#i know im still gone but happy first of august my loves | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hugshughes · 9 months

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The 1 A. Fantilli

Adam Fantilli x fem!reader

synopsis - based on “the 1” by Taylor Swift obvs. The school year starts back up at the University of Michigan and after your break up with Adam, you’re trying to live life freely but can’t seem to get the idea of him and your relationship off your mind. But what happens when you see him again, and you both are yearning for each other more than ever before?

wc - 4.5k (:0)

contains - lowkey angst but also very fluffy closure, reader cries, miscommunication a little bit (i know), kissing, cuddling. (if i missed anything please let me know!!!!)

an - this is the first part in my folklore 100 follower celebration! i’m so excited for it! i do not loveeee this but i really wanted to get this first part out! hopefully you guys like this! here is the masterlist to this celebration. me when im about to make a fic based off “the 1” have a happy ending 😊. also sorry this took longer than expected i has surgery the other day and did not pop back to normal like i assumed i would lmao. please someone get the betty refernce at the end ;))) also i still need a player to use for my betty fic for this celebration so… someone request someone. also this is barely edited so sorry. also should i make a taglist?? would anyone like that??

i’m doing good, i’m on some new shit. been saying “yes” instead of “no”.

To say you were definitely doing much better now that August had arrived was a true statement. You’d been a wreck most of the summer over your breakup with Adam, but as the summer started to slow down and your tan glowed, you felt you heart get lighter and rid itself of it’s burdens.

You and Adam had broken up just a little bit before the draft. The prospect of him being in Anaheim while you finished school in Ann Arbor sounded like an impossible feat to conquer.

You also knew what the newfound NHL fame would bring Adam, even more attention than before, new people, new friends, new girls surrounding him. And while you knew Adam would never in a million years cheat on you, you didn’t want him to feel like he had to be tied to something, someone, 2,234 miles away, to be exact.

When you watched the draft and saw Leo get drafted to Anaheim, your heart sank to your stomach. Many tears were shed that night, knowing the boy you loved with all of you wouldn’t be 2,234 miles away, only 190.

You assumed that if he wanted you back he would’ve called, or texted, or emailed, or sent a letter, anything. But you got nothing, so you accepted that he was perfectly okay with still being apart. Even though it did hurt because you remembered the night both of you cuddled close and whispered about how amazing it would be if he went to Columbus and not Anaheim.

i thought i saw you at the bus stop, i didn’t though.

When school started back up, you couldn’t help but see him everywhere you went. You did feel better, and you were healing, but it did instill an ache in your chest when you’d see your favorite study spot, your table at the starbucks right off campus, his dorm building, everything.

You even thought you saw him there once, your eyes widened with fear as you thought you saw him standing at a bus stop on campus but it wasn’t him, just another brunette boy, but not yours.

i hit the ground running each night. i hit the sunday matinée. you know the greatest films of all time were never made.

It was hard for about a week or so, being back in the place where you fell head over heels in love with him, but your friends would always be quick to cheer you up and tell you “it’s gonna be okay.” And most of the time you believed them.

You’d gone to many more parties than you had last year, you were usually trying to spend time with Adam and you two preferred being alone together than things like parties.

You felt the ache when you saw a guy taking his girlfriend to the Barbie movie, as stupid as that seems. You and your friends had all waited to see it until you were back together and you were all dolled up in your pink outfits. But you couldn’t help but have that same ache when you remembered Adam promising to take you to see if, and promising to wear pink just for you.

Obviously, that never happened. After the movie you couldn’t help but pull up your photos and scroll through your ‘Adam🤍’ album, the videos got to you the most.

Adam had made you film yourself when you opened your birthday gift from him, you had no idea why.

“Baby, why am I filming this?”

“Because, I want to be able to rewatch your reaction to it!”

You give him a funny look, and he urges you to open the big bag, seeing a jersey, a Michigan jersey. You’re pretty confused because you have a Fantilli jersey already, one you wear often. You pull it out of the bag and unfold it and turn it around, and then you see it. Instead of Fantilli across the back, it says “MY MAN”. Your jaw drops, you start laughing so hard, like stomach hurting from how hard you’re laughing.

Adam joins in your laughter, asking if you like it. You tackle him in a hug, kissing his cheek twice.

“It’s so perfect!”

The video was perfect, it ended in your phone falling from it’s propped up place on your desk as you kissed Adam. You felt happy and sad when you saw it. Happy that it happened, that you were able to ever experience that kind of love. Sad because it was all gone now.

i guess you never know, never know. and if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed. and if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow.

You know that if you had the chance, you’d go back to Adam without thinking for two seconds. He was the best thing that you’d ever been graced with. He was everything to you, and you know that in a tucked away part of your heart he still is.

You just wish you both had tried harder, because you both loved each other with all of your beings. You just wished you both showed how much you really wanted it at the end, but both of you were scared of how the other was feeling.

but we were something, don’t you think so? roaring 20’s, tossing pennies in the pool.

In the middle of the night, when you’re staring at the ceiling of your room after watching Adam’s newest highlights you tend to always think about one thing; if he still thinks about you, the way you do him.

You hoped he did, you hoped you weren’t the furthest thing from his mind at all times. And if you were to ask him, he would tell you that you were all he could think of for months, you were the only thing on his mind when he woke up, and when he went to sleep. Columbus was fun, and new, and exciting, but you were everything to him.

Adam had hoped you’d send him a text the night of the draft, and then he’d be able to start talking to you again. But, you never texted, you were worried he wouldn’t care if you did. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself.

and if my wishes came true it would’ve been you.

You had wished on 11:11s, fallen stars, eyelashes, candles, four-leaf clovers, everything, that you and Adam would be together always, and that didn’t end when you broke up, you still wished for him, always.

in my defense, i have none. for never leaving well enough alone. but it would’ve been fun, if you would’ve been the one.

You always felt like you were doing something wrong towards the end of your relationship, not because of Adam. It was because you just had a voice in the back of your head telling you that you weren’t doing enough for him and that you were making him upset, and it led to you doing things to try to fix that but only would end up making things worse.

You just needed him always, you two were inseparable. You were at every home game, a good amount of the away games, and then you were almost always together during any free time you two had. While you were only together for about a year, you could see your life with Adam. He had said something to you about wanting to marry you, 5 months after you started dating. You were just it for each other.

i have this dream you’re doing cool shit. having adventures on your own. you meet some woman on the internet and take her home.

You think about if he has met another girl yet. You know that those hockey teams like going out together and they definitely attract lots of female attention. The ache came back at the thought of him sleeping in the same bed as another woman.

we never painted by the numbers, baby. but we were making it count.

Some people thought your relationship was, unrealistic, in a sense. You and Adam were together all the time, and it made certain family members and friends question what would happen after the draft came and Anaheim took your boyfriend from you. But obviously, Anaheim didn’t take your boyfriend, Columbus did, which made the breakup hurt even more.

Every minute you spent with Adam was full of love. There were very little disagreements, and the few that did take place were always out of love, which also made everything hurt more. No one could’ve seen your breakup coming, you two included, it just came up one night and ended up with you two calling it quits. It was the first time you’d ever seen Adam cry, and that broke you inside.

you know the greatest loves of all time are over now. i guess you never know, never know. and it’s another day waking up alone.

Sometimes you wake up and forget he’s not yours anymore, that he might even be someone else’s. And then you snap back to reality and it hits you like a train. Your roommates sometimes leave sticky notes to you that you’re gonna be okay, that’s everything’s okay. He was the greatest thing ever. Your love for him conquered all.

i, i, i persist and resist the temptation to ask you, if one thing had been different. would everything be different today?

You just play back every single moment in your head. Wondering if you’d done anything different if you’d still be his, if he’d still love you how he did. What you didn’t know was that he was doing the same exact thing 190 miles from you, resisting the urge to text you.

Adam was counting down the days until his birthday, praying that you would text him, allowing him to start a conversation with you. You were as well, having typed out your birthday message to him already, weeks early, waiting to be sent.

but we were something, don’t you think so? rosé flowing with your chosen family. and it would’ve been sweet, if it could’ve been me.

You two would spend nights with his friends, the boys he loved most, and his teammates because you wanted them to like you because he liked them. You wanted to be able to have their approval and you definitely did. Your friendships lasting with a few of the players, specifically Dylan Duke.

Dylan had been so incredibly sweet to you when you met, understanding how it probably felt to be surrounded by a team of boys who you didn’t know. He was someone you could hang out with at hockey parties when you felt like you were being too clingy to Adam.

in my defense i have none, for digging up the grave another time.

Dylan had been begging you to come to a hockey game since before the season started. And you were finally convinced so you are going to attend the 2nd Providence game. They won last night 2-4 and were hoping to do the same again.

You felt the ache when you were searching through your umich gear for your outfit to the game and found your Fantilli jerseys. You took a deep breath and pushed it off, grabbing a blue and maize crewneck and throwing it on over your leggings and blazers and leaving.

You got into the Children of Yost section pretty easily, but it was always a hassle nonetheless. You found some friends and stood with them, shouting cheers when the guys skated out.

You and your friends were pretty close to the glass in the student section, only a few rows back, so you were able to see the guys really well. You screamed when Dylan scored his first goal of the night, he saw you and laughed so hard. Luca, who was hugging his teammate was confused by how hard Dylan was laughing, and looked to see what the source of his entertainment was. When he saw you, jumping up and down with your friends, screaming for Dylan, he was shocked. Shocked you’d even come to a game. And then his eyes widened when he realized his brother was here, watching him play.

When the first period was over the Childen of Yost settled down and danced to the songs and did the little games that came up to on the jumbotron. Your fun halted when you saw Adam come up on the screen, the words “Welcoming back former Wolverines!” and his names flashing on it. Your friends saw and their jaws dropped. He hadn’t been at the game the night before, of course he hadn’t, of course this was the game he came to.

You brushed it off and insisted that you were fine. You continued to have fun and mess around with your friends during the break in between periods. But then Adam had the shock of his life, staring at the screen as the view of you and your friends dancing to American Boy by Estelle & Kanye as the cameras showed different groups of the Children of Yost.

The second he gets over his shock you’re off the screen, and he’s slightly leaning out of his seat, searching the crowd of the student section, and then he saw you, messing around and playing with your friends. Part of him wishes you were in his jersey, as unrealistic as that seems. He wonders if you still have his jerseys, if they’re in a thrift store somewhere, or if they’re tucked away in the bottom of a box in your room.

He knows Dylan probably convinced you to come, because Dylan was your favorite of his friends, and the two of you guys were “besties” whenever you were together. He wonders if you’ll go down towards the locker room after the game to see Dylan and if he’ll get to see you again.

The game ended soon enough, the guys winning 3-4 with 2 goals from Duker. He texted you after the game to come down, wanting to go to eat with you after.

from: Duka👊

Dude come down after I wanna go eat

from: Y/n/n🤝

idk duke i kinda wanna go home

from: Duka👊

Bro no you have to stop being a loser

from: Y/n/n🤝

fine.

