#i miss this community and feel so good when I'm an active participant in it
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had one of them "quarterly work meetings" just now and what i have learned is that i am severely lacking in the genre of social script that dictates how to behave when first joining a group of people you will be working with regularly from that point on
#i think mostly my coworkers are all people who are fairly neurotypical and so they like. Know how to do this stuff i guess#n so i'm kinda just standing there. like a vampire. needing to be invited in for lack of practice w/these scripts#n like i briefly mentioned this in the tags of a post on my other blog yesterday but like i notice smth similar in my chem lab#it's like i'm missing the first scene of a script to a play but have the rest of it memorized blocked n ready to go#as Soon as i know that my entrance isn't like a disruption of the expected flow i'm fine!!! i can do that shit!!!!#and more recently i've been learning n mastering the opening scenes to the play of 'making online friends'#which is different from real life bc online friendship is asynchronous. realizing now that's why online/irl friendships differ sometimes#n this is also why i tend to be more actively inviting at the start of smth new like a class or semester#bc those are the periods when the ~flow~ is setting itself n if i can manage to integrate into *that* i'm good i can do this#but i don't know how to *slip in* to an existing current as an active participant. i just know how to observe n absorb#bc it's ~personal sharing time~ (lol) but like obviously being Neurodivergent(tm) i misread a lot of cues growing up#n so now the goal feels like 'transition seamlessly into thing so that you're not a despised disruption'#which is why i've become so grateful to the kinds of people who make active efforts to include new people#like. thank you communications majors. i love you communications majors. i owe you my life communications majors.#bc it's so!! 'i promise i'm not snubbing you it's just that my direct instructions were to work Here so even though you are three feet away#'literally on the other side of this wall i'm not gonna come out n initiate conversation w/you bc those are Implicit Instructions'#'/Individual Expectations that i'm too afraid of reading incorrectly but if you come talk to me i will be normal abt it i promise'#the worm speaks#like pretty frequently these days i find myself thinking abt that one post that's like#'yeah back in the olden days being a good host was a learned skill n it involved these sorts of specific things'#'like matching up n introducing guests to each other by saying 'this is x this is y you both like turtles :)'#like i feel like that's the Spirit of icebreakers these days but even if you have interests in common w/someone across the circle#it can be kind of awkward to cross the room afterwards to talk to them so you just end up talking w/whoever's nearest or no one at all
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REST
🧊–return to masterlist ¡! ✥
"Good day, this is JYP ENTERTAINMENT. 26.12.2021 Lily Hwang of Stray Kids is taking a rest due to worsening panic attacks and anxiety disorder, which is why her activities are suspended for a while. All of Stray kids' next events, comebacks and promotions will be released without her participation until she is fully recovered! We ask fans for understanding and all possible support, she asked you not to worry about her.JYPE will consider the artist's health a top priority and will do everything possible to support Lily's speedy recovery."
Then this statement from the Company shocked everyone and everyone was very upset by this development of events. Hundreds of thousands of letters of support were written to Lily in the bubble, they never forgot about her and encouraged her. MANIAC's comeback came out without her participation, but the students were so upset because Lily was in the teaser and in the video, but she was not in the promo or other songs.Lily appeared for the first time since her return to the bubble in May (01.05.2022), writing two messages:
[🐻]::Y/n!! hi, I feel much better. did you hear that the boys will have a world tour?:) Please visit it! I promise you'll like it (06:19 a.m)
[🐻]::I miss you and the boys, pain makes us stronger (08:32 a.m)
○○○
On the first day of the STRAY KIDS world tour in Seoul, Lily came to the concert with Mingi and Tenshi (she was the only one who was very scared), sitting in the front rows and she was shown on the big screen at the end of the concert, the boys burst into tears and were very happy to see her because they didn't know about her arrival at the concert, Lily also cried, and then she was allowed to go up on stage and they all stood there together and cried,they hugged so much:((( I can say that it was a difficult concert without Lily and the first concert after the pandemic, the boys were very upset and happy to see Stay again, but so tearful because of Lily. (this moment went viral everywhere), (date 05.05.2022)
On July 31, 2022, the video and song TIME OUT were released, with the release of which Lily left the rest, and the students were in great shock and also cried when they saw Lily in the video and heard her voice, everyone was incredibly happy about it. Then Lily wrote in the bubble:
[🐻]::Next to Y/n I am stronger, I promise to work and work and make my baby Y/n happy (11:02 p.m)
[🐻]::War is over (reference to the song) (11:07 p.m)
[🐻]::Oh...do you want for me to stay with you? (11:10 p.m)
[🐻]::During these seven months my life has become better! all thanks to Y/n's support~ (11:12 p.m)
[🐻]:: I missed you too, baby! let's continue to work harder so that we move forward together (11:15 p.m)
[🐻]:: I traveled a lot and went to a psychotherapist, so I felt better... (11:18 p.m)
[🐻]:: My close friends and boys helped me a lot (11:27 p.m)
[🐻]:: I don’t regret that the MANIAC comeback was without me! so Y/n saw the boys' talents to the fullest (11:28 p.m)
[🐻]:: Should I live onair tomorrow??
[🐻]:: I'll carry it out! and we'll have fun! (11:30 p.m)
[🐻]:: And now I'm going to bed! soft dreams, baby 🩷 (11:35 p.m)
Lily suffered all these seven months, she was terribly ill. She did not leave the room, did not eat, and did not communicate with anyone. Even SKZ couldn’t get her out of this state, not to mention Lily’s friends. Then Donghyun arrived from New York and, together with Kiri and Tenshi, began working on Lily’s condition. They organized a tour for her to different countries: Italy, France, Canada, Greece, UAE, Japan, Great Britain, and she also visited the Maldives. Lily even thought about committing suicide if it weren’t for Seungmin, who saw the prerequisites in time and sent Lily along with Chan to a psychotherapist (Lily refused to go alone). She wanted to quit K-pop completely, but her close people stopped her. What about Lily's parents? They didn’t know about it, or rather, Lily’s mother knew and quietly sent her money for treatment, but her father simply didn’t care. he abandoned his daughter back in 2017.
