, “then why’d you stop by?”

“Just wanted to see you, that’s all. But getting you to talk to you is definitely a bonus,” you answer, the grin on your face stretching as you look at her while you speak.

That wasn’t the answer she was expecting, not that she really knew what she thought you’d say. Licking her lips, she ducks her head and shakes it, but only for a second. Looking back up at you, she manages to say, “you just came to stare at me then?”

“I prefer the word ‘admire,’ but same-difference.”

“Yeah, right,” she says with a little scoff, trying hard to keep from allowing the heat to creep up her neck.

You mock her a little scoff with a smirk as you push off the wall, about to start back on your journey. “Whatever you say, gorgeous,” you say before turning away. Your turn stutters as you come back around, fingers raising to her necklace to fix the chain so the clip was at the back of her neck. You mumble a barely audible there we go before you turn around and continue on your way.

Melissa is frozen in place for a moment, hand raising to her neck, tracing the spot your hand ran against. A thankful thought passed her mind that the hall was empty, not even a doc camera around. She was not above threatening them to delete the footage or smashing the camera that caught her flustered and dazed from your affection.

—☽—

At lunch, she has to refrain from looking at you, knowing that if she even dared to, that her cheeks would be as red as the firetrucks she adores. Thinking instead that she didn’t want to talk at the moment, you were conversing with Jacob about a movie he watched over the weekend and was dying to share it with someone. Admittedly, Melissa was half listening, really only to hear your voice.

There was a slight snicker from the couches, a sort of snicker that peaked Melissa’s attention. She sees Mr. Morton and another eighth-grade teacher peering at yours and Jacob’s direction, clearly listening to your conversation and finding it humorous. Focusing her ears, she hears mumbles of lame as hell and great, another freak. Her brows furrow and fists clench, Barbara quickly notices her friend’s change in mood and gives her a questioning gaze that Melissa ignores.

“Aye,” Melissa pipes up, the whole room goes silent. Her eyes stay on Morton and what’s-her-face as she menacingly says, “watch your mouth or I watch it for you. Got it?” The only response either one gives her is a fast nod before averting their eyes, frozen in place from fear.

When Melissa’s glare finally leaves them, everyone else’s eyes drop to avoid being next, except for yours and Barbara’s.

“What was that for?” Barbara speaks quietly so only the three of you at the table can hear.

“Nothing, Barb. Just didn’t like what they were saying is all,” she answers, purposefully keeping her eyes off both of you.

Your hand goes to her arm in an attempt to comfort her a bit, thumb caressing her skin, “what were they saying?”

Melissa desperately tries to ignore her rapid heart, “it was nothing, hon. Don’t worry about it.” Unable to resist a little bit of extra contact, she pats your hand reassuringly. Neither of you notice Barbara’s eyebrows fly up in surprise at the outward affection you both displayed.

When lunch ended, Barbara went back to her classroom to do her lesson on the changing seasons, and you and Melissa both had prep periods while your students went off to recess and their extra activities. Taking the extra time you rarely got to have together during the work day, you spent the majority of the hour grading next to each other. Little smiles and checking in made you both ditch the grading altogether, just enjoying each other's company.

“If I invited you over for dinner tonight, what would you say to that?” she asks with a coy smile.

“I’d say I’d love to have dinner with you,” you reply with a tad of shyness, playing with the rings on her hand you were holding in your lap.

“Six work for you?”

“I’ll be there, on the dot.”

Your phone buzzes on the table next to you, making you flinch at the sudden intrusion. She heard you mumble shit under your breath, before you stand and hurriedly collect your things. Double checking that you had everything, you let out a deep breath.

Without much thought, you lean down and press a soft kiss to her cheek, “I’ll see you later.” Before she can respond you’re rushing out of the room to get your kids from art class.

Melissa’s head drops to her desk and grumbles, “gonna be the death of me, that one.”

—☽—

In her kitchen, you’d found that your favorite spot was sitting on the counter next to her. She let you ‘help’ by letting you add the seasonings, but wouldn’t let you near much else. You were content to look at her while she worked in her element, an ease and happiness in her movements that you delight in.

With just having to wait for the vegetables to cook down a bit, she turns to you and leans in close, arm brushing your thigh. You bite your lip, trying to suppress a smile, and raise your hand to brush hair out of her face. Your hand slides from behind her ear to cup her jaw, thumb stroking her cheek.

“You’re so pretty, you know?”

She doesn’t respond. Instead she leans into you, her hands moving from the counter to your thighs. Pink lips brush against yours, a silent question. This was all she’s been wanting since you two snuck away Friday as everyone left school, where she left you breathless in your empty classroom. The answer she gets is your lips pressing into her, soft and slow, savoring the taste of her. Melissa barely holds back a whine at the feeling of your lips on hers, she never thought she could miss a feeling so much, but a weekend apart from you had her craving your touch. Your tongue traces against her bottom lip, begging for entry, and she’s quick to grant it.

Unlike her, you don’t hold in a groan at the feeling of her mouth on yours. Your hands travel into her hair, lightly tugging her closer. The sensation has her hands gripping your thighs, using them to pull you into her. You feel a certain desperation in her kiss that allows you to take the lead easily, sucking her bottom lip between your teeth and biting gently before kissing her softer to make it better. Your legs wrap around her as you slow your lips, wanting her close as possible.

As you pull away, she pushes back in to catch your lips again for just a second. Her hands on your thighs are making it incredibly hard for you to focus on your already struggling breathing. There’s a muted moan from her as your fingers scratch her scalp, pulling gently as her soft hair.

“You’re trouble, you know?” she murmurs breathlessly, mirroring your previous question.

You smile as you rest your head against the cupboard behind you, still holding her face as you ask, “how so?”

“All you’re staring and flirting, you know exactly what I’m talking about,” she responds like it’s obvious.

“Again, I was admiring, not staring. And when was I flirting?” Your tone and the look on your face makes the redhead realize that you truly weren’t aware of the effect you were having on her.

Her hands slide up to your waist, your shirt raising just enough for her pinkies to brush your skin. The goosebumps that develop under her touch makes her heart skip a beat, loving that she had a similar effect on you. When she doesn’t answer you right away, you angle her face to bring her attention back to you, silently asking your question again with your eyes.

Melissa sighs, “saying you’d do ‘anything’ for me, calling me beautiful and pretty. You’re a flirt.”

“Those are just all true, not really flirting. I would do anything for you and you are very beautiful and very pretty,” you say, smiling. The heat in her cheeks spread to your hands, the warmth spreading to your heart. She tries to duck away but you’re faster, pulling her closer just barely to press a soft kiss to the corner of her lips.

She wants to respond, but no words form under your gaze. Your eyes avert from hers and she finds hers following where yours go. Suddenly the simmering of the vegetables in the pot reaches her ears, reminding her that there was a world outside your eyes and lips. Your hands drop from her face, letting her go to check on the food you can’t touch. She just squeezes your hips before letting go.

You’ll still be there when she gets back.

feedback appreciated as always <3

title means something that is ‘undying or everlasting’

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #lisa ann walter #abbott elementary #lgbtq fanfiction #lgbtq #lesbian

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jksprincess10 · 1 year

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Hi! I love your stories so much💜

I didn't know if you would write a cute story of pedro and an interviewer (y/n) having a flirty interview and then randomly running into each other later at like the grocery store or something?

Yesss !! Omg ! Please more sweet Pedro ideas like that !!

CW: implied smut, heavy flirting.

In your years of working as an interviewer for a big magazine, you were never nervous meeting celebrities. Until today. You were meeting the man of the hour, Pedro Pascal. He was totally part of your fantasies every week as you sat down to watch and rewatched The Last of Us.

He had the reputation of being really nice, but what if he found you insufferable? So, you did the most to look at least your best on the outside. You were wearing a chic black jacket, a matching skirt, and a colorful blouse. You sat on the set as you were waiting to meet Pedro, fidgeting nervously with your rings.

Your boss appeared minutes later with Pedro beside him. You got up to shake the star’s hand, trying not to blush. He was wearing a loose cardigan, chic pants, a t-shirt, and his thick black frames were sitting on his nose. He held your hand a little longer as you shook it, lifting it up to look at your colorful nails.

“I love your nail color!” He exclaimed with a smile.

You already felt more at ease.

“Thank you, it’s so nice to meet you.”

You both did the presentations, before you sat down in front of each other for the interview. You went over the questions with him to make sure he was comfortable. Once you were sure everything was okay, the camera started rolling.

“We are here today with the man of the moment, the legend, Pedro Pascal.”

He blushed under the compliment.

“Oh, shush, you’re just staying that.” He laughed.

“No really, we are all obsessed with you, and there is a reason besides your dashing looks. The way you portrayed Joel is amazing. How did you get ready for this role?”

“You’re not bad yourself.” He teased, and you were probably blushing. Thankfully, the camera would focus more on Pedro. “I did have to go in mostly blind, as the producers didn’t want us to play the game. I read the script and discovered an extremely complex character. So, I did try to portray that.”

“You succeeded! With your role as Joel, you had the chance to work with Bella Ramsey, who plays a girl who eventually becomes a daughter to your character. How did your relationship with them evolved as the filming went on?”

“We did become really close. We took care of each other. I miss them every day now!”

“Bella, you better call Pedro!” You said as you pointed at the camera. “I’ll come for you!”

You both erupted in laughter.

“Maybe I shouldn’t threaten a 19 years-old.”

“Maybe not.”

“Anyways! Did you think that the series was well received by the fans of the game?”

“Yes, for the most part. I think we did our best to do justice to the source material, which is already amazing. I feel so loved.” He said as he put a hand on his heart, fake crying.

“You are, definitely!”

You asked all your questions, finishing up by asking what’s next for him.

“I… I don’t know really, I’m open to anything.”

“Hopefully we get a nice and lengthy rom-com with you.” You teased with a smile.

“Are you an actress? You’d make a good love interest.”

“I mean, I can become one for you.”

It seemed like you two were shamelessly flirting. But Pedro was like that with everyone, right? When the camera stopped rolling, you fanned your face with a hand, which made Pedro laugh.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yes, I survived meeting you. But now, I need you to leave so I can breathe.” You smiled.

Pedro was a busy man, so he did have to leave shortly after. He hugged you as he said he’d see you around.

A few days later, after the interview was diffused and people were speculating on who you were, you went grocery shopping as you always did on Mondays. Your trip always finished in the pet’s aisle, where you got litter for your cat.

As you were lifting the box, familiar hands with a messy target tattoo grabbed it for you and dropped it inside your cart. You smiled as you looked up to Pedro.

“Who said I needed help?” You asked.

“Sorry, I just wanted an excuse to talk to you again.” The man shrugged. “Thanks again for the interview, it was really fun.” He took out his phone of his jeans pocket and handed it to you. “I forgot to ask for your number.”

“I thought you were flirting with me just for the camera.” You said as you typed in your phone number. “You put me in trouble with your fans.”

“I was not. Do you… want to go for coffee later, so I can make it up to you?”

“Yes. I’d love to, Pedro.” You smiled so hard, it hurt your cheeks.

“I’ll text you the deets.”

You met at a café that was opened pretty late. It was a cozy place that Pedro suggested, where you would be mostly left alone. When you went inside, you easily found him, already sitting at a small table with two mugs.

You sat in front of him with a wide smile. Your hands laid on your jeans-covered thighs, so he wouldn’t see how much you were shaking.

“Please, don’t tell me you got me 6 shots of expresso.”

His brows shot up as he looked at you with a surprised expression.

“Well, hello to you too. It’s a cafe latte. And how do you know so much about me?”

“Had to do my research before our interview.” You lied, not wanting to look a fangirl who totally had that particular tiktok edit saved in your phone. “Thanks for the coffee.”

You took a sip of the warm beverage.

“No problem. So, I’m guessing you have a cat? Or 10?”

“No, it’s for my own toilet.” You rolled your eyes with a smile, and the actor laughed with you.

The conversation flowed between you two very easily, like you were old friends meeting. You talked over coffee until very late.

“I’ll accompany you to your place, if you want.” Pedro said as you two crossed the door of the café. “New York at night can be pretty shitty.”

You surely had your fair share of experiences walking late at night and being harassed by strangers.

“I appreciate it.” You thanked him. Mentally, you were trying to remember if your apartment was messy.

He stayed with you for the subway ride and even accompanied you to your door.

“You… want to come in?” You unlocked your door with trembling hands.

“Sure.” He agreed, trying to sound as laid back as possible, like he wasn’t waiting for you to ask this exact question.

Once the door was closed behind you, you couldn’t resist but grabbing onto his t-shirt to bring him closer. Pedro smirked as he looked down at your lips, before you leaned in to kiss him.

“You made me have too much coffee, so I won’t sleep tonight. Wanna help with that?” You asked against his lips, grinning.

“Gladly.”

You walked backwards to your bedroom as you kept pulling on his shirt, not keeping your lips to yourself.

#writing requests #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal x yn #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction

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becauseimanicequeen · 1 month

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Don't Ask Me for QL Recommendations Because My Taste is BAD

Bad as in TRASHY.

For your own good, don't ask me for recommendations.

I'm writing this because I've gotten some asks lately for QL recommendations and I wanted to spare you the pain.

If you still don't trust me (because to be fair, why would you? I'm just a random weirdo on the internet), let me tell you how bad my taste is so you'll know why I'm doing you a great favor by sparing you the pain.

(I also watch, and rewatch, series/films for ridiculous reasons, yet another reason not to listen to me. I’ll come back to this in a minute.)

Let's start with a brief rewind to a couple of decades ago (because it matters in this context).

The first queer content of any kind I can remember watching was Xena: The Warrior Princess in the late 90s and early 00s (I was a child/pre-teen at the time). It was such a pivotal point for me, which is why I remember it vividly. Not only was Lucy Lawless (the actress playing Xena) the most beautiful human being I had ever seen at that point, Xena was also queer and I loved her.

The series, though? It’s bad.

It’s over-the-top, contains ridiculous humor, face-palm-worthy fight scenes, etc., etc. (But, it was also the 90s, so it was quality television at the time, no matter what anyone else says.) It was so bad that it was ridiculously entertaining. I would watch it today (if I could find it anywhere…). That’s how bad my taste is (or how attached I am to bad shit).

That’s when the groundwork for my bad taste was laid. I blame THANK Xena: The Warrior Princess for it.

