#i love a weird fucked up polycule
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blue eye samurai slaps
#i love a weird fucked up polycule#blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai mizu#blue eye samurai akemi#blue eye samurai taigen#taigen#mizu#akemi#my art#pearlie art#digital art#pearliegrimm#animation#blue eye samurai fanart
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(last images sourced from this wonderful post)
Voy + Textposts 11- Special Chakotay being a hater edition!
(Voy + Textposts 11) + (Voy + Textposts 13)
#trek thoughts#as he should!#i love how much of a hater chakotay is#i wish the writers had let him be more obvious about it#cause it's so fucking funny#you know when b'elanna got with tom he was beyond horrified#and i mean!! he's right!!#tom ISN'T good enough for her at all#truly tragic#chakotay was right all along and they ignored him#b'elanna probably didn't take his advice seriously cause of the whole weird throuple polycule thing he's got going on with tuvok and kathry#tuvok and chakotay dislike each other but also they hook up#they're both fighting for kathryn's attention but also it's homeorotic#chakotay what a guy#star trek#voyager#chakotay#b'elanna#janeway#tuvok#tom paris#chakotay x janeway x tuvok#star trek memes#star trek voy#star trek voyager#captain janeway#kathryn janeway#st voyager#star trek janeway#st textposts
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18 + swaymark!!
oooo thank you!!
#18 - pleaser, wallows + swaymark
okay i know they are canonically obsessed with each other but. the song is in some ways about feeling like you’re failing in your relationship and being not quite as obsessed with them as they maybe are with you, and in this video of them talking about being a tandem, there is the slightest pause before swayman answers “do you miss him?” that makes me want to probe a wound. we’re not talking irl reasons of how that’s an absurd question (how do you miss him. you’re coworkers you’re seeing each other all the time) we’re talking that maybe this whole goalies-in-love thing got blown out of proportion and now swayman’s having to buy into the bit too hard. linus loves it & everyone’s asking about their bromance & how they love each other so much and the thing is—linus is safe. he’s got a wife and plausible deniability and jeremy? jeremy is gay. sure, he can crack jokes and people-please but the more people ask the more they're going to find out until maybe they find out something jeremy doesn't want them to know. and the longer this goes on, the more jeremy has to sit at linus' dinner table with linus and his beautiful wife and pretend like he isn't a little bit in love with him. and you know what? the longer it goes on and linus doesn't dial it down jeremy does stop being in love with him, because it just feels cruel, until he finally is done enough that he stops biting his tongue and ruins the moment.
#…this so is not a five sentence summary but ALSO this manages to perfectly align with something i was obsessed with (that media video)#like yeah is that pause reasonably a buffering time to a weird question? yes!!! do i want to read into it & make swayman a bit uncomfortabl#also yes!!! sorry i decided to give them tragique but they were assigned by spotify. the other option for this song was an ED fix-it fic#about healthy sex and learning that it can be a part of a normal relationship!! sex is weird and fucked up!! but like. that’s just because#i have always interpreted this song as a) unrequited best friend love & you’re worried you’re gonna fuck it up b) virgin who doesn’t know#what sex is and is scared to tell anyone and then option c) people pleaser keeps going along with it but can’t anymore#also OBVIOUSLY they end up fine. whether that ends up being jeremy finally telling linus (oblivious) i don’t want to do this with you#i need to get over you & them creating a platonic space & sway ends up with someone else OR linus has the oh. true. i simply never#considered that i could be gay for you option OR the one i have just invented but is now my favorite because i love a good polycule is that#linus & his wife simply add jeremy to their relationship. and then this song becomes jeremy scared to have sex with linus’ wife at first lo#liv in the replies#the interviews in that video doing the lord’s work fr but also that ‘do you not miss him’ feels SO uncomfortable. say no! but then he leans#in with the dirty jokes comment & i know i’ve made like eight variations already (sorry. that’s how my brain works) but it is soooo fun#to me personally if they are broken up but now have to act nice & keep doing all these rituals & sell us on the narrative & they’re just#trying to see who’s going to crack first. needle each other into laughing or getting irritated enough it shows through & the other one wins#do even more aggressive hug rituals!! get a medical warning from the athletic training staff!!!
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that bit in s4/s5 where nathalie and gabriel are going through their brief divorce era is so funny bcus like. she told him to his face that he's insane and she's not helping him anymore and then kept showing up to work anyway. and he can't fire her without having to explain it to adrien and she can't quit without abandoning adrien to deal with Gabriel's bs by himself. so they're stuck in this Skylar and Walter white dynamic meanwhile adrien is like omgg my dad is finally moving on from my mom :) this is so nice :)
#miraculous ladybug#mine.#i love them and their weird divorce and fucked up polycule and shared dead wife issues#i cant wait for nathalie to betray gabriel again
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I like to think that Julia in the Toxicule would also be weirdly obsessive but not in any outwardly aggressive way, just kinda like “Hey Ashley! Are you sure you wanna try that flavor of ice cream? On Thursday the seventh of last month at 7:46 pm while you were sitting on the couch you talked about how you find pistachio flavored stuff gross and I looked into this place’s flavors and that one has a pistachio ice cream base!”
Ashley and Andrew are like “… Our Love what are you talking about?” And she’ll do the same with Andrew too, just somehow having every word said ever memorized. At first it weirds the two out before they go “Okay she agreed to join an incest polycule I guess there had to be something going on.”
They end up kinda finding it hot, Ashley especially is like “ohhhh she remembered such a small but meaningful detail I can’t not let her fuck me”. Julia is completely normal aside from this.
Basically this image:
#apologies I’m still not really writing#writers block is kicking my ass#grub speaks#the Toxicule#the coffin of andy and leyley#tcoaal#ashley graves#andrew graves#tcoaal julia#andrew x ashley#ashley x andrew#shipcest#gravecest#coffincest#proshipper safe#proshippers please interact#andrew x julia#julia x andrew#julia x ashley#ashley x julia#Andrew x Julia x Ashley#Toxicule
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I really thought they'd keep things under wraps until GO3 was released. Big companies like Amazon don't like their actors causing a fuss or being caught in a "scandal", but man oh man looks like things are blowing up in the Sheenantburg "polycule".
Well I wouldn’t jump the gun yet, this doesn’t mean they’re coming out, but I think it might mean they’re not going to play along the new hetero game.
So let’s look a little bit at the timeline, shall we?
David goes to Cali for three weeks. We get content from GT - a video taken giving impression he wasn’t aware, sort of paparazzi shots, some from very far away, a miserable pic of him. He has fun with his kids but there’s nothing GT/DT. Before the trip we already had weird vibes from GT with her constant knocking DT down and having nothing to say about him winning apart from a repost without a good word and then burying the story within shit. Lots of break up songs too, but we were questioning is she reads the lyrics, however, it was weird how the lyrics were always about the same thing.
MS goes to Disneyland. DT goes to Disneyland. At the same fucking time.
Both get a chance to create a happy family image. Separately.
I mean, well, that was deliciously blunt but worked out so so.
Neil pops in to tell everyone that David and Michael are still very much in love just before Assembly and the era of hetero begins.
We figure out why the “happy happy” desperation from AL - Assembly gets released where MS chokes out he’s happy, and then focuses on talking about David and gives it all. AL loses it a little - she tries to interact with fans to push the happiness, reposts articles, fights with Swedish media… it doesn’t work out. While she makes Assembly about her, MS makes it about what mattered. He does not help her.
DT doesn’t help GT push the happy image either.
A blind gets released by Enty. Clearly about them. Stating the women are trying to push the happy family image in Disneyland while men would rather be together.
During the Blind and Assembly stuff, men remain separated. Until Oliviers happens.
GT posts two stories, one telling RadioTimes off for the nice article about DT, then praising one that called DT’s impression “deranged” - on that video she took without his knowledge most likely.
