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#i mean not sure how the kid part happened but i laughed so hard i puked when i got both sides at the same time
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#there should be a word for when youre talking around the tightness of tears#speaking against something that hurts#laughing specifically to undermine the seriousness of the statements youre voicing#the worst of both worlds. help me help me hahaha im not even joking hahaha but listen to the lies in my tone. dont focus on the words.#i want plausible deniability. but also i want u to understand my pain and give it a voice. speak it into existence because i cant say it#but if u do i might cry. that sounds hard that sounds like a lot. i kno i know. shut up. keep talking. do u think i dont feel it? i do#but if i split myself in two i can watch myself and suddenly it becomes funny. im not sure why. but i have a bad habbit of laughting at#inappropriate moments. because if its not funny then its just sad and what am i supposed to do with that?#i dunno. thats all to say my dad called bc i was looking at housing stuff and i was explaining some of the stuff im doing rn#and thats hard to talk abt without crying bc ive always been a cry bby but i didnt. and i love my parents theyre great#but they dont understand bc i havent told them all of it bc theres nothing they can do so y make them worry. and idk i also think they#think im less competent than i am. and part of that is just bc im their kid. part of that is bc there r things thst most ppl can do but i#struggle with. but its also not fun to hear: oh yeah i was surprised by how professional u sounded. or i think ur mom found u those#connections. when no. i did that. i made those things happen. i promise i can do things sometimes. but sometimes i cant. i dunno its just#it is what it is. whatever. decisions to b made. do i room with roommates for lower rent#or do i take an expensive place for a year for a single room? i dont want roommates but ill take them#i mean all the single places r like 950 at the very lowest without any utilities or anything but most r well over 1000 and like on a grad#student salary? i think not. not without losing money on net. i can deal with roommates. i have in the past. i wont b able to relax ever#but its fine. ya kno#just annoying. hah my dads sage advice was ah dont let it overwhelm u. go exercise. bc hes an endurance runner guy#and im like bro when i get home i have 1.5 hrs of daylight. but alas hes right. i do gotta run out my angers and its not enough#ugh. one more week. itll work out. and eventually ill walk into a counselors office like bro i just want u to tell me whether or not i have#0cd bc whatever the fuck it is that makes me do these things is absolutely destroying me. name the beast 0cd or 0cpd. tell me what box#i fit into. not that it matters but i feel like i cant complain until someone else rubber stamps me. actually then ill probably just obsess#abt how. actually. theyre wrong. ay fun times#i gotta shake shake shake my sillies out. and wiggle my waggles away. bc i never could let my kids songs go haha#unrelated
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jade-curtiss · 9 months
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Ok almost happened but it would have been like no one had anything to carry in our position (I mean it was like rather ok someone is shorter than i am kind of business in that time, weird)
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happy74827 · 6 months
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Fill the Void
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[Mike Schmidt x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: You didn’t know what you were more terrified of. Ruining the relationship between the man you secretly loved, or the presence of his little sister who seemed to despise you.
WC: 2,818
Category: Lime/Steamy, Slight Angst
Omg, I need to stop writing him. It’s such an obsession at this point.
『••✎••』
Mike was kissing you, like actually kissing you. His hands were on your hips, pulling you closer, while yours were in his hair. His eyes, those pleading eyes, were looking up at you with such passion, such longing that it made you weak at the knees. You could see the way the Adam's apple in his throat bobbed as he swallowed, his jaw clenching tightly as he took in a deep breath. His lips were slightly parted, inviting you to kiss him again and again.
You still didn't understand how this happened. You were trying to calm him down after a fight that happened the day before. He had gotten into a shouting match with his sister about how she treated you, and then it all escalated. It was a huge argument, with a lot of hurtful things said. It ended with Mike slamming his fist against the wall and Abby storming out of the room. You had spent the entire day trying to get him to talk to you, to talk to her. You tried to get him to apologize for what he said because you knew deep down he didn't mean any of it. He had just been so stressed, so angry, that he wasn't thinking straight.
So, there you were the next day, sitting on your bed with Mike as he ranted to you about practically everything. He talked about how he couldn't stand how Abby treated you and that it made him feel sick to his stomach. He told you that he couldn't stand to see the way that she would look at you like she was disgusted by the mere fact that you were around. He didn't like how she talked down to you like you were a kid or how she treated you like you didn't have any thoughts of your own.
And that was when it happened. You tried to reason with him, to calm him down, and that's when you first felt it. You felt the spark in the air, you saw the way his pupils dilated, and you felt the way his skin felt warm under your fingertips.
You had to admit it. You were so scared. You liked Mike, you really did. You liked the way he would protect you, the way he would make sure you were okay even though you weren't technically his family; you were just a friend who lived next door. You liked how he made you laugh, how he could always make you smile and brighten your day. You liked how he would take your hand when you were scared and comfort you with soft whispers.
You liked him a lot, and that terrified you.
You never really talked to anyone about how you felt about Mike. You never even mentioned it to him, even if it was on the tip of your tongue every time you looked at him. He had always told you he thought of you as family, but you weren't sure he meant it in the same way that you did. You were worried if you brought up the subject of you and him, it would ruin everything, that he wouldn't feel the same way about you. You were scared to ruin this friendship that you two had. It was a friendship you cherished and valued more than anything.
That was why you were so shocked when Mike was the one who brought up the subject. He looked into your eyes, and you knew he could see it all. He could see the way you felt, the way your heart pounded at the mere thought of him, and the way you had a hard time catching your breath when you saw him. And instead of shying away, turning bright red, and leaving the room, he got closer to you. He brushed his lips against yours, and you knew there was no turning back. You knew you were a goner, you were so screwed, and you couldn't bring yourself to care.
You deepened the kiss, pressing yourself against him as he maneuvered your body around so he was looking up at you instead of down. Your fingers slid along his cheeks, going into his hair, tugging slightly at the strands. Your eyes fluttered shut as he kissed you over and over. Your head was spinning, and it was all so overwhelming that you couldn't focus on anything. All you could do was kiss him back with everything you had, feeling the way his hands trailed up your sides, pushing your shirt up.
God, it felt so right. This felt so perfect. You never wanted it to end. You wanted to stay at this moment forever. You wanted to freeze time, to stop the moment before anything could ruin it. You wanted to stop and relish in the way his lips felt against yours, how his hands felt against your skin. You wanted to remember how he looked, with his eyes closed as you kissed him. You wanted to remember how he tasted, sweet and addictive. You wanted to remember the feeling of his heart beating, of the way it pounded against his chest, of the way it matched your own. You wanted to remember the way he smelled and the way he sounded when you tugged at his hair, making him groan quietly.
You wanted to remember everything, a reminder that this was real. This wasn't some dream or a fantasy. This was reality. It was real, and you wanted to savor it while you still could.
Unfortunately, Mike was only a human, and he needed air. He pulled away, but only for a moment. He leaned his forehead against yours, and you took in a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. You could still taste him on your lips, and you felt like you were on cloud nine. It was so perfect, so perfect that it almost scared you.
You didn't know what to say; you were completely speechless. You didn't know how to process this. You just sat there, staring into his eyes, taking in everything about him. You didn't want to ruin the moment. You didn't want to do anything to mess this up. You were scared of what would happen next; you were scared to ask.
Mike sensed your hesitation, and his lips pulled into a smile. He pushed your hair out of your face, letting his thumb trace along your jaw.
"It's okay," he said in a low whisper, his voice almost husky. "I feel it, too."
Those three words. He had said those words to you before. It had been in a different situation, but it was something similar, something you remembered vividly. That time, he meant it as family. This time, you knew he meant it differently. You weren't just friends with him anymore. You were something more.
He leaned in, kissing you again, but this time, it was different. This time, you felt more than you did before. You felt like there were fireworks behind your eyes, and sparks were running through your body. You felt like your heart was on the verge of bursting as he kissed you, and your stomach filled with butterflies. You felt like you were falling, but you also felt like you were flying. It was the most amazing feeling ever, and you wanted to feel it over and over again.
But, sadly, all good things come to an end. Mike practically ripped himself away from you in an instant, and you blinked in confusion as he peeked around you. His eyebrows furrowed, and he side-eyed you before glancing back again.
You looked at him, wondering what was going on, until you heard a creak of the floorboards, and your blood ran cold. Mike's eyes snapped toward his watch, and you noticed how his concern shifted to confusion before softly getting up from under you. He brushed himself off, giving you a sheepish smile before clearing his throat.
"Abby?" he called out, sounding as sweet as ever, as he crossed the room and looked down the hallway. "What are... It's eleven, Abs! Why aren't you at school? I'm not supposed to get you for another hour and a half!"
You scrambled off of your bed, feeling your face flush as you made your way over to Mike, trying to catch your breath. You could hear the sounds of her footsteps coming up closer, and you pushed yourself against Mike's chest as if to hide behind him. You didn't want her to see you, not yet, not after everything that just happened between the two of them the day before.
"I had to walk home," she said in a sullen tone as she made her way towards the two of you. She didn't seem to notice you yet. "Why didn't you pick me up?"
"What're you talking about?" he asked, his confusion only growing. You peeked over his shoulder and saw how she stood there, arms crossed and glaring at Mike. "I told you I'd pick you up at noon."
"What are you talking about? It is noon!" she argued back. "Maybe you should be paying more attention to your watch."
At that, Mike squinted his eyes before rushing back into the room, leaving you without protection from her angry eyes. She noticed you rather immediately, and she seemed to be taken aback for a moment.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice low as she glared at you. You thought the most terrifying moment would be her finding out about the situation, but this was almost worse in terms of reactions. She looked like she could kill you in an instant, and she had no clue what was going on between the two of you.
You had a stare-down with her before turning your head towards the loud noise coming from the room. Mike had a hand to his hair, and he looked about ready to rip it all out.
"The time change!" he yelled in realization, and you thought that was the end of that. You could see how his eyes shifted from you to his watch and then to his sister, and he seemed to finally put the pieces together. "Oh... I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry, Abs, I didn't-"
"It's fine," she interrupted, and you could see her composure shifting as though she were trying to be calmer. "It's no big deal. I guess you were too busy with... uh... well..."
She glanced over at you for a split second, and you wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. This was so awkward. You felt like you were going to throw up. How can a ten-year-old girl with a staring problem be this intimidating?
"Abs, don't start this again," Mike warned, giving her an annoyed glare. You thought maybe it would work this time. Maybe he would convince her to drop this subject. You were wrong.
"Again?" she repeated, cocking her head to the side and giving him a look of disbelief. "What am I doing?"
"This!" Mike said in frustration, pointing to her as though it would make her understand. "You're doing this!"
She seemed to ignore his statement, and you had a sinking feeling that she did it on purpose. "I'm sorry, did I interrupt something? Is there a reason why you're in my brother's room?"
"Oh my God," he mumbled under his breath, and you swore you could hear his eyeballs rolling back into his head. He then let out a loud groan and threw his hands into the air. "Can we just... I don't know. Maybe just talk about this later. Okay? I need to finish getting ready for work and-"
"Fine!" she hissed before stomping back down the hall, back down the stairs, and slamming the door shut behind her.
Mike let out a deep sigh as he plopped himself down on the bed. He dropped his head back and ran his fingers through his hair, letting out another sigh. You could only stand there awkwardly before slowly making your way to him, sitting beside him, and placing a hand on his shoulder. You tried to offer him some comfort, some sympathy for what was going on with the two of them.
"You okay?" you asked him softly, and he looked up at you. You could see the exhaustion on his face, but there was still something else there. You could see it in the way his eyebrows were furrowed and how his jaw was clenched. You could see it in his eyes. He had something else going on in that big brain of his.
"I don't know why she's acting like this. She doesn't hate you, I know she doesn't, she's just..."
He trailed off, and you got the hint that he wanted you to ask. You swallowed the lump in your throat before speaking. "She's just what?"
"I don't know," he repeated. "She used to beg me to invite you over, and now... I don't… It's like she's got some vendetta against you. I don't get it."
"Well," you started, trying to ease him into this conversation as much as you could. "I mean... Maybe she's just missing you? I know how close you two are."
"No, that's not it. She knows that I'm always going to put her first and that she's the most important thing to me, so she doesn't need to feel like that's changing. I'm still going to be her big brother, and I'm still going to love her and take care of her. I just have you in my life now, too, so... Oh. That's why..."
You nodded slowly, trying to tell him with your eyes that he was right on the money.
"Shit, I've been such a jerk to her," he sighed, closing his eyes tightly for a moment before rubbing them with his fingers. "I just get so stressed about everything, and I get mad. She's my sister; she's the most important thing to me, and I've been... I haven't been a good big brother to her lately."
"It's okay, Mike, really," you tried to tell him, placing your hand on his back and rubbing it in small circles. "You just have to talk to her about it. Preferably, when I'm not here."
"Yeah, no kidding," he snorted, shaking his head. "I just... I don't know what to do. I don't know how to talk to her. She's so good at this, you know? She gets under my skin so easily, and I can never really tell what I should be doing with her."
"I'm sure she feels the same way. She's just stressed out, too," you offered, trying to sound as sweet as possible to cheer him up. It didn't seem like it worked.
"Yeah, I know," he muttered. "I guess we'll just have to... Wait, what time is it?"
You glanced at your watch, seeing that it was half past noon. He jumped up off the bed, his eyes widening.
"Oh, shit," he hissed, running to the door. "I'm supposed to be at work by now."
"You really are just out of your mind today, huh?" you laughed, shaking your head in amusement as you watched him scramble around his room, getting ready for work.
He seemed to completely ignore your statement and continued on his frantic rampage to grab his necessities. Once he was ready, he shot you a glance, and you knew you had to get moving, too. He had already gotten you fired once, and you didn't want it to happen again.
"I'll catch you later, okay? I'll talk to Abby tonight and hopefully get some answers," he promised. You smiled at him as he leaned in, kissing you one more time. You stood there as he opened the door to leave, but then he stopped in his tracks and turned around, giving you a serious look. "If you don't want to... you know, Max's number is on the fridge. It's always there for emergencies or anything else. I know she'd be more than happy to watch Abby—even though I can barely pay her anymore."
"It's okay, Mike," you said with a smile. "Go to work. I'll figure something out."
With a quick nod, he left, closing the door behind him.
You thought about calling Max, but you decided against it. If you and Mike were going to have any chance at a relationship, then you knew you had to face Abby sooner or later. You might save the conversation for Mike and her to have, but that didn't mean you couldn't start proving that you weren't just some stranger who came into his life to steal him away.
You were going to make Abby see that not only you were worthy of being around her brother, but you were also worthy of being around her, too.
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moonydustx · 3 months
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A not so funny story
requests | mastelist
Summary: With Uta controlling everyone and the marine attacking, you needed to contain an unconscious Law who was looking to join the fight. Now, you need to deal with the consequences of him finding out about this.
Pairing: Trafalgar Law x F!Reader
Warnings: blood, Law hurts Reader (not on purpose), they both love each other, but they are idiots who don't know how to talk. Law doesn't know how to express his feelings in this one. Angst, kinda fluff/happy ending.
W/C: 3.6k
A/N: I just saw the movie Red and the idea came to my mind. I need to shake off the rust and get back to writing, I thought it would be a good solution. Despite being linked to the film OP Red, there may be some things that differ from the canon.
For those who haven't seen the film, a spoiler-free context: in the film, we see a singer called Uta, who Bepo is a fan of and, together with Law, go to the show. Problems happen, she puts everyone to sleep and with her power, she manipulates these sleeping people to fight with other people who want to stop her.
italics apply to flashbacks and thoughts
Part 2 | Part 3 (NSFW)
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The cold stone beneath you contrasted with your hot, sweaty body. You could feel the wounds burning on your body and if you reached out your hand, you could find the cause of them, your captain.
In the distance, you could hear someone calling your name and it didn't take long for Penguin to appear in your field of vision.
"Are you okay?"
"He gave me a hard time, but I'm fine. And you?" You grumbled, sitting up and taking in your surroundings. Apparently everyone had gone back to sleep.
"We're tired but fine. You're bleeding, do you need any help?"
"Everything is fine." You stood, with his help. "We need to get them out of here, I doubt the marines will miss the chance to catch so many pirates gathered in one place. At the very least, this will end in a fight."
You chose to help carry Bepo back to Polar Tang. Even though he was big, sharing the weight would be much easier than carrying Law alone. As soon as you entered the submarine, you disappeared from sight, leaving all of Uta's fight behind.
"Do you guys need help? I can see some pretty bad injuries from here." Ikkaku approached, already stopping the blood on your forehead. "Are they both okay?"
"We should take them to the infirmary and keep them under observation." you warned, seeing two other crew members carry them out of sight. "Can we get away from the fight?"
"Yeah, off their radar." someone answered you in the background.
"Perfect, keep us at this depth, keep an eye on the radios, any sign of change, if Law hasn't woken up, you look for me." You leaned against one of the tables, trying to ignore some of the pain in your body.
It was supposed to be just a quick show, at least that's what Bepo had said. Unfortunately for Law, he ended up being the polar bear's requested companion.
"Sure you don't want to change places with me?" Law appeared next to you, while you finished cleaning the kitchen.
"No captain, I'll be right here, with my duties." You smiled at him and, despite being frustrated, he let out a sideways smile.
"You know that I'm the captain right? That I can give the order and you have to go and I don't."
"You wouldn't be so mean, would you?" you asked indignantly and on one of the few occasions, you heard him laugh, even if it was low tone. "Captain!"
"I'm kidding. Just keep an eye on everything, okay? Don't let Shachi and Penguin cause any trouble."
"Yes, sir. And you, enjoy the show."
You were almost regretting not accepting the proposal. Law would certainly be much better at containing you and preventing you from getting into a big fight than you would be doing the opposite. But you liked the idea of ​​him trusting you.
"Everything is alright?" Ikkaku took you out of your reverie, noticing your body slightly bent and the blood falling on your forehead.
"Try holding back a furious Trafalgar Law from wanting to get into a fight and tell me if that's okay." You laughed, even though it took some of the air out of you. "Just a few bruises, nothing major."
"Come on, I'll help you take care of this." Ikkaku gently pulled you by the hand.
"Boys, do you deal with them?" you asked and they both nodded. "If Law wakes up, don't say anything to him about our little fight."
"You mean, about the big fucking beating he gave you?" Shachi teased you, earning a push.
"Exactly. He has bigger problems to worry about than dealing with this."
You and Ikkaku headed towards the dorm you shared. Your friend made a point of supporting you at every step, even if you insisted it wasn't necessary. She sat you down on the bed and grabbed a small first aid kit hidden on one of the shelves.
"Why not tell the captain?"
"Outch" you mumbled with one of the stitches she had on your face. "I have a feeling he's not going to like that we got into this fight without his presence."
"I think he'll be more resentful that you were the one who held him back." You laughed at her silly observation, then grumbled with another needle. Damn fight. "Don't act stupid."
"What you mean?"
"I'll let you choose. Between you being the only one who can steal books from him without him complaining or about every time we disembark, you having to be on his side. Should I mention that time he freaked out because Kid wanted to take you to the crew from him?" she laughed to herself, at her own memory. "What do you need to see that he likes you too?"
"And who said I like him?"
"Okay, you still want to keep hiding your feelings for him, just hide it better." she laughed again. It was clear to her - and anyone else who saw - that there was something between the two of you. You just prefer not to feed this illusion. "Still, I agree that he won't like all this one bit. Let's try to keep out of his sight."
Law was still trying to assimilate everything that happened. Uta's show had turned into a war scene and in the end, even he had become a puppet. That idea would haunt him for a long time.
Despite recent events, Polar Tang was quiet, too quiet. He could hear some buzzing, nothing he could identify. Another thing he couldn't place was you. The last time he saw you, he had tried to bargain for your presence at the show, even though he had asked to change places with you, he didn't think the idea of ​​going with you was bad. You'd probably hate the song, but he'd enjoy your sarcastic comments about any awkward situation. A small laugh crossed his lips when he thought about what you would say to see little Bepo.
At dinner, he observed Shachi, Penguin and Bepo, talking to each other. The concerned expressions denoted the seriousness of the matter, but that could come later. Even though he slept through it all, he still felt tired.
At lunch the next day, again, nothing from you. Ikkaku was also missing. It was impossible for the two of them to have disappeared together and without any justification. He tried not to think about the worst-case scenarios, but no matter how much he denied it, he wasn't such an optimistic person.
It only took a few seconds of your three companions stalling for him to know that you and Ikkaku were up to something or had already been up to something. He left them behind, following with firm steps to your room.
"I didn't see you two at lunch or yesterday at dinner, I wanted to know..." you two found Law leaning against the door of your room. His relaxed position disappeared in seconds when he looked at where Ikkaku's hand joined your forehead. "What happened?"
"Just a few scratches, nothing major." your colleague replied before you could open your mouth. She knew - actually, you weren't that good at hiding it - about your feelings and how easily you could wrap your head around your own words.
"Yeah, they're from yesterday, some scratches." you tried to complement, the captain's serious expression made it clear that that hadn't helped at all.
"Nothing much and that's why you haven't shown up since yesterday?" he grumbled and before he could continue his lecture, he felt his body being pushed forward, with Bepo, Shachi and Penguin falling beside him. "What the fuck?"
"We just wanted to know if you already know that she was the one..." before the bear finished speaking, the other two covered his mouth.
The grey eyes trailed from you to Ikkaku, to the group lying next to him, and back to you again. The small stress that was forming inside Law turned into concern when he saw the small trickle of blood dripping from your eyebrow.
It only took a few moments away for you to appear like that and he would never tolerate that, you didn't need to know about his feelings or how he was already thinking about taking revenge on whoever had done that, he would deal with it after taking care of your wound .
"Everyone out." you made to follow Ikkaku, stopping a few meters away. "Not you, I need to see this."
The door to the small room knocked subtly behind Law, who waited for a few seconds to approach you. The two of you already had a considerable height difference, but when you felt Law's cold, tattooed fingers on your chin, you felt even smaller. He turned both sides of your face, despite the cold touch, you could feel your skin burn beneath his fingers.
"You're warm, but I don't see any trace of infection." Not this one, you thought. "Give me the name?"
