#i need to actual post the shit I've written ngl
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here they are, my skrunkles
#idk if I can hear erik whimpering through the screen or if Im just posting this at 2:47am and need to sleep#he's either painting something sexy or something dumb like bees#i like to think it's bees#they're underrated and deserve more content as a ship in this fandom#i need to actual post the shit I've written ngl#phantom of the opera#art#digital artist#poto#erik poto#artists on tumblr#christine daae#raoul de chagny#e/r/c#the phantom of the opera#erik's totally a sub fight me
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I know your read are closed, so you can delete this if you want or save for later but what about Vox x reader who is INCREDIBLY similar to him
-🦋anon
(Yes it is and official now. You also got me into Vox and I love him and his toxicity<3)
[ Entry #11 ] Vox with a reader who's incredibly similar to him
A/N Split into 2 parts because I have different thoughts on this one 🙏
Also some of these go into different posts I've made with headcanons and posts I'm gonna make atsp so yeah.
I strongly believe that option 2 is the best type of partner for someone like Vox.
CW: SFW, gn!reader, this is written with romantic relationships with him in mind but platonic in section 2 would also really work ngl
Someone exactly like him
- Exactly like him?
- He would actually hate you straight up.
- That's not in a self depreciating Vox actually hates himself way either-
- He wants constant power and control over everything and everyone.
- So someone trying to do the same? That would piss him off and honestly just make him try fight you into submission.
- Because if you're exactly like him, you would be trying to do the same to everyone, including him.
- I also get the sense that he wouldn't like someone like himself because dude needs to feel individual and special or his ego shatters to a million pieces lmao.
- So someone who's got the exact same personality, mask, motivations, even issues as him is an instant fuck no.
- He's very likely got a pathological fear of being replaced due to being an older tech demon (constantly trying to change his parts to be new and the best there is), so someone who's exactly like him, as maladaptive and parasitic to everything and everyone is instantly going to have him feeling threatened.
- May even try to pull a 'there can only be one' and possibly try to take you out over that. Especially if you're gaining notoriety at all.
- If you're just some random, he will probably just scoff and hypnotise you to stay tf away from him. May also try to shackle you into a contract under him because it gets his sadistic ass off to exercise power over those he deems a potential threat.
- The thing about being fake is also that fake usually knows fake. Shitty people see other shitty people. Especially when that shittiness is similar, let alone the same.
- He would be able to see through your shit, and you would likely be able to see through his too which would terrify him.
- He has his mask of perfection over his mask of being a total asshole to stave off anyone who scratches below the surface, and that sits over the actually vulnerable person he is under everything.
- So you being able to see that he's fake is instantly going to have him gunning to take you out or silence you in some way.
- Not to mention, he doesn't want to see his own flaws as being flaws. He needs to be seen as perfect (both by others but also himself) and deludes himself into thinking he's a God amongst men just waiting to become even more powerful then he already is.
- So having someone who is an exact mirror of not only his false presentation he puts out but also every single terrible, shameful thing about him?
- That would be absolutely chilling for him.
- I also say this because someone who's the exact same as him wouldn't want to change or better themselves at all either. I'll elaborate on why I mention this in the next section.
Someone who is like him but not an exact copy of him / or who was exactly like him but is recovered
- I think that a lot of the above would still apply, however, it would be less to the point that you would actually be an extremely desirable partner for him.
- In the beginning he'd absolutely still see you as a threat and try to avoid you/bring you down to a lesser position of power then him.
- But if you manage to get him over that with you?
- Yeah he's gonna be into a relationship with you.
- Vox needs a partner who can push him to change, to actually love him properly, but also satisfy his need to fight/ feel like he needs to win in the relationship and actually fight back against him on an equal playing field.
- A partner who's gunning for control and power but like. To a less extreme point, then what he goes at with devaluing the other person completely in that process would be something he's into.
- It's extremely entertaining to him to have rivalry in a partner, so if you are also publicly at odds with one another on the outside?
- Yeah, he's gonna be going crazy about it.
- Even better if he's losing the public rivalry.
- He will complain like an absolute bitch but the more you take his power - perceived or not - over you and your actions away from him, the more you're going to ease him into trying to mend his bs.
- Again, equal playing field is what's important. If he doesn't see his partner as an inherent equal then that's gonna be bad for obvious reasons, you being alike to him in several ways would level that more/make it easier to level.
- Also its good because if you've already managed your own similar/ former same behaviours, then you already have an idea of what direction and buttons to push with him to get him doing better.
- You would have a better chance at easing him into recovery to actually change rather then the chance that he'll pretend to change to manipulate you, or that he'll just push back out of spite because it feels like you're trying to control him.
- It's not all the same dealing with more complicated bad behaviour, of course, but it does certainly give you more of an idea of what will work as to what won't that other partners who are unlike him wouldn't have.
I kinda went more analysis here then overall warmth/drabble - sorry if that's what you more wanted 😭 I was just very excited to analyse this idea.
Masterlist
#vox#hazbin hotel#vox headcanons#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel vox x reader#vox x reader#I've gotta make the post analysing his relationships at some point so the 'needing to fight his partner in the relationship' point makes -#sense omg.#But yeah#I strongly believe a partner who's exactly like the second point and also his rival would literally be perfect for him.#There's also situations like the Troll!reader fic I wrote that I think would work out really well as a partner for him.#🦋 anon#i meant to get this one out yesterday but i overestimated my time to work on this
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i do think that the abuse or violence in Megatron and Starscream's relationship must either be talked about in TF Earthspark or just just taken out completley - i am BEGGING for the latter.
