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eideticallys · 2 days

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Stay With Me

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: "you’ve been shot countless times, huh?” “that sounded a bit more reassuring in my head.”

genre: angst & fluff

word count: 1.1k

author's notes: almost a year of no writing, but i'm finally home (i posted a new fic)! it's been one hectic year for me. uni was crazy & i started my clinical rotations. plus, i did my thesis & it even got a distinction mark so i'll be presenting it at a research congress pretty soon (yay!). with that, i'm really sorry for ghosting ao3 & tumblr. i couldn't find the time to insert it in between uni & breaking down lol. anyway, i'll be posting a lot more while i'm on break. i hope you'll enjoy reading my first fic after a year of zzz. have fun! also posted on ao3 (spencereids).

YOU CAN HEAR SIRENS AND PEOPLE SHOUTING.

They say when you are knocking on death’s door, hearing is the last of your senses you will lose. If you’re dying, you don’t know it. Nothing makes sense at the moment. It’s all just blurry hues of blues and reds and shouting—Stay with me—the smell of something metallic. The only thing you’re sure of right now is that your head hurts and it seemed like a van ran right through you with how achy your body feels right now.

Who’s that? You mused. Why are they yelling at me? I’m right here. You turned your head slightly and tried to open your eyes.

It’s quite the task.

“T-That’s it,” The person, whom you think was yelling at you, said. “Stay with me, Y/N. Don’t close your eyes.”

You groaned and gripped the person's hand tightly as if to stand up, but you couldn't. Everything ached. And the person holding you, just kept on talking, their voice a low murmur at first. But even through the haze of pain, it was starting to sound familiar. You recognized that dulcet tone, the rich, smooth sound that could captivate your attention with random facts or lull you to sleep with equal ease.

The voice, you realized with a flicker of a smile, belonged to Spencer, its familiar cadence a warm current cutting through the blossoming pain.

“Reid?” You croaked.

Your throat’s dryer than any other desert in existence right now. And you sound worse than you look—you think—you don’t know for sure, except the fact that you can’t move much.

“It’s me,” Spencer chuckled while sniffling. “I’m right here.”

“What’s going on?”

Even through the haze of pain, a new wave of discomfort bloomed in your shoulder, sharp and insistent. Before you could react and get up, Spencer's hand tightened on yours, his voice laced with a tremor you'd never heard before. "Don't move, Y/N. You've been shot."

He applied pressure on your wound—which you just noticed. The pain hit you in a delayed wave, a white-hot stab that stole your breath. You hissed a weak sound that did little to mask the spike in your heart rate.

"Stop moving or you're gonna bleed out even more!" Spencer's voice, usually so calm and collected, was laced with a raw panic you'd never heard before.

"Easy there, tiger," you tried to joke, your voice raspy. "I've been through worse. I’ve been shot countless times. W-why are you so worried?"

The question came out in a shaky whisper, the concern evident in his voice a stark contrast to the usual intellectual debates you shared.

Spencer's grip tightened, momentarily cutting off your circulation. "Because you could have died, Y/N!" he snapped, his voice cracking with a choked sob. "You… you were…"

He trailed off, unable to put into words the terrifying image that had flashed before him when he saw you collapse, after hearing the sound of a bullet whizzing by and hitting you.

The sight of your vulnerability stripped away his usual composure, leaving a raw fear he couldn't conceal. It took him a moment to regain his composure, his voice softening as he continued, "You shouldn't be so glib about this. It was a nasty shot, close to a major artery."

Despite the pain, a warmth bloomed in your chest. You'd never seen Spencer like this, so shaken and afraid.

"Okay," you murmured, forcing a weak snicker. “I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, at least I got you to patch me up, right, Dr.Reid?"

A ghost of a smile glinted across his face, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Hold still," he mumbled, amused but also bothered at your dreadful timing for jokes. He applied pressure more gently this time. "You’ve been shot countless times, huh?”

“That sounded a bit more reassuring in my head” You quipped.

A bit lightheaded from the pain, you clutched Spencer’s hand. The shriek of approaching sirens and the glare of headlights cut through the haze. You struggled to focus on the lifeline thrown in a storm of confusion.

"They're here," Spencer said, his voice tight. A sheen of sweat beaded on his forehead, a stark contrast to his usual cool composure.

"About time," you rasped, trying to lighten the mood. The effort cost you a fresh wave of dizziness, the world tilting slightly on its axis.

To which, Spencer shot you a look that was half-annoyed, half-worried. "Don't try to be a hero. You're losing a lot of blood. Any movement can dislodge the clot forming in your wound, renewing the bleeding. So, stop moving!"

"Just keeping things interesting," you mumbled, the words slurring slightly. “Wouldn’t want my last moments here on earth to be so grim…”

Spencer's jaw clenched for a moment, then he sighed, the sound heavy with relief. "You always were a pain," He muttered, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. You’re going to be okay, he thought.

The sirens reached a fever pitch, pulling up right beside you. A flurry of activity erupted as paramedics swarmed, the rest of the team trying to make sure you were tended to and that you were going to be okay, their movements a bit panicked but practiced, and efficient. Relief washed over you, a sweet wave that threatened to pull you under.

"Hold on, Y/N," Spencer said, his voice desperate despite the composure of his words. He kept his hand pressed firmly on your wound, his touch a grounding anchor in the chaos. “Help is here. Everyone’s here. Just… stay with me, okay?"

"Going somewhere," you slurred, your eyelids drooping.

"No, you're not," he said fiercely, his voice barely a whisper above the shouts of the paramedics. "You're coming with us."

You coughed a sharp rasp that sent a jolt of pain through your shoulder. "Stats say shoulder wounds aren't usually fatal," you wheezed, trying to distract yourself from the ache.

Spencer's hand stilled for a moment, looking at you like you’ve grown a second head. "What?"

"Yeah," you continued, your voice weak but persistent. "L-look, I get it, you're scared. But statistically, shoulder wounds aren't as serious..." Your voice trailed off as a wave of nausea washed over you.

"Maybe you shouldn't be reciting medical statistics right now," Spencer said sharply, his voice laced with a hint of panic.

“S-shouldn’t that be my line, boy genius?” You continued to joke, as the world dissolved into a scramble of flashing lights and blurry faces.

The last thing you registered was the feel of Spencer's hand tightening around yours, his touch a silent promise that resonated louder than any siren.

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clownery-and-fuckery · 1 day

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God how did I not post this before.... I've got some soft stuff just for you

"We're home."

Tech felt his breath catching at the sight of Pabu. After so long, after so much hurt‐ the planet had never looked so pretty.

Still, staring at the surface, as their impending arrival grew closer and closer, Tech's bandaged hands squeezed around the yoke reflexively. He felt a trickle of nervousness sweep down his artificial spine.

Omega and Wrecker, looking battered, stared and leaned over the console with such enthusiasm, it was easy to forget what they had gone through to get here. What they had needed to fight for to make it back.

Hunter seemed to sense his anxiety, because he squeezed Tech's uninjured shoulder.

"S'okay, little one," He murmured, the term of endearment more frequently used now that he finally had his youngest brother home to hold. "We're right here."