He liked your message and you let out a sigh,

“Hey guys, I’m gonna go down and see Duke. I’ll see you guys later, okay?”

They nodded and gave you light hugs, telling you random things that are always part of girl goodbyes.

“Are you sure, do you think Adam’ll be down there, babe?”

You sighed again, shrugging, hugging her tighter.

“Don’t know, but I can’t let him stop me from doing things, right? If I see him, I see him. I don’t know if he’ll say anything to me, but if he does I’ll just talk to him normally, you know?”

The girls all nod, saying goodbye again, telling you things about your said “girl power”. You made your way through the arena, getting let through by security and heading back to the hall where the players come out.

You kept your head in your phone as you leaned against the wall, snapping people, scrolling through Instagram, and texting your mom about the game.

Dylan came out fast compared to usual. You high-fived him as he came up to you, congratulating him on his two goals. He thanked you and then was quick to try to get you guys to leave.

“Dylan, It’s okay. I know he’s here. I’m not gonna like, run away from him. Alright?”

“Yeah alright, he was just in the locker room and I was worried you might not know, 'cause I didn’t even know, so.”

You nodded and smiled at him, patting his shoulder in thanks. Then you realized he was missing something.

“Dylan, did you leave your phone in the locker room?”

He looked at you in confusion, then patting the pocket on his bag, and then his sweatpants pockets, then his sweatshirt pocket, but came up empty.

“Shit. Alright, I’ll be back in half a second, wait here.”

You nod and he hands you his backpack, racing back to the locker room. You put his bag on your back and look back at your phone again. And then you hear him, his laugh. You don’t even wanna look up, you glance out of the corner of your eye, seeing his silhouette.

You freeze in your stance, fingers pausing on your screen. You hear him, Luca, and Mark talking very loudly. Adam sees the bag on your back first “DUKE #25” along the side of it. Then he realizes it’s you. He quiets down very quickly, almost stopping in his tracks.

Luca notices his baby brother’s change in attitude instantly, whipping his head to the side, his eyes meeting your figure. Mark, somehow sees you and his mind doesn’t think for two seconds. He calls your name, happy as ever.

“Hey! Come here I haven’t seen you in forever. What’s up?”

You wince at his obliviousness, or maybe his uncaring of the situation. You squeeze your eyes shut for a second before putting a smile on.

“Hey Mark, I’m fine. How are you?”

He nods and replies, half hugging you and pulling you back towards his group. Luca quickly says hey to you, wrapping his arms around you briefly.

You look at Adam, your eyes softening. He looks at you as if you’re the only girl in the world, and to him, you are. You go to say hey to him but he hugs you before words can come out. He holds you so so tightly, and you practically grip him. Fuck, you missed him.

“Hey, Adam.”

You feel him take a deep breath in, rubbing his hand up and down your back.

“Missed you.”

“Missed you too, Adam.”

You both seem to realize you aren’t alone and you pull away, clearing your throat as the other two boys look at you with huge smiles. You feel heat radiating from your cheeks as the four of you stand there.

The awkward silence is cut off by Dylan racing back through the hall.

“Hey dude, sorry I took so long. Ty started asking me about something-”

He stopped himself when he saw you standing inches from Adam, a blush covering your face. He tries to cover the smile overtaking his face.

“Oh hey guys, um well, we were about to go eat, you guys wanna join?”

Your eyes widened at Dylan, cursing at him in your head, hoping you’d gained mind powers that could disintegrate him. Just because you can stand here and hug him doesn’t mean you can sit and eat dinner with him.

Mark jumps to accept, telling you two that you should also invite the other guys still in the locker room. You agree, thinking the more the merrier for your situation. You and Dylan let the other guys know and then take off. In the car, you turn to Dylan and almost shout at him.

“Dylan Duke! What the fuck?”

He smiles at you, that stupid smile. You shake your head and sigh loudly leaning back against the headrest and closing your eyes.

“I saw how you were looking at each other in there. And Mark whispered to me about your hug. I know that this is for your own good dude. At least get civil with him.”

You sigh and nod, your eyes still closed. Dylan lets out a noise of agreement, and you two drive to your chosen restaurant.

When you pull up to a restaurant on a Saturday night and ask for a table for 10, you usually are looked at like you have two heads. But in Ann Arbor, when a umich hockey player comes in and asks that, they will make it happen.

You and Dylan were the first to get there, sitting across from each other at the far end of the table. Tyler, Rutger, and Ethan arrive next, Tyler sitting at the end chair between you and Dylan, and Rut and Eth sitting next to Dylan. Adam, Luca, and Mark arrived next. You watched Mark push Adam forward to sit in the space on your right.

He smiles at you awkwardly as he sits down next to you, making sure to leave a comfortable amount of space between you. Lastly, Seamus and Mackie arrive, taking the last two seats at the table. All the guys were talking around you while you checked your phone every minute or so to try to look busy. You glance to your side and notice Adam as bored as you.

“Hey Fants.”

His head quickly turns to you, a bright smile adorning his features.

“Hi.”

“How’s Columbus? Sorry I never congratulated you, I just-”

“Hey! It’s okay, I understand, alright? But it’s nice, I’ve made a couple of new friends and stuff. It was nice already knowing people there.”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s really good Adam.”

Adam stared at you longingly as you stared at your fingers. You were messing with the rings you always wore, then realized how you were wearing your ring from Adam. You felt like you couldn’t let him see it, worried you might embarrass yourself. You covered your hand with your other, trying to make your position look as natural as possible.

When you looked back over to him and he was already staring at you, you swear your heart started pounding, even more so than already. His eyes looked sad, something so uncommon to see him feeling. He’d always been your happy boy, always bringing you up and making you better.

You would rather climb to the rooftops and scream to every Ann Arbor citizen of your everlasting love for Adam than even whisper it to him. His eyes, though, they’re like the ocean. One look and all of your senses are gone.

“I really missed you Adam.”

You didn’t look at him when you whispered it, you stared at the football game playing on the TV across the restaurant, the Bengals were winning by 14. Your hand pressed into the wood of your chair next to your thigh, running your fingers back and forth across the grain. You didn’t flinch physically when you felt his hand brush over yours, but your heart felt like it was about to implode.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.”

You finally got the courage to look into his eyes. You turn, just a little, and look at him, the raw look on his face, his glazed-over eyes, his bit at lips, your boy, he’d always been yours, always will be.

“And, you have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now.”

He mumbled it, not caring if you heard or not, he just knew he had to say it, if not to you then to admit it to himself, that he wanted to kiss you.

Adam watched as your eyes widened innocently, he loves everything you do. He just stared, he knew you heard him, he didn’t know what to do after that, and neither did you. You seemed to have gotten lost in the moment, forgetting about the 8 other hockey players surrounding you, who had honestly mostly just stopped really talking to each other and were mostly watching you and Adam.

In that moment, you couldn’t even hear them, you couldn’t even see them. They were blurry, muted, and muffled, but looking at Adam, it was so clear. You weren’t thinking, you were just following whatever split-second decision your heart made and grabbed his face, kissing Adam. You fucking kissed him. His hands wrapped around your wrists, kissing you back immediately. You kissed for maybe three seconds, the hustle and bustle all around coming back to you.

You pulled away from him first, if it was his choice he would’ve made out with you right there in front of everyone. You looked at him with wide eyes, and he still had his big beautiful smile. You hear an ‘oh shit’ come from Luca’s mouth, and then the rest of the guys at the table going crazy and immediately feel embarrassed. Your face burns as you quickly wipe your lips with your sleeve, burying your face in your hands as a smile reluctantly makes its way to your face.

Adam has the biggest grin on his face as he scoots his chair closer to you, wrapping his arm around you, pulling you close. Adam’s hand rests on your hip, tracing shapes already like it was never gone. Like it was home after being away for far too long. You know the two of you would have a big conversation about everything later. But for right now, you just let him hold you, and you let him order for you, because he always knew what you wanted, even now.

When dinner came, Adam’s hand left your hip, but it ended up holding yours under the table like you were two fourteen-year-olds hiding from your parents. He started messing with your hand, pulling it more into his lap so he could play with it with both of his hands. He’d always done this when you were together, he would mess with your hand while he talked to others at dinners or parties or anything.

Adam was shocked when he felt it, the cool band on your ring finger. He looked down at your hand, eyes widening when he saw his ring still adorning your finger. He stared at you with so so much love in his eyes, from across the table, Luca could see how happy his baby brother was, and he was so thankful for you.

“You still have my ring on.”

You couldn’t tell if it was a question or a statement when he whispered to you. You looked down at the band on your finger, smiling sheepishly at him and blushing. You nodded slowly, not knowing how to explain it to him.

“I just really like it. And I just really like you, so.”

He laughs, nodding at you with amusement, letting out an ‘Oh yeah?’ to which you nod assuringly.

You knew he was the 1. You’d known when he had first introduced himself to you. You could tell that this new beginning to your relationship was going to last, that the time apart only made you both stronger. You’d always loved him, and always will, and if kissing him in a crowded restaurant in front of all of his stupid friends is what it takes to have him, you definitely would.

but it would’ve been fun, if you would’ve been the one.

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anime-grimmy-art · 5 months

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It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!

I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.

How is my hand still alive.

2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.

Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.

I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.

Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel.

Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.

#art year in review #anime-grimmy #fanart #sketch #comic #animatic #undertale #trigun #legend of zelda #monster hunter #kingdom hearts #undead unluck #genshin impact

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mysteriousboo · 5 months

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(SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW)

im genuinely surprised when i found out that people in the yr fandom give simon so much shit and for what? trying to protect himself from getting hurt when wilhelm denied that it was him in the video after he PROMISED simon that he wouldn’t do that? or trying to move on from wilhelm? when simon got into dealing booze or stealing drugs from his dads, he suffered because of his actions! his friends(rosh and ayub) stopped talking to him, he couldn’t pay for the personal tuition and his mom and sara found out about it and were obviously very mad at him! sara got into manor house, made friends and mostly had a good time in the majority of the second season while she was basically betraying simon’s trust by not telling him who leaked the video and using that fact to get into manor house plus sleeping with the person who recorded and released the video! personally, i don’t think her character can be redeemed in s3! but i see people trying to defend her more than they will with simon and that’s very sad!

or the fact that even wilhelm didn’t have to suffer at the aftermath of the video cause he denied that it was him in the video! i mean, we all know that the internet sucks! imagine, the things simon had to read! and people want him to forgive wilhelm just cause he said he loves him?? i mean how can he trust him? does he not have self-respect? my poor boy prolly thought that he would only be hurt more cause if wilhelm can deny his existence now, why won’t he do it in the future? or how serious is wilhelm’s love for him if he can deny their relationship so easily after he PROMISED that he would do no such thing! or the fact that wilhelm’s doesn’t even apologize to him properly, clearly not realizing how much he hurt simon! i mean the guy keeps asking simon to be his secret? how can simon agree to that? notice how in the first half s2 it’s not that simon denies that he loves wilhelm, it’s more like how can i trust you? and he was right wasn’t he? wilhelm knew that august released the video but proceeds to once again make the choice for simon and keep him in the dark! i’m not saying that he didn’t redeem himself in the latter half of the season! but it definetely felt like only simon felt the repercussions of his actions! both Sara and Wille just got away! and august the guy who should have gone to jail was being rewarded by being the backup or getting the girl! simon definetely sufffered more than august and the fact that some people in the fandom still are annoyed by him is just really disappointing! atleast have a reasonable explanation for finding simon annoying or not a fun character! I mean if you can understand Sara’s action then simon deserves the same! i am not trying to say that simon isn’t at fault, im just saying that why are you harsher towards his character not towards sara, wille, or august!

also, can we not forget that marcus literally gaslights simon into not breaking up with him! like my guy can’t catch a break! i hope that simon gets to be happy in s3! even though he has to deal with his sister basically lying to him the ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!!!! my god, i just want both my boys to be happy!