I can say that everyone handled Lily's rest differently, but it was hard. I think Felix and Jongin were the most depressed,Changbin hid his fears within himself , Minho became more irritable and Jisung was anxious without Lily...what about Chan and Hyunjin? They saw Lily most at this time, perhaps she only let them in and sometimes Felix, she didn’t want to see others. Seungmin observed the situation from afar and he was the one who helped her the most, but is not visible.
#stray kids female oc#stray kids x reader#stray kids#stray kids 9th member#stray kids imagines#skz x reader#skz au#skz#skz 9th member#skz female member#skz female oc#bts female member#bts 8th member#kpop#kpop gg#kpop girls#fictional idol group#fictional characters
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not ted melancholy about leaving, sitting in the press room alone. not trent happening to find him there, "of all the press rooms." (it's funny because there's only one, but they're sad when they're laughing.) not them getting an actual one-on-one fucking conversation this season
Also, while ted's future's up in the air. I'm begging ted to also ask about trent's future. because trent's also on the precipice of leaving, with a big who knows the fuck what waiting for him (other than, like ted, his child). they've both found community at richmond, and they're both at a point where they might feel like they have to leave it all behind. just someone (ted) ask trent what he's doing after this book. and please let there be a good answer to that
all of this!! let them confide in and comfort each other. because they're both at this crossroads of What Is Next, sort of like that robert frost poem ted referenced in ep 7.
"Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."
and i 100% agree, they need to have a one-on-one conversation again onscreen. an actual heart-to-heart, because we haven't been privy to that since episode 2.
of course we see them onscreen having these types of private conversations such as here:
and yet we the viewer are never invited in on them.
which is bonkers to me because these two are constantly implied & shown to have grown close to each other throughout the season.
ted letting trent sit-in on the parent-teacher conference.
"hello, ted" "hello, trent" with nothing for roy or beard
ted and trent participating together at girl talk with rebecca.
trent introducing himself to ted's mom
ted actively engaging & being endeared with trent's enthusiastic dork side
ted instinctively filling trent's mug with liquor first, trent instinctively holding his mug to ted. familiar-like, routine-like
we can see trent's crush on ted from space. he's practically singing about it. but on the quieter side, there are all these little heart eye moments ted has for trent, too. they add up. all of ted's gay praises on men & men's physiques (robert redford, oscar wilde, hair, facial hair, clothes, etc) can be read as a subconscious link to trent. it's subtle. it's all blink-and-you-miss-it.
which makes me wonder — since Ted Lasso is in ted's character viewpoint for his scenes — is the reason we haven't seen any of the one-on-one conversations he has with trent (which DO happen offscreen) a reflection on ted? what i mean by that is, are we not fully seeing trent, and the nature of ted's relationship with trent, because ted himself isn't ready to share? to come out? or to even allow himself to recognize what he could potentially be feeling? out of sight (offscreen), out of mind?
we see this storytelling technique be used with colin. how we don't see him come out to the team because that is not what he wanted as a character. his main concern wasn't "i'm gay" it was "how will the team react?". and so to honor his wishes, the team's reaction is what was shown onscreen. the show gave colin's character agency and it gave him privacy, too.
so maybe, hopefully, we will get another one-on-one scene with ted and trent. and this time ted will be ready to share, and this time we get to see their dynamic at full scope instead of these glimpses throughout the season
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hii if its ok do you think you could write some headcanons for luke and a mute reader? :))
Hell yeah anon, it's absolutely more than okay! I adore your ask and I'm glad I managed to finish it in time to post today🫶🏻
May the Fourth be with you <33
🩵 patience and understanding
• as the loving and open-minded person he is, Luke will always do his best to be patient and understanding, no matter the way you choose to communicate
• during ANH and ESB he may find himself struggling with the first aspect (especially if he has a crush on you), though it's never your fault
• he's just so excited, so nervous, whenever he dares to approach you, it takes him a few moments until he's calm enough to focus on what you're saying
• this delay, and may it only be short, frustrates him more than he cares to admit and more often than not leaves him a little embarrassed
• what ultimately counts though is that you can truly take your time around him without ever feeling pressured in any way
• he doesn't mind waiting if it takes you a little longer to form your sentences
🩵 respect
• Luke absolutely respects your preferred way of communication
• whether it is through writing, sign language, texting or using any other form of assistive technology, he puts in a lot of effort to keep up with you and to make sure anything you may need is available
• he never wants for you to be limited by circumstances or feeling like you have to hold back just because he might not be able to fully grasp what you're trying to say otherwise
🩵 active listening
• he knows well what it's like to be ignored or not taken seriously so you can be a hundred percent sure that Luke will pay you his unwavering, full attention whenever you wish to share your thoughts, feelings, opinions, or just a stupid little joke
• his eyes will be glued to you as he makes the greatest effort to understand and to engage and will be so unhappy if he doesn't catch on to what you're trying to bring across fast enough
• when he does, however, ANH Luke sometimes forgets you're not deaf (or alternatively if you are, can read lips), and, in the heat of the moment responds enthusiastically by signaling his opinions back to you even though you'd very well be able to understand him talk
• (not that he's particularly good at it in the beginning; big nods and lots of thumbs up are his best friends)
🩵 support and education
• from his own experiences Luke knows how important the support and acceptance of friends and people close to you are
• thus he really wants for you to have an environment in which you can express yourself however you want to or can, without ever feeling afraid of judgement or ridicule
• accordingly he's always more than happy to educate others about barriers in communication and on how to respectfully interact with a mute person (and specifically you if it's something you're comfortable with)
• he's your biggest fan and always focuses on your unique qualities rather than your "limitations"
🩵 encouragement
• because Luke tries his best to create a supportive environment for you, he's also very big on encouraging you to participate in conversations and other social interactions
• not only because he really likes having you by his side whenever it's possible but also because he loves showing you off
• he's just so proud of you, adores you so much, and wants everyone to see as well
• after all how could he ever be responsible for making his friends miss the opportunity to get to know and cherish you as much as he does?