Echo shooed their overly enthusiastic siblings away from the console, telling them to prep for landing– and make sure Crosshair wouldn't hide in the ship.

As Tech hesitated, he was given a sympathetic glance. "You also can't hide," He said softly. "But you won't need to– they're happy to have you back."

Tech wasn't sure how happy they would be once they saw him. What he had become, what he had done. His armour still clung too painfully tight to his skin, the helmet still felt attached to his aching jaw.

After so long of having it lock and stinging as it was held shut, open– and dare he try remember when he was still close enough to his brothers– caressed, Tech locking it himself was soothing in comparison.

The lengths he had needed to go to seemed so... pointless, if he couldn't even bring himself to enjoy the end result. He had his family back, his life, his home– why wasn't he happy? Why wasn't he thrusting the ship forward, hurtling down to where he knew everyone wanted to go?

He wanted to go home, too. Desperately.

He just- seemed to forget where it was. Had the coordinates wrong- everything felt wrong. His hands, his legs, his face his mind his eyes his skin oh stars his skin felt so hot and itchy and wrong—

He was jolted from him twisted mind when the landing gear engaged and they settled a bit shakily on Pabu's surface. Tech blinked, mind hazy and reality warped as he felt the soothing, warm rays of the sun on his skin.

When was the last time he had felt that?

Hunter squeezed him, turned him around in his chair. "I know this is a lot," He said, kneeling and putting his hand on Tech's arm, rubbing at the flesh there, hidden under armour. "But you're safe now. Here, with us, and.. and we'll heal. You'll be okay, Tech, I promise."

Nodding jerkily, Tech tried to pretend that he believed his brother. That he would walk out there, brave as always, and Hemlock's touch would be nothing more than a memory- rather than the oppressive, vivid phantom he felt, creeping up his spine, fingers gliding over him like a warning—

"Vodiʻka," Echo spoke now. "It's time to go."

Was it? Tech looked around again, out the port view. Omega, Wrecker and Hunter were already greeting Shep, Crosshair close by.

They looked happy. He didn't– couldn't find it in him to ruin that when he had caused so much of their suffering.

A hand smoothed through his hair. "I know," Echo whispered. "It's not easy, coming back. But you'll manage, you always do. And- I'm here, when you're ready to talk about it."

Talk about it.

Talk about Tantiss, about Hemlock. About... about what had happened to him.

Tech bit back a shiver at the thought. He couldn't imagine ever telling them what had really happened. They might not let him back in if he did.

"Let's go." Echo was pulling him, and before Tech could lose himself in the familiar haze- the comfort of do not move until he's done with you, just stay still until it's over, comply– Tech stood on the ramp, watching Pabu again.

He did not look through CX-2's lenses. Only his own.

He took a small breath, and paused. Fresh air. Tech subtlety gulped in another, greedy breath of Pabu's air. It felt so good- he had forgotten what it felt like.

He watched for a long time, wondering if any of this was his place anymore. Considering that he may be safer on the ship. At least there he could see through the rays. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe he should stay on the ship.

Maybe he should go back to Heml—

"Brown Eyes?"

Tech stilled, his whole brain shutting down again. It did that often, these days. Regressing and curling back into old routines he had used as a cadet to stay safe.

He looked up, eyes wide as he caught her eye across the courtyard.

"Phee."

She looked as beautiful as she had the night he left. She watched him, and his brother's shared a look, letting her past as she took an unsteady step towards him.

He wasn't... sure why he moved the way he had. It was similar to how he moved when he had first seen his brother's. Simply, he was overwhelmed and needed to know they were real.

So, Tech allowed his feet to carry him down the ramp, less than graciously, and he stumbled into a run as he barrelled towards Phee.

His first real connection outside their squad. Their conversations were just for them, their relationship was private- he hadn't needed to share, for once, and he loved it.

He loved her- who so kindly and fiercely lived and breathed to explore and protect what she valued. He felt warm just thinking he was on that list—

Was he- still on that list? His brain caught up to his body as he dared slow down in panic, because what if this was all just him and she would push him back, reject him like others had before? What if he truly was impossible to—

Phee crashed into him without warning, and Tech let out a choked sound as they toppled. The panicked cries of the others, the sting of his injuries against concrete was forgotten as he was enveloped, encased in Phee.

Her arms squeezed him so perfectly, just the right amount of pressure, to break his resolve and train of thought.

He hadn't even realised his arms were around her, that he was babbling, tears coming from somewhere he as heaved and sobbed into her shoulder.

He felt her tears stain him, too, as she wept and laughed into his shoulder. "I missed you," She ended up whining, smiling so wide her cheeks hurt. "You karking asshole- that's not what I meant when I said—"

Tech brightened, tears still falling with no sign of stopping. "I didn't run away with a pirate!" He interrupted, unsure of why he was so very proud of that little detail. "Just as you told me to."

Phee, still on top of him, such a comforting weight he found pulling closer to have for longer, laughed so brightly he believed his siblings earlier joy was enough to forget. He certainly could, if she kept laughing like that.

"Good job," She smiled down at him, and as she looked at him so lovingly, he finally felt as brave as he used to, and quickly leaned up, pressing an inexperienced kiss to her cheek before hugging her again.

"I– I missed you, as well," He admitted into her frozen shoulder. "More than I can say."

He felt her push him back. He paused, and in a moment of confusion, he felt his heart freeze and splinter. Of course it wouldn't be that simple- he had ruined her home, destroyed Pabu- why would he think he had any right to- to want comfort from someone he stole from?

He let out another, shakier sob, apology on the tip of his tongue as his jaw went slack, mouth open—

Only for her to catch his lips, kissing the apology away with a swipe of her tongue. "Better have," She whispered into his mouth. "Been waiting for you to do that, Brown Eyes, what took so long?"

His whole being flushed. "Ah-.." He said, floundering. Phee laughed again, sweet, and she helped them to their feet.

They stared at each other, her thumb caressing his cheek, and he leaned into the contact, the surge of adrenaline from.... everything seeping from him at her touch.

He slumped into her, completely spent. His knees knocked as his legs collapsed under him. He wished he had been given more warning as Phee let out a shout, holding him up suddenly.

He couldn't think to care- not when his brain melted under the sun and his body finally seemed to want to relax- to rest.

Stars, he needed to rest. He felt so tired..

"Tech–?!" Hunter's voice called, sharp with panic.

"M'okay," He mumbled over the gradual uptake of fear. His siblings settled, closing in around him. He felt safe, with them all there.

"Just..." He trailed off, a warm, wide smile gracing him. Maybe it was the safety he felt to feel, maybe it was the lack of sleep. His voice dropped to a whisper as he met his family's eyes over Phee's steady shoulder.

"Just... happy I'm home."

tech lives shut up. he said so himself from my attic.

#sw the bad batch #tbb tech #phee genoa #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #tbb echo #pheetech

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jozor-johai · 2 days

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Days, Moons, Snow, and Letters: Proposing an new timeline for the ADWD North

The timeline you think you know around Jon's death is wrong, and this post is to show you why. Every discussion about who really wrote the Pink Letter is missing a crucial detail: Jon dies a month before Tycho Nestoris even reaches the Crofter's Village.

