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itsanerdlife · 4 years

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Come Back to Me 15/20

Pairing: Clint Barton x Coulson’s Daughter!Reader

Warning: Angst. Drama. Struggles. Violence? Lying. Anger. Soul shattering ache in your chest. Self hate. Doubts. Plot twist!

Playlist

Everything slips right through his hands in the blink of an eye. Clint Barton can fix anything. World Ending? Save it. Bad Guys? Take ‘em out. The love of his life, his soul mate, forgetting their whole relationship? Fight even harder. She might not remember what they have. She might be confused, lost, scared, but it’ll be a cold day in hell if she thinks he’ll give up that easy. He’ll do anything he has too. Help her remember, or make her fall in love with him, all over again. But what if it’s not him that she’s getting close to this time? What if it’s a losing fight? Is he supposed to watch the woman he loves, fall for someone else? Like hell, is he letting that happen.

Tag List Is Open!!

They’re stumbling over each other getting off the elevator. Both looking around the open area. There’s a small crash from the hallway. He can hear her muttering, he’s through the bedroom door and into the bathroom.

She’s slumped against the vanity of the sink, bottles spread out on the floor with her. Her head in her hands, her body visibly trembles. Dropping to his knees next to her, Peter is already on his phone standing in the bedroom, watching.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. He grabs a bottle off the ground, the rattling makes her hiss in pain.

“Head.” She cries, tears slipping down her cheeks. He looks back at Peter, both wearing the same panicked look.

“Med Bay.” They reply together.

He scoops Y/N up, heading out of the bathroom. She holds her head, struggling, tears wetting his shirt. He never noticed how loud the ding is from the elevator till they arrive on Med Bay and she cringes. Strange steps through a portal as the nurse ushers them into a room.

“What happened?” Strange asks, moving towards the bed she curled up into a ball on.

“We don’t know.” Clint shakes his head. “She said it’s her head.” Peter tugs him back, letting Cho move in. Strange is calling out orders and nurses are running.

“Okay, Y/N. We’re going to give you a shot. It might knock you out, but it will help with the pain.” Strange assures her.

“Do you know what’s causing this?” Clint asks.

“We’ll run some tests. But I can’t be for sure till I know what she’s been up too.” Strange explains.

“We’ve been running noninvasive experiments on her to trigger her memory.” Peter blurts out. Strange stops, Cho follows and they both exchange a look before turning on Peter.

“Mr. Parker, go wait in the waiting room and call your father.” Strange orders.

“But,” Peter starts. Strange suddenly opens a portal pulling it forward he drops Peter into the waiting room, before closing the portal on him.

“I only found out today.” Clint explains when Strange turns on him. He nods before going back to Y/N.

“Barton we’re going to take her to get a scan. I’ll find you in the waiting room, to update you.” Strange glances back at him. He swallows hard but nods, leaving the room. The team is thundering off the elevator like a storm. Peter wiggles in his seat, looking guilty and nervous.

“What happened?” Tony demands.

“Well we don’t really know.” Peter shrugs, refusing to make eye contact.

“They’re taking her for a scan. We’ll be updated soon.” Clint sighs, taking a seat.

“Is she okay?” Bucky sits next to him.

“Don’t know. She was in so much pain, she could only tell us it was her head.” He drags his hand over his mouth.

“Is this because of your experiments Peter?” Nat turns on Parker.

“Um.” He swallows.

“God Damn It Peter.” Tony snaps.

“Do you not see how dangerous this was?!” Steve drops his hands to his hips, looking down at Peter.

“It was noninvasive.” Peter mutters.

“The brain is a very delicate organ Peter. You don’t play with it lightly!” Tony throws his hands up.

“I wasn’t playing with it.” Peter looks to be pouting.

“You don’t experiment with it lightly!” Steve points out.

“She just wants to remember. I was just trying to help.” He sighs, slumping in his chair.

“Of course you were. It’s in your nature to help. But Peter, this is much more than you are capable of handling. What if you didn’t help, what if it made things worse for her?” Nat asks.

“But she is remembering.” Peter tries.

“You also put her in the hospital.” Tony lifts a brow.

“That was not supposed to happen.” Peter admits.

“But it did.” Bucky points out.

“But Bucky, she was remembering.” Peter swallows.

“He has a point.” Clint sighs, hating himself for agreeing with Peter.

“See.” Peter lights up.

“Kid, don’t get excited I still want to throttle you.” Clint warns him. Peter slumps in the chair again, nodding.

“That’s fair.”

“She’s remembering?” Bucky looks over at him.

“Well you saw her. She went on a rampage, Peter barely told her anything. I saw the recordings. Small things are coming back to her.” He explains.

“Barton.” Strange is standing in the opening.

“How is she?” Clint sits up.

“Her scans came back clean. Her pain is mellowed. She’s awake.” He nods.

“Can we see her?” Bucky wonders.

“The two of you, yes.” Strange nods, waving them on. Together they’re up and following the doctor to her room.

She’s sitting up in bed, legs curled under her. She’s poking at the IV in the back of her hand. She looks guilt ridden and ashamed. She’s chewing the inside of her cheek, as they stand at the end of her bed.

“Y/N.” Strange sighs.

“I know.” She spoke softly.

“You scared the hell out of me.” Clint watches her.

“I know.”

“What were you thinking, Doll?” Bucky wonders.

“Of all people don’t you understand Bucky? What it’s like to not understand? To not know what you’ve done. Who you are?” She sighs, looking up at them. “I don’t know myself. I don’t know the man I am living with and in love with. Can you really blame me for doing anything in my power? Steve started a war for you to get you the help you needed to remember again.”

“Y/N.” Clint could feel the smile splitting his mouth.

“Do you remember me?” Bucky looks so hopeful.

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t, oh my god.” She stops staring at them.

“You remember James?” Strange asks.

“I remember Civil War.” She whispers.

“How much?” Clint asks.

“It’s not all there, but I remember the fight.” She nods, running a hand through her hair. “I remember the prison. Steve breaking us out.” Her eyes slip to him and she smiles. “We went to Wakanda.” She nods, pressing her lips together.

“Yeah, yeah we did.” He nods, grinning at her.

“It gets fuzzy after that. But this is good right?” She sits up, looking hopeful and excited. The three of them look to Strange.

“Y/N that was extremely dangerous. Your brain isn’t completely healed. Getting angry and poking at it, isn’t helping it heal. You’re playing a very risky game with your memories.” Strange sighs, shaking his head.

“But it’s working.” She swallows.

“This time. What about next time? What if it’s not a headache? What if next time you black out or have a seizure? What if you lose more instead of gaining more?” Strange’s words tighten Clint’s chest.

“But,” she slumps, looking miserable.

“You just have to wait, Y/N. You need to be patient. You need to stop getting so angry and pushing yourself.”

“You don’t understand.” She grumbles.

“I do. I really do, I promise.” Strange admits. “But your brain won’t heal like this. You need endorphins and calm to help.”

“Endorphins and calm don’t go together.” She points out.

“I didn’t say they did.” Strange chuckles.

“I get it, Y/N I really do.” Bucky sighs. “But you’re too important. If you want, I’ll call T’Challa, see if Shuri can help you in some way. A safe, healthy way. Not this back alley, sneaking around, Doll.”

“Really?” She lifts a brow, looking at Strange.

“Have them call to consult.” Strange nods.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Clint sighs.

“Because I knew you’d make me stop.” She admits.

“Because you know it’s reckless.” He points out.

“Clint Barton, you’re the King of Reckless. Are you really trying to say I can’t be reckless too?” She lifts a brow.

“Wow, she backed you into a corner right there.” Bucky snorts.

“I don’t have brain damage, there’s a difference.” He sighs.

“No scan, no proof.” She shrugs. He rolls his eyes, fucking girl was going to make him crazy. But she remembered Wakanda, and that was a light at the end of the tunnel.

-------------

Everything Peaches 9/3/19 @mo320 @ml7010 @courtmr @avxgers @eliza-kat @irepeldirt @jordan-ia @jcc04220 @dumblani @allyp1023 @joannie95 @rogvewitch @rileyloves5 @sarahp879 @sexyvixen7 @doctoranon @abschaffer2 @tony-stank3 @tomhardy41 @bookluver01 @drayshadow @teller258316 @wandressfox @cutekittybast @xoxabs88xox @amandab-ftw @carostar2020 @thelostallycat @henrietteoaks @nea90sweetie @circusofchaos @bettercallsabs @miraclesoflove @queenkrissy11 @shield-agent78 @elite4cekalyma @sadyoungadult @destiel-artemis @isabelcrichards @iwillbeinmynest @sweet-honey15 @scooby-doodoo @chanelmadrid13 @killerbumblebee @spookygrantaire @geeksareunique @supernatural508 @itzmegaaaaaaan @optimistic-babes @elizabethaellison @rainbowkisses31 @aspiringtranslator @mariekoukie6661 @pure-princess-97 @capsheadquaters @youclickedthislink @futuremrsb-r-main @lovemarvelousfics @notyourtypicalrose @petersunderoos96 @loving-life-my-way @jesseswartzwelder @itsy-bitsy-spidergirl @buckystolemyheart @booktvmoviefangirl @thatpeachybandgirl @supernatural-girl97 @abbypalmer14-blog @thefridgeismybestie @eggingamazinglove @deathofmissjackson @awkwardfangirl2014 @muffininahandbasket @queenoftheunderdark @perpetually-tuned-out @laneygthememequeen @writingaworldofmyown @death-unbecomes-you @shann-the-artist-moon @supernaturallover2002 @daughterofthenight117 @mcuwillbethedeathofme @verymuchclosetedfangirl @profoundllamanickeleggs @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @ocaptain-mycaptainmorgan @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @stupendoussciencenaturepanda @supernatural-strangerthings-1980