The writers (and even fandom) have not done good handling it at all, and I just don't think it needs to be something shoved in Earthspark. I think that Prime was probably the best example and chance for them to actually discuss it in a way that gave Starscream a voice, but also didn't excuse/pacify him but it just failed, completely. And fans in general just don't care, especially because most in prime thought he deserved every bad thing that happened to him, and the writers seemed to be intentionally be going out of his way to torture him. Like his actual abuse was made as a humorous thing and everyone, including fans and writers laughed.
Earthspark presents a much more sympathetic Megatron, and I just dont see how the abuse narrative could be handled or treated. I don't think, with how loved Megatron is now, that Starscream's narrative of abuse (if it existed) would be given the respect it needed because there is no way the fandom is going to turn on this Megatron, just like they didn't the majority of times Starscream was his victim (and i am talking mainly about in prime)
it would to me at least, just not make sense to weasle that narrtive in here (it is also out of character for earth spark megatron because he would've mentioned it by now. it is also obvious starscream may be someone important to him). and my biggest opinion is that their relationship would have such a bigger impact in Earthspark if it was good, if they respected each other, and if different sides, and ideas just tore them apart. It would be far more impactful to me if, even if they are angry toward one another, their relationship pre-Megatron switching sides was really good and healthy. Because it would make the development and Starscream's eventually fall into heroism (don't @ me i'm just manifesting) even more genuine and it would make their realtionship more unique. If there was conflict presented, not because they hated one another, but because they genuinely had respect for one another, then that is more unique and original.
Prime handled the abuse like garbage ngl, and IDW was hanging by a thread. And it was even worse in prime because starscream himself was very obviously queer coded and he was brutalized not just by megatron but everyone and i mean EVERYONE, and it was written out to be a very nasty joke, and something he deserved (and starscream is always queercoded, not just in prime, but tfp was the show that changed his WHOLE appearence in a way that pushed that idea for so many). Which people ate that shit up :/ So my hope and my predication is that, they are going to have a better relationship. Because the turbulent relationship just isn't going to work for this megatron and more importantly it is not fair for Starscream either.
this goes without being said, since i've seen at least two people imply that im woobifying starscream when i make these posts BUT, i am not trying to woobify or pacify his actions. like i know he isn't an innocent person and i know he's a villain - okay? okay?
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I'm actually really angry about this ngl:
This is why I don't believe fandom advocacy (i.e. arguing on behalf of a fictional character) necessarily equates to an actual conscious understanding of the topics at hand. Soft-blocking my blog and then making a follow-up in your own space discussing whatever problems you had in my post is one thing. I can respect that.
Reblogging my content and then immediately blocking me so that I can't see it -keeping my content on your blog (while misinterpreting everything I said) and enabling the rampant anon hate to funnel into my blog is an entirely different matter. And now I can't see anything, or even understand the arguments being thrown my way. That is incredibly disgusting fandom behavior - more so considering that I was speaking to a specific crowd that makes those arguments. And EVEN MORE, because my post was NOT an admonishment of the Darkling.
I made multiple points about oppression within oppression - I gave multiple examples of the ways it works with the dynamic between revolutionary characters and their relationships with people within the race/group (specifically women of color v. men of color; revolutionary v minor). I came from a primarily misogynoir angle - as I am a black woman. But the points were central and could be applied to any in a similar situation. And for the REAL WORLD IMPLICATION of my point to be ignored in favor of the fantasy element of the story is very heartbreaking and annoying. And very, very frustrating.
How are only implying real-world morals when we need to justify or sympathize with him? Like - I've seen so many comparisions to racism with Darkling and then none of the actual real world implication of what that may look like in a character. Like - think about Hoteps who oppose white supremacy only because they cannot participate. Racism is an ideology. Think of white feminism and how its opposition to patriarchy stems from the fact they cannot participate. Think of the way DV and abuse happens in minority homes as a result of racism. I really implore people to read Notes of a Native Son by James Baldwin. It talks about the inheritance of plight and how these manifest negatively in the household and creates trauma. And how we can reconcile (if ever) the anger and oppression with our own personhood.
I gave the reason I didn't like the *specific angle* of constantly sanitizing the Darkling's action in regards to two things (1) the other Grisha and (2) the comparison to real world racism. I believe the argument can be made, but not sustained. Because the world building is not strong enough to support it. I said this AGAIN specifically because I said that the Darkling's actions tend to be dismissed in regards to other Grisha. And it was why I made allusions to characters like Magneto and Kilmonger. I don't give a shit was anti darkling arguments are - I didn't make those claims.
There are problems with the Darkling situation - yes. That was my point. With both the character and writing. But my problem with fantasy racism is that the real world implications only become relevant when discussing a character and then everything (1) in opposition to the character and (2) outside the *acceptable* real world implications is just..ignored. I made a whole post talking about the way oppressed revolutionary men oftentimes parrot or assume oppressive ideologies toward those beneath them (i.e. women of color and minors) and allllllll of that was ignored for the sake of an argument I DID NOT MAKE about the Darkling.
That is the tragedy of his character - and it is in some parts well written and other parts not. That is the point.
#grishaverse#the grisha trilogy#aleksander morozova#the darkling#alina starkov#and i also have words for how alina fits into this bc that is also a nagging point#for all she can be a bit annoying#fantasy#shadow and bone#james baldwin#kilmonger#leigh bardugo
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I would prefer it if you waited and dropped both Glass and Rose at the same time. For one I still need to get my Glass analysis done and I know Rose is going to take away the brain rot for that, but I really want to finish it. For 2 I’m still kinda dying this week and could do without the distractions (though I should be through the worst of it by Friday, so Rose would be a nice reward).
