Tumgik
#i personally dont want to bitch about the other people in the office
Text
I know I'm not the best at managing my emotions and I've bitched about people plenty in my time but it still always catches me off guard when my coworkers talk incredibly nastily about someone else in the office with what seems like reckless abandon, like.
Oh, you. You don't? Try and keep this to yourself? You don't consider this frustration a private thought? You just. Let these thoughts out, in the open, often to me specifically???
Can't quite tell if it's the eldest daughter thing that makes people vent to me or if I just have the Vibe that calls people who want to complain
Very odd. And not pleasant.
#catfish speaks#idk if this is something other people experience a lot#its not like oh everyone vents to me all the time#cos its not that#my actual friendships are based on open communication and if we vent its met with a degree of compassion and consent#like yeah sometimes we forget to ask but most of the time its a 'sorry i forgot to ask' 'no its ok it sounds like it sucks' thing#the important thing is that i care about these peoples frustrations and want to listen and help#with my coworkers its like. i dont know you that well. i didnt even know this was a frustration#and idk did i miss a cue they gave me that signalled they consider me safe to vent to?#cos if that was the case - i feel like im being dumped on but they probably see me as a safe person#and that mismatch isnt anyones fault but i think im the only one realising its a mismatch at all#cos when people do this it makes me uncomfortable#i personally dont want to bitch about the other people in the office#i like them. yeah they can get annoying. so does everyone. so do i.#it feels cruel to speak nastily about them while they're not there with whay feels to me like unjustified anger#but then the people venting may be seeing me as a safe person who they just want to listen to their troubles#and i understand that and empathise with that - everyone wants that!#i jusy dont understand that that is the transaction we're entering until it's actually happening#at which point i am unprepared and unresponsive#i don't want to agree with the bitching i am hearing. but i don't want to deny them their voice.#im also the worst at standing up and disagreeing with someonr especially if theyre upset#so i just noncomittally agree and dont really offer much until they stop talking to me#which. obviously doesnt solve the problem and potentially leaves a broken trust between us#WHICH WAS UNSPOKEN AND ASSUMED THE ENTIRE FRICKIN TIME#its. god.#i dont understand othr people i really don't#anyway. if this resonates pls let me know I'm so curious
1 note · View note
marsixm · 2 months
Text
neuroses ruining yr life is a real missing the forest for the trees type beat but man im trying to see
2 notes · View notes
theriverdalereviewer · 10 months
Text
just remembered how in the sixth grade there was a fucking riot in the cafeteria that ended in the entire grade getting silent lunch for like 3 months
#I think it was 3 months but it felt a lot longer. my god middle school was the school to prison pipeline at its finest#on one hand I think its unfair that we were all punished but to be fair the entire grade participated in this riot. I don't even remember#what we were rioting? I just remember a girl named whitney was involved and 1 thing led to another and whitney ran out of the cafeteria#and THE ENTIRE GRADE WENT AFTER HER 😭. myself included I didn’t even know why either but WE WERE AFTER THAT BITCH 😭#it was so bad I remember everyone was heading one direction and then everyone started running back the other direction.#and I got knocked down in the process looking back this was really dangerous. but after that we got silent lunch for what felt like forever#like not only were we forced to sit with our homerooms (and some us didn’t even like our homeroom) but we couldn’t even talk to each other#which is honestly not good for socialization?? but again I can’t entirely blame them cause the situation was out of control.#but also shouldn’t the adults have had that thing under control??? anyways the person who ran silent lunch was the vice tyrant dr levine#he fucking hated us like that man was PISSED OFF and he made it clear cause if you made a sound during silent lunch#that man was gonna threaten you with detention extended detention ISS (aka in school suspension)#he didn’t even mean it but it was pretty good for instilling fear in us good kids. but one time I remember there was a kid who didn’t buy i#he didn’t give into levine’s fear tactic and levine started yelling “ISS!! OSS!! EXPULSION!!!!!” like calm down#I feel bad thinking about how so many kids who would ACCIDENTALLY make a sound were punished. and they were so damn terrified#cause it was like you were on your best behavior all of the time and then one noise and suddenly you had an out of school suspension#one time a boy named jc’s phone went off and he picked it up and it was his grandma asking him if he wanted ice cream 😭 no fucks given#and levine was screaming at him to hang up the phone and jc was like “this is my grandmother I can’t hang up"#and there came a time where we were finally off the hook and I just remember people in the cafeteria were clapping 😭#like this was school sanctioned oppression and we were finally liberated... but then we were back to silent lunch and I don’t even know why#I remember once even I ended up in Levine’s office but I dont think its cause I was talking during silent lunch??#I think it had something to do with bullying idk?? I just remember levine had my back during it and made the other kid cry and apologize#so shout out to levine. always good times goodbye!
3 notes · View notes
sadclowncentral · 3 months
Note
Sorry if this is a weird question, and if that's the case you can absolutely not answer, but how do you cope with having multiple full-time jobs and still having energy outside of work? Feels a bit like I'm dying of exhaustion every day over here lol
I've been ruminating for a few days on this ask because truly I struggle with this more than I want to admit. My jobs rarely leave me with energy outside of work, and I have gone through times in the last two years where working and sleeping were the only possibilities, and it sucks, and it is kind of embarrassing, but I have also found some ways to mitigate it even slightly which I am more than happy to share:
1. Schedule fun times (yikes)
It was a harrowing realization that I need to schedule hang outs and self care just like every meeting - weeks in advance, colour coded in both the calendar and the to do list - but since I started doing it, my success rate has skyrocketed. You either die a type b or live long enough to become a type a i guess
2. Bring your fun to work day
I will suggest anything that's fun to me as a work activity. I like drawing so you KNOW the ministry is littered with illustrations. My PowerPoints create envy across departments. I scout the world of my office for ways to have fun and I am not embarrassed to say so. I'm funmaxxing the grind. So what
3. Everyone is depressed bitch
Acknowledge that everyone your age is looking at their fifty-year olds in their work life with white-hot envy (WHEN THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TIME TO GARDEN) and that the loss of agency that comes with starting your career is normal and sad, but also means that...
4. Let's get some fruit
...you gotta stop thinking in old time frames of friendship expectations. people you haven't talked to for eight months will not be mad about your absence as they are stressed and hobbyless as well and will instead REJOICE at a scheduled hangout. I have friends I see once a year we love each other. no one is mad and everyone is stressed tf out LET'S HANG
5. Win the war not the fight
hey. listen to me. this isn't easy. it sucks coming home and feeling like having no agency left. and it's hard to break that cycle of exhaustion, and I fail all the time, when is the last time i saw the sun, oh god oh no my twenties. and if you feel like that is necessary in the time you are in, that is respectable. don't be mean to yourself for being stuck in a system that tries to squeeze all the energy out of you like a grape of some sort. you just gotta make sure you don't FORGET that you are a fully formed person with hobbies in another life. buy that plane model kit. bookmark that recipe. join that knitting group. i know you dont have time and energy. but your future self will thank you for paving the way.