• should you happen to feel overwhelmed, anxious or any other kind of discomfort though, he's by your side in an instant, ready to advocate for you or to see to your needs if necessary
• (if it helps this is also something you can specifically ask him to do before going out and he'll make an effort to continously check in with you during the event)
🩵 boundaries and celebration
• despite this eagerness however, Luke of course respects your boundaries, never meaning to pressure you into communicating/socializing/putting yourself out there when you're clearly not in the right headspace, feel uncomfortable doing so or are simply not having the best day
• to him it's just important that you know how proud he is of you no matter what, that he recognizes and celebrates your strengths and abilities on a bad day just as much as on a good one
🩵 creativity
• Luke is curious and eager to explore by nature and you'd have a really fun time together finding new alternative ways in which to communicate with each other
• whether it is through visual aids or gestures, he's invested in learning more and may even have ideas to create a completely different communication method, just for the two of you
• he really likes the idea of specific small gestures, gazes or movements carrying a meaning for only him and you
• (it's not only very romantic but also super useful on literally every kind of mission)
• once he is confident in his abilities to use the Force for communication, he may introduce you to it too
• even better if you happen to be Force sensitive as well!
🩵 no conditions
• ultimately being loved by Luke (it doesn't matter whether it's platonic or romantic) means to be offered his unconditional loyalty and support
• he embraces you for who you are and stands by your side through thick and thin
#ask#luke skywalker#luke skywalker x reader#luke skywalker x you#luke star wars#star wars#star wars fanfiction#star wars a new hope#star wars empire strikes back#star wars return of the jedi#star wars headcanons#reader insert#star wars x reader#headcanons#luke headcanons#may the fourth be with you
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I feel a lot more excluded and isolated in fandom than I used to back when I first joined around 2015.
I know it was actually just luck that I happened to choose to follow a handful of people who made fandom feel this way, but there was this always such an inclusive vibe back then. Fic writers made it a point to kind of, invite their readers to stand on an equal footing with them. I remember the 'popular cool kids cliques' being writers and artists, but also including people who didn't make anything themselves. Very occasionally they'd make original posts but mostly their 'role' in fandom was just to talk to and support the people who made stuff, and they were still in all the inner circles.
Like there was an active effort to spread the message that you can be a part of the community, and your presence is important too, even just as an audience member - if you at least actively participate in the conversations sometimes. And I feel like it's fully turned back around now. Nobody wants mostly lurkers around anymore, public spaces are shrinking in favor of discord, and nobody is interested in trying to make friend with the rando who occasionally drops in to say a lot of nice things about your fics but who isn't good enough with people to try to get a conversation going.
Idk I just keep seeing fandom events or even polls where people will just hang out and chat and it's very clear that even if the event is fully unrelated to writing only writers are welcome and it makes me feel like shit. Making friends is never a walk in the park for me to begin with but now I feel like I have an extra obstacle to clear. I miss the feel I used to have of fandom being less cagey and ashamed and more welcoming.
TL;DR I wish I still had or could make some new fandom friends lol
--
2015, huh?
The bad news is that making friends was always potentially hard for the entire history of the world and will likely continue to be so aside from pockets of luck. The good news is that nothing has changed so radically since 2015 that you couldn't get lucky again.
I gotta tell you, as someone who gets approached a lot, has almost exclusively fandom friends, and loves people... Being expected to do all the work is a big, big turn off.
I'm always happy to see people who actively participate in conversations. That's not lurking.
I'm terrible with usernames or remembering people online as individuals if I haven't seen their actual face, but I do remember a lot of people who comment regularly here. There's someone I talk to all the time in private now whom I met through comments and who's one of my more treasured online friendships.
But if people truly are "mostly lurkers", I'm going to forget who they are. If someone is bad with people and therefore expects me to get every conversation going… well… that's pretty exhausting.
I think the biggest keys to friendship are finding people you're already naturally compatible with and then consistency. You have to find people who are a good fit, and you have to show up if you want them to know you care.
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(Also very much not to do with me digging through everyone's past fics for the last week /s)
I think the Benedict humans should have more unconventional/interesting communication methods!! Specifically, I was thinking of ASL, because I really love learning it, but then it occurred to me that it would be fun if each duo/trio/group in the family had their own preferred way to talk.
I imagine that all of the kids use morse code (They teach Martina and SQ), while the adults favour sign. Within that, of course Miss Perumal and Reynie speak Tamil, and I feel like Mr. Benedict and Sticky would use Greek or Latin with each other.
Milligan and Kate have some complex system that consists mostly of their farm-code terms and meaningful glances (Moocho can participate in most of it, but his meaningful glances aren't compatible with both of them at the same time, so it takes longer).
I think Sticky and Reynie would be the type of silly people to sit down and teach themselves, like, Quenya (A Tolkien elvish conlang) or something just for kicks. Kate tried to learn with them, but she wasn't having near as much fun so it's something just the two of them do. Mr. Benedict knows Sindarin (Other Tolkien elf conlang), but it doesn't help him much.
Constance and Mr. Benedict have perfected a form of communication that is exclusively reciting snippets of poetry to each other. It's actually kind of impressive. They make it a game, and when one of them uses a poet the other doesn't know, they break off to ask about it. This was initially supposed to be part of Constance's schooling and broaden her artistic horizons, but she's stubborn and kept coming back to it so as not to admit defeat (And it fully delights Mr. Benedict anyway, so he lets it continue until it's just another thing they do)
I'm going to (sort of) pull this from the books and say that the twins speak to each other in Dutch. Rhonda, Number Two, Milligan, and Sticky all know a little or have picked it up over the years just from being around Nicholas, but when he and Nathaniel are in a room together they go too fast for anyone else to follow properly.
