#i love him and his fucked up life <3
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Ngl i always find it so funny to see the conditions eggs are adopted. The first batch was with pairs and each choosing which egg and their name. Tallulah had a special nook. Pomme also has a special place to be found by the french. Empanada, Sunny and Pepito all got already designated parents, were already named, and carefully placed into the nooks for their parents to find. All the first eggs + Pomme already had bed models, the three new ones already can sleep in pretty and protected houses and get as stacked as they're allowed to be, they're well cared for and protected
And there was Richas. Amnesiac, covered in grime (placenta), naked (had to use Forevers shirt), tossed in Dapper's nook, died first day, had to sleep on a 3 x 3 x 3 hole that had no windows and was hidden behind a very obvious painting, almost got named Neymar, spent his entire lifespan sleeping on his dead sibling's bed, literally doesn't have a leg
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sometimes i think about how nendo, kaido, saiki, (and sometimes kuboyasu but usually only when associated with them) are canonically the losers of PK and people actively dislike them, talk bad about them, make rumors about them, etc.
#which is crazy because theyre known to be besties with teruhashi and hairo#literally like. the most popular people at school ?#which like. i also get that this is even part of the reason saiki is disliked#but people dislike and even straught up bully him even before he and teru are known to be friends#but nobody ever thinks 'hey maybe theyre chill!' since the most loved people in school love them?#im so sorry saiki lmao#idk i just feel like people dont talk enough about the fact that even though he tries his fucking best to be so average and unnoticed-#he still gets fucking BULLIED ? like that is so depressing lol#anime onlys dont get to see it as much</3#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#kaido shun#nendo riki#meows post
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this man has no fucking right to be THIS beautiful… jinshi my LOVE.
#jinshi my BELOVED… god he makes me so. insane#i say that a lot but he really makes me Clinically Unwell i just love him so so so so so so so much#him & maomao <3 my favs of all time <3 the only people EVER#i NEED to order all the apothecary diaries manga/light novels STAT#ALSO THE FUCKING SOUNDTRACK TO THE ANIME??? THE NEW EPISODE TODAY???#BEST ANIME SERIES EVER I’M NOT EVEN REMOTELY JOKING.#the song that was used when jinshi carried maomao out after she saved his life… i teared up & got LITERAL chills holy FUCK#let me order the books rn actually like ’m not playing around#the apothecary diaries#jinshi#personal
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i support Yoo Joonghyuk Wrongs because i'd be so pissed if i was severely suicidal and some asshole convinced me to Give Life A Chance and gave me hope and then fucked off for three years letting me think he was dead??? leaving me to watch all of our friends do stupidly risky shit like the stuff i used to do before he made me Care about my and their lives?? NOT warning me and NOT telling me what he was doing like okay fuck that guy actually!!!!
#oh okay we're life and death companions?? CAN YOU ACTUALLY LIVE FOR A CHANGE THEN???????#i'm living i chose to live because of YOU BY THE WAY so if we're supposed to be life or death companions you have to live too!#that's how it works! you fucking dingus jerkwad bastard asshole!!!!!#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#yjh#kdj#my posts#love kim dokja. also hate him on behalf of every single character.#the way he comes back and his biffles 1) lock him up 2) sedate him 3) try to get the right of life or death over him so as to forcibly#remove his ability to sacrifice himself all the goddamn time 4) get arrested with him so he won't be alone in the underworld 😂🤣😭#just picturing all of them working out a chore list in the industrial complex but it's just shifts of#Sitting On Dokja-Ssi's Chest So He Can't Go Anywhere Or Do Anything#usually when there's a character who doesn't realize how adored they are i'm dragging my fingers down my face like#rapunzel the lanterns are for you!!!#but with this guy specifically i just want to hold him down and shriek directly into his earholes.
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not to be too real but since we're talking about it... we always talk about will feeling lonely which is fair, but... it is such an Ugly, isolating, and genuinely heart-wrenching feeling to be the odd one out in your family, and to watch them treat others who aren't related to you the way you wish they would treat you, to watch them perform their familial roles with them and not you.
nancy's the only person in his family that mike could talk to, the only person that has the same trauma and would understand, and yet... he can't. they don't ever talk unless it's to be snippy and bite. nancy spends more time caring about max and will than she does mike, her own little brother.
holly is too young for him to bond with like that. she's just barely a kid, one that still needs to be cared for.
his mom tries her best, but he doesn't feel comfortable being vulnerable with her. considering the fact that she did everything "right" according to society's standards and married their dad of all people, i doubt he feels comfortable showing her who he really is. he lets her hug him when he's at his lowest, but we don't see them actually connecting.
his dad is just some ghost that haunts his house. he doesn't care about mike or think highly of him at all. the only times we've seen him pay mike any attention are when he belittles his interests, mocks him, punishes him, or shuts him down by telling him to listen to his mother. the only support he gets from him is financial in nature.
meanwhile, everyone else has a family they can turn to. dustin, despite lying to his mother to keep her out of his shenanigans, seems to have a decent relationship with her. even if he doesn't, he still has steve and robin. lucas is shown to have a healthy relationship with his parents and erica. will and el have their family.
max's situation is different, but she has the backing of the party; people that love her and actively try to help her and pull her back into the world of the living. she isn't thrust into a leadership role that doesn't allow for vulnerability. she has nancy who is willing to fight monsters for her, el who literally performed a miracle for her, and lucas who has stood by her since the beginning.
and mike... well. he has will back now, sure, but... things have been different between them for a long time now, even if they're both trying their best to be how they were before. and before then, will obviously was in california, not returning his calls or reaching out, making mike feel like he'd lost him for good.
so... all that being said, it's not that surprising that mike is the way he is: riddled with abandonment issues, wanting to be needed, immediately apologizing whenever he dares to open up, inclined to give others the protection and comfort no one's ever given him, prone to jealousy and possessiveness, unable to be completely and wholly honest about what troubles him, not exactly the most open to new people, and someone with appallingly low self-esteem.
you know how they say people that are drowning don't always look like they're drowning? that's mike.
