jescasparkles
Memories of a time...
wanna know about me, click the page "The Girl"
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Always the same time..
when it gets closer to my birthday, theres always two people i miss the most.
My Mum & My Best Friend
and each year i feel that emotion come over me like a slow wave, slightly building up each moment until something as small as a song lyric will send them over flowing.
Its hard to think what life would be like if either of you could have stayed.. D, I know this life wasn't meant for us, you are apart of my soul, but this life was meant for where i am now, and i like to imagine you got married and had children that got to grow up with your sisters children & go on the adventures you did as kids, and id hope that we would still keep in touch, even if it was a simple catch up every now and then - i hope even in death you remember how important you were to teenage me and still are to me now.
Mum, oh god do i wish you were here to wrangle these gremlins in, i know your having a good ole time with the rest of the family laughing at the grief these 3 give me, but oh do i love them - the may get on my nerves 110% but i couldn't imagine my life without them, without being a mum.
Its crazy to think that you have been gone for so long and that i have a (nearly) 11 year old, 9 year old and my baby is off to school this year mum, SCHOOL! gah shes so ready and boy is she fiesty, steve really likes her and i think she would of been your side kick for sure.
Oh also mum, i met this girl, ok well actually i made friends at the gym, its weird making friends as an adult, but they just get me & they are so cool - but Emily mum you would love this girl, shes so funny, shes like the crazy little sister i didnt get to have - shes got the same sence of humour as us and shes just a beautiful soul! Her stories are hilarious gah i wish you could meet her - im so grateful she popped into my life :)
anywho i was driving the other day and thought 15 year old me never imagined id be here doing what i am now, oh how life changes. still wish you were here.
god i miss you.
"that last kiss, ill cherish until we meet again and time makes it harder I WISH I COULD REMEMBER, but i keep your memory, you visit me in my sleep, my darling, who knew"
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Another year has come and gone since you physically left - and each year missing you doesn’t get easier 💛
“Grieving the loss of someone you love, feels like carrying them around, hidden and invisible to the naked eye, but your spirit heavy with their memory and presence.
I carry him with me every day, and these days don’t weigh me down as much with sadness. These days his memory stamped on my heart is as normal to me as the colour of my eyes , the sound of my own voice.
When you mention him, You aren’t reminding me of him. He’s already intertwined with my every thought. When you mention him you are reminding me I’m not alone in remembering that he did exist, that he was here & he was my soul mate”
#dct#bestfriend#soulmates#quotes#life#love#soul connection#soulmate#gonebutneverforgotten#missmyfriend
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Even if I knew the day we met would be the reason this hear breaks, Oh I’d love you anyway
#dct#soulmates#bestfriend#life#love#soul connection#soulmate#best friends#missingyou#gonetoosoon#12years
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Kids, huh
so my 10 year old son, honestly loses his shit at me all the time, when i try to talk to him he yells that i care about his sisters more than him, that i like them more.. all while yelling and screaming while im trying my best to talk to him normally.
when your medicated and try to lower the doses and this bullshit makes you think you need to up it again because being yelled at all the time isnt my idea of fun.
for some reason i've always wanted to give them the things i didn't get as a kid, but they dont even appreciate it - they just want more more more, like the cost of living isnt an issue right now.
this is all over the place..
i miss my mum, i wish she was here to help me navigate this, my dads great .. but i hate this time of year.. when it reminds me that i lost one of my best friends and my mum within a year of each other yet their anniversaries are only 10 days apart.
i dont know i feel fucking defeated - my almost 4 year old has the attitude of the 8 & 10 year olds & i love my kids i do, but god i need a break from their fighting and attitudes and tattle telling.. theyre the best kids for everyone else but us.
and yeah i know im a good mum, i know my mum would be proud of me but fuck thats not what i want to hear when i feel this way.
ughh fuck its so fucking hard putting on the happy go lucky face some days man
youd think after 10 years id know wtf im doing and how to handle it 🙄
and back to mr 10 - we are building an extension on the house so they can all have a new room, thought that because he's the oldest and the only boy he could have it , well fuck me he's not appreciative of that at all - makes me want to burn it all🔥
i think this is whats causing the excessive migraines too
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“Butterflies cannot see their wings. But the rest of the world can. - You. You are beautiful and while you may not see it, we can.”
— Unknown
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HBD
We've always been connected on a cosmic level.
So, I'm sending your birthday wishes on the stars.🌟
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I HE was too young to know how to love herME.
“I was too young to know how to love her.”
— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry / The Little Prince
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“You have a place in my heart no one else ever could have.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald
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& we will meet in the next ....
We must have met lifetimes ago... 🌊🦋
By @dreamy_moons
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