Yes, I am aware this sounds like an unbelievable claim. I would love for someone to convincingly prove me wrong, and if you believe you can, please let me know. However, I am reaching this conclusion using only the facts, which I will break down for you here.

Based on Asha's careful count of the days in The King's Prize and The Sacrifice, Jon's account of the moons from Jon VII onward, and Asha's, Theon's, and Jon's account of the snowstorm around Winterfell, I believe I can convincingly argue that by the time Tycho Nestoris arrives at Stannis' camp at the end of The Sacrifice—before any battle has taken place at all—Jon has already been dead for a month.

Very long (and dry) explanation below the cut. Please enjoy.

At the end, there's a Timeline breakdown illustrating the rough outline by the day, so don't worry if my tally of the weeks starts to get confusing, there is a clarifying list at the end.

The intuitive version—where George is giving us helpful hints

Jon VII, The Prince of Winterfell, and The King’s Prize.

In The King’s Prize, Stannis’ host sets out from Deepwood Motte. Because this is important for timing everything else, let's call this Day 0.

In Jon VII, during a new moon, Jon receives a letter informing him of this plan ("we march against him")—I believe we can sync these events as occurring roughly contemporary to one another, with Jon VII happening a few days later. For ease later on, let's say Jon VII happens ~0.5 weeks after Asha departs Deepwood; this is ~Day 3.

Very shortly after that is Prince of Winterfell and Jeyne’s marriage: during this chapter, Roose receives word that Stannis has left Deepwood Motte. Allowing for just a bit more wiggle room (for Arnolf Karstark to have received a similar update as Jon did, and then to forward that information to ahead to Roose) we can place Prince of Winterfell fairly soon after Jon VII, itself after The King’s Prize begins. Let's call this ~Day 6.

Theon in Winterfell

Thanks to Asha keeping track of the days to the number, we know that Stannis' host spends at least 34 days on the march (Asha notes that "On the thirty-second day" grain ran out, at least two more days pass—the day "Lord Peasebury turned against the northmen" and "The next day the king's scouts chanced upon an abandoned crofters' village") and then Stannis' camp spends an additional 19 days at the Crofter's Village before Tycho and Theon arrive ("they had been three days from winterfell for nineteen days"). Therefore, we can almost exactly place Theon's arrival at the Crofter's Village no sooner than 53 days from the time they left Deepwood Motte. (It's possible, but not necessary, to insert more days between 32 and the Peasebury day, and we're trying to keep this march as short as possible.)

Therefore, the entirety of Theon’s Winterfell arc occurs during this time, since Prince of Winterfell starts right after the announcement that Stannis has begun to march, and because accounting for a ~3 days' ride between WF and the Village, Theon I occurs ~3 days before The Sacrifice. We can actually reasonably sync these chapters, but for the most part we don’t really have to—Ghost of Winterfell begins four days prior to Theon I, so that only needs to align with Tycho's arrival, and the Turncloak can just happen somewhere in between. But:

The one interesting thing to note is the snow in The Turncloak, when snow begins to fall heavily ("by nightfall snow was coming down so heavily"), and the snowstorm begins. However, it is also in this chapter that two scouts return to inform Roose that Stannis’ host has begun to break apart in the snow and had "slowed to a crawl". Comparing that to Asha's updates, this is at the earliest ~1 week into the march by Asha’s count, or anytime afterward ("fourth day of the march... snow began to fall" + "third day of snow, the king's host had begun to come apart"). So, by the time it starts snowing at Winterfell, or Asha, it's already been snowing a few days, at minimum. Accounting for additional travel time back to Winterfell from wherever Stannis is, and considering that this report comes just as Winterfell is getting snow, that means Stannis’ host got the snow roughly over a week before the snow reached Winterfell.

Almost like the snowstorm is following Stannis there. ;)

Asha's Days

As for Asha and Jon’s storyline—where it actually matters here—it appears remarkably easy to compare time:

I believe Asha counting the days must be an exercise with narrative importance, and it's incredibly useful. As I said above, we can pin nearly to the day how much time elapsed from the beginning of Stannis’ march from Deepwood Motte until their arrival at the Crofter’s Village (no less than 34 days, cited above) and then add another 19 days at the Crofter’s Village in advance of Tycho’s arrival.

Together, the time from the beginning of The King’s Prize to the end of The Sacrifice is, at minimum, 53 days. Let's say Theon and Asha reunite on Day 53.

TWOW Theon appears to occur just before dawn the next day, and since The Battle at the Crofter’s Village appears to begin immediately after TWOW Theon ends, we’ll say that the Battle, therefore, is Day 54, or 7 weeks and 5 days following Stannis' departure from Deepwood Motte.

Jon's Moons

Meanwhile, every subsequent Jon chapter gives us either a moon phase or an account of days past:

Jon VII occurs during a new moon ("They had no moon to guide them home, and only now and then a patch of stars.") The weather is notably clear, clear enough that it's a plot element: this is the reason for heading to the weirwood grove now. When Jon returns he get the news of Stannis’ departure from Deepwood. We've allowed for some raven time, so we're calling this ~Day 3.

(As an aside, it’s been storming the last seven days, so the latest Mance could have left is a week prior, though obviously since we’re syncing this with Prince of Winterfell, Mance likely left earlier than that.)

Jon VIII occurs just before the half moon, about a week later. A moon "but half-full," to quote the text exactly. This is when Val departs to find Tormund. I interpret "but" to mean just before half-full, so we'll say this is 6 days later: ~Day 9.

Val says she will return on the "first night of the full moon." No one ever says she’s late, and Jon never worries about her being gone too long, so we can assume this is true—Val returns on the first night of the full moon, with Tormund, in Jon X. We can even be generous and say this is ~9 days later, and say Jon X occurs ~Day 18.

Since Val leaves in Jon VIII and returns a week later in Jon X, then Jon IX has just over a week’s period to occur. If we’re being generous, we can say this occurred only a few days after Jon VIII, around the actual half moon. Let's say Jon IX happens ~Day 11.

In Jon IX, Selyse arrives and declares she intends to stay “no more than a few days,” and while this prediction is not a trustworthy source, it might give us some kind of ballpark. Jon also notes the weather is clear in the morning for once, calling it a “respite.” He thinks the snows have "moved off to the south" (to Stannis?) but by the evening, the snow is "coming down more heavily". The next day, Tycho appears to be gone, and Alys arrives.

So: Tycho appears to leave just over 1 week after Jon VII, when Jon received word that Stannis planned to march on Winterfell. This way, it makes intuitive sense that Jon sent Tycho to Deepwood Motte—barely any time has passed. It seems entirely possible that Stannis had yet to leave, or at least that Tycho could catch up with him on the march. So far, this feels entirely believable and logical.

