Back bc im not okay <///3

Naoya so uptight and clan this and family that- he has no time for sex!!! Him getting a taste of pussy for the first time after you seduce him and you're thinking he's gonna be uptight and vanilla but he gives it to you nasty, spitting on your tits, slapping your pussy, making you suck his balls after he nut in you uhhhhhhh he definitely gets addicted and ur pussy is his now :3 i just know the dirty talk would be immaculate and its literally just him being his asshole self

-chosos loyal and unquestionable everloving bbg anon 🙈 (can u see the brainworms ur last drabble gave meeee)

fully stand behind the fact that naoya is a gross individual in the bedroom.

the man was always busy with something, whether it was killing curses, dealing with necessary clan bullshit, or being his usual cheery self to everyone around him, but that didn’t mean he didn’t think about getting his dick wet.

it occupied his mind more than he cared to admit - the thought of sinking into something warm, wet, tight, soft, fuck. watching porn was a frequent occurrence, usually in the dead of the night after he finally dragged himself back to the estate after a tiring day.

he’d search for a video that got his skin hot and his tip leaky, too tired to get mad at the fact that the actress starring in it looked damn near identical to you, and shuck his pants down before wrapping a calloused hand around his hardening cock.

porn is always graphic, fucking obviously, but the porn he tends to watch is always a bit more…vulgar. it borders on being too much - too much spit, too much cum, too much squirt, too much noise. it’s messy, how wet those sluts cunts get while a cock is fucking into them (would you get that wet? pussy sticky and drippy just at the sight of him). it’s loud, the way their holes squelch when they’re getting fucked, and that tacky sound that rings out (would you be loud like that? pussy practically singing his praises while he’s making a mess in it).

he’s coming before he knows it, teeth gritted and muscles tensed to bite back a hiss of your name.

after that it’s just a matter of time and proximity. you’re always around - talking, laughing, smiling, existing, and he’s just a man, after all. he has his dick buried in you before he knows it, and he was hooked the moment he pulled your panties off and caught sight of what you were hiding between your thighs.

and he was a virgin, too, but you would have never known it, not with the way he hadn’t seemed the least bit hesitant when he grabbed a fistful of your hair and pushed your head down between his legs and smirked as he told you to ‘suck’. or the way he had pushed your breasts together, slotted his cock between the fleshy mounds, and lubricated you with spit and cum. or the way he had pulled his hand back and slapped at your pussy when you had squeezed him just right and nearly made him cum too early.

naoya is very much nasty. i think that doubles when his partner is shy or just not that experienced bc he likes to overwhelm them with the vulgarity of it all. he thinks it’s funny when he spits in their mouth and they flinch and frown before their eyes gloss over when they realize they like it. or the amazed, slightly horrified look they get when he shakes his cock in their face, a mix of his cum and theirs frothing on the base, and demands that they lick him clean. or the squeals and sobs they let out when he’s sucking his cum out of their hole and making them have a taste.

some of my favorite comments from dev patel for the monkey man AMA he did on reddit recently! x

AO3 Ship Stats: Year In Bad Data

You may have seen this AO3 Year In Review.

It hasn’t crossed my tumblr dash but it sure is circulating on twitter with 3.5M views, 10K likes, 17K retweets and counting. Normally this would be great! I love data and charts and comparisons!

Except this data is GARBAGE and belongs in the TRASH.

I first noticed something fishy when I realized that Steve/Bucky – the 5th largest ship on AO3 by total fic count – wasn’t on this Top 100 list anywhere. I know Marvel’s popularity has fallen in recent years, but not that much. Especially considering some of the other ships that made it on the list. You mean to tell me a femslash HP ship (Mary MacDonald/Lily Potter) in which one half of the pairing was so minor I had to look up her name because she was only mentioned once in a single flashback scene beat fandom juggernaut Stucky? I call bullshit.

Now obviously jumping to conclusions based on gut instinct alone is horrible practice... but it is a good place to start. So let’s look at the actual numbers and discover why this entire dataset sits on a throne of lies.

Here are the results of filtering the Steve/Bucky tag for all works created between Jan 1, 2023 and Dec 31, 2023:

Not only would that place Steve/Bucky at #23 on this list, if the other counts are correct (hint: they're not), it’s also well above the 1520-new-work cutoff of the #100 spot. So how the fuck is it not on the list? Let’s check out the author’s FAQ to see if there’s some important factor we’re missing.

The first thing you’ll probably notice in the FAQ is that the data is being scraped from publicly available works. That means anything privated and only accessible to logged-in users isn’t counted. This is Sin #1. Already the data is inaccurate because we’re not actually counting all of the published fics, but the bots needed to do data collection on this scale can't easily scrape privated fics so I kinda get it. We’ll roll with this for now and see if it at least makes the numbers make more sense:

Nope. Logging out only reduced the total by a couple hundred. Even if one were to choose the most restrictive possible definition of "new works" and filter out all crossovers and incomplete fics, Steve/Bucky would still have a yearly total of 2,305. Yet the list claims their total is somewhere below 1,500? What the fuck is going on here?

