"For a moment or two I could see nothing, as the shadow of a cloud obscured St. Mary’s Church and all around it. Then as the cloud passed I could see the ruins of the abbey coming into view; and as the edge of a narrow band of light as sharp as a sword-cut moved along, the church and the churchyard became gradually visible. Whatever my expectation was, it was not disappointed, for there, on our favourite seat, the silver light of the moon struck a half-reclining figure, snowy white."

Mina and Lucy in the kirkyard at Whitby, August 11th.

part 1 of drawing my fav bg3 npcs starting with my top favs

I will say this once because I'm tired of seeing stupid discourse: anti-transmasculinity is not about being treated bad because we clock as men, it's about being treated as stupid little girls because transphobes think we've been tricked into this.

It's kind of the opposite of transmisogyny- instead of fear and revulsion, it's constant condescension, the implications that we've been whisked away from femininity by scary bad guys, that we're going to cause 'irreparable damage' because we don't know what's best for ourselves, somehow. People fearmonger a lot about the "ugliness" of transfem people, but for transmasc people that 'ugliness' is used as a warning- you'll look like THIS! You'll go BALD! Your top surgery scars will leave you MUTILATED! A lot of aesthetic concerns. Worry about our 'beauty'. Because it comes from that same stupid reactionary 'we gotta SAVE the WOMEN' shit, but this time they have to save them from getting 'stolen away', as if we're being seduced or pressured into this. As if we can't make our own decisions.

For TERFS specifically, they're losing one of their own. We're 'gender traitors', willingly aligning ourselves with the half of the population they consider unilaterally dangerous and evil.

We aren't REALLY trans, we just want the benefits that men get. You don't actually want to transition, you're just trying to avoid misogyny.

You aren't actually a man, you're just a self-loathing lesbian.

Why can't you just be a butch girl? Why can't you just be a tomboy?

Why can't you just be something that I don't think is icky?

Anyway. Like all things, it boils down to misogyny. Women stupid and gentle, dont know what best for them, evil men trick into taking man juice, must save because lady stupid and dont know what best for them (having babies and being Feminine).

Theres like. Obviously more to this but I'm just a Transmasc Rando explaining this from my perspective, and I'm not the best with words. Anyone is free to hop in and add on to this

so far we've had slowburn vampire horror, then we had polycule drama, and now we've taken a hard turn into ghostly boat horror. this is the best possible way to experience this book

im sorry i just felt bad i didnt include jakurai a few days ago

day 99

i have NEARLY finished the skirt for my ren faire fit i just gotta get a few finishing details added and also get the undershirt bleached (bc i got a bunch of makeup on it at last years fair and shit Stained) but THEN i can show yall the final fit!!

I put way too much effort into a stupid meme and now im burnt out ough-

For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D

+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)

hey guys am i allowed to say on main that i dont like metadad . am i gonna get beaten up for saying this.

guys i think we all took the term found family too literally and now everythings flattened into a boring nuclear family. guys can we stop. hello . is anybody there

pls rb for larger sample size n___n and feel free to add why you prefer your app of choice in the tags/replies

ROBBIES TURN yes I am posting his the day right after Gabes yes i have lost sleep doing this.

When Robbie has been hurt enough the mold that makes him up essentially goes 'ok yeah no theres no point in even trying to look human all our energy is going towards survival rn'. It consumes the places that have had the most damage in the past (primarily the arms and his torso but his previously cut off leg is getting some fun bullshit too). His thought process gets sort of foggy?? I think thats the best way to describe it. His brain sort of narrows down to 'KEEP SAFE' and 'KEEP BAD THINGS AWAY' the bad things usually being MOST THINGS THAT MOVE (Gabe is completely classified in the 'keep safe' catagory. Lisa.... is on thin ice but they're on pretty good terms at this point. As long as she doesen't attack him outright she's probably good).