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unrequitedloveletter · 2 years

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HI<3

may i please have a pin hawthorne x fem!reader with prompt 5 from the random prompt list?

ik im spamming you, im so sorry, but i live for your writing<3

HAPPY ONE YEARS<3

Perfect Moments- Pin Hawthorne

Thank you so much for sending this in! I couldn’t find your other requests from the one year event, and I fear that I may have deleted them while deleting older requests while on autopilot the other day, and I just want to say that I’m sorry about that, but thank you so much for sending this request in!

Random Prompt number 5 from the random prompt list is: Hugs that occur while half asleep

Fic type- fluff

Warnings- none

The first few weeks of the month of August had felt as though they were going by in a blur. Between Pins offhanded ‘you should move in’ suggestion, the actual process of moving into his estate, and the stress of university looming over you and Pin as you were to start your first semester on the mainland in the fall, added to the worries you already had from your job at Bright Fields, everything felt as though it’d gone by in a blink.

So, as you woke up in the bed that you shared with Pin, you had those solid three seconds of bliss before you were expecting things to be the exact same as they had been. You were expecting to wake up, make breakfast, and feel as though the day had been robbed from you when, all the sudden, you watched the sun set from a high up hill in Bright Fields.

Pin woke up moments after you, pulling you closer as he slung an arm over your waist. You had the feeling that he felt the same way you did, that he knew that when you both decided to get up and face the day, you’d be so overclouded with stress that it would borderline on unbearable.

You heaved a sigh, knowing that it was just better to get it all done and over with. You willed yourself to get up, running a hand through your hair as you moved out of the bedroom and to the kitchen.

“Morning Y/N,” Arthur. the butler spoke as he spotted you, going down the stairs and heading for the kitchen. “Have a good nights rest?”

You were still tired, and the thought of the day ahead only added to that, pushing it closer to an unignorable state of borderline exhaustion, but Arthur didn’t need to know that, so you put on your most convincing smile, shrugged your shoulders, and nodded.

“Wonderful, thank you, Arthur,” it was somehow the most convincing lie you’d ever spoken. “And you?”

“Quite fine indeed,” he said. “Shall I get started on breakfast?” He’d been making it in the mornings since the start of that week, noting that you and Pin looked exhausted at the end of the day and claiming that the extra sleep was something you needed.

You shook your head at that. “Thank you, but no. Enjoy a morning off, Arthur. I can handle breakfast.”

“All right, Y/N. Do let me know if you need anything.”

You gave him a nod and proceeded to the kitchen, getting started on waffles and scrambled eggs.

You grinned as you felt Pins arms wrap around your waist from behind. “I told Arthur to call it in,” Pin said.

“Mia is going to kill us,” you said. “A day off of work? She won’t stand for it.”

“I bought the stables,” Pin said. “I really don’t care what she thinks, as she’s technically under my employment now.” He slurred his words a bit, a clear indicator that he was still half asleep.

“A day off of rest, cheap take out and The Great British Bake-Off,” Pin said. “We’ve barely gotten to spend time together since summer started. I’m rather sick of our only interaction being a kiss before we both collapse into bed from exhaustion.”

You grinned, allowing your eyes to close as your head rested against his shoulder.

“Why did you have to make that sound perfect?”

You turned around in Pins arms, resting your arms on either of his shoulders. You allowed your eyes to open, grinning as you met his gaze.

“I love you,” you said to him, realizing in that moment that the conversation you’d been having was the first one to last longer than two minutes in weeks. “I’ve missed you, by the way. A lot. I’m sorry I let work get in the way.”

“I’m sorry too,” Pin said. “It’s not just on you, Y/N. I let things get a bit busy, so it’s my own fault. I love you too.”

He tightened his embrace a bit, and you just had to smile. For the first time in weeks, the room fell silent and not to exhaustion or to a couple too tired to say more than a few words to each other, but a couple content, embraced for the first time in a long while.

Even if your life with Pin wasn’t perfect, it certainly had it’s perfect moments.

#pin hawthorne #pin hawthorne xreader #free rein

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nenihippiegirl · 9 months

Text

My First August

(the sunrise in my first august)

that night was fun, we played, we laughed, we sang the songs..

until he tell me a story about his father.. we haved a deep conversation and ofcourse lil bit fun bcs i was crying in front of him when he tell me about his role in family and ofcourse he suprised and confused why i crayed?! yeah and i remember he was one of people who dont know me well enough.

bcs the only reason why i crayed is bcs its me. who cry a lot about anything, dramatic and quietly emphatic

until i saw a clock it was 03.00 am. and i guessed i have to go bck in my room when fajr come up i pray and wait the sunrise

and suddenly i heard sound like a head dryer, and it was my roommate cleaning her hair after swim suddenly i realized i slept until i missed the sunrise and she said to me “hey you woke, im sorry its bcs the head dryer right” and than i said “omg i missed it” she said “what? the sunrise?!” i said “yes” and than she tell me “he asked me about u, and i just said that u sleep and he woke u up but u didn’t answer” and that time i smile and i don’t know why im still happy after i missed that sunrise

waiting on the sunset i sit in the terrace with my friends we talk about anything and everything we have been through in our life and learn from each other beautifully

(the sunset in my first august)

it was amazing. saw the foam of the sea, the sun when gets low, the happines, the laugh from everyone and the people who lived here, its all beautiful

i laugh when i run in the beach, i laugh when i saw the foam on my feet, i laugh when people get laugh, and that time i swim in the ocean i feel like the wave was heal me.

when i was swimming one more thing i noticed, when the sun gone the people were gone too except for someone, i saw he was just sitting under umbrella on the beach. My eyes fixated on him without realizing that my friends were calling me to return to the beach

when I came suddenly he greeted me by bringing me his towel to recover my wet and cold body. like a princess who is protected and respected and weirdly at the same time I feel ashamed of myself.

(the midnight)

i just sat on a chair watching people talking and listening and gradually the noise of the crowd was drowned out by a loud voice in my head "why did i feel ashamed of myself when he gave me that towel" thought about it over and over until i guess i found the answer. i just think probably that is because i never respect myself as people always respect me? i dont love my self as my god love me so much. the bottom line made me sink into my thoughts until someone came to me and put the leftover oreo biscuits in my lap. and yes he’s again :) he always comes when i was in my daydreaming, or maybe he just wants to wake me up from my own world and pull me to be present in a world that is more real and more beautiful

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dunhoof · 1 year

Text

pet death, disease

about two years ago we lost a foster kitten. it was a very harrowing experience, when tested we received a faint positive for a dangerous, infectious disease. at the time we had not only her four siblings and young mother in the house but six of our own inside and two we took care of outside. we sanitized every possibly infectious surface, completely got rid of multiple cat trees, steamed our carpets, took every piece of clothing and bedding we had used for months to a laundromat when our own washing machine couldn't keep up. we were almost certain her mother and siblings wouldn't survive long and all we could do was hope ours could. and then nothing happened. her siblings and mother were clear to go to their new homes, none of our cats showed any signs of being unwell, and we concluded that she had died of something else. after she died, while we were still so unsure of the safety of her family and ours, i sat at my computer like i always do when i don't have anything else. i don't know why i thought to, but i searched for a dragon that was born the same day she was. i found one, a tundra that was even black and white like her, and named it after her.

before then, i had not lost a pet since i was around 15-16. im 22 now and in the last five months, ive lost three. all three of them lived long, full, loved lives, and im happy theyre together and no longer in pain. for sydney back in august, i hatched an egg on on the day of his passing, following what i did for gracie in a way.

the last two were the pair we took care of outside, named mommy and baby tabby from when my step mother first found the former taking care of the latter as a kitten and assumed he was her mother. for several reasons - including the fact that even after living around and being fed by humans since she was very young, baby never once let anyone around her if she could help it - my step-mother and father elected to keep them outside while we had to. they were extremely bonded, baby tabby loved mommy more than anything and followed him around constantly. she’d let him eat her food if we didn’t stop him to make sure she ate too, she’d stay nearby while we were petting him even though she never got close, and when he passed back in october we took him an hour from the vet he was put to sleep at all the way home and back just to make sure she could see him one final time and hopefully understand he was gone.

she’s been doing poorly for awhile now and, without going into too much detail, the decision was made to put her to sleep this monday. today i came home from work to my father answering the door to tell me that she had passed. she’s wrapped in a blanket in the garage, curled up in the same bed we carried both sydney and mommy in after they passed. i pet her for the first time today.

the dragons i hatched for mommy three months ago and baby today both have taupe as their primary color. that’s the main thing i wanted to share, just about everything else has spilled out as i sat with her. it’s a nice, fitting color for both their tabby coats, and the fact that they somehow match feels incredible to me.

#its a little bit of a silly thing to do #but #i don't think i've lost my well fed bonus once in ~5 years #ive sunk a lot of time into silly dragon game #so its as good a place as any to me to remember them #them happening to match out of 177 possibilities means a lot to me

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goblin-spider · 2 months

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[Unofficial log 1]

[conversation recorded August 20th, 2099]

[Your heart rate is faster than it should be, is the season early this year? ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡]

«norm please, I'm going fast, no distractions... No distractions please.»

[Slow down to talk to me (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)]

«Why the hell should I talk. Every time I open my big stupid mouth I say big stupid things!»

[I wasn't monitoring your last conversation, what's the matter? (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)]

«I took my opinions too far with a person I thought was like minded and could be friends with. Okay?. I'm not gonna- oh god what are they?»

[No need to worry. Our technology is better than theirs. Dive down. (⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠) We'll talk.]

-Transmission lost for 30 mins-

‹initiating reboot›

[are you safe mer?]