For some reason, I feel like Rhonda and Number Two (Besides the obvious Sister Speak that they're beginning to let Constance into) would enjoy speaking German or French? I'm not super sure where that idea came from, but there you go.
(Their sister ability to communicate is a lot of sideways glances and exaggerated facial expressions, but it is occasionally supplemented with hand signals)
SQ leaves little written notes everywhere. Sometimes he puts them in spots that he knows only one person will get into (The cabinet with Number Two's mixing bowls, Mr. B's pen drawer, Sticky's encyclopedia shelf), but he also likes to sneak them into jacket pockets and things. His favourite is to try and slip them into Kate's bucket. He likes to use a special color code for each person when he can, so that way if someone gets into the mixing bowls and sees a little yellow slip of paper, they'll know who it is intended for.
Reynie's been asking Milligan to teach him some "spy codes", so they will often communicate short messages with an Alpha-Bravo-Charlie and number strategy, mostly assigning each member of the family a short "callsign" of sorts and then using it to check where someone is with each other.
Constance and Sticky, surprisingly, have worked out a fairly good system with their cheating morse code. They got a lot better at it, and now can do it so subtly and quickly that it's hard for anyone else to catch.
Martina and Kate make up absurdly long nicknames and terms for activities/locations and turn them into acronyms. They are fantastically over-complicated and no one has even tried to puzzle out what they're talking about.
#I want to add more but this is all I can think of right now#Do with this what y'all will I just hope it made you smile at least a little#the mysterious benedict society#mbs#sq pedalian#mr. benedict#nicholas benedict#milligan wetherall#milligan#kate wetherall#reynie muldoon#constance contraire#sticky washington#martina crowe#rhonda kazembe#number two#moocho brazos#(slightly. he's there. i just haven't come up with anything specific for him yet.)
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what do you think about the "it's because i'm an idiot. an ordinary idiot who gained power." line the anime added to eren and armin's conversation? it's funny to me how some people interpret it as isayama degrading eren's character to "being an idiot" as if it was the only reasoning eren had for his genocide. media literacy is at an all time low.
AoT is probably the story I have seen have the most bad faith readings.
Yes, I'm pretty active talking about it and participating in the community surrounding it, but even then it feels like it's one of the most commonly misread stories in manga and anime.
And it's all because Isayama (most likely) said some dumb stuff back in 2010/2014.
Every time I see that stuff now I have that tweet in the back of my head. People bend over backwards to make the story fit that tweet.
When in reality if Isayama said it and meant it, he probably didn't make a connection between it and the story he was telling.
If you've ever written anything *you know* how easy some connections are to miss and not to think about.
This story has clumsy enough thematic stuff for me to believe that he said some stupid shit 10 years ago without understanding the issues with it and the connection it has to his story.
Tweets generally ain't some super deep thought out stuff, just spotaneous thoughts, positive, negative, anything inbetween.
But going back to the main bit of the ask, I actually don't also see Eren's sole motivation being "an idiot with too much power" as an issue, lol.
Because that describes a lot of powerful people.
It's not – he also did it to save his friends, to free everyone from the Titan curse and because he was messed up in the head by an ancient parasite and its time travelling powers.
(With maybe just a touch, a sprinkle of a destructive impulses and strong opinions about freedom in there garnishing it all, maybe. He still stabbed a guy at 6 without any hesitation.)
Also the world not fitting the mold he wanted it to fit into, an aspect of himself he was terrified of or the massive amount of guilt he had about killing all of the people he saw he was about to kill.
Or the entire dichotomy of young Eren's idealism and old Eren's horror at what he is going to do. Chapter 131 is some great stuff.
(Eren is a mess of motivations that's fantastic in my opinion.)
People tend to focus on a single aspect of a character or story or any aspect of a piece of media if they dislike it or if they want to put it in a box fitting to them.
But Eren also absolutely is an idiot. The fact that he's loser trash, but also complex is the good part to me.
So jokes on them? An idiot with too much power is great, actually.
Thank you for the ask!
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𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓 𝘊𝘈𝘕 𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘈 𝘓𝘖𝘛 𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.
NAME : Kohitsuji
PRONOUNS :She/Her
PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : Honestly, if we're mutuals I generally prefer discord because it's something I will be notified on regardless of whether I'm on my computer or not or even which account I'm on. But I also don't mind using tumblr ims or whatever is best for my partners.
NAME OF MUSE(S) : Sanae Hanekoma (@strawberry-barista), Wataru Koketsu, Megumi Kitaniji, Ryoji, MKN/Mikan, Yodai Higashizawa (@networkscrambled), Haruto Abe (@falseapostle), Aku (@mystical-strawberry-sheep), Souan Awaki, Kaoru Rindo (@enchantedbrew), Mr. Saguaro (@sweetlesson), Director Cyrano (@blueskilled), Byron Rosfield (@phoenixcoin)
EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG ( MONTHS / YEARS? ) : Lord, I don't even remember. For a really long time, since I was in grade school. There's at least over 10 years in there somewhere.
BEST EXPERIENCE : Oh man. I don't think I could really make a decision like that. I have so many fond memories here already. I've loved every moment I've spent writing with Dusty and Morty and Willow and J and Alex and Egg and Katee and Roxy and Seb and Kellin and Ruby and and... I love everyone. I have had so much fun and I love everyone.
RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : The more I experience callouts and cancellations and things like that, the less okay with it I am. I think I will never make it a rule for my partners to not participate in that stuff because I know everyone is going to have a line where they feel like it's necessary, but I'm legitimately never going to participate or even listen to it myself. I used to sit on this line of "if someone is legitimately dangerous, I should not interact with them", but oftentimes the information I get to inform me that someone is dangerous just does not seem very well put together and reads a lot like yellow journalism in which things are cut and edited in such a way that the full context is totally missing. It feels misleading and purposefully made to start drama, and I really don't feel good about it. I don't think I can even stand by that previous standard I used to have anymore. I just straight up don't believe them, and if someone is legitimately dangerous, I guess I'll have to learn that for myself.
Especially when someone used to be problematic and are trying to apologize and make up for it and grow as a person. I don't feel like it's fair to force people out of a community because of past grievances that they are actively trying to grow past and not repeat. I understand past victims have no obligation to try to reach out again, but I still don't feel like that's reason enough to make sure no one ever gives them another chance.
I think this is the first and only post in which I'm going to go this in-depth about this, because I feel like someone is going to start calling me out just for having this stance. 😂
MUSE PREFERENCES FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT : Smut is almost never gonna happen with me. I will use it strictly to explore the potential of emotional exploration through the medium of physical touch and it's gonna be a whole thing if it does happen. Fluff and angst are loved tremendously and equally, however, I try not to write angst on this blog anymore because there was a time in which I was upsetting a lot of people with those kinds of posts.
PLOTS OR MEMES : I am so terrible at plotting I run my blog almost entirely on memes. However, for folks that prefer plotting I will absolutely do my best. I just have a really hard time imagining specifics for my characters and have come to understand that I likely don't even really know how to plot properly? Because I thought it was sitting down to form a reason for characters to interact and like, a story arc and how we were going to get there and all that. But I've recently discovered it's mostly just independently talking about your muses to each other and their personal experiences...? I don't really know how to do it.
LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : The only thing that really matters to me is that there is something to respond to. Multiple replies in a row that are all just one line, however, makes me really uncomfortable. It feels like I'm not worth the time to respond to. I can have really short maybe 2 paragraph responses myself most of the time, but I can enough anything as short as just one paragraph to multiple paragraphs, as long as I have somewhere to go after that.
BEST TIME TO WRITE : Generally I have the most time to do so from 6:30 am-ish to like 2:50 pm-ish. I might write after this on mobile, but usually after that time folks are home and I have things I have to do with them. And even then, my writing times can vary wildly and I will come on and off sporadically. I do the housework in my family unit so I have both all the time in the world and no time whatsoever at the same time.
ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : The only muse I'm even remotely like is Aku, who is a self-insert character. I try to play all of my muses the way I think they would in their canon universes and try really hard not to break the canon already established for them. If you can see me in any muse besides Aku, I'm doing my job poorly and I need to be informed.
tagged by: @charlotte-liddel
tagging: Anyone that wants to steal from me!
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Is this sexual assault?
Me and my ex girlfriend when we were together she would sometimes ask for consent, but other times we just straight up go forward with each other. Another thing is even the few times I told her I was unsure of pleasuring in front of her, she told me she just wanted to make me feel good, and then we continued on anyways. Now that im single, my body feels disgusting and I feel like something is wrong, I feel like it is my fault for feeling guilty. So now I’m questioning if this was my fault.
Hi anon,
I feel like I'm missing a little context because I could see it going either way with these examples (maybe I'm overthinking it). Partners don't necessarily always have to ask for consent every single time they have sex with each other because there's often a longer term, ongoing consent. But that being said of course consent can be revoked or reinstated at any time. It's not necessarily problematic if things lead to sex without any explicit verbal consent, because body language can also be a massive indicator. But if you were actually uncomfortable with these instances that consent was not explicitly asked for, then perhaps you didn't consent to those things.
For the second part about pleasuring in front of her, her communicating that she wanted to make you feel good could either be her simply being transparent and explaining her thoughts or it could've been used to pressure you into continuing. I think that regardless of how she said it, she definitely could've validated your discomfort or hesitance and given you the option to try something else.
None of this is your fault. If you don't consent to a sex act being done to you, you don't always have to say "no" out loud for it to be clear that it's unwanted because things like body language can communicate consent or lack thereof as well. If the perpetrator is oblivious to your body language that's not your fault either, it's theirs. It's imperative for people to make sure that everyone involved are actively and enthusiastically willing participants.
Please know that however you feel about your experiences are valid, and I encourage you to speak with a mental health professional such as a therapist, if you can access or afford it. They can help you process your experiences, explore what consent means to you, and equip you with some healthy coping skills as you make sense of what happened. Please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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Man it's going to be 10 years since I started using UTAU and joined the UTAU community...I got into the whole singing robot gig in 2014 all because of a Hetalia jinriki video, and then many things happened in my time in the community like it was a pipebomb exploding in my face LOL. It's that time when I sort of miss the old 2014 UTAU days, when the community was chill amidst the usual online discourse, when the DeviantArt UTAU community was active, and so on...
I suppose my experience with the community itself has been alright, and it's had its ups and downs. But when I was using Twitter a lot during 2017-2023, I was constantly being exposed to so much discourse that it ended up impacting my mental wellbeing and the way I enjoyed using UTAU. Just constantly seeing the people you looked up to turning out to be horrible and among other things just made my enjoyment with UTAU more and more miserable to the point when I didn't use Twitter for a couple of months.
I think the more positive experiences in this community were among the more memorable ones, among one of them being my participation in the Anison Sprint medley hosted by KIRA and cheesum. Participating in UtauVision 2017 and UHP-CB 2018 were also good memories for me. Over time, I worked on my voicebank production and cover making skills for fun while trying to have a good time, which progressively got harder as online discourse got more frequent. But I made a fair amount of friends along the way, even including those I looked up to a lot.
These days, I don't really interact with the UTAU community that much because of how toxic it can get at times, but I'm trying my best to see the good in it, and I know that there are some good people in there. It's pretty hard to see that since online discourse pops up a lot, especially when it happens on Twitter. And I barely use Twitter other than to retweet art and post my own works there, curating my feed vigorously. I don't really pay that much attention to the more negative stuff that's happening, so I think that has benefited my health significantly.
