#i need to sort those bad
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New year new “shove it away and start anew”
#also godamn 124 files….#i need to sort those bad#some i still wanna finish but rn my ocd is bad and i need. clean.#new#fresh#shed my skin
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Kit sparring flirting being a brat
#kit tanthalos#jade claymore#tanthamore#kit x jade#willow 2022#willow#willow spoilers#tbh i missed her being a cocky little shit#glad to see it back#i know in my brainspace that those sort of sword flourishes are impractical and honestly if jade wasn't down SO BAD kit woulda been stabbed#but they're still so fun to see!!#it's official lads i have lost any chill i ever had#this episode this SCENE really just !!!!#i'm so happy that these characters and this story exists in the world#sword lesbians of my gay lil heart#i think i need a gif tag
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my goal for youtube is to not accept sponsors. sure, who doesn't want money. but i don't trust those mfs + I fucking hate corporate advertising hellscape world. it would ruin the vibes of my videos
#I think im reaching a sub count where it would be realistic that I could get reached out to about that.#But like I swear every one of those companies that reaches out to influencers has some sort of issue lol#if I ever take a sponsor someday know that it means I need money Bad
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Son of Ogre
#*proceeds to French kiss his gf*#those scenes caught me so off guard like WHAT but also aww both are down bad for each other <3#baki hanma#baki the grappler#baki son of ogre#baki#my art#sketch#I need more girlies in the fandom like do you know how many fics this fandom has?? NOT ENOUGH#(girlies in a gender neutral way)#there’s even less fanart but I mean fandom-type of fanart if ya know what I mean#no but fr when he and his gf are in screen I feel like I gotta cover my eyes you never know when they’ll start climbing each other#BUT ALSO#it’s sort of refreshing seeing a shonen protag who seems to actually like his partner… like I was expecting a bromance not THAT#not complaining though they are cute
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don’t get me wrong I think the general interpretation of Leo being like “I put up a cocky front but deep down I don’t actually think I’m that great and that’s why I have something to prove” is good. It’s cool, plenty of drama/angst potential and probably what the creators were going for, I’m here for it.
But there is a distinct appeal to me of the slightly-to-the-left interpretation of Leo being like “it’s not a front, I know I’m that good/smart/skilled, but I also know I’m seen by others as just the goofball face man and that’s why I have something to prove.”
#Rottmnt#Wild metaphor incoming but it’s like the difference between a hersheys bar and fancy Ghirardelli or something#At the end of the day they’re both chocolate. But ones got a bit more depth.#where was I going with this again idk I got caught up in food metaphor#It’s like. With the first one it boils down to character A (in this case Leo) going “I’m useless because I’m not good at [thing]”#Resulting in those around him either going “of course you’re good at thing! Remember the time you were good at thing?”#Or sometimes “it doesn’t matter that you’re not good at [thing] we love you regardless of what you can provide”#And again THATS GOOD THATS SOME GOOD SHIT#I LOVE THAT#but with the latter it’s more like “I know I’m good at thing *but I don’t know how to prove it to you*”#And that gives you the best of both worlds where you CAN get character A feeling bad but not for their lack of thing#But because if no can see it surely they *must* be doing something wrong right?#And ALSO you get the characters around them getting all sorts of feelings of “we didn’t do enough to show we believe in them”#Or “we didn’t notice how hard they tried”#Cuz you can get that a little in the first one but it can come off as kinda meh cuz they didn’t actually do anything wrong#It also has more opportunities for emotions besides straight sadness#You can have anger and conflict of “why am I not good enough for you?!”#That straight sef deprecation doesn’t always allow for#You can also have jealously and envy that feels less toxic and more justified#Not that it strictly needs to be justified mind you#Sometimes some toxic feelings stemming from perceived inadequacy are fuckin *chefs kiss*#But again it’s abt the VARIETY yknow#This isn’t even about Rottmnt anymore I’m just rambling#It’s my post and I get to choose the bullshit tags
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sigh
#be careful icarus lest you fly too close to the sun and sort of start to understand what those middle schoolers were talking about#<< person who is kind of unironically enjoying danganronpa. if only it weren’t bad#i need to rescue all the female characters from this game. except junko she can stay#no one cancel me for this its just that it’s close enough to ace attorney that it’s activating the sleeper agent that was put in me in 2020#personal
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Am I the only one that every time I get myself into new fandom I just sigh, knowing fully well that I just got next 20+ x reader, y/n, x Oc!whateverthefuck or just any form of self insert tags to blacklist?