Oliviers, the PR save-the-hetero (aka oh-fuck-the-blind) show happens, where everyone expected some MS/DT action since DT was nominated and MS was announced as the presenter, instead it turns into a circus. The men don’t meet on the red carpet, DT stopped from going back, DT/GT are told to act like in fresh love only for DT to fail the “camera” moments, they’re sat right in the front to be visible playing the game and they overdo it, all it ends up with is MS soft looks at DT, as far as I know DT wasn’t shown at all which BAFTAs would never.
GT (who’s always escaped red carpets is now pushed by PR) tries to recreate the “look into my eyes for the camera” moment from BAFTAs, but DT doesn’t play along. AL pushes with the arm stroking, but MS doesn’t play along.
Two interesting things happen - highly photographed moment of DT sharing a hug with another man, who of course wasn’t MS. And MS presenting an award to someone else. Both felt like attempts at rewriting the history but all they did was highlight the real deal. Because they didn’t play along. Especially MS.
Media focuses on the women in an insane way considering they’re nobodies at Oliviers. Ladies post about the day as if it was their day. Pic with the men gets withheld until the fandom reminds them that they are here for the guys and so with a snark the women post the pic. Finally MS/DT look soft and happy when they’re with each other. MS stands with DT.
Interesting to note, there was no usual “preparing” pics and videos of DT from GT.
DT doesn’t win. GT posts a pic calling him a loser, he looks like he’s on the verge of a mental breakdown on that pic. I don’t know what happened, but he did not look… well.
Even the “normal” fans wince at the caption. She doesn’t even make it a story or anything, it’s right there as a post. Too bad she didn’t create a post when he won Critic’s Choice for his Macbeth (exactly what he was nominated for at Oliviers too), instead reposted a story from another account, added nothing, and buried it within crap. But “loser” got a whole post.
There was also a pic with a fan where DT doesn’t look well either.
GT and AL focus on promotion of themselves.
Yesterday a blurry video gets released of GT slapping her hand at DT to silence him, MS ready to silence her instead, and DT basically pointing at MS and standing closer to him. (Video up to your own interpretation). Sort of felt like it added context to DT looking the way he did at the end of the night.
No usual home selfie either.
And today. David’s Birthday.
GT showed what lovely posts she can create about people she cares about recently. While her story for DT “thanks for being born” was the kindest thing she’s done because for once she didn’t include an insult or “humbling” him, it was quite… well, nothing. Song choice was questionable. The story was cold. The picture was old.
We waited whole day for a post but no. We expected Cali pics, home pics… nope.
Not only she only created a story, right after she also posted HBD for an actress whose birthday wasn’t even on the same day, just to keep her theme of burying anything DT related that wasn’t about GT. But she’s done something interesting on that story - called the actress her favourite tv wife for DT and hashtagged don’t tell MS.
Honestly I just rolled my eyes. Nobody in the fandom would agree with her and trying to take a dig at MS… bad move.
RadioTimes is full of love for DT all day. And so are other accounts. Love is pouring from every side. Somehow GT isn’t keen to repost those articles.
Suddenly AL pops in with a story. And what a story. Not only she’s looking at DT cutout while holding a card “WINNER”, MS is standing between DT and GT, and the caption is “To my partner’s HUSBAND”. Not tv wife. Not “My wife’s husband.” This was just about DT and MS. Song choice has interesting lyrics too:
“There ought to be a law against
Anyone who takes offense
At a day in your celebration”
Winner not loser? Husband not tv wife? Anyone takes offense?
BAFTAs pops in to share a video of MS/DT of DT giving a glimpse of how they have met 20 years ago. Neil pops in to share on tumblr David being called Michael’s husband. You know the they’re-still-in-love guy.
GT reposts the story without a word and buries it. She doesn’t post anything for DT.
So what happened? It’s up to your interpretation.
Mine is this: They were meant to bury the rumours, hence massive hetero show for Oliviers, MS didn’t play along since the beginning, DT tried but fell apart, they snapped, GT took it out on the men, MS snapped back sick of her shitty posts about DT, the same way he did end of last year.
Seeing the way GT acted during that blurry video and today… I think she lost control and now even AL doesn’t side with her. But that one she also only has herself to blame for. And I wonder… who tipped off Enty?
What’s next? Not sure. Clearly PR’s new hetero idea didn’t fly. But was the joy only allowed for DT’s birthday? Or this is it, they won’t play the game anymore? What’s up with GT/DT, are they done but will play the game for the big events or done and won’t pretend anymore either? Am I going to be surprised if hetero bullshit happens anyway? Nah. Anything can happen now, I feel. But this day and what happened during it is a fact. Whatever damage control happens, if it does, won’t erase what happened today.
Interesting!
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Toman Captains + BajiFuyuTora Groupchat
Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of substances, mentions of PTSD
Desc: Baji tries to make a polycule work with some heavy convincing
Baji: alr guys, i'm gonna ask Fuyu and Tora out on a date at the same time
Mitsuya: that's not gonna work
Draken: don't they hate each other? just pick one
Baji: no i'm in love with the both of them so i'm gonna ask both of them out
Baji: also they actually have feelings for each other but haven't realized it yet
Draken: you're pushing it
Smiley: first of all, Kazutora likes women
Baji: no, he has feelings for me but he hasn't realized it yet
Smiley: alright man
Mikey: Baji, your chances are better with Chifuyu. sort that out first because you're gonna ruin the entire friendgroup dynamic with this shit😟
Baji: we're not a friendgroup, we're lovers
Mikey: i'm talking about us, dipshit
Baji: who
Mikey: everyone who isn't Chifuyu and Kazutora??
Baji: idgaf
Mikey: ayt
Pah: weren't we your treasures or smth 🧐?
Baji: i've moved on to bigger things
Baji: smaller twinks
Baji: you get me?
Smiley: Chifuyu's short but he's not a twink.
Smiley: now Kazutora, we can call a twink
Smiley: you guys are using this word wrong
Mikey: it's it just a skinny guy?
Smiley: "a gay or effeminate man, or a young man, regarded as an object of homosexual desire, usually a bottom. they are attractive and slim in appearance."
Draken: this is just Mitsuya
Mikey: 🧐
Mitsuya: ?
Smiley: that is correct but i didn't wanna say anything cause that twink got hands🤷♂️
Mikey: now that i think about it, Mitsuya used to be kinda built. not buff but not skinny. fuck happened
Pah: Draken died
Pah: "died"
Baji: so he stopped eating? lame
Mitsuya: do you guys get how mourning works
Draken: well i'm good now so let's get this grub 🗣
Draken: sorry for making you sad, brother
Draken: it's my mission to bulk you up again
Mitsuya: i'm fine👍
Mikey: no one dying is going to get in between me and a meal😭🙏
Mikey: skill issue on Mitsuya's part
Smiley: skill issue is when your friend dies and you go into a depression so deep that you can't even eat anymore
Mikey: that's what i'm saying❗
Smiley: leave it up to Draken to get shot 3 times in the chest and just walk it off
Smiley: that was kinda hard tho
Draken: thanks👍
Draken: it hurt really bad
Draken: i think it traumatized me
Draken: i can't go to amusement parts now. or listen to fireworks cause i'll start hallucinating shit that happened from that night. weird
Mitsuya: ...that's called ptsd
Baji: yeah man you have ptsd
Draken: what's ptsd
Baji: PTSDEEZ NUTS LMAOOOOOOO
Baji: GOT EM
Draken: i wish your suicide attempt worked you mentally challenged, wanna be werewolf, loreal shampoo ad looking ass bitch
Baji: BANG BANG BANG💣💥💣💥💣💥
Mikey: DUDE💀
Baji: do you guys get it
Baji: it's the gunshots
Baji: because he has PTSD
Baji: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Draken: do you remember how you killed Shinichiro
Baji: 😐
Mikey: GUYS💀
Draken: i'm sorry Mikey
Draken: but
Draken: Baji do you remember when you were screaming his name and watched him bleed to death
Smiley: ☠️
Draken: the skull represent Shinichiro, who you killed
Baji: anyway
Baji: back to my kittens
Baji: before Draken decided to take shit too far😒
Draken: when you go low I'll go lower
Baji: cause you were almost 6 feet under???