Then there was a huge skip until July last year when I found the Asian QL world, because I had no idea it even existed (I’m from Europe, btw).

(My personal story is that I fell into the queer/gay film world before the QL world, and the queer films I could find were made and released very sporadically. But ever since I found the treasure trove of Asian QL series in July 2023, I’ve watched 291 series/films as of right now.)

The reason I fell into the Asian QL world was thanks to a Short on YouTube with the main characters from Roommates of Poongduck 304 kissing. (Want to know what convinced me to watch it? One of them was wearing blue and the other pink, two of my favorite colors. Yep, that’s the reason. Told you it would be ridiculous.)

Since then, I’ve been exploring this rabbit hole and loving every second of all the bad shit that’s out there (there’s some great shit too, and some great things that aren’t shit at all, but they’re not really my taste because my taste is trashy, remember?).

I quickly noticed what my taste was pulling me towards and, in some cases, the trashier it was, the more I liked it.

(I’m talking about fiction here. I’m mature enough to be able to separate fiction from reality. Just because I enjoy watching a series/film that depicts a problematic topic, and sometimes do it in a problematic way, doesn’t mean I condone it in real life. I’m just putting this here as a disclaimer because people on the internet are easily offended nowadays. And I honestly don’t have time to respond to people who are venting their anger after purposefully misinterpreting what I’ve said, unless there’s a very valid reason, which there usually isn’t.)

So, what are some of my favorites that I absolutely do not recommend you watch?

Unless you want to watch trash, then, have at it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

(Btw, if you like any of these, I apologize for calling your taste bad and trashy. But, if you like any of these, I think you already know your taste is bad. Also, if you like any of these, hey, bestie!)

Let’s start with the less extreme ones so I don’t scare you away from the start. After that, they’re in no particular order.

(With the issues/TW section for each series/film I include possible trigger warnings, taboo topics, what viewers/commenters have brought up as problematic, my possible issues with the writing, etc. I won’t list everything (because some of them would have looong lists) but I’m including some of the major ones.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

Both couples in this series have their own set of issues. Ai Di and Chen Yi are the “adoptive” brothers who become lovers while Ze Rui and Zong Yi have an age gap (I can’t remember how big of an age gap but I think it was close to 10-ish years).

(Before I move on there’s one thing you should know about me… I was born into a family with a varying degree of age gaps within marriages, from 2 to 23 years. Even though we’ve talked about the bigger age gaps occasionally, it’s never been an issue. I don’t mind age gaps as long as they’re legal. Does that mean I would hook up with someone in their late teens or early twenties? No. I would rather hook up with someone who has a fully developed brain, which science suggests doesn’t happen until somewhere in the mid-to-late-twenties. But it does mean that age gaps (as long as they’re legal) aren’t something I’ll be bothered by or judgemental of.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me is one of my favorite series because:

It’s from Taiwan, and the Taiwanese QLs are generally great at dealing with more difficult and taboo topics.

Ai Di is the feistiest, most colorful, and pettiest bitch and I love him with my entire ice-cold heart.

Chen Yi looks amazing in black.

The neon lights (because I’m a slut for that).

Also, the kissing (from both couples) is great.

You know, I did say that these would be series/films I absolutely do not recommend you watch. But I’ll actually recommend this one. Watch it. It’s great.

Unknown (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another one I’ll actually recommend you watch because it’s great.

The main couple (Qian and Yuan) are the “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers while the age gap is most prominent between San Pang (Qian’s business partner) and Lili (Qian’s younger sister). There’s also the fact that San Pang is part of their chosen family and has seen Lili grow up and stuff. So, if that bothers you, then don’t watch it.

The biggest reasons I would personally recommend it to those I know aren’t particularly bothered by taboo topics are because:

The yearning is palpable (and I love shit like that).

Qian would move heaven and earth for his family.

The great story.

The even more amazing acting.

Some moments made me bawl (and since I'm an ice queen, I get obsessed with shit that shatters my ice and makes me cry).

I know I said my taste is trashy… but I would actually give myself a gold star for loving this one.

Now, back to the real trash…

Love in the Air (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, rape, MAME, etc.

Everyone and their aunt (or however the saying goes in English) seem to have an issue with MAME (the original creator of LITA and several other trashy BLs) and for good reason. (I would say that she improved a lot with Wedding Plan, which is the least problematic thing I’ve watched from her and it’s the latest series of hers, as of right now.) If she’s grown, remains to be seen. But it doesn’t change the fact that LITA has some issues.

Honestly, I just watch this for the visuals, as in the motorcycles and the neon lights. That’s it. That’s the reason.

I mean, if you look at the whole first sex scene between Sky and Prapai, you get what I mean with the neon lights. It’s divine. (I recently rewatched LITA for this very reason. A waste of time, you say? Not when you’re a slut for neon lights.)

Don’t watch this though! Just enjoy this gif instead…

I just saved you 13-ish hours of your life. You’re welcome.

TharnType and TharnType 2: 7 Years of Love (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, homophobia, domestic violence, MAME, etc.

Don’t watch this. This is bad. As in, really bad. And all the issues are in the main couple’s relationship.

But, since my taste is really bad, I rewatched this recently for horny reasons (it’s Mew, after all, and he’s got me in a chokehold for some reason). It’s still as bad as I remembered it, but I would still rewatch it for Mew’s sake (and because Techno is ridiculous throughout both seasons, which means I love him).

To be fair there are other, a lot spicier, series that I watch more often for horny reasons (yes, some of them are in this post because they’re trashy too), but none of them include Mew. And since I have to get my dose of Mew from time to time, I return to TharnType (especially the second season).

Big Dragon (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, blackmail, etc.

This isn’t that problematic in my opinion, but there is definitely a drug-induced sexcapade that’s taped and used for blackmail for a while. And that's how the series starts.

I recently did a rewatch of this and it was still bad (in a good way) and I loved every second of it.

What I love about this series are:

The visuals. The set designs are beautiful (especially Yai’s home and the bar, before he demolishes it). As a visual artist, this is speaking to my soul.

The chemistry between Yai and Mangkorn.

Pong and Park. Two idiots I love with my whole ice-cold heart.

And the title track because it’s addictive as hell to listen to.

Also, the sex (which my horny ass needs). Let's not forget the sex. Those scenes were also visually stunning, which made me love them even more.

Honestly, I'll kneel and bow down to this shit because it's that great.

Don’t trust my judgment, though, because my taste is trashy.

Only Friends (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Manipulation, stalking, promiscuity, etc.

This series is messy in terms of intrigue (especially from Boston and then Boeing’s part). The ending had some issues. The sex isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, either. I, on the other hand, would drink a whole pot of this.

Overall, I loved this trash. Mainly because of:

How visually stunning it is.

Sand. He’s a hardworking, good person. He’s also a proud bi!

How they depicted and handled Ray’s addiction and recovery. (I know some watchers were upset that the focus of the series landed on Sand and Ray towards the end while neglecting the other characters, which is a valid point. However, setting that aside, the way they portrayed Ray’s addiction and then his road to recovery in the last couple of episodes was realistic, and I loved it.)

The promiscuity, because I loved it and the mess it created.

Boston being a slutty asshole. The more of a slutty asshole he was, the more I loved him. (I know, it’s a me-problem.)

Boeing coming in and kissing (almost) everyone.

It’s trashy, it’s messy, and I love it!

But, I don’t recommend it to anyone.

My Beautiful Man 1, 2, and 3 Eternal (Japan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, obsession, bullying, lack of (or no real) communication, etc.

I love this series (2 seasons + 1 film), but I honestly don’t see it as particularly problematic. But I know others will disagree with me, so here it is on my list of trashy QLs.

I don’t mind Hira’s obsession because I know Kiyoi is just as whipped for Hira (even though he doesn’t know how to communicate it to Hira at first, especially in a way that Hira understands). Would I be okay with someone’s obsession and stalking in real life? Of course not. But, as I mentioned before, I’m mature enough to separate fiction from reality.

Also, I love miscommunicating characters, especially when the misunderstandings they create bring out all the emotions (angst, hurt, anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc.) and even the flight response. I especially love miscommunicating characters when they learn to communicate throughout the series/film. And this series is especially delicious on the miscommunicating part.

But, it’s also problematic, apparently. So, don’t watch it.

The End of the World With You (Japan)

Issues/TW: Blackmail, biphobia, cheating, etc.

I’ll be honest and say that I’ve only watched this series three times. And that’s because the biphobia is fucking annoying. In this series, the bi character is depicted as a cheater (which is common in QLs, btw). It’s an exasperating stereotype. Cheating has nothing to do with your sexuality and everything to do with who you are as a person.

(I mean, you can be a proud bi like Payu in LITA or Sand in OF. They have eyes only for one person as soon as they’re pursuing or dating someone. Give me more bi characters like this, please.)

We could discuss how cheating can be used as characterization in certain stories. But not in this one. Here, they’re basically using Ritsu’s bisexuality as the reason he’s cheating (since he’s sleeping with Masumi while having a thing going on with a girl, and then sleeping with a girl when he has a thing with Masumi), which is why it’s bothering me in this series.

If I’m going to tell you why I like this series, however, it’s for 2 reasons:

It’s about getting a second chance, a topic I love.

The sex (laser-focused horny Ritsu is my favorite Ritsu).

Check Out (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Biphobia, cheating, lazy writing, etc.

(It should be mentioned that I’ve read some comments about some issues involving the company behind this series. I haven’t dug deeper into this so I don’t really know if there’s any substance to the comments I’ve read (like official statements from the company or the other people involved, etc.). But I’m putting this out there in case this might be a potential issue for you (even though I’ve already told you that I don’t recommend you watch any of these because they’re all trashy).)

When I first checked this out at the beginning of this year, this series seemed to have created a storm of bad comments and reviews on MDL since it first came out. So, obviously, I needed to watch it because my taste is trashy.

And, you know what? I loved it!

Besides having the bi character depicted as a cheater (again, the use of this biphobic stereotype is so fucking annoying) and the sporadic clunky and stale scenes, I loved this series because:

It’s about second chances. As I mentioned before, I love that topic.

Best (the actor playing Daonuea) is the best in this series. There’s just something about him that grabs my attention every time. He has me in a similarly tight chokehold as Mew.

There’s sex (and my horny ass needs it).

But, it’s also trash, so don’t watch it.

Pit Babe (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Domestic violence, non-consensual, SA, age gap, etc.

This became popular. Really popular. I saw people comment about it everywhere. And usually, when stuff becomes popular, it’s more than likely reduced to trash quality by the general public. So, obviously, I had to watch it.

Did I end up loving it? Yes.

Honestly, the biggest issue this series had for me was the whole omegaverse thing (this was a new thing for me because I don’t come from an erotic fiction background, my head was rather stuck in fantasy fiction). And, from my limited understanding of this, they didn’t seem to fully commit to the omegaverse thing in Pit Babe, which was unfortunate.

The racing was also so-so for me, which hurt my soul because I usually love racing (cars, mcs, boats, etc.).

What I did like, however, was:

The chemistry between Pete and Kenta (and I’m so sad I only got crumbs of this).

Pavel (the actor playing Babe). I would watch and listen to him recite product placement scripts for toothpaste all day long.

The sex, especially the scene with Babe and Charlie in ep. 9 (even though it was mixed with clips from the racing) and Jeff and Alan’s scene in ep. 13 (because it was sensual, if we ignore the music).

The neon lights (have I mentioned that I’m a slut for neon lights?). I mean, just look at this:

I can watch that pinkish light all day long, even though Babe and Charlie are trying to distract me. (Especially Pavel!)

Dead Friend Forever (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Grooming, bullying, suicide & suicide attempts, etc.

Besides the issues listed above, this also suffered from lazy writing at the end. BUT, I fucking loved DFF anyway.

I never expected to love this series because it’s just a bunch of teenagers stuck at a house in the woods. How interesting could that be? Turns out, very.

DFF wasn’t perfect (perfection doesn’t exist anyway), but what I loved about it was:

The morally ambiguous characters.

The revenge plot.

The poetic justice.

The questioning of what was real vs hallucination.

The visually stunning shots.

The mask!

And Tan’s mask!

The beheading scene.

I could go on, but you get the point. I just love this piece of trash.

But, please, don’t watch it. You will suffer from brain rot. Trust me.

I, however, am currently rewatching this because I choose the brain rot. And my taste is trashy, remember? Or, perhaps I just love watching chaos unfold…

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, tragic ending, etc.

Everyone and their aunt and even their dog have an issue with the ending of this one. And it’s understandable.

I don’t necessarily like or dislike the ending. Obviously, the bury your gays trope is tragic in itself, and, tragically, it’s still being used. That’s why I couldn’t find myself liking the ending, even though I don’t mind tragic endings. (Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite classics, which people tend to forget is a tragedy and not a romance, btw, but I digress…)

At the same time, though, this series made me cry for a whole episode before tragedy struck because I could feel it. And you have no idea how obsessed I get about shit that makes me cry (since I’m an ice queen).

(Another side note: one of my favorite BLs is Once Again, which made me bawl throughout the whole series. It’s not on this list because it’s neither trashy nor bad, but it’s still one of my favorites because it broke me in the best ways. But, anyway…)

The best part of this series from beginning to end was the other couple, at least for me. This couple is the one with the age gap (which, again, doesn’t bother me) and I fucking love them! One, because Wilson Liu (the actor playing Bo Xiang) is such a gem. Second, because their first time was such a spur-of-the-moment thing fueled by a desire that went from 0-100kph in less time than a Ferrari would. And I loved it (just as much as the squeezing of boobs from behind, which, for some reason, appeals to me).

Also, the twins are so pretty it’s annoying.

Do I recommend it, though? No, because I don’t have time to respond to the clap back I’ll get when you come to the end.

HIStory 4: Close to You (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, obsession, age gap, stepbrothers becoming lovers, etc.

This one has some problems (especially the relationship between Yong Jie and Xing Si), but I love both the series and its problems (yes, I’m trash). You could say that I’m as obsessed with this series as Yong Jie is with Xing Si. Would I get this series drunk and fuck the living daylights out of it? No. But I would watch it once every 3 months or so. Oh, wait… I already do that. Because I’m trash.

What do I love so much about this series (other than what I mentioned above):

It’s from Taiwan.

Li Cheng is ridiculous, which is exactly why I love him.

Every time I rewatch it, it gets funnier.