#as aegosexual its specific kind of hell#“i dont have problem with smut (for me other forms of fics too but its just preferences) as long as IM not part of it” is#quite literally a definition. im physically incapable of reading those without having imagining that instead of y/n there#is ANY character that appears in lore its based on and feel the urge to put it into google docs and “correct” it just so im actually able t#enjoy it. not that selfinsert is anything fundamentally bad. i just treat it sort of like kink that i don't understand#i dont want to understand and DEFINITELY don't want to see it#tldr: i need to blacklist way more fnaf movie related tags than i ever wanted to#and finding them all is harder than you think#last time i had to add TEN SEPARATE TAGS#for ONE person#aegosexual#ace struggles#banning y/n from appearing in post itself doesn't work that well cause day/night exists#acespec#I JUST WROTE 'aego'... in tags and got THREE SEPARATE PROPOSITIONS of self insert#WHY
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it's so crazy to be in a really healthy relationship but still have emotional problems because every time i want to catastrophize about things with my girlfriend i'm like "buddy that doesn't even make any sense are you sure that's not your brain problems 🤨"
#like in a weird way when are extremely anxious being in a bad relationship is sort of validating#because you're like well i HAVE to be vigilant about the problems! to protect myself!#which makes it hard to work on those reflexive fears because you're like well the worst has happened before so i'm right actually#i realize i'm not breaking new ground by being like dysfunctional dynamics make you reach for maladaptive behaviors to cope#but it just feels nice to be able to put them down and be like maybe i don't need these anymore#and to know that if people are shitty to me i don't have to learn ways to work around it i can just stop keeping them close most of the time#who knew that you could learn and grow as a person and be happy even#personal nonsense
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wish i knew the forgotten realms lore better...how am i meant to make my little ocs in this state of ignorance
#i'm so interested in how people relate to the gods in this world which is sort of hard to glean from the wiki#thinking abt those notes in the ilmater temple - 'even bhaal has things to teach us 😔🙏' otoh but the absolute cult is 'heresy'#like who decides that? what does heresy /mean/ in this polytheistic setup where each god's cult seems to p much do their own thing#& it seems like even among the good-aligned gods ppl tend to pick one to hitch their wagon to in a pretty committed way#what does polytheism mean to the average joe in this world#i need to know#i need to make a little guy about it#wrapped up shadowheart's quest and....idk man!#just going off the lore as presented in bg3 so far it's set up distrust for deities pretty much across the board#like babe is your new cult better? bc they've got angel imagery? i guess so#the whole problem of evil thing - the dead three shar et al being so extant & active in the world makes the (apparently?) more distant#benevolence of good gods pretty limp by comparison#so much of what draws lay people to them seems to be protection from the very real material threat posed by the evil ones?#& at least SH is in a better place to choose than say. the goblins#vast swathes of people just born under a bad sign in this world#i heard somewhere that if you don't get a god to claim your soul for their afterlife it just kind of withers away in limbo for eternity?#kinda fucked up#some protection racket shit dude#being a mortal in FR like you're just a little guy in a precarious cosmological situation aren't u#to be clear none of this is a criticism i think it's very fun & chewy#rife with cosmic horror potential#bg3#bg3 spoilers#edit: i mean it's a little bit of a criticism in that i don't think the game sells SH's conversion super well#if the intention is just to be like. yay white-hat god good ^_^#but i don't hate the worldbuilding implications if we take the iffiness as read
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The Pokemon HOME app limiting random features and information to either the mobile or console versions is SO clunky and annoying.