I hope these are helpful. don't forget to have fun and be yourself. godspeed
113 notes · View notes
Note
wibta for telling my mom im tired of her self deprecation?
for context, my (17m) mom (??f, probably in her 50s or so if i had to guess) has various mental illnesses and a lot of them were passed on to me. within the past couple years my moms mental health has stayed the same, but ive recovered way more than i ever thought id be able to. the thing is, if im around people who are constantly negative and doom-and-gloom frequently enough it irritates me and my mental health starts to dip. me and my mom have other things we dont agree on/argue over pretty frequently, but this is something i havent brought up to her
every once in a while ill mention something to her entirely neutrally -- did you remember to pick up this thing from the store, are we gonna do this thing you said wed do, have you returned that thing with a steadfast deadline to be returned before yet, etc. -- and shell be like "no i havent because im a horrible mom/im a shitty person/im a bitch/etc" unprompted. i understand that she goes through a lot all the time but it feels like shes putting words in my mouth and like she only thinks negatively of me, not to mention that i feel awful for not knowing how to help with her mental struggles (and even if i did she dismisses any suggestions i make to her about her life)
im considering telling her that i dont like when she says things like that, obviously in a far gentler way than the title suggests, but im worried that itll worsen tensions between us or make her feel worse about herself. at the same time im so tired of having to constantly reassure her that she isnt a bad parent for things she cant control (forgetting things we need from the store, not wanting to go anywhere because of her mental state, the post office being closed when she gets there, and what have you) when she also knows i dont think of her the way she says i do. its an unmanageable standstill -- either say something and risk worsening the issue, or shut it and let her keep putting herself down, making us both feel worse in the process
wibta?
What are these acronyms?
73 notes · View notes
candyredmusings · 1 year
Text
“Another One Of Those ‘Things My Discord Said’ Sentence Starters.
Things taken from DMs and a few group chats from Discord. CW: NSFT Change / Edit as necessary !
i am literally tom cruise
cum is cool.
[NAME]  is fucked up cus he is straight man
[NAME]  show me your fuckin tits
[NAME], you better not be standing catatonic in your room wearing your handmade jigsaw robe again.
its like they creampied me but instead of cum it was new music
like what about my pussy-area makes u think sea cucumber
the mind is weak. but the body is funky
so im reading that fanfic where 1d like, buys your soul or whatever and im shook
well tom servo is a sex god
and then i freaked it
FUCK YOU APPLE JACK FUCK
ILL SLURP WITH YOU
LEMME SHOW U DICK
ITS A SIDE QUEST YOU SILLY BITCH
I’m a zombie the law can’t stop me
LEAVE YOUR GOLDEN UNCRUSTABLES OUT OF MY HOME I WILL NOT FALL VICTIM TO THY TRICKERY
you, telling me to ignore a twink with side swept brown hair? foolish.
Hes so hot i briefly started texting like a straight person
and because I’m god and I’ve decided that. No. In fact. I’m not done.
MY DUMB BOTTOM BRAIN FOLLOWS COMMANDS TOO WELL
[NAME], I know you love bloopy reggae jams. Now is not the time
OH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOUD SAY YOU STUPID ACCIDENTAL HIMBO DEMON
man i rlly am attracted to paul mccartney.
its not that kennedy was gay af sleeping w jackies fat ass out, he just has a better one-
jealous of my massive honkeers
YOU BRAINCELLED BITCH
this forced open my third eye and i saw the devil--
oh me seeming romantically interested in u is making u uncomfortable?? noted
the only pussy this party city shake out wig looking mother fucker is getting
[NAME]  expose your teeth right fucking now
IN THE DEPARTMENT OF OLD MAN FUCKING, WEVE GOT YOU BEAT
What if we kissed while one of us got called racist and we are both boys
i just jacked it to minecraft piss porn
I will pop a huge tentacle boner
i hate females fr fr
we left u to die to play minecraft
IM GONNA FRICKLE-FRACK YOUR WIFE
CAN I KARATE CHOP IT LIKE IN SPONGEBOB
DWIGHT FROM THE OFFICE IS NOT MY SKRUNKLY
she would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats
My brother in Christ you’re being haunted
i want to wring you like a wet towel and slap u against a wall
Yeah you'll come to learn I just have a thing for milk
Piss ur pants harder pls I wanna watch
I'm gonna corn on the kill myself
good morning to parappa and his stans. everyone else..... hi ig
lol look at this clown with no slurs
God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.
this is how I reveal myself to be homophobic
I have no sluts
idk what it is abt it but boba makes me become like an actual whore
im homophobic suddenly
he was like ‘You're so big”.... and i just started crying
anyones penis can be hard hes not special
for the love of god please help me
i can talk about piss for hours
im sorry i havent recognized mickey mouse clubhouse ost as the cultural landmark that it is
I ASKED IF WE WOULD RP AFTER FUCKING BIBLE STUDY OR WHATEVER
the benefits of being a yandere is that i dont have to forgive OR forget and I am a living breathing PVP zone so Fuck with me white boy.
When toxic by ashnikko comes on I enter the gaslight gatekeep phases of my girlbosshood
im like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride
[NAME] is just all fucking Sorts of fucked up
im clownfaking
why are we here? to suffer? every other day i get messages from a whore
always thinking abt when my friend called me a "white boy whore"
you gotta PUMP the errand girl with cocaine
im beyond shame bc i love all cock try again
people have fetishes.
They really do crucify anyone these days huh
u may have never hungered for cock but you have hungered for a sub sandwich and honestly? theyre basically the same thing-
hi im drawing hentai
[NAME] idk why but that really. makes me want to stab you
“Don't have sex FOMO, [NAME], no! “
“TRY AND NUKE THIS, BITCH.”
“There's a group of golden skeletons behind you hitting the griddy “
“GRANDPA’S ASHES SUCKED MY COCK AND TOOK ME TO ARBYS.”
“You’re lanky with no gender and silly goofy with the rizz it works.”
“You can’t just tell me I could be a Tumblr sexy man to my face at 4:30 PM.”
"I have strong opinions about the soviet union"
“CALL THAT PUSSY THE MATRIX CAUSE IM IN THIS BITCH AND I CANT GET OUT “
“dont cry. 8000 types of reptiles on the planet, okay?”
[NAME] lives his life like he’s an RPG character but picks only the rude dialogue options.”
“I need to beat off to this before God destroys California.”
"No amount of pussy could get me on a rollercoaster with three loops"
"I love your senior citizen pussy"
"Gerber is pretty reliable .. I mean .. The Gerber baby didn't die .... did it?"