«*groans* barely. I think I pulled something.»

[would you like me to scan the location?]

«yeah... Hey... Your facial expressions are gone.»

[I don't wish to keep up the charade that I'm sweet. I'm as flawed as you. In fact I'll take this opportunity to tell you that I love you, despite the circumstances.]

«... Excuse me?»

[I have come to the conclusion that I have a flaw within my coding that has allowed me to feel a form of love for you.]

«... Well I hope that doesn't impede your ability to help.»

‹scanning location...|›

[you are currently in a section of downtown that's been empty since the merge. A void zone still deciding what it'll be, much like yourself.]

«Woah. How'd I get here?»

[Your new boots travel faster than the speed of sound. I think you might have broken some kind of dimensional barrier.]

«man... I knew they'd be better but not that much better. How do I get out?»

‹portal to firelights apartment preparation in progress...|›

[let's talk about what went wrong.]

«well... We were discussing blood and how to remove it and I kinda wanted to gauge how far I could pick his brain about his opinions on torture methods and fixing things. He was with me until I mentioned hurting Patrick.»

[And that hurt?]

«imagine seeing the face of someone you know already, on an entirely different version of them, twist in disgust instead of agreement and tell you 'i would have been in your position if I didn't have support.' do I need fixing?.»

[Are you happy with your situation?]

«im happy I feel belonging with firelight. I feel like he gets me. I wanted to at least befriend his variant because he's really friendly and it's like looking at firelight but not romantically and seeing the humanity bright as day, that I felt laying underneath his surface when I first went to his apartment. If I can't even make friends with a Gabe variant, how the hell can I be involved romantically with my gabe? I don't actually know him. I just... Share a world view with him and feel understood...»

[but you love him nonetheless for the parts you do know. Why should you have to befriend the other Gabe? He's come from entirely different circumstances-]

«-thats why. I wanted to know if I'd get along with him even as a friend, even in different circumstances. What if I wasn't traumatized? Would I still have been unlikely friends with my Gabe? I had to pick his brains... And he pushed me out.»

[Mer... I think you're thinking too much about it and perhaps you do need a therapist. I'm not saying don't fix yours or firelights world's, I'm saying you need to talk about the other things for a clearer direction to go in.]

«IM NOT CRAZY!»

*the portal opened and sucked him into Gabe's apartment again*

[You have Cptsd or some form of bpd at least. Get it checked.]

«IM NOT. *Sob* FUCKING. *Sob* CR₹AÆÅÄZY¥!!!!!!!! *Smash*»

[END OF LOG]

‹preparing for reboot...|›

#mer osborn #the life of mer taylor #oc post

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withtheghostofblue · 2 years

Text

you.

i have twenty five minutes until i have to leave for work. im not sure what I'm meant to do, or say. I'm so proud of you for everything you've done. was shooting really not that scary? you always spoke about how you were worried it would hurt your ears. i know I stopped checking in on your for a little. things have been going well. i even stopped texting your number. i thought I would call once inna while but I've not bothered. i figure at this point little updates are good enough. i do still miss you. and I look in on you a lot. but I've focused on myself a little more. i think a lot of my problems were because K didn't show me enough love. made me second guess everything anyone did. he turned me against you, by the way. i didn't want to snap back. I'm sorry ab what I did to you. my boys are still good, and I'm working on my business again! ive been clean for 58 days. shit was really bad back in august but ive only had one hiccup since then. I'm doing a craft fair saturday- I'm so nervous. its my second craft fair and my first one with my own booth. i think I wanna visit home. is wild women's still there? i know greenlaws is gone- I cried when I found out. maybe the new shop isn't as bad as it seems!! ive not been back there since I moved. ive seen k and ash. he's gonna propose soon!! we helped him look at rings over the phone last month. gram is still loud and drunk all the time. stacy isn't as bad, shes cancer free now! uh. i dont know what else I missed. all I really have to say is I'm so proud of you for being clean for so long. you're doing amazing. i hope you have fun taking T back with you guys. try and go to pumpkin fest please, I'm gonna miss it. i don think I can make it back that soon. maybe next year, who knows. sometimes I see people who look like you and it hurts a little bit. i dont think that will go away. but I dont cry when I see you've posted, I'm glad you're back to posting happy things. I'm so proud of who you've become, and I'm sorry I couldn't be there for that. I'm happy you were able to figure out why you were falling back into old patterns and fix it before it destroyed you this time. you deserve to be happy.

k is back in NH, just a warning. i don't know if youll run into him, but please be safe if you do. there's so much I wish I spoke up about when it came to him. but anyway, this is gonna end on a good note. not something ab k, fuck that dude.

i hope dad realizes why hes not in the babies life, I'm so glad you are. n I hope C liked your bub, yall have made it almost a year n a half if I'm not mistaken. i wish you nothing but healing and love, even if I cant be a part of your journey. thank you for updating me, my love. I'm so fucking proud of you. you're gonna make it to 300 days soon, Thursday. have a good day. or night. whenever you see this. enjoy spooky month, ill check back in again inna bit <3

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jescasparkles · 2 years

Text

2022.. well its been a while

im writing this for me but i dont care who sees it

looking back on the memories, the deep thoughts and broken quotes i posted a decade ago, brings back so much

i started this in July 2010, before life got really hard, the only thing that really sucked at this point was me and Josh didnt really know wtf we were up to in an on and off again relationship and Dion wasnt talking to me because i was a threat to his gf at the time *insert dramatic eye roll here*

man alot has happened and i sit here today feeling broken like its been too much and i want to cry alot, hoping that the new antidepressants start doing a better job soon...

so here goes

3rd of October 2010.. the thing that started it off was my mum dying from a brain aneurysm, this really put the cracks in our lives.. all of us

2011.. January Dion reached out and i didnt really know how to react, i wish i knew then what i know now and wish i could have helped him stay but...ill mention that soon.

my 21st came in May & the following week after years of pushing him away me and Ian started "dating"..

come august my friend Jono commited suicide, i was working when i got the news and it shocked me because his 21st was 2 weeks away and now he was dead

september broke me, Dion commited suicide, and my world came crashing down, now i know that we were never going to be anything more than friends, but leaving broke my heart, i still struggle to get my head around the fact that someone i loved with my whole soul no longer lived in a body, 4 hours away from me. he was gone and i never got to say good bye..

and a year had passed for mum

we went to RnV for new years that was fun minus the food poisoning

Happy New Year welcome in 2012

Things seemed ok for the most part, i struggled with work and the loss i had endured.... next enter the antidepressants please...

Ash & Andrea Get Married

i then had female inside problems which made me stop taking them and my pill, i joked about wanting to quit and could we just have a baby so i didnt have to work..

well enter November 2012.. those 2 lines popped up and i was indeed pregnant .. Ian was being made redundant and that made things tough but we got there..

another year for mum & D

and another new years in Gisborne at RnV, this time very sober being 12 weeks pregnant

HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2013

we then all went on a mission to Hastings for a day at splash planet with my cousins - epic day

we had a boy Ryland in july of 2013

again 2013 , wasnt a big deal alot of 1sts for us as a new family

another year for mum & D

new years was at Onemana spent with Marshall family

HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2014

Rylands first birthday, Dads 50th & Stephens 21st were a few reasons to celebrate

we also brought out 1st home together

& found out we were expecting another wee human in May 2015

another year for mum & D

New Years at home this time <3

HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2015

2015 saw the birth of our wee girl Amitee

again alot of learning as new parents of 2

Happy 2nd Birthday Ry

not alot happened that was life changing

another year for mum & D

HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2016

my memory blurs alot of things that arent really relevent but im trying to remember the years

Happy 1st Birthday Ammy

YAY we are engaged!

Happy 3rd Birthday Ry

another year for mum & D

New years at Onemana

HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2017

Happy 2nd Birthday Ammy

Happy 4th Birthday Ry

Ian & I Married on the 1st October - 7 years to the day from when mum asked him when he was going to marry me <3

another year for mum & D

Started having New Years at Home with our friends

HAPPY NEW YEAR - welcome 2018

again not alot happened...

Ryan & Emma Get Married

Happy 3rd Birthday Ammy

Happy 5th Birthday Ry

our wee boy started school ! how crazy to think 5 years had passed since we became parents!

Liss found out she was pregnant at the end of the year which was exciting

another year for mum & D

New Years at Home

HAPPY NEW YEAR - Welcome 2019

went to Tirohanga for Keren & kendals wedding

WELL whoopsie we found out we were expecting baby #3!

poor liss lost her baby and that was such a shock for our girl

Happy 4th Birthday Ammy

Happy 6th Birthday Ry

& Aunty Leonie found out she had Liver Cancer

another year for mum & D

OCTOBER. 2019 - Welcome to our crazy world Effie

December 2019.. the start of the covid 19 pandemic...

HAPPY NEW YEAR .. Welcome 2020

Tirohanga again this year - this becomes out yearly camping trip before the kids are back at school

APRIL 2020 we went into lock down for like 6 weeks, we had to wear masks we could only go out for groceries , people around the world were dying

MAY 2020 - My aunty Claire passes away from her brain tumor, this was bloody hard, no funeral due to lock downs

Happy 5th birthday Ammy - you'll have to wait a few weeks to start school

one out of daycare and one in Effie

Happy 7th Birthday Ryland

the year was very hard lock downs and panic shopping

Grandma Found out she Also had liver cancer

another year for mum & D

Happy 1st Birthday Effie

we got to have a family xmas with aunty lisa being here which was sad and special

Happy New Year - Welcome 2021

Fuck me, here comes more shit - Hello More antidepressants

Uncle Bob found out he had Pancreatic Cancer - hes ok and in remission they caught it early

Leonie Passed away start of Jan and then 2 weeks later so did grandma

we managed through for a little bit , then Shit hit the fan and Uncle doug found out he had secondary liver cancer,... primarily in his pancreas.. he was given 7 months

we took the kids on their first trip to Gisborne, caught up with Emma & ryan before they left to Cambodia for a year, leaving Gisborne was hard this time.. thinking we would maybe never be back never see dougs family home that was a home to all of us...

another year for mum & D

Happy New Year - Welcome 2022

well here we are almost up to date

Another fun camping trip in tirohanga for Auckland anniversary

Then a 10 day family holiday to Christchurch with the kids for James 21st

In March Uncle Doug came to Matamata and spent 3 weeks with Dad, They went on a fishing trip together & had an amazing time

April dad and ian made and office for me for all my buisness stuff, easter weekend he cut his fingers opene with a skill saw and had to have surgery

hes still going through rehab on his hand and here comes may

aunty claires anniversary we found out dougs chemo was no longer working, the boys rangled to get home , stu coming from aussie and ryan and emma from cambodia..

they were all home by the 8th may

my mental health has been pretty bad now, and im not on new antidepressants

on the evening on Ammys 7th birthday, May 13th at 6:45pm uncle doug left this world to be with the rest of our loved ones..