Draken: where you put Shinichiro??
Baji: ANYWAY
Mikey: Ken-chin he's gonna kill himself again😔
Draken: that is exactly the point
Baji: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY ANYWAY
Baji: anyway
Baji: back to the topic at hand 😐
Baji: i'm doing it tonight
Mitsuya: ahem
Mitsuya: do you know how awkward it's gonna be when Kazutora rejects you? we don't wanna have to deal with that
Baji: he won't reject me
Mikey: your delusional
Baji: can you guys name a situation in which things didn't work out for me?
Baji: no you can't
Mitsuya: 1) Bloody Halloween??
Draken: 2) Your grades🤨?
Mikey: 3) Not making your mom cry🤔?
Baji: ...
Baji: those don't count
Smiley: it's so hard trying to talk to stupid people
Smiley: he doesn't use logic at all
Draken: Baji don't fucking ask them out
Mikey: ask Chifuyu!!! that f slur is obsessed with you😍
Draken: don't say that word😐
Mikey: i literally didn't say it😭
Mitsuya: Baji please just think for literally one second
Baji: too late cause i just texted them
Mitsuya: omfg
Mikey: you fool😞
Mikey: what did you say??
Baji: i went to our groupchat
Baji: "yo let's cut the bullshit. i'm in love with the both of you so why don't we all date and love each other in a relationship with all three of us and shit"
Baji: i sent that
Smiley: you're very... direct
Smiley: i'll give you that
Smiley: Kazutora's gonna say no
Draken: obviously
Baji: bet
Baji's kittens:
Kazutora: Chifuyu can you please change the fucking groupchat name
Kazutora: i know you and Baji do kinky shit together but i am NOT anybody's kitten
Chifuyu: but Baji-san changed it and i can't change it back if he doesn't want me to
Chifuyu: and Baji-san and i do not do "kinky shit"
Chifuyu: we don't have a sexual relationship😐
Kazutora: you have free will mothefucker!! you don't need his fucking permission
Kazutora: is he your dom or something😭
Kazutora: why are so obsessed with him jesus
Kazutora: you guys are gay af
Chifuyu: just because i don't stab my friends doesn't mean i'm gay
Chifuyu: i just respect him a lot cause he's cool 😒
Chifuyu: nothing you'd know about
Chifuyu: you psychopath
Kazutora: you slobber on his dick all day
Kazutora: "Baji-san!!! What a cool kick!! Can you teach me😁?"
Kazutora: you might as well just ask him to put it in
Chifuyu: shut the fuck up all you've ever known are the prison walls that enclosed you
Kazutora: NOT ANYMORE😁
Baji: ladies, ladies
Baji: there's enough to go around 😏
Baji: ew. alright i'm never using that emoji again what the fuck
Kazutora: CHANGE THE GROUPCHAT NAME
Baji: no
Kazutora: you and Chifuyu can do your pet play somewhere else please leave me out of it 🙏
Baji: nuh uh
Baji: you're a tiger
Baji: tigers are cats
Baji: so you're a kitten
Baji: done deal
Kazutora: i'm an adult tiger not a kitten😐
Baji: i'm the alpha and you and Chifuyu are my omega's
Kazutora: what the fuck does that mean????
Chifuyu: haha Baji-san😂
Kazutora: i've never seen someone ride someone else's meat so hard before holy shit
Chifuyu: if you don't understand what respect is, just say that 🙄
Baji: don't lie Chifuyu
Baji: you're in love with me
Kazutora: LMFAOOOOOOOOO
Baji: you are too Kazutora
Kazutora: 🤨
Baji: yo let's cut the bullshit. i'm in love with the both of you so why don't we all date and love each other in a relationship with all three of us and shit
Baji: you guys are in love with each other too just by the way
Kazutora: what
Kazutora: that's not how anything works
Chifuyu: Baji-san i ask again is this a prank 🤣🤣🤣
Kazutora: it has to be cause i'm not a boy kisser like you mfs
Baji: Kazutora be fr. you just got out of prison, you're clinically insane, you're on parole, people feel unsettled by your presence, you have an ankle bracelet, you belong to the state, you have mommy AND daddy issues, you've killed someone
Kazutora: damn
Kazutora: you didn't have to list it like that
Baji: all i'm saying is that i'm your best option because i don't care about all of this and i'll take care of you for the rest of your life even tho you're crazy
Baji: cause i love you (gayly)
Baji: you could even stab me again
Chifuyu: NO
Baji: Chifuyu shut the up i'll get to you babe
Chifuyu: yes Baji-san
Kazutora: "yes daddy😩😍"
Kazutora: what the fuck dude you could least try to hide it 💀
Baji: can u focus
Kazutora: oh right
Kazutora: what about gay sex tho
Baji: i'll teach you
Kazutora: but you have a dick
Baji: uhhhh
Baji: fine you can use yours
Baji: nah nevermind i'm not a bottom
Baji: fuck you
Kazutora: i didn't even say anything
Kazutora: but whatever ig
Kazutora: i'm not gonna be with Chifuyu tho😐
Baji: you are
Kazutora: 😒
Baji: Chifuyu we've been in love for years so i know you'll say yes. just needed to convince Tora babygirl
Chifuyu: but is this a prank tho🤣🤣
Baji: no
Baji: you are my boyfriend now
Baji: both of you come over
Kazutora: ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
Kazutora: fine
Chifuyu: are the both of you pranking me🤣😂
Baji: just come over you fucking idiot
Baji: that was too mean
Baji: please come over you fucking idiot❤
Captains:
Baji: they said yes and we're all about to have sex now
Mikey: you're just gonna lie Baji
Draken: should i get beers? you can cry if you want i won't even laugh at you
Draken: i promise
Mikey: you're just gonna lie Ken-chin
Mitsuya: what did they actually say
Baji: they're coming over? and we're about to make love? are you guys dumb 🤨
Baji: it worked out how i said it would
Smiley: Draken gets the beers i'll get the cigarettes
Smiley: Baji we tried to tell you
Draken: don't piss me off cause you know i don't smoke
Draken: you're gonna influence Angry into an early grave
Draken: do you want your brother to have lung cancer
Smiley: chill
Smiley: Angry tried a cigarette and almost died
Smiley: so you don't have to worry about that
Smiley: fine i'll bring weed instead
Mitsuya: where are you getting drugs😐
Smiley: my plug, duh 😁
Mikey: can i have a weed as well please
Smiley: idk man what if your dark impulses come out or something
Mikey: my therapist said that only happens with specific triggers so it's fine
Mikey: plus i have a shock collar in case that happens
Draken: i don't think that's normal 🤨
Baji: you guys are pissing me off
Mikey: dude it's fine we can comfort you even tho we told you so
Draken: i'm gonna be the better man and forgive you since you've just been rejected
Baji: yk what idgaf
Baji: i'ma just nut in my kittens
Baji: bye losers
Baji: no one does it like i do
Mikey: poor thing🙁
#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers manga#tokyo revengers groupchat#tokyo revengers texts#tokyo revengers smau#tokrev#sano manjiro/mikey#ryuguji ken/draken#mitsuya takashi#baji keisuke#matsuno chifuyu#kazutora hanemiya#pah#kawata nahoya/smiley#baji x chifuyu x kazutora#bajifuyutora#y'all know the drill with me#reduce reuse recycle😋#if this looks familiar it's because it is#and i've had that EXACT same tag in a different groupchat 😭#anyway i hope you enjoy regardless
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It's been a good run
But it's time to bring this to a close!