The chemistry between Li Cheng and Teng Teng is amazing.

As well as the chemistry between Yong Jie and Xing Si.

The kissing is just as amazing.

The main fujoshi girl, Mei Fang, is so cute I can’t handle her.

And the bathroom scene! In that lighting! It’s iconic!

I don’t care what anyone else says. This is fucking gold to me. But, then again, my taste is trash. So, don’t listen to me.

KinnPorsche (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, torture, Stockholm syndrome-ish, etc.

This is some next-level trash, and I fucking love it.

Two of the major relationships in this series (Kinn & Porsche and Vegas & Pete) are problematic at some point. Especially Vegas and Pete who have this whole captor/captive, torture, BDSM-ish type relationship. Of course, I love Vegas and Pete because my taste is super trashy (yes, it’s a me-problem, but I don’t force my taste on other people, so, for the love of all that is holy, don’t watch this!).

Other reasons I love this series and rewatch it from time to time:

It’s visually stunning! The cinematography is amazing. As I mentioned before, I’m a visual artist, so this is a very valid reason for me to watch it again and again. And again.

The neon lights.

The whole mafia thing.

The sex (because my horny ass needs it).

Playboyy (Thailand)

Issues/TW: SA, homophobia, suicide, etc.

I was debating whether or not to add this to my list solely based on the ending. However, up until that point, I really liked it.

The fact that every episode starts with a whole ass list of trigger warnings tells me this is my shit. And it was.

At times, it was so bad that it was good (until the ending, which was just so bad it was bad). The things I liked were:

The mystery.

Win (who played Nuth). His acting was great.

The chemistry between Nuth and Phop.

The tattooed daddy that’s Aob and his chemistry with Puen (there’s also an age gap here, btw, but as I’ve mentioned before, it’s fine by me as long as it’s legal).

The weird ass sex scenes (and the underwear).

And the not so weird ass sex scenes (like the ones between Aob and Puen and the ones between Nuth and Phop).

But, this series is trashy. Keep as far away from it as possible. If you still decide to dip in, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Red Wine in the Dark Night (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Obsession, blood, human blood bags, etc.

This is a queer film that’s BL-ish with some dark themes. Mainly, it’s about how far Wine would go to help the person he’s fallen for (or become attached to).

What I loved about this film was:

Fluke (who plays Wine). He’s such a great actor and I love him in everything he does.

Wine who is so desperate to love someone and be loved that he ends up doing some weird shit.

The darker and sadder vibe, which I love.

Irresistible Love 1 and Irresistible Love 2 (China)

(This is also called Uncontrolled Love.)

Issues/TW: Obsession, homophobia, codependency, adoptive brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another queer film (in two parts) that is more BL-ish than the films I’m getting into below.

This depicts a weird relationship dynamic between Xie Yan and Shu Nian where Shu Nian was basically adopted into the family to become Xie Yan’s friend/babysitter/lackey. This is some weird ass shit, and I love weird ass shit so I really enjoyed this rare, uncensored, gem from China.

But, it’s also trashy. So, don’t watch it.

The next couple of films I’ll mention are (obviously) trashy, but also complex and deep (which is why I love them).

One Summer Night (South Korea)

Issues/TW: Obsession, dependency, oppression, etc.

This is a low-budget film from 2016 (so, production-wise, it’s definitely nothing like the usual stuff from South Korea you can watch on Netflix), but I love it.

It’s gritty, it’s raw, it’s explicit (an emphasis on explicit because you’ll see dicks), it deals with being a North Korean defector but ending up in an impoverished situation in South Korea, and it ends with a dubious ending you can interpret in different ways.

This is definitely not for the general QL viewers who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

And it's trashy. So, don’t watch it.

Dangerous Drugs of Sex (Japan)

Issues/TW: All the trigger warnings! Seriously. I feel like it’s better to say that so you’ll look up the TWs for yourself (if you choose to watch this, which I'm asking you not to) rather than me mentioning a few and forgetting others.

With this film, what others see are all the trigger warnings (and, yes, I see them too, they’re fucking obvious). However, I can see beyond that and watch it for what it is at the core: Two characters dealing with incredible grief.

Grief is a topic that often affects me and I can relate to it because I’ve had to deal with a lot of grief in my relatively short life. Watching a film like this where grief pushes the characters to their very limits will (often) get a special place in my heart, especially if done well. And it’s done very well in this film.

Do I condone the characters’ behaviors? No (especially not Yoden Ryoji’s). But I do understand that grief can send you over the edge (and in some cases throw you off the edge) because I’ve experienced it. I do understand that grief can cause you to make horrible decisions because I’ve done it (though, not this extreme). I do understand that grief can be self-destructive because I’ve been there. This film shows it all. That’s why I love it so much.

Do I recommend you watch this, tough? No. Don’t do it. This is not for everyone. It’s definitely not for those who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

But it is for me because I love trash. Especially good trash. And this is the best trash I’ve ever seen when it comes to gay films.

Anything by Scud Cheng

Lastly, I want to mention any film by Scud Cheng because…

And I’m an artist so art means everything to me.

Cheng is a screenwriter and director from Hong Kong. His films, the ones I’ve seen, are gritty, nude, and real. They are more on the art side than the others I’ve listed above, which is why they have a special place in my heart.

They’re also deep and explore themes like introspection (are we doing things because we believe they’re the right thing to do, or because external forces have “brainwashed” us to believe they’re the normal thing to do?), the porn industry and how it exploits young and queer men, death, politics, and love, to name a few.

These are not for the average QL watcher. They’re not for the faint of heart. They’re not for those who want an entertaining watch.

These films require multiple viewings. I’ve watched some once, some twice, and some more times, and I still find new themes and meanings woven into the stories. So, they’re complex and deep.

But, don’t watch them because I know you’ll come at me later. So, to spare us both the time and energy it would take to argue about this shit, just don’t watch any of it.

Now, if you still want to ask me for recommendations after all that, don't tell me I didn't warn you!

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obsidiansarchive · 7 months

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Hello, good afternoon? (I'm using the translator) Sorry for the inconvenience but I would like to place an order. Dazai and chuuya (aside) with a Fem!reader who can't sleep without them, waits until late at night for them to come home from work because he can't sleep without them because he watches horror videos and because of anxiety. Thank you very much for reading me! I hope it was understood.

sleepless nights...

warnings: anxiety, mentions of a panic attack, obsidian: (dazai x f!reader), (chuuya x f!reader) :: reader stays up all night watching horror movies and now they can't go to sleep without their boyfriend <33 notes. not proofread (lol). sfw + this is a really cute request!!

% - DAZAI

_______ He has a pretty dangerous job even though he makes it seem like it's a basic office job, so when you tell him about your fears, he simply shrugs it off and changes the subject. Even when he has to leave in the morning, you can't help but think that something terrible is going to happen to him and at any moment you'll get a call saying he won't be coming back home. Well one day during work, one of your younger coworkers showed you this youtube channel with scary "true" stories and to be honest, it's quite addictive. So now you're at home at 12.00am waiting for Dazai, while 80 different things are going through your mind. Your so freaked out that you text dazai to come home and that it's urgent, and when he does and finds out it was because stupid youtube videos. He'll never let you live it down, of course he'll comfort you, but not without slipping some jokes in here and there. He'll even go through the videos and point out everything fake in it (he actually thinks this helps but he's kinda just forcing you to rewatch them). He'll also keep note on how scared you are when he isn't home and will try to come home a little earlier but theres no way he'll tell you that.

% - CHUUYA

_____________ due to his job, it's hard not to worry about his safety during the day, and especially at night. He knows this and has tried to reassure you by reminding you about his ability, but it never works. It makes it even worse that he comes home at the unholiest of times, and one day while you were attempting to stay up for him, you decide to put on a movie called "resident massacre" In your defense, you didn't realize it was a horror movie (you were half asleep and drunk on energy drinks). But once the movie starts to play, you realized that this was not a normal movie, and you wouldn't say you can be easily freaked out. But the way your home alone, your neighbors hate you, and your pretty sure they've been plotting on you since the beginning isn't exactly helping. Well, on the good side, at least you know you won't be going to sleep anytime soon. But on the other hand, you still haven't fixed your back doors lock. In the midst of your panic attack, you can hear your front door creak open. you arm yourself with a pillow and walk carefully to the front door. When the door opens fully, and reveals your tired out boyfriend, you drop the pillow and immediately fall into his arms. He seems happy for the attention although slightly confused on why your still awake and almost beat him with one your decorations. you're holding on to him so tightly, he doesn't even want to ask. Instead, he just looks at the mess of your living room filled with energy drinks and half eaten granola bars. "Baby, I know you were worried for me, but you really don't have to do... this." He looks back down at you with worried eyes just to be met with your sleeping face.

send me requests <33

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs smut #obsidian.!.#bsd dazai #bsd chuuya

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theflyindutchwoman · 1 month

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Hey! How are you holding up? Just finished the episode and I haven't really recovered. I am sad, I am frustrated, I don't really know what's happening? I thought they were mature and Tim is so dumb right now, I can't even.

And Lucy? I can't even start to imagine what she's going through. She has been so badass for the 5 seasons and this season she just gets fail after fail and loss after loss and doesn't even get a good job storyline.

So sorry I didn't reply sooner but I first wanted to take a little step back in order to fully digest the episode. As much as the waiting is killing me, I actually appreciate the hiatus for that. I imagine your feelings may have changed a bit as well since then… or that was the impression I got from our different conversations here and there. How are you feeling now? A bit better or still frustrated?

I'm going to start with Lucy. I was rewatching the beginning of season 5 and this is hitting even harder now. Not because of the pining era. But because the narrative was already showing her isolation back then. I couldn't quite put my finger on why her storyline in season 6 felt so familiar but now I get it. This is merely the continuation.

As we all noticed, the scene of Tim breaking up with her had a very similar vibe to the one at the end of 5.02. But think back of when she went to Nyla for advice about going to UC school, when she was trying to confide to Aaron who was too caught up in his own drama to hear her… or when she spent hours locked in a freezer because no one realised she was missing - besides Tim, that is. And then, there was the whole Rosalind thing where Lucy had to push through her own trauma to help Chris deal with his and help Bailey stay calm. But no one ever took the time to ask her how she was doing with all of this (on screen). They all had good reasons, by the way, this isn't me trying to paint them as the bad guys. But this still has an eerie similarity to what is happening right now. Only there has been no payoff for any of this. Yet. It didn't seem to go anywhere. Until now. Same with her career : she nailed UC Academy, something that was supposed to help her standout come promotion time… She helped the FBI on a raid, she was asked to be the acting Watch Commander, she was told that the whole station had her back… And yet, none of this paid off either. Yet. So this is a great opportunity to finally connect all the dots that have been dropped for the past two seasons and give Lucy the amazing arc she deserves. I sincerely hope this will be the case.

As for Tim… Look, the reason why I didn't want a breakup (besides the fact that I dislike this trope so much), is that I was afraid that it would cheapen the whole "worth the effort / worth the risk" speech. You can't say that and leave at the first difficulty without downplaying the whole story. So I'm glad that the writers were able to find a way to circumvent that issue by showing Tim completely unravelling. Because this isn't about him thinking Lucy is not worth the effort or the risk… This is about him thinking HE is not worthy of her. And that changes everything. For me, at least. I still get the frustration. I still wish this storyline would have been done with them sticking together and trying to work through it. But I can understand his perspective, why he thought this would be better for her. And I can see how that could make them stronger in the end. So, just like with Lucy, I hope Tim's arc will be treated properly and carefully. I need to see the payoff, the progress… I need to see them heal. Separately and then, together. It's always hard to see where a story is going when it is still unfolding… But for now, I choose to remain optimistic and hopeful. Does that help you even a tiny bit?

#thanks for the ask :) and again I apologise for not answering sooner!#ask & ye shall receive #the rookie #chenford #lucy chen #tim bradford

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majaloveschris · 8 months

Text

I need to vent a little.

Even though we had the Page Six article of Chrisba meeting Harry and Meghan and that Mark started following Justin, things had been relativly quiet. No big drama, no something that seemed too important. This morning I woke up to this whole Carlisle and IMDb thing, and I don't know why, but it's usually the Carlisle house and blurry pictures that make me realize how much I hate this whole situation. I'm just tired of it.

I made this account around April 2022, a year and a half ago. Looking back at it, it's crazy how things have changed. How all of us changed. How our view of Chris has changed.

My only goal with this blog was to share my opinion about this and my point of view. In the beginning, I think most people were confused about what's going on here and why everything was so weird. People were freaked out because of her age, and 16 years turned into racism, fatphobia, and people who support nazis.

We all said and still say it's going to get better, but when? I find myself not wanting to talk about this or deal with this whole situation, especially on those days when life feels too much for me. I don't want to argue with anyone; I don't want to argue whether the Carlisle house is his or if they are going to live there or not. I don't want to argue whether he was in a blurry picture or not. I don't want to argue whether they are real or not. I just don't anymore. I never wanted to convince people that I'm right or that I know what's going on, because I'm not. I only want to share my opinion; that's it, and sometimes people here make me want to leave much more than this weird whatevership does.

I'm just tired of them. Tired of their stupid followings, likes, and comments...Of their stupid stories filled with little signs and tired of them tiring to make this believable when they are clearly incapable of selling whatever this is. I'm tired of their games, and I'm surprised that they aren't tired of playing them. I'm tired that now even those who aren't involved are trying to "troll" the fandom for attention.

Whenever we think it's getting better, they just do something even worse, and it obviously has an effect on us. His actually being in love with her and wanting to spend the rest of his life with her (which seems very unlikely when you look at them) would mean he is okay with their values and that he agrees with them. I think I could "forgive" him for this being PR, but if he wants to actually be with her, I don't want to support that with my money and time.

There are always and will always be people who cross the line when it comes to their favorite celebrity, but this situation seems to get the worst out of everyone, of those who are directly and indirectly involved. Since the very first Las Vegas day, we have been shown that if you want to know what is actually going on, you need to look for clues. On videos, on pictures, among somebody's following list, or among those people who liked something, I know that now people say, Why do we even care about whom he dates? I didn't really care that much about them being real or not until her and her friends pasts came out. Up until that point, the only thing that bugged me about this whole thing was that Justin and Alba seemed to troll the fandom for attention, and I didn't like the way they tried to take advantage of Chris and his fandom.