My goal: to check which of my favorite Pokemon and shinies stored in HOME don't have the Paldea Champion Ribbon yet, so I can bring those into Scarlet and get it for them. But! You can only view what ribbons a Pokemon has on the mobile version of the software! And you can't move Pokemon to your switch games from mobile!!! So you have to:
quit out of the console app, if you opened it already because you thought this would be a relatively simple task
open the app on mobile
manually document which Pokemon don't have the ribbon- like, on a piece of paper or something
close the mobile app (you can't have both versions of the app open simultaneously)
open the app on console
move them from HOME into Scarlet, referring to aforementioned list
Now you might say "There is a custom tag feature in Pokemon HOME! You could apply a tag to the Pokemon you plan to move instead of making a physical note on a piece of paper!" But unfortunately, the only aspect of the tag you can see on the console version is the color- the name of the tag isn't visible. and I'm already using every color of tag available
(also: you can only make and apply tags on mobile. other mobile exclusive things: wonder trade and gts, viewing 90% of achievements, viewing models, switching between a pokemon's stats for different games it can go in without switching what game you're planning on moving things between)
#pokemon home#pokemon#i need a text post tag#i have more complaints too. i should make a comprehensive list. just for me#like: shinies don't have any symbol marking them as such on the GTS. so for the really subtle shinies? you just have to look REAL careful#whenever you import pokemon from Bank they automatically get tagged with a new tag with the name of the Box that they were imported from#which is maybe useful to somebody but its just super annoying for me to have to keep deleting the 'Kanto 1' tag from all of my Bank imports#the lighting in the model viewer is really fucking bad and makes the pokemon look flat and undefined#overlapping areas that are the same color blend together visually#for that matter; the HOME renders are really fucking ugly. compare them to the sugi art they're posed after sometime. terrakion. its WILD#the lag when moving between pages of boxes on the console version when you have a lot of pokemon stored in HOME is MISERABLE#the mobile app and console app have different sets of achievements that are only viewable on their respective apps???? its weird#can't reorder pokemon's box positions on mobile; you just get a big list that you can sort different ways#this doesn't affect their box placement at all#the tags seem really useful at first but if you're moving pokemon between HOME and games a lot?#you have to reapply the tags to those pokemon every time you put them back in HOME because that data is lost once they leave the app#they never fixed the Spinda problem with BDSP; they just made it so that you can't bring Spinda in or out of those games
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i think the most tragic thing in the byler fandom is that I have not seen any celebrity secret relationship aus 😔
#this is another “why don't you people like aus” post I guess lmao#“why is st*ddie so popular?” well you see those people write about a Variety Of Things. we have. fantasy. and spiderman#ok no I'm joking I know there's people writing a lot of aus I know this because they're sitting in my marked for later haunting me#(very sorry to the tumblr user writing the 1930s au and the other one writing the dirty dancing au I'm especially haunted by those 2)#I just have not felt as passionate about byler. in months. and am not reading my marked for later#so anyway I know there's aus. it does feel like we're still lacking some fundamental ones though. LIKE A GODDAMN CELEBRITY AU#do you know how bad I'm craving a good celebrity au rn#someone's probably written one I could probably go find one I just don't know what sort of tags to try#bc it could be like. band au! or actor au! or celebrity au! or twitch streamer au! like idk how someone would tag it#especially since I'm open to a variety of Known By The Public aus#I literally just need an au where they're famous sorry#stranger things#byler
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Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...
#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random#internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too#just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc.#My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates'#and 'worst roomates' would be the least common#very long also since I like to be thorough I guess#THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more#likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous#people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc.#(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic#lol... I need a peaceful quiet household)#Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site#before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0#The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a#''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers#to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc.#But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers#that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category#then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the#'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization#and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that#there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal#'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc.#BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz#for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something#now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm....#(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)
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Okay i have yet to see a post about this that isnt filled with ppl being Annoying as Fuck on it, but,
theyve found wreckage of the submersible, it imploded (thank god, thats better than a drawn out suffocation over the course of several days, implosion means it was pretty much instantaneous) and the us navy have revealed they heard a weird sound on sunday from about where communication with the sub was lost, that was probably the sound of the implosion, [implied that they didnt say anything cos they didnt want to jump to conclusions without evidence of a wreckage, if there was a chance they were still alive.] no idea what the banging sounds were.
I do hope rescue efforts are extended to the migrants off the coast of greece, and am angry and horrified at their mistreatment, and that the media clearly cares less for their fates than that of the billionaires on the sub.
also, while i have you here,
The difference between a submersible and a submarine is not that one is safer. The titan was a submersible that was unsafe, but that is not because it was a submersible.
A submarine (or sub) is a watercraft capable of independent operation underwater.
A submersible is a watercraft designed to operate underwater, usually supported by a nearby surface vessel, platform, shore team or sometimes a larger submarine.
submarines generally dont go as deep as our deepest submersibles, but some can be down there for months at a time bc it is like. a self sufficient Ship. not all submersibles can go crazy deep, but to my knowledge, the only crewed vessels that can go that deep, are submersibles. (Alvin, deepsea challenger, limiting factor, trieste, fendouzhe or "striver").
