ally choosing to cut tomas & pib’s conversation off for a humorous bit they’ve been pulling since episode two could be my villain origin story. please let the sweet little cat have a moment. that’s his sweet dumb prince whose cross-dimensional corpse he defended from being scavenged by the fox.

Getting ready for a special event~ 😉🕺

End of Empathy (time for violence)

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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…

Kudo makes funny facial expressions

Disclaimer: this is 3am rambling. Whether or not this rant ends up being a cohesive thought is between me and God. Also, I'll be switching around what pronouns I use for Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan every paragraph

"Shi Qingxuan should've chosen He Xuan! Shi Qingxuan would never chose anyone other than his brother-" man, if choosing He Xuan was one of the options he was given, I honestly do think Shi Qingxuan would've taken it.

Cuz here's the thing: Shi Qingxuan was thoroughly sick of their brothers bs. They wanted to go their own way, they wanted to break out of the house, they wanted to handle their demons on their own, they wanted to choose their own gender expression without getting told to "put that thing away", they disagreed with their brothers actions and what he did to turn them into a god... they wanted to get away from their brother, but they never got the chance to unpack or deal with any of that because both of their lives were constantly being put in danger (so they were kinda distracted).

And I don't even know where to start with how Shi Wudu had been breaking down their self esteem, getting them to second guess all their wants/desires/choices, and pulling the "big brother knows best" card on them for god knows how long. I know it came from a place of love, but it still had to have done something to Shi Qingxuan's brain chemistry

Shi Qingxuan options were never "He Xuan or her Brother," it was "chose to abandon your luck for both your lives, or chose yourself and become a murderer" so ya, of course she's gonna go with the first option because she's not a terrible person. Shi Qingxuan probably would’ve chosen He Xuan (who was her best friend, who'd been going along with her antics for centuries, who remembered which resturant she wanted to go to even after the breakup), but that wasn't a card they put in her hands, and even if it was, its not a real card if she had to kill her brother to get it. At that point, giving up revenge and finding love again wasn't an option He Xuan had even considered yet, and it'd be unreasonable to suggest Shi Qingxuan should've come up with a secret third option off the top of her head given she only knew the full story for like what? A minute before she was forced to make a choice? And even though she tried choosing the option that would hurt the least amount of people, Shi Wudu could not for the life of him respect her choices. Kinda makes me think Shi Qingxuan never really was given any choices to make in the first place 😒

Anyways, I'm choosing to believe at some point, He Xuan realizes this, spends the rest of her life trying to make amends, they get some time being a ghost couple together, and then they eventually find peace and disappear into the afterlife

i’ve just finished season one of TMA, and being someone who’s okay with spoilers is fun because it means i can peruse the wiki and scroll through the tag and i get to become privy to all sorts of weird, wonderful, halfway-out-of-context information that i get to look forward to understanding in the future

like. what do you mean Leitner’s in the tunnels?

what do you mean Jon eats the extinguished sun??

what do you mean it’s spelled Gerard Keay???

Got my first meeting with a psychiatrist in over a year since the last one demanded details about trauma when I was visibly sweating and shaking! Let’s hope today goes much better and that I have the prefrontal cortex online enough to leave if necessary instead of tolerating that kind of thing again

continuing the saga of Changing My Name And Pronouns Has Turned My Life Into A Bad Sitcom i've been easing the new name into my life not by telling people to change what they call me but by introducing myself to new people with that name and just not correcting previous people who still call me by my first name

this includes the fact that i have registered with a university for my second bachelors degree using my new name and still have not told my parents i use a different name so stay tuned to find out whether they hear about it sometime in the next 4 years or if they get a fun surprise at my graduation

okay i just marathoned the entirety of ATLA live action & i might do an actual review of it explaining my thoughts more in depth, but the TLDR version basically boils down to this:

if you want to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender, just go watch the 2005 cartoon

with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!

the scene in yakuza 5 where shinada and milky dance on the roof talking about how they should run away and start over in a new town with new jobs and new lives, only for milky to abruptly stop and let shinada go when she gets called back downstairs to work, while shinada is sent stumbling by suddenly being let go until he too comes to a stop, burns a hole in my brain

The fact that I went into that first conversation with Gortash completely blind and he somehow managed to be the one that almost convinced me to side with him is just wild to me. Gwydion had been incredibly resistant to anyone (even his partner) trying to get him to be just a little power-hungry, but then Gortash came along and started talk about unity and stability instead of "we're gonna be evil and rule the world" and it was working on Gwydion.

My only thought during the coronation scene was "damn, he really does know Gwydion"

hi im going to leave chicago in a few hours. i don’t want to come home

emotional support group for autistics who got called condescending and rude as kids just for responding to things directly and still not knowing how they were being mean