"Name?"
"Which idiot did this?" he replied without much patience, his fingers leaving your face behind.
"This is going to be a funny story." you laughed, stopping immediately when you saw him look deep into your eyes, his expression serious in an almost irritating way.
"Someone decided to hurt one of my crew. I don't think it's such a funny story. Who did it?"
"Captain of the Heart Pirates, Trafalgar Law." your answer didn't seem to catch him instantly, with each word that left your mouth, you could see him getting paler and paler. "I believe you already know, but Uta managed to control everyone who was asleep to attack the pirates and the marines and with that, you and Bepo were also controlled. The boys held Bepo and I had to deal with you, but everything is fine. "
"They told me about Bepo..." he seemed lost for words, taking a certain distance from you and leaning on the small table in your room. "So you restrained me, alone?"
"You, actually Uta, didn't have access to your Devil Fruit powers, it ended up being easier. After all, our mission was just to keep you two away from the navy." you explained, leaning on the opposite side to where he was, seeing his crestfallen expression. "Like I said, it's okay captain."
"Where else did I hurt you?" the question took you by surprise, making it difficult to hide your reaction. "I know my strength, I have a feeling it wasn't just that. I could see it myself, but I trust you, so please."
With your fists clenched and your gaze following your every step, Law could see your hand go to your ribs, along with a grumble, as you bent down to pick up a small cloth and fill it with something that smelled similar to alcohol. As much as he noticed you trying hard, he could see you limping. He watched you smear the contents on one of your cheeks and your arm, revealing some bruises.
You stopped in front of him, letting him analyze. Despite the pain throughout your body, Law's proximity was almost like an anesthetic. If he stayed there, you wouldn't mind spending the day under his gaze. Law took your arm, gently sliding his fingers under the bruise, watching you flinch in discomfort. His hands practically put your arm back in place and placed themselves on the zipper of your jumpsuit.
Your hands placed themselves next to his, pulling the device and opening the entire piece. Of all the times he had dreamed of touching your skin, none had felt like this. He liked to imagine how soft it would be, to think about how your body would shiver, to feel with his own lips every piece of exposed skin, while he heard you ask for more. All the purple spots he had dreamed of leaving on your skin were nothing like the one he saw. Thoughts would need to be put aside at that moment.
His hand knocked down one side of your jumpsuit, showing the large bruise on your rib, which made him hold his breath for a few seconds.
"What else?" his voice was barely audible. He knew there was more to it, but he didn't want to be invasive.
"Just this cut." you took off the other strap of your jumpsuit and let it fall below your waist, showing the wound on your thigh. It wasn't that big, but when you both looked at the place, you understood where all the warmth in your body was coming from. "Shit. It wasn't like this last time I looked." actually it was, you just wanted to spare him the worry.
You adjusted your jumpsuit, leaving the top hanging around your waist. Your eyes searched for Law's, but he seemed to be far away, even just a few centimeters away. For some time, he didn't say anything. His eyes followed one point you had shown and others, looking for other signs. His hands prostrated in front of his body, why had he done that? Why hurt you?
"Law?"
"I...I..." the words seemed stuck somewhere inside him. His hands placed themselves next to your face, a gesture you hadn't received from him yet. "I don't know how to apologize. Forgive me, I didn't want any of this to happen."
"No need, Law, really. I was doing what any of us would do, taking care of our crew, taking care of our captain."
Again the words seemed to have escaped him. He just wished he could hold you and apologize a thousand times, hold you there and heal every little part of you and never allow anything to hurt you again. Some conscious side of him screamed in the background that this wasn't anyone's fault, but the sound seemed so far away to hear, while the picture of what he had done was so close to him.
A few seconds passed, his hands were still on your face, while you just enjoyed the awkward affection you received. He didn't know how to deal with that feeling, it was a guilt like he had never felt. Along with a fear, a need to see you well. There were too many things to deal with and at that moment, he chose to be the most rational one.
"It's infected and may have broken something." Law let his medical side take control of the situation. "Room. Shambles."
Before you even noticed the blue dome surrounding you, the two of you had already been transported to the infirmary. You remained standing in your place as you watched the captain hurriedly walk around the room, collecting some materials and before you could try to get on the stretcher, the two of you were already being taken to another place.
The table full of books, the small window of the Polar Tang showing some little orange fish passing by outside, a cozy bed, even with the sheets spread out. That definitely wasn't your room. You watched Law leave the materials on the table and reach Kikoku. You saw the blue dome again, this time, you knew that he was using his powers to confirm that you had indeed presented all your injuries to him.
"I was worried about your rib, but apparently it was just the bruise. Now about your leg, I may need to redo those stitches and medicate you. I can't let the infection spread."
You knew he was nervous, bordering on anxious, but you had known him long enough to know that stopping him from treating you would be even worse. You had chosen to hide your injuries so that Law wouldn't feel guilty, now that he knew, you didn't have much else to do.
"Law." you called out to him carefully, as he prepared the medication. "Do you mind if I bathe first?"
"Sure, I mean, no problem. Just wait a second." He walked away from the table and piled up some things, which he handed into your hand. "Here's my towel, I also left some clothes in case you want to use them, if you don't want to, that's okay. I can ask Ikkaku..."
"This is perfect, thank you Law." you hugged the small bundle of clothes close to your body.
"Room." again, in a matter of seconds, you were at the bathroom door. "I'm sorry, but your leg is really hurt, you shouldn't force it while walking."
"Okay" unlike the time he had taken you to the infirmary, now he had transported you close to each other, which made the air disappear from your lungs. "Can you wait for me? I mean, you said I wouldn't I should force my leg and..."
"I'll be outside, just call me and I'll be here." Please call me, Law's inner voice practically screamed.
Your shower was much quicker than you expected. Just knowing that he was waiting for you outside made butterflies fight in your stomach. You gently dried your body and took the clothes he had given you. Something that looked like shorts - it might have been underwear, but you didn't worry about that right now - and a black button-down shirt. As soon as you button the last button, you can pay attention to the smell of the fabric. Something soft, woody, you wondered if that was his scent.
"Law?" All it took was a small call and he soon entered the bathroom. Not as discreetly as he expected, his eyes roamed your body. "Can you help me?"
"Of course" your feet left the floor, giving you a few seconds to assimilate that he had picked you up and carried you back to the room. He hadn't done this before, but you preferred to just enjoy the sensation, locking your arms around his neck.
With a few steps inside the room, he placed you lying on the bed, pulling a rod further to the side, only then did you notice the hanging IV.
Law bent down, reaching your arm level, cleaning it with a small piece of cotton. He looked at the wound on your leg. In silence, he cleaned the area and took some bandages, placing them across the entire length of the wound. The contrast between your warm skin and his cold hands was strangely comfortable. You wished they would last a little longer there.
"I think we can leave these stitches for another day, but I need you to take this medicine. It's an antibiotic, the infection is small, but I'd rather take care of it soon." He pulled the small needle, seeing your face pale. "I'm sorry darling, but it's the best option we have."
Darling.
That word would echo in your mind for a long time. The fear of the needle that was about to come into contact with your skin eased when you saw the care he took with each gesture.
"Just don't look, okay?" He waited for you to close your eyes. "Just a few seconds and that's it. You'll feel sleepy, but that's normal. As soon as you wake up, I'll bring you something to eat."
He got up and started to adjust the pillows on the bed, the ones that were around and under you. His hands rested around your body, his body was on top of yours, even without any immediate contact. It was inevitable not to get lost in his eyes, or see him do the same with yours. You would like to engrave that in your memory, forever.
"Are you comfortable?" his face still had the same tense expression from the first moment he found you in the room.
"I am, I promise." you replied, in a burst of courage, you brought your hand to his face, touching his cheek. "Law, what worries you so much?"
He walked away, sitting at the foot of the bed. You just straightened up so you could look at him. His tattooed hands took off his hat, fingers tangling against the dark strands.
"I can't deal with the fact that I did this. I did this to you. Of all the people that could have been there, I hurt you." he grumbled, turning so he could look at you. "You do not understand."
"Actually, I understand." your answer left him stunned for a few seconds. "But don't blame yourself, you didn't choose this, captain"
"I know, but at the same time..." he huffed, trying to find the right words, which scratched his insides every time he looked at your scourged face. "You understand me, huh? I mean, I don't just see you as a crew member and something tells me you don't just see me as your captain. And knowing that of all the things that could have happened, I hurt you. I promise compensate you for everything."
"About what you said, about what we see in each other." your thought was interrupted by a long yawn. "What should we do about this?" You made to get up, but the IV attached seemed to transmit drowsiness straight to your body. Your eyes were already starting to get heavy.
"That we can deal with this later. You took care of me, now it's my duty to take care of you. For that, you need to rest." His hands reached yours, giving a slight laugh when he saw you fighting with your own eyes, wanting to leave them open. "I promise not to hurt you again or let anyone else hurt you."
Before you fall asleep for good, you can feel his lips on your hand.
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worldlxvlys · 2 months
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OMG PART 2 of “one of the girls” PLS OMG maybe a more angsty to fluff between them
deeper (one of the girls pt 2)
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fwb! chris x reader
warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of sex
a/n: you definitely asked for angst and fluff and i definitely only gave you angst
sorry 😬
but i swear on everything the next part will be fluffy, i just needed to lay the groundwork 🙏🏾
previous part
“look, it’s fine chris. you’re just shitty at aftercare.” she spoke from her spot across from me on her bed.
we somehow had managed to go from talking about how our days went to sex.
“what are you talking about?” i asked, confused.
“i mean, in what world is you fucking me and dipping to go fuck someone else considered taking care of me?” she pointed out.
my face dropped at her words, “i- i don’t do that every time though, it’s happened a few times, but-“ she cut me off with a scoff, “that’s the thing, you do it every time, without fail. you just- you finish, you make sure i finish, and you leave” she shrugged it off, but it obviously hurt her to say.
“i mean, what kind of a friend treats someone that way? it’s like, hey ok! i finished using you for what i needed, gotta go do the exact same thing to the next girl! you don’t see how fucked that is? you don’t get how that would completely fuck with my head ?” she asked.
“i mean at first, it wasn’t like that. i didn’t care, i thought maybe you’d stop at some point. but after months of you doing this shit, i can’t act like it doesn’t affect me anymore”
i blinked at her, only now realizing what i was doing to her.
“and it’s not like i caught feelings and am in love with you or something, you can be with other people, i don’t care. but- i mean, right after me? the second your dick gets soft you go somewhere else to get hard again? like, am i that bad, or…?”
no, no, no. there’s no way this is happening right now.
there’s no way i’ve managed to do this.
what the fuck was i thinking? what was wrong with me?
“hey, listen. this has nothing to do with you not being good enough, ok? i’m so sorry, i never meant to hurt you at all, i need you to know that. you deserve better than how i’ve treated you, i know. i guess i was just scared-”
“scared? scared of me?” she asked in a low voice, her face clearly showing how hurt she was.
my eyes widened at that, how the hell am i managing to make this worse?
“what?” i asked, desperately trying to think of how to calm her down.
“is this about the whole liking pain while we’re having sex thing? because if you can’t handle that-” i brought my hand up to her face to cup her cheek, making her stop talking and stare at me with wide eyes.
“it’s not that, ok? i told you i’d never judge you for that and i meant it. there’s nothing wrong with liking that stuff, i personally find it makes you even more attractive”
“so, if not that, then what? what are you running from?” she whispered to me.
my feelings for you.
the second i realized that i was beginning to care about her in a different way, i started seeing other people.
i tried desperately to distract myself from her, praying that being with someone else would help.
the first time, it worked. until the next time we had sex, and i remembered everything that i loved about her.
i was overwhelmed by her, everything about her drove me crazy.
her body, her soft skin, her scent, the way she tasted, the way she moaned and screamed under me.
my senses were filled with her.
i assumed it was just physical attraction, which is why i tried looking for someone who could replace that.
but who was i kidding? no one could replace her.
and even if they could, i realized that it was deeper than the sex as i was staring at her now.
it was that beautiful smile that i was missing now while i stared at the sad look that i put on her face.
it was that look she had on her face when she wanted to laugh, but was trying desperately to hold it in as i made faces at her from across the room.
it was the amount of passion and dedication she put into the things she cared at about.
it was the deep connection that we shared when i stared into her eyes, my fear of intimacy somehow leaving my body when it was with her.
it was her.
it was always her.
and me? i was royally fucked.
🥀🥀🥀🥀
not too much on chris he’s about to eat in the next part (literally)
i may or may not have already written the next part to this 🌚
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @mattsnymphette @leah-loves-lilies @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07
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greatooglymooglyyy · 3 months
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Spaces (Matt Sturniolo)
contains: angst, a not-so-happy ending, cheating allegations, general frustration, verbal argument, 800+ words
a/n: y'all this will be a two parter so stay tuned. love ya!
“And you have to go tonight?” I shift my phone to my other ear, trying to keep my tone neutral.
“Yeah, baby. It’s a last-minute collab. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” Matt says, his voice fading in and out of clarity as he shuffles through his room grabbing clothes.
“No, I mean, it’s fine. I just thought we’d-”
“Sorry, hold on. Nick! I swear to god, if you still have my sweater, I’m gonna kill you.” Matt yells up the stairs. I pull the phone away from my ear and count to five. I’m trying to stick to my plan and not be a problem but this kid is making it hard. I call Matt’s name twice but, when he doesn’t answer, text him that I’ll talk to him later and hang up.
It makes no sense that him canceling our date tonight is bothering me so much, but I can’t help it. It’s really starting to feel like our lives are running parallel to each other and I don’t know how to get them to connect. I have only seen him in person twice in the last three weeks and this is the fourth time this month that he’s cancelled on me. I’m doing my best not to take it personally; of course, he’s busy. But, don’t people make time for what they want? Am I still what he wants?
I run my hand over my face and try to shake it off. I think about calling my best friend but I doubt Nick will give me any good advice about his brother. God, I gotta get more friends.
I flop onto my bed face down and do one of those movie screams into my pillow to see if it makes me feel better. Huh. Surprisingly effective. My phone dings and I glance over at it:
Matty B🧊:
Call you as soon as I land. Love you
Yeah if he doesn’t have 80 more important things to do. I roll over and close my eyes. Maybe after a nap, I won’t feel so jaded.
*************************************
I wake up to the sun rising in a panic, sure that I must have missed Matt’s call. But, nope. Instead, it's my TikTok that’s going crazy with over 100 people tagging me in some video. I take a deep sigh before clicking it, already knowing it can’t be good. The video is of Matt and a pretty TikTok girl whose name I can’t remember. They’re at some party and standing a little closer than I'd like. The video is quick, only maybe 4 or 5 seconds, and there’s nothing super incriminating. The way they are tagging me and going off on him in these comments, you’d think he was fucking her in the middle of the dance floor.
I exit the app and go to call Matt before I stop myself. Okay, maybe the video isn’t that crazy. But not calling when you said you were and then going to a party instead AND having the internet blowing my phone up? That’s beyond me. If Matt wants to talk, he’s gonna call me first.
I get up and head to my shower, deciding to reach out to my coworker and see if she’ll have breakfast with me.
*************************************
“So you think he’s cheating?” Kayla asks, reaching over to give my phone back.
“Nah. If I thought that, please know I’d be on a flight getting ready to cause mayhem.” I laugh. “I just want to know that he’s still in this like I am.”
“I get that.” She says with a sigh, resting her face on her palm. “Y’all need better communication.”
Just as I’m about to agree, my phone goes off. Guess Matt’s awake. I reach down and click the side button to silence it. I’ll call him back later.
“Anyway, what’s up with you and that strawberry guy?”
“Girllllllll…”
When we are done eating, we part ways making plans to meet up again next week. I finally check my phone again and my eyes widen at the amount of times the triplets have collectively called me. Nick alone has Facetimed me 13 times. “What the fuck?” I mutter under my breath before I click Matt’s name.
He answers quickly, his voice rushed. “Whatever you think I did, it’s not fucking true.”
“Um, whatever happened to hi, how are you-”
“I’m deadass serious.” He cuts me off, his tone sharp.
“Oh okay. So you didn’t blow off calling me to go to a party?” I say, making my tone just as lethal. “And you didn’t have the internet blowing my fucking phone up this morning?”
“If you honestly think-”
“That you are that stupid? Matt. I’m not that insecure. But, I don’t appreciate the way you’re handling me at all. And I promise you if you keep it up, you’re gonna lose me.” I end the call and toss my phone back into my jacket pocket, heading back to my car.
a/n: part two out now
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futureman · 11 months
Text
his favorite girl, part i
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
summary: joel agrees to teach you how to play guitar for a college course, but you can't keep your eyes off him long enough to learn. he really likes that.
warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, guitar teacher!joel, no outbreak, big age gap (reader’s 22, joel’s 56), slow-burn, sexual tension, finger kink, slight dubcon, touching, smut for later chapters, some fluff, mostly angst
word count: 3.3k
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a/n: my first chaptered fic! dedicated to joel's fingers! i've been playing guitar a lot more lately so...yeah 🥲 thinking this'll probably be 3 or 4 chapters? as always, thoughts and feedback are always appreciated! hope y'all enjoyy
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Don’t stare at his fingers. Don’t stare at his fingers. He’s doing you a huge favor by teaching you to play guitar in the first place. The least you can do is pay attention and stop staring at his fingers. 
But it’s a lost cause, and you know it, because you’d have no hope of learning without staring at his fingers. 
Even so, you’re convinced he’ll somehow know that’s not the real reason you’re watching them so intently. The way they hop gracefully from fret to fret, strings biting into his well-earned calluses, producing the most beautiful chords that ring out perfectly with every strum. 
It’s a wonder any of that is even possible for him. You don’t mean to knock his talent—he obviously honed his craft through decades of fine-tuning and dedicated practice—but his fingers are just so thick.
With your clumsy, beginner’s touch, you’re constantly fumbling with the strings, unable to press down hard enough or keep your other fingers out of the way for them to vibrate the way they need to. They just sort of…fizzle.
But there’s a finesse to how he plays. It also helps that his guitar is a lot bigger than yours. It's a totally innocuous thought, but it still warms your cheeks a little. A big guitar for a big man. Broad and tall, with those thick, thick fingers—
“Hey, you still with me?” 
You’re not sure when he stopped playing, but you really hope it was right before he said something. Otherwise, he definitely knows exactly what you were thinking about, and that would be humiliating. 
Not a great start to your first guitar lesson, but how were you supposed to know your teacher was going to look like that? When your music theory professor recommended him, he conveniently left that part out, which, whatever, makes sense. But it still would’ve been helpful to know ahead of time.
Joel Miller. 56 years old. Has a ton of experience and takes on very few students, so you should consider yourself lucky. That’s all of the information you were given before you stepped into his house this afternoon, and were greeted by possibly the hottest man you’ve ever seen. He was supposed to be your ticket to an A on your senior thesis. But you’re totally flubbing it.
“Y-yeah, sorry, just got a little distracted,” you laugh awkwardly, wishing you had said anything else but that. You couldn't be any more obvious if you tried. “Won’t happen again, promise.” 
He’s kind enough to pretend you’re not a filthy liar and taps the neck of his guitar to redirect your focus. “S’alright. We’ll just take it from the top. You remember the fingerin' for the first chord?”
You gape at him dumbly for a second. He’s kidding, right? You might as well leave now if he’s going to keep saying fingering with that devastating Southern drawl of his. 
“Um, yeah, I think so,” you sputter, lying for the second time in a row. You're struggling to recall anything from your lesson but, god, you can only remember his fingers, not their placement. With no confidence whatsoever, you press your fingertips down firmly on the three strings you think he showed you. “Here, right?” 
He quirks a brow. “You askin’ me or tellin’ me?” 
Ah, so he’s that kind of teacher. The 'learn the hard way', 'fail on your own until you succeed' type. Well, he’s about to learn that you’re not that kind of student.
“…Telling?” Your voice lilts with even less confidence. He chuckles, nodding at your finger placement.
“Let’s hear it, then,” he says expectantly, the slightest hint of a smile on his face. You can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but you’re about to find out. You strum slowly, and the sound reverberates around the room. 
Wrong. 
His smile widens just a fraction as you grimace, quickly wrapping your hand around the neck of the guitar to stop the horrible noises still playing from it. You look over at him, wincing, but he doesn’t seem frustrated. If anything, he seems patient.
“Not quite,” he shakes his head, moving his instrument out of his lap so he can shift closer to where you’re sitting further down the couch. The cushion dips with his weight, and you tip into him slightly, but he remains completely unfazed. “Lemme show you again—and pay attention this time, alright?”
You start to nod apologetically, but then he throws an arm behind you on the back of the couch, and all hope of retaining whatever he’s about to teach you goes out the window. Instead of showing you on his own guitar, he gestures for you to hold yours up, gently arranging your fingers on the frets.
His fingertips whisper against yours like he’s hesitant to touch you, softly tugging them into place before pressing down, showing you the right amount of pressure to apply. 
They feel just as warm and rough as you’d imagined, dwarfing yours by a long shot, and the realization makes your fingers accidentally twitch out of place. Your eyes dart up to gauge his reaction and lock with his, deep and brown, and very amused. 
“Doin’ alright there?” he teases, and now you know he’s on to you. You try to play it off, blaming it on your inexperience.
“Just haven't gotten used to using those muscles yet," you mumble, moving your hand away from his to flex your fingers. "Not sure I've ever had to stretch them like that before."
 "'m sure ya have. Probably just didn't realize it at the time. That kinda muscle soreness comes from prolonged repetition—repeatin' an action over 'n over," he explains in that syrupy-sweet accent, completely unaware of how his words are affecting you. "Bet ya use those fingers for a lot'a different things every day, just nothin' long or strenuous enough to leave you achin'."
You bite your lip to keep from reacting. He has to know what he's doing right now. How he sounds. This conversation is starting to veer into dangerous territory, but the weird thing about it is that he genuinely doesn't seem to realize that everything he's saying has a double meaning. To you, at least. You knew all this fingering talk was going to get you into trouble. 