“you are white i assume”
"I hate you terrorist, and you may quote me on that"
"I love watching you play minecraft. It's like watching a baby fawn."
"I've never seen old men who fuck harder."
"i don't need him to KILL i need him to FUCK ME"
"well maybe if you just dicked down your wife she wouldn't have gone on a murderous slut rampage"
"why cant these BIG titty bimbos stop HANGING around me"
66 notes · View notes
hella1975 · 2 years
Note
I just applied for a breakfast waitress position in a hotel do you have any tips if they accept me oh great hella
omg im so excited for this ask yes i DO have tips anonstie i have so much to tell you hi im hella ive been doing different waitressing jobs since i was sixteen here's what i know:
your first 3 weeks/month are the golden time. im being so serious when i say ask ANY question you have. you will have stupid questions. you will panic about which way a tap gets turned or where a plate goes. you will feel like a tit. ask anyway. in this time NOTHING you do can get too harshly judged bc you're the 'new person' and it stays that way for a good 3 weeks SO ASK AWAY. a month is pushing it but honestly rather ask in the first month than fudge it yourself and make a mess
dont try and carry three plates straight away. just.... dont
you will drop things. you WILL break things. i promise you they're not going to fire you
you will have some of the most outragously awkward encounters with customers. this is probably their fault (they told a bad joke, they dont look at you when they talk, they're generally an asshole) BUT sometimes it'll be your fault. the other day my mate was serving this old bloke and he said he was just waiting for his wife because she was 'out partying', to which my mate laughed thinking he was telling a joke. it was only when she walked away that she realised he said 'parking' and she laughed really hard at it for seemingly no reason and she literally had to go to the office and put her head in her hands. she's been waitressing there for two years
speaking of other staff. god. omg. okay. yes, all chefs are that much of an asshole it's not just yours. no, age-gaps are not frowned upon in the catering industry. yes, everyone is shagging each other all of the time. good luck
dont slag any of the other staff off until the first month is over. even if that staff member is the designated victim of everyone's abuse, just dont join in yet. the last thing you want is to join in on harmless bitching bc you think it'll appeal you to the staff just to find out you've gotten involved in some deep-seated years-long politics. also it's just respectful. you're new at the end of the day and you dont really earn a right to an opinion on anyone until youve been there a while lol
bring food to work with you. worst case scenario it sits in your bag untouched bc you dont get hungry. best case scenario you're on your feet for a 10 hour shift with no progress on your staff meal and suddenly that tesco egg and cress sandwich you packed looks a lot like god
also drink water!!!!!! literally no one acknowledges how fucking hard waitressing is but you are ON YOUR FEET FOR HOURS moving the entire length of the restaurant usually carrying shit AND dealing with the social drain of constant interaction. you need to take care of yourself
dont write down verbatim what the customer ordered unless you can write very very quickly. you'll get used to your own shorthand bc FUCK KNOWS customers cant seem to recognise what it looks like when someone is clearly still writing and they tend to just KEEP FUCKING TALKING
that's another thing. never underestimate how stupid and/or rude people can be. you're going to experience levels of ridiculous unbenownest to you until now. you are going to hear shit come out of people's mouths that you thought humanity had evolved past centuries ago. get that poker face down
it's okay if it gets to you. there's going to be shit days where every customer you speak to tears a strip off you and it's fucking DRAINING. im lucky bc i genuinely dont view customers as other human beings so literally nothing they say to me even resonates, but other people get upset and need to cry. that's okay. everyone has terrible days. it's a natural reaction to people being rude to you so just remember it's a VERY impersonal industry. you'll make mistakes that you're convinced will make people (either customers or other staff) hate you but honestly? it'll be forgotten about the next day
know from the start what shifts you're willing to do AND MAKE YOUR MANAGER AWARE OF IT. are you part-time? if so, specify how many days MAXIMUM you're willing to work a week. can you work sundays? say so if you can't. if you say all of this stuff repeatedly from the beginning then when the day inevitably comes that you've been put on rota five days in a row or they've stuck you on a sunday regardless of buses, you can shrug your shoulders without any guilt and turn it down
clean up after yourself. dont see yourself as above any jobs. polish the cutlery when it needs doing (this is your friend). clean up the coffee counter. your employer - especially when your new - wants to see INITIATIVE, not just an ability to follows instructions. when there's nothing to do and you've done what you were told, FIND SOMETHING TO DO. if you cant think of anything (though dw the longer you're there the more familiar you'll become with the little jobs), then ask another waitress or your manager if you can help with anything. it makes you look eager and on the ball
there's a hierarchy in the catering industry and it can get nasty. for example, barback and kitchen porter are seen as really unprestigious roles and as a result a lot of the staff are really horrible to them. dont fucking do that. waitresses have a really awful reputation for this kind of bitchiness and it's not nice. your job isnt superior. dont just dump your plates with the kp when there's food still on them. talk to the barback instead of just handing them your empty glasses without even acknowleding them. youd think this was all a given but it really really isnt
try get in with the chefs. typically their egos are really fragile but that can work in your favour. even if you just get on well with ONE chef, the kitchen staff are usually quite loyal to each other so that'll get you in with the rest of them. it just makes your day easier bc you can relax with them more, so checking your orders and getting yourself food isnt a faff
learn the menu as quick as possible. a good place will give you some sort of food-orientated role at first for exactly this reason (e.g one of my first ever shifts i did 10 hours JUST on the food passe. i wanted to die but in a single shift i knew that menu like the back of my hand and it makes life soooo much easier). still, you'll trip up a lot at first when customers ask the dreaded 'do the fishcakes come with _____' and you dont know the answer. smiling sweetly and going 'oh im not sure actually, i'll just go ask someone for you :)' is your best friend. to this day i still say this (though that's for drinks bc im HOPELESS at remembering what we have on tap)
have fun! it sounds dumb but if you like where you're working then waitressing can honestly be such a laugh. it's a job that has a real solidarity aspect to it and it bonds people. dont deep anything and just enjoy yourself <3
27 notes · View notes
creativebrainrot · 1 year
Note
Hello i would love to try Sulyen's route in a dating sim✨️
@mystery-salad
first of all, uh. im sorry. SKJHFIOJGADJFKH
this man is so hard to get an ACTUAL romance good ending with because hes such a bitch KSHFGSIDUHF.
(I hope u did mean Sulyen and not Sugyn, but i AM gonna use this as an excuse to answer for both anyway &lt;;3)
SULYEN
Sulyen is so so very vain and stuck up and obsessed with himself and such a bitch about it tbh BUT
His route is a LOT of nice dinners and opera house dates and underground concert dates around Cantha. He's got a "human-sona" he uses in Cantha, as he is a mesmer AND not there legally. No one knows he's actually a sylvari. He's also, a "pop star" in cantha so you get some VIP perks from dating him.