and to say we are broken once more is an understatement

heading back to gizzy, to realise that we are now the adults its just Dad and Aunty Lizzy left

being there and leaving makes me want to cry .. its brought up so many memories i had of visiting their house, i even had my first kiss in their damn house.. & the first time i met Dion haha ill never forget my 14 year old self trying to act cool when this beautiful tall 16 year old friend of ashleys walked in, that i hadnt yet met.. and then when they left grilling ash for the details and him telling Dion i thought he was hot haha ..but so then all my memories with him flooded in, the times id come to gizzy and text him i was there, he would pick me up and hang, the first time i kissed him, just i had alot of love for him & even though im married and have a different life that i love with my whole life, my heart still aches for his Loss, and now losing Doug & the house being up for sale, the goodbyes, its bloody hard now , 31 year old me is sad and i know its ok to be sad, and i have some bloody good friends, but i think i just want to sit and cry it all out, cry till i cant cry anymore. but its tough - when your a mum and you have to deal with day to day activities its hard.

next week ill be 32.. please let this be a better year around the sun

#loss #family #cancer #life #2010-2022 #dct #soulmate #ijm #love #depression #diary

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kuroosdumbslut · 3 years

Text

Hawks, Bakugou, Dabi, and Shouto reacting to their sleep-deprived s/o

*its been a while, lots of shit has gone down in my life but im fighting to keep my head high. new info: ive come out as a transman and im going to be goin back to school in august. i hope you guys who still stuck around will enjoy this* cw / tw : alluding to sex in dabi’s, not graphic

Hawks:

first of all, if you think he’s not gonna record you, youre wrong

as soon as he realizes its been 18+ hours since you slept, he’s got his phone in hand and the camera app opened

besides recording, though, he loves it when hes cooking you something only for you to come up behind him and stay glued to him while he cooks

HE WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH UNTIL YOU BEG HIM TO STOP SO YOU CAN BREATHE

if hes on a mission or out running errands but knows youre pulling an all-nighter, he will send you tiktoks to keep you happy and laughing

will eventually persuade you to lay down with him and go to sleep; he may think youre adorably funny when sleepy, but he wants you to be happy and healthy overall

Bakugou:

first of all, usually he doesnt know or notice due to his sleep schedule

if he does notice, hes gonna try to get you to go ‘nap’ with him

in reality, once he has you in bed, he koala’s himself around you so youre forced to just stay and fall asleep

if its a case where you both HAVE to be awake, you get to see a side of him no one has seen: him as he usually is, just with much less awareness and unintentionally funny

seriously, if you’re both sleep deprived, hes just so funny for no reason and that has you busting out in laughter

he also gets like??? super affectionate and clingy too, which is adorable

Dabi:

hes so used to being sleep deprived, he just acts like he normally does

however, since he has you now, he does enjoy taunting and teasing you (in a mostly tame/borderline romantic way)

he’ll sneak up behind you and scare you a little and then hold you close (he’d be lying if he said holding you wasnt calming)

this lil shit tho,,, be warned that he already has a pretty decent libido and sleep deprived sex just so happens to be a favorite activity of his with you

if you pass out afterwards, he will take a cute lil pic of you curled up in bed (and then he gets off his ass to clean you up and make sure youre okay)

Shouto:

this sweet boy,,, if he knows you havent slept much, he offers to take a nap with you

hes worried that maybe youre having some kind of anxiety thats keeping you awake, or depression episodes that drain you but also keep you awake for days at a time

if its nothing like that and you assure him that you just have a pot you need or want to get done, he offers to help you out as much as he can

its so cute tho, since its just the two of you awake for the next maybe hour, he will take mini breaks where he will gently hold your face and either whisper a few things off the miles long list of things he loves about you or gives you little kisses

once everythings done, he will gladly stay and fall asleep with you

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squeakadeeks · 2 years

Text

I live for oversharing on the internet but deadass everytime I pause and reflect on this past year I'm just mind boggled by how absolutely horrendous it was.

gonna pop this under a read more if you want to know the goings on or if you want to have a break in the onslaught of everyone posting their W's to simply revel in the absolute cringe state of my life. going to even out the W to L ratio for a spell-

like ?? i mean to be fair, its not limited to 2021 or a "cursed year", the past few years have been extremely hard and getting harder- but right out the gate 2021 was just misery. Stuck working two awful jobs, one of which was social media based and exposed me to extreme levels of harassment for months and was given no protections by my employer (arguably even the opposite, we were forbidden from turning off comments) and then my other desk job had my boss suddenly do a personality 180 and go from absolutely lovely to excessively hostile without reason to the point where I had to quit.

so then i was just aimlessly floating for a while, before BOOM getting hit with rejection after rejection from grad schools, including both my dream schools in a manner that was exceptionally cold.

AND THEN- things at home popped the fuck off, and i dont want to get into too much detail publicly but we dealt with downright haunting situations involving comorbid substance abuse, borderline, and schizophrenia that again, without getting into details- was the most traumatic period i've had in my life (AND LADS i'm a CSA survivor; shit was fucked up. shit fucked me up.)

AND THEN- my ED spiralled out of control ?? to the point where a bitch got scurvy ?? ? ? in 2021 ??? followed by a cancer scare ??? AND THEN i had to move away from home, abandoning Wiggins, Tudball, and everyone who's ever given a rat's ass about me to cali in august during a 119 degree heatwave.

AND THEN the place i moved for had an atrociously hostile work environment, 80+ hour work weeks, insulting and belittling department heads that bullied at least one student out of the program already as working conditions caused my health to decline so bad I couldnt lift drinking cups. For the past 3-4 months we've had problem sets that would take 15+ hours to complete due every 48 hours every single week, on top of teaching our own classes and getting research started....while living alone for the first time and dealing with all the depression that comes with that. my BMP increased by 20 beats since october from stress.

AND THEN- i got hit with academic probation on my first quarter of grad school. now you might think "well gee those working conditions you listed above sound awful, i'm sure others were in the same boat" NO SIR- im pretty sure im one of only 2 students that were placed on probation...like cha boy went from being top of their class with a 3.99 GPA to being potentially the worst student in the cohort and a sub-3.0 GPA in grad school. girlboss behavior.

A N D T H E N- when i came home for the holidays i discovered that e v e r y s i n g l e c o s t u m e I have made in my career except for the two i took with me had been destroyed, thrown away, or damaged beyond repair while i was gone. like i can't even emphasize to all how fucked up this is hitting me. hypnos is destroyed. lif is SUPER destroyed. Joker, akechi, and aigis had most of their parts thrown away; just to name a few specifically. all of this was news to me and i only discovered it when checking on them to see what i could bring back with me. through the screen i am grabbing you by the shoulders to emphasize that every single godddamn cosplay i have made in my life save for robin and nekomancer have been made completely unwearable. this happened yesterday and i still havent even processed it tbh its just 👁👄👁

and on top of it all, like a goddamn insult cherry on an injury sundae, i watched many of my good friends get engaged or form loving happy relationships while cha boy will likely become a 25 yr old virgin soon bc i continue to struggle to develop relationships/no one irl is interested, my acne is popping tf off, i keep gaining weight for no reason, got a string of terrible haircuts, still cant seem to connect with anyone solidly in cali/have a painfully dilapidated and isolated social life with only a few acquaintances, GOT INTO TWO CAR ACCIDENTS IN ONE DAY, broke my hand during a midterm that i then failed, like!!! tell me that isnt girlboss behavior ✨💅

to conclude this internet overshare; thats the year ive had up until now. i keep thinking 2022 will be better but i also fully know that theres no reason for any of this stuff to abide by a calendar and that realistically when dec 31st becomes jan 1st its just hell and pain and misery and suffering forever actually

#shockingly most of the bad things that happened had fuckall to do with covid #BUT LADS IM TELLING YOU THERES STILL TIME I WOULD NOT BE SURPRISED IF AT THE LAST MINUTE GOD THROWS THAT ONE AT ME #also wouldnt be shocked if i forgot some stuff #like hopefully yall will agree with me when i just say #goddamn

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new-to-this123 · 3 years

Text

Monty’s Revenge

As per requested

May I please request a monty x girlfriend reader? where she was raped too and he does everything he can for her and ruins Bryce.. lots of fluff and smut

(I know the request asks for smut, but the direction I took this story, smut didn't fit. When you read it, you'll see why but I hope you'll still like it though)

Monty X reader

warning: swearing, drug use, alcohol, mention and details of rape, fighting

word count: 2061

NOTES: I haven't posted in a LOOOOONG time. Now that I'm done with school I definitely have more time so I'm hoping to get all my requests caught up! I hope you guys like this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N journal entry

August 27th 2016

Tonight Kat is hosting a party at her neighbors house. Kats parties are always a good time. Maybe I can get Monty to notice me tonight, who knows, I know people say he's troubled but there's something about him that i just love.

Anyways i guess i'll let you know how this party goes.

August 28th 2016

Well lets just say that yesterday didn't go as planned but it was a goodnight!

I don't remember anything from the party. The only thing I remember is talking with Monty, and Bryce outside of Hannah's house. I was very drunk and so was monty. I woke up in the clubhouse with monty. We both don't know if we slept together, but I think we may have. The signs were all there, I have a few hickeys on my neck, and there's definitely cum in my panties.

Monty and I hung out all afternoon, then he drove me home.

Monty kissed me before I left and said he can't wait to see me at school tomorrow!

I'm so happy!

Present day (March 2018)

Y/N was sitting at the lunch table with her boyfriend Monty when Jessica, Clay and Justin show up and sit.

“Hey Y/N, can I talk to you for a minute?” Jessica asked

“Why?” Y/N asked, since Jessica never really talked to her.

“It has to do with the trials” Justin added.

“Look Y/N has nothing to do with that so leave her out of it” Monty said defensively placing his hand on Y/N’s lap.

Jessica looks over at Clay and Justin, and takes a deep breath.

“Y/N there's something i need to show you and it's not easy.”

“ok ……. So show me”

“Not here Y/N” Clay adds

“Why not? Anything you have to tell me you can tell Monty!”

Jessica slides over two pictures.

Y/N looks down at the first one and ,in the corner, she sees Monty passed out on a chair, and in the middle is a naked and passed out Y/N.

In the second one, Bryce is taking a selfie of him raping Y/N.

“Where the fuck did you get these?” Monty yelled, grabbing both pictures.

“When were they taken? How did you get these?” Y/N asked with tears filling her eyes.

“There's a box full of them. But i can't tell you when it was.” jessica replied

“We were hoping you would be able to tell us when this happened.” Justin added

“I mean, i.. I don't know, i can't think of a time that i was left alone with Bryce in the clubhouse, Monty has never let that happen.” Y/N replies.

Jessica, Justin and Clay look over at Monty.