Clint ‘Destory Me, I’ll Thank You’ Barton: @ml7010 @tanelle83 @sfreeborn @coley0823 @xxloki81xx @boltsgirl919 @carissime72 @katpatrova17 @honey-bee-holly @marvelfansworld @badassbeckettswan @fallinginlovewithqueue @thecaptainsgingersnap @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123

CBTM: @lakamaa12 @alina-barnes @one-of-castiels @notyourtypicalrose @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @thedoctorlivesthroughbooks @jamesbarnesappreciationclub

#Marvel #Clint Barton x Reader #Avengers #Clint x Reader #Come Back to Me #Marvel Fanfiction #Clint Barton Series #Avengers Fanfiction #Hawkeye Series

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the-sheep · 4 years

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ID GO ABSOLUTELY BONKERS IF U TYPED OUT HIS ENTIRE HISTORY FBFBFBFB i would like 2 see it..........

alright right right

This ended up being A HUGE POST so all info is under the cut.

Unless you’re on mobile, in which case, enjoy scrolling.

It all starts on flight rising. Well, Heart starts on FR. It REALLY starts with my webcomic/animated series.

It wasn’t well drawn or animated at first, but it steadily got better. One of the plot holes, back in 8th grade, was “who created priscilla and Jake?”

It was mostly summed up to “Penny made all the bots its all simple” but i was a middle schooler and i needed a complicated (and edgy) story.

Thing is I had already made Fandragons of a good chunk of my ocs on flight rising.

I bred two dragons to get my main characters, so why not just use them?

Christy Suggested the name Cavet, and I liked it.

Yeah this is my first digital image of him as a human and he DOES NOT LOOK RIGHT

no necklace, no beard, orange eyes…

horrific.

So I made human designs for them both, but Chrysanthemum remains forgotten, not even canon to Mechanical Fury anymore.

Here’s old art of her and Cavet back before she got wiped out from existence.

the art is bad btu the Heart gimmick is there

Here’s him in his second image ever. The one that pretty much defined his design.He also quickly gained a husband

Anyway he quickly morphed into a villain several time more dangerous than the main villain

He’s responsible for the deaths of not ONE, not TWO, but THREE children.

Two his kids, one the younger sister of a character that one of the dead kids liked.

One of his dead kids got his own story, the other was literally a main character.

Chloride, (Charlie) in all his glory, lucky enough to get resurrected as an android but after finding out he’s not who he thinks he is, has to attempt to live a normal Human life… when his two best friends are paranormal investigators, his love interest having lost their arm and their only remaining sister to the main villain.

He originally found out he was an android by finding his own blueprints, hearing his Mom cry about it, and then cutting open his face (for his signature scar) and running off.

Running into Cavet’s husband, Nathair Liu. He stitches him up, know all about robotic n all that but he is.

also a secondary villain….

youtube

I hate the art in this video but its not my worst.

(Video was Vendy’s debut, too. tho Vendy was more Nate(logan/mind/princi/whatever)’s kid than Cavet’s)

Okay i’ve gotten off track.

Yeah at this point I was really loving Cavet, on FR, and wrote an entire long story between him and Skittles based on the events of Mechanical Fury.

This was where I got the idea for reincarnation.

I needed an explanation for why the same character was in two different universes, and it was perfect. In fact, it lead to an amazing way to end it.

But what is in control of all this? What does he see in the in between?

Well, Death was packaged with two other red herrings to keep people from thinking she was more important than them from the start, when in fact, she was. One of the plot points is that Cavet dies. He continues causing havoc, but nobody can figure out why or how. he doesn’t have a body.

Except he does. Death.

She was scary, but that was just her, she was a literal robot grim reaper. Nobody suspected she was spreading a virus to make robots susceptible to Augap’s control everywhere she went. Not even her. Cav liked hanging out in the AI scape, AKA the robot afterlife or virtual heaven.

What a fun way to make a real grim reaper.

I never really kept track of the transition from “cute robot char” to “cute real god char”

and i guess it never happened. Heart still thinks of her as she was, as cute little Litty. Except when she’s not. He gave form to the literal concept of DEATH. And became her friend. She still calls him Papa, sometimes.

In any case, Cavet’s doodles started being more and more revolving around his angst with the reincarnation.

in fact, i had a few character in the same boat as him, as I had made a couple dragons into MF characters as well.

I called them The Artifacts. It didn’t seem rounded out with only four, so I added a 5th. To give me more leeway in case I make a character i like enough to bring with them.

and turns out. I did.

I was sad enough about Cavet losing the love of his life, betraying him, creating a rift between them with his descent into obsession.

So he came with them.

They’re inseparable.

after a few lives of getting revenge on him for killing his sons and some adult humans and a BUNCH of robots, (not even counting his crimes in the vampire life he committed because he thought he lost Liu forever) Soul revealed to him something about Heart’s 6th life, which Mind doesn’t remember.

But he was there.

Long story short, he was Captain Shuggazoom. Yeah 10 lives of stuff he forgot before he started remembering his past lives. Messed Heart up.

ANYWAY BACK TO DEVELOPMENT!

I went around, making original characters to fill in Heart’s lives. I put him in a LOT of stories, but a notable one is My Old Ask Blog, @ask-musical-monsters

In which Heart is our lovable Tweedle, Bean.

He’s the bird. (this is also the blog where Willow was made!) (also a character i referenced when putting antauri on the baldi blog)

I still hadn’t abandoned MF so Bean has a lot of influence from Cavet.

I REALLY liked bean. It occured to me here-ish that Heart isn’t constrained by being my oc. He can be whoever he wants and nobody will care.

So of course I immediately declare him purple guy. No drawings of him, but I know I said he was purple guy at some point. Also at this point in time I started organizing the lives by number order, and making a simple arc for Heart and the others to follow.

1000 lives.

I made a brief description of heart’s 1st life, but made it purposefully very superfluous so i can change it whenever i want. All i know is he had albinism, and a desire to live forever.

That summer I got an amazing idea. I would take advantage of the Baldi’s basics trend with a ASK BLOG.

It was a mathematically calculated success. I did as many things as possible to generate more audience. MAIN thing being posting as often as possible, and being REALLY funny.

But knew I wasn’t going to like adding to the ask blog if i didn’t like the main character

I already knew he was going to be Baldi, but I wasn’t sure exactly how to characterize him either.

Turns out making him heart solved both of those problems. He’s always been Heart.

And Princi has ALWAYS been mind.

Even if they don’t always show their artifacts, they always were the same people as all these other things ive made. They have a DEEP connection to both each other and me.

At some point, I re-re-discovered SRMTHFG. The first few seconds I saw SK I knew he was Heart. It was so perfect it scared me.

HE EVEN DOES THE POSE!!!!! RED EYES!!!! AAAH!!!

I got an idea for a storyline based on formless and regret and monkeys… so.. uh

Anyway that kinda brings us to today, where the events of the blog have happened based on Heart things, and i can play around with Heart as much as I want.

And Willie’s next life? Well, 23 is my favorite number. It’ll be cool, but I’m not sure how. All I know is 23 wears a striped shirt, and is a vamp again.

In summary, Heart is the most important character I’ve ever made, and I will never come close to anybody as wonderful and as complicated as him. He’s the greatest formless, the best villains, the heroes, and one character i want to hold out for finding irl.

I love them even in scribbles i find on bus seats, in fanart of him, love her in songs i hear, in flowers i see in the wild.

Whoever they end up being, it’s safe to say I’ve fallen in love with Heart.

If you want me to describe his in universe story, I’ll need a seperate post.

Other Heart Resources:

The Spreadsheet

The Playlist

#heart id tag #long post #baldis basics #my singing monsters #mechanical fury #fnaf #the mind electric #srmthfg #hfytus #IM SORRY IF THIS ENDS UP IN THE SRMTHFG TAG SHOWOFF

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trulymadlysydney · 6 years

Text

The Boy Next Door- IV

Of all the things she could’ve ordered, it had to be a sex toy. And of all the people who could’ve been her neighbor, it just had to be coffee shop Harry.

*takes a big, long, deep breath* I... am so sorry for how long it took to upload this. I am also very sorry for this entire chapter in general. Truly. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.

(Part One HERE) (Part Two HERE) (Part Three HERE)

Playlist HERE

***PLEASE DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION***

-Not even a sappy post it note left on the pillow saying goodbye? Worst sleepover ever

Nova yawns and smiles sleepily to herself as her fingers type out and send the text message to Harry. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit disappointed to not wake up in his arms, but still. Waking up in his bed was the next best thing.