"Uhh, yeah," you agree, side-stepping that line of thought to bring yourself back to the lesson, but it's getting harder to stay focused. "I guess I just thought playing would mostly be memorization, but there's a lot of physicality to it, too, huh?" 
"Yeah, s'pose that's true," he muses, looking down at the calluses on his own hand. This time you refuse to take the bait, your breathing already too shallow, heart nearly pounding out of your chest with how close he's sitting. But he’s still completely calm and collected. "Your hand hurtin' a lot right now?"
You shrug, inspecting your reddening fingertips. "Kinda, yeah."
"It's like that in the beginnin’," he says kindly. "But the more ya play, the tougher the skin gets, and ya won't feel it as much." 
He surprises you by taking your hand again, massaging the tender skin between his thumb and index fingers. God, that feels so much better already. The heat of his fingertips seeps into yours, soothing the painful indents left by the unforgiving strings, and you let out a breathy sigh of relief. 
You feel his entire body tense palpably next to you. It might be your imagination or just wishful thinking, but you swear you can feel his warmth radiating into your side, somehow even closer than before. Your brain’s starting to fizzle more than the sound of your shitty guitar playing, and the room feels a little hotter. Hazier, like a daydream.
"That feel good?" he murmurs, lips practically brushing the shell of your ear.
Definitely closer.
“Y-yeah, feels nice…really nice,” you stutter, voice lowering almost to a whisper as if you were sharing a secret. “The, um—the rest of my hand is a little sore, too. Is that normal?”
You can feel him grinning at your obvious attempt to get him to keep touching you, and he gives in easily. Surprisingly so, and it's becoming clearer that he's as into whatever's happening right now as you are. You’re not sure what happened to the unfazed man from before, but you’ll happily welcome this change in demeanor.
“Yeah, s’normal,” he trails down to your palm, engulfing your hand with his own. “Don’t worry, I'll take care of ya.”
Your eyes flutter closed as his thigh presses into yours, and the arm behind you lowers around your shoulders, his hand skimming the side of your neck. Shit, what is going on? You’re pretty sure guitar lessons don’t usually go like this, but you can’t bring yourself to dwell on it. Not when he feels this good.
Everywhere his skin touches yours feels electric, sending jolts up your spine, and making you forget where you are and what you were doing in the first place. He ducks down to press his lips to your bare shoulder, and your mind goes completely blank. 
All that's left is...sensation. Something dragging roughly across your skin, then soft—a little chapped—and wet. Sharp. You're abruptly aware of him sucking a hard bruise at the crook of your neck, soothing the sting with his tongue, and you're unable to stop the whimper that escapes your lips. It's soft and inappropriate. A single, hushed syllable.
"Joel."
He lets out a pained groan that rumbles from deep within his chest, and the hand around yours tenses. That boundless patience he had earlier feels like it's about to run out, and the thought makes your blood run hot. 
God, how is he real? How is this real? You just met this man—this much, much older man—less than an hour ago, and, yet, this is probably the hottest thing that’s ever happened to you. He continues to mouth up your neck, nipping at the underside of your jaw.
"What else hurts? Tell me, 'n I'll make it better," he mutters humidly, urgently against your skin. 
You want to tell him where it hurts the most. That unbearable ache between your legs, the burning in your belly that you didn't even realize he was stoking. But you're so wound up, all you can manage is a frustrated sob.
"Use your words, beautiful. C'mon, lemme hear 'em," he says as if you're his instrument, meant to produce dulcet tones and resonate at his hand.
"It—fuck...it—here," you drag the hand clutching yours down, next to where the body of your guitar rests on your thigh. Where you've already soaked through the thin fabric of your pants. "Joel...need you to make it better."
The gentle vibrato of your voice, the way it shakes tumultuously around his name, and even more so when he cups your heat. His lips return to your throat to feel it, to taste it as you moan for him. And those fingers. You knew they’d feel good, and they’re so close to where you need them. Just a little bit more—but there’s still too many layers between you and his rough touch. 
“M-more…need more, just—,” you whine, and he mirrors the sound back at you raggedly.
“‘Course, beautiful. Told you I’d take care of ya, didn’t I? 
You're too far gone to even notice yourself desperately grinding into the palm of his hand, or the fingers at your cheek turning your face toward his. 
Or your guitar quickly slipping out of your lap, more and more with each swivel of your hips. It hits the carpet with a hollow clang and, suddenly, the spell is broken. Then, it all comes crashing back. 
He’s saying your name, but he sounds...different. Less breathy, less needy, and more like your patient, collected guitar teacher. Joel Miller. 56 years old, remember? Way too old for you, for your body to be reacting to him like this, and the man whose help you still desperately need to help complete your thesis.
Your eyes snap open and you realize with abject horror that you’ve been daydreaming this entire time. You can’t even imagine how long he’s been trying to get your attention while you’ve just been sitting here, fantasizing about his hands on you. 
Not even ten minutes ago, you promised you wouldn’t get distracted, but you did. Again. And so much worse this time.
By his furrowed brow and the way he won’t even look at you, you must have accidentally said something out loud, too. Something totally inappropriate that you really shouldn’t have. But then, his hand twitches and your blood turns to ice. 
That—fuck, that's not where it was before you zoned out. It was still on yours, arranging your fingers on the frets for the chord he was teaching you. He…he was asking about your hand, if it hurt, and then—
As if you’ve been burned, you quickly release his hand from where you’re clutching it between your legs—not just in your daydream, but in horrifying actuality. You’re screwed. 
Not only is he probably going to kick you out of his house and refuse to be your teacher anymore, but he’ll likely tell your professor. And he’d have every right to. There’s no way you’ll be able to get anyone else to teach you after this.
The reason you’re here, everything you’ve worked so hard for, flashes before your eyes, catching fire and turning to ash. Your love for music, your degree—in the span of a single guitar lesson, you destroyed all of it.
And what would he think? Your father, your inspiration for choosing this path. He’d be so disappointed in you, though maybe not as much as you are right now. 
All of this for what? The attractive, middle-aged guitar teacher you’ve known for less than an hour? He doesn’t even want you and, even if he did, that’s not what you came here for. Stupid, stupid. 
You can feel his eyes on you, but you can’t bear to look at him, to say anything at all. Instead, you lean down to retrieve your guitar from where it still lies face down on the floor, and slowly stand up. 
“I, uh…,” you croak out, fighting the urge to cry and look like even more of an idiot. You shake your head, unable to finish your sentence, and start to walk away, but then something miraculous happens.
Joel’s hand shoots out, his fingers wrapping around your wrist to keep you from leaving. You turn back to him, eyebrows raised in shock, dropping your gaze to where his skin is touching yours. He doesn't let go. 
“Look—,” he starts, and you wince. It’s never a good sign when someone starts a sentence like that. If all he’s trying to do is let you down easy, he shouldn’t have stopped you. He’s just shaming you even further. “—‘m not too sure what just happened here, but if you just—if ya sit back down, we can talk about it or…just keep goin’ with the lesson…”
You didn’t see that one coming. 
“You want me to stay?” you ask dubiously. “Why?”
You search his eyes for the answers to all of the things you’re not understanding, but come up with nothing. He’s sitting on the couch watching you, still holding your hand like nothing’s wrong. Acting like none of this is a big deal, as if you didn’t basically just shove his hand down your pants without his consent.
“Still got a lot to teach ya. We didn’t even get through the first line of music,” he chuckles, his voice filled with such kindness. So much more than you deserve. 
“Yeah, and that’s my fault. I—,” you pause, still trying to gather your thoughts, “—I crossed a line…made you uncomfortable. You really don’t have to do this.”
He sighs, rubbing his thumb soothingly into your wrist, and the gesture makes you shiver. Somehow it’s calming, even as the gears continue to turn in your head. You still can’t seem to grasp any of this or shake the feeling that there’s something wrong with this picture. 
“Well, isn’t this supposed to be a favor for some big, important grade? Don’t ya need this to pass your class?”
He’s not wrong. Without his help, you’re basically fucked for the rest of the semester.
“Yeah, I...actually really do,” you answer hesitantly.
Hope blooms in your chest. Maybe your thesis isn’t totally lost. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll even be able to focus on your lessons.
“I think we can keep this professional. Don’t you?” he implores, brows raised.
He’s right again. That’s the only way this is going to work, but it’s still a reminder that he’s not interested in you in the slightest. You’re not sure why that feels so bad.
“Totally,” you breathe out, but your expression must betray your words because he rushes to reassure you.
“It’s not that I—look, I mean…you’re a beautiful girl ‘n all, but…,” he trails off, and…what?
Beautiful. He can’t have just said that out of the blue. Beautiful, of all the words he could’ve used to describe you right then. This man is driving you crazy—and he won’t stop.
“Can’t help feelin’ like maybe I gave ya the wrong impression. I took advantage of ya,” he looks away, pained, like this was all his fault. You have no idea how he came to that conclusion, but he’s got it all wrong.
“What—no. No, if anything, I took advantage of you. You were just trying to be a good teacher,” you shake your head furiously. “Look, I did this. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t pull away, now, did I?” 
His eyes meet yours again, darker than before, and you know for a fact you’re not making it up this time. The setting sun is casting shadows around his living room, across his 80s-style leather couch and carpet, illuminating every one of his handsome features. 
And, yet, his eyes are black, endless voids that threaten to consume you. Whatever power he has over you feels dangerous. You knew you couldn’t have imagined it all. 
But it's gone as quickly as it came. He clears his throat, dropping your wrist as if he finally came to his senses. Your patient, unaffected guitar teacher is back.
“I, uh, think maybe that about wraps it up for today,” he says with finality, standing up. “It's already eight, anyhow. You should head on home.”
Gently plucking the guitar from your hands, he zips it up in its case and gives it back to you. You nod, feeling grateful, but cautious...and also extremely curious. His hand finds the small of your back, leading you to the front door, and you try your best not to react as his fingers urge you forward. 
You know you’ll be thinking about them later tonight, even though you really shouldn’t. About them finishing what you started earlier, taking care of you like you still want him to. Part of you hopes he’ll be thinking about yours, too. 
His hand drops and he turns to you with a small smile, leaning on his arm against the doorframe. 
"But, uh, same time tomorrow? And maybe put in a little practice time before then—stretch out those fingers so you're ready to play."
“Sure,” you reply breathily. “Same time tomorrow.”
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thanks for reading! part ii coming soon 🥰
(p.s. how are we feeling about finger sucking...okay bye)
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f1version · 1 year
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MY PERSON ★ CL16
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pairing: charles leclerc x no-socials!reader
summary: Charles posts an update on your relationship with a beautiful message.
note: a little something that might cease the possible heartbreak of the race or might be a celebration for all tifosi.
kind of part two here
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charlesleclerc
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Liked by pierregasly, landonorris and 1,718,569 others
charlesleclerc Today I made the most important and easiest decision of my life. That beautiful woman in the pictures is Y/n Y/l/n, soon to be Y/n Y/l/n-Leclerc, you may not know about her a lot since she prefers to keep a lower profile, but i’m so glad I have the privilege to know her. And now to love her for the rest of our lives.
Y/n you’re the love of my life. I don't know how many times I'll have to tell you how in love with you and how much you mean to me for it to be enough. It’ll never be enough, at least for me. You are my happiness, you are sunshine and midnight rain.
Mon amour, you and I know love is about finding the person who completes what you are missing, loves what you share, stays during hard times, and celebrates the good ones. Y/n, ten months ago, when I started planing my proposal, I realized that you were that person for me because of a question Pierre asked me: Does she make you a better version of yourself, one you ever dreamed you could be? And I could only say yes. Just looking into your eyes, I understand how you feel, looking into your eyes I see you, i’m in love with you. You are my soulmate, my person.
Mon coeur est bien,
Charles.
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arthur_leclerc I have a new favorite family member
charlesleclerc i love you too or whatever
pierregasly my biggest flex: I played a crucial role into this, charles is too stupid
pierregasly imagine if the ring fell onto the snow
andferrari007 it did
charlesleclerc please don’t remind me that
danielricciardo If you mess up i will unalive you, and then y/n and i will marry as the best friends we are 🫡
charlesleclerc HAHA no
danielricciardo you will see
maxverstappen1 charles run
landonorris CHARLES YOU DID IT AAAAHHHHHH
charlesleclerc I DID IT
carlossainz55 Felicidades!! ❤️
charlesleclerc Gracias, Carlos❤️
lewishamilton You’ll be the happiest, I know it 💙
charlesleclerc ❤️❤️
sebastianvettel Congrats, Charles and Y/n! Hoping you have a wonderful marriage and life together.❤️
charlesleclerc Thank you, Seb! Love you.
joris__trouche Photos by me y’all, I was there to watch Charles almost piss himself!!!!
charlesleclerc SHUT UP I WAS FULLY CONFIDENT
joris__trouche sure mate, at least hope one kid is named after me 😔
charlesleclerc I don’t enjoy Joris Leclerc
arthur_leclerc what about Arthur Leclerc
charlesleclerc not calling them after you 😐
maxverstappen1 I have a better one ✨Max Leclerc✨
charlesleclerc please never say that again
pierregasly pierre leclerc
charlesleclerc STOP
Your head rests on Charles’ shoulders, he scrolls through the comments of your family, friends, loved ones, and Charles’ colleagues. He laughs at the discussion about his future child’s name, his dimples showing perfectly.
“Have you imagined that?” The brown-haired man spoke out of nowhere, turning down to look you in the eyes.
“Imagine what, Charlie?” You reply, needing slight confirmation of what he is referring to.
"Children, a family... you know, the whole future after this happens" the green-eyed continued, pointing at the ring on your finger at the end, making you blush quickly.
“Of course, I have, mon chéri, you?”
"More than once, ange, I want everything with you" He answers sweetly. Charles was so in love with you since he asked you to be his girlfriend, he hadn’t imagined a future without you. He imagined you and him, traveling the world, a beautiful, healthy family, and him and you fulfilling your dreams together. You were all reasons he had to smile on the darkest days.
You, on her side, looked at your fiancé, curious and somewhat captivated by him. Charles’ look made you feel, so in love, you might burst. You felt confident with your decisions, and with your life.
About ten months ago, when Charles and you were at the Italian GP, Charles said he loved you, he said those two words, and you echoed him. You were completely sure you loved him. But when it came to "I'm in love with you" it was a long process, you didn’t play with those words.
I love you meant a promise only you could give, only you could get for him. It meant: I want you to be happy. But I'm in love with you meant that promise would be kept even if it wasn’t with you, it was giving your heart forever. It meant: I want you to be happy, even without me.
It may seem like a ridiculous concept to some people, they are words, but words are the source of expression the majority of humans possess.
They say that actions are worth a thousand words, however, it’s never suggested words are not valuable, or everlasting.
For you, they were everlasting, once you said them there was no going back. Two years later after the ‘i love you’ Charles said to be in love with you. But it was not your time, and Charles didn’t mind waiting for you to be ready.
And when you were ready, it was perfect.
You were at home in Monaco that day. During sunrise, you and Charles made love as if the world was ending; by morning you went hiking, and while being on top of the world, you realized. You realized you didn't care if you ended up heartbroken, you were ready to put the past and future aside and just live in the present.
“Charles,” You said that day, he looked at you so deeply, waiting. “I'm in love with you.”
He kissed you after that, just like he was kissing you now after you said the same thing, the difference being the place, and the fact that you had an engagement ring on your finger.
“Thanks for choosing me.” The Monegasque whisper. He kept kissing you, bringing you closer to him, showing you with actions how much he appreciated your existence.
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mintaikcorpse · 2 months
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Why Blitzø Likes Stolas
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I've made jokes about Blitzø liking Stolas bcuz his type is tall, rich, powerful demons with musical talent, and that's probably kinda true, but I wanna talk about the real reasons Blitzø likes Stolas. Tldr at the end.
I think one of the major reasons Blitzø likes Stolas is how kind, sincere, and affectionate he is. Stolas is always making sure he is okay and is very passionate about litterally everything he does (dramatic little bitch, lol). And while he's ignorant ("my impish little plaything"???), he does mean well. Taking Octavia to Looloo Land to make her feel better, Going full demon mode to save IMP, his attentiveness to Blitzø during his mental breakdown in Seeing Stars, him absolutely adoring Octavia, him helping Ozzie when he gained no real benefit, etc, etc.
Also, expanding more on the affectionate part, Blitzø is shown to not get much affection or love in his life at all. His family situation was a giant mess (his dad literally sold him for 5 bucks and a condom Jesus Christ-), and Stolas is a very loving and affectionate person. Obviously, this is shown with Blitzø, but also with Octavia ('my precious little starfire', always staying patient with Via, even if he can be a bit dismissive, going full demon mode when Blitzø said he lost Via), and even his plants (he raised the flesh-eating plant since he was a kid, he pets the plant, on his insta he called a puprle rose "a handsome little rose"). And yeah, he's going to be affectione with Via, that's his daughter, but in Hell, (or maybe just from Blitzø's perspective, it'a hard to tell honestly) that's shown to be a rarity. So obviously, he's going to admire that about him.
And also, compare that to Blitzø's life. His dad saw him as less than, something happened that made his sister hate him, his mom seemed to be a good parent, but she's dead, his best friend and former crush hated his guts for 15 years, his daughter does care about him but she also mostly just shows anger and annoyance with him, and even Moxxie, who'd I'd argue is his best friend, gets annoyed with him constantly (I would too tbh but this isn't about that). Stolas just being his loving and affectionate self and being so happy to see him and always being so sweet to Blitzø is like a breath of fresh air to him.
Another thing is that Stolas shows clear interest in the things he likes. Take horses as example, bcuz we all know Blitzø is obsessed with them. Most of the time, his friends are pretty passive about it, but Stolas actually indulges him. Some of this is from their instas, but Stolas got him a horse Hoodie, he draws horses with him, and Stolas even got inspired to draw because of Blitzø.
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(Also, plz note that in another post he commented that it smells like Stolas, and I want everyone to appreciate how happy he looks in this photo while smelling it again)
Blitzø probably admires Stolas's theatrics as well because despite growing up in a Circus where you were supposed to be dramatic and showy, he was still always taught to ignore or hide his true emotions (Cash ignoring that he didn't want to go to the Goetia Palace because "MONEY"). And while Stolas was raised the same way, he still wears his heart and emotions on his sleeve and is always showing them, whether it be positive or negative
And we all know thst Blitzø has major self hatred issues, but Stolas was genuinely interested in Blitzø as a person. Laughing at his jokes, asking how his day went, and with all of this, you can't help but wonder if Blitzø was figuring out that he did too. I think that's why he was so heartbroken about Ozzie's. Because to him, Stolas hiding his face was just proof that Stolas didn't care. That he was just a little plaything. But, Blitzø liked that Stolas liked him for who he was, and that he didn't have to pretend to be someone different.
Yes, ik Blitzø wasn't here for some of them, and he thinks that Stolas is just faking all of this. BUT, Blitzø can notice things subconsciously, and the stuff that Blitzø wasn't there for was to talk about Stolas's character as well. That's why I wanted to talk about this, to talk about what Blitzø sees in Stolas and his character.
Feel free to add anything if you want! I'd love to hear your guy's opinions, takes, and thoughts on the ship. I'm probably gonna a make a post on why Stolas likes Blitzø at some point, lol
Tldr; Blitzø likes Stolas because he's kind, sincere, loving, affectionate, passionate, caring, dramatic, and likes Blitzø for who he is.
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weasleykisses · 5 months
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You’re So Pretty I (Remus Lupin x Reader)
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(GIF not mine)
A/N: Remus and you very clearly like each other, however, hes convinced you have a crush on a mutual best friend. Friend-to-lovers, fem!oblivious!reader, jealous!Remus, mutual pining
Loosely influenced by the song “ur so pretty” by Wasia Project.
word count: 3.9k
________
“Going on another study date, Y/N?” Marlene asked as she watched her dorm mate gather up her books and a couple scrolls into her bag. Y/N rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Don’t lie to yourself. You aren’t just going to study.”
“As a matter of fact, I am going to just study.”
The blonde haired girl wasn’t the only one that pestered Y/N about her crush. Despite never admitting to it directly, her friends ganged up on her and joked about it fairly often. “You won’t learn anything from drooling over Lupin the whole time,” Marlene laughed.
“I do not drool over Remus. He’s just a good study partner.”
“Whatever you say.”
She finished packing her bag and making sure her uniform was straight. Her hands slid down her skirt to smooth it out and through her hair as she looked into the standing mirror. Wanting to look presentable did not mean she was trying to impress him. Definitely not. She just didn’t want to look unkempt, is all.
When she was confident she didn’t look like she just rolled out of bed, she turned to leave her dorm and head to the library. She waved to Marlene who made a heart shape with her hands jokingly. After so long, she’d gotten used to the teasing though, just dismissing her with a ‘tsk’.
She left the common room without another confrontation by one of her friends, walking leisurely to the library where her transfiguration textbook waited. She was never the best in transfiguration, or charms, or defense against the dark arts; truthfully she wasn’t very good at anything most people would would consider important. Her saving grace was care for magical creatures.
Sometimes she felt herself grow so embarrassed by her lack of skill, but Remus never made fun of her for it. He helped her fix the issue, and she was grateful to him for that. He was probably the only reason she passed her classes the past few years.
Kids bustled around the halls and the stairways as she walked through the castle. The sound of her feet clicking on the marble floors kept her occupied as she walked through the familiar walkways. She listened in on some conversations as she passed by, eavesdropping when she shouldn’t.
The only other thing on her mind was her study partner, who she found herself growing awfully attached to over their years at Hogwarts. Now that they were in their seventh year, she occasionally felt herself completely consumed by her crush on him, which she quickly tried to correct by thinking of something else.
It wasn’t that she wanted to smother down her crush on the boy, she just didn’t want it to take over her life. It would never happen, and the inevitable rejection would destroy her. It was normal for her to not get her hopes up, terrified of being disappointed in the end.
Sometimes, she just wanted to forget about him and fancy someone actually obtainable. Someone like the hoard of boys that confessed to her over the years, bringing her flowers and candy and sweet love notes. Only she didn’t like them and couldn’t bring herself to pretend. Her friends asked why she never accepted any of the propositions, to which she would just say she was waiting for someone specific.