The saga is over, C, T and I are all together. T and I are in the swing of it, C approves as much as it is possible for him to approve of anything, everyone knows about the blog and is chill.
C is back at his rightful place of walking his sister down the aisle.
I'm getting everything I want, and we're all free to make each other miserable until the day we die.
I'm not going to be updating this blog anymore! Nobody else involved with the situation will be submitting any more AITA posts either, because they are either not on tumblr or agreed it would be annoying.
I will say that there is some stuff on here that I've alluded to that isn't necessarily 100% in the spirit of things, so I've included some stuff below the cut for the folks who have caught onto that. I would not suggest reading it if you like how all of this played out and want to keep it that way. I know that's incredibly vague, but I'm not sure how to phrase it without making it weird?
Thank you all for listening and talking to me over the past few days! That's where I'm leaving it!
...
...
...
...Is everyone who wants to keep believing in the disaster polycule gone? Yes? OK!
So, this was fake. I made up the whole thing. TK and C and T and everyone else are fictional characters. Did I lie? Yes. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
Q: All of it? Even the og AITA post? The followup AITA post? The screenshots?
A: All of it.
Q: Wh... Why did you do this...?
A: Well, first this all started as a Red vs Blue fanfic for the ship Chexer (Church/Tex/Tucker)-
It started as a fanfic for Chexer. However, I was already working on a different fanfic for RVB that was totalling about 15k words at this point (+ at least 90k to go), and I knew I would never have the time or energy to write this one. I thought: yknow. this would be really funny as an aita post.
Q: It was a fanfic of a Halo fanfic series.
A: Yep!
So, I submitted Tucker's perspective. I did not expect for it to get more than maybe 100 notes at most. I totally thought someone would call it out right away.
The funny part is, if I'd dedicated all this energy to a fic instead of this blog, I'd probably have about 15-20 thousand words of fic already, but whatever, can't ruin my personal day!
Also, I wanted to see how many people would figure it out/how long it would take for it to become too obvious that this was a fandom thing. I was dropping names and RvB lore since the beginning. A few people did figure it out, and I DMed them in private to let them know.
Q: But why make the blog then?
A: Because I love to lie and be a nuisance to the general populace! <3
It was always my intent to wait until Carolina's perspective got posted (i am honestly still shocked i got away with "Carey/Georgia/West Virginia/Alabama/Miss Louisiana 1988"), let it simmer for about a day, then come clean. Which is what I'm doing now!
The reason I'm coming clean now instead of dragging it out is because I don't want anyone to feel stupid or like they got duped. You're not stupid! You were a part of this story! This was, as one anon said, a creative writing project. It was a collaboration! Thank you so much for helping me!
That said, I'm sorry to anyone that finds this disappointing! I had a blast doing this, but I will not be doing it again. I have gotten my fill. I have had my taste of being an influencer, and now I can go on with my life without ever feeling like I need to start a youtube channel.
Q: How did you keep up with a consistent timeline?
A: I didn't, especially at first. But in my time as a liar who lies about things, I have found that usually people are willing to believe you when you say "yeah, i lied about that".
Q: Wait, what about the thing with your kid?
A: Yeah, I fucked up on this one. In the other fic I was/am writing, Tucker was around 33. So, when I was saying what Junior's age was, I subtracted it from 33 and got 18. It wasn't until I was showing my partner the blog and they said "Wait, he had his kid at 13??????" that I realized I had fucked up. Oops!
Q: Was it really ALL fake?
A: For the most part. I will say that I did actually drop chocolate cake all over my tits that one time and had to shower by myself like a fucking loser. That one was true. I did also get my nails done for the first time ever, which did actually affect my typing. And I am in a band (but so is Tucker, canonically)! There are a few other things as well, but I don't want to list all of them.
Q: DID you ever read homestuck?
A: Nope. And I never will.
Even the title, though I will say that the title I came up with was "Leonard "Alpha Bitch" Church's Decidedly Not Lo-Fi Beats to Get Nasty and Get Clean To: The Movie"
Q: So there was never a combination sex/bathtime playlist?
A: Maybe! But perhaps more accurately: the combination sex/bathtime playlist was inside of you all along. You can make it. There are only three songs on there that are canon to the lore of this blog. Those are No Children by The Mountain Goats, Take It Out On Me by Thousand Foot Krutch, and one unknown song from the album Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV by Coheed and Cambria (Yep, the call was coming from inside the house, I gave Church my music taste). I had intended this to be Wake Up, but it's out of my hands now. The rest is yours to fill in.
Q: What's your main blog, so I can follow you?
A: Hi, this is aitadjcrazytimes. You're not getting that.
Q: Your AO3 handle?
A: Nope, not that either.
You will never find me. And that's the way I want it. You will see me in every blog. Every new follower. Every stranger you meet on the street. You will look into your discord kitten's eyes, and you will absently wonder if he was the one behind aitadjcrazytimes. And you will never know for certain.
Q: But-
A: Let me live on in your memory. The only person who knows both who I am and the fact that I did this is my partner, who is not into RvB or commonly on tumblr. I am not a RvB blog. I am not a writing blog. I am a nobody on the fringes of tumblr society who's been here long enough to know how to remain in the shadows.
And, even if you do manage to find me, against all odds:
No one will ever believe you.
I am closing my askbox. I am also closing my messages. If you have anything to say to Tucker or Me (tumblr user aitadjcrazytimes), you are welcome to do so in the replies or reblogs, but you will not be receiving an answer. I'll keep this blog up for anyone that wants to go through after the fact and do a deep dive or what have you.
Thanks to everyone who made this into the wild ride it was! Live long and get fucked or whatever! Xoxo <3
#final post#if you don't say goodbye then aitadjcrazytimes isnt really gone#they're just not here right now#<-so that was a fucking lie -tk from the future
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ok im not going to tag this but i need you guys to know that my endgame ships for eridan and karkat are
eridan ♦️ karkat
eridan ♥️ roxy
roxy ♦️ calliope
eridan ♠️ calliope
karkat ♥️ calliope
i call it "the polycule only a blood player could love" and although it manages to be perfectly healthy, from the outside, everyone looks like they're cheating on everyone else. nepeta is staring at it going ":33 < dodged a fucking bullet!!!"
Eridan ♦️ Karkat
the ship with the most canon backing. this ship needs to be true before all other ships can be true because it keeps the two of them normal enough to have a shot at romancing anybody else. nobody realized they were pale for each other for an embarrasingly long time because their regular day to day conversations feature slurs and death threats. sometimes looks pitch or flushed from the outside because karkat is a mess who can't stop yelling at people he's trying to romance in the red quads, and because eridan gets really needy sometimes.
Eridan ♥️ Roxy
They get together within five minutes of knowing each other and, despite Rose's protests, never ever break up. Eridan is into cute, pink, bubbly, nice girls, and Roxy is into eccentric troubled princes. Not to mention she fucking loves wizards, and Eridan is a wizard, and that they're both hipsters who use rifles. Also Eridan is weird as hell and Roxy thinks he's hilarious for it. Despite the fact that he puts on this unpleasant, nasty act, he'll pretty much do anything Roxy tells him to, and she likes that. She thinks he has himbo energy. Everyone else thinks she's deranged. Like girl that guy is an insane murderer. Girl he will not stop saying slurs
also their specific abilities are diametrically opposed in an interesting way? prince of hope = can destroy anything he believes he can destroy, rogue of void = can create anything by stealing away its nonexistence. neat!
Roxy ♦️ Calliope
since they aren't trolls and don't need to calm each other down, it's not really a proper moirallegiance, but they're bffffffs and the kinds of silly fun-loving gals who would call their friendship a moirallegiance even if it doesn't have the biological components or serve the social function of one. Two girls that just love each other.