#mike#mine#wheeler#mike analysis#byler#i can't think abt him for longer than two seconds bc then i make myself sad lol <3#will's story is fucked up but at least he has people that love him and help him and SEE him and that he feels comfortable being his#true self with. but mike? :/ sigh.#mike just bottles it up and overcompensates / gets his mind off of it by caring for someone else.#like in the van scene when he's opening up to will and then immediately tries to deflect bc he thinks it's not important.#like... mike... you ARE important. you're feelings aren't stupid. you aren't some worthless loser with nothing to offer people.#the way that he talks about himself and the lack of support he has in his life is like ... actually so fucking sad lmao!#bc he spent all that time with el and sent her all those letters and yet they never actually got to know each other. it wasn't anything of#value. it was just company. and he had will but things started changing and mike felt like will was pulling away from him. then they both#moved across the country and he tried to call will all those times but couldn't reach him. and then will never reached out first so he just#straight up felt like he'd lost will. and the remaining party members are great but like mike says they aren't will. so he was just alone.#bites my own hand bites my own hand bites my own hand bites—
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"There are moments where [Juan] manipulates other people in a similar the way they’ve been manipulating him. The scene between Jeremy and myself with the dagger is a last ditch frantic attempt at trying to win [Rodrigo] over." Do you think Juan was genuine in the knife scene? Do you think he would have killed himself? "Yeah I think so. He always does what is true inside him...It wasn’t simply about the eventual confrontation, but all about the richness of this twisted family make-up."
#top 5 scenes that changed the trajectory of my life#it's also the 1st time we see juan vulnerable (2nd time is his final scene where he confesses to ces about how messed up he is all his life#“we were betrayed father!” maybe if ces put his jealousy aside and helped his lil bro by letting him know about ludovico's army#he's so broken and tired. trying so hard to prove he's useful but he has a shitty luck and a jealous megalomaniac big brother#like even from a military stand point ces could've helped juan with the forli mission but noooo he wants juan humilated!#anyway. look at rodrigo being soft to his baby boy!!! he loves him immensely and trying to comfort him :(#david and jeremy not getting their emmy nominations doesn't sit right with me ngl#“i defend this family with my heart and my soul” i was really rooting for juan so bad because he was just a kid and he was Trying#it's why the people who view juan as some sort of villain are hypocritical and need to fuck off the show btw <3#like he knows he's a fuck-up and the circumstances made him a fuck-up. no one gave him a damn chance. just ganging up on him lol#juan borgia#david oakes#jeremy irons#rodrigo borgia#the borgias#theborgiasedit#perioddramaedit#about juan#juan and rodrigo#by jen
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BALDUR'S GATE 3 ➢ Orin's Role in The Dark Urge's Downfall
Do you remember now, Bloodkin? How you screamed as my knife slit your skull, your brain juices sticky and sweet? A little hole, big enough for the worm – your body a blood sac to feed it. The favourite of Bhaal turned meat puppet, strung up by the sinews and plucked by my hands.
#guys i was so fucking SHOOK by this scene#the fact she just straight up shapeshifts into your durge i could have cried seeing him actually SPEAKING omfg i was so happy#such a power move#also yes hi hello here is my durge his name is dharmon#and he is the love of my life#orin#orin the red#the dark urge#tav#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3edit#gamingedit#mine:bg3#mine:gifs#oc: dharmon#baldur's gate
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I just think the fandom’s nastier responses to the bg3 men is wildly interesting
like. you have three men who are coming out of highly unhealthy relationships.
One of them gets super sexualized and infantilized at the exact same time. literally people put him in the bdsm harness while simultaneously misinterpreting elven cultural norms to say he’s mentally no more mature than a teenager despite having been a whole-ass local judge who died because he gave out corrupt rulings and got his ass jumped because of them.
the other gets treated like he’s an incel because he catches feelings quickly, despite being wildly respectful when you turn him down. Half the issues were due to a bug, the other is that this man is so starved for validation because his goddess - whom has paid special interest to him since he was a toddler - kept him constantly feeling lesser-than because despite calling him her Chosen, she gives him none of the power we see Chosens be given by other gods. Not to mention she sends her other ex - his mentor and friend - to tell him to off himself to earn her forgiveness. For some reason his attempts to gain god-like power are received worse than the borm-sexy-yesterday-vampire despite both of them having the goal of being safe from manipulation and control. I assume because the vampire gets a sex scene when you let him destroy his soul for power and the wizard does not.