Eventually some of her friends figured out who she liked. At first it was Lily, and then the rest of the girls followed suit after seeing her interact with the tall boy enough times. She suspected that Sirius knew as well, knowing how perceptive he was. He would send her some suggestive looks now and again when Remus wasn’t looking, which she just ignored for the most part.
Still, no matter how hard she fought it, she fell deeper and deeper into her infatuation with Remus Lupin. She thought he was the most handsome, smart, kind boy she’d ever met. He was just perfect in her eyes. He could do no wrong.
And so, she found herself drowning in her feelings for the boy. Honestly, it was difficult to keep afloat. To be around him and pretend she just wanted to be a friend. To pretend she didn’t want to cuddle him when they sat on the couch together. To pretend she didn’t want to kiss him every time he smiled her way.
Before entering the library, she took a deep breath and smoothed down her hair once more. Confident in her ability to socialize with him without completely falling apart, she pushed open the heavy wood door and into the large room filled with whispering voices and floating textbooks.
Remus sat in their normal spot towards the corner where not a lot of people crowded around. It was quieter, and he preferred that. For Y/N, she was just happy to get more one on one time with him. The other marauders wouldn’t step foot in the library so she didn’t worry about them. Lily maintained her distance when she was studying. She wanted to give the pair some “private time”, as she had said once when teasing her friend.
“Hey, Rem,” she quietly greeted him, giving him a small wave. He peered up from the novel he was reading, giving her a warm smile back. It was adorable. Everything he did was adorable, really.
She took a seat beside him, setting her bag to the side. She pulled out her transfiguration textbook. He was particularly good in this subject, so this would be easier than something like Charms.
“How are you?” He asked.
“I’m fine. How was your day?”
“It was okay. The guys are planning a new prank for tomorrow so they’ve been pestering me about that,” he told her, and she nodded. He loved their pranks secretly, not wanting to come across as immature. Not to mention, James could be a little overwhelming. Especially when he spent the nights with Sirius planning, keeping the other two boys awake.
She grinned brightly. “Oh really? What are they gonna do?” She loved pranks, as long as they weren’t directed towards her. They were an escape from the strictness of the school, not to mention a relief when certain Slytherin were involved.
“Stink bombs in the Slytherin locker room. Nothing fancy.”
“Sounds exciting.”
“I suppose.”
Her eyes trailed down the book that was sitting in his lap now. To get a better look, she leaned closer to him and tried to read the upside text. “What are you reading today?” It was normal that they exchanged books after reading it, that way they could discuss the novels together once they were both done.
“Shakespeare.”
Her eyes widened and she urged him on, “What play?”
“Midsummer’s Night Dream.”
“That’s my favorite! I'm so glad you’re reading it,” she told him happily, clapping her hands together from excitement. As a muggle born witch, she loved when her friends experienced a bit of her world. Shakespeare was just a taste. He’d read a couple other muggle books before, but mainly it was novels by famous wizards and witches.
He smiled, tucking the book into his own bag. “I know. That’s why I picked it.”
“You remembered! I’m excited to talk to you about it when you’re done.” He had to look away from her face. She was so beautiful when she got excited, it made him want to swoop in and give her a thousand little kisses. Of course, he wasn’t insane, so he wasn’t going to do that. He was always looking at her, catching glimpses of her captivating smile and her sparkling eyes. When she looked away, he peered over at her and just watched, regardless of where they were. In class, while studying, in the common rooms. He couldn’t help but stare.
It wasn’t a coincidence he picked her favorite play. He wanted to see her get all giddy because of their two person book club. Anything to see her happy. It seemed he had successfully achieved that, too.
“So what did you need help with?”
“Well, I’m not quite sure. I’m doing well in all my classes right now. Probably because of you, but still,” she told him. Honestly, she never really wanted to study, it was just her way of hanging out with Remus for a while. “Do you want to do something else other than sit in here?” Y/N asked, a bit nervous he might say no.
He leaned on his elbow, cheek pressed to his palm. “Depends. What do you have in mind?” He asked, even though he knew he’d say yes to basically anything she could ask. She could ask him to join her in the broom closet for a snog and he would agree.
She thought for a moment, tapping a finger on her lips as she pondered what they could do. There wasn’t anything she desperately needed done, and it wasn’t close to dinner yet.
“Do you want to come with me to feed the nifflers and diricawls?” It was the only class she excelled in. Hagrid allowed her to come and visit the animals as often as she wished, knowing her to be quite talented at the subject. It was rare to be so compatible with the beasts, but she’d done it.
He wasn’t the biggest fan of the class, and had not taken it for a couple years. Still, he was willing to do just about anything for her. “Let’s go then.” He nodded, gathering up his belongings and tucking them down into his bag. She did the same with her textbook which she never actually opened anyway.
He took her bag from her without her asking. He always carried her books if they were walking somewhere together. She figured it was just him being polite. James would do the same, bragging about his impressive strength. She was grateful though, and walked beside him with her hands in her cardigan pockets.
As they turned the corner, entering the main corridor, she caught the eye of a familiar face, one that Remus thought was busy with Quidditch practice for the time being. “Sirius!” she called, waving over at him with a newfound grin on her face, teeth showing and eyes bright. He looked up from Mary and Alice, who also waved in the pair’s direction.
“Fancy seeing you here, Angel,” he hummed, but opened his arms as he usually did for a hug. She threw herself into his arms and he squeezed her tight, maybe even too tight in Remus’ opinion. She pulled back, peering up at him before nodding to the other two Gryffindor girls.
“Hi, Mary, Alice,” she hummed sweetly. They happily greeted their friend with warm smiles.
Remus almost felt himself move past his surge of jealousy, if he hadn’t seen Sirius rest the palm of his hand on her lower back when he stepped to the side to face the rest of the group. He never understood why the two of them were so close, and why Sirius practically hung off her shoulder when the two were together. The two were just best friends, from all he could tell, but it sure felt like more. Sirius wasn’t known for settling for one girl, he preferred to leave his options open. Surely, he didn’t have a crush on her.
Remus could only hope.
“Moony, where are you two off to?” Mary asked. While Remus looked at the brunette, answering her question, he missed the look that Alice sent Y/N. She raised her brows, her eyes flicking between the pair. Y/N felt her cheeks heat up at the notion that her and Remus were hanging out as anything other than friends. The girls loved to taunt her, probably because they consistently got a rise out of her.
“The creature pens outside,” he replied, gloomier than he wanted to sound. “I thought you guys had practice today?”
Sirius shrugged, “It was postponed for an hour. Something about the weather. I thought you two normally studied on Thursday afternoons.”
“I’ve been doing well enough in my classes that I figured I deserved a well earned break,” she told the three of her quidditch-playing friends.
“Well, I guess we should leave you to it, right, ladies?” the raven-haired boy asked. Bidding the two study partners a goodbye before trailing off with Alice and Mary in tow. Y/N waved while Remus just watched with a defeated look on his face. He always felt defeated when seeing Sirius and Y/N together.
For the rest of the trek out to the animal pens, they walked beside each other silently, just navigating the halls in thought. She could only think about how close he stood beside her, and how attractive it was that he carried her bag for her. A dazed smile was left on her lips and she stared at her feet to avoid him seeing how happy he made her. She was such a lovestruck fool. It was obvious.
It was cold outside but not quite snowy yet. She cuddled into her thick cardigan, wondering if he was cold in just his sweater and uniform shirt. The leaves had fallen from all the trees, crinkling under their footsteps. The sky was white, indicating a storm was brewing, potentially snow considering it was December. A few other students hung out in the courtyard, playing games with each other or sitting by the gardens talking. Not a single person was hanging around the animal pens.
She stopped when they neared the small building beside the care for magical creatures classroom. The diricawls and nifflers were inside this time of year so she pushed open the door to the shelter. Inside, they were met with a dozen or so diricawls walking around on some freshly laid hay.
She turned to Remus and grinned, pointing to a diricawl with three black spots on its head. “This one is my favorite. His name is Cookie. Isn’t he just the cutest?” She asked.
He shut the door behind them so none of the creatures escaped. “You named him Cookie?”
“Yeah, because he’s so sweet.”
She walked over to the food barrel and scooped out two handfuls of food. She tossed onto the ground beside the animals, but kept a few pieces in her hand. With her free hand she urged Remus to come closer.
He did as she asked. “Here, you can feed Cookie this time,” she told him, handing him the pieces of kibble. It was exciting to share her passions with him. He was happy she just included him in the first place. He wanted her to invite him into all aspects of her life. What classes she liked, her favorite books, favorite songs, her favorite holiday, and favorite food. It was like a collection he wanted so badly to complete. To complete her and all her quirks.
He took the kibble from her hand. “How do I feed him?” He asked.
“Didn’t you pay any attention in class?” She joked, but patted his shoulder nonetheless. “By hand, if you want. He doesn’t bite,” she laughed. He knelt down closer to the creature and extended his hand, looking to her for guidance. She gave him a very enthusiastic thumbs up. Soon enough, the little bird was taking food from his palm and munching on his snack.
When he was finished and stood back up, she couldn’t help herself but hug him from the side, pressing her face to his arm. “Y/N?” His heart was skipping a beat. He patted her on the head gently, feeling a bit too awkward to hug her back. Even if he loved her being pressed so close to him, he couldn’t function when the real thing happened.
She answered with so much glee in her voice, “I’m just so happy you came with me. No one ever comes with me to feed these little guys. Always too busy with quidditch or hanging out in the common rooms.”
“It’s no big deal. If it makes you happy, it makes me happy too.”
Her stomach was doing somersaults and her heart raced at his kind words. She took a step back and straightened herself out again. “Thanks, Rem. You’re such a sweetheart.”
If his face wasn’t red already, it certainly was now. She looked like an angel standing there, the diricawls gathered at her legs like her own little army of birds. He loved the way her Gryffindor cardigan swallowed her up. He loved the way some stray hairs fell into her face as she glanced down at the ground. He thought it was adorable how she fiddled with her fingers when she was nervous.
It was admirable how she treated the animals, the things she loved. Even if she wasn’t the smartest book-wise, she was friendly and kind, to animals and humans alike.
Most importantly, there wasn’t any judgment from her when she found he was a werewolf. She caught the boys carrying him up the common room stairs one day in the early hours of the morning, and from then on she doted on him. She gathered ingredients from her furry or scaly companions, persistent in making healing potions for him, different creams and salves for his wounds. She worked long hours in the Potions room with Slughorn’s permission, desperate to make something that would ease his suffering.
She’d come up to their dorm after the full moon and take care of him each time, cleaning his wounds and doing the best she could with her limited knowledge of healing spells. Over time, she got better, nearly perfecting her spell casting, all for him.
That was when he started to fall for her. No one had ever cared for him like she did. As Sirius liked to call her, Y/N truly was an angel, he was sure of it. Sirius might have meant it as a joke, but Remus came to find the nickname truer than any other. True like he was Moony and their friend was Padfoot.
She pointed over to a few cages to their right, where the nifflers lived. The cage was decorated with shiny things, silver necklaces and some gold coins, probably the result of a thieving niffler.
“Do you want to feed the nifflers now?”
“Anything you want, love.”
———
While James was chasing after Lily Evans, and Sirius was busy romancing Marlene McKinnon, Y/N sat back on the couch beside Remus Lupin. Peter sat on the floor by her feet, resting his head against the sofa cushions. She’d grabbed three cups and a pot of hot tea for her and her couple of friends as they watched the flickering of the fire before them.
While the more outgoing of the friend group were always off doing something, this left just the quieter three hanging around amongst themselves. It was peaceful. Remus read his book silently while Y/N and Peter talked about the newest gossip from that day. Peter was great to talk to. He always listened intently, and could discuss basically anything she could think of. She supposed he was just happy that the cooler marauders let him hang around.
She took a sip of her drink and sighed, the warmth of a nice cup of tea soothing her otherwise freezing cold frame. She grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped herself up. It was nearing Christmas, which meant many things.
It meant that she would have to sit outside in the freezing cold during every quidditch match. It meant going to Hogsmeade every weekend and filling up on butterbeer and goodies from Honeydukes. It meant spending more time huddled up on the couch with her friends sitting around the fire, laughing all night long.
She drifted off into her own thoughts for a moment, completely missing the question that Peter had just asked. She felt a tap on her knee and blinked away that dazed look in her eye.
“What was that, Peter?”
“I asked, do you have any plans for Hogsmeade this weekend?” he said once again. She tapped the side of her teacup in thought. She originally planned on staying inside over the weekend to finish up some homework due the next week, but she couldn’t resist the urge to go out and visit the little town, get some candy, and drink in the Three Broomsticks. She couldn’t miss out on a fun outing with friends.
Y/N shook her head ‘no’.
“Wanna come with?”
“Of course.”
She stirred her cup of tea, her eyes scanning the room. “Any specific plans you all have this weekend? Zonko’s, Honeydukes, Spintwich’s?” she asked. Usually they followed some sort of routine. Visit the Three Broomsticks for drinks, head to Honeydukes to stock up on sweets for the rest of the week, and either stop at Zonko’s for the newest gadget or Spintwich’s so James could see if there were any upgrades for his broom.
Her personal favorite was Brood and Peck. Sometimes they had special creatures that you could only find in the forbidden forest. She was still waiting for a unicorn, but in the meantime there were always mooncalves, nifflers, and diricawls to play with. She also liked spending her time in the bookstore too.
Not that she wanted books, she just liked going there with Remus so she could watch him out of the corner of her eye. He furrowed his brows as he scanned the books for one that he was interested in. She would pretend to do the same thing, but really she just went for him. To watch him get excited by a new book that was just released, or half priced older novels he’d been meaning to buy, books they would read together. Seeing him happy made her feel soft inside, and that’s all that mattered to her.
“Well, I heard that Lily and the rest of the girls are going to Honeydukes around noon and I plan to be there,” James said confidently. He was obsessed with that girl, but Y/N couldn’t judge. She was just as obsessed with Remus as James was with Lily. She was infatuated, and had been for years.
“Speaking of which, why aren’t you going with the rest of the girls, Y/N?” Peter asked the girl sitting beside him.
Originally, she declined going to Hogsmeade that weekend altogether. She was far too preoccupied with her schoolwork to even think about taking the day off to fool around, but she couldn’t say no to spending the day with Remus. She had to say yes to the boys, on the off chance she might get some quality time with the boy she fancied.
She shrugged, “They offered, but had to say no. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to finish my potions essay in time. Gladly, I got it done this morning, so I should be fine to go with you guys.” She wasn’t exactly lying, but she certainly wasn’t telling the entire truth. She wasn’t doing well in her Herbology class either…
Remus found himself tense up at the mention of Hogsmeade. He always found himself nervous when she was around, and somehow, they always ended up singled out by the group when they went places. It was always Sirius and James goofing off with Peter following closely after, leaving Remus standing in the dust with Y/N at his side. He was never prepared and felt like he made a fool of himself every time just trying to strike up conversation. He could be so terribly awkward.
He just hoped that on the day of the actual visit to Hogsmeade, he would be normal. That all his friends would stick together instead of separating and leaving him to be his embarrassing self in front of the girl he so desperately fancied.
Part Two out.
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drdemonprince · 26 days
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The article regarding about annoying queer people sparked a by now long forgotten memory.
When I went to my first pride I snuck out secretly and thus was there after the parade. Most people were already some form of drunk or high(didn't know that at the time, I was 15 and naive beyond hope)
That was also the first time I saw puppies ever. In retrospect I must have stared and seemed like one of those annoying "no kink at pride" puriteens. They probably just wanted to allow themselves a small joke but what happened in praxis was, that a grown, white man in only puppy mask and boxers crawled up to me, stood up, started sniffing my breasts and when I started panicking and running away he run after me and everyone else watched and laughed. I think I screamed for help or cryed to please leave me be and was ignored but I can't remember much past the fear.
To them it was probably a small joke but to me it set me back for years. I didn't go to pride in that city ever again and took years to move past "no kink at pride" opinions, an opinion I didn't even have before that.
I felt incredibly isolated and wearing a small rainbow bracelet and cutting my hair took so much bravery. And it earned a lot of backlash too?
So often I see coloured hair and pins as this cutesy cringe thing of no consequence, but for me it resulted in hours upon of arguments and insults. It was worth it, because it helped me built my own identity apart from my families bigotry, but it sure wasn't fun or cutesy. Ultimately it led me to becoming brave enough to actually discover who I am and start making connections with the wider queer community.
Thankfully I had no social media accounts or I would have had some truly stupid arguments.
What I'm saying is, yes young queers can be annoying and it can be tiring to deal with them but being an asshole and vilifying them isn't the solution.
Making fun of teenagers doesn't make yourself more valid and doesn't give you the status of being an old experienced queer.
I'm saying teenagers here but the fun thing about queer people is that we can discover ourselves at any point in time. So it's less teenagers and more people newly discovering themselves as queer.
I get how annoying they can be very well now, doing voluntary work at pride does that.
Do many of those we consider annoying queers hold some harmful opinions? Yeah sure. (The amount of white queers, teens or adults, not dealing with systemic oppression beyond their own is staggering and they more than deserve to be called out. Just to be very clear, when I talk about annoying behaviour I do NOT mean microagressions or discrimination in any way)
But annoying behaviour is not synonymous to that and maybe we should all just start being less mean in public spaces? I get how satisfying it can be to get a hit tweet via a bitchy twitter reply now, but quite honestly I am more ashamed of that now than when I was running around in hoodies and short hair being painfully naive.
Because then I wasn't being mean to anyone. I had some stupid takes sure but no outlet. On twitter I was making fun of people to validate my own queer-ness. (Personally I think I was covering up for the fact that I was afraid the queer people I worked so hard to be part of wouldn't consider me one of their own. So I worked hard to show how I'm not one of "those queers".)
Either way, thanks for reading all this and thank you for sharing the article because it is something I strongly agree with. Just let people be annoying without making fun of them for it. It doesn't need to be a big deal.
Thank you for this wonderful, vulnerable, honest message about your slow path to self-acceptance in the face of a lot of barriers, anon. I'm glad that despite everything you've found your way.
Yeah, I think queer people have many reasons to feel terrified at the rising "no kink at pride" discourse, but sometimes when we lash out at puriteens we sound a bit like the childfree people who say that they hate kids?? Like, we're blaming literal children for an ideology of protecting "The Family" that has been foisted upon us.
I'm guilty of it. I was HAUNTED by the social pressure to get married and pregnant and raise a bunch of kids. It caused me massive dysphoria and didn't jibe with my queer identity. But I rebelled against it for far too long by saying that I hated kids.
It was not the kids' fault! It was the ideological specter of The Family as an institution that isolates and attacks all nonconformity and 'deviant' sexuality! Me being an asshole to children was not gonna set me free, kids were even more disinfranchised than I was!! I don't think I was ever overtly cruel to children, just kind of aloof and freaked out by them, but I definitely *did* say some numbskulled shit to my friends with kids a few times. Completely missing how disempowered mothers (and it was usually mothers) are in society BECAUSE of these same forces .
And I think something similar is going on here. Queer people are tired of having "Family Friendliness" shoved down our throats by corporations and conservatives, and so then we lash out... at young queer people. it's fine to have 18+ areas and events; It's very, very important to me that spaces like Furfest have them. But that's not the same thing as claiming young people have no space in our community as a whole. And I do think we need to erode the barriers between the adult and child worlds in a whole lot of ways, and reorient our attitudes toward nudity, sexuality, roleplaying, etc in public life. but that also doesn't mean a pup should run you out of a pride parade actually fucking sexually harassing you.
It feels great to be able to talk about this stuff! Thanks for your message.
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goodlittlerobot · 10 months
Text
Steve doesn’t really understand how he got here. His life has definitely been weird the past few years, but he thinks that hanging out alone, with Eddie “The Freak” Munson, in his bedroom, might take the cake.
He sort of knows how it happened, after everything happened last spring, things started to settle. The town worked on rebuilding, Vecna seems to be gone, or at least maybe under control, school started back up for the kids, work resumed, everyone was just trying to get back to whatever normal was now.
And as things slowly got a little more boring, Steve found himself with more time to spend with friends and less worrying about the world ending. But as Steve started forming a friend group, Eddie Munson somehow became a part of it. Which Steve wasn’t upset about, Eddie had won him over in the upside down. He didn’t dislike Eddie, he’d actually grown on Steve a lot, which was unexpected.
As unexpected as it was, Steve still gets how it happens, but ending up alone with Eddie like this? Technically he knows how that happened too. The whole group had gotten together for a while at Eddie’s, then Robin and Nancy had decided to split up and go have their own night, complaining that there was “too much testosterone in the air”. Steve didn’t blame them and was happy to see Nancy and Robin become friends as well.
But after Jonathan and Argyle left a little early, it was just Steve and Eddie. And that’s when Steve quickly became aware of the fact that he’s never really been alone with Eddie before, and he isn’t sure why that makes him nervous. Sure, they’ve been alone but not for that long and not like this. But even still, Steve isn’t sure why he’s getting so flustered.
Eddie is smiling and telling him all about…something. Steve realizes he stopped listening a while ago, but he knows Eddie’s excited so he’s doing his best to act like he’s listening.
Eddie finishes with a “you know?”, Steve nods and hopes it’s convincing. “Where’d I lose ya, Harrington?” -it wasn’t.
Steve sighs, “Yeah, I zoned out pretty hard there.” He admits, smiling a little.
Eddie laughs, Steve’s heart flips. That’s weird. “Okay, let me try this again…”
It’s a few hours before Steve leaves Eddie’s place, they’d both completely lost track of time while talking. Eddie played some records, and Steve didn’t even hate them like he thought he would. They ended up listening to music and laying on Eddie’s floor, they hadn’t shut up in hours but suddenly the room was quiet. Eddie has his eyes closed, his hands behind his head and a soft, small smile on his face. Steve cannot look away. He keeps telling himself to look away, he knows Eddie’s gonna catch him staring. Steve is searching Eddie’s face for answers, but he doesn’t know what questions he’s asking. His heart is racing and his hands are starting to feel like static, and he can’t look away.