Some people can't seem to understand the actual problem with him being connected to them. I don't want to support someone who is okay with the behavior of Alba and her friends. But it's hard to believe and seems impossible to me that the man we'd seen for 20+ years has never existed. He is not that good of an actor, and I don't think somebody would be able to play a role for decades.

I have a lot of movies with him in them that I love and want to rewatch, but this whole situation makes it really hard for me. I only see him. I see him when I look at Colin, or Andy, or Ransom, or Steve, or any of his characters. I miss that guy who was always smiling and laughing during an interview. I miss the guy who seemed happy and healthy. Right now he isn't even the shadow of his old self.

I don't want this to come across as me complaining. I know that nobody forces me to be here. I know that I could just delete this blog and go on with my life, but I like having my blogs. I like coming here and talking to my friends; I like seeing funny edits; and I like making funny edits. I would love to talk about his projects, make edits, and share photos and videos. I had so many things in mind prior to the whole wedding thing, which may always remain in my gallery and my drafts.

I will still continue with this blog, but I needed to write it down how I feel, because I think a lot of us feel this way. I'm staying; I'm not leaving because I need to know how this whole thing is going to end, and I still have some hope in him.

#maja's random thoughts #cevans-love

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russian-spider · 4 months

Text

I rewatched Richie and Tiff's scene from "fishes" today (the one they have in Donna's bedroom), after binging the show recently, and I realized I had overlooked something, because there was so much going on and it was exhausting. Something about Carmy. Richie and Tiff talk about him, how he made sprite for her, but instead of praising him, they just keep saying he's weird and why would you try to get him to date Claire when she's so nice. And even though I wish Richie had said something good about Carmy, I don't hold it against him because that's what their relationship was like then and we know how much he loves him. But I feel like, from the start, I had been taking Richie's side, in a way, because he was so funny and interesting to watch, he was this loser looking for a purpose and I could not not root for him. I was rooting for Carmy too, but when we met him he's already a big time chef, he's made it in the world, we know he's talented and successful and too good for the Beef. He's this man who Richie has known since forever that's younger than him but has achieved so much more and is now his boss, how can Richie not feel shitty about it? So, I watched the show hoping Richie would earn Carmy's respect, get some self-esteem back. But I think I got it wrong. I think he already had Carmy's respect, but Carmy didn't had his.

I believe that, when you grow up around someone, no matter how many years pass, you will always be who you were to them, and no matter how much you change, you will always regress a little when you're with them, back to that old dynamic. The Carmy we met is not the one Richie knows. His Carmy is shy and bad with people, lonely and artsy and different. He's Mikey's baby brother, always following him around and trying to get his attention. Always on the defensive, because they do give him a hard time (assholes). He's young, he's short, he's… weird (as if they're all so normal!) And Carmy's Richie is not this middle aged divorced man with nowhere to go. He's someone that became part of his family because Mikey of all people loved him so much. He was his best friend, his right hand man at the restaurant, always part of his stories. I believe when Carmy said "I always thought my brother was my best friend, except everybody thought he was their best friend" he was thinking of Richie specifically. How could he not be hurt by that? Richie had what Carmy wanted, and he could have simply hated him, but he saw his good qualities, the ones he was lacking ("he believes in you, he said you're good with people") He never rejected Richie the way he did Pete, for example. And it's different but it's the same because Pete's an outsider who became part of the family through (Natalie's) love, but they don't like him (which I think it's super unfair btw).

And what I didn't realize at first was that Carmy was also looking for Richie's approval, not just Mikey's. That's why when Richie judges him and calls him Donna in the finale it hurts him so much, not because how dares this loser lecture him, but because his opinion matters. He screams about how Richie is nothing without him and how much Richie needs him as a defense mechanism, because he's so afraid of not being needed by the people he loves and he needs Richie too (of course it makes him furious when Richie says it). Even in the first episode he's like "how fucking dope is that, cousin?" like did you see what I did? did you see how I brought all these clients to the restaurant? He insults him, but he listens to him, asks for his help, cares what he thinks. Meanwhile Richie scofs at Carmy's achievements, partly because they make him feel less than, and partly because this is Carmy, so how impressive can this really be? Just some pretentious shit he learned from people as pretentious and weird as him. Until "forks". Until he finds purpose in a place where Carmy is so respected that there's a picture of him framed. And later Richie tells him "I get it" and I thought 'how nice he finally understands what Carmy is trying to do and how they want the same thing now' but it's so much more than that. He finally gets the importance of what Carmy has done, how difficult it was, how amazing he is. For the first time he saw Carmy from the outside, not like the kid he knew but like we the audience see him, and understood. Maybe that helped with his self-esteem also, because having Carmy as his boss doesn't mean he's a loser, it means he works with the best.

Anyway, I hope at some point we get to see Richie defending Carmy when he hears someone talk shit about him, or just talk proudly about him to someone, maybe even to Tiff, to show his growth.

And I know Richie said "you're all I've got" and Carmy said nothing back and I felt so bad for Richie, but Carmy's just not used to that, he doesn't know how to react, because that is -was- not how they talk to each other. But he's trying so hard to not be shitty and to be there for the others while his mind is screaming at him that he's a failure and needs to give up joy if he wants to feel like he has value, because his self worth is so tied to his job that he'd choose it over love... Idk I think it's very important not only that Richie loves him, but that he values and respects him, because these are two very different things and Carmy isn't used to getting that from him. Mikey never told Carmy "good job" like he wanted so badly to hear, but Richie could.

#the bear #richie jerimovich #carmy berzatto #the bear fx #i'm going crazy thinking how all along richie had carmy's respect and carmy had richie's love #but carmy failed to show his love to richie and to open up emotionally and richie failed ro respect him until the last part of the season

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fandomtrashhh · 1 year

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Updated for Episode 12

So I did a thing. I went back to every episode of The Winchesters and I wrote down everything that Dean has said so far, and I realized moreso than before how EVERYTHING he says not only is the lesson/theme of the episode, but it all also applies to himself. Also, I'm not sure if other people realize this because not everyone is into classic rock as I am, (many of the songs are rock songs) but all the songs also match what the episodes are about. Let's start with episode 1.

Sorry if I overlooked something or for any mistakes, I did not rewatch every episode to make this.

I also apologize for how long this is. If I knew how to add the "read more" on this post I totally would.

Major spoilers for all episodes of the Winchesters ahead!!!

Episode 1, "Pilot": March 3rd, 1972. The day Dad came home from the war, and the day he met Mom. Now I know this story might sound familiar, but I'm gonna put the pieces together in a way that just might surprise you. And in order to do that, I have to start all the way at the beginning.

Obviously, Dean is just starting the story. He tells us this is when John and Mary are going to meet, and he's also foreshadowing what's to come. This is why I have high hopes for this show, because Dean says so in the beginning that even though you think you might know everything, there's really more to the story.

Dean also narrated at the very end of the episode:

What they didn't know is that the Akrida weren't just a threat to Earth, but to all of existence. Now, like I told you, there's gonna be some surprises. Hell, I'm still trying to find all the puzzle pieces myself. But I'll explain everything. And until then, I'll keep picking the music.

Also something to note is that this is the only episode that has a non music related title. I'm 100% sure that if it did have a song related title, it would be "I'd Love to Change the World" by Ten Years After. The beginning, when Dean is first narrating and while John is holding the letter that Dean gave him and pretty much up to the point where John and Mary run into each other, that song is playing. Then at the very end of the episode, when we see Dean in the flesh, it's playing again. I find this VERY interesting, especially since the music applies to everything in this show. This leads me to believe that Dean really is trying to change something because the song literally says "I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do, so I'll leave it up to you." (The song also mentions bees, which I thought was interesting. That could be nothing, though.)

Episode 2 "Teach Your Children Well": The ties that bind a family together can be complicated. Parents raise you, teach you what's right and wrong, and in some instances, how to kill monsters. But no matter who you are, there comes a time when you have to break from them and make your own way. And if you're not careful, things can get pretty ugly.

“Teach Your Children Well” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. Let me show you some of the lyrics:

“You, who are on the road

Must have a code that you can live by

And so, become yourself

Because the past is just a goodbye

Teach your children well

Their father's hell did slowly go by

And feed them on your dreams

The one they pick's the one you'll know by

Don't you ever ask them, "Why?"

If they told you, you would cry

So just look at them and sigh

And know they love you”

A big theme in this episode is parents, the guy who goes missing at the beginning for one, but mostly about John’s parents. John and Millie argue over John hunting and all around the episode is about kids forging their own paths and how it can cause issues which I feel like can definitely apply to Dean and how he discovers his identity away from his father and how the things his father put them through were wrong and how that caused issues.

Episode 3 "You’re Lost Little Girl": There's no map to being a hunter. No playbook. You gotta follow your gut. But that can only take you so far. Truth is, you can't do it all on your own. You need other people to help guide the way-- your friends, your family. Otherwise you just end up lost.

“You’re Lost Little Girl” is by The Doors. Some lyrics:

“You're lost little girl

You're lost little girl

You're lost, tell me who

Are you?

Think that you know what to do

Impossible? Yes, but it's true

I think that you know what to do

Yeah

Sure that you know what to do”

In this episode, Mary gets taken by a monster and everyone is trying to find her. Mary thinks that she doesn’t need anyone to help her because she’s a good hunter, but she ends up needing them to save her. It’s the same with Dean, Dean is an amazing hunter, but he still needs his friends and his family.

Episode 4, "Masters of War": Fighting the battle between good and evil isn't easy, especially when the first monster you have to face is the one inside yourself.

“Masters of War” is by Bob Dylan.

The lyrics for this song are very meaningful and well done. To put it simply, it’s about war and criticism of war.

“You fasten all the triggers

For the others to fire

Then you sit back and watch

When the death count gets higher

You hide in your mansion

While the young people's blood

Flows out of their bodies

And is buried in the mud”

In this episode, John and Carlos talk about their trauma from the Vietnam War and we really get an insight to how much anger John has in him. John is Dean’s parallel in this episode because Dean has a lot of unresolved trauma and deep rooted anger that is mentioned in Supernatural and it also fits because Dean was used as a weapon in a war against the supernatural from a young age.

Episode 5, "Legacy of a Mind": Spending a lifetime of hunting monsters takes its toll. There comes a time when you gotta let out that pain inside you. If you don't, it'll eat you alive.

The song “Legacy of a Mind” is by The Moody Blues

“He'll fly his astral plane

Takes you trips around the bay

Brings you back the same day”

This can be applied to what happens in this episode where Mary is stuck in her own head and has to face her trauma, and this song pretty much talks about trippy things like the lyrics above.

This applies so well to the episode because this episode deals with the complicated relationship that Mary has with her parents and her dealing with the trauma she has with being trained to be a hunter from a very young age and how it was wrong of them to do that to her, but she still loves her parents. This also applies to Dean, since John taught him about hunting from a young age, the same way Samuel and Deanna did to Mary. Mary is once again the Dean parallel, like she often is in this show.

Episode 6 "Art of Dying": Hunting has a way of changing a person. After a while, right, wrong, good, evil, they all start to look the same. And then it makes you start to wonder, "Who's really the monster here -- them or me?"

This is the only other episode where Dean narrated at the end:

Hunting's not for everyone. You have to be strong, stay sharp, make tough decisions, and it's not easy, but then again, the righteous things never are.

The Art of Dying is by George Harrison:

"There'll come a time when all of us must leave here

Then nothing sister Mary can do

Will keep me here with you

As nothing in this life that I've been trying

Could equal or surpass the art of dying

Do you believe me?"

and then the end of the song goes:

"There'll come a time when most of us return here

Brought back by our desire to be

A perfect entity

Living through a million years of crying

Until you've realized the art of dying

Do you believe me?"

This episode the core four finds a case involving an older hunter buddy of Mary's and it turns out that the monster is the ghost of the hunter's friend who the hunter friend and her group killed because he went too dark in magic. That's how the episode applies to Dean's monologue, along with Lata's fear of turning into someone horrible and letting her anger control her. John also (kinda) confronts his anger in this episode. The monologue also talks about how being a hunter is hard, but doing the right thing never is, which also applies to the characters of this episode, especially Lata. This applies to Dean because he really dealt with feelings like that during SPN, and being angry all the time and feeling like he was a monster, and how he always chooses to do the right thing when it comes down to saving the world, even when it's near impossible to.

Episode 7 "Reflections": There comes a time in every hunt when the fightin' starts. And the difference between winning and losing isn't whether you have the holy water, the wooden stake, or the silver bullet. It's whether you've got the grit to get the job done.

Reflections is by the Supremes:

"Through the mirror of my mind

Through all these tears that I'm crying

Reflects a hurt I can't control

Although you're gone

I keep holding on

To those happy times

Oh, girl when you were mine

As I peer through the windows

Of lost time

Keeping looking over my yesterdays

And all the love I gave all in vain

(All the love) All the love

That I've wasted

(All the tears) All the tears

That I've tasted

All in vain

Through the hollow of my tears

I see a dream that's lost

From the hurt baby

That you have caused"

I think this one represents loss, especially the loss of Henry. Dean's monologue ties into this because in this episode there are multiple instances where the characters show real strength and bravery in order to come out the other side with a win. And this can obviously be applied to Dean and everything he has done and hunted and how brave he had to be to be able to actually get the job done.

Episode 8, "Hang on to Your Life”: Being a hunter, it means living a life of sacrifice-- not a lot of room for dreams. But if you open your heart and get a little lucky, you'll find you gain more than you lose.

Hang On To Your Life is by Guess Who:

“Thinking 'bout it's here and it's real

Wondering how I really should feel

Well you can sell your soul

But don't you sell it too cheap

Hang on to your life, oh life, oh life, oh life, oh life

Hang on to your life

Thinking 'bout betraying a friend

Thinking 'bout delaying the end

Well you can ride the wind

But don't you ride it too high”

This episode is about Carlos’ dream of being a musician and how he had to give that up when he became a hunter. The parts about selling his soul and betraying a friend applies to the band member that Carlos used to play with and how he accidentally made a deal and because he “betrayed” Carlos by selling him out to Loki.