I guess I just feel like a half-jaded UTAU veteran who's still recovering from a massive cover burnout and is trying to appreciate the UTAU community in spite of everything, and I'm learning not to be obligated to post covers frequently unlike last year. I find myself engaging in other fun hobbies and interests, and at least I'm working on personal projects that don't have to do with singing robots constantly. The only UTAU-related things I'll do for this year is finish up updated standing image artwork and reference sheet for my UTAUs, upload something for their 9th anniversary, and then publish a cover if the inspiration comes to me. Admittedly, even after stepping away from the program, I don't feel THAT pressured to work on something, even when I feel inspired. Maybe it's because of the additional hobbies I've picked up, plus I've been treating my UTAUs as more like OCs these days.
My relationship with UTAU as a hobby is still healing, and maybe one day, I'll get back to posting more covers. But for now, I'd just like to work on other things. It's been a hectic 10 years, and I'd like to it easy. BUT I'm always down to talking about UTAU, because even after all this time, I'm still passionate about it (albeit even more compared to past years) - especially when it comes to voicebank development.
#mine#text#utau#just me trying to enjoy utau from a distance!#i don't think i could ever quit using utau at all#like it's an important part of me i supposed
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kink & asexuality: further thoughts
inspired by these tags via @\skelebk on this post (not tagging them because this post might get a little tmi and they're like. a stranger. but I do want to credit them for giving me the inspiration for this rant because their tags bring up something important that I feel needs to be discussed)
(also, disclaimer that this post isn't trying to change anyone's mind. if you're happy in the kink scene, great! I want you to keep being happy. but this post is about why I, personally, was not happy in the kink scene, and how I made myself a hell of a lot happier once I left it.)
#had a friend who was very into the kink scene#would go to those kink clubs sort of into the scene#they would go on a lot about kink and how great it is and would encourage me to try it out#at some point it started to feel like talking to a religious person who keeps trying to convert you#they also IDed as ace and knew I did too#they kept stressing it wasn't all sexual#it was very tiring#ace#some people just need therapy and not kink#and that's okay
and I want to ramble for a second (it might be gibberish but I am asking you to please bear with me here) about "they kept stressing it wasn't all sexual"
because that's one of those things, like "some aces have sex"/"some aros can be in romantic relationships" that is... true, I guess, but also missing the point. because yeah, not everything under the umbrella of kink involves bumping uglies. that's true. however, the vast majority of how the kink community is organized and structured, its aesthetics, what is talked about within those spaces, what is assumed of people who choose to spend their time within it, etc. exists with the expectation that there is a psychosexual nature to the activities being performed. I know this, from my ill-fated attempts to fit my kind of relationship into the paradigm of kinky power exchange. I also know this from my time trying to do conventional kinky power exchange in a "nonsexual" (but still, because of the nature of kinky power exchange, psychosexual) way.
"nonsexual" kink is, more often than not, still psychosexual. "nonsexual" kink done in an unsafe, irresponsible, or abusive manner can still affect someone in much the same way that sexual trauma can affect someone. and most importantly, "nonsexual" kink is still incredibly dangerous to participate in unless you are a mature and autonomous adult with a good handle on how you react in difficult or stressful situations.
the thing is, though, there are elements of kink that have applications outside of the psychosexual. but if someone wants to explore a certain not directly sexual thing that happens to also fall under the umbrella of kink, whether that not-directly-sexual thing is leader/follower roles or certain types of sensory experiences or whatever, the kink community is often the only place to explore that. and it shouldn't be, especially when it is so hostile by design to so many who could benefit from things that originated within it.
personally, I think that what we need is other types of communities that aim to center different lenses through which these things are experienced. the kink community centers the psychosexual— we need communities that center the psychosocial, the spiritual, the sensory, the intellectual, the cathartic. we need communities that build on the work that kink communities have already done while also critiquing the places where kink communities fall short. I'm already kind of starting to do this, with Trusted Companionship (specifically, what I am doing is looking at power exchange from a psychosocial angle, focusing on consensual exploration of leader/follower roles as a liberatory practice for those who have had power wielded against them).
but we need more people doing the same thing from different angles, because just like kink as a paradigm won't work for everyone, Trusted Companionship as a paradigm won't work for everyone who kink doesn't work for.
and we also need to stop doing that annoying thing where we assume that the only way to have a healthy relationship at all is through kink. because jesus fuck, dude. why do we do that.
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30 please 🙂
ao3 wrapped: 30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?
that's a good question haha!
I spent a lot of time in the spring and summer thinking about what it would be like to start on this degree. I knew I'd be really busy, and I knew I would be tired (somehow underestimated it a little lol, it's definitely very philosophically intense), but what I didn't expect was just how much I'd miss being able to write as much as I used to. I'll be sitting in class and we're discussing some dead guy and I'm like ooooh what if I wrote xyz in the fic lol. it's funny because revolution is far from the most popular thing I've ever written (it's my most popular on ao3 but I've had other accounts on other sites in the past), but I think it's become the most impactful, certainly on me. it means THE WORLD when someone tells me it made them think about a certain issue or gave them an idea or helped them process a real-world problem. of course, then there's the question of transforming that into something that can be felt tangibly in the world, but it certainly has helped shaped my approach to my actual job, and I got to close out the semester with someone telling me that the way I operate in my role made them feel like they could participate and not just passively receive support, and that's a small victory, but in times like these, I'm not writing off anything
it's also interesting because the way my program works, we attract a lot of activist types (like one of my classmates used to be a reporter in Gaza; she's hurting a lot right now), and many of us have community organizing or non-profit experience, and we talk A LOT about how to bring ideas and tangible change to the public, not only through talking about things we're actively doing/things we've done, but also ideas for the future. and many of the conversations about how to present ideas digestibly remind me of my little fic universe, and I think to myself "maybe I'm doing this? like a little?"
it's kinda like that Freire quote where he says that the weakness of the powerless has to be transformed into a force capable of announcing justice. I imagine a lot of us feel very powerless right now, so trying to cultivate that revolutionary optimism might be helpful, even like a small bit? we probably won't see for a long time, but it's at least been helpful for me
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Hi! I just saw your reply from the anon asking about your thg story! I'm not usually one to send asks or even post on tumblr (never was tbh), but this just hit so close I felt the need to say, me too! That's why I followed you initially, I just gasped at your bio and thought "there's more people like me on here!" and pressed follow!