His room is so cozy, and the curtains he has on his windows are much better than the ones she has on hers. They’re thick, and they keep the room fairly dark, save for the light oozing out from the sides. If it hadn’t have been for her alarm on her phone, Nova reckons she could’ve slept all day. His covers are thick and his sheets are smooth and he has the type of pillows that are squishy in all the right places.

Speaking of pillows, she takes the one that Harry had been sleeping on and hugs it close to her. She closes her eyes and inhales, then lets it all out in a satisfied hum. It smells deliciously like him. (Nova can’t help that she’s a sap when she’s sleepy. And she can’t help that she’s falling ridiculously hard for this boy.)

Her phone buzzes a few seconds later, and she grins when she reads Harry’s response.

-Someone kept me up all night and I almost overslept. I was almost late to my 8am.

-Texting in class?

-...yes?

-Shame on you

-Get up. Get ready for your 9am, and stop judging my life. x

-I don’t know if I can, actually. Your bed is ridiculously comfy

-It is, isn’t it? You’re welcome in it any time you’d like.

-Thank goodness because I don’t think I’m ever going to leave

-That is more than fine by me, gorgeous.

Nova bites at her lip and lets out the girliest giggle when she reads his text. Gorgeous. He called her gorgeous.

-I actually should get up though :((

-Booo. You can skip one day of class, it won’t hurt. -Skip, and be there when I get back.

-Ha, I wish -You’re a terrible influence

-What can I say?

-I’m going to miss your bed when I get out of it

-I’m sure my bed will miss you, too.

-So, a date in your bed again tonight? -Or mine. I’m sure my bed would love to meet you

-Meeting the bed, huh? This is getting serious. -I can’t tonight, unfortunately. Staying over at Jeff’s place.

-Aww man :( That’ll be fun though!

-Will it? He invited me over because he’s been having work issues. Again.

-Poor guy :(

-It’ll be fine. Just needs a guy’s night I think. I would much rather be meeting your bed though.

-Well we could still hang out today! What are you doing after your classes?

-Can’t get enough of me, can you?

Nova rolls her eyes and her cheeks are burning. She rolls out of Harry’s bed and walks back out into his living room, but she hardly even looks up from her phone.

-Fortunately for you, I can’t -But keep being a cocky little shit and we’ll see what happens.

-Cocky? Me? Never. -But I actually have band practice today.

-You’re in a band?!

-Thought I told you that!

-You mentioned you sing, you didn’t mention you had a whole entire band!

-Oh. Well surprise, then! I’m in a band. -And we’re practising at the apartment this evening, which sucks because otherwise you’d absolutely be over at my place. No questions asked.

-And I could finally kick your ass at that game of Parcheesi you mentioned, am I right?

-Can’t believe you remember that. But yeah, sure. Keep telling yourself that you’d be the one doing the ass kicking.

-Cute how you think I wouldn’t...

-Cute how you’re probably still in my bed.

-GOOD TRY but I’m in your living room now

-Going through my things to see if you can dig up any dirt on me?

-You know me so well

Nova takes a moment to actually look up and take in what his apartment looks like, because she hadn’t really paid that much attention the night before. The one critique she has is that it doesn’t smell anywhere near as good as her and Jessie’s place. It doesn’t smell bad, necessarily, but it smells distinctly like “boy,” mixed with a few old candles.

Her eyes fall on a large case over by the window, and she’s immediately intrigued. She walks over and realizes what exactly she’s looking at, and she adores it. Each shelf in the case is crammed with records. There must be at least a hundred in there. Some old classic vinyls, some newer pop albums that she recognizes. All different genres, and all of them look to be in excellent condition.

She immediately shoots Harry another text.

-Impressive record collection!

-So you are going through my things? Sneaky sneaky.

-I’m not going through anything, you pest, I just saw the collection. And I’m serious, it’s impressive

-Thank you! Been working on it for basically my whole life.

-I can tell! What’s your favorite?

-God, what a question. That’s like asking me to pick a favorite child. -Ever heard of The Stone Roses?

-Can’t say I have, no!

-Check them out. Should be on the second shelf down.

Nova follows his instructions and sees the exact album he’s referring to. She pulls the oversized record sleeve from its place and examines it as Harry sends another text.

-They’re actually from my hometown. Formed in Manchester in the 80s I believe. They’re sick. -You can take the record home with you if you want to. Give them a listen.

-I don’t own a record player :(

-What?! -It’s like you live in the year 2018 or something. Crazy.

Nova realizes she hasn’t stopped smiling during this entire conversation when her cheeks start to hurt a bit. Her phone vibrates with another text.

-Look them up on youtube then. I think you’ll like them.

-I definitely will!

Nova returns the record to its home on the shelf before standing up and heading towards the door. She knows she needs to go get ready for class, although she is tempted to crawl back into his bed and go back to sleep. When she spies a some paper in his kitchen on her way out, she giggles to herself as a plan forms. It doesn’t take long for her to find a pen, and with a smile on her face she scribbles “Here’s a sappy post-it note for you, since you didn’t leave one for me. You’re welcome. Xoxo, Novocaine.”

She sticks the note to his pillow (and shamelessly gives the pillow one more sniff) before slipping out of his apartment and heading back to her own.

---

As it turns out, the effect of seeing Harry’s name on her phone never fails to make Nova’s stomach flip. At around 3pm, he texts her again with a simple “is it ridiculous to say that I miss you?”

It is ridiculous, really. Of course it is. But she’s so happy, and she’s so happy to see that he’s feeling the same way.

Her response is immediate and, not surprisingly, sarcastic. Mentioning how it would be more ridiculous if he didn’t miss her, and then following up with a quick “All jokes aside, I suppose I miss you too,” and adding “but not as much as I miss your bed. That was comfy as hell.”

It’s when he tells her that, if his band weren’t coming over in fifteen minutes he’d invite her right back over to his bed, that she gets an idea.

Is it a good idea? Decidedly not. But it’s an appealing one and one that she’s sure he’s going to enjoy just as much as she does.

She double checks the time, and then triple checks it as she heads into her bedroom. She knows Jessie isn’t going to come home until around 6:30 so she’s safe in that aspect. But still, just to be even more safe, she closes and locks her bedroom door behind her. (Call it force of habit, but its truly just a security thing for her at this point.)

Nova reaches under the bed and pulls out the exact thing she’s looking for-- the little white wand that brought her and Harry together in the first place. She beams as she flips the vibrations on and off for a quick second, just to make sure its fully charged and ready to go. It is.

She can’t remove her pants fast enough, and soon she’s climbing onto her bed and relaxing back onto the pillow that’s pushed against the wall she’s almost positive that Harry is on the other side of. She’s already shivering, partly from anticipation and partly from her newfound lack of clothes. With a cheeky grin that she can’t even contain, she shoots him a text.

-Oh yeah? With completely innocent intentions I have no doubt

She chews on her lip as she waits for his response, hoping that she hasn’t taken too much time setting up her plan. She doesn’t want to go through with this if his band is starting to arrive at his place. Having just Harry overhear her the first time was embarrassing enough, but his entire band? She’d never be able to show her face ever again.

Luckily, he does reply quickly.

-Completely innocent.

-Just like you, right?

-I wouldn’t be so quick to point fingers, little miss, lest you forget how we first began talking.

Nova rolls her eyes at how proper that text reads, before reminding him that the first time they actually spoke was at a coffee shop. But she digresses. That has nothing to do with the task at hand. With a flip of her thumb, she hears the vibrations that send her stomach swirling before even touching her.

-Who said I’m pointing fingers, hm? -If I wanted to do anything with my fingers, it wouldn’t be pointing.

She reads and rereads the sentence she just sent, hoping that it comes across the way she wants it to. Just because she’s feeling sexy does not mean that Harry is, and for all she knows he could have interpreted that message in an absolutely different way than she’d intended. She bites her bottom lip, scrambling to think of something to say to possibly change the situation, when his response lights up her screen.

-Interesting. What would you do with them?

Her stomach floods with butterflies at his words, and she becomes aware of the buzzing in her other hand. She quickly lowers the vibrator teasingly down between her legs. The minute it touches her skin, she shudders and involuntarily exhales a soft whisper of “Oh my god.”

With the vibrator rubbing light circles at her clit, she uses her free hand to type out her response.

-I can think of a few things -But then again, those are things that could be much better done by the vibrator -Or, by your fingers preferably.

The vibrator is still only on low, but the tingles it sends up through her spine have her unraveling torturously slow.

No teasing, she reminds herself.

At least... no teasing herself.

She flips up the speed of the vibrations and lets out an exaggerated moan that is, admittedly, much louder than necessary, but loud enough that she knows it’s going to get his attention. Her phone vibrates again.

-Jesus. Somebody’s in a mood isn’t she?

-Not if you don’t want me to be

-No believe me. I want you to be. -I actually haven’t stopped thinking about last night. I mean that in the least perverted way possible, because I don’t want you to think that I’m only into you because of that. -But god, love. I’ve never seen anything as sexy as you cumming from just my fingers. -Is that too much to say?

Nova is too preoccupied to respond right away, but his words make her throb the moment she reads them on the screen. She allows her mouth to fall open and her head to loll back against the wall. She mutters a soft “fuck” before remembering her objective here and saying it louder.

Almost immediately the gray dots appear on the screen once again.

-...Nova, was that you?