Dean’s monologue applies to the theme of found family in this episode. Even though they’re all a part of this life and had to give up their dreams, there is good that came from it in the form of family and friends, the same way that Dean found himself a family in the midst of it all. This is also the episode where John and Mary decided to get together, again proving that they can find something worthwhile, right before they found the picture of Dean. (Insert Miranda Cosgrove meme)

Episode 9 "Cast Your Fate to the Wind": This isn't how I saw things going when I pushed over that first domino. Thing is, I've had more than a few dances with free will and fate, but as my dad used to say, "Fate is what you make it."

The song here is actually a song that I didn’t know. It’s a jazz song by Vince Guaraldi. Honestly, reading the lyrics to this song make me think SO MUCH of John and who he becomes, and I’m actually going to put in the entire lyrics because I can’t chose one section that I feel is most important:

“A month of nights, a year of days

Octobers drifting into Mays

I set my sail when the tide comes in

And I just cast my fate to the wind

I shift my course along the breeze

Won't sail up wind on memories

The empty sky is my best friend

And I just cast my fate to the wind

That time has a way of changing a man throughout the years

And now I’m rearranging my life through all my tears

Alone, alone, alone

There never was, there couldn't be

A place in time for men like me

Who'd drink the dark and laugh at day

And let their wildest dreams blow away

That time has a way of changing a man throughout the years

And now I’m rearranging my life through all my tears

Alone, alone, alone

So now I’m old, I’m wise, I’m smart

I’m just a man with half a heart

I wonder how it might have been

Had I not cast my fate to the wind

To the wind, to the wind”

Like, come on. This is so John coded in who he becomes and what happens to him. In terms of how this song applies to the episode though, it applies to the theme of fate throughout the episode, which ties in with what Dean says at the beginning. “Fate is what you make it.” This speaks true to John in this episode because he uses the knowledge of his death to his advantage and makes his own fate, which Millie uses the “fate is what you make it” line. I find this episode very interesting because they use the theme of fate in an episode that deals with vampires, and has a whole scene that parallels 15x18 AND Carlos gets to kiss his male love interest. Dean’s monologue at the beginning applies to himself because he’s dealt with fate and free will plenty of times in Supernatural.

I also find it interesting that Dean said that this isn't how he saw things going when he pushed over that first domino, which begs the question of what did he expect? What was his goal in doing all of this? It's also worth noting that immediately after he says that he says "fate is what you make it," saying the two apply to each other, go hand in hand. I don't think it's a stretch to say that whatever his intentions were, whatever he did, had to do with controlling his own fate.

So, just to recap: in an episode where the two main characters are dealing with being in a new relationship and whether or not they want to tell people, one of those main characters dies from a vampire in a direct parallel to the 15x18 confession, and two men have an on screen kiss for the first time, and the entire theme of the episode is fate. That's VERY interesting to me.

Episode 10 "Suspicious Minds": Hunting and happy endings don't usually mix, so when you get your chance, you got to ask yourself, "How far will I go to get it?"

This can be read as a direct tie in to his monologue in the last episode! It's along the same lines!!

Something I've noticed is that each episode I feel like the monologues get deeper and more meaningful, the farther we go the more is revealed.

This Dean monologue ends right as John and Mary get interrupted while they're kissing and Mary says "normal will have to wait another day" while there's a close up of Mary's college application as a mirror to SPN 15x20 with Dean's job application. Something I thought was interesting.

Suspicious Minds is an Elvis Presley song, which I know that the trend here is to include 60's and 70's songs, but knowing the intense meaning of Elvis in the Destiel fandom makes me feel a little unwell knowing Elvis actually gets incorporated into the text.

"Oh, let our love survive

I'll dry the tears from your eyes

Let's don't let a good thing die

When honey, you know I've never lied to you

Mmm, yeah, yeah

We're caught in a trap

I can't walk out

Because I love you too much, baby

Why can't you see

What you're doing to me

When you don't believe a word I say?"

So this is very much talking about one of the big plot points of this episode, a man who tries to bring his dead wife back to life in such desperation that he's willing to kill innocents to do it. Now the parallels drawn in this episode are very intentional to both John and Mary, even including the dialogue they speak after they kill said man and how John thinks that's love and Mary thinks it's horrible and she essentially makes him promise that that will never be them (clear foreshadowing) when in reality, even though it's showing that John already had the mindset of "doing it out of love" as he does in the future, they're both guilty of that. Mary brings John back to life when Azazel kills him, and as we all know, after Mary's death John goes on a revenge mission, wasting his life and putting his children through hell in the process. It's also just a running theme throughout SPN of toxic codependency and how almost every major character is also guilty of going to great lengths to bring the ones they love back. The song lyrics also apply to John and Mary as a romantic relationship as well and can show how their relationship is now and foreshadow what will happen in the future.

The thing that is different about this episode though, is that even though the parallels in this episode can apply to Dean, the actual Dean monologue doesn't, and this is what I find really weird and what I think is honestly one of the biggest indications that Jensen really is writing a fix it fanfiction:

This is the only episode where his monologue doesn't directly apply to himself. Every other episode ties in to his own experiences, except for this one. Dean doesn't go to great lengths to get himself a happy ending. Happy endings for other characters? Absolutely. But not for himself. Why would this be the only episode that doesn't directly relate to him? Well me and a lot of other people think because it really does apply to himself. But not as something he experienced in the past or has knowledge on, but as something he is doing right now. He is actively changing his future, possibly even a future with Cas (I do really think that there's a solid possibility that Destiel will become 100% canon in this show because of how everything is being set up, all of the parallels, and the fact that some of the cast, the social media team, and an executive producer has acknowledged some of these said parallels.) So in the end, how far will Dean go to get his happy ending?

Episode 11 "You've Got a Friend": Being a hunter means always being on the move. But no matter how hard you plan, no matter how hard you work, at a certain point, we all run out of road. It's what we do with those crossroads that define us.

"You've Got a Friend" is a song by Carole King from 1971:

"When you're down and troubled

And you need some lovin' care

And nothin', nothin' is goin' right

Close your eyes and think of me

And soon I will be there

To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name

And you know, wherever I am

I'll come runnin'

To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there

You've got a friend"

This represents Betty, and how in this episode she goes from being a potential source of trouble for the gang to becoming an ally, or a "friend" and an inside woman for them. This also can be applied to Carlos and Lata because Carlos was there for Lata and helped support her while Lata told Carlos about her childhood trauma.

In this episode, Dean's monologue is about the choices you make before you die. This can be seen in the choices made throughout this episode by multiple characters (Betty, Mary, John, etc) and this ties in with the song because no matter what choices you make, you'll have your friends by your side, which is true to Dean and just Supernatural as whole with their message of family and found family. Admittedly, I feel like the connection to Dean's voiceover and to the title of this episode aren't as strong as a lot of the previous episodes, but they're still there. (Betty, the "friend," makes a choice to work with the rest of the gang.) At the same time, I believe this can also be another instance of foreshadowing because Dean is dead, he's at that metaphorical cross road, and he's making a choice to go into the past.

As I said above, Lata faced her trauma. This is the 4th or 5th instance of someone on this show confronting their past. At this point, it's become a theme. Why would the show reiterate this point over and over? I think this will tie into Dean's reasons for why he's in the 70's. Not to mention this was yet ANOTHER episode where 2 characters are trapped in a room, and this time because of a shadow monster, and the only way to get out is if one confesses a deep secret. What the fuck.

Something to keep in mind is how much this episode emphasized secrets. This seems to foreshadow the fact that Dean is harboring some huge secrets that will soon be discovered. I think the real question now is how will these secrets be revealed to the audience and to our characters?

Episode 12 "The Tears of a Clown": Hunting is a dishonest business. You lie about who you are, and what you do. But the hardest lies aren't what you tell other people, but what you tell yourself."

The song "The Tears of a Clown" was released in 1967 by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles:

"Now if there's a smile on my face

It's only there trying to fool the public

But when it comes down to fooling you

Now honey that's quite a different subject

But don't let my glad expression

Give you the wrong impression

Really I'm sad, oh I'm sadder than sad

You're gone and I'm hurting so bad

Like a clown I appear to be glad (sad, sad, sad, sad)"

Okay, so this episode gave me a lot of brainrot. What the song is expressing is that even if you seem happy, that doesn't mean you are, and that was the big theme of this episode. Just because you seem okay or even think you're okay, that doesn't mean you are. With John, that applies to his anger issues and his unresolved issues with being charged for a murder he didn't commit. For Mary, it's the issues she already has, plus being unhappy in her relationship with John because she thinks he's using their relationship as an escape, and this also applies to her because even though she got accepted into college, she hadn't really taken any steps towards a normal life since then. In general, this episode was about a clown who lures emotionally vulnerable people into his circus tent so he can force them to be "happy" even though they aren't, like we saw with Roger.

This can very much apply to Dean's voice over, because the characters in this episode, including the clown, are actively lying to themselves.

The thing is, like a lot of Dean's voice overs, it's intentionally vague. He could be referring to literally anything. In the context of this episode, it makes the most sense that this is referring to Dean's anger issues and the fact that throughout the entirety of Supernatural, Dean oftentimes told himself and the people around him that he was okay, even though he wasn't. But at the same time, these voice overs and one like this in particular can be interpreted in different ways. What Dean says about facing the lies you tell yourself can apply to sexuality. Dean could be talking about not only his mental and emotional issues, but he could also be referencing being in love with Cas. At this point, Destiel happening feels like genuine build up. Now all we have to do is wait a couple more days to see if it all pays off.

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augustofc · 15 days

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Korra x Fem!Reader <3

Pairings: Korra x Fem reader

Warnings: 18+ !!Minors DNI!!

Word count: 3k+ (longer than anticipated 💀)

Notes: I'm really jumping in head first... This is my first ever story (if you can even call it that) I'm posting public and it's smut. Yay me. Anyways, I know my writing style isn't for everyone and if you have any kind of CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, please share. I have actually no idea how to use this app though sooooo.... Also, I know LOK is one of the older fandoms but I was rewatching it and I'm obsessed (again) anyways enough yapping, here ya go you thirsty fuckers <3

Korra was losing it.

She had been at sea for almost a year, helping out a friend of hers and it was killing her. The merciless thrashing of the rickety old boat, the smell of fish and bad hygiene and the fact that she was incredibly lonely was driving her crazy. Despite the whole crew of workers and shipmen, she felt isolated. Miserable. All she could think about? You. Your beautiful (color) eyes and the way your hair was effortlessly perfect no matter how intense, brutal and merciless the day had been towards you. And don't even get her started on that sweet, kind gaze of yours.

Just thinking about you made her heart swell as if she were standing on a cliff, parachute cord in hand and she loved it. What she didn't love, however, was how far she was from you. Hundreds of miles of vast blue ocean kept her from the person she loved most. It was almost too much to bear. It had been so long since you had said goodbye. So long since she had felt your warm hands in her cold ones, felt your gaze on her skin, smelled your perfume. Tasted your li-

Her thoughts were interrupted just in the nick of time, saving her from having to deal with the sensitivity pooling between her legs had her thoughts continued down the path they were headed. The thing that had pulled her from her individual paradise? The boat's horn which signaled they were docking. Korra almost sobbed in delight when she saw just where they were docking. It was the island she had departed from in the first place, the island where you resided. She hadn't even realized where she was headed until she saw the island.

She was the first one off of the ship, nearly tackling civilians with the force of a NFL quarterback as she bolted through the busy streets. She knew where she was going, she could find your house even if she were blind. She owed her thanks to all the times she snuck off and climbed through your window at the dead of night just to escape it all. She would knock a special little pattern so you didn't even have to bother asking who it was. She'd climb through the window and sigh in relief. Every. Single. Time. Like clockwork.

At first she'd act as if it was just a casual hang out between friends but then came the ranting. She would tell you absolutely everything; from what she had for breakfast to how much pressure that came with being the avatar. Having the whole world rely on her to save and protect them wasn't easy baggage to carry. What a load for just one girl in her early twenties. Her visits were routine for the both of you at that point. You loved listening and it was nice for her to be able to let her strong facade fall- even if it was just for a moment. But none of that mattered now. All that mattered was the fact that Korra could see your house in the distance, her heart swelling as she conjured a ball of wind to carry her faster than her feet could move.

Even though she was zooming through the town, earning concerned or intrigued glances by its inhabitants, it still wasn't fast enough for Korra who had been waiting to see you for longer than she would like to think about. Finally, after what felt like hours, she finally arrived at your humble yet cozy home. Wasting no time, she walked over to her signature window and thought about performing her signature knock but decided to leave her visit as a surprise and pick the lock instead. She climbed inside and perched on your bed, listening intently for any kind of footsteps.

Her ears pricked up like a dog when she heard you singing that same little tune which she had always wondered where it had originated. Your sweet voice was wafting through the air as you rummaged through the kitchen. Growing ever impatient, Korra blew a waft of air from her lungs, knocking down one of your books from the shelf before running into the closet. Hearing the unusual sound, you made your way to your bedroom to seek out the source.

Your eyes landed on the book that was currently out of place and you picked it up, brushing it off and straightening a few pages before placing it back on the shelf. Korra moved silently. Like a ninja– except she was wearing bright blue. She cleared her throat as she stood tall and excited, eager to see your face and feel your gaze on hers. When you finally turned around, everything was a blur. Next thing Korra knew; she was on the floor with a thumping head and a bump to match.

“Korra!? Oh my god I'm so sorry! I thought you were an intruder! Although you kind of are, seeing as you broke in through my window– but I didn't mean to hit you!” You spoke, remorse and guilt prominent in your voice as you threw the object responsible for the bump on Korra's forehead to the floor; a frying pan that luckily hadn't been on the burner yet. The pan landed with a loud clink on the hardwood as you fell to your knees next to Korra. When Korra began to laugh, you became even more worried. Maybe you had accidentally given her brain damage..?

Korra looked up at you and you could swear you saw a couple tears of relief well in her eyes before retreating. Strong arms enveloped you in an almost suffocating hug, dragging you down to the floor along with her. You couldn't help but let out a small giggle, happily returning the hug and moving your body as close as it could possibly get. The two of you stayed like that for what felt like hours before you finally sat up and used your waterbending to conjure a small ice cube, placing it on the bubble on Korra's forehead.

“Yknow, you really shouldn't sneak up on someone like that. This is what you get.” You joked, giggling softly as you helped the swelling go down. Korra just rolled her eyes. “How was I supposed to know you were gonna hit me with a frying pan?” This caused the both of you to explode in laughter at the sheer dumbness of the situation. Once you had caught your breath, you tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “What are you doing here? I thought you wouldn't be back for a couple more months?” You asked, a slight smile painted on your face.