For 3, I like it when we close one story and move on to the next. The rose hype has been created, people will read it whenever it comes out. (And people should learn to have some damn patience.) I like your system for starting new fics. So I don’t think you should change it because you feel like you aren’t writing fast enough. And it’s not like there haven’t been droughts before. We got through September after all.
And 4, just do whatever you want. It’s your stories. You shouldn’t feel pressured to post them fast (you already write a ridiculous amount in such a short time span (yes this is me being jealous /j)), but I get the frustration of not meeting self imposed deadlines. If you want the satisfaction of putting something out, go for it! If you want to stick to your original plan and update at the same time, you do that.
-🌲
ngl I'm surprised that I've had people telling me to hold onto it and wait I thought everyone was gonna tell me to just post rose first lmao. also so sorry you're dying spruce but I'm wishing you the best of luck!!! you can get through it!!
I mean either way I would link rose when I post the finale chapter of glass, but yeah I do like the system of waiting to post so I can throw them both out at the same time. although I'm pretty sure I posted chapter 2 of stars before I posted the epilogue to world forgetting so I haven't always followed the system lmao
I know it's a little ridiculous for me to put so much pressure on myself to finish things faster. in total honesty I'm just frustrated with how long glass has taken to write. my fics usually take around 9 months to write, but by the time glass is done with it'll have taken 11 months. this is dumb for me to be upset with myself over though because I didn't take a nearly month long trip to europe while writing my other ones, and I've also just taken a lot of trips in general this year and have also had a LOT of shit going on in my real life that's kept me busy. so it's understandable I know but my brain just likes to be mean to me sometimes about this stuff
since hearing your feedback I'll probably wait, but we'll see how I feel once I finish the rose chapter. also while I know what's going to happen in the glass epilogue I haven't actually, uh, written out an outline for that. so I should do that.
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kind of heavy rant so under read more lol
i just feel like all i'm doing these days is disappointing people. like all i post is smut and mediocre fluff that doesn't even crack 2k words and it just feels like i'm prioritising quantity over quality because i'm desperate for some feedback because i've become so insecure in my own writing that i can no longer be self-sufficient in my security as a writer. i feel like i have become addicted to the external validation i was getting and it felt so good to be getting as much as i was but now that it's waning i feel like i'm crashing and that's no ones fault, i get it, people leave the fandom, people lose interest, maybe my writing isn't for everyone as it changes, and i'm not owed anything but i just can't stop overthinking things
like did i do something? am i posting too much? am i posting too little? am i annoying? is my writing bad? have people just lost interest because there's people who are better than me now? like i wonder if people only liked me because i was the only option and i feel it slipping away
i feel like such an unlikable person that the only thing that keeps people around is the things i can provide them and so i don't want to disappoint them but i feel like i've hit my peak. i've written the best things i can write and now everything else i write is just another number that people feel obligated to read because they feel bad for me. i feel like such a bother when i talk about my ideas or share my fics. like i genuinely have to convince myself that people actually care and they're not just pretending so they don't hurt my feelings
and it's easy to say that i just need to take a break but i can't. without my writing i am nothing. i love nalu so fucking much that it genuinely brings me to tears and it hurts my heart. i know i joke about being insane about nalu but like ngl it's kind of true. like it's the only thing that got me through my dads cancer and all the family deaths and my shitty job and my shitty classes and my shitty depression. so the obvious answer is to write for myself but the whole reason i feel so down and shit is because i feel like i'm losing the social aspect of my writing. like i need to share this love for nalu through my writing with someone or i might physically explode but i don't have anyone. i can post in the discord server but that just makes me feel bad and attention seeky, but i don't have anyone i feel comfortable with just sharing my writing without it feeling like i'm being a bother or pushing it on them
i just don't know what to do. i can't write, i can't not write. i feel like im losing myself, i feel taken for granted, i feel like i'm losing anyone who cared about me and my work
i think if i could go back in time and never start writing fics, i would
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you guys (nonexistent people) might have forgotten I write fanfic huh.
anyway, here's my latest foray into hurting your feelings with my writing. Arcane x Signalis au, where I put Caitlyn through The Horrors.
Word Count: 1,202
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Descriptions of Violence, Major Character Death
Pairing: Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)
Additional Tags: Hurt No Comfort, Blood and Injury, robot blood but same difference in this case, Dissociation, like hella dissociation, cait is going Through It alright, yeah so vi is dead, SORRY YALL, its not mentioned in detail but its there, Um., Body Horror, kind of, yeah this might be the darkest thing I've written to date, super cathartic to write but oof man, shits rough, Signalis AU, Replika Biology (SIGNALIS)
idk how to do this whole "posting your fics" thing but here's the summary. mind your damn spoons, this shit is rough, note the tags before you read.
Summary:
What she needs is a fucking break. And a few repairs. Having her right arm back would be nice. And her left breastplate. And her ribs. And her eye. Of course, Caitlyn could just lay down and die. It would probably be easier. But she can’t. She’s gotten this far already. She made a promise. And she can’t stop now.
Or
A signalis au. I put Caitlyn through Even Worse Horrors. Warning for gore, injury, heavy dissociation, etc. If you played signalis you know what we got going on here.
have fun i guess??? I'm actually pretty proud of this one ngl
#arcane#arcane fanfic#fanfic#my fanfic#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#not tagging this signalis because I'll be honest it's mostly arcane#don't wanna mess with the tag yk#anyway#still signalis au though#my writing#enjoy???