The trick to earning his favor is telling him what he wants to hear. How handsome and pretty and better than everyone else he is so he can gloat and say "I knoow~" The more expensive the gifts you can get him, the better. He's also extremely bratty, and will pout and complain EVERYTIME you DONT give him what he wants. He's not very good with boundaries either. :/ He won't cross any hard lines because he NEEDS people to like him but he IS pushy along with being a brat. He'll give up eventually.
BAD ENDING - this happens from you, uh,,,,, being a normal person and finding him a little. too much. LMFAO You wanted him to treat you like you were an equal to him from the start and he was NOT having it. He is CLEARLY better than everyone else ALWAYS. Alternatively, you asked for basic respect a little further down the line of your relationship together and he obliged but you still didn't enable him enough and he lost interest once someone new started showering him in praise and affection. He is, unfortunately or, fortunately, depending on the person I GUESS LMAO, Just Like This.* (He is starved of real affection BUT it doesn't excuse the way he behaves and he won't change. It's somewhat motivated by insecurity but he won't ever unlearn his bad habits. He's Just Like This despite the original motivation behind his behavior.)
GOOD ENDING - You enabled him the entire time BUT you weren't a door mat for him to walk all over. You set hard boundaries and played the games, you demanded respect from him and he liked the confidence behind it and obliged. You got him so many gifts; beautiful flowers, delicious food like bean buns and sweet pastries, beautiful jewelry etc. He liked how confident you were in challenging him now and again despite still drowning him in praise and affection.
You've ended up with a mutual respect with him despite the fact that he IS still a bitch through and through, and extremely vain. and stuck up. and annoying. Atleast he's less annoying now and shares the spotlight with you a little more and a little more often.
SUGYN
BONUS ROUND!!! (just incase and also cause its fun >:3)
Sugyn's route includes a lot of secret hideaway meetups and exchanging note / letters silently. She'll leave letters and gifts on your desk in the dead of night and you'll find them in morning, wondering how she even got in. (*not personal desk inside your house, think more like your office in a room of the pact's current base of operations.) He'll also drag you away in the afternoons or middle of the night for a quiet walk to chat about life lately. Or even just whatever you both have on your mind. She enjoys reliable trustworthy company. She'll do subtlety affectionate things only you know how to spot, or know the meaning of. That specific little smile when she spots you, that specific little adjustment of her hair / clothing when she spots you looking her way, etc.
She enjoys reliable, trustworthy, honorable company. To her, the order of whispers IS honorable, as they do what must be done to ensure the safety of the orders and others lives no matter the cost or outward appearance of the order. If you're in The Pact and get sent out on a dangerous mission, she's going to trail your squad in secret and eliminate any unaccounted threats. He can't help it, he needs to make sure you're safe. She's the quiet sort and will happily listen to you talk her ear off about anything for hours. She's independent as well, and won't want to spend every moment with you.
BAD ENDING - You didn't trust her. You didn't let her in, you let her outward looks convince you she's bad news. You didn't let her wander or disappear once in awhile. Ultimately, you didn't trust her. She felt hurt and a little betrayed, and ghosted. Completely ignoring your existence.
GOOD ENDING - You DID trust her, you let her see your most vulnerable self and she gave you the same sight in return. You talked about your fears and concerns, you loved eachother but respected her needs and in turn, she gives back whatever she can. You didn't let his looks convince you he wasn't really in love with you- "he just needed to use you for something." You now have a cat-coded knife wife who will do anything to keep you safe <3 She'll comfort you through the darkest of times and love you fully and dedicatedly, even through her quiet times where she needs to disappear for awhile. She'll leave you notes telling you where she'll be or how long she'll be gone now. So you aren't ever truly lonely.
3 notes · View notes
matsur1 · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
A Kokonoi fanfiction penned by Matsur1
Warnings: A tiny bit of swearing
Word Count: 1.3k
A/n: Not proofread yet so some things may sound stupid, I don't have the time to proof read this yet but I will one day (hopefully) [Edit: this was posted mins ago but I alr proofread it bc I dont wanna embarrass myself- ASDHHSJSS sorry to the early people who read this and read dumb shit teehee pls read it again if you saw the post without this edit:')]
There was this guy at work that you found attractive. His name was Kokonoi. Kokonoi Hajime. He was very kind despite the rumors spreading around the company you both worked in. He was very generous, caring, and funny. Not the “thirsty for money” guy everyone talked about. 
When you were still new, you weren’t yet aware of these rumors about him. He first approached you at lunch break at the very first day of working. “Hey rookie!,” he shouted in the whole office. You flinched, looking at the direction where the shout came from. It was an attractive guy waving his hands at you asking for you to wait for him. He ran towards you and spoke, “Come with me, I’ll treat you lunch just for today.” He lightly smiled.
The whole walk on your way to the cafeteria was silent and awkward but when you both reached the cafeteria and ordered food, he started his introductions and you both started to get to know each other.
After your first day at work, you felt more at ease since you made a friend at work on the very first day. You only had hoped your friendship would last even if it’s just until tomorrow. 
The next day, he again treated you at lunch. He kept insisting and bugging you so, how could you say no? And so, he did that again the next day, the next, the next, and honestly, he did that every single day. But it wasn’t just to you, he also treated rookies on their first days at work. Not every day like you though. You heard tons of whispering about him but you paid it no mind because in your point of view, he was so much more different than what the rumors say. You found it strange but at the same time, you felt a bit of “special treatment. You weren’t complaining though. I mean, who wouldn’t want a lifetime of free lunch, am I right? 
But after a few weeks, you finally had the courage to ask why he was only treating you every single workday to lunch. You both went to a coffee shop near the building you both work in. After he grabbed your coffee from the counter, he walked towards your table and passed your coffee to you. “Thanks,” you told him as he hummed in response. “Koko, would you mind telling me why you treat me lunch every day?” you politely asked. He looked at you in a way as if he’s telling you, ‘Are you seriously asking this?’ and he lightly laughed resting his coffee down on the table. “It’s ‘cause I like you, dummy. Ain’t that obvious?” he grabbed his coffee and drank while you. You paused and blushed. He glanced at you and understood what that face of yours that you were making meant. He laughed so loud it brought you back to earth. “Not in that way, idiot. I platonically like you, that’s why. Besides, you’re the only one sticking by my side even after you heard those rumors about me. And plus, I like someone else” He told you. In embarrassment of assuming it was something else, you avoided that part and focused on the last thing he said. “Oh? Who is this lucky person that Mr. Koko fancies,” you teased him, smirking. “She’s in the hospital,” his tone suddenly lowered down a bit. “Oh,” you had no words to say, nervous that you may have touched a sensitive topic. “But it’s alright, she’s been getting better nowadays,” he continued, bringing back his normal tone. “I see. That’s good to hear.” You smiled in relief. “Sooo, did you already give her your first kiss?” you once again teased him. “Bitch no,” he laughed. “What about you? You already gave it to someone?” he asked you. “No, a first kiss should be saved for someone you truly love… I believe.” You hesitantly spoke, afraid that he’ll laugh at your words. But he just gave you a hum.