Korra shrugged before getting off of the ground and brushing herself off. She reached a hand down and you took it without hesitation. You barely even had to move as your brown haired lover did all the work, yanking you to your feet as if you weighed no more than a baby penguin. You landed against her muscular chest with a soft oof sound, pressing your palm flat against her as you looked up into her crystal blue eyes. Before you could pull away, her slightly chapped lips landed on yours, sucking the breath right out of you.

Months of yearning, of desperation all built up had dug their way inside of the avatar and made the kiss their escape plan. This resulted in you quickly being enveloped by her strong body, trapping you between her chest and arms, forcing you to rise to your tiptoes just to reach her. Your arms wrapped around her neck with not nearly as much force and strength as hers. You were suffocating and you loved it. She devoured your lips like a starving predator who had been teased with a slab of juicy meat for the past year.

When she finally loosened up and allowed you to pull away, you were panting, your face about 10 shades redder than its previous color. “Wow…” was all you could muster out and you couldn't help but tighten your lips at how pathetic and breathless you sounded. Korra just giggled, pressing her soft lips against your temple.

"Sorry I've just... You have no idea how much I've missed you."

“Judging by that kiss? I'd say you missed me a lot.”

Your comment earned a soft flick to your forehead but before you could make another sarcastic comment her lips landed on your collar and any kind of witty remark you had planned to say suddenly turned insignificant and flluttered out of your train of thought.

Your hands found their way to the back of her head, tangling in her shaggy brown hair as if they had a mind of their own. Her name blew through you in a single breath, granting a satisfied hmm? from her as she moved her lips against your skin. She lifted your body with ease, placing you gently on the bed as if you were a precious piece of glass. She maneuvered her body to rest above yours, supporting herself on her hands which rested on each side of your head.

How did things escalate so quickly? You asked yourself. Not that you were complaining. Quite the contrary actually.

You couldn't help but wonder how you had managed to make someone like her fall for you. She was absolutely beautiful from her ocean blue eyes, silky hair and perfect body all the way to her braveness and selflessness. Everything about her was enough to make you swoon on the spot and here she was, the avatar, hovering above you as if you were the whole world in her hands, admiring you with lidded eyes and mouth slightly parted as she took in the sight before her.

You hadn't realized it, but you yourself weren't making this any easier for her either with the way you were staring up at her. You had this…innocent look on your face that went right in direct contrast with the way your body responded to her touch, the way you made those soft little gasps and moans every time her lips found a new sweet spot. She knew your body like the back of her hand. Every bundle of nerves, every little spot that- when kissed in the right way, pushed you right over the edge. You were sitting in the palm of her hand and you wouldn't have it any other way.

Korra resumed her previous actions but progressed them by slipping her tongue past your plump lips, entangling it with yours as you let out soft breaths only for them to be lost in the kiss. Hot breaths and eager lips further warmed the kiss and when you felt her leg slip in between yours, you practically came undone right at that simple yet effective movement. You clutched her closer, growing impatient. Skilled hands unbuttoned your blouse, throwing it to an unimportant corner of the bedroom as she admired your smooth chest for the first time in months.

She took her time with you. Stopping at every birthmark, every dent in your skin and peppering light kisses over it before unclasping your bra and taking one of your rosy buds into her mouth. You let out a shaky fuck. As your hands pulled on her hair ever so slightly. Korra couldn't leave your other bud out, could she? So she took the other one between her thumb and pointer, rolling it back and forth and continuing her motions on the other. She knew how this got to you and soon enough you were arching against her, grinding your hips against her knee as she smirked against your skin.

“Someone's eager~” she teased with a devious grin. You turned your head to the side, a shade of red growing on your cheeks. “You're the one that started this.” You responded. You were always known for your sarcastic remarks and that's one of the many things Korra loved about you. She giggled softly as she continued her journey down your ethereal body. At least, it was ethereal to her. She made her way to your legs, peppering kisses along your inner thighs, courtesy of your skirt. She rolled the fabric up, completely exposing your most secretive parts.

Korra grazed her teeth against your skin, causing you to gasp and instinctively close your legs around her head. She clicked her tongue as a teacher would before parting your legs once again and holding them in place. Her kisses grew sloppier as they moved up to that place where she had been dreaming about for months. She placed a kiss on your panties, the thin fabric not putting up much of a fight nor offering up adequate protection to your sensitive nub. All of this, she knew, of course.

The brunette chuckled at your reaction, relishing in how sensitive you were, just as she remembered. She began pulling down your panties, inch by agonizing inch until you were left with nothing but your skirt which was tangled in itself at this point. That had to go too. Your clothes lay scattered throughout your bedroom but that was insignificant. All that mattered to you now was your brown haired, blue eyed lover who was tying her hair up in a messy ponytail as she gazed down at you with a certain intense hunger only she could possess.

That first lick along your aching core always sent shivers down your spine and your hands flying down to grasp at her hair, usually earning a teasing remark such as “so responsive~” which didn't help very much with easing your growing arousal. When her first finger traced a gentle circle around your clit, your legs jerked and attempted to squeeze together once again but they were not allowed. Korra was being too slow. She was savoring the moment, yes, but maybe she was savoring it a bit too much. You groaned and tugged her closer, hoping she'd get the message.

She did.

Without warning, she plunged a finger into the depths of your core causing your back to arch off of the plush mattress below. “This is what you wanted, isn't it?” She asked with a raise of her brow but you were too lost in the feeling of her finger curling against a certain bundle of nerves to even think about uttering a response. Just the way she liked it. She added a second digit, further stretching you out as she continued her previous motions. Every curl of her fingers, every sloppy kiss or word of praise pushed you further and further towards the edge.

She pressed her textured tongue flat against your clit, earning a strangled gasp and a pull at her hair from you. She hummed against you, sending vibrations up all the right places as her fingers grew even bolder. Her tongue flicked over your clit again, and you were ashamed of the whimper– almost cry that erupted from your throat as you felt your climax inch ever closer. You called out her name but your voice just came out as some sort of croak. “Shhh…it's okay. Just relax princess, I've got you~” She cooed and it would have been wholesome if she wasn't currently scrambling your insides with three of her thick fingers.

She lapped at your folds with a certain intensity, a certain hunger as if she was starving and you were the only source of food around for miles. She pushed her fingers as deep as they could go and within seconds, you were coming undone around her. Your chest heaved up and down as you yanked your lover up so she was face to face with you before pressing your lips against her wet ones and tasting yourself in her saliva. She pulled away with a huff. “Can I try something?” She asked. You would have panicked slightly but something in her eyes comforted you before you could even attempt to overthink the situation.

“What kind of thing?”

“You'll see~”

And with that, she ran into the kitchen and hurried back with a cup of water. “What are you gonna do with that?” Korra just gave you an almost frightening look of excitement as she placed the cup down and began undressing. You raised a brow but decided to help her strip anyway. “God, So. Many. Layers.” You huffed, peeling away layer after layer of cloth like one of those Christmas present pranks. "Sorry..." She muttered in response with a small giggle and no real guilt behind her words. You were extremely relieved when you finally got to see your lover's bare skin. But before you could finish admiring her, you were pushed onto your back. The avatar began bending the water from the cup as she looked down at you with a smirk. Before you could question anything, you felt an incredibly cold and hard object press into your core.

You gasped loudly and looked down to see that Korra had bent the water into a phallic object and was currently pushing it into you as well as herself. You looked up to see her biting her lip as she felt the same sensations as you. Once both of you had met in the middle of the ice shape, she began rocking her hips slightly. You whispered out her name as she pushed all the way inside of you, leaning down to press your bare chests together. F-fuck… she whispered into your ear. The sound of her arousal sent blood rushing between your legs as you wrapped your arms and legs around her, pulling her closer.

The two of you gripped each other close as the sounds of your pleasure mixed, molding into one. Her brows furrowed as she let out small moans. Her hips grew faster, more erratic as she chased her own orgasm and soon enough she was on the cusp.

“I'm- fuck…almost there.”

“Me… me too. Don't stop”

The two of you froze in place, both meeting at the top and feeling your highs at the same time. Korra gave one final thrust before turning the ice- which had dwindled significantly in size- back into water and placed it back into the cup along with all other loose drops and puddles of the water. She collapsed onto you, chest heaving up and down as she held you close.

“F-fuck. I missed this– missed you. So. Much.” She said, punctuating each word with a soft kiss in different spots on your face. You giggled and held her close, relishing in the sensation of her soft and muscular body against yours.

“I can't believe you just fucked me with water.”

“Well, judging from the way you were moaning? I'd say you liked it.”

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jinxquickfoot · 7 months

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So I finished my Age of Ultron rewatch. It's been a couple of years since I last saw it, and here are some random thoughts I had on it:

Things I will maintain I like about this movie:

It has some of my favorite jokes in the MCU, and they're usually the little moments. The little nod of validation Rhodey makes after getting a laugh at his "Boom! You looking for this?" story. Clint telling Steve he's no match for Ultron and Steve replying with, "Thanks, Barton". Clint's "Yeah, you better run" after Pietro has long since disappeared with Wanda, there are loads of them.

I like Vision, Wanda and Pietro. Despite being secondary characters with not a huge amount of screen time, Wanda and Pietro feel like real people with real backstories, and Paul Bettany is wonderful the first time we see him as Vis.

It's the only movie we get to see the Original 6 hang out as friends.

I love that Fury randomly shows up in the middle and is like "let me make a sandwich while we discuss how not to let the world end also by the way hi Tony I really care about you"

Other casual appearances of other MCU characters, something that is so lacking Phase 4 onwards. Sam being at the party and Thor going to Selvig for help makes the world feel lived in.

RDJ's never dropped the ball as Tony but his performance really stuck out to me here, god he's good

Steve and Thor have multiple moments of teaming up and working together, what an underrated duo

Hulk vs Iron Man suit inside an Iron Man Suit fight

The Avengers do their best to evacuate Sokovia before Ultron attacks, which does not excuse the amount of damage caused there, but I do think is a plot point everyone forgets about (myself included)

And things that annoy me (skipping over the stuff everyone talks about like the Natasha/Bruce plot):

I hate how Joss Whedon writes Steve, both here and in Avengers. He only feels like Steve when he's being given jokes, otherwise he is so self-serious and stiff, the core of Steve is his heart and it is nowhere to be found in this movie

The movie spends so long setting up character arcs that feel promising and have no payoff. What is the point of Laura telling Clint the Avengers need him if he's going to retire at the end of the movie. Steve has several references to finding home in a way that doesn't go anywhere (Until Endgame, I guess). Don't get me started on Natasha.

It's trying so hard to have a theme but it never says anything unique. Bruce, Tony, Natasha and Vision all refer to themselves as monsters. Ultron decides that the Avengers are the bad guys. Steve has a speech all about proving they're not the monsters Ultron says they are. Based on WHAT? What is the message of this movie?? That the Avengers are better than the evil AI who wants to kill everyone?

(I half-feel there was a previous draft where Clint was their heart, or something, or he died and they were like whelp Phil Coulson 2.0 let's go avenge him, and the random pieces of that are still floating around the script with nowhere to go)

NO ONE is remotely concerned enough when their friends are getting hurt (maybe just the hurt/comfort lover in me, but still.) Natasha comes across as the only person who cares when Clint sustains a life-threatening injury. No one seems to be bothered that Natasha is being held captive by a psychotic supervillain. Tony shows more emotion over a fictional future where they die than when someone is actually in danger.

They really could have had a premise where they weren't allowed to access technology at all and could have gone retro with everything and they didn't and that just feels like a wasted opportunity. Clint and Natasha digging out old spy tech. Steve being like "Yes! This is familiar! I got this!" Tony making genius inventions out of tech from fifty years ago. Come on, it was right there.

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #age of ultron #mcu #marvel #avengers #thoughts

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leupagus · 3 months

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Three-Legged Puppy Fics

List five of your least-popular fics, as well as when/why you wrote them.

Home to the Weary: Merlin, Gwen/Morgana, 2010.

I wrote this at the request of a friend who wanted, I think, something Gwen-centric. Because I was not a fan of the show I decided to focus on an AU in which Gwen backflipped out of that whole situation and founded her own sort of kingdom, only meeting the terrible trio years later. It was really fun and was the first time I'd ever tried writing a fic that hinted at a larger world going on around the characters, if that makes sense. This one's a little pretentious but you can definitely see my "style" as it were.

Treads on the Ground: Babylon (not the sci-fi show, the short-lived british cop show), Liz Garvey/Finn Kirkwood, 2022.

This was written during my Bertie Carvel phase where I'd watched "Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell" and was desperate for something, anything, that didn't have him wearing terrible prosthetics or playing a psycho. He still sort of plays a psycho in this show, but he looks super hot and angry all the time which is really all I needed. (Also bonus hilarity: Liz's boyfriend in this show is played by none other than James Lance, playing "louche asshole" to the absolute hilt.) Anyway I wrote this because I really wanted a fake dating AU for these two AND a "Finn is secretly in line to the throne" fic and this was the perfect way to combine these two. I'm still legitimately really proud of thsi fic.

The Bright Relief: 1776 musical, John Adams & Thomas Jefferson (and a little bit of / in there, if I'm honest), 2010.

I wrote this because my friends waldorph and screamlet and I were having the Summer of 1776 Feelings and we all wrote various (wonderful) crimes and misdemeanors in that fandom, mostly revolving all the ways in people who love John Adams make fun of him. That was a truly terrible summer but made a whole lot better by those two, and by William Daniels being the most John Adams to ever John Adams. (I actually rewatched the miniseries a few months ago and Paul Giamatti does a great job but that thing is SO DREARY. Although I will say Stephen Dillane first caught my eye in the role of TJeff, aka once again playing a guy who's down real bad for someone smarter than him (in this case both Abigail AND John). The scene where he first meets Abigail is just nonstop flirting, with John making faces in the background. It's great.)

Happy Tails To You (Until We Meet Again): SGA, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, 2009.

Oh lordy — probably the worst fic I've ever written, but I can't quite bring myself to delete it. I've been on the periphery of fandom for most of my adult life (what up X-Files yahoo groups and Prodigy Star Trek RP rooms), but SGA was what made me start thinking of writing fic after a long period of only reading it. (Yes, there is college-era gus fic out there. No, I'm not posting it on AO3.) I never quite got a handle on Sheppard or McKay but I did enjoy writing this and the other SGA fic I wrote, but yeah this deserves its obscurity.