And then it happens, Eddie’s eyes open slowly and he turns his head to face Steve, “Like what you see, Harrington?”
Steve’s breath catches and he doesn’t know why. “Yeah-“ he realizes what he says, as it comes out of his mouth. “I mean no-“ he finally tears his eyes away from Eddie to close them and run a hand over his face. “I mean, wait-“
Eddie laughs, “If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you had a crush on me.” He looks away from Steve and grins at the ceiling.
Steve lets that repeat in his head, and it keeps repeating. His chest feels tight and his face is hot, shit he knows he’s blushing. He shakes his head, hoping the thoughts will just fly out. “No, no, no. I-I’m just-I didn’t mean to like, stare at you, I was thinking and I just-“ he is falling over his words, he isn’t even sure how he’s talking, the only thing he can hear right now is Eddie’s voice still echoing in the back of his mind.
A big smile spreads on Eddie’s face slowly, he’s the one staring now. “I was joking, jesus.” He chuckles lightly.
Steve starts to feel a little more relaxed, but he still feels like he’s…drunk? high? dreaming? He turns his head again and locks eyes with Eddie, the second he does his heart flips again and he makes a note to see a fucking doctor.
Neither of them say anything for a second, it feels like a lot longer to Steve. He’s never felt this self conscious before. He’s so aware of how much space is between he and Eddie, it’s less than a foot, and Steve can suddenly feel the heat coming from the boy next to him. He starts to wonder seriously if maybe he is dreaming, and then he finally pulls his eyes away from Eddie’s to the clock on Eddie’s dresser. “Holy shit, it’s late.” He says sitting up, “I completely forgot I have to work in the morning. I better go.”
Eddie sits up too and watches as Steve stands up and grabs his jacket off of the bed frame. “Lame.” He says, standing up to follow Steve out. “but responsible.”
When they say goodbye, Steve keeps thinking he’s forgetting something. He’s checked his pockets like ten times, he knows he’s good, what is he missing? He realizes as he’s walking to his car that he just doesn’t really want to leave, he wants to stay. He wants to keep listening to records and he wants to keep laying next to Eddie.
When he starts driving away, he glances back he notices Eddie, still leaning against his doorframe, still watching Steve. That’s when Steve starts hearing Eddie’s stupid joke playing in his head again.
And he hears it over and over and over, the rest of the night. He hears it when he drives home, he hears it when he showers, as he brushes his teeth, and it’s the loudest when he tries to sleep. He tosses and turns for hours, unable to stop replaying the night in his head, unable to think about anything but Eddie Munson. Usually he’d be grateful for a night with no flashes of monsters and death in his mind, but tonight he thinks he might prefer it.
Around 2am he sits up, throws his blanket to the side in frustration and just sits on the side of his bed for a minute. He debates going downstairs and just waiting out the next few hours until he has to go to work. He thinks about taking a walk, maybe that would clear his head? He’s way too tired for that though.
He just sighs and puts his head in his hands, he decides the only thing he can do right now is face it.
“If i didn’t know better, I’d say you have a crush on me, Harrington.”
He thinks about it one more time. He asks himself why is he feeling the same way he felt the first time he liked a girl, why was he as nervous at Eddie’s house as he was on his very first date? Why did his heart flip when Eddie smiled at him the same way it used to for Nancy?
Because that’s the thing, six months ago Steve was planning this big life in his head with Nancy. He was in love with her, he was attracted to her, he liked her. He doesn’t like Eddie. -Not like that.
Steve Harrington isn’t gay, he knows that. He knows that because he still thinks Nancy is beautiful, he thinks Robin is beautiful, he’s attracted to girls. Steve loves girls, he likes their long hair, he likes their soft lips, he likes boobs. If Steve knows anything, he knows he likes boobs.
Eventually he talks himself down enough to lay back down. He likes girls. He doesn’t even know why he was acting like that now, he feels like an idiot.
So, of course his heart wasn’t doing flips because he likes Eddie. He was tired, he was distracted, and it was his first time one on one with his new friend. He was just a little nervous? Yeah, no, he was just a little nervous. He likes girls. He didn’t think that when Eddie smiles the world feels brighter, and he definitely didn’t notice that Eddie’s hand accidentally brushed against his when they were talking, and he never even thought about how those brown eyes would just light up when Eddie got excited.
Steve likes girls. He likes girls with long, wild hair, he likes girls with big brown eyes, he likes girls with soft lips, he likes girls with tattoos, he likes girls with ripped jeans, he likes girls who play weird dorky games, he likes girls who listen to heavy metal, he likes girls who look at him for a little too long while they lay on the floor together. Steve likes girls.
And that’s what he tells himself the rest of the night, but the rest of the night only lasts a minute or two before he finally falls into a peaceful sleep.
He wishes. Instead he’s tossed right back into Eddie’s room, the faint sounds of guitars and laughter fill the space, brown eyes on him again. Maybe it is a little peaceful, until he hears his alarm.
He wakes up, the room finally bright again, he barely recognizes it after spending so long tossing and turning in the dark last night. He sits up and shuts his alarm off, he sleepily makes his way to the bathroom and somewhere between brushing his teeth and getting dressed he remembers his dream. He just remembers flashes, bits and pieces. He remembers Eddie. He tells himself it’s not a big deal, even though something in him is begging to disagree.
He ends up being a couple minutes late, and when he gets in he expects to hear Robin giving him shit about it, but instead he hears “What happened?”
He furrows his brow and looks at Robin, who is giving him a look for some reason. “Hmm?” he barely had the energy for that reply, but he makes his way in and throws his jacket on the counter as he gets the rest of his things ready.
“You look awful, Harrington.” Robin says from behind him, “Are you sick?”
Steve blinks, and turns to face her. “Actually, you know what?” He laughs a little, and Robin gives him a concerned look. “Yeah, maybe. Maybe.” It all makes sense, that’s gotta be it. He’s sick. He’s coming down with something and he’s just getting confused because he’s sick. He’s just sick. “You know, that would explain it. I’ve been feeling so weird.”
Robin frowns a little, “Do you need to go home? What’s wrong? fever? Chills? Headache? You know, I was reading this magazine with Nancy last night and it said that you could cure almost anything with tea-“
“I’m good, I’m good.” Steve smiles, cutting Robin off. “I don’t feel sick, but no like I’m probably about to be sick or something.” He rationalizes out loud. “I barely slept, I was up all night.”
Robin gives him a weird look, “Wait, you don’t feel sick? Why were you up all night?”
Shit. Now he doesn’t know what to say, he usually finds it hard to lie to Robin. Steve thinks her habit of oversharing must be contagious. He opens his mouth to reply, but closes it and just kinda shrugs. But she’s still looking at him, confused. “I was just…I couldn’t sleep.”
“Yeah?” She looks him over for a second before going back to her stack of returned VHS tapes she’s sorting through, without looking up she asks “How long did you stay at Eddie’s after Nance and I left?”
Steve looks at her out of the corner of his eye for a second, “I was there a while, I dunno.” He says quietly, pretending to be reading the cover of the movie in his hands. “I uh, I ended up listening to records with Eddie for a few hours.”
“A few hours?” Robin looks at him again, “With, like- you and Eddie alone?”
He doesn’t know what to say, or why Robin is asking like that. He’s had enough of confusion and questions in the past how every many hours, he just looks at Robin for a second, takes a breath as if he’s gonna say something and decides against it again, instead he simply walks away with the VHS still in his hands. He doesn’t even know what it is, he glances down and reads the title for real this time. It goes on the other side of the store, he turns and pretends he doesn’t notice Robin following him.
“Like just the two of you?” She asks again, on his heels. “Have you ever even been alone before?
He puts the tape away and sighs. “Yeah, we were alone. I don’t see why that’s a big deal.” He crosses his arms.
“What?” She scoffs. “It’s not, it’s just you guys are kind of…” She trails off and Steve raises an eye brow at her, “opposites.” she finishes.
Steve relaxes, he doesn’t know why he got so nervous. He doesn’t know why he thinks that Robin would think…-okay, he’s overthinking things. “I don’t know, he’s cool.” He shrugs, avoiding looking at Robin. “I guess we’re friends now.”
Robin nods slowly. “Just when I thought I’d seen it all, King Steve listening to heavy metal with the town weirdo.” She snorts softly. “Now that’s something.”
He rolls his eyes. “Let’s just do our jobs for once, okay?”
The rest of their shift goes by completely normally, it’s a slow day, there’s not a ton to do and they’re just about finished for the day so they have time to sit around and talk. Steve is thankful for the downtime, he is exhausted and all he can think about is going home and going to sleep.
He’s doing his best to not doze off right now, sitting on the counter and talking to Robin as she organizes the candy for probably the tenth time today. She’s rambling, and it’s comforting even if Steve isn’t paying close attention.
The bell chimes from the door and Steve begrudgingly slides off the counter out of habit, he goes to turn to greet whoever came in when he hears a familiar “Hey, Harrington.” and his heart does that thing again.
He blinks a few times and keeps thinking he’s going to respond but doesn’t. He’s thought about Eddie so much these past how ever many hours that he’s not even sure if Eddie is really here or if he’s just hallucinating. But then Eddie adds, “Buckley, my lady.” with a small, dorky bow.
Robin laughs and rolls her eyes, “Thank god you showed up, it’s slow as shit and I don’t know what you did to Steve last night but he’s been falling asleep for the past half an hour.”
Steve tries so hard to say anything before Eddie can, he already knows there’s going to be some kind of retort, but Steve’s too slow.
“Sounds like I wore you out, huh big boy?” Eddie smirks and looks up at Steve as he leans his forearms against the counter.
Steve’s chest feels like his heart might just burst out of it, it’s beating so fast. “Yeah, whatever.” He rolls his eyes, wiping his palms on his pants absentmindedly, why are they sweaty? He’s sick. He’s for sure sick. “What brings you in, Munson?”
“Well I’d like to say I just missed you nerds, but believe it or not I need a movie.” He taps his knuckles on the counter quickly. “Got a date, recommend something, Steve.”
“A date?” Robin and Steve say at the same time, but with differing tones. Robin sounds interested, Steve sounds shocked.
“Oh, is that such a surprise?” Eddie rolls his eyes and makes his way to the first rack of movies he sees.
“Kinda?” Steve admits, turning to follow Eddie. “You should have Robin recommend something, she’d be better at knowing what girls like.”
Eddie looks at Steve for a second and Steve knows there’s a reason for this look, but he’s unable to figure out what it is. “Probably so.” Eddie says slowly, “But hey, you’re ‘The Hair’, I know you’ve got moves.”
“Yeah, I guess.” He shrugs. He looks around for Robin and notices she’d stayed behind at the counter, he also sees that she’s been watching them. Steve takes note of that but keeps talking to Eddie, he tries to hide that his hands are shaky while he gives suggestions.
They walk and talk around the store, it feels easy but it’s not. Not for Steve at least, he feels like his brain is running on empty. After a handful of recommendations, Eddie is reading the back of a case and Steve can’t stop himself from asking “So who’s the girl?” he asks quietly, and he’s not sure why.
Eddie looks at him, “What?”
Steve attempts a small smile, “Your date?”
“Oh,” Eddie blows out a laugh, but pauses, he looks at Steve for a second and now Steve feels like maybe he’s the one with answers on his face this time because Eddie has this look, and Steve can tell he wants to say something.
Steve doesn’t break eye contact though, even though his brain is begging him to stop looking at Eddie, he can’t. He isn’t sure why his eyes betray him this way, but he glances at Eddie’s mouth for a second and he nearly falls over when it hits him. He kinda wants…maybe- no. Steve likes girls.
“How’s the movie search going?” Robin asks, and Steve isn’t sure when she got so close.
Eddie looks at her as if he wasn’t just looking right into Steve’s soul, he smiles “Harrington here has been a delight, you should give him a raise.”
“If i had that power, I would use it to fire him for standing around and flirting with the customers all day.” Robin says,
“Oh my god.” Steve mutters, rolls his eyes and heads for the counter. “I’ll be over here, working, if you two wanna keep doing…this.” He takes a stack of movies and wishes he knew what they were for but he’s gotten pretty good at just looking like he’s working today.
Robin and Eddie stay behind, chatting. Steve tries his hardest to not listen, he’s not sure why he cares. He doesn’t care. There’s nothing to care or not care about. He does a good job at minding his business at first.
“So did you pick a movie for your date?” is all Robin says, but just the word date is enough to get Steve’s attention. But, he doesn’t care. He’s screaming in his head to stop listening, but doesn’t.
“Yeah, but movie nights aren’t really about the movie, right?” Eddie says and Steve doesn’t look but he can hear his smirk. “Mostly background noise.”
Steve feels a new feeling he can’t name. It doesn’t feel like it did last night anymore. Last night was weird, but it felt better than this. This unidentified feeling feels…bad. His heart is still beating like crazy, but not quite like it was. No, now he feels kind of like he’s mad. Why is he mad? Jealous? He feels kind of jealous. No. Steve decided that’s crazy, forces himself to stop listening and just takes a breath. He’s losing it.
He gets out of his head just in time to see Eddie and Robin heading back to the counter, he reminds himself to act normal but already knows he’ll fail.
“Alright, Harrington. I’m going to listen to you but if this movie sucks i’m never taking your advice again.” He puts the movie down and Robin takes care of the rest.
Steve leans on the counter behind Robin, facing Eddie. “Listen, just rewind it before you bring it back, ‘kay?”
“Whatever you say, big boy.” Eddie says, before grabbing the movie. “Tell you what, if it doesn’t suck, you can suggest another movie and we’ll watch it together, make a night of it.”
Steve can feel his face go red. He knows Eddie did not mean it like that, he knows that. He still can’t stop the images that spark throughout his brain. He can’t help but think about how a night like that might go. He takes a shaky breath, “Yeah-“ his voice is too high, he clears his throat a little. “yeah, no movie night sounds fun.” He glances over to Robin, who is a little wide eyed and Steve can tell she’s dying to say something but she can’t. “Movie night?” He says, a little quickly, nodding. “We sh-should do a movie night with like, all of us one night. That-that could be fun?” He says, putting a hand on his hip, and he’s not sure how to stop stumbling over his words and he’s also not sure why he’s only looking at Robin now. He’s spent this whole time nearly unable to tear his eyes away from Eddie, but now he can’t get himself to look at him. “Hmm?” He adds because Robin is still silent.
She nods, “No, yeah. That would be super fun!” She says, but Steve sees her wheels turning and he desperately wants to stop them for a second because he can tell she’s about to do something. “Oh, but like, I’ve been so busy with, stuff. and Jonathan and Nancy are…you know they’re in love and they do stuff-together i mean, they spend a lot of time together, as a couple. And you know, I think if it takes us a while to find a good time you and Eddie should solo it…i guess it’s not solo if it’s together but, you could be like, alone together, kind of poetic.” She smiles. “Just saying, you know since everyone’s so busy right now, maybe you guys should go ahead.”
Steve looks at Robin with a please oh my god stop look, “Yeah.” is all he can get out.
Eddie smirks and looks between them. “Alright, I’m out of here, kids.”
“Have fun.” Robin calls out as Eddie walks toward the door.
“Always.” Eddie replies, “Later, Harrington.”
Steve can only bring himself to wave. When Eddie leaves, Steve waits about one second, looks around the store, walks over and locks the door.
“We are not closed.” Robin says, “And I don’t think closing the store is good for business.”
“What is going on?” Steve says, feeling like he’s finally cracking. “I-I mean, like all night right? Like I was up all night, and then when I finally did sleep? Guess what? That was all…messed up too. Like, I think there’s something going on.” He turns to Robin, he can tell he looks a little crazy, and his arms are swinging as he talks with his hands, “So I wake up, I go to work, and like… today?”
“I am gonna need some kind of context, or a clue, Steve.” Robin says and then glances at the door. “Oh, duh.” She adds, mostly under her breath.
“No,” Steve shakes his head, wondering if she can see into it. “whatever you’re thinking no, no.” He turns to unlock the door but stops, “That was weird, right?”
“What? You locking the door and saying gibberish?” She asks, walking past him to unlock it herself. “Yeah, a little weird.”
“You know what I’m talking about, Robin.” He says, a little louder than he meant to. “Like that whole thing at the end?” He crosses his arms, “Since when is everyone I know too busy to hang out? I saw you all yesterday!”
“I know, but I thought maybe you and Eddie should spend some more time together, you know? He said he had a great time last night, and I think you did too.”
Steve can’t stop himself, “He said he had a good time?”
“A great time.” Robin repeats with a smirk. “So?”
“I’m not-“ he starts and suddenly his throat is dry, he shakes his head a little. “I’m not-“ He tries again and fails. Robin is waiting, Steve can tell she’s gonna try to let him talk. But he’s not sure if he can. “I don’t-…”
“Shh.” She presses a finger to his lips, “you have been a crazy man today, Steve.” She walks back to the counter and sits on top of it. “Look, if you wanna talk about whatever is going on, I am here to listen, and if you want to never speak of it, well, i’ll just talk enough for both of us, yeah?”
He nods. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s going on.” He leans on the counter next to her. “I just, I guess like…” he trails off, and looks at her, “I don’t wanna talk.” He admits, and even he can hear how pathetic he sounds right now.
“Good, my turn.” She smiles and Steve hopes she knows how thankful he is.
He goes about the next two days as well as he can, no one has noticed that he’s been avoiding pretty much everything yet. He goes to work, he does what he needs to and he goes home. And for two days that worked, but Dustin called and asked if he wanted to go do something so Steve picked him up, and they went out for lunch and hung around Hawkins, killing time in the few stores that had rebuilt already. It was nice, and Steve felt more relaxed than he had in days.
Until on the drive to drop Dustin back off at home, Dustin suddenly says “Shit, I forgot, could you drop me off at Eddie’s?”
The request takes Steve by surprise for no reason, he does this all the time. It’s a normal thing, why would Steve care? He doesn’t. Sure, he’s been avoiding Eddie like the plague for reasons that aren’t entirely even clear to himself but this is fine. It’s fine. “Eddie’s?”
“Yeah, I almost forgot, I got a few new comics that he and I were talking about so-“
“Yeah, no, I mean, yeah I can take you to Eddie’s.” Steve nods and thinks he manages to sound mostly normal, “like his place?”
“Yes.” Dustin answers slowly. “Did you hit your head? You’ve been so weird.”
“You’re weird.” Steve retorts but there’s nothing in his voice to back it up. “I haven’t been weird.”
“You’ve been weird, even weirder than usual.”
Steve scoffs, and they ride in silence for a minute. He doesn’t want to go to Eddie’s, he knows it’ll be fast, he’s just dropping Dustin off. But if he sees Eddie, he’s going to think about Eddie, and he’s going to think about Eddie’s date and then he’s gonna only think about all of that for the rest of the night. But now he’s already thinking it, and he can’t stop. They’re nearly there when Steve blurts out “Does Eddie have a girlfriend?”
Dustin looks a little surprised, “I don’t think so.” He says. “Eddie doesn’t really talk about girls.”
Steve nods. “Right, I was just wondering cause like, if he doesn’t…maybe I’ll set him up with someone, you know?” He hopes the lie at least makes sense, but judging by the look on Dustin’s face it doesn’t. “Like I-I figured, since we’re friends now and-“
“You’re friends?” Dustin asks, looking suspicious.
“Yeah,” Steve says, glancing over at Dustin, “is that cool?”
Dustin smiles and nods, “It’s very cool. I told you that you’d like him.”
Steve sighs, “You were right, okay?” He looks over at Dustin and things feel like they make sense again, for the first time in weeks, in months. Maybe years? “I do like him.” Steve says, but when he says it out loud it all kind of just hits him.
He does like him. He likes Eddie. He likes Eddie. He likes Eddie? All those feelings come flooding in, he starts to panic but this is not the time. Not only is Dustin smiling next to him in the passenger seat, but he’s also literally pulling into Eddie’s. His hands are shaking and feel a little numb when he stops the car, his ears are ringing and his chest is tight. He hears Dustin in the distance, but quickly realizes he’s still in the car with him.
“Steve?” Dustin says, again and Steve blinks back to reality. His eyes oddly damp, and his face a shade too red. “Steve?”
“Yeah?” He says, not looking away from the steering wheel. “Yeah. Sorry, I just remembered I-“ he stops, shaking his head a little. He smiles at Dustin before pulling him into a hug. “I just remembered that I should never doubt you.”
“Jesus, dude-“ Dustin pushes him off, “seriously, you are so weird.”
Steve laughs. “Have fun, don’t do anything stupid.” He says as Dustin gets out.
Dustin goes to say something but is cut off, no. Not now. “Harrington!”
Steve freezes, mouth open slightly, he looks at Dustin as he runs toward Eddie. Steve sighs, he thinks quickly about just absolutely gunning it. He could be gone in thirty seconds, he doesn’t even have to stop driving. He can just leave, run away, never talk to anyone again, change his name, start a new life- he opens the car door and takes a breath, when get gets out he feels like his legs are jello, and he stumbles a little before leaning on his car. “H-hey, uh I-“ He stops, seeing Eddie is too much right now. Steve likes him. He’s trying so hard to act normal, how does he act normal? He likes Eddie.
“You got a while? We’re gonna read comics and hang, you’re invited.” Eddie says, and it’s so casual. Steve doesn’t feel casual.
“No, no, I would, but I-I’m going to Robin’s so-“ he absolutely had no plans with Robin, but he decided before he even got out of the car that he was definitely going to her house as soon as he left here, he’s not even sure if she’s home. He doesn’t care, he’ll wait. “thanks though.” He attempts a smile, but he worries he looks more pained.
“Cool, maybe next time.” Eddie waves, Steve nods and goes to get back in the car, “Oh,” Eddie stops, and looks back at Steve. “The flick? It was good, Harrington. Movie night soon, yeah?”
Steve feels like he could scream, this is a lot for him to take at once. But when he actually goes to reply, his voice gets stuck in his throat and he can just sort of nod like an idiot for a second before choking out a quick “Yeah, yeah, absolutely.” He clears his throat, “Sounds good.”