Let’s look at another ship for comparison. This time one that’s very recent and popular enough to make it on the list so we have an actual reference value for comparison: Nick/Charlie (Heartstopper). According to the list, this ship sits at #34 this year with a total of 2630 new works. But what’s AO3 say?

Off by a hundred or so but the values are much closer at least!

If we dig further into the FAQ though we discover Sin #2 (and the most egregious): the counting method. The yearly fic counts are NOT determined by filtering for a certain time period, they’re determined by simply taking a snapshot of the total number of fics in a ship tag at the end of the year and subtracting the previous end-of-year total. For example, if you check a ship tag on Jan 1, 2023 and it has 10,000 fics and check it again on Jan 1, 2024 and it now has 12,000 fics, the difference (2,000) would be the number of "new works" on this chart.

At first glance this subtraction method might seem like a perfectly valid way to count fics, and it’s certainly the easiest way, but it can and did have major consequences to the point of making the entire dataset functionally meaningless. Why? If any older works are deleted or privated, every single one of those will be subtracted from the current year fic count. And to make the problem even worse, beginning at the end of last year there was a big scare about AI scraping fics from AO3, which caused hundreds, if not thousands, of users to lock down their fics or delete them.

The magnitude of this fuck up may not be immediately obvious so let’s look at an example to see how this works in practice.

Say we have two ships. Ship A is more than a decade old with a large fanbase. Ship B is only a couple years old but gaining traction. On Jan 1, 2023, Ship A had a catalog of 50,000 fics and ship B had 5,000. Both ships have 3,000 new works published in 2023. However, 4% of the older works in each fandom were either privated or deleted during that same time (this percentage is was just chosen to make the math easy but it’s close to reality).

Ship A: 50,000 x 4% = 2,000 removed works Ship B: 5,000 x 4% = 200 removed works

Ship A: 3,000 - 2,000 = 1,000 "new" works Ship B: 3,000 - 200 = 2,800 "new" works

This gives Ship A a net gain of 1,000 and Ship B a net gain of 2,800 despite both fandoms producing the exact same number of new works that year. And neither one of these reported counts are the actual new works count (3,000). THIS explains the drastic difference in ranking between a ship like Steve/Bucky and Nick/Charlie.

How is this a useful measure of anything? You can't draw any conclusions about the current size and popularity of a fandom based on this data.

With this system, not only is the reported "new works" count incorrect, the older, larger fandom will always be punished and it’s count disproportionately reduced simply for the sin of being an older, larger fandom. This example doesn’t even take into account that people are going to be way more likely to delete an old fic they're no longer proud of in a fandom they no longer care about than a fic that was just written, so the deletion percentage for the older fandom should theoretically be even larger in comparison.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the author of this "study" KNEW the data was tainted and chose to present it as meaningful anyway. You will only find this if you click through to the FAQ and read about the author’s methodology, something 99.99% of people will NOT do (and even those who do may not understand the true significance of this problem):

The author may try to argue their post states that the tags "which had the greatest gain in total public fanworks” are shown on the chart, which makes it not a lie, but a error on the viewer’s part in not interpreting their data correctly. This is bullshit. Their chart CLEARLY titles the fic count column “New Works” which it explicitly is NOT, by their own admission! It should be titled “Net Gain in Works” or something similar.

Even if it were correctly titled though, the general public would not understand the difference, would interpret the numbers as new works anyway (because net gain is functionally meaningless as we've just discovered), and would base conclusions on their incorrect assumptions. There’s no getting around that… other than doing the counts correctly in the first place. This would be a much larger task but I strongly believe you shouldn’t take on a project like this if you can’t do it right.

To sum up, just because someone put a lot of work into gathering data and making a nice color-coded chart, doesn’t mean the data is GOOD or VALUABLE.

If the Sniffer doesn’t win the Mob Vote I’m starting a riot in the Minecraft Server

As a bisexual living for tigerghost I can’t help but imagine Sam and Frida as well, like goth/punk gfs. That’s so powerful. At the very least they must get along right and holy fuck they have to be dogging in Manny and Danny.

That time when your ex-boyfriend hook ups with a guy from another universe so you pull the ultimate power move and hook up his boyfriend's goth ex-girlfriend.

Sam and Frida would absolutely spend the nights when they're all hanging out together just dragging Manny and Danny through the dirt (with love). They spent years being part of the sassy sidekick gang, so you know that their smack talking game is peak. They immediately call out Manny and Danny any time either of them starts being affectionate with the other, and then the boys would start shooting back.

Meanwhile, Tucker is brooding in the corner wondering why he keeps agreeing to hang out with them when he knows he's just going to become the fifth wheel.

Edit: SamxFrida now known as Atomicgoth

How I (roughly) imagine this scale:

1- I see myself as a faster reader than the average person. I can breeze through a text quickly and still understand almost all of it

2- I read at a "normal" speed. I need to pace myself but can consistently read and comprehend a text in a reasonable time frame

3- I see myself as a slower reader than other people. It takes me a long time to get through a text and if I try to go too fast I won't understand it

Obviously this can vary by your mood, the type of text, etc. and this is a very imprecise scale with some overlap, I'm just casually curious!!