The fairytale prince route, despite typically being very popular, is being called boring and dull and while, yes, he has less drama than some of the others, is still compelling and has high stakes for that character. He’s sold his soul but he thinks the price is worth it and he’s made his peace with the personal cost because he’s helping people. The only real difference between this character and others who are willing to sell their souls for the good of their lands is that this time around, he’s Black
#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#fandom critical#I guess?#like Wyll’s shit seems to genuinely be people are racist and not realizing or caring to realize#he’s a delight! he wants to dance with you! he’s a sweetheart going by the fairytale chivalric code#meanwhile he’s literally made a deal with a devil to make the princely thing happen#it’s good! he’s the vanilla ice cream route and it’s very lovely#literally his route is so similar to Alistair in the choices to give up your life for the world#I love astarion and he is in fact very sexy#and he likes sex when he has the final say in whether it’s happening#but that damn tombstone has some people acting creepy as fuck#yes it’s sad how young he was but he was also a whole adult man when he died#and Gale… you can argue very easily he was groomed#and even if he wasn’t - this man has isolated himself for a /year/ trying not to hurt anyone#yeah he’s gonna get attached to the first people he gets to hang with#he’s hurt when you turn him down but he’s not a dick#then he becomes your ride-or-die#he’s a sweetheart#Halsin has his own shit going but he seems to a companion solely because people thirsted so hard#but he’s also worked through his shit and is decently mentally stable#not letting ppl reblog this because I don’t need people acting a fool on my post
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(Feel free to ignore this-! I’m just happy to hear someone’s deep takes on Zelda)
I really love your deep dives and interpretations/discussions on the Gerudo people and their history, influence and life in BOTW/TOTK (I totally agree with all you’ve said)
I just want to ask/Point out (after reading your imperialism post about TOTK) didn’t the Zora for many years like- not want to serve or be a part of the Hylian families army either? Like, even before Mipha’s death, weren’t the Zora very much against conforming to the Hylian’s rules and such? (In every game?) I’m a bit confused on how Hyrule is split up, the Zora’s having their own kingdom(s), the Rito and Goron’s having elder’s/their own leaders but still serving the royal family??
It’s always bothered me how these separate races all still have statues to the Goddess Hylia (Started in BOTW) and not their own deity’s to pray to or follow (Like the Zora praying to Nayru makes sense, or even something like Jabu Jabu to bring back- or the Rito could’ve prayed to Valoo, a great dragon or something.)
It just feels like Nintendo COULD’VE put so much care into all their races stories and histories! But oops no this game will be for Kids(TM) and we can’t put anything too deep or serious. Makes me sad :( I wanted to see them in a deeper context.
Oh yeah, it's very weird that they just put zero effort into explaining some of the worldbuilding. I mean, in BOTW it makes perfect sense to have the races be off doing their own things! It's post apocalypse, Hyrule does not exist anymore, these different communities have no real reason to interact with each other! And I really liked that BOTW outright showed that there was no particular effort for diplomacy, but people still got along as individuals - I liked that we saw different races hanging around each other. I loved that there were Gerudo in Goron Town to trade for their gems, I loved that Goron were allowed into Gerudo Town because they're a race of rock people that legitimately don't have any real need for gender and just use masculine terms by their own choice, and the Gerudo understood that. And I loved the whole Tarrey Town sidequest, because it actually felt really satisfying to build up a new town that had inhabitants from all the races, not for any particular reason, but just because they were people that wanted to live there and work together. They didn't need a big central government to make it a whole Thing; they were just getting by.
And we also saw the less good side of these things, like that one guy in Hateno that greeted you at the gate, and decided Link was trustworthy specifically because he was Hylian, making it clear that xenophobia still existed. I like that Kass was kind of thrown by Link asking if he was a giant bird, and the implication that Link was being kinda insensitive there and Kass was choosing not to be offended. I liked that there was a Hylian couple on their honeymoon in Rito village because the guy genuinely loved the town and its culture, while his new wife looked down on the Rito and hated being around them. And I liked that the older Zora still held a grudge against Hyrule for many things, up to and including the fact that Mipha died defending it, and the older generation would rather risk everyone's wellbeing than accept help from a Hylian that had been involved. And I like that you can run into other Hylian's near Zora's domain that outright tell you Zora have been trying to recruit them to do something important, but they all refused to get involved because they don't think that those weird fish people could have anything serious going on and it all seemed really sketchy.
My point is, BOTW really did feel like it'd been a hundred years since the end of the world, and everyone was just trying to get by and live their lives. You saw people being open minded and accepting other races for no other reason than the fact that they were all people, and you saw people being petty and bigoted just because they didn't trust people that looked and acted differently from them, but for the most part people were all just getting by and doing their own thing. BOTW gave the impression that Hyrule had been an equal alliance between the Hylian's, Zora, Goron, Rito and Gerudo (and with the Sheikah having a considerably less equal role, specifically built on the Sheikah having been forced to submit to cultural genocide to save their own lives, and the Yiga clan being the survivors that fought back instead), with Hyrule acting as sort of the core of the alliance, if only due to literally being in the geographic middle.
I mean fuck, the existence of the Divine Beasts suggests that things are equal! Yeah, Hyrule has a royal family with holy powers due to literally being the descendants of a Goddess, and they're the ones that always get the reincarnation of the Hero that's the only one who can wield the bullshit OP magic sword... but they don't get a Divine Beast (Link's dinky little DLC motorcycle doesn't count). The Divine Beasts were specifically made to be weapons of mass destruction, and they were specifically made for the non-Hylian races. That really does suggest an active effort being taken to balance the scales, that the ancient people saw that only Hylian's were granted divine favour, and so if the gods wouldn't give that power to other races, they'd fucking make it themselves. The existence of the Divine Beasts feels like a promise to keep everyone on equal footing, and say what you will about pre-Calamity Hyrule, but they didn't even question keeping that promise.