In Jon X, Alys weds. Flint and Norrey have "hied" (hurried) to Castle Black for the Wedding, which is possible if we've said that Jon IX was ~1 week ago. The snow is still falling "heavily". Jon receives a letter confirming that eleven ships have left Eastwatch for Hardhome (likely a few days prior). Val arrives that night—our full moon, we presume. Again, this is Day ~18.

Jon XI begins the next morning. ("that day" until "finally, as the shadows of the afternoon grew long"). There is no place to fit any time in between here and Jon IX, because this chapter includes Jon showing Val her new quarters ("I've had the top floor made ready for you"). This is ~Day 19.

Also in Jon XI, Jon notes that the snow has finally stopped after two weeks ("a fortnight"). The last time we know the weather was clear for more than a few hours (so clear it was a plot point!) was Jon VII, when Jon went to the weirwood grove. By our count of the moon, Jon VII was two weeks ago, so this lines up exactly.

Tycho

So: we've said Tycho leaves in Jon IX, which is just over a week since Jon VII. If, at an estimate, we're saying Jon VII probably occurred about a half a week after Stannis actually left, Tycho departed Castle Black 1.5 weeks into Stannis' march. Again—he could catch up here, so makes sense that Jon sends Tycho to Deepwood Motte first.

Meanwhile, thanks to Asha, we know Tycho makes it to Stannis’ camp 7.5 weeks after their departure, on Day 53. If we are roughly syncing the start of The King’s Prize half a week before Jon VII, and seeing Tycho set out from Castle Black only a week later, then Tycho takes ~6 weeks to reach Stannis, and he’s not a teleporting banker at all. ~42 days is plenty of time to reach Deepwood Motte, negotiate the exchange of hostages, travel to Winterfell in the storm, grab Theon, and then make it back to Stannis’ camp. Again, this makes sense.

Jon X—Jon XIII

However, we now run into the problem of how much time has passed since Tycho left.

We said before that Jon X and Jon XI (the next day) occur ~1 week after Tycho departs. Jon XI is ~Day 19.

After that, Jon XII occurs exactly three days following Jon XI—there’s no space to add any extra time here. In Jon XI, Tormund and Jon agree to let the Wildlings through in three days' time, and Jon XII follows that event proceeding as scheduled. We can safely place Jon XII ~1.5 weeks following Tycho’s departure. Jon XII is ~Day 22.

Jon XIII is the only remaining Jon chapter without a moon phase or a clear date. However, there are a number of events that demand it be soon after Jon XII.

First, there's Tormund's return. Back in Jon XII, Jon says Tormund will take men to Oakenshield in “within a day or two.” In Jon XIII, Toregg returns in the morning to announce that Tormund has settled his people at Oakenshield and is returning in the afternoon. Tormund arrives that afternoon.

Then, there's the matter of Hardhome. In Jon XII, he recieves news of the disaster at Hardhome ("Very bad here. Wildlings eating their own dead"). Jon XIII begins with Jon and Selyse discussing Hardhome, seemingly for the first time; Jon later discusses a Hardhome ranging with Marsh and Yarwyck, also for the first time; Melisandre also tries to stop Jon from leaving for Hardhome, also for the first time. Jon XIII occurs as soon as Jon makes the plan to leave for Hardhome. He sounds hurried; he says "they are starving at Hardhome by the thousands," and he makes a plan with Leathers to arrange the meeting in the Shieldhall in time for Tormund's return from Oakenshield—the only thing holding them up from leaving is Tormund's return.

Up to you how long you think Jon would have waited to discuss this—I don't think very long. In order to argue that more time passes between Jon XII and Jon XIII, we need to argue that Jon hears of the starving Wildlings eating their own dead and waits for weeks before acting.

Additionally, Cregan Karstark is taken out of the Ice Cells in Jon XIII after having been imprisoned there sometime before Jon X. Considering Jon X and Jon XII have to be four days apart, that's fine, and we might imagine that Cregan has been there for maybe over a week, or more. However, Jon spent four days in an ice cell in ASOS Jon X and in this time Alliser Thorne threatened that Jon would "die in there." With that comparison, we're limited in the timeline by imagining how much longer than ~1 week we can keep Cregan Karstark alive in the ice cells prior to his release in Jon XIII without him freezing to death first.

Soon after, the Bastard Letter arrives, and Jon is killed.

Personally, I think it’s most likely that Jon XIII occurs only a few days following Jon XII. If I’m feeling generous, I’d say we can put Jon XIII ~1 week following Jon XII, and being generous we’ll say that Jon dies ~2.5 weeks after Tycho departs Castle Black. That is, therefore, 3.5 weeks after Jon first heard word that Stannis was leaving Deepwood Motte, and (we're guessing) ~4 weeks after Stannis actually left.

So Jon dies on ~Day 30. By this count, Jon's dead, and Tycho Nestoris still won’t arrive at the Crofter’s Village for another ~3.5 weeks—he can't come any faster, Asha's been counting.

Next, I'm going to propose (and acknowledge) the ways that other versions of this timeline will fix this problem, though I don't like them exactly. Then, afterwards, I'm going to give a last piece of evidence why I believe in the version of events I've just described.

If you're unintersted in "what-ifs," scroll down to "The Snowstorm"

The Less Intuitive Version—where George sneaks in "The Mystery Month"

Because I'm arguing that Jon appears to die on ~Day 30, and Tycho doesn't even reach Asha until Day 53, in order for us to believe Jon XIII happened after TWOW Theon, we’d need to invent a month to add in to Jon’s storyline. Jon XIII has to occur after Day 60, at minimum.

I call this the “Mystery Month”—is there a missing month in Jon’s storyline, or isn’t there?

There a couple ways to make this happen, and I'll explain why I don't believe them.

The trouble with slow ravens

Number one, across the board, it feels very tempting to add buffer time by imagining that Stannis left Deepwood Motte even earlier than we estimate—maybe a whole week, or even longer, before Jon hears about it in Jon VII. The main issue with this strategy is that Stannis has to send the letter, so the raven leaves at latest when Stannis does, and so now we're arguing that a raven takes over a week to fly to reach Jon .... which means that now we're also adding additional estimated time for how long it took a raven to deliver the Pink Letter, and everything has to be pushed even earlier.

That is to say: if we said it takes two weeks for word to reach Jon before Jon VII, I would say now the "battle" in the Pink Letter has to happen weeks earlier to account for this extended raven time.

The long wait before Jon XIII

The first, simplest way to add a month, is that we say this: Jon XIII happens a month after Jon XII. It took Jon a month to plan for and to bring up Hardhome to Selyse, Selyse has waited over month to plan her weddings with Gerrick Kingsbloods’ daughters, and Tormund has been at Oakenshield for over a month. The Letter arrives a month after the Wildlings come through, and so long as the King’s Prize also began over a week before Jon gets the Letter about it in Jon VII, we can make this work. Tycho arrives on time, we skip ahead a month before Jon XIII, and then Jon dies after the battle.

Yes, this could be how it happens, No I do not think that it's convincingly possible that Jon XIII happens a month after Jon XII.