I too was that insufferable 14 year old. I could not get away with wearing any form of braided hairstyle without being teased that I was trying to be Katniss (I probably was half the time haha). My friends, family, school teachers, everyone knew I was obsessed with the Hunger Games.
It fizzled out gradually for me too. I think it was just the natural progression with the films coming to an end etc etc. It never left though, obviously.
I re read the books before reading the prequel. I'm so with you on these books being a whole different experience now that we're closer to Finnick's age than Katniss and Peeta's. 16 seemed so so old to me, so imagine what i thought of characters like Finnick and Johanna. I can't even comprehend having gone through something like they did at my age now, let alone at 16.
I think back then, the main draw for me was definitely Katniss and Peeta's relationship. It still is one of my favourite things about the books, but after rereading them and the prequel, I agree that there is so much we missed, just by simply being too young to fully comprehend it. I find that I now have a larger interest in the political scope of everything and just the world in general (like...how tf did they rebuild the whole country after mockingay? need to discuss!!)
anyway, sorry for the long "ask". i'm so excited to see another tumblr returner on here! i've been coming back every so often to get content for other things i love, and have only recently taken the plunge and become a little more active.
I suppose there is a sense of shame a lot of us were made to feel about liking the things we like and coming on the internet to form passionate communities around it. I feel the same, it very much is a service to my teen self to come on here and find joy in rediscovering the things I love as well as using this site to explore my new interests. A reclamation, I suppose. I'm a bit more confident now. Back then, I would never, ever have sent asks or made my own posts. I think my 14 year old self is very happy for me, for this little
hope you're having a good day/night, whatever time, where ever you are in the world! :)
Hi hello! I read this as soon as it came in this morning, and wanted to respond, but wanted to be sure to give it the enthusiastic and lengthy response it deserved, that my brain could not formulate at 4 am when I read it.
I am so glad others feel the same. I remember in the early days, I was on Tumblr ( my main blog has existed since 2012 lol), but not active in fandom spaces. I was a fanfic writer. And on Facebook I was REALLY active in fandom and was literally participating in like..Hunger Games RP in Facebook comments. Wild. I was so into it.
Whats really settled with me, as a 25 year old woman, is like..the way mentors had to feel. My baby brother is 17 years old. He is a baby to me. He is just a child to me. I cannot imagine being Johanna or Finnick or Annie, mentoring at my age (or younger, actually), to kids my brothers age. Teenagers feel like Kids and I feel such an immense sisterly, guiding, mentor-ly role to them. Even college kids, I've been a mentor for pre-medicine students in my sorority for years, and those 18 year olds vs me, at 25? massive difference. I cannot imagine watching someone my little brother's age fight to the death. I cannot imagine someone my baby cousin's age, who is 12, fighting someone my brother's age. I cannot imagine watching someone my brother's age lead a war, lead a rebellion, and go through the things Katniss does. I can only imagine the horrors the past Victors learned to feel, and the emotions attached to their tributes every year.
more things that I am horrified by?
Katniss and Peeta. 16 years old. About to be MARRIED in the Capitol.
Gale, 18, working in the mines.
Again, Katniss and Peeta, with the (albeit fake) baby. 17 with a child? I remember being 16 years old, my best friend in the world had a baby. I was there. I remember watching her become a mother far too young, and I have watched ever since the way she has struggled and what it did to her mental health. Two 16/17 year old kids, having a baby, is a horror that should be addressed beyond what I at 16 thought it was. I was so team yes let there be a baby! as a child. But now? Now I see the horror of that. I Have delivered the babies of girls that age. I have held their hands as they are alone in the world. I'm going into a field specifically to help girls and women, in this position especially.
I think to that letter Plutarch wrote Katniss, where he literally says he would put her all through it again for the same outcome.
The youth of these tributes is haunting. If there were capitol doctors around they would be pediatricians. Let that sink in. The things these Victors would need is a pediatrician (also a psychiatrist and a surgeon probably).
Please message me (anyone can actually to talk about this) to talk about these things. The hidden horrors that are missed at 15, that stare you in the face as you reexamine as an adult. I'd love to talk about it in depth. I'd love to talk about how it has shaped me.
But seriously HMU because I want to talk about that most mockingjay rebuilding :)
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In my city activist groups have specific inner guidelines to let people through during emergencies and not doing that is clearly so dangerous and stupid, I'm very sorry that happened.
You said "guilting people going about their daily lives" but I think that is needed: we cannot go about our daily lives, this situation demands for everyone to wake up (meaning voting for and demanding these changes from politicians, participating in boycotts of for example meat and oil, stopping flying... even when these things are difficult for an individual in this society, we are in a situation in which we need to do difficult things). Clearly they have failed in the communication aspect of the protest (communicating what and how to change and why) but I don't think the way of protest itself is flawed. Roadblocks etc are used because they get attention, hopefully make people think and they signify understanding of the brokeness of the societal agreement.
