theflyindutchwoman
Do I look OK?
. Em | She/Her | 30s | Travel enthusiast - Avid watcher of TV shows | Talks too much .
2266 posts
Last active 3 hours ago
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
ohto4i
law
mysteriousmagicx
Archive
mallratsys
Starting a career in sayin Bullshit
angelic-kins
angel baby!
belac-28-blog
Belac
Text
you don't wanna know me now
He feels like he’s existing outside of his body, like he’s somehow been plucked off the streets of Los Angeles and thrown back to the hot sand and rolling foothills of the Iraqi desert. He can almost feel the heat of the sun beating down on his body as his mind is playing a horrific slideshow, so real it feels like he’s reliving every mistake he’s made, every transgression he’s committed, and every secret he thought he’d buried.
(6x06 missing moments/post-ep)
Read on AO3.
#so my heart just got pulverised reading this... but READ IT! Seriously!#it's so... heartwrenching isn't even strong enough to describe this#the ring just killed me#so did the image of him going home alone... or that last image of Lucy#chenford fanfic
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
↠Tim & Lucy | 2x01 - 5x05
She knows. And she wanted to.
#precious bean who cares so much and deserves the world#The Rookie#chenford#lucy chen#tim bradford#5.05#2.01
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not Grey's selfie with the painting 😭😂
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
From the ashes (chapter 3)
Tim pulls open the front door and immediately finds himself with his arms full of Lucy. Stunned, it takes him a moment to respond, but slowly his arms find their way around her, hands spreading wide across her back, and he drops his chin to rest against her temple.
“I’m so proud of you,” she murmurs, her face buried in his neck.
Lucy is clinging to him so tightly, both arms flung around his neck, and Tim can’t bring himself to let go of her either, so he awkwardly takes a step backwards and then another, walking them further inside still tangled together until he can close the door.
Despite his excitement to see her, Kojo must realize how badly they need this uninterrupted moment, because he’s panting eagerly and nosing at their legs, but miraculously he doesn’t bark or try to nudge them apart. In fact, nearly a full minute passes before either of them move, and even then, Tim only lifts his arm enough to swipe an errant piece of her hair out of his mouth.
Lucy strengthens her grip, burrowing into him more deeply, and he returns his hand to her lower back, wrapping it all the way around to her opposite side and holding her even tighter. He can feel her tears on his neck and he knows his own are dripping into her hair, but he doesn’t try to stop them.
He learned as a young boy to never let anyone see his tears, and since that day – bruised and bleeding and hiding in his bedroom closet – he almost never has. But now, he’s cried more tears in therapy than he ever has in his entire life. He still doesn’t like it, but he’s learned to stop fighting it.
Unlike the past four months, though, these aren’t tears of sadness. They’re tears of relief.
Tim is under no illusions that everything is magically okay again. But Lucy is here and she’s proud of him, and that means more to him than he ever could have imagined.
Read the final chapter on AO3
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
#Does that mean that Tim is still in Metro or is it just for this op? 👀#Also I'm here for Lucy x Celina working together! Curious to see why Nolan isn't mentioned... 👀#the rookie#chenford#lucy chen#tim bradford#6.08
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't think you're just protecting her. I think you're protecting yourself. There's something else you did, that you don't want to admit. And you're basing this on?
THE ROOKIE — 6.06 'Secrets and Lies'
#I missed their friendship so much!#we need more of these two working together - please!#the rookie#angela lopez#tim bradford#6.06
580 notes
·
View notes
Text
cause I know that it's delicate
“You know you’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met, right?”
Tim turned his head when he heard Angela’s voice beside him as she slid into the booth next to him.
“What?”
“You’re an idiot!”
“Thanks.”
“She was happiest with you, you know?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, come on. Lucy. I’d never seen her as happy as she was with you. And she would’ve stayed to help you work through whatever you’re working through.”
“I know, that’s exactly why I walked away. She deserves better than to have to deal with my issues.”
“You didn’t even give her a choice, Tim. You just… walked away without asking her what she wanted.”
“It’s what’s best for her.”
“Is it, really? It’s best for her to be heartbroken over you? She’s been by your side through your worst when she was just your rookie, so what’s different now? Why can’t she see the worst of you now?”
Because now she wasn’t just his rookie anymore. Because now she was the person who mattered most. Because now she was the person he loved more than he ever thought he was capable of. Because he felt ashamed of who he truly was and he didn’t want her to see that side of him. Because her light didn’t deserve to be tainted by his darkness.
But he didn’t say any of that.
“I’m tired, okay? I’m gonna go home.”
He fished out a few dollar bills to pay for his beer and threw them on the table before sliding out of the booth.
“G’night.”
“You’re a coward, you know that?”