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Teehee,,, here she comes,,, to ask,,, questionnnnnsss, (no pressure of course bestie) 1, 5, 12, 13, 16, 25, 29, 33 and 34 !!! But no pressure to anything!!! no pressure to answer either <3 I’m on laptop so this is a v boring ask i apologise it won't let em format this at all :(
There she is!!!! To ask questions!!! (Bless you for fighting the laptop to send me these, ilysm 💕)
1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)
I simply can't. It's impossible. I never look directly at my writing so I don't know her well enough 😂
Okay, fine, fine, she's mid, that's what I'll say?? So ⭐⭐ ?? Not doing anything spectacular but gets the job done more than not?
5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?
Maybe my All Out!!! requested ones because I actually finished and posted them, which was a miracle 😌✌️
12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.
Honestly I'm really excited about a silly modern university One Piece au I'm sort of doing on the side sometimes when I need a breather from other fics. Even though I've barely written anything officially for it, it's a cumulation of all my sister's and my 2am ramblings and silly little biased ideas and I just really wanna bring them to life so she can read them. 😂
13. First fandom you ever wrote for?
Ooo, if my memory serves right it was One Piece or Supernatural. I didn't ever finish or publish any of them but yeah- gateway drugs.
16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?
Let me think, what's at the top of my head right now...
Argh, I guess I like when arseholes catch feelings for each other but still stay arseholes about it adsfggh 😅
Ohhhh and where one of them gets injured or beat up or whatever and the other dickhead is like "tell me who did this to you" while cradling their face or something hnggg 😳👉👈
Or when they've been complete dicks to each other but one of them turns up on the doorstep of the other cause they had nowhere else to go and then they have to deal with each other and they fall in luvvvv 😏
I also really am a bitch for the bastard is in love with and pining for other character (in fiction!!! In fiction!!!!). ugh if done right and pulled off well (in fiction!!!! In fiction!!!), I am unfortunately on the edge of my seat 🫣
Love me a bitch that gets jealous and starts acting out too (in fiction!!!!!) because as a bitch that do get jealous (not to that level, I am not pulling that crap, I promise) it speaks to me a little ngl 🫢
Ooooo and the fuck the whole world, I choose you thing. Like if they damn the whole world for their person/people then I'm there. I'm right there. It's gotta be done right thooooo but to be fair, it's pretty hard to mess up 😌
Okay gonna stop outing myself on main because I could go on adafgdhjy and just end with, not really a guilty pleasure, just a pleasure, but if there's a forehead press I am on the floor every time. The chef's are kissing with tongue!! Nothing like a forehead press!!! 😍
25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!
Okay so the big One Piece one I'm working on atm, I keep having an urge to make a sequel after it that let's me kinda do a fix it au and teams the characters up again for a joint revenge plot. I can see it in my mind but making it work is going to be a lot. Still love to daydream about it tho 😂
29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?
Hmm. Well atm I'm writing a lot of seggs and I'm not that (pun intended) jazed about writing it because it's not really my thing or in my wheelhouse, so that might count?
Don't know how it turned out cause it ain't finished yet but pray for me. It's a slog but the uglies must be bumped, I guess (instantly regrets saying that) 🙃
33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?
I'd need an audience first, pfftt 🤭
Nah, um, that it takes literal years and none of that shit is written in order. It's all an illusion, babbeyyy!!
34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.
Crikey okay everything I'm writing at the moment is pissing me off so here's something I wrote in like 2016 and haven't touched since but that I think about often (even if I would change most of it today) because of a compliment I got on it. 😙
(It was for a Zoro pov zolu ficlet after the timeskip meet up when all the crew gets back together again in One Piece because that arc always leaves me with some damn big feelings and they have to go somewhere 👁️👄👁️)
"I'M GONNA BE KING OF THE PIRATES!"
And he will be.
And Zoro will be there when he does, because oh, he's not leaving this thundering feeling for anything in the world ever again.
He shuts his one good eye, and smiles.
The heavens will hear Luffy's name long before they ever hear his own.
#asked and answered#mooties ♡#🥜#oh my words#from the dark pit#i am squishing you big time in a big hug bangbang
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Heyyyyy, how are you doing? I hope you are doing well and life gets better and better with each day for you. just saw your post with your H/Cs about the girls. I was wondering if you have some of the boys too?? Maybe something you haven't mentioned before, and/or would be unexpected to some fans.
Btw, you are probably my favourite writer in the fandom. I usually don't re-read fics but Until Do Us Apart has my heart, ksjdhhdgghj. You can't imagine how much I cried when I first read it 😭 When I find it, I will definitely read it again (when I have free time).
Bro ngl, forgot i wrote that (AGAIN), re-read it, and after i got past all the typos i missed and fell into the story, i was like WHAT!? I couldn't have written that! Like who?? Me?? That was too sad. too heartbreaking. I hate it. I want five more stories just like it. thnxs!!
here's the link so everyone can be sad too :) just ignore all the fucking typos
lmao anywayyy! Three h/cs for our fave boys. I've forgotten what i have and have not mentioned, so if these are just repeats, sorry in advance. Like with the girls, my headcanons don't vary often! Once I've characterized them, they're pretty much characterized lolol
Brick:
On paper, he's not a good leader. He's condescending, bossy, lazy, and the biggest asshole, but where Blossom needs a plan for everything, Brick is quick on his feet and doesn't mind Boomer and Butch straying from the plan. He doesn't direct every action, and because he's better at taking shit in stride, his brothers are also better at acting independently. By contrast, Bubbles and Buttercup are well-trained and don't act until directed, which drives Brick up a wall. He's definitely an "I told you what needs to be done, so figure it out already" macro-manager.