She pulls the vibrator away from her clit momentarily, just to force herself to focus and respond to him.

-Was what me?

-That noise. -Are you doing what I think you’re doing?

Nova lets out another exaggerated moan that, in honesty, isn’t all that exaggerated because the combination of his words and the vibrations between her legs really is making her feel this good.

-Jesus, Nova are you trying to kill me?

She goes full force now, not responding to his texts but still reading them when they pop up at the top of her screen. Fully immersed in the experience, her thoughts go in a billion different directions. She lets out another loud cry when she thinks about the way his fingers had curled inside of her last night. The way he’d spoken to her as he was making her cum. The way he’d looked at her.

When her phone vibrates again, she realizes that she’s closing her eyes. She opens them to read the text that’s appeared at the top of her screen, which is soon followed by another text. And then another.

Oh yes, he knows exactly what she’s doing.

-God you really are a brat. -Fine then. Let’s see how long it takes you when you’re on your own. -Because you and I both know that if it were me doing that to you, you’d be cumming in seconds. -Last night was just a preview of what I can do to you, sweet girl. And if I were there right now, I wouldn’t stop at just one. I’d keep going and going until you’d beg me to stop. -And I wouldn’t limit myself to my fingers either. I’ve been dying to know what you taste like. -Love hearing you like this, but if you think you aren’t in trouble for being a fucking tease then you’re wrong. -You’re already close just from my words aren’t you? -Aren’t you, Nova? Answer me.

Nova can’t even bring herself to text back. Its all too deliciously overwhelming. She knew that Harry was good at dirty talk, but its almost even more intoxicating reading his words instead of hearing them, because she knows that eventually he’s going to follow through.

The most she can manage is a loud moan of his name followed by a long cry of “yes, fuck fuck fuck!” Harry responds shortly after.

-Good girl. -God, listen to you. Do you know how fucking hard you’re getting me right now? -You’re in for it the next time I get you alone, I swear to god Nova. -If my fucking band weren’t coming over at any second I’d come over there and finish you off myself. -Holy fuck, Nova, those noises... -Do me a favor, darling? -Scream my name when you cum. Please. Need to hear that again.

She almost contemplates going against his wishes, just because the thought of being punished by him is even sexier than the thought of being rewarded by him. But then she feels that familiar twinge in her stomach, and suddenly things are spiraling out of her control before she even has time to process them. Next thing she knows, she’s practically crying as the high overcomes her.

The fact that she doesn’t have to limit her volume makes the experience all the more enjoyable. She’s shouting and whining and gasping, and babbling some type of word that doesn’t quite sound like his name-- but its all she can manage at the moment.

She’s imagining his reaction. In a perfect world, she’s imagining him hard, touching himself on the other side of the thin wall. In reality though, she knows he’s probably only halfway chubbed up-- not enough to become desperate, but enough that its an uncomfortable and inconvenient little reminder of her.

She’s got him exactly where she wants him, and the feeling is euphoric.

Nova pulls the vibrator away when the feeling becomes too much, but she’s practically in shock. Her ears are ringing, her eyes are wide, and she has to blink a few times to get her eyes to focus again. It isn’t until her phone vibrates with another text from Harry that she only somewhat comes back to earth.

-Fuck Nova you’ve got me so hard right now. -That was your plan all along, wasn’t it you little brat?

Nova swallows, weakly pushing herself to sit up a bit. She notices the sheets are a bit damp beneath her. Had she been sweating that hard?

-Did it work?

-I swear to God... -Come over. -I’ll be quick.

It makes Nova giddy thinking about running next door for a quickie with Harry and knowing that his friends could pop in at any moment. She’s absolutely in for a punishment after what she’s done, and the thought makes her heart pound and her head swim.

-Don’t want you to be quick

-I’ll cancel on my band. Right now. -Need you so fucking bad.

Nova knows she shouldn’t be a tease any longer. She knows full well that what she’s doing is bratty, but she’s got to get her kicks while she can and frankly, she wants him to be as mean (in the loveliest way) as possible when he does finally get his hands on her.

-You can’t cancel on your band, Harry -You don’t need me that badly -Do you?

-I do. -Not sure you deserve it after that little show you put on, but that is neither here nor there. -I. Need. You. Now.

Nova bites her bottom lip, smirking at her phone and the desperation that is seeping off of his texts. She’s about to just say fuck it, invite him over without giving his band a second thought, when he texts her again.

-Fucking hell. They’re here.

-Oh noooo. You poor thing :(

She knows she should relax but right now she’s having too much fun tormenting him. She rolls off of her bed, shimmies into a clean pair of panties, and hurries into her living room just in time to hear voices coming from the hallway on the other side of her front door.

“Shit, H! You took your sweet time coming to the door, didn’t you lad?” It’s a male voice and it makes Nova snicker, especially when she hears a faint “fuck off” coming from Harry. She listens through all of their muffled greetings until she hears Harry close his door and their voices fade away.

Satisfied with her work, Nova decides to set her phone down and hop in the shower. It’s still early and a lovely day outside. She has the fleeting thought that maybe she can convince Jessie to head out for sushi tonight, and her stomach grumbles in response. So with one more smug little giggle she tosses her phone onto her bed and heads to the bathroom.

When she returns however, she is met with a text from Harry that sends her heart into a frenzy all over again.

-You have no idea what you’re in for little girl.

------

It’s Friday when Nova finally gets to see Harry again.

Neither one of them has brought up up her little production since Monday, and Nova isn’t sure whether or not that’s a good thing.

All of that aside, however, she does enjoy the fact that she and Harry speak constantly. They’d exchanged several texts and even a few phone calls throughout the week-- and it was during a phone call on Wednesday that he’d invited her here tonight.

“Bit silly that we talk on the phone so much when you live next door to me,” he’d said. “I could get up right now and be in your bed in under ten seconds.”

To which Nova had giggled and replied, “Well for one thing you know I’m not home right now.”

“Didn’t say I needed you in your bed with me.”

Nova rolled her eyes, but he’d only continued. “But anyway, that’s also silly that you aren’t home right now. You could easily be studying in my bed with me instead of at that damned coffee shop.”

Nova’s stomach had twisted at that because, god, was it tempting. But no. She picked at her nails casually as she spoke. “Then we wouldn’t be doing much studying would we?”

“Depends how you look at it.” Before even knowing what Harry was going to follow that statement up with, Nova had known it was going to be cheeky. “Technically we’d be studying biology.”

“Harry.”

“Or anatomy, even.”

“Harry!”

They’d continued on like that for a bit until Nova felt her skin was practically on fire, and then just as swiftly as he’d turned her on, he’d changed the subject. Telling her about this gig that his band was playing Friday night at a local bar, which he referred to as “vibey.” Nova had rolled her eyes at his choice in adjectives, but he’d only continued. “Absolutely sick. I think you’ll dig it.”

Which is how she’s ended up here, bopping along to his band’s fourth song of the night and giggling like a little girl whenever Harry looks over at her and winks.

The entire band is beyond brilliant. Not that she expected anything less. She’d briefly met the other members before they’d gone up on the stage, and they all seemed to be incredible people who were passionate about what they did. Watching them up there now, she’s absolutely mesmerized.

It is hard, however, to focus her eyes on anything but Harry. Especially when he looks as delicious as he does tonight. The combination of the suit he’d opted to wear plus his slightly messy hair and thick hands on his guitar is absolutely deadly to Nova. And despite the fact that she’s there to listen to the band and their music, she can’t stop her mind from thinking about how fantastic it’s going to be when she gets him alone tonight.

Nova is torn out of her thoughts when she feels someone nudge her. She turns to see a guy, probably a little bit older than her, holding a beer and smiling at her. He nods his head up at the stage. “Ever heard them play before?”

Nova shakes her head. “No! This is the first time.”

They both have to speak loudly to be heard over the music. The guy nods his head. “Ah. I saw them a few weekends ago up at some other bar. They’re sick!”

The pride emanating from Nova’s chest causes her to smile, and she allows herself to glance back up at Harry one more time before nodding. “I agree. I’m kinda... seeing that guy up there.” She doesn’t know how else to word it, because “dating” seems to be too formal for what she and Harry currently are. She wants to further explain, but her new friend thinks nothing of it.

“What? The lead singer?” When Nova nods, his jaw drops. “No way! That’s awesome. Met him the other weekend. He bought me a couple drinks. He’s a good guy. You know he’s from England?”

Nova giggles. “I did know that, yeah.”

The song comes to an end and the crowd goes wild. Nova beams up at Harry, cupping her hands around her mouth and letting out a loud cheer. He smirks but he doesn’t look back at her, busying himself instead with switching guitars. As soon as the strap of the new guitar is over his shoulder and adjusted, he leans into the microphone. “Alright. We’ve got some adjusting to do up here... because this next song we’re going to be covering is a bit different.”

The guy beside Nova holds out his hand. “I’m Jason by the way.”

Nova shakes his hand, still speaking a bit loud to be heard over the feedback from the amps onstage and the crowd around them. “Nova!”

His jaw drops again and it makes Nova snort. This guy is so easily amused by everything she says. “What a cool name!”

“Thanks!”

“You ever been here before?”

Nova shakes her head. “Nah. This is the first time. I only came because of Harry.”

