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carinyms · 3 years

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I've scrolled through a lot of discourse on episode 4 of Loki and I need to talk about it

(good lord its a whole essay im sorry)

I gave myself a headache from crying while watching this. (I joined the Loki fandom post-IW so I’ve never had to see him die before while emotionally invested and boy!!! Is it doing things to my fragile psyche!!). But now I’m rehydrated and more stable and ready to party so let’s go

Right off the bat, I loved this episode — loved it loved it loved it. Silly, manic in-shock Loki is gone and shit is getting real. My thought while watching this was truly “wow this is my favorite episode so far” and damn am I in a minority with this opinion lol.

So here’s my perspective on some of the discourse flying around, and just general thoughts

On the whole ‘Narcissist’ thing:

IMO, Mobius saying this means nothing: he’s mad and he’s spouted lies at Loki to push his buttons before (see: every interaction they’ve had since episode 1).

Loki saying this to Sif-- well, Loki is and always has been an unreliable narrator on himself. The major theme of this show is that he doesn’t really know who he is, deep down, and he’s trying to figure it out. The TVA is taking advantage of this, and even though he’s trying to stay above it all throughout the series, he's still in a really impressionable spot and absorbing what others tell him about himself. (not to mention this scene is literal torture and he’s already proven that he’ll say whatever he needs to to get out of it.)

But he does admit one true thing when he says “It’s because I’m scared of being alone.” (And like wow okay same don’t mind my tears) but here’s a big brain idea!

Sif pulls him up and says ‘You are alone, and you always will be’, which is like, WOW that’s cruel after what he said, but it makes me ask wonder: Sif is sentient in this scene, but obviously it’s not really her. Who’s controlling her? And why is it so important for them to make sure Loki thinks he’s alone? I’d go as far as to wager that Sif never even said this to Loki, the big bad made this up. (he admits he forgot about this ever happening, I doubt he’d remember what she said.)

I think the nexus event on Lamentis that caused the branch was two Loki’s joining sides. Or, Loki no longer being alone. Loki insists while talking to Mobius that “she’s not my partner!” but she was, and they were partners from the moment they grabbed hands on Lamentis — right when the timeline broke off. I think Loki variants teaming up is the biggest threat to whoever is pulling the strings here — that’s why the post-credit scene is so significant. (Is Loki the only person who has multiple variants of himself who've escaped the TVA?)

And here’s where I’m gonna get salty--so I apologize but i need to rant about this-- but it’s seriously pissing me off that so many people are intentionally reading this as Loki/Sylvie and then being mad about it when that’s clearly not what’s happening and why is everyone acting like Mobius with one angry jealous brain cell and no critical thinking about the context of the characters.

If people ship it that’s chill, but for the people who are against it—it’s clearly supposed to be platonic, and it’s so upsetting that in the year of our lord 2021 we still can’t have a man and woman hold hands without people saying it’s proof they want to f*ck each other, like what in the misogyny??? STOP. This show was written by a bi woman and Tom the-most-emotionally-sensitive-man-on-this-planet Hiddleston — let them display an intimate loving friendship goddammit. This isn’t romance, this is Loki learning how to admit he cares for someone who cares for him in return — something he hasn’t experienced a whole lot of and clearly doesn’t know how to navigate.

(You have permission to personally come at me if it actually turns out to be romantic by the end of the show—but as of right now I will die on this hill.)

Him putting his hands on her shoulders to me was a clear indication he wanted to hug her, and I’d like to think he would have told her he cares about her, and that they can figure it out together. Because these are two characters who’ve never had anyone else to rely on and trust, and for the first time they’re not alone.

And I have to think about what prompted this from Loki. He just lost Mobius the moment after he called him friend. The way I see it, he’s just realized the true gravity of what they’re up against, and Loki is suddenly very afraid of losing Sylvie too before he tells her cares about her, of dying truly alone because he never told anyone what they meant to him. (Don’t think about this in the context of him also having watched his entire family die knowing he never told Frigga or Thor how much he loved them either don’t think about it—) He’s realized, finally, that he has doesn’t have to be alone, that he can choose to be close to people and have friends. And god it’s so heartbreaking that he never got to hug her or have that moment with her. I really hope they get that in the end. I hope he gets it with Mobius. I hope they have a group hug. I'm upset again.

Okay, deep breath, ANYWAY.