Boy band/girly pop junkie, but he'll go to the grave before anyone finds out, except everyone knows. He's bad at hiding it. He claims all the k-pop shirts he owns were bought as a joke, but his spotify is linked to Butch and Boomer's, and they know how big of a swiftie he is. (or like in-universe equivalent lol)
He's depression barbie all the way, which isn't a new h/c I just want to reiterate that mentally he's not doing well and is a gremlin about it. His brothers routinely remind him that he does, in fact, have to drink water.
Butch:
If not for him, his brothers would have killed each other by now. He's not any more responsible than the other two, but he is a grounding figure. He has, overall, earth-sign-middle-sibling energy. He's the one who remembers to take out the trash, not because he wants to take out the trash, but because the trash just needs to be taken out, and he's standing there anyway. This headcanon is actually hard for me to convey with words. Basically, he's the one keeping the trio together. Good second-in-command guy.
Sure, Brick broods and Boomer whines, but Butch is the brother staying up at night yearning for something a little bit more than the life they've got. I think he'd be the brother most easily persuaded to "go good," not Boomer like I've seen. He likes his reputation as the big tough monster of the trio, but a small part of him knows it's all just a front and that he'd like to be respected as a person. With that in mind, it's easy to see how he could be angry angry angry. He's stuck, he wants more, he's doing what he's made to do, he loves his brothers, he wants to leave them, he feels directionless, lost - - - might as well workout to distract himself, maybe start a fight.
planes, trains, and automobiles bbbyyyyyyyyy. Autism be damned, my boy can work an engine (both real and of the model variety)
Boomer:
i feel like i've already said everything I've got on this kid haha, but I don't think I've mentioned that, like Bubbles, he's good with small creatures, but where she focuses on the cute ones, he's obsessed with rabid raccoons and fucked up looking opossums. He has an opossum hidden in his bedroom named Trashcan. Also very interested in Bugs(tm).
Went through an "emo" phase, except he was a total poser about it, which caused considerable tension between him and Brick (goth boy extraordinaire), and wore bad eyeliner. Then, immediately after, went through a surfer boy phase, then a cowboy phase, and then a, well . . . basically, Boomer's always trying to find himself because he doesn't think Himself is good enough (he hasn't had his Kenough moment yet), and is desperately seeking other peoples approval.
Boomer may not know who he is quite yet, but to his brothers, he is crinkly-eyed smiles, breezy laughs, warm hugs, and cold hands with an innate ability to make them feel like they're people worth loving. He may not like it, but he's the baby brother through and through.
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This post isn't about She-Ra and the princesses of Power
Ngl, without seeing it, it seems like half of everyone's takes on She-Ra stems from ppl being lead to believe thru the fandom that Catdora was #relationshipgoals when really it was always supposed to be a romance that grew out of toxicity. And then you all didn't like that outcome/how it written/how it was STILL being touted as relationship goals by the fandom despite the intention of the writing.
Just a guess. I have bad news for everybody though: you really do need to coexist with people who feel kinned to characters you hate or you're never gonna get through the day. And no, not kinned in a SnapeWives sorta way and no not kinned to shit like Humbert Humbert god nojesusCHRIST. I mean characters ppl enjoy and relate to and maybe even want better writing for because they just like angsty, problematic characters and see themselves in. blorbos. I've heard read up on this Catra betch and it seems like a similar problem to be had with the Crystal Gems or even the Diamonds; being a fan of them isn't a problem unless you just straight up stan them like they're real people and they actually never did anything wrong. I'm gonna wager a lot of fans/ex fans/whoever did NOT have any chill about this and that really exaserbated ur already dislike of her and the Catdora pairing, at least a little.
Why someone attaches themselves to certain characters could be an indicator of character, or, more often then not, it just means they like an aspect of said character but have a bad means of handling their emotions over their blorbos.
I for one know, as a fan of my own blorbos and a 'hater' of other people's, that even nuanced-read fan readings can be annoying and ur just not in the mood w it comes to a character you REALLY dislike. It's not a "wrong" take it's just....god do I not wanna hear you spout your love for something that just makes me feel pissy.
Still- you gotta not read every person who likes a bad/badly written character as an immediate threat to you, anymore than the otherside shouldn't see someone who dislikes their blorbo as being "against" them. That's what leads to these nasty fanwars and pro vs anti fandom bs in the first place.
I have a mutual who loves Mysterious Woman from Centaurworld but hates Elktaur/NWK for personal+aesthetic+petty reasons. We get along even if we don't see eye to eye there because, you know, it's FANDOM not an actual indicator of our morals. They know I don't approve of real-life relationships anything like Mysterious Woman and NWKs and I still have merch she made of both characters on my bag at all times.
No one ever said you have to be buddy-buddys with everyone, but as long as it's not serious political disagreements or a matter of shit's that illegal or hate speech, you have to coexist. This is a fandom. You share a fandom. You can have ur anti-tag nooks where you complain about glubshito and you can have ur pro-glubshito tags. Just seriously learn to stop flinging mud and serious accusations/asertations on people's personal lives you don't know.
Suffering just makes you hurt. It doesn't make you smarter or better than anyone else.
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🐑🐑🐑 (3) (for the fic ask thingy in case this confuses u lmao)
3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?
This is... a long one. TL;DR: It took me a while but I finally, actually internalized that I don't need to set goalposts for myself and consistently move them.
Story's gonna get vulnerable and involve a few other people too. Many of y'all probably saw me go through a whole character arc but I've never really talked about how I felt about this (aside from a couple close friends).
Around July/August, I noticed my readership going down because I had just finished a big writing project and I was moving on to other stuff/trying to figure out what my next big thing was gonna be. I have always always written for myself but ngl, getting lots of consistent engagement and then suddenly not as much anymore made me wonder if I was doing something wrong, if the quality of my works were going down. I vented to a group of friends (including you lmao sorry Juliet) about it and they were like "chill it's the beginning of the semester and people are getting rly busy it's ok" and I was like "yeah makes sense" but nope, I had just plateaued and was dropping off a little for a couple months.