...And then in TOTK, all of that's just gone. The Sheikah aren't their own people with a complicated relationship to the throne, now they're just Hylian's with a different aesthetic. The 'alliance' between the races turns out to be built on Hyrule's first King and Queen pointing their stockpile of magical nukes at everyone and asking them politely to become their subjects, and pretending not to notice the implied threat that they'd magically nuke anyone who refused. In BOTW the Sheikah race being sworn servants of the Hylian royal family was acknowledged as a fucked up situation, and that power imbalance being horribly abused in the past was what created the Yiga clan. In TOTK, we're outright told that Rito, Goron, Zora and Gerudo all exist for the sole purpose of serving the Hylian royal family, and that is framed as a good thing and the proper way of the world; the first sign of Ganondorf being evil is that he refuses to submit.
And even putting all that super gross ancient past stuff aside, the present day is equally fucked. Hyrule has been gone for a century. In BOTW, few people even remembered that Zelda had ever existed, and of those people not many of them cared. Nobody was really interested in having a central government, they were all getting by just fine on their own. And again, it was made pretty clear that the pre-calamity situation had been an actively maintained collective alliance between independent nations. There was a reason that people were predicting that Hyrule's monarchy would be abolished in TOTK, and that's because we all saw that there was literally no reason for anyone other than the Sheikah to respect Zelda's authority as a ruler - the Zora were the only other people to still remember her, and they were completely done with the Hylian royal family anyways. If Zelda rolled up declaring herself the Queen of Hyrule anywhere else, she'd be laughed out of town, because that's the standard response to a random teenager showing up and informing you she was actually the highest authority in the land. Zelda had no inherent authority left at the end of BOTW, if she wanted to be in charge, she'd need to earn it. That's the state of the world that we were shown.
Except nope, nevermind, Zelda's the almighty God Princess of the world and literally everyone mindlessly accepts her ultimate authority. She can order people to strip naked and walk into a monster den to die for her amusement, and they would immediately do it without asking any questions (yes I know the underwear thing was a misunderstanding, but the fact that everyone jumped to follow the misheard order without a single question is horrifying). And the imposter Zelda arc just hammers home the point that Zelda is in a completely unearned, lifelong position as dictator of the world, and literally nobody cares if she abuses that power. Zelda brainwashed Yunobo and forced him to ruin his own business and nearly destroy his own people? He's just worried she'll be angry that the mask keeping him brainwashed was destroyed. Zelda summons a giant monster to attack Yunobo and Link then walks away? Oh my god, the giant monster Zelda just summoned to kill us might hurt her, we have to save Zelda from it! Zelda literally openly attacks King Dorephan and tries to murder him? He'd rather go missing in the middle of a crisis and suffer alone in hiding than let anyone know that Zelda just tried to kill him. I don't understand why they bothered with the fake Zelda arc, because literally nothing the fake Zelda does is allowed to have consequences.
It just doesn't make any goddamn sense. Nobody feels real anymore, there's no politics between the races, there's no reason for anything being the way it is now. The entire world of Hyrule has been reduced to just Zelda's Fanclub, and nobody would ever consider doubting her for a second. I don't understand why the fake Zelda arc is in the game, because it's never actually allowed to be part of the story. Nobody actually cares about 'Zelda' tormenting people, and so we're told that there is literally nothing that can possibly happen to make Zelda lose her authority. There's no stakes. We're not supposed to care about anyone who isn't Zelda, we're not given any real reason to care about Zelda herself, and so why the fuck are we still here?
...I've distracted myself a lot here lmaoo, I'm not really sure where I was going with all of this beyond just rambling about shitty writing and bad continuity. The point is, BOTW had some really good writing and worldbuilding. That Hyrule felt like a real place inhabited by actual people, and the different races were their own, independent people. When they worked together, it was a sign of them putting time and effort into reaching out to each other and meet on the same level. Meanwhile TOTK feels like it's made of fucking cardboard most of the time.
(Also for the record I agree that the Goddess statues being Literally Everywhere was kinda fucked, BUT I'm willing to let it slide as a matter of just game design; that's where you go to trade spirit orbs for upgrades, so you want a spot to do that in every major town for player convenience. And using different deities in different areas wouldn't work, because the players are introduced to the mechanic with a goddess statue; they're not gonna naturally assume that the statue of a giant fish can do that too, so most of them would assume the statue is scenery and just ignore it. I thought it was at least a nice touch that the goddess statues had different decorations in some towns, and that some towns put the statues away from the main areas; it gave the impression that while everyone while worshipping Hylia was widespread, everyone was doing it differently, and in some places it wasn't very popular - just look at the Kakariko statue being in the middle of town with a well maintained pond surrounding it and torches to draw more attention to it, then compare that to the Gerudo Town statue being down a side street on the edge of town, away from the main gate, with nothing of any real importance nearby, and nothing to get people's attention. It really works with the Sheikah's culture being built on their devotion to the Goddess, while the Gerudo's history with Hylia and her followers is a lot more complicated, and so their statue's location implies that worship of Hylia is pretty unpopular among the Gerudo.)