If we don't want to try to force in a lot of time between Jon XII and Jon XIII, there are a few other ways to attempt to solve this (though these are still three timelines of entirely my own invention):

Skipping a moon before Jon VIII

We could add a month in between Jon VII and Jon VIII, where Jon VIII is not the waxing half moon following Jon VII’s new moon, but the one after that. We're locked in at the moon cycle, so instead of one week, this has to be a ~5 week gap. The major issue with this is: we’ve lined up Jon VII roughly with the beginning of Stannis’ march, and Tycho still hasn’t arrived at Castle Black yet. If we place Jon IX right after Jon VIII again, we'll add a month to our previous estimate of Jon IX can say that Tycho leaves ~Day 39.

With this timeline, Tycho has ~2 weeks to catch up with Stannis’ host, reaching both Deepwood Motte and Winterfell along the way. This seems unbelievably fast (considering that Deepwood to Winterfell alone was over two weeks in good weather).

The thing is, that doesn’t even matter: since this doesn’t change our earlier estimate of how long Jon has left to live after Tycho’s departure (~2.5 weeks), that still means Jon dies roughly around the same time Tycho arrives.

There's an even bigger logical issue here: in this scenario, that means Jon, who heard five weeks ago that Stannis is marching on Winterfell—which is apparently a two-week march ("fifteen days")—still sent Tycho to Deepwood Motte to catch Stannis. Why would Tycho go to Deepwood first, and not Winterfell, if Jon learned Stannis marched five weeks before Tycho left? It's true that it happened to work out, but Jon wouldn't have known, at this point, how snowed in Stannis is.

The Val takes three weeks version

Alternatively, here everything is spread out more, which is closer in spirit to what the Unofficial Timeline suggests.

We can try to give both Val and Tycho a little more time before Val's return, but we’re always trapped in a moon cycle between Jon VIII and Jon X because otherwise Val’s promise to return at the full moon doesn’t make any sense. The best way to do this is to imagine that Val leaves on a waning half moon, rather than waxing half moon. This means that Val has three weeks to travel, and it also means we have move Jon VIII to three weeks after Jon VII (and therefore ~3 weeks into King’s Prize). Here, Jon VIII is ~Day 24.

(However, this is counterintuitive—it’s more natural to imagine that being shown a half moon following a new moon would mean the waxing half moon. Also, I believe it goes contrary to the actual description: Jon notes the moon was “but half full,” and the “but” makes it seem like it will be half-full soon, not that it just was. Again, we can allow it. This also means that when Val looks at the half-moon and says: look for me at the first week of the full moon, she doesn’t mean next week, she means in ~3 weeks from now—after the moon has gone to new and then back to full again. Once again, this feels very counterintuitive to say, but it will give us more time.)

In this version of events, Tycho and Alys can still arrive as early as right after Jon VIII, and therefore that Tycho left Castle Black ~3 weeks after Jon VII, roughly around ~Day 26. (Once again, this doesn’t make too much intuitive sense to me: why would Jon send Tycho to Deepwood Motte three weeks into a two-week march?)

This doesn’t change our count of time from Jon X—Jon XIII (a generous ~1.5 weeks) but now we’re saying say that Tycho left Castle Black three weeks prior to Jon X, so this gives us 4.5 weeks between Tycho’s departure and Jon’s death.

This solves the issue of the teleporting banker: Tycho leaves ~3 weeks into Stannis’ march and has ~4.5 weeks to make the trip, so he’s faster than Stannis but not impossibly fast. However, because the moon phases are still locking our ability to only month here for the moon to align, we still have Tycho arriving roughly the same time Jon dies.

Mystery Month+

Since we're trapped into a vague schedule by Jon's noted moon cycles, the only remaining option is to assume that one of the above is true, and that Jon XIII happens at least two weeks after Jon XII. That would also make the timeline work.

However, to me, this all seems highly counterintuitive and unlikely…

And that’s before we factor in the accounts of the weather.

Yes, I have one more piece of evidence to propose, and although this is a bit more debatable, I believe it corroborates my initial timeline.

The Snowstorm

Asha sets out from Deepwood Motte, and four days later, the snows begin. By a week into the march ("third day of snow"), the host has begun to separate, and slow to a crawl.

Around this time, or a little later, we imagine the Bolton scouts see the Stannis host struggling, and turn home to report back. Several days later, accounting for vague travel time (because Stannis is less than halfway to Winterfell by this point), they report this to Roose, and it begins to snow in Winterfell, too. Let's say, roughly, it begins snowing at Winterfell around ~2 weeks after Stannis departs, maybe adding a couple days. This is when The Turncloak happens—let's say ~Day 16.

Remember what I said about the snow in The Turncloak being interesting?

In Jon VII (at my estimate, ~Day 3) the weather is clear—clear enough that Jon heads north of the Wall. If we're aligning these moments, this seems to be true for Stannis, too.

The first we hear of snows to the south in Jon IX ("moved off to the south"), and in Jon X, we hear that south of Castle Black the "kingsroad was said to be impassable" from snowstorms. In Jon XIII, Yarwyck points out that the Wall is getting snow blown against it because the "wind's from the south". This is three different accounts of harsh weather to the south, and all of this points to this being the storm at Winterfell.

If we go back to my original timeline, Stannis leaves Deepwood Motte a little before Jon VII, and Jon X occurs two weeks later around ~Day 18. In that timeline, then those reports of impassable snows to the south line up exactly with when the snows appear to have hit Winterfell, from our estimation of the sync between King’s Prize and Turncloak. Snows hit Winterfell roughly ~Day 16, Jon gets reports that the Kingsroad is impassable ~Day 18. That lines up.

According to my proposed timeline, this is still four or five weeks before Tycho Nestoris arrives. A week later, in Jon XIII, when the winds from the south are only getting worse… that fits, because Asha and Theon have another three or four weeks of snow to go. And Jon is dead.

The End

TL;DR: Comparing Jon’s tracking of the moon, Asha’s tracking of the days, and accounts of the snowstorm around Winterfell all lead me to believe that Jon dies four weeks before Tycho Nestoris reaches the Crofter’s Village.

In my proposed timeline: Tycho leaves ~1 week after Stannis does, he takes ~6 weeks to make it to the Crofter’s Village, and Jon’s already been dead for a month. So, there's been a month since. This way, Jon sending Tycho to Deepwood makes sense, and Tycho taking 6 weeks to make the journey makes sense. The accounts of the snowstorms line up.

What doesn't make sense is: the Pink Letter arrives over a month too early to be real.

Implications

But what could I possibly be saying? I don't even really know. This is such an unusual conclusion that there is very little theorizing in the fandom about what this would mean.

.... Although, I do have a pet theory for this: it does feed into my desire for the Wildlings to make a surprise appearance in TWOW.

Take this with a grain of salt. BUT. We know from AGOT that it usually takes ~3 weeks to travel from Castle Black to Winterfell. That means that a Wildling host would have a month, or even five weeks, depending on timing, to have marched from Castle Black to Winterfell afterward, and could arrive at Winterfell right on time for Stannis to advance. If that were the case, it could explain why Stannis seems so unhurried at the Crofter's Village. Maybe he's waiting for them to arrive. It could work that way. I'm not getting into any other logistics here, because this is a tall tale to defend.