Around the same time, I posted about reaching some sort of milestone and got an anon (maybe well intentioned but it seemed kinda backhanded) that basically said "oh if you ACTUALLY have that many reads that makes you the most popular writer in the cotl fandom. I'm gonna place u above everyone else due to this metric I just kinda invented." And once I noticed my readership had stopped growing and just kinda leveled off/dropped a little bit it made me anxious. Sadly, "keeping others interested" with my writing wasn't really a concern of mine until this started bothering me
I did know that recognition was not the same thing as talent but silly perfectionist brain thought "oough you're the exception btw. you're just not interesting anymore and therefore you're probably not as good anymore lol"
Anyway. October rolls around. I start getting some asks comparing my writing to bamsara's, starting with them mentioning little details that sound very similar but realistically are coincidences because sometimes multiple writers see a theme/motif and we all start chewing it. Anyway, it's obvious that anon is just trying to start shit. Maybe they saw how I'd been kinda beating myself up abt my writing for a little while and tried to make me jealous of them. I don't know. It's probably not worth trying to understand tbh. I just delete the asks. I keep anons on just in case there's a genuine concern.
at this point I'm gonna interrupt to say EVERYTHING TURNS OUT OK I PROMISE and I'm not tagging you in case it's a sore spot but Sara if you're reading this I'm literally so sorry that me learning the lesson I got out of this involved you getting these nasty messages too.
Bam posts something kinda vague about how they get compared to some writers they've never read before. I hope this is a coincidence but alarm bells are going off and I keep this to myself.
Anon keeps doing this every once in a while for a few weeks; at first it looks like anon is accusing bamsara of copying me (???? like i said, we're just exploiting similar themes) and then it starts turning into basically "they're doing everything you're doing but better." Bam obviously hadn't done anything wrong, so I keep supporting them as I do the other writers in the fandom. Eventually the anon gets kinda pissy that I'm not envious or trying to tear someone else down or whatever. I've kept this mostly to myself and they don't like that.
So when they send an ask in mid-November and this had been going on for a few weeks I finally answer an ask to tell them to shut the hell up (gracefully) and then I forget about it and go to sleep. Wake up the next morning and uhhh. See Bam feels like shit because they got a really scathing message. Comments say it happened during a stream and I check it to see if it's the same anon and it is. Fuck on a stick. I literally burn myself out with anger over the next two days until I donate to their kofi as a peace agreement. They reach out and apologize for something they didn't do and it takes me until now to realize that literally nothing I have worried about over the past few months matters at all.
Anyway. It all turns out fine because we become mutuals and hype each other up. Kicker is, whoever it was forgot to turn off anon in Bam's askbox so we got to block them and I'm pretty sure they deactivated too lmao. I reached out to a bunch of writer friends and checked in with them to violently spread positivity and I've been trying to violently spread positivity as much ever since. Yay. Happy ending but sucks that this had to happen for me to crush my anxiety. Bam and I are buddies now and I've also befriended many more writers since, too. cotl writers we are unionizing.
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1 Million Hits
I'm gonna hit a million hits on my ao3 account next week, which is genuinely just crazy and I've been debating what to do for the occasion for like a month now bc I don't want to be self-absorbed but also it's literally a million(!!!) so I feel like I should celebrate anyways. I haven't come up with anything yet, but just know that I'm literally flabbergasted with all the attention... Like, I garnered 500k+ hits in the last year and it's such a huge compliment lmao
I get sappy rlly easily as u might have noticed, but I'm just astounded really. Especially because I didn't even start learning English until fifth grade. (Which was a terribly long time ago, to be fair)
When I return to some of the oldest fics I've written, I tend to cringe and I've been debating either taking them down or editing them, but I don't know if I ever actually will.
The point is, I love fan fiction, I love the community I've found on here over the years and most of all, I love writing.
(Who knows, one day, I might actually publish a book instead of these silly little stories. That day isn't today, but a girl can dream)
-- this is the point to stop if u don't want to read about my history in fandom spaces, which is apparently what this post is turning into--
I started reading fanfics bc of the German equivalent to buzzfeed were u could do quizzes and get tiny xreader fics as a result. I quickly changed over to German fan fiction.de which was my first real love lmao
The stories also got weirdly popular for the fact that I couldn't do punctuation for shit and I didn't reread my stories bc I was too embarrassed.
What luck that I started learning English pretty quickly and I changed to wattpad, until the fateful day in 2018 when I found my way to ao3 (honestly the best accident that has ever happened in my life)
It took me over a year to even make an account but it definitely changed my life for the better. I've met so many amazing people through challenges and general communities on here and especially during covid I don't know what I would've done without ao3.
I think this is just my love letter to fanfiction at this point. Like genuinely, I love everything about fandom spaces and the culture around it and I love that I can write and get feedback and read (for free, which was actually why I changed from physical books to fanfiction in the first place)
It means that for fandom, I'm actually pretty old, and everyday more people join, which is of course amazing, especially because more people are willing to actually talk about it irl (I'm ngl the first few years being publicly in fandoms was a bit rough lol) I mean, I was active in fandom spaces since what, 2014?? A while.
I've grown up with fandoms and now I'm gonna hit a million in the next week, probably on my flight to London and it all just feels surreal in the best way possible.
So thank you, I guess.