“I feel that.” He nods his head seriously. “Can I tell you a secret? I come for the keyboard player.”

“Really? Do you know her?”

It’s Jason’s turn to shake his head. “I wish. I’m hoping maybe your boy can introduce us though.”

Nova giggles. “I mean, I only just met her today. Her name is Clare. She’s a really cute person from what I can tell.”

“Obviously. She’s fucking adorable. Talented as hell, too. Ask your boy if he can hook us up, yeah?”

Nova giggles. “Alright.”

The band fumbles around the stage, switching out instruments and mics, and someone is bringing a stool on the stage.

“You need another one of those?”

“What?” Nova’s a bit distracted by the way Harry looks as he communicates softly with his fellow band members. He’s beautiful without even trying, and Nova can’t believe how much she’s falling for this guy.

Jason nods at the empty drink in Nova’s hand. “You need a refill, girl.”

“Oh.” On any other occasion, Nova would have probably said no. But she’s in a very good mood right now and, honestly, another one would probably only add to it. “Yeah, I do actually.”

“You want me to go grab you one?”

“No no that’s okay. I can get it.”

“You sure?” Jason holds up his own empty drink. “Headed over there anyway.”

Nova glances back at Harry, who’s got a guitar pic between his teeth and is skillfully tuning the guitar in his hands. God, he’s perfect.

“Yeah I’ll just go over with you, actually.”

“Oh! Alright.”

Nova and Jason squirm and bump their way through the crowd of people and over to the bar, talking the whole time. Nova learns that he’s lived in California his whole life, but only moved to Los Angeles for film school about a year ago. He’s 27, but the reason he’d waited so long to come here was because he’d had a long term girlfriend who he’d thought he was going to marry back at home.

As they’re ordering their drinks, Nova can hear Harry saying something into the microphone. She believes its a back story for the song they’re about to do, but its hard to understand him what with the story she’s currently telling Jason. She makes a mental note to ask Harry what he was saying later.

It isn’t long before the song is starting. It’s slower than the other songs they’d played, and Nova can instantly tell that the vibes of this song are different. Jason pays for both of their drinks (despite Nova’s protests) and the two bump their way back through the crowd just as Harry starts to sing.

The crowd has gotten thicker since they’d left, and when Jason holds his hand out for Nova to take so they can stay together, she instinctively takes it. He looks over his shoulder and says, “Gotta get you back up to your man,” which makes Nova laugh.

When Harry’s voice goes into falsetto, chills rise all along Nova’s body. The lighting is dim, save for one bright light on him. He looks different, too. More serious. Less happy, but not necessarily sad or upset. Every now and then, the girls in the band will join in with a harmony, but otherwise its just Harry.

Although Nova is focused more on getting back to her original spot and apologizing to the people she bumps into, she feels like she’s practically in a daze listening to Harry sing whatever song this is.

Jason leads Nova as close to their original spot after much struggle, and when he finally stops walking he grumbles, “Jesus.” But then he’s right back to being the happy, friendly guy Nova just met. “Anyway!”

Instead of letting go of her hand, he raises it, signaling for her to twirl under it. Nova smiles, moving slowly. Maybe its the slow, dreamy song. Maybe its the boy singing it, or the way her skirt swishes as she twirls. Whatever it is, she’s in a trance. She’s happier than she’s been in a long time, and this is all thanks to Harry.

Jason smiles at her and sways a bit himself before dropping her hand. “Your boy is really good, Nova.”

Nova smiles up at Harry. “I know he is.”

Oddly enough, Harry doesn’t look at her much during this song like he’s been doing throughout every other song. It’s strange, but Nova just assumes its because this is a slower song. It sounds sad, and Harry keeps repeating the words “Wishing you were mine” over and over. Maybe it is a sad song, and Nova had missed the explanation earlier. Maybe its a breakup song that Harry had absolutely fallen in love with during a tough time. He does have such an amazing music taste, after all, so it wouldn’t surprise her.

The song ends shortly after, and everyone including Nova once again goes wild. The band all smiles down at the crowd reactions, but for some reason, Harry doesn’t.

Harry isn’t even really looking at the crowd, actually. He’s looking straight ahead, and his jaw is set. He’s got the same look on his face that he did earlier-- not sad, but definitely not too pleased-- and it leads Nova to conclude that that really is an emotional song for him. She cups her hands around her mouth once more and calls out to him, cheering and clapping with the audience and fully prepared to greet him with an encouraging smile to bring him back to earth.

But he doesn’t even budge.

When the crowd relaxes, he seems to come back a bit. He clears his throat and leans in to the microphone. “Thank you. Eh.. we’ve got one more song for you guys, and I’m sure you’ll all know it. So... if you like it, feel free to sing along.”

There’s hardly any hesitation before he nods at the band and counts down the beginning of the song. As soon as he plays the opening chords, his head lowers. He doesn’t lift it again.

Nova furrows her eyebrows and turns to Jason. “Is he being like, totally weird now, or is it just me?”

“What??” Jason seems to know the song they’re playing, and he’s bopping and swaying around like a madman.

Nova smiles in spite of herself. “Nothing. Nevermind.”

“Why aren’t you dancing?!”

She shakes her head and laughs when Jason takes her hand and twirls her once more. He chants “Dance!” at her until she’s finally making a bit of an effort to move without his help.

And soon all is forgotten. Soon she’s laughing and dancing, assuring herself that its all in her head and reminding herself that she gets that beautiful, talented guy and all of his post-show adrenaline to herself after this show.

She is going to absolutely ravage him.

During a long guitar break, the band says their final thank you’s and goodbye’s, and before Nova knows it the song is over. The crowd is going even more wild than before, and rightfully so. But now, Nova is getting pushed and shoved to the side as everyone tries to rush in separate directions. Some run towards the stage to try and talk to the band. Some are making a desperate attempt to leave the dance floor and head over to the bar before everyone else has the same idea. And then there’s Nova, caught in the chaos while unsuccessfully trying to keep her eye on Harry so she can find him after all of this.

By the time things finally do calm down even the slightest bit, the band is off the stage and has most likely blended into this crowd. Nova frowns as her eyes scan the room and she comes to the realization that Harry didn’t come find her.

She hardly registers it when Jason asks her if she wants another drink. “What? Oh, no. I uh... I have to go find Harry.”

“Ooh yes. Go get your man.” Jason wiggles his eyebrows. “But don’t forget what we talked about, alright? I’ll be hanging out here all night. I want to meet Clare.”

Nova half-heartedly laughs, too consumed by her own concerns at the moment.

Why didn’t Harry come find her?

“Alrighty, will do. It was nice meeting you, Jason!”

Jason gives her a sweaty hug and, annoyingly, reminds her one more time about how badly he wants to meet Clare. Of course.

Nova pushes her way through the crowd and her panic levels begin to rise. She knows Harry wouldn’t leave without her, but still. Being at a bar alone, knowing nobody around her-- its a terrifying thought.

Relief washes over her when, finally a few minutes later she spies him, leaning on the bar. He’s surrounded by a group of people; mostly the people from the band from what she can see. They’re all talking and laughing with drinks in hand, but Harry isn’t joining in the jokes. Harry’s barely even smiling as he sips something brown from a clear glass.

“There you are!” Nova pushes her way through the crowd. The minute Harry sees her, whatever trace of a smile he’d had disappears. When Nova wraps her arms around his middle and gives him an affectionate squeeze, he only drapes his arm loosely around her. Uh oh.

“I didn’t know where you went!” Nova says, unaffected by his lack of enthusiasm.

“Was right here,” he mutters. He looks like he’s about to say something else, but instead he raises his glass to his lips and takes a long sip.

Nova blinks, but she shakes it off. “Harry, you were so good! The whole band was outstanding. I love your music!! I don’t know why you didn’t show me sooner, seriously. Because wow.”

Harry shrugs. “Sorry.”

He takes another sip, and now Nova is starting to get uncomfortable. She opens her mouth to ask him what’s going on, but she’s cut off when the band’s bassist makes his way over. “Heyyy, there she is! How’d you like the set?”

This guy, Adam if Nova remembers correctly, is a total sweetheart. His smile is blinding and he seems to really love this band and what he does, because he’s never not smiling. Nova beams right back at him. “It was incredible! Seriously, you guys are so sick. And you’re insanely talented!”

Adam smiles so wide it looks like his eyes are barely even open. Its adorable. “Thanks! Felt really good tonight. Loved the crowd!”

“So did Nova,” Harry mutters, and both Adam and Nova fall silent for a moment.

Nova blinks, taking in what he’s just said. “I... what?”

Harry shakes his head and shifts his weight so he’s standing upright. “Nothing. ‘Scuse me.” He puts his hand on the drummer’s back to gently let her know that he’s trying to get through, and then he’s maneuvering his way through the room.

Nova gapes dumbly after him. She doesn’t even know what to say, and apparently neither does Adam, because they both just stare at the crowd that Harry has disappeared into. This isn’t the Harry that Nova knows. Not by a long shot. But what on earth had made him so moody all of a sudden?

Adam chuckles, raising a nervous hand to run through his hair. “Sorry about him.”

It’s then Nova realizes her mouth is still open, and she turns her attention to Adam. “I don’t understand what just happened.”