#tears of the kingdom spoilers#tears of the kingdom#my continued inability to shut up about this game#i hate the writing in totk and it's boring as hell if i take it as face value#but the fucked up stuff the bad writing accidentally implied is FASCINATING#also for everyone thats sent me asks about this sorry in advance if i dont reply to you#but they keep prompting me to deliver long rambling essays about my thoughts on this game#and i only have so much time in my life to do that#for context while i was typing this whole essay i got another 3 new asks#still dealing with a puppy over here. he's got another month before he's ready to leave his mama#and that means a month of trying to socialize him enough to make up for the lack of littermates#basically i'd love to do nothing but rant about totk but life is still very hectic right now
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ohhhh my god im going to fucking throw up thinking again about the scene where sawashiro almost lopping off ichi's pinky parallels the scene from earlier where arakawa's mom threatens him with scissors
#snap chats#IM GOING TO BE FUCKING SICK !!!!!!!!!#i havent mentioned it before. or if i did its been A Hot Minute but god i think of it a lot#sorry i was just having my morning Arakawa Family In Retrospect thinking and im going to throw up#AND IT WAS OVER MONEY TOO. and the topic of insufficient income was brought up.. fuuuuccckk YOOOOU#triggering myself rewatching the scenes just to validate my points and im going to be even MORE sick#its the way both ichi/arakawa glare at sawashiro/his mother and then getting reprimanded for it. via sharp implement#and the way arakawa interrupts sawashiro and ichi like how his dad had to step in between him and his mom Shut UP#jesus. arakawa wasnt even confrontational bout it like that either bro just walked in on it#his life is a flat circle And What If. I Threw Up.#i thought of translatin this concept via a comic buuuuuttttt </3 no time </3#or energy tbh#im tempted to at the very least make comparative gif sets for these scenes... its so important i point them out....#anyways wow !!!! i love the arakawa family !!!!!!! youre all fucked !!!!!! <- crying#i love the arakawa family because it's so easy to see each member as a protagonist of their own stories#which No Duh Everyones A Protagonist In A Way but it's just espsecially easy to dig into the arakawas' perspectives and feelings#theyre ALL so interesting in how they think and react and the possibility of how theyre thinking and feeling in situations#like im so invested to want to know their perspectives because there's always extra layers to them and its fascinating..#the arakawas are just so intertwined .....
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My friend got me hooked on @exilethegame and I’ve played it so many times just to keep playing my Phoenix commander Emil Ryder :) he is so fucked up and broken and my whole experience has been “how can i make it evident that this poor man has been emptied out and broken beyond repair” and then the author ENABLES ME it’s the best thing i’ve ever encountered
#exile the game#the painted phoenix#my art#artists on tumblr#oc#i love my fucking guy so much#also being able to make him trans? i owe the author my life#he's just so fucked up <3#and that one line about the commander's mother wondering how long it is until they're completely lost#shoveling this into my mouth#biting and screaming in a good way#he has more scars under his shirt btw i just didn't really include them#also lemme infodump about him a bit okay so he used to be full of life and joked around#but i'm playing him as presently being empty and just wanting to throw himself on a sword#like being able to tell Syfyn that he's tired and to just end it? THANKING HER??#i'm insane. i'm biting him. i'm crying over him#the only thing he's living for at this point is the Main Group and his sister#and that's only until his mission is over (CURRENTLY!!!)#because by god i am going to make this about how life is hard and suffering exists at every corner but you have to keep going anyway#because life- and love- is worth it i'm#biting
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"That your handiwork is it? How- How is that funny?"
Burn Gorman as PC Renwick in Cemetery Junction, 2010.
#gotta make a collage to show off his hair in this oh my blessed stars#burn gorman#finally a semi-decent copper~ ...who also very much likes getting into people's faces#he looks so tiny compared to his costars in this btw; literally everyone towers over him#my sunshine man 💛#cemetery junction#pc Renwick#i had you for less than 3 minutes but i love you anyway#man i need a tag for burn now fuck#the burn collection#my gifs#i think queue and I are gonna end up bloody#i am having thoughts but i shan't say#another brown eyed boy ruining my life#shut up ace
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STAN HAS THAT K CHOKER RIGHT? DOES THAT MEAN KYLE HAS AN S NECKLACE? like he could totally stack his s necklace with his star of david one
aaaaaaaaa
you know i love a lil matchy-matchy moment~
and actually, i accumulated a lot of different asks actually, mostly, interestingly enough asking me about the same roundabout thing: if jersey wears rings, how he feels about jewelry, if he has any tattoos or other piercings, stuff of the like, etc.
but i never got around to answering those because i'm kind of a perfectionist and i get all worked up in my head about how i'm going to answer things because i want them to be perfect ( i keep trying to structure nsfw ask like it's a nine page research essay, smh ) buuut
basically, as we all know well, jersey is…Particular.
particularly abt himself and what is done to him/on him.
( okay, fair warning: the rest of this answer is very long and i just talk a lot about the former question about jersey/his attachments to material things and also physical-emotional things — people — you do not have to read all that...the short answer is yes, kyle does stack a stan 's' necklace with the star of david, i talk about it more at the end, but this intro part is a lot of exposition and information. so if your curiosity does not end there...perhaps i can further it below xx )
a lot of it ties into his ocd and this need to control every aspect of his life, not being able to put it in anyone elses hands but his own because he's scared of that improbability...that margin of error.
it keeps him up at night.
for that reason, even though he has a ton of health issues, diabetes, etc. he is extremely Defiant and Volatile in doctors offices. like, he will start throwing shit, rip ivs out of his arms, ask you to explain what you are giving him In Detail and will probably still refuse to take it.
tbh, the only reason he's taking any medication at all is because he really loves sheila and she is extremely worried about losing him </3
( jersey is a mommas boy, i said what i said! )
but he takes his own blood sugar, pricks his own fingers, runs all his own tests...he really does not trust anyone else w/ that kind of thing. which ties into piercings because he does...think that they're…lowkey, highkey *jersey vc* Hawt, i’m sorry; it's true.
i do think it's his...Thing.
the man really just wants a little hot topic emo boy accessory display for a boyfriend and he is right for that. cute, shiny, edgy. i respect it.
eye candy, arm candy, if you will?