Honey Now I'm Not One To Complain: Dalgliesh, Adam Dalgliesh/Kate Miskin, 2022.

Another one of my "Bertie Carvel is extremely attractive when he's sad and/or a cop" flash-fandoms, although I wrote a pretty good primer on the first season that I think gives a good case for the show as a whole. I wanted to write that largely because the show is so resolutely grim and I prefer stories that are... not grim, so I gave myself the challenge of putting these guys into one of the classic tropes. I did toy with the fake dating/marriage trope but honestly I think this was funnier, and I would always rather commit to the bit.

Tagging uhhh let's see, @laiqualaurelote, @themardia, @sadcypress, @auntieclimactic, and @eyebrowofdoom, if they (or anyone else) wants to do this.

#three-legged puppy fic appreciation #ficcage of interest #...very very slight interest

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kalena-henden · 1 month

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Shows I finished in 2024 so far...

A Good Day to be a Dog - A woman accidentally kisses her co-worker and turns into a dog during the night due to a family curse. She has to get her co-worker to kiss her as a dog to break stay human full-time or she will permanently remain a dog after 100 days. The first two-thirds were fun hijinks and a cute romance. The final third with the past life curse origin was a drag. Still upset the mountain god didn't apologize after wrongly punishing the wrong people due to his misunderstanding.

My Demon - A high powered business woman becomes entangled with a deal-making demon when she saves him and his powers transfer to her. This show stole plot heavily from shows like Goblin and Doom at Your Service and failed to do make those concepts their own. However, I still enjoyed it to the end, mostly due to the chemistry between the leads. They had such a fun and lively relationship.

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract - A Joseon-era bride who is widowed on her wedding day is transported to the future where she falls for a man who looks exactly like her dead husband. The story was okay but I was mainly here for the chemistry between the leads.

Fixer Upper: Hotel - Chip and Jo work their magic on an entire hotel. I love seeing the process and the design is beautiful as always.

Memorist - A detective who can see people's thoughts when he touches them teams up with a genius profiler to take down murders. As mysteries unfold and truths are revealed, everything is not as it seems forcing them to confront their traumatic pasts. I binged this in 4 days. The first half is dark but, just when I thought I had the villains pegged, the story opens up to explore the various sides of people to reveal the good, the bad, and the morally grey. I'm still thinking about this months later. I especially loved our detective/profiler team. I really want to rewatch.

Be Melodramatic - This a satire on the entertainment industry, grief, motherhood, and love that is done with 100% deadpan humor which is why I thought the concepts were interesting but fell flat due to not connecting with the humor. This took me almost 9 months to finish.

Death's Game - A man kills himself and then is given 12 chances to survive in someone else's body or he will be sent to hell. It's an anti-suicide version of A Christmas Carol. It was okay. While a host of great actors shine in their guest roles, it was maddening that the man didn't seem to learn along the way until the last body. Where the story ended felt like a copout. If this were a movie where you don't have much time, I would understand, but I wanted to see what would happen next. We needed just one more episode.

Marry My Husband - A woman with terminal cancer is murdered by her husband and best friend who were having an affair, when she is transported back in time before she was married to change her fate and find the love she deserves. This was such a great revenge story. Some of the best villains in kdramaland. A cute romance with a man who adores her. Real friendships. And the OSTs will stick with you.

Queen of Divorce - It started off okay but went downhill quickly. Honestly, such a waste of a great cast.

Daisy Jones & The Six - An interesting look at a fictional 70s rock band as they rise to the top before flaming out. I had listened to the audiobook but I liked the series better.

Doctor Slump - Two young doctors who were academic rivals in high school find themselves grappling with depression and fall in love as they heal together. This was a solid, even keel show for me. I enjoyed their healing journey and their romance.

Live Your Own Life - An outcast chaebol whose parents died in a mysterious car crash falls for his hardworking trainer who needs to learn to become independent from her family. I watched this 50-episode family drama for Ha Joon. There were some interesting things that kept me watching but it was just okay.

Princess Hours - The crown prince and a young artist, who are both high school seniors, navigate the complexities of an arranged marriage and court politics in modern day Korea. This was a really interesting study in how people can change and grow and fall in love as they grapple with the expectations of a nation. It's an old school kdrama and alot is meant to be inferred. It's almost as much about what is not shown or said as much as what is which was frustrating at times. However, when someone explained things, everything started to click for me and I saw all the things that were implied increasing my enjoyment.

Wedding Impossible - A gay chaebol asks his best friend to marry him to hide his sexuality from everyone. His brother who wants him to marry someone else for his own good decides to break them up by seducing his brother's fiance. It's a ridiculous premise with a fun, bickering enemies to lovers couple. It lags a bit in the last part but I still enjoyed this romance. Moon Sang Min is a new fave.

High School King of Savvy - A high school hockey player is asked by his older brother to pretend to be him at his job as a corporate executive while he investigates something nefarious. The high schooler then has to juggle both school and work life as he unexpectedly falls for his brother's secretary. This is a crazy, age-gap romance with Seo In Guk. The only reason the romance works is because both the leads are so pure hearted and kind. Lee Soo Hyuk is doing his best sexy, self-sabotaging second male lead, who even smiles! It was a bit much but it settled down in the second half and I loved the big found family feel of the cast.

The Smile Has Left Your Eyes - The first half was interesting with many characters’ selfish and dark intentions mixed with a little mystery were set up in contrast to our optimistic, self-sacrificing female lead. However, the second half drowned in major events happening and then being dismissed as if they never happened, multiple secret keepers refusing to tell the secret multiple times an episodes even when asked point blank when the answers could stop so many bad things from happening, and the existential dread I felt about what the big reveal was going to be only for it to completely dismissed. I knew this was a tragedy going in but still I felt angry and exhausted by the end.

Vigilante - A police university student decides to take the law into his own hands after his mother's murderer is let back on the streets to avenge her and other's like her who have been failed by the justice system. A manhunt for him ensues, bringing together an unlikely and at times unhinged group who decides to reveal the truth and bring justice. At 8 episode (six hours total), it felt like it was just starting to gel by the end. Definitely set up for more potential seasons after Nam Joo Hyuk gets out of the military.

Love Me Love Me Voice - A newer voice actor and singer is one day noticed online by her secretive voice acting idol and a whirlwind courtship begins. These are the sweetest, kindest people ever. I love how the dramatic readings and song performances are seamlessly woven into the story. Multiple romances, great friendships, mouthwatering food, and beautiful locals. This is a feel good story of first love.

#my demon #love me love my voice #memorist #marry my husband #doctor slump #high school king of savvy #vigilante #princess hours #death's game #a good day to be a dog #kdrama #kalenapost #kalena watches kdramas #tv #kalena watches tv #tv list

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pastafossa · 3 months

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How do you get past writer's block? I have a fic that I'm working on that is updating on a schedule, and I made the mistake of giving myself a month off in between parts and now I can't really get back into writing it. I don't want to leave it abandoned because I have a few people who I know are really invested and I don't want to leave them hanging, but I'm having a hard time getting as excited to write it as I did before.

Ok so I'm in a weird place for this, hilariously. Because The Answer That Usually Works For Me (TM) and that carried me through a regular weekly update schedule for almost two and a half years is, in fact, not at present working for me apparently my brain can write through a pandemic but not through recovery from the shit that went down in December/Jan so we found my writing kryptonite. However, I'm going to assume you're closer to 2021 Pasta than 2024 Pasta. SO LET'S GO WITH THE METHOD I NORMALLY USE SINCE IT WAS SUCCESSFUL FOR YEARS. Cause that's the thing: sure, I've written almost a million words, and pumped out chapters for years (ignoring the past few months) but I promise, I hit the same walls as everyone else even when nailing weekly uploads. But over those years, I came up with a fairly solid list of steps that I'd go through one by one.

Fun one first: when I'm in a block, I almost always try re-engaging with canon first. I'd rewatch my favorite episodes, binge a whole season, or even the whole series depending on how much of a boost I needed. For me at least that was often like Pavlov's bell, my favorite story triggering a flood of affection. I'd remember why I loved this fandom and the characters so much, and it could often kickstart my brain and excitement back into gear. If you really want to dangle a carrot and your fic touches on canon, focus on watching parts you're excited to get to in your story. A big one for me in TRT for example was the post-Nobu, Nelson v. Murdock episode, since I'd had that planned for TRT almost since the start, and I was very excited to reach the hurt/comfort I had planned. Even if your fic isn't following canon though, see if it'll give you a creative rush again!

So let's say step 1 doesn't work, either because the canon just isn't hitting the spot or because your fic is dealing with something else. In this case, my next step was usually to jump ahead to write a scene I was really eager to get to. It was often a short blurb, but it was always something I REALLY wanted to explore, and because I'm also a reader who likes exactly the tropes and plots I'm writing, I want to read what fucking happens. Except, fuck, I'm not there yet, am I? And I can't see how that scene finishes until I write my way up to it and finish it. This is my own carrot. Multiple scenes in TRT were written months or even years in advance, simply as a way to bribe myself. This is also an option!

But maybe this doesn't work. Sometimes it didn't. This is when it got a bit more serious. For anyone who was reading at the time, you'd have noticed that I'd sometimes drop side fics, either Matt POVs or one-shots. This was me, in essence, working on the shower principle (basically, ideas/solutions will come if you stop thinking about it and do something else, like take a shower). I figured if I went and wrote something else - either with less stress, or something fun and dopamine-inducing - the part of my brain focused on my Big Fic would wander around the writer's block beneath my notice. And it almost always worked, all while I still kept my brain trained that, hey, even if we're not writing This Thing, we're still writing.

But let's say this doesn't work either. You're well, and truly, stuck. Been there now and then. And, you're going to hate this one. I hate it but it works 9 times of 10. And it is: Write anyway. Half of it was spite. I was not going to give up my schedule, I liked my schedule. The other half was that I knew myself. I knew if I could just get past the chapter/plot/dialogue I was struggling with, I'd be able to roll along again. And so I made a rule: whatever I wrote didn't have to be pretty. It just had to exist. If that meant I wrote, "Jane chased the cat in circles and caught it. She was happy." then that's what I wrote. Because everything, EVERYTHING, can be fixed in editing. But you can't fix what doesn't exist. And so there were those nights when I would scowl and groan and snarl and bash my head against that writer's block until 5 in the morning, but in the end Jane chased that fucking cat adn caught it, it was written. Hilariously, sometimes those chapters have wound up amazing (likely because I spent so much time hammering at them) and reader favorites. There are absolutely, I believe, moments where you can, and should, see if you can push through.

But that brings me to *waves* now. A lesson I've only recently recently and with encouragement. Namely... sometimes brain no go and that's ok. My steps work for me 99.9% of the time, but I've done the above during the past few months, and it just... hasn't dragged me out entirely out of it yet. Sometimes, our brains demand that break, especially when things just aren't going great. There's a reason TRT had a break of roughly 2 years between chapter 4 and chapter 5 (feel free to check the chapter index with dates on AO3!). I had some life things happening and I just was not in a place to write, even if I was still busily plotting and planning and thinking about TRT behind the scenes. And that was ok. We're not machines. I came back like a bulldozer in Jan 2021, yes, and bulldozed through weekly updates, but that break was needed. And now I'm obviously taking a short one again while I recover from everything. It's ok if you're not in a place for it. So the last step is one I've been told a lot by dear friends recently as they helped me through this: be kind to yourself, and try not to stress if none of the above works. The story will always be there, and if TRT is any indication through all its highs and lows, your readers will be there when you start up again.

#writer's block #i am on step five if that's not obvious and that's ok #steps 1-4 got me through about 2 years of writing and over a hundred chapters. damn near a mill words.#so i'm VERY confident it works most of the time #or it does for me anyway #just. you know. not all the time #what's funny is i suspect if you read all of trt knowing the above #you'll SEE these moments #moments where i clearly hit a chapter i'd written ahead of time cause it had more detail or more excitement radiating in my notes #alternatively no one has any idea which ones are which which is even funnier to me #look i do not judge *anyone* who just can't do weekly chapter #the pandemic was a weird period where i had the time to do that and the management required to keep up with it outside then is intense #like it's possible. i was doing it before shit started going sideways last year cause that was NOT my year basically from july onwards #but just be kind to yourself about it #the story will come #and your readers will be there for it

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oneatlatime · 8 months

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The Chase part 2

Apologies for the technical problems. Battery power must be conserved for necessities, which unfortunately does not include Avatar. But the power's back on now, so!

Picking up from Toph treating a senior citizen like a snooker ball...

I do like how Mai's not shy about participating in Ty Lee's nonsense.

The way Zuko Jr. says "I'll follow this trail" is very menacing.

We're continuing last week's cowboy theme.

This village has the same menacing single windchime as the village in the Spirit World Part One did.

This was may more satisfying than I was expecting! It was completely unfair how easily the Fire Nation ladies defeated Sokka & Katara so getting Appa'd was a nice payoff.

No disability unmocked this episode. Also nice stance from the lizard.

This whole scene with Toph and Iroh has the most beautiful backgrounds. I sense phone wallpapers in my future.

Forget about the visuals, every line of this exchange was golden. Two towering pillars of wisdom and emotional maturity meet for tea and not a soul goes untouched. Also a nice moment of calm in an otherwise frantic episode.

Can this PLEASE be the rock bottom for Zuko. I can only take so much more second hand embarrassment.

Fully-provisioned princess of the fire nation v. sleep-deprived half trained avatar v. starving outlaw who seems to have forgotten to bring his swords, the only weapon he's good at. Place your bets, folks!

Zuko in a nutshell.

Ok so we're getting the whole gang back together.

The whole whole gang.

The whole whole whole gang.

How the hell did they mess up six on one?!?!

A princess can't surrender with honour when she doesn't have any!

That was kind of Katara to offer to help. I didn't expect that.

Final Thoughts

This episode doesn't let up once. Even the break with Toph and Iroh having tea doesn't do much to dispell the rising tension from the chase. The musical stinger that plays over the title card was a surprise bit of foreshadowing in that way.

That tank thing was neat. Shame about what it contained, but that's a really cool design.

Poor Appa was once again the MVP this episode. It was uncomfortable watching him get so exhausted.