Yeah, he knew. And maybe in a perfect world, cowards didn’t exist and he could work through everything with Lucy by his side. But this wasn’t a perfect world, and he was a coward. And even after almost three months of therapy, he still felt lost. Maybe he always would and he could never find a way back — back to himself, and hopefully back to Lucy — and that hurt, because he’d love her with everything he had for the rest of his life and she would always be the best thing that ever happened to him.
keep reading here on AO3.
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
6.07 | Crushed
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
From the ashes (chapter 2)
Sixty-five days later
Walking into Mid-Wilshire after two months undercover is a strange experience. Everything feels the same and yet different at the same time. Lucy supposes that makes sense; after all, she’s spent the last two months pretending to be someone she’s not, and now that she’s back she’s finding it difficult to remember how to be herself.
She spots him before he sees her, across the bullpen at a desk with his back to her as he pours over a stack of paperwork. One by one, though, her colleagues become aware of her arrival. An initially scattered applause spreads through the bullpen, and she can see the moment it reaches Tim because he lifts his head and looks around, eyes widening in surprise when they find hers.
The corner of his mouth quirks up slightly and she offers her own small smile of acknowledgment. She’s unsure if it’s because she’s not really herself right now or if it’s just the passage of time, but seeing him doesn’t hurt quite as much.
The debrief takes hours, and it’s not until end of shift that Lucy finally makes her way back into the bullpen. Tim is at his desk once more, eyes fixed on the computer screen this time, but he lifts them to her as she approaches.
“Hey,” she offers tentatively.
“Hey,” he greets, giving her a quick onceover out of habit. “You okay?”
“I think so?” she answers, though it’s more question than answer. Tim tilts his head curiously and she adds, “It’s… weird. Being someone else for that long. I feel like I’m still her.”
He nods in understanding. “Makes sense.”
For a moment neither speaks, but then Tim continues before the awkwardness can creep in. “Heard you took down the entire operation,” he says, and despite the vast chasm of fractured emotion that still lies between them, she can see the pride in his eyes.
“We did,” she replies.
Silence falls again, and Lucy wonders if it will never not be awkward between them.
“You look better,” she offers, an attempt to fill the silence. He’s clean-shaven, eyes clearer and much less haunted than when she left, and as much as she’s missed him, she thinks it may have been for the best that they didn’t have any contact for two months. They both needed to begin to heal, and she doesn’t know how effectively that would’ve happened if they’d had to see each other every day at the station.
“I feel better,” he confirms. “I still have a ways to go, though.”
“You’ll get there.”
“I hope so.”
“Chen.”
Lucy turns at the sound of her name, finds Harper and the lead detective from Narcotics motioning her over. She turns back to Tim. “Sorry, I have to…”
“No, it’s fine,” he assures her quickly. “We can talk another time.”
“Right, okay, yeah,” she stammers, fighting the conflicting desires to maintain a healthy distance between them but also to continue their conversation because it’s been more than two months since she’s seen his face and heard his voice.
“Hey, Lucy?” Tim calls softly as she turns to leave.
“Hmm?” she asks, pausing to toss a glance over her shoulder.
“I’m glad you’re back.”
Read the rest on AO3
#break my heart#It's not like I need it#PS : read this with a big tub of ice cream - you're gonna need it#Chenford fanfic
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Home isn’t always a house and it isn’t always where you grew up; sometimes it’s just a feeling.” - Holly Martin
#And now he's back to an empty house (except for Kojo - if he hasn't wrecked it)#you know what? I need a scene of Tim all alone in his house to wreck me a little bit more#the rookie#chenford#lucy chen#tim bradford#4.09#6.04
227 notes
·
View notes
Text
Officer Cop-Cake
5x03 / 6x06
#great continuity - but I wish we'd seen Tim's reaction to Lucy having that poster in her room 😅#And how did she get it by the way? Smitty? Did she find a stack of it while cleaning his trailer and kept one?#I have questions 👀#the rookie#chenford#lucy chen#tim bradford#5.03#6.06
186 notes
·
View notes
Text
😭😭😭
#one of them is not like the others 😭😭😭#I'm gonna need a happy hug at some point to compensate#the rookie#chenford#lucy chen#tim bradford#4.01#4.09#5.20#5.22#6.06
284 notes
·
View notes
Text
it was legendary
it was momentary
it was unnecessary
should've let it stay buried
185 notes
·
View notes
Text
requested by anonymous
234 notes
·
View notes
Text
From the ashes
Chapter 1
It’s dark by the time Tim leans into the front door of Mid-Wilshire, pushing it open with his shoulder. The cool evening air surrounds him as he steps outside and glances around. He’s parked just a few spaces down but even from here he can see a familiar figure leaning against the side of his truck waiting for him. He doesn’t know exactly why she’s here today, but Angela hasn’t been holding back lately, sending dose after dose of tough love in his direction.
Whatever it is tonight, he’s already sure he’s not going to like it.