Eridan ♠️ Calliope
biologically, cherubs only engage in pitch romances and are attracted to other cherubs that remind them of the other half they lost in predomination. what i'm saying is that calliope - unfortunately for her - has brother issues. initially put off by eridan's superficial similarities to caliborn - his bluster, his riflekind, his insane logic and thick skull, and how damn often he talks about murder - as they get to know each other, the feeling becomes mutual. eridan is generally totally ok with outright hostility, but calliope's faux-nice smugness when taunting an opponent would drive him nuts, as would the earnestness with which she approaches magic (what kind of POSER needs to RELOAD their WAND), and in general, i think he'd take her genuine well-wishes toward other people as a personal affront, a la "i didn't ever need anybody to look after me!"
they somehow have a 50/50 win ratio at the board games they play, which drives calliope nuts. "believing in your pieces" is not a valid chess strategy!!!!!!!!!
also i think it's fun and thematic, the angel killer and the cherub, whose adult form features hope-shaped wings.
Karkat ♥️ Calliope
We know two things from his crush on terezi: the first is that karkat is into clever, cunning gals, and the second is that he's really fucking messy, the kind of guy who would tell his flushed crush to "set the table on his bone bulge for their candle light hate date." Fortunately, or unfortunately??? for calliope, the fact that he will scream obscenities at her is kind of what she's into. everybody, please, a moment of silence for calliope, who somehow manages to have worse taste in men than roxy.
but yeah more seriously, karkat has a big and loving heart, and so does calliope, while calliope maintains a cleverness and intellect that karkat would be into.
normally, it would be a huge problem for your moirail to be pitch for your matesprit, and we have that both ways here. however, a few factors are mitigating that here. first, eridan will always prioritize karkat or roxy over calliope when they're around. this actually does kind of piss her off, although she feels annoyed that it does. second, calliope is generally mature enough to compartmentalize. third, karkat WILL auspicetize if they aren't careful, and nobody wants that. and fourth, everybody wants to keep roxy happy.
but yeah everyone else watching it is like. are you guys okay? blink if you need help
ofc ship what you want to ship this is not at all me telling you what you should be into. im just saying that these ships have been calculated for Maximum Funnyness, which as we know, is the only objective measure for what makes a good homestuck ship
#also eridan does not actually have an ashen relationship bc nepeta is always ready to intervene#and the mere fucking thought of ending up in a relationship with eridan makes all the eridan hates go#noooooooo. nope. no.
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YJ core four polycule? [eyes emoji]
"So, like, polyamory," Cassie says, and Kon nearly falls off the couch.
"What?" he says.
"Polyamory," Tim repeats patiently. "Cassie and I have been discussing it. We both figured we were going to be the complicated ones here so we were just getting the 'complicated' out of the way in advance."
"You–discussing it?!" Kon chokes as Bart visibly brightens next to him. They're both sitting on the couch in the Titans Tower rec room. Tim and Cassie are standing side by side in front of them in their combined version of leader-mode, which Kon sort of hates and sort of loves and sort of wants to run away and die over.
"Oh thank god, I was worried you guys' socialization was gonna be weird about this," Bart says in obvious relief, clapping his hands together. "Like holy crap but literally everyone in this time period is just such total prudes. Uh. No offense. And like, no lie, the subjective time wait on you all finally figuring out that the four of us should all be kissing each other has been absolutely killing me."
"Sorry for the delay," Tim says with a faint smile that makes Kon's guts want to turn inside out in a good way, assuming that there's any possible "good way" to do something like that. And also, unfortunately, makes him want to throw up. "Cassie and I have been negotiating. And establishing some boundaries."
"Also working on a plan of attack to get us all on a date together," Cassie says. "Tim wanted to do a power point presentation, which I immediately vetoed. So like, there's absolutely a secret power point presentation that he thinks I don't know about if you two wanna see it."
"Yesplease!" Bart blurts immediately, sitting bolt-upright in his seat and looking delighted.
"Sure?" Kon tries, because maybe the power point thing will buy him enough time to stop freaking out.
It does not.
Tim has slides. And graphs. And pictures. And even a little speech prepared, too. He lists all sorts of absolutely dumb and totally weird reasons that they all obviously like each other and how they might all work well in a romantic relationship together and smiles again like four more times and the whole thing is like stupidly adorable and even color-coded and Kon's entire fucking heart breaks in his chest watching it.
He wants that. He wants the others to be right. Wants what Tim is currently pitching to the group of them in the middle of the tower rec room like this is a mission briefing or a battle plan or some stupid high school science class project. He's wanted exactly this for a genuinely fucking embarrassing amount of time, in fact.
But he can't give them that.
He's not . . .
Kon swallows. It hurts. Bart vibrates with glee beside him and Cassie hides a little grin behind her hand and Tim smiles at all of them again as he switches slides. They're all being so cute. All being so sweet. All being so perfect.
Kon wants to kiss all three of them and wrap his arms all the way around them all at once and never, ever let go of a single fucking one of them, not for anything.
But he can't give them what they're asking him for.
Which was fine, before they actually went and asked him for it. It was fine when it was just him pretending to himself, just him being greedy and weird and thinking stupid little secret thoughts that would never see the light of day or actually amount to anything. That never could've actually amounted to anything.
It's not fine anymore.
It's not fine anymore, and Kon can't be okay with that anymore.
#core four#superboy#wonder girl#dc robin#dc impulse#young justice#rinfic#mandaloriandy#wip: it's not fine anymore
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so i was listening to abba and thinking about tlt and it occurred to me that gideon nav also had three potential 'fathers' (john, g1deon, and pyrhha) and:
tlt mamma mia!au - gideon was raised by wake on a greek island(???)
gideon wants to find her dad but can't think of a way to get her mum to tell her who he is (wake's always kept really schtum about it)
she comes up with the terrible plan of a fake wedding so she can invite her dad
cam and pal, who are with her, think this is dumb
gideon is going to do it anyway
she enlists harrow to be a fake fiancee since cam and pal are currently dating dulcinea
harrow's like "wtf you're so weird wait no don't ask anyone else"
gideon asks her mum to invite her dad to the wedding please please pretty please
wake agrees but admits she has no idea who gideon's bio-dad is and tells her the names of the three people it might be
g1deon, pyrrha, and john arrive on the island and SURPRISE! they all know each other
hijinks ensue (john's brought augustine and mercy and accidentally reunited his postgrad polycule)
griddlehark fall in love and decide to date for real
pyrrha and wake get married bc they already booked the venue
john and the lyctors fuck offscreen
alexa play dancing queen
#tlt fanfic#the locked tomb#gideon nav#tlt#harrowhark nonagesimus#griddlehark#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#awake remembrance of these valiant dead#commander wake#mamma mia!#john gaius#gideon the first#pyrrha dve
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Vox and Velvette continuing to work with Valentino confuses me. Like, not even from a morality standpoint or "oh he treats them like shit", it's just a weird fuckin business choice. That man almost ruined one of Velvette's shows because he was throwing a tantrum, Vox regularly has to prevent him from causing scenes in public, he ACTIVELY ENCOURAGES VOX TO CAUSE A SCENE IN PUBLIC, he just seems like more trouble then he's worth, y'know? And on the surface it really does seem like he'd be pretty easy to get rid of. Since Vox could ABSOLUTELY kick his ass to kingdom come(like c'mon he can hold his own against ALASTOR-), and Vox and Velvette combine control literally all of the media in Hell(sans radio), they could kick Val out, or even straight up kill him, and then flood Hell with propaganda painting themselves as Good and Correct for this(which to be fair wouldn't be hard...). So then like. Why are they still working with him.
And then I remembered ~soul contracts~ and was like. Wait nvm that makes sense.