( jersey is extremely partial to candy, ofc <3 )
and idk, maybe it's just a me thing, but to me, jerseykyle, specifically, is very conceptual and is intrigued by fashion and stuff, but because when he was overweight growing up, he was sort of just shoe-horned into all this oblong, ugly clothing, whatever would fit or they could afford. so he never really got to be able to wear things he wanted to, until about right now and it's been really liberating for him? idk? aaa
i love sleek, chic, dark academia, tired 1940s evil classics professor, thrift store couture jersey in his dollar store blazers and italian loafers. like my man is an off duty model, forreal. i am obsessed with him.
and actually he really Likes tattoos and piercings and dyed hair and thinks all the little rings are cool because you're like this living art form, this distinct individual, there's a uniqueness, a cool rebellion there he can’t create have within himself, so he combats/masks it as disgust and disinterest because he doesn't like to process his complicated feelings and also doesn't like forming attachments...especially...
...to things he's inexplicably Drawn to.
which is why, initially, upon even just bearing witness to raven of crimson dawn, kyle freaked out because he was like immediately Extremely Attracted to him because he checks all these little boxes in his brain, but his brain, of course, is corroded by mental illness and trauma, so he immediately projects extreme amounts of hostility in raven's direction because he is like you're all chaos and disorder, you're a mess, you throw caution to the wind, You’re Unpredictable.
when he’s actually obsessed w/ that capricious energy?
like he makes fun of stan for all his punk rock boy 'hood ornaments' and 'anarchical embellishments', but his heart starts racing every time stan winks at him and his little eyebrow piecing winks back, or he runs his tongue over that lip ring kyle got hyperfixated on, partially because it's pretty, which...rip, not even joking…
if stan comes out in the support rock, fuck a rockstar tank top, the tiny pants and sports that little lip ring chain thing that connects to the cuff on his ear...it does something seriously ( down ) bad to kyle's brain and stan is immediately getting Railed. soz if you were waiting for stan's autograph, hes gettin ky's all over his body. woops.
but!!! it's mostly bc stan had the courage and hedonism to put something through his lip and live with it. that he could get other piercings, get tattoos, let people handle him, put his life into someone else's hands, let them have control for a second, knowing they are executing the thing you want/need without you doing it...
it's literally All a control thing.
or rather, an inability to lose it.
because he's very particular, yeah, about what he likes and doesn't like, he won't wear any fabrics that itch or bother him, he won't buy something if the hem pisses him off, if he has to wear something he doesn't like, he will bitch and moan the entire day about it. and while it's good to have that level of self-assuredness, it's also kind of a self-preservation and self destructive coping mechanism for jerseykyle.
because he pushes everything out...
but doesn't let anything else in.
and a lot of that changes when raven/stan comes back into the picture, because when they were growing up, stan was this beautiful, glowing fixture of nonconformity, this pillar of strength that was twice as strong as he was, even though kyle was the fighter. because stan fought for self-acceptance and kyle fought for self-loathing.
and really...the reason why his ed developed in the first place was because gerald and society as a whole brainwashed him into hating himself and that people would only digest him if he was in small enough, beautiful, palatable enough pieces to eat so even though he acts out or throws punches: It’s All Within The Lines.
or the confines, rather.
of the person he thinks people want him to be.
but, idk, i'm talking too much. basically, gist is, kyle has a hard time handing over control to other people/being vulnerable and the final piece to that is...permanence.
a piercing...a tattoo...is Permanent.
i mean, sure, they close up and you can get them removed, but you are irreconcilably changed and altered. you are different now.
anddddd sigh, the jersey can't say i love you ask strikes again! because jersey can't say i love you because it's handing over control, because it's vulnerable because it's...permanent and he has extremely deep-seated commitment issues because of all of that.
which means he rarely, if ever, makes said commitments.
so when he Does...
it's a very special thing indeed.
because jersey has no tattoos or piercings on his body.
save for the sun/moon one he got on his ring finger for stan ( i can never decide if i want jersey to have the sun tattoo because he is the sun or if he has the moon one so he can wear rae around with him )
*** ( i also think it's possible he might get little hebrew things for his mom or idk, something very important later...i'll think about it more )
and...One ear piercing.
i was going to go at this in more comical and dramatic way in an old post, but basically, i think kenny/bebe/craig someone basically joked about there being reduced earring piercings at claire's and they should take kyle because he's the only one without pierced ears and jersey gets really defensive about it and everyone's like ooooh! kyle's scared to get his ears pierced, so the competitive and aggressive side of him that hates to lose briefly outweighs the neurotic side and is like "fuck you!!! let's go right now! i'm not scared of anything!"
and he gets there, stan's with him, and he is...freaking out in the little plastic chair with some eight year old girl next to him ecstatically getting her ears pierced for her birthday, bc he's going to have to let someone...do something to him/inflict something on him.
( which actually, i think, is what is really beautiful about j.k and r.s' relationship and dynamic, is that jersey teaches raven that you can't just let people do things you don't want them to do to you just because you feel like you should ft. his sexual trauma and stan teaches kyle that it is okay to let other people in, to do reckless things, to allow yourself to feel and enjoy simple pleasures w/o fear. ft. his ocd
lmao, is there a branch in my eye again? y is it Watering )
and ravenstan is like, mi amor, they are just your ears, you will be okay, i will hold your hand…
everything will be fine, i swear. :’) <3
and he gets hyped up, ready to go, the 16 y/o piercing his ears tells him she'll count to three and pierce on one.