Theres a bit of a sliding scale for 'how much damage' corrisponds to 'how much decay / mental fog' and Im gonna start working on it soon. There is a slight middle ground where the moldyness is very apparent but Robbie is also mentally aware enough to recognize it and its a VERY BAD TIME FOR HIM. He cant really feel much in his hands when they're like that (the mold isnt mimicing nerves the same way because they want to protect him from pain to keep him moving) its like when your hand goes to sleep and it buzzes. It's like trying to flutter your fingers through water. You can do it without much issue but theres still just a little resistance. Also I think that 'disliking being confronted with your own deadness' is something that he and cannon Robbie share. Cant freak out about your problems if you refuse to acknowledge them! (<- he will inevitably suffer for this)

Also having a fun time thinking about how disconnected he would feel from his own hands. Theres no way they're his they don't LOOK like his hands or FEEL like his hands but they move when he tells them to so they HAVE to be.

Luckily I was actually able to find a PERFECT voice reference for the sort of garbled-choked-wheezing-thing-waiting-in-the-dark-for-you I was envisioning for sufficiently hurt Robbie (being impaled in this example isn't helping either)

Also if you want to hear more of this EXCELLENT voice its Fiddlesticks from League of Legends (i can not escape) and its KELLEN FUCKING GOFF THE GUY WHO VOICES FUNTIME FREDDY AND GLAMROCK FREDDY AND SUN AND MOON THIS GUY IS W O A H. He also did this. With minimal sound editing. he just SOUNDS LIKE THAT. HE MADE A FUCKING TUTORIAL.

ANYWAY Gabe is uh. Not really having a good time with that one. Robbie in this state reminds him a LOT of himself while under Evelines control. Robbie is in control of himself of course hes just in the mental state of WHERE BROTHER :(?????? WHERE GO??? MAYBE LISA KNOWS??? LISA WHERE BROTHER :(((. But you can not listen to the audio I provided and think 'HMMM YES THAT IS VERY REASSURING I SHALL LISTEN TO THAT VOICE A GOOD SOUND YES HM YES'

a bunch of art from the last few months!!

Jitterbug

Something I've been thinking a lot recently after becoming a lot more social and going out is like. How different people really LOOK in general. Or rather, I've always seen it but I've been noticing it more. Different body types, different faces, different features.... etc. Everyone is so different looking.

There isn't a way you could possibly gauge how "beautiful" someone is because everyone is so different, and everyone's perception and preferences are different. Someone who you could consider extremely handsome could have deep seated self image issues, and someone who looks unremarkable to you might be someone's ideal.

I feel like being online and constantly exposed to the same types of faces, especially the type of people who become popular online due to the appearance, they always have the same set of features, same set of body types. It's not inherently bad, people do gravitate towards them because there's beauty standards that certain people fit. But in general exposure to people who look all similar rots the brain. It rots your self image. It distances you from your own community as well.

It bleeds into how people handle their relationships, it brings prejudice to people just based on their appearance, and it sucks so much to actually like, fully consciously REALIZE. Everyone is worthy of love, no matter how they look like (this includes you btw!! Yeah you!!! <3) no matter what the media says. It sounds like something sooo obvious but it really is something that grows roots in your brain given the chance and is hard to pull out.

Feeling like you're in an arms race against your peers to "score" someone who you could pass for an instagram model, instead of finding someone who you truly connect with. Having to deeply justify your partners and friendships to your family as being worth it, when they don't look like celebrities on TV and just look like regular people. (This has been my personal experience for a long time, but I feel like theres probably more people who have gone through the same)

"What will other people think? What will my family think?" is something constantly on my mind whenever I make any friends, and im only recently realizing that it really does not matter what they do think what matters is one's own happiness.

Not sure where I am going with this post I just wanted to write it out for a few days now and I finally did it <3 have a swag day

Yet another christmas themed monster drawing. Can you tell what my current hyperfixation is?

Polysquad Week Day 3: Vivid Old Tale