Hopefully this didn’t come off as attacking anyone else’s opinions.

Personally, I love this character so much, I’m just so happy to be seeing him in his own storyline that they can’t go wrong here. Objectively I think the production is amazing, and personally I love they way Loki’s character has been explored so far. (Yea yea, was I HOPING that the bad-memory loop would morph into Sanctuary and Thanos and like a full exploration of his true worst memories? Yes but let’s be honest my whump needs will never be met in canon and I have to accept that lol.)

Honestly I left all my own meta about this character at the door when the series started, because for me the opinions I’ve formed from the hundreds of (amazing) fics and meta I’ve read on this character and what’s true in canon are basically inseparable at this point, and no portrayal is going to live up to the way Loki exists in my head. Canon Loki and fic Loki are two different characters and I can enjoy both at the same time :) I’ve just loved seeing the character get given the different dimensions he deserves, and written by people who care about his story.

Also, it’s not over! If he was dead and this was it I’d be very upset, but this is the rock bottom of the storyline, and I think the whole next two episodes will be the build back up. I trust it’s gonna be worth it. SO hyped for flaming sword Loki. I would die for Sylvie, but I’m excited to see him on his own again.

My current most pressing questions are:

-what was the fallout of Sylvie’s bombing the timeline? (Have we seen that yet, am I just dumb and missing something?)

-Obviously, who’s behind it all? (Kang? Is there a head honcho Very Evil Loki at the top?)

-How much does Ravonna actually know, and to what extent is she just a pawn too? She asked Sylvie to prune her— she’s probably also been duped here.

-Is everything we learned about the sacred timeline BS? How much of what the TVA workers believe is real?

-my favorite theory so far is that the war of the timelines miss minutes talks about hasn’t actually happened yet, maybe making setting that into motion is the true endgame, leading into Multiverse of Madness?

(Side note: holy HELL im so excited for this soundtrack to drop on Spotify. It’s SO AMAZING I had CHILLS in the end credits.)

Open invitation to discuss anything with me if you feel inclined! :)

#if you read all of this please come say hi and be my friend because I don't know if even I'd read all this lol #loki #loki show #loki series #loki show spoilers #loki spoilers #loki series spoilers #loki show discourse #loki show positive #my disaster son has a show

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chyornaya-vdova · 5 years

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Visiting Asgard

For the Brutasha Week 2019. Prompt: Travel/vacation

AO3 ff.net

That was amazing. They barely stepped through the gate before the whole team —minus Thor of course— froze at the sight before them. The God of Thunder suggested to go to Asgard together. Have a few free days and relax. Of course Tony was in immediately and since the rest of them were also curious about Asgard they agreed, too.

And now here they were, walking on an actual rainbow bridge to the gigantic golden palace. “Thought it's nicer.” Said Bruce then, getting the whole team's attention. “I mean...not that it's not nice it's uh...” With a little sigh, Natasha patted his back to tell him to just be quiet. “I can't believe you said this! It looks amazing!” Said Tony and Nat was quite sure that he's gonna try to analyze every little thing about this place. Only to confirm that magic is bullshit.

Once they entered the palace they got to meet Thors parents, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three. Nat and Lady Sif got along pretty well, they even agreed to a little training session later. After all it didn't happen every day that Nat got to fight with another woman, since all the super heroes she knew were her five boys.

They were both very strong, so no one could predict who's gonna win. “I'd like to see that.” Said Clint and leaned an arm on his best friend’s shoulder. “Aye, that's gonna be a glorious battle.”

“Okay, you guys have fun. I wanna check this place out. Anyone in?” Asked Tony everyone around and only Steve raised his hand. “Count me in. I'd like to look around, too.”

“Great. What about you, buddy?”

“I guess I'll watch Nat fight.” Answered Bruce, while Tony sighed. “Of course you wanna stay with your girlfriend.” Bruce blushed at his friend’s words and noticed a certain mischievous grin from the redhead. Before they could part ways, though, Thor offered them to put on some Asgardian clothes, which some of them halfheartedly agreed. They all got Asgardian styled armor and while they looked very uncomfortable, they were actually really nice.

Natasha got an armor that slightly resembled Lady Sif’s and the boys wore all different armors that looked quite unique. “Looking good.” Said Natasha, who's looking closely at Bruces outfit. Said doctor became flustered, but he obviously liked what he saw, too. “Thanks. You look great, too.”