After that day, you felt a bit of spark disappear. Perhaps you were a bit… jealous? Disappointed? But that’s not what matters right now. Right now, you have tons of work due 10 pm. 
Months passed by, you and Koko ended up getting more closer each month. You were very happy to have a friend like him. Yeah, just friends though. He would often talk about the girl ever since you touched that topic. You discovered her name was Akane.
“Their house got caught on fire. I rushed in to save her, ended up saving her brother instead. It’s all because that asshole looks like her.” He laughed it off. “Soon, she was brought to the hospital after rescues came. She looked like roasted bread got into coma. But like I said, she’s been getting better nowadays, so the doctor says.” He explained. “I’m so sorry you went through that. You must love her so much. I mean waiting for years, damn, you’re one of a kind.” You complimented him. “Yeah? I promised myself I wouldn’t ever fall in love again unless it was her.” He spoke with such confidence. And talks about Akane happened for many many days. You couldn’t even count the amount of times Koko has brought Akane into a conversation. You had no problems with it though, it’s just, you kinda wished it was you he was talking about that way. But it was no use, he was so in love. Everyone could see it easily once he starts talking about Akane. Plus, you didn’t wanna act so selfish towards a person you knew you absolutely had no chance with. What a lucky girl Akane was. She has a loyal man waiting for her once she wakes up. 
For about a year later, you received news. Kokonoi asked you if he could talk to you after work. You were confused but you thought of it as nothing. Hours passed by and it was finally time to go home. You stretched as soon as you got up from your seat but then you remembered that Koko wanted to talk to you. You both decided to talk at the front of the building. And when you arrived, Koko looked anxious.
“So, what’s up?” you paused, You look anxious, what’s wrong?” you continue. “Well uhm, good news, bad news. Good news coming first.” He spoke. “Drop it now then,” you responded. “Akane woke up a week ago-“ you cut him off and spoke happily, “Oh really??? I’m happy for you! Did you tell her ab-“ he cut you off this time, “Y/N, let me finish please.” He spoke in a tone of... guilt? You quickly changed into your poker face, letting him continue. “Yes, me and Akane talked now. And we decided it was better if I quit this job and start building our life.” He put so much pressure on the word “our” that for a millisecond, you felt sad but you remembered you had to feel happy for them. I mean, a week of talking and they're already talking about building their life? Oh how much trust they have in each other. Your trust was nothing compared to theirs.
“Yeah?? That’s really great!!! I’m seriously happy for you. You both better invite me at your wedding.” You playfully hit him using your elbow and kept on a smile. “Y/N… you don’t have to filter your words you know,” he held your shoulders, making you look at him in the eye. “What do you mean? I’m seriously happy for you. You don’t think I’m that kind of person, do you?” you lightly laughed.  “But-“ you shushed him, “no buts, so is she in your car? You probably shouldn't keep her waiting, Mr. Gentleman.” You grinned. “Yeah,” he took a deep sigh of relief. You gave a wave at the car, in case she was watching you two. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. But I’ll probably be too busy packing my stuff.” 
“Mhm, I’ll see ya.” You watched as he went off to go to Akane in the car. Taking one last look at you, giving you a smile. Perhaps the last smile he'll ever offer to you. You turned to look away. Suddenly rain started to pour heavily. Did the news say it was going to be rainy today? No. It was really an unfortunate day for you. And that’s when it hit you. Tears started to flood on your cheeks. 
I guess in the midst of your friendship with Koko, he was just trying to find Akane’s shadow in you.
Tumblr media
© Matsuri
35 notes · View notes
enaira8berry · 2 years
Text
Emotions sealed
Warnings: ANGST, AND LOADS OF FLUFF. minors are free to interact 🤩😘
Summary: you have been in a long term relationship with Sunghoon. Yes, the godamn PARK SUNGHOON. the both of you kept it as a secret for a year and a half but after you got spotted infront of his office, people started to talk about you two. Eventually, Sunghoon confirmed it himself and you confirmed it to the media as well. Everything was going well until you came across your childhood sweetheart talking with your man.
Its never easy for someone to date a billionaire. Yes, you get all the shopping and expensive things but the time consumes too much. Its sad to say but your a doctor. A heart surgeon at that. Imagine all of the surgeries and work that you have to deal with and come home in a massive apartment EMPTY.
It breaks your heart all the time but Sunghoon always makes up gor it every weekends. Dates in Saturday and quality time at home in Sundays.
Luckily for you, Its a Sunday.
Walking down the hallways of your shared apartment and knocking at the door of your lover's office as it slowly opens revealing a tall man looking at you with pure sadness in his eyes as he pecked you in the lips and rested his head on your shoulder. "I love you" he whispered while his hand gently holds your waist "I love you more." "And how is that possible?" He looked again in your eyes and pouted cutely. Who could have thought that the rich intimidating Park Sunghoon has this side of him? And its only for you and always will be or so you thought.
Turns out he's having a meeting with someone important he says. Yet he keeps on rolling his eyes and keeps on nagging his secretary over the phone. ENDLESSLY.
"____ baby are you sure its ok for you?"
"What do you mean?"
"This meeting. Its boring anyways."
"I would visit you right after dont worry." You smiled at him and gently kissed his lips but the moment you were pulling away, he HUNGRILY kissed you. He's scary whenever he does this actually. Yes its VERY attractive but sometimes it hurts. Giving up and following the rhythm of his kisses while his hand travels inside your top but before he starts to take your brallete away, you pulled away. "You have a meeting in 10 minutes. Leave." You pointed the HUGE door as he pouted cutely and went out grumpily like a kid.
"Greetings Madam."
"Are you seeing the president today?" Yuna asked over tge counter as she kept on typing on her phone. You nodded a yes as she told you to go straight to his office. On the way, you didnt ecpect to suddenly bump into a girl. Shed pretty and her tight dress complimented jer curves a little too well. You realjsed she came from Sunghoons office but you really didnt mind it.
"What the heck!?"
"Im sorry. I havent noticed you-" Slap. That was the fucking sound of a slap. "Bitch..." you mumbled as you try to fix your hair "are you telling me im invisible that you havent noticed me? Well hah! Your wearing fake chanell all over your body and your telling me-"
"Shut up." You quickly glanced over her head and saw your lover glaring at the girl basically judging her entire existence. Turns out she is the sisterr of the important person sunghoon mentioned earlier this morning not like you care. Hoon lets his 'people' take care of the girl while the impprtant person kept on apologizing for the attitude of his sister well, he should be. Imagine you just want to visit your boyfriend and a girl is suddenly mad at you for existing? Gosh!