...and she pierces on Three.
i'm not sure if it's bc she pressed too soon or because she thought that if she surprised him, it might make him less nervous, but it does not!!!! kyle FREAKS out!!!! his ocd goes haywire and basically has a nervous breakdown at freaking /claires/ bc she pierced his ear before she SAID she would and destroys the confidence that he built up to let himself be vulnerable.
it seems like a Silly thing...but i think it says a lot, yknow?
and though it was a serious blow to his ego, kyle only has...one ear pierced because he panicked and could not get the second one done. and it, to this day, is one of the only asymmetrical things abt him. which, i actually think is important to him coping w/ his ocd
( similar to how kyle, sorry slight nsfw, having stan have to ask for things if he wants them, helps him, in a seemingly innocuous way, build confidence in himself/not let things just 'happen' to him without his consent ) because having only one ear pierced means he has to deal with being lopsided and that, everyday the earth doesn't crash into the sun...means that he's okay.
also a cute thing about the one ear piercing is that i think kyle wears like this cute little gold sun dangly one that has a similar ambiance to the sun and moon glasses chain charms? it's his signature.
and other than showering, sleeping, etc. he only really ever takes it out when raven is going off somewhere far away :( and he switches it with a little stan silver earring ( idk kyle feels very gold jewelry bc of his orange hair and stan feels v silver bc of his blue eyes and stuff ) and stan sometimes takes kyle's with him on tour...AAAAA i'm sad
on the subject of rings, since someone else asked me, kyle does not wear rings even though he does like them/they're pretty because they're heavy, they clank against his pen when he's writing, the sound pisses him off...but he wears stan's lil silver emo boy rings when he's away and gaslit himself into liking the sound because the sound it makes against his pen reminds him of the sound it makes when stan is excitedly scribbling song lyrics and singing to him aaaaa IM :(
WHERE WAS I GOING WITH THIS AGAIN?
oh, yeah.
extreme mental illness.
so jersey never makes adjustments or accommodations for anyone, and when he does it's a big deal...but really...
it's because Stan is a big deal to him.
stan is EVERYTHING to him.
and kyle thinks it's cute that at every show and every concert, stan always wears the little spicy k charm on his emo boy choker ( and got the little even spicier inner thigh tattoo w kyle's name on it...anyways )
so, he starts wearing a little s around his neck for stan.
which, initially, i'm sure you're like...oh God.
jersey making an adjustment to his very specific cartoon character outfit alignment of things he wears every day, things he wears at home, things he wears specifically when going out depending on the environment...this sounds like a recipe for disaster. this is a big change for him. he's gonna spin out or short circuit his brain.
but...really? it feels as easy as Breathing.
because for one of the first times in his life, kyle got something that he didn't just get for him, w/ selfish intentions or bc he needs to be in control...he got it...
to make stan happy. :)
and it does make him very, Very happy, indeed.
which is really funny to me because jersey is super annoying and just starts wearing it and pretends like he doesn't know what's going on bc he's bad at ~gestures~. so stan comes home, sees it and immediately is like *big stan eyes* 'what are you wearing??'
and kyle is like, ‘oh, this? i've had it forever, it's was just in the back of the closet. why? is it wrinkled or—‘ and stan is like 'no, dummy. the NECKLACE' and kyle, playing dumb, trying to act nonchalant because he's kind of embarrassed abt having emotions is like 'oh, that. y'know. just something i'm trying out...' and stan is like
'kyle broflovski, are you wearing a necklace with my initial on it????' and kyle is like 'alright, woah there, mr. celebrity. but not eeeeverything is about you, okay? that s could stand for anything.'
and stan is like *genuine heart eyes wowza because kyle is being annoying but stan loves dumb annoying kyle that's why he wears his lil possessive emo boy k charm on his choker everywhere* 'okay, well the k on mine stands for kiss me or kiss me kyle or whatever you want just, come and kiss me please' kshdlkshd <333 eWW
anyways...they're Gay. they're in love. they having matching tattoos and earrings and wear eachother's intials around their neck. nbd.
but...in a very longwinded format, i hope this answers your question baby and hopefully some other questions you have abt jersey. i'm sorry that was a lot but i literally could talk about jersey forever, like he is so fascinating and bc he's our narrator and he's such an unreliable one, it's hard to understand how his brain works.
hope this helps. <3
uncle nina, keeper of the cryptid jersey whore-lore
#okay i am sorry#i know this barely answers your question#but i got a lot of similar questions#and i wanted to answer them in one big ask while i was feeling inspired so here is a bunch of jersey trauma lore#i hope it's fascinating i find it all super fascinating#because he presents like this perfectly in control orderly well maintained militant self-satisfying self gratified thing#but it's just a front for the fact that he's scared of change and is scared of not being in control or making mistakes#like he is put together but a breath away from falling apart#stan teaches him to sit down kyle teaches him to stand up#also sorry kyle having a fascination with edgy boy things and piercings and stuff in particular is kinda spicy to me#i luv him like he really is like that man is a satanic abomination and i want to do terrible horrible depraved things to him#like he really saw raven of crimson dawn and was like oy gevault i have never wanted to cut my lip open on anything#more than on that mans lip ring holy hell oh my god he is so shiny and ripped up and his makeup is so cool#he is a celebrity he has no original thought he doesnt think abt anything thats why he has all those tattoos and piercings#but also y do i want to trace my fingers down them every time i look at him he reveals himself more to me i want to learn more#kinsey scale gay 6 jerseykyle everyone but specifically for dramatic crybaby bisexual punk rock boys w/ piercings#which...i think is incredible bc i do not think people would expect that from kyle...but people also thinks he cannot feel#BUT HIM ADJUSTING HIS WELL REGIMENTED LIFE TO INCOPORATE STAN INTO IT I WANT TO SCREAM#HIM LEARNING TO LET OTHER PEOPLE DO STUFF FOR HIM AND BE OKAY WITH THEM HELPING HIM#I WANT TO START FUCKING SCREAMING I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I LOVE JERSEYS CHAR DEV#ok final thot is he does sometimes do a gold jewelry ring moment or somethin if he's feeling like its important to the look#but they are very insignificant things for aesthetics easily taken off or removed...its the important stuff he has trouble w#and makes it all the more rewarding i think <3#ily jers#okay last last small thing as far as like getting little piercings and random fun tattoos goes i just think he doesnt want any#boring king ik minus the ocd and stuff he just likes all his stuff to be very a-line and crisp doesnt like massive statements#like my man Is the statement like he has beautiful luxiourous curly red hair and green eyes and his nose a modern art piece#its too busy for him its distracting and u know thats what u have a hot rockstar bf for so u can pretend 2 read ur book#but the plot of the book is tracing ur sbfs sexc hip tattoos and helping him decide what belly button ring hes gonna wear#you know!!! The Plot!!! which kyles eidetic mem comes back but he does get distracted looking at stan a lot help
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Okay, but like...what if in "Queen of Hearts," Arthur followed through on his threat before Morgana did her sorcery frame-up, and he and Gwen just dipped (with Merlin, obviously)? Like, he leaves an Official Statement of Resignation on his desk with his signet ring, renouncing his claim to the throne and all that? The three of them are halfway to Essetir before anyone notices they're gone.