Thank you for fan fiction authors and ao3 and all the spaces where people can just enjoy being people.
this got way longer than intended but I just needed to get this off my chest
#ao3#I dunno how this turned into such a sap piece#Like that wasn't my intention when I started at all#but yeah#thank you#and if anyone has an idea for a celebration I could do#let me know
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Diary 5/17
I didn't realize it had been so long since I had written an entry until I just redownload the app and looked at my post history XD
I guess I'll write a general update then write a few things about today.
In relation to my last post and why I haven't written in so long, life went downhill since then but uphill since recently I guess? I got really depressed, mostly because of how stressful my job is and how many panic attacks I've had because of it and how customers and management treat me.
I almost quite SO MANY TIMES. But never did for one reason or another. I went through with my plans to go see my best friend, it helped me a lot in getting out of my funk from just working day in and day out. I finished her custome backpack and gave it to her when I went to see her, finishing it while at her dad's house lol.
I took a ungodly amount of photos, we went to get grandpa's the morning after I arrived, went to hot pot with her family because her uncle and his family were there at the same time, complete coincidence in timing but known about beforehand. I got a keychain from the boba place we went to, it had a claw machine and all the other customers slowly noticed me and all started reacting to me and cheered when I won on my last turn XD we went and bowled, I got overstimulated after such a long day and eventually had Amber play for me because I just needed to sit :p We went to a play at a collage, it was nice.
We stayed at her grandpa's over night and the next day went to San Francisco, I found a few bobbles like a monarch butterfly pin for my hat which matched the short I was wearing and a cute second hand cottage core shirt, it's my new favorite shirt hehe, we stayed at her grandpa's house again overnight and went back to her days the next day.
We went on a lot of hikes after we got back to her dad's on day 4, I'm just gonna put in a bunch of my favorite photos, a hike is a hike and I don't remember details about stuff like that. Other than that the first hike we went on we got water logged and I wasn't happy. I'll make a part 2 because I'm at my photo limit lol
I bought some second hand DS games at a second hand game shop, I know there's more but I've got a small working memory and I'm getting bored of talking about the vacation I took 2 months ago lol
I got stuck on the plane an extra hour because of a inside storage unit not closing 😑 then my Lyft home got us lost by missing our exit and ngl I wasn't sure he didn't plan to steal me or something.
Updates outside of my vacation:
I got my electric bike, I'm making payments I stead of paying all at once because my twin borrowed all my savings from me 😑 he's being really slow at paying me back but also he's having a hard time in Ohio or Iowa, idk lol. His friend was murdered and his new roommate bailed. I know he'll pay me back eventually but I miss having actual savings 😑
I still wanna quit my job sometimes but I'm also used to it and really close to my 1 year bonus so I'mma wait for now. I finally went to the dentist again after trying and failing for so long, I should be getting my broken tooth removed soon.
I started paying for a Minecraft realm for me, my best friends and a few other people like her brother and his friend. It has the Medevil Minecraft mob pack on it.
I decided to keep trying to start my crochet club at the library, found out I can't, found out there's a stitchers group at the library already and on my day off so I went today. It did end up being a crochet and knitting group, as expected all the women are. 60-90 other than one who's around 40 lol but they were nice ladies and one of them wants me to help her learn to make a frog toy she bought a kit for. The kit installations were shit and poorly written so I'm gonna leach her how next week ✌🏼
Well that's enough for now, Aurora out ✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼
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i swear i don't mean this rudely but i saw your post in the byler tag and i think you're right. the one reason why your fics don't get engagement is because they're short. that's why people are so excited about everyone else's WIP wednesdays, since these fics usually contain so much content and there are so many things to ask about and so many aspects of the story to discuss. short fics don't have that and a lot of people just aren't interested in them.
it's not your fault ofc and it must suck as a writer but it is how it is. you don't need to change yourself to appeal to everyone else but you should stop taking it so personally when these short fics don't do as well. it's not a you problem, it's just what fandom wants.
I don't think you're being rude at all <3 I will not stop taking it personally 🙂 because that's unfortunately who I am; but I will stop complaining in the main tag (2023 resolution?) My followers can put up with my shit though; my blog is for posting whatever the hell I want [affectionate].
My complaint about not getting questions and stuff is actually regarding the longer stuff I've written, where there is content to discuss, or that I'd like to discuss. In my other fandoms when I've written long fics I've always had at least one comment making predictions or theorising where things would go, or even just a "I'm excited to see where this goes" so yeah it's hard adjusting to a fandom who doesn't seem to do that (to me at least)
As for my WIP Wednesday, how do people know that that's gonna be a short fic? I'm already at like 1k and have no clue when it's ending. So that justification doesn't make sense. Plenty of other people post theirs in the Same Exact Way (no indication of how long the fic is) and get so much more engagement...
And also, I've seen people getting so much more excited over things around my length and shorter, which is moreso what my frustration was about. I was just starting to grow content with the fact that I will never receive as much love and attention as Those Writers [affectionate] because that's just not what I write.
And then I saw two different people make fan art based off a work around the same length as several of mine and– it hurt ngl. That's why I'm taking a step back from tumblr. Because that author has every write to be celebrated, and those creates have every write to celebrate things that inspired them/brought them joy; I'm just not in the headspace to be seeing that on my dash. Hence, removing myself until I am.
xx Lilly
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Ok I was tagged in like a self rec fic game by @lady-of-the-lotus (thank you so much btw)
Rules: list the five favorite fics you’ve written, then pass it on to five other writers.
And like low-key idk cause like I don't actually hate my fanfics but I can't really pick which ones are my favorite
It'd be easier to pick what I think the people to read my stories liked more but eh
1.
Cause I mean it's like one of the first stories I've written and while I do feel like I'd write it differently today I am satisfied with it. I mean it's all cute and wholesome and demonic bros is my shit and I wanna write them again ngl. Also it got so much more attention than my other fics but I did kinda write for like three fandoms at once so it's like no shit
2.