"Love, Im sorry for what happened earlier hm?" Hoon apologized hand on your thigh and the other on the steering wheel. Your too used to this to freak out internally and get teased all week like the first time he did it but thats not the point. "Its not your fault. Who was the important person anyways?" You turned your head away from your phone and glanced at tge man beside you "it's Jay." He answers "Jay? Thats all?" "Yes." Was all he said you didnt really care not until the jay he was talking about was your Jay. WAS
22 notes · View notes
enzombie · 1 year
Note
I just finished season 4 and im. Im ruined. Ive already watched the show like 6 times btw but FUCK. GOD DAMN
Blaine being truly honest for the first time in as long as we've known him by telling angus he made the sign from god, only to get a reality check when his dad isnt as selfish and cowardly as he is, except thats such a mindfuck because his dad is a horrible awful child abusive son of a bitch, and it must have been so confusing to watch the church devour fraud bater under angus's orders. How eagerly angus watches blaines reaction, how he so hopes that makes up for everything, its sickening. Especially at the end of their arc where if i got it correctly, enzo sold them out? Told FMG they'd be coming and led them to a trap? And we saw angus and his flock get shot down. I cant help but feel bad for blaine
Peyton refusing to let FMG get away with moving up the time of the execution, marching into that studio and taking iver the broadcast, being the REASON people SHOWED UP at the warehouse and being right there with johnny fucking frost of all people, and ravi right by her side.
Major leaping over the crowd of soldiers to tackle chase, raging out completely and rightfully after all the shit he had to do for what he believed to be the right cause, only for the leader of that cause to spit in his face by trying to execute the love of his life. Because despite everything they still love eachother still and major is so goddamn pissed hes not gonna let another person murder his kids and get away ith it (even tho we saw so little of captain seattle i do not rememebr his actual name. Or jordans half the time)
Liv's stone cold expression at pulling the level and crushing chase's skull, and being so right about it too. Still tho, it wasnt enough to bring levon back, just like every time she tries to do the thing she thinks is right, someone she loves dies for it. When she tries to shoot blaine on sniper brain but cant, lowell tries to and gets killed. When she saves the chaos killer victims and clive from dying to a zombie, that zombie just had to be drake. When she tries to help human-zombie relations (misguidedly) and save lives by being renegade, she gets a front row seat to levons head being crushed. Her pain is so real idec chase is done with. It wasnt a good ending for her and i can feel that so clearly, even with that hopeful ending scene
My friend and I talked abour how selfish Liv can be when we started watching together (her first time), but how selfish can someone be when they give up the cure for their ailment twice for other peoples happiness?
And Chase. God. That entire decline during the latter half of the season was brutal. When thwy announced renegades execution and the video came out, he was done it was over, there was truly no coming back from this. He was so out of it at the point of the supporters breaking in that his voice cracks when he shouts at major to stop and when he says dont shoot and hes scrambling wildly for some form of control, in this case a gun that he places his head right on the gillutine. I think its a mercy that he died so painlessly.
At least Dale and Clive got a happy ending to the season though, getting married and getting the cure. Clive calling liv partner when they were saying goodbye in chase's office, it was just so bittersweet
Hope its okay that this is so long i just wanted to dump my thoughts onto someone ^^ this show is phenomenal i cant recover from this tonight.
DAMN. THATS A LOT OF WORDS. DAMN.
I uh idk how to respond to most of this cus there's so much but I'll try my best (also why this took so long to reply sorry)
Blaine is a mixed feelings character, he's a fan favourite and he's always enjoyable to watch. Angus on the other hand idk a single soul who likes that bitch. Say what you will about Blaine, but Angus was EVIL. Shout out to Enzo for killing him off fr. We are grateful. All my homies hate Angus.
Also Enzo didn't exactly sell them out, he more completely set them up - he went directly to Blaine and Angus to make sure they went the exact route, made sure he was there for all the final plans, he collaborated directly with the US military to get rid of Angus and his pals. Like it wasn't a split second betrayal it was a planned execution, he knew full well Angus would take the bait and was probably hoping Blaine would too. I'm not sure if it was even an official FG operation because as far as we know, Chase didn't hear anything back from Enzo about the church. He didn't tell the press his name, he was the only FG personnel there - I'm sus that he just took it upon himself to deal with them. King behaviour.
And yeah Peyton was girlboss at the end of season 4 but it's like. When her bestie in danger she got all this proactive shit but when she's acting mayor the energies like half that. Makes me mad.
As for major. Little sympathy. Oh did your child soldiers get killed? Maybe child soldiers are a bad idea? Maybe you wouldn't be upset if you didn't have children as soldiers in the first place? Maybe giving untrained children weapons is guaranteed to go badly and end with them injured or killed? Do you think? Like. Honestly. And the way he was with Levon. Major was weird in season 4 idk. And I disagree with them killing Chase. There's so many worse people in the show that she can't bring herself to kill but Chase she executes without hesitation. He wasn't even that bad. I don't think its very fair for him either. Like he was trying his best to keep Seattle under control, and renegade was actively making everything worse. And if you think he was doing a bad job what came after in season 5? With Major: terrorism and hatecrimes peaked and he did nothing, he made Seattle completely reliant on Blaine who (bless him) is not trustworthy and not a good person and is obviously going to be a controversy. With Enzo: the second he took over, Majors mistakes blow up and Seattle dealing with civil war. Not to mention Enzo isn't great at de-escalation, at any point - not even just when he's in charge, since his introduction he walks in and makes situations worse on purpose (can't help being a girlboss)
As for your question about Liv being selfish - it's shortsightedness. She'll do selfless things that make her feel good but she won't consider the consequences. Stuff like giving up the cure is fine, not really any consequences, she gets to help her friends. The renegade stuff, she gets to scratch sick people and feel good about it - but the whole of Seattle gets closer and closer to dying horribly every time she does. It's like only caring about what's directly in front of her. Irritates me a little tbh. Especially when she's one of the only zombies not experiencing the food shortage so it's just this whole privilege thing while thousands of people are at risk.
Clive and Bozzio are so precious I love them so much they deserve everything. That's all.
Anyway, hope you and your friend enjoy season 5✌️
4 notes · View notes
riverofrainbows · 2 years
Text
My gynocologist office trying to force me to get my pap smear every year (while not forcing other people i know who go to that same office) by withholding my medication (which is not causally related to the pep smear, the only question my gyno asks about it is "Any problems?" To which i say no and thats it) is really something. Also the reception lady (who has repeatedly been a bitch to me) complaining about my (apparently not polite enough) tone (it wasn't actually rude or confrontational, just not pleasant and happy, i know I'm autistic but I'm not that bad with tone personally). Like the audacity of being a bitch to me but claiming i am like. Yelling at her. With how offended she was.