Adam shrugs. “He gets... weird sometimes. Gets in these shitty moods. He can be a real asshole when he wants to be.”

“But what did I do?” Nova’s frowning, and she realizes that she has a slight whine in her voice when she asks.

“Nothing that I know of. You came to his show to support him, and now he’s being a prick to you.”

Nova holds her breath as she considers her words, but she blows it all out when her mind comes up short.

Adam leans against the bar. “Hey,” he says with a smile. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much if I were you, alright? It’ll pass and he’ll be right back to being the Harry that we all know and love.”

Nova frowns. “He doesn’t get a free pass to be a douchebag without explaining himself.”

This makes Adam chuckle into his drink. “You’re right, he doesn’t. But I don’t want this to ruin your night. Have a drink. Let him sulk. He’ll come around. Here, what do you want? A beer?”

Nova smiles at him. He’s being such an angel to her and she’s only just met him tonight. She shakes her head. “Nothing for right now. I’m gonna go find him.”

“You sure?” His words are laced with genuine concern, and Nova nods.

“Yeah. It’ll be fine.”

Adam takes a deep breath and nods. “Alright then. Good luck.”

Nova chews the inside of her cheek nervously as she makes her way through the bar. It’s sweaty and crowded and dark, and the drunk people are just as annoying as ever. Her eyes scan the crowd as she walks, covering nearly every square inch of the bar, and she frowns when she doesn’t see him anywhere. He wouldn’t have left without saying anything.

Would he?

She sees a group of girls heading towards a back door with lighters in hand. One girl is holding a pack of cigarettes, and it’s then that Nova realizes there’s a back porch here. She turns on her heels and hightails it to go catch up with the girls and follow them.

Its another warm night, which Nova loves, There are a few people out here, and almost all of them are smoking. She lets out a cough when a particularly thick cloud of smoke floats towards her. She uses her hand to clear the air a bit, and then she sees him.

He’s leaned over the back railing. His drink is still in his hand, but now his phone is in his other hand, and he’s scrolling mindlessly through some social media feed. Nova is suddenly overcome with nerves, because although confrontation has never really been much of an issue for her, this is Harry she’s confronting, and somehow it doesn’t feel right.

She takes a deep breath and walks over to him. He doesn’t look up, but he does audibly sigh when he sees her in his peripheral vision. Nova frowns. She’s about to open her mouth to say something, but Harry beats her to it.

“What are you doin’ out here?” He asks.

“Um, I could ask you the same question,” Nova blurts. She feels awkward and exposed for some reason, and she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. This is weird. This is not right.

“Didn’t want to distract,” Harry states matter-of-factly. He hits the power button on his phone before shoving it in his pocket and finally turning to face her.

“Distract? From what exactly? The whole reason I came here was to see you.”

“Did you?” Despite his mood, he’s still got the hint of a smirk on his face. It’s different now though. This one doesn’t turn Nova on. This one makes Nova feel small, and not in a good way.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your friend. He couldn’t have stood any closer to you if he’d tried, you know that?”

Nova wracks her brain to try and remember what “friend” Harry is referring to, until it clicks. “Jason?”

Harry scoffs. “Oh, s’that his name? Jason. What a guy. Good dancer, too.”

“Are you kidding me? That’s really what this is about right now?”

“Guess it is.”

Nova shakes her head in disbelief. What happened to him? The sweet, romantic guy who was a little shit in the best way possible? “Harry--”

“I know you’re a friendly girl, Nova. I get it. People can’t get enough of you. But when I invited you tonight, it wasn’t just a ‘lets go out and get drunk and meet new people’ thing. It wasn’t just a ‘friend’ thing, Nova. It’s never been just a ‘friend’ thing.”

Nova takes a step towards him. “Of course it’s not a ‘friend’ thing. What are you even saying right now? I came here because of you! To see you! I didn’t ask the guy to dance with me--”

“But you danced with him didn’t you?”

“Yeah, actually! I’m so sorry I had a basic interaction with another human being before checking with you first! Won’t happen again, sir!”

Harry rolls his eyes. “For fucks sake, Nova.”

“No, really! By all means!! Tell me what else I’ve done wrong! I complimented some girl’s shoes in the bathroom, is that okay with you?”

“Nova--”

“Also, I hope it didn’t offend you just now when I told Adam he was insanely talented! I totally should have checked with you first!”

Now that Harry’s actually making eye contact with her, Nova wishes he wasn’t. He looks angry and hurt. It’s a look she’s never seen on his face, and a look she never wants to see again. “You know damn well that isn’t what I mean.”

Still, Nova stands her ground. “Is it not? Cause I’m kind of getting the feeling that it is.”

“Did you tell him why you were here?” His question is very to the point, and now Nova’s ears are ringing.

“Of course I--”

Harry cuts her off. “Or did it not come up? I mean, no reason for it to come up, right? Doesn’t mean anything.”

“Harry that’s not--”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re just neighbors. ‘Neighbors with benefits’ if you will. Right?”

Now Nova’s getting upset. “You know for a fact that that’s wrong...”

“Do I?” Harry’s posture is tense. Where he seems to be looming, Nova seems to be shrinking. She doesn’t like it.

“It was just dancing!” Nova’s voice raises a bit. Not enough to cause a scene quite yet, but enough. “Holy shit, Harry, you don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do. Are you kidding me? You don’t get to be jealous like this.”

“And you don’t get to tell me what I get to be, Nova!” Harry shakes his head. They stand there in their horrible, angry tension, and then Harry lets out a breath. “Christ.” He raises his glass to his lips and takes another sip.

“I can’t believe you,” Nova spits. “I came here to support you and you’re getting jealous over nothing. Something so fucking insignificant--” Harry snorts at her words, “--and for what? You haven’t asked me to be your girlfriend. You haven’t even asked me on a date.”

“Did you even listen to a word I sang tonight?”

“Of course I did!”

“And did you hear what I said before the song you danced to? Hm? Were you listenin’ to that?”

“Harry, I was.”

“What did I say then?”

Nova’s jaw drops. “Am I being fucking quizzed right now? Are you accusing me of lying? Are you gonna fucking punish me if I get this wrong?”

“Did you hear what I said about you before that song? Hm?”

And now Nova’s mouth closes.

Harry continues. “No. You didn’t. And you know why you didn’t? You were getting a drink with Jason when I said it.”

Suddenly, the night feels a bit colder. Nova has nothing to say.

Harry sighs and runs a hand through his hair. His voice softens. “Fuck. I’m not saying that in order to be with me you can never talk to guys again. I would never in a million years fucking say that to you. Christ, have you seen yourself? The day you stop getting attention is the day that hell freezes over.”

“Stop.” Nova’s voice is so quiet it’s hardly above a whisper.

“But what I am saying...” Harry lets out a long breath and takes another sip. “I don’t know. I’m saying I really fucking like you. You’re always going to have male friends. And you’re always going to be beautiful. I hate to sound like a whiny little pissbaby, because I know... ha. I know that’s what I fucking sound like. But Nova, I said... a lot tonight. And you didn’t hear a word of it.”

Nova feels that familiar lump in her throat and begs herself not to cry. “What did you say?”

Harry laughs and shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. None of this fucking matters.”

“Harry, it does matter. Will you please just--”

“No,” Harry cuts her off. “No I won’t ‘please just’ do anything. I’m going to go home. And I’m going to get in bed, and probably fucking hate myself for a long time.”

“But I don’t want you to--”

“But I’m going to, aren’t I? I’m going to, because I fucked this whole thing up. I invited you here. I tried to confess my feelings in a very... stupid, fucking idiotic way. And you weren’t even paying attention. So now I feel like a fucking idiot, and I feel even more of an idiot for having this conversation in the first place.”

“Harry.” That’s all Nova can even think to say.

“No, you know what? You’re right. I don’t get to be jealous like this. I have no claim on you. Whatsoever. And I don’t know why I thought I did.”

Nova feels the first tear prickle at her eye, and she refuses to look up. “You do.”

“I don’t. I really, really don’t. And I’m sorry that I tried to force that into being a thing.” Harry finishes off the rest of his drink and sets the glass down on the railing. “And,” he adds, “I’m sorry for this conversation.”

When Nova looks at him, she can’t stop herself from letting a tear fall down her cheek. But she has nothing to say.

They they both stand there looking at one another. Both of them wondering what the hell just happened between them. Both of them wondering where they stand now.

Harry still looks mad, but his voice softens to an almost unrecognizable amount. “You have a safe way home?”

“I can take an uber.”

He nods his head as if thinking about something. “Alright.”

He turns to go, but Nova reaches out to grab his arm. “Can I leave with you?”

“Nova--”

“Please? I want to go home.”

Harry’s eyes dart down to Nova’s hand on his arm, and even he looks like he could cry. Eventually, he sighs. “Fine. Let’s go.”

The shared uber ride back to the apartment complex is completely awkward, with the radio playing and the uber driving chatting cluelessly about a ride he’d had earlier. Harry and Nova add their polite comments every now and then, but it feels so stiff. So forced. They’re sitting on opposite ends of the backseat, and Nova feels that if she were any closer to the car door she’d be outside of the car.