On the other hand, as much work as this was, I’d love to be proven wrong here! It's all in the name of science, if by science I mean obsessive analysis of fiction. If someone has a detail I’ve missed, please let me know.

TIMELINE

Day 0: King's Prize: Stannis Marches. The King's Prize begins.

Day ~3: Jon VII: New moon, word from Stannis.

Day 4: King's Prize: Snow begins for Asha.

Day ~6: Prince of Winterfell. Word from Arnolf that Stannis marches on Winterfell.

Day 7: King's Prize: Stannis' host begins to break apart in the snow.

Day ~9: Jon VIII: ~Half moon, Val departs and will return in ~a week.

Day ~11. Tycho Nestoris arrives and Jon sends him to Deepwood Motte. Jon notes it seems there are snows off to the south.

Day 15: King's Prize: Stannis has moved less than half the distance.

Day ~16. The Turncloak. It begins to snow heavily in Winterfell.

Day ~18. Jon X. Val returns, new moon. It's snowing heavily in Castle Black. Word comes that the Kingsroad south of Castle Black is impassable from heavy snow.

Day ~19. Jon XI. Jon meets with Tormund, shows Val her new quarters. Wildlings cross in three days.

Day 20. King's Prize: Asha loses her ankle chains because her horse dies.

Day ~22. Jon XII. The wildlings cross. Clear in the morning but Tormund notes snow will start again overnight. Tormund plans to go to Oakenshield in a day or two. Word of the Hardhome disaster.

Day 26. King's Prize: Stannis' host runs out of vegetables.

*Day ~30. Jon XIII, by my estimate. Jon plans to leave for Hardhome. Strong winds blowing snow from the south. Tormund returns from Oakenshield. Bastard Letter, Jon dies.

Day 32. King's Prize: Stannis' host runs out of grain.

Day 34. King's Prize: Stannis' host reaches the Crofter's Village.

Day 45. The Karstarks arrive at the Crofter's Village. (The Sacrifice)

Day 47. The Ghost in Winterfell: Ryswell man-at-arms found dead. Snow makes visibility outside Winterfell near-zero.

Day 48. Ghost in Winterfell: Aenys Frey's squire found dead in the morning. Flint crossbowman found dead in the afternoon. Stable collapses at night.

Day 49: Ghost in Winterfell: Yellow Dick found dead in the morning. Visibility so low Theon cannot see "three feet in front of him." Confrontation about whether Theon is the killer.

Day 50: Ghost in Winterfell: Theon stays up all night; just before the dawn the sounds of horns and drums outside wakes everyone Winterfell. Theon is found in the godswood by three of the spearwives and taken to meet Mance in the Burned Tower. Theon I: A raven arrives (from the Karstarks) informing Roose of Stannis' location. Theon and Jeyne escape and are found my Mors.

Day 53: The Sacrifice: Tycho Nestoris arrives with Theon, Jeyne, and the Ironborn from Deepwood Motte.

*Day 60: At minumum, earliest time Jon XIII can occur for the Pink Letter to be accurate.

#Genuinely curious what you all will have to say because I think I am actually fundamentally altering the discourse around the Pink Letter #jozor thoughts #asoiaf meta #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf analysis #Pink Letter #Bastard Letter #Jon Snow #asha greyjoy #theon greyjoy #asoiaf timeline #asoiaf fandom

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stickthroughthephases · 2 days

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Bi-Han headcanons from the top layer of my brain

He's just my little guy, a little rough but he's basically harmless

Cannot cook (freestyle wise), BUT he can chop like nobody’s business and he can also be very thorough because of his perfectionist tendencies so if you give him a recipe you will have an edible meal

Not a huge inside pet person, but I think if you were to bring in a pet he wouldn’t be opposed to it, he just doesn’t see any reason to engage with the pet

You don’t go shopping together very often as most of the supplies come in bulk month by month or for dairy, weekly. He likes to accompany you when you go which is why he schedules a day off, finds visiting town useful to understand how everything is working in the area and if there are any local threats

Most meals he eats alone or with his brothers, because of a tight self-imposed schedule but once he has a partner, he makes an effort to have at least one proper meal which usually ends up being dinner, especially if they aren’t a morning person

As I’ve mentioned here, I’m not entirely sure these guys have a meticulous hair care routine but if their partner offers, Bi-han would have no problem letting them handle his hair (you have to build up to that because of this post)

If his partner is free for the day, and he is just doing paperwork or sitting somewhere, he would like to have them nearby, if you read to him or talk his ear off it makes him feel good because he has issues

Issues include not having enough quality time with family and he realizes how lonely it’s made him even if he tried to hide it so he makes up for it in subtle ways like eating with his partner or just having their presence a few feet apart

I don’t think he would like to shower together, I think showers are very standard for him to simply get clean and exit and by having another person it takes more time so…solo showers…unless…

Slow writer, he likes his writing, for official documents at least, to be legible and pristine so he takes his sweet time writing. Sektor got him a computer but he didn’t like that so they compromised on a typewriter and Bi-han built speed and now writing documents doesn’t take five million years

He has a GREAT memory, not photogenic but damn near close, however, you best hope you don’t do something offensive to him, he can forgive but he’ll never forget

His bun is too tight, and he gets headaches but refuses to change up the style because it's the only one that gets the job done (if it’s really bad you might just catch him with his hair down in his office, near the end of the day whilst he meditates or trains)

*You know that scene from Modern Family when Jay gets Gloria fluffy slippers and she becomes nice, yeah that’s Bi-han, he’s a bit more mellow and pleasant to be around when his hair is down which is…not a lot but still*

If you guys like these, should I write headcanons for someone other than Bi-Han...?

#mortal kombat #mk1 #bi-han #mortal kombat 1 #lin kuei #Trying to think of original headcanons that aren't a pawn off of another person is hard because too cold/mean and he's not even a person #Please excuse his behaviour #he had a rough upbringing : (

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vixxensvoid · 17 hours

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For real, sometimes when I read fan stories about their meeting with Hayden at cons I am umcomfortable because it is often a bit too flirty/ too much and I am like wait... he is sleazy/inappropriate or it is just the fan who is delusional?

NO CUZ ITS SO AWKWARD AND GROSS. HOW LOW DO YOU THINK OF HIM???? YALL MAKING IT SOUND LIKE HES A PREDATOR AND SLEAZY. ITS SO DISRESPECTFUL AND GROSS. 10/10 it’s the fan being delusional. Hayden is polite and touchy with everyone. It’s not serious. He literally gives people cheek kisses and hugs even when the staff says not to. Man doesn’t care and is open to show affection. He isn’t madly in love with any fan 😭

He is literally just a sweetheart like let him live bro. He’s KNOWN to be touchy/feely, flirty and nice. ITS CALLED PERSONALITY GO GET SOME 😭😭😭⁉️ I swear y’all need to go outside and see how people interact. Just yesterday I got a dudes ig handle after talking to him for 5 mins and having a good smooth convo. No flirting no nothing, just two strangers talking and bonding. And I didn’t think anything of it. YK WHY??? CUZ IM NORMAL!!!