Ok so like I could've done better but also it was supposed to be a oneshot based off some cool fanart I found anyway?? I'm not sure how I ended up wanting to make a series with but I'm gonna say it's cause I thought I could expand it into something more. I am kinda proud of it I mean I wrote it in like a day! Sometimes shit I don't even post takes me two weeks you know!
3.
I'm gonna be honest I completely forgot why I wanted to write this fanfic but I think I did well enough with it. It reminds me that I need to write more xuexiao fluff one day for sure. But also I regret not adding some kind of kiss like I damn near baited readers lmao
4.
See I know I could've done so much more with this if I took more time to flesh out some shit properly but I'm ok-ish with how it is. It feels awkward cause idk how much I got right like my memory from the novel mixed in with the drama and the donghua and then I just became really unsure of my writing with most of it. But I got it done and it's something worth reading I think! I do feel like if I was just a reader I'd probably come back to read it again cause I'm desperate for wen zhuliu content sometimes y'know
5.
So like...I low-key winged this fic off the top of my head. I didn't know how far I was gonna go with it but I just kinda decided like the readers could fill in the gap between this and "Alive in a city of death" and then anything else I add on to it will just be progressing whatever I'm going for with them (this is why I wanted to try writing song lan in case I somehow wanted to insert him)
But I'm cool with how it turned out overall
I think if I were ever to recommend any of my fics to random people these would be some of the ones I'd show off because people seemed to respond to most of them a lot and I'm kinda proud of that 😤
I don't really know a lot of people who write or hasn't been tagged in except @kuyosuke
@gusu-emilu (if you haven't done this)
@hishoukoku (I'm kinda guessing but I think you write?)
@cynzaline (I will not elaborate)
@silvysartfulness (I hope you don't mind me tagging you)
#tag games#mdzs#since the majority of the fics i put are tagged with mdzs#also it's kinda shameless self promotion and i think i deserve it without having to reblog everything
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SNOWPIERCER S3 EPISODE 4: GOD SAVE THIS FUCKING TRAIN
Mel haunting Alex is tearing me apart but also it would lowkey be real cool if she was actually hunting her train, her engine. Y'know, poetic. And since we've started with the supernatural shit anyway (don't think I've forgotten about Layton's visions), why not? May as well go big or go home.
MAMA GRANDE?? 😭😭😭
The last Aussies too... I'm in so much pain, why does this season keep killing characters off screen. I get it was the flu and everything but still.
Ngl for a moment I thought the cars blocking the track would be the ones Layton got rid of during S1. That would have been cool too.
Pike is PISSED and also not taking Layton's bullshit and you know what? Good for him.
Also Pike I love you but how did Ruth fall in love with you when you literally walk around in your PJ's. Gremlin man.
Oh Roche ..please get yourself together, your daughter needs you!
(although I did very much enjoy it when he stabbed Wilford in the heart. Bastard absolutely deserved it).
RUTH AND PIKE DATE TIME. PIKE MAKING HER LAUGH. I'M CRYING.
Ruth with her hair down like that is gorgeous pls queen do that more often and also marry me.
Also idk why but she reminded me of Zelda from Breath of the Wild in that episode. Does that make Pike Link?
Me whispering "now kith" in That scene and my mum shushihg me. We're both SO invested in this ship.
Pike telling Ruth she should lead 😭 what a simp, I love him.
Also uh, I know we were all joking last week that they were going to fuck but um. Okay. So that happened. Good for them, good for them.
RUTH WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY DID YOU LEAVE HIM I KNOW YOU'RE A WORKAHOLIC BUT LIKE. DON'T BE DAFT HE LOVES YOU.
"teal is not your colour" Pike how DARE you. I will have to hit a hard pass on that. (....but I do see the symbolism that she shouldn't just be on hospitality and should take a step up and actually lead. Clever one).
Oh Alex...OH ALEX.... The little flashbacks with her friend ruined me, they both deserved so much better.
Speaking of, I LITERALLY OWN THAT SAME BUNNY PLUSHIE. I'm not shitting you I have this very bunny and I'm gonna post a picture asap because holy shit, of all the things to relate to it had to be the plushie???
I love how the show decided to explore Alex's dynamic with Wilford, how she still loves him even though he's an abusive piece of shit. As someone with an abusive father, who cannot bear to think of anything happening to him even though I hate him, this scene really hit home and I found it exceptionally written.
This is the first time I'm actually 100% on Zarah's side and Layton can suck my fucking dick, also poor Madame Headwood, grabbing her dead husband's shoes for comfort the moment Layton lunged at her 😭
I want a redemption arc for Jupiter and I'm not even joking at this point.
On that note I want to hug Javi and protect him forever it's what he deserves.
Till really being everyone's babysitter and therapist in that episode huh.
Till and Asha are actually a great ship, I'm rooting.
Also good idea yall, let the severely traumatised, panic attack-prone person get drunk and roam around in a rave party! No way this will backfire on all of you.
LJ straightening her hair.....mwah.
But also that means she's the girl trying to stab Os from the trailer... here's to hoping it's just knifeplay.
I think that's all but at this point you guys know me, you know I'm gonna follow up with like 50 Ruth/RuthPike posts so. Ahem. Love you all. And I'm sorry for what I will become for the next 24 hrs before I sink back into attack on titan hell and start screaming about my beautiful wife Hange Zoe.
#snowpiercer s3#snowpiercer season 3#snowpiercer spoilers#snowpiercer#andre layton#melanie cavill#joseph wilford#ruth wardell#bess till
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