Where Nova wants to be is on Harry’s lap. She wants to taste whatever it was that he was drinking on his lips while they share giggly, post show adrenaline kisses. She wants to be showering him in praises, hinting at what she’s going to do to him when they get home. Would they have stayed at her place or his? He hasn’t been to hers yet, and Jessie is gone for the night. They’d probably stay at hers.

But life is not a fanfiction, and Nova has to remind herself of that. Things don’t work that way.

Neither says a word once they get out of the uber either. The elevator ride up to their apartment is silent. There are a few sniffles from Nova, who’s trying her best not to cry. And Harry clears his throat every few moments. But he won’t even look at her at this point, and Nova doesn’t know if thats a good or bad thing.

Its when they reach the space between their doors that Harry finally breaks the silence. “Have a good night,” he says. He doesn’t stop to hug her. He just inserts his key into the door.

“Harry I’m sorry.” It comes out fast and desperate, but somehow the words still don’t convey everything that Nova is feeling. Right now, she’s hurt. She’s hurt, and she’s guilty, and she wants to sit and talk this through with him.

He doesn’t look at her, but he does halt his movements for a brief moment. “Me too.”

Nova allows her eyes to drop, because she isn’t about to stand there and stare at him until he disappears into his apartment. Of course, the moment she looks down, her eyes come across something on the floor in front of her door.

It’s small and square shaped, and it has a little red bow on it, as well as a note that reads: “To Novocaine” in big letters. After a split second of intrigue and endearment, her heart drops even lower than it was before.

“What’s this?” She asks.

She is answered only by the sound of Harry’s front door closing.

Nova closes her eyes and allows the thickness of the situation to sink in for a moment before letting out all her air and leaning down to pick up the item.

She instantly recognizes it as a CD case, and when she picks up the note she notices a smaller message written below her name.

“I promised you I’d introduce you to new music. These are just a few (100 to be exact) of my favorites that remind me of you. I know mix tapes are old fashioned and all the kids are using iTunes these days or whatever, but I knew you’d appreciate this. Thank you for being wonderful always. H x. (PS. Listen to track 36. If tonight went the way I hope it did, you’re going to love it)”

A hot tear rolls quickly down Nova’s cheek and hits the case in her hand. It lands right on the plastic CD cover, which is a poorly drawn illustration of the night sky that Nova knows immediately Harry’s done by hand. And, in font that Harry probably traced, is the word “Supernova” in purple ink. Fuck.

She reaches up to wipe at her eyes before disappearing into her apartment. She doesn’t even bother taking off her makeup before she gets undressed and climbs into her bed, and five minutes later, she’s sitting under the covers with her laptop resting on her thighs. She pushes the CD into the disc reader and waits.

A new tab opens with a list of every song burned onto the CD (and Harry was right, there are exactly one hundred), and seconds later, the cheerful intro to the very first song plays.

Fake young when we met, everything seemed alright...

Nova smiles in spite of herself. She’s barely heard three seconds of only one song out of one hundred, but its such a sweet gesture and so ridiculously “Harry” that it makes her happy.

She glances back down at the hand-drawn CD cover and the note that Harry wrote, and her heart sinks just a little bit more as she’s reminded of her current situation. Things aren’t as happy as this song would lead her to believe.

And Harry wants her to listen to track thirty six.

She scrolls through the song titles until she reaches thirty six, and her throat feels dry when she reads the title. “Mine- Dayo Bello (Cover by Harry Styles).” It takes her fifteen seconds of reading the title before she finally plays it.

She doesn’t know when he recorded this, or how he’d kept it a secret from her. But her eyes blur with tears as she listens. She can hear him shuffling in his seat, she can hear his guitar strings squeaking under his fingers, she can hear him clearing his throat softly just before singing.

Nova recognizes the song as one that Harry played tonight. More specifically, it’s the one that she had danced and swayed with Jason to. She hadn’t listened to the words very carefully and realizes quickly that her assumptions about this song were not correct. They’d been entirely off, in fact.

She hadn’t realized that Harry had chosen that song specifically for her, because it was how he felt.

His cover is beautiful. It’s raw, and it makes Nova’s chest feel as though it’s being sat on by an elephant. His falsetto causes chills all along her skin, just as it had earlier. Even though she knows she’d heard him sing it a few hours before, this cover is different than it had been. This cover feels more intimate because it’s just him. There’s no band behind him doing backup vocals. No other instruments. It’s him, his guitar, and his feelings being poured out to her through the speakers of her laptop.

Nova lets out a shaky breath, trying and failing to get her breathing under control before eventually giving up. She reaches up and rubs her face with her hands, over and over and over.

“And you don’t even know, you’re like my wildest dream Held captive in stone, held captive in stone, Wishing you were mine Wishing you were mine...”

Nova swallows the lump in her throat before reaching over to pick up her phone. She types and retypes apologies. She dials his number, but hangs up before hitting the call button. She moves her laptop to the side, multiple times, and attempts to get up out of bed so she can go apologize in person. She goes through the motions over and over, wash, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat until she finally gives up and lets out a long sob.

Could he hear that? Does she care? She feels restless, exhausted, helpless, and she can’t even begin to think of a way to fix this right now. And all the while, Harry’s voice croons through her laptop, holding her frozen in place.

Wishing you were mine... Wishing you were mine...

Nova finally surrenders, allowing herself to just sit there and listen. Listen to his voice, listen to the words and the emotions behind them. This version is much, much longer than the one he’d played live tonight, and Nova doesn’t know if she’d rather the song never end or stop completely, mid chorus.

When it does finally end, fading into the next song, Nova just closes her laptop. The room falls silent, and her throat feels thick. She hadn’t realized that she was sitting straight up, and she relaxes back into her pillows with a defeated sigh. She has to say something. Do something. Anything.

She picks up her phone without allowing herself a second though, mindlessly types out a text message, and hits “send.” Her heart is racing, pounding in her ears, and another tear rolls down her cheek.

-I am so, incredibly sorry Harry.

Read at 11:36pm.

#Harry Styles fanfiction #Harry fanfiction #fanfiction

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donvex · 6 years

Text

A PLAYLIST OF RICHIE TOZIER APPEARANCES

Fandom: IT (2017)

Pairing: Reddie ( Richie Tozier / Eddie Kaspbrak )

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary:

Eddie is, by all means, a popular vlogger. He’s worked hard to get himself where he is, and the fans love him for that, appreciate him for that.

But they’re also somewhat obsessed with Richie Tozier, and trying to decide if Eddie is, in fact, dating him.

So sue them.

AO3 Link

For @odeto-tozier, based off of their Vlogger!Eddie post.

Tag List: @killerxqueer @richietozierlitaf @princely-dots

I. 101 WAYS TO DITCH YOUR FRIENDS - 932k VIEWS

One of the most popular videos on Eddie’s entire channel, at least for a while, this is where Eddie introduces them. The Losers Club. He’s mentioned them, sure. Talked about having them on for a video, showed off their makeup or their art and directed his fan base to their social medias, but this is where he finally introduces them.

Big Bill is first. Eddie’s best friend, the sweetest guy there is, always there for Eddie. One of the only people to not have made fun of him in middle school for having asthma, Bill knew stuff to do. Places to go. Things to see. And the thing is, Eddie may not have needed an inhaler anymore, but he still never breathed as well as he did when he was with Bill. They’d run all night and never need to catch their breath, that was the kind of bond they had.

And then there’s Mike, and okay, maybe Bill isn’t the sweetest guy in the world. He’s up there, sure, but he doesn’t compare to Mike Hanlon. From the moment Mike is on screen, he’s smiling. Then he realizes he’s being filmed, and he smiles even more. He wants to show the camera a thousand things, from the soft sheep on his farm, to the flowers he’s pressed in his free time, to the pages of history he has organized on his book shelves. Mike is smiles and safety, strong and soft all at once.

Ben is quiet most of the time he’s on camera. While Eddie promises Ben’s all laughs when they’re hanging out, he’s just too shy to do anything for what could possibly (and definitely would) be thousands of people. He’s better at writing words than saying them, and Eddie shamelessly uses that as an opportunity to plug Ben’s up and coming poetry book that he’s been setting up a kickstarter for.

Beverly, Stan, and Richie come as a tangled group. It’s a whirlwind, really, the four of them pushing through the walmart doors at almost 2am. There’s a lot of swift laughter and fumbling of the phone, unwillingly passing the camera from set of hands to set of hands. At some point Richie refuses to give the phone back, holding it high above his head, camera angled down towards a clearly angry Eddie.

There’s a lot of banter, and even Bev and Stan can be heard “oo-ing” in the background and yelling out to “just kiss already!” It’s clearly a joke (maybe?) between a close group of friends, but all of Eddie’s fans instantly latch onto this. It’s perfect, an equal amount of fond push and shove on each end, and it’s addictive.

The walmart group each get their own sections later, and some more group videos are thrown in towards the end, but all of the gif sets made seem to revolve around Richie. His sections is mostly Richie taking the phone and talking about himself, making bad jokes that Eddie swears he’s going to cut out, but it all stays in the video anyway, gasoline on the fire.

II. FUCK THE CHALLENGE SYSTEM - 458k VIEWS

Eddie hates challenges. All of his fans know this, just as they know that any challenge they want Eddie to do - they send to Richie.