Idk I understand your point and the frustration but I don't think frustration itself is always a dangerous feeling. If you feel like there are better ways to get the change that is urgently needed, that's amazing, please put all your power towards that. But in the end I feel like diverse forms of civic action are needed, even the ones that are "guilt-tripping" (although I do agree that they need to be more clear about offering the solutions).
youre missing the point . they’re not guilting peopel by giving them other options . they’re just shouting about people driving being monsters and killing the planet like . that’s not productive to anyone . urging individual action is a good thing but harassing people and causing disruption without means for good cause is just not how protesting works . because it makes you look like you’re doing it for no reason . they’re not a good climate activist group . and inciting change isn’t gonna work through harassing someone eating meat like pets does or throwing things in the roads like just stop oil does my criticism of them isn’t a criticism of individual change and i think you misinterpreted my words to take that point away . because it’s a criticism of their strategy of activism not of this kind of activism in general you can argue things like militancy garners more attention but this group have done nothing in effect with the attention they’ve been getting they’re just pulling more stunts without actually promoting any way to aid in environmentalism beyond ‘join our group’ there are other environmental activist causes that need more attention who have lobbied parliament or have support from mps .
individual change isn’t everything either if everyone decreased their driving and meat intake we’d still be left with masses and masses of emissions from fast fashion plants manufacturing plants fracking non biodegradable plastic production and you’re right that needs public support but they’re not going to get it through their methods of being total cunts even the just stop oil people in my own city have only ever given me pamphlets on joining their group never been asked to sign a petition never been given any information on how to reduce my personal co2 emissions and it’s the same for everyone else i know . idk if it’s the same for others but in my city they don’t do anything tiger than promote themselves with no substance under why we should do that . they’re a pretty bad activist group because they don’t know HOW to gain support from the public and they aren’t doing anything to show you what their group is actually doing besides viral stunts .
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Hello! May I participate in your game?
First name: Aishwarya
Sun sign: Scorpio
moon: Virgo
Venus: Libra
Well, honestly, It's that I feel a part of me missing, perhaps cause I crave love ,also, I am very curious. Always wanted to have that special someone who I could just shower my love upon, highly romantic lol the idea of falling in love is beautiful, but at the same time I am scared for falling for the wrong one. Sometimes i used even wonder if i deserve love, now I'm working more on loving myself so that when time comes I can just let myself free 😌
I'd like to got with Tarot and choose option number 2!
Thank you for your time and energy! Hope you have a lovely day!
Hello Aishwarya, let's see!
Season, when you'll meet= Autumn
Season, when you'll start dating= Spring
Elements/Signs that came in the reading= fire signs, sagittarius, earth signs, aries
Your first boyfriend as a boyfriend is like an energy bomb, so much and intense energy. So first of all, good news is this person definitely will be in love with you. And they will act like a person in love. So you can expect a lot of romantic gestures from their side. But of course, it means they'll want a lot of lovey dovey attention from you, too! Your first boyfriend will be very social around you. They are like a wave of positivity. With them it's gonna be a lot of fun and like rainbows and unicorns. They also have a very healing side to them. So being with them could feel very soothing and healing. And it looks like you can never get enough of them. They are also pretty optimistic and brave. This person isn't afraid of expressing themselves and being themselves and they like to encourage you as well. They have the ability to see the bigger picture, so they can be quite far-sighted, when it comes to you two. And they have much wisdom to share with you. If you go through a situation and it seems to be giving you a hard time, they know, how to make you see the other side of things. Because they see the bigger picture. They'll show you the positive sides of things. They are also very self-confident and very grounded. In a relationship they can be quite authoritative. They are very unapologetic. And they are also quite practical. And they love skinship! Also, they might actually be into self-care routines and they want to look good and give a good image or impression of themselves. Now, this person really can not stand stagnation of any kind. So you'll see them doing some purging, if necessary. For them a healthy relationship is really important and they aim at that. At times you could feel like they are quite high-maintenance. But yeah, they are truly aiming at having a fulfilling relationship with you. You can expect a lot of communication and surprises from them. They will definitely want to go on all sort of dates with you. Travelling is also a possibility, and like camping and road trips, maybe cruising and all of that. Like they want to go to places with you. And they will make you feel noticed and wanted. But they want a lot of attention from you, too, and they want you to be active in the relationship as well. And they love it, when you show them you want them. That's what it looks like.
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I’m a BYU student, and I broke up with my partner a few days ago. I broke up with them for many reasons, but one of which was I just can’t handle the anxiety of being in a same-sex relationship at BYU. We’d been together almost a year, and I just feel this horrible loss because I still love them. We’re going to be roommates this next school year. We’ve promised ourselves that we’re going to be best friends whether we’re dating or not. They’re aromantic and have already gotten over the loss of our romantic relationship. I want to be able to get to that point where I can be friends with them without feeling this immense pain. Do you have any advice for breaking up and moving on from someone?
I think the #1 piece of advice that people normally give is to make a clean break, cut them out, stop communicating with them completely.
That's one approach for moving on. For queer people, especially in spaces like BYU where it's not always safe to be out and open, it's a small population and there tends to be a lot of overlap in who dates who and we need to keep our friendships and support network.
Rather than kick someone out of your life, for the next little bit take a break from them, try to avoid the person, including online, as a way to psychologically make the break. A little time apart can help you shift from romance to friendship.
Often relationships include a lot of time and communication, changing the relationship means a change in the amount of time and communication. People often miss their ex during times like the weekends when they used to spend a lot of time together. Plan things ahead of time to keep yourself busy. Even if that's watching a movie or listening to music or watching/participating in a sport you like, doing something you enjoy will help keep your mind busy.
I'm not sure if you have other queer friends you can talk with about this, but talking with people helps to express your feelings and make sense of them and work through them.
Also, when people aren't feeling well, aren't happy, they tend to not take care of themselves. Try to get regular sleep, stay active, eat healthy.
Your planning to live together in a few weeks. You can speak about some ground rules. This includes apartment rules, friendship boundaries and so on. This will help make sure you're both on the same page.
I applaud you for recognizing you needed a change and making that happen. Good luck with every thing!!!
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