Right out the gate gotta make it clear that I do NOT MEAN THAT VAL OWNS THEIR SOULS OR ANYTHING that would be stupid. I mean like, social/political/whateverthefuck overlords got going on power works differently in Hazbin Hell then it does in any other setting. The Vees don't just have their reputation, they also have their soul contracts. And Valentino owns a LOT of souls. So, no matter how much propaganda the other two throw out there, no matter how low they drag him, Hell even if they kill him!, Vox and Velvette would lose a LOT of power by getting rid of Val. No matter how much damage he could do to the brand, they keep him around because he's better off as an ally then he is as an enemy, and he just. Hasn't done anything either consider egregious enough to outweigh any possible benefits of working with him, I guess. Small, fixable incidents that may damage the brand VS losing all those souls? The answers kinda obvious. There also might be a contract going on between the Vees but that's less about their souls being bound or whatever and more about like. Business. So. Not particularly dangerous for any of them I don't think.
Also there are two smaller reasons I'd like to discuss before I stop rambling: 1; Velvette probably uses Val's spit to make the love potions and 2; emotional connections with the other Vees.
The love potion thing is kinda obvious. Without Val, Velvette wouldn't be able to make her roofie juice, and since this is. Hell. Where all the sexually deviant freaks go to rot. Of course that's gonna be a popular item. And while I think the Vees would probably be fine if they took it off the market, that would still probably take a sizable chunk out of their profits, y'know? They can't really make it without Val's weird, disgusting pheramone spit.
And reason number 2: emotional connection. The Vees are a horrendous toxic polycule and we all know it. While I, personally, don't think Velvette and Valentino are dating(I still don't fucking trust that man and it's bad enough that he's involved with Vox), they do both have chemistry with Vox, and probably are at least on decent terms since they like. Sit together sometimes. WHATEVER THIS ISN'T A VEES RELATIONSHIP ANALYSIS(Im saving that for later)- basically what I'm saying is that Vox and Velvette probably, on some level, do care about and trust(?) Val, and vice versa. How much do they care? Unclear. Val's capacity for love is still TBD and Vox and Velvette's relationship seems a bit shakey at best, like they don't *fully* trust eachother, but there's still affection there!!! The Vees are exactly why we don't let villains discover the power of friendship, people!!!!!!!!! Like their part in the Finale is all the proof I need. You don't dance around like that with your business partners/fuck buddies lmfao, there's gotta be some genuine feeling there. So, at least a small part of why Val is still. Here. Is because Vox and Velvette do care about him. And, despite the fact that the three of them are entirely morally bankrupt and will probably die next season(god please don't let Vox die he's so silly :(), I can't help but find it sweet that they do kind of care about eachother. Like it's nice <3
(Genuinely though I am still worried for Vox and Vel's safety like idc how bad those two are idc if they're on decent-ish terms with Val most of the time he is still the most realistically dangerous character in the damn show besides *maybe* Alastor's serial killer ass and anybody within a 10 foot radius of him should be considered At Risk)
#hazbin hotel#the vees#hazbin vox#hazbin velvette#hazbin valentino#staticmoth#kind of#poly vees#voxvalvel#valvoxvel#velvalvox#velvoxval#!?!?!?! what the fuck is the ship name here help#actually I think velvoxval sounds the best and fits the structure of the polycule so Im gonna go with that#but if there's a different name being used lmk ig#late night ramblings#gal overanalyzes random shit
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What Your Favorite Worm Ship Says About You
some people have found my crusty, old ass tumblr post on this very topic, so im making a new one with my updated opinions! Cause those are, in fact, allowed to change.
Enjoy!
Taylor x Lisa: you're into relationships that could be dysfunctional or healthy with one push in either direction. also something something sun lesbian moon lesbian.
Taylor x Rachel: You love dogs, and you want a girlfriend who can kick your ass. You're also into bomber jackets. I respect you.
Taylor x Alec: Sadly, you do exist, and you did make it weird. Go away!
Taylor x Amy: You read altpowers on the daily and complain about canon worm being too grimdark. Solid odds on you having never read worm. To be clear, it's worse if you have. also something something FBI OPEN UP
Taylor x Victoria: You like the vibes of Lisa and Taylor's dynamic, but you want them to be a little more heroic and a little less dysfunctional. But only a little.
Taylor x Clockblocker: You're straight and liked that one joke that cropped up. I also haven't seen any of you in a hot minute, thank god. No offense but this ship is mad boring.
Taylor x Sophia: You've come to realize that Sophia is a great character who gets done extremely dirty by the rest of the fandom. Also, rivals to lovers.
Taylor x Emma: This can go one of two ways. Either you adore childhood friends to lovers, or you love enemies to lovers. Either way, you're obsessed with hurt and/or comfort fics.
Taylor x Theo: You actually read Worm and recognize that Theo is criminally underrated in the fandom. Now just stop shipping him with Taylor and you'll complete the next step on your journey to enlightenment.
Taylor x Simurgh: I can't say for sure you're a anime fan, but you're definitely at least a little bit of a monsterfucker. also something something inherent eroticism of being world-destroying power couple.
Taylor x Greg. You read Worm SI's unironically and get really defensive when people say that Greg is an incel. Completely unrelated, you haven't spoken to a woman other then your mother in five years.
Taylor x Cherie: I've been informed this is a ship. I've yet to be informed as of a reason why I should like it. Cherie likers stay mad!
Lisa x Rachel: I don't remember the last time I saw this ship that wasn't also tagged as a polycule with Taylor, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're an OT3 enjoyer.
Lisa x Victoria: You’re into the “enemies to lovers” trope, but more of the "Spiderman x Black Cat" type then the "you murdered my entire home town but i can't help but find you sexy" type. Also you have a thing for blondes
Lisa x Faultline: Your ideal relationship dynamic is bickering married couple. You're also into heist movies.
Lisa x Simurgh: You have a thing for smart girls... who hate you. Also, you really liked Part of the Whole.
Contessa x Alexandria: You're fucking based. Also something something inherent eroticism of girlbosses winning
Contessa x Numberman: you're friends with Peri and enjoy memes about pants and math
Numberman x Jack Slash: You think serial killers are hot and are starved for m/m ships.
Danny x Eidolon: You're losersexual and are starved for m/m ships. Also you frequent r/wormemes
Danny x Miss Militia: Honestly, i think you all died out. I couldn't be happier, this ship is fucking dumb.
Amy x Literally Anyone Besides Taylor: listen, there's like a hundred different jokes i could make here, but all of them boil down to amy defenders always defending the rapist for some reason so let's just agree amy defenders are fucking cringe and move on
Dragon x Defiant: You understand that this is unironically the only healthy relationship in worm with some of the best character growth and romance in the entire story, and a majority of all of it happens off screen. You're extremely bitter that so many fanfics do both of them so dirty they get beaten into different characters.
Alec x Aisha: You like the idea of this ship, cause two pranksters making everyone miserable is the kinda vibe you enjoy, but constantly run into the issue that Alec is...well. Alec. That or you're into Alec's brand of shit, in which case, FBI OPEN UP
Aisha x Missy: You read It's Cold Out There Every Day. I did too. Fuck, this fic is so good. I'm going to go cry about the ending again.