Not everything is a sexual advance or them confessing their love for you. Weird. It’s like those alpha males + porn addicts who think when a woman looks at them that they wanna fuck them. WEIRD. STOP IT. like sure in ur fanfics whatever but irl??? Y’all make it seem like he would be out here lurking looking for little fangirls to fall in love with or take advantage of. I reblogged @gallerygourmet’s post talking about it. It’s so weird how they think of Hayden that way. It’s gross. He wouldn’t take advantage of young female fans like that especially with having a daughter himself and people suspect he would cuz he’s known to be flirty and date a lot but like ??? The man has morals??? He literally said himself he would never date anyone younger than his sisters age. Be so fr. And even IF I am wrong (hopefully not 😭💔 girl don’t be Leo DiCaprio pls), we still don’t know his life and him personally so let it go??? GO FOCUS ON THE DAMN PALESTINIAN GENOCIDE AND OTHERS SUFFERING??? Like ??? Why you so obsessed over a man that doesn’t think about you. I joke, we all joke. But those are just jokes. Some take it too seriously and it’s concerning.

Also THANK YOU ANON! 😍💋💋💋 send more if you want I love this topic

@decaffeinatedunicorn @t03soup @anakinssith @avescorner-blog

Lmk if you wanna be tagged if you care abt the topic lol

also HES CANADIAN 💀😭😭 HELP I HAD TO OK. THOSE MFS LITERALLY KEEP THEIR DOORS UNLOCKED FOR NEIGHBORS JUST IN CASE THEY NEED A SAFE SPOT FROM THE BEARS AND LET EACH ITHER USE THEUR CARS BYE

#hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #star wars #vixx!asks #i love him #psychology #parasocial relationships #parasocial behavior

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heliqnthus · 2 days

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blasphemous rumors; g. dekarios.

pairing: gale dekarios x gn!reader

warning(s): post-game, angst, fluff, implied smut and voyeurism (but honestly, no real smut because i have no idea how to write one)

word count: ~1100

a/n: i had this idea, that also could be read as a gale version of that astarion graveyard scene, and i really wanted to write a fic about it. i have close to 0 of experience in writing fanfiction, as well as english is not my first language, so i apologize for any mistakes. if someone will enjoy this as well i will be more than happy :)

have a nice day, evening or a night!

(italic = part of a flashback)

after gale’s proposal, and not so long before departure to waterdeep, gale offered you one last stroll through the baldur’s gate, and as you were walking around the basilisk gate one building reminded you both of those times when he really considered the idea of using the orb against the absolute. as you were passing the stormshore tabernacle, gale couldn’t not stop to look at it one last time. place, where he spoke with mystra last time, demanding to bring the karsus’s crown to her.

-are you alright? – you asked gale, with a hint of concern. you were for more than hundred percent sure in him and his affections, just like was sure in you, however you more than any other person knew what mystra meant to him and what kind of person did she turn him into. right now, both of you are just glad that everything came to an end – including the whole story with mystra and orb, but still just her name makes you feel fury. what kind of goddess you have to be to not only ruin young man’s life, but also later on demanding on exploding himself for so-called “commonweal”.

as you were looking at tall statue of mother of all magic, you couldn’t feel anything but pure anger.

it is a late night, and all your companions were asleep, but insomnia gave you no rest, so you decided to take a midnight stroll in your hometown, trying to reminisce everything that has happened to you for the last days. fight with ketherick thorn and absolute cultists, rescue of night song, as well as shadowheart’s unexpected choice to abandon the idea of becoming the dark justiciar. but you couldn’t stop thinking about gale - as your and his feelings were blooming stronger than ever, you got to know more of his past, and as you were standing in front of tall, fine statue of mystra, you couldn’t feel anything but pure anger, fury. not because she is a former lover of gale’s, no. creatures meet and fall in love, and just like that creatures can fall out of love and break up, realising they’re not meant for each other. you were furious because you knew how mystra manipulated gale in this kind of relationship and what did she left him with. she used him, just like she did, and she will with other mages.

-i truly hope you hear me, o mother of all magic. i really wish i wasn’t standing here, in front of your statue, not even knowing whether i am speaking to you or the soulless statue of yours. – you felt your nails digging into palms, due to your anger, - not going to lie, obviously, i would come here with one intention only, to speak about gale, and… - here you stuttered, thinking what you could say. by the end of the day, you were no one to her right now, in some near future maybe a person who saved the sword coast. but why would she care about someone that small and mortal?

then why would you care about what she thinks?

-absolutely. – gale turned to you, smiling, - i just thought we might pay a visit to this shrine one last time, if you don’t mind, obviously.

-well- sure, why not. – you agreed with a bit of doubt, following gale into the shrine. you two were just observing the statues of gods and architecture of place, but deep inside you both knew why you came here. you could feel his anxiety, despite what he said a few days ago, just before to propose to you. yes, his orb “fell asleep”, he can finally restore his peace and can live the life he deserves – to love and being loved. but he knew this was also mystra’s doing, so he caught himself thinking that he shoud say some “thank yous”, or “goodbyes” to her.

however, as you and gale approached mystra’s statue, holding your hands, you could see in his eyes some kind of emotion you never saw, when it came to mystra. it was not hatred, sorrow or fright. it indiffrence, at last. indiffrence towards her and what she might think about him.

-while you are going to look at how mortal lives are being born, and then eventually how these exact mortal lives are facing death, and use other people like toys, i hope you will eventually find yourself thinking that gale dekarios owe you nothing, and never did.

for a mere second, you could swear that you felt weave from the statue, a feeling like she wanted to respond something. but then you felt nothing. perhaps you misunderstood weave for your own. or perhaps you were right, like always.

gale dekarios owe mystra nothing, and never did. you felt a true happiness for your fiancé, for finally letting go this part of his past.

-what’s on your mind? – you asked him, taking his second hand in yours, making him turn towards you. you meet with his eyes, that sparkled especially bright, as he was studying your face once more.

-you.

as you felt true happiness for him, letting go this part of his past, gale felt thrilled for realising that he got to meet his future with you.

-cheesy, - you smiled, feeling some blush appearing on your cheeks. you felt his hand slip on your hip, while the other was placed on your cheek, making you meet with his gaze. you could definetly see how his eyes (and maybe even hands) had an intention to undress you, but even for you it was a bit too much. the key word is “a bit”. as your mind was processing on what is going on, gale placed a tender, yet an unexpected kiss on your lips, as you tried to keep yourself on earth, holding the hem of his robes. as he parted from your lips, you tried to be indignant, but only managed to whisper since you two were still in the shrine:

-gale! what on earth are you doing? – you chuckle, while gale had gazed at you with love, stroking your hair.

-admiring my future wife, nothing special... – wizard murmured, - although i do have some idea. – he added, giving a mischief smile. you did not answer, just raised an eyebrow, awaiting what else he wants to say. – i am not insisting, just say no if you don’t want to do it.

you couldn’t hold yourself from smiling while being in gale’s embrace.