Eddie smiles, and it’s so bright and warm and intoxicating. “It’s a date.”
Steve’s breath catches and he isn’t sure what the right response is. He is freaking out, he needs to get to Robin’s. He barely chokes out “I-uh, Robin-“ before he just decides he’s had enough, waves again, gets in his car and heads out.
The whole way to Robin’s, Steve keeps replaying the other night at Eddie’s in his head, but his whole perspective has changed. He has the questions now, he has names for these feelings, he has words for these thoughts.
He likes Eddie. But, Steve likes girls. How can that happen? Can he like both? Can he just like, make an exception?
He keeps trying to tell himself that maybe he’s losing it, and he’s making this up in his head. He thinks maybe he’s just confused, or sick, or tired, or something. Because he can’t like Eddie, right?
But then he thinks of the other night, and how maybe when Eddie’s hand brushed his, it wasn’t an accident. He thinks about how he couldn’t stop staring at Eddie because he didn’t want to, he wants to stare at him. He wants to look at his hair, and his eyes, and his body. He really wants to look at his body. Steve tries to hit the brakes on that thought, but can’t stop it. He wants to touch Eddie, he wants to feel his hair, he knows it’s soft. He wants Eddie’s hand to brush against his again, he wants it to stay there. He wants more.
He gets to Robin’s and wastes no time, barely remembering to shut the car door behind him before he darts to Robin’s front door. He knocks and things finally work out for once, she’s home and she answers. “Steve?” Her smile fades quickly when she looks at him, “Uh, you good? Did you run here?”
“What?” He realizes now that he seems a little out of breath, “No, no. I need to talk to you.”
“Everything okay?” She asks, her brow furrowed, “Is everybody okay?”
“Everyone is good, it’s me-I’m fine, but-“ he sighs and takes a quick look around, “I can’t talk about this here.”
“Lucky for you my parents aren’t home, I’m not supposed to have boys in my room.”
Steve chuckles a little as he goes inside and follows her to her room. Once they’re in Steve realizes he doesn’t even know where to start. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t even know if he should say anything.
What if he’s crazy and this is just like, something that’ll go away in a few days? What if this is all made up in his head and he doesn’t actually feel these feelings.
But it felt real, it felt real when they were sitting in Eddie’s room laughing together, it felt real when they were laying on his floor listening to records, it felt real when Eddie smiled at him. Steve tries his best to tell himself maybe it’s not real. But it is. He knows it is. He’s just stuck in this loop of uncertainty and he doesn’t know how to get out. He knows talking to Robin will help, that’s why he came over. He needs to say something, but where does he even begin? He isn’t sure where any of this began. One day he barely knew Eddie, and all of a sudden, they’re friends and Steve likes him?
Robin sits on her bed and looks up at him, Steve starts fidgeting with his hands and isn’t sure if he wants to sit or not. He feels restless. “So what’s going on?” Robin asks, calmly. “This isn’t like a spooky monster or government secret thing, right?”
“No,” Steve waves a hand dismissively. “Nothing like that, it’s…it’s personal.” Steve starts pacing just a little. “Like I’m physically fine but my brain is-“
“I mean everyone knows you’ve been acting weird this week.” Robin says, bluntly. Steve gives her a quick look of annoyance before she continues. “What’s going on? Is it like, girl troubles?” Robin raises her eyebrows.
“Robin,” He groans, -he knows he can tell her. Why can’t he tell her? He doesn’t think he has the guts to say this out loud. “Not exactly.” He says it slow, looking at her nervously.
“It’s not about Nancy, is it?” She asks, sitting up a little straighter. Steve can tell she’s fighting a smirk, she’s doing a good job of it but Steve can still tell.
“Oh my god.” Steve mutters. “Absolutely not, no. I told you, that’s over.” He runs a hand through his hair, “It’s not Nancy.”
Robin just stares at him for a second, waiting. Steve just holds her stare and she gives in, “Okay! So, what?” She throws her hands up a little, “This is about whatever has been making you crazy, right?”
Steve nods, and makes a noncommittal noise.
“So what is it, Harrington?”
Steve takes a breath and turns to fully face Robin again, “Look, whatever I say next stays between us, right? Like, no one else can know.”
Robin leans forward a little, “Of course, come on. We both have secrets.” She reminds him and it makes him feel better for a minute.
He drags a hand across his face and starts, “I-“ he stops, not sure what to say, not sure if he should even say anything, not sure if he should tell Robin everything, tell her that he’s having a breakdown because he thinks he likes boys, but he knows he likes girls, and that even if that wasn’t an issue, Eddie? Why Eddie? And can he even tell Robin that? Would that make all the times they hang out weird? But, he can’t bring himself to care as much as maybe he should. He knows he wants to tell her, he just doesn’t know how. He puts his hands on his hips, thinking it over for a second. He still has to say something, “Okay, look so, I like-“ he stops again, trying to choose his words carefully, “someone.” he finally says.
“Yeah?” She smiles, before gasping a little. “Love sick!” she says, pointing at him for a second. “That’s what was going on the other day, Steve.”
He rolls his eyes, “No, it’s not like-“ he scoffs, “I just, you know, I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Well, who is she?”
Steve feels his heart drop a little, this is the part he isn’t sure he can admit. Not only to Robin, but just out loud. He thinks about just making up a girls name and forgetting all of this.
But he can’t, because his brain has been caught on a loop of the past week. Eddie’s house, the video store, Eddie having a date, feelings having no names, he thinks of the heavy metal that was playing in the background and how he could barely hear it over his own heart pounding in his ears. He can’t fight it, he’s tried. He’s powerless.
“Robin,” He starts, weakly, leaning against her wall. His heart is beating fast again, and he can hardly bring himself to look at her, his eyes are wet now and he doesn’t know why. “This isn’t about a girl.” He admits, and he hopes she gets it.
She blinks at him a couple times and he can see that she’s thinking her next few words over carefully, something she actually does well for occasions like this. “Okay,” She nods, slowly, looking at Steve like he might break if she moves too quick. He doesn’t like it, but he can tell she’s just trying to keep him calm for this. “You like someone.” She starts, and looks up at Steve.
He nods and doesn’t say anything because he knows he can’t right now, he does not want to cry about this.
“And it’s not a girl?”
Steve swallows and shakes his head, “Nope.” He finally chokes out. “I, uh, I like…” He looks at Robin, he tries to stop himself, but he can’t. He knows this could mess everything up, but he feels like maybe he should tell her everything. It felt good to tell her part of it. Mostly, he just doesn’t want to be alone with these thoughts anymore. He sighs, sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor. “I’ve been losing my mind, Robin.” He admits, his voice low. He feels himself losing the fight he’s been having in his own head, if he doesn’t get this over with he’s going to explode. He can trust Robin, he reminds himself before taking a breath and starting again. “The other night, I couldn’t sleep, I was up nearly the whole night thinking about him, right? And then I-I finally fall asleep and I fucking dream about him, I kept thinking about everything, I kept going over the whole night, you know? We talked, we listened to music, but the whole time I could barely pay attention to anything, I didn’t care about any of it. I just wanted be around him. And then, like, he says stuff that I know is a joke, but god, it still just…” He trails off and checks to see if Robin’s going to say anything, he’s sure she’s probably dying to ask questions or say something.
But Robin is just watching him, with somewhat concerned eyes, and just waiting for him to finish. She gives a small nod encouragingly when she notices him looking at her.
Steve looks away and sighs, “Robin, I like him.” His voice breaks again, just slightly. “I like him so much.”
“I know,” She says, nodding. “And that’s okay!”
Steve scoffs. “I can’t like him.”
“Why not?” Robin throws her hands up, “You can so like him.”
“I can’t like him.” He repeats, shaking his head. “For starters, I still like girls so-“
Robin gives him a puzzled look, “Steve,” she laughs softly, “You can like girls and like guys too!”
Steve just looked at her. “Are you serious?” He asks, sitting up away from the wall a little.
Robin looks at him for a second, smiling. “Yeah, Harrington. You can like whoever, you don’t have to pick guys or girls.”
“Shit.” He says, blinking and resting his head against the wall. “I thought I was like…the only one.”
Robin rolls her eyes, “Sorry, you’re not special.” She smiles, “You’re just bisexual.”
“Oh, huh.” Steve looks down, he lets it soak in for a second. This whole time he thought this was something wrong with him but it has a name. He can just like whoever he likes. He chuckles a bit, feeling a little embarrassed for freaking out about it. “Learned something new, I guess.”
“It’s not like you could have known. Look around this town, not a lot of people like us.” She says shrugging. “But welcome aboard, glad to have you. “
“Yeah, thanks.” Steve rolls his eyes. “That solves that but like, what do I do?”
“Well, technically you still haven’t told me who this is.” Robin says, grinning.
Steve glares at her for a second, “Robin, don’t make me say it.” He whines a little.
“How can I help if I don’t know who it is?”
Steve closes his eyes and presses his palms to his face for a second. “Robin, oh my god.”
She tries to hide laughter, but isn’t very successful. “it could be anybody!”
“Fine, fine!” Steve throws his hands up in defeat and looks at her, she is absolutely radiating excitement and he hates how endearing it is. “Eddie.” He says, but as quietly as possible. It still feels awkward to say out loud.
“Hmm?” Robin puts her hand to her ear, “I didn’t catch that?”
“Eddie!” Steve shouts a little, tossing his head back in defeat. “I like Eddie.” He admits and another weight floats off of him. “I really fucking like Eddie.” And now he feels like he kind of wants to keep saying it, it’s therapeutic after days of bottling things up and keeping secrets from himself.
Robin sits up on her knees, “I knew it! I knew it! I-I’ve known it for months!” She says excitedly.
Steve sits up straighter, “I’ve only known for like, an hour. How could you have known for months?”
“Oh, please.” She rolls her eyes, “It’s so obvious you guys like each other, all you do is stare and flirt. It’s pathetic!”
Steve’s whole body feels hot, he feels sick, but he feels almost hopeful. “He-no. You’re so wrong, there’s no way-“ he shakes his head. “You’re crazy, he doesn’t- he likes girls.”
“Steve, you like girls.”
Steve’s eyebrows go up and he nods a little, “That’s fair.”
“And how do you know? How do you know he doesn’t like you?”
“Why would he like me?” Steve shrugs, “Like we have almost nothing in common, you know?”
“So? He liked hanging out with you. If you guys are so incompatible, why would he want to hang out with you? Alone?”
Steve sighs, “There’s no way.” He says again, seriously. “And we don’t-we don’t stare at each other.”
“Yes, you do! All the time! Just like, get a room, oh my god. It’s disgusting.”
Steve laughs and for the first time he can breathe. He feels okay. He thinks maybe this won’t be so bad. Maybe he can just navigate this crush and somehow keep things together. But eventually he realizes he can’t just stay here in Robin’s room forever, and sooner or later he’s going to see Eddie again, they’re going to hang out and Steve is going to have to pretend that he isn’t hopelessly obsessed with him.
He and Robin talk for a while, and things start to settle for the night. It feels weird to just keep going through life after this. He’s supposed to just go home and go to bed after it feels like his whole world has flipped? He realizes he’s fucking head over heels for someone and he’s supposed to just act like he’s not?
It’s quiet for a minute and he and Robin are sitting across from each other on the bed, both lost in thought. He glances at her, “What do I do now?”
She looks like she thinks it over for a minute, before taking a breath, “You could go to his house, tell him how you feel and make out the rest of the night.” She looks at him and gives a small shrug, “That’s an option.”
Steve’s breathing gets a little shaky, that was definitely not something he’d considered. He tries to stop thinking about it, but he wants to. He shakes his head, “No, that’s not happening. I’m not gonna tell him.”
“Well maybe see if he wants to hang out, then you could kind of get a feel for things. Maybe you’ll see that he does like you and you can just see what happens.” She suggests and Steve doesn’t hate this idea.
He thinks it over, another night alone with Eddie, another night where Steve would get his full attention, another night where Steve could lay way too close next to him, a night where Eddie might let his fingers linger against Steve’s again. Steve nearly feels lightheaded just thinking about it. “Maybe.”
“Hey, he was just talking about a movie night, right?”
Steve’s eyes snap shut and he puts his head in his hands, “Oh my god.”
“Okay, so maybe not-“
“No, yeah. He just…when i dropped Dustin off he actually asked about that.” He looks at Robin a little nervously, he can feel his face going red. “I said sure, he said it’s a date, and I just-“ Steve makes a motion with his hand, “got the hell outta there, I came straight here.”
“Oh.” Robin says, “Even better, sounds like you already have plans!” Steve worries her face is going to get stuck with this excited smile she has.
“I don’t want to,” Steve sighs, nerves building already just thinking about it. “but yeah, i’ll try, okay?”
“That’s the spirit!”
The next few days, Steve tries his best to be cool. He’s not freaking out like he was, he knows better now. He knows more now. That doesn’t mean he feels quite like himself still. He’s still overthinking and over tired, the last few nights unfortunately have become dedicated to Steve just thinking about Eddie and all the different ways this could go, he’s played out every scenario. He doesn’t know what to expect, but he wants to be prepared for anything.
And yet, he finds himself very unprepared for Eddie’s voice coming through the line when Steve absentmindedly answers his phone while going through the mail. But the increasingly familiar “Harrington!” chimes in Steve’s ear and he drops the stack of envelopes he was holding.
Steve fumbles through the whole phone call, but keeps it together just enough to get by with using the mess he made as an excuse. He knows Eddie called for something, but he’s just kind of been rambling for five minutes and Steve starts to wonder if he might be a little nervous too. He also realizes that he has never given Eddie his phone number, he smiles a little to himself when he thinks that Eddie would have had to ask someone to give him Steve’s number, so he kind of went out of his way to call him.
“Anyway,” Eddie says, slowing down. “Look, you coming over tonight or what?”
Steve’s body does that tingly thing again, and his face is burning. He tries to respond but his words are stuck. He clears his throat and tries again. “Yeah, okay.” is all he mages to get out. It wouldn’t have mattered if he tried, he can’t tell Eddie no.
He hears Eddie laugh softly, and it’s basically the last thing he hears because he’s got a thousand thoughts running through his mind and he’s trying to sort through them. When he hangs up, he immediately calls Robin.
He does a double check to make sure he’s still home alone before she answers, “Hello?”
“What are you doing tonight?” He asks, quickly, skipping the greetings. He doesn’t really mean too, but his brain is moving too fast.
“Hello, Steve.” She says, huffing into the phone slightly. “I’m picking up a shift at the store tonight, why?”
“Okay, okay so no one else is going to Eddie’s?”
“No, everyone’s busy.” Steve can hear her smile through the phone, he knows she feels so smug.
He sighs, “Great.”
“You’ll be fine! You’ll have fun!” She reassures him, “Just relax.”
Steve tries to take that advice but he spends the rest of the afternoon doing anything but relaxing.
The last few days have dragged on so slowly, but today flies by, and he hates it. It’s all a blur of nerves, he spent 30 minutes just looking at the clothes in his closet. He didn’t even know why, but he just went back and forth between three different shirts before he realized he was taking forever and felt stupid for caring this much. After he gets dressed, he thinks that maybe he has done this before, once or twice before he’s gone to hang out with Eddie. He knows he changed twice before he went the other day, he couldn’t figure out why then, he figured he was just having an off day and brushed it aside. He feels like an idiot now.
He can barely drag himself to his car when it’s time to leave, he wants to go, but he also wants to just disappear. He’s unbearably nervous, and he circles the block once before he feels like he has enough courage to finally head in the right direction.
When Steve gets to Eddie’s door he pauses, he suddenly thinks about every scenario he played out last night. He thinks about the different outcomes, he weighs the pros and cons of knocking.
But before he can, the door swings open, “Harrington!” Eddie smiles before pulling Steve in gently by the wrist.
Steve feels like he would probably follow Eddie anywhere if he kept his hand wrapped close by his. “H-hey!” Steve wishes he was better at acting normal by now.
“Okay, you made it, so-“ Eddie let’s go of Steve’s arm and claps his hands together. He starts talking, going on about his ideas for the night, and Steve is listening but it’s difficult.
He’s trying so hard to think everything through, he doesn’t want to make a wrong move. He doesn’t want to be obvious, and he’s so worried he’s going to slip up and just say something fucking stupid.
Because every time he tried to play out all those different versions of tonight, he kept saying something stupid. He just doesn’t know how to not say something stupid.
After they settle in with some beers and a movie, it gets increasingly harder for Steve to focus on, well anything.
He’s basically missed the entire first half of this movie, instead he keeps taking too long and too frequent glances over to Eddie, who is sitting just a little too close to him, which is a major factor in Steve’s lack of focus. He keeps forgetting to focus on not slipping up, too. Once he and Eddie start talking, he can’t help himself. It’s just so easy that he forgets it’s supposed to be difficult.
When they’re talking, or even when they’re just in a comfortable silence, Steve forgets that Eddie doesn’t know, he forgets that Eddie doesn’t like him, he forgets that he’s worried about any of it. He’s just focused on Eddie, and that’s all that really matters.
Steve starts to realize that maybe the beer hasn’t helped him act normal, and that maybe that wasn’t his smartest move. But, he thinks he’s doing okay. Yeah, he’s still risking far too many glances Eddie’s way for it to not be weird, but he doesn’t think he’s been super obvious about it.
And yes, this time he’s staring again and he’s telling himself to stop, but somehow he just ends up resting his head on his hand and completely losing thought.
He doesn’t know why he thinks he’d get away this this, he hadn’t before. And just like last time, he gets caught. “You better stop looking at me like that, Harrington.” Eddie says, slow and quiet. He turns his head to face Steve. “You’re gonna give me ideas.”
Steve’s mouth goes dry and his heart is pounding in his ears, he thinks of a hundred lame excuses at once but can only manage a “hmm?”, hoping playing dumb would just work out for him.
Eddie rolls his eyes, “What’s on your mind? You’ve been looking at me for like five minutes.” he sits back and rests his own arm on the back of the couch, his body facing Steve’s. “I’m all ears, Harrington.”
Steve tries to blow out a laugh to seem casual, but feels like maybe it just makes him look more suspicious, “I-I haven’t been-“
“Steve,” Eddie raises his eyebrows. “Come on.”
Steve can’t help the small smile that spreads across his face, even though he feels absolutely crazy. He tries to think carefully and quickly about what to say, thinking about all the stupid stuff he wants to say and making sure none of that leave his lips. “I was just…I guess I-“ he sighs and looks at Eddie, who hasn’t taken his eyes off of Steve this whole time. He’s listening, whatever Steve says he’s going to listen and Steve doesn’t know if that’s good or bad. “I was just thinking, about something Robin said the other day.” He lies, thankful for his brain taking over for his heart.
“Yeah?” Eddie quirks a brow, “wanna share?”
“She said she thinks we should spend more time together,” Steve says, watching Eddie’s reaction for something he isn’t quite sure of. “I guess she thinks we make good friends.” Steve shrugs and keeps waiting for a reaction, even though he isn’t sure what he’s expecting. He’s unsure that he’s selling this, he wonders if Eddie knows he’s not saying everything. “I think she’s right.” He adds slowly before looking back at the tv, but only for a second before he feels Eddie’s fingers lightly press against his cheek and turn his face back to his.
Steve feels dizzy, drunk, he feels like he’s floating and he hopes that maybe out of all the outcomes he’s prepared for, he’d get a good one.
“You know what I think?” Eddie asks, and his voice is quiet and low, it makes Steve feel weak.
“Huh?” Steve says, and he can hear how dumb he sounds, his brain is just totally off. All he can see are brown eyes looking into his, all he can hear is his own heart pounding and all he can feel is Eddie’s fingers still resting on his face.
Eddie smiles, “I think…” he lets his fingers trail down Steve’s chin and neck, it’s quick but Steve can feel his heat lingering for longer than he knows is possible. Eddie sighs and glances at the screen, then back to Steve. “I think you should come over more.”
Steve nods slowly, closing his mouth, and trying to come back to life. He can’t get his mouth to form words, he just takes a swig of his beer and looks back at the tv. He’s trying to ignore the fact that now Eddie’s the one staring, he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to feel about it. Why is he staring? He glances over and accidentally makes eye contact. “What?” He laughs a little, in the back of his head he notes again that the beer is definitely not helping.
“Oh, so you can stare at me all night but it’s weird if I do it?”
“I was not staring.” Steve lies, knowing there’s almost no chance that Eddie would believe him.
“You know I have eyes right?” Eddie asks, “And i use them? And I use them to catch you staring at me.”
“Oh, will you shut up, Munson? So I looked at you?” Steve rolls his eyes, his argument half hearted, he’s loosening up and it feels good. He’s fighting to not say or do anything dumb, and he worries he’s going to lose. “What are you going to do about it? hmm?”
Eddie smirks at Steve, and Steve immediately realizes what he sets himself up for. He only realizes now that he might have done it on purpose. “I have a few ideas.” Eddie says after a second that feels like forever.
Steve’s brain checked out about ten minutes ago, he’s scrambling to think of anything to say, something that he can get out of this with. He settles for rolling his eyes and just pretending to watch the movie. After a minute, he feels Eddie move just a little closer, he uses up all of his focus to just keep his eyes on the tv.
“You know what’s weird?” Eddie says, breaking the silence that Steve desperately wanted. He can’t say something he shouldn’t if they’re not talking.
“Do you ever stop talking?” Steve asks, rolling his head to look at Eddie, happy to have a reason for once. He tries to sound annoyed but the smile on his lips betrays him.
“I thought all the Vecna, Upside Down, horror movie come to life stuff was going to be the weirdest experience of my life,” He says, and Steve is all of the sudden very aware of just how much closer Eddie got. “but this? You and me, hanging out, being…friends? This is definitely weirder.”
Steve laughs softly, “No, you’re right. It’s kind of weird.”
“It’s weird,” Eddie repeats, looking at Steve for a second before he takes a breath. “But, I like it.”
Steve’s heart races, and he can’t stop his eyes from darting to Eddie’s lips for just a fraction of a second. He nods, “I like it too.”
Eddie doesn’t take his eyes off of Steve, “Good,” He smiles, “You’re stuck with me now, Harrington.” He says, going back to the movie.