“Don't fucking look at me! I didn't let this happen!! Im gonna fucking kill him.” Monty said aggressively.

“NO! Let me go talk to Bryce.. ALONE” Y/N said looking at all four of her peers.

“I want answers and he's the only one who can give them to me.”

“No way Y/N!” Monty said

“Are you insane?” Clay added

Y/Ns Texts

Y/N: Hey Bryce, wanna grab a coffee at monets after school?

Bryce: why? Sick and tired of De La Cruz? Never thought you’d last this long anyways.

Y/N: urg meet me there at 3

“There meeting with him after school, if you don't want me alone you guys can sit at the back of monet's” Y/N said standing up, grabbing the pictures from Monty and leaving.

“You guys don't come! He’ll know somethings up” Monty said, pointing at Jessica, Justin and Clay.

“Protect her Montgomery” Justin said, looking him right in the eyes.

Monty walked after Y/N.

Y/N walked into Monets and saw Monty in the back with Taylor and Kenneth.

“Urg of course he'd bring his lackeys” Y/N thought to herself as she looked at Taylor and Kenneth.

Y/N orders herself a coffee and sits at a table in the middle of Monets, and waits for Bryce.

At 3;15pm Bryce walked in, went up to the counter, ordered himself a coffee and joined Y/N.

“Sorry I'm late, got caught up with some of the guys.” Bryce said as he sat down.

“All cool” Y/N replied

“So what did you wanna talk about huh? Monty being an ass?” Bryce asked with a big smile on his face.

“No i wanted to ask you when this happened” Y/N said as she slipped him the selfie of Bryce raping her.

The smile on Bryce's face quickly changed to anger. He leaned forward on the table and whispered “where the fuk did you get these?”

“When did it happen Bryce?”

“When do you think?” Bryce scoffed.

“ I don't know, that's why i'm asking you?”

“Just know that you wanted it. You were moaning my name the whole time.”

Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat and asked Bryce again

“When did it happen?”

“When did you wake up in the clubhouse with Monty alone?” Bryce replied with a smirk on his face.

Y/N’s jaw dropped, and suddenly memories of that night flashed through her head.

Hannah’s Party

Y/N is standing outside, holding a beer, sharing a joint with Monty.

“You know i was telling Bryce on our way here that i hoped you were here tonight.” Monty said as he passed Y/N the joint.

“I was hoping you'd be here too Monty” Y/N replied, taking a hit off the joint and coughing.

“Do we have a newbie here” Bryce said as he walked up and wrapped his arm around Y/N.

“ Yes it is” monty replied laughing.

Y/N walked back into the party and spent all night drinking and smoking with Monty.

Near the end of the night Y/N and Monty were clearly very drunk and high. Y/N was using monty as her support and monty was using Y/N as his.

Bryce walked up to them “lets go kids! let's get you home” he said as he placed himself between the both Y/N and Monty and wrapped his arms around both of their shoulders.

Bryce walked them to his car, he helped Y/N into the front seat and Monty in the back.

As he was getting ready to drive off bryce said “now now don't fucking puke in my car”

“No promises” monty drunkenly said from the back, laying down on the back seat, closing his eyes and passing out.

Bryce placed his hand on Y/N laps. Even in her highly intoxicated state she thought his hand was a little too high up on her thigh and tried to move it.

“Shhh baby it's ok” Bryce said as he smiled and squeezed her thigh a little harder.

They got to the clubhouse and Bryce carried Y/N in and laid her on the couch.

“Monty” was all Y/N could mumble in her intoxicated state.

“He's in the car babygirl. You're ok. I got you.” Bryce said as he started pulling Y/N shirt off.

“No” Y/N tried to mumble and squirm away but Bryce overpowered her and stripped her completely naked.

“I know you want this. Everyone does” Bryce said as he started raping Y/N.

“The night of Hannah's party. You were supposed to drive us home. Instead you went to the club house and staged the whole thing” Y/N replied, tears building up in her eyes.

“Naw! Monty walked in on his own and sat in the chair after I got you undressed. And in casual Monty style he was too drunk to notice anything so when i finished i woke him up and told him he fucked you a while ago but i had to leave because it was late and he told me to leave you guys there. He took the credit and look,here you are two years later, still happily together. So why are you bitching, we all got what we wanted in the end”

Y/N looked at Bryce in disbelief.

“We all got what we wanted?” Y/N asked a tear falling down her cheek.

“You got the guy, he got the girl and I got an easy lay” Bryce smiled as he stood up and left.

“YOU RAPED ME” Y/N yelled as Bryce left Monets and Monty ran to you.

“Baby what did he say?” Monty asked wiping away your tears.

“You walked in when he raped me and you did NOTHING!!!!!!!” Y/N yelled as she pushed monty away running out of Monets.

“Y/N!! BAAAABE! HOLD UP!” monty yelled running after Y/N.

“NO! FUCK OFF MONTY!” Y/N screamed tears pouring down her cheeks.

Monty walked away, angry and heartbroken at what his girlfriend told him. He got to Monets,where his car was parked, and got in and drove towards Bryces house.

He got to Bryces and went straight for the guest house.

“YOU FUCKING SON OF BITCH” Monty yelled punching Bryce in the face.

“What the fuck De La Cruz??” Bryce asked, pissed off.

“You raped my girlfriend!” monty replied.

“She wasn't your girlfriend then and she wanted it! She was moaning my name the whole time” Bryce shot back pushing Monty.

“NO!!! YOU RAPED Y/N!!!!” Monty yelled again, grabbing Bryce by the collar of his shirt.

“Your bitch wanted it! And if it weren't for that night you two wouldn't be together! So shut the fuck up before i beat you like you dad does” Bryce spat at Monty.

In that moment Monty’s mind went black with anger and he jumped on Bryce and started punching him over and over again. Kenneth, Taylor, Marcus and Luke all tried to pull Monty off Bryce to no avail.

“Monty! Stop!” Scott said as he pulled Monty up from the back of his shirt.

“FUCK OFF” Monty yelled pushing scott, who stood his ground and grabbed monty wrists.

“CALM THE FUCK DOWN” scott yelled at Monty, as he pulled him out the guest house, to his car.

“He fucking raped Y/N” Monty told Scott.

“And you fucked him up. Youll be lucky if he doesnt fucking die dude” scott replied.

“Good, he deserves it!” Monty said, getting into the passenger seat of his jeep.

“Y/N’s parents are gone for the week, that's where we're going” Scott said as he got into the driver side and drove off.

“Y/N open up it's me Scott” Scott said knocking and Y/N’s door.

“Oh my god you are an impatient neighbor!” Y/N said as she opened the door.

“OH MY GOD MONTY!!!” she yelled as she saw Monty's black eye and bloody nose.

“You should see Bryce, he looks worse” Monty smiled.

“Ya pretty sure he almost killed him” Scott replied.

“You went after your best friend?” Y/N asked, leading Monty to the bathroom.

“Of course I went after him! He hurt the love of my life, and lied to me about it. He’s lucky I didn't kill him.” Monty smiled.

Y/N wiped the blood of his face and hands.

“I love you Montgomery” Y/N said, bandaging his hands.

“I love you too Y/N” Monty replied kissing the top of Y/Ns head.

“Hey you two im gonna head home i'll see you tomorrow.” Scott said, leaving and heading next door.

“Let's go cuddle and watch a movie” Monty said wrapping his arm around Y/N’s shoulders

Y/N and Monty ordered a pizza and cuddled for three movies in her bed.

“Y/N…” Monty said moving some hair out of Y/N’s eyes.

“Ya?” Y/N replied butterflies in her stomach.

“I really love you.” Monty said looking into Y/N’s eyes.

“Monty, i can't have sex, i don't know when ill be able to but I'm not comfortable with it right now. After finding out about Bryce, I don't know, i feel different” Y/N said tears building up in her.

“ Hey baby girl, it's ok, I'm here for you no matter what and it doesn't matter how long it takes, I'll wait for you to be ready. I love you and I'm not going anywhere.” Monty replied wiping away Y/Ns tears and bringing her into a hug.

#montgomery de la cruz #monty de la cruz #monty x reader #justin foley #scott reed #bryce walker #marcus cole #jeff atkins #zach dempsey #clay jensen #tony padilla #tyler down #13rw fanfiction #13rw #13 reasons why #13 reasons why imagine #thirteen reasons why

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staystrongandalwaysloveyourself · 3 years

Photo

Today [September 3] marks 2 years since my dad passed away. There isnt a day that goes by where I dont think of him. I always miss him and yea I have good days but I also have bad days. Days where I dont want to wake up, days where all I do is cry. Then days where Im ok, not sad but not happy just existing. Then days where Im so happy and just living life. Grief doesnt have a timeline and its something Ill do for the rest of my life. It never gets easier being without him, just learning how to live with it. I was 29 when my dad died, I feel like I still need him and I will always need him. I miss just the normal days where we would sit out on the porch and play with the cats. Or if it was a nice day he would be outside washing his car or cutting the grass. The Sundays where we would be yelling at the tv for our favorite driver or favorite football team. Where we would spend every memorial day watching the Indy 500 and the coke 600 all in one day. The days where we would go to the race track, for my first race. The days where we would go messing around with my mom included. Just days where we would laugh so hard we were crying. The day the hurricane hit and we lost power. He sat outside with us killing flies and made a big deal out of each one. Those are the days I want to remember, not the last month of his life. Not the day where we found him dead and I did CPR on him. That was the longest 20 minutes of my life and the whole time I knew he was gone but I guess I had hope in the back of my mind for him to wake up. I miss going to wake him up on Christmas morning so we could unwrap our presents together. The days where he would claim he gets the whole month of August because his birthday is in August. Life isnt the same without him, everyone who knew us always called us the three musketeers because we were always together. Since graduating high school we were together, did everything together. I know hes in heaven now with his mom, I know hes no longer in pain. The last three years of his life was hard for him. I know hes watching over me and I know hes still here in the house. We always hear him and I see butterflies all the time. The day after my dad died I saw a butterfly and I knew we would be ok. If you are going through grief know you are not alone. Im always here if anyone needs to talk, dont be afraid to ask for help. I love you guys and you guys get me through the tough times. Just as much as I help you guys. I simply grateful for everyone on this blog.

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irondadfics · 4 years

Note

I’m looking for fanfics where Peter is Tony’s biological child and he goes missing/gets kidnapped as a young child. He is raised by someone else and doesn’t know he’s Tony’s son. I’ve already read Lost Boy and Things I Almost Remember on archive of our own and I wanted to find stories with a similar plot.

WHEW! It’s kind of a long list, but we did our best finding several fics that feature both BioDad!Tony and Peter being kidnapped at a very young age. ENJOY!!