She pushes off the vehicle as he approaches, and Tim comes to a stop in front of her. “What do you want?”
“Nice to see you too,” she replies.
Tim huffs a sigh of irritation. “What, Angela?”
“Wanted to make sure you heard about Lucy.”
“What? No,” he answers hurriedly, looking around as though there’s something to see that he's somehow missed. “What happened? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. Physically,” Angela adds with a pointed look.
Tim ignores her. “Then what?”
“Narcotics needs a UC for their trafficking case,” she begins.
“And they tapped her.”
She nods.
Tim shoves his hands into his pockets and glances around, taking a moment to gather himself. “How long?”
“Couple months, probably.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?” Angela echoes. “That’s all you have to say?”
“Look, if you’re worried she can’t handle it right now, don’t be,” Tim says. He’s been undercover with her and he’s witnessed her ability to compartmentalize. “She’s solid.”
“I’m not worried about her,” Angela assures him.
Tim crosses his arms. “Then why are you here?” Angela raises an eyebrow and fixes him with a piercing stare, and he sighs heavily and barely conceals a roll of his eyes. “I’m fine.”
“Neither of you are fine right now,” Angela states. “And I think it would be good for both of you to clear the air before she leaves.”
Tim sighs once more but doesn’t reply. There’s no point denying it. He knows Angela is right, and he knows she knows that too.
“She’s in the locker room now,” Angela adds. “She should be out soon.”
And with that, she turns and walks away, leaving him alone in the middle of the parking lot.
Read the rest on AO3
#I'm not crying... I'm really not...#This hurts so much but this is so so good#And it still manages to be hopeful#Diana - you are such a gifted writer ❤️#chenford fanfic
45 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey! How are you holding up? Just finished the episode and I haven't really recovered. I am sad, I am frustrated, I don't really know what's happening? I thought they were mature and Tim is so dumb right now, I can't even.
And Lucy? I can't even start to imagine what she's going through. She has been so badass for the 5 seasons and this season she just gets fail after fail and loss after loss and doesn't even get a good job storyline.
So sorry I didn't reply sooner but I first wanted to take a little step back in order to fully digest the episode. As much as the waiting is killing me, I actually appreciate the hiatus for that.
I imagine your feelings may have changed a bit as well since then… or that was the impression I got from our different conversations here and there. How are you feeling now? A bit better or still frustrated?
I'm going to start with Lucy. I was rewatching the beginning of season 5 and this is hitting even harder now. Not because of the pining era. But because the narrative was already showing her isolation back then. I couldn't quite put my finger on why her storyline in season 6 felt so familiar but now I get it. This is merely the continuation.
As we all noticed, the scene of Tim breaking up with her had a very similar vibe to the one at the end of 5.02. But think back of when she went to Nyla for advice about going to UC school, when she was trying to confide to Aaron who was too caught up in his own drama to hear her… or when she spent hours locked in a freezer because no one realised she was missing - besides Tim, that is. And then, there was the whole Rosalind thing where Lucy had to push through her own trauma to help Chris deal with his and help Bailey stay calm. But no one ever took the time to ask her how she was doing with all of this (on screen). They all had good reasons, by the way, this isn't me trying to paint them as the bad guys. But this still has an eerie similarity to what is happening right now. Only there has been no payoff for any of this. Yet. It didn't seem to go anywhere. Until now.
Same with her career : she nailed UC Academy, something that was supposed to help her standout come promotion time… She helped the FBI on a raid, she was asked to be the acting Watch Commander, she was told that the whole station had her back… And yet, none of this paid off either. Yet.
So this is a great opportunity to finally connect all the dots that have been dropped for the past two seasons and give Lucy the amazing arc she deserves. I sincerely hope this will be the case.
As for Tim… Look, the reason why I didn't want a breakup (besides the fact that I dislike this trope so much), is that I was afraid that it would cheapen the whole "worth the effort / worth the risk" speech. You can't say that and leave at the first difficulty without downplaying the whole story. So I'm glad that the writers were able to find a way to circumvent that issue by showing Tim completely unravelling. Because this isn't about him thinking Lucy is not worth the effort or the risk… This is about him thinking HE is not worthy of her. And that changes everything. For me, at least. I still get the frustration. I still wish this storyline would have been done with them sticking together and trying to work through it. But I can understand his perspective, why he thought this would be better for her. And I can see how that could make them stronger in the end. So, just like with Lucy, I hope Tim's arc will be treated properly and carefully. I need to see the payoff, the progress… I need to see them heal. Separately and then, together.
It's always hard to see where a story is going when it is still unfolding… But for now, I choose to remain optimistic and hopeful. Does that help you even a tiny bit?
#thanks for the ask :) and again I apologise for not answering sooner!#ask & ye shall receive#the rookie#chenford#lucy chen#tim bradford
36 notes
·
View notes