“Man, I can't believe you can fight in this thing...” Grumbled Clint, who obviously didn't feel comfortable in the armor. “No one said you have to wear it, Clint. You just change back into your own clothes, while I have a date with Sif.” With that said, she looped her arm around Bruces and went with him to the training ground where they met Thors friends.

“Oh no, there's no way in hell I'm gonna miss this.” Said the archer and followed them together with Thor. Steve and Tony where left alone and began their tour around Asgard.

All in all, their day on Asgard was amazing. Nats fight with Sif ended in a draw, but they had a lot of fun and learned from each other. It was weird fighting with a sword but after she got used to it, Nat could rival Sif. Of course it didn't end with this, Steve and the warriors three also joined in and even admired her strength as they already did with Sifs. Nat couldn't deny that this was a big ego boost on her part.

Then they all got a big feast as Thor's always promised them. They were having a big party, as if today's a special day for everyone. But Nat didn't really care about it. As long as she had good food, some alcohol and Bruce by her side the day's already perfect for her. Though, Bruce looked like he didn't have as much fun as everyone else. But then again, he didn't like parties...

“Hey, you okay? You're so quiet.” She asked Bruce, who's sitting next to her quietly. “Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm great.” He replied and smiled at her like he always did. But Nat wasn't convinced and raised an eyebrow at him. “I'm fine, Nat.” The scientist wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to kiss her forehead. “This place is just...overwhelming.”

“It sure is.” She agreed, but was convinced that this wasn't the reason for his behavior. But she let it go for now. If there's really something wrong with him, he'll tell her eventually. Natasha's not someone to push anyone she loved.

“Hey, uh...how about we get out of here for a while?”

“Sure.” Bruce didn’t hesitate to take her hand and lead her out of the hall. They interlaced their fingers and just walked around. They didn’t need to say anything as they looked around the palace. All that mattered was that they’re together.

At some point they found a very beautiful garden and went out to it. Asgard was really amazing. It’s nothing Nat has ever seen before. “Nat?” The redhead hummed, her eyes were on the lake before them. “Are you happy? You know, with us?” Nat frowned. Is this why he’s so weird right now? Because he’s worried she’s not happy? “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well...it’s still hard to believe that someone like you would choose me of all people.” The second where the words left his mouth, Nat glared at him annoyed. “I told you to stop talking bullshit. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t choose you. I told you chicks dig the dorky guys.”

Bruce chuckled at that. “You did. I just...wanted to make sure you didn’t regret your choice.”

“There’s nothing to regret. This is the best time of my life.” Before Nat could even finish her sentence, Bruce pulled her into a hug. “I love you, Nat.” He mumbled into her hair, holding her tightly. Smiling, Natasha returned the hug. “I love you, too.”

“You know...I wanna make you happy till the world ends. And always stay with you.”

“I’d like that.”

And then he let her go and went down on one knee. Of course she knew what’s gonna happen, but it didn’t make it less surprising. They just talked about it once, but with no real results. “Natalia Alianovna Romanova...Выйдешь за меня замуж?“ The way he asked her was surprising, too, but it was a very welcoming surprise. Of course his Russian wasn’t the best, but at least he tried it. He presented her the most beautiful ring. Rose-gold, with her Black Widow symbol on it, but filled with emeralds. If her next words wouldn’t be that important, she’d scold him for spending so much money for her. As for her answer, Nat already knew it since he knelled down. “да.“ After putting the ring on her finger, Bruce stood and hugged her again. “You have no idea how happy you made me.”

“Oh, I do know.” Bruce obviously understood her reference and chuckled. “You’re terrible.”

“Yeah, but you love me for that.”

“Touché, doc.” With that she grabbed Bruces collar and pulled him down to finally kiss him. Bruce happily obliged and deepened the kiss.

It was only after they returned to the boys that she knew this whole thing was planned for weeks. The party was to celebrate their engagement, ‘cause everyone knew she’d say yes. The boys congratulated them as soon as they returned. Though Bruce admitted that it wasn’t planned for everyone to go, but the others wanted to see Asgard, too and be the first ones to congratulate them when she said yes.

Yep, Nat loved her boys. And her favorite’s gonna be her husband soon. Hers. Now that she thought about it, it sounded very nice.

#fanfic #fanfiction #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #brutasha #brucenat #bw19 #brutasha week #marvel #avengers #mcu #marvel cinematic universe

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