Ever since last year when i found out that a pap smear every year when you're not sexually active is not actually medically necessary i am already pissed that they made me undergo this invasive and uncomfortable procedure every year (while not doing so for everyone of their patients!!!!) Like what, do they want a "no bitches" certificate to believe me that i DONT HAVE SEX????
3 notes · View notes
woeiswo · 14 days
Text
Tumblr media
Oh look, the left side dryer is still broken. How many weeks is this? Do you measure my laundry routine on my complaints about shit not working right? Specifiacally how the left side is always broken and they supposedly just fixed it a day later then decided to charge more to use it. And its still broken. Do you have q need to force things on the "right side" nigger? RAILROADING PEOPLE NIGGER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND IT? Do other people have to use this machine?
Do you work for KMFDM nigger?
That piece of shit eurotrash electronic band.
Kmfdm aren't my friends nigger. Or is that why you offered them a job instead of me when you were bitching about me when i was singke, broke, and in my 20s nigger?
Hasn't that piece of shit done enough to this family or in my life you fucking plagiarizing, private dick theif. nigger.
My doctors office referral says press one for Arabic. I live in the United States near the Mexican border.
What? Busy trying to keep up with Elon in the kiss ass contest with other countries world trade?
Forgot what desert storm was about or for?
The whole we don't like foreign invaders, then you're rolling out the red carpet and telling American LAW ABIDING citizens to suck it up. Your grandma serves no purpose in this country either. Neither does your son with cerebal palsy nigger. Your daughter with multiple sclerosis doesnt work either. Neither does my sisters brother born with down syndrome. Was that his "deadbeat" ass' fault that he was born with a disability, you faggot nazi? Shut up criminal nigger. BeCause every single one of them that you cut down when you speak in this country has a vote and wants to listen to somebody who isnt q condescendung fucking dick. Neither does this guy with an artificial heart. You dont need to see people's vulnerabities before you respect them nigger. At least I'm not breaking the system for everybody else nigger.
Sounded like my dickhead uncle on the phone faking it and testing me, instead of a doctors office too, phone fucking nigger. Do you know Mark Desmond nigger?
I won't tolerate you trying to put that faggot abusive family member between me and the Law nigger.
Why do you favor them nigger? To hurt me nigger? Because they were born first in the familial pecking order nigger? Because of what a nice kindhearted person he is with no history of assault or hospitalized wives by his fists nigger? Two estranged kids of his own can't be wrong huh.
Nigger
Was that paint on the door in the post below supposed to be a threat nigger?
The black paint correlates with what symbolism wise guy? Are you going to vandalize my car at some point nigger? Is it better that I stare outside all day to keep you honest nigger, while you're sneaking around outside my line of sight fucking around at people's boundaries planning where you're going to shit next for a surprise nigger.
The carelessness dickhead with his desktop or the same dickhead with the Kia box. We're you trying to say you intend to key my car nigger?
Or just hoping for a Beavis and butthead impression nigger. Fucking stooge.
How am I the only one that sees you this way nigger?
Do you do it to hurt me nigger?
0 notes
tojamesandwilliam · 1 month
Text
So what happened after your final visit?.
Well alot , that's a story I have to tell in person because I'd be typing this for a very long time. I'm not worried about showing any emotion to you so it will flow quite easily for me to explain.
For starters I got a ton of hate , as you'd expect. People don't take child removal kindly anymore than they do abortions. It's a taboo and some people are actually quite triggered and opinionated by it. It's seen as scummy and that it's a common thought that people who have children removed are either low life drug and alcohol abusers, dirty and homeless or just all around child abusers. It's the lowest of the low of women hood. Women get the most hate in my opinion. As it's usually a natural instinct for any living parent to protect its own. Sometimes people don't think of circumstantial reasons because they simply cannot mentalise something they have never been through or what someone was going through , what it was like and how it felt , because if they did , they wouldn't think wo low of the ones who truly struggled.
I got told I needed my uterus slicing... I'm not going to name as it's irrelevant but that was some hate mail through social media , that wasnt long after the order went through..
I then got lots of messages from two other people at the same time! They where related to each other..and discussed me between them and decided they'd like to have their opinions because they where angry about my situation and thought they'd shame me for it. It was mostly at least I haven't put a man first before my kids , at least i still have my kids , and so on you get my gist...
They then shared a Facebook post : when the bitch who has already lost kids gets pregnant again 🙄...and few people laughed at it knowing who it was about. (ME)
It went on like that , constant cyber hate... but it's all stopped now because said people got a taste of their own dealings with children's services and now understand how hurtful it can really be.
I used to upload pictures of you all the time to celebrate all the lovely times , until people started commenting, 'bit too late for that now!! They aren't yours!' .
All I really deal with now is that some family and friends don't really want to associate with me , I have had few delete me as a friend , ignore me in public pretending I'm not there. Some people just say as far as hi and disinclude me , like if I'm at a gathering they don't want to be there , they make an excuse. Or if I'm not there they'll ask about who is going to be there and if I'm not mentioned they'll go. It's pretty obvious and is very uncomfortable but I'm not worried about what people think YOU are my concern , all 4 of you.
Most people deal with prison sentences but the biggest sentence is 18+ years you loose of your child's life , the public treat you like they're prison officers and you are the scummy prisoner.
But there you go if it's any comfort at all , birth parents DONT have it easy.