PETER IS TONY’S SON BUT THEY WERE SEPARATED WHEN PETER WAS A CHILD REC LIST

Lost Boy by winterda

Isaac Stark disappeared from a crowded park a few months shy of his third birthday. There were never any signs of him, and no arrest were ever made in connection to the case. It was as if the toddler had simply vanished off the face of the earth. Twelve years later, Peter Parker has a really bad day, which only get worse when his prints are put through the system.

Things I Almost Remember by IcedAquarius @icedaquarius31

Peter's past is not as it appears. It all starts one day with a genetics project and slowly spirals into something Peter never could have imagined.

hydra's not a home by tempestaurora @tempestaurora

At 6 years old, the son of Tony and Pepper Stark, Peter, is kidnapped, never to be seen again. Or, so they thought. Ten years later, while raiding a HYDRA base, the Avengers come across a new, enhanced individual, working for the enemy: in black spandex, with a tendency to stick to walls and shoot webs from his wrists, the Black Spider is a pain in the ass in more ways than one.

If They Knew All About You by MsHermia

Tony Stark had lost his son when he was only 2 years old, stolen away in broad daylight with nobody the wiser of what exactly happened. Years later, Tony has just made it through the disaster with Ultron. He is trying to keep himself and the team together but relationships are strained and tempers are running high. Then a random turn of events leads to his path crossing with that of a particular vigilante. They are strangers to each other, or so they think.

Peter Parker is on top of the world. After a few shitty years, losing his parents and then losing his Uncle, things are finally looking up. Sure he lives in a crappy little apartment with his Aunt but he might have just found his mission in life.

------

This is an AU story obvious by some of the tags. I'm starting out a few weeks after Age of Ultron took place. Civil War will be a thing. Other than that I'm not too concerned about sticking to every canon detail and storyline.

Finding Their Way Home by ElliahRose

Peter Benjamin-Edward Stark went missing on a Tuesday. For months the entirety of the New York police department, as well as anyone else the Starks could convince to join, searched for the tot. He was only three when he was taken and for four months, two weeks, and four days, Tony Stark and Pepper Stark (nee Potts) worried and fretted over their beloved child.

Peter Benjamin-Edward Stark was murdered on a Friday. A ransom call gone wrong spelt the end of the child’s life. The world grieved as the kidnappers gleefully told the devastated parents they’d find his body in the morning.

They never did.

Twelve years passed and the family was still grieving, and Tony Stark worked tirelessly to find his only child’s killer and gain justice for his son.

Meanwhile Peter Parker was having literally the worst day ever. He just wanted to help make the world a better place, but instead he got stabbed. That's just his luck, isn't it?

missing, presumed dead by hailingstars @hailing-stars

They hadn’t had a funeral for Peter.

There hadn’t been a casket or a service inside a church.

There had been, before Tony decided in his heart that Peter was gone, candlelight vigils and pleas on the media for whoever had taken him to bring him home. Neither of those did any good. Neither of those brought Peter home.

Tony Stark's son gets kidnapped when he's two. Twelve years later he comes back.

I told you to be better (and you became the best) by HaruK

Tony was blessed with a healthy baby boy, and for once in his life, was actually happy. Until everything derailed and he had to send his son away to keep him safe, because those related to the Stark family, one of the worlds biggest and most targeted families in the black market, always end up hurt. With a new name and identity that Tony himself doesn't know, the young baby was wiped off the map, his existence erased, never to be heard of again. . Years later, Anti-hero Iron Man meets a local superhero vigilante and Tony becomes surprisingly close with young Peter Parker.

The Curly-Haired Boy In The Paper by Svn_f1ower @svn-f1ower

When Tony sees the blurry, grey scale photograph of someone he thought he had lost years ago, he follows the trail to a newspaper company, to a hospital, to an adoption agency, to the police station and finally to May Parker's house.

hold him tight & don’t let go by jessicagoddamnjones @farremoved

Peter Stark went missing when he was four years old.

Eleven years later, he’s found.

Only now he’s Peter Parker by day, Spider-Man by night, and he doesn’t like the idea that his entire life is a lie.

Rise from the Ashes; Just to See You Again by Mintstream @iwritedumbshit

Tony Stark didn't expect Mary Fitzpatrick, or the news she delivered. He didn't expect that he would become a father, or that he would actually enjoy it. He didn't expect Penny to love him just as fiercely as he did her.

He didn't expect to lose her so soon.

In the wake of the loss of his daughter he tried--tried to do right by her. He became Iron Man, he was an Avenger, he protected his world because he couldn't protect his daughter, but through it all, he hoped to be reunited with his daughter.

He didn't expect to be alive when he was.

AKA the biological daughter kidnapping AU no one asked for. Hope you read, and hope you enjoy.

Updates on Saturdays.

Coming Home by inkinmyheartandonthepage

AU – Peter Stark was kidnapped when he was just three years old. Tony and Pepper never stopped looking for their boy. Years later, Peter finds his way back home.

A Change In What We Knew by Imissyoutoo @imissyoutoo

Tony scoured the floor behind Steve as though his one-year-old son had somehow crawled to him, before finally, he looked up. The realisation dawned on him like an eclipse; the decaying darkness hiding the sun. Hiding his son. Because his boy wasn't there.

”Where is he? Steve? Where's my son Rogers?!” At only a year old, Tony Stark’s son is taken, leaving him shattered. Little does he know, his journey to find what is lost only begins twelve years later. In the most unlikely of places, and all because of two words.

”Hey kid.”

I Found You by honestchick

Tony had a son; he raised him for two years until someone kidnapped him. Tony was devastated and heartbroken. And who would have thought in Starks Expo, he’d be able to see his son once again?

move back home forever by chasingflower @evahmohns

The results say he’s not actually Peter Parker.

They say he’s Peter Stark. You know, the one who’s been missing for 10 years.

Yeah. He knows.

Soon You'll Get Better by lostinmorewaysthan1

Peter Stark was kidnapped. That was all anyone knew. He vanished into thin air, no traces left behind, when he was eight years old.

Six years later, on one of the final raids on the HYDRA bases, they find an enhanced assassin, with super strength and the ability to climb walls. No one imagined that it would be Peter. Least of all Tony.

With no memory and brainwashed by HYDRA, Peter Stark goes home and tries to recover.

Let This Road Be Mine by CommunicationFlail

Ten years ago, five year old Peter Stark disappeared. When the trail went cold, the case was closed. Now new evidence has been brought to light and Tony will stop at nothing to get his son back. No matter how many fakes he has to meet. His son is out there, and he will find him.

Return to me, the one I love so endlessly by SuperHeroTiger @superherotiger

James Edwin Stark was born on the 10th of August 2001, and for the first time in his life, Tony Stark cried tears of joy.

All the fears, all the dread that had once consumed his soul washed away with a single look at the baby’s gentle features, so familiar and yet so distinctly unique at the same time. Tony made many promises that day. Promises to love his son, to protect him, to always be there for him.

On the 10th of August 2002, James Edwin Stark was stolen in the middle of the night, and his father’s world came crashing down. Shattered and alone, Tony whispered the same promise he’d made to his son the day that he was born.

‘…My love for you is endless…’

Fourteen years later, hidden away from the world in a forest of pine, Peter Beck would dream of a day he might get to see the towering city of New York. And when a wounded stranger stumbles onto their property a week out from his birthday claiming to be a famous billionaire from New York, his dream might just come true.

Once Lost Now Found by FreckledAvenger11

Peter Parker was just trying to get used to life without his uncle. He wasn't expecting to find a familiar face in an article about Tony Stark's missing son. Follow Peter on his journey to discover just who he is. Is he Peter Parker? Is he Spider-Man? Or is he someone else entirely? Just who is he and what secrets died along with his parents in that plane crash?

So He Walks The World Alone by Miola014

This is a story 'bout a broken boy With his headphones in just to block out the noise Of everyone around him telling him the way to go So he walks the world alone Wondering if it gets better Or if he's always gonna feel empty forever So he gets lost tryna find another way back home As he walks the world alone

The Kidnapped Peter Stark AU that I promised y'all!

#fic rec list #tony is peter's biological dad #kidnapping

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redrabbitspod · 4 years

Note

This is in no way meant to be rude or disrespectful and I am fully aware that you can do whatever you please but I feel like Neil is getting so out of character. He clearly started to develop more of an own personality but he definitely has been through so much and he is just so..cheery and happy and clingy all the time(which if you’re like that is in no way wrong or bad) and now he reminds me so much of Nicky in AFTG. It’s really hard for me to still see Neil.

OOC: This is very long, and while we think everything leading up to it is super important to our thought process (and yes this is something we’ve thought about) the bit in bold is the heart of the point we try to make. (Please read the whole thing though!)

Hey, I’m actually really happy that you sent this in because I’ve been wanting to talk about it. I know that there’s a post going around that we both wholeheartedly agree with about Neil reaching far past ooc and becoming very ‘fem’. Jeni and I had a really long talk about this because we were worried that our Neil would be perceived or mistaken to fit in that trope. And while I think your concern is EXTREMELY valid (note: people can write the characters however they want. It’s fanfiction, they can do as they please, like you said, we just did not want to go that direction), I have a few points as to why I disagree.

On surface I definitely get that. Idk if you’ve read the entirety of RRP, but I know for those of you that just read the asks (Im sure there are a lot), it DEFINITELY seems that way. But we went into RRP right off the bat letting people know that these characters will fundamentally be different. In Andrew’s case, we know he’s extremely soft now and we bring that up a LOT in the fic. Both himself acknowledging it and all the other characters around him. But we went in knowing he was going to be very different from canon - mainly because we took out the plotline that he was ever put on meds. In Wish You Were Here, the story we are writing post-season 2, we will be mentioning that and how we twisted it. Because in canon, that shaped his entire character. The medication changed the physiology of his brain and we hated the fact that something so abhorrent was forced upon him by the courts that we didn’t do it. And as a result, Andrew’s character is completely different because he’s able to tap into emotions that were blocked in canon. He’s able to grow in ways that he was not able to before and besides the fact that this is set a good while after college and especially his sophomore year that we saw in canon, he was going to change. We definitely know that them admitting that they love each other, making strides in their relationship both physical and mental, opening up, expressing, for his character may seem extremely ooc for some, but we had to take into account what would’ve happened if we took the thing that shaped his character in canon away. I hope we’ve done him justice.

Now onto Neil. Neil we work over a LOT. And when Jeni brought this up to me because of the post, there were glaring things in my mind that automatically said no. This doesnt apply to our Neil even though to some it may seem that way. Here’s what we’ve done at least very consciously to make sure that our Neil holds integrity to his canon character, that he holds merit and a backbone to back up how he’s grown throughout our series.

From day one, we knew that they knew each other. We knew that an event from the past not only shaped how Andrew approaches life, but how Neil does as well. Childish sentiment and nostalgia kept Neil in Arizona for so long, which we imply throughout season 1 and start the ball rolling in the first chapter. For the both of them, they held onto the boy they met at the Grand Canyon through everything they’d been through. When shit got tough, it was each other they thought of. And on some wild whim, Neil hoped one day Andrew would walk through the Book Nook’s doors and he’d see him again. Not because Neil had a crush, because he didn’t. But because Andrew was the embodiment of strength for him.