Because Richie gets Eddie to do anything.

And that, right there, is what holds every single fan up. If they weren’t dating, why was Eddie putty in Richie’s hands? Best friends, sure, but none of Eddie’s other friends convinced him to do challenges.

(They don’t mention that maybe, just maybe, it’s because Richie is a little shit that loves pushing Eddie’s buttons, and all of his other friends respect him when he declines.

Yeah, they just don’t mention it.)

Except this time, there is no actual challenge. Eddie is going off about how wrong they make him feel, how perverse it is to not only force an uncomfortable situation onto him, but to then expect him to force another youtuber into doing the same. It’s unfair, and unclean, and while he respects any fellow vloggers who enjoy the challenges, he’s officially cancelling any challenge videos on his page ever again.

Richie, who just seems to always be around when challenges are mentioned (who seems to just always be around) immediately flies into the frame.

“You heard it! Eds spagehds is officially moving all challenge videos to my page, so if you want to catch them, you’re gonna have to follow this mother fucker right here.” Eddie’s protests and profanities go ignored, shouts of, “Rich, no! Fuck no!” and then the video cuts to an unfamiliar room, with Eddie moping dejectedly in his chair.

It’s thirty seconds exactly (00:30) of Eddie looking sadly into the camera, dead silence around him. In the empty space next to him, a chair that presumably expects to host one Richie Tozier, is a hyperlink to Richie’s channel, and their first Challenge Compilation video.

( Eddie Finally Does All the Challenges He’s Been Refusing, All At Once - 212k Views )

And now the subs know that Richie can make Eddie do anything, any fucking thing.

And they know what the inside of Richie’s room looks like, too.

III. WHY GAYS RELY ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION - 644k VIEWS

This video is literally the most fucking blurry, conspiracy theory, I-Have-Proof-Of-The-Lochness-Monster shit that Eddie’s fandom has ever seen. It is, by all accounts, a normal ass vlog. Eddie’s there at his counter, bright sunlight from the large windows in his kitchen filtering into the space, a cup of (presumably) black tea immediately to Eddie’s right. Not that he’ll ever drink it in the video, because he never does, but he does use it to keep his hands warm when they aren’t busy flying all over the place while he angrily vents about why public transportation is the worst, but actually driving makes him too fucking anxious to function.

Because, come on, fuck turnpikes.

The video is approximately two minutes and thirteen seconds (2:13) long, and yet this video has triple the amount of views as every past two minute long vlog for the past four months.

(Four months ago Eddie released a two minute vlog that was nothing but Eddie’s friends petting his hair, and Eddie making soft happy faces in return. The fandom continues to keep that video alive, if only by desperately comparing the length of Richie petting Eddie to the length of every other loser doing so in hopes that the numbers will add up and mean something. So far, it doesn’t.)

There’s really nothing about this vlog that stands out, not even the mug Eddie uses or the clothes he wears. The outfit is one that they’ve seen before, between fashion vlogs and #ootd instagram posts.

No, the reason this particular video skyrockets in popularity is not because of anything Eddie does, but because, around 1:43, from a very distant shot, you can see a figure lazily walking into the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and some cereal, and leaving. That figure, almost 100% wearing nothing but boxers, looks a hell of a lot like one Richie Tozier.

You know, disregarding the distance. And the pixelation. And Eddie’s face cutting off the figure most of the time anyway, because it is his vlog.

But that almost-naked figure in the background is definitely an almost-naked Richie Tozier, the fandom swears it.

IV. PRETTY BOY TRANSFORMATION - 722k VIEWS

The entire fan base already knew Eddie was a pretty boy. That was half of the appeal of his channel in the first place, that you knew exactly what you were going to get. A safe place for any identity. Eddie had been sent plenty of soft shirts and flower crowns already, and half of what he opened on his unboxing streams was pastel. The fans didn’t need to make edits or gifs or icons - Eddie was perfectly happy to wear all of it on his own.

But Eddie with make up, that was an entirely new type of pretty boy.

The video starts with Bev and Eddie bickering, and quickly devolves into not-so-subtly shoving each other’s shoulders while trying to get in front of the camera. They’re both laughing, wide smiles and warm eyes, until finally Bev pushes Eddie’s head down and sticks her whole face into the camera to let all 1.2 million subscribers know that she is, in fact, going to do Eddie’s makeup - but only after letting Eddie pick his own outfit, first.

The dusty blue eyeshadow is a safe choice, and matches the large sweater Eddie’s wearing. Then Bev is drawing large wings onto Eddie’s tan skin with white liquid, and lining his bottom lid with decorative dots. Eddie tries to sass Bev the entire time she’s trying to put on white lipstick that she had found from god knows where, but Eddie refuses to stop talking until finally she admits defeat and let’s Eddie put on a soft matte pink instead. The last touch is silver glitter, thickly painted from the corner of Eddie’s eyes and down his cheeks.

The orange light of the sun skips across Eddie, shimmering like dust. Eddie makes a pouty kissy face, lips puckered and eyelashes fluttering, head just barely resting on his hand while his large sleeve slides down his thin wrist. And that’s when it happens.

The first actual conclusive clue.

(So the fans say. Because really, an audio clip that is exactly .02 seconds long is hardly more conclusive than any of their video evidence, but the file still spreads like wildfire.)

“Cute, cute, cute!”

The voice comes from off screen, and Eddie snaps his teeth in the direction of Richie’s voice before the video hard cuts to Eddie posing for the camera.

V. TRANSPORTATION STRIKES AGAIN - 834k VIEWS

It’s another shitty phone video, and this time the quality is even worse because of the trembling car. A quarter of the video is blurred, and again, this is another two minute vlog. Two minutes and thirty one seconds (2:31) to be exact. A quarter of that leaves, well, not much actual time to have actual footage.

Once again, Eddie’s transportation life is crumbling. The buses are all shut down, too many workers on strike, and there’s no other quick way to be mobile. He’s stuck in Richie’s run down truck, and maybe he’s a little fond of it, but he doesn’t have time for Richie to make seven ridiculous pit stops.

The fans are a little disappointed that they don’t get to see Richie and Eddie’s gas station excursions, but they notice when the video cuts from an empty truck to one filled with drinks and snacks, and that only means one thing - Eddie gave in and let Richie get whatever he wanted. Again.

One point for the shippers.

It’s a short glance into Eddie’s life, just something quick to keep his subs satisfied until he can finish editing his full length video, which he promises will be out by the end of the next day.

“Aw, Eds, it’s like you care.” Then Richie’s ruffling Eddie’s wind swept hair, and Eddie is trying to keep his stern expression on despite the laughter that starts bubbling up from his chest. He swats at Richie’s hand, yelling at him to watch where he’s fucking driving, but even behind the wheel Richie manages to be a menace.

Then they’re there, wherever there is, (and yet again the fans wish they knew, because Eddie casually keeps skipping over it, but they can at least realize there’s a line of privacy there somewhere that they shouldn’t overstep). Then Richie is taking the phone from Eddie, mock saluting it, and kissing Eddie’s head before pushing him out the door.

Yeah, the all of the fans double take, too. Rewind the video, and then rewind it again. Throw on captions for good measure. That’s definitely there, they aren’t searching pixels this time.

Richie just kissed Eddie on the forehead. If he isn’t whipped, which he should be, all of Eddie’s fans will be whipped for him.

+I. THE REAL MTV: CRIB TOUR!! - 1.1M VIEWS

Eddie’s not in his normal spot. The lighting is different, and the camera is close to his face - utilizing an above angle that Eddie doesn’t use often.

But Eddie’s smiling, his face expression tired and content. Most of his greeting comes out mumbled, and he tries his best to address his fans, but he can’t. He’s too comfortable, he tells them. He recently invested in a good pillow, and boy, has it made all the difference. He’s not a sell out, he just doesn’t see anything wrong with product placement. If a quality brand is willing to offer him merchandise for free, he’s gonna take it.

Except then he’s pushed, and the feed goes hazy for a moment, until the phone is back up in place - and zoomed out this time, too.

Eddie is on his couch, curled up in between Richie’s legs. “I’m not a pillow, Eds. I’m not sponsoring you.”

“Of course you are, shut the fuck up.”

Then Eddie’s rambling about how comfortable the cushions are, how warm the sunlight is, how he doesn’t think he’ll ever walk again if it means he has to get up. He goes on like this for a long while, and Richie just watches him, his own hair wild with sleep and a smile taking up over half his face. When Eddie realizes he’s talking to himself, he turns in Richie’s arms to look up at his face, and Richie jolts.

“Hey there, princess.”

“Are we going to show them our new apartment or not?”

“Mmmmm…. or not, if that means I get to stay here with you.” Eddie sighs in defeat, but he doesn’t look disappointed in the slightest as he leans back to lay his head against Richie’s chest. Richie dips down to kiss his forehead before taking the phone, leading his own rambling.

Twelve minutes in, (12:46 exactly), Eddie blinks awake. He looks up and wordlessly cuts Richie off, pressing their lips together gently. There’s a few seconds of silence where the two pull back to stare at each other with soft smiles curling their lips, sunlight filtering between them.

The fandom cries.

“Come on, loser, let’s show them our new home already.”

The fandom cries harder.

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it 2017 #my writing #youtuber au

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