And on the way, they just happen to chance across some smugglers? Logic dictates that Tristan and Isolde started their hustle during Uther's reign for them to be as good as they are in S4 when Arthur had only been king a few months tops. They're still initially suspicious, ofc, but they warm up a lot faster considering the situation, and they're always down with someone who says "fuck the king" with their whole chest. The trio takes up with them bc they're always on the move and make a living on not being found, which is exactly what they need rn because Uther will be looking for them.
But if they want to stay, they gotta contribute. House rules.
Now, insofar, Tristan and Isolde are strictly transport. They're more or less fences. They don't do the actual theft part. But the trio can. Arthur can blend right in with the rich people they rip off, and he's bougie enough to pick out the Good Shit and pass on the knockoffs. Merlin and Gwen can blend right in with the servants to case the joint and swipe the goods, not to mention Gwen's knowledge of metalworking means being able to dismantle jewelry pieces without damaging them and making them untraceable, and Merlin can cover their tracks with magic (he'd have told them after they left) and create distractions as needed.
Arthur does have a small crisis when he realises he makes a better grifter than a prince, but then it's just really funny. He is now the Once and Future King of Thieves. Tristan and Isolde are the envy of the black market scene bc of their "secret weapons."
Bonus points if this is how they meet the rest of the squad bc legit the only knight that isn't a confirmed criminal is Percival, but he's also besties with Lancelot, so it's implied he might be.
Knights of the Criminal Enterprise.
you could have just kissed me on the spot you know
#god i'm in love with this concept#never thought i'd find a canon divergent merwenthur au where they're the top dogs of Albion's criminal empire#s5 is them realizing that camelot is in deep shit bc morgana took up the throne after they left and arthur still loves his kingdom#he's conflicted about going back bc 1) that's his home and it deserves better 2) he likes his life rn 3) he's in denial about morgana's#corruption arc no matter how many times he hears about ('that's not gana merlin those people don't know her like i do' and merlin doesn't#have the heart to tell arthur about her plots to kill both him and uther and gwen) it's not until leon arrives that arthur has to accept it#also elyan introduces merwenthur to tristan & isolde bc obvi he left with the gang (he promised her that he'd always be there and he intend#to keep that promise!)#lancelot when he meets the gang during a heist and he's their target's bodyguard ('...fancy meeting you here' 'literally what the fuck')#the tristan adoption process happens faster in this au bc tristan isn't aware that arthur (affectionately called wart) is the prince#gwen putting her smithing skills to good use and having them be acknowledged????? well mark me down as a swooning damsel#her and elyan being a dynamic duo when it comes to smelting or forging a quarter master's keys#bbc merlin#merwenthur#once and future king of thieves#or Albion's Oceans 11#arthur pendragon#gwen#merlin emrys#tristan and isolde#headcanons
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while the scenarios are obviously sweet and all i have to say every single person whose conceptualization of ajax playing in the snow with his little siblings begins and ends at just this innocent happy fun time of snow castles sledding and ice fishing Clearly hasnt been hunted for sport by an older brother twice your size and five times stronger with the explicit intent of grabbing you by the coat and just fucking hurling your ass into the nearest (very thick and soft dw) snow pile the second your vigilance slips bc he thinks its funny. or watched your step non stop lest you get tripped face first into the snow when ur literally just making ur way to the store together. or been helplessly outmatched in both strength and accuracy for impromptu snowball fights (until obligatory avoid a Situation pity moment when he just stands there and lets you hit him point blank for righteous payback). wintertime is a sibling war zone and Mr childe ajax tartaglia is a menace dont get it twisted and somehow think these things arent also happening on the regular alongside the cutesy stuff actually. Please keep tonia anthon and teucer in your thoughts and prayers theyre 100% going Thru it every year
#these are not bad things i love my brother. very fond memories#i was fighting for my fucking life out there and i had a blast. actual heartbreak when u get too big to be tossed around 😔#would do all of it again. except the slipping snow down the back of ur coat thing thats fucking diabolical#anyway from experience: please do consider the image of all 3 of them desperately trying to trip HIM up by just#launching themselves at his legs and trying to tackle him successfully#to no avail 😔 its tough out there#rambles#genshin#childeposting
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