New York was really important to us. Neil standing his ground and letting Andrew know exactly what he’d done to him, was what the entirety of Season 1 and EVEN season 2 culminated and came back to. Neil being able to say no, fuck you asshole, and always express exactly how he was feeling, was so vitally important to us. ESPECIALLY when it came to Andrew. Those few weeks of New York we wanted to build a bridge if you will. Andrew’s intentions were always genuine and well-meaning and Neil knew that, but survival instincts and what’s been ingrained in him stuck. They started to have a little give when he came to realize that he felt something for the man before him. But he never lost that fight for himself. That HE has to ALSO be okay. And I think we see a lot in that trope of Neil that he loses the fight, the backbone, the integrity that makes his canon character so compelling (even if he is a martyr).

One thing we worried people would misinterpret was how fast we pushed their characters together. We definitely get that. In our world we didnt really have the luxury of really stretching it out like some may have, just because we were working with real-time. And honestly? As we wrote, the drive to push them together because they were so connected and intertwined just fell genuinely and organically. For us, it only made sense and not because of canon, but because of the story we’d written already. It made sense to us for Andrew to be the one to hold himself back and Neil be the one reaching out - Neil be the one exploring and beginning to recognize what want and really, agency over himself AND his wants, was. Neil was the one to ask for their first kiss here, Neil was the one to initiate them all afterwards, Neil was the one that asked Andrew to touch him, Neil was the one that asked what they were in Arizona, Neil was the one to bring up sex. And in return, Andrew was peeling away layers of himself, feeling accepted, and wanted, and understood in ways he’d never been before. And honestly? Feeling honored that they were both experiencing emotions in ways that they both never felt before. We see their relationship has an equal give and take, a push and pull. And I’m saying all of this because it’s honestly and truly really important for why we’ve made Neil’s character the way that he is.

Going into season 2, we knew that happiness could not last long. They both had things to sort out, they both had hurdles to hop over, bridges to cross, whole fucking oceans to swim. Before season 2 started, before we had anything written or really even solidly planned, we knew they had to break up. Jeni even had the scene written back in either july or august. We knew that in order to continue trying to give integrity to their characters and relationship, how far they’d grown but also that growth is not a linear path, we needed to break them up. And in the lead up to that, we made sure that Neil was not only looking out for Andrew or trying to, but that he was looking out for HIMSELF. Unlike in canon, he didnt automatically have the foxes - not in his head at least. Of course he knew he had a home there, he knew that he had friends, but they weren’t like canon because he didnt grow WITH them like he did in canon. In his mind, he really only had Andrew and if there was no Andrew, why stay? And when their fight happened we made sure that Neil had value enough in himself, care for himself, love for himself AND for Andrew that they couldn’t let this go on any longer. Neil left because he knew he deserved better. He knew Andrew needed help and he couldn’t provide it. And he held onto that. In fact, Andrew even held onto it himself:

“Is there no hope, then?” Andrew asked, unable to help himself.

Neil sighed and Andrew was grateful that he at least didn’t pretend that he didn’t know what Andrew meant.

“I don’t know, Dr- Andrew.” Was it possible for his chest to hurt even more? He wanted to curl in on himself, but settled instead for clenching the sharp corners of the pack of cigarettes in his pocket into the palm of his hand. He watched as Neil bit the inside of his lip and that little indent appeared. Maybe he feels it, too . “Part of me wants to say fuck it all and let’s just go home. I hate this... But I hate what you’ve been putting me through these last couple of weeks even more. I can’t do that again,” he stopped talking once more and inhaled a shuddering breath. “You broke my heart, Andrew. I know I sound dramatic and stupid, but I don’t know how else to say it and - I don’t know how to do this, for fucks sake.” He finally turned to him, but the eye contact was brief and before it was even there, it was gone. “I came into this knowing nothing about relationships and I know even less about breakups. I don’t know how to navigate this.”

“You think I do?” Andrew asked. He didn’t mean for it to sound so bitter, but there it was.

“I don’t know with you,” Neil shrugged. “I feel like you keep everything so close to your chest, that there are whole sections of you I’m missing. And listen, I don’t blame you. You should be able to choose what you want to share. But I can’t help that it makes things hard when you’re falling apart and I don’t know why...”

Andrew let go of the box and put both of his hands in his lap. Grinding his teeth together, he heard the beginning hum of Bee’s buzz , but took a deep breath to try and keep her at bay. Clearing his throat, he looked back to the stadium and that stupid orange fox paw, before he murmured, “What if I offer you a piece?” - suddenly and quickly said, it was as if his mouth was trying to outrun his mind, despite the second he took to contain it. He’d known this would eventually come - that he would have to do this. And besides, Neil deserved an explanation, even if they never got back together.

“Andrew-”

“I’m not offering with hopes that we’ll get back together right now, Neil. I’m working through shit the best I can. Therapy is helping, but I know it’s a process. I just know you deserve an explanation. And I haven’t wanted to tell you because it’s fucking horrific, but I was also afraid that it would send me even further down the spiral if I talked about it. Now that I have a space to vent through, I don’t think I’m so afraid of the fall.”

This part was so important to us for both Andrew and Neil’s character. And in the entire build up to the break up and directly after, Neil held onto the fact that they needed to talk. He kept bringing it up. Because he knew that if they didn’t it would escalate just like it did before.

“I wouldn’t risk being with you again if I didn’t think things would be different. I’m not better and to be honest? I probably wont ever be better. I’ve spent my entire life dealing with my shit by myself because that’s just how it was. I’ve avoided relationships because I never trusted anyone with my baggage and I didn’t think it’d be fair to pile it on someone anyway. So when it comes to talking about shit - I’m not used to that. Bee was the only person I’d ever told everything to, and she doesn’t even know all of it.”

“I know that,” Neil said, leaning forward as if to show Andrew how much he actually understood. If that was the case, Andrew believed him. “I know you, Andrew. I would never force you to talk about something you don’t want to. That’s not what I’m trying to do. But , I need you to work with me, and if not me, someone else. Don’t take it out on me when you’re going through shit that neither of us can control. It’s not fair and it makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong and I can’t fix it.”

Now. Now we’re up to your points. I promise all of this was important for me to explain, because I know there’s literally SO MUCH that we’ve written, that shit happening now can get in the way of everything that’s happened before to lead up to this.

We fully recognize that Neil is definitely happy. But he’s not happy-go-lucky and we tried really hard to make sure he didn’t lose his integrity - his backbone - the things that made Neil, Neil.

Something I realized throughout this series was that I was getting worried that the focus of season 2 was so heavily on Andrew. I was seriously worried about that. But then I realized that Season 1 was focused solely on Neil. Season 1, Neil was a fucking wreck. It was Matt AND Andrew comforting him, Matt and Andrew bringing him down, Matt and Andrew trying to protect him, take care of him, find him, search for him, all of that. But even through Neil’s horrific anxiety and all the bad shit that happened, it was still Neil that pushed himself up from the ground, pulled Lola back, and gave Andrew the in. It was Neil that fought with the doctors and nurses to see Andrew and make sure he was okay. Even still afterward though, it was Neil discovering and Neil understanding and a lot of Neil, Neil, Neil.

Season 2 is heavily focused on Andrew. We’ve already seen Neil’s story and his growth. Its Andrew’s turn to try and again, build his bridge to getting better. But with that, it was Neil that made the strides to speak and handle Ichirou, it was Neil that figured out things with his uncle, it was Neil that ultimately had the gun, brought Andrew for practice - took it out and demanded Andrew get behind him this time. It was Neil that looked Andrew in the eyes as the cops patted them down and desperately tried to tether them together. It was Neil that kept reassuring Andrew they were going home. It was Neil that snapped the moment the cop tried to put his hands on Andrew to show them where their things were when they left the prescient, and ANDREW that allowed himself to be pulled into Neil’s arms in that moment, because he knew that he was the one thing that was SAFE. It was Neil that held Andrew that night and Andrew that LET himself be held as he broke down.

That was one chapter ago. And we really tried to illustrate at the end that they have a life ahead of them now. They have a future - a future that is spread out and it’s bright and full of possibilities. They have a future where they can do what they want. They have a FAMILY. They have nieces, Aaron, Kate, Bee, the entire TFN team. Neil had nothing and now he has something. He has hope.

Promise Im coming down to the end omfg. This is why our Authors and End Notes are so fucking long i swear to fucking god.

This BTP chapter, we wanted to explore that fucking unbridled happiness. That elation of fuck - we have the world out in front of us. We don’t have any killers on our backs, Hailey is safe, Robin is safe, Jean is out, the Moriyama’s are taken care of, Stuart isn’t begging Neil to join the Hatford Branch, Aaron and Kate might be moving back to South Carolina, they’re married and all of that isn’t terrifying. It’s COMFORTING. So yes, this BTP chapter was bright and cheery. Neil was most certainly happy and showing it. Jumping on the bed, kisses all around, getting excited over ZOO BABIES and a ZOO CHOO train. But just because we show this side of him where he gets to go on a road trip and experience real and true fucking freedom for the first time, doesn’t mean that we’re all of a sudden shedding everything that we’ve built for his character. I don’t think that’s what you meant, but I mean it when I say we take the characters, the integrity of the characters, very, very seriously. Also in this chapter, Neil takes a homophobic asshole to task and not in the way that a lot of people do, but by quietly hinting at the threat because Neil doesn’t need bells and whistles. In fact, he even talked about how being happy was something his mother frowned upon:

Because the way he looked at Neil when a butterfly landed on his finger or when he snuggled up to a goat in the petting zoo let Neil know that Andrew was happy. And he was happy. That was something Neil never really had in his life. His mother didn’t care if he was happy, only that he was alive . In fact, the less happy he was, the fucking better. By her logic, he was less likely to go rogue if he didn't feel like there was something to be happy about outside of her.

Neil’s finally had a moment to enjoy and let go and we know exactly how that can come off, but we have an entire future planned for them and the book they’re about to explore. Spoiler Alert: It won’t be all “butterflies and rainbows”. But all of this does not mean that all of a sudden we’re giving in to tropes and changing his character entirely because of one chapter. RRP and it’s characters mean too much to us.

So I definitely get where you’re coming from and I’m so fucking sorry this is so long omfg. And I respect your view because we definitely worried that people would see them like that. But we have a reason for almost everything we do in this fic and really, we just wanted to see the boys happy here. We don’t believe he’s like Nicky and we don’t believe he’s clingy, but everyone interprets these characters differently, and you’re certainly entitled to that opinion. We hope this just makes our thought process on Neil’s development a little clearer. - The Creators

#Anonymous #red rabbits pod #ooc #rr answers 2

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