So i've noticed that in between this S1Ep1 scene at the Ritz

And this scene in the bookshop

Crowley, in the 6 hours that have passed (as told to us by God), has completely lost his curls

Therefore I have deduced that, perhaps somewhere between wine bottle 2 and 3, Crowley decided it would be a fun for Aziraphale to straighten his hair :)

The “love is what makes us human” logic is so goofy cause first of all, we know other animals love, but also??? Would you use that logic for any other species??? Like “yeah sniffing butts is what makes them dogs.” “Oh my god that golden retriever doesn’t sniff butts??? It’s obviously not a dog then!” Dude. I am a human because both of my biological parents are humans and that’s how genetics works. Leave me alone.

John is the most long suffering person who's ever lived. He comes back from the dark world for the SECOND (count em, second) time, now convinced he has to lie to arthur abt what he's been through. He feels guilty and defeated over whatever he did while in the dark world. I'm sure his soul is just aching to read beautiful poetry, to grow, to feel good abt himself. He's put arthur on this pedestal and he wants his love, wants to feel uplifted by him. But then he comes back and arthur is frothing at the mouth to commit murder, will not shut up abt how much he hates yellow, who IS John, who represents who John feels like he had become again because of his time in the dark world. And he can't even confide his feelings in arthur. How crushed he must feel. He must have absolutely despaired.

I slapped my pencil all over my screen for an hour and a half and this appeared

Based on @sunlitmcgee’s latest fic :’]

Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

sigh...................... i think we need to get 2016 undertale fandom levels of annoying. we need to take drastic measures. i want ISAT not just to be popular but to be NOTORIOUS. do you understand. do you understand me

Everyone hated Stanley, including The Line™

Previous // Next

[Robin scrambled over the back of the sofa and wedged himself beside Oscar, absently watching TV. Part of him hoped his father wouldn’t wake, but he was a notoriously light sleeper so the chances were slim. Sure enough, Oscar stirred, sleepily wrapping an arm around his son with a cosy hum] Oscar: Mmh-.. what time is it? Robin: I don’t know. Oscar: Late, then… [Robin shrugged a shoulder, the steady rhythm of his father’s heartbeat soothing his frayed nerves; he wished they could just stay like this forever-.. Oscar’s breathing softened as he threatened to drift off again though, reminding Robin why he’d clambered out of bed in the first place] Robin: Papa.. can I ask you something? Oscar: Anything. [Robin held his breath, readying himself for the inevitable barrage of Oscar’s unpleasant memories] Robin: Can you tell me the truth about what Larry said? I asked grandma, but she made me promise I’d ask you too-.. that you’d explain it better than her. Oscar: Is that what you’ve been thinking about this whole time? Robin: I don’t want you to die again… Oscar: I’m not going anywhere, I promise. Robin: You can’t exactly promise something like that. Oscar: I promise I’ll try my best not to, then. Robin: You still think about that sorta stuff though, don’t you? How do you know it won’t happen again? [Oscar sighed as he righted himself and settled Robin atop his knee, wondering what on earth Sidney had told him] Robin: She said you knew the risks-.. why’d you do it? Oscar: I wasn’t thinking straight-.. bit off more than I could chew. I was in a pretty bad place at the time. Robin: Why? Oscar: I like to keep things to myself, but it doesn’t do you any favours; I used to use all that nasty stuff to bury my feelings, to numb the pain it caused me to keep it all locked up n’ keep going. Robin: But everyone has secrets, don’t they? Oscar: They do, the fewer the better though-.. I think you’re as bad as me for bottling stuff up, but it’s so important to talk about things n’ let people help, ‘cause otherwise you’ll just end up finding unhealthy ways to cope instead. Robin: So, it happened by accident? Oscar: Yeah-.. it was pretty scary, to be honest. Robin: But it definitely wasn’t on purpose? Oscar: Sometimes I figured it’d be easier, but I didn’t want to die, no. Robin: I don’t want you to either, not ever. Oscar: It’s normal to be frightened of losing the people you love. Robin: Really? Oscar: Yeah-.. I used to worry about my grandad dying when I was your age. Sometimes it’d randomly pop into my head and I’d wonder what I’d do without him n’ get all pissy with everyone ‘til I could be alone, then I’d cry about it. [Robin felt a twinge of sadness yet smiled faintly, feeling slightly less weird for worrying so excessively] Robin: Sorry I asked grandma first… Oscar: It’s alright, being curious is normal too. [Oscar squeezed Robin tightly, semi-wishing he’d explained a little sooner; he was so mature for his age sometimes] Oscar: I’ll never ever be upset with you for asking questions, okay? There’s nothing you can’t talk to me about. Robin: I didn’t want to make you remember. Oscar: The past is what makes us who we are, buddy-.. I just hope I’ve made enough mistakes for the both of us…

ncuti gatwa being a massive david tennant fan is good for me, personally, in a similar way to how david tennant being a massive doctor who fan is good for me, personally, because it means the nerds and the fangirls are winning in this series

THE GOOOOUUGR