Steve takes the opportunity to internally panic, both of them sitting just a little too close to each other facing the screen. Steve reaches for his beer and starts going through what the fuck just happened. He isn’t sure if he’s reading too into things, or if he’s just seeing what he wants to. But he’s starting to think maybe Robin’s right, maybe Eddie -maybe- has some similar feelings. He can’t stop himself from testing the waters a little, hoping to not be as obvious as he feels. “So, y-you liked the uhm, other movie?” He stumbles out, looking ahead, a little afraid that if he looks at Eddie, he’ll give himself away.
“Yeah,” Eddie replies. “yeah, it was good.”
Steve decides he’s gotten this far and chances testing the water, “How’d the date go?”
“What?” Eddie looks at him, “Oh, yeah,” he laughs quietly. “It didn’t.”
Steve can’t stop himself from looking over, “It didn’t?”
Eddie watches him for a second, and Steve can tell he’s thinking something over. He’d give anything to know what. “Yeah, but it was for the best.” Eddie shrugs, “Wasn’t really what I want now anyway.”
Steve nods, “Well, she’s missing out.”
Eddie hums an agreement and goes back to looking at the screen.
Steve sits and tries to not get his hopes up for five minutes straight, and that’s when he feels Eddie’s fingers lightly brush against his own.
Steve instantly looks over at Eddie, who is focused completely on the screen in front of them. Steve blinks and looks back at the tv too. He doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t even know what to think. The only thing he knows right now is that he’s about to do something stupid.
He brushes his fingers against Eddie’s this time, slow and a little shaky. This time he ignores the other when he looks his way. Instead, Steve can’t even help himself and he does it again, this time letting his fingers go up to Eddie’s wrist, tracing against the edge of his bracelet.
They both go quiet and still for a second, and Steve starts to panic. Why did he do that? But why did Eddie start it? His face is burning and his hands feel empty and cold.
The panic subsides quickly when he feels Eddie’s fingers graze against the top of his hand. He smiles, and looks over at Eddie.
This time Eddie looks back, his head resting on the back of the couch, “What?” He asks, innocently as if nothing is going on.
Steve can feel the heat coming from Eddie, they’re so close and all he wants to do is fill the space that separates them. He looks at Eddie for a minute, he swears he hears those records from the other night playing somewhere in the back of his mind, or maybe it’s real he can’t tell. Nothing really feels real.
Steve’s starting to get exhausted, he’s not good at this. He’s not good at hiding feelings, he’s not good at lying, he’s not good at pretending. He thinks if he doesn’t leave right now he’s going to lose.
“I might do something stupid.” He says without thinking, reason and sense left him the second Eddie touched his hand.
“I don’t doubt that.” Eddie quips, smiling softly. He waits for a second to see if Steve is going to continue, and Steve notices. But he can’t bring himself to move or talk. Luckily Eddie rolls his eyes a little and keeps talking, “If you’re gonna do something stupid, promise to do it with me.” He whispers, Steve can nearly feel his breath on his face.
Steve looks at him, he’s grasping at excuses and subject changes in his mind but he can’t seem to hang on to any long enough to stop himself from thinking about kissing Eddie Munson. As soon as the thought enters his mind it consumes him. He remembers Eddie said something, and he pulls his eyes from Eddie’s mouth to his eyes, unsure of how long they’d been there. “I really-“ he stops himself, unsure of how he’d finish that sentence, the words on his tongue trying to escape. “I uh,-“ He tries to turn away from him, he tries to pretend things aren’t as intense as they feel. He tries, but he can’t and he’s right back to looking at Eddie, right back to trying to figure out what to do, how to tell him without saying it, how to make this less awkward. His thoughts are interrupted, and he’s almost thankful.
“Steve,” Eddie says, quietly with a new air of seriousness to his tone that Steve isn’t expecting. “Whatever it is that you want to tell me…” he trails off, and without any plan they both move a little closer, Eddie doesn’t look away from Steve this time when he moves his fingers against his. “I’m waiting.” he finally says, and doesn’t move away.
Steve can’t take anymore, he feels like he’s not dreaming for the first time. He feels like this is real, he didn’t make this up, it’s not in his head. He likes Eddie, and he can’t help but think that Eddie likes him too. He feels another soft stroke against his palm and he gives up. He takes Eddie’s hand, finally threading their fingers together. “Yeah, well-“ he starts, he looks from their hands, back to Eddie, he can barely catch his breath as he leans in, stalling for another moment to be absolutely sure he’s not dreaming, but then Eddie leans in slowly and he stops caring about any of the things he was worried about before. “I’m done waiting.” Steve says, before he finally closes the distance between them, slowly. He brings a hand up to thread through Eddie’s hair, and it’s just as soft as he’d imagined. He feels Eddie kiss him back, it nearly knocks him out. Eddie brings up a hand to rest on Steve’s side, and pulls him closer, he can’t stop the small noise he makes.
Out of every scenario he planned, every version of this he rehearsed in his head, nothing compared to how it actually felt. His heart is pounding, his hands are shaking while he runs them over Eddie’s body, he feels like he’s on fire, he’s overwhelmed but in the best way.
Everything gets a little colder though when he and Eddie finally pull apart, he desperately wants to just dive right back in but he takes a second to try to wrap his head around everything. The nerves start to creep back in quickly as he worries if he’s made a mistake. What if he read everything wrong?
He takes a breath, hoping he doesn’t let any of his panic show. He looks away and shudders out a soft laugh. “Sorry, I-“ he stops and looks over at Eddie, unsure of what to say or do.
But Eddie’s watching him, looking a little unsure himself. “So…” he starts slowly, both of them backing away a little. “Do we…talk about it or-“
“I like you.” Steve says, surprising even himself. He didn’t mean to say it, he didn’t plan on ever telling Eddie Munson that he liked him. He doesn’t know why he can’t stop, he couldn’t stop himself from touching Eddie, he couldn’t stop himself from kissing him, and now he’s just telling him this and he doesn’t know how to stop. He blames the alcohol but knows it’s not that. The words have been threatening to leave his lips since he realized they were there.
Eddie raises his eyebrows, giving Steve a second. “Yeah?” he grins, just kinda beaming at Steve expectantly, and patiently.
Steve sighs, realizing there’s nothing he can do now. He’s done everything he promised himself he wouldn’t, and now he’s just going to have to follow through with it and hope for the best. “Yeah,” he rolls his eyes a little when he notices the smug expression on Eddie’s face. “I can’t believe it, but yes, Munson. I like you.”
“See, I knew you had a crush on me.” Eddie says, before getting a little closer.
“Oh my god,” Steve groans a little, “don’t even start.”
Eddie laughs softly, and relaxes back into the couch again, glancing back at the credits rolling on the screen. “I’m gonna be honest, I don’t think I even know what happened in this movie.” He turns to Steve, fidgeting a little with his hands and watching him a second, “It doesn’t matter though, cause I didn’t ask you to come over for a movie. It was just an excuse to see you.” He waits a second before looking head again.
He starts to feel nervous again, but it’s different than before. Fears and uncertainty are now replaced with a need to get this right. It’s been a while since he’s gotten something he’s wanted, he doesn’t wanna ruin it. “You didn’t need an excuse.”
Eddie smiles, he barely glances away from the static on the tv, “This might surprise you, Harrington, but I’m not the best at talking about feelings.” He admits, locking eyes with Steve, “But, I like you too, okay?”
Sure, Steve kind of got that already, but hearing Eddie say it still made his stomach flip. He smiles a little, trying to wrap his head around it. He likes him. Eddie likes Steve.
Steve finally starts to feel better, his world is changing again, but it’s slowing down a little. He feels like even if he doesn’t know what happens next, or what he’s supposed to do or say, he’s going to be alright. He can’t remember the last time he felt like he was going to be alright, so he tries to soak it in while he can. “So…what now?” He asks, smiling a little nervously.
Eddie looks like he’s pretending to think about it, looking up at nothing with a small smile, tapping a finger against his lips, “Well, we could watch another movie.” He suggests, looking at Steve, and something about this look makes Steve feel nervous, but not in a bad way.
Steve takes a breath, he tries to assess the situation, trying to figure out if Eddie is implying what he hopes he is. “We didn’t even watch the last one.” He reminds him.
“Yeah, we aren’t going to watch the next one either, Harrington.” Eddie says, leaning close and pressing his lips to Steve’s, barely giving him time to react before he stands up. “Stay there, I get to pick this time.”
Steve just watches as Eddie runs off to find a movie, he feels completely dumbfounded as he takes this in. He attempts to figure out the exact moment this started, but quickly realizes he doesn’t actually care. It wouldn’t make a difference.
Eddie puts the movie into the VCR and quickly turns back to Steve, walking over to him, “The goal here, by the way, is to see as little of this fuckin’ movie as possible.” He says, before threading this fingers into Steve’s hair and kissing him, pushing him back onto the couch. “Sound good?” Eddie says, after a few seconds, taking a breath and pulling back to look at Steve.
Steve nods quickly, “Sounds great.” he pulls Eddie back down into another kiss, feeling him smile against his lips. He doesn’t care about anything other than this right now, he just wants to get as close to Eddie as he can. And he does, they spend the whole night together tangled up, nothing but the tv and the post lamp outside shining in the dark.
When Steve leaves, he kisses Eddie goodbye, this time he doesn’t feel like he’s forgetting anything, but he still doesn’t want to go, he’s already counting down until he can come back. And when he drives away, he checks his rear view and catches Eddie watching him drive away again and Steve knows he’s going to spend another night awake thinking about Eddie Munson.
He still isn’t sure how this happened, he knows he could sit and think about it forever before it made sense, but it doesn’t have to make sense. It doesn’t matter to him how he got here, he’s just happy that he‘s here now.
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✨️1K Followers Celebration Day 7: Stray Kids bias wrecker - Jisung✨️
The Heat
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AN: We have reached the end of my milestone celebration! Thank you to all of you, new and old, for your support. You have no idea how much it all means to me <3 Time to end this celebration off with my other other arch nemesis lol.
Synopsis: When your roommate brings home a bag of strange cookies, you two don't think much of it. Assuming whoever sold them to him was lying about them containing an aphrodisiac. You both quickly come to realise that you were very, very incorrect.
Heads up: Han Jisung x Fem! Reader, Roommates AU, dub-con elements (because Reader and Jisung are under the influence of an aphrodisiac, but they do genuinely want each other), mentions of masturbation, dirty talk, nipple play (f. receiving), unprotected piv sex, Reader cries a little, Jisung cums pretty quickly, mentions of multiple orgasms, unrealistic sex (Jisung cums more than once and remains hard), hypersensitivity, some usage of a petname for Reader and a barely there praise kink (f. receiving).
Word count: 3658
I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.
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"You'll never guess what I found!" Your roommate yells, all but slamming the front door open in his excitement.
"Hello to you too, Jisung," you respond dryly but, your curiosity is piqued. Angling yourself to get a better view of the brown paper bag in his grasp from your position on the couch.
"Sorry, hi. I'm just really hyped," he responds sheepishly, plopping down beside you, "but look!"
You're not sure what you were expecting, but a bag filled with cookies certainly wasn't it. "Uh, they look good?" You offer, not really understanding what makes these cookies in particular so special. The little pink hearts on them are very cute, you'll give them that much.
"No, no listen. These aren't just any old cookies. Minho and I stumbled across this kind of weird looking bakery, and the lady who runs it said these cookies are mixed with some really potent aphrodisiacs,"
Yeah, this is not how you anticipated your Saturday to unfold at all.
"So... you bought them from an apparently really shady bakery and just trusted what that lady said?"
Your words take a few seconds to register in his mind. Big eyes blinking at you owlishly. If he hadn't just admitted to something so stupid, you'd reach over to squish his cheeks because of how endearing he looks right now.
"Well, when you put it like that..."
It takes a great deal of effort on your part not to drag your hand down your face.
"Minho should really stop enabling all of your impulsive purchases and ideas,"
"To be fair, he was the one who dragged me into the bakery. I just happened to stumble across these," he says, motioning to the bag now staring at the two of you on your coffee table.
"My point still stands. Why did you buy so many anyway? Why not just get a few if you just wanted to test them out?"
"They were running a special," he mutters.
"I didn't realise you were this naive. I have some magic beans to sell you if you're interested," you tease, grinning as the tips of his ears redden.
"Ha ha ha. Very funny. They weren't that pricey anyway so, luckily I didn't spend much," he reaches for the bag, fishing out a cookie.
"Woah hey, what're you doing?"
"Eating the cookies I bought? Like you said, I'm sure they're a scam, so I might as well eat them since I spent money on them," he responds with a shrug. Your anxiety building watching him take his first bite.
"Oh, they're pretty good, actually. Want one?" He asks, turning his big brown eyes onto you. Now, how are you supposed to say no when he looks at you with those eyes?
"If these are poisoned or something, I swear I'm going to haunt you," you respond, and your roommate takes that as a green light.
"We'll both be ghosts then. I don't think ghosts can haunt each other," he says with a laugh, the brushes of his fingers against yours feeling like electricity as he hands you a cookie.
You choose to essentially shove the cookie in your mouth to avoid dealing with that particular can of worms. Jisung was right. They are delicious. Flavours of strawberry with faint hints of chocolate caressing your taste buds. Maybe they were worth turning into a ghost for if the worst comes to pass, you think.
"See? They're good, right?"
"Yeah, I can't even lie. That's one of the best cookies I've ever had. If we survive this, you should show this oddball bakery to me,"
"Oh," and you immediately regret admitting to him that you actually liked it, "how the tables have turned. What was that you were saying earlier about reckless purchases?"
Rolling your eyes, you stand up in order to get ready for bed. Jisung's smugness more than enough motivation to finally get your ass off the couch.
"Goodnight Jisung," you say, waving him off.
"Goodnight," you don't even need to turn around to see the smirk stretched across his face. You can hear it clear as day.
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Everything feels like it's on fire when you wake up the following morning.
You're absolutely drenched in sweat and your throat is beyond dry. Perhaps the oddest realisation of all is that you're wet. As in, obscenely so. Your thighs are smeared in it and you're almost certain it's leaked all the way onto your bedsheets.
What the hell?
It takes you some very long minutes to blink your bleary eyes open. Your muddled mind working a mile a minute to try and make sense of all of this. Last night hadn't been that hot so, there should be no reason why you're this sweaty. Plus, from what you can remember at the very least, you hadn't touched yourself before turning in for the night. So why in the world are you this wet? And more than that, why does it hurt so much more than usual?
'What is going on?' Is that question that echoes through your skull as you join the world of the conscious. You're due for a shower and a change of sheets, you think. You feel pretty disgusting at the moment, and a shower might just be what you need to help calm you down. An ice cold one.
On perhaps the strangest morning you've experienced to date, you don't expect to bump into a shirtless Jisung with a towel wrapped around his slim waist.
You've seen your roommate without a shirt more times than you can count at this point. However, it's never made you feel like this before.
The throbbing gets worse. So, so much worse. Warmth flooding your face when you feel yourself gush onto the fresh pair of sleeping shorts you'd just changed into. Jisung is an attractive man. A very, very attractive man. You've had no qualms with admitting that in the most private parts of your mind and on nights when images of him between your thighs are the only thoughts that can push you off of the proverbial edge.
But it's never been like this.
"Morning," he says gruffly. God, that just made it worse. If you weren't too lost in your own spiral, you'd notice his blown out pupils and the glassy quality to his eyes. How they shamelessly rake over your body. How he has to adjust his hold on his towel so you don't notice how hard he is. How hard he's been for what feels like hours now.
"Morning," you squeak back in response once your higher order functions return to you. Practically slamming the bathroom door in his face and, sagging against it once you're alone.
What is wrong with you?
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Taking a shower was minimally successful. At least you're no longer drenched in various body fluids, but you still feel as though there's molten lava coursing through your veins. Everything is just so hot.
Touching yourself while you were in there didn't help either. If anything, it only added fuel to the inferno that seems hell bent on swallowing you whole from the inside out. Maybe you're just in desperate need of a good fuck. It has been longer than you care to admit since you last slept with someone. That Changbin guy was nice and ridiculously attractive. Perhaps you should give him a call.
You're disrupted from your thoughts when you hear a tentative knock at your bedroom door. Jisung. Oh no, you're not sure if you can handle looking at him right now, let alone being in the same room with him. Your mind has been replaying the encounter from this morning over and over again. Even that hadn't helped you cum in a satisfactory way. Which is insane because thinking about him works 11 times out of 10. You must really need to be fucked.
However, you're not a child. You're not going to avoid your roommate and your friend just because you're a little (okay, maybe it's more than a little) more sexually frustrated than usual. You're more mature than that.
"Come in," you say, cringing at the hoarseness in your voice.
To your relief (and mild disappointment), Jisung has a shirt on. Though, the way the tank top leaves his broad shoulders and biceps completely uncovered isn't helping the to soothe the squirming of your insides.
Jisung looks exactly how you feel: like a total wreck. His hair is in dissary and sticking to his damp forehead and his cheeks are flushed with an appealing dust of pink. You wonder if this is what he'd look like underneath you.
"What's up?" You croak, looking at your bedroom door as though it's the most interesting object you've ever seen. He may have a shirt on, but you're not sure you can handle looking at him for too long right now. For both of your sakes.
"Does it feel hot as fuck for you today too? I don't know what's been going on, but I already took two showers today, and I still feel like I might pass out from heat stroke," he says, making himself comfortable on your bed. While not out of the oddinary, having him so close to you is sending your barely coherent mind into panic. The desire to straddle his incredibly welcoming looking lap clawing at your insides.
"Yeah, it does feel a lot hotter than usual today. Maybe there's a ventilation issue or something in our place? Because I checked the weather and it the temperature for the day is on the cooler side, funnily enough," you respond, wiping some excess sweat off of your forehead. So, you're not the only one who seems to feel...off, weird even today. Whatever is happening appears to be affecting Jisung too.
"Really? That's so weird. I thought maybe there was a heat wave or something. I don't know how much more of this I can take," he sighs, throwing himself down. The bottom of his tank top exposing a sliver of his toned abdomen. Fuck.
Before your mind can assault you with fantasies of covering his abs in your wetness, that's when it hits you. Those damn cookies. They have to be the reason you're like this and that you suspect Jisung is experiencing something very similar.
"Jisung, I think I know why we're feeling so hot right now," you rush out, fingers absentmindedly toying with your blanket.
"Really? Well, I'm all ears," he responds, turning to give you all of his attention.
Fuck, how did you not realise it sooner? Jisung's eyes are almost black with how dilated his pupils are. Desire flashing like a neon sign on his face.
You really can't afford to soak through another pair of shorts right now. Focus.
"I think the cookies - I think the cookies weren't a scam," you mutter, hugging your legs to your chest. Your face is so warm that you're surprised the heat from it isn't radiating off of you.
He just keeps looking at you. You know the moment your words sink in because his face quickly shifts from a pretty, pink flush to an almost scarlet red. His mouth opening and closing as he grapples with what to even say to you.
"What? What makes you think that?" It's his turn to squeak and avoid your gaze. Seemingly fascinated with your ceiling.
"What else could it be? We both had them yesterday, and now we're sweating buckets and -" You cut yourself off. Jisung doesn't need to know you've been wet all day. You should probably keep that part to yourself.
However, the universe is determined to make you suffer, "And what?" He asks, meeting your eyes briefly before turning away. His teeth toying with his bottom lip.
"It-It's fine. Don't worry about it, but, um just trust me. I really think those cookies are the reason we're like this," You stutter out, studiously ignoring the lecherous thoughts creeping back into your mind.
Jisung doesn't say anything at first. Just laying there before sitting up once more, his hand ruffling his hair, "I wasn't kidding when I said I don't know much of this I can take. I feel like I'm losing my mind."
That you can relate to. Intimately.
"The solution is pretty obvious," you joke in an attempt to lighten the thick tension in the air. It almost makes it difficult to even breathe properly.
Your words have the opposite effect, however. Startled, fiery brown eyes meeting your own. Jisung looks like he's seriously considering it, and you're not sure whether your stomach knots itself in hope or anxiety.
"Jisung, I was-"
"Do you want to?"
Now it's your turn to stare at him in stunned silence. Probably looking like an absolute buffoon gaping at him. Is he joking? Is this his way of getting back at you?
"Wha-What?" Comes your brilliant response.
"Do you want to?" He repeats, both looking and sounding deathly serious.
"You don't have to do this, you know. If you don't want to. We can j-"
"I want to," he interrupts again, his cheeks darkening, but he doesn't falter in his words.
Your very hot, very kind, very funny roommate is offering himself on a silver platter. Even if you weren't so wet you could die, you'd be an idiot to say no.
"Okay," you whisper, meeting his eyes head on. Your heart thundering against your chest as you watch him shift closer to you. Barely any space left between the two of you. You're not sure who moves first, and it ultimately doesn't matter because after months of fantasising about it, Jisung's mouth is finally on yours.
Maybe it's the cookies, but your first kiss isn't gentle or slow or sweet. It's fierce and messy and desperate from the very beginning. Your hands not sure where they want to settle themselves. Alternating between pulling on his hair, pulling the most delicious whimpers from him or steadying yourself on his muscular shoulders while you two fall deeper into each other.
The gasp that leaves your mouth when Jisung nestles himself between your thighs is loud and throaty. He's hard. So hard and so hot that you can feel the heat radiating from him even through your respective clothing. Jisung wastes no time in covering your throat and jaw in sloppy, uncoordinated kisses while he shallowly grinds his erection against you. Greedily searching for any semblance of relief he can possibly find.
"Ji-Jisung," you moan, arching into his touch when one of his hands gives your breast an experimental squeeze. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he groans against your neck between licks and nips, thumbing at your already hard nipple through your shirt.
"Re-Really?" You manage to ask through the fog. "Really," he responds, impatiently shoving your shirt up and taking one of your nipples into his mouth. To say you were unprepared for the sensation of being enveloped in his wet, warm mouth would be putting it lightly. You're so much more sensitive than usual. It might be the cookies, or it might just be Jisung. Probably a dangerous mixture of the two.