It seems like the thin veneer of level-headedness cultivated by Katara over the last season or so is indeed quite thin. It was interesting to see how the different characters reacted to being tired. Sokka was alternatively amped up and completely chilled out, Aang got quiet (until he felt Appa was being insulted), Katara reverted to her early season one characterisation. It's hard to say with Toph, because we've only known her one episode (it feels like more) but I think she just got more Toph-like.

Please let this be the end in Zuko's experiment with independence. He's not good at it. He needs uncle. Points for trying, but he failed, so please bring uncle back.

Sokka low key wins this episode. He's the one with sense, the only one who stays clear-headed when it counts, and it turns out that clear head of his can defeat the pokey thing Ty Lee does.

I don't know how much time is supposed to have passed between picking up Toph and the start of this episode, but I can't help but feel that Toph really got the short end of the stick here. She did give up everything, even if much of what she gave up was not that great for her personally. And in return she got to travel in a way that completely blinds her and get yelled at. Meeting Iroh was a nice consolation prize.

Now I kind of want a story where Toph doesn't come back to the Gaang and instead goes around unleashing bending hell on the earth kingdom.

Was there no b plot or c plot this episode? Everything kind of collided in the final couple of scenes, which I did not see coming.

Frantic is the word I keep coming back to for this episode. Everything fit together nicely. I'll definitely rewatch it when I have the chance to do so in one sitting, without unforseen technical problems.

#the risk I took was calculated #but man am I bad at math #atla #avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #the chase #laptop was at 31% so I wasn't taking any chances #Note to self: stop putting of looking at a backup power supply #stupid utilities company is currently doing “intermittent network repairs” which apparently translates to killing the grid #every saturday and wednesday #but never the same time on those days #I'm going to clean up part 1 now

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chadfallout76podcast · 1 year

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Death Shroud Q&A (submitted by @completely-legit)

completely-legit submitted:

10h ago

Death Shroud Q&A!

Writing Questions

Q: 1. "You only ever took one of us." – Paladin Danse, Death Shroud Meta jokes aside, it's obvious you enjoyed playing some of the best of Fallout 4's cast off of each other in ways that we weren't able to get in the game due to the mechanical restrictions of the gameplay. Which was your favorite dynamic between characters to write?

A: Honestly I loved writing all of it. By the time you're well into the story the Red Rocket is filled with the strangest assortment of people/not people in the entire Wasteland. The conflict, ball busting, unexpected friendships that would be blossom out of that is really fertile soil for writing. Moreover, on a shared journey 2 years later they have a comfortable familiarity with each other they just slip back into. I also love Jefferson/Silver Shroud's dynamic, because you have a superhero level character who starts off 2 dimensional ripped out of a comic book and is suddenly REAL in a way that doesn't fit with reality. As a result he's kind of bumbling and awkward. Jefferson is the embodiment of him "not fitting in" outside of the page where he's idolized as well as stylized. It's just great stuff.

2. I believe you mentioned you turned to Dick Tracy for inspiration while writing this picturesque slice of noir life – what's the most important thing you've learned about writing a radio drama? What was the most difficult thing about resurrecting a much older style of media that you didn't appreciate until you were deep in it?

A: I looked at a lot of inspirations to get the feel right in the beginning acts. Relistened to old school Sam Spade radio dramas, rewatched The Maltese Falcon (Bogart's version of Spade inspired the character of Valentine in development), as well as "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" and "Dick Tracy". Since I've been writing radio drama for almost 5 years now, I think the biggest thing I've learned over time is getting the rhythm right. I write in a way that I want to take people on an emotional rollercoaster of a journey in pretty much everything I do. Because that's life. We laugh, we get anxious and tense, we pine for people, cheer them out, mourn their losses and feel their pain. I always try to recreate that ride in any story we've done whether it's this or other productions we do. Lastly, always give people what they want: a satisfying ending. As far as resurrecting an older style of media...that was really easy as I've been listening to Old Time Radio since I was a teenager.

3. Did you do everything in one take or have any rehearsals/direction? It seemed like all the VAs were in one call together, which is some incredible coordination and effort!

A: Nope! All recorded one night in one take with no rehearsal. Mostly because I was sweating over the script and didn't finish polishing it until 3 hours before recording. We did it all on Zoom and not 5 minutes in, a lightning bolt hit a transformer down the street, knocking out my power. Wes had to continue recording for me (it's why there's a big grid of people at the start as opposed to the single actor view later on. I was crushed I wasn't there live while they were recording.

4. The amount of voice (and writing) talent in this production is incredible for something so unofficial! How long did it take you to bring this 3 hour noir tour of the Commonwealth to fruition? How many times did you have to replay/reload Fallout 4 to fact check your details? :)

A: Thank you! We started asking people a few months ago. I had a brainstorming meeting with Wes and Emil from Bethesda who offered some helpful notes as I wrote on their characters. It took me 26 hours or so to edit and design the media elements, add effects and music scoring. It took 14 hours to render in 4k and only finished rendering at 10am the morning of airing. I was sweating over night that it would finish rendering in time. lol I didn't have to replay Fallout 4 as I have a really good memory of it, but looked to the Wiki on some key details and transcripts of how the characters talked in the main game.

5. Obviously, the plot had to wrap a bit around which VAs were available; were there any specific plot changes you had to make based on availability, or did you only seriously bend to writing after you already had a list of actors available for participation? Anything extremely fun you had to cut?

A: At the last moment sadly Lynda Carter couldn't join us otherwise I wouldn't have written in Magnolia without her. Shari Elliker came in clutch and did a great job voicing her! I really and truly wanted MacCready a part of it, but Matt Mercer is INSANELY busy and was taking a much-needed vacation. Despite that he was kind enough to record for us. I wanted to try and bring EVERYONE back but between not being able to reach some people, others just able to wrangle their schedule...I think we did a good job getting as many people as we did. There was a bunch of stuff I had to cut for time (because this thing was already 3 hours). There was going to be an attack by the Mechanist on Diamond City, following the events at the Lombardo's with the Mechanist taking out the Detective Agency in retribution for meddling in their plans, but felt that was unnecessary and we'd already put listeners through enough torture. lol I was going to bring back Scribe Haylen as a link to investigate some of the Brotherhood's Black Market dealings in salvaged synth tech as part of the surprise return of Kellogg. But honestly the most fun scene would've been a trap in which they're lured to a train station thinking Harold is coming in by rail from the Capital Wasteland only to be chased by an Endritch "modded into the Universe" version of Thomas the Tank Engine. It would've resulted in a car chase with the Shroud realizing Jefferson has used all his James Bond-like car gadgets already so the most they can do is throw bottles at it that Hancock has emptied. lol

Plot questions:

1. "You started something two years ago you never finished." - Boss Lombardo, Death Shroud

In my opinion, one of the biggest successes of Death Shroud was fans were of course hungry for the answers about what comes after a "happy ending". In Death Shroud it's apparent that Nora chose to assist the Brotherhood of Steel along to a victory against the Institute - but it becomes clear that the ending wasn't perfect for everyone. There's been a lot of discussion over the years about how every faction ending to Fallout 4 has its own unique drawbacks. In this case it seems like even beyond sacrificing the Railroad (and a lot of synths) the Brotherhood left a power vacuum in the Commonwealth which is allowing for raiders and the like to take back over in the absence of both the Institute and an effective Minute Men alliance. What was the most important part of this "ending" and its consequences for you to address? What made it the best backdrop to set Death Shroud in? The play mentions more than once that poor Nick is running out of spare parts with the source of synthetic limbs destroyed!

A: I picked that ending for our story because honestly it's one of the most dire from which to grow the story from. The rise of raiders and Triggermen (mafia control of parts of the city) is very Film Noir. I also needed Nora to have dipped out of the spotlight and honestly trying to just go live a quiet life and come to terms with what they did to the railroad was necessary plot wise. The Cabot storyline was also essential...she needed to have let him loose in order for the pieces of the story to come together. I also think it's important to remember that the Brotherhood REALLY aren't their for altruistic reasons. Once they take out the Institute they don't give a crap about rebuilding Boston. They salvage tech, hoard it and that's kind of it. By the time our story begins Nick and our former companions are doing their best just to keep things in some kind of order. Even Hancock needs to go back to run Goodneighbor to prevent it from falling apart.

2. The biggest breakout original character was Charlie, Nick Valentine's protege turned traitor; wonderfully played by Aeric Azana. I actually experienced several double takes during the first airing of the play and had to google to make sure I hadn’t completely forgotten the character somehow, he fit so well with the rest of the cast. What was the inspiration for his character? Care to give us some more loose backstory about how he wound up in the Valentine detective agency?

A: Aeric Azana is BRILLIANT and really completely lost himself in that character and brought it to life. I think the character fit in and felt so natural because it felt like a character that would be there. Following the events of Fallout 4, I think Nick would learn the importance of friends and family and in chasing down Nora's son, a set of continuity of beliefs and ideals. Seeing the Institute destroyed and most of the synths wiped out...there's no backup, no spare parts. Nick can be killed and destroyed and all that he was would be lost. Not only does Nick need help at the agency I think he wanted to have something he could never have: a sense of family. Taking in Charlie off the streets, raising him, teaching him would make sense for him. I have some thoughts on his background and how Nick found him...but that may end up being a story, so I'll keep quiet about that for now. Suffice to say, missing people is not all that Nick finds on cases.

3. No noir sleuth story is complete without organized crime! Fallout players are intimately familiar with a lot of the gangs of the commonwealth, be it the Khans, the Forged, or even the Gourmands – but Ma Lombardo, played by the lovely Ellen McLain & her rabid dog son Carmen (the Boss) played by the equally talented Zack Ward - represent a newer type of evil in the Commonwealth.

In your opinion how does organized crime fit within the wasteland societal structure that already... lacks organization as it were? Are they essentially just raiders who will monologue at you before gunning you down for your caps? Who is even standing up to them at this point? Prosecuting them for their perceived crimes? It’s funny to consider that these crime families are essentially more organized than most of the remaining political structures in place!

A: Say what you want about crime families, but they do hold up a semblance of order where there is needed one. If you take a look at the arc of the Godfather, in the beginning there is a balance of justice, deep seated respect of an order...a code of honor. Ma and Carmen Lombardo return because we've broken what little of that was left with the Triggermen by the time we were done in the Commonwealth. The hierarchy peaking order has been obliterated, so it leaves both a structural opportunity for them to return and also a true need to try and BE the stabilizing force after the power vacuum that was left by our choices. Nora and the gang basically fuck up the Commonwealth in one way or another and I honestly think it would be out of character for her to WANT to be a ruler. So who's left? The Triggermen under Lombardo aren't just raiders...they were forced inline in a way they hadn't been in a long time. Raiders wouldn't have stood a chance against them.

4. "If I’ve learned anything, people are what they believe" – Nick Valentine, Death Shroud

Nick Valentine is a character who has struggled with his identity in the past but came to some degree of closure about it by choosing to believe in/focus on the goodness of his deeds despite being a perceived copy of another man. In Death Shroud we see him brush up against a much more literal (and meta) manifestation of the power of belief in ideas - it's a pretty poignant juxtaposition of the character's much-deliberated ideology vs a rather wild plot. Is that the reason Nick was the only man left standing at the end? The manufactured man who was both someone else's idea but how he defines himself, who he is, is his own choice as well?

A: Honestly the reason it was him still standing in the end is because this ultimately is HIS story, a Nick Valentine Mystery. What Nick misses completely is that like Nora, he is a keystone event. Unlike any other synth out there he is aware of who he is, who he wasn't, can't hide in plain sight like others can. Because of his journey, his actions, the people he helps, saves, draws to him, a tapestry of ripples of his existence, choices and actions forever ripple throughout the Commonwealth. Magnolia's comments in the end both speak to his position in their reality and also direct speak to us as players, "in the end we're not just stories".

5. Follow up: I also found it to be an incredibly fascinating character arc for Nick as well. He was offered the keys to Diamond City, albeit by notorious criminal Ma Lombardo, but then later essentially by Charlie as well - but our synthetic hero turns both of them down since he's a “just a detective, not a politician”.

A: It's more than that also. Nick isn't motivated by power, has lived long enough to see how power corrupts and creates the illusion of choice. What Charlie misses is the EXPERIENCE Nick has as part of his journey. Could having that kind of power mean no more missing people? No more broken hearts? Yes...but it also means denying people the choices and lessons they've learned as a result of actions they take. He wasn't born. He was made. He was built to replace people. He was given memories, a life and story he didn't earn, didn't choose. He made the CHOICE to to throw all of that away and do the most human thing real humans often don't do: help people without reservation.

Over the course of the play it becomes clearer as characters reminisce over the events of Fallout 4, Nick's not entirely satisfied with some of the choices Nora made along the way and more notably some of the ramifications. This is followed by the very end where Nick takes control to reset reality to a ‘previous save’ far in the past before the entirety of Nora’s adventure - rather than say, just before everything involving the events of Death Shroud went to hell in a handbasket. Any particular reason that was Nick’s chosen reload point? Do you think Nick has reached a point from his experiences where he would take a more active role in guiding Nora's decision making going forward?

A: Nick didn't have a choice there. There is only the current state or as teased in the commercial in the very beginning the only saved state available to you. "Safe equals saved" wasn't just a funny commercial, it was a promise that going back means returning to the start of the tapestry of choices, actions and impacts that began when Nora's keystone moment began. The day she was woken up and became something other than Nora. If you pay attention, throughout Fallout 4 Nick offers very specific guidance in some areas and specific wisdom. Knowing full well how important choice is to the causal nexus and maintaining the tapestry of reality he would walk that line very carefully in the choices made vs. influenced.

Last Question:

I’m very curious what the three sentence pitch was to get most of these VAs on board with this amazing project - and even Pete Hines and Emil Pagliarulo as well – if you can share that with us!

A: There really wasn't one. I've become really good friends with Wes these past few years and the other voice actors, Pete Hines, etc. are also people I've gotten to know through Fallout For Hope. So I think our track record as far as fundraising goes, trust in me/Fallout For Hope, etc. from working together on both unofficial Fallout community projects, causes and events and official NDA ones we've done the past few years created a unique situation this thing could even happen. This was our 3rd production this scale, but the one I'm most proud of.

#death shroud #CHAD: A Fallout 76 Podcast #fallout for hope #fallout 4

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