-i never said “no”, you know.

gladly, there were not a single soul in the house of worship at this time of night, so gale just had to spell an arcane lock on door, just in case. finished with surroundings, he quickly came back to his the centre of his world, locking up with you lips in much more passionate kiss than the previous one.

oh, but the night is still young.

#gale dekarios #gale dekarios x tav #gale dekarios x reader #gale of waterdeep #gale of waterdeep x reader #gale of waterdeep x tav #tav #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 fanfiction #x reader #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 x reader #bg3 x reader

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yesyoutubeisruiningmylife · 1 year

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oh did i tell you that i'm going on erasmus next semester hope it all wrks out

#i was so against it at first #but #my gals convinced me to apply #and also a moot here convinced me its an experience worth making #also #i know i would be disappointed in my self if i didnt at least see what its like #because this is kinda my last chance to go???#its not that far but its a middle ground for my comfort zone #excited!!!!#but also a lil scared #i post everything here so why not a bit more #random

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mattodore · 4 months

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somehow managed to make matthias look even more bitchy

#''river what happened to working on your werewolf oc? the one from yesterday?'' ……let's not discuss it i simply can't bear to talk about it #river dipping #matthias evanoff #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #simblr #did not need to edit this but we'll never see him with this hair again so i figured. sure why not spend a little bit of time on this #this looks very similar to his hair from when he was a child..... he had swoopy bangs and a middle part back then #...............staring at him like this i kind of want to eat him #kjfgksjfg #the messier his hair is the more i'm like Oh?#like italicized /Oh?/#….i have nothing else to say here like there was rlly no need for me to post this i just thought hm. he looks pretty <3 #i changed his jaw a bit and made his chin smaller… idk if it’s noticeable #theo is untouched (by the veronicas… classic) like i didn’t change his sim at all #…….can i be honest the reason why i abandoned ria’s sim is bc i realized fuck. i do NAWT have decent fem frame clothing #especially not for a butch lesbian sim like. why is everything a crop top….#tbf tho. i’m not mad about getting to look at alessandria’s happy trail #.................deep sigh. but i'm gonna go back to it rn.#i think i'll just leave her outfits like they used to be for now even tho i don't really like what she's wearing

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 month

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"To dream the impossible dream, that is my quest." - Prince Fernando of Asturias

+ Seb not getting what he ordered

+ the usual

Hello yes, look! It's baby Renault Fernando, isn't he so cute??? Who wouldn't want to force him into an arranged marriage, like cmon man be real. Here is the progress as usual, as well as his suit without the design, cause I'm pretty proud of it just blank even!

Okay so this is pure Fernando, innocent Fernando, before he had his apirations ripped way from him. Well not fully ripped away tbf, because that's the crux of his character: is it more humiliating to never succeed or to only succeed because someone handed it to you with concessions? I guess that's up for him to decide though ;;;

The thing I love about this drawing and young Fernando in general is how much easier it is to see his and Seb's similarities. Look how similar they look! Seb is just a bit more evil.

I think that's a big part as to why his feelings about Seb are so complicated. He both loves and hates how similar they are. From an egotistical point, he can appreciate and respect the familiar traits in Seb, the hunger, the exuberance, the pride, the ego. But also we hate seeing our own traits in other people, it's almost like turning a mirror on your worst traits and suddenly being able to see yourself from a new perspective. The biggest point here though is that Fernando turns that resentment onto Seb, as a way to clamp down on self hatred.

He becomes more bitter and resentful as he grows older, and loses a lot of his whimsy and joy. So it hurts him to see Seb, who in addition to getting everything he's ever wanted, also retain his whimsy. He, wrongly, just sees it as something that had to happen in order for him to grow up fully. It's more of a survival tactic, it started becoming unbefitting for him to have that level of unfounded confidence. That's the main reason he sees Seb as childish, immature and undeserving. He hasn't fully grown out of his capacity for whimsy and joy, and thus is below Fernando.

Well that was depressing oops! As the chibi art represents, this is probably a painting Seb got sent in the early days of planning their marriage. This is the Fernando who is still prideful, the Fernando who is still confident, the Fernando Seb vaguely remembers meeting his youth. Seeing this definitely pushes him even further towards the marriage(though tbf it's not like he even has a choice either.) Though when the time to actually start courting comes around, Fernando looks very uh different. This is both a joke about how different Fernando was in his first renault stint vs his second. But also I think he does show up very moody and disheveled, as a sort of last chance way to try and turn everyone on Seb's side, including Seb, off from the marriage. However, it's pretty much a done deal by that point.

Seb is uh, definitely confused, but I think he would be drawn to Fernando regardless. Actually, this might make Fernando even more appealing. Seb gets to push him all the time, try to break down his walls and get a glimpse at the real Fernando, if even just for a moment. Seb wishes he had more that just a blurry, vague recollection of Fernando at his peak confidence. Fernando definitely grows into something resembling his past self, after recovering from all the hurt, but there's just something about youthful exuberance that can't really be fully replicated.

Okay so about the quote. I went with Don Quixote this time instead of the typical Napoleon, because I thought it'd be funny. Fernando picks up the book at some point during his youth, and it inspires him a lot. He doesn't really see the satire in it, and comes to really admire Don Quixote's mentality, he's like "wow he never gives up! That's so admirable!" It definitely helps him through dark times to aspire to never give up no matter what. Though later Seb definitely rags on him for not knowing it was satire, and Fernando is like "wh-what do you mean satire?" But he's mentally strong enough atp for it to not cause his whole worldview collapse. About the quote specifically, there's definitely some part of him, even when young, that knows his aspirations are borderline impossible. I wonder if that part of him feels weirdly safe and comforted about the marriage. Yes, it's not ideal, but it's safe and secure. He gets what he wants, and there's no chance of anyone taking it away from him, no matter what.

I think his title would be Prince of Asturias? It was either that or duke, and I think prince fits him bettee(Machiavelli reference?) That title is currently the title for the heir to the Spanish throne. In this time period, it's also commonly used for the heir, but for Fernando it's a bit unsure. Like in real life, he's not directly the offspring, but he's still the most obvious choice for heir. But there's still enough room for Seb and his house to try to vie for the throne themselves, so it makes it all complicated.

#*btw that quote is from don quixote just so thats clear. creds to Cervantes lmfao. i explained in the read more why !#hahahaha all my lore and tags and everything got deleted so i had to rewrite this all. original post you will live on fondly in my memories #^ i was half asleep writing it the 2nd time so i hope its still good?#its always going to be inferior to me but ig it doesnt rly matter bcs im the only one who actually got to read it ha #anyways super happy with this ahhhh!!!#it was so much fun to draw. i got to focus more on the fashion and its great as well bcs renault's colors are fire #im also glad to draw him bcs i feel like ive neglected hima bit compared to the others! its been a fair bit since ive drawn him #i cant remember what else i said here haha so ill just say hope ya like!#im still happy with the characterization notes and lore in the read more so def read it still!!#and as always please inquire if you have any thoughts or question abt the au #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #<- it gets more and more absurd every drawing to tag this but ah tradition ig #catie.art #boy king au #vettonso

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