0 notes
winderlylandchime · 7 months
Note
1/2 And we are at 5x03 and he is excited to see Britin move in together….yeah… ‘i don’t understand in what world Brian would suck at filling up a club? Maybe the first day, sure BUT DAYS? Plural? Come on, they are making my baby boy look bad’ The groan that he let out when Mel and Linds came on screen is actually hilarious ngl. He was just dead silent and every time either of them would speak, he would just groan loudly. ‘Hold the fuck up, she’s now venting to Brian? What is he? The local therapist? Wow her hair is horrible. Nevermind, I guess he’s the local charity organization.’ And we are now at Justin/Ben/Mikey painting the house scene ‘Justin needs to paint a painting for Brian’s office. Why hasn’t he yet? (Ben mentions Britin getting a house) I highly doubt that will ever happen. I like the loft. Why is Justin so doubtful about it? See! Even Blondie knows the loft is better (ben says he needs to carry mikey in and justin says he wouldnt know what married people do) me and Justin are both gonna puke right now.’ ‘Why is Mike such a bitch? Also where the fuck is Hunter? Did he forget he has another kid? I will give my kidney up to get Brian and Justin back and not see this anymore’ Brian pops up on screen literally a second later ‘I’LL TAKE IT! They want to tear down the club for a gallery? WAIT *pauses ep* imagine a world where Brian is struggling with starting up his club like this and that someone who wants to tear it down for a gallery is Justin. Oh the hatred they’d have for each other, theyd fuck it out and be angry that theyre fucking, I should write scripts for movies. OH he said galleria not gallery. Never mind then but my idea still sounds dope. Brian looks so fucking pretty.’ The scene where Em is introduced as the Queer Guy is up *looks at his cast* ‘well this is feeling like an attack now. Why is everyone so rude to Emmett? Fuck them.’ ‘DEB IS LEAVING THE DINER?! Why? She’s retiring FOR A MAN? We aren’t worth all that. Why is blondie making me feel like he regrets being back in Pittsburgh?’ And we are finally getting some Britin and he got all happy finally ‘MY BOYS! FINALLY! (Brian hugs Justin from behind) AHHHHHHHHH LOOK AT HIM ALL AFFECTIONATE AND SHIT! Wait he dropped out again? Of course Bri Bri wants him to go back to school. Man, where was this 20 years ago? I feel like I would’ve actually graduated if I saw this and had 5 years of Brian telling me to go to school. *looks at me* dont tell dad. Of course Brian is offering him a job! Thatd be cute. Why am i having feelings over Justin putting away Brian’s suit? (The sunshine how did i scene is up!!!!) OH MY FUCKING GOD *pauses tv and slides down from the couch on the floor so he’s now sitting on the floor* no he fucking didn’t! I’m glad all three of us are aware of that!’ ‘Not Ted and Justin being Blondie Besties. Okay, Queer Guy let’s go Emy! Oh god this is bad. *covers up his face* this is so bad. What did they do to my Emmett? IS THAT ROSIE FUCKING O’DONNELL?! That was so bad. And youre telling me justin didn’t have a single joke?’ Rosie (i forgot her name) tells Deb that her husband caught her kissing her friend while making cinnamon buns ‘i can see how that makes a person wanna kiss a friend.. it’s homies supporting homies *forgets about the cast and tries to make a fist realizes it, so he makes a fist with his left arm* Ally…that was weak. I’m so sorry Rosie O’Donnell, you deserve better. I’m ashamed of this’ ‘oh Lindsay. She’s just as dumb as Michael. And that hair is still horrible’ ‘THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT! I told you Brian would make Babylon insane but you thought I was dumb! The place is PACKED! Look at Blondie standing next to his man at his club. Supportive boyfriends. Wait the club is empty?! HE PAYED THEM? That’s actually smart. Did Blondie come up with this? I love this so much.‘ ‘YOU GO ROSIE O’DONNELL! Im confused why she’s here but you go girl!’ ‘THEY THINK EMMETT IS NOT QUEER ENOUGH?’ the scene cuts to the custody bullshit ‘did Mel forget that she also cheated? All three of them are so fucking stupid. OH LINDSAY IS A BITCH.’
Hold the fuck up, she’s now venting to Brian? What is he? The local therapist? Wow her hair is horrible. Nevermind, I guess he’s the local charity organization. YEAH he's the local therapist, charity organization, fundraiser, etc etc.
I HATE MIKEY AND BEN in this season with a passion. Ugh. And then they go roping Justin into their nonsense.
Yeah Emmy being the Queer Guy is going to make a lot of uncomfortable commentary about that show given your brother is a fan. Remind him that the original version of the show was not what it is today (I definitely watched it back then too, I won't lie)
Also can we have your brother write a fic where Justin wants to open a gallery in place of Babylon and it's an enemies-to-lovers fic? OMG Justin got sent to conversion therapy, comes back this uptight version of himself, wants to take down the big bad gay club and meets Brian and...
LBR your brother, at this point, would do anything BriBri asked him. ;) including go back to college.
The how did I scene is everything. These are the moments we need to survive this awful season.
And the Rosie O'Donnell plot line. I don't even know...
0 notes
wormsin · 10 months
Text
I Need to be the Most Fashionable Bitch at the Airport
8/20/23
I'm at the airport heading to Grandpa's memorial. I'm wearing a black a-shirt that says "ALL THINGS ARE DELICATELY CONNECTED" (jenny holzer truism; gift), oversized black short-sleeve button up with unidentified painting of The Last Judgment (my one aliexpress purchase of weird button ups), grey sweatshirt under black motorcycle jacket (allsaints, mom utterly spoiling me), black cargo pants, sneakers, 3M aura mask.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
this combination is extremely comfortable and also lets me be the most fashionable person at the airport, an extremely low bar. as a transmasc its my god-given right to wear oversized shirts. it helps the fit issue of having more hip than mens shirts account for, and can widen the shoulder. i feel most comfortable in clothes that drape my back and hips, that dont come in at the waist, so i often wear these button ups open. its one of two silhouettes that dont make me insanely dysmorphic.
oversized transmasc fashion is sometimes ridiculed but personally im a fan, even as someone who believes right fit is important. 'right ' is just relative. trans/queer people are often manipulating our proportions to pass or signal, and thats because fit and silhouette in fashion is gendered.
Tumblr media
off the bat, wearing oversized or proportion-fucking clothing is a lot easier when youre straight sized because there's more clothes for you period and you can find things a size up. also fatness is gendered in a complex way so Your Millage May Vary. anyway—
right now men's and women's silhouettes are very similar. its all slim and about moralizing and accentuating the ''"natural body"". and by accentuate I mean make women look skinnier with a fatter ass and men look skinnier with more muscles. it sucks ass. I could go off on a long rant about the politics of athleisure. there are more variations in shape in streetwear etc. but mens office and formal wear is all very slim right now (derogatory).
this is very different from 1600s france or 1950s america, where the male and female form in fashion were quite different. please dont make the mistake of thinking this uniformity/unisexing is a linear, progressive trend. there are rather cycles of feminizing menswear and masculinizing womenswear based on previous generations (1890s, 1920s, 1960s-now kind of).
so right now, if we want to 'pass' or genderfuck or navigate being gendered correctly, we rely on fine-haired signals. (it's easier to queer code and be read as 'some flavor of gay' ime.) and a lot of that is based on the shape of our bodies. wearing a men's jacket isn't going to shift my gender signals much since women wear menswear inspired womenswear and, to a lesser extent, menswear—but wearing a mens jacket a size up so my shoulders seem wider will shift the needle more. and even if it doesn't, I like how it looks.
there's not actually a formula for this because passing and gendering are highly specified to location, culture, race, age, fatness, how aware of trans people someone is, if there are other queers around you, etc.
more interesting than dialogue about passing are the weirdo trans/queer fashions happening right now which, like all interesting fashion these days, actually have bold shapes. transmasc, butch, and stud fashion often make use of oversized and baggy clothes, especially with the 90s / cargo / wide pant resurgence. and there's lots going on with weirdo niche fashion like clowncore. people were dragging Elliot Page's fashion (Balenciaga 2022, 2021 met gala) but its deliberate.
I feel pretty gay and trans at the airport, especially when I hit the middle of the country. but I did once see a man flagging black at an airport with a tattoo that said "ITS A LIFESTYLE"—so there's room for improvement.
1 note · View note