You've never cum just from having your breasts played with but, there's a first time for everything if the increasing wetness staining your shorts and inner thighs is any indication. Jisung, for his part, is content to spend hours with your tits in his face and in his mouth. Licking, sucking and fondling to his heart's content while he desperately humps your thigh. The dream, really.
He's about to whine when you tug him off of you, but he's shut up by your tongue being shoved down his throat. Your hands frantically pushing his tank top up and off of him until his bare torso is free for you to explore. Smiling into him when he whimpers at the way your nails rake across his skin. A pitchy 'fuck' greeting your ears when you accidentally brush one of his nipples. Oh. Interesting.
Kissing and touching him is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, Jisung is fantastic with his mouth, and his firm chest is incredibly fun to explore. Figuring out which places garner you groans or whimpers or whines. Which ones make him grind into harder. Which leads to the other hand. You're so soaked and painfully empty, and kissing him isn't helping to soothe any of those flames.
"Jisung," you mutter against his mouth, your hands ghosting over the waistband of his sweats. Delighting in the way he shudders above you and his abdominal muscles jump under your barely there touches.
"Ye-Yeah?"
"I want you to fuck me, please," you whine into his ear, lightly biting down on his lobe, "it hurts."
Jisung exhales a very long sigh against your throat, "You're going to kill me."
A breathless laugh bubbles out of you when he pulls away to shove his sweats down. Any trace of humour vanishes quickly when his cock smacks against his toned stomach. He's so hard that it looks painful, flushed an angry shade of red, and glistening with pre-cum. You can't help but stare. Your walls clamping down harshly around nothing.
"I thought you wanted to get fucked?" He asks with an arrogant grin on his stupidly handsome face.
"Shut up," you respond, lifting your hips and letting your shorts join the heap of clothing on your bedroom floor. It's your turn to feel a little smug when Jisung's eyes zero in on your pussy. You don't think you've ever been this wet in your entire life, and you're too far gone to have any semblance of self-consciousness or embarrassment.
Jisung returns to his position between your thighs before you can fire out any quips, his cock nudging your entrance causing your head to spin and a soft moan to slip from you. "Stop teasing," you whine, wrapping your legs around his waist and clinging to his broad back.
"So-Sorry," is all the warning you receive before he very gradually starts sinking into you. god, it's never felt like this. Ever. With anyone else. Tears accumulate in your eyes, and a few roll down your face with every inch he pushes into you.
"Are you okay?" He asks lowly, kissing your cheek repeatedly and halting his movements.
"Yeah. Yes, Ji, I'm fine. Please don't stop," you practically moan, clawing into his back when he mumbles a curse and continues.
You can barely think, let alone breathe when he's fully sheathed inside of you. His cock pulsing inside of you violently and Jisung quivering above you, hushed moans of your name and whimpers being pressed into your shoulder. A whine hitting your ears when you squirm a little and tighten your hold around his waist.
"Wait, fuck. Wait, don't move," he moans, his hands grounding himself with his hold on your pillowy thighs. You struggle to comprehend his words. Everything is so muddled and overwhelming, and he just feels so fucking good, and he hasn't even moved yet.
At first, you assume Jisung's increase in sounds of pleasure and throbbing inside of you is just because he's as overwhelmed as you are. Every single nerve feeling like it's engulfed in flames. However, when his strained apologies register, you realise he came. Hot spurts of his cum flooding your eager pussy and open-mouthed kisses being pressed into your shoulder between apologies.
"Ji-Jisung,"
"I'm fuck I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to. It just happened. Fuck you must think I'm so pathetic-"
"Jisung, stop. It-It's okay. That was really hot actually," you mutter, and you mean it. If anything, you're flattered that you managed to make him cum so fast.
"What? Really?" He asks, blinking down at him. His pretty eyes beyond fucked out and sweat dotting his face. God, he's so pretty. Your pussy clenching involuntarily.
"Yea- Wait, are you still hard?" You ask, only realising now that he's still nestled deeply inside of you despite the cum that's gradually starting to dribble out of you.
He looks as shocked as you. Seemingly not realising that his own cock hadn't softened in the slightest. "Holy shit," he breathes, thrusting into you experimentally, drawing a whimper and your nails biting into his back in reaction.
"Remind me to go back to that bakery," he utters into your throat. Giving you little time to adjust before picking up his pace considerably. Between your wetness and his cum, he fucks into you easily. Your combined noises of pleasure echoing throughout your bedroom while you two lose yourselves in one another.
You've been teetering on the edge for what feels like ages. All it takes is for Jisung to find your sweet spot for your eyes to roll into the back of your head and your back to arch into him. Your lovely, lovely roommate fucking you through it all and exploiting your newly discovered weakness.
"That's it, baby," he groans into your ear, his hands holding you firmly in place and making you take each and every thrust he gives you, "You're taking me so well. You're doing so good."
Those words are going to be replaying in your mind for the rest of your life.
Your mind is utterly blank as the most intense orgasm you've ever experienced wreaks your body. Your thighs shaking violently, and your hands holding onto Jisung for dear life while you tighten around him. Fuck. Fuck. You're so full, and it's so much, but not enough at the same time.
"More, please. Jisung, please. I want more," you cry out, not caring in the slightest about the pathetic, desperate edge to your voice. All you're capable of thinking about is cumming on his cock over and over again and, him filling you with his cum until it's still leaking out of you days later.
"I've got you, baby," he whispers, the pet name he's grown a fondness for causing butterflies to arise in your stomach.
"We're far from being finished."
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sstxrn-4l · 2 months
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Matt Sturniolo - NSFW Alphabet
A/N - I'm a devoted Chris girl but I still love Matt the munch😍 also do we like the theme on my page???
Warnings: SMUTTT
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A - Aftercare (What they're like after sex)
gets you EVERYTHING. gets a wet towel and cleans you up, gets you a bottle of water and some of his clothes to wear. literally the sweetest. like he could absolutely destroy you and then be all soft and shit.
B - Body part (Thier favorite body part on themself and their partner's)
for him it's definitely his hands. he loves when you look at his veins sticking out when he fingers you. and he loves how good he can make you feel with them.
for you, he LOVES your tits. like literally adores them. not even just in the sexual way either, like they make great pillows too. He loves to watch them bounce every time he thrusts into you.
C - Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
Ok I feel like he'd love to cum inside you, but if you're not cool with that then it's definitely gonna be on your stomach or your tits.
D - Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
I feel like he'd like to choke you. not enough to hurt you, just slightly. but yeah I think he'd be into that but be scared to tell you cus he doesn't want you to be weirded out
E - Experience (How experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)
I feel like he for sure has 1, 2 maybe even 3 bodies. he totally knows what he's doing though. even if he only has 1 body. but everyone is different, so once he finds what makes you feel good (it only takes the first time y'all do it for him to figure it out) he's set.
F - Favorite position (goes without saying)
I'd say he really likes cowgirl just so your tits can be right in front of his face. he'd probably take control though, like holding your hips so he can thrust up into you. because even if he wants you on top of him, he definitely still wants to have control.
G - Goofy (Are they more serious during the moment or more goofy?)
This man has to be serious. Like I feel like if something stupid happens he'll laugh for a moment before pounding into you again.
H - Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)
Keeps it trimmed for sure. I mean we've all seen the happy trail so he's got some hair. Literally does not give a shit for you. There is no "oh we can't I haven't shaved." Mans will braid that shit if you asked him to.
I - Intimacy (How are they during the moment?)
He's definitely very intimate. Even if he's breaking your back and calling you a slut, he still lets you know he loves you (I'm so bad at this one wtf)
J - Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)
Not very often. He will not hesitate to ask you straightforward. Y'all could be chilling on the couch and this kid's like "can we fuck?" But when he's on tour or you're away for whatever reason, definitely down for phone sex.
K - Kink (One or more of their kinks)
I feel like he's got a teeny tiny bit of a breeding kink. Loves to degrade and praise you at the same time. "You're so pretty when you act like a slut." "Such a good girl with my cock down your throat." I think he'd be into spanking, maybe a little little bit of choking.
L - Location (Favorite places to do it)
His favorite is definitely the bedroom. But y'all have probably fucked on every surface of his place and yours. I feel like he'd also love to fuck you in the car. Like he's picking up Nick and Chris and while y'all are waiting for them, he'd fuck you in the backseat.
M - Motivation (What gets them going?)
This one's hard because this man will find everything you do hot. I feel like if you were to whisper dirty things in his ear that would be like the hottest thing in the world. Or you maybe do something that seems innocent but only you two would understand. Play a song in the car that you two fucked to last night??? Gets his memory going and he wants to do everything over again.
N - No (Something they would never do)
Anything that can hurt you more than spanking or choking (knife play, gun play, blood play, etc.) If you're into that shit, great! But he's absolutely never trying it. He also wouldn't be into any anal shit. He's not letting you near his ass and he's not getting near yours. And absolutely no toes are getting sucked. Ever.
O - Oral (Giving, receiving, skill)
This man... he could have you cum in 3 minutes with his tongue. He loves eating you out. He doesn't only to it to please you, like he gets pleasure from eating you out. Of course he loves when you give him a blowjob too. He probably starts off letting you do all the work, but as time goes on, he's full on fucking your face. He also grabs your hair when you give him a blowjob too.
P - Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)
It really depends on his mood and your mood. If you're feeling insecure or sad and he wants to make you feel better, he's slow, whispering how beautiful you are, taking his time to kiss every single inch of your body. He also is really slow when he wakes up with morning wood and he's still tired. Now, if he's jealous? GOD DAMN. Kid has you babbling about how good it feels. You can't even form a coherent sentence.
Q - Quickie (Their opinion on quickies. How often?)
He's busy. So he doesn't always have time to fuck you right. He probably doesn't like them that much, but they happen pretty often because he's got shit to do. He'd much rather take an hour or two, but desperate times call for desperate measures.1
R - Risk (Are they down to take risks?)
100% he'll try almost anything once, as long as you're okay with it. Now there are things that he wouldn't try, but I already said that stuff for No so I'm not going into it here.
S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
I think he could go for maybe 2-3 rounds. 4 if y'all haven't seen each other in like a week or two. I think he could last if he needed to, but normally he just wants to cum at the same time as you.
T - Toys (Do they own toys? Who do they use it on?)
He probably owns 1 vibrator. He uses it on you though. The one he owns is probably one of those that can be controlled from an app, and he uses it for when he's recording and you're still at home.
U - Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)
GOOD LORD. He will tease you until you're begging to be touched in any way. And if you even think about teasing him, you're in for a long night. Bro is such a tease it's insane.
V - Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)
I'd say he's pretty loud, but he also just wants to hear the sounds that you make. He definitely groans in your ear though. He's loud enough that you can always hear him, but he's quiet enough to be able to hear you.
W - Wild Card (A random headcanon)
I think he lowkey wants you to give him head while he's driving, but he doesn't want to ask you in case you're scared he'll crash or something.
X - X-ray (Let's see what's going on under those clothes)
Ok so we've all seen how Chris never wears fucking underwear apparently. So assuming they're about the same size, DAMN. So he's definitely long, but probably not super girthy.
Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Pretty high. Like not to the point where it's an unhealthy addiction, but you're just hot as hell, it's not his fault. AT LEAST 3-4 times a week.
Z - Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep after?)
Always waits for you to fall asleep first. As soon as he knows you're sleeping, he's out.
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YAYYYYY it's been like 3 weeks and I finally finished one of the two projects I'm working on!!! I might have to do a Chris versionnnnn
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Steddie Upside-down AU Part 20
Part 1 Part 19
Steve’s shirt is wet where Eddie’s face is pushed into it, and Will’s hand is clutching his arm tight enough to hurt. Steve wants to sink into it. But the door's still open, and Wayne’s shotgun is lost in the woods somewhere. He hopes the man won't be too mad.
"Okay, okay," Steve says, taking two shuffling steps forward. "Let go of me."
The arms encircling his waist drop him instantly. His own weight settles back into his heels at the same instant the vertigo hits. A small hand clutches his elbow, keeping him upright with a grunt of strain.
"Shit, Harrington, sorry," Eddie says, voice warbling. "What do you need? What do I do?"
"Just–" he closes his eyes, listing sideways. He's so tired. "The door, Eddie."
The door closes with a quiet creak, lock sliding home with a metallic snick!
It's a tissue paper door, Steve knows it's a tissue paper door, but his legs go out anyway, finally safe enough to drop. Eddie catches him, hands clutching hips as he practically drags him to the couch.
"You're okay," Eddie says. "You're okay, right?"
Steve nods. His forehead lances with pain every time he grimaces, and his cheek throbs. The wound on his shoulder has definitely reopened, and something unpleasant had happened to his ribs when he'd fallen in the woods. But he’s fine.
Will interrupts the conversation by dumping the remains of the Munson's medicine cabinet on the coffee table.
"You're bleeding," he says.
"Shit, right," Eddie replies, rifling through the contents. It's slim pickings, but Eddie plucks up a few bandages and gets to work.
His mouth is a moue of concentration as he combs Steve's hair off his forehead and puts bandages across the entirety of the laceration before blessedly leaving it alone once he reaches the hairline.
Eddie's prodding the bruise on Steve's cheek hard enough to feel the bone, when Will asks, "My Mom?"
"She's fine, Byers." He tries to smile, but loses the will halfway through, closing his eyes.
Will bursts into tears. "Thank you," he says.
Steve flops his hand forward. Will takes it. Steve doesn’t realize how cold his fingers are until Will’s warmth starts leeching into him.
"Your Mom's a badass, baby Byers," Eddie says. "She was always going to be fine."
Steve hums his agreement, too tired to vocalize. There, sitting up on Eddie's ratty couch, covered in dirt and blood, Steve falls asleep with Eddie's palm cupping his cheek and Will’s hand in his.
He's not sure how long he sleeps, but when he awakens, Eddie's sitting with his back to the couch. His hair's plastered to his head with grease and grime, and he's starting to smell a little. Steve wants to cry at the sight of him.
"Eddie?" he asks.
Eddie turns to him, a finger to his lips as he gestures his head toward where Will's sleeping in the recliner across the room.
"Back with me, big boy?" Eddie whispers.
Steve nods. "Did you guys make it out okay?"
Eddie scoffs. "We were fine, man." His eyes well, a few tears running down his cheeks. He swipes them away impatiently. "We thought you were dead."
Steve feels small, his voice comes out even smaller. "I'm sorry."
Eddie turns back around, back pressing into the couch, eyes trained on the door. Steve reaches his fingers out, rubbing back and forth slowly, consolingly. "Thanks for coming back."
Steve's breath hitches. It wasn't a sure thing. The line between Steve coming back and Eddie finding Steve's body decomposing in the Byers' driveway was razor thin. He should know - it's painted along his forehead in claw marks, painted in the way his vision is still a little red with the blood that had dripped into his eyes.
"Anytime," Steve says. Does it count as a lie when he really wants to mean it?
"Good, because we're like, out of water, dude," Eddie laughs. "The kid's the only one smart enough not to forget his backpack.”
"Fuck!" Steve says, a little too loudly. Will stirs, then settles. "Not the quarry again."
Eddie laughs, but not like he thinks it’s funny. “Yeah, man. I’m with ya, but there’s the kid to think about now.”
They both look over at Will. His face is smushed into the back of the chair, knees curled up to his chest beneath the blanket Eddie must’ve given him, like even in sleep, he’s doing everything he can to make himself a smaller target. Something unfamiliar in Steve’s gut wrenches.
He doesn’t want to go back there, maybe ever, but especially not right now. Right now, the thought of crossing the threshold out into the wider world makes ants crawl under his skin.
The Demogorgon’s claws are still parting his skin like butter every time he moves wrong. They’d moved through him as easily as Steve’s Father’s knife had while he’d skinned the deer, Steve standing beside him as he tries his best not to cry.
Steve doesn’t want to be the deer. But the shotgun is gone, and so the hunter must become the hunted.
“I lost the gun,” Steve says.
Eddie’s shoulder slump, Steve’s hand falls, settling in the crack between the couch and the middle of his back, stuck there when Eddie leans back into it. “I figured,” he sighs, sounding disappointed, like maybe there’d still been a glimmer of hope that Steve had just snuffed out.
Silence descends. It feels like the force of gravity kicked up a notch, the way the quiet fogs over him and pushes him down down down. The silence drowns, let’s the Demogorgon prowl through his mind. Eddie Munson throws him a brick disguised as a life preserver.
“I saw your shoulder,” he says, barely audible.
“Oh.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Eddie asks, turning around completely, back to the door. His eyes are wide. Steve can’t read his face at all.
“What’s there to do?”
Eddie sighs. “Nothing, maybe,” he says, spinning his rings on his fingers nervously. “I cleaned it up as best I could, but that’s bad, man. We’ve gotta get you out of here.”
Steve’s eyes flit over to where Will’s still sleeping, but Eddie’s eyes stay planted firmly on his face. He doesn’t answer, what’s there to say? There’s no way out of here.
“Let’s just get water so we can stay alive, just a little bit longer,” Eddie says when it becomes clear that Steve has nothing left to say.
Steve nods, asking, “should we bring the kid?”
Eddie opens his mouth to respond, but Will beats him to it. “I’m not a kid,” he says, clearly still half a sleep with the way his words are slurring together. “I’m coming.”
“He’s right,” Eddie says. “I mean, not about the kid thing, he’s definitely an infant, but we can’t leave him unprotected.”
“Hey,” Will mumbles, burrowing into the chair further and falling back asleep, clearly reassured that he won’t be left behind.
“We can’t keep him safe,” Steve whispers.
Eddie reaches out, pats his knee. Steve misses the warmth when he pulls it back.
“We’ll do what we can.”
Steve doesn’t want to go back out there. They’re safe in here, hidden away. But he will. Because Eddie asked, and Will needs him. That’s more than he’s had in a while.
He hopes it’s enough.
Part 21
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minarinnn · 3 months
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content/trigger warnings: angst, tlt spoilers!!, slight manipulation, yelling, aggression, implied relationship, inspired on favorite crime but not really that noticiable
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you knew. you knew from the start that luke was the lighting thief. even worse, you helped him.
you knew that it was wrong, that he was wrong. that the path he was taking wasn’t the right one. but how could you tell him that when he so lovingly asked you to help him with his plan??
it was torture for you, having to keep such a thing from everybody at camp. watching the new kid, who seemed so sweet and innocent, be blamed for it and sent on a dangerous quest. one that would likely kill him. then finding out from luke that they suspect clarisse, one of your closest friends, to be the lighting thief.
“luke, hasn’t this gone too far? i mean, what if something bad happens to clarisse??” you asked, completely worried for your friend. afraid of the god’s wrath, for they are not know for showing mercy. “too far?” luke scoffed, turning to look at you “you wanna be a slave for the gods until you drop dead?”. he was clearly offended by your statement. “there’s bound to be collateral damage”
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you sat in a secluded part of the forest, barely crossing the camp border. everyone was celebrating percy’s accomplishment, y’know, stopping the war and all. luke had told you to wait there, he didn’t tell you what he was going to do, he never did. but you sure knew what you were gonna do.
it was time to get away from this mess. even if it meant losing luke, you didn’t wanna be a part of this. and to be completely honest, you’re not sure that was your luke anymore. he’d gotten so different, and you were so worried when you first noticed the change. but after he told you and asked you to join him, could you really say no?
what seemed to be a portal opened up from a nearby tree, luke stepped out of it. he was panicked, almost scared, sweat rolled down his forehead and his eyes were almost glossy. you got up so fast it was almost instinct. “luke?” “we’re leaving, right now” he spoke urgently, frantically looking around.
“i’m not going with you, luke” you felt your breath escaping your body. luke froze, as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard. his eyes are practically glued onto your face now, even more hurt than they were a moment ago. “what?” he breathed out, eyes and eyebrows narrowing at you in disbelief.
“i don't want to turn my back on my friends and watch them suffer" you could feel a lump building in your throat as you stare back at luke. "i know how much this hurts, believe me. but this path you're taking it’s.. it's not the right one. and deep down, i think you know that too..”.
luke’s face contorts into a mixture of pain and anger. "you’re wrong" he spat out "you don't understand. we’re fighting for something bigger than ourselves. we’re fighting for our freedom” you took a step back, trying to protect yourself from his anger and desperation. "i understand that" you said “but i just don’t think that this is the way to do it. you’re hurting people, people who used to be your friends.. you're putting yourself in danger”
luke let out a bitter laugh, his hands clenching into fists, knuckles practically white. "danger?" he scoffed "danger is all around us— we’re demigods, for heaven's sake! danger is part of our life. but at least i’m doing something about it, instead of just sitting back and waiting for inevitable death”
you shook your head, tears threatening to spill from your glossy eyes. luke stares back at you in and his eyes soften, his expression shifting from anger to sadness. "why do you have to make this so hard?" he whispers, voice breaking slightly “just come with me and we’ll finally be free from all of th-“ "i can't be a part of this anymore, luke.. i’m sorry”
"i thought you loved me" he spoke with sadness and bitterness in his voice, taking a step closer to you while his eyes travels through yours. “i do love you” you exclaim, tested finally streaming down your cheeks “and that’s exactly why i cant watch you do this to yourself”
luke’s expression froze as he processed your response. he was clearly hurt, but perhaps more so by the realization that he had lost your support. he had been so sure that you would choose to go with him, that you would stand by his side no matter what. but now he saw the hesitation in your eyes, the resolve within you.
"i see..” he says, voice barely above a whisper. his hands travel up to the side of your face and he pulls you in for one final kiss. the kiss is sweet yet the only thing you could both feel was regret, regret of leaving the person you love most behind.
“stay.. please, stay” you whisper. his sad eyes answer for him, and you close your eyes in disappointment. "i’ll miss you” he added, kissing the top of your head.
luke turned and disappeared through the portal, leaving you alone in the forest. as he walked away, you catch’d a glimpse of tears in his eyes, but he didn’t look back. you feel a pit in your stomach, a mix of guilt and anger, as you stand alone in the forest, unsure of what to do next. in your point of view, you were just collateral damage to him.
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© MINARINNN 2024 - please do not plagiarize or upload my content on any social media platform.
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