#toy txt post#titan submersible#if ppl start being annoying on this post. ill turn off reblogs and block all of you. make your own post.#reblog the other ones where people are already being annoying#yes i hate billionaires. but im glad it was a quick death. it was a horrific situation. hope those migrants are given support and help.#i hope oceangate is fined to hell and back and bankrupted and never gets to put anyone in any sort of vehicle ever again#especially not in the ocean. im a little glad that ceo is dead in his own stupid sub im just frustrated he was able to take other ppl with#him. the fact that he was able to operate that unregulated non safety standard meeting ass vehicle and charge people money to ride in it is#fucking insane and unconcioable however you spell that#and now i need to go shower real quick and try to get like. a little over 3hrs of sleep. which will suck but i did accidentally nap for#like? 2 hrs already so it doesnt suck as bad as it could. goodnight please dont be stupid on this post please please please#if you have a hot take on the situation im begging you to hot take it Some Where Else! thank you! good bye#im not gonna bother linking shit feel free to fact check just fuckin. google titan submersible. James Cameron is tossing his 2 cents in now#saw 2 separate articles on that already. thats fine i guess he has been down there in safer vehicles so i guess he can shit talk how unsafe#it is. anyway. saw someone in the comments of a post say it was a submersible bc it was too unsafe to be a submarine and i wanted to start#screaming. thats not what those fucking words mean! at all! god!#irl death#idk what else to tag#behave. bye
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Between TF and my other fandoms like BG3 and TES, I keep finding myself making OCs that have some element of "battle hardened hero who is actually good and righteous, but so traumatized by the toll of war that even after the war ends they feel empty/wrecked and can't enjoy the fruits of victory" and I'm not sure if it's bc I gravitate to a certain type of media where such OCs fit in best, or bc I have a specific character archetype I like and gravitate towards media that contains those things.
#squiggposting#possibly a mix of both bc idk if i've gone into detail here but war stories are one of my favorite genre of stories#like for fun fictional reasons but also for real life political and moral and emotional implications#war stories are literally so fucking cool man i feel like they get a bad rap for just being propaganda tools#and obv a lot of them can be/are explicitly made to be but also like#(i feel like i'm stealing a quote from one such story) war stories are also a method for the soldiers of the war to tell their side#and usually the soldier's side of the story tells of the LESS glorious and propagandistic sides#maybe ive just had the pleasure of having really good teachers/professors but like#most of the war stories i've read are specifically ABOUT the bridge bt war propaganda and the actual experience of fighting in a war#and i think even the ones where the soldier in question supports the war (american sniper comes to mind)#it's very interesting and dare i say important to read it and understand when and why and how they came to support war#like idk i think it's one of those things where ppl shy away from war stories bc#'ew gross it's all pro war probably american imperialist propaganda written by oppressive killers trying to make us feel sorry for them'#without understanding... idk. the difference between an individual soldier's evil and the evil of an entire institution?#some sort of anti intellectualism regarding soldiers as being inherently evil ppl who aren't to be listened to or taken seriously?#it's not a matter of like. you don't need to like or sympathize with them per se. but i think part of understanding and criticizing#the institution of war is getting the ground level testimonies about it. and more of them are critical than some ppl believe#plus i mean FUCK usamerican imperialism it doesn't need to be about US wars! other countries lived thru other wars that are also important!#war stories may have their strongest association w american imperialism but that doesn't mean other war stories don't exist#idk sorry for rambling in the tags
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The last time I got a bit drunk I started doing my dishes and messaging everyone I knew. I was having 3 conversations at once and finally accomplishing a task I'd been putting off all day. how does THAT work. I'm inventing new unique ways to be a failwoman (gender neutral)
#i'm having the world's stupidest problems#if i revealed the specific amount of time i have spent procrastinating on trying to get a job despite waling up every day intending to try#you all would think i was insane#other life tasks too#sometimes i will want to do something and it will be like. okay if i was normal i could do this in months but#let's say 3-5 years#i feel bad about it too not because i want to be productive for some rich guys somewhere but because!#i have goals for my life i would prefer to stay busy and do something that benefits someone somewhere (not those rich guys)#i like doing tasks even#i would prefer to not be sitting here thinking#and if i could just master basic life tasks we could move on to fun creative goals i have too or things i'd like to try#anyway. perhaps i will just try different substances until i can hit the off switch on whatever that is for a sec#i really just need like 3 months of not being like this. total. forever#i truly think i could sort it out in 3 months
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reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)
#⚠️#personal#having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason#cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin#clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person#regardless of what the actual post is about#i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions#cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have#the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy#idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person#the fact i even struggle with this#sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me#maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared#cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping#how much is too much when do i stop#<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense#like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of#those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do#this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something#cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man#im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion#i feel like most times its both#i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like#showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online#idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd#vent#so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again#lord i need to get out of here
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