Lily x Sabah: Yes, you know the age gap is a little problematic, you just want to be happy with your relatively healthy canon lesbians goddamn it
Purity x Literally Anyone: You don't understand why people keep calling you racist. You're not! You're just weirdly defensive of the hot milf who murders people of color and seem to constantly bring up that Kaiser didn't actually believe the nazi propaganda he was peddling. You are racist btw
Taylor x Brian: You...are Wildbow
#worm#parahumans#wormblr#shipping#all of my opinions are objectively correct btw#if you disagree with me you are wrong and must improve yourself#@ everyone reading this and being upset i didn't include your incredibly niche ship: stay mad#jokes aside im only including stuff i've actually seen in like.#more then one or two fics
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hmmm i was thinking about ships in reborn au au (i am....... so sorry)
kakashi/obito is one of those ships were i just.... assume it's going to happen if they're allowed to interact a sufficient amount in a fic. the reincarnation for just one person aspect makes me feel kind of weird about it, BUT i think every obito ship is fucked up nature and also we can limit any shippy interactions to them be certified adults. so idk just skip this one if you're squicked lmao
anyway, then i was like "well i can't just do NOTHING with rin" and the natural conclusion is: fucked up confusing polycule mess
rin still has an unrequited crush on kakashi from ages like 12-15. she has also just assumed throughout her teenaged years that obito likes her, bc that explains uuuuh a lot o his behavior towards her. BUT he has never made a move on her or admitted it; this is just her assumption. bc he never acts on it they have a pretty normal friendship (obito's ACTUAL feels are significantly weirder and more complicated: he no longer has a crush on her, but he REMEMBERS having one on her when he was actually 12 and how good being innocent and in love made him feel, so he wants to spend time with her and make sure she's safe and happy. also if you're mean to her he will set you on fire)
anyway!! konoha recruits tori+deidara when team minato is ~22. obito immediately takes on what rin interprets as a big brother role to them, which she thinks is..... cute? admirable? a secret soft side to obito??
rin has dated around a little bit and obito has always gotten weird about it (he hasn't ever STOPPED HER from doing what she wants, but she's aware that kakashi has had to advise him against giving some.... weird shovel talks) so she assumes he still likes her. and now she's seeing him interact with cute genin in a positive way, and she like hmmmm oh no maybe i DO like obito
so from obito's POV he doing something completely platonic with rin one day-- like idk, something you'd do with a friend but COULD be romantic, like going to watch fireworks or something, and she tries to kiss him. naturally he runs away and ends up face down on tori's floor sobbing because rin is the ONE PERSON he's actively trying to do right by
tori: okay but you can't just RUN. be an adult. talk to her.
obito: (wordless whining noises)
in the other timeline obito would have kissed rin in a heartbeat!! but now it's-- it's weird!! he can't do that to her!!! she is his precious pure angel!!!
tori: she's like 24? she murders people for a living??? obito i think she can decide who she kisses. she's not the kid you keep pretending she is and it's not fair to her to go on thinking about her like that
obito: (rolls around)
tori: well would you do this to kakashi?
obito: (stops rolling around) do what to kakashi
tori: idk i've just always hypothesized that fucking him would fix you
obito:
obito:
obito: why would you put that in my head
so now obito is haunted by the idea that he COULD just kiss rin, because maybe she wants him to and this rin is a whole other person from HIS rin, and also maybe perhaps he should fuck kakashi
obito: AND THEN GIVE HIM MY EYEBALL
tori: wow, no.
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ok but know I need you to Tell Me Things about the Zeldas. all of them. I am literally*bouncing*.
(I love how both your TP Link and Zelda have RBF. they have truly Had It)
HEHE sorry i held onto this ask until I had all the Zelda designs posted, and then I,,,forgot to do that lol.
some Bonus Zelda thoughts! some of this i've maybe said before idk:
ALTTP Zelda
her armor is more ceremonial than practical. While I didn't give this to every Queen Zelda, I liked the idea of the princess's pauldrons progressing to more plate armor in the queen's dress. That's also why I changed her color scheme to blue to differentiate from the princess' pink (exceptions for this being HW Zelda who wears red as queen, ST Zelda who still wears pink as queen and BOTW Zelda who wore blue as princess)
anyway. she's more of a scholar than a warrior but she still has killer aim with a bow
her pet project has been recovering, restoring, and filling in the gaps of the royal library and archive. Mage helps her out with this as he has a knack for stumbling upon forgotten ancient texts in his travels
A lot of ppl assume she's rather prim or austere but she's actually got a lot of whimsy and humor in her. It's why she and Mage get along so well :D
She lets Mage get away with a lot of shenanigans and keeps the royal guard from arresting his ass all the time
if mage is ur weird uncle she's like. ur cool aunt
Tetra
she's still sailing the seas with her crew!
she and Wake have had a bit of a falling out though, partially over disagreements about searching for New Hyrule, and have gone their separate ways for now. There's not any real animosity between them, just like,,,frustration. They'd still do anything for each other.
She's got 2 pistols and a cutlass and she knows how to use them
She could bench press Wake. easily.
She's brash and commands a lot of respect but she's also a lot of fun to be around. She's brutally honest and says what's on her mind.
I think she still feels a lot of confusion and frustration about the revelations about her lineage and the role King Daphnes seemed to force on her because of it. She doesn't want much to do with what the divine. She values the freedom sailing on the sea gives her.
TP Zelda
she's. so tired. a lot of the responsibility of rebuilding the kingdom has fallen squarely on her shoulders. She's holding shit together by a thread but by god is she holding it together.
Looks pretty cold and unapproachable but she has a kind heart. She cares deeply for the people of her kingdom. She would sacrifice a lot for them and already has.
Never relaxes. Works like 24/7. get this girl a hobby
Midzel canon. Midna also had a thing with Link but it wasn't a polycule more of a this is my girlfriend Midna and this is Midna's boyfriend Link kind of a situation. Anyway she misses Midna.
Wolf and Zelda are like. coworkers. They haven't really gotten any closer in the aftermath of everything. Wolf wants nothing to do with playing the role of the hero in a political sense like Zelda keeps asking him to. I don't think Zelda necessarily blames him for escaping that responsibility, but she Is frustrated she doesn't have that luxury.
MC Zelda
a little cutie!! very bubbly and extroverted and curious about the world. She spends a lot of time outside of the castle running around with Mini. The King is so glad she's safe after everything he still just lets her do whatever she wants lol
She used to be the one dragging Mini into shenanigans all the time but he's gained a lot of confidence over his quest and is less timid now. now they are equally engaging in shenanigans
Hangs out with Malon too!! The three of them are besties
I like to think she can also still see the minish even if she can't shrink down to their size. she thinks they're so cute. Maybe mini gives her a jabbernut so she can speak to them too :-)
She helps Mini build his fucked up little trash robots. She also pretties them up with paint
scolded by castle staff frequently for getting grass stains and dirt on her nice clothes lol. She probably isn't usually running around in her full princess garb though.
Like Mini, has mostly refused to process most of what happened to her and is just trying to enjoy life.
Prince Zel
I went back and forth about whether or not I wanted to go with naming him Sheik or not. I decided against it since this is the version of him that never had to become Sheik. He keeps Zelda as a legacy name and shortens it to Zel most of the time.
Pretty lonely in the castle without many friends his age. He desperately wants to be better friends with Mask but is mostly rebuffed.
Even though he doesn't have to become Sheik in this timeline, I think he has begun training with Impa. Just under a lot less duress
Still occasionally has prophetic visions but has become somewhat hesitant about sharing them. I think he understands a little more of what went on in other timelines than he lets on, but he doesn't know or put together all of it.
Often described as odd or intense or standoffish by ppl who meet him but he can be really chatty and lively under the right circumstances
HW Zelda
Her armor is also mostly ceremonial, even though she's definitely more of a warrior queen. She and War are both dressed to project 'peace time' and 'prosperity'. She has other sets of armor that are more suited for combat.
She and War are a lot alike, calculating and cunning, which is why they understand each other. It's also why they're often at each other's throats. They're not really above backstabbing each other, though has Queen she has a lot more leverage.
She's not exactly warm or particularly kind, but she does care about the safety of the Kingdom.
Also never relaxes and works like 24/7
Constantly dealing with a tense, power-hungry and antagonistic court looking to undermine her authority. She has her own private ambitions she's working towards.
ALBW Zelda
She's a really charming and fun person! very down to earth as Queen and a lot more willing to eschew tradition.
She comes across as carefree but she's been ruling Hyrule by herself since she was young and has been subject to a lot of pressure. She had to grow up pretty fast and is wiser than she seems at first glance. She has her court and the people's respect.
She and Mirror share an interest in fashion and the arts. They're,,, they're both theatre kids.
I don't have a lot of other headcanons abt her yet sorry but. i love her
ST Zelda
Has been crowned Queen at the ripe old age of 16 because the last time they appointed a chancellor he turned out to be a demon who stole her body. so
She does not feel ready to be Queen at all but she's doing her best. She's determined not to let anybody push her around again.
She's taken an interest in learning how to fight after the events of spirit tracks. She never wants to feel as helpless as she did then, trapped as a ghost outside her body. Also she really enjoyed hitting things with a giant sword in her big phantom armor. She's become a much better swordsman than Spirit ever was lol
She specifically requested her own suit of armor to mimic the phantom armor
she's pretty protective of Spirit
BOTW Zelda
I think she was conscious for all 103 of those years fighting ganon, even if it seems somewhat blurry and surreal to her now. She remembers it in fits and bursts. She often feels disconnected from her body.
She has no interest in reviving the monarchy or ruling over Hyrule again. However she does have an interest in rebuilding Hylian towns and helping all of Hyrule recover. She still feels like it's her responsibility, not because of her role as princess, but because of what she perceives as her own failure to avert tragedy.
she doesn't just blame herself though- she blames the gods and her father too.
Right now though she's mostly taking a break to get her bearings and recover from 103 years of endless fighting. She and Slate travelled around Hyrule for a while at first, and now she's settled in Hateno trying to figure out how to be normal again. Some rebuilding efforts have already started spearheaded by Hudson and she helps out with those.
SKSW Zelda
honestly not even she is sure what parts of her are herself and what parts are hylia. it's as disconcerting for her as it is for Loft. She's both frustrated that he looks at her differently now and understands completely why he does. She still wishes he wouldn't.
she remembers more about being the goddess than she necessarily lets on
she's really invested in the settlement on the surface and is basically its unofficial leader. she puts a lot of time and effort into making sure everything is going according to plan and that they have everything they need to keep living on the surface
she's protective of Loft and worries a lot for him. She blames herself for a lot of what he struggles with now and wants to make it better.
she's not the fun police though, she likes a death-defying loftwing stunt as much as the next person
she did become a knight after the events of skyward sword! They don't really wear the uniforms down on the surface much anymore though and it's become less of a formal order while everyone focuses on building and improving the village.
She's been working on her swordsmanship
I think she really loves music and singing
#long post#bonus lore#dusting off that tag#bonus alttp zelda#bonus tetra#bonus tp zelda#bonus oot zel#bonus albw zelda#bonus mc zelda#bonus botw zelda#bonus hw zelda#bonus skord zelda#bonus links#bonuslinks#bonuslinksdotjpg
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ENNU EPILOGUE RECAP!!
OKay! So, our campaign ended! Yesterday was the 81 session, and last one of it- Our DM did a wonderful job at running it. We basically got to ask them for the scenes we'd like to see, and the session was built around that. It's been three years, so it was wild to see it come to an end! Here's a recap tho (a lil bit more focused on my blorbos since they're the ones you know)
The epilogue happened two years after the campaign's end, with a couple of flashbacks going some time back
First scene was welcoming Blasma (one of the party members), who had been on a trip all this time to heal her soul at her grandpa's dubious laboratory. She's pretty okay currently- if we ignore soul healing is something theoretically impossible. Probably many questionable things happened there. Osten traveled with her to make sure she was doing okay
Next scene was her welcoming party. A bunch of shenanigans happened. Yxala tried so play cool aunt, got her a motorbike. They ended in somewhat odd terms and my girl was trying so bad to get her trust again
Pulsar and Tephra- each polycule's kids- appeared to be overall terribly adorable. Yxala talked a lot about her Sweet Potato. Tephra is Yxala and Relé's biological kiddo (as evidenced by the branched horns), 6 months old, and just one of these big hefty babies who is starting to munch on everything (here's a token of baby her, and what she's like grown up!)
we also got to see the closure of Mythannae, Yden and Jorven's polycule! Myth and Yden recovered their enchanted clothing business. They specialize in magical clothing adapted to specific needs- Like fireproof clothing for fire genasi, helmets with bag-of-holding like pockets so you can put them on with horns, that stuff. Jorven has now been working on music again. (For context, Myth was my previous character before I switched for Yxala!)
Blasma's player also had an epilogue for his previous character- she's a tired old lady, who is now joining another tired old lady to get in politics. An improvement, given they were cops before that
Centi got to resurrect the weird celestial wife of an old teacher of hers- Who had been snatched up by Sol Ascensus and transformed into a monster. I can't wait to show Niereva to y'all tho, she's a bit of a weird aminal (a mantis/naga-like aasimar)
She may have done a fucked up pact with a psychopomp tho-
We had Yxala's, Relent's and Uri's wedding, we knew that was coming! It took Urion a long while to recover from after the Deep Lab, and they still struggle a lot with that they did as The Onirist
We had a scene of Urion's recovery. Initially they didn't even want to come to terms with being Urion- They were The Onirist. Relé had a hard time forgiving them too, bc they DID hurt Relent a lot. Yxala was a bit more fine about it, even after having her heart carved out by them.
they're all going to therapy lol
There's actually a cult to The Onirist/Ataraxia now though! Some people loved the idea of a godly machine that could solve everyone's hurts and ailments, and they're asking for them to come back and fix the world. maybe the mind control microchips were fine, y'know
(uri isn't doing great about this)
We had the ceremony- Money and seeds are given to the partners as a sign of prosperity and life. They're gonna have a great garden.
The polycule drank (alcohol-free) wine imbued with each other's blood too bc ceremonies there go hard- (this one is seen as a bit more archaic)
And a major exchange between marrying partners is expected. They exchanged basses- They had them custom made many decades ago, with Urion's being based on clouds (after Relé), Relé's being based on fire (after Yxala), and Yxala's being based on bismuth crystals (after Uri's). Now Uri has the fiery bass, Relé has the bismuth one, and Yxala has the cloudy bass
Urion was the bassist for Demonwire, a group they were a part of with some other anarchist friends. This bass has a very long history and it's very significative. Yxala was a bit shocked.
After that, the wedding after-party took place. Blasma set a date with Osten- They didn't actually get romantically involved up until now (and it's probably gonna be very slow still gfhudhdgf)
I forgot to mention this but Urion and Relent are now involved with an organization to help the people who were affected by the Deep Lab and The Onirist's actions. Uri had a very awkward interview about it.
We had few other closure scenes here and there. Finding out two other npcs are marrying, the fact the weird undead guy somehow has a new kid, that stuff- and then we went onto the final one
Which was a concert by Demonwire. Urion played with them for the first time in 12 years, and gave an awkward speech, and it was super sweet and just a great point to end the campaign in!
With that, we're now set to go play the next campaign- Which will happen 8 years after this epilogue (ten years after the end of the major campaign events). I'm going to be playing Siegmund, one of Yxala's kids, and I'm very excited for that.
Yxala won't be doing any major stuff- She's gonna still go fight corpos in the streets and she's going back to the Mecha Derby (did y'all know she was a mecha pilot in a sports competition lmao. I'm working on her pilot fit, it's cool!). Urion is going to be back on Demonwire, mostly to raise funds for those hurt by The Onirist and Ataraxia, and will have a bigger role coming up- Specially given Siegmund's (and Vyxander, his twin) have a lot to do with that. Relent will also be doing some major stuff, but it will remain spoilery for a time. He's got some big things to handle!
I may have cried a bit at the end because it's been so long. I'm glad the characters won't be fully gone. Next campaign will have a lot more lore stuff to gush about- We're going to adventure outside the city, and meet people from all over the world. There's a country that uses souls in place of nuclear fission. It's gonna